Pappy's Flatshare - Slamdown w/ Tom Davis & Esther Manito (Hang the Washing) S13E26

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Neither “Tom!” nor “Ben!” want to hang the washing… so Matthew says we’re gonna have to have a flatshare slamdown!Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry Wicks recorded live at The Phoenix pub with Esther Manito and Tom DavisWithTom Davis - https://bigtomdavis.com/Esther Manito - https://www.esthermanito.co.uk/Pappy’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/pappystweetPappy's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/pappyscomedy/Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/pappysflatshareFind tickets to all our live shows here - pappyscomedy.com/liveEdited by Emma Corsham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I am Matthew and welcome to another exciting episode of Pappy's Flatchus. Landown! Woohoo! Woohoo indeed. A real doozy of a podcast this one. Yeah, yeah, this was a good, this was a fun episode. Two superb guests. Two I would say, very front foot, very aggressive guests. They are two wonderful guests. We've got Estim and Eto and Tom Davis. Again, both currently I think on tour, so do go and see them if you get a chance, both brilliant. Essex is fine.

It's both from Essex. Am I right in saying that? I think that's right actually. Yeah. It was an Essex. It was It's both from Essex. Is that my right and saying that? I think that's right actually. Yeah. Yeah. It was an Essex. It was an It was a it was a Tauy special and it was yeah, it was it was very very good fun We had it we had a good time. They bullied me which is always Always a pleasure like when I lose control of the show that was supposed to be hosting But yeah, anyway, enjoy that

Just very very quickly before we play the episode, a couple of things. All right. Firstly, a new advance in the hotline. Now, you can... What? Yes, a new advance in the hotline, in that you can text the hotline,

or you can leave a WhatsApp voice notes to the hotline. You've got to do it all through WhatsApp. It's got to be through WhatsApp. But that... You can text the hotline or you can leave a WhatsApp voice note to the hotline. You've got to do it all through WhatsApp, it's got to be through WhatsApp. But that... You can text a hotline. You can text a hotline. That's right. And so the number is... God, does it read out in computer voice then? That's a really good point. I don't know. We'd have to ask caution. Corsham, does it read out in computer voice? No, it's just your own voices.

Even better. It reads out in your own voice. So when it's when you say the text, No, you read out. What do you mean I read out? I don't understand. It's just words. It's just a text. It's just a text.

Okay, right, so if you receive it, if we receive it as a text, we'll then read it out. That's the idea. Right, I get it. Wow, that's blown my fucking mind, man. It's good, man. Well out. That's the idea. Right, I get it. I get it. Wow, I get it. That's blown my fucking mind man. It's good though. You've got a future. You've got to admit it. In fact, we got off our first hotline WhatsApp message, which we'll read out after this episode, but don't forget the number of our own voices. Yes. This is blowing our mind. Tom, I tell you what, let me get that number out then and then we can really lean, we can

really lean into your incredulity after this, but it's 020812332722081233272. And again, if you'd like to send us a jingle for that, we'd love it. PapisflatShare at gmail.com, get in touch and send your beefs our way. As always, the Patreon continues to pace. It's really kicking off. Should we read out a message that we got from Chris? Oh, we'd love to. We'd love to.

Now, this is a Chris who's a recent Patreon. He said, for a few years, I was listening to the free feed then all of Bangas and Mash, saying to myself every time you mentioned the Patreon that I join as soon as I got a job When I ran out of back episodes I decided to join and just go without something else and the week afterwards I got a job Yeah, another thing to blow your mind. I like to imagine'd said it to myself so much that the universe couldn't exist With me having joined without also having a job It's definitely definitely worth it. Thanks the Patreon not the shit job

Which is also worth it probably mostly cheers everyone by Chris well Chris Congratulations on the double whammy of a brand new job and Obviously joining the Patreon as well patreon.com falls-papy's flat share You know what? If you feel like you just need a bit of a shake up in your life, join the Patreon and see what the universe gives you. I feel like Noel Edmunds. You want a bit like Noel Edmunds? I just bought a helicopter and file for bankruptcy. So, I dance by. You're living in the remains of Blobbyland, aren't you? So, you're always...

How dare you! You look very spelled. Right, so, yeah, so join us on the Patreon if you get a chance at patreon.com before slashpappysfaxher. Absolutely right. Well, let's get into this episode then and enjoy ourselves. Tom! What is it, Matthew? what is it? Your cheeky jab? What cheeky jab?

I'm a cheeky little fellow. Listen, I've got great news for everybody here. Oh yeah? I have just bought the latest receptacle for our laundry fasteners. What? That's right. Papi's got a brand new peg bag! Oh! Back! Oh. What was this?

Anyway, what did you do? It's going to be a lot of fucking fun. You're a very bouncy little man. I'm a cheeky bouncy little fellow. I might just take you to trampoline away. I think we finally found what our audience had done. I look for this talking, we should just do DJ's. You could do that for a lovely bit of feedback there.

I could see it, usually with Wayne Inica. Do you think so? I would be, yeah, Ocean Beach could be the future of you. I'm going to, I be in the next month. I would genuinely go with you if I would pay for everyone in this room because of what you did, Jay. With that track on Luke, with that. LAUGHTER

Just going up to groups of girls. LAUGHTER What, they just push him away. LAUGHTER Only person there was socks initially, though. Ah. I've got some new holiday socks actually told. They're very nice.

Right, so one of YouTube is going to use those pegs to hang the washing on the line. Ah, I need a... I need a fresh speedo for the neighborhood watch pool party, which I'm sure they'll invite me to any day soon. Yes. It's not going to be day soon. Yes. No. It's not going to be me, Crossman.

No? No, not at all. I'm with Ben even. That's time you told me to do my pegging outside, don't you? Don't get in a letter from the couch. But we made a pretty penny on only fans, you know? But we've been around about it. We shouldn't have done by a swing around about it, really. I think about it. Tom, what about you? Well Matthew, it's not gonna be me. No.

Can I just preface this by saying, I'm not 100% behind this one. LAUGHTER I tell you what, Tom, whatever happens, whatever the punchline is, we'll play Pegpag at the end of it. So don't you worry about it. Great.

It's not gonna be me, because the last time I was hanging out in my laundry, I overheard an old Italian lady, a old Italian lady giving advice to an ex-biker, Grov actress who turned into a TV presenter and model, and also a famous spoonbender. She said, Donna Eir, your little dirty laundry in public. Hit ex! Hit ex! Yourty Dirty Laundry in public. It is! It is!

It is! Bonnet Air! Yourty Dirty Laundry in public. Oceans Beach, 2023, Oceans Beach, Bikes of fucking life! Well, there's any moment to settle this we have to have a And welcome to flat chess land down the panel show says, I am the lineman for the county and I drive the main road

searching in the sun for another washing load. I hear you singing in the wire. I can hear you through the wind. Now please hang the washing up on the line. The dirty socks at the back of my closet is Tom Parian, Benedict Clark. I so dearly wish the listeners at home could see the faces of our guests You're enduring all of that. I'm not gonna lie. It's one of our more incomprehensible intros I say. I think, er, I think I've got something about Wayne Linnaker just coming up to you and going, just play fucking songs with me. Stick to the fucking DJ mate, no singing, right? Absolutely ruined this crowd.

Now, Tom and Ben, you can't hang the washing on your own. Who have you brought with you to hold the line? Line, love isn't always on time. Ben, I bought my... Laudileid, it's the Manita! Estamanito is here! Estor! Yes. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Esther.

Thanks for having me. It's a total pleasure. It really is. Now, what kind of a person Esther are you to live with? A fucking delight. LAUGHTER It's what I am. Talk us through that.

Why are you such a delightful person to live with? I don't think I'm all right to live with. Quite shouty. Bit of a shouty person. You're obviously a parent. Oh, right, yeah. LAUGHTER Obviously.

Obviously. LAUGHTER Or a word chat of line-ever. LAUGHTER Well, look at that work out, you bitch. Are you the little fella who was DJing? Yes, you're obviously a parent. LAUGHTER

I kind of kind of cocktails, I'm very much. I'll see you in the crash. But yeah, what kind of a parent are you? What's your what's your parent's in style, would you say? Just shouty, really. Shouty, yeah, shouty. Does it work? Is it a kid's to the kid's shout back to the givers because they get

Don't know really It's just me shouting. I don't really wait for a response Oh, that's it. Yeah, if you've got gears of shouting because what I've realized as parents once you go Hard there's nowhere else to go Well, yeah There's nowhere else to go. Off the hook. What? Show it. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm in the eye. What are you starting up there in the kids' life? What's your smash the window? Yeah.

So, yeah, I feel like I started that. If you started it. Yeah, they don't eat, they didn't. I swear, I just smashed the window. Right, yeah. That's you. Are you giving your door to the proper hairdryer treatment? No, here is that what you're going for.

It's just when you realise you've gone too hard too early and then the only way to do is go down and hope that works. I was like, don't do that! Do not do that! Oh right! You go down. I'm a 44-year-old man from South London and I'm terrified. Yeah. I just do the Mediterranean when we're out in public and that just means a little fucking white. The little hand gesture. Yeah, when they're pranking about in public. Like a kind of like a mafia type thing. You're going to have a you know you're going to have one of your favourite toys pets you met. Yeah, you're just going to wake up to a hobby horse in your bed.

My little pony to captain. Thank you for coming on the show, Esther. Tom, who have you brought with you this week? Well, Matthew Terrible news, the Jamborees in danger. Oh, no. Oh, no. Our ball is stuck on the roof. I thought, who's my no? Who can get a ball off a roof with its scaffolding expertise and height? I caught from Mr Big Tom Davis

Now Tom you're obviously a parent You have to strode this club up, man. That will put the dice there. LAUGHTER Genuinely, I'd be fascinated to know what it would be like. If you just, if you went to a big super club like Pasha, and you just played Pigbag. Yeah.

How long do you think you could have piled up right by starting to? I would genuinely think that would be a genius idea. I would love to see a TV show where you are going to someone of the biggest cups in the world. And it was a worst DJ set ever. See how long... can hold this audience dancing for. I love you back on repeat. I love you like the idea that it's so it's way ninnikas sitting there. I remember it back to the future where it gives him like I don't know what this is but it's fucking blown my mind. Who the fuck is

this guy that's Matt Crosby. He's calling Gary Linnik here and going yeah listen to this. Gary listen to this. Now you might not this yet, but your dad's going to love it. LAUGHTER You're dead! With him just bouncing on the crowd to part. Oh, you... Silly. That's not a bad thing, because obviously there's people

who do the stage diving and the crowd surfing But no one is chosen to bounce on the heads of the audience Oh no, I don't mean that I think I could do that Anyway stick around now, Leo Yeah, exactly Yeah, stick around off the show for a bit of fun But first we've got to do the unfun bit of the show

We've met our guests, let's find out who'll be hung out to dry as we play round one No We've met our guest. Let's find out who'll be hung out to the drives we play round one. No! Oh! The damn clothes are dry in my house. My house. I'm closer dryin' in my house, in my house They pegged upon ropes, kid They pegged upon ropes Got wet pants and trousers in my house, in my house They pegged upon ropes, kid Inside out on Robes

Got 15 where pairs of pants in my house And all my trousers, well they're soaking wet too Yeah damn clothes, I'm not gonna lie You look absolutely what the fuck is going on. I got a hangover. I love the idea you're sitting at the kids yet. That was too much acid. Because I pissed myself through.

Because I pissed myself through. Yeah. Because I pissed myself. Yeah. I pissed myself. I really got to stop pissing myself I really can't stop pissing myself I never want to stop pissing myself I never want to stop pissing myself I'm pissing myself For right now Oh yes please

I'm pissing myself I never want to stop pissing myself I'm pissing myself I'm pissing myself For right now For right now! Oh! Oh, yes, please!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh my god. Fanging that out, Ocean Beach. I love it. I love it. I'm now already, man. The first round is called Wushing Machine. I'm going to give each player the name of a famous movie you have to get your teammate to guess the title using only noises

No full words No theme tunes just noises you can use up to five different sounds if you can convey in one sound you get five points Two sounds four points and down from there. I will also deduct points for every full word Every song or every overly helpful gesture. Okay, Tom, there is your film title and for the audience here, for this or at home, but not for any of our contestants, here is what Tom is attempting to convey with sounds. Top gun.

Okay, Tom D, can you work out the title of this classic? Only assisted by Perry and his pipes. Tom, we have first noise please, five points. I'll take this off your hat for this. Hat's off. Take this seriously. Yeah. You five points. I'll take this seriously. I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time,

I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time,

I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known you a long time, I've known, what, Tom, Tom? That's your noise, you can do it again if you like. Ah! Oh, it's different again. No! Okay, we all remember Henry's cat. Oh, God. So I'm going to say, Dazer Thunder.

It's not Dazer Thunder. Okay. Okay. This is for four points, your second sound. Ssh! Top gun. Yes! Only no Tom Cruise really.

Yeah, exactly. I went for the wrong fast noise for that. You know what though? That was a mate that was brilliant. You got four points for that, fantastic. That was really, really, really well played, both Tom's there. Okay, we're over to Esther now. Esther, there's your film. How you feeling, Esther?

I still fully don't understand what's going on. I can tell you now that won't change. All right. So for our audience at home, yeah, and people here today, here's what Esther will be trying to get bent to guess using only noises and no movements. No movements, no, here we go.

Jurassic Park. Hang on a sec, we just let, how can we steal? Already, you're fucking gonna know each other! Do you know what? Knock off two points for that. Hey, that's no. Oh, from them, yes sir.

Here you go, yeah. Oh, from them, yes sir. Here you go. Chill out, alright? Okay. Chill out. Let, listen. Let, let a woman speak for a second. Before you ask me, you're still alright?

So, on the other way, this is how you tell her for child. Yeah. Chill out. Okay. Oh. Did you say what it was? No. Okay, it's good. It's strong. It's strong. We're better with an action, though. There was a bit of an action. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. No, you can't do that sound without a movie. I don't, clarky, clarky, very Matthew.

Can you stop mansplaining to the woman? And I've had two kids, I've just pissed myself a little bit. Woo-hoo! So, so clarky did look away, he did look away, I don't think you saw the action. You'll get your chance to steal, right? When Clarky never to be can't work out, it's really easy. It's clearly clear. Please get it, because I've got nothing else in my armour. Can I hear that again, please?

You can hear the noise again. This is for five points. Okay. But I'm going to move. Is that all right? You can move. Sure, yeah, yeah. No! It's good stuff there. Clarke, any ideas? A few good men. A few good men and a woman on the team, all right?

LAUGHTER Love actually. Yeah. He's trying to recreate it. You do, you know what, I did sound a lot like... It sounds like Guns and Roses. Actually, look, last time, really, you really did it, yeah? LAUGHTER

Yeah. LAUGHTER You cared be my name. LAUGHTER That's a better than got to the last minute. Let's jump on the drums. Mr Tom, cruise! It's the film, welcome to the jungle! It's not welcome to the jungle, no, that's a song. Rayman, so I saw a film.

How about, is it? It's not, it's not a home alone, is it? It's not, it's not home alone, is it? It's not home alone, no. It's not home alone. No one saw that coming. No one. Screaming. Oh, I see, slapping yourself with the after shave

and screaming like that. Are you sure? No, no. Just run with you. Okay, let's have another sound from Esther Minito, please. with the aftershave and screaming like that. Are you sure that sound? No, no. Let's have another sound from Esther Minito, please. This is for four points here. Oh, yeah. Do you know what?

Oh, no, no. This is an expert round, Resta. And it is actually textbook-larking. And you love to see it. Hang on, he always loses. Well, he doesn't do great. Always loses is a bit unfair, but I would say 75%. So the massive ease that you could beat the shits out of you, you put on the winnings. But I would say 75

Listen if it's any consolation I think pretty much everyone on on both teams could beat the shit I'm a cheeky little bouncing little boy, all right Do you need it one more time? Oh, yes want it. Yes, please, I love it actually. Okay, you can put them together if you like. Do you want to do both noises? Oh, okay. Alright, okay, so in this comment. You're allowed to do it, yeah, yeah.

Oh, fair enough. You're still on the rules. You didn't need it. You got it by this point. Okay. Yeah! Eyes wide shut You'll get your chance to steal Tom

Okay, that is literally the sound of when I have sex Clarke any ideas Before we go You know it you know it mate you know it you know it You know it no it no Clarke you guys Everyone knows it they cheated You see their mates it was in the cinema

No but they fucking all had a whole insane hell that It's really obvious from my amazing clothes I've got to say, by the way. Esther's recreation of these sounds is amazing. It's flawless, it's actually flawless. I've got a save, I think. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.

Woo! Um, a third noise walk. Oh, I can't believe it. Fuck it. A third noise. We're going to hear a third noise now. Wait, wait, I have an Emma second. I have an Emma second guess.

Oh, what? What if I can do it then, man? It's 25 to 9. Go on, now what's your guess, Nuglocky? It's a cat. I wish your cat is the size of a fucking rhino that I have. It could be the Lion King. It could be Lion King, Could be Garfield too.

Oh. Godzilla. Oh, it's not Godzilla. A third noise, please, Remester. And this is for, I believe, is it three points here? I don't know. I don't understand anything. I don't know.

You want to find a lot more than Clarkie does. All right, fun. Third noise. Third noise. Third noise. You could run up to the table. I tell you you want to find a lot more than Clarky does all right fine third noise third noise third noise You could run up okay, all right okay I mean this is so good But it's definitely a lion or a big cat She knows what time. Jurassic Park.

Three points. The clockiness. I do, I do anything. I could have gone to the Wichon wardrobe. Mrs Dowell for it. Good do, I do anything. I could as well under which in the wardrobe. Mrs. Dowell for it. Good film, man. Good film. Three points there. Three points. You know what? I'm going to give it a bonus point to Esther because that was absolutely phenomenal. The nominal worth there, noise rise. So can you deduct a point from Ben for the guessing?

Yes. Okay. Tom D, it's your turn. And everybody's information but not our panlists, here is the title of the film that Tom will be grunting, squawking and generally catterwalling to convey to Tom Perry. Here we go. Back to the future. That's a really hard one, isn't it? I hope it's something with very high pitch time. Oh my God, this is so hard. So, tricky one, this one.

It's probably the hardest one so far. You know what, you can do it. I believe in you, man. I believe in you, mate. Oh, I feel really bad now. Yeah, you believe it. There's no one in the front. No, it's going to be just...

Everything else has just been a surprise. So, take your hat off. Yeah, that's good too. Who's going to trend it to Paul Men's? Who's on the in two-ball men's? LAUGHTER Who's on the in-sell that we should be in? LAUGHTER

Well, you're into that, I mean, Tom Parridge, you think I'd go down the pub and just do the noise thing that we do. LAUGHTER Talk about Tom Cruise. Two points of best, please. LAUGHTER With the white t-shirts as well, there is an element of right-side Fred as well. Right-wing Fred. Right-wing Fred.

Oh man, it's so difficult. I love this movie. I literally can't... This is by fire at the heart. I can't do this. You can do it, man. Come on, you can do it. Give yourself your first noise, it's for five points. You've got five noises to make. My first guest is gonna be Top Gun 2's in that one. Don't say that. Oh. It's good.

It's a good start. Yeah. Can I have it again, please? It's the world's skinniest horse doing dress-up. We're a dainty close. I don't want to burn my feet on this hand. The new pair of shoes, Matt Crosby's, C-Tan, at home. It's Matt Crosby's horse.

I'd watch that film. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't Before we write that horse. Rod Apple check, Rod! From the makers of Free Willie. Okay. We've all had a very nice time now, can we? Can we return to the game and play? I play Jockey. Keep it back. Frankie Ditori is just stunt double.

Right, Harry, any idea? What sound that means? What is it, a horse? Or was it a clock? I can't tell you that. Is it a clock? I'm looking out, I'm telling you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to your point for asking a question

back to the future I You fucking kidding me I Eventually I to reenact the entire fucking film and these Hey And these... More! I mean... Hey! Hey, come on! Let's... Let's do it!

Let's all try and get along, yeah? I have the way they will tell me! They will tell me! Oh, no, we're not having that. Everybody said I was just smarter right now, horse. This summer... I don't want to write a horse anymore. I just want to be a tiny DJ.

Wait a minute, Kurt, Dean Gaffney. Ben, you're up next. Tom Davis is Tom Barry. Why are we getting bullied at our own show? Today, if you remember, I mean Tom on. It feels good. It's like having mates. It's possible, right? This is me. Would it like to grow up next? Ben, there's your film and for you, Lister Deer and for the audience here today, here's the celluloid masterpiece that Clarky must illustrate with tone alone. For God's sake.

Okay, here we go, here we go. Clarky, for five points at Esther, you're guessing the film, for five points, Clarky, the first noise please. No! Get out! Get out! Come out, he's got a clock! No! No! Okay, any ideas? What that could be?

What that could be? Everyone's got a horse in it. Every Western ever. That was a little genre that I love. The old westerns. Oh. Oh. Thomas makes a noise.

Any idea from that first noise? See, this guy. Any idea of that first noise? Best beauty? It's not black beauty. Well, I'm out of horse films. Let's have another noise, please, for four points, Clarkie, your second noise, if you would.

Eugh! LAUGHTER That's good. Good. It's good. LAUGHTER Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! It's the film about a young horse and an old horse. Big horse, little horse, isn't it? Welcome to our campfire. Is it broke back mountain? Oh! It's not broke back mountain. No, because they were horsemen. They certainly were. No, no, it was a fantastic guess, but it's not correct. A third noise for three points, please Can I do can I do the first two again? Just you know you could do it. Yeah, you could do it as a run-up Performance of guessing of course also, but away. I'm writing a film about horses and I'll need someone to do a lot of the horse

A bit of holy work. You could be around the circus Lucas. Yes, Joe. It's very good from Clark. A very strong work. Oh, it's the Godfather. It's the Godfather. It's the Godfather. I've never turned away.

Three points. Three points. Can we talk about this? He talked about one. The thing he did with his fingers. I've never turned away. Three points. Three points. Can we talk about this? He just got one. The thing he did with the fingers. Implicates that. I mean, you're not going to...

I was turning it back. Well, we all could have done a lot of stuff. Yeah, but you both used actions. He did this. Eee. And he did this. Broll. You're all really winning. Yeah. No, we won't.

Thank you. Thank you, mate. Oh, we've got about 40 points. I'm taking it for serving. Yes, absolutely. Thank you, mate. Yeah. I...

You! Ha ha ha ha. You're really neat, you know? That's two noises, don't you? Ha ha ha. Three more noises to make, can you get your... Pfft. Yeah. So, yeah, no, I accept, Three more noises to make, can you get your... Pfft! Yeah.

So, yeah, no, I accept, Tom, I will accept that they did a finger, but you've just been touched terrible sportsmen. I'm going to let him have the point, I think. That's three points there. So, at the end of that round, producer Emma, using the noises of words, what are the scores, please? Well, Ben and Esther have seven. Seven points. And Tom and Tom have six. Oh so Ben and Esther I bet. So Ben.

With moral champion. Yeah we should have Ben. No I haven't but. Yeah yeah you did that very moral thing of asking the audience was at a clock and then say yes Ask if you could steal before you'd heard the first noise Yes, it all fairness to Tom though. Not people shut side chatting about horses. Someone said it was a small horse Thank you. Yeah, so I'm not yeah, I'm not just doing this because we're partners I've got a lot of work God is not playing a couple of mil-wall fans. Really? Why?

Keeping it that crying, the war. We fought in a lie, we had to fight in a lie. Anyway, it's got a lot more intense than I am. Yes. I feel like now is a great time to take a break. I don't know why, something in the atmosphere, just a little bit more argy barge than I'm used to. So I'm going to go moot around John Lewis for ten minutes,

just to be with my people, and I will be back in part two. See you in a mix! Welcome back to Flaxche Slam now! Now before the break, Ben and Esther are in the lead, although I did have a little trap with Tom and Tom and apparently they're actually... They're in the lead, no, no, no, no, no, the scores haven't moved and neither has the pile of sodden washing waiting to be hung on the boats. Look at the boats. Look at the glutes of steel.

I'm really even working on them, actually. Anyway, that was the first dance that you were wearing. Yeah, did it on my own Well, with a tiny horse His wife was just in a nuba I'm chasing after her, get back, click, click, click, click Listen, anyway, I do need some dry, I do need some dry speedos It's the only thing standing the way of me being the life and soul of the neighborhood watch pool party.

That and my current lack of invitation. In fact, someone texts my number and check the WhatsApp's are coming through, okay? And while we do that, let's play round two. It's flat games! Let's wait forever Roll the dice spin nothing Put that down Two of your tools Games if you lose you can't not fit Games if you win you can't go Go, go, go

Next we go Listen to that E4 Can you hear that, Ellie James? No, no How about UKTV Gold? Yes! This week on Flat Games, we're playing our version of Tele-Adix, which we're calling Tele-Adix Anonymous.

Hopefully, that's not an insensitive title, apologies to any poor unfortunate souls who were actually addicted to the boob tube. I'm going to ask... You've got to be careful in 2023. I'm gonna ask each player to sing a famous TV show to the theme tune of another TV show. Their teammate has to guess what show they're singing about and the tune they're singing it to.

You got it. I love it. It's a tricky one. It's good. One point to the teammate for correctly guessing the TV show. Another for I didn't find the theme tune, but up to the teammate for correctly getting the TV show. Another for I did find the theme tune but up to 10 points for performance. Tom Perry can you steal?

You steal. Frustral question can you steal? Yeah you steal, yes. Of course you can always steal the hearts of our podcast listeners. Here we go. Tom you're up first. There is the TV theme and the show you're singing about. Tom D name those those shows. As always, we've got two shows. The song he's singing about and the theme tune he's singing it to. So it's two shows. As always, we have DJ Gwagelbox on the decks.

Gwyn, are you there, mate? Yes, mate. Hit it! This is the show about things that are upstairs. I can't game the throne, just let that go. What's that behind that little box? Oh, what is it behind that box? I think it might be worth some money.

I think it might be. I might take it downstairs and stand it somewhere I don't know if that's what happens in the show but I think it might what's behind it. I know you want to get the throne for some friends, don't you? He's gave a thrones you're right now, yeah. He's here for some money, is it? Oh, it's up to Dillonau Dillonau written down. I've got no idea what he's saying. Hold on, hold on, wait a minute. OK. So this isn't actually...

He made the song up. No, no, he's... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I'm... OK, all right. And they paid someone to write it. Let's just stop a second while we explain what's happening here.

I know the track. So the track is Game of Thrones. The track is Game of Thrones. But Tom was singing about, he wasn't singing the words, he was singing about that TV show, a different TV show, right? That's what he was singing about. You've really got it from him. Listen, I feel like I explained it fine.

I think I did it fine. I think Tom, I'll tell you one thing though, Tom actually weirdly, I said I've gone for quite sort of sing along the ball theme tunes. And Tom actually, you texted me to ask for Game of Thrones. Yeah. I would have assumed you'd have heard the Game of Thrones theme tunes.

But you know what, it was a gorgeous performance. I'm ashamed you'd have heard the game of throw team treatments. But you know what, it was a gorgeous performance. It was actually, I genuinely was for a second just lost in your voice. But yeah, it was big issue. I was just turned into a musical, I'd go and watch it. But I have no idea what it was or what it was. So it was, it's somewhere upstairs by a little bump. I'm in fine, man. Could we steal?

I like the way as well you look like you were slowly riding a horse. LAUGHTER Um, one of the things is I'm terrified about the next, my round, because I've got no with it at all. Oh, well don't worry about it, you've heard Tom, it's fine. It's not like you set the bar particularly high. It's a little high, mate. Okay, so we've got...we will... We'll give you a chance to steal.

Anyone got any idea from this team? Clarke? Esther. Yeah, I think... Cash in the... Cash in the atty? It's Cash in the atty of course! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING So that is... That's a pointer, Tom Davis, a pointer, Ben Clarke.

But, of course, the crew should... Ten points up for grabs for performance. We got already seven. Hang on, it's old time, it's not an auction. I'm going to decide, and I think I'm going to give you a six out of ten there. Six points out of ten. I'm sure it's worth more. I've put that absolutely as quite as...

There was a cash in the attic user card, certainly one of those. Okay, Esther, you are up next. Here's your TV theme and the show you're singing about. Ben, all you've got to do... I don't, I've got my... It's always a good start. Ben, yes. Okay.

Which TV... Which two TV theme tunes? Which, sorry, which two TV shows? This is where you're fucked up. This is where you're fucked up. You say what two TV theme tunes? No, no, no. You should say what show and theme tune is this? Okay, all right.

Say that now, here we go. LAUGHTER Ben. Sit to the fucking DJ, Impel. LAUGHTER But Ben! LAUGHTER But Ben! But Ben, what TV show? Yeah, I got it.

Is Esther singing about? Badly. She's not singing the words to the theme. I'm going to tell you that now. What? It's something she'll have made up. Right, okay. And to what theme tune is she singing it?

Yeah. Okay. Okay, I've not seen it. Do you understand this? I've not seen it. I've not seen it. Okay, good. Okay. Here we go. DJ Quinn in your own time, please. It's about a family I think and they're all by trying to get power from the old man what died Power from the old man what died and now they're all bickering And stuff and they're all in seats sometimes And that's the extent of my knowledge and it's really, really popular now.

Beautiful. Beautiful. There we go. You know what? It's my favourite moment when everyone in the room knows it apart from Clark. Yes. Do you know what? I would say a wonderful, a wonderful rendition for Mester there, but I can't help but think it was Tom helping with the intro that made that such a wonderful round. I think that's what it was. It was Tom giving me the- You're the wind beneath my wings there, Tom.

You look like a old angel. A bonus point to you. Wow! Oh, what? Clarkey, any idea of either the TV show or the TV theme tune? Okay, it's A-Standards. It's A-Standards is the theme tune, is correct. Yes, that's one point. Come on, you can do this.

They all wear suits sometimes. Oh, I thought you said it was going on here. That's right, you turn around and go, that I'm catching your eggs sometimes. I'm so tired of the crap. Fuck here now. He's probably repeating the same thing. I'm just, I'm literally repeating the lyrics, all right?

No, you, but you can. I thought she said it. They were from Simpson times. Yeah, as long as you think you heard my life sentence. It games the throes. I was, I love you in the eye. So did he say so in about Kahn upstairs into the attic? And you went, I can't see.

Right. Let the record show you never fucking set back. Did he say so in about going upstairs to the attic? No, you didn't, you lie and bars did. Right there. Right there. Well, I tell you, truth will be told on the podcast, I will be texting you.

Yeah. And if it's his edited, it will be it. It's got to be edited. Mark, me as it got to be edited. I can see you know, you'll be like Trump, just sitting there, just going cut that bill Yeah What?

Start up on his horse What? Little Vlad What? Everyone is, we're going to deflate this whole thing with your AI to reinterpret the entire podcast Okay, any idea what the TV show was? I think that it's succession

It is succession, congratulations. Oh, that's right. Ben, did you know it was succession before you got the clue about the suits? I sang about the suits. You all about the Simpsons one of the two. Oh my god, do you know what this is going to be? It's just one point, right?

You got a bonus point. I was really nice to your second ago Just relax man have fun with it You're bringing a very you're bringing a very argy bargy energy, right? I know part of that is your personality That's the second time you said argy bargy You just sit next to him you've said argy-bargy, you know what's that? Because that's what I've been up on. Listen, you just sit next to him. It's fucking argy, it's margy. LAUGHTER Anyway, I've got to give you a point to performance,

and it was a fantastic performance. I've got to say, I'm going to give you 8.5 out of 10. Oh, everybody. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE OK. Thank you. Here we go. I'm excited about this. How many of you this. Here we go. Now Tom Davis, the rules of the game are.

On that bit of paper. On the blurb for it now. Yeah, on that bit of paper, two TV shows. One's the theme tune you're singing to. One's the show you're singing about. Okay, have a little read. Got it? You got, okay. How in chooses this native page? Well, you've heard everybody else. Oh, well, let me just say, Esther was incredible. Esther, right here! Look at that, look at that, look at that, here too!

Oh, the heart of you. Now you get to taste the RG bar, G, how'd you like it? It's tough when it comes to you. Anyway, here we go. So how much can I say anything? You can say when it comes to you. Anyway, here we go. So how much can I say anything? You can say when he likes to listen. I mean, the title of the show. Or just not the title of the show.

Not the title of the show, yeah. You can say everything else. Yeah, all right. Everything else just don't give us the title of the show. Everything else is fine. Yeah, I don't think we're good enough here. We didn't, we didn't reach. So I can do that.

I'm some filter. Oh, wow. OK. DJ Brogglebox on the ones and twos. Will you play? I'm going to kick into that. Yeah. When the ones tell us you have been

down and Rodney. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I was literally... That was good, actually. Yeah. Come on, let's keep going. We're going to the chorus now, even your...

Oh! Darling Rodney, we're good Hacker Nights at it, Will your boy want to, Boy, see, boy, Marke is creating a summer. If I'm honest, when I would say nearly every indignified moment of my whole career has somehow revolved around singing. And my next project is a musical, so Jenny, that's true, so look forward to that. The worst thing in a fucking song. I'm really excited, that was great,

so no one told you, Dylan Rodney. I don't think so. I do like the way it took you to. No one told you it's gonna be a lot of fucking... Oh, I got so into the song at a first time. So Tom, of course, you've got to get... I'm sorry that I was in enough clues. Oh! There were clues aplenty, Tom. And we've already had succession. I know. We've had Game of Thrones. Tom, any idea? I see Del was in Game of Thrones, so I was wrongly.

Trigger was infamously on the night watch. Which one? Okay, Harry. Only false analysis. Trigger was infamously on the night watch. Okay, Harry. Only false and false. Was that the theme tune or was that the shit... I've got to hold your feet to the fire on this one, Tom. Which one was it? Are the rules?

And friends. It was only false and false and friends. Oh, God. You are incredible how you decided that. And friends it was only for the autism friends You are incredible how you decided that It was it was getting dangerly close to the original lyrics so no one told you Monica and Chandler, last and Gunter comes along and then I think there's also called Rachel. And then there's Joey. Joey Phoebe. The man upstairs. The man upstairs. The head in the chicken. That's all I think people in friends. So, how many points are we gonna give Tom D?

Now, let's think about it. It's out of a title of 10. It's out of a title of 10. Or, you know what? Because we had such a good time listening to it, I'm gonna give him 8 points out of 10. 10 points out of 10. Tom is both angry and then also it is team. I do not know my hands are tied. Your hands are tied. My hands are tied!

Axel, okay. Glocky, close us off strong with a TV theme to which you'll be singing about a different TV show. Do you want to sound the rules? Oh! You got to, mate, I believe in you. And I've said that many times tonight and not meant it, but this time I really do. So here we go. Esther, who's on the box tonight?

DJ Quuggle Box. Play it! It is sci-fi, it is a show, it is not very good in my opinion. Oh, it's a good one, they go around in a telephone box, it is a British show. Ah, it's full of aliens and they barely play for within it some points. And every, every series, they change you with the main character And they all go around And he's got a special screwdriver There, it's a man in a long coat

It is a man, who wears shoes I think I'm not good enough, it is the end of it. Oh! Really good. Okay. So there was a theme tune there for those of you in the audience don't know the rules. It was a theme tune there and Ben was thinking about a different TV show to that theme tune. Do you know either of them?

Babbles. It was... I'll tell you now, a few clues from the lyrics. It was a show and they go around. So... Hopefully that's not too much. Oh, you gave me the line. I'm handing points out.

Can I steal? Esther, any idea about either the theme tune or the TV show so it's doctor. Hey, it was doctor Do you know the theme tune? It's sport. It's sport isn't it was the subtitle of the show What was the main title of the show? I? Go on. I don't know whether it's football or SNCCAR. Great. Harry is so good at that. Harry is jumping at the very guy.

Oh, fucking Mitchell brothers over there. Is it match of the day? It's not match of the day I'm afraid. It's not match of the... Of course you can still win. Why is it? Well, we'll find out. I'm afraid it's not matching but of course you can still yeah Find out it's grandstand of course Should I

Tom riding in How many points am I gonna give Clarkie for that rendition? A thousand. You know what? I'm going to give him the full ten. It's a full ten for Clarkie. APPLAUSE So, producer Emma, what has that round done? We know it's done to our mental health. What's it done to the scores?

Bonus points, if you can tell us, what tune she's singing it to? Here we go Okay, all right. Oh God, I missed it Tom and Tom have 25 Ben honest have 29.5 For a bonus point anyone want to tell us what theme she that was is it a bird of a feather it was birds of a feather Anyone want to do you guys want to steal? General it was? No. Oh, I don't want to.

Do you want to hear it again? It was neighbours. It was neighbours. It was of course neighbours. Oh, I'm bloody hell. That was very, very, very, very. You know what? Neighbours of a feather.

Let's see a feather come together. Now, of course, TV is littered with characters desperate to lay down the law. Judge Shuddy, Judge Rinder, Judge Ryan Holbert, they all pale in comparison at the irrational judgment of beat brothers. Yes! You've got to pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up,

pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up,

pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it Yes indeed it's Pete Brothers where he can be asked our panelists to sort out a flat share based beef and today's one comes from Bruce Who is in the audience? Brucey are you there? Hello Hello Bruce. Oh no

Brucey's a kind of more Top of the show he was a little bit more reticent wasn't he's out of Lucy Brucey He's out of you here. We go Bruce writes writes, my girlfriend is always buying stuff from the chaos aisle in Liddle. Do you know what? I told my husband not to come to you. She bought a boat. Wow. It's eight feet long. So So that is Bruce's beef Bruce is your wife with you tonight. Yes. Yes Okay, so just to tell you before we ask any more questions of Bruce now Tom and Tom you are on Bruce's side always Ben and Esther you are on the side of Bruce's partner. Could we do you have a name here for Bruce?

Yes, Kirsten. Hello, I'm Kirsten. Kirsten. Hello, Kirsten. Okay. All right, so now remember you're on Kirsten's side, Ben Esther. You of course, Tom's are Bruce's side. Before all of that, what you're going to make your cases, before all of that, let's have a little cross examination. Anyone got any questions? Let's start with Bruce, first of all.

Any questions for Bruce? Where'd you live, Bruce? Stratum. Stratum. Oh, yes, I was talking about landlock stress. Yes. LAUGHTER Have you got a dried Bruce? No, seriously, landlocked.

Have you got a dried Bruce? No. So no air keeps such a big bow. A garden Bruce? Yeah, but a shared garden. OK, OK. Oh, your neighbours must love that. How long's your garden Bruce? It's about seven feet. No further questions you'll have.

Oh how long have you and Carson been together? Oh good God. How long have you and Carson been together? Oh, good God. 25 years. 25 years. Oh, congratulations, man. Thank you. You were getting into Bruce. 100%.

The anniversary's first is Wood, second's lever. 25 is both. Big fuck off boat, yeah. Big fuck off boat, yeah. Big fuck off boat. Did you get the boat in little? Yeah. Oh, fuck. I love this.

Yeah, the sound of the good jazz. Is it? Bruce, can you swim? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can swim? Yeah. You like swimming? I love it.

Okay. Any questions for question? Curson, can you swim? Yes. You can't help but sound like a playground bully. LAUGHTER Can you swim? LAUGHTER

Can you swim with the fishes? LAUGHTER Kirsten, the question remains Kirsten. Yes, I can swim. OK, cool, a question. Did you, Kirsten? Can I ask for a motivation for buying the boat? My wife's obsessed with buying boats to protect us from the incoming climate emergency.

What was your motivation for buying a boat? I bought the boat when I used to live near the Thames and I had a miscoited. We only did it in Thames and I had a miscalculated tense. People say they're just getting out of dingy and going around in the Thames on and a sunny day. Where did you live, Custon? I lived in Bermansy near Tower Bridge. Oh, okay, okay.

Yeah, Chexay. It's an inflatable boat. It doesn't actually take up space. Properly in the house of the guy down. But when it's deflated, it's still, they are still quite big too. How much was the boat? 30 planes. Why?

30 planes! It's a bargain. I'll be terrible at saying, Bruce. I absolutely adore you, but that's a real, that's an absolute steal. That's a bargain. You can actually get that boat out well, can't you? Yeah. Yeah.

I hired two trips at a weekend with it. You've got to do two trips and you've got your money back. I paid for it, sir. Have you used the boat, Curston? It's never been on the water, but we haven't even used it on the water. I would never know. It's never been on the water, but what you've

fucked up. That's OK. That's OK. That's a fuck-up. You've got to use water, fuck-up. You've got to use me quite a fan to sort of do movie nights and watch stuff like, you know, what's the Tom Hanks one when he's... Cast, cast, cast. Yeah, yeah.

That'd be quite a funny thing. Do they sell for people? We play the boot up and we sat in it and we watched a John Robbins comedy set. Do you hear a lot of that? That's exactly what I'm going to learn in my life You clearly haven't heard the set Any more questions for either Bruce or Kirsten? How did you in flight? Do you have to use a foot pump?

You want to let a foot pump? You want an electric pump, obviously. Yeah, but we had an inflatable mattress for guests, so we had an electric side of that. Sorry, do you even have a bouncy car? It's like, yeah, everything. Yeah, everything is a shoes off. Are you Mr. Soft from the tree boy? I can't have anything sharp. Go down to a petrol station, use the machine, fill it up, that's just a little. But they just got to schlep the boat back from the petrol station. Like, you do it together.

And then they become those... You carry the boat back, everyone's going, those guys are going to fucking that. They're never going to fucking, they're going to watch a Joe Robinson. They're all Joe robins and chill. I'm not going to fuck you, I'm not going to watch your jaw robins, sir. Sorry, I'm very confused, they fill in the boat with petrol. Well, that makes it go. The top day is the hind going, can you swim?

I'm going to die, sir. I'm Nelson Muns, just walk you down. That's a nightmare! You told David's behind-guide, can you swim? I'm going to die there. Like Nelson Munch. Just walking in that room. Are you going to fuck a walk? Turn this jaw-roving shot. I'll eat Covey for this. Thank you guys very much for being hopefully that's enough information for our teams to make their cases.

So without further ado I call upon Tom Davis to begin the case for the process. I'll say I sort of side with cursors. It's quite difficult Okay, I wouldn't say that out loud I'd want her to know that I'm on a side. I think that actually is a great deal and she could have been a really good Business decision. Anything I'd say from here. Yeah, now the minutes starts. Okay, okay minutes starts Bruce is a sweet and decent human being. Why should this absolute gentleman have his small abode and his tiny garden infringed in Fringe Runner

by a massive eight-foot boat? This boat is an ISO. He's been forced to sit and watch that comedy he doesn't like. No one does. Forced to blow the thing up with his mouth. This is just the cherry on top of a massive cake of chaos bargains from the chaos are in little. I don't even want to pull the lid off this thing.

But this boat stands for more than just something that sells upon the water allegedly. It's actually a real show of a slap in the face to a man who cares so much about someone who's so wonderful. So I generally think, let's put the boats away and let's find out what love Stop that was time-parry by the way and find out that love can float Without inflatable Beautiful That little clip yeah, it was a trickey mooring but you brought it into short time Well done, you know help from your teammate, but Esther you've got a minute now, just like the case for Kirsten. Just a minute. Yes please. You all minute, begins.

Good luck, Esther. Well, it's a, you know, good bargain and obviously it's flights, so good, good, fold that up. So that's good. And clearly, if you did want to take him out one day, take old Bruce out and push him off the boat, because he's mocked your boat, then it's good to have that there. Ready? For that, little dispute that you might have. Big fan, big fan, big fan of all nautical purchases.

I won't lie. And I think out of all the nautical purchases you could have made, I think you've made the right one. And to be honest with you, I think it was a damn fine choice. And also, let's be honest, like you blew it up and you had a little date night in it and I think you know fair play because I can't even bear to be in the same room as my husband so I'll give you yeah I think you're I've done I'd love it if you ended your sets that way as well. No, I'm done.

Imagine being caught. No, I'm fucking done. So Bruce and Kirsten, how do you think it's going so far? Bruce, we're starting with you. You're really strong? Fine. Good. Wow, what's he?

He's pretty easy breezy. He's over a private brew. So I've got to say.? I'm a easy breezy breezy. He's got a private breezy. So I've got to say, he's quite a breezy, because he wrote a complaint. Well, that's true, yes. He liked other people to complain for him, I think. Yeah, Kirsten, how are you feeling about the whole that you're back? Am I allowed to add something?

Yeah, of course, yeah. So we moved a year ago, and I was going to freesyco the boat, and Bruce said, since I'd never got to use the boat, and I really liked liked it that I should bring it with me. Wow! So... That's not going to be strictly for the record. I have to say it's not relevant to the boat, but Bruce slept up a tree at the, um, what was the fault? I think you

breathe bypass, um, protests, where's Swampy? Wow! Wow! I tell you I've got to say this, you two are an absolutely amazing couple. What ever happened here tonight, we just, we love you guys. I don't want to say you love is the winner You are really yeah, you just restored my I'm in a fight. You're not a humanit. Yeah She will she's like should we all just go and buy a boat? Yeah Sure can watch the fucking boat

Yeah Not like I tell you what we We push the chairs back We push the chairs back, we put a thing in the middle of the room We play pig back and those two just go away. Oh, I don't think we'll be playing pin back. I think we'll be introducing Mr. John Robin.

LAUGHTER So, second prosecution, Clarky. Everything's a play for. Thank you. Your minute begins now. Listen, man. The middle aisle of Liddle. It's a magical place.

Yes, right? Yes. It's basically like the conveyor belt for the generation game. If I ever think of it, it's an absolute, it's a feast for the eyes. And I know what's going on here Probably is Bruce thinks He's too good for the middle-eyed

Bruce is a posh might isn't he He's going to read with swampy Lardy Dars Sorry, what can be poshier than being a protester it really is I'm sorry mate. I'm going down to Brighton with my friend and I've got to change the world. No, no, honestly, honestly. Can we take the M.Dates to get there on his boat? Anyway, Bruce's posh, right? He's not going to Lidl, he's going to the pos on a boat. Anyway, Brucey's posh, right? He's not going to Lidl.

He's going to the posh supermarkets. Like a Tesco Express. Or sorry, Brucey, a Tesco Express. He doesn't appreciate what he's got. He's got a wife that is resourceful, she can get anything at any time from her little middle-own. He's got himself a Swiss army wife! Hi!

Hi! Hi, REST! Hi, REST! Hockey REST! Okay, Tom, now you're going to conclude the case for the defence. I've got to ask you, are you going to do this as yourself? No, I'm going to do it in the style of a John Grisham defence lawyer from the defence centre.

Oh my god. Are you there? It goes by the name of Mr Fan Shaw's stand-in. Fan Shaw's stand-in, Presiding. And providing your minutes should you need it begins now. Ladies and gentlemen, after Jury, I recognise a lot of you need it begins now Ladies and gentlemen after you real Recognize a lot of you from the town there John

Robbins I Hope he's not here. He'll be quite crushing Recognize you from the bakery, damn cops smell good. Still calling cops round here, damn dead lawyers from the big city, they're shopping in damn far and places like Little. We don't have no little round here. You start a shop, you put vowels in the title.

We vowels, full ground here. It's Susan's Bakery, and not Susan's Bakery. From damn dare, European countries over dare. Damn day, you repeat, country's over there. Here in that story over there, a Bruce and Kirsten kinda got me thinking about cousin Jackathon, you probably remember. You probably remember cousin Jackathon of mine. Several years ago, sent him off to market day

with the hard hardened quality cash. He kept it up in the attic. Money behind a box in the room up the stairs. Probably remember the song. If you go jackathons see your first day, remember the melons. You're not gonna trip without no melons. Jackathon returns once he got their magic bag. Magic bag full of magic ham.

They ain't heardin' all their magic ham. Jackathon sold it on the road. Magic ham, dug a hole, put it in. We've ordered that magic ham for three days. Hell, y'all probably remember what happened. Woke up on the third day and what had grown? Not at God damn thing. He knows such thing as magic ham.

But there is a magic fed in hole with a coyote in it to big shit on some bad hand. Was breakfast I ever had? The fence rests, y'all. So I would say for very compelling arguments there. Not necessarily in this show, but over the course of the last 13 series. But I can't make the decision myself, as I'm too preoccupied worrying about my invite to the neighborhood watch pool party. So instead, I'm calling upon our live Phoenix audience to make the cause. So if you think Tarman Fanshawe and therefore Bruce is in the right, applaud now.

Oh wow. Bruce, mate. That's not great. That's not great. But if you think Esther and Ben made the best case, please applaud now. Yeah. Now! Sorry guys! Sorry guys! I'm afraid that's it.

It's got to go to Ben and Esther. Bruce, Kirsten, how are you feeling about the results? Yes, fair. Yeah, very fair. Bruce, this doesn't seem to be much fight there. It's not normally right. You know what I mean. I think love is the winner today. Love is absolutely well done. Yeah well done. Congratulations 25 years wonderful stuff. Well today's two. look, I'm sure the head of the neighborhood watch

must have forgot to mail my invite, it only had time to nip round to his house. But where can I find a spare 45 minutes? Hang on, check side, Tinery. Of course! On the ample time during the quick far-round jingle, fire up the e-skuta, here we go! Yeah, if you like that The quick fire round It's the round that goes really quickly Which is why it's always so amusing that it has a long introduction I'm laughing just thinking about it It has a long introduction when it should be really quick The quick fire rounds like a T20 game of cricket

But this jingle is a five day test match It goes on a long time How silly it all And very rarely ends up in a win It normally feels like a draw Yes, it is the test match cricket of Jingles Which is quite apt because I'm watching one right now It's even against Australia

It's the best game Test one day for At Edgebaston And I'll be honest is taking all my concentrate Joe root is in and he's twatting it about 28 of 29 balls He's not sticking around me, unlike this jingle. This jingle's more like an old lots of safety shots in Salester, cooking his prime. It's Geoffrey Boy co-playing for a draw.

It isn't basketball. Well, anyway, we had better get on with the show. And by that I mean I would like to go back to watching the cricket. So whether your route is ramping it, and it's just gone for a six Well, how is that? Let's get on with the quick far-right I really got bored. Yeah, I can see how it's done. Luckily the audience didn't, so it's okay. LBW. Yes, this is the Grickfire round. Yes, this is the Grickfire round. And as I show, it's all about hanging the washing on the line, I'm going to ask a series of questions and I would like our panelists to change the last word of your

answer to an item of laundry. So if I had to ask what's the name of this podcast you might answer, Papi's flat share pants. Instead of buzzers, I'd like you to shout out your first name, Spen and Esther, let's hear yours. Spen. Esther. Tom and Tom. Tom. Off we go. Tom and Tom? Tom of...

Off we go. What was the name of the swivel-hipped King of Rock and Roll? Ben. Elvis T-shirt. Elvis T-shirt is correct. Complete the phrase. The best things in sliced... Tom. Socks. The Grand National, this is my kind of thing.

The Grand National, the Kentucky Derby and the Melbourne Cup All events in which sport Tom Tom horse Badgy's my glitz What was the name of the song by the Beatles that contains the lyric? There's nothing you can do that can't be done nothing you can see Tom Tom. I want to hold your trousers It's not correct. No, that wasn't the answer What an offer Sign me up

There's nothing you do that can't be done nothing to sing that can't be sung oh Ben Ben all you need is socks is we had socks already I'm afraid Ben, all you need is socks. We had socks already on my fridge. I'm so sorry. All you need is at ties. It all you need is ties, I'm going to accept it. 40th of October, 1066, with the start date of which fire? I'm a...

Battle of the Vest. LAUGHTER Battle of the Heistik. I'll give you a half point for that. What was the name of the semi-acquatic, egg-laying mammal mammal native to Australia? Ben. Ben. A duck pill knee pad.

Knee pads. You can't be at knee pads already but I'm going to accept it. Name the traditional knee pads. I think it is in Clarkies case. You've seen his knees. He never needs a half without one. Name the traditional English dish consisting of sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter. S-Told you not stir. Sorry Tom, Esther. Tote in the sock garter. Oh! Wow! And the wristocrat.

What is the name of the result towel on the terms estuary Essex, which both appear and a pleasure be? Tom. Tom. South End on the terms estuary Essex which both appear and a pleasure be. Tom. Tom. South End on Cardigan. Beautiful right? What is the full title of the 1981 movie that introduced us to Harrison Ford's adventure archaeologist character, Tom? Indiana Jones and the...

Go on. Oh! Raider, Ender is in the raiders of the lost? Kikol! Kikol, I'm getting Kikol! Kikol! The bit of the answer that you're going to make up anywhere, but Kikol, I'm going to accept, yeah, that's one point to you guys.

Thank you to Tom Davis for the assist. What is the full name of the 1984 prequel featuring Harrison Ford's adventuring artist, Tom Davis? Indiana Jones and the Temple of... ...Temple of Gloves, yes. It's right in our wheelhouse. What is the full name of the 1989 movie featuring Sean Connery as the father a thousand-fair, and ventric-ben Indiana Jones and the last Cumberbund Excuse me?

Cumberbund I'm going to accept it. Yes, Indiana Jones the last Cumberbund What is the full name of the Crystal Rispan. Oh, I'm afraid I can't accept it. Ah! You know what guys, you've got a chance to steal. Any idea? I'm at the problem is, I'm at my, it was a clothing, I know.

I know the title of the fucking film. Can I give him a night in my clothing? You give him the item of clothing, you do the type of film, okay? Indiana Jones and the curse of the Crystal... Oh do the type of film, okay? Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Crystal Awards. It's not that I'm afraid, audience. Thank you very much, mate. Oh! Beautiful.

Final question, this is a biggie. Oh, shit. What is the full name of the final movie in the franchise? Slated to be released this year and starring Chang Tatum as the titular male stripper. Oh man. I know, I've got it. I've got it.

Tom. Magic Polo shirt. Oh. You've got some of the answer, right? I can't. Yes, go on. Oh, I know. It's up.

You've got none of it answer right. I can't. Yes, go on. Oh, I know. It's up. You've got none of it right. Magic Mike, the last bra. It's great. Oh, fantastic. That is the end of the round. You know the most sad, your addition for that movie. I think Mark has pretty stopped by the park. Your addition for that movie. Yeah, I auditioned for that movie. Really? Yeah, I think Mark has pretty much got the part. Your audition for that? Yeah, audition for that movie, yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. What, and what, right, we've got to ask what, right?

This is a sad old stripper. No, no, no. As a DJ. Well, what? Get it, get it. Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Get it. Oh, Jason Christ. Oh

My god That must be what it's like to be on an idiot rally Jesus Oh my god Oh, it's a reason why none of us have been after auditioned. So, before we find out the final scores, Esther, Tom Davis, anything to plug? Esther, anything to be off on tour? I'm off on tour. Yes, and my London dates are in August, Tom Davis, anything to plug? Esther, anything to be off on tour? I'm off on tour! Yes, and my London dates are in August, so please just check me out on Instagram and come and see me and tour. Thank you so much. Tom! Alright, two of them on tour.

Yeah, bigtomdavis.com com I think it's dot com Not great like it's gonna. There's eights Yeah, I think it's the London dates coming up and dates all around that and also have a podcast wall for now I'm writing a new feature about this Kid I know some writing a new feature about this right-eyed kid who wants to feed a jocky So we'll be open castings We all for wouldn't it just to see Taranegger and play you You guys for watching, there's always check out our Patreon, Patreon.com,

forward slash Pappy's Flakshare, like, subscribe, rate, review our podcast, or just tweet, recommend the podcast to all of your friends. Now, this is very exciting, produce to ever, let's hear those final scores. The audience got one point. Congratulations! Well done, audience.

Ben and Esther Esther 36.5 Tom and Tom 31.5 Tom and Tom hanging the washing on the line Esther and I are going to commit a series of local triumphs on the label watch And their precious ball party that will learn the buzzers for not inviting me Thanks to our guest Esther Benito Yes And Tom Davis

We do parties See you next time on Flamengo Happy to imagine a standout feature of Matthews Rocket Ben Talk and Tom Paryer's special guest Tom Davis And Esther Benito and Dimitra's my partner's a bit more careful So that's a bit of a teaser for our Emma Gorshwin's Green Week famous It'll take you time at Gorshwin Big thanks to everyone at Phoenix, the all-ise my heart as a bit more care. The LXBX is quite evercouraged before you leave famous. It will continue to be time accouraged from big facts that everyone at Phoenix do all our wonderful votes against the sum of emotion.

And to you, our high old ballad swing, Pat me flat chair stando as a secretive production of A-Castle, these next years are on board! CHEERING There it is. There it was. Lovely episode, actually. Yeah.

Always fun to see Matthew on the back foot. I enjoyed listening to that. It was great to, just great not to be there. Ha ha ha ha ha. If you're ever tempted by the idea of getting along to one of our live records, I know they're mostly in London, but if you ever fancy making a little trip of it, then, to have experienced Matthew purged on a high stall next to the huge figure of Tom Davis it really was worth being in the

room that evening. So if you can do come down and experience flat slams live because they're always the sheer scale. I can tell you we've not we've not put them on sale yet but I can tell you the dates of them if you want to put them in your put them in your diary. The next four flat slams are going to be in September and October, the fourth and fifth of September, the ninth and tenth of October. And again, what always happens there is Tom then gets out his diary and writes those down.

And then he writes them down and then, and then we'll get a text message. Yes, text message. bit of our story later. Yeah, it's saying ah about those dates. Are we locked in on those? Yes. The reason we're locked in is for now. Yeah, for now. No, no.

There's no for now about it mate. For now about it. With guest captain John Robbins. There's definitely going to be a bit of that in the, yeah, anyway, but let's, let's, we'll cross that when we come to it. Right folks, thanks to everybody for listening. Do obviously like, subscribe, rate, review, follow us on Spotify, all that kind of stuff, and call the hotline.

Call the hotline. Call the hotline. Guys, I tell you what, get your WhatsApp out right now and 02081233272, save it into your contacts for that moment when you think, oh, a beef has just occurred to me. Record a little voice note, text us on WhatsApp or just call the number conventionally. You can also do that as well.

02081233272. With their own voice, is that right when they call? If they call. No, no, no, no, please. Right, what does that call? If they call? No, no, in hours, please. Right, what does that have to do with that? Is that an AI? Anyway, anyway. Today's episode was produced by Emma Corsion. Yeah!

Corsion team. That's where you interrupted Clarkie and then ended the episode after your sentence. An amazing, an amazing piece of work from Tom Barry there. Don't worry Clarkie, I've got this high all my... Oh, my goodness. Oh, I've got this high all of those almost finishing lines inside. No, it's not the time to talk about it. If you'd like to hear what Clark has to say,

he actually gets a word in Edgeway's on the Patreon. So patreon.com, for what's Lashbappysflat share, do join us. Cheers everyone! Bye! Cheers everyone!