Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Sarah Keyworth & Josh Pugh (Rearrange the Cutlery Drawer) S12E05

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to rearrange the cutlery drawer… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a Flatshare Slamdown!WithJosh Pugh - https://twitter.com/JoshPughComic&Sarah Keyworth - https://twitter.com/sarahkcomedyLIVE IN PERSON SHOWSMONDAY APRIL 4TH https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288183593887TUESDAY APRIL 5TH https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288180163627BOTH SHOWS https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/288187054237MACHFEST SATURDAY 30TH APRIL https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2022/pappys-flatshare-slamdown-5/Pappy’s - https://twitter.com/pappystweetSupport us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of FlatShare Slam Down. FlatShare Slam Down. What a treat we have for you this month. I'm saying it's one of our prime cuts. If our podcast comes in cuts. It certainly does. Yeah, and it is a bright, you're gonna get some real choice steak here from there. There's a lot of steak. There's a lot of steak and some people say we don't cut enough but that's for you to decide. Nothing, it's known as to tail dining is what you're getting. Well I'll tell you what portion size is not our problem. No one's complaining that the episodes aren't long enough, I can tell you what portion size is not our problem. No one's complaining that the episodes aren't long enough. I can tell you that for nothing.

But it was really fun. We had a great time. This is an episode, a flat-sheast stand-down recorded at the Phoenix just last week. It's fresh. It's fresh meat. It's glittering with the Phoenix. It's London's grip.

This is in the Phoenix. We were there and we had two superb guests in Josh Pugh and Sarah Keyworth. And I think it's fair to say Sarah was bamboozled by the whole affair. But from early doors, occasionally it happens where someone comes on the show, Daro Brie and Springs to mind, and they've got no kind of clue what they're doing. Because Sarah had done a beef brus and I think she thought it was just gonna be like that. She did a brilliant beef brus the cold cut.

Thought it was just gonna be like that and it was, it's, it's, it's, it's, for the uninitiated, it's quite an odd show. You forget that when you're doing it. That's when I was a shopper, right? Well, it's, it's, it's very good. I must have been, I was slightly bummed beasled the other way though.

I was a bit star struck with these two guests because such a big fan of both of their works. I've never seen Josh Live, but online, he's my favourite online guy, putting stuff out there at the moment. It's brilliant. He's brilliant. And Sarah's live shows are, ah,

the best. So I did genuinely, at the start of it it feel slightly intimidated talking to both of them. That didn't come across. It was like... In any way. Alright, okay. That's a relief. No shrinking by the time.

We're also doing a couple more because we had such a fun time. We recorded two back-to-back, So you'll hear the next one next month, but we're going to do a couple more back-to-back at the Phoenix on the fourth and fifth of April. There should be a ticket link in the show notes to this or you can go to Eventbrite and get your tickets there. But fourth and fifth of April, Monday and Tuesday, we're going to be back at the Phoenix for two more shows. And we're also, as well, let's not forget, we're back at MacFest. Phoenix for two more shows and we're also as well Let's not forget we're back at Mac Fest. Mac Fest is back and we are back there We're going to be there on the Saturday afternoon. So go to um, oh, where do you go to hang on a second? I'm sick It's Mac. It's Mac something Which are we because I think we do this every year. We guess the website

Which shall we, because I think we do this every year, or we guess the website. Oh, Tom, Tom, you are so close, man. Mac comedyfest.co.uk, of course, to a British festival, but you know what, that was, I'm sure they've registered the.com as well, just to, if not, then we're gonna register it. Just for my own show, none of the others. But we're there on the Saturday, we might be doing a show on the Sunday, but I guess it just goes, we'll wait and none of the others. But we're there on the Saturday.

We might be doing a show on the Sunday, but I guess it just goes, we'll wait and see how the Saturday one sells. But yeah, come along. Life shows galore. It's gonna be a good month. The Saturday, the 30th of April. So we're doing three flat slams in a month.

Well, that's a mistake. LAUGHTER You'll be able to listen to the fatigue. But it's not a fatigue yet, because this is the first one in a month. Well that's a mistake. You'll be able to listen to the fatigue. Yeah because this is the first one in a while. We're fresh as a day is it? Right time. Sprite. Let enjoy this episode. Tom Ben. What is it Matthew? What is it you break? Now listen one of you hate please. Try to be nice. That's a brand new year. You've had a lot of weird talk about this.

One of YouTube has got to rearrange the cutlery draw. Oh! What is not going to be bad? No. Why not? That's fair, that's fair, it's flaky. Why is it not going to be you, man? Well you know what actually, I think we should rethink cutlery because we've had it now.

It's just really a podcast. 11 years. We've had cutlery for about as long as we've had this podcast, an age. And it's out of date, let's say. I really like some anymore. I think it's time we reinvent them. And I think I've come up with the perfect thing. Let's hear it. Well, basically, your hand, hear me out.

Now, you would normally use your hand to eat. The only reason is it gets dirty, but basically, your fingers are nature's pork. Yeah. Your teeth, nature's knives, your mouth, nature's spoon. What you need to do is swap the colourage off for a glove draw and you're done. Are you trying to say, so do you have to use your own mouth as the spoon? Or are you... Are you suggesting you're not suggesting feeding your guests like that. Like it may be that. Well, I was up for it until I heard that bit.

No, no, no. Which goes no way. Harry, what about you? Oh, this isn't strong, I'm going to warn you right now. OK. That's not... Try to have it heads up, mate. Always nice to have it heads up.

I'm not going to sit at the cutley drawer ever since my uncle tragically died when an entire cutlery drawer fell on him. No! Yeah. And then at his funeral, I thought it'd be quite fun to break the tension if I gave his obituary by using lots of cutlery puns. Oh yeah.

I got out a big red book and said, this is your knife. My auntie, both of them, in Teteers, turns out I was totally prong, it was too spoon. Well Tom, Ben, I mean, where is? There is only one way to settle this, we're going to have to have a flat shell. She's laying down, you're in a flat shell slam down. She's having a flat shell slam down. Flashes like that Flashes like that Flashes like that Hello and welcome to Flashes like that The panel show that says

Well sometimes I go out by myself And I look across the water And I think of all the things What you're doing in my head I paint a picture Cause since I've come on home Well my body's been mess And I missed the tender

and the way you're less. What you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over, Curly? I know it's an end of Matthew crossbeam. Let's meet the table of desserts, burns to my tiny teaspoon of Tom Perry and Benedict Cork. Hello, everyone. I'm happy. Now guys, you can't rearrange a country draw on your own. Who are you helping to buff the silverware? Well, Matthew, bad news, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, no.

Oh, who's that? Every single step of what we've done so far, my guess looks so confused. I know, yeah. It was so early to get a, I can't believe this is a podcast. That's before all of these things. Yeah, exactly.

I've had someone left. What, I loved, Matt, before that started, Matt sat me and said I want to briefed us on some quite simple word games. But failed to mention any of this sort of... That's something we might struggle with. If we talk about this bit, guess I said to do a runner. So we get you on the stage and then we do all this for you.

Every step so far has been inexplicable. You sign Valerie, I can see you have the lyrics in front of you. I've got a lyrics there, yeah, yeah. Miss the lyrics. Well I got confused because the guy bought it. I thought it was quite early and he had done all this to have a walk out. I had to bring some sort of slightly different words to it. And so when I went back down to look at it, I was like,

I've dropped it out a bit about, ginger, I'd actually, well, since I've come on home, well the draw has been a mess. I missed that little spoon that used to be my crest. What? What? What actually, but, such a nice thing, but because I was, I was, I was,

I actually, got a part way through. I looked up and I was like, oh, because we all got a walk out, this early on, we don't get a walk out. I think it's a Friday, he realised he was in the wrong podcast. I think he might have been here. This is an off-men, yeah?

It's off-something. But anyway, yes. Anyway, my incredible guest, Sarah Keyworth, everybody. Sarah Keyworth, you're the best. That's great. Welcome. So, Sarah, it's great to have you here on the show. I don't...

I think the feeling is entirely mutual. That would change as the evening goes on. Oh, I was sweating. It's very relaxed, it's very relaxed. Yeah, I feel relaxed. As long as you've written funny words to us, are you song song? You're going to be funny. Funny words. Funny words.

The word presses a funny word, not the right one. So what kind of a flat may he use? I think I'm all right until I'm not. What's not like? Stop engaging with it, really. I just disappear. I see your moot. You don't move out and not tell anyone.

No, I stay. I'm going to see you move out. You don't move out and not tell anyone. No, no, I stay. But I don't engage. So I'll just go my room for a while and make sure they know I'm there. I'll make noise. Is this what's going to happen? I feel like you are one inch away from not engaging. I'm feeling very at home. I'm not.

I've been on like this engaged. I know like that. I'd like to disengage. Oh, I know. And you're fan of the Zootongs? I am. I think you had a band member of the Zootongs. I know, yeah. So offensive that he brought there. Imagine if that was it.

I'd get this everywhere I go. I'm going to escape it. Ben, who have you brought along with you? I brought along my accent coach, Josh Buu. Josh is here! Josh, thank you so much for coming on the show. What kind of a flatmate are you? I'm a complete pushover.

I? Yeah, so probably good for others, but not good for my own well-being. So what do you end up doing? I don't know if you've been with St. Ben, I wanted to stay at my aunt tonight. Yeah. He hasn't said that bit. What?

I think that's what. I think that's what. I'd be like, yeah, anyway, I can't. Can I use your toothbrush? I'd be like, yeah. I could have been a couple of other guys back. I'd be like, yeah I just go with anything. She's just going to.

I'm Harry Vapy, I've got a lot of audience. I'm just useless. I just, yeah. I guess, are you a yes man or are you a good time guy? It feels like you're a good, it feels like you're a party guy. No it is. I asked you what you were like, you said a lot was up in my room. You were weird if I said you were good times.

I was like, you watch off the room, I'm a great top. Didn't take that as doing. That's what the noises were, it's weird. What are you doing in your room Sarah? Why aren't you? I'm okay. I'm okay. I saw we just to do that. Why aren't you? I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm I was to know. I would come up with something. I can't forget my own voice work. But you've just had a kid, haven't you? Yes. So, are you still inviting random back to that? I'm not inviting them.

I'm not a nutter. Sure. But if a nutter was to say, can I come back to you? You're not a nutter, but you're a meanable to nutters. Absolutely, I'm a facilitator off. Does anybody, because you know the weather's been quite bad recently, and if you train a bit on the fritz at the moment, does anyone need a place to stay tonight?

Because Josh lives in Coventry, so it's a bit of a mission. He's a phenomenal company. Not one person. Not one person. We'll try again at the end of the report. We'll keep asking throughout. So we have with Meta guest, let's see who knows right from prom as we play round one.

Woo! He's back everyone, he didn't leave. Yeah! I see you can no longer fall in love and can't let complete draw by his knife, Fox Bird I see you throw in the ink like you would in a bin, but it's not Fox Bird And then he's pushed through the sick and thought it later through when a cheese grainer I'm sorry, I forgot. My apologies and thanks to the four tops for showing up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm just like COVID, so I haven't been out much. So this is fresh. A few days ago I had such a high fever and I'm like, I think I might have died. So this is a bit that I have explained to Sarah before the show. This round is called Cutlery Quick Draw. I'm going to give a contestant from each team a category, okay? Then they're going to say something from that category as quickly as they can.

The fastest and best answer wins. I will accept some debates, but once I've made a decision, my ruling is final. The good answer quickly delivered is worth two points. However, if you both say the same answer at the same time, it is ten points to charity. And this round's charity is a non-pus research. Medical Foundation dedicated the scientific investigation of the tragic condition of non-pus. What are its symptoms?

Is there a cure? And crucially, does exist at all. My scientists are working tirelessly, 11 AM to 2, Monday to Wednesday, 17 weeks a year to find out. We're starting with Sarah and with Ben, your category. Okay. Okay, long for, I'm out now. to find out we're starting with Sarah and with Ben your category okay okay I'm out now guys Sarah this is still a fee please you still got a fever you're not made like if non-persuper is okay please do not make light of

non-persuper as we have quite a lot of them in the University of the United States. How is non-puss spelled? It is spelled GHP N.Y Silent Y the first while you pronounce N.P. RS anyway, non-puss. Right, we're gonna start with Sarah Menna remember quick draw Okay, well as soon as I say go you're shouting out the answer The first answer the quickest answer and the best answer is the answer that's gonna win, okay? It's a quick draw here. We go all right Sarah and Ben your category is the problem is I've got a word in my head now, okay?

Well, it's word all over again. Yeah You can go for me you can go for that Obviously, I don't want to say that word my head. No, I don't want it exactly. I don. Obviously I don't want to say that word. My head, no I don't want it. Exactly, I don't want the word. Well I tell you what, it's the word nonpers. Guys, I don't know why people are laughing at nonpers here. It's actually extremely serious condition.

I apologise to the guys at the back there with the weird legs. Sorry we couldn't give a jet. Really vast us really. Anyway listen, for a breath with nonpers don't need this kind of nonsense. This early in the show okay right here we go. All right Tom and Josh I'm looking for a holiday essential. Go sunglasses. So right we had a very quick sunglasses, but... Can't fight a bum bag. You weren't happy with it.

And then you went bum bag. Yeah, a little bit slower. It is greater bum bag. It's good, though, isn't it? It's good. It's very functional. It's very functional. festivals and holidays.

Yeah. Bumbags. Different contents for those two. 12. 12, but used to. Different contents for those two. A call. It's about a really 12, but I used to buy a bum bag every holiday. My holiday tree would be to buy a bum bag. How many bum bags do you have? Well, I'd go one holiday a year.

They call him Mr. Bumbag. LAUGHTER Parry laws. Parry laws. Parry laws, guys. We can't afford that. We can't afford that. We can't afford that. We can't afford that. We can't afford to tell Shaggy, okay?

But any if I ask, it wasn't you. LAUGHTER Okay, I think because of the speed and it is a good answer, sunglasses is going to get the point there. So I'm going to be a point to power you there. Okay, here we go. Aulsable gasps in the audience. Not everyone's happy with that. But that's the way it goes. I'm going to be a point to parry there. OK, here we go. Aulsable gasps in the audience.

Not everyone's happy with that. But that's the way it goes. Tom and Ben. Yep. Oh. In just a moment. I was on. I would like you to give me.

Yeah. The nicest food beginning with pea, go. Brawn cakes. Oh. It has to disguise absolutely disgusting. This one is with the standard of a podcast, or with the idea of prawns. Prones, delicious prawns.

Prones are pretty nice. Controversial food prawns. Himichee if you hate prawns. That's a lot of good question. Himichee if you love prawns. Yeah, I can't put it in. I would give him a chance if you hate pancakes. Yeah.

No one hates pancakes. What's I did cheer if you hate pancakes. Yeah. No one hates pancakes. What I did is I love pancakes. It's going to be pancakes. It's a full two points for pancakes there. Well, they're going to be great. Every pancake day you go, I should eat pancakes all the time. We're going to start having them all the time and then you don't.

I take on prawn days as well. Fair enough. It's like every holiday. I think I'm going to buy a bum bag every day. It's done. It's done. Can I just check this anecdote? So when you were 12, you used to buy a bum bag every holiday. And you went on one holiday.

What holiday? One holiday a year. And I reckon the bum bag holiday experience was between 12 and 15. I'm just picturing you. So I'm laughing at some bags. So full of Bumbags. Trying to find your purse. Russian Bumbags.

Rolling your Bumbag. Russian Bumbag. You just leave in the middle. I'm the last day of the holiday. Just drop them in the ocean. You're passing by the way. You're passing that? LAUGHTER

I guess I live in now. I actually graduated, I graduated to a body wallet. I don't got a body wallet. No, I'm massive cheer for that. It's a body wallet, it's a flat one bag. So you secure your essentials at a festival. This feels weirdly seated. Yeah, my wife hates the body wallet

When we got engaged it was at a rolling stone's course. Oh, no So I secrete it the ring It's a first rule of gaming gauge me I secrete the ring in a body wallet First rule of gaining gauge, mate. Basically, create the ring in a body wallet. Oh, my God. Halfway through the gig. That is a sentence from a point of view.

Halfway through the gig, I have to get my body wallet out. I'm unfurling. Go into the body wallet, get out the ring, and then ask it to marry me. This whole thing should be beat down. LAUGHTER Well, I believe this is the worst bit of the body. LAUGHTER

I think a body wallet might be the best I've put clothing to remove lock in the middle finger from. Takes a good five minutes. Just the engagement ring on you. Because a body wallet already goes, I don't give a fuck about anything. I've just given up. Least of all myself. Right, finally. Sarah and Josh, please give me something hugely overrated. Go.

Down with Sim. Tim Westwood. Wow, right. Talk us through it. Dancing is overrated. Yes, it's so shake, you're having a good time, but it's awful. It's just having to do dance, you know, I think. Oh, come on, have a dance, you're waiting, best day of your life. You've got to dance in the middle of it. Diculous.

What would you rather do instead of dance? Just stand there, firm. The staring to me tensedly wants a silo green plate. Probably. But in your middle finger, that's your body wallet. I'm really, it's just, I'm quite torn here because if you guys were at my wedding, Pap is right, at my wedding, my first dance was to DJ Tim Westwood. The big spin in the wheels are steel, so's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that?

I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that?

I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that?

I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what's wrong with that? I was like, what've never liked him. Ben and Sarah, I will let you give me a kind thing to do. Go. Kiss. Walk a dog. Kiss.

Or walk the dog. Now you were quicker on kiss. Yeah. But it's not always a kind thing to do, is it? With consent. Kiss with consent. I mean, is kissing kind? I guess it can. If someone's hurt themselves, and they say, look, can you kiss money, I've got serious numbers.

And you bet he betrays. You bet he betrays to kiss the number away. Is that what you research is doing? We're trying everything. We're trying everything. We're not ruining it out, Tom. At least at least, we're not ruining it out. You don't care so much about noms.

Why is it so hard to get points for charity? Listen. Listen, I, at the mouth... Just a second. The amount of money I've got. The amount of points I personally don't hate to noms to research every single week is huge, right? I think

The thing is we're walking the dog, right? It's kind to the to the person you're walking the dog for but it's also kind to the dog It's kind to the dog, yeah, who's dog is it? It's friends Have they asked you to walk their dog? I'm not unsoliciting walking the dog. Yeah, it's all about consent. Why don't you just kiss the dog? I'm not. You're not kissing the dog?

Why don't you just kiss the dog? Sarah makes a good point. Go right, I will, yeah. Yeah. You're all glad to know. I said, I've got it in the chat here tonight. I can't, I think, not much, no, not much, this is great then for a dog.

It's a great thing. It's sensitive though, what if your neighbour's got a dog? Oh my god! You got the gardener! Go to the gardener, 7 p.m. just to get a dog and shout nonpers into the gardener. Yeah, you're shouting sit nonpers, it's the one to the person with nonpers, you can't do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Go for a warm non-bus, oh come on! I like the fact that everyone in the spenders got a different idea of what non-bus. So I'm going to give, I'm going to get the points to Sarah there. I was like kissing his cane there, I think so.

There's basketball's on. Hands of kissing in. Josh and Tom, I would like the best flavour go. Vanilla strut. Ah! I think with you, Thomas, you never back yourself. Well, vanilla feels like the sunglasses answer again, doesn't it? It's like, vanilla's not a great flavour, but it's...

Vanilla's like literally kind of an insult of a flavour. Do you think so? Yeah, if something's vanilla, it's like, meh. It's like, yeah, it's not the base. It's not just giving to a pizza dough. Yeah, but it's got a lot of potential, hasn't it? Yeah, but that's adding stuff to the flavour, right? Like adding strawberry to it, the lipsus, but strawberry wins.

Strawberry is pathetic. I agree. I agree. I agree. Well, you know what? In the near-polite and strawberry comes last. Oh, enjoy Wembud in the share. Just eat it in vanilla pods. Vanilla pods are great.

Oh, I'm just getting nasty now. I'm giving two points to strawberry there. Of course I have. Now, Ben and Tom, we're back. Hello. Something you don't want to see, go. Rock, iron, erode, and comedy. LAUGHTER

Someone on the field, and fat on the field, mad dog and glory. Right, and what about you? You said Tom. LAUGHTER Larky. I don't stand by it. No, you can't. You can't. Two points to Tom. Final one. Final one in this round. This is for Josh and for Sarah. Why don't you feel like you're not human being? It's a problem. This game. No, not this game. These moments. Not this pocket. These moments, you feel so vulnerable. It's a tense moment, isn't it?

It is tense. Yeah, I feel completely... I can make it much shorter now by just saying the thing. Right, let's do it. A great party theme. Go. To Alice. To Alice.

A lot of lost. You know I'm back, lost. Yeah. So, I'm saying... How much are you into Kisekdox? Only the smallest one. So how does it chew our party? I've got to ask, is it a bit like a cafe?

Will you go to the party in the slowest chew hours round? Or is everyone dressed like a chew hour? And you're playing Beverly Hills chew hour on the TV? What's the... Why I have to sell this concept? Yeah, you've got to keep up. You said you sell it, that's how it's going to go. Everyone's dressed like a Chihuahua in a, like a non-weird way. Chihuahua's... Yeah, we're not talking furries, can't we?

It's a formal event. It's got its corporate spirit. It's quite a corpus, mate. Yeah. They've got more prickly things. But there are also additional, like, real two hours, just serving kind of things. Grey, they've got trays tied to their back. Here's the problem, though. What if you pull, and then when you get them home, you realise you pulled them off the alarm.

Because they thought, oh, this two hours got a good costume in the same height as me. I've seen most people can distinguish between. I've been burned before. How did you think I got the nonsense from the first one? When you're as small as you were. He said it here. It was a great night though, I know regrets. And you went for Romans.

Not the traditional toga party, which we all know, but you were taking it as a step further. And it's romance, we've got chariots, we've got this. It's quite educational. It's about the empire, so we sit down, kind of chat about the Roman Empire. Well, it's the 12-part is going to win the points. 12 points to Sarah, it's the 12 part he's going to win the points. Two points to Sarah! It's time for the point! I'm going to get to making his dodge in my hacks, don't you fuck, it's Ravila. Well, we're in Rome.

So, producer Quinn, as quickly as you can, what are the scores? Go! Thomas Sarah have eight and then Josh have three. Oh! So Thomas Sarah, three. Thomas, two. Go Tom and Sarah have a and then Josh have three Well Welcome back one and all to this cutlery themed episode of Flat Shestlandown. It's Knife to see you, to see you, and fork and spoon before the break, talk and share with in the lead. That hasn't changed, but it might after round two, it's flat games! Let's play forever games. Let's play forever. Roll the dice spin that thing. Put that down. Two is your soul. Game. Two is your kid. Nothing. Games. If you win you get gold.

Gold. Gold. Listen to that. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Indie. Yes. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold, gold, gold, indeed! Yes! Go! Go! Whoa! Chill out, motherfuckers! Come on! This fresh from the Pando! We are playing... For leash! Nothing wrong with their lungs, I'll tell you that.

This week we're playing our version of Singstar, which we are calling SingStar Wars. I mean, I've asked each player to sing the plot of a movie to the tune of another movie. Without announcing the name of either film, your team may as to guess both films. It's a point for each film. If you can't get either and your opposing team is unable to steal that it's ten points to get another charity. A different one. This round it's the neurotic pelvic foundation. Every

year tens of people around the world wake up to find their once funky pelvis as all the get up and go over hermit crab. Just three points a week and put a wiggle back in their hips and a smile on their chops. Then you're up first. Clarky had a Neurotic pelvis in Edinburgh 2014, I assume, to his hand. I'm not sure if it's gonna be that. Now, Clarke, do you recognize, by the way, do you recognize both... I do, I recognize both films, and not what Tom was talking about at all. Fair enough.

Let the record show that. Okay, so we've got producer Gwyn on the ones and twos. If you'd like to play the song, let's have a listen. Let's have a sing Oh, yes, that's okay There's an old man in his house But he said cuz here's why first I'm sorry I'm too Bucking down, so he goes and he ties on Subaloons and he flies off and there's a kid

Very cute, he's a scout, something And they make a great team Then there's a talking dog and subbirds It's a shame, cause it's better at the start than the end of the film Ben Clark that is how you play You know what I'm gonna I'm gonna give you just for the singing of that. I'm gonna give you ten points for the Beautiful beautiful singing but I'm gonna give it straight to charity You wouldn't mind it

Foundation really really appreciate your hard work. They're blocking okay now Josh talk us through it First of all we've got the tune did you recognize the tune? Yeah, yeah We've got the tune. Did you recognise the tune? Er, yeah. Yeah? Definitely recognise that I've heard that before. Yeah, it's a familiar one. Is it Indiana Jones? It is Indiana Jones!

It's Indiana Jones. Okay, but what? Which one though? Which one, let's... Let's not make any other. You know, think of the pelvis. And... He's always... He's always.

He's always. What was the film that Clarkie was singing so beautifully about? I believe it was up that is two points It Feels like it deserves more than two points. It does feel like you know what? I'm gonna give points for for the songs this time. I think why not? I'm gonna give him 10 points for the song there. Why not? Why not? Why not? Thank you.

So there we go. Sarah, here you go. That is your films. Okay. Okay. Oh no, I've not seen it. No more clues. No more clues.

Oh man. I guess just say what you think might happen in the film at all. Okay. I guess. Little bit of an intro on this one, so you're going to have a bit of time to think about it. Not enough time to watch it, but enough time to think about it. Time for the trailer? Yeah, there's a 90 minute intro on this song. You're in luck. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go Okay, okay

Okay, well that's one point Every night in my dreams I don't see you and I don't hear you I've got all of these ways of feeling. And this is the one after five. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

I'm not the taste buds. And I don't have any way of touching. If I had an additional way of sensitive heartbeats I would use this. Is it Bruce Willis? Is he dead? I don't know. I will watch it tomorrow, attending a different song.

I've given away one of the words, I might just call it if I get how long it's this song. How long is this song going? Go on! Sarah Key with everybody! Oh! Beautiful! Beautiful! Wow! A natural singer, as you can hear.

Yes, I'm going to give you... I think I'm going to give you... Can you get points for the song? Beautiful. Beautiful song there. I think I'm going to give you, going to give you eight points for the song. Beautiful, beautiful song there. I think that's excessive, actually. Seven points it is. LAUGHTER That's a bit harsh.

Seven point five, you're gonna have a heart bargain! CHEERING Yeah! I tell you what, you're eating me out of house and home, Eki, where you are. You are welcome, Tom. We're eating me out of house and home, here you are. You're welcome, Tom, where are you in tonight? LAUGHTER I'm hanging home the bacon.

That half point though, it's going to you, pal, mate, guys. It's only fair. It's only fair. Rest up. It's only fair. You have to sit cross-legged at the back, that's really not. That's on us. We haven't thought that through.

We haven't thought that through. So... They're thought that through. We haven't thought that through. So. They're the same men. It's a side effect of the nonsense. Some people have got it. They've got it really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god.

Anyway, Tom, any idea what the tune was? The tune was from Matt Goes Down's favorite film, Titanic. Titanic, of course it was! And what film was Sarah singing about? It was a really, really fun song. It was a six-sense, yes! Really good stuff. Really good stuff. Two points.

Okay. It's just allowed to sing the words. Yeah, I was going to bring it in. I mean, it was a shame, because... I'm very honest, perns. You know what, you did sing it, but I think you chastise yourself more than me deducting points with a dime. So, Josh, how are you in your films? Do you recognise them? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Yeah. Big time. Very close. How's your singing? Week. Well, we'll find out. Well, it's gonna be embarrassing. Um...

LAUGHTER We'll find out. Well, it's gonna be embarrassing. Um. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Parts be the only non-singer on the panel. LAUGHTER producer Gwyn on the ones and twos, let's hear it. MUSIC When you climb in a rock and your dad's up there and your uncle's a prick and they have a big fight and you get lost and make friends with a ward hog. He's very profound.

He's studied philosophy. And then some hyenas come and they're trampling your dad. He's very profound. He's studied philosophy. And then some hyenas come and they trample your dad and your uncle tries to fuck your mother down if that. And then you kill your uncle and then you're the top of the monarchy. I'm saying move over Mark Cammode. I would watch a film review show. It was just that. Sarah and Josh sing the films of the week. I would watch that. Yeah. Sarah and Josh sing the films of the week. I would watch that. I'd love it.

Hold the mayo. LAUGHTER So, plucky. Did you recognise the tune? I did. What was it, mate? It was Ghostbusters. It was Ghostbusters.

Yes. I also love how he only sung one part of the tune of Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah. You still recognise it though. I love that. Any idea what? It's so chorus, baby, that's one of my best. When I'm sung right, and that's one of the,

it's one of the motto's. Well, it's the best bit of a song, so you make the song all chorus. That's the best song of all time. It's all chorus, baby. So, yeah, so I'm going to give you nine points for that for the best song of all time. That's nice. And, uh... The Lion King. It nine points for that for the best time of all time.

And the Lion King. The Lion King of course it was Clarky well done. Right finally we end with Tom. Two films, one theme tune, one plot. Okay, okay. When, for the final time, will you play? Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. There is a big green man and he is in swamp and he's got lit. Little is, little is, little is, and a donkey.

And he is in love with a blonde Bruper's hair Princess Little is an adonky Go on a quest Have a good time Oh, we're having fun too many sequels. No, stop making them.

The first one was good. Then they were rubbish. Oh, yeah. APPLAUSE You like that? Really good. Really, really good, that. I'm going to give you eight points for the singing there. It's so much intensive. Really, it's really inspiring.

You didn't breathe at any point during that time. No, and I Tom Cruise feels that's in my own stance. Can I take charity B Tom's microphone? Right. Right. Okay. So. Sarah.

What are you thinking? What don't you tell us what you're thinking? Just tell us. We don't, we don't you thinking. Words were the agent. But. But. You book me direct, Crosby! You booked me direct, you texted me.

I know, I know, that's how we get them. That's how we get them, yeah. That's how we do. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I've got a lot of enemies. I need you to be on my podcast. What was the theme tune first of all? Do you recognise it? Mission Impossible. It was Mission Impossible, absolutely right. You made it look very possible. And what was the film? Shrek. It was Shrek of course it was! A full two points. No flies on me. Producer Quinn, Wales is patient zero for a Neotic Pelvis disorder.

Tell us this course. Before I did, did we give any points to Tom for... Well I was going to ask. Did I not give you points? My apologies. I thought I said eight points. You said you didn't... I think I said eight points. I was not listening. Sorry about that. It's the... You're right, pelvis.

Just the eight. Just the eight. So, I've just got to do quick bit of maths there. It's all right now, of course. Just the eight. Make it make a six. No, no. Easier to manage, isn't it? I can't... Leave it at eight, leave it make a six No, no easier to find Leave it leave it at 8 because it's fine. Okay, because it's fine It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine guys. I've checked in it's fine

Yeah, so got him got him got him one of the scores at the end of that round. So a generous ten and a half points could you sing them to the tune of Superman? Tom and Sarah have 25 That's So you did you the guy should be great. We love it Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Tom and Sarah have 25 Ben and George have 26 Oh right, well if like when your hips don't lie then they'll fit right in in our next round It's the all to on his court of beef brothers Well, you've got a problem, don't call it a problem If you've got a problem call it a beef If you've got a beef, maybe we can help you from the sorting out your beef.

Yes, it's beef runs where each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat-share-based beef. And today's one comes from Rich, who is in the audience. Rich, are you there? Hello. That's the afflicted section. So brave. So brave. so brave.

Tell you what, rich in spirit. But not in body. Not in legs. And that would be rich in legs, I love it. I've got 40 of them. So, this is... Well, listen, it does pertain to the lower half of the body this, so let's have a read. Rich writes,

My wife has taken the lid off the toilet seat. She thinks it's cleaner. I think it makes the bathroom smell more, and now I have nowhere to put my pajamas when I'm having a shower. It's a good beef. It's a good beef. It's a good stomach. It's a good beef. It's a strong beef. It's a strong beef, but please God let me be on Rich's side. I'm sorry to say Tom and Sarah you're on Rich's side. Holy! Round over. Ben and Josh you are on the side of the partner now are we able to give you a partner's name just to give us a bit of a bit of color Yeah, Melva Melva

All right, hey Wow All names are well-cooked Maybe a monster who's removed the toilet seat, but we respect her name, okay? Yeah, maybe monster wasn't it? Sorry I respect her name, okay? Yeah. It was a monster, wasn't it? Sorry I'm just hurt. Okay, so it's Melva and Rich here, okay? So you are on Melva's side, Ben and Josh. Now before all of that, let's have a cross, a cross examination.

Now remember, it's the toilet seat and not the name that is on trial here, okay? Take it off any questions. It's taking off the full seat. It's the lid of the seat. Just the lid. It's the lid, yeah. It's the legend, you do a story about a wife taking off the lid seat. It's the lid of the seat. Just the lid. She's the lid, yeah. She's the lady who did her story about a wife taking off the lid with her husband's help. Oh, god.

Lovely old-fashioned humour there. Really enjoyed it. About half a log. She goes really mainstream. And I'm just saying it to you. She goes really mainstream when she drinks. She kept it as she thrown the lid away. It's just by the side of the toilet. What?

Tantalising. Oh, well, well, well, please. Give me a touch. Are you a coward? I would make a good point. He's self-sufficient. Maybe she's testing you, yeah. Where are the screws?

It's one of those plastic ones with holes on, you know. He sounds so sad. Just such a sad... Oh, yeah. There's a post-lose solid steel toilet seat. You're all gonna sit in a... We're not present. That's what you shout shout where are the screws?

Watch out! You come up on the roof, throwing down the tiles, fuck you, warden! Are you brewing toilet wine? Any other questions for Rich? By the way, Mel was not here, is she? She's not here. Oh no, she's home. No, okay, she's at home, exactly.

We've probably taken the top of a kettle. So, let me take... What was the cause? When she says it was cleaner, was there cause for her to take it off? Were you sprained? We know what we did. Was there an incident? She just reckons you don't have to touch it if you take it off. Oh, I see.

Oh, right. Yeah, it's more to work with. I just assumed this was a seat being left up situation, but that's not going on. She's insane. That is conjecture at this stage, okay. Sorry, and I'm supposed to be on the other side. Walk them up to this. And she's done a history of other kind of, you know,

eccentric removals. What a question. Why is she going to issue eccentric removals? What a business that is removable, it's for you. We'll show up, we'll all be wearing bowler hats. Who'll carry the mountain health for better, Claude? I'm on a unicycle. Okay, great, you're a character, we get it.

So, what, as she made any other alterations to... Unusual alterations to the house? No, no, Matty. Accentric removal. I'm sorry. Answer the question. No, just the toilet seat. Just the toilet seat.

Any other questions now before we move on? I feel like. Where have you been putting you pajamas? Like on the sister now? On the sister. On the sister now? Where are they now, Richard? She's at half a lager and...

Anything goes. They're on the back of the the sister in a bit of the toilet now. Have you not got a hook on the back of your bathroom door? It's got loads of other stuff on it now. Tows. Tows. Tows. Dressing out or tea? Sure.

Toilet seat. Tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows,ows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows,ows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows, tows,. I must have been a hewler in there. Well, this... This strikes a chord with me because my wife doesn't like it when I put the toilet seat down because it creaks and disturbs the baby, so she's like, leave the seat up. Also, don't let the baby sleep in the toilet for starters. Hey! We've not got enough room. I know you had it watered a burp, but you could end it from there, you know? The popper pillow in the sink.

Excuse you, pajamas. So she, I wear them. So, so she's, she's firm on toilet seat up. So she might as well remove it. So it strikes a cool thing. You know you're on, here's side, right? I'm just working it all out. I'm not going to do the speech anyway.

He's playing three minutes. That's a good point. That's a really matter. Okay. So I hope that enough information for our teams to make their cases. So without further ado, you have one minute to begin the case for the prosecution. Sarah Keyworth, your minute begins. No.

I'm sorry, what side am I on? Okay, very useful. You're on Rich's side. You're on Rich's side. Okay, you're on Rich's side. We want the seat back. You want the seat back. Okay. Back or the lid back.

The lid on the lav. You minute begins now. I think this is a violation of privacy. Sometimes you just want to hide your little secrets in the toilet. It's not fair for it all to be on show. I thoroughly sympathise with the pyjama situation everybody. That is one of the best shelves in a household. Is the toilet seat, do you have a bath? I can't ask rich anymore questions. Sometimes I have a bath, put my laptop on

the toilet seat, watch a movie. People are nodding in the crowd. No one will say that. I'll do that tomorrow in the bath, and I'll call you. I've learned it. And you'll be on my laptop on the toilet seat, which will not be able to do. I think it's a complete atrocity. I think it's a violation of human rights. And where does it end?

Good point, very good point, Sarah Key with everyone. Where does this horrible situation end? Well, Josh, you can tell us your minutes begins now. Imagine having a name that every time it's mentioned in public, it caused gasps in really cool. Now to me that would cause me anger and distress. And then to then go home and find my husband who is an adult by the way, is wearing pajamas. That's about as much as I could take, okay?

And I don't want to bring it up with him directly. I don't want to offend him. He's always warped pajamas. It was never an issue at first, but with A's, and it hasn't really adapted the kind of pajamas he's wearing. I didn't want to bring it up, so I thought, you know, I'll just remove the shelf where he stores his pajamas and an attempt to dissuade him, but he's somewhere improvised

and moved them on top of the system, because there's no radiate is in the house for some reason. And I think it's perfectly justified to be quite honest. A Gromand out the shower still wet directly into pajamas, into bed with me, keep your hands off me, rich, in ain't happening to my brother. Wow. Wow. Too very, very compelling argument there. It's very, very argument against pajamas than in a few years. It's really hard to call it at the moment. Rich, how are you feeling? How do you think it's going so far? All right.

It's just English. Nothing, fair enough. It's a three-star review from me. It's not that bothered about the whole thing, fair enough. I just there in Sopping Wet Pajamas. It's just not been taking him off. I've lost a shower, isn't it? We didn't ask what the Pajamas are like.

Do you want to ask him now? Will it inform what you're about to do? No. No. Well, I was thinking exactly. We didn't ask him some crude information before I pretend to be a southern guy. To walk about a pig on a hill. It's actually... I've drawn a picture of a pig wearing a hat.

Of course you are. LAUGHTER I'll tell you what, I've got to ask you, it's just off my own back. What are the pajamas like? Would the prosecution please describe his gym gems? It's normally just a t-shirt and boxes. Oh!

OK. OK, we're off in now. Change is it. Change is things. Now Tom, are you going to, because it's your turn now? No, I'm going to... Are you going to make your case as yourself today? No, I'm going to be doing it in the style of a John Grisham deep-side defense lawyer.

Oh, yeah? By the name of Fan Shore Standin'. Fan Shore Standin'. CHEERING Presiding and providing. APPLAUSE Your minute should you need it against now. Ladies and gentlemen, after jury.

LAUGHTER It's good to see you back in the courtroom. All those virtual trials. Yeah you back in the courtroom. All those virtual trials. Yeah. Back in the flesh, I recognize some of you from the bakery there. You smell of the homemade bread. Round here we simple folk.

We ain't got no nonsense for them. They're big lawyers there from the city talking about no PJ Mars. Sounds like a French word to me. There's the city talking about no PJ Mars. Sounds like a French word to me. And we know what the French are doing. They talk into Putin. We ain't talking.

We ain't talking, I wear no. Launch first, talk later. All this talk around here now, there about that there. Removing it. Wait, can I just ask, where's the talk? You all know where the talk is. It's here, there, round there. I don't need to tell you.

Here in this story, here, man, heaven is. How did it fall? More times I like to remember actually, yeah. Oh, remember the story around here? You remember two years back now, the day a man came into town with a pig wearing a hat. LAUGHTER Hell, you went round the block. Well, past the bakery, two dollars, step up. She cans with a pig wearing a hat. Hell, get the photo taken.

Make a little drawing. Make a drawing. Three dollars to make a drawing. Go home some, get the extra dollar. Your father loves you, you're making a drawing. Big wearing a hat. What a day! So a photo is two dollars and the drawing's three dollars. Good drawings.

Round here, we simple folk. Etching. We're etches round here. None of your cameras, new, fend angled camera folk. Steels part of the soul. Y'all remember four months later, same guy came in the town with just a pig. This is a minute. He's still got 45 seconds left. with just a pig. This is a difference. The defence rest your arm.

Tricking to come back from that really isn't it? Tricking to come back from that? At the moment during that where my brain just went you really overthink comedy. You really worry about it too much. I'm so delighted you called that comedy. I don't think I did. So, Clarky, close to the case for the defence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a minute. You've got a minute if you need it. Your time starts.

Come on, Clarky. Clarky, my boy. Clarky, my lad. Your minute begins right now. Reattach at your coward. There we go, there it is, there it is. There it is, everybody, okay. Sorry, he's got more juice in the house.

Do you want more, I mean, I've got stuff on, I don't wanna say it. No, go on, do you? It's not better than a pig and a hat, that's a thing. Nothing's better than a pig and a hat, but the pig and a hat's got on trial. Now let's hear what you've got, you've got, you've got 20, you've got,

I've got 58 seconds left. 58 seconds left. Okay, well listen, which here's the thing, right? It's not, I've thought long and hard about this and it isn't about the toilet top. It's not about the lid of the toilet. It's a metaphor. Clearly we've spoken to you. You give us one word answers. You have to remove your lid. This is interesting. So I'll give it back. Open up. Let everything in. Be an open vessel. Ready for whatever? Melver's ready to throw it here.

Except it gratefully. And flush it down. Very strong word, that's lucky. Very strong work there, Clarke. You want to shit in his mouth. Ordinarily, I'd make decision myself, but I can't, because you're not going to believe it. My nompuses kicked in something. Something chronic halfway through. Sorry, nothing new you can't give me.

Kicked in something chronic, so I'm going to call upon our live Phoenix audience to make the decision for us. If you think Sarah and Fan Shaw and therefore Rich is in the right, would you please applaud now? Interesting. But if you think Josh and Ben made the best case applaud now Congratulations well done Well done that has to put that has to go to Ben and Josh

Rich how do you feel about the result? I'll take it He's a good lad. I like our rich, he's a good man. Right, as we head into the final round, it is vital not to lose momentum. We cannot take our foot. We cannot take our foot off the gas. Sadly we're going to. I'm going to apply my anti- Nompas powder to the affected areas and you are going to listen to the Flats and Institution that is The Quick Fire round jingle! This is the quick fire round.

It's the round that goes really quickly, which is why it's really quite amusing that it has a fresh job. It's got a long introduction. But the round is really short. And this time round, it's really quite exciting Because for the first time, we're back in the same room For the recording I'm fucking thrilled

Ben sat right next to me Which is why I can do this That's annoying Ben But I just wanted to prove the point That I am sat right next to Ben So I can help on the guitar I miss you I can also tap his face like that

I can't slap He looks genuinely cross Well anyway I'm going to round this up now So I can apologize to Ben It's time to enjoy the quick fire round The quick fire round Sorry

Beautiful Yes, this is the quick fire round and as our show is about ordering the cutlery draw I'm going to ask our players to put things in order fork knife spoon. So if I... Alright, chill out guys. So if I asked you to arrange pappies by height short as tall as you'd answer fork Matthew knife Ben and spoon Tommy does sound like a weird cut-re-based snog-marry kill but that's the game. Once again this round is for charity all bonus points will be going to suffer as of anxious, nompic pelvic disorder. So combo.

Stay strong people, we will find a cure. Instead of buzzers, I would like you to shout out your first names, Ben and Josh. Ben? Josh. Tom Cera. Tom. OK.

Now remember, fork, knife, spoon. Here we go. These cities, by population, largest first. Glasgow, Manchester Leeds, fork, knife, spoon. Here we go. These cities, by population, largest first. Glasgow, Manchester Leeds. Ben, fork. LAUGHTER It's early in the game for your head to go, Parry. Now remember, your name is Tom.

fork is how you play. Clarkey, off you go, remember. Fork, not, not, what night's been? Fork Manchester, knife, Glasgow, spoon, leads. Oh, I'm afraid that's incorrect. It's Manchester Leeds Glasgow. These letters alphabetically WKD. Sarah.

Sarah. Oh, no, I missed, hold on a second. Right. Fork D. a second. Right. 40. Knife. OK. Yeah, makes sense. Yeah, gone.

Last one, you can do this. I believe you can do this. Spoon. Poo-la! Yes! That was too many letters to play with. These, these Spice Girls songs chronologically. Oh! To become one, stop, wannabe.

Tom it. Tom. Fork wannabe. Knife. Stop. Spoon, to become one. Oh, I'm afraid it's incorrect. wannabe to become one stop.

These actors by height, smallest first. Tom Cruise. Daniel Radcliffe, Martin Freeman. They're all shorts! Clarke. Four cruise, knife, Radcliffe. He's guessing. Spoon.

The last one he said. Martin Freeman. Couldn't have been more wrong. Right, good Freeman Cruz. When these TV shows first aired, Big Brother UK, friends, pop idol. Tim Westwood. There. Okay.

I mean, you were first to it, but you shouted out the wrong name, and I'm going to give it to you anyway. You've got to do it as Tim Westwood obviously. I'm not going to fork shout it out. Hey, he shouted fork and he also shouted lights. So the reason he didn't get it. OK. You make a good point. So fork, friends, knife, pop idol, spoon, big brother.

Oh, it's friends, big brother UK pop idol. This might be the lowest scoring, eh? But it's good, no, it's good. This could be our former. Beer's could be our pointless. That's pointless. This could be our pointless score. This is probably gonna form out you guys.

Beer's by volume, Bex, Cronenberg, Budweiser. Josh. Josh. Fort Budweiser, knife, Be, spoon, Cronerburg. It's backspud, Crony. This is getting tough now. This is Tone. In WKZ, one of the strong ones.

LAUGHTER Inventions chronologically. Electric fridge, Biro, electric clothes washer. Tom. Tom. Tom. Fork. Fork.

Fork. Clothes washer. Knife. Byro, spin fridge. Oh, it's clothes water fridge byro. Number of times these teams have won the FA Cup in ascending order, Asdenville and Man City Chelsea. No?

In ascending order. Fake up. Tom, Tom. Fork. Villa. Knife. City. Spoon Chelsea.

Am I afraid it's Chelsea Villa City? Ah! Bloody hell! Right, here we go, events chronologically. The fall of the Berlin Wall. The building of the Berlin Wall. LAUGHTER Take my breath away by Berlin is released. LAUGHTER

Oh! Oh! You got it? That's a big question. It's a big question, isn't it? Building at the Berlin Wall, OK? Oh, he's confident, isn got it. That's a big question. It's a big question. For building at the early more, okay? Oh, he's confident. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well done mate. He's cocky. He's coming big, swinging. Knife, take my breath away, spoon. No. For all of the boring more. Is Garella! Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh So throwing a spork at the end if you must. James gone. You always finish on the der- der- der- der- der- der- der- Listen, they can- they can-

Can this be worth ten points? So that the game's it's thinking. I'll make it worth ten points. Yeah, I'm a gambling man. Why the fuck not? All four contestants on tonight's show, the number of people they are following on Twitter lowest to highest. Tom.

Tom's gonna play. They're following. They're following, not their followers, but they are following themselves. Oh, he came in confident with it. Yeah, he did. Well, we need to win this. Cocky. Lowest.

Well, you've got to... That's that way. We don't say lowest. Lowest is not how you play. It's lowest. It was starting with lowest. We start with lowest lowest but we say fork please oh I can say fork man we know you thought your name was fork

listen the team divide against itself cannot stand Sarah, okay? This is for ten big ones. One of the only things he can say. If fork was a Pokemon it would be good. Spoon, Keyworth, Spork, Pew. That's for 10 points. Can I guess say in the interval I did follow J from five? So you know, I just... They just might by one.

Tipped him over the edge. I unfollowed Rich. And Pappies. And my agent. As of 5pm last night, Tom, you were following a whopping 1716, making you the biggest number. Not the smallest number, Sarah, 783, Josh, 843, Ben, 1179 and Tom, 1716. I'm afraid you've lost the 10 points. I've been hacked.

Yeah. You're the only one following the porn bots, aren't you? That's it. Doing good stuff. They could, good content, actually, isn't it? That's a fork. So. So you lost the 10 points.

They go, obviously, all to us, they go over to the other team. No, no, no, they don't they don't the ten points of course go to our dear friends at the back stay struck oh Jesus Christ I'm following them no We lost them We lost them a long time That is the end of the show is the end of the round at the end of the games and before we find out the final scores Josh and Sarah Have you anything you'd like to plug? Fair enough! That's alright.

Follow Josh Pugh, he's very funny. Josh very funny online, very funny in the Twitter's. Is that weird by plug Josh? No, I tell you what, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're putting the pressure on Josh to plug you in. No, no, you can plug whatever you want. Follow, she, she won't follow you back, as we've seen, but...

Follow her. Follow her, so keep us. No. I can't believe we finished more awkward than we saw. Yeah, no. I'm, I'm a leave-o. Well, thank you to all of you for watching. As always, folks, check out our Patreon,.com forward slash Pappy's Flats.

Share this, lots of bonus stuff over there. If you're a fan of the podcast and want to give us a donation, it's a great way to do it. You get weekly bonus episodes, discounts on live shows, a shout out on the pod eventually, and more. Leave us a review on iTunes or tweet recommending the podcast to your friends. So, producer Gwynn, this is tense. What are the final scores? It's gone.

At the end, hey, listen, don't. It ain't over till it's over, apart from for you guys. So, producer, win. Let's hear those final scores. So it's very close. Obviously, lovely 20 and a half points to charity. So thank you, for your donations. Not enough to bring them back. Not enough to bring him back. Tom and Sarah ended with 26. But Ben and Josh are the winners of 28. Oh, so Tom and Sarah can go for themselves. Well, I was Ben and Josh getting a knife at passion with yours truly. If only my anxious pelvis holds out.

Well, he's winning in the wee small hours. Thanks to our guest, Sarah, Kiwa, and Josh Pugh. Wee-hipping, Papi's. See you next time on... Flash! Yes! Down! Papi's Flash, yes, now.

I'll be your Matthew Crosby, Ben Carcantone. Parry and special guest, Sarah Kewer, then Josh Pugh. Who's advised by Papi's and Ben Walker to accept the next bet, and by Emma Corsham, with help from Green Beach, and reduced by Emma Corsham. I mean, that's everyone at the Phoenix to all the wonderful folks you did today show.

Happy year on Policeman. Patience, pleasure, stand there as a secret dude, Roger Bay, cast on the internet. Cheers everyone, bye! Yay! Well, there you go, one absolute treat. What? A delight.

And if you enjoyed that episode and you'd like to hear more from Josh and from Sarah, then get over to our Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash Pappy's flat share, where there's going to be all of the bonus stuff that we recorded with them, plus some stuff that didn't make the main feed, but it's still a pretty good, exciting, spicy stuff in there, worth listening to. Patreon.com. Absolutely.

Forward slash Pappy's flat share. Yes, and you don't just get more of the show or I guess, you get a whole extra podcast that we put out every week. You get tons of extra content once you join the Patreon. So for just four pounds a month, you get a brand new extra podcast from the Pappy's Boys. Turning it out is what the critics say. That was going so well until the last bit.

That was very much at maccomanyfest.com, wasn't it? Right at the end, you fluffed it, but the rest of it was... Shhh, shhh, shhh, dog. Basically, you get a lot of bang for your book, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, it's like, I was patron. And not only that, you're also supporting the cause, the more support we

have, the longer we're going to be able to keep doing this. I thought you meant the band, the band the cause, because that's who gets all of our money for us. We're sitting on our money to Jim Corp. It's 9-11 truth at website, he's running. Someone's got to keep telling the truth, then it's Jim Corp. He speaks the truth that we don't dare. So he would be very love. No, you're supporting the cause of Pappy's podcasting, a very, very valiant cause. I think you're all agree.

Well, I'm going to move things on. Listen, if you'd like to leave us a review or rate us or like or subscribe or any of those things, they all help people find this podcast. But most of all, in 2022, please recommend this podcast to your friends. I think there's a run of really fun, flat-sheast, damned, outtapping at the moment,

and we'd love more listeners to hear them. So recommend the podcast to your friends, and like and subscribe wherever you do, those sort of things. And once you've done that, recommend the cause. They'll leave you breathless. Anyway, today's podcast was produced by Emma Corsian. Corsian Jeeps.

Cheers everyone. Bye. Ladies and gentlemen, please be understanding for today's Patreon neighborhood what roll call Bad news everybody she's a skate and she's on the loose Jeffrey out house and dark house for clear booth bad news everyone he's escaped and he's hiding somewhere in the dark. Here at Search every Burger King and McDonald's for Mark. Bad news everyone. He's escaped lately. Search all of the houses for Sky 80 Always fascinated to see what claustic things rhymes. Oh Come off it's time. Sorry Tom. You started with on the loose and Claire Booth

Strong Tom I won't have it. I won't have claustic be smirched in this way And I certainly won't have it. When we were talking about my dear friend, JJ. So we haven't got any time for this because bad news, everybody. Someone's escaped. Oh no, disguised as a madam. Search every street you can think of for Adam. Someone's escape lately It's Joe Gerrity. He's not called Joe Gerrity. Come on Clarky. I don't know. I don't know what what what surely guarantee Gerrity We just get lately. I tell you what someone's escape lately. It's Charlie tea I tell you what someone else's escape lately. It's Tom Begley You are someone else's escape lately. It's Tom Beggley Someone else you guys has escaped lately. It's Archie Hollyfield. He's a scape lately Someone else has escaped and they're on the loose. It's Chris Arasmith

Someone's escaped lately, but I'm not gonna go around telling because I've taken a vow of silence It's Jack Belly. Oh he's broken his balance for you Jack. Oh What's up? And they've done it finally. Well of course, it's Tom Wiley. Okay, really good at talking. I'm actually asked if we'll let these, probably we'll have to let that go. He's done it finally, they. I think they've done it, listen, somebody just gaped and they've done it finally

whether you like that or not, and that person is Faris Scott. Someone's escaped finally and lately, not finally and lately, but they followed their escape plan and I'm very proud to tell you that it was Hamish Alain. Hamish Alain, as he's known. Hamish Alain and Reckonbatture. Someone's escape finally and lately, and then they've gone and played a game of football at Old Trafford. Well done Andrew Stafford.

Well done, Andrew Stafford. But I think that's what they say. I think that's the best way to lay low. You're high in plain sight, that's what they say. Well, fingers crossed to scores and go! That concludes today's patient neighborhood watch Roll Go! Ooh!