Pardon My Take - 2X Super Bowl Champion Chris Long And Bus Driver Larry

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

We're on the road to the Super Bowl in Atlanta with a stop in Philly and Virginia (2:27 - 6:49). The Browns were somehow more of a dumpster fire than previously though and had a porn problem in their office (6:49 -16:50). Roger Goodell hasn't answered the Saints fans yet (16:50 - 22:03). 2X Super Bowl Champion and 2X PMT Lib of the year Chris Long joins the show to talk about his 2 former teams in the Super Bowl, why Tom Brady stays dominant, the double doink, playing against his brother, and the Carson Wentz locker room buzz (22:03 - 65:05). Segments include Respect The Biz Max Kellerman vs Derek Carr, Stay Classy Jamal Adams, James HardOn, Embrace Debate Baseball HoF, and Road Rules with Larry the Bus DriveryYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we are on the road to Atlanta Super Bowl 53-4. I don't do Roman numerals, they're just letters that are lying to you pretending to be math. Fuck the NFL for doing that, I know it makes it seem like it's more important, but really, that's too much. Give us the numbers.

At least switch it up before you get to 69, just so that we can get the visual. Right, just so we can get the visual. The 50 was cool, but everything else, it's too hard to figure out. We are on the road to Atlanta, to the Super Bowl. We are taping this from a random parking lot in the middle of Virginia, or West Virginia, I do not know. It's Virginia. We have a great show.

We have Chris Long on the show, on the bus, on the Devour bus. We went to Philly, we talked to him. We also have a very special wrinkle in that interview with the debut of our friend, Kate, who did three minutes of stand up for Chris Long. It was a Chris Long roast to his face. We also have some Respect the Biz, Stay Classy, and a very special guest. At the end of the entire episode, it is our bus driver, Larry, who is quite the character. How about that?

His name is Larry. Larry. He might be Larry incarnated. Probably not, though. We're going to find out. He's using every bit. Guess what? We're going to find out.

We'll get to him. Before we do all of that, we are on the Devour bus, and guess what? We've been eating Devour, and we love it. This episode is brought to you by Devour. Are you hungry right now? Do you have a craving? Only a spicy sausage slathered in a creamy pesto sauce can satisfy? Then we have something you'll absolutely enjoy, fork it.

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oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we're taking higher, you're listening to it on Friday, so yesterday was Sean McVeigh's birthday, they asked him at his press conference like how did you celebrate? His answer, I've never been a big birthday

guy. Nope, absolutely not. He's never been a big anything guy actually, me and him, you're five nine, you're never big anything guy. I think he's a little shorter than that, so are you. No, we're both five nine. We have Sean McVeigh, those are the moments when Sean McVeigh, I wanna just shake him and be like hey man, like you're 32, 33, you don't have to pretend that you've never celebrated a birthday. Right. Like it wasn't that long ago that you were a college kid, like you, come on, just be honest with me for a second and also give me my Superbowl Suite that you promised us. Yes, you did promise us that, I think it's on its way, he's gonna do the right thing. So we also had a quote speaking

of football coaches or football guy quotes we had which is a segue into the biggest topic of the day. John Dorsey actually had a quote today saying, someone asked him what his workout and diet regimen is and he said, I'm addicted to football and that tells you that the Browns are in good hands because we had a story today, a bombshell, was it a bombshell story? As much as a bombshell as can be dropped on the Browns, that's like bombing Syria more right now. It's already pretty much torn down, but it was like an expose on the last like seven to eight years since Haslam bought the Browns. It was essentially, you thought the Browns were shitty. Well, guess how shitty they really were. Yes. That was the story and it went

into detail about Jimmy Haslam, the owner for the Browns, who a great businessman and he, all class, all class, all class. And he, he basically his time owning the Browns being probably the most wishy washy guy who also has an ego and thinks he's steering the ship correctly at all times and also desperately wants to be a football guy. He essentially sounded like a dumber version of Jerry Jones, which is a very mean thing to say. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. It's interesting because he came from the Steelers over to the Browns. He was a minority owner, not like, he's very white. He was a Caucasian owner who owned a minority share in the Steelers and he came over to the Browns. That's confusing. I was a Caucasian

Brown, but he came over there trying to bring the Steeler away, which is never fire a coach, never do anything. And he fucked it up immediately and thoroughly and repeatedly. And so every year he's got this speech that he gets up and he gives with his wife to the team being like, we're all about stability here on the Browns. And meanwhile, like another guy's out the door. So he went through GMs. He went through head coaches. He basically, every time someone said there was a moment where they voted on who should be the next head coach and it was five to one that it should be Sean McDermott, who's now coach of the Buffalo Bills. And

the one was Jimmy Haslam saying he wanted Hugh Jackson. They hired Hugh Jackson. Hugh Jackson got fired and said, get the fuck out of my office. That is a power move, by the way. Power move. So I agree with Hugh. Jimmy comes into his office and says, you've lost the team. You're fired. And then he goes, get the fuck out. I think you got to give him another week at that point. Yes. Yes. You know what? Like more teams should incorporate the fake firing into their motivational tactics. Yeah. Coaches do it to players all the time. They're like, I'm going to cut your ass. Hugh Freeze. Remember Hugh Freeze. He held the funeral for himself.

That's right. Chuck Pagano. And he basically got fired. Then he made Jim Ursay cry and then he got to stick around for another year. Now a Chicago Bears defensive coordinator who already dropped the standard is the standard. So you know the defense is a good hand. So back to the Browns. There were two remarkable parts of the story. The first one for me, was Jimmy Haslam sitting in meetings, eating hard-boiled eggs and throwing the shells on the ground while like conversing in the meeting and actively talking and listening. And then actually know there was a moment where they said he would eat hard-boiled eggs, he would actively participate and then occasionally fall asleep. Right. Which one is it? He was treating it

like a paleo version of Lone Star Steakhouse with the peanuts. We just throw it on the ground. He's very wishy-washy. That was a good term for it. So he's had like six direct reports. And so it's basically whoever talks to him last is the way that he makes his decisions. That's how it works. You want to be the last to talk to Jimmy and save your job. And Sashi Brown who we hired to basically blow the whole thing up, did all this incredible research like we're going to make an analytical team, talk to Paul D. Podesta, talk to Theo Epstein, all these guys who've done these great rebuilds and hired Sashi Brown and said, Sashi Brown said, I need four years. And then he fired them two years into it, which was so classic.

But the big story, the most hilarious, the most Browns thing ever. I'm going to read it directly because it needs to be read directly. Here it goes. The outside anger was felt inside the building. Marketing executives wanted employees to see how fans were engaging with the Browns on social media. So they projected the Browns feed onto a giant wall at the facility. It was like broadcasting talk radio over the entire building. And one day in particular, it was worse than that. One of the marketing staffers entered a search for hashtag DP, Dog Pound. The problem was that hashtag carried a few different meanings, one of which triggered an array of porn to be broadcast onto a wall for the entire office to see for more than

20 minutes until a tech employee killed the feed. That's the Browns. That is very quintessential Browns. Hashtag DP. I think we all know where that comes from. Hank. Hank, are you aware? Double penetration. There you go. Hank, you're a big porn guy. I actually didn't know until Hank told me. Next thing you know, we'll walk into our studio. Those should be double penetration. That was the funniest part of the story because it has nothing really to do with Haslam. It's just indicative of, that's what was happening to the Browns organization all the time except it was the Steelers and the Ravens.

I have a theory with organizations like this because the Cubs used to be kind of like this as well where when things go bad, they just snowball to a point where all the little things, no one would ever hear of this if it was any other organization, but when it's all the little things add up, you just have these comedy of errors that you can't get out of your own way. And it's like, this is a somewhat minor mistake, but because it's the Browns, it's put on a spotlight and like, oh yeah, they had a couple dicks in a few holes while people were just walking into the Browns facility one day. This is something I could absolutely see happening to the Redskins too. It's that type of organization.

And then that might happen somewhere else, but the story never gets out because the team is competent. Yeah, it was a classic when Ron Santo died and they had a bunch of kids sign a big card for him and then they found the card in the trash. They threw it out in the trash behind Wrigley and it was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? So you think that the Carolina Panthers with their hashtag keep pounding have an experience this exact same thing? Right? Because I'm sure they have. It just doesn't get out because they were in the Super Bowl. Keep pounding. That's some good shit. Or tighten up. Yeah. Tighten up probably happens

more often than not. But here's the good news. Lemon booty. Oh, yeah. Tub girl. Yeah. Tighten up. Here's some Kegels. Here's the good thing. Get your Kegels and girls. Yeah. Well, and guys, well, that was just a direct quote from Colorado. So the good news is here it is. Ready? Browns fans. You have Baker Mayfield and he's fucking awesome. So this is one of those stories that if you released it and it you did not have Baker Mayfield,

you'd read this as a Browns fan and be like, if you had, say, Josh Rosen, what the fuck? This continues. But I really do think Baker Mayfield and John Dorsey are the two guys that can change a culture and have people stop putting like really, really graphic porn on the wall when you walk into the Browns. Or at least get the smell out of it. Yes. Like just the smell of the porn. It's ironic because like Baker, you would get it if you want to bring in a Baker. What do they do? They cook a bunch of cookies and everything smells good no matter like if there's shit in the bathroom. The toilet of the Dunkin' Donuts always smells delicious. Right. Right.

So he'll cover up a lot of that shit. The other funny story in here was Hugh Jackson, the way that he went about that draft when they had the first overall pick and he really wanted Miles Garrett. So he taped up a bunch of pictures of Miles Garrett onto the outside of Jimmy Haslam's office, like the windows facing in so that Haslam had to look at pictures of Miles, like a seventh grade girl's locker covered with pictures of Corey Hame. And he was like, I want this guy. And then later on when they started to suck with the Sean Kaiser, he was like, why didn't we get Patrick Mahomes? Yeah. Oh, I wanted all these other guys. Yeah. And he also, there was a couple of moments

that were basically the movie from Draft Day. Yes. When they drafted Johnny Manziel all because Jimmy Haslam was standing with like a bunch of his family members and friends in the draft room, which a very Jerry Jones thing, like I said, a dumber Jerry Jones. And they drafted Johnny Manziel and Brian Hoyer was pissed. And it was like, this is, we're just, this is draft day. Yeah. And then, and then the great follow up was then the Texans offered the Browns a second round pick for Brian Hoyer. And that was just destiny. Like I don't understand Brian Hoyer should have been the starting quarterback for the Texans for years.

Right. They would have fit in perfectly. Yeah. They would have lost by only 10 on their Saturday afternoon game. It was a great story though. Go read it. It is very illuminating about the Browns. Jimmy Haslam is just, he's a funny looking guy because he's like old. He's got the white hair, but he's got an intense face. He's like Matt Flynn, General Flynn. If, if he mated with Arnold Palmer. Yes. It's like a just a cotton from King of the Hill with a better haircut. That's what he reminds me of. I was never a big King of the Hill guy. Yeah, he should have been. It's been fun. I'm sorry. He's dry humor. He's probably went over your head. I just never. No, I don't really like cartoons in

general. Really? Like SpongeBob. I love SpongeBob. No, I hate SpongeBob. All right. So that, it also was a great story because it basically gave us one more day before we get to Super Bowl week storylines because they're already trickling in, but this was like perfect. Here you go. This like, let's all joke about the Browns for a day and then we'll start Super Bowl next week. Yeah. Yeah. I was wrong about the bomb on series. It's more like if you dropped an atom bomb on Chernobyl like 10 years after the meltdown, you're just like destroying it. Bro. It's like, yeah, we knew it was where you were after. The trees already are glowing. Yeah. This fish, this fish has seven gills.

Yeah. I get it. This carnival ride. You ever look at the old abandoned picture to Chernobyl? Love it. Awesome. Love it. Awesome. I kind of want to, want to go live there. I'm pretty sure just Wolves Run Chernobyl now. Yeah. It was like one King Wolf with the loudest howl and the biggest squishiest tail. It's just like the monster wolf. You don't like wolves so. No, I love wolves. All right. The other thing we got to get to before we get to Chris Long. Where's Roger Goodell answering this lawsuit for Saints fans? Multiple lawsuits and congressional hearings being discussed. Yeah. There are actually Congress people being like we should subpoena Roger Goodell. I love when Congress gets involved

in sports. That's when you really know they got nothing to do. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There's nothing else going on there. Nothing, nothing important. Let's talk about a fucking passenger clearance flag. Yeah. Can I say something that's probably going to make Saints fans a little upset? Permission to go there granted. Okay. I feel like we, the better team won. Ooh. Yeah. I feel like it's fine. I'm not, I'd be a lot more, this is unjust if I didn't think the Rams kind of deserve to win that. Like, yeah, that call was terrible. And again, those, the Saints would have won the game if that call gets called, which it should get called a hundred times out of a hundred times. But I just like looking back

at that game more and more, the Saints or the Rams like played their ass off. They're down 13, nothing in the dome and they came back and they made some big stops. And I just, maybe it's not better team one, but they couldn't have been more equal in my mind. So I'm not feeling like it was this huge travesty and one team that really didn't deserve to get there, got there. I like that it happened to the Saints for one reason and that's because it continues that entire city's grudge against Roger Caddell. True. And they're not taking it well. True. I wouldn't expect them to. I mean, I wouldn't take it well if it happened to me. It was a blatantly missed call. But you've got like Chapa weighing in at city

council meetings now. Yeah. And Chapa has every right to be pissed because that cost some, probably several million dollars. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, if you're a Saints fan and I have no problem with Saints fans being still very upset, be upset forever. If I were a Saints fan, I would be the same way. I talked to a Saints fan the other day and they were like, you could tell that they had been reading all the bylaws because they're like, well, rule two states this and you know what? More power to you because I do the exact same thing. Like you got to take your anger out some way, read all the boring rules in the NFL, try to get justice. Unfortunately, time can't be turned back here and this is just how it's

going to be. Well, the thing is it can be turned back. Gidell can still demand that they, they play that one play over again. He does. I would be okay with them doing that one play over again if both teams had to run the exact same play. Ooh. So you know what you start, but you start up in the same, because like the safety or quarterback on the Rams was out of position. Yes. So he has to line up out of position again. Let's do it again. See what happens. Yes. I agree with that. I also would love for Roger Gidell to just start stopping games mid game being like stop everything like he's got the remote from click. Yeah. And you just stop it. That's, that's a slippery

slope. That's the solution. No, but I, I'm one of those people that I think would be hilarious if Roger Gidell had more power. Yes. Because he's so inept and way bad at what it was and what way in every way that I want. It's like a comedy of errors. I want to see more Roger Gidell screwing up in hilarious ways. Yeah. I want to see more of his wife's burner accounts. His wife has probably been on Twitter more active than Roger's been. Yeah. It's like one of those, was it, was the girl's name that flew to South Africa? Justine. And she got fired. Yeah. Has Gidell been allowed out of his room by his wife yet to comment on this? Because he is, he has clammed up and I don't, I mean, he does give

his state of the league address. Right. Next Friday be hilarious if they pulled a Nancy Pelosi and just didn't give him the venue. I would, I'd be cool if someone from the Times pick you and tried to filibuster it. Yeah. That'd be great. Do it. Just ask the question for like a hundred minutes long. Yeah. If you have any balls, you'll do it in New Orleans. Yeah. You know what? Yeah. I'm on New Orleans side. I like the, I like the on their side. Do you understand my point? Like the Rams and the Saints are, were equal enough that it doesn't feel as bad as it would have if it was like this team was so much better and the better team completely lost. Like they were equal enough. I shouldn't have

said the Rams were the better team, but they were equal teams. Yes. They were as equals. If they played 10 times, they would go five and five probably. I think that you're right. Yeah. It's still going to be a good team in the Super Bowl, but please New Orleans, like I'm on your side. If you want to push against Roger Gadel, keep that grudge going. I want every single bar and restaurant in New Orleans to have signs up saying like, we will not serve this man. Yes. Yes. Roger Gadel. If you just never can go back to New Orleans. There's no greater punishment that you could give me right now than to say like, we do not want PFT in New Orleans ever. Yeah. And ultimate. My favorite city in the country. Ultimately,

it just was a human error, which is a human error, but it really wasn't. Right. What is Roger Gadel supposed to do? Right. Complaining to Roger Gadel in this situation, like on a past interference. It can't do anything. It sucks. That's like calling a farmer that raised a cow that later got cooked like in a steak too overdone for a customer at a steak house. That would be something. Yeah. This farmer should pay. Why is he silent? That would be something. All right. Let's do our interview with Chris Long. So very fun interview coming up. Talk about going to the White House. Talk about both the double-doink and also the Alshon Jeffrey play, the Carson Wentz stuff, everything with Chris. Before we do

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Long. Chris, what a career. Is this part of my take? Yes, this is part of my take. Oh, I wasn't ready to do that. Oh, okay. This is your retiring though. So you weren't ready to continue your career? Is that what you're saying? I just wondered, I thought this was a Dan Patrick show. Oh, that's where you're going to be announcing your retirement. Exclusive Chris Long will be announcing his retirement on the Dan Patrick show. He announced it back here. By part of my take. Yes, thanks. So what was your favorite part of your career? My favorite part? Now I'm looking back after you're a retired citizen. Are you going to retire for real? I am going to retire at some point. Damn, almost got you. So will you

play another year? Like calendar year? Yeah. I don't know what the future holds. Okay. I'm not interested in these gotcha questions. I'm focused on today. Can I help you with this question because you're going to get it a lot Super Bowl week. You need to say, I'm going to take the next couple months. I'm going to get with my team, with my family and we're going to make some good conversations. I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to listen to my two-month-old son. I'm going to take his advice. I'm going to talk to my wife a little bit about it. Yeah, and then I'll make a decision. You know what you should say too? I need to listen to my body. I need to listen to my body. I'm just sitting in

a quiet room. Yeah, just with a stethoscope on your own. Just listen to that shit. Just listen to it. There's like the world's quietest room. Have you ever heard about that in Minnesota? It's like dangerously quiet. That's scary. If you sit in there, people have like panic attacks. I'm going to go up there and listen to my body. Okay, and have a panic attack. That sounds awful. So Chris, for real though, Super Bowl time, you won the last two Super Bowls. Yeah. Is it wild like looking back and saying, oh my god, this is like, this is right around the time your body should be saying we're getting ready for the big game. Yeah. It became almost a recurring thing for you. Yeah, instead I'm sleeping till 10am drinking four or five beers.

So you've peaked? Yeah. Yeah, my body feels way different than I did last year. Do you miss Super Bowl week at all? Like the lead up to the game or the fanfare? I know that you guys love talking to the media. I do not miss staying in the Mall of America literally indoors in Minneapolis for eight days straight, breathing like germs. Getting on TMZ because you said you wouldn't go to the White House on this. Yeah. You know what's funny? A lot of people had like drafts in their Twitter inboxes like ready for the moment we lost. Like I'm pretty sure there were a couple verified accounts that like I'm pretty sure they had them since last year. Right. And they fired them off at like 753 when we lost this thing. And we felt bad. We felt bad because we don't ever

want to get our friends in trouble. And we actually, it was funny because we looked back at the interview before we posted it. Yeah. Like, yeah, there's nothing that you said that was bad. Nothing. And it was such a casual question where PFT was like, you can go to the White House and you're like, are you serious, bro? There's nothing like a zinger when a guy's like, hey, remember that thing you skipped the last two years? You don't get to decide to skip it this year. That's true. It's true. And that's what those tweets were. I was like, damn. After you know, after you saw that feast that he put on for Clemson, was there a part of you that was like, shit, I should have gone a little bit. That could have been you, man. You could have been in those big Macs as filet fishes.

Yeah. Power move to you are this, this Super Bowl. You are a former player on both these franchises. What if you went as like an honorary member to the White House this year? I am going to the White House this year. Oh, you are. I want to announce that I'm taking my family on a tour of the White House at some point. That's been announced so far. I'm announcing that I'm going to go through the little process that regular people go through. What does that mean? Regular people. People that you looked down on. Okay, normies. You're saying normies. Well, I was reading about today. I was reading. I googled it today because I was thinking about that and I wanted to break it on this show, the Dan Patrick show. I wanted to break it that I'm going to take my family on a tour

of the White House. That's actually really nice. The bottom floor. You will be going to the White House this year. Yeah, I want to see all the really great presidents on the paintings in the past. That's good. Okay. So, you're a big Nixon fan then. All the great ones. You're a big Andrew Johnson fan. Andrew Jackson. I love the War on Drugs. I want to go pay homage. So, Big Cap brought up an interesting point. These are two teams that you used to play on. Kind of interesting that they both go to the Super Bowl after I leave. Yeah. So, addition by subtraction there a little bit. I was a bad locker room guy. I was a bad locker room guy and it was amazing what we were able to able to overcome last year in Philly. Despite you.

Despite me. Yeah. Are you ever an anonymous source guy? There's been a lot of that floating around through Philly recently. Yeah. You know, in all seriousness, you know what was funny about that shit was like. We're talking about the report that Carson Wentz is a bad teammate and everyone likes Nick Wentz. Carson Wentz is like the greatest person, like character-wise, to walk the earth, bro. He killed all those ducks, though. He does kill ducks. Yeah. He's the type of guy that like. Unless you're a duck, he's a great guy. Even the killing of the ducks, it was shingling. The displaying of all those ducks. Literally, I limit my time around Carson Wentz because he makes me feel bad about myself. You know what I mean? Yes. Thank you. Okay. Carson Wentz makes

Chris Long feel bad about himself. By being awesome. You know what was funny that day was like every, there were six sources supposedly, which I think is chicken shit. But everybody on Twitter was like, well, this guy hasn't tweeted yet. This guy hasn't tweeted yet. Can we cross you off the list? I was like, dude, if you would do the anonymous source thing, don't you think you would then fire off a tweet? Right. To cover your ass. I'm like, bro, people are doing true detective with white boards and whatever. So is it all bullshit? I mean, how does that work? Do you think someone talked to the press and it probably was someone who's maybe like a trainer or whoever it may be who's not even part of the team? I don't want to call that writer a liar because I had no

issue with the writer. Some people were like, why would you attack the writer? Go talk to your teammates. I was like, I don't know who it was. Right. And at the end of the day, that's just something that like it's a line I would prefer not to cross ever. Why do you think that people do that anonymously? You think it's like a contract thing where some guys upset about like getting like Nick Fulls throws in the ball more and Carson throws in the ball less. And so they're trying to like pump up their market value. Or why would you do that? There's a lot of reasons, I'm sure, but I can't think of them. I mean, maybe they just, I don't know. Maybe they were, I don't know. I don't know. Here's one. What if like you drop a big pass goes through your hands

in the playoffs and then you're like, I want to change the narrative here. Yeah. Al-Shar wouldn't do it. Okay. All right. I wanted to bring up actually both the big moments from this playoffs. Yeah. So we'll do the painful one for me and then the painful one for you. Yeah. The double doink, Cody Parky. Did you think that he was going to miss that kick? When were you on the field for that? I was on the field for that. Okay. And it wasn't really blocked. So it was blocked. It was tipped. It was tipped. It was tipped. It was tipped. You missed that record. A tipped can change. You can do a lot of stuff with it. You can do a ton of stuff with a tipped. You can make a lot of stuff happen.

Oh, I'm talking about fingertips. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So, same size. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just think we were destined to win that day. I think we had a little Nick Foles magic and, you know, which brings me to the gift that I wanted to give you personally. Oh, gosh. Oh, no. Since we're on topic, I brought it in my backpack. Oh, no. All right. Oh, no. You just opened my backpack here. I have two gifts for you. Oh, that's a lot of weed. Unfortunately not. Oh, the same Nick candle. These are the actual candles from the Nick Foles shrine. Okay. Oh, these, you never lit them? We don't, we don't light them. Okay. And this is sage that we burn. This is actually huge.

This, we're going to sell this on eBay for a good amount of money. Like, this is great. This is a note. Can we get a verified? Like, we need a verified. If you make water boys a beneficiary. Okay. Perfect. So I'll give you a climb Kilimanjaro. Oh, there's one more candle. Remember when I was supposed to climb Kilimanjaro? Remember when you lied about that? You texted me and you said, you texted me and said, Hey, bro, you wanted to climb Kilimanjaro in the fall. And I was like, yeah, dude, definitely. Yeah. You were like, I'm in and then you like Googled it and you were like, Oh, it's a mountain. Yeah. I'm out. So yeah, there's your last candle. Okay. And I thought maybe these are great. No, I appreciate these. Definitely going straight

to eBay though. Yeah, we have actually, we have a gift for Larry, the bus drivers. Oh, cool. We have a gift for you. Okay. We're going to actually sign this. This is a Chris long bobble head and we're going to sign it and give it to you. I don't even sign it. So we like that. Say something about you that your bobble head is not you playing, but it's you partying like a drunk asshole. Yeah. After you won the Super Bowl. Also, your head doesn't really move on here. I did have a good time. I did have a good time. Yeah, treasure that. Good looking bobble head. Yeah. So wait, I want to go back to this game real quick. Real question. Yeah. Did you talk to Kyle beforehand or afterwards? Also a big dog shirt. Somebody brought it. Oh, yes. Somebody brought

that shirt down from the stands during a preseason game, I think, and had our head of security dom give it to me. Big dogs rise above the competition. It's a 5x. That's okay. That's a 5x. Okay, perfect. I mean, perfect. Yeah. All right. So that game, it was obviously a bunch of like, how weird is it playing against your brother? It happened before you guys almost fought in St. Louis that one time, which was hilarious. Yeah. But a playoff game, when the stakes are so high, it's Kyle's first time in the playoffs. Did you guys talk before leading up? Yeah, I talked to him all week. I waged psychological warfare. Okay, like what? Give us an example. Well, he said something like in the media that was like, well, on Sunday, we're not brothers

anymore, you know, Chicago, Chicago fans, Bears fans, you know, that's Chicago. Yeah. Yeah, Mike Dicca, you know, tough stuff. That's an Italian beef real hard shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Keep going. And I just called him and I was like, really, dude, we're not related. Okay. And so the rest of the week, I would FaceTime every night with my son, Waylon, and I would have Waylon be like, Kyle, we're not family anymore. Waylon is his two year old son. Or I would have him sing the Eagles fight song. And yeah, it was a long week for Kyle. That's tough. That's the point to have the kids involved. That's that's that's a dirty move by you. Well, you know, you got to do what you got to do. But Kyle, I was really in all seriousness, super proud of him.

Like he was playing his ass off before he got hurt. He got rolled up on his own. You can do about it. And came back in the playoffs and he played really well against us, like really well. Yeah, after the game, you got you guys said that you loved each other. Yeah, you guys kiss on the lips? Yeah, I mean, no, seriously, do you kiss Kyle long on the lips? No, I do not. No, he's he's he would not be if I had to kiss somebody on the lips, it wouldn't be Kyle. Yeah, he spent a lot of time in that gamer cave that he has in his like little NASCAR. Oh, no, we're familiar with his game. We stayed his house in extra couple days. And when we left, we walked by his gamer cave and we're like, Hey, Kyle, we're going to head out now. And he's like, Oh, you guys are

still here. He does not emerge. No, we're like feeding his dog, letting it out. His dog's like wandering the streets of Chicago. Alright, so that's the first obviously memorable moment, the double doing the second one. Oh, this is part of a question from five minutes. Yeah, yeah. So no, actually, let me later interrupt because big cats trying to move on too quickly from this moment. Tell walk me through that moment and what went through your head and just how electric it was and how great it made you feel. No, just like, give me a little discussion. Well, it was like, it was, it was, it was just relief, man. It was like an amazing atmosphere that game. It was so hard to go in on the road. They are,

they're a really good team. Their defense is awesome. And it took like that big drive from Nick. It took a lot of craziness that you remember it all. Yeah. But you didn't feel free to remind them. And then, you know, the way that kick just, it hit the side of the upright and then it was like, I'm going to go in. He made the one before the going in. I don't know, Jim. And then it was like, oh, I'm going to hit the other part. Would you say Doug Peterson's a coward for icing the kicker? No, play man up. Doug's awesome. But like my first, my initial thought was like, the funniest thing was before I got down in my stance, I always talk shit to like who like funny shit to like the kicker or whoever. And I said something and one of their alignment was like,

Hey, buddy, look at it this way, you're either going to be on a beach next week, or you're going to be playing in the divisional round. Like kind of like it's over, bro. Right. Right. Right. I'm consoling you. Pack your bags. Yeah. And then right after I was like, I guess you're going to be on the beach. That's shocking that anyone on the Bears would have that confidence in Cody Parky. Well, you know what? Cody Parky, the ball was tipped. Okay, no. It was tipped. All right. So let's move on to the Al-Shan play. So goes right through his hands. You guys are going to about to basically win the game in New Orleans. I think we all sat there being like, this is going to happen again. Yeah. It goes through his hands, intercepted.

It's almost a shocking like conclusion of the season. What is it like in a locker room after that after a Super Bowl win the year before? Is it like the true, Oh, well, it's kind of gravy because we won last year. That's not a real thing. No. His fans think like that. I mean, number one with Al-Shan, in my opinion, he's the best receiver I've played with. I mean, he is automatic. We just shot's fired at Danny Amidola twice. Al-Shan is Al-Shan. If Al-Shan, they're not, they're not the same type of player. I know you're going to make this racial. No, I'm not. No, no, no. Yeah. What do you mean? Wes Welker slot guys. I don't see color. And I think Jules is super underrated. But when I say, when I say Al-Shan is the best receiver,

I'm talking about number one, go up and get it. You throw him the ball. He just picks on people. And he really, like when he came on at the end of the year, we got better. And so like, we wouldn't even be there without him. And he's a great teammate. And everybody just felt bad because there's 100 plays in that game. You know, that whole thing is like, we, we literally could have won that game 15 different ways from fake punt, you know, to, you know, get a stop on fourth and three down there. When they on that long drive, they go for it on fourth down, you know, Al-Shan had two drops on the air. It just happened to be that one. Bad timing. Yeah. So, I mean, I felt bad for him. And at the end of the day, everybody just supported him,

supported each other. We lost that game as a team. And it was a good run, man. But it did kind of all sit in at once. And I was crushed for a couple of days. I would, I was like sad. I was like sad because I'd never want to lost a playoff game. So like either either my either my season was like over December 1st, like we were eliminated like earlier than that. And, and, or we won the Super Bowl like in my career. And so this was like the first time it somebody was just like, okay, it's over right now. Yeah. It was that it was weird. So on a serious question, you were saying just a second ago, how much more you prefer Nick Foles to Carson Wentz. But what is it about how different that offense is? Because there is something about when he gets in the game. And

okay, yes, I was joking. I was putting words in my mouth, but yeah, but there is some like truth to that question. Like nobody expects Nick Foles when he comes in off the bench to do what he does. And somehow he just makes it work every time. Is there magic floating through that locker room? Like are you guys like, I don't know what it is about him, but he's our guy? Or does he actually run the offense differently? I think there are different players, obviously. But Carson was hurt all year. So I mean, you know, like Carson wasn't right. And everybody knows he's the franchise quarterback. Like that's like nobody after the Super Bowl was like, who's the quarterback in our locker room? You know, you go online, you can find all sorts of shit. Say a lot

of stuff. Yeah. But, but at the end of the day, like we got healthy in a lot of spots when Nick, when Nick showed up and that's not taking anything away from Nick, Nick did a tremendous job. But it was just the timing. Everything was right for us. And, you know, Carson's been tough, supportive the entire year. And they're really good, good buddies. So throws a catchable ball. He does. It looks like it looks softer. Like, yeah, right. It looks softer. Have you caught a pass from him? I can't catch. Oh, really? Oh, my next question is going to be like, why don't you play tight end ever? Have you ever lobbied to get into the game like in a Pro Bowl? Have you made a Pro Bowl? Have you had an interception? I have not. I had one in

preseason. So you probably shouldn't retire. But I went, I didn't, I didn't go to the Pro Bowl. I had 13 sacks and somebody went with six and a half. Whoa. Wait, you've never, you actually haven't been to the Pro Bowl. I've not been to the Pro Bowl. Holy shit. That's fucked up. I was insane. I was in St. Louis. Like, you know, like all our fans voted for me, but there's not that many people in St. Louis. Bad sports town. Okay. No, it's a great sports town. Okay. You had to say that. So who, wait, who had the six and a half sacks? I think it was JPP. Now, JPP is the home of the player. He's electric. Yeah. But the markets are a little different. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit different. All right. So I've been an alternate like 17 times. So I'm going to tell my grandkids

about. Yeah, you just got to hope that the people in front of you go to the Super Bowl every year. Pretty much. You got to stop winning so many playoff games. Pretty much. Yeah. That's your issue. Let somebody else get there so that you can take their spot. Yeah. I mean, yeah, pretty much. I got, I don't have any jokes. All right. So, so this Super Bowl, Tom Brady, somehow back there again. It's like insane to watch that the Patriots get there every single year. We've talked to you about your year in New England. Is it shocking to you, even, even though you're only there two years ago, that like this season, it looked like they were finally, you know, had weaknesses. They lost a couple of weird games. How do they then get ready for the playoffs and have that whole thing

come back together? So this is my thing about the Patriots. A lot of people think about the Patriots as like really rigid schematically. And I think they are more so on defense, but they, one thing that Bill does a great job of is he adapts. He adapts not only at the beginning of each season, but he'll adapt going into a game. He'll, he'll, he'll, you know, strengths and weaknesses. He's great at identifying that. They go into the playoffs. They're a totally different team. I think they did a great job at tackle this year. You know, their coach, coach, car is a legend to me. And, you know, they, they seven man protect a lot, chip out, but, but they did a great job in that Kansas City game. Those first two drives of, you know, the LA game

and then the Kansas City game are like tone setting drives. And they tell the other team, I'm willing to run the ball up your ass and we're going to, we're willing to do it. And, and this is what time it is. And that changes the way you play defense. And those two tackles, I mean, Trent Brown's like 375 pounds, Marcus Cannon, like 360 pounds. That's who I'm watching during the game. I mean, everybody's going to be Bill versus McVay, you know, Tom versus time versus time, Tom versus golf, but it's really to me about the front seven. Can they, can they deal with Aaron inside? Can LA's front sort, you know, a lot of those multiple looks that New England's got and can those tackles continue to move people off the ball? I was shocked

that Kansas City didn't take the ball because that was, that was exactly what you couldn't have happen. And you know, the Patriots are the best at that of doing those 15 play drives that just sucks everything out of the stadium. Right. Yeah. I mean, especially at home, right. You know, sometimes when you're on the road, it sucks to get the ball because like everybody's hyped up between a game, the defensive type, the first possession, if you get pinned back there at the 10, then they're going to score first probably. I mean, you're going to punt the ball. They're going to get it in midfield. I would always take the ball at home at home. Yeah. I mean, that's what I would do. As far as the Patriots running game goes, we have, we've been making

fun of Rob Gronkowski a lot recently, mostly just to get under Hank's skin, because, you know, like there were a couple of games where he kind of disappeared offensively, but it seems like he's as good, if not better than he's ever been at blocking somehow. Does he ever go up against him in practice? Yeah. He's a good blocker, man. And that's, and that's the thing I respect about him. Blocking tight ends. Listen, New England does a lot of old school shit. White slot receivers. Fullbacks. Fullbacks for my next thing. And, you know, you talk about Rob being a block in tight end and all their tight ends are asked to block. And I, you know, sometimes people say like, you know, for instance, Aaron Donald, Aaron Donald didn't have a sack against us.

Aaron Donald took up like eight hours of meeting time during the week. Right. Like people are sick of hearing about Aaron Donald. And that in and of itself, when you're focused that long on somebody, you're not game-planning for anything else. So, I mean, people are game-planning Rob. Like when I got to New England, I was blown away by how great Tom was. But to me, the guy that jumped off the screen to me and every day in practice was like, oh my God, Rob Grankowski is the best football player I've ever seen along with Tom. I mean, he's unbelievable. And I know he's beat up physically, but, you know, he's a hell of a player and he makes his impact felt in the blocking game as well. Did you, did you play with Aaron Donald? Yeah. I was there when they drafted him.

This kid's a, he's, he's the perfect football player. He's just insane. Ooh. Perfect. It's like they made him in a Petri dish. How? Well, like tell me exactly why he's the perfect football player. So, he's, so he's six feet tall, right? So. Yeah, that was a knock on him in the draft, which is. But he fell. He fell a little bit. But people are dumb. Sorry, this cheap-ass bus and this cheap-ass bullshit headphone. It's actually Darth Brooks' bus. Dan Patrick has Bluetooth. Dan Patrick has, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to get gray hairs on my. So. It's falling down. So, it's falling down. It's limp here. It's falling. That's Hank's headset. The thing about height is so overrated for linemen, especially like a detackle because

he's six feet tall, but his reach effectively makes him six-six. Okay. This is ridiculous right now, this microphone. But people don't need to hear, you know. So, his reach is about that of a six foot six dude. He's explosive like nobody's business. He's, he's the strongest guy up front that on any team I've been with. Most explosive and he's a technician. He works really hard and he's angry. He's extremely violent. Have you ever trained with knives in the off season like he did? No, but you know, it's funny, you know, they're not real knives, but. No, we're editing that out. I choose to believe there were. Yeah. I mean, if anybody would trade, if anybody would be able to train with knives, it would be him. He's, he's. He's that good? He's the baddest dude. In my

opinion, he's the baddest dude in the NFL, like as far as like just being a bad. I've never seen somebody split a double team with like a simple swim move as easily as he does. Bro, he's, he has like three moves in sequence that he's not thinking about. He's just practiced them so much and he's so instinctive that when one move gets taken away, he goes right to the next one. And then the second move, like he'll win on his third move. Most guys in a league, you know, they have one rush in mind and they can't, they can't change course when they get blocked or somebody oversets them. He's got a third one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's amazing. That's nuts. How much credit do you think Jeff Fisher should get for this? I think he should. I think he, well, obviously not

the Super Bowl, but fish and less did a great job of compiling talent. They did. Yeah. Architect. Jeff Fisher's a team architect and letting veterans who aren't producing walk. Yeah. Pretty much. But you know, him letting him, him cutting me, he was the coolest guy to get cut by bro. I can see that. Yeah. But like, you know, he calls and he's like, Hey, man, how you doing? I'm like, not bad. What's going on? He's like, yeah, man, just going fishing or like whatever he, you know, and he's like, what's you up to today, buddy? Like, how's the family? Like, and you're like, I know you're cutting me, right? But I, I believe you care. Yeah. Because he does. Yeah. He's a good dude. And, and he's like, so we're just, we're going to let you and James go.

And I'm like, and he starts to apologize. I'm like, literally don't be sorry, man. Like, seriously, like how many people cut you and you're like, Hey, don't apologize. Yeah. You're awesome. Yeah. Like his Jeff's a good dude, man. And, and he has a big heart. And one thing he cares about a great deal is his players. Yeah. He cut Nick Foles too. He cut Foles too. Did he cut Foles? Yeah. Yeah. Cut Nick Foles. Well, I missed the whole hard knocks. Where do you think Nick Foles is going to go? Is he going somewhere? Is he going somewhere? I don't know anything about. What's his contract situation? His contract situation is he's probably not going to be in Philadelphia next year. So would you rather he go out of the division? I mean, you, you never want

to, you hate playing your good friends. Yeah. Oh, so he's a really good friend. Who would you rather play against Nick Foles or Carson Wentz? Probably probably, well, when it comes to being a DN, when it comes to being a DN, can I get the guy down or not? Is the guy fast? Is he athletic? Is he mobile? Carson's more mobile than Nick. So I'd rather rush against Nick. But Nick's got an anchor hanging from his belt, basically just like tethering him to the ground. Tough to get underneath that hog, right? Yep. What the fuck are y'all talking about? You know what I'm talking about. I don't know. I've read the signs. You know what we're talking about. You know, like the signs of the games. Yeah, you know exactly. How are Jim Schwartz's nipples doing? Good question.

Still hopping? Don't know. He always has just like very, very erect nipples. This is what happens. He works out a lot. If you watch games at home, like me and Big Cat do, there'll be like one moment from a Detroit Lions game back in 2010, where Jim Schwartz has like a really nice erect set of nipples and that'll stick in our brain forever. And you guys go like, oh, like I'm a yellow fucking pad of paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jim Schwartz nipples. Yeah. And then you like underline it. Yeah. And then you like put your little. But that yellow pad is our brain. Exactly. And then you drink another, you know. No. What are we drinking? Bud Light. Bud Light? No. Okay. Well, actually. That dovetails nicely into another thing we wanted to get into. Which will dovetail nicely into another thing.

You seem to be a big fan of promoting illegal drugs on Twitter. The NFL. Partially illegal. Legal in some states. Yeah. Well, no, federally illegal. Federally illegal. Schedule one. Schedule one. Is that really illegal? Yes. Addictive. What else is illegal? J-Walking. Deadly. Oh. Yeah. I don't remember last time anyone's overdosed on J-Walking. But they overdosed on marijuana cigarettes. I would say this. Imagine you're watching your favorite team play and something goes terribly wrong. Like a kick gets tipped. Oh, yeah. Or double-dox. No, you could either be 12 Natty Lights Deep and, you know, a little bit

blackout, a little bit irritable. Or you might just forget it happened. Or you might just be hungry. It's a good point. Imagine if you were watching. One, you break your TV. The other, you're like, whoa, what? You just change your channel. Are we back from commercial yet? Can I sync this up to Pink Floyd? Is this a Pepsi commercial? Can I sync the ball hitting the upright twice at Dark Side of the Moon? You play it backwards. No, you press play when Peterson ices the kicker. And then it's all like, have you ever watched Wizard of Oz in Dark Side of the Moon? Yes. Yes. Did you think? Yeah, it wasn't as cool as not at all. It was one of those things that everyone just says it.

And then you do it. Yeah, for sure. This is cool. A bunch of pot smoking criminals. But seriously, so CBS said that they weren't going to have a medicinal marijuana commercial during Super Bowl. They said, we're not taking marijuana as money. We're not going to promote anything that causes brain damage during an NFL broadcast. Exactly. So what were your comments on that? It's a strong stand. It's a strong stand. I just think it's obviously dumb and, you know, like in all seriousness, it's like Super Bowl Sunday. Listen, I've been in the game the last two years. Obviously, I wasn't drinking that day. I will be having a few on Sunday. But at the same time, like drunk driving goes up like, I think 25% during the Super Bowl. So you're pumping these

ads out, which are fine. I like drinking beer. Hell yeah. Americans. Hell yeah. In the NFL, remember they had the Marlboro ads like in the 90s? Yeah. Like if I go back and look at like tape of some of my favorite players in the 90s, I like see Marlboro ads. Yeah. I'm like, bro, that kills like, I don't know, 500,000 people a year. Alcohol kills like 90,000 people a year. Wasn't it Len Dawson? You know what's funny? Back then. Sex drive. Embrace the bait. Yeah. Embrace it. So back in the day, you know, players used to come to the sideline and smoke cigarettes. You know, that's right. There's a picture of Len Dawson. My dad was playing there. Yeah. Heaters at halftime. Wait, your dad did? No, they did. No, my dad's the

most clean. I know. That's why he looks like… A little too clean. Yeah. That's why he looks like they like froze him like Han Solo and he's like still… It is amazing. And I don't want to, I know he's friends with everyone on the Fox set, so I'm not going to say anything bad about anyone else. You're saying he looks younger than them. He looks a lot younger than some of the other men who played in his era. Well, my dad lives really clean. Yes. Like literally, I try to, I try to get it, like have a shot with him at like my wedding or like… He's like, no. No, he had one at my wedding. Did you do it over the Google cast or whatever? Google cast. What was the thing about it? Oh, you're doing a Facebook ad for real

box stuff, live in your house. Is this chicken? Mom, can I have this chicken that's green? Mom, I'm a great actor. He runs in the family. How embarrassing was that? Did you get paid enough? I got paid enough. You did? Yeah. Okay, so it was worth it? Yeah, it was worth it. For a couple of days, you know, everybody was like, hey, great commercial. Like, and they were serious. Like, some people really liked the commercial. I didn't think it was like a bad commercial or anything, but like, you know, there's always this part of me when I agree to something where I'm like, yeah, well, this is what the money I'm gonna make. Hell yeah. And then there's the part where I actually have to do it.

You have to do it. Yes. Yeah. That's life. Future use problem. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I only saw that commercial once though. Did they stop airing? Well, it was a one-time thing. Oh, that's good for you. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah. You don't think people don't have DVRs? Yeah, no. It's just out there and it's done. It's done, bro. Did Howie Jr. get his beak wet there? He got, he wet, he wet the beak. Okay, no, it's nice. He wet the beak. Howie Jr. is my number one. Howie Jr. has been selling a lot of tickets in Las Vegas. They're like raking it in.

Oh, yeah, because he works for the Raiders. He has all those and shit. Yeah, that's awesome. Hell, yes. So he's a, he's a desert dude. Yeah. All right. Should we do our special second surprise? Yeah, let's do it. All right. So it's the Seekie question, but so you can put in promo code, take 300. You get $300 off for your Super Bowl ticket. Doesn't you have to be a first time user? Okay. Okay. Seekie, take 300. Instead of a question, we actually have our good friend, Kate, who is a Philly native as well.

Hi, Kate. I saw that shirt on Twitter today. I was like, what the fuck? Kate is going to give, she, Kate's going to do three minutes of stand up for you. Okay. Seekie, take 300. Okay, that's great. Yeah. Are you roasting me? Like, I feel like I'm walking into a trap. I'm Kate, but you probably remember me from the Saints game down in New Orleans, because I was there in section 101. I was waving with the team.

What are the jokes? Hey, why the long face? Just kidding. No need to get all defensive. I don't want to get sacked from my job. Anyways, you're probably wondering about how we long this set is going to be. Just about as short as your stint with the Patriots, so don't worry. Speaking of, when it comes to this year's Super Bowl, you can say you've played for both teams. I've been known to do that after a few too many Inglings here in Philly. As a US Marine, humble brag. All I'm saying is that maybe I've been known to ram some Patriots

in my day. If you know what I mean. I read that you're an all-American like me, though. That's cool. Where'd you serve? There's battleships outside. That's cool. It's fine, because I know you do a lot of good stuff. Like in 2017 with the Eagles, when you announced that you'd be donating your entire salary to a sad, sad, sad charity cause that season. And I think that's awesome, because I mean, look at how well they're doing now. You really helped the Browns turn their program around. Part of your charity work involves looking to solve the water crisis in Tanzania.

That place, I did that to show that I'm from here. The suburbs. Pretty far out. Part of your charity work involves looking to solve the water crisis in Tanzania. That place has got to be a lot like my coworkers on the Caller Daddy podcast. A real thirst trap. Wow. I've seen that podcast. Not to be nosy, but good works aside, you're probably pretty rich. A lot of money you probably have a lot.

An Eagles Super Bowl champ living in Philly, your dumpster pool has to be the nicest on the block. Side note, your brother's a bear, but you're an eagle. I'd have a lot of questions for my mom if I was you. And hey, that Eagles Bears game was wild. Normally, I got to go to a special website to watch a guy double-doink his brother. But really, Chris Long, I'm a big fan of you on and off the field because you're a huge, giant, enormous inspiration. Excuse me. Libcock. You're a huge, giant Libcock. No, it's cool.

Even if you're a giant libo, people got to admire a guy who's not afraid to speak his mind and open his mouth, whether it's human rights, pro-drugs, or leaking to the press that wence as a diva. From one old vet to another, congrats on your retirement. And thanks very much for announcing it here on part of my tape. Thank you. That was Kate. And Kate Barstow, our favorite. All the rain today, that was the driest thing in Philadelphia. That was unbelievable. The driest three minutes. That was our other surprise, the Seakeak set. So take 300, put in promo code, take 300, get $300 off your Seakeak Super Bowl ticket. She's just miserable because she has to ride around with you guys.

She's hilarious. At Kate Barstow, you can find her where you say PFC. I was just wondering who you're rooting for. Honestly, I thought about it because I like to root for somebody if I'm watching a game. I'm not a real good, like, you know, just watch the game. You should start to gamble. I can't. Oh, what I was actually thinking about the Shrine Candles, before you auction them off. Yes. Maybe you can like, how I was thinking you could use them is like whatever stupid fucking game you're betting on, you're going to lose that night. Just take a picture of somebody you want to do well and put it in the Shrine. That's why I've got a Shrine to Coach O in the

office. And it works. It works. I brought them back in the second half against all. Or, okay, here's the other thing. I can look at the candles, then you could just give me the cash. I owe my bookie. No, probably not going to happen. Mine's all frozen. Got a lot of blood charities. Oh, yeah. So that's the scheme you're running? Just fucking your asses. Here's my scheme. Yeah, I am. I am publicizing my charities. So I have like a good excuse when to generate fucking gamblers come to me and ask me to borrow money. True. Well, here's the question. If we start our own charity, would you donate a game check to it? What's the charity for? We'll figure it out. We'll just rename our podcast Charity and he

can give us. It's charity awareness charity. We'll just figure it out. It's a charity awareness charity. Yeah, pitch it to me when you. Yeah, no, it's just a bunch of, it's actually just a bracelet company. Yeah, just so it's charity awareness charity. Yeah, just pitch it to me when you get time. All right. Just pitch it to me another time. Okay. I didn't check, I didn't check McHenry's math. Is it right that if you donate a lot of money to charity, you actually make money? Oh, did you say Tommy Lauren? Tommy, yeah, Tommy Lauren. Which one? No, but serious question. You do have a lot of causes that you like to work with, yet there's still evil in the world. So would you say that your career has been a failure?

I am failing. Okay. What's the most important cause right now that we should go donate to? Waterboys, waterboys.org. It's our clean water initiative. I'll talk about it for 30 seconds so you guys can think about your joke that you're going to follow. I was just going to say water makes you weak when I was in high school. We didn't take water breaks. You're a real throwback. Yeah. We've been doing this for about four years. We've drilled 52 high capacity like solar-powered wells. So they serve about 7,500 people a pop. We've got just below 200,000 people drinking from our wells in Tanzania. We're going to branch out geographically. We've got a lot of guys that have worked hard. So where can they go? Waterboys.org. All right. Last question for me. Now that you're

retired, are you worried at all about how triggered online you will get on a daily basis? Yeah. I mean, my tweets have gone way up since the end of the season and I've been getting triggered a lot. And that's a problem I got to work on. Yeah. So what happens when you get triggered? I'm just going to fight through it. I'm not mad. I'm just going to keep tweeting until everyone on Twitter agrees with me because my point is so great. When I get triggered, I drink a nice Budweiser product. There we go. Yeah. I drink a couple Budweiser products. Nice. Nice. Just take the edge off. Maybe get a devour meal, frozen meal and pop it in there. Yeah. Eat that. What is that? The devour bus. We're on the devour bus. This is a nice segue. Love devour.

Yes. I love all devour foods, all the products. How much do we have to pay you for this ad? Jesus Christ. I love devour hamburgers, french fries. No. Do you have a burner account? No. My son has a burner account. Did you hear about that? Yes. And people actually thought you were like, tell the story. Okay. So Kyle said, so Kyle tweeted or he said to the media, you know, Chicago media, you know, South Side. Everyone loved it. Everybody and Kyle was like, you know, me and my brother, we're not brothers anymore. Yeah. You know, you live in Lake Forest, you pick up. He was like, we're not brothers. And I saw it online and I was like, this is going to be funny. So I quote tweeted his graphic that everybody was eating up. Then I said, okay,

well, that's funny. I just told that to Waylon and he said that you're canceled as an uncle because you know, people on Twitter get canceled. Yep. Especially if you're not well, you get canceled. Yeah. So Kyle caught a lot of shit and but I also caught a lot of shit. Imagine that. A lot of people are like, it's totally irresponsible to have your three year old, you know, having his own timeline. I agree with his own. I was like, I was like, holy shit. People actually thought that you realized that three year old cannot fucking read. Yeah. Well, your kid because your kid is basically six years old, right? My kid. Oh, my God, six years old. Your kid's going to win more Super Bowls than you and how he combined. Will you let your kid? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Good question. Not so high school. Whoa. Not so high school. What if he wants to start playing football when he's, you know, sixth, seventh grade, something like that? On the other hand, like, what if he has absolutely no interest in football? That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think it'd be tight if he played like one of these other sports where there's like all the money's guaranteed and I'm not complaining. Nope. I know everybody hates it when we say we should have guaranteed money or healthcare. I know because we're entitled millionaire and you're on the side of the billionaire owners. Why are you looking into limbs? I'm just looking at everybody out there. Yep. Hank's actually that's the wrong fucking camera. This is a live look at

Chris triggered. He literally, you literally looked in the trigger. This is what happens. No, guys. When I get triggered, I look at the wrong camera. So no, but I want him to play like soccer or something. Yeah. Or you'll go bonito. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. You know, and be like the next messy or something. Yes. The next Freddie, save American soccer. Yes. That'll be great. Actually, if your kids saved American soccer, it would be great. Yeah. If you saved American soccer, dad's going to be really rich. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Daddy's going to be rich. Are you sure you're the father? Huh? Never mind. All right. Chris Long, this has been a lot of fun. We really appreciate it, man. Thank you. Congrats again on the retirement on Dan Patrick's show soon to come. And hopefully

we'll see you in Atlanta. Let's do it again in Atlanta next week. Thank you. Are you a Hall of Famer? A Hall of Famer? No. I want, I do want you. You have to use it to make a bunch of provolos. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, it sucks. We could do, we could get the vote on that. No, we could get you in the Hall of Famer. We'll start to. We can cherry pick some stats for you. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I got a lot of Twitter followers. I just want to say this is the, the, my favorite sketchy van I've ever gotten on in a Philly parking lot. We've gotten a little up in life. Like, we're riding nicely. You also get the benefit of being in the van an hour after we got into it the first time. Where did you get that? Next week. I got it on Amazon. Holy shit. Yeah,

you want it? I'll sell it to you right now for $6,000. Nope. I'm good. It looks like a club promoter's bedsheets. That was the nicest thing you've ever said, dude. Yeah. So it's like Draco Noir, right? Why aren't you wearing your Super Bowl rings? They're in a safe. You know, when you got them, you don't have to flaunt them. I would do the opposite. Yeah. One is a ring. One is a necklace. Damn, I forgot to get them. I got to bring them to Super Bowl. Oh, you should. You should actually pierce your dick into a Prince Albert Super Bowl ring. That's great. Well, you can't do that because you have to. The ring is still like a total circle. If we keep talking, it just falls apart.

What's your least favorite, most regrettable tattoo of the mini that you have? Full sleeves hot, dude. Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. No, it is. I wish I was badass. Probably the probably the tattoo I got a Bofa. Oh, okay. Well, listen, Chris, I've been online for years. Oh, you thought you were going to get a big cat? Yeah. I'm the second most. No, you like serious questions. Do you like Imagine Dragons? Imagine Me Drag. Oh, there we go. All right. You're online, too. I'm waking up. Yeah, there you go. Are you going to play one? We should. We should play an Imagine Dragons song. Thanks for giving us a wrap up. Well, you told us you had to lead and we got to wrap it

alone through that time because I'm my dad. Oh, this is like a vacation. All right. Thanks, Chris. My third favorite long. That interview with Chris Long was brought to you by movement. Now is the time to move on to our all time favorite underdog success story, movement watches. Found it on the belief that styles shouldn't break the bank. They've sold almost 2 million watches worldwide by bringing quality designs at fair prices. I love my movement sunglasses. I love my movement watches. I wear the watches just about every single day. They get great looks. They look like they're super, super expensive top of the line. They are quality watches, but they're extremely affordable.

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They're launching new styles on their site all the time. Check out their latest at MVMT.com slash pardon and join the movement. In sports, there are smart moves and they're not so smart moves. Like calling a timeout to set up a final touchdown attempt, that's smart. Icing a kicker when Cody Park is out there and you know that he won't make two in a row. That's also smart. Calling a timeout with no timeouts left or not calling a timeout in overtime, like Andy Reid, that's not so smart. And the same is true when you're hiring. There are smart ways and not so smart ways to get things done. Like job sites that overwhelm you with tons of the wrong resumes, that's not smart. But posting a job on Zip Recruiter letting them find the right candidates for

you, now that's smart. Their powerful matching technology scans thousands of resumes. Zip Recruiter identifies people with the right skills, education, and experience for your job and actively invites them to apply. The net result, the net net as they say in the biz is you get qualified candidates fast, which is why it's rated number one by employers in the United States based on trust pilots rating of hiring sites with at least a thousand reviews. And right now, my listeners can try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash PMT. That's right, free. The net net is go to ziprecruiter.com slash PMT Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. And that's the net net. Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a respect the biz. Oh, by the way,

I should have mentioned, we are going to Nashville. We'll be in Nashville on Saturday, two to six. Come check out, come hang out with us at the Ainsworth in Nashville. Yeah, we're going to watch college hoops. We're bouncing. We got to leave Nashville afterwards, but we will be there from two to six. So please come and hang out with us and buy a handker shot. Yeah, buy a handker shot and hang out with us. And then we're off to Atlanta shots for six Ainsworth, Nashville, hashtag money shots for Hank. And we'll put a big display board behind us. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking news. That was a sorry sounding cow, Hank. Yeah, breaking news. I'm just kind of rattled from earlier still. I'm quite lettered. I just bought a house for $13.3 million in Los

Angeles, San Diego area. Well, he is from San Diego, but wait, Hank, did you say awfully convenient time for him to do that? Did you say in the Los Angeles area, meaning San Diego? Yes. Okay. No, I'm with you. Maybe it was Temecula. Maybe he wants to fight Derek Fisher. Which arena is closer to San Diego, the Clippers and the Lakers? I don't know. I just like the stats department on that. Okay. But as you may have heard, the Super Bowl is set. And while most talk will center around Jared Goff and Tom Brady. You really put the same piece, right? Who? Clippers and the Lakers. I did not know that. Obviously, I fucking knew that. Bill with Chocolate Milk wants to recognize a couple of football guys whose commitment to recovery has made it possible for them to play in

the big game. Patriots running back, Rux Burkett, who season appeared over after being placed on IR with a neck injury in week three, but worked his way back and is set to play a big role in Super Bowl. The Lairnginal prominence, more commonly known as Adam's Apple, is in the neck. The Rams, CJ Anderson could have quit after being released by three teams, but instead came back to sign with the Rams and be the first running back in history to run for $100 in the TD in his first three games with a new team. That's right. Other running backs in history are Schminganga, Bianca Paduca, and Chris Fumentapa Mufalafala. Chocolate Milk salutes you and shares your commitment to recovery. That's because Chocolate Milk's got real recovery power with high quality protein, carbs, and natural

occurring electrolytes your body needs. Pick some up after your next workout and see for yourself. Okay. Thank you, Hank. All right. Let's do some segments. Respect the biz. Yes. Derek Carr wants to fight everyone on first take because Max Kellerman said that he doesn't know how much they would be able to get for Derek Carr. Is that right? Yeah, something like that. And Stephen A Smith has been piling on too. I'm actually shocked that Stephen A Smith knew that Derek Carr was the quarterback of the Raiders. Yeah. And I also am not shocked. Well, I'm not shocked that Stephen A Smith has somehow found a way to insert himself into a story like this, because this is a classic Stephen A Smith move. Yes, it is. You know, Carmella Anthony take my name out of your,

or no, Phil Jackson. If I see Phil Jackson, he basically threatened Phil Jackson physically. No, he threatened Kevin Durant too. That's right. He was like, we know the same people on the come after you. Yes, that's right. Yeah. I wouldn't say that, KD. The crazy thing is, I think I take Stephen A Smith in a fight against Derek Carr. No. Well, Stephen A Smith's already trying to pivot out. I might take Max Kellerman in a fight against Derek Carr. I would, he talks about boxing a lot. If you talk about fighting a lot, I assume that you can at least handle yourself a little bit just by his moves. Sweet size. Yeah, that's right. Right. Yeah, Bert Sugar could probably beat the shit out of me. Absolutely. Is he dead? I don't know. Jim Lampley. He put that

cigar out on my face. Yeah. It's never lit. Yeah, that's how tough he is. But I do like Stephen A Smith becoming the Ben Shapiro of Sports Anchors, where he's like, instead of fighting me, why don't you challenge me to a debate of ideas? Meet me on first take. Yeah, we will debate this using logic. So he is spinning it into like, let's get our ratings up, which is, it's a brilliant play on this part. I mean, we do the same thing if you were in this spot. Yeah. This is a great idea. But then Bovada came out and they actually had Stephen A Smith as the favorite in this fight. Yeah, which I agree with. No, because his hairline goes back so far that it's tough to hit him in the back of the head. He's like, it's open season. Rabbit punches don't exist on that hairline. He's

an ass man though. Do you think Derek Carr is an ass man? No, I don't think so. I think an ass man beats up a other man. I think Derek Carr strikes me as like a belly button piercing man. Like, oh, that's, that's hot. Yeah. That's really hot. The double, the double earring Pierce. Yeah. Would you get that? Your freshman year in college? Yeah. Nice. That ass. So I actually, I can't, I haven't decided if this is good or bad for Derek Carr because on one hand, people are talking about Derek Carr other than Derek Carr sucking. So that's good. Yes. On the other, it feels like a tough move for a starting quarterback to get this upset over something that first take says. You remember Jim Everett going out after Jim Rome, which was all stay woke,

staged. Yes. Yep. But doesn't it feel like Chris, maybe take a, maybe take a page out of our friend, best friend Blake Bortles book and don't sweat the small stuff. There you go. You know, just chill out for a while. Don't, don't let, don't let these haters get you down. Derek Carr, you might be triggered. Yeah. Just put on another round of eyeliner, put on a different cure album. Yeah. Crying your room for a while, like a real man. Yes. All right. Next up, we have state classy. This is for Jamal Adams, who buried the, was it the Patriots mascot at the Pro Bowl? Yes. Vicious hit sent the Patriots mascot to the hospital. That's actually not true. Oh, didn't happen. Yeah. Okay. What happened? You got duped by the fake news. Okay. So that news media,

he got, he got lit up by Jamal Adams because Pat the Patriot was showboating. He's being a grand stand and hot dog and son of a bitch and playing up to the crowd and the crowd was booing them. And so Jamal Adams was like, I'm going to take care of this for everybody. Just laid him out. Just put a hit stick on him. Yeah. If you're, if you're a mascot in today's day and age, you know that at any moment you're liable to be the target of someone looking to go viral. Yes. That's on you. That's on you. If he didn't want to get hit, he shouldn't have been dressed like that. Where's the fake news part come in? He didn't go to the hospital. So you're saying ESPN and Nessun's reports are fake? Yes. That's what I'm saying. Why? He did not go, he didn't

go to the hospital. So read the update on it. Why are they reporting that? He tried to jet because I think Jamal Adams joked about it later and said, yeah, he went to the hospital and everybody ran with that. Like it was a real story. You read way too much about this story. Well, it's a fascinating tale. This actually helps my point. My point is going to be that the mascots are the last people in the world that the internet feels bad for and now we feel bad for them. Like we've done the kickers. We do the, you know, anyone who sets up a GoFundMe even if you can't even verify that they need like money. We do the internet is quick to feel bad for everyone at all times and internet shame everyone else except mascots. But now we've gotten there with mascots. I saw

everyone say, oh my gosh, this poor mascot. So I guess I think society's complete. No, we're still waiting on adult autograph seekers. Okay, that brings suitcases of merchandise. So mascots are second to last because don't you agree? Like usually they're like, who cares? Like the Denver Nugget guy basically dying as he comes down from the ceiling. That's funny. Yeah, he was completely unconscious. Some people out there were like, you have to admit it'd be kind of funny if the thing was dead. Our stupid brains can't even realize that they're human beings in there. No, it's they're not. But we have finally gotten to a point in society where we feel bad for everyone all the time that we now feel bad for mascots. So you're right, adult autograph seekers. That's

our last last one. And then we're done. Yeah, well, we're finished in podcasters. Yes, I think we come in last bad for podcasters. I don't know. They really want to see me eat shit. They really want to see you cut your finger off. They did really want to see me cut my pinky off. We are actually the most we're the most persecuted class of humans in America spot the lie. All right, we have a new segment called James hard on. So James Harden is insane. And really the segment is to just marvel at his stats. So here are a couple, 261 points in his last five games, all unassisted. I wouldn't say that. That's you gotta give you gotta give some credit to the referees. That's true. Although he does he does do a good job. Yeah, the the the assist is his is the third

step back. Yeah, the third step back and also that thing where he like leans his shoulder into somebody before he takes a shot. That's an insane stat. He has been absolutely on fire. He dropped 61 in the Mecca. Something about the Mecca just brings brings the most out of guys. And here's another one. This is this stat is insane for another reason. So James Harden has now averaged 50 points for five games in a row. Yeah. So that's the second most all time. Who's number one? Well, how many will Chamberlain with 20? 116 games in a row. He averaged 50 points. Do you think Harden's fucking like Will? That's crazy. Yes, for sure. I think my favorite part of my favorite part of these stories is they always

talk about like whenever somebody plays at the Mecca, there's like a separate statistic for top scores in the history of the Mecca. Right. Like they don't say that about the Capital One Center in DC. They don't say that about the United Center. They don't say that about the big that's the Mecca. The Giant Pyramid, the Amway Center. Yeah. It's the Mecca. Yeah. They had some boxing matches there. Billy Joel also performed there 75 times. They also had a Nazi rally. People don't talk about that. Oh, I was going in Madison Square Garden. Yeah, that's right. Lindbergh spoke. Yes. Yeah. People don't talk about the Mecca that way. Yeah, true, true. Fun fact, Billy Joel is like 5-5. Oh. Yeah. So just thought I'd toss that out there. Okay, that is a fun fact.

We should have him on the show. Yes. Yeah. Sure. That would help you a lot. Yeah. We will get some more. I was on Hot Street. Danny DeVito. Yeah, for about 5 Eps in a row. Yes. You towering over people. All right. Last up before we get to Road Rules with Larry, we have Embrace the Bates. Is it impressive that Mariana Rivera was the first unanimous Hall of Fame inductee? Yeah. I mean, anytime you can get a bunch of sports writers to just all agree on anything besides like this cold cut spread is insufficient. Bruce Springsteen, Roger Ruhn is his best song. That would be another one or like you too is the punk rock Bruce Springsteen. That's another one that they like to tag on. It is impressive for that fact except they kicked out all the old guys. So there was a guy who

didn't vote for Greg Max because he just merely played in the steroid era. I like that. See, this is what we need more principal stands like this. Baseball writers are the biggest fucking jackasses. This is the most inconsequential. What's the percentage that someone gets voted into the Hall of Fame? Yeah. You have to really be like, I don't even know what steps you take in life to get to this point where you're like, oh, 86 percent. What the fuck? I don't trust any modern sports writers because they're writing in the Adderall era. Yes. It's like there's a lot of PEDs going on out there. True. Who knows? Who knows? Bob Ryan might be on might be on those happy pills. You don't know. There's a Starbucks on every corner. That's true. That's not what

caffeine is a drug. Back in the day, back in the day, they wouldn't have that. No, you had to send your intern out to buy and make it for you and have seven pots available for you at all times. It was much tougher back then. Yeah. I don't know. I would love to hear from someone who cares about who gets in the Hall of Fame. That's fine. I agree. It's interesting debate who's in the Hall of Fame. It will be very interesting if somehow Barry Bonds and A-Rod and Roger Cummings don't get in the Hall of Fame because they are very much part of baseball history, but talking about the percentage that you got into the Hall of Fame with, I need to talk to someone who actually cares about that. I'd just like to say I'm opting out of all baseball Hall of Fame arguments for the rest of my life

about if X, Y, or Z should be in the Hall of Fame, unless it's about a super, super star. I care about the Barry Bonds, the A-Rods. That's one thing. But if you start talking to me about why Harold Baines career stats are insufficient to be a Hall of Fame, mentally, I'm already on the moon. I'm past the moon. You started it and I'm all out. Yeah. Speaking of the moon, fun stat, more people have walked on the moon, excuse me, walked on a soundstage in Nevada, then gotten an earned run off Mariana Rivera in the playoffs. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. So how many people walked on the soundstage? I think three. We don't walk on the moon anymore. Yeah, that's true. We're going to Mars though. Did you see that? This sucks. NASA's smart. NASA's smart. They played

it in Trump's hands. I'm over Mars. You know what? Mars is cancelled. No, we're not canceling I'm so sick of Mars. I don't, there's not water there. There is water vapors. No, there were billions of year old. I'm done with Mars. I'm canceling Mars. Mars has been cancelled. Don't talk to me about Mars. That's the beauty of Mars. It's like every time we send a rover up there, they're like, we took a sample of ice and it turns out there might have been life here at some point out. I know I'm on to net onto Jupiter or Saturn or one of those big, big behemoths with the rings. Yeah. Yeah. Go escape. Go grind the rings. What planet comes out to Mars? Jupiter. Yeah, it's the asteroid belt. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about Mercury? Mercury is number two.

Someone give Mercury some shine. Mercury is number one. Oh yeah, I count sun number one. Sun's the first planet. Yeah. Yeah, then Mercury. Venus is sick too. Venus is pretty sweet. Wait, Venus is where? Four? It's two. Well three. Wait, Mercury is one? No, sun is the first planet. Then Mercury is the second. Then Venus is just a giant ball of gas. So it's basically Hank. Oh yeah, after. And Hank and planets four. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? After a few too many. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? All right, let's. By the way. That's the sound that Venus makes. You ready for a pre-debate that we're going to have to live through? How mean are you guys? Sports gambling about to be legalized everywhere. MLB about to let you bet on sports, maybe even in their stadiums.

Hypocritical that Pete Rose isn't in the hall of fame. Yeah. Get ready for that folks. Yeah. Buckle up. Tighten up your belts because that debate's coming and we're never going to hear the end of it. You know what's great is that I guarantee you Pete Rose has put money on Pete Rose getting into the hall of fame. Yes, yes. He is absolutely taking that profit. 100%. Every year he can't stay with you. That's actually just his 401k. Yeah. Yeah. All right, we're going to wrap up the episode with a very special guest. It is our bus driver, Larry, who we have known for 12 hours, but he's already made an imprint in our life because we you hold our lives in the palm of your hands as you drive us to Atlanta. Larry, welcome to the show. Well,

thank you. Where'd you come from? Like give us the quick elevator pitch of Larry the bus driver. Well, I was born in the Bronx. I've been driving since I'm 15. I've owned my own tractor trailer. I've driven buses for trips to Atlantic City and party bus. Oh, not an RV type of bus. Okay. This is your first time driving an RV. That makes me feel very fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever driven a tour bus before? Well, that's what this is, is a tour bus, but it's configured more like a home than a bus. What would you say your greatest strength is as a bus driver? Oh, my knowledge of the equipment and how it handles. You don't know any of the equipment. You've had to read the manual every time we've had to do something. Well,

that would be the equipment that you're talking about, the ancillary equipment being the televisions and the different lighting systems and the strobes and things. You're just talking about gas break. No, I'm talking about the transmission and operating the vehicle in a safe manner. And it's not only the safety for my passengers, but the safety of the other motorists along the road, whether they're other truckers or just four wheel drivers. Have you ever been in an accident? I have been in an accident, but not in recent years. Okay. What is recent years? So he's hot right now. Yeah. You're on a hot streak. Well, in my younger days, I used to be quite a hot rod. I want to hear about that. Hot rod, Larry, go. We used to drag race on the streets of the Bronx

on the Marshall Parkway and the Bruckner Expressway. I had my friend Mike Keegan and I, we both had Mopar road runners, 1968, 1970 vintage road runners with extremely large motors, with worked on engines to increase horsepower and rear end gears changed to provide quicker turns of the wheels per ton of the motor. You've always been a gear head. You've always loved cars. Oh, yes. I was in the U.S. Coast Guard. I was a machinist mate. Oh, thank you for your service. Well, it's a long time ago, but thank you. People forget the Coast Guard as part of the military. There is that stigma attached to being a coastie, but we accept it and wear it well. We actually like that. It's part of the game. I think it's my favorite branch of the military. They should

make more movies about the Coast Guard. Yeah. I can't recall one. Yeah, exactly. They should make the Asher Kutcher one. Oh, there was an Asher Kutcher one? Yeah, in Alaska. There's no coast in Alaska. Okay. So what is, yeah, Alaska's landlock tank. But you guys don't know what movie I'm talking about? Uh, no, I don't know what movie you're talking about. No, I think Hank hallucinated. What does Larry do for fun? You guys are crazy. A lot of things. Yeah. Well, I'm, I'm somewhat of a golfer. I'm not a great golfer, but I love to play the course. Okay. And you're a poker player too, right? Yes, I am somewhat of a poker player. Yes. Yeah. So how long you've been playing poker? Oh, I think it's longer than I've been driving,

actually. So you started when you were like 13 years old? Yes. Had that start like neighborhood games or you sneak in a casino? Absolutely neighborhood games. But on the field, on the basketball courts of PS81 in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. There we go. It's an era that you had to be there to understand the things that took place in that time. So you were around when the Bronx was burning? Yes, actually. Yes. A lot of guys I grew up with were firemen in the South Bronx for the patchy. Absolutely. Yes. Cops and firemen. Yep. I was talking about the ESPN movie, the Bronx is burning. Yeah. He was actually talking about fires. The actual fires. Is that, I don't know enough about New York. Like was that also when the

the Yankees, Billy Martin and all that stuff? Yeah. That was around in that era, Billy Martin era. Yeah. Early 70s, late 60s, like that. Wild time in New York City, right? Oh yeah. It was uncertain times. Let's say it like that. Okay. By the way, the hake was right. Corrected. There is a movie about the Coast Guard. It's called The Guardian. Okay. So there you go. I'm sorry. What year was it made? I don't know. 2007. Yeah. Larry, what's the worst hand in poker? The losing hand. Oh, good answer. I was hoping you were going to say two seven. Well. And then I was going to say no, actually. That's the textbook. It's pair of kings when another guy has pair of aces. Well, oh yeah. That sucks. I think that's kind of on the same

level as my other hands. Yeah. What's the biggest pie? I've had that scenario. What are some rules of the road that you like to observe? Keep it in my lane. Yes. I like that. Stay in your lane. Absolutely. Stay in your lane. What's your favorite highway? Or byway. There's a lot of blue and a lot of beautiful ones. Actually one that will probably be traveling along is the the Blue Ridge Parkway that travels through the Smoky Mountains, which is really a beautiful ride. Yes. Yes. We'll be doing that tomorrow. Yep. What about, are you a bridge guy or a tunnel guy? Good question, PFT. Thank you. I would be more of a bridge guy. I prefer bridges. Yeah. Those to tunnels with the big machinery

that I'm accustomed to dragging down the highways. Yes. You gotta know the height clearance on that if you want a tunnel. All the time. Make sure it fits. What's the biggest haul you've ever had? The biggest haul? Yeah. Crane. Oh, shit. Crane's freaking out. Crane within the city of New York and not only within the city of New York. My road days were over. I ran the road in the early 80s. I like that. And I was a building superintendent, resident manager of some of the most luxurious apartment buildings in Manhattan because my wife and I were on the road and then somehow my wife got pregnant and I had to have a child. So the road was not an option. You're playing roulette with your son's not listening to this. So I went from being on the road three months of the clip

to always being in my home. So would you ever stare into Larry Jr.'s eyes and be like, you stole the road from me? No, my son doesn't have any desire for this kind of. Yeah, but he stole it from you by being born. You're a road dog. No, he's not into that. He's into different things. Okay. All right. I have one last question for you. So we have a goldfish named Larry, famous goldfish. Went 60% in 2016 betting NFL games. We also believe in like ghosts, spirits, higher powers. We have a theory that you might be Larry to reincarnate thoughts. Well, my immediate thought on that is that that goldfish was devoured by the cat, big cat. I understand. This is something that I heard as I was walking around the back of this beautiful

bus. Yeah. Somebody told me that. That's true. Okay. Is that what happened? Yes. That's what we think happened. Well, we've had multiple one. I think one of the Larry's could probably put on me. One could definitely be put on PFT and one on Hank. We've all had our hand in killing a Larry. Don't don't drag me into your house. Didn't you kill Larry? You confirmed killed Larry. Yeah. We talked to death. You guys both killed Larry one. Yeah. We talked to death and they said that PFT killed Larry too. I was out of the country. So yeah, I don't know how that could happen. It was very convenient excuse, but I was definitely gone. Yeah. Little suspect, right? Oh, it's just trying to check the fact. See if you know if they actually line up if that was actually true,

that you the big cat did eat the goldfish. Do you like the goldfish was Larry, then you hate me. Yeah. Are you a swimmer? Yes. Okay. Larry's favorite. That checks out. Do you like football? Yes, I do. Oh, it's out. Check it out again. Interesting. Very interesting. You also like to gamble. Oh, yeah. Okay. I think you are Larry to reincarnate. We're going to roll with that until proven otherwise until you have a losing night. Right now you're one in one tonight. We'll see if I can fulfill those goldfishes shoes. Yes. Yes. That's a big things. Yeah. Big shoes to flippers. All right, Larry. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. It's going to be a fun week.

You're with us all week. Yeah, I've made a new friends. I feel like I'm with the old guy. Oh, crowd. Who's your favorite person on the bus? Excuse me? Who's your favorite person on the bus? I haven't decided yet. I haven't decided yet. That's fair. That's very fair. So far, me and you just went. No, he looked at me. He just winked at me. He looked at me right after I asked him the question. Yeah, he just winked at me. So it's clearly me. I didn't do that. Yeah. All right, Larry. Thank you so much. We will thank you. You're not going anywhere. You're with us. Well, you're not going anywhere without me. True. Wait, let's finish that. I can drive the bus. Well, I'm not allowed to let you know. But I can. I actually could. Right. Legally,

you cannot. No, not legally. What if you reach your hours, your maximum hours in a day? Then we pull over and I go to sleep. But what if we got to get there? Am I the guy? He's bounded down. Okay, Larry, we'll talk about this. One last question. Give me some road lingo. Some cool phrases that we can use that you picked up. Like a lull. Like, get the fuck out of the lane? Yeah. There you go. Boom. Don't fucking cut in front of me while I'm doing 70 and you're doing 65 and I'm sharing 60,000 pounds. It's hard to stop. And the big cat don't like to get thrown around when I hit the brakes. That's a big load slipping around. Yes. All right. Thank you. My problems. Yeah. All right. We'll see you every day, every

single morning. And we're off to Virginia. Then we're going to Nashville. And we have a very special guest who we actually taped a couple of weeks ago. We've held it off for Super Bowl week. Playing our cards. Everyone get excited for a very special guest coming on Monday. Love you talking away. So I don't know what I'm to say I'll say anyway. Today's another day to find you Shining away. I've been coming for your love. Okay. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two. Needless to say. I'm all set in. But I'll be stolen away. Early learning that life is okay. Say out to me. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me. Take me on.

I'll be gone in a day or two. It's part of my tape presented by Barstool Sports.