Pardon My Take - Bengals DE Sam Hubbard, Tom Brady Retires + Uncle Chaps

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Tom Brady has retired, officially. Hank gives his thoughts a;nd we break down the insane stats Tom Brady has that will never be touched (00:02:22-00:30:51). Coach hirings plus Brian Flores is suing the NFL. (00:30:51-00:36:51) Hot Seat/Cool Throne and The drive to the 405 is off to a rough start (00:36:51-01:04:20). Bengals DE Sam Hubbard joins the show to talk about going to the SB, what it means as a Cincinnati native, Joe Burrow’s coolness and what his SB story will be (01:04:20-01:44:22). We finish with a catch up with our good friend Uncle ChapsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, Tom Brady officially retires. We have Hank's poem I think he's writing. Who knows? His reaction. All the takes.

Adam Schefter was right. Hot seat, cool throne. And then we have an awesome, awesome interview for you Bengals fans, Sam Hubbard. Cincinnati native. He has made the big sack on Patrick Holmes had an incredible year. We talked to him about going to the Super Bowl, the playoffs, Joe Burrow, everything. And then we have our good friend Uncle Chaps on the show to catch up with Chaps. So an awesome pack show for you and is all brought to you by our friends at Cross Country

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Cross Country Mortgage LLC, NMLS 3029, all loan subject to underwriting approval. Cross Country Mortgage LLC, NMLS 3029, all loan subject to underwriting approval. Welcome to part of my take presented by crosscountrymortgage.com, go to crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool today and talk to a Cross Country Mortgage Representative. Today is Wednesday, February 2nd and Tom Brady has officially retired. Thank you, Tom. Tom Brady. Jeff Darlington was right.

Jeff Darlington was right, Adam Schefter was doing, I, you know what? P-Boy, I gotta give him credit. He started liking some tweets that were, you know, that were bashing him over the last few days. He deserves this. Like, if it goes both ways here, we had some fun at his expense. We were all hoping that Brady was going to do a spike tour right in his face, but Schefter was right. So he gets to dunk on everyone. Well, no, he can't dunk.

He gets to take a jump shot. Probably can't even get rimmed. Yeah, he probably takes a jump shot at her face. He's got a torn meniscus. Yeah, so where do we want to go from here, Hank? Let's keep on, Schefter. You asked me a question. Darius Butler tweeted this, and I'm just curious because you guys are big J's.

You cover the sport. You care about the players. I thought Darius Butler made an interesting point. He said, everybody's got a job to do. Schefti and Darlington are two of the best at what they do. I get it, but damn. Two of my former teammates slash QBs had their retirements fucked up. Not cool in my book.

I think guys at least deserve that, my two cents. Okay, so how did Tom Brady have his retirement fucked up? He was on vacation. You guys have no respect for vacations. That's true. In Hank's mind, if Schefter and Darlington hadn't reported this on Saturday, Brady would've been more prepared and would've had a glowing long note about how great New England was and his time with the Patriots was.

But because it was preemptive, he kind of got rushed into it and just forgot about you. I think, and this could be denial, I think it's coming. I don't think that, I think it was always the plan. He technically was a buccaneer. He's a consummate professional. So technically, today he retired from the buccaneers. He is going to New England. He is signing a one-day Patriot contract.

There is going to be a ceremony. Has that been reported? Yes. I thought that was a fake account. There was one blue check mark retweeted it, but I have- No, I saw one an hour ago. It was a fake account. No, there was a blue check mark, but I don't know how valid it is.

Okay, so there was one that said it's happening tomorrow. That was fake. But then another one that was like Tom Brady has talked to, he talked to Mr. Kraft. He is going to sign a Patriot. It didn't say date or anything, but it's happening. So for anyone who missed, I don't know how you missed, but not everyone's online all the time, but Tom Brady listed, it was a notes app of retirement where he first posted a picture. Hank, did you see that it was the picture of him in a box uniform against the Patriots?

Someone noted that. I don't know if that was specifically chosen for any reason. He was a very run-in social media. Yeah, he probably doesn't for his retirement. And then he posted a bunch, a series of notes thanking the box, the Buccaneers organization, Alex Guerrero, the fans of the box, his family, his agents. He thanked the city of Tampa and I think the city of St. Petersburg. Yeah, he did.

He threw in St. Petersburg. The entire region. And he didn't thank the Patriots or Patriot fans. That is the big question coming from his retirement. And my initial reaction was like, oh, it's got to be coming. It's got to be coming. There was a lot of backlash. A lot of Patriots fans were very upset.

My group texts with my friends from home was, was firing away. And then like three hours later after the backlash, the Patriots put up a, you know, statement and Tom Brady basically, it looked like it may have been a, he realized there was a lot of backlash. So he has to say something. So we kind of just quoted it with a very like, love you Patriots nation. It's nothing but love here. But it did come across like.

An afterthought. He maybe wasn't thinking about it. Yeah. No, it was a quote. Which is not what I think. And that was, that was tough evidence against the contrary. So a spin zone though would be like, he is so bad at quitting. It makes me even more of a winner.

Like this is a pretty bad retirement. Well, Schefter rushed him. He did rush him. He rushed his ass. He played his, yeah. He told you don't partner. Brady made a mistake of partnering up with the ESPN because ESPN, as they have in the past, they fucked them.

They had him in this document series. And then they fucking leaked the news before he was ready. When he's on vacation on a boat with his family, trying to enjoy his time off. And he can't. He's probably. I know people are saying like, it's ridiculous to react that way. If you're a Patriots fan. But I do think it's kind of weird that he didn't.

Like it was weird seeing his retirement entire list. And it was like, wait, is this just retirement from the box? It was, it was a little odd for someone who's very calculated. You can't, you can't say that it wasn't just a little like, huh, that's weird. It was very odd. And this one I was arguing with my friends about it. Yes. Tom Brady technically owes Patriots fans nothing.

But you still would like to see it like you still tip of the cap. Yeah. Tip of the cap. Anything like I'm not mad at Tom Brady. I'm not going to hold it against him. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I would be lying as if I said I was scrolling and I wasn't waiting for, you know, like you said, here comes my socks.

Yeah. To the Patriots fans, like Brady four to the Patriots fans. Thank you. I got arrested for me and defended my name. I got suspended by Roger Goodell. And, you know, we're there for 20 years as I was a 23 year old. Now I'm 40. Imagine if he thinks Roger Goodell.

No. Oh my God. Roger Goodell thanked him, which was a little like, okay, do cool Roger. He ate your guts. Do you think Darlington is, do you think his source was Antonio Brown? Because we know they're very close. Maybe he got his source ahead of time. Like Tom Brady mentioned it and Antonio Brown's in the next room in his bedroom.

Darlington has been right about all the Brady stuff. Like he's been, he's, he's very close to Brady's like camp. He was right about Brady. Let's see if this was a direct shot at Hank. He was right about Brady. Are you calling Jeff? Yeah. He was right about Brady going to from New England or leaving New England.

He was on that early. Yeah, we could have just called him through the. Yeah. Hey, Jeff, you're on, you're on part of my take right now. Heads up. I'm not trying to shame and sharp you. Do you think that Tom Brady's retirement and the lack of mentioning of the New England Patriots fans was a direct shot at Hank?

But no, I think that, I think that the tribute to Hank is still coming. That's a. Thank you. Thank you. That's going to be a highly produced video. I was going to mention that in my previous reporting, but I figured I didn't want to, you know, ruin things for Hank. Okay.

Thank you, Jeff. He says, thank you very much. That was nice. PFT is so mad about that answer. Yeah. So, so from, from your conversations with Tom, has he, has he mentioned Hank to you ever? I'm not trying to make anything about me. He talks about him.

He appreciates him. He loves his continued support and loyalty in hopes that he will take this next ride, whatever that is with him. And I will. I think I speak for everybody when I, when I say that, not just Tom. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Jeff.

I appreciate the insight on everything. And congratulations on being right. That's always the goal, isn't it? Yep. You got it. See you, buddy. Okay. So Tom Brady thinks about you, Hank.

Is that enough? It was always enough. I, again, like I said, and Jeff just confirmed it, Shadow Line, Shadow Line Productions, it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. The video. It is still weird that it didn't.

There was nothing to it. But he was rushed. Yeah. Yeah, he was rushed. That's true. He was rushed. There were a lot of illusions to the video. Like imagine, I know it started, it is kind of funny how we talked about the, the last

episode of the last or whatever the fuck it is, Man in the Arena and how that all kind of came to fruition. So think about this and, you know, today's Bella's point, Adam Schefter absolutely fucked over Andrew Luck, like had the most awkward retirement ceremony of all time. That was bad. On the field. Bad scumbag move. Brady on vacation, trying to fucking make money for ESPN and make his last episode about

his retirement, which I'm sure there's going to be an unbelievable montage to Patriots fans. That was his original plan, Schefter fucking ruined it. And so he had, he had to come out and say that he had to do this. All right. I'm going to retire from the Bucks. But my plan, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm counterpoint. It's emotional. In defense of P-Boy, he is in a contract here. He's got to get the scoops. He's in a contract here. And he's done so much for ESPN. He's improved his stuff, not only internally with ESPN, but also externally with other companies.

Yes. So there's, there's got to be a sense though that you're like, Tom Brady, Tom Brady does one. You were trying to be mad. You like to shift my, you like to shape my narratives. I like to, I like to rattle your cage a little bit. But I don't think Hank's that mad. Like I've, I'm just calling it like I see it.

I think he, if nothing comes, I'll be curious, but I don't think that's going to happen. You have to admit though, big cat. It's funny how Hank has like built up and has said there's a giant, specially produced montage that he's been working on for years. There is. There might be. To the Patriots fans. Dude, he has his shadow like he has.

He's got the production company. He's doing a fucking documentary series. Why wouldn't it come? Like do you, do you think it's not coming? The montage? Yeah. This is like the Isaiah Thomas thank you video that never came. No, it's not.

It will come now because like it might not have been planned all along, but it's clear people are like, what the hell is going on? It had. Okay. Yeah. Maybe. It is interesting how. I think it has pointed out.

Because that's how the whole thing got leaked. The picture of the game against the Patriots. Yes. Someone tweeted that. I was like, well, that's kind of weird. Just. That part was weird. That part is weird.

Yes. The whole thing is a little weird to me. I was like, okay. I mean, I guess technically he did retire from the Patriot or, you know, he, he said his thank you when he left the Patriots. Now he's retiring from football. He's retiring from the box, but it did feel like, wait, why wouldn't he at least mention unless there's something big coming, which I, I actually agree with Hank.

There probably is. There's definitely an element of denial and, you know, you've got to trust your partner who's, who's been there for you for 20 years and just hope that, you know, what, what you're seeing isn't, isn't the whole story. It's like somebody dying and they leave their entire estate to their most recent wife. They're like 20 year old wife that they married six months ago. None of the kids. Meanwhile, you're over here.

You've got, you've got grandkids to put through college. Yeah. And you're like, what am I? Yeah. What, what, what, did this mean anything? That, that is kind of how it feels. What do you say, Billy? I had a wild take.

Okay. Tom Brady. You want to say your other wild take you said off air that was pretty wild. I'll, I'll get to that. Tom Brady retired because he had AIDS. No. No, what? He retired because he bit his lip in the divisional round.

Just saying. Actually, you're actually right. That's all I'm saying. He didn't bite his lip. He got, he got bloody. He got bloody lip. But it's like his family sees that probably he's a sentimental guy. Right.

They saw the blood for the first time. And then it was kind of like, oh, like, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Tom Brady on retires, comes back, plays for the Patriots. And that's why he's not thanking the Patriots yet. Oh. Look, he's like, look, this, this take is going to be a one day contract.

Yeah. But he's, he's, this is 3D chess. He's using this to go to the paid back to the Patriots because the Buccaneers, he doesn't think and take him to another Super Bowl, but the Patriots could. Yes, Billy. And that's why he was so gracious to the Buccaneers. Yes. Right.

Yes. Buccaneers can't say because they got their own post. They're like, look, I said the Glazers were great. Yes. Exactly. Hi, Billy. I could actually see Tom Brady coming back, signing a one day contract. And on his one day contract, he actually goes and practices.

And then he's like, you know what, I think there's still some juice left in this arm. Mentors, Mac Jones, Mac Jones takes the backseat, then, you know, the saga continues, and. I like it, Billy. It's a good take. Yeah. It just, it would, it would happen in Gronk's future, totally dependent on all that. Gronk probably. Gronk got a house in Foxborough, owns the Esports team in Foxborough.

Gronk. Yeah. I imagine Gronk showing up to OTAs and being like, where's Tom? Like, he retired. It was a one day contract. Oh, fuck. Gronk. They could probably say like, we signed, we saw it in Tom, Gronk, you want to come

back to New England? And he was like, sure. And then he doesn't realize that Tom's not actually going to play this season. Right. Right. It is a weird spot. We're in right now though, because I think Hank doesn't want to get mad, but is ready to maybe get mad.

And PFT really desperately wants Hank to be mad right now. That's a great summation of where we're at. I want him to own his emotions, big cat. I don't like to deny, Hank said several times in this, in this podcast already like, this might be denial. We'll see. Right. All the facts have to come out.

He's standing back and standing by to get mad. He is. That's what's happening right now. He's being a very, he's a proud boy. I'm not going to throw away 20 years and six Super Bowls for one Instagram post that you know, the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Right. But we'll see.

Now, when Tom does make this inevitable, like Oscar worthy montage about New England Patriots fans and specifically you, isn't it going to feel like he wasn't going to do this until you got so mad at him and you pressured him into it? Because fucking P-Boy. Yeah. P-Boy. This was all going to be an episode. Okay.

I think in Tom's head, it was all going to be in the episode. And when the episode dropped, the announcement would all come out. Yep. And P-Boy. Yeah. And P-Boy fucked it up. He fucked it all up. And he couldn't like sit there and pretend to hem and haul for two weeks because he was

getting like bombarded. I mean, it is a weird, it's weird how it all went down, but he is retired, he's greatest of all time. I actually had Billy look up. I said, Billy, find me all the crazy Tom Brady stats so he can give it to us because I do think he deserves that like incredible career. He's going to be the like spot where everyone compares every quarterback going forward unfairly, but that is what it will be.

How about this take? He's like the Bill Russell of football, except he played in the modern era. Whoa. That's good. You know, Bill Russell's numbers are like insane. It's like 10 championships, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but it's like, oh, but you know, he played so long ago that when you look at Brady's numbers compared to his competitors, that's what it is.

It's yeah. I got them all. Seven Super Bowls will not, I'm going to safely, I really do not think that will be touched by a starting quarterback. There's only been four, there's four quarterbacks in the NFL who have three Super Bowls or more. Think about that. So it's not like it's very, very rare, rare air to just have three or more. There's two guys with four, Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana.

And then Tom Brady has seven. The stats that take Tom Brady's numbers and then they combine like Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and then Brady's are still higher. Those are the ones that are mind blowing. You know what sucks though, is that they added the game. So a lot of his like yardage stats, TD stats. Those, those I agree. Those will be passed because like think about Mahomes when he started, the time that Mahomes

started like Brady still played in an NFL that wasn't all passing. Like there was some time there where it wasn't, you know, Peyton Manning was doing it, but not everyone. So I think those stats will probably fall, but seven Super Bowls as a starting quarterback. I, that's really, really hard to do. What's also crazy is he did play in those two different areas where they changed the rules because of what his Patriots team did specifically to Peyton Manning, which ended up benefiting Tom Brady way more than it ever benefited Peyton Manning.

Yeah. And what was it? I mean, you'll get to stats, but the one that's just, what do you play 20 years total? Was that it or 22? He played 49% of his lifetime and I'll give you the exact. But he put, he made the Super Bowl half of his years, right? Uh, let me, he's like, he's more likely to make a Super Bowl than Steph Curry is 23. He made 12.7% of all Super Bowls.

That's crazy. All Super Bowls. All Super Bowls. Actually he might have won. Let me get to the stats. Okay. Let's go. All right.

I'm excited for these. 35 playoff wins. Shit. Whoa. I'm so sorry that we didn't get to the 36. Maybe. I like that you let off with that. No, maybe.

That's a great callback. Maybe. Maybe. 35 playoff wins. Stuck on 35 forever. Oh no. Mr. 35. Most passing yards ever, most passing touchdowns ever, most completions ever, most playoff

passing yards ever, most playoff passing yards, most playoff passing touchdowns ever, most playoff completions ever, most wins ever, most playoff wins ever, most Super Bowl wins ever, most Super Bowl MVPs ever. This is Hank's favorite fucking rap ever. Great. Keep going. Tom Brady has won 12.7% of all Super Bowls in history. So that's won.

That's crazy. Yeah. And he's bent. Yeah. Go ahead. Keep going. Quick math. Okay.

He's bent to 16.8. Is that right? No, that's a quick math. Oh. It's a quick math, 17.2. Tom Brady's career gambling stats against the spread. I asked him to put this in. He was 211 for 144 with eight pushes.

211 to 144, that's incredible. It's even more incredible that he was the favorite the entire time. Yes. And he's still a master. Covered spreads. I know that those stats don't get kept in Canton, but those stats matter. There should be a gambling hall of fame. Yeah.

Absolutely. He's in it. Teddy Bridgewater. Yep. Coach O. Interim Ed. Team win total over, like team wins in a season. 16-3-2.

Whoa. Okay. So they hit the Vegas odds 16 times out of story. And those were in the prime years, those were like 12 and a half. They were absurd. I don't think it's ever been lower than 10. Yeah. Yeah, that's nuts.

Okay. Like those pushes were probably like 13 or 14 win seasons. If you were to bet $100 on whatever team you played on winning the conference, you'd be plus $4,050. That's nuts. Okay. If you bet $100 on whatever team he was on winning the NFL title, he would have had $9,550. So if you just bet Tom Brady to win the Super Bowl every single year for his entire career.

If you take out the 2008 ACL year, Tom Brady was a starting quarterback for 20 seasons. In those, he had more Super Bowl wins, seven, than seasons that ended before the conference championship round. Six. What? By the way. Now that's insane. I'll be blogging all of these and giving credits to all the people who gave these stats.

Say that one again, because that one's insane. So he had, so he played 20 years and he had seven Super Bowl wins. And there was only six times in his 20 years where his season didn't get to the conference championship. Exactly. Wow. So these are Tom Brady's stats from his 20s. He had 21,000 yards, 147 touchdowns, three Super Bowl championships and two Super Bowl

MVPs in his 20s. That's one Hall of Fame career in his 30s. He had 40,000 yards passing, 309 touchdowns, two-time MVP, two-time offensive player of the year, one Super Bowl championship and one Super Bowl MVP. That's another Hall of Fame career. That was his first. That was his first. It was his prime years.

Yeah. In his 40s. This is stupid. He had 23,000 yards, 168 touchdowns, three Super Bowl championships, two Super Bowl MVPs and one League MVP. That's crazy. That's three Hall of Fame careers. I think for every decade.

I think he's the best winner of all time. Yeah. He's the most winningest winner of all time. And it's, it's, it really, I know he said this on Monday, but like he beat time. He did not fall off a cliff. It's weird because I think a lot of people knowing that Brady kept on saying, I'm going to play forever and play forever, everyone thought it was going to be like a Super Bowl that he walks out on, right?

Like he almost like a Peyton Manning, you know, maybe his arms a little shot. It's almost perfect how he did go out. He went out like almost coming back 27 to three guns blazing. His last touchdown throw is that bombed the Mike Evans in a year that he had his most yards. Like you, you don't, you won't think of an old Tom Brady. You just don't. We need to track down that ball.

Billy's had on the case to try to find the ball that Mike Evans gave away illegally. It might add was Mike Evans, an agent of the team that could give away team that ball. That ball is worth a lot of money. Yeah. He's thrown touchdowns to 92 different players. Number one, being Gronkowski with 102 touchdowns, two to Julian Elman with 41 touchdowns. Chow Jules, three Randy Moss with 40 touchdowns, Welker with 38 and Deion Branch with 28. Okay.

And also a couple of wood head. Every birthday Danny Woodhead. We forgot about Danny's birthday. Birthday week. Anything else? Yeah. We all have more. Oh, okay.

In the 20 seasons he started, not including his ACL season, he played in 10 Super Bowls. So there was a 50% chance that he was going to the Super Bowl in the, in his career. Nuts. Brady's teams made the playoffs in 19 of his 20 seasons and he's won the division 18 times. Real question. What happened in 2002? So that was the year they didn't go to the playoffs if he wasn't injured.

Yeah. Yeah. After they won their Super Bowls. Hangover. They were three out of four. They won three out of four Super Bowls. So that was the year they didn't win it. And it was like their first Super Bowl was kind of a defense.

He was more of a, you know, he was, he was still coming into his own. He was nine and seven that year. So let down year. Not that bad. So do you want to hear how many wins he had in each season he started? Please. Oh one. He had 11 wins.

Nice. He had nine wins. Oh three. He had 14 wins. Oh four. 14 wins. Oh five. 10 wins.

Oh six. 12 wins. Oh seven. 16 wins. Oh nine. 10 wins. 10. 14 wins.

Okay. I'm going to stop it right here. I feel like that's enough. That was like nine halfway there. 13. 13 wins and 11. And then 12 wins till 15 every year. This is a Mike Francis segment.

11 wins in 16, 13 and 17, 11 and 18, 12 and 19, 11 and 20, then 13 and 21. Should we do how many playoff wins he got in each of those years? Hey, do you have a poem for him? You said that you were going to write Tom Brady a poem. Wait, here's, there's more stats. I had to get it prepared. I don't. I'll get it.

It will coincide with the video that he releases. Yeah. More stats. Yeah. The days between Tom Brady's birth and Tom Brady being drafted were 8,292. The days between Tom Brady getting drafted and retiring, 7,961. So if you do the math, he's in the NFL for 49% of his lifetime, basically half of his lifetime.

Okay. That's nuts. There's more. Okay. In 22 seasons, Brady missed only 15 games due to injury, all in 2008. And one knee. Yeah. So one knee injury and a four game suspension, those are the only games he lost.

He missed. He was the top two in passing, rushing, receiving yards amongst all NFL players, 40 years or older. And the New England population increased, had huge birth rate increases in every year after a Super Bowl win. Okay. Bonk. He also makes way less than his wife, Giselle.

Giselle has almost a net worth of a billion dollars of career earnings. So he's a feminist. And he makes way less than that. She's loved that. Love that. Number one in NFL career earnings and around 300 million. So the biggest sport in America, the best player ever, still doesn't make as much as wife.

Love it. Flex. That's a big flex. Four or five stay home days. Yeah. And his wife is like the most beautiful person in the world. Inside and out. So Tom Brady.

Yeah. I was saying inside, but also out. Yeah. You're right. She is a supermodel too. But Tom Brady is saying like, I, you know what? I have won more than any person will ever win in their life. In the most important sport in America.

And I'm going to walk away from that so that I can hang out with my gorgeous wife, who's a billionaire. Yeah. Damn. It's crazy. All of it's crazy. That, that state, that word, that sentence alone puts you in the hall of fame. Yeah.

What a career. Insane. Anything, anything else Hank? Mount Rushmore. On the. Yeah. It's greeny. That was such a greeny fucking tweet.

I think Tom Brady is on the Mount Rushmore of sports in America. Like just totally like this is my input on Tom Brady. Yeah. No shit greeny. I would, you know what? Very much looking forward to the, like we said, Bill Belichick loves the football history. When he does do these, you know, retirement notes or whatever, I think the one he gives to Brady will be very, very detailed, very emotional.

I hope, I hope that it's not this petty beef that, you know, the PFTs and media pours of the world are trying to. You're talking about Florida there, right? Whoever. Everyone, everyone, everyone that's trying to separate Tom Brady from the Patriots and make it seem like it's us versus him thing, including maybe Tom Brady. No. Well, if he doesn't release the video, right?

That's what I'm saying. If, if, if he doesn't release a video, that would mean Belichick's probably not going to release like a heartfelt emotional statement. And that would hurt. Yeah. Belichick's just going to give like a line at the combine. But that's the thing. What does Tom Brady mean to you?

That's what people, but it's like when Belichick, you know, it's like when they ask him about like a punter and he fucking talks for 20 minutes. Like when he, when it's football history related and he does need to open up, he does open up. So it's like you, you would hope. I don't know if he's going to open up though. I think he's. Of course you don't.

I know. I'm saying knowing Belichick a little bit. I think he's going to say like, Tom, you were, you were the best player ever coach. No, I, I think what Hank is saying is that Belichick does have moments where like even the bill and bill 30 for 30 was where his parcels like he enjoys talking about the history of the NFL. So like when Tom Brady is no longer a competitor in the NFL, he will talk about him as like part of the history of the NFL.

I would just, I would put this whole retirement saga on the Mount Rushmore of, of, uh, stupid manufacturer drama from the media Mount Rushmore of, of crazy retirements, like the most drama filled retirements. You have Brett Favre, Andrew Luck, Andrew Luck, Jordan coming back, coming back a couple times, Bud Dwyer at his press conference and Barbara of the horse. There you go. My favorite Tom Brady memory is I was watching, it was a Patriots cults game and I was at my grandpa's house sitting on the couch and Brady was warming up and my grandpa just pointed

at him and said, I think I was like, I think I was like six, five or six and he just points at Tom Brady and goes, see that guy, super bowl winner, you know, like good looking guy, has a super model wife. If you want to be like anybody on this planet and like model your life after anybody be Tom Brady and that always until you made it here. Yeah. Yeah. That is.

Yeah. What would Tom Brady do? He'd want to hang out with Hank. There we go. Yeah. Jeff Darlington told us that he reported it first on this podcast. Um, okay. Uh, anything else before we get to hot seat, cool throne, we've got a, I think a couple

coaching carousel things. Yep. The Vegas, uh, the Vegas Raiders hired Josh McDaniels. Yep. I remember when he came back from Indianapolis, Belichick, he was like, I'm going to open up my world to you and teach you all the things that I haven't taught you before. So I think this time it's with coach's blessing, right? Yes.

He sent him out there and he said, okay, go, go West young man. So I think it's a good hire, right? I feel like if you want a guy that's going to get the most out of Derek Carr, McDaniels makes sense. Yeah. And, um, I mean, he was making, I heard he was making $4 million as coordinator for the Patriots, which is pretty crazy. But obviously McDaniels, like he's got an ego, not in a bad way.

I'm just saying he wants to run the show again, uh, Mark Davis, his haircut just gets funnier and funnier. I saw that press conference. It gets higher. Yeah. How does he, how does he go out in public in this? But he just keeps on doing, he keeps running the same play. It makes me laugh every single time.

Um, we also kind of swaggy. I like his haircut. Yeah. Cause it's different. It is different. It's different. No one will ever copy Mark Davis's haircut. Yes.

So nobody's going to walk down the street and somebody will go up to him and be like, Hey, are you Mark Davis and be wrong about it? You see him coming. Um, we also had, uh, Brian Dable get out of his truck with, uh, his suit and everyone made a big deal about that. I love the truck videos. I love the, like, let's get to work videos where people just drive into a parking lot and then they walk into a building.

Yeah. And I, I imagine like the little time we spent with Brian Dable and like what I'd know of the guy, I bet you he like came to work in his sweatsuit and then there, and then the social media intern was like, uh, coach, can you actually put on your suit and go around the block real quick? And, and we got to videotape this so that everyone knows that we're serious about getting to work. Uh-huh.

And then there was a, there was a helmet controversy. Right. I didn't even follow that. I didn't follow that. He like had, he had like Mike Glennon's helmet or something. It was very, no, I was saying it was attention, lack of attention to detail. It's like, yeah. Yeah.

That doesn't have anything to do with playing football. Yeah. Right. And also like you're hiring a new coach. That means that your franchise probably isn't that great right now. Yeah. So you got to give new coaches a little bit of a leash when it comes to knowing your team's operations and their traditions.

Right. Like there's some, there's a learning curve to that. I remember when the football team hired Jim Zorn and he said, your colors are maroon and black. He just needed a couple of years to figure it out and it'll be, it'll all be fine. Right. Um, but the whole, I think the social media teams like got together this off season because you know, they talk, they have little conferences where they share best practices and they're

like, you know what's going to be hot in 2022, driving to work videos. Yeah. Showing up early. Guys getting out of their truck and then walking through a door. That's going to do numbies. It's just confidence. You know, it gives you, it gives a fan base confidence being like, you know what, before the sun even rises, they're at work.

I do like Dable though. I think he's a good hire. Yeah. No, I like him too. I mean, we had him in the show. It was awesome. So hopefully he'll come back on. Uh, anything else?

Any other hires? Oh, uh, the Jaguars hired Byron left, which like three days ago, we'll talk to chaps about that. The Texans are interviewing the interviewed floras and Josh McCown. I saw it too. They're going to hire McCown. I think. Yeah.

Florio was all over that a couple of years ago. Yeah. McCown, I think is going to be a head coach there. And then the Saints, I think are looking at just promoting Dennis Allen, right? They're going to interview some other people. That's by the way, because now that Brady's retired, I think we as a group should do a group bet on one more year. Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons winning the South because that's, that's a, that's a disaster

of a division now with like Matt rule. What are they going to do? A quarterback. You don't have Sean Payton anymore. What are they going to do? A quarterback. You got the box who I feel like if they can't get someone in place right now, like if they can get Aaron Rogers, obviously they put it back together, but there's a lot of guys

that I feel like we're going to take less money to try to win a Super Bowl. What that might, that might like unravel pretty quickly. Jimmy G. Jimmy G. To the box. I don't know. Falcons, man. What about, isn't James still in a contract in New Orleans?

I don't know what his contract situation is. He also, he, when did he tear his ACL? It was October, I think. He might be a little, it might be a little funky for him. You think he's a slow healer? I've seen his training videos. I don't know. They're going to have like a dog hanging out, like lock on with its jaws to his knee and

he's going to be running wind sprints in it. Yeah. He'll be ready in like two weeks. James Winston signed a one-year contract with the Saints, so he is a free agent. Ooh. So he can go anywhere he wants. But right now it says on spot right, yeah, no, I think he's a free agent. So someone go get James.

Someone go get James. James is, James holds the keys to, to funny quarterback play. So we need James. Yeah. The Washington football team is announcing its new name this morning. Yep. I'm going to operate under the assumption that it's the commanders. Yep.

I think. And here's my entire thoughts on the Washington commanders. If you win games, people will be fine with it. Yep. It's a perfectly boring name. It's almost like a perfect name for a new NFL franchise if you were starting a brand new one, where it's like just so bland that you almost forget about it after you hear it.

So, you know, people are going to hate because it's, they were going to hate no matter what the name was because the internet's going to have 40 hours where they just roast everything. But then if you lose, the name's going to suck. If you win, it's a fine name. Yeah. No, I was just going to add that it's just deal with the 24 hours that everyone roasts it and then no one will remember anymore. Yeah.

So who cares? Like this, what are the, what are the Indians now, the spiders? Guardians. Guardians. Okay. So I already forgot. Yeah. See, guardians and commanders, they're kind of, they're very similar.

And you forget. And then it's like, you see it and it's like, oh, I don't care. Football's on. Yeah. Put the stadium in DC. That's what I care about. Yeah. Maybe win a playoff game.

Let's go to a hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat, cool throne brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. What do you do when you need a moment to chill? How do you hit the reset button? You grab a Coors Light. Coors Light is mountain cold refreshment made to chill. Coors Light is cold logger, cold filtered and cold package. It's literally made to chill.

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going to CoorsLight.com slash take, celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado, CoorsLight.com slash take, crack open a Coors Light. Make sure those mountains are blue, CoorsLight.com slash take. My hot seat is the MLB. Uh-oh. The MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association made little progress in their latest meeting and a delay to the upcoming season feels inevitable. Frank's going to be mad.

That was reported at 340 today, not too long ago. All-time stock graphic, Jake pointed this out on Twitter. The photo that accompanied it was a baseball with a chain and lock on it and a baseball on top. Oh no. That's some stock photo for an announcement. I love that. Uh, yeah.

You know what? I don't, I don't make it a practice to care about baseball until like three days before opening day. I just, I hope that, I hope that they just figured out silently, like figured out baseball. This is one sport that really can't afford to lose any fans that are out there. Yeah. Just, just fucking figure it out. We don't, like, don't tell us how it gets done.

Just get it done. Yeah. What is it? Because the PFT is right. Like, if, if April, if April comes around on the player's side, if April comes around and it's like, Hey, where's baseball? We're going to be pissed. And we weren't going to be pissed before that.

No. So you got to do it now. Like I'm not going to care that pitchers and catchers haven't reported, although actually no, I'm like, I'm going to care a little bit right after the Super Bowl when it's usually that, that one day that comes like two months before anybody sees it coming when it's like pitchers and catchers report today and you're like, wait, there's snow on the ground outside and I like that one day. Yeah.

That I'll, I'll be willing to sacrifice that one day as long as it's just there in April. If there's April baseball, I'm fine with it, but yeah, I really, I couldn't bring myself to care less about what they're actually negotiating because it's so complicated that I don't understand. Just pay the players a little bit more. There you go. End of story. Boom. Yep.

Speaking of things I couldn't care less about, my cool throne is me and my stubbornness of the past two or three weeks, my group text with all my family members and a lot of my Twitter feed has been hijacked by this stupid fucking wordle game. Never played it. Didn't give in. I was like, I don't like words. I don't like to read. I'm not getting involved.

They got bought by the New York Times and now people are mad. They're like, you know, it's been ruined. Jumped a shark. We beat it. Yeah. So I think hopefully this is the beginning of the end and people stop posting those stupid boxes because no one fucking cares about your score. I love it.

I love it. So we made a pact on this show that we were going to, we were going to hold out until the wordle went away. Jake. I've been playing it. I play it. I don't post. I think it's very annoying when people post.

I've also been secretly playing it. I got no problem with people playing it. Yeah. The post thing is annoying. My group text is like, you know, usually it doesn't really pop off unless something's going on. There's a conversation every fucking day. It's like six people with their wordle score.

It's like, uh. Yeah. I don't, I don't post it because that's weird, but I have been playing it. I actually did. I love you guys. I keep it packed and I stick to it. I read, uh, the backstory behind how it was developed, which is kind of cool. The guy made it to impress his wife who loves word games.

So we just made it as like a fun thing for her. Now he sold it and he's a millionaire and then I saw some people getting mad at him for selling this. Like this guy doesn't owe you anything. Okay. I understand that you're a long time fan of his and that he's been very good to you and giving you hours and hours of entertainment, but that doesn't mean that he owes you anything when he decides to make a career move for himself.

Correct. Just cause you're a fan. You're a nerdle, which is a math equation. I did it for the first time. It was fun. Cut his mic off. You'll probably play at PFT. You'll get us to do a pack.

It was a good time. I was not going to post the square. I don't do math. You guys know that. Um, all right. Uh, your hot seat, cool to run PFT. My hot seat is thumbs, but thumbs on the hot seat this week. Kenny Pickett had initial hand measurement that was eight and a quarter inches, which

would put him in the zero percentile for NFL quarterbacks, all time small hands, which is why I noticed he didn't answer a question about his hands when he was on part of my take. Um, but plot twist, he's actually got an issue with his hand that affects the hand size. He's double-jointed, not a drug guy. He's double-jointed in his thumb. So it, it makes it like he's playing claw grip on the football. Yeah.

It's very bizarre. You have it Billy? I also have double-jointed thumbs. Yeah. When you see it, it looks like he's just not stretching his hand out. I, I don't understand. Like I can pop my thumb out. Yeah.

Like that. Yeah. His couldn't, his couldn't like fully go all the way out. It was very weird. It's like, he's like this, like making the claw with his thumb. Yeah. So he's doing exercises and stretches to increase the width of his hand. I'm sure he'll be fine by draft day.

We still are a Kenny Pickett podcast here. Correct. Um, if he needs any, Billy will come and, and, and straighten your, as a fellow quarterback with double-jointed thumbs, Billy will take care of your thumbs. Kenny Pickett. I have a question about Kenny Pickett and the glove thing. So my one thing about the glove thing is that when you get new gloves, they're stickier and they get less sticky over time.

So is he, for consistency, is he showing up with new gloves at every game? I think he's changing them like routinely, maybe not new every game, but I think he routinely changes them. Cause I've seen them, they look fresh because they don't look worn in gloves. Yeah. Cause that's my only thing about it's grip. The reason people like big hands for the ball is grip and the gloves help with grip, but then it's consistency with throwing with gloves.

Right. If it gets slicker over time. Next time we have on, we'll ask him. Breaking moves, breaking moves. Hank just sent this in the PMT group chat here. Brian Flores is suing the NFL and the giants alleging racism and hiring includes private techs from Belichick. He also says that Steven Ross, the owner of the Miami Dolphins offered to pay him $100,000

for every loss during the 2019 season to help the team get a better draft spot. Wow. Ross was pissed when he kept winning this. If this is true, Roger Godel should probably get Steven Ross out of the league. Whoa. It also is crazy because what he's saying right now is that the suit includes techs from Bill Belichick that appear to show him congratulating Brian Flores on getting the Giants job, but mistakenly believing he was texting Brian Dabel.

He said that's crazy. Sorry I fucked this up. I double checked and misread the text. I think they're naming Brian Dabel. I'm sorry about that. And this was three days before Flores even had his interview. Bill. So Belichick was, oh man, that's bad, but also that's definitely Belichick's just doing that

to. Fuck the Giants. Fuck the Giants. Yeah. That's actually very smart. That's absolutely what he's doing. And he's saving his friend Brian Flores from taking an interview that he wasn't going to get the job for.

Yeah. Mastermind Belichick movie. He just took down the Giants. For Brady probably. And the Dolphins. You think he did it for Brady? Right. And the Dolphins.

Yeah. And the Dolphins. You think he was like, Brady, I'll do, like, I'm not going to congratulate you publicly, but I will take down the Giants for you privately. Makes sense. This would allude to Brady going back to the Patriots. Yeah. Or maybe Belichick found out that Brady wanted to play for the Dolphins because he wanted

to go to Florida. I think he wanted to go to the Dolphins initially, but they said, we're going to start Tua. Yeah. That's the guy that he said, like, you're going to keep that motherfucker over me. Was Tua. Maybe Brady's trying to go to the Dolphins now, Belichick just dropped a nuke on the entire franchise. Do you think Brady was just trying to establish residency in Florida for tax reasons?

Yes. This is crazy that Stephen Ross, like, if this is true that he was offered to pay Flores $100,000 for every loss during 2019. That's wild. Kick him off the tour. Wow. Okay. Find another really rich white guy to take the team over.

In Miami. Yeah. Good luck. All right. Your cool throne. My cool throne is the Chinese zodiac because it's the Lunar New Year today. Happy New Year. Of course, you fought sides.

All those are celebrate. Big fireworks day. Huge fireworks day. And also it's the year of the tiger. The Bengals are tigers. Yep. It's the thing to think about. It's true.

It's the year of the tiger. Big cat. Might be my year too. Might be Tiger Woods' year. Yep. All these things are true. My animal's the tiger when I was born. That's sick.

Yeah. It's my year's lick. Dude, Belichick fucked this up so bad. So bad. So bad. That's got to be an all time. Oh, shit. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. That's so awesome. All right. My hot seat is NFL rigged. I saw this posted on Twitter, but it was from the official fan page of Patrick Mahomes. It said, KC fans need to understand something, NFL football is a sport or a business.

It's a business first and a sport second. What team has the most bills to pay? Sofi Stadium. It's a multi-billion dollar complex and one of the largest markets in the U.S. Rams need a Super Bowl appearance and victory to sell all those luxury suites and tickets. LA was going to get their Super Bowl. The victory was never going to be against Andy Reed Mahomes. Way too dangerous and very hard to control.

Cincinnati had a great up and coming quarterback, decent defense, great receivers and a suspect offensive line. Best candidate for a Rams victory. The NFL, uh, Goodell could not afford to have Mahomes and the boys ruin the Sofi party. KC made it perfectly clear in the first half, totally dominating the Bengals, totally different Mahomes played the second half. Pretty sure a directive came in at halftime from above, business or sport. It's an entertainment business and it showed big time in Kansas City.

There you go. That's, I like that. Joe Mix and fumbled people are awesome too. So they think that we're going to just turn the game back. The mix and fumble, he got hit, right? There were, there was contact on the legs, not only after he went down, but also before he went down. But maybe by his own player, that's what the whole thing.

If your own player lights you up, are you technically down? I think no. I think that's, that's the point. And so that's why the Joe Mix and yeah, fumble people are, it's, it's just very funny, like well after the, remember the Saints fans obviously got screwed, but when we were like four days after the fact, like they're going to play the Super Bowl guys, like we moved on, it's nothing we can do about it. My cool throne is college basketball because Texas, Texas Tech tonight is going to be awesome

and Chris Beard, what are you going to say? No, I'm assuming you're going to get to it. Still bench bomb? No. Oh. Coach K? Any big wins, you know? I mean Notre Dame's not very good.

It's a big game. ACC's a dumpster fire. Oh, come on. They've got a big test tonight. I know they're probably going to go sloppy and entering that game. And then yeah, but then the ACC's joke right now, um, that Texas Tech video where they had all the fans, they were so mad at Chris Beard, like screaming to fuck you's like essentially trying to assault a bus, um, with Chris Beard in it.

I love it. College sports, psychotic. Yeah. I mean, the game will be over by the time this is out, but it could get ugly tonight. Could get ugly tonight. Yeah. There's a prediction. What does that look like, Jake?

What does getting ugly look like? I think if Texas Tech wins, you could see some debris on the floor. Oh, I think it's worse. Wait, is it? Sorry, if Texas wins, you can see. Texas wins. Yeah. Sorry.

If Texas Tech fans are mad, you're going to see some debris on the floor. Very minimum. Some bad words. Bad words. Bad words and debris. Bad words. Yeah. But the Tennessee Volunteers fans sneaking into the stadium and throwing stuff on the

court. Justice Eagles fans. Um, all right, Jake, give us your hot seat. Cool throne. The hot seat is NFL Red Zone because it looks like it has some company. NBA revealed crunch time on NBA TV last night, similar format. So. Shout out, Billy.

He had a great tweet. It should be the paint. I don't understand it. I like that. Like what, what are we doing here? Turns out we got it all wrong. The post that was, it made sound like the NBA named their new red zone and then somewhere crunch time popped up.

I think it was after my tweet. So this is just going to be a channel where we can watch like 10 minute replay reviews. I don't know. It's, it's another step towards your spread zone idea, which yeah, no, I like it. I would tune in. It's just funny because NBA games, like the one thing that drives me nuts about watching the NBA is the end of the games is always very tough to watch because they review every play.

Yeah. So if they made a product where they played the exact same game like three hours later, if they rebroadcast the game three hours later and edited out all the reviews from the end of the game. I think a lot of people would choose to watch that as if it were live TV. Yeah. Didn't you watch an old version of red zone during the pandemic? We did.

I think, I think we did a lot of stuff during the pandemic. That was our brains were just stuck in a cave trying to find sports anywhere we could find it. Yes. In your cool throne. My cool throne is the fellow score Gamiacs because the way it is over, it is on the Barstil Sportsbook for the Super Bowl. Whoa.

All right. Let's go. What are the odds? Plus 2,500. Wow. I've played Super Bowls before. All three had the Broncos losing. So that's a really good thing for the Super Bowl.

We have to bet this. Yeah. Definitely. What are the odds on it? Plus 2,500. You can bet. No, for minus 10,000. Why would you do that?

No, you're a fucking loser. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Exactly. That's crazy odds to bet. Yeah. So it should be fun.

Okay. Awesome, Jake. Congratulations. I saw your tweet being like, I got a big news coming. That's what it was. Okay. That is big news. That's huge news.

My hot seat is PFT and I. We are going to be driving through one of the largest storms. We've seen snow storms these next couple of days. I'm excited. Road Warrior mentality. I think in order to get off to a good start, we have to. Did you guys hear this? You hear what he's already doing?

What? Billy's getting into war mode in a car. Yeah. Against the snow. It's the perfect storm. It's not real. You know what happens in the perfect storm? We drive into the storm.

The thing crashes and everyone dies. They die. You didn't see the end of the movie. They go over that wave, right? Yeah. And then they die because of that giant wave. Yeah. Well, guess what?

We're not soft like that. Yeah. Okay. We're going through the storm and it's going to be sick. Where's the storm going to hit us? The storm starts tonight and it's moving eastward from the Rocky Mountains. So we're going to be driving right through it and we're going to eclipse it probably Wednesday night.

So Billy's already talking about just skipping the first night and just driving through it and driving all the way to Cincinnati. Well, we're not skipping. We're pretty much skipping the first night. Okay. So let's... The first night, you know what? I'm going to fall asleep.

That's a smart idea. It is a smart idea. And I'm going to wake up. Get as much out of it as in the beginning. I'm going to wake up in the morning and Billy's going to have us in a truck or caravan up in Ontario. Well, the thing is, the thing is he's actually not that it's a smart idea by Billy because the alternative plan was you guys were going to go from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati to Memphis

with like a four hour stop in Cincinnati all in one day, which does not add up. Just like on paper. We're not going to make it to the Bass Pro Shop pyramid in time. I'm saying we gun it first night, not stop in Pittsburgh. Yeah. Just go straight to Cincinnati. I'll drive it. The east coast is the hardest block.

If we get through that, the problem with this is the problem is if we just go through the first night, then we're already behind on our sleep after night one. You can sleep. You can sleep. You can sleep. This is what you wanted. Yeah. You know why?

I wanted a normal four day road trip where we're driving 10 hours a day. No, this is normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is crisis fuel. This is chocolate milk and Red Bull. This is the two worst planners on the podcast putting this together. I'm actually a great planner.

I mapped this entire thing out. But now that it's Cincinnati. And Billy's concept of time. Right. Time doesn't really exist in his brain sometimes. But the thing is we're not going to... When have I been late for anything? No, that's not what it is.

It's more like we'll stop here, here, here, and here, and then we'll be here, and then we'll stop here for four hours, and then you add it all up, and it's like... I added it with Billy today, and it's like you won't get the Bass Pro Shop to two in the morning. Yeah. That's that concept of time. In order to have fun, in order to enjoy Bass Pro Shop, we got to go hard to Cincinnati the first night.

You got to have one hard day of long driving. I'll say it out of it. I'm just saying it's very fun to watch. Because if we end up stopping in Pittsburgh, then we wake up the next Thursday morning, and I'm down to wake up at five, even though we're going to probably get to Pittsburgh late at night. Then we're going to have to drive to Cincinnati. We're going to get there.

It's going to be 10 or 11, then we do our whole thing, whereas we could just go straight to Cincinnati, roll up probably 3 a.m., get like six hours of sleep, nine o'clock, do what we got to do in Cincinnati, get on the road by hopefully one or two, then we hit Memphis. This road trip. No. All right. Here's the problem, Billy.

The problem is, I don't want to start the entire fucking cross-country road trip with six hours of sleep waking up at seven o'clock in the morning. It's going to throw off the entire rest of our trip. No, it's not. We're not going to have fun at the Bass Pro Shop here amid. You can sleep. You're not going to be able to eat the big steak that you wanted to eat. I'm going to eat the big-ass steak on six hours of sleep.

No, you're not. Yes, I am. No. You need your rest. You don't need. So, look, does anybody in Cincinnati have any meth to sell us so that we can stay awake? That's what the memories you make along the way. Yeah, you guys are after this.

Ty doesn't matter. We're going to go hard. If I will do the driving, I will pick you up where we're going and drive straight to Cincinnati that first night, you can sleep in a reclined front seat. I'm not going to allow myself to fall asleep because I'll be like, Billy, we'll kill us all. Well, you guys have figured this out. No, it's going to be, if we don't, and the thing is, if we're late the first day, second

day, we're not going to do anything fun. We're going to get to Bass Pro Shop very late. Billy is making some sense. We're not going to be able to eat the barbecue there and sit on the top of the pyramid and look at Memphis and all its glory. That sounds love. And then we're going to be late because then we're all of our time in the cool spots is going to be in the morning, not when we should be dining and talking about planning out our

next trip, like checking on the weather. All right, so my hot seat is me. I'd put you on the hot seat already. Yeah. No, you're right. I may have bit off more than I can chew. This is fine. It'll be fine.

We're road warriors. I was the one who told Billy that this made no sense, but he is now realized that we sat down this morning. I was like, you guys, there's time. You guys have like days that should be like 40 hour days, but you're trying to get no sense. No, because I think Billy probably embellished some things that we were going to do during the day.

The only. No, no, no, no. Like if you woke up in Pittsburgh at 7 a.m. and you drove to Cincinnati and then you were in Cincinnati for three or four hours and that's the thing, we're not going to be in Cincinnati for three hours. We're going to do the podcast. You want to go get each chili. You want to go see.

We're going to. There's going to buy chili. That's. You would have been there. That's rubbing time. There's roll over time between doing all that. And then going to Memphis, she would have gotten there at midnight and I was like, that makes no sense.

Yeah. We like, I, I rather go hard. I want to just get to Bass Pro Shop so we can enjoy it. I'm out of it. I'm sorry. To you this morning, Billy, trying to get you guys to enjoy it, but like that, I think, I think you're like, it's going to be fun. Billy, well, I don't think that we go all the way to Cincinnati at night one.

I think we split the difference. I think, look, I wanted to mention this because this is airing tomorrow morning storm until the next day. Well, you said maybe Wednesday night, right? It's probably we, we might not be able to drive early on Thursday because of the storm. So we better, we're better off going. I'm just saying we got to go pedals with metal road warriors. I need to write a will.

If you're not ready to be a road warrior, then I don't know. I'm going to write a fucking will. Dude, we're going to Chevy Silverado. It's one of the safest trucks. You're going to go war mode against the snow. You should write a war mode. Nothing ever bad has happened in an epic snowstorm on the highway. I'm probably going to kill Billy.

No, we're, this is, this is, this is how we got to do it. All right. All right. What's your cool throne, Billy? We're going to have, we have a, there is going to be a camera guy that's going to film everything. I've told them to just film. Well, it's going to mostly be just, okay, we're going to drive.

I would like to, so Pittsburgh's the place we can't stop on the way to Cincinnati. So at around like 11 PM, 11 PM, we'll be like, are we going or are we not? And I think it's going to be a full send moment. Yes. Yes. It's going to be a full set. Damn. I should have gone on this road trip.

Yeah. I would have driven right through the night. I don't have a problem. Road dogs. It's so easy to say. Road dogs. Shout out the road dogs. Road dogs.

Yeah, baby. I'm driving through the night. I am. But I've been driving through the night. No, not all, just till like 3 AM when we get to Cincinnati, then we crash because we're tired as fuck. Right. Then we sleep six.

And it's going to be like a light sleep because we're so razzled. I was mostly concerned because I was mostly concerned because I had text from Billy this morning and be like, Hey, uh, change of plans, I think we should just drive all the way and skip the first night of sleep. I didn't know that this bet that the back channels were happening. There's not back. There's reason. Yeah.

There's back channels. There's not back channels. There's not. No, this is not. The cat is summarizing this. No, it's not. It's behind the scenes. It's not.

So I, I, I literally told Billy because I know your brain PFT time doesn't exist sometimes with you. So like your planning brain isn't reality. And Billy told me the beginning of the trip and I was like, those hours don't add up. And then he looked at me and he's like, Yeah, you're kind of right. I was like, Okay. And look, it's, I, I did not think about this too much. They really don't add up.

I think the whole three hours in Cincinnati was, that was overblown. We got a table podcast and you wanted to see, you're talking about going to like making stops at people's houses to, for a skyline. The productivity, we're going to have even if you stop for one hour and since now you won't get to the best pro shop to like 10 p.m. We should say, uh, if you're in Cincinnati, we might need a place to record the podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

And the thing like there's a lot of transactional frictional time that is going to be wasted and we'll get much more like that four hours. If we stop in Pittsburgh to Cincinnati, there's going to be like that extra 30 minutes waiting for one another. Like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have been involved. I'm oftentimes the realist on this podcast. I shouldn't have done that. I am.

I have to be the realist. No, I shouldn't have done that. No, but you guys do it every one. People are probably. That is. I am. I'm the one who's got to keep us. Barstool Big Cat.

Realist. The only one. Honestly, we should put a pull out tomorrow morning. So maybe the world needs dreamers, man. I know, but the world is people to be like, you can't drive 40 hours in a day and a half. But the thing is like, we can't like, we're not going to be able to enjoy the stops and like, we don't have any good stops in Pittsburgh, so we shouldn't even stop there. I mean, I'm enjoying this.

I want to like, you know, at the end of like these 12 hour driving days, like when we go, when we stop in Canton, spend the night at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Maybe it's night at the museum where the statues talk to each other. I don't understand like why the, that extra two hours or three, because it's only an extra two or three hours. Think about this BFT and not to be devil's accurate advocate, but certainly not times of the essence. Every hour matters when you're on the road.

You get to the hotel at 11 because you want to get your, you know, 10 hours of beauty sleep. Beauty sleep. Wake from 11 to, you know, one o'clock, because that's just like, you're naturally awake. Like you're not going to get to the hotel and pass out. Whereas if you drive till three or four AM, you will just pass out. Yeah. Those extra two or three hours.

I'd rather not, I'd rather not err on the side of getting to a place where I'm like seconds away from passing out. But you're going to be sleeping. I'm probably driving because you don't want to be driving. You don't want to drive that late. What do you mean? I don't want to drive that late. So why 90?

You don't want to drive. Get drive on a freeway. It's not safe to drive after sunset. You just said, oh, what's the difference between 11 PM and 3 AM? A massive difference. Yeah. So you don't want to drive that late so you can sleep. All right.

I'm looking. I'm going to be like, it's going to be sick. Okay. The distance between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati is about five hours. You said it was two to three hours right there. Right. But look at the difference between going straight to Cincinnati. You agree with me that I'm not, I wasn't trying to undermine anything.

I literally just looked at a map, which I don't think you had done. But PFT. No, I had, I had looked at a map. I was telling Billy this morning that we can stop in like Columbus because I looked at the map and that's the only reason I said anything is because I was like, looking at the map and being like, this makes no sense. But if you look at the difference between the time between here and Cincinnati and here to Pittsburgh to Cincinnati, it is shorter if we go straight to Cincinnati.

How do you guys figure it out? The thing is we didn't really concept. We had a whole different route until Cincinnati one, which we're very grateful for. Very glad. Who day? Very glad. It'll be a nice stop. But like big things planned.

Look at the distance between here and Cincinnati. But it'll hold me under an hour. No, an hour for the podcast and then 15 minutes to make the two other stops. Yeah. And then think about it. Honestly, we're not thinking about the time after skyline. Yeah. Good boy.

Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Honestly, that was what I was thinking. We might have to type up after that. Because I'm going to be eating a shit ton of skyline because I'm trying to bulk for the Amarillo. I'm training for the big steak in Amarillo. Yeah.

That's true. He's got he's training. All right. So from New York to Cincinnati, it's 10 and a half hours. Exactly. But we're leaving out. We're leaving out like 3 34 right. So think about that.

That's only like 1 a.m. All right. Fuck it. Let's do it. Wait. Full send. Full send. That doesn't really add up.

Yeah. Full send. You do have to stop. Yeah. Okay. Full send. I think that's where I that's exactly what just happened. Exactly.

Like what he's like. He read the time and was like, this is exactly how long it takes. Like usually road trips takes a little bit longer. I think on exactly February 5th, we will be landing in Amarillo for the 72 out steak challenge. And that is a year to the day. War mode occurred. Boom.

All right. That's perfect ending of that. Let's get to Sam Hubbard. Cool throne. Wada. What? World Anti-Doping Minister. I had a cool throne.

Okay. Sorry. For what reason? Because all the bicyclists for the Tour de France tested negative for any banned substances. Oh, perfect. Which means that there's a new substance that they're all using that they can't detect. That you are on the hunt for right now. Yes, exactly.

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very own Bubba, which is we'll get to that later. But awesome that you could join us, Sam. Congratulations on everything. You're going to the Super Bowl. We got a lot of questions, but I had one question that like I have to ask off the top because I was doing a little like, you know, looking at some different stuff before this interview. That game, the AFC Championship game, the play that you made on third and goal with Patrick Mahomes going back in the pocket.

You're the QB spy and you just like, after about five seconds, you sprint and get him. Can you walk us through what goes through your mind when your responsibility is QB spy? And you're like, all right, fuck it. Now I'm going. Now I'm going full send. Yeah. Thanks for having me on. I'm a big fan of the pod, but yeah, that whole drive was crazy.

I mean, you know, there are situations where you like at one point would maybe think that scoring is a good idea, red carpet situation, get Joe the ball back, but never went through our head to let him score. I was always keeping out of the end zone, take it to overtime when you Joe was going to make it. So we're just bowing up, you know, down the five yard line first and I think it was first and five on the first and goal. And yeah, I was just sitting back in there.

He was running around for his life like a chicken with his head cut off. I was finally just like, all right, my job is to spy him as soon as the play break down, I'm going to go run him down. Yeah. It was crazy. I saw the way that you approached him because he'd been doing those slow spin moves all game long. You know, he he'd have a couple of plays where he pulled two or three of those off in the

same play. And I saw you kind of break down before he got to him, like maybe even a little bit early. Is that something you were thinking about? Like I know that he will do the slow man spin move and somehow get away from me. No, I was completely acting on instinct. I think when I went back to my high school safety day, just open field football, tracking the hip. I don't even know how I got the ball out.

I just kind of reached my arm out and tackled him. It was like a hit him straight in the ball, but it was like a hose line. It was real. It's really an incredible play because, you know, if you watch it from a wider angle and you see like you're sitting there, you're waiting, you know what your responsibility is? And then when you like fuck it, I'm going for this. Like if you don't get them there, there's a good chance Mahomes probably scores either

running or passing because everything else breaks down. So like that play alone was so, so huge for the game. I just love the mentality of like, all right, let's do it. Like now it's go time. You probably weren't saying that to yourself, but I would imagine like, I like to imagine you being like, all right, let's go, Sam. We're fucking we're doing this. We're going to the Super Bowl.

And actually the guard, as soon as the guard turned and went on to BJ Hill and the center was on DJ, nobody was looking at me and they were like part of like the Red Sea. I was like, all right, I'm out. What, so speaking of like your defensive performance, the entire team in the second half was exceptional. So you guys like your patients, we always hear analysts say like your discipline on, you know, rush lanes and not letting the quarterback, you know, get out, especially a guy like Mahomes. How hard is it play to play to have that discipline where you're, where you might like every now and then be like, ooh, I can make a play here.

If I just, if I go, if I lose my discipline for a second, like how hard is that? That's got to be really, really hard, especially when you think, oh, the play is there, but I got to stay where I'm at. Yeah. I mean, Mahomes is, I mean, we played him twice in a short time span. I think it like unfolded the same way both times. Like the first half was just like a blur that, you know, Mahomes was kind of in total control of the game and we're, you know, getting back there, but he was just getting out of the

pocket pocket, extending plays and both games that we beat him, we settled in in the second half and kind of just played our game, just kept him in the pocket, not trying to make huge plays and then uncovering the back end and stop those scrambles that really are dangerous and like back breaking plays. We're able to limit those and that's really was the difference, I think. I love the phrase that you use to boat up. I'm usually a pin my ears back guy myself, but boat up sounds like our defense, our defense is, you know, red zone, boat up.

That's a, we always say that down there, three points or zero. I love that. Yeah. Did you guys have anything put in place in your game plan defensively for, if you did happen to get into a 13 second or less scenario with Patrick Mahomes? No, I mean, we practice those situations every Saturday, I walk through every week and there are situations that you may never have in your career, like, you know, sideline situations or, yeah, we just have different names for them and they're like, once every four years

of situation, like those will come up where you actually need them and you have to execute them perfectly in the biggest moments and that's really the difference when it comes down to this time of the season. Yeah. Have you had a chance to watch, you know, sit down and watch all the film and have you been able to find one play that maybe us is just, you know, guys that watch football on TV, maybe didn't realize was a very important play for your defense, but to you, it kind of, it, it changed things.

Yeah. I mean, I heard you guys talk about the game, but I think you know, apples play at the end of the half on Tyree kill, like really, I mean, they score there. It's a totally different ball game. That kind of was a momentum shift for us at half the difference in the game. It was just such a huge play. Yeah. The half time, I'm sure it was like, all right, we've been here before.

It's literally the same exact deficit that we had in week 17. It's got to, got to be huge doing that, like having that momentum going into the half. Yeah. And I mean, I think the thing you see with our team is like our defense plays so hard at all times because we have full faith that whenever Joe gets the ball, he can bring us back into the game. So like we literally never quit or like question that if we just keep getting stops like Joe can bring us back in the game.

So you're, you're, you're from Cincinnati. You were a captain in the game. It was you and Joe captains of the game. Zach Taylor said afterwards, Ohio's finest Cincinnati's finest. How many thank you texts have you gotten from just random people? Uh, because like it's obviously, obviously everyone on the Bengals is so excited and what you're doing for the city, but it is your city. So it's an added layer of like coolness to this whole thing.

Have you just had people that you haven't talked to in a really long time being like, thank you so much. Yeah. I mean, I think everybody I've ever met in my entire life, I've shot me a text or like an Instagram message and also like my parents, my siblings, um, anybody that's ever like associated with our family is just so happy and reaching out and the support's just crazy. And to like make, make a play.

Oh, sorry. That's all right. Yeah. Yeah. We can't, that's okay. Is that Joe? You can put them on if you're Joe. It's another person texting you.

We're calling you being like, Hey, Sam wanted to say we were in PE class in fifth grade. I want to say thanks. It was a random number, but, uh, yeah, no, it's crazy. Uh, everybody I've ever met just hitting me up and, uh, I just, I love the, my favorite part is the videos of the bars and the kick goes through. People are just like weeping and crying. And just not cutting skyline chili. Yeah.

I've seen like five videos of people either beer bonging or just like opening up a can with a can opener and just pouring it down their face. It's great. It's awesome to see. It's truly the best part about sports. Like you have a franchise that hasn't had success in a really long time and you can see the like outpouring of emotions. I just love the fact that every, literally every person you've ever met,

met, including Bubba, who you went on vacation with what like 20 years ago also makes you up. Everyone, literally anyone who's met you ever has hit you up. I think it was just making the play and that stage. Like that was probably the biggest stage. I mean, in my career and like last play of the game of regulation sack bumble like you can't imagine a better situation. It's just, it's crazy.

I'm just, uh, yeah, it's awesome. You realize that you're now America's team, right? Like the entire country is rooting for you. The exception of maybe, I don't know, like a few guys and like Rob Lowe, Rob Lowe and Snoop Dogg are rooting for the Rams and everybody else because you kind of represent, um, you know, like or not, you represent a lot of teams that never thought that they would have a chance at the Super Bowl. You like, if you're a fan of the Detroit Lions, who actually might be a

little bit rooting for Matt Stafford, but like the Lions, the Jets, teams that have had a really rough goal of it for the last like five or six years, they're all rooting for you because your odds were so long going into this season to even find yourself in the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl. You're kind of your, your America's darlings right now. Yeah, no, we appreciate that. I mean, my first year, I did my first winning season, um, and like, I mean, I was like, yeah, one playoff win spent 31 years.

Like that was my going into the season. I'm like, let's just win one playoff game for the city. Like that was my main goal. And I talked to Joe after that first playoff when I was like, dude, like, do you realize what we did? And he was just like, yeah, no, I mean, we got a lot more to do. It's pretty cool. But like, it's just, it's a crazy mentality that we have on this team.

It's like, everything's aligned together. Stars are aligning. It's, I mean, you said team of destiny. I feel like we're a team of destiny. Yeah. So when did that occur to you this year? That like this team is built a little bit different. Like there's a different vibe around these bangles than those bangles.

I think during, um, off season, we're all on virtual on zoom, trying to discuss when we, it was like, if you remember way back, it was up in the air, whether teams would be meeting for the off season, virtually or in person teams opted out and all that stuff, CBA issues. And we kind of just, every single person on our team wanted to come in and get together. We had a lot of new guys, a lot of free agents and wanted to come in because we've haven't, haven't had success and we wanted to be great. And we did six weeks of OTAs together and that was really where we all bonded

and kind of laid the foundation of what we wanted to be for the year. So you said something that was interesting there. I wanted to go back to you, like after the first win, the excitement is all off the charts. You know, Joe Burrow is like, yeah, we still got a lot to work on here. We got a long road to go. How long is it before you have to switch to the next game? Because, you know, as regular guys, I think that we can say that if we have like any little pieces of success, we're like, all right, we're good forever.

I would still be drunk. Yeah. You win something and you're like, sweet. I never have to do this again, but the turnaround is one week. Like how quickly did you guys, did you stop celebrating? You're like, all right, and now it's the Titans. Now it's the Chiefs. Yeah. I mean, every week it's kind of the same routine. I mean, this is like our 23rd week in a row playing games.

It's a long season, but you have that Monday. It's Victory Monday. Are you after a loss, you have 24 hours of like misery and you wake up on Tuesday, the player off day, and you kind of just turn the page, you know, do your routines, massages, or whatever to get right and start game planning for the next week. So when it's a big win, you enjoy. I mean, this is pretty great because we have an extra week to enjoy this victory, but we'll still be watching the Rams.

But yeah, yeah. Just out of pure curiosity, what color Gatorade do you guys usually have on the sidelines during games? Actually, it's always consistently orange. Now that you say that, you never noticed that. That's interesting. We'll bleep that out so that nobody else finds out about us. I'm just curious.

I'm just curious for no real reason about that. One thing I've always appreciated about you, Sam, is the fact that you are a Swiss army knife in that you play defensive end and fullback. I haven't seen you get too many reps at fullback though recently. Is that something that we might see in the Super Bowl potentially you getting back out there and get another fullback assist? Because you came in second place, I think, in fullback assist back in 2018. Yeah, no, it actually amazed me when you and I met back in the Super Bowl of 2019

at that rough and rowdy. I was like, yeah, hey, I'm Sam PFT. And you're actually like, oh, Sam Hummer. You had seven fullbacks assist in 2019. I was like really impressed. Like, I didn't even know I had that. But I'm like Rain Man for grit. Yeah, I've been on my offensive coordinator trying to get me back in there,

but I kind of gave up and I'm patiently waiting for my number to be called. We'll see when it happens. I would love for that to happen. And that would make me happier than when an offensive lineman catches a touchdown in the red zone to see you get out there and blow somebody up from the five yard line on a fullback assist. That would make my week. Yeah, I don't know. Mike Greybull type or something like that.

That would be perfect. So you listen to the show, right? You listen to the show? Yeah, big time. So you know, you know, things we talk about and, you know, our likes and dislikes. So since you are an AWL, talk about Urban Meyers character. I'm not going to go that was anticipating this question coming. I was that or what is the biggest lesson that Urban Meyer has taught you?

I didn't I decided, you know, it was a game time decision, which one I was going to go with. Yeah, I mean, I have a crazy recruiting story with Coach Meyer, but I was the lacrosse player back in the day and he somehow saw a football player. I mean, actually convinced me to flip over to football. No way. Wait, so when did you start playing football? You played in high school, but yeah, I played lacrosse and football from like third grade, but I was committed to play lacrosse at Notre Dame in high school.

And I was like, yeah, I'm just doing football for fun. And yeah, he came into my gym class actually in junior year of high school, just recruiting at Moller and was like, who's that big tall dude? I was like 185 pounds at the time. He's like, and my coach is like, that's our safety. You know, he's lacrosse player and that's really where the relationship started. We just started talking. I went to their camp and he's like, yeah, you need to come play football.

So Urban looked at you and he's like, this guy's tall. He plays football. We're playing this guy fat. Yeah. That's awesome. He's like, I can make this guy alignment. Great eye for talent. Yeah, I guess so.

I own a lot for that. What, did you, have you ever given Joe shit for, I mean, obviously he made the right choice, but for transferring from Ohio State? No, I mean, that was a tough situation. I remember the whole process because he was deciding where to go. I think he was down to the university of Cincinnati actually in LSU. And I mean, that's a big time stage and he went down there and took over. So it worked out for him.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, I'd say so. It's very hard. Like whenever college football fans are like, oh, this guy transferred from here. Justin Fields went from Georgia. It's like, there's a lot that goes into it. It's not like they just decide it overnight.

Like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go to LSU. I'm out of here. I mean, yeah. And the whole, yeah, the whole situation was he got hurt, you know, the year before and, you know, Dwayne stepped in and played great. It was just a tough spot, a lot of talent at Ohio State. He, he, he did what was right for him. And I mean, look at, look at where he is now.

Yeah. And I think, you know, you guys have a pretty close team, it seems like right now. And, you know, obviously going through what this team has gone through in the last couple years, going into winning, you know, playoff games on playoff games, going to Super Bowl, you're going to gel a little bit. And one thing I appreciate about your defense, especially your defensive line on the other side, you've got Trey Hendrickson. And does, does he wear the arm sleeves so that the announcers can tell him apart from you?

Is that like a handshake deal you guys have? No, I mean, that's the no gloves, sleeves is his thing. And, you know, I will, I don't know. I honestly don't know how he plays the game without gloves because like my fingers and hands get mangled and he's just out there doing his things. It's, I don't know, we're, we're, we're very close. I mean, he came in free agency and we hit it off right away, but we're two very different people like Yin and Yang, we always say.

And the whole defensive line, we go out to dinner together. We're all, we're all super close. I think that is what makes our defense special for sure. Who can eat the most on your defensive line? I mean, I don't know. We got some pretty big nose tackles. Tyler Shelvin, you know, Tyler Shelvin's the guy that's the picture of him and Kyle holding Joe and then at the AFC him on his shoulders again.

So sick. Have you got to get ready because people are just going to tell you for the next two weeks that the Superbowl is really fast. So let us be the first to tell you that, that the speed of the Superbowl is crazy. Really? I haven't heard that yet. You're going to be shocked when you see it for as people who've watched a lot of Superbowls.

It's fast. Okay. That's what they said when they first come into the league and I got out there for my first preseason game and I was like, holy shit, this is fast. Like it really is true. Like the speed of the game is just ridiculous. Also half time. Half time is longer.

So you're going to be ready for that. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. M and M I heard that would be. Snoop Dogg. Yes.

Dr. Dre. Has there been any discussion around the locker room about winning this one for Harambe? Bringing one home for the sweet prince. For the lowland gorilla. Sweet prince. No, uh, I mean, that's our guy. That's our hero. I think that's known kind of goes without saying, um, you know, we're doing this for him.

So, so it's safe to say that you were on the side of the Harambe Grievers and like the kid like shouldn't have been there. It's tough to say, um, but I mean, yeah, I mean. I hope someone asked you about Harambe media day. Like the fact that this is now coming back up is so, it's the perfect amount of time too, where it's funny. I mean, I look forward every after every game is that the, I don't know if it's memes or whoever puts up the.

Yes. Harambe looking over the stadium. Yeah. Make my day every time. It's so good. We were in Cincinnati or you were around Ohio at the time in 2016, right? I was at Ohio State at the time, but what was the mood like on campus that day? Solid.

I mean, heartbreaking. No, I'm just kidding. Well, I'll give you, I'll give you a chance here, like maybe a Mark Wahlberg chance. Like if you were there, would, would it have gone differently? Would you have maybe been able to rescue the child without lethal force? I think so. I think, uh, yeah, that would have added to the Cincinnati legend. Yeah, you just jump in there and make Harambe tap out.

Yeah. Yeah. Go bow up, bow up on Harambe. Yeah, go bow up on Harambe. Just Sam Hubbard fucking blitzing. Harambe takes him down. Harambe can't spin out on you. No, no chair.

Harambe, he moves like Big Ben now. Yeah. Yeah. Cement boots. Actually, Harambe probably moves better than Big Ben. That's true. That's a fact. How was it like playing against Ben at this stage of his career?

Um, I mean, I watched him go against the Bengals my whole life. He's a legend. Uh, I mean, he gets the ball off. Actually, my rookie year, I think that was 2018 was my first. I was the last game of the season and, uh, you know, Ben was, um, pretty large. And I got back there and wrapped him up and just like got completely thrown off. He scramble and or stepped up in the pocket and threw a third down. I was like, it felt like I was trying to tackle an offensive line.

And I was like, Oh my gosh, they said he's big, but like, I didn't know he was that big. He's big. Yeah. This is my favorite interview because like knowing that, you know, every joke that we make and we're just going to keep asking you like, what do you think about Big Ben? What do you think about Urban Meyer? What are your thoughts on LeBron? Do you like LeBron?

Hey, Oh, hi. Oh, Akron's very own. He's an Ohio guy. Yeah. Just a kid from Akron. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, yeah, he was at on the sidelines. Uh, he was in the locker room too when we played, um, uh, team up North one year. Um, out of Ohio State. That was pretty cool. What about we gave the whole team beats too. Oh, really? Was that impermissible?

Uh, yeah. That's before NIL, right, Sam? No, no, no. He was joking. Yeah. Yeah, I was joking. We didn't actually get him. I think this would be similar to when we had Joe on and got Odell in trouble and all that stuff.

I think it was permissible because of bowl gifts or something like that. Yeah. And also because he's LeBron and do whatever he wants. Yeah. And Urban Meyer was using the beats by Dre to teach a lesson about accountability down the line because you're only permitted to listen to motivational podcasts. Yes. Yes.

Got it. Um, so I'm going to further incriminate myself anymore. So you're from Cincinnati, uh, born and raised. You play in Cincinnati now. What are your thoughts on Skyline Chili? And can you tell us why, uh, what, what's your favorite part about Skyline Chili? Is it the, the texture, the cinnamon or the spaghetti? Actually, uh, right here.

I have a Cincinnati facts for you. Oh, let's go. I love Cincinnati facts. Okay. Cincinnatians eat over 2 million pounds of Skyline Chili annually. Cincinnati facts. Wow. That's a good Cincinnati.

How many crackers though? The crackers are great. The thing is, so like you sit down, um, uh, at Skyline and you get a little bowl of crackers and a water and hot sauce and you just douse the crackers and hot sauce and then your mouth is on fire until your Skyline comes. And like it's the routine every time. Yeah, no, you described it perfectly. It's a routine.

Yeah. It's not really a meal as much as it is just, you know, like it's, it's like making the trip to, to Mecca. Yeah. It's brushing your teeth in the morning. You know, you're doing it. Like, you're even thinking about it. No, first you eat the cracker with the hot sauce, then you eat the chili.

That's what we do. Yeah. Yes. You have to do. And, uh, I mean, my order is, I get three plain cheese conies and a three-way every time. DK Metcalf. I still just can't get over the fact that like people do it for lunch. Like go to eat Skyline for lunch and then go back to work.

That will blow my mind forever. I space it out. I actually like after every, after the seasons over every year, first place I go to is Skyline because like you're not going to feel good after you eat it. But I mean, it's, there's nothing better. So I can, I can, I don't know how people do that either. But like late night and stuff like that, it hits the spot. It's great drunk food for sure.

It's a glowing endorsement to say you're not going to feel good after eating it. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I eat that I feel bad after eating. Of course. Big catch right though. Going there and then having to go continue on with the responsibilities. That's a meal that will ruin, like give yourself a 24-hour buffer to just recover from that meal. I just imagine a guy like in a suit going and eating like a whole fucking three-way and then going back to his desk and trying to like type something into an Excel spreadsheet.

Like that is actually like an iron man. That's the most impressive athletic feat of all time. Yeah. No, that takes some serious, some serious grid or I don't know, I don't think I could do it. I'd be in a coma. Or like negotiating against somebody like going back and being a serious business man. I guess they're all eating skyline. So it's like, that's almost like the, the pre-fight routine.

Yeah. Let's both go get started. Touching gloves is having a couple of conies with each other. Yes. Yes. What's one thing that you don't like about Joe Burrow? Good question. Great question.

Thank you. It's a tough one. I can't do my boy like that. I don't know. I don't think there's anything I don't like. He's Joe Cool. He's the guy. What about the glasses?

Are the glasses, do they always play? Or does he sometimes put on a pair that he tries out and you guys are like, that's a little bit too far, Joe. No, he doesn't try. He doesn't get our thoughts. He just does it every time. But he wore those glasses and I was like, I don't know. I don't know about those. And then you, uh, the next week was, um, we went to Tennessee and literally every

person I saw on every picture, so, uh, on social media, everywhere is wearing these like glasses. And it's like, like taking over the city and their glasses are on everybody tailgating and they're like the biggest hit. What, what is it about him in a locker room? Like I'm sure there'll be a ton of stories written this Super Bowl week. Like the it factor, you know, a lot of times the it factor just means you're winning. But for Joe Burrow, it feels like he's had it. Even if you go back to LSU before the season, before they won the national title,

if you talk to anyone about that, like he was confident, he's always been confident. Like does he have that effect on the locker room where guys just buy in because of who he is? Yeah, no doubt. I mean, people in the position Joe's in will sometimes like try to force things or be somebody they're not. And like the thing about Joe is he just does everything, um, organically and just handles every situation. Like after, after he does it, like that's my quarterback.

Like, I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's just, uh, it's hard to, uh, like you can't even replicate or put your finger on exactly what it is, you know? Yeah, it feels like he has the perfect blend of like confidence and then there's something about having confidence and then backing it up with actions that's like the most infectious thing ever. You know, when you see someone like, oh yeah, I'm confident in myself.

I'm not cocky. I don't think he's cocky. I think he's confident. He's not like, you know, saying crazy things or, or trying to be boisterous. He's just confident. And then he goes and does it and then you're like, okay, this guy can walk on water. Yeah, exactly. And he's always been that way.

And, um, yeah, when you back it up, what you're saying, I mean, anything that he says, you're not going to be like, oh, that's a stretch or that's a lie. Like it's like, okay, like, yeah, then he goes and does it. Yeah. Did you have a word with Brandon Allen about calling heads at the coin flip and overtime? We need to straighten that out in case there's an overtime situation in the Super Bowl. Tails doesn't fail. I, uh, I think Joe called heads when we were at the coin toss before the game too.

And I think it, it was tails, but, uh, that coin toss Brandon Allen went out there for I was after I just, um, had those sacks back to back and I was completely exhausted. I was on the sideline, like sitting on the bench, like not even sure where I was at. It was crazy. But yeah, we'll have to go to the tails next time. Yeah. Tails doesn't fail. It never fails.

That's how it rhymes. Let's get some Super Bowl media day questions out of the way for you so that you're ready and prepared. How many tickets? How many tickets you got to get for your family? That's definitely going to be asked. Yeah. I mean, right now, I mean, we have a team meeting later to get some more information,

but it's probably the most stressful part right now. I mean, do you want us to handle it? I've always heard you got to have someone else handle it. We can handle it. Bubba can handle it. You give us the tickets. We'll make sure it gets to your family and then some of your friends. What?

Aren't you getting a sweep from McVeigh? He's been ducking us. He's a slippery little bastard. You know? That's tough. We should actually, you know what? We should, now that I'm thinking about it, we should just show up in LA with an extra challenge flag and be like, McVeigh, here, take this and give us a sweep.

I'll trade you. Yeah. You get three now in the Super Bowl because you know he wants it. He's going to throw one before the coin toss. Mm-hmm. But I appreciate the offer. I think my mom's going to handle the tickets. Okay.

All right. Well, if you need a backup, we can, you know, we won't sell all of them. Just most of them for an insane profit. Yeah. Very big profit for sure. Yeah. I don't know. Are they doing Super Bowl Media Day this year?

I think they're doing like a Zoom probably. I think it was one of those things where they tried to do it last year, but they canceled it. And then they said, you know what? It turns out we don't really need Super Bowl Media Day. Like nobody really missed it last year. Yeah. We, I mean, you're going to get, you're going to get like a story written about you in like Sports Illustrators or something about, actually, can Jake write that story?

Can he interview you? Yeah. I mean, I love that. Okay. We, yeah. Maybe we beat everyone with that interview where it's like. I don't know how Super Bowl Media. I don't never been there.

I don't know how it works. Well, it's going to be hometown kid. Like there's always storylines. Burrough's going to have the it factor. Matt Stafford's going to have like a Detroit storyline. It's going to be the first overall pick versus the first overall pick. They'll talk about that. You know what they'll probably do?

They'll probably say like, you're the new Chris Hogan. If Chris Collinsworth finds out that you played La Crosse in high school. Oh my God. He's going to be like, here's a guy that played La Crosse in high school. Wow. Oh, we should get. All right. So now that we're talking this out, we need to get in touch with your note.

Whoever recruited you at Notre Dame, Jake will contact him. It will be the La Crosse story. Yes. Sam Hubbard. How Sam Hubbard could have been on the water dogs and been a loser. Instead, he's on the Bengals and a winner. Even better La Crosse player than he was a football player in high school. Yes.

Yeah. Jerry Byrne, Notre Dame coach who recruited me. That's a great story. Yeah. This would be great. I want Jake to do like a big J journalist story on Sam Hubbard because someone's going to do it. We got to beat him to it. Yeah. No, he's got exclusive rights now. Let's get it on the books.

Perfect. Perfect. Evan McPherson. Does he have like a pass in the locker room? Like he's not, he's not a kicker. He's one of us. Yes, definitely. I mean, I said this in my media when they asked me about him.

I was like, we drafted a kicker OTAs. I'm like trying to chirp them, like get them around them, give them shit. And he never like, I mean, this is like a smaller guy, but he never backed down. He would talk shit right back. And you know, hasn't personality is a cool dude. He's got confidence. And after he's been making these kicks, everybody's just super happy. He's on our team.

He's a great dude. Does anybody ever give kickers shit when they, when they miss some easy ones? Because I know he had that tough game against Green Bay early this year. That was kind of a fluke. I mean, both kickers were missing them that game. I think there was like eight miss field goals. I mean, that was just a crazy game. I think, I know, but no one really says anything.

Everybody knows just onto the next one. The way he's played this year, like as a rookie is so impressive, especially in the playoffs where I do think that he's the second best kicker in the league behind Justin Tucker right now, which is saying something, even like mentioned him in the same breath. But when you have a kicker that has that much ice water in his veins, there's a huge boost. It does make a difference.

I think it made a little bit of a difference in the game plan that you guys had against the chiefs where sometimes teams are like, we're not going to beat the chiefs with field goals. But it turns out points count the same as points. You know, like three points is still three points. And if you add them up, you can actually beat the chiefs with field goals. Matt LaFleur tried that. Matt LaFleur tried that. But you have a, you actually have a good enough weapon, a kicker,

where it's almost like a luxury to have that on your team. Yeah. I mean, once you cross like, I don't know, 35 or whatever, it's like automatic points. And like you see Joe, I mean, even the playoffs, like against Tennessee, you just see him, he gets pressure down the red zone. He just takes care of the ball. Like he might get sacked, but he's not going to turn the ball over

because we still get three points. Like he's just going to make a smart decision, not like do something crazy. And we're just going to take the points and go out there and get another stop, get the ball back. It's just really nice to have a reliable kicker. Trust me. So my last football question, when you dropped back in coverage, because that was a lot of, you know, the chief's second half was,

you know, dropping eight and you're, you're the guy who usually drops. Is there ever a moment when you're dropped back in coverage where like a Tyree kill or someone who's running across the field, you're like, oh, fuck, like this is, because the reality of football is you have power speed, but you don't have wide receiver speed. Does that ever cross your mind? Like, oh, this is going to be a bad situation. If I get like one on one with this guy.

Yeah. I actually speaking of Tyree kill and a few years ago, 2018, we're in Kansas city my first time and we had a similar type of game plan where I'd walk out on Tyree kill and jam him and then drop back over the ball. And they snapped the ball and he does like the quickest, like juke I've ever seen and like completely ducks under me and I whiff on my jam. And he's like 10 yards down the field. By the time I even like turn around and I'm just like,

and then they complete the ball to him and I was like, oh my, like what the hell. And yeah, once you get out in space with these guys, you really see sometimes why you belong in the trenches, but it's not fair. It's probably similar. Like when, when a running back who's not great at blocking tries to block you, you got to feel like a super human. Whereas one of these like speedsters is breaking you down at the line of scrimmage. It's like, oh, this is scary.

Yeah. I mean, but the coaches do a good job. I've never putting us like one-on-one with like zero help over top in situations like that. So we're never truly like out on an island as a big man. You can't or else it's just not going to go well. All right. So I had one last question. It's the rowback question.

You're wearing rowback. I think your cousin maybe started rowback. Is that true? Yeah. Actually, he was one of the founders and back in the day, they were just trying out products and would give them to me. I'd just be rocking it before they ever like blew up and kind of just organically, as my career has grown, they've blown up and we're just, I'm a rowback athlete.

So it's really cool. Yeah. We love rowback. They've been a great sponsor of ours. Use code PMT when you go to R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com and Sam Hubbard is an official rowback athlete. So now you have to support it. He's an AWL. We got to support each other.

20% off when you go to rowback.com and you use code PMT. So Liam, Bubba, our producer, you went on vacation with him? Like this is the weirdest, the fact that we were just talking about the game on Sunday night and he's like, oh yeah, like 15 years ago, I went on vacation with Sam Hubbard. Do you remember him? Did he leave an impression on you? So I don't know my aunt texted me last night and I don't know. Somehow they made the connection that was coming on the show today.

And so Liam went to Breezy Point with my cousins because they're close family friends, but I spent all my summers going to Breezy Point for vacation. And it's like the best place on earth. And she told me that Liam fell in love with Breezy Point. He can chime in, but yeah, that's the connection right there. He asked, do you still go there? I don't. I haven't been there in a while.

My grandma's solar house that we used to stay at when I was in high school, so it's been a while. But my cousins are still there. I need to get back out there. Legendary vacay spot. Bubba talks about it all the time. So yeah, he's always like, we'll go places. We'll go to Vegas or went to Malibu.

He's like, yeah, it's cool, but it's no Breezy Point. Yeah, Breezy Point's the best. I mean, you ride your bikes everywhere. Yeah, there's no cars. That's why I like it. There's no cars. He always says there's no cars or you can ride your bike all over the place. So yeah, every street's like blocked off.

It's crazy. I have a fear of cars. He got hit by a car. So that actually works really well. He's the Breezy Point King. Allegedly got hit by a car. It's a magical place for sure. Okay, so last, last question I had.

You went to Moeller High School. I hear all the time that like their soccer program's good, but they never want anything. Yeah. I mean, I can't comment. I didn't play soccer, but yeah, I think this is someone I'm going to have to reach out to. The, the, with Mike Welker. Yeah, that's him.

Yeah, I think so. I'm coaching for his job right now. He's making a break at year. Yeah. This is actually really mean because Welker, and I've known him for a decade. He does our t-shirts for people who don't know the behind the scenes. He's done it for literally like a decade with Barstool.

He's like an all-time nice guy, great guy, but he definitely will be like, wait, am I on the hot seat? Fuck. Does he listen to the show? Yeah. I'm sure he will. Yeah. He was at the game.

He was decked out in Bengal's gear. So, um, yeah, he's going to be nervous that we put him on the hot seat. I mean, his midfield connection with the full backs needs some work. There's just, it's, it's like they're not even playing soccer out there. It's like they're playing just like four in the back, four up front. Get your midfielders. It's actually hustle their ass back on defense, Mike. Hashtag Welker out.

I mean, you guys are speaking foreign language. I don't know anything about soccer. You're the cross guy. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to get the details of that story. Um, all right. Well, Sam, congrats again, man.

So awesome. Unbelievable play. That play, like I watched it like five times before we got on the set of you. Like that's, it's an all-time moment for the city of Cincinnati. Oh, I have one last, last question. Go ahead. What sound does Patrick Mahomes make when you sack him? Oh, uh, I mean, when you tackle somebody like that, you're like in the pile.

You just hear like, just like, no, like, no specific sound. I mean, uh, I saw him after the game though, shook hands. He's a class act. Just, you know, told us to go win it all. Just, uh, you know, great competitor. Yeah. What about big Ben? What, what sound does he make when you sack him?

Barts. I, uh, yeah, I, I had one this year where I like did a text and came underneath and like happened to be falling and like took his legs out. And it was just like a tabletop situation. And he went down pretty hard because I like heard him fall next to me. Um, but yeah, he's, he got back up. I don't think he makes any sounds. Yeah.

He got back up. All right. Well, Sam, uh, best of luck in the Super Bowl. We're rooting for you. Uh, really appreciate you coming on. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Sam Hubbard was brought to you by our good friends over at black rifle coffee,

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We're going to be drinking black rifle coffee, making sure to stay alert and awake on the road. We love black rifle coffee. Go to black rifle coffee dot com slash take and use code take today. Get the freshest coffee in America shipped to you. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Uncle Chaps. I don't like being here. What? Here.

It was the couch a second ago. Just like a more general. This couch stinks. It's not an ad, right? Billy. Is this couch in there? That is Billy's spot that his ass is usually in. It's so flattened out.

You're like so much lower than you guys. Billy, did you stink couch that? Is it stinky? Not stinks. Like it's just not comfortable. It's not a good spot. Like I feel like I can't be relaxed. I got to lean forward a little bit.

Have you thought about lying down on it? No. We had a professional cuddler come in here and cuddled with Jake. Would you like to cuddle with Jake? Would that make you feel better? Yeah, it was good to break it in. Yeah, it was. It was very sexual.

Yeah, there you go. We're going to say hang. That looks better. That looks comfy. That's better. Yeah. You're a handy man, Chaps. Big time toolie.

Billy broke the couch probably 18 months ago. He was tasked with fixing it and this was the leg. How do you think as a craftsman, how do you think he did? How's he done? I just saw that it was like at a sharp angle. That's not good. Yeah, there's a box of what? See four seltzers.

Four seltzers. That's probably going to stick around for a while. I got the job done. I would say it's a very troop thing of him to do to improvise, adapt and overcome. But you say it stinks. Does it stink? Does the couch stink? No, it's just not a good couch.

You're doing the yucky fingers. Yeah, it feels kind of yucky. Like and not from like I'm obviously a gross dude. I don't mind that. No, you fix your eyes. Yeah, I have. I'm doing skincare now, by the way. Oh, you need it.

You need it. Did you see me in a Dead Sea mask? No, I did not see that. I was in a Dead Sea mask. Okay. What is that? You just put it on your face and let it sit? Yeah, it's like mud from the Dead Sea.

That's cool. I don't even know if it's really from the Dead Sea. What's shipping on that? $4.99. Nice. Not bad. Ship anywhere. Yeah.

All right, so you're doing skincare. Your eyes look better. Your face looks the same. How's Gussie Boy? Gussie Boy from Heaven Above is doing great. Babydale Woohoo. A little bit of trouble right now. He's at a rebellious stage.

He's about two and a half. He's kind of near his rebellious stage. He does not want to go outside to go to the bathroom when it's cold. Wait, do dogs have, I just kind of said yeah, and went along with that like dogs knowingly go through rebellious stage. Oh, the terrible twos is a real thing.

I don't know if that's true. I love it. Yeah, it is. Terrible twos for dogs. And then they just stay bad for the rest of the lives. No, the triumphant threes. They're back at home. Yeah, yeah.

They're kings again. Wait, but wouldn't that be dog years? Wouldn't that be when they're like three months old to four months old? It's the same as adolescence. So whenever you're two years old, you're looking at your prime preteen teenage years and they're very angsty.

Yeah, what about Sprinkly Dinks? Sprinkly Dinks is doing great. Been shedding a little bit more. Her and baby Dale, woohoo, best buds now. But didn't you say that about? No, I did it. They're best buds, so go out and buy that relationship. Yes, my dogs and cats are best friends.

That's awesome. And always have been. And it also shows you have no fear. None. Just get back on that horse. Yeah, that's it. Otherwise, you'll never be able to put your cat in the same room as your dog again.

I do have a double dose of PTSD. One from the gunshot wound. One from leaving my animals together. Now, if we go somewhere, we definitely don't have the cats and dogs in the same room. That's smart, that's smart. So I also want to talk to you while you're here about your beloved Jaguars who seem to be doing

all the right things. They hired Byron Leftwitch a couple days ago. As reported by me. They signed him officially. He's doing some other interviews just to, you know, just to kind of like get his name out there a little bit. I think the Jaguars are the first coach to ever have their current head coach taking interviews with other teams.

Yeah, the Jags are kind of an abomination to the Lord right now. God, he's Jags. Well, it's smart because he's, what he's doing is he's, he's going out there and he's finding out about other teams. He's getting a little side source. I don't think it's, what I really think happened, I think I fucked the Jags again. Like whenever it first happened and I got Adam Schefter

to report that Olivier Vernon was going to sign with the Jags. Right. I later found out from people that work with the Jags, you honest to God probably cost the Jags signing him because his agents saw it. They saw the numbers and they went back to the giants. Oh no. I'm like, this is the number.

He got a little bit more than that number. And I've been told by people in the Jags that were in the GM spots, like those offices that it could have cost them. I legitimately think it's possible that I did that with Byron Leftwitch. Jesus. That they were about to go over the finish line and the only thing that was left was them to really sign the contracts

to figure out what, when Trent Balkie was going to leave. And now it might not happen. He had, the, the, everyone's been saying that Byron Leftwitch wants to be the Jags head coach, but only if Balkie goes. Yeah. Because everybody hates Balkie apparently. Like everyone in the NFL, except for like four or five people. Urban Meyer.

Urban Meyer hates him. No, Urban Meyer likes him. No, Urban Meyer just said he would tolerate him. Oh, okay. Because Urban Meyer, like Shad asked Balkie, from what I understand, he asked Balkie if Urban Meyer, if you wanted to stand with Urban Meyer, Urban Meyer was like, I don't know if he's going to fit in the NFL, but I will stay if I can be the GM.

So he stayed as the GM. Urban Meyer was like, I just want somebody that's been around the NFL for a while. I haven't. Urban Meyer didn't do any of the hiring for his coordinators or anything like that. It was all Trent Balkie people that he went out and got. So that.

It wasn't Urban that even ran his coaching circuit. So when he said, when he called them all losers, that actually he's allowed to do that. Because he didn't pick them. Yeah, right. Balkie's losers. Right. What, why, why does Trent Balkie have the job that he has

right now? I have no idea. He must have like dick pics or something. Well, he did an okay job with the Niners. No, he didn't. Like when you look back at the, what, who he drafted with the Niners. I think it was Scott McLuhan that did those drafts.

Yeah, he really stocked up the roster. Right. He had, he came into a good roster and then he had a good roster. Because remember when San Francisco went on that run, everybody was like, San Francisco was built for a decade. Yeah. They have all these young studs.

Yeah. They have all the Joe Staley. Like they had a great offensive line. They had a great defensive line and they were going to stick around forever. And then Balkie started drafting all the players with torn ACLs. So instead of keeping young talent, they were like, this

dude's a superstar, but he has a torn ACL and they were banking on that. And then with free agency, he never wanted to go out and make a free agency splash because he believed in building through the draft and all that, which is great, but you have to supplement and he didn't want to. He was, he was the GM according to this 2011 of the Colin Kaepernick when he drafted Kaepernick in the second round.

Yeah. And Alden Smith was a good pick. Obviously he had issues. His draft picks this year, like Campbell, the corner from Georgia, he played poorly the first four or five games easily one of the best rookie corners in the NFL after, after that, like he was a pretty shut down corner for this Jags defense.

He also drafted little from Sanford and he was, that dude had missed like two straight years and he's come in and played great. He might even beat out Cam Robinson if they don't bring him back for left tackle. And then you get Travis Etienne back next year. Etienne comes back next year too. So out of the remaining coaches, if for whatever reason,

some weird wacky reason Byron left, which decides to not coach your beloved Jaguars, who are you thinking it's going to be? Who do you want? I said when the whole search started that the top three guys were probably Doug Peterson, Jim Caldwell and Byron Left, which those are the ones that I want. I think Doug would be a good choice.

Personally, of all the ones that I think will make the biggest impact, it would be Caldwell. Like I think Caldwell coming in, being that steady voice, he's been in the league for a long time, probably go out and get like Pep Hamilton to be the offensive coordinator, somebody like that that's developed quarterbacks too, put that in, draft Neil number one overall from the left tackle from Alabama, get him to come in as the left tackle.

And then I honest, like I've done those PFT mock drafts. Top wide receiver available for the rest of the draft. Do you now say, so what you're saying now is you're not looking for a new quarterback? No, no. And how dare you? I'm just asking, there was there's so many people that like he should demand a trade.

Shut up, demanded trade. He should have demanded it. It's one year. Jaguars should be a boss. Jaguars should cut him. Trevor. Oh, you mother. Trevor Lawrence has been discussed.

Why would you say that? It was Billy's Billy's theory actually turned out to be kind of true that Trevor Lawrence had never lost before. And it's going to be tough for his rookie year. I will say, paying attention to the Jags, what you guys clearly don't do, the Jags. This guy, Trevor Lawrence was essentially like a front office dude this year too.

Like he would answer questions, even when urban, the offensive coordinator, when bevel wouldn't, he would answer questions like from the franchise, this perspective as a rookie. Like he was way more impressive than I thought he would be. Okay. So you're still high on Trevor Lawrence. That's good.

It's tough to be a quarterback when you don't have anyone who can even catch. I'm giving you, I think he's still going to be fine. But there has been conversations on this podcast about him maybe being a bust. I think he makes some throws that are just unbelievable. I think he might be a bust. I'll be honest with you.

I've said it before. He's, the last game was nice. The game that he had against the Colts. Walk us through that. That was like your Super Bowl this year. Tell us about your Super Bowl chaps. You beat the chaps. No, I don't think that, I don't think that was our Super Bowl.

I think beating the Bills was our Super Bowl. Oh, 9-6. That was a great game. That was a good game. If the Bills had won that game, it would have been a home. They would have been at home versus Chiefs. So we ruined their season. They would have been at home against the Chiefs

and the Colts would have made the playoffs. Wow. My pinky would have been gone, possibly. Colts look good. I'm so confident that Trevor Lawrence isn't a bust. If they don't make the AFC Championship in, I would say, on his Brookings, don't say this. Do you contract?

Yep. I will get. Five years. We can go three years. So yeah. Oh my God. No, I'll do four years. We don't even have to do, no, five years.

We'll do five years. But it's been four years. I will come up wherever we're recording. I will go both of my big toenails removed. Oh, wow. By Billy? Sure, but I got to get the painkillers. I'm not doing it straight.

No, Billy. No, you get painkillers in one. One leg. One leg. We'll address you. Okay. So we have a test case of how pain he's got to get to the AFC Championship

game in the next four years. That's, you're insane. This is the Jaguars we're talking about. Yeah, they just did it. Lake Portals isn't walking through that door. They just did it. Chapsi. What?

As your lawyer, I advise you not to do this. I'm going to do it. But as your friend and someone who wants to see you in pain, I advise you to do it. What, now, what about Trevor Lawrence's long hair, though? We've discussed all the time on this show. You can't win a Super Bowl if you're quarterback with long hair. I think he's a trendsetter.

I think he can. I think he's that guy. But I also feel like there's going to be a time. I wouldn't be surprised when he turns like 25. He's like, look, that's a young man's game. Whoa, is that how he talks? He's got a deep voice. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, Trevor, how'd you like having Urban around? It sucked. It wasn't great. Hey, Trevor, some people are calling you a bust. Imagine going from Dabo to Urban. Like Dabo's a mile a minute. And Dabo ain't fingering nobody's butthole.

No, maybe Jesus. He's all right. Yeah. Yeah. Got the crucifix right up there. Right. That's exactly what I'm sorry for saying that. You should be.

All right. So what else is going on in your world? Because the roasts for everyone to understand, we have one single roast because they don't update. Apple doesn't update. Next time we'll have the roast that we're submitted this time. We can read the one roast. But what else is going on?

We just want to catch up with you. We love you. I don't have a whole lot going on. I'll be honest. That's all right. So don't say that. Why? To like Dave.

I've heard that doesn't work. Oh, you want like a work update? Yeah. I'm doing a fucking podcast. Like who cares? Nice. I'm doing military podcast. Still doing that.

Pop father is very fun. We got a new channel called Barstool Grown Up. I saw that. And large has given out some of these cooking tips. Unbelievable. Makes it easy even for the dumbest people to do it. I got to hop on that. I'm back in on Kool-Aid.

Yeah. Oh, do you tell? Well, I would notice I was getting back up there in Elbees. Oh. I had put on probably around 25 pounds. And I think it was because I was hugely back into soda. So your Kool-Aid has sugar? Yeah, wait.

Kool-Aid. No, see. Yeah. No, no. I'm talking squirt Kool-Aids. OK. Yo, the little corduoles. Yeah.

Like those little things not actually like putting the sugar into the Kool-Aid. Yeah. Not doing that. Just a little quick squirt bottle. What about water? I don't like that water much. Just water?

Mm-mm. Water doesn't do it for you. What about this water's good, though. Some water. New York water. Yeah. I like that water. It's fine.

But I want flavor. And then I would always go to like a Dr. Pepper or something like that. So I've been back in on Kool-Aid big time. That's great, though, that you just can cut that out. Like, I always wish that I drank soda or beer, too much of that stuff. So I'd be like, oh, I'm going to lose some weight

by just cutting it out. Of course, I just eat like shit. Well, it's because I've been addicted to that 1,000-pound sister show. Really, all the super fatty shows have been just consuming nonstop. Do they lose weight? Some of them.

And it's hilarious when they do. Because they think they look awesome. And it gases me up. Like, they are so confident that it just feels good watching. Yeah. Did you used to watch The Biggest Loser show? No.

With Jillian Michaels? Because I felt like they did a lot of fat shaming. So they did. They did. And there was like a real, I enjoyed the show for like five years. I got really into The Biggest Loser. Because it was inspirational.

It was, you know, 53% of their body weight over the course of like nine months through working out and eating healthily through, you know, for the first time in their life. But then the last one that I saw, this girl lost probably 60% of her body weight. And she came out at the reveal at the end. And she looked like she was going to die.

And everybody in the audience was like, I don't think that we should, we should probably not clap for this. And then they just took the show off the air. It's like when Kelly looked at the show. Like Kelly from The Office when she just starts drinking like hot honey so she can get into like a bathing suit. It's the same type of thing where eventually it gets

a little bit unhealthy. But watching them and how they get that spot is just, it's an eye opener. Because you could see you drink one soda, you drink two. Next thing you know, you're sitting in a recliner, you can't move and you're pissing on a puppy pee pad and you've drank like 24 Mountain Dews. Yeah, just drink more water.

Right. So that's a good solution. Just drink more water, you'll be healthier. But don't drink three gallons a day. Like that psycho that tweeted that. There's no way. That is true. Three to four gallons a day of water.

You would die. You would die. It's drowning yourself. Yes. I try to look up what the world record is for water consumption in a day. But it gets to the point where they're like, anything over two and a half gallons is incredibly dangerous.

Yeah. Yeah. If you do that three or four gallons a day for a year, that's crazy. You first, apparently, if you drink that much water, you feel like you're high and then you just die. What's that? Yeah, it's hydroglycemic, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Because it floods your cells, the sodium content of your blood and your body dips so low that you're not even thinking straight. It's almost like you're climbing a mountain without oxygen. You get hypoxia, I think. Yeah, they change the rules at boot camp.

Because at boot camp, at the end of the day, they always talk about drinking water. That's soft. Huge piss charts everywhere. Like, where are you at? Are you a good teammate? You're going to be a good teammate? You want to be a good teammate?

Who doesn't? So everybody stands online at the end of the night and they'll have two or three canteens and you're supposed to down them. Well, people are doing that so much and getting forced water so much, people are getting sick with hydroglycemic. That's soft.

The Chinese army doesn't do that. No, they don't do that. They don't do that. They embrace, they drink water like a motherfucker over in China. Oh, yeah, they fucking love water. What are your thoughts on waterboarding? It's not fun. It hurts a lot.

To give it or to take? To receive. Have you done that? Yeah, I've done it. Oh, we're not giving it. Never given. Wait, what does it feel like? Like, so you did it as a training?

How long did you do it for? Just to see what it felt like and it wasn't even supervised it was just me and some buddies just chilling. Oh, damn. We were at Okinawa, we just took turns doing it. Tie yourself down, put the rag over your mouth and you just have somebody pour water over you

and it feels like you're legitimate and only drowning. Holy shit. It's not fun. No. I thought it was going to be fun when I did my buddies. I was like, okay, this will be a cool thing that we can laugh at and then you just panic.

Yeah. It does feel like you're underwater. Billy? Beer boarding is also not fun. Yeah, that's good that you learned that on your own, though. Yeah. Everyone's got to go through there. They got to find their way on their own.

Don't put it in there, man. Just don't beer board yourself. All right, so Chaps, you got podcasts. You've got long time toolies. Anything else that we're catching up with you? You want to give us a big time, Tommy? Sure, what do you want? I don't know.

Anything to get us motivated. He's going down to Delray Beach. Oh, you want me to find a motivational quote? He tags me every now and then. Did you see the video of him diving straight up into the snow? No, I didn't see it. You got to check it out. It's on his Instagram page.

He's like, I'm getting out of New York. I'm going big time, Tommy. He's going down to Delray, Florida where I can drive my Cadillacs and smoke my cigars and they just did a straight up face plant into the snow and came up. It's looking like the grizzly bear from the I fucking love cocaine meme.

It was awesome. I wish we would do something together. I feel like him and I, we could just motivate the world just to be there. Spider-Man meme. He likes the part of my take Instagram posts. He tags me every now and then in random posts that I don't know.

Where does he get all these cars? Are they all his? He's old school. He's like a car dealer. It's old school. No, he's big time. But I think it's more old school than big time. Big time motors would be huge.

Big time motors. Come on down and see big time. You're getting fucked when you go to that dealership. He's got all the. You're not getting beat up. You're in the market for a new Cadillac. Come on down to big time motors. He's got like 10.

He's got tattoos of dollar signs on both his arms. He's like, I'll give you the greatest deal in town. He's got like old school Cadillacs and stuff. See it's fucking, he's a classic. With every car you get a 24 inch TV because that's the old school way. All right, give it to us. All right.

This is a ballet motivational quote. Successful people aren't born that way. They become successful by establishing a habit of doing things. Unsuccessful people don't want to do. That's the old school way. O.S. for life. Tickety.

We're not liver king. How's liver king doing? Liver king, I'm out on liver king. Why? I feel like liver king. Is he canceled? No, not canceled, but he's so self aware. No.

Like, liver king, you're not fucking putting a sled out and pulling it with your teeth because you read about the mandibles of our ancient ancestors. That's not what you're doing. He's doing it for the clicks. Have you seen the ones where he sleeps on essentially a cedar pallet? Like he's got his bed in his room,

which first of all, he said he put some paint up that's Wi-Fi proof because that's not, our ancient ancestors would never have Wi-Fi in that room. That's true. That's a fact. It is true. It is true. They also didn't have rooms.

No, and then he doesn't even have Wi-Fi at his house but he'll have like a thousand foot cord of cat five, like cord that he pulls out into the middle of his yard and that's where he does his business. Amazing. Like that seems to be bad too, but he's got this pallet that's like two feet off the ground that's made from wood and it's got maybe

a half an inch thick mattress and he's like, this is where me and liver queen get it on. Damn, dude. What do you say, Billy? Liver king, low key a business genius. Yes. Because he's figured out how to sell, he's a rancher, he's figured out how to sell

the one part of cattle that was the hardest to sell at true Oregon meat and then he grinds it up and like the returns on like one liver must be insane. How much time? Oh yeah, because I bought some. I bought some of the ancestral liver pills. And how did it make you feel? Oh, gave me diarrhea.

But you had diarrhea anyway. But it like upped it. It was like turn on the faucet. Here we go. It was like diarrhea that went from being like a Heisman trophy winning quarterback in college and then they stepped on the NFL for the field and the whole speed is just complete.

So velocity increases, velocity and volume? Yeah. Diarrhea had diarrhea. Yeah, I mean you don't see Ed Reed coming across the middle when you're at LSU. Yeah, right. You just don't. Yeah, fuck.

That sounds pretty cool though. The liver supplements, what do cows eat though that they would need to have a great liver? I feel like cows don't get fucked up. I don't know what they would need that liver for, Billy. Cows got like seven stomachs. Yes, true. Yeah, but just the one liver

so it just works overtime. And the liver is enormous. Have you seen the ones whenever they really pull it out and put it on a picnic table? It'll be like, it's legitimately the size of a pig. I've not seen that. No. It sounds incredible.

It's got to be a 90 pound liver, you think? Oh, I love it. Liver King puts them on his shoulder and they're about the same size of his whole torso. Yeah, I would say it's probably a 90 pound liver. Jesus Christ. That's a lot of liver pills you can sell. A lot of diarrhea pills.

A lot of nutrients in there, buddy. You're probably not doing the simulated hunts though. No, not nearly as much as I should. You're absolutely right. So then the pills probably don't... No, the pills probably don't have the right effect on you. No, they wouldn't. Because you haven't embraced the entire liver King primal program.

And just here now, because we all... Every time I come on, I feel like we're very honest. I haven't done a lick of a super serious Saturday simulated hunt. I haven't done one. What? Where we go super, what does he call it? Going super savage mode on Saturdays. Oh, no.

I haven't done a single one of those. Well, that's why the liver pills don't work. Probably. You're just not doing it right. No. I haven't even narrowed a single fermented chicken egg. Oh, man. That's tough, man.

This guy is slacking. I've been doing simulated hunts with my dog Ben Mintz. Wow. On the weekends. I saw... Hunting who? Ben Mintz. Mintz gets simulated prey.

So I give him a 10-minute head start and he goes and runs. And then I have this new leash with my dog that wraps around my waist. So hands free and then he runs. So then we go looking for him in... In the city? No, no. This is in where we live, in the neighborhood. So he gets...

Wait, so that's the city? Yes, but it's like... What? It's a little bit... It's not like it was the wood. Well, it's not legal to do that in New York, but it is in Jersey. It's sort of like a hide-and-seek game, but... Then you wrestle.

How many times have you done this? Like once for... You see Ben got a little too tired and it got a little too cold. So he was just sitting there like out of breath on a park bench? Exactly. So I thought he'd be moving. But Ben, it's... Did you have anything of Ben's around your dog?

No, so what we did is we put a little treats in his pocket and made him smell before. It's quite the scene. Yeah. You know, you gotta get him in shape some way. And I have a theory that the fear might up his metabolism. That's a... That's... I think that's a fact.

Have you trained your dog how to attack at all? I think that would really help. Do a little aggression. Nah. I'm just more the food motivation as opposed to... Because then if Ben has to come feed him and he's like Ben's prey. Yeah, you got a problem. Well, you would feed him.

Be good content. Yeah. And he would... Just treat him like a cat. Yeah. Damn. That was... That was me.

That was something. Sorry, Chaps. Don't leave Billy's dog and Ben Menzel alone together. Chaps, do you have any questions for us? Anything you need to get off your chest while you're here? Do you guys think Joe Burrow is actually cute? Or people... No, not cute.

He's devastating. Like, do you think he's sexy or is it his personality that makes him sexy? I feel like it's more personality than just straight-up look. I don't think that he would be as attractive if he had a different personality with that look. I think the look and personality work together symbiotically. I think he's a good looking dude and then the personality makes him a great looking dude. Yeah, because when he shows up in those Cartier glasses and he has that coat on, you just want to pull that thing out and give it a little suck.

I mean, no matter who you are. Confidence. Yeah. Just a tiny little kiss. Yeah. Maybe not even a suck. Just a lick. Is he...

If you win a Super Bowl in Cincinnati, do you think that's the best spot that you could win it right now? No, Buffalo. Buffalo? Oh yeah, Buffalo. Detroit, probably up there. Buffalo, I think. But it's in the top five.

Yeah. Sinceie, Jacksonville, Buffalo, don't. I don't know if I did too well. No, Jacksonville's not there. Yeah, if you win a Super Bowl in Jacksonville, you're a king forever. No, I think that credit goes to their head coach Byron Lefwich for Turn of the Franchise. That might be true.

I think it would be Sinceie Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo. I actually, I do think if you won it in Chicago, because look what they fucking, look what everyone talks about the 85 Bears. But you guys have won. Right, but like the, I always say like the punter from the 85 Bears sells cars. You know what I mean? So if Rex Grossman won it, do you think that would go... I think he would have, yeah, it would be pretty off the charts.

I also think that Dallas Cowboys, if you win a Super Bowl for the Cowboys, you become a thing for the rest of your life. That's a very good one, yeah. I think Detroit, I think it's Detroit, Buffalo, and Sinceie. Oh, I think Detroit, Buffalo, Cleveland are top three, Sinceie four. Also New England, until you turn your back on that franchise and your fans. True. 15 years down the line and forget about everything they did for you.

But until that point, you'll be a legend there. 20 years, but... Watching that just happen, like the Patriots fans just reading it, like it's got to be coming soon. I thought there was going to be... It is still like seven times to the size coming. If it's a one page note app, you're like, okay, well, he might not have been able to put those two words in there.

No, it was one page, he just split it up. Into eight. That was, that was... I did think there was going to be one that was going to just be like, and to Dave Portnoy, thank you for going to jail for me. Yeah. Like, but they had also that blog post about my son. Maybe he should come on your show to explain.

I agree. They had to go like this, reading it through like, all right, Patriots, but nothing about Patriots. All right, nothing. Wait, no, nothing about New England. Wait, how many more dots do I have? Okay, still four more dots. I mean, you could tell halfway through his part

that he wrote about Bruce Ariand. You could tell Brady was teared up. Oh, yeah. And that like, you could see the shaking on there. I wish he hadn't threaded them. It would have been even funnier. They were just, you know, when someone tries to do a thread and they just fail. Super annoying one where they'll quote, tweet it and add more.

So then you got to go back fucking 20 years. Yes, like a Rex Chapman prompt. At least with an individual tweet, you can just go through their timeline. The other way is the most annoying. All right, well, Chaps, thank you as always for coming on. You want to pick a number? Yeah.

Get in the show. Yeah. I'm going to do number 21. I'm going to mix it up now. I'm going to do 12. After the birth table. Oh, is it bad luck to say it before it starts spinning? No, it's just bad luck in general.

This machine is bad luck. I'm going to say it's not. I kind of like it. 44. I know you're coming off a win. I know, I know. Why are you bashing this? I did.

I said, I kind of like it. 69. Honestly, I still have PTSD. No offense, Chaps, from the Blake of the Year contest. 56 for the Super Bowl. 12. I'm going to go one. Come on, 21.

Oh, 45. Billy's favorite number. No, that's 46, right? No, he loves 45. He loves 45. He just loves all presidents. Yes. Yeah.

Just a fan of the game. Huge. There you go. Love you guys. Love you. Do you get a fact, Billy? Llamas and Alpacas spit. Hey, did you know that?

Yeah, dude. It's hot. I don't think you need that. I didn't. I know so much about Llamas and Alpacas. What's your favorite one? Of Between the Two? Yeah.

More of an Alpaca guy. OK. They're cute. I checked it out. I think Llamas are bigger, right? Yeah, and the Alpacas fur is a lot softer. Yeah. You can actually make a good amount of money

raising Alpacas in this country. Oh, buddy, you make an Alpaca sweater? Yeah. You're swimming in cash. I think that's my retirement plan. I think I just move out to the country somewhere and get an Alpaca farm. That would be awesome.

I'll come too. Alpacas also ward off coyotes and predators. If you have like a flock of sheep, goats, you want to throw an Alpaca in this. That's got to be so confusing for the coyotes though, because the coyote, if it sees an Alpaca, it's probably like, ooh, tasty treat. Alpacas look like they'd be great coyote food, right?

They spit. They spit. They'll spit right at coyotes. They'll spit the shit out of the coyote. Anyway, today's another day to find you, trying to wait. I'll be coming for your love, okay? You're fearless to sleep, I'm eyes in dance, but I'll be a star made no way. Slowly learn of the land, it's open, stay after me.

That's not bad, you'll be safe, it's all right. Stay on me, stay on me, oh, stay on me, oh, stay on me, oh. Be gone, and I'll do it for you. I'll be gone. I'll be gone. I'll be gone.