Pappy's Flatshare - Xmas Slamdown w/ Elis James & Angela Barnes (Arrange the Nativity Scene) S12E47

Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom at a lot for... It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Four things. It's like theaters December 15th.

Starting point is 00:00:20 Greetings, listener dear, I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Matthew and welcome Welcome One and All. So the very exciting Christmas special of Papi's flat share slam down. Don't they come round quick, eh? Don't they come round quick? Well, it's only did in this case because we recorded it in October. Oh, that'll do it. That'll explain it.

Starting point is 00:00:43 That will explain it. That will explain it actually, yes. Really sharpish this year, yeah, it in October. Oh, that'll do it. That'll explain it. That will explain it. Well, it's probably actually, yes. Really sharpish this year. Yeah, it really did. A very, very fun episode. Really excited for you to hear it. Two brilliant guests. Obviously, Ellis James, he finally made good

Starting point is 00:00:56 on his promise of doing a flat-chest slam down with us. Only a day late, but he was there. Angela Barnes was there. It was a ton of fun. We had a great time, we can't wait for you to hear it. But before we let you hear it, we would love to tell you about two flat-shear slam downs happening in the futuristic year of 2024. We made it to 2024. Oh, it's like back to the future. Can you believe that?

Starting point is 00:01:19 We haven't yet, let's just go with a wish for the moment. This is our Christmas wish for 2024, is that we make it all the way to January 29th and January 13th. If we perish in our blimp trip that we've got organized for New Year's Eve, this will make for really tragic listening, won't it? It'll be so sad.

Starting point is 00:01:40 If it's Hindenburg too, yeah. Our hot air bluner ship, New Year's Eve race that we've got planned. If that goes tits up, people all listen back to this and go listen to that. Listen to how sure they were of 2024. Listen to the joy in their voices. Well, if we do not die in an airborne disaster,

Starting point is 00:02:00 or any other disaster, or just, you know, I guess, and any death at our age is gonna, could be considered a disaster, I mean, I guess any death at RH is gonna be considered a disaster, I think, right? Right, sure. But only for a few more years. Yeah. I think without a medium of things. No, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 00:02:15 I would say we've got 25, no, I'd say 30 years. I think, yeah, I think, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you reckon? What do you reckon with disaster stage? Oh, disaster stage today. But I think it depends on the person and the way that we've lived, you know.

Starting point is 00:02:36 In the next five years, it would have been surprising for us. Yeah. The hog has been so high. It's been in a narrative.. Well listen guys, do you do get in touch with what you think the is a disastrous age. Papi's flat share at gmail.com. But before all of that, we've got to promote these two shows. So January 29th, we've got Joe Wilkinson and Sue's Campaner joining us at the Phoenix in Cavendish Square in London and then on Tuesday the 30th and we've got Carrie Adloid and Kima Bob.

Starting point is 00:03:12 Oh, God, such a good lineups. Okay, so that's January 29th, Joe Wilkinson and Sue's Campaner, January 30th, Carrie Adloid and Kima Bob, you can get your tickets from papyscomedy.com forward slash live. And remember, if you're a Patreon member, you can get a promo code that gets you discounted tickets off all of those shows. And on top of all of that, even if you're not a Patreon member,

Starting point is 00:03:37 if you think, well, those are two good shows, I can't choose between which one I'd like to go to. I'm gonna go to both. There is a papyscomi'scomedy.com, four slash live, there is a ticket discount for both shows. So if you wanna buy a ticket for both shows, I think it's something like 15 quid for both shows. What?

Starting point is 00:03:55 It's a good for both shows. It's very, very cheap. And in 2024 prices, that is a steal. That's about £2.50 a comedian. Yeah, so that's true. If you count all of us as comedians, yeah. I was thinking when there's any four comedians on the bill. Oh yeah, yeah. The that's true. If you count all of us as comedians, yeah. I was thinking, when there's any four comedians on the bill,

Starting point is 00:04:07 no, yeah, yeah. Three of us is wrong, three of us is wrong. Yeah. Three podcasters and four comedians. If you don't mind stretching the term comedian to absolute breaking point, then yes indeed. Maths works out.

Starting point is 00:04:22 Right, folks, and by the way, if you want to join the Patreon, patreon.com, forward slash, papi's, flat if you want to join the Patreon Patreon.com forward slash Pappy's flat share, you get all the bonus episodes, get it as a present for yourself for Christmas, treat yourself to a year's subscription to Pappy's flat share on Patreon. But crucially, the main thing is, the main feed is completely free. This is our Christmas gift to you. This is to the world.

Starting point is 00:04:43 To the entire universe. This is Pappy's flat-shear slam down, Christmas special off we go ho ho. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Bum bum bum bum Peace on her I know it really Listen jingle my bells Look at the state of this nativity scene What? Mary's on her back Joseph's on top of her

Starting point is 00:05:15 What? Turn if you read the Bible that's certainly not canon And the... And the animals look at them My hocks is all all asscuing my asses in absolute shit show! One of you two has got a rear-raised the Nativity scene! Oh, it's not going to be me, man. No, no, no. No, no.

Starting point is 00:05:37 The thing is, I've got nothing to do with Nativities until they let me do mine the way I want to do it, right? I've got this idea. I reckon Abba would be the perfect cast for in the TVT. Oh, yeah, because Benny Benny would be an amazing Joseph We can all agree and a free would be like a perfect Mary The only problem with the casting I've got is with them. Oh, no, of course Christ that's Savior is beyond. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:06 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:14 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:22 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'll reign dear. It's not going to be me. The last time I did the Nativity, I cast the baby Jesus as the minister who created the NHS. But he kept farting. And then Mary, I cast as the actress from Mama Mia and the Devil wears Prada, but she smoked a spliff before the start of the show, which I add, and Joseph, I cast as a massive ape, and I have to tell

Starting point is 00:06:53 him, King Kong, Merrill Streep is high, Nibb, and smells are meaging. Oh Well Roasting in history Let me tell you if you enjoyed that you're gonna love the final round There's only one minute settle this we're gonna have to have a Hello and welcome to flat chest land down the panel show that Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh, Oh, the fields we go, laughing all the way, Ha ha ha, bells on, not telling, Making spirits bright, what fun it is to laugh and sing as they

Starting point is 00:07:55 It's on tonight, oh jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, Oh, what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh I don't think I'll ever be able to do it I don't think I'll ever be able to do it Oh! Now, obviously, obviously, Merry Christmas, first of all

Starting point is 00:08:23 Oh, obviously Merry Christmas. Thank you. But you can't... If you can still call it that please, Dave. Oh, yeah. Fucking right, actually. I'm a bit up and throw away the key if I say Merry Christmas. I know. I'm still feeling a bit that...

Starting point is 00:08:39 Cosby needed the words for jingle bells. Why not? There's nothing worse than drying up on stage, honestly, especially... Especially when you see the children's festive song, there's nothing worse feeling. One horse opens, yeah, that's... Yeah, so... But anyway, listen, Tom, Ben, you can't rearrange this activity on your own.

Starting point is 00:09:02 Who have you brought to prep your mongey this year, Tom? Well Matthew, terrible news, the jamborene activities in danger. Oh no! Yeah. The stables where we're going to host the Nativity of Burnt Down. So instead, I'm host to get in an Angela Barnes. Yes. Yes.

Starting point is 00:09:18 Yes. Oh, Angela White. You're hosting it, where? I don't know, I think it. I thought this seat was uncomfortable. Well, that's the Golden Frankenstein's. Angela, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:09:43 I'd like to have you here. What do I... Thanks for coming on the show. Thank you, I have a big name. I'd like to have you now, to have you here. What do I... Thanks for coming. Just in case, the people would talk. It is the opposite party, after all, isn't it? So, listen, what is Christmas like in your gaff? So, I'm Christmas... I throw everything at Christmas like a divorce dad

Starting point is 00:10:00 who wants the kids that year. I... I'm... Christmas is fomented on my hat. I think it's because I'm inherently sad and I don't wanna admit it. So as long as everything jingles and jingles it looks pretty, it's gonna be fine.

Starting point is 00:10:11 It's a great time behind in the sadness, isn't it? It's the most one of the time of the year for that thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how are you feeling? There's obviously we're having this in the middle of October. What is it? What? What?

Starting point is 00:10:26 Shall I not have said that? Hey! How is it making you feel today? Are you feeling, are you feeling, are you feeling, are you feeling jingle-jangle? You're thinking the middle of October, we're at least feeling a little bit, you know, Chris Benieveen, but I'm fucking boy with it. Absolutely. I've got a fan.

Starting point is 00:10:42 I mean, not just like one. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for coming, mate. Yeah, I was going to say he looks a bit creepy during the throwdown. Can I finish the show first? Angela Barnes and he is great to have you on the show, Angela Barnes. Can I say, I've got off of P of Parenty Hell tonight but I turned it down. This is unbelievable. For a number of reasons I say.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Not having children being a major one. So Ben, who have you brought along with you? I brought little baby Jesus in Celestia! Oh! Christ our Savior is Ellis. So Ellis, it's great to have you on the show. Thank you so much for nothing in the diary tonight. A gap in the advent calendar, was it?

Starting point is 00:11:42 A gap in the advent calendar, was it? LAUGHTER Now, I've got to ask you, what's Christmas like in your house? Is it poppin' on the doorbread? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER It is entirely milk tray-oriented, is it? Which, fun fact, is what I chose as my side?

Starting point is 00:12:05 Oh, what is Christmas like in your house? Well, I, er, it's relatively close to my birthday, but I don't celebrate my birthday, so I save it all up for Christmas. How close? November the 3rd. What? LAUGHTER

Starting point is 00:12:22 What? My birthday's closer than that. That's a hell of a run up you're taking, that, eh? So it's relatively close to it in the same year. So I'm so pretty close to like all of the holidays. So I don't mention my birthday to anyone. Too scared of the admin. And then a Christmas, when everyone says happy Christmas, me, I go,

Starting point is 00:12:46 and birthday? Yeah. And I go, what? And I go, nothing, just to forget I said the others. No, it's the ones again. Yeah. Because Paris, you're December 16th. Closer.

Starting point is 00:12:55 Yeah. Closer. 17th. LAUGHTER You've moved it up a day. Fair enough. Really, really, pretty pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty cool. You said it, a day, fair enough. Really, he's pretty pretty big a gap. Good call. You celebrate your birthday?

Starting point is 00:13:08 Yes. Frequently. Yeah. I do, you can say. I feel I should get in on that scene. When you just, when you just stop, when was the last birthday you remember celebrating? 18th. 18th was the last one that...

Starting point is 00:13:20 No, some of them bought me bollies on my... On my... On my soul, present birthday. On my 30tholognese on my... On my... On my sole present, man. On my 30th, well, on my 30th, there was a friend and his birthday was the day before, so I sort of tagged along to his party, and the one person I had at that party was coming for me, knew I like bolognese,

Starting point is 00:13:39 and brought it to a nightclub on Liverpool Street. LAUGHTER Midnight, I was just in there, because he was in a big steel pot. LAUGHTER Of course he said, it's really what you can use as a weapon. So he just said,

Starting point is 00:13:55 it's a key to get a taxi home. And then he just sent me, I remember he sent a selfie of him with the big pot of bolognese and the taxi saying, happy birthday, sorry, I had to miss it. LAUGHTER Can I... It's great to have you on the show. It's also great to get all the off-menu base him with the big pot of bolognese and the taxi saying happy birthday, but it's sorry I had to miss it.

Starting point is 00:14:09 Could I just say it's great to have you on the show, it's also great to get all the off-menu b-side as well, let's get started. Stabby didn't have time, it's a little bit of a stage, you need more of that ball. This is so sad though, you don't celebrate your birthday since you're 18. I tell you what we should do, next year we'll put this room out to a podcast and you can fucking count on that one as well. So, we have met our guests. Let's find out. It'll be top of the tree and it'll be falling out of it and hitting every branch on

Starting point is 00:14:40 the way down as we play. Round one! on the way down as we play round one. Woo! Woo! Get your donkey running, clopping down the highway, looking for a stable, somewhere up at free handway. Yeah, Mary's gonna have a baby, even though she ain't been influenced. She's gonna be the world's first mama, who is also chased, freaking tongue and tongue. He's also changed, thinking's on a jet Follow him to the start What is on a scooter?

Starting point is 00:15:32 He's smoking a big cigar Yeah, shepherds is the angel Gabriel Oh, there ain't no need to be afraid He's telling you got's had okay man, it's in a manger live Like a true holy child, he was born, told me goodbye What do you prefer, go frank and sense your mind Oh, oh, oh, me gamma, oh, me gamma, oh, me gamma, oh, me gamma, oh, me gamma, oh, Wow! This was!

Starting point is 00:16:19 That was Steppenwolfer Hampton. LAUGHTER Until this moment, I've never seen wearing hearing aids as an advantage. They've got an off-butt. I think that's a good time, because we haven't done it yet. Now's a good time to crack open the Advocat, cos... CHEERING This is our festivities, and before we play the first round, we'll crack open the Advocat.

Starting point is 00:16:44 First, you've never been to a, apparently he's Christmas special before. We give all of our guests a bottle of, a bottle of warning's advocate here. If you've not tried it before, it's a bit like custard, it's a bit like light of fluid. Not as good as either of those things. So that's what it is. Look at the poor on that guys. You just say when, Alice. When, when, when, when, when when when when when when when when when Hey, Gabby. Have they served that in the dream restaurant?

Starting point is 00:17:36 Yeah, you're right to go to the end. Well, you all thought it was going to jug it. It's absolutely horrific. You get used to it after 11 years. I'm like the only person here that agreed to do the Christmas special because of the affidavit. Fucking love it. I mean, that's didn't even agree to the Christmas special, you just, um, just the way it's worked out.

Starting point is 00:17:57 So, yes, the first round is called Christmas Caracters. Don't make me say it again, Tom, it's Christmas Caracters. Pardon? Don't make me say it again, Tom, it's Christmas Caracters. I'm going to give each player the name of a festive mascot from around the world. You know, Santa Claus, Elf on the shelf, big ins. That's okay, but... Then they have to give three different descriptions

Starting point is 00:18:18 of that character to the opposite team. One will be the real one, two that will have made up on the spot. It's up to the opposing team to work out which description is the real one, two will have made up on the spot. It's up to the opposing team to work out, which description is the real one? Two points if they get it right. If they don't, the points go to the other team. We'll start with Ben Clark. Now yours is from Catalonia.

Starting point is 00:18:34 You remember Catalonia, don't you? It's Sarlover, the front. Hey, you know the French. You know the French. Oh. Oh. Nadal. T.O. D'Nadal. Tom and Angela, which one is T.O. D'Nadal? And which two are T.O. D'Nadal?

Starting point is 00:19:01 That's only one Wimbledon. I think he has. Yeah. Well, let's find out. Ben Clark, give us three definitions to fake one real of Tio dinadao. Tio dinadao is a Christmas demon who makes sure the kids are being good.

Starting point is 00:19:23 And if they're not, then he comes along and he steals their gifts and gives them to the good children. The little kicker is... He cuts off one of their fingers when he does that. Whoa! Tio, you're maniac. Okay, that's, that's definitely number one.

Starting point is 00:19:42 Tio Nadal. He sort of, he robs from the bad he gives to the good but he also takes a little bit of figure as well. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you take a figure at Christmas? Seriously guys, thank you Keith Alan. Okay Okay. Definition number two of Tio Denadal. Tio Denadal, aka the pooping log, is a log they have in their house. You can go to the next one, it's fine.

Starting point is 00:20:18 And throughout Christmas, the family feeds the log, and then on Christmas Eve, the family, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, But it's got legs, so it's like log. Oh, sorry. I don't think there's a dog. It's not a dog. It's a log, but it resembles a dog, because it's got legs, and like a log body. Oh, like log, so I've legs. Yeah. Exactly, logs don't, so it's... No, no, no, no, no. It's not that one anyway.

Starting point is 00:21:02 LAUGHTER So it's... No, no mind. It's not that one anyway. LAUGHTER T.O. Ten of Dall. I'd say just keep the first one in your mind. LAUGHTER T.O. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D And then the hell, go on, number one. Here we go, answer. OK, hey. It's called the bad pudding. And it's a Christmas pudding. They're family make two Christmas puddings at the start, on so it's believed. And if you've been naughty or nice, you don't know.

Starting point is 00:21:42 And you find out with the pudding, the good pudding is going to smell taste delicious. And the bad pudding is going to... Bachelors. Yeah. The bad pudding is filled with a, you know, log poop. Yeah. So we've got ourselves.

Starting point is 00:22:02 We've got ourselves the demon that takes a finger, we've got the shit log and we've got the bad pudding. I've got the answer here I don't know which one it is but what do you think? You talk us through the board. It can't be a pooping log. Unless it's some kind of a, it is a pooping log? Oh, it's really boring when you know what it is, isn't it? Oh! T-100 does a shit in log! Oh my god, I don't know. It's just T-10, it's a fucking Q-I. Thanks for catching that by the way.

Starting point is 00:22:36 I just had to do it. So you think it is the pooping log? Bons is in the night. I'm pretty sure it's a shitty log. I'm not. That's a real log that they They're a stasera Yeah, it is. It's a Catalonian Yeah, I'm trying to fudge it like I didn't know but yeah, it's that And the log shits. Yeah, and they feed it and then you eat What's in this

Starting point is 00:23:04 Coma What's in this absolutely? What did you think of it? A way in a coma! What the fuck's happening? What did you think of your load? You're not one of these fools that thought it was chocolate, are you? Don't know what, which is up? So what are you guys? I'm Trust in Barnes. Trust in Barnes, Ben Clark was Tom Wright to trust Angela was Angela Wright.

Starting point is 00:23:25 It's not going to be. T.O. Dina Dowl, A.K.A. the pooping log. Wow. Wow. And dammit. Play the blind. Thanks, man. Please, can I be on QI? That's my pitch.

Starting point is 00:23:41 We've got no sway in the industry whatsoever. We're like the anti-QI. Our show will make you thicker. It is a pooping log. You're absolutely right. And apparently, when the log poops out an onion, that is the end of the party. And, er, that's the saying goes. There's a similar rule that Greg Wallace is out.

Starting point is 00:24:04 Next up is Angela. You're off to Iceland to meet Jola Kuturin. Wow. Ben and Ellis, which one of these three descriptions is the real JK? Mmm. Okay. Jola Kuturin is a prawn.

Starting point is 00:24:20 And Jola Kuturin is from Iceland, and they have a tradition in Iceland where they respect the Australian Christmas. It's a frozen prawn. So they have one single Jola Couture in the frozen prawn. Thank you. That they dress in a bikini and put on the barbecue. I'm not good at improvising. Jola Couture is a giant bloodthirsty cat.

Starting point is 00:24:50 LAUGHTER Why not? The upward inflection is Spokovolus. LAUGHTER It's people who don't buy new clothes for Christmas. Oh! I got your attention. Yeah. by new clothes for Christmas. Oh! I got your attention.

Starting point is 00:25:06 Yeah. Jolene, Jolene Couturean is a giant Christmas pig who gets fattened up and the children give him a name and then they carve him up on the day after Christmas. It's a federal standard reading now.

Starting point is 00:25:23 It's a prawn cat or pig. What are you thinking? The Ellis Ben. The confidence with which she read the final one. For me, I think that says an awful lot. Yeah, yeah. There were no open inflections. Also, is the kind of slightly mad tradition you get at Christmas if you

Starting point is 00:25:46 go back far enough to be like oh yeah yeah and then everyone dies at the end. I quite like the prawn but then I just went into Australia. How influential is Australian culture on the culture of Iceland? Like if you walk around Reykjavik, I like people who know Bjork saying things like, good I made, because they love the soap operas. Maybe. Maybe, I don't know. No, I think you're

Starting point is 00:26:15 right, let's go for the last one. It's got to be the peak. Angela, can you give us the correct answer please? It is a giant blood thirsty cat. Yes! You got the fabulous magic baby! So she's shot Angela Sean Locktos then. Did I? I hustled you baby. That is unbelievable. Yes, it's a massive cat with a blood lust for brand new material. That's like they never show up at one of our gigs. Elyse!

Starting point is 00:26:47 Elyse! Elyse, your character is the Welsh Marie Lodd. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. Tell us about Marie Lodd. Will you be attempting the accent? Errr. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

Starting point is 00:27:54 gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r i for a lump of coal or an orange or something. But now we've got Irish children going, a Time to go, gee! You're c'mon a ball! Maybe you want a black pre-message for me! In many ways I'm more efficient than the IFA! So yeah, it's a tradition of the chimney ghost. Or is it the evil leaf of Christmas? There will be a bad leaf on the tree.

Starting point is 00:29:43 And it's a fun game you play with the children on this birthday. And if they choose the designated bad leaf, they then refuse to access to the toilet. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Oh, no! And they, presumably, they have to use the bad leaf.

Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah, yeah, they use the bad leaf. And it's horrible. It's dying out to the tradition, to be honest. So it was quite big until the sempties, and then, you know, people have decided, is this really the way we want to bring about children? But sort of the posher family is a bizarrely bringing it back. So, yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:18 What can you say? OK, so just to remind you, what we've had so far, we've got the horse head karaoke competition to stop adultery happening in the village, we've got the chimney ghost that appears to only give presents from 1989 and we've got the evil piss leaf. Well, Angela. Yeah. I'm evil piss leaf. Absolutely. That's all parents need.

Starting point is 00:30:51 He's more shit in the house. So that's not a Christmas. It's not like, I don't want to go all cute, I, I don't know. Oh, no. Oh, there we go. That's too good. There we go. I've not about this.

Starting point is 00:31:00 One of two things has happened, right? Yes. Either it is the Christmas ghost of the chimney, or Ellis has recently read Roddy Clark Ha Ha Ha by Paddy Norris. Where they do shout their Christmas requests up the chimney. Did that come out? It did come out in about 1993. He's absolutely just ready.

Starting point is 00:31:22 It starts to make sense. Yeah. So he loves a runny-doyote. He agrees that or he's got that idea from that and it's actually the horse skull. I quite like the horse skull. That's sort of that kind of a... I was ready to dismiss the horse skull and then singing competition came into it.

Starting point is 00:31:41 Yeah. And I thought that's fucking well, she's meant to be. Yeah. It's the only thing they've got. Can you spell the name of it? How's it spell the name? A Vali Lloyd, why Newwood F-A-R-I, Newwood L-W-Y-D. I don't know. Mali Lloyd in English, M-A-R, right? Like, Marie Lloyd, yes. So it's a musical star called Mammy Lloyd, isn't there?

Starting point is 00:32:06 Nothing to do with her. No, nothing to do with her. She why? Why am I not on it? LAUGHTER She's saying. I think we're going to go horse head singing comp. Final answer. Final answer? Yeah. You're locking it in. Locking it in. Ellis. It's horse head singing comp.

Starting point is 00:32:20 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Have you recently been Paddy Clark? No, is he told me that the other day? She said, I think Irish kids shook the request of the chimney. And I poured scorn on that idea. Shall I be great? Is if when the Marry Lord Hall said,

Starting point is 00:32:39 comes to Tom Jones' window, he sat on a chair facing away from him. LAUGHTER And he hears the voice and just goes, comes to Tom Jones' window. He sat on a chair facing away from him. LAUGHTER And he hears the voice and just goes, yes! LAUGHTER LAUGHTER That would be great, wouldn't it? And the fact is, people love songs about a duttery.

Starting point is 00:32:58 LAUGHTER And I can help you. I have blue blue. I can help you. I can't do the Lord have blue blue! I can help you! I can't do that! I don't know what I'm talking about! I mean, my wife had an agreement! That's fine! After I did, but I checked her out. I knew when I was abroad, it was okay! You're going to do the accent.

Starting point is 00:33:18 So yes, indeed, you're absolutely right. It is a weird weird face creature who if you impress him with your singing has the power to change your life Which is also the first life Simon cows Wikipedia page It is me! Finally Tom Barry, you jolly old elf Your festive friend is from the Basky country and their name is Ollent Zero. Who or what is Ollent Zero? Ollent Zero is, okay, okay. Ollent Zero is a fat guy and he smokes a cigar.

Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah. And he sits on a fence at Christmas. And if you pass him on the way to the shops or church, just those two. If you look him in the eye, he'll turn you into a pile of ash. Well, that's e-hell. That's asel thing. On his arrow is a fat man. Oh, hello, he smokes a pipe. Oh This is how you play guys this is how you play

Starting point is 00:34:41 And it used to be That if he didn't like you It's cut your throat. Oh my God! Nowadays, he'll give you a present. What? Oh, hold on. So, it's like, it's reformed character. What?

Starting point is 00:34:59 As the tradition changed. Listen, we're all allowed a second chance of Christmas. We're all allowed a second chance. Olazero is a fat man. He's got a fire on his head. And a Christmas Eve. If you're asleep, he'll come into your house. And with his head, he'll light the fire in the fireplace.

Starting point is 00:35:28 And if you're lucky, maybe he'll leave you a gift. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver.

Starting point is 00:35:39 Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. So we've got, we've, one thing is established. Oh, hang on. He's an open. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 00:35:48 What? So he's definitely, we know he's a fat man, we know that much. Oh, exactly. And he's either going to turn you into a pile of ash if you look at him on the way to the church or the shops, or he is going to, he used to slit your throat, but now he's changed his tune and he's given out Haribo. And, or he's going to come in with a big fire on his head and you know, do the doors thing. Okay, so what are we thinking?

Starting point is 00:36:12 I think it's between Ash and Burning Head. Yeah, we tell you. I think the reformed character narrative for me feels unbelievable. Yes. I can imagine him turning children into a pile of ash. Yeah, that's classic mythology fairy tale stuff. Yeah, I think Scrooge would have been a harder watch

Starting point is 00:36:33 if he'd have started the films, like, slitting people's throats. Yeah. I think he'd probably like, by the end, he might be like, oh, good, he'd be like, back in the dark, man. But if you read fairy tales, like Hans Christian Anderson, they are really bleak and unpleasant.

Starting point is 00:36:49 That's true, yeah. So we're not a million miles away from that, I don't think. I love the Christmasy nature of him lighting a fire with his burning head. That's my favorite one. Yeah. But I don't know if it's the best. But I like that story. I like the story.

Starting point is 00:37:09 And I think Tom's eyes lit up. Well, my head lit up. What do you think? I think head. I think head. And if he gets the point, he deserves it. Yeah, we're going to go ahead. You go with your head. Rodney Hart. Tom Perry, can you read us please? The correct definition of who Ollett

Starting point is 00:37:33 Zero is. Ollett Zero is an overweight man. He wears a berry and smokes a pipe. Oh fuck, man. He is now a beloved character who comes there in gift But originally he went around town with his sickle cutting the throats of people who ate too much at Christmas That is world-class gameplay that is genuinely world-class gameplay. That is genuinely world-class. Thank you. Thank you for recognizing that. That was really that was smashing stuff, parry, really smashing stuff. So yes, it's an overweight man

Starting point is 00:38:14 who just lets people throw it if they eat too much. And I believe a similar thing. That was a great world-class house. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Time to hear from my favourite festive character, producer Emma Uperbushka you, what are the scores? Well, one team, someone Angela. What can I need to know which team? Someone Angela. Have all the points were they?

Starting point is 00:38:37 Ben and Ellis, Carl, just zero. Zero points. Oh, my goodness. So, Tom and Angela are in the lead, but in the spirit of the season, there are still plenty more rounds to unwrap in part two. We will see you in a bit! Woo! Woo!

Starting point is 00:38:53 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Do you want to see what the world is really like? Yes. Four things is deliciously funny and spectacularly entertaining. A woman plotting her course to freedom.

Starting point is 00:39:05 At a lot for her. It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's a like theaters for December 15th. Welcome back to Flash Eslanda! Before the break, Tom and Angela were in the lead. Ben and Ellis were yet to score.

Starting point is 00:39:26 Oh, that hasn't changed. And yet Ellis has been on QI. And neither has my disheveled mess of an activity scene, Nativity, more like Shativity. Oh! And who's replaced Baby Jesus with Baby Yoda? Pay for this, you will. LAUGHTER Let's play round two. It's flat game! Who's replaced baby Jesus with baby Yoda? Pay for this you will. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 00:39:46 Let's play round two. It's flat game! CHEERING Let's play together games. Let's play forever. Roll the dice. Spin that thing. Put that down. Let's lose your toll. GAME

Starting point is 00:40:01 If you lose you can't knock in. GAME If you win you get go go go Frexism Frexism Frexism Frexism Frexism

Starting point is 00:40:20 Frexism Frexism Frexism Frexism Frexism Frexism Frex Frex Frank from the North. Oh, Frank from the North. Alex is in the house. There he is, that boy flees. Is that that boy flees? That's it. Right, this week we are playing our version of Skittles, which we're calling Skittles be lonely this Christmas

Starting point is 00:40:43 without you to automaton. Because... What? What, what, what what what what I'll tell you I'm gonna re-want back my fats back again That's bad. That's bad by old. Old boys, fast. My daughter started calling me the big buff. Don't mind it. Oh, hard. That's a good nickname.

Starting point is 00:41:18 I'm the big buff. That's fine as long as she's not thinking about Frank Buff. Unless you're over 45,'ve never been in that. Allegedly, I've not. But I've done the background reading. Wait, did you start? So I am going to give each player a list of four Christmas songs, and I'm also going to give them this, which is an otamatone,

Starting point is 00:41:41 the traditional festive instrument. You've got to give, you've got to get your teammates to guess as many of the songs on that list as possible in 90 seconds by playing them on this instrument. For those of you unfamiliar with the Atomatone, it's one of Japan's best-selling musical instrument, portable synthesizer toys. It's fun and easy to play.

Starting point is 00:42:00 This is straight from their website. Slide your fingers along the stem to vary the pitch and squeeze the cheeks for the... Squeeze the cheeks! He's not you! Wait for the dispatcher! Squeeze the cheeks for the brato, it says here, and I'm presuming they mean the ones on the instrument, but let's find out as we play a point for every correct song guest I'll also award the player up to 10 points

Starting point is 00:42:29 full performance so really give those cheeks a good smush Tom we're gonna we're gonna start with you onshore there you go bond your indeed and Merry Christmas this is your atoma tone in fact that Is that the one you brought from home? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Crazy horses! Wow! My favourite Christmas song. Crazy donkeys! Tommie, that's plenty of time to practice. Tommie, here you go. Here are your four Christmas corkers. Less you.

Starting point is 00:43:19 And you've got your instrument there. Now, are you going to go high, medium or low pitched? What are you thinking? I'm going to be pitching it in the style of a deep saver. You've got to head there. Oh man. I think some of the pages of your script are stuck together with that bar car actually. So, let's head to the next round.

Starting point is 00:43:42 Okay. Okay. You ready? Oh, I'm getting full. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, you ready? Am I guessing so? Yes. Right. So, really? Angela, you are going to be guessing, okay?

Starting point is 00:43:51 What song is tommorow to practice playing? You've got 90 seconds on the clock. Four songs, your time starts now. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- I'm like, couldn't buy you up, that's what Chris is. I'll tell you now, top you play the rock song. That was good though, that was perfect. Someone else just got that one. Oh right, yep. I'll do a different one. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:25 Silent night. Yeah. That's not nice. Jinkle bells. Yes. Very good. Jinkle. Jit.

Starting point is 00:44:35 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Starting point is 00:44:43 No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost, I lost, I lost, I'm lost, best one of them. That was really good. Guys, that was really, really good. I'm afraid you're not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

Starting point is 00:45:12 I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

Starting point is 00:45:20 I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. That's a football song. Once in Royal David City. That's the best one I've ever done. That was really good. Guys, that was really, really good.

Starting point is 00:45:29 I'm afraid your time is up. Oh, I'm sorry. Very good. You've got two points there. I'm going to give you, if you can get what that one was. I've, I've really, I'm going to give you a time. I'm going to give it one more time. Ah.

Starting point is 00:45:39 My goal is, Chris, let's go on. You're going to give it one more time. OK. No, you can't give it one more time. Okay. No, you can't read all my time, apparently. I've lost it. I've lost it. I genuinely, I mean, I've just said it last Christmas. It wasn't last Christmas. I've thrown it over to the other team.

Starting point is 00:45:59 Any idea what Tom was playing there to score an extra point? It's a song football fun sing, you're fucking shit! You're fucking shit! You're fucking shit! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, yeah Yeah, snowy 18 So I'm gonna go sorry, that's my favorite runs. You know what you did a brilliant job You got you got you got two out of fantastic their Angela Barnes very very strong How many how many points am I gonna give you for performance Tom? I thought that was I thought was really good I think I'm gonna give you Eight and a half out of ten.

Starting point is 00:46:45 I'll take it. I know about a ten. Now, fucking out. Did you hear when I was trying to do E17 as well for a while? Oh yeah, that's it. I was going to get one out of the songs where of course it was Merry Christmas everyone, silent night, jingle bells and stay another day by E17.

Starting point is 00:46:59 Honestly, when you listen back to it, I fucking nailed it. Yeah, actually. Really good. Kick yourself. You'll kick yourself. It's only more to a rote on one of those things. Yeah. So, Ellis, here you go.

Starting point is 00:47:12 That is for you. Here are your songs. Are you going to go hide medium or low? What do you think? I'll be going medium, I think. Go medium, exactly, for an obvious. Ben, which of these festive hits can you recognise? Ellis, I'm going to start your time in a second, I'll open the envelope if I want to.

Starting point is 00:47:29 Okay. I hate to tell you how to play the game, but I want to read the names of the songs. So I'm just trying to... I'm asked to the axe. I'm like... I'm like King Robert Fripp from King Crimson. I need sort of... I need a couple of minutes, just... Yeah, I'll be up one with my guitar.

Starting point is 00:47:53 Okay, here we go. Ellis, your time starts now. Is it just me? I think Elis just killed you, but Drangle isn't that big. I can move on. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We've got some of our notes on it. Oh! There we go. There we go. This is like watching more Davies discover. Okay, you've got 20 seconds left. Oh, okay, okay. Come on now, can you do that one of these?

Starting point is 00:49:45 That's your time, I'm afraid. How can you do that one of these? LAUGHTER AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH It's gonna be really, so any idea what, any idea what Ellis was playing for the first or the last songs? No. No. First one fairly obvious, I thought. I thought you did a pretty good job, not as well as Tom did when he played it accidentally. Yeah. But it was, it was Merry Christmas everyone by slide.

Starting point is 00:49:58 Yeah, it was very nailed by them. Merry Christmas everybody by slide. Yeah. It was a way and a major, you got that, root off the Red Nose Rain Day, and the last one, could we just hear a tiny bit of the last one again? OK. And then you can tell us what it was you attempting to play.

Starting point is 00:50:14 It is, of course, fairy tale of New York. LAUGHTER No! LAUGHTER No! LAUGHTER No! No! Boys, you have my feed feeding choir, have taught themselves.

Starting point is 00:50:28 But, if you permit me to sing at the same time? Yes, I would love that, yeah. And the moon, the moon, the Christmas moon! My stat, correct, and it was fantastic. How many points am I going to give Ellis for that performance? Well, it was, it really was something else I think I've got to give you I would give you seven out of ten seven out ten for Angela I'm slightly nervous about this because my family of all musicians except me

Starting point is 00:50:57 And my uncle won't let me sing because he says when I do we don't get a harvest? LAUGHTER Thanks. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Right. Well, you never know, you could have found your instrument. Maybe I'll be the family band off to roll.

Starting point is 00:51:20 Maybe I'll be the family band off to roll. There are your songs, Angela. There's your instruments, okay? Are you gonna high-medium or low? What are you going? I'm gonna go medium. Go medium, it's a good call. Oh, you ready?

Starting point is 00:51:30 Yeah, there we go. So, Tom Perry, what songs, is Angela Bars performing, your 90 seconds starts now? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Don't be distracted by the aspirat, as it moves off the red nose right there. Ah, alright, okay, I've got it, I've got it, alright, okay. No. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'll try the next one. Wait, those weren't two different ones. No. No. Oh, the kick went for a side.

Starting point is 00:52:34 No. I can hear props dying. Oh, the hip. Oh, the hip. Oh, the hip. Keep going, boys. I don't want that. Yeah, you've got time.

Starting point is 00:52:57 Silent night. No. No. No. Oh, the hip. God save my gracious king. Oh, that's the time I'm afraid. Oh, that was good. I hear it.

Starting point is 00:53:23 You got it. I got it. Yeah. Come on, Clark afraid. I hear it. I got it. I got it. Yeah. Come on, Clarkie, I need this. White Christmas. Yes! So, Clarkie, you get the points there. I didn't even try the other one. I didn't get to it. Perry, you get it.

Starting point is 00:53:39 So, what was the first one? Because I wish she could be Christmas every day. It was really hard. I'm hearing that. I don it could be Christmas every day. Yeah. It was really hard. I'm hearing that. I don't. White Christmas, yes. Part of the Herald Angel's saying, No.

Starting point is 00:53:52 Oh! Oh, I should have done that one! That was so good. I've got, go on, go on, pay. What was that? Walking in a winter. It was walking in winter like that, you know. Oh, I thought I had a slave. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:54:06 I'm in the generous way. I'll give you the point for that. What am I going to give? Angela for performance. This is tricky and I don't. I will accept pity points. Yeah, it's going to have to be. I think I'm going to give you... Six and a half out of ten! Six and a half out of ten! Oh, it's awesome! Clarke!

Starting point is 00:54:27 Clarke, we're closing. We're closing the round with you there. Is your instrument there? Are your songs, Ellis? Ellis is back on it. LAUGHTER Second bite of the cherry. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Okay, what are you going to go for? High medium low what you going for? I'm going to go for my Nando's medium. I'm not going to. Ah!

Starting point is 00:54:47 Lemon? Ah! Erm... Lemon in there. So, next. You got it? You got it, Clarkie? It's not easy. Not easy at all, no.

Starting point is 00:55:02 And it goes high when you think it'd go low. No, no, it doesn't do that. LAUGHTER That explains a lot. That explains a lot. That's why I was shit at playing cards, right? Another absolutely gorgeous wrap. I'll tell you what, there's a very, very fun, outdated reference bingo game we could play on this, on this podcast.

Starting point is 00:55:29 If it was a drinking game, you'd all be dead. Clarky, you've got 90 seconds, Ellen, you've also got the same 90 seconds to recognise four songs that Clarky's about to play starting now. Oh, it's not good. Let me do that one again. Christmas wrapping by the way, Traces. No. Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day, but it was it. No, that's what I was trying to move on from that one, because that was a...

Starting point is 00:56:10 Okay. Okay, wait, let me go again. That was good guys, that was good, that was really good, that's Christmas. Oh, fuck it Wonder Star of Lights, Star of L'Oreal Universe. Whoa! Westwood's leading still proceed, Guide us to thy perfect... Oh, it's nothing! It was in French! What is it?

Starting point is 00:57:42 I said nothing, it was in French! What is it? Ellis, Ellis, I'm... you time it up, any idea? Star of Wonder. It's not called that. Tom and Angela, would you like to steal the point? We three kings. We three kings of Oriental. Of course it was.

Starting point is 00:58:01 Trader. And... It's that teres chant, isn't it? We three kings of orientar, you're shit, and you know you are. I don't know. Clark, in the first one you were trying to play, give us a little bit more of it and tell us, oh yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:17 If you squeeze the butter, it's made. You're not squeezing the butter. Sorry, yeah. OK. OK. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Why. Oh no, what Christmas is here? You know what, I'm going to give you the point there as well because you're so far behind. So what are we going to give Clark you?

Starting point is 00:58:40 I mean, it'll be Charlie's Doc to give him the full ten. That was fantastic. Oh, you're lucky. 10 points. APPLAUSE Lucky. Lucky, Jimmy a favour. Pass that down to producer Emma,

Starting point is 00:58:53 because I'd love to hear a little, a top of a tone breakdown as you reveal the scores. Here we go. So what has that done to the scores at the end of that round? I'm supposed to do a song in particular or just keep your head. Just wake up, I am alive. Do what's on the monitor. Live, babe.

Starting point is 00:59:10 Bandaid. It's on the amp. I have 20 A. This is great stuff, man. Ben and Alice are 22. LAUGHTER BANANALISAR 20-2! Oh! APPLAUSE

Starting point is 00:59:28 No, good job. Yeah. And now, just final thing, could you just smash it? LAUGHTER You just smash it on the ground, so you can never do that again. Now, if you are anything like me, then Christmas for you is all about one thing extended legal battles. It's time to enter the festive quarter beat brother yes indeed his beef brothers were each week we ask our panelists to sort out a flat share based beef and today's one comes from Owen, who is there in the audience.

Starting point is 01:00:05 Owen, are you there? Hello. Hello, Owen. Owen writes, my wife's family don't have a nominated present-hander outer. What? And even don't put all gifts under the tree before Christmas morning. This, this lead-tack chill out, guys. It's alright. It's in the hands of the beef brothers now, we will solve this. Sort of. This leads to chaos. Please argue for organized fun as the ex-miss spirit dictates. Okay, so Tom and Angela, you are on Owen's side. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 01:00:39 Ben and Ellis, you are on the side of, I guess, his wife's family. Now Owen is your wife here? No, she's not. Any of her family? No. That was a long shot. I'm going to be with. So it's anyone got any questions they would like to ask Owen?

Starting point is 01:00:57 A designated present-giver out of it. Yeah, I've never heard of that before. Talk was through it. So it's just like, in my family, there was all the presents running in the tree, and then probably dad sat, and he would then go, right, here's your present, and you'd open that. OK, the Patriarch.

Starting point is 01:01:14 Yeah. Can I just say, we are here to Christmas Santa Slay the Patriarch. On my side, guys, remember? Yes. Oh! Woo! The depends rest.

Starting point is 01:01:36 Defence wise, you get what you pay for. I mean, I absolutely love that, by the way. Thank you so much. More attitude, please, I would. I'll keep it coming, mate. Right. Any other questions for Owen? So the dad sits and hands out the present. It's not for me, dad.

Starting point is 01:01:53 It's just in the suns first. It's in the suns first. He was too brother, so in that situation, yeah. But in any, it can be anyone, but he was that, basically, they don't put the presents under the tree. So then we'll be sat. And suddenly, their any, in community, but it was that I basically, they don't put the presents under the tree, so then we'll be sat, and suddenly, their dad will just go, I'll just go get the presents out of the drawer,

Starting point is 01:02:09 and now it'll just go to a drawer, bring out a box. I think of the drawer. Oh, yeah, they just, yeah, they're all there. They're all there. You're not the Christmas drawer? So, what, just do I ask, I'll wait, so we're back, so once your dad's handed out the presents to all the sons,

Starting point is 01:02:21 at what point do you let them, what point do you let them out the shed? LAUGHTER When she's cooked out the present to all the sons. At what point do you let him out? What point do you let him out the shed? LAUGHTER When she's cooked, the target! LAUGHTER Mmm, nothing better than a shed target. LAUGHTER Shed smoked turkey. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 01:02:36 Oh, Ian, I've all dis everyone in your family. Talk us through, I've ever had. I'm talking every memory. Yeah, I've been on this off you go. I remember talking every minute. Yeah. I'll be the youngest off you go. Going back a thousand years. So at the moment, if we go to her parents, it's myself, my wife, my three children, and then her mum and dad, and probably her brother.

Starting point is 01:02:56 I will do the children out of interest. Five months, eight and eleven. Okay, so all boys? All boys? Yeah. All girls. Oh! That's why you're so pissed off.

Starting point is 01:03:10 So five men's obviously you can discount the five men filled baby, but the other two... Not, I mean... All right, King Herod. And when are you want paraging help? So you want a little bit of order for the two youngest members of the family, because otherwise it's just Anarchy and it's just, yeah, they're just, presence is coming out of nowhere and then suddenly they'll be busy doing their presence and we're sort of half watching and then it's like, mum just goes, oh, give dad his presence now and it's just a random nature of no one's watching each other watch over in presence. I suppose we're like, I've got limited presence at this point so I don't just want to pile a presence, I want them eaked out to me to make the experience last longer.

Starting point is 01:04:01 I'm, so we're arguing against what Owen wants, aren't we? Yeah, you're arguing against what Owen wants. You're arguing for the, the current kind. Unless you want to... I'm a swap. Oh, and if you consider smoking to herb... That's just bloody chilling out for crying out loud. Flay that back, how are you going to hand it to him? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:31 We've got a designated dodgy pass. He's got to go to the left hand side, guys. Just cheer, oh man, he's Christmas. Has it ever gone wrong at your wife's house? Has anyone got the wrong present or anything like that? I'm trying to help you here. No, they've not got the wrong present, it's just in the wrong order. You're making this really hard.

Starting point is 01:04:59 What's it been the wrong order, man? You've got to go small presents to big presents. What? What? If you open your fucking bike first, then you're not going to be happy with the selection box from Auntie Caris. You're going to go up the selection box first, basketball, lovely. Thank you, Auntie Joy. Then you go up. Oh yeah, hello. Big remote control car.

Starting point is 01:05:20 And what's this? It's a bike, best Christmas ever. I don't know if anyone's ever said this to you before, Tom, but the size doesn't matter. Yeah. I hear that all the time, actually. Sometimes the good present is in the small box. No, but come on, you want to finish on the bike, right? No, no, no. You see.

Starting point is 01:05:39 LAUGHTER Right, lands. LAUGHTER Alright, Lance. It's boxing day. Can we buy a new standoff for this place? Oh, absolutely not. You start on the bike. You start on the bike? No, you've got to save the best for last. I'm going to have to have it.

Starting point is 01:06:06 Oh, there needs to be some good adus. Listen, on off-men, you think, fucking love bike bikes. And then a 3pm, you, by that point, it's bloody chocolate coins, isn't it? Again, more recycle gear from last night. Ellis, if you've got to play it a food, just because you're happy enough, menu. Yeah. If you've got a plate of food and you've got a steak, chips and peas, which do you eat for? Bolognese, famously, likes bolognese.

Starting point is 01:06:34 He grises the steak up. I go, er, steak first. You're fucking side-backed. Then chips. No, no, no. Then nutritional. Please. You're not leaving the steak to last, it get so cold. It's the best bit.

Starting point is 01:06:46 You've got to get it. You have to stay, and then it's just sad. 6.50 AM, it's bike. Straight on to bike. Straight on to bike. And then down to tennis racket. Yeah. Bloody hell.

Starting point is 01:06:58 You've got a high quality Christmas down on it. Very sporty family. Seven o'clock on the treadmill. Just part of that routine. I always forgot your dad's joke with the body coach. You want some? You've got to learn it.

Starting point is 01:07:14 Do you want to come home for Christmas? Open your mid-day palatine. Can I talk to you about you've got kids, you need to thank you letters and cards, I presume? Yeah, absolutely. So there has to be some kind of record about who's given what? So that's normally done in a panic by my wife at about seven o'clock where she'll then do the generation gay with me and say, what presents did they open, who were they from, and I'm at this point going, I'm high as a kite, I don't know. Yeah. Because you've been smoking.

Starting point is 01:07:49 So you just got her. So what you're after is at least a semblance of order with the presence giving so you can know who gave what, so you can thank them accordingly, and you can build to a climax on the bike. That's what we're getting at, isn't it? Yeah, I do say that as our case. Thanks, I think.

Starting point is 01:08:09 I'll tell you now, that won't be anything like what he says. We're in a chicken fucked and dark. That's what that rindy is on a pig. That is just making, whoa, whoa! Keep that pound of ideas on a pig! That is just making one! One! Keep that powder dry, my friends! LAUGHTER That is the most cogent Thomas ever been in a beef brunner. I've ever heard of his fantastic.

Starting point is 01:08:33 Right, OK, so hopefully that is enough information for our teams to make their cases. So without further ado, I've been called upon Angela Barnes to begin the case for the prosecution. Angela, you have a minute. Yeah. OK. I think I've nailed the crux of this case. I think what we are dealing with here

Starting point is 01:08:50 is a disorganized crime. And thought that deserved more, no mind? Yeah. And I'm with you. Because fun can only really be fun if it's organized. And I think this very podcast proves that point. Thank you, Angela. What would the world be if it was just chaos?

Starting point is 01:09:12 There's enough chaos in the world, there's enough, but when you can bring order you should bring it, right? I think that fun is more fun when everyone knows what their role is and as anyone who's played a board game with me will testify and if you don't follow that logic I will read the rules Mae'r yw'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysgwch i'n gweithio'r ysg The law of this fine country, there are things that should be organized and things that shouldn't be organized. Fun should be organized. Your work load should be organized. Your thought should be organized. And the only thing that shouldn't be organized is religion. I rest my case. An absolute beautiful case put forward there by Angela Barnes, but Ellis, what are

Starting point is 01:10:08 you going to say to open the case for the defence? You've got a minute starting now. For crying out loud, think about all the grit as Christmas is. It's smoking spliffs with your family. It's turning up at the beach man with your with your fat willies tees you on, surfing, catching away from to true surfers, do they never turn their backs on the sea? You're trying to bloody build, you're trying to push me down with all of your order, and the key in chaos is where the fun begins. All right, fine, I don't know who got the bloody Welsh language scrubble. It's file just...

Starting point is 01:10:49 I'll send a text message to all of the aunties and uncles because you just give generic thanks. She said, thanks for the present. The och. We deal from vows. We all love to equally man. Just chill. Just chill out

Starting point is 01:11:06 Get on the pipe and just This this obsession with all to it bleaks me out it bums me out That's all I want I want to be living room with my loved ones. We're just trying to share it We're chewing the breeze we're we're writing riffs on Christmas Day, don't we, doing it? We just improvise it, yeah? I don't know. Did you... Did you...

Starting point is 01:11:36 I'm not feet old, out of open gifts. We're all adults. I open it whenever you want, okay? I might have some turkey now, or I give you a shit. And then I'll have porridge, and then I'll have milk tray. I do know what, I might have a nap, I might have a one-carrow keg, for a kick Christmas day. Not on the bike though. Did Ellie suggest you were writing riffs? Because that's the other one.

Starting point is 01:11:59 Yeah, we just... Right, we have some riffs, baby. Is that everything you'd like to say? We just... Right, we have some rules. We have some rules, we have some rules. Is that everything you'd like to say? I'm very well, I've got a post... I didn't want to... I don't want to press you with the order there by stopping you, but you spoke for two minutes, so... Can we stick to time, please?

Starting point is 01:12:22 Yeah, you've got to do it. Otherwise, there's absolute chaos,. Otherwise there's absolute chaos guys. There's absolute chaos. A minute means a minute in this round. So Owen, you've heard two fantastic arguments from one for me at the side. How do you think it's going so far? I'm more confident this year than last year. Do we do you last year?

Starting point is 01:12:42 I am the balloon guy from last year. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Because you still let me thought you quit, mate. Got a lot of them showing up here. But if you... Yeah. So you're also... Sort of that, brother. Sort of. Sort of sound, brother. Right.

Starting point is 01:13:14 Er... Sorry, guys. That's my kind of order, putting in an order. That I was saying. So, Tom, you're going to conclude the case for the prosecute. Yes. Are you going to do it as yourself? I'm going to do it in the style of a deep-south defence lawyer from John Christian Novel, Mr. Fanchill Standin.

Starting point is 01:13:32 Oh. Merry Christmas, Mr. Standin. Pazidee and providing your minutes, should you need it against now? Ladies and gentlemen, after jury, seasons greeting, seal, and I really mean that now. A lot of damn damn big lawyers from the city of the head, probably still call it wintertime. Around here, it be Christmas and always will be.

Starting point is 01:13:59 Or as I say, happy birthday, J.J.'s you. Oh, Captain, my captain? I'll follow that baby into the sea. Then the Aces types there from the big city now with them wooden trees that you can buy from the shop. You're right, mate. Yeah. Do you want a second second, Brad? A minute, it's away from a car and rear. It's Christmas.

Starting point is 01:14:32 Talking to that damn balloon guy over there, they're talking about the organization. Now, you're probably remember the ULTIDE bird race. Year upon year. organization now y'all probably remember the you tired bird race Year upon year bring your bird fastest wins No rules there bring your bird hell and now all against a crow Y'all picture that for a minute. You're all probably remember the time the father... Staaaaaang!

Starting point is 01:15:11 Fama... Fama Stank came back... From the market... Can I just check the name of that farmer for us? For us to know if it please He tries to run that bird race himself. There are no further questions. Very, very good panning argument there for me. Do you ever get people to come to this that haven't heard the podcast? Yes, I've made it. It's a long night for a sat-over.

Starting point is 01:16:25 Yeah. LAUGHTER Merry Christmas, mate. So, Karky. Hello. You're concluding the case for the defence. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:38 You've got a minute. Don't need it. No. No. OK. You've got a minute, and it begins right now. Listen. OK. You've got a minute, and it begins right now. Listen. OK. Christmas is Christmas.

Starting point is 01:16:50 Oh, no. I'm going to be saying it. Christmas is chaos. And that's why we love it. You can't organize Christmas. It's like trying to organize the wind. It's like trying to organize laughter. It's like trying to organize my. It's like trying to organize my tax.

Starting point is 01:17:06 It's impossible guys. Can't be done. You know, I actually, back in the day, I used to hand out presents. And then I started smoking a pipe. I'd put on a bit of weight. And a weirdly I started sitting in one's throat. So there's a dark road man, you don't want to go down there. So I'd say just, you know, can't let me be happy if you come. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 01:17:50 Beautiful. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE Gold, frankincense and spice. LAUGHTER Now I can't make the decision myself as I don't want to get it wrong and end up with a pooping log's naughty list. So instead I call upon a live Phoenix audience. So if you think Owen

Starting point is 01:18:10 and therefore Angela and Fansure is in the right, I would like you to applaud now. Yeah! Pretty vocal, pretty vocal. But if you think Ellison Ben made the best case and Owens family is right, please applaud now. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They're high out there, my ins. Absolutely stoned off the Mary Jane shipmifters. So big facts in Mary Christmas to all of you in everybody. Oh, and see you next year.

Starting point is 01:18:48 Oh! How do you see your next year, Ron? LAUGHTER Yeah. White sex. LAUGHTER I don't listen to it yet. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 01:19:01 So I'm just waiting for the gaps to talk. LAUGHTER And if it's been said already that's how it be in its kinds. So, Owen, how do you feel about the results? It's another defeat. Sorry mate. Sorry. I had to feel about the result. Owen. LAUGHTER Folks, now it's time and it really is time to jingle all the way and a little bit further than that as we hear the ever long Quick Fire Round jingle! This is the quick fire round. It's the round that goes really quick, which is why it's always so amusing that it has a long introduction

Starting point is 01:20:09 It has a long introduction Especially at this time of year You know the drill It's time for the 12 days Let's have a quick recap on what they are On the first day of Crow in a bull On the second day to turtles And on the third day three grouse On the fourth day four sad sooner

Starting point is 01:20:52 And on the five days sing it with me five toes Obsettin' the arattling eggs And on the seventh day some golf On the eighth day it's a hat on top of a turban engine And on the ninth day it is a car That's right I bought you a car Like it next to the tub of engine Is that a rat laying an egg? On the ninth day it was the holy day we took a day off

Starting point is 01:21:47 And then on the tenth day we wanked in the house of Lord and then the 11th day I'm still sick of the turbid engine I murdered a tadpole Don't worry, I brought it back to life And on the twelfth day I bought you a drum bit And twelve drumpitters who all fought over one drum bit It was a fight to the death Oh, It sounded horrible.

Starting point is 01:22:27 At least I think those are the twelve days. I always struggle to remember them. Anyway, enough from me, I'll hand you over to the professional. Here it is, It's the quick fire round the Christmas quick fire Tom see you next year Tom, see you next year. I see you, mate. An amazing, an amazing jingle there,

Starting point is 01:23:08 and it made an already incredibly confusing round, more confusing. Yes, it is indeed the annual Flatslam 12 Days of Christmas! And on piano tonight, making feel very welcome. It's our very own Welsh horse-gull on a stick. Please welcome producer Gwen. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! The producer Gwen on the ones and twos. They add threes and fours, yeah?

Starting point is 01:23:35 That's like 50 of them. Anyway, so the way this works, folks, as always, all of the answers have, say it loud, say it proud, a... THEY CONFER ..a vague assonance with the lyrics to the classic Christmas song. If you think you have the right answer, shout out your first name. Ben and Ellis, let's hear those. Ben Ellis. Lovely stuff. Tom and Angela. Angela. Tom, you ready to play? Here we go. The first one is a partridge in a pear tree. Here we go the first one is a partridge in a pear tree

Starting point is 01:24:14 Please tell me the surnames of Anton's deck Alice oh Oh, Alice. Oh, Alice, gone. MacPotlin and Donald Lee. It's good. It's good. Everybody! MacPotlin and Donald Lee. It's good to know. OK. Joe, the English cricketer can get you pregnant with a cuddle.

Starting point is 01:24:42 I'll do it one more time. Joe, the English cricketer can get you pregnant with a cuddle What do you do? And he wants you all to know about it Hang on to it brother hang on to it. Okay Tom Tom Roots fertile hugs is correct. It's fertile, hot, apacarlin' and all the lean. Three French ends.

Starting point is 01:25:16 And I'm gonna tell you now, it's early in the round to be saying this, but this one is really hard. We've done this 12 times. So they do get harder every year. Here we go. Okay, just really listen it. Try to think about what might be going through. Anyway, yes, here we go. Three French ends, here we go.

Starting point is 01:25:42 Three French ends here we go three French ends before she met dawn. This is what you'd call miss Saunders Be for she met dawn. This is what you'd call miss Saunders Anybody from the panel gonna get it before the audience? So close! I've got one thing missing. Okay, go, let's see, wait a minute, let's add your... Agile, is nay something, Jens? Oh, free free thanks! A point to the audience is of course, free free Jens!

Starting point is 01:26:21 Oh, I saw it! Oh For calling birds For calling birds The brown plasticine man own several kitchen straining items go again go again the brown glass the scene man owns several kitchen straining items Angela Angela math carlanders Revexion Does crevations root for talent and a ball in and on a beat? I got that and I thought there's no fucking way They're going with Morph's colander

Starting point is 01:27:15 You've got to keep on compifting, man Flame up a dude, brother, flame up a dude Okay, and it feels strong about this one I think you're going to get this one This is the biggie guys that's right smash it up everyone ready to kick off for number five this is the one this is this is the biggie it's five gold rings He's the bloke who does the voice of love Island on TV Oh yeah! It's sterling

Starting point is 01:27:55 Walls calling those three fresh genues Looms fared off us And a guy with a belly Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, he's done a proper job. Of course, you're wondering, did we say to him, oh, by the way, we're doing this. You're actually coming down. Of course, we did. Left on red currently, but he's... I just... It's five past ten. He could show up, he could show up any bit, you know. He might be doing off-men, you know.

Starting point is 01:28:30 LAUGHTER Here we go, six keys are laying. MUSIC Joe the body coaches oil is squirting everywhere. LAUGHTER Joe the body coaches squirrel is squirting everywhere Angela wicks grisa spray Seven swans are swimming. Tell Mr McDonald the news reader, the Ellis's favourite team are in the lead.

Starting point is 01:29:22 Agina! Oh baby! Trevor Swansea winning. It's correct! Oh! Oh, Julya! Whoever Swansea is winning, which Greece is playing in Italy. More calendars,

Starting point is 01:29:44 Green French, I've got real confidence in you guys, Ben and Alice, I think you've got a steal here. Great. Oh, bouncy! Here we go. This is your thing. Yeah, but I'm doing all this singing. I have fucked harvest. This is eight mates of milking.

Starting point is 01:30:17 We're going for it. Eight mates of milking. Clarkson and Hammons Mates reassembling a house Brick by brick. Clarkson and Hammons mate, reassembling a house brick by brick Clarkson and Hammons mate, reassembling a house brick by brick Actually, let's hear it James Maywee building

Starting point is 01:30:36 This is a drowty, G.A. expert, re-building Exist those rebuilding drivers, what's his winning? With Jesus' frame in selling More time and death's free, rich and loose, her task And a part of the enemy Nine ladies dancing Nine, just the nine, just the nine of them Just the 9 ladies can someone locate the god of the underworlds fancy backless Hoover We are the wrong Very strong from the audience go tell us tell us tell us proud It's correct! Nice!

Starting point is 01:31:26 Find Hades Dice and James play Rebuilding, Clever, Swant to swing Wind to freezes Rain with Selling Moves calling Dirt's three-fretched

Starting point is 01:31:44 Degrueds, We're tall hearts Abergwali and Moves calling to the free French day Roots where tall huts Abergwali and all I need Ten loads of leaping Right, ten Ten Ten Moves, leaping Okay, if you lost

Starting point is 01:31:58 I don't mind it Mr. Rest of from nine inch nails And Mr. Alexander Arnold's cheese That comes with new pan and do van is leaking through its packaging If this is right this is a standing evasion Trent's boss and leaking I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's not leaking. I'm gonna, I'm gonna let the team steal because it's only fair that they say something during this round.

Starting point is 01:32:40 Okay, here we go. What do you think it might be? Mr. Rest of the Nightish Nails and Mr. Alexander Arnold's cheese that comes with Dupan and Dupan is leaking through its packaging? Trent Sports and CP. It's great! Oh! So great! It's cool. It's amazing. I hate these dice and games. But I love you, it's good. The other sports is waiting on which

Starting point is 01:33:16 Greece is ready for the evening. Most common girls prefer each day. The ring, most calling does refrains, Yeah, roots, mental hugs, And the calling does not allow me. Do they give bifters to podcasts? A little bit, but it was biping. Yeah. Just put a pin in that, I will come back to it.

Starting point is 01:33:46 You're all thinking. Yeah, Matthew just said it actually. See you next year. Murs Bravaman expires while using the plane to spell out a message. Murs Bravaman expires while using a plane to spell out a message. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Anyway, Alice, you got it right.

Starting point is 01:34:12 I think Alice is just a hint of your answer. But when he doesn't get it right, you could have gone. So, Alice is dying. No. It's what crucial component you're missing there. I'll get, I'm just, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm dying. No, listen, guys, this is what crucial component you're missing there. Oh, I'm just... Yeah, I'm just... It's all right.

Starting point is 01:34:28 Who bit is that? I can't... Let me just keep it. What's more alert, you've won the show. Now this... Now, let me... All right, let's just run down the clock, shall we? And it's more of a victory procession, though, is it?

Starting point is 01:34:44 Have a little festive fun. OK, you can get this, mate. You can get this. So you've got Bravaman. Most Bravaman expires whilst using a plane to spell out a message. Mad. 11 Piper's piping.

Starting point is 01:34:58 Mad, you forgot about the bit where the plane spells. Yeah. I just ignored that. You just tried to tweak it. I thought that's one of those red herrings this round is famous for. Wait, hang on a second. Suella's red herring doesn't work out. Any idea what it is?

Starting point is 01:35:14 Ellis. Suella's death in sky writing. Suella's blood. You're so close. I'm scared. Swela's death in sky writing You're so close I'm scared to give you a fancy what No one Angela You're a nice guy right to try and toss and see me By an eighties dance and eights By a six every pair of thorns he's ready His race is right in seven Bulls call in that three French James Roots But I'll hug and the Barley and Connerley.

Starting point is 01:36:08 It's the final one, guys, don't you think? No! No! It's two, 24 days a Christmas. Really? Yeah, yeah. See you next year. Really go, Frick, guys. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:36:19 The multi-award winning Scottish actor who recently hosted the American version of the Traders is living up to his name by jizzing Angela Angela is it 12 carmas coming Angela is it 12 carmas coming Oh no I'm afraid not I'm afraid not my bad get gone It won't be 12 islands coming no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So I don't know what you're not even. Alan Cummings Cummings. It's Christmas! Why don't you have time, guys? Alan Cummings Cummings, Sarah,

Starting point is 01:37:10 I'm writing Christmas and David, I believe he's got his new place. He's rebuilding Christmas. He's rebuilding Christmas. He's his friend. It's Sunday. The greatest victory is I am Oh, calling those free, ready, jazz, blues, bells, all must

Starting point is 01:37:34 And the light of dawn I believe My Christmas, Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas everybody! Oh! Give yourselves a good round of applause, that was amazing! Incredibly, that felt like more of a cult than off menu. So that is the end of the festive 12 days of Christmas. Quick fire round for yet another year. So before we find out, quick fire round, or by the way guys.

Starting point is 01:38:20 Didn't it speed by? So before we find out the final scores, Angela, if you've got anything to plug in, I heard you're on a podcast recently. When's it coming out? Yeah, just, no, not really. Okay, fair enough, Angela. I'm on tour.

Starting point is 01:38:39 Oh, fantastic. Yeah, and tickets are really available. Until the end of November and also I've got this goes out crucially this is a Christmas actually. Oh, I'm so sorry. The only reason to do the game. I am not for this to be like that. Because I'll level with you. I am not here for the fee. I'll be your tour again in 2025. I have a podcast. Listen to that if you like.

Starting point is 01:39:18 Let's go with our history. There we go. Well, thanks to all of you guys here tonight for watching. As always, check out our Patreon, Patreon.com, before we slash Pappy's Flat Share. Our Patreon subscription makes a fantastic Christmas gift. Wow! For yourself, a loved one, or a total stranger who looks like they just need cheering up. So don't forget to give us a Christmas gift by liking, subscribing, rating and reviewing

Starting point is 01:39:42 our podcast or recommending it to all your festive friends. Finally, a massive thank you to everyone who has been to the podcast throughout the year. Give yourselves a round of applause, guys. We love you all. Merry Christmas. Producer Emma. The moment of truth. We're all on absolute tend to hooks over here. What's in the Christmas stocking for both our teams this year? What are the final scores? Well, the audience got two points. CHEERING

Starting point is 01:40:11 Congratulations. And you know what, gentlemen, guys, does it Christmas we're going to double that? LAUGHTER Four points. Four? Four points. Yeah. LAUGHTER

Starting point is 01:40:25 In an Alice, they scored some points. Yay! 26 of them. 20? And because of Christmas we're halving that. 26 points here. Tom and Angela. Yes. 35.

Starting point is 01:40:41 So Ben and Alice are originally 17. She's won Tom and Angela, including me and a race themselves into quite a good scene of our own It's not just Santa and Alan who'll be coming tonight. It's all about Thanks to our guest Angela Barnes and Emma's James We've been puppies soon next year on The best! To all our guests, grab 20-20 green and you are home for this thing. Candidstrasher standout is a secret new subject, by gas and the internet. Oh, oh, oh, cheers everyone. Cheers.

Starting point is 01:41:30 Cheers. Cheers. And there we, whoa, ho, ho, that was great. Oh, wait, wait. Can you say that was great, wasn't it? You took it back, there we were, a hoed. This goes, that was really great. That was great.'t it you took about there we were hoed this goes that was truly great That was great

Starting point is 01:41:47 I can die happy now That's good old age Yeah, what treat and Merry Christmas listen adeers and for all of you that have listened throughout the years Thank you for your support. Thank you for your ear canals And for all the lovely things you say when we get to meet up, it's been a real treat this year and we're looking forward to 2024.

Starting point is 01:42:12 Yeah. Tom's wrapping up the year as if there aren't two more episodes to go. So you can't. So you can't. So you can't. So you can't. So you can't.

Starting point is 01:42:21 Tom, you can't clock off this early. When we record this, it's still the fourth of December, okay? Listen, listen, have a great Easter. We hope those winter months aren't too bad, and spring's great, we hope spring's great, and we'll see you in the summer. Thanks for listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm outta here.

Starting point is 01:42:38 Baaaay! Into the blimp. Fire up the blimp. A very quick reminder, folks folks of those live shows again. Monday, 29th January, Joe Wilkinson and Sue's Kempner, absolute legends. Tuesday, the 30th January, that is Carrie Adloy and Kima Bob again, legends again, all at the Phoenix and Cavingish Square. Get yourself along to papyscomedy.com forward slash live for tickets to both those shows individually and together and patreon.com forward slash papys flat share to get a discount code or get your money off all of those various permutations of tickets.

Starting point is 01:43:15 Amazing. You got your Christmas presents yet? Er, yeah, pretty much all of them. Whoa! Yeah, been very organised. Guys, you know what you're getting? From me, you're getting two tickets to see Joe Wilkinson's whose campner and Karen Lloyd and Keema Bob. What are those dates just for my diary? 29th, yes, and 30th of January. And I'm also getting you both a subscription to the

Starting point is 01:43:39 Pappy's Patriot. Because it really is not my cup of tea. It's a great gift. It's a very generous gift. It is. It's a gorgeous gift. All right, well, enjoy the first couple of weeks of Christmas and we'll see you in a one. We'll see you next week. Next week, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll, today's episode is over. I have another run at that. Today's episode is over, for James Bay.

Starting point is 01:44:07 Emma Corsham. Corsham. C-T-E-W-F-O-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H Choo Ho Ho everyone! Bye! Bye! It's non-stop bonkers brilliance. I love that. Poor things. It's like theaters, December 15th.

Pappy's Flatshare - Xmas Slamdown w/ Elis James & Angela Barnes (Arrange the Nativity Scene) S12E47

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