Pardon My Take - Brooks Koepka, SB 55 Clean Up, Big Cat Has Covid & Rovell Vs PFT

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

Big Cat has Covid which means zoom shows this week and March Madness is officially back on.(2:10-10:27) Cleaning up SB 55 and the stories lingering a couple of days later. (10:28-23:13) Hot Seat/Cool Throne plus Billy tells us about his fight.(23:14-53:38) Brooks Koepka joins the show to talk about his big win Sunday, coming back from injury, sportsmanship in golf, and winning next years Blake of the year. (56:07-1:22:04) PFT vs Rovell at Rough and Rowdy 14?(1:23:15-1:33:20) And we finish with guys on chicks (1:33:21-1:40:14)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our good, good friend, Brooks Kepka, off his huge win this weekend at the Waste Management Open. We also have some Super Bowl cleanup, some show news, unfortunate show news. We have some hot seat, cool throne, guys on chicks, Billy's in Florida, but he's zooming in.

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Yeah, so okay, so here is my, so in real talk, real quick real talk, then we're gonna, we'll have fun with the show. I'm okay. It sucks. I'm now isolated in a hotel room, and basically not leaving until I start testing negative. It was also, you know, we did everything, I wore a mask all the time. It just sucks. I don't know what it is, didn't take it lightly, wasn't like, I haven't been to a bar in a

fucking year plus, I haven't been to a restaurant on any of that shit. I basically go to work and go home. So it happened, you probably, I think some people kind of caught onto it because I just wasn't around, and also we're on Zoom, so we'll be on Zoom probably for the rest of this week. Here is my one silver lining that I thought of. If you remember, around this time last year, so a little bit later, March, right before the tournament, I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus.

Yeah. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself with coronavirus. So I think that getting it is finally karma. And on top of that, it means that we will officially will have a March Madness tournament this year. Yeah. You would have absolutely opened yourself up for all sorts of hate if for some reason March Madness got delayed, there were logistic errors related to coronavirus.

If that happened and you had not gotten coronavirus yet, the calls for you to like go to a packed restaurant down in Florida with Billy and just start sucking face with every co-ed that you see like Morgan Waller, actually Hank bleep his name out, would be astronomical. That's all that you'd hear. So yes, I think in a weird way, it might pretend good things. Now I do hope that you're healthy. I hope that you make a full recovery. Oh, I feel like shit.

I feel terrible. I got a question. Yeah. Well, just just in case you don't recover, would you want us to like dig up your body and cut your pinky off and make your team make your pick your pinky team right now for next year so we that we we know who to track it for. Oh, okay. My pinky team for next year will be Oh, fuck.

Well is this this my pinky team if I'm dead? Yeah. So I can pick a different team if I'm all right. Yeah. Do do do the do the Packers if if if the Packers win the Super Bowl and if I die in the Packers win the Super Bowl, cut my pinky and throw it in Aaron Rodgers face. It there's like a point zero zero zero five percent chance that we have to do that. Yeah.

I mean, look, we we don't this episode in the history of the show. We don't take we have not taken we know we've had fun because we're a fun show and we're we're not trying to you know, we take the piss out of pretty much everything, but this does suck. I do feel like shit. It sucks that it happened, but it's a pandemic. We're not COVID shaming. I'm sure do you think that here's my one question.

Do you think the people that hate us will like shame me? Do you think they'll try to find a way you think so? Oh, because that's fucking bullshit. Like Bryson Bryson DeChambeau is going to have a highlight reel coming out in the next three days for sure. No, but I'm not like a 24 year old kid who's like going to spring break or like going to Florida after he wins a fight against Jose Canseco and blacking out at a bar like and being irresponsible.

I'm a fucking 36 year old dad that went from work to home, work to home. And it was bound to happen if you know, we had a couple of work trips that took us out there and that's part of I made the calculated risk. I knew what was going to happen if I had to leave my little bubble. I did it because I love my job and I wanted to keep working and you know, it sucks. Yeah. Actually now is the most powerful time. I think that you can issue a clear statement telling people and remind them wear a mask.

Yeah. Wear a mask. Wear a mask people. Mask up. Let's just say this too. Can I do some PR real quick? No. I had COVID three weeks ago and like I didn't want to talk about it too much because.

Oh, that's weird. I wonder how I got it. Yeah, dude. You might have got it from me, but I went through quarantine. You fucking dick. I don't. Dude, I do. You were like in your mask and go near you.

Legitimately. I like, I'm. All right. Shut up, Billy. Mute it. Mute it, Billy. Billy killing all of us would be one of those. It would be the ultimate.

Like you get what you bargain for a moment. I also love that Billy just tried to go. He raised his hand. He said, can I do some quick PR and then just implicated him himself and giving me coronavirus? Thanks, dude. Appreciate it. Whatever. It has a major chickens coming home to Roost moment for us for sure.

I think that you want, do you want me to bring like an Xbox to your hotel room? Do you want? No. I bought a book. I bought a book. No big deal. I bought a book. On my phone.

No, I bought a book on my phone. I'm going to try to read it on my phone. I'll let everyone know if I can't read a fucking book stuck in a hotel in Manhattan for a week by myself doing literally not going anywhere, then I think that might just be it for me and reading. It might just be the big short was it and I was, I'm walking off off. So here's the thing. If big cats got it, obviously Hank, me, Jake are taking all the necessary precautions.

That's why we're staying in our hotel room or in our, in our apartments as well. Billy's in hotel room doing God knows what, but we're going to take it to, we're getting tested all week long, but the chances of big cat having it, none of us having it pretty low. So we're like dying. So I probably his feeling sick, even though Hank does look like he is the ultimate Twitch gamer right now. Like his room with the blue light, you just need like you need neon, you need to wrap

like neon lights around normie and then just have him walking around the background to make it like a true Twitch room. But if you have it, like if you contacted Jose Canseco, was he a close contact during the interview? I mean, at least he doesn't have, he doesn't have any like preexisting breathing conditions that we need to be worried about. Does he? Yeah.

Listen, Jose Canseco, you now have been told, uh, I tested positive on Monday, but who knows? So might, might want to take the precaution. I don't think Jose Canseco respects COVID. I don't think he respects anything in his life scumbag, but he now knows the mask that he was wearing actually wasn't, it wasn't a COVID mask. That was just a sleep apnea device. Yes. Yes.

So I, we are taking every precaution, you know, uh, a lot of people who were on different trips have been sent home to quarantine for the week. Um, and yeah, we'll be doing zooms till at least the very earliest would be Sunday, but it probably won't even be, you know, probably be next week, Tuesday or something. So, uh, all right, should we talk about other things and if I do survive, which I plan on surviving, I will be saying I'm a COVID survivor. Just so everyone's clear. Yeah.

I have one last question. So you still have your sense of taste, right? Yup. That's a bummer. That's a bummer because if you needed help like going on your diet, your post-superbowl diet, I wish I didn't have a sense of taste right now because I've eaten salads two days in a row. My body has entirely rejected it.

It ran through me like, like I was a goose. It was bad. I wish I didn't have to eat this crap. Well, so here's the thing. I have a sense of taste, but I have zero appetite. I, I, I have, uh, look at this, a big bag of pirates, but this is all I've had in the last 48 hours. So every like three hours, I'll just take a handful to see if I still have my sense of

taste. And I guess we'll pass it right now. Live on camera. This is electric. All right. He seems to be involved. He seems to be involved. How many balls?

How many balls? How many balls? Four point two. Still cheesy. Yeah. So I still, but I don't have any appetite. I haven't eaten anything. Do we need to send you some cookie?

Does it need to be like, like a, uh, a cancer treatment patient who needs to like stimulate their appetite? I'm worried about you wasting away. You know, I'm going to get hot. I'm going to come out of this hotel room hot. We're in the same clothes for fucking seven days straight. Looking hot. Uh, all right.

So let's talk about, let's do some super bowl cleanup. Want to do some super bowl cleanup. I still can't believe Billy just implicated himself. Whatever. Uh, let's do some super bowl cleanup. Um, did you see some, some ridiculous Tom Brady things that came out of this, the stat 344 career games, his, uh, and if you cut his career in half, he's a perfect 132 and 40 and 132 and 40.

How crazy is that? Wait, what Tom Brady has played 344 regular season and post season career games. Yeah. His career games exactly in half. He's a hundred 32 and 40 and a hundred 32 and 40. Is that insane? Yeah. That's, that is crazy.

That's witchcraft. That's turbo Eli Manning. Yeah. Which actually he hasn't gotten better. Yeah. Yeah. He peaked. He peaked too early.

Yeah. The other one was, uh, the story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night, the week leading up to the Super Bowl, just saying, we will win. And I, I have to imagine that's got to be like in terms of text messages, you can get that has to be the, the single most like confidence inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life. Tom Brady just saying, we will win. Yeah.

No, it's powerful. It's like, it's a very short to the point statement where I think if anybody else besides like if Blaine Gabbard sent that text message to everybody each night, you probably get less confident. Right. Tom Brady, we will win sounds extremely profound. Yes. It's like if the, if, uh, someone who is like, if a poet, uh, says something that's just

like a very plain, uh, generic phrase, then, uh, everyone kind of ignores it. But if it, if it's at the end of like a fable involving a frog, a scorpion and a fox trying to cross the river, then it's like, yep, that makes a lot of sense. Like it really hammers at home depending on who is coming from. Yes. Tom Brady texted me right now was like, you will, you will be better tomorrow. I'll probably test negative tomorrow. Like that's, that's, I truly believe that he has those powers now.

It's just everything defies logic when it comes to him. It's like if it's Tom Brady and, uh, the guy with the big hands from shallow how Tony Robbins, those two guys, if they sent me a text saying, we will win, then I would absolutely believe it no matter what I'm also, I'm pretty psyched about the parade that they're going to have in Tampa. They're doing a boat parade. So beautiful boaters are going on the high seas, which I'm going to love seeing people like dress up their Tampa fishing vessels as pirate ships.

It's going to be cool. It's going to be a very unique parade, so I'm glad that they're getting to do something out of it. It's used to those. Yeah. Well, and Hank, remember when we went down to Tampa for the, for the Stanley cup final game two in 2015, they died the ocean blue. They're going to die.

The great people, the great people at Tampa just sat there and Oz they're like, wow, could you look at that? And like, what's going on? Like, wait, also ocean blue. They also, I'm assuming that the boat they're going to be on is a pirate ship. Right. It has to be. They have to rent.

They, they have to rent the biggest commercial pirate ship that's available on the east coast. They, they did this for the, the lightning, the lightning had a boat parade as well. But yeah, they, they absolutely have to have it on a pirate ship. And I actually, I think that if you, if you put Gronk on a pirate ship and you gave him a sword and after the boat parade, you just kept on going out in the Atlantic. Like he would be like, okay, we're just pirates now. Like he would be down for just being a pirate. Million percent.

Bruce Aaron says a barrel full of rum that he keeps with him on the captain's bridge. I think that they should die the ocean red. That'd be sick. Make a little big shark attack happen out there. That'd be very intimidating. Yes. Yes. Um, the other, the other note I had, this one was, uh, uh, Marcus Mosher tweeted this

out the 12 last 12 Super Bowls, the leading rusher in the, on the winning team, the highest salary was $2.5 million. Every other leading rusher was 2.5 or less. So here are the leading rushers Leonard playoff, Lenny, Damian Williams, Sony, Michelle, Laguerre Blunt, Laguerre Blunt, CJ Anderson, Laguerre Blunt. Wow. Three times. Percy Harvin was the highest paid guy at 2.5, not even a running back.

Ray Rice, Ahmad Bradshaw, James Starks, Pierre Thomas. I, I looked at that and I was like, I would love to see someone send that to Jerry Jones and just see what his reaction would be. I think he, yeah, he would be like, I, I want to pay all these guys on this list more money. More money than Zeke. Yeah. But it is also, it makes sense. It makes sense.

But like to us as dumb fans, we always are going to find that like one or two guys that we see as a running back that is currently a difference maker and just assume that this guy is going to be the same guy in four years. But in reality, like the window that you have as an NFL running back to be great is sometimes as small as like six weeks. Right. Sometimes there's like a six week period where you just get in the fucking zone and then you can cruise off that financially for the rest of your life, but it's not something where

you're ever, it's actually very rare to have a running back. That's the most dominant running back in the NFL for like three years. Like that, that is an outlier, even something that wide of a gap. So it's like Derek Henry's peak was probably like the last 16 months and I'll probably not get back up to that ever again. It's also we, you know, whenever a Super Bowl happens, we try to like pick apart the team and try to understand exactly what made that team go. And you, there are certain things, you know, like paying a running back, the, you know,

if the running back position is, is taking up a huge chunk of your, you know, dead cap or salary cap, like, yes, it probably means the rest of your team is not that great. But when it all comes down to it, like a Super Bowl roster has talent everywhere, has to get lucky a few times. Like the fucking bucks, Tristan Worfs, who was their first round draft pick last year out of Iowa, started every single step and was like an incredible offensive lineman for them. Like you have to, you know what I mean?

Like you have, like those things have to happen for every, like when you look at every Super Bowl roster, it's not rocket scientists, you know, science to say that you have awesome blue chippers all over the field and it's not one position or one way of doing it that can make you a Super Bowl team. Like there's different ways to build a Super Bowl roster and trying to figure it out after the fact is always a fun exercise, but it really kind of means nothing. Yeah. I mean, you, you have to have like, you have to strike while the iron's hot with the one

roster that gets hot at the exact right time. It's not like in baseball or it's not like in basketball where you can kind of pencil your way into being like, yeah, if we put this type of roster together, we can find ourselves at least in the final four every single year for the next six, seven years. You can't do that in football. It's impossible. The only way you can do that is if you have Tom Brady on your team, you've got Tom Brady on your team.

Uh, let me rephrase it. The only way you can do that is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that. That's really what makes it the, uh, the easiest way to get to the playoffs into the Super Bowl and the NFL. Hey, it's looking at you like, what the fuck? Hmm.

What do you think, Hank? This is the first I've heard of what you're talking about. Yeah. Actually, the reality is like the formula, you're taking what we said about LeBron and spinning it into an ugly place that I don't, you're right. TV 12 is way different from space jam to, uh, but the real dude, I believe in TV 12 now. Fuck that. I'm, I might face jam to now.

I might buy a TV 12 book and just start dieting. I mean, we all know I'm not going to, but I'm going to say it. Yeah. I have a formula. I've never opened it, but I have it. I can bring it in. The real formula is just having, having a star quarterback whose wife makes more money than him and that way he can afford to take a pay cut.

Yes. Yes. Uh, go ahead, Billy. Dude, the bucks are just a mad and ultimate team. Just like suck pieces put together and like, remember when they lost the giants? Uh, they didn't lose to the Giants. They lost to the Bears. Remember when they, you know, like we're getting beat by the Giants and we're like,

these guys suck. Like they just didn't have chemistry and then they got together. They lost the Giants last year. Yeah. No, the bucks, I mean, it's actually the, yeah, that's true. Daniel Jones first game. The Brady was out of his mind from like the four weeks on, you know, the last four weeks on into the playoffs and they, it is, I think Billy somehow got to like the correct point

in that a lot of times when it comes to the Super Bowl, it is a lot about getting hot at the right time and playing your best football at the right time a year, because Billy is right that like earlier in the year, the bucks did look like a team that had a lot of issues and weren't on the same page. And if you, if you get everything together come late December and you roll it into January, you can be the best team. And I, it's also weird because I think everyone now is like the chiefs suck. They don't suck.

They, they need to get their offensive line healthy, but I, would you bet on Patrick Holmes not being a back and at least the ASC championship next year? I think he's probably going to win a Super Bowl next year. Yeah, right, right. So it's just the, the, the post, the post Super Bowl, like for those like two or three days after the Super Bowl, when we pick apart the carcass of football, because we all just want to keep talking football, it always just makes me laugh a little bit because it's, you know, we do what we do.

It's hot takes. Can we talk about the linebackers and like, especially, I mean, JPP has a defensive lineman with one and a half hands had some interceptions this year. Devin White had great hands this year. Do you think that there's something to the fact that they got extra reps in practice the year before having James Winston as a quarterback, throwing a lot, like doing a couple of extra tip drills a game by accident or per practice. And like they get, they get more reps in and that stuff translates into better

hands in the longterm. I think that James should probably get a ring. James should get a ring. Absolutely. James should get a ring. Um, he, I hope James starts next year. The other, the other notes I had for the Super Bowl cleanup, Hank, you officially, your, your fandom is on, on the hot seat because you were rooting obviously for

Tom Brady, which is totally reasonable, but did you see afterwards Bruce Arians did an interview and the reason like he put a lot of the team's success on giving days off to Tom Brady and Rob Grinkowski, I think Bruce Arians got to be your favorite coach in the NFL now. Absolutely not. He's douchebag. Uh, he was setting himself up. He was, he was setting himself up all season when they were losing.

He was blaming on Brady. And then when they win, he's like giving himself credit. He was, he gives his guys days off. He gives vacation days. That's your style. All right. I mean, that, that's valid. That's my point.

Yeah. I was like, I read the article and I was like Bruce Arians essentially told Tom Brady, whenever you need a day off, just let me know. And he told Gronk, whenever you need a day off, we want you fresh for Sunday. We don't give a fuck about the weekdays. And I thought of you right away. I'm like, this is built. What is Bill Belichick?

No days off. That's kind of how PFT and I run this show where I got COVID right now. What do you like a few days off every now and then? I mean, a few days off can really help someone's mental state. Uh, the scientific studies show that, but I do think that Bruce Arians was playing both sides all season long. Yeah. No, that's fair.

Coaches guy up after the game. He, Bruce Arians thing is always like, he's going to be hardest on his best players. And that's just who it's also the, uh, it's like what Barcel does or like, you get unlimited vacation days, but if you take a vacation, like we're going to shame you, like I'm sure if Brady and Gronk were weren't there, Bruce would be like, Oh, pretty and Gronk weren't here. Like he would, he would as well. Oh, I'd like to point out, uh, that we should be offering our thoughts and

prayers to Hank as well, because Hank, uh, had a vacation plan this weekend. He was going to go to Florida. So he, he's the real thing because you had a vacation plan PFT. I was, I, okay. All right. So are you vacation shaming me now? No, I'm just like, I was picking back on your vacation. No, it's like one for all and all for one.

Like if one of us takes a vacation, we should all take a vacation. I wasn't going to let you take a few days off without like, cause obviously if we came back and it was like, how was your trip? And you had, you couldn't ask me how my trip was. Like that would have been so awkward. So there was, there was a moment, there was a moment at like, I, it was like, I was talking to Rhea, we're going to go to, uh, Florida, just like get away for a couple of days.

This is at like 10 a.m. I got on the train and then big cat texted us like an hour later when it was like, I have COVID. So we didn't even book anything. So it's not that bad. Um, I'd also like to point out that Billy, how many wristbands do you have on right now? How many, how many clubs have you been in that you haven't taken off?

Dude, I, I have the antibodies. I like, you will forget, I really think from a fight with COVID. Like fuck my life. You gave me COVID and now you fucking got your senior frogs fucking. Oh my God. Well, dude, I have the antibodies. He like, by the way, I, it killed my cardio and killed my weight. I literally dropped 10 pounds for the COVID.

It was crazy. Oh, good thing that the guy you fought against took a dive. He, okay. Can we just be real here? Mark it down. Mark it down. I said that I was going to say that Billy, I said that there's a fucking asterisk.

I said I was going to defend Billy's honor and say that he punched, knocked out Jose Gonzaco, uh, on Sunday. And it took me two days to be like, you know what, fuck you, Billy. He took a dive. No, dude, he didn't take it. I mean, he didn't. You beat him. The thing is he just did.

He, he thought that he could play, play around for, you know, are you doing the interview again? Are you doing Sunday night's interview again? I think you are. So why don't you tell us, what was your mindset like going into the fight? Yeah, honestly, I don't remember it. I fucking thought it was Sunday night. And you know, like you're just trying to avoid like watching it because it's

just like, oh, fuck, like I was good. It was really, people liked it. It was very, very funny. I know. I was just acting like a fool. Good news is you, you wouldn't have to report who's they can take. There's a close contact because you didn't spend enough time. Like it really sucks.

I fucking buckled my septum and training. I can't breathe out of my nose and I was hoping that I'd get beat up during the fight so I could like, like expense get my nose fixed. You should have said that. You should have just said that you got, you got your septum fucked up. All right. Let's do one more. Yeah.

One more thing about Bruce Arians. I don't know if you've noticed this big cat, but if you look at his Twitter timeline, the only thing that Bruce Arians has posted in like the last, I don't know, eight, nine months is just RIPs to different people. I think he's posted. I think there are like 30 people that have died that Bruce Arians. I don't know if they're like all of Bruce Arians, his friends are dying. If he's a serial killer, but if you scroll back, it's, it's kind of ridiculous.

Oh, yeah. It's a lot. You're right. You're right. When you get older shit, it's tough. Yeah. He's just using his Twitter to he's basically the obituary section, which I was my, does anyone have the, the, uh, Washington posts on their hot seat?

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Okay. Hot seat, cool throne, Hank. My hot seat is any of you fucking idiots that believe the story. Oh, you as in listeners, not that you guys are idiots. Uh, but anyone out there that believe the story of the kid who the streaker, there's a tweet going out that he bet $50,000 on the prop that there would be a streaker and he only had to pay $1,000 to bail himself out. So he made like a crazy profit by doing that, which is impossible because

there's no chance you could bet that much on such a crazy prop. Right. Right. First of all, they have a lot of profits. And then second of all, if that were in fact a case and you were the streaker, there's no way in hell you're making a code like Bleacher report best to be like, Hey, look at me. I just scanned this.

You're keeping your mouth shut. Yeah. And low for a long time. This is one of those stories that makes me confident in bar stool sports and pen and the bar stool sports book app because I see other companies buy this stuff. And I'm like, what are you, there's no way. They let, I mean, they limit everything. They limit all the props.

They view Gatorade. It'd be like saying I bet on a prop for, uh, who to someone to win. The royal rumble. Like you can't when, when things can be decided by humans outside of the actual sport, they limit them. Of course they do. So this is crazy. And it's a shame on anyone who bought that.

Right. Uh, also my other hot seat. I have a few today. No big deal. Uh, Diane Sawyer. Oh, yeah. First of all, what happened? I thought she was dead.

I thought it was like, I thought she was getting canceled post mostly, but we'll throw them away post mostly, whatever, post, whatever it is. But wait, post, post mostly, post mostly post mostly. Okay. I always get, uh, Diane Sawyer, Connie Chung and Barbara Walters. That's all just one, uh, like late nineties, uh, ABC, 60 minutes, 2020. Watching it after a football game wrapped into one. Yeah.

Toss, toss bet meddler in there too, because she kind of gives off that five. Yeah. But, uh, there's like, there's a new interview, a new documentary about Britney Spears and how she was like, basically like the media like fucked her up, uh, and Diane Sawyer was like one of the, the main perpetrators. So she was getting canceled, not post mostly in IRL mostly. Pretty mostly. What'd you say?

Oh my God. David Letterman too, right? The David Letterman ones bullshit. That's, that's just a, that's a, that's a separate, that's a Lindsay Lohan thing. They're TikTok is trying to cancel David Letterman for a Lindsay Lohan interview. But that's like, uh, they took a clip and if you watch the full interview, like the context is not really that bad. But if you watch just the TikTok, it's like, oh, it's fucked up, but it's really

not, but Diane Sawyer actually is fucked up. I did watch some of that and it's bizarre to me how much the media has changed since the late nineties. Like basically everybody was treating Britney Spears like they were her mom. They were like, are you sure you should be wearing that on television? It was like a relatively low cut shirt and she was like 19 years old. You're like, have you had sex yet? It's okay, Brittany.

You can tell me if you've had sex. It's like, like skin crawling stuff to be saying to like a kid that would never, ever, ever be said like now. So it's like crazy to say how much that's changed. And did you see the Justin Timberlake interview where they were asking about the breakup and then they asked Justin Timberlake about Janet Jackson's nipple and he was like, well, yeah, I mean, I do kind of feel bad, but also when you think about it, we still haven't found those weapons of mass

destruction in Iraq. So like the best, the best spin zone ever. It is crazy too, because the internet has like made culture just it weren't hyper speed. So when you say early 2000s, you're like, oh, that's not that. That doesn't feel that long ago, but it's really, really long ago in terms of like cultural norms and everything everyone was doing just because it feels like every month in the internet is basically a year.

Yeah. And when they were doing those interviews and Spears back in the day, I remember watching because I was like, I don't know, a few years younger than Britney Spears. But there's nothing that I wanted to see happen less than for Britney Spears to stop dressing up like a skank. That was like the most important part of my day would be to be like, oh, look at this cool picture of Britney Spears. Then she looked hot.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I got so bad. I was like, please, please don't scare her out of out of exploring and showing off her body. Right. Talks about Carson Daly after every year after school every day. Uh, and then my cool throne talk about celebrity's internet culture is, uh,

Kim Kardashian West, although isn't she not in Kardashian West anymore? They get, I think they can't, did they cancel their marriage? We should start saying that, by the way, just cancel for everything. Just you said this, it's called divorce. It's actually, yeah, they've canceled their marriage, but I their love. It's still her Twitter name and she posted a tweet today, really inspirational. It's her and Courtney on a yacht in bathing suits. And it says, somehow in this crazy life, we found each other.

Wait, Kim, Courtney and Kim, the sisters. Yes. Sisters. Somehow, somehow they found each other. So I'm just cool for her. I'm happy for them. When your mom and OJ Simpson love each other very much, that's, uh, that's Chloe.

I think they all are. I don't know. No, Chloe, Chloe's actually well, not confirmed. Hey, not confirmed at all. It's confirmed. That's a legend. Did you also see, uh, Kim Kardashian had the picture of her seven year old North? God, yeah, the drawing that looked like it was a fucking Monet.

And she's like, look at what, look at what my seven year old just whipped up in art school. Yeah, I bet you Kanye did it. I bet you Kanye did it already paid somebody to do it and then sent her home with and be like, look what, look what your daughter's capable of when she's around me, unlocking the best parts of her artistic mind. It must be so nice though, to be that like you have, I don't know, what does she have a hundred million Instagram followers?

You can just throw something up. You're never going to look at the mentions. So what does it matter? Just say that your, your kid did it. Are they going to keep the name, the last name West for the kid? Because North Kardashian doesn't really make, it doesn't slap as much as Northwest does. No, I think the kids, whatever you're born with is your last name.

Yeah, I don't think you've changed that in a cancellation of love. Right. PFT. My hot seat is math. Math is on the hot seat big time because they put out a statistical analysis of everything that happened when coaches went for two points or kicked an extra point this year. I love looking at these at the end of every season because they involve

doing the most simple form of math possible, I think, and they're always about the same. So it's 93% of extra points were made. That's down like 1% almost from last year and then 48% of two point conversions were completed. So you would think that it'd be pretty easy if you were a head coach to be like, well, what's more, 48% of two points or 93% of one point and then realize that they should go for two every single time, but they won't do it.

It's not going to happen. It's going to take like one coach who just never kicks an extra point. And especially if you have like a good, if you have a good offense, I'm sure that the number is above 50% on two point conversions. Now, because remember with this 48%, you're also taking into account, I don't know, like teams like the Houston tech, I guess their offense is pretty good, but you're taking into account like the jets. The jets are rolled into that 48% in hyperdrive.

So if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time. And I was actually just thinking about like, if you went back 30 years, or let's say you went back to like the sixties and they had the two point conversion option out there, do you think that there's any football coach that would ever say like, Hey, I think I'll take my football team off the field and send out my Eastern European kicker with one shoe to attempt something that's worth one point.

It's like the least football guy thing you can do ever to kick an extra point instead of going for two and just like running the ball up the middle. But it's because like it's been that way for so long that now it's, now it's the conservative thing to do to send your like little pansy kicker out there to kick an extra point. Right. It's actually the least football guy thing to do to go for two because that's a nerd thing.

Yeah. It's totally flipped. Right. Yeah. No, I agree with you. That's, that's interesting to think about. Like if they were, if the rules were just, if they had introduced a kick after, like if they had just started the first 20 years of football, it was two point

conversions or nothing. And then all of a sudden they started doing kicks. No one would kick ever. It would be, it would be a forgotten rule. Let's just say like they introduced the extra point kick after the World Cup was in America and they're like, we've got soccer fever. Let's keep this going because people love seeing kicking. Coaches will not have a kicker on the roster.

They'd be like, fuck you. Actually, we might have, we might have fucked up because I wouldn't be shocked if the extra point didn't exist first. It probably didn't. Right. I don't know. Because well, because back in the day, it was worth more to kick a field goal than it was to score a touchdown.

Huh. Okay. We'll have to look into the, I'll look into it when we do, when we do Brooks interview or Jake, you look into it. Look into it right now. 1958 was when the, when the kick was implemented. Beginning of 1958, the scrimmage play conversion method of scoring became worth two points, a two point conversion.

That was two points. Ah, that's what happened. Okay. Okay. That makes sense. So it was always like you would go for a two point conversion, but it was one point and then they finally made it two and got, and people still weren't like, Hey, maybe we should start doing this.

Yeah. How many points would they, how many points would they have had to make it for, for a coach like four and be like, Oh, actually, this is a good idea. No, probably, probably, I think it'd have to be like five and a half. Yeah. So, so ridiculous. So backwards. Uh, was that, you have a cool throne?

Yeah. My cool throne is, uh, actually, no, I was going to do, I was going to put, uh, beautiful boaters on the cool throne to the boat parade, which I'm very excited about. Although, you know what sucks about this though, how are they going to be able to toss beers to Rob Gronkowski, the shotgun from the, from the land, from the land. Do they have a big enough farm? Yeah. Yeah.

The, the, um, if it's anything like the lightning boat parade, it's, they like go down like a little canal and people can throw shit at him. Wait, wait. Billy, you're not going to the boat parade. It's like, I can be your correspondent to this giant party. Yeah. Tomorrow, you, Billy, you're not even close to Tampa right now. I don't care.

I'll drive. No, you won't. You couldn't even get on a plane today. Yeah. I might actually end up driving home. It's like, I can't deal with planes and organizing stuff. Yeah. Wow.

That's so stressful. Your life is so crazy. Uh, all right. My hot seat is, uh, Oh, the Washington post. So Marty shot in Heimer, all-time football guy, RIP passed away today. He had been sick. It was really sad. I watched a video.

They did a like Tom and Aldi piece a few years ago. He has all, he had Alzheimer's, really, really sad. A legendary coach, seventh in all-time wins, 200 wins, turned around four different franchises, you know what I mean? He made, he took the Browns, the two AFC championship games. Think about that. He, he took the, you know, chargers to, you know, 14 and two season. Like he, he was a, you know, the chiefs in the nineties, all these things.

Great coach. Washington post decided, uh, to do a headline for his obituary. Marty shot in Heimer, NFL coach, whose teams wilted in the post-season dies at 77. So, uh, that was, I do really believe that the headline writer lost the bet. Like one of those teams that Marty shot in Heimer had like 13 and three Joe Montana, like he lost the bet and he's been waiting for Marty shot and Heimer to pass away to then throw that out there. Cause that feels like a hell of a fury, like a scorn gambler.

That's what that feels like to me. It does feel like a grudge headline. If you, cause if you're just a football fan, that's not even the first thing I think about with Marty shot in Heimer at all. Like I would net, like the top three things that would come to my mind would not involve him choking away things in the playoffs because he had some, he had some like shitty kickers that, that messed things up for him at times. Like Marty ball, he wasn't Marty ball.

Marty ball is fun, man. In a, if you, if you choose to embrace, uh, establishing the run, Marty shot Heimer, Marty shot and Heimer invented running the football as far as I'm concerned. So yeah, it is fucked up. It could be Dan Snyder probably paid somebody at the Washington Post to write that headline. Dan Snyder is probably the only person in America that's, that's bitter at Marty

shot and Heimer because they had a grudge after Marty. I think Marty claimed Deon Sanders or somebody off waivers at his next job and wouldn't let, uh, Dan Snyder pick them off. So I think that they've got like a longstanding beef, but if you find yourself on the same side as Dan Snyder in any argument, you're already fucked up. I'd like to polish my, uh, fact earlier, college football was 1958. The NFL adopted the two point conversion in 94. What?

Right. The, the, yeah, the two point conversion came much, much later. Oh, I mean, I guess we're nine years old. I guess I don't even remember that. Yeah. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying. Like coaches are like, Oh, this is one of those newfangled.

Like if they, if they, if it happened today, coach would be like, Oh, it's this new TikTok rule, you know, it's one of these internet rules that they tell you to do when you get an AOL CD delivered to your mailbox. They probably saw it as like an advancement in technology. So they were like, no, thank you, not going to do that. You know what I just did? I did what we do to younger kids who assume that the yellow line is always existed that doesn't, that isn't the first timeline.

I just did that. Like there's people who've watched football their whole life. They're like, whoa, like you, you, you actually don't remember when it was a two-point conversion. I, I've had that conversation with people who don't remember when the yellow line was introduced because I remember it so vividly and being like, Oh my God, everything has changed. Do you remember when they reintroduced instant replay?

Yeah. Yes. That was loud. So like the instant replay was one of those things that I think they started for the first time, like a long, long time ago, but the camera that they were shooting on it with, like if it's the worst camera that you could, it was useless. You couldn't rewind it. You couldn't see shit on it.

So back in like, I don't know, the seventies or eighties or whenever it was, they're like, we're going to push pause on that until our cameras get better. And I think, I think mid nineties, I think it was right around the same time as two-point conversion. Yes. The last thing I had with Marty Schoenheimer, I just forgot that the absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the nineties when it comes to the script hat and the starter jacket.

That is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever. Like they're just, when you see those pictures of Marty Schoenheimer on the chief's headline, sideline and the huge fucking jumbo headsets, the coolest you could ever look. I miss those days. I wish guys would wear starter jackets again. I would add in the buddy Ryan look when he had the real thick glasses. When you get a coach that's got like these glasses that are five inches thick.

Wonder how he sees the room combined out with a giant hat, huge headphones. It's like that look for me in football and then the like Will Wade type sweating through your undershirt look for a college basketball coach. That's why I'm pretty sure buddy Ryan had the starter jacket look too. So we had like a crowd. Oh, he had like the maybe not the puffy starter jacket that I'm thinking of, but the precursor to that starter jacket that also is fucked. It might have been the pro player jacket.

My cool throne is Joe Pesci. Trending on Twitter. I don't really know. Was he trending for, why was he trending on Twitter? His house was trending because it was house. Okay. So it was his house. I thought it was something else.

His house. I looked at those pictures. Joe Pesci Pesci's, uh, shore house that he bought in 1994 and has never updated makes him the coolest person in the world. He already was pretty fucking cool, but the fact that like it's a time capsule to Joe Pesci in the nineties is so fucking badass and I love Joe Pesci for it. And buying that house like that house should go for $10 million over ask just because of, and I hope the person who buys it doesn't touch a goddamn thing.

Just make it a Joe Pesci museum. Yes, it's awesome. I love it because his entire house is a man cave that like the biggest Joe Pesci fan would want. So like, who's the richest Joe Pesci fan in the world? Because that's the guy that needs to buy the house. Like I feel like Bon Jovi is probably a huge Joe Pesci fan. Glennie Balls, we should do a go fund me and all the money should go to

Glennie Balls to be able to purchase this home and live in it and just make content out of the house. I guarantee you, if you gave Glennie Balls this house, he would find something new and cool that would make him giggle every day for like 25 years and pay for himself. Agreed, agreed. Absolutely has to happen. Um, Billy, I'm scared to even ask you if you have a hot seat cool throne.

Yeah. Did you just see what Jose tweeted? Okay. So the answer is you don't, uh, what did he tweet? He treats them really fucking weird. Oh, no way. Jose can say, go. Yeah, he tweeted, wait for it, wait for it.

Let's find out what really happened here. Did anyone ever see me get hit in the face at all? Wait for the truth. It's coming to a theater near you. Oh fuck. Did you, I mean, I don't have to take a dive. Yeah, no, I did not pay him to take a dive, but it's like, it's just so fucking annoying. Now it's sort of sinking in what the fuck just happened.

What do you mean? What was going through your mind on the night of the fight, Billy? Dude, I was, I was in wartime, bro. Like, yeah, I, I legitimately just like, like got the point in my head where I just like felt no fear. And I was just, my fight plan was to throw a hundred and 40 punches around. Like when you have a three one minute rounds, like, you know, uh, yeah, cardio is not a deal, but if you came out and like sprint fighting, it's different

than, you know, fighting for multiple rounds. Like boxing is like a marathon, right? But like, we were doing it, it's a sprint. So I trained to sprint fight, which is just tucking your chin and throwing as many punches as you can. And do you think like for real though, that he had any idea that you were going to do that to him? I think he, this is what I think happened, right?

From my point of view, I stepped in the ring to fight. I came in, I literally, once I got hit by him and realized like, he doesn't have this crazy power he was talking about. I went and threw my one twos down the pipe, got wrapped up with him. And like I worked on in camp, if he was going to try to wrestle me, I was going to bounce out and hit him with the hooks on the inside real quick. And then he just, once he realized that I was going to be able to dismantle him, he went down and then I'm getting, I got angry because I was so wound up.

And I was like, is this guy going to fucking wait, did I just cut out? They just cut out. Yeah. Oh, all right. Let's do that again. Billy, three, two, one. So Billy, what did it feel like when you were going up against Jose that night? Guys, did you actually just answer those two questions?

I was interested into what he was saying right there. Because you got to go off street. He was laughing so hard. The thing is, I actually, I'm going to be like, I didn't think he knew I was like an athlete at all. And when I was taller than him before the fight, I saw him. He was low key. Like he was trying to talk trash to me the night before the fight.

And I was like, did he come up, did he come up to you? Yeah. He came up to me and I was just like, I was like, I just was cool. Calm and collected because I like, I was shitting myself like two weeks before the fucking fight. Like, but I had to like, you didn't have anxiety attacks. I do, you know, I did, bro. I would know that.

Yeah. Like, how many times do you think like in the next month, we can do this with Billy? Just get him to retell the fight. No, no, seriously, seriously, Billy. Yeah. Like when you saw him, when you saw him at the weigh in, weren't you a little intimidated though, because he's tall. He's taller than he's like a big dude.

No, I'm taller than him. That's what people realize. I had reach on him. I was like, I'm going to fuck this guy up. Like I, because the guys I've been fighting and sparring, trying going up to the camp, like, like I legitimately the first week of my sparring, like guys were teeing off on me because one, they were pissed at this kid who like never bought box before got a shot at that money and they like thought I was a huge pussy.

So I was getting my ass beat for a fucking month leading up to this fight. And that's when I knew like he wasn't going to be able like what, like, you know, when you get the confidence, like, yeah, I wasn't a good boxer, but I could fucking get hit in the face and throw punches. I was ready to go into the fucking fight. But, but no, like I actually, this is a totally real question because I feel like everyone going into the fight was like once Jose will just fucking one punch, knock him out.

Yeah. And did he not, did he not have power? Everyone was talking about this punch power. When he hit me with his jab right, it was a punch, but like, you know, I'd taken a tons of punches going like up to the fight. It was like, once he punched me, I realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man. I fucked him when I have to, and that's what it was.

Knocked his ass out. Billy, did you, but from like a, it just sucks to quit because that's, he didn't give me, he literally, what happened was he didn't take a dive. He just didn't give me. Quit. No, he's a, yeah, quit. But like from a mindset mentality, like where was it? Were you, did you get to berserker mode?

Yeah, I did. I fucking did. It's, it was, it was crazy. Like I was just locked in and you know, like it was, the whole things been so crazy. It's just like, you know, what's your hot seat? My hot seats coded because big cats going to kick his ass. Oh, that's really fucked up to say after you gave it to me.

Oh wait, no, you said big. I'm going to kick it. I have COVID brain. I reversed it on myself. Yeah. I have COVID brain. Sorry. We can't just anytime you fuck up to say that you have long COVID.

No, I, I did. You got COVID that got sass kicked. I spelled the first time when I was like, I didn't have any symptoms on Sunday. I mean, I just felt like run down. But when I, I had a tweet that I spelled note as not twice in a tweet. And someone was like, dude, how'd you spell that wrong twice? And I was like, wait, what? So that guy's pretty much a doctor.

That's all I got from that. Um, Billy, anything else on the phone? Um, dude, he literally saw that my team, my team's T was just too fucking high to get wasted with it. Yeah. Well, also he's not, he's not like low key. He's not as tall as I thought he was. Dude, I have the best friends and family in the world.

And I couldn't have done it without them. Like, you know, the love I welcome that some dude sent me, some dude sent me a custom country album playlist. Like, dude, I made this playlist for you. I think it'd be awesome. Holy shit. I'm physical playlist. Like the love, like the love I've been seeing, I just love everybody who

chose the deep love CD. It was, no, it was a Spotify place, but it's just, oh, fuck dude, that's deep love. I know, but bro, like, like, you know, everyone was ready to go to war with me. And it's insane. You know, it's just, where do you go from here, Billy? Uh, dude, I miss, what's next? I miss my fucking dog.

I miss my spot right in the war zone. Yeah. And, you know, it's just crazy. What are you going to buy with the $50,000, Billy? Bro, I almost dropped a bag. Me and, me and new heart after you gave me COVID. Dude, you're new lungs, new lungs. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's just, it's just crazy. And I thank you guys so much. This one, you didn't answer the question. What are you going to buy? Bro, I tried to get the Cobra, but they're illegal in New York. No. Bro, like, yo, can you ship it to New York in there?

I was killing raccoons. That didn't stop you. Yeah. So is passing COVID killing bats, killing bats. Sorry. Don't say that. It's legitimately a crime to kill bats. Oh, sorry.

That allegedly. Um, it's just crazy. All right. Let's get to our interview with Brooks. PFT. You got a somewhat whoop, right? Yeah. So I'm rocking my whoop right now.

We're all training actually. I'm on team bulk right now. So I'm putting on, I'm putting on some, uh, clean weight. No, I'm Captain. I forgot. You got any tips? Yeah, fucking. Have you been creatine loading?

I have been taking creatine. I've just been eating clean. I just eat clean. I'm a clean guy. Clean, you dirty bulk. We're dirty bulking for this. I dirty bulked last week. Now I'm cycling into clean.

No, you dirty bulk is still. Okay. Uh, so my doctor, my dietitian Billy has told me that my diet's over. Thank you, Billy. Uh, two days sucked, but I'm back. I'm bulking up now and, uh, everyone's out there recovering from exciting weekend. You need to get the 24 seven fitness tracker that helps you recover smarter after whatever you take on in life.

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It was green when it's green on the screen. I wake up. I feel like I can do anything. I'm going to hit a workout right after this is over. We get big. I'm going to be jacked up. I'm going to be looking like a, like a beast comes summertime in the swimsuit. Get my summer bod ready to go with whoop.

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Use the promo code, take it, check out. Go to whop.com and a promo code, take it, check out, save 15%. And now Rook skip. Yeah. Okay. We now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world. Future Blake of the year, hopefully, uh, just coming off waste management. What?

I root for all the blinks. I want all the blinks to do well. Just coming off waste management championship, won a trophy back in the uh, winner's circle, even though that doesn't exist in golf. It is Brooks Kepka, our guy, uh, Brooks. How are you feeling? Let's do that. Let's do a shitty journalist question.

How do you feel it? I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday morning when I woke up. I can promise you that yesterday was a bit of a struggle. Um, fought through it though. And uh, back, you know, that's what winners do. Just keep, just keep plugging along. Yeah. Yeah.

How does the body feel? That's, that's another good one to ask is, is just like physically from a physical standpoint. I saw, you know, the last time we saw you, uh, I guess this was at the US open. You were getting your knee tugged out of place. Um, are you feeling all right? Everything back in, back in a position. Yeah.

Yeah. Everything's back. It's all good. It's, uh, it'll be all right. I'm surviving. Well, so I actually wanted to talk about that because I know that, you know, um, you're a very cool guy and, uh, you make golf look easy, but I did read the quotes that there was some dark days in, in, uh, 2020 because your knee wasn't really, uh,

responding the way you, you needed it to, and it felt like it was a longer journey than you, you expected. Um, was there ever a point where you're like, I'm, I may never be back. Like I, this might not work out. Like I'm not going to be Brooks Kepka anymore. Yeah. I thought maybe the only shot of winning anything was Blake of the year for the rest of my career, which I mean, it's not a bad thing.

It's not a knock on Blake of the year, but I thought that that was, that was my best chance to go forward. But no, it was, um, it was a pain to butt. I literally just, every day it was just stiff. I couldn't do anything waking up, you know, trying to walk around was difficult enough. And then you start getting in the weight room and it just, it feels like my knee was going to go sideways.

Um, it's just not a fun feeling. Oh, you know what, what's a great story. Maybe we can tell here is, uh, you know, a lot of the haters out there, a lot of the knock against, against Blake from people that don't know what they're talking about, they would be like, Oh, uh, Brooks doesn't love golf like we do, or he doesn't love golf like everybody else should love golf. Did this injury give you a new found love for the game of golf? Uh, yeah, I mean, I always, it's always one of those things.

It's a lot of hate relationship though, but you know, it's not my job at the end of the day. I mean, yeah, you love your job. Um, I like doing it, but at the same time, it can be very repetitive. Um, you know, just doing it day in, day out, and especially when you're uh, sucking at it. Yeah. So did it, you know, you're a guy who, I mean, you're my fan favorite.

I think there's a lot of people who root for you because you're a refreshing, uh, honest guy. When it comes to like interviews and media, was there a moment though? Because it felt like there were some guys that took their shots at you when you were down, knowing that you were down. Did you feel, did you like read those? And you're like, all right, come on. I'm going to be back eventually.

Like this is eventually I'm going to come back. I'm going to be, fuck you, brooks, kept good tour. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I saw, I saw a few of them. It's fine. Hey, listen, I've, I've been known to take my shots. They can take their shots too.

It's cool. Um, I can live with them big boy. I love that. That makes you better than everyone else. Just so you know. Yeah. Well, listen, at the end of the day, I, I mean, I'm a sportsman too. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at the TV because the

bronze aims to miss the shot or somebody else has done something. And I mean, it's part of sports, man. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Um, so I saw that you won, I think it was a $1.3 million check. That's pretty cool. Did you think about asking it for like the check in Bitcoin or Dogecoin or

something like that? Uh, I would have, I should have actually, that would have been great. Man, I could have turned that real quick into some good money. I think if you just say the word Dogecoin, then it's going to jump up at least like five cents a share. Yeah. That's, that's kind of how it works. I know my brother was, uh, my brother was on one about two weeks ago.

I mean, he was just sitting there watching it. I'm like, dude, it's like midnight. Relax. If I could see it open yet, like it'd be all right. Dogecoin never sleeps. Dogecoin never sleeps. Does that get as like, you've won obviously big tournaments before you've won majors, but I'd have to imagine like when you're walking off of 18 and you're like, wait,

1.3 million in a four days work, uh, you know, that's pretty damn good. Like, does that ever get older? Is that still just the coolest feeling in the world? It is a really cool feeling. I'm not going to lie. Uh, just trying to think of what I can, I mean, it was like, Jose, he got paid like what? 150 K per second.

We're taking a dive. And by the way, he owes you guys what? Two grand of the barstool fund for taking that dive. Are you always a thousand? I highly doubt he's going to pay it. Yeah. I don't think so. Kid.

I love how he put the box. Oh yeah. He kept, he totally bought the PFT and I were different ages. Like, you know, I was a decade older is like, you know, the adults are talking here. Jose is not exactly a smart guy. It's funny to bring that up though, because everyone loved our interview with Billy football on Monday, uh, after his win on Friday night. He was very drunk when we interviewed him on Sunday night.

Um, we actually talked to you on FaceTime on Sunday night. I think you were just as drunk as Billy football. I, uh, I was enjoying myself. I was having a good time. I think I was trying to record that 1.3 million on, on Vickalov Ultra. And, uh, we should have recorded it because we could have had you, we could have done the same thing, the three, two, one. All right, Brooks.

Here we go. And just kept on asking you the same questions. Yeah. Oh yeah. You could ask me the same question. I'd ask, I answered it differently every time. Yeah. You know what, you know what I love about, uh, like guys like you and just most athletes

in general, I've started to realize that when they accomplish something, when they win a big championship or when they, when they do something they didn't think that they could do before, their big celebration is just like, like ours, they just want to go out and drink like 20 beers. It's great. It's kind of refreshing to see that. So like you go to the bar, you just want a tournament and at the end of the day, you're still like, Hey, just let me get seven pitchers and I'll be happy.

Yeah. I'm being sad. Just like everybody else. That's what people forget. Just cause you see me on TV and you see me doing this stuff. I'm just, I drink, make a little ball to the same way you drink. Yeah. Bloggers too.

It's crazy. People come up to us and bars is like, we thought you'd be, you know, like drinking the martinis that they make with gold dust in them. And it's like, nope, just load me up with Coors Light. I'm a happy boy. Oh, yeah. Hey, just, I'm just looking to get drunk. That's it.

Yeah. All right, Brooks, I don't want to get you in any trouble, but we also, you know us. We're not huge golf nerds. We love watching you. We love watching majors. Explain to us if you were, let's take Patrick Reed's side. Let's do that. So it won't get you in trouble.

Explain to us. Yeah. Explain to us what everything he did correctly when he, when the ball snafu happened last week, everything he did correctly. He called a rules official. So that was correct. He marked the volunteer.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Mark the ball. He, uh, he asked the question if it was plugged. So that was good. Um, and then, uh, then he, then he, uh, then he followed what the rules official said when he said it was embedded.

That was, that was the only thing that he did correctly. I don't know the drop. Did he execute the drop correctly? Like he dropped it from the right place. Yeah. Actually, yeah, he did do that. He dropped it correctly. Yeah.

He dropped it from the knee height. So that was good. Okay. Um, well, I mean, a lot of golfers, I think you're kind of alluding to this too. You're saying that you can't embed a ball off of a second bounce. Aren't you just kind of telling on yourself for not hitting shots hard enough that they, that they stick into the ground of that bounce? What amazes me is that I don't think anybody knows this, but like where he hit

it was like the highest point in the whole golf course. It was like, it was like everything runs away from that. And that's like the highest point at Tory Pines. Um, yeah, I don't know. He's incredible. Yeah. Well, you're basically saying is Patrick Reed is incredible and I agree. He's incredible.

He's an incredible golfer. I hope you're okay with us. He's probably our number two. It's you and then him just because he's such a bad boy. Yeah, I like Patrick, but, uh, I mean, yeah. With the, the whole sandcastle thing that happened, you know, he's playing in the sand, uh, but it's, uh, at hero. And then, um, and then this one, yeah, not the, not the best of the looks, I guess.

No, I'd agree. I'd agree. That's, that's a fair way to put it. So how, like when the shit like that happens, do you guys talk in the club outs or like, can you believe this guy didn't do this? Or like, are you, are guys genuinely upset when the rules aren't followed? Like to a tee out on the golf course. Yeah.

So I guess this is what got me thinking that I was talking to, I think Rory about it later on, or last week, um, before it's like, okay, that's great. When the cameras are on, but when the cameras are off us on a Sunday, when you're in like 30th position, like what really happens. Yeah. Good point. Yeah. Because that's, that's a lot of money on the line, like 30, 30th and 40th.

Like that's actually a really good point. But like what happens to the guy where, I mean, later down the year and, you know, the last tournament of the year, the guy that finishes 126, that he, you know, it's one of those things that someone cheated him out of something. You never, I mean, you never know. It's a bunch of what ifs, but you feel bad if that was to happen to the guy. That's a good point though. And that's a, it's a fair thing to say.

Like that's where, where it really hurts that people don't really think about it. And that's where it's like everyone needs to, to be on the up and up. Yeah. I mean, the golf, I mean, I think you could do it if you really wanted to. Um, but I don't know. I just couldn't, I couldn't do it. I couldn't move it myself. And there's no chance like you can't monitor everybody all the time in that

sport. There's just too much going on unless every player had like bodycams and then it got to be reviewed, uh, like at the end of every single round. Like there's no chance that you can just make sure that everyone's cheat or everyone's not cheating at any given time. Has there ever been any talk, not about this Patrick Reed guy in particular, but, um, about any golfer. Have you ever heard somebody be like, yo, let's wait for this guy in the

parking lot and beat him up because I caught him cheating. No, I don't think there's definitely been, uh, rumors that go around about different guys. Um, but I don't think there's no, no fights. We would wait for the rough and rowdy for that. Yeah. We just go with. Yes.

Uh, all right. Another dumb question for you on 17, when you, uh, hold out that eagle, uh, were you actually, are you actually aiming at the hole there? Or is it like, I'm just trying to get it somewhere close and then hopefully it works out. No, that was just dumb luck that it went in. That was just real good shot. And everyone's like, Oh my God, but I don't know how those work.

I assume you're just trying to put it to a place that will give you a great pot and then it ends up going in. It's like, fuck, that was awesome. So if you really want me to be honest about it, there's three sprinkler heads that were right my way when I went up to the green to go look at it. I was like, Oh, if I land these right online with the sprinkler heads, I was like, that's where I want to land it. I'll have myself like a six, eight footer if I had a good shot,

because they're right there. I had to go a little bit further right. And then the ball, I mean, it kind of took a weird little hop. And I mean, I'll be honest to you, I just, I, it shouldn't have gone. That's just stupid luck, man. That makes it so much better. That makes it so, that makes, that's like sums up golf too. When we see the greatest shots and in reality it's like, I probably actually

mis-hit that a little bit, but it ended up going in. Yeah. I mean, that's just, that's golf. Yeah. Half the time a guy hits a bad shot and it goes close to the hole. It's like, I wouldn't really aim in there, but all right, it is what it is. My theory about you is that you just play better when there's fans involved, when it's like a little bit rowdy you're out there.

And in Scott, is it Scottsdale to waste management open? Like there's, that's like the drunkest crowd in golf besides maybe sometimes like the Ryder Cup when it's in Long Island, but I feel like you rise to the occasion when you've got a bunch of guys hooting and hollering at you. Oh, it's the best. Dude, that's the best atmosphere in golf when there's a lot of drunk people just screaming whatever at you. That's 16th hole when they have those fans down on the side and they're just

finding all this dirt on you and you're screaming it. You learn a lot about the other guys you're playing with real quick. What was the, what was the nastiest thing that you heard yelled at somebody this weekend? Oh, what was the nastiest thing? See, I don't think it's tough because there's only 5,000 people and they were, and I felt like nobody was drunk enough on Saturday. I just feel like everybody was just prepping for the Super Bowl.

That was kind of, you're doing a good job of protecting your guys. You don't want to tell details out of school. I heard a couple of good ones, but nothing, nothing too bad. What's the next, what's the next tournament? Is it next weekend? Is it already like you have to play on Thursday? No, there's one this week, but I figured I'd take it off after celebrating so hard. I figured I just need a week to recover.

Yes. That's fair. So then, and then, I don't know, do you want to predict like, are you going to win any of these majors this year? I would be cool if you'd win a major so that we can start dunking on people again. Yeah, yeah, I got to get back in that circle. Yeah, I think it's a good chance. I like, yeah, I feel good.

So yeah, I'll be ready. Don't worry. Where's the US Open this year? Yeah. Where, where's the US Open this year? US Open is here in San Diego and Tory Pines. So this is the same one I played the week before last, before I missed the cup, but that's fine.

Okay, yeah, whatever. Yeah, it's, it's, it's good to go to that. Can we get like, can we get special passes where we can be inside the ropes? Just following you. Like, I wonder if you could get. Yeah, they do like this honorary observer thing where you get really people to go in the ropes. Yes, yes.

What if you had us or like, maybe like it's an emotional support bloggers and we just follow you around as like extended caddies and we're just there to hang out. See, I don't have a swing coach right now and I don't have a mental coach. So if you have to, you can be the mental coach. Yeah. I mean,

know how to break it out in people. Yeah. And everyone knows my swing is incredible. So, uh, I got you exactly. I love that. Yeah, we can do that really easily. Serious question. How, how much worse do you think you would play in around if me and big cat

were actually your caddies? Oh, oh, this would be real bad. I know I'd be only there for two days. So it probably saved me a little bit of dough. I wouldn't have to, I wouldn't have to get a hotel for like a week to get it for like four days. Well, seriously. So let's say, let's put you into like a specific situation.

It's, it's Sunday at Augusta. So you've already played the course three times. It's a 65 degrees out, very little wind, greens are a little bit soft. Pin placement is medium hard, but your caddy sprains his ankle, can't go me and big cat are on the bag for you. What do you shoot on Sunday? Well, that's, that's a major. It's different.

I'm only, I'm good at those. So yeah, yeah. And so are we. I mean, we still win. We still win. It doesn't matter. We win. That's what we did.

Hell yeah, we win. We do. This interview with Brooks is brought to you by NASCAR, the Daytona 500. Vroom, vroom. Racing is officially backed with the NASCAR Daytona 500. This Sunday at two 30 PM Eastern on Fox, watch the world's best racers battle to be crowned a Daytona 500 champion. Smells like Denny Hamlin's year.

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in the pack at plus 1100. I might throw down some duckets on that little Denny Hamlin versus Logano head to head matchup. But yeah, you can check it out on the Barstool Sports app. Daytona 500 this weekend, Sunday at 2 30 p.m. Let's go racing. Now more Brooks Kepke. Um, you mentioned just now, so you did split with your, your swing coach. It, how does that work?

Like, is that, I, whenever I read that, I'm like, ooh, what happened? But I assume that just happens routinely throughout golf. Like guys who go through swing coaches because at some point you just need something different, right? Yeah. Yes. At some point you just like, all right, look, I had a great run with him. It was fun.

Um, he's a good dude. I like him still. He's, I still talk to him. He texted me after, after the wind, but it's just one of those things where, hey, maybe I'll, you know, you want to try to get a little bit better. Um, you know, fine tune a couple of things. And, um, I've just been talking to his dad a little bit about my swing and another guy, um, who I've used based on my whole career.

Cause I feel like from the outside looking in, it's always, whenever I read one of those stories, I'm like, Oh shit, like that's bad. But then I realized almost every golfer, I think every golfer at some point has switched their swing, swing coach, because at some point you need to just change things up. So it's probably a no hard feelings both ways. Right. Yeah.

It's, yeah, it's pretty much that. Um, you know, usually you go through, let's say my whole career, usually there's probably two or three caddies, a couple of swing coaches. Uh, just kind of depends whatever you want to do. Yeah. Did you say, did you say that you replaced your swing coach with your swing coach's dad? Yeah, no, I didn't replace him with that.

I don't have anybody, but I've always bounced ideas off his dad, but Charmin, I've always bounced ideas off him and another guy in England. So it's like a fucked up porn. Yeah. What's swingers? What's going on, Brooks? Have you ever thought about like having two swing coaches at once? Yeah, big cat and PFT.

That's it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do it. We'll do it. Absolutely. Absolutely. When you get those big checks after tournaments, what do you do with the checks?

Do you have like a garage that just filled with them? No, but I should, I should just put them in my trunk or put it in the car. Like happy Gilmore. That'd be actually bad. I had to just drive around with a whole bunch of big ass checks. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

You know, it's a really funny story about that. So I won that same event in 2015. And I remember I was moving out of my old house and moving into the one I'm in now and I was like, I don't know where that trophy is. I have no idea. So I called my agent and we had to track it down. It had been lost for like three and a half years and it was in some warehouse. Didn't even know I didn't have it until we were moving.

I was like, where's the trophy? No, I know. That's perfect though. That's fucking perfect. I was like, hey, check went through, right? Wait, did you win at the year? The Super Bowl was there? Yeah.

Yeah. That was, did you ever meet Jim Renner, who was the original people's golfer? I don't think he's, I don't know where he is right now, but he was on tour for a little bit and he came over to our Super Bowl house that year and was like, just putting back beers and this girl was like, Hey, what do you do? And he's like, I golf is, she's like, Oh, really? Like, yeah, kind of like professionally. And he's like, yeah, I got a tee time tomorrow, like 8am.

And it was like 11pm and our Super Bowl house. We're like, what are you doing right now? He didn't make the cut. So I said, yeah, I should have came over then. I don't know what I was doing. You were winning the tournament. So you were probably doing something better. Yes.

Yeah, I was doing all right. Yeah. But that's, I'm trying to think, I think I was definitely, I was definitely more drunk that year than I was in this one. Yeah. Damn, which was impressive. Yeah. Well, when has made you go out and just decide to party the hardest?

Oh, the first major when we were like, no, no, no, we're not going home. We're going to Vegas. I mean, I think I was actually standing up. I was thinking I was dancing while the plane was landing in Vegas. I think I was like, oh, it was bad. I remember we landed. It was like one, it was 130 and my agent and, uh, or whatever it was like, oh my God, it's 130 and I was like, it's only 130.

Oh, yes. Great. We got plenty of time. So like on a bender like that, after you celebrate a major, how do you decide when it's time to call it off? Is there just like, you have like a clock in your head or like, okay, we'll be here for two days and then we'll go back. Or do you just like keep going until it feels bad?

Uh, no, you just pushed through. You just got to push. I think I did. I think I was partying for like literally a week and a half. We did Vegas for like six or seven days, which was a lot. That's a lot. And then we kept the party going in LA and that was, and then I think in LA, I remember that summer it was, I don't know, it must have been 110 and I walked outside

and I literally just about faded and I was like, all right, it's time. We're done. I was like, all right, I can't do this anymore. I love it. Yeah, I would, my, I, you got to win a British open because those parties, like they're probably a little more subdued, but they're just like renting out your own, uh, English pub and just drinking for, you know, three days straight in it seemed pretty awesome.

That's also the best trophy to drink out of, right? Yes, it is the best one. Cause the ones that I've won are very, there's a lot of drinks you can put in those. Um, and it just gets all over you. But, uh, the Clare Chug, you can definitely drink a little bit better out of it. It's a way nicer. Yes. And then you've got a whole nother, what you got an eight hour plane flight in

the way black just to keep it going. Yes. True. It's true. The open championship this year. St. Something. Uh, St.

George's up right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. I got, I was, yeah, I was half a year. I was okay. Roy, Royal St. George, we need to, if you win, we need to just like rent out Scotland. You can just rent Scotland for the weekend.

I'm sure you're just going for the rager. Yes. No, it'd be great. Yeah. And then you got, you guys fly over. Yeah. We'll just rent it out for a week. Yes.

Um, all right. I have one last question. What, so we're now in 2021, you got to win. Um, Blake of the year is coming up in probably five months, four months. Yep. Uh, we're, depending on COVID, we're trying to get everyone together. How do you like your chances? If we are all together, all the blinks together in a competition,

I liked, I liked that a lot better because I'm telling you what, I answered that phone call on the first ring this year. I had it literally sitting on my chest. I was like, I was ready. And then I hear ring, boom, answer it. And I was like, there's no way, so no, so I'm ready to get together. Plus the amount of shit talking that's going to go on with Blake Griffin, portals, we got, I mean, they're in off season during that time pretty much.

So I'm still going. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, maybe Griffin might be in the NBA finals and Blake portals might be on a new team. So you don't know that. Yeah. That's true.

That is true. Yeah. How about this? I'm just getting one off week, whenever, whatever that week comes. Perfect. We'll do it for like a week after whatever the major is around there so that you can win that party. And then at the end of the party, we can do the Blake of the year.

Or we just do a walling party. You know what? Yeah, that's true. That would be great. A Blake of the year. Like who can just stay up the longest? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that works too.

That's perfect. That's perfect. All right. PFC, do you have any other questions? Oh, no, I was just, my last one was just going to ask you about, I've heard that you've noticed a larger South American or South African following like a contingency that is actively pulling for Brooks Kepka because I think that you might be South African.

Is that true? Yes. Actually, you're going to die laughing at this. So we're pulling into the course on Sunday and this guy was riding his bike and he was in the whole, you know, the whole get up. And it was this South African flag. And I'm like scrambling, trying to get my phone out to take a picture to send to you, PFC.

And I couldn't and I took the photo and I screwed it up because whoever was in our passenger seat, literally just their whole face blocked the guy and I was like, yeah, but I was like, that's a good omen going into a Sunday right there. Absolutely. Yeah. It's like the Washington state flag on college game day. We always need to, you need to see a South African flag to get you pumped up for a Sunday.

Now Brooks, did you, so I do think you were as drunk as Billy because you did tell us that story on Sunday night. Okay. Yeah. So I thought you were maybe telling it again for the listeners, but I think you didn't even realize you told us that story on Sunday night. I had no idea. No idea.

No idea. That's perfect. That's so perfect. You, you kept saying to me, like the picture is so bad. It is the worst picture I've ever taken. I feel like I have to see the picture now because you honestly said how bad this picture was maybe seven times. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I, yeah. Fuck. I didn't know I said that makes it even better to do it. Never apologized for a party after winning $1.3 million and the tournament. Come on. Sorry. That's what makes you, that's what makes you real.

Right. Exactly. All right. Well, Brooks, thank you. Hopefully we see you soon, man. And I appreciate you doing this. Yeah. Thanks guys.

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Save 20% off your first year at norton.com slash gamers. Use promo code PMT. That's 20% off Norton 360 for gamers at norton.com slash gamers promo code PMT. All right. Breaking moves. That's actually a J cow, not a Hank cow. Are there any animals that you can do an impression of? Rough, rough.

There we go. Parking news. We're, we're, it's later on at night and Darren Revelle has challenged PFT to rough and rowdy, $2 million that he is asking for. He needs $2 million guaranteed to get in the ring and have PFT kick his ass. Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Revelle. Like if you were to ask me name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Revelle.

I think everybody in the, I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Revelle's ass. So I don't know where he came with this idea from. I think he just saw Jose can say, go get a paycheck. He was like, you know what? I'd like to get my name trending on Twitter. So maybe I'll just talk about getting into the boxing ring. Here's the fact.

Darren Revelle wants $2 million, whatever the money's not important to me. In fact, I don't need, I don't need a single dollar. I will, I don't think you were getting a dollar. What do you mean? I think it was just too, I think he saw Jose can say go made over a million dollars. He's like, Oh, I'll do it for $2 million. Yeah, like you weren't going to get any money.

Well, no, I would, I would absolutely be getting some money in the way that this would be drawn up. Don't get me wrong, but I'm going to forfeit that. I'm going to say, I will kick his ass for free. I will kick his ass if he agrees to delete his Twitter account. I want to wipe him off the face of the internet. He would feel like I am, I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to Darren Revelle tweeting out a video in 4k of JFK getting

a skull blown off. I'm doing it for everybody that's ever been knocked onto their professor by Darren Revelle. I, I want him, I want his Twitter accounts and that's it. That's all that I need to beat him up. And I'm a million percent confident I can do it. He, okay, two things. One, he'll never do that ever.

You know that, right? Well, we need to make sure that there's a reason why he does not pull a Jose can say, go and take a dive because he'll never I sprained my, I sprained my nose, he would never put his Twitter account up for grabs. Well, listen, he's getting $2 million. Right. I need to have some collateral. His collateral is his Twitter account.

It's probably $2 million. He would, you know, he would value it at like $40 million. No, I want to, I want to wipe him off the face of the internet. I never want, I don't want my kids big cat. Your father, do you want your children growing up in a world where Darren Revelle is posting online? I don't know, but what I'm saying to you is what else? Like he, I'm telling you right now, he's not going to do this.

There's no chance in the world. He would put his Twitter account up for deletion and figured there will be a coward. And if he did, he would find some loophole that it would not. Like we'd all be unsatisfied. He's the king of loopholes. Remember that? Like my first, my first thought when I saw him say he would fight

for $2 million is that Darren Revelle would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight. Uh, he is pretty quick. I've seen that. Yeah. Not getting hit. And then, and then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever. People have called me much worse online.

I'm $2 million richer. Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's what he wants to do. He wants Darren Revelle at all times wants to just get over on people and find a loophole so he can be like, well, actually. So that's my first problem. My, my second is I don't, I do not think he would ever do the trick Twitter thing. So you got to think about what would be, I think you, I used to do it for free.

I don't want to negotiate against yourself, but kicking his ass. If we put in a clause that Darren Revelle can't run around, like a good faith clause with a, with the iron clad, like he has to stand there. And I don't know, maybe it's, he has to take a certain amount of punches or throw a certain amount of punches. You would kick the shit out of him. Be cat. It'll be awesome.

He's already agreed to the Twitter account thing. We don't need to negotiate anymore. He says, I will be so badly. I tweeted it that I wanted to, but you know that it's not. He's the king of loopholes PFT. We got to think, we got to think ahead of this. Cause you know how he is. I, but I don't want to negotiate against myself big cat.

Right, right now what you're doing is you're, you're taking away the possibility that maybe we will have a fight for Twitter. That is the best promotion that anybody could ever hope for. Can you imagine how many people would want to watch a fight knowing that Darren Revelle's Twitter account could be wiped off the face of the earth forever? Of course. If that were, if that were on the table, if he actually would do it, it would be the greatest thing ever.

I'm telling you, we got to think smarter than that. Okay. I said, I said, he said for $2 million, I will fight PFT comment. By the way, he came at me. I didn't come at him. I said, you get money. If you win Darren, if I win, you simply have to delete your Twitter account forever. And then he replied to that, I can't wait to crack those sunglasses off.

That's not saying that he, that he agrees to that deal, but he didn't say no. PFT, you can't, you can't fall into Revelle traps. You're falling into Revelle traps. We can, we can burn that bridge when we get there. Right now what you're doing is you're taking away the possibility that this could ever happen before it gets started. I want that, no, no, no, that's, that is my term. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not taking away the possibility.

I'm saying I'm okay with the possibility. I'm telling you realistically, he probably would never do it, but we need to actually have him write it down. It has to be written and notarized and all that shit because he is the king of loopholes. He's the king, he's the biggest weasel of all the weasels. Every tweet that he's ever tweeted in his entire life has been so that someone can try to correct him and then he can come over the top and, and re-correct them.

You know that, you know, that's, that's what he lives off of. So he is just setting little traps left and right to try to get us in these well actually, and that's not what I said. And actually why don't you read the words and all these things that we can't, we can't let him have that because that's all he wants to do. Okay. Two options. I'll give him two options.

He can pick one. First, you delete your Twitter account. If I beat you, Darren. Second, if I beat you, you have to renounce your Northwestern alumnus. You, you are no longer a graduate of Northwestern University. I'm down with that. You have to give me your degree. I take over your status as an alumni of Northwestern University.

You're not allowed to claim it. You're not allowed to cheer for him. You're not allowed to hold the little wind bar when they run out into the field. You're not allowed to tweet at greenie and get ignored by the king of the studs, Mike Greenberg, whenever they win a big game. I take over your degree. That's it. He has to sell everything too.

He has to sell all of his Northwestern paraphernalia gear, everything to the lowest bidder. And you said that you're going to knock my sunglasses off. Darren, guess what? I stepped into the ring. The sunglasses are coming off. That's it. That's it.

If this is what you're going to take him up on his challenge to you. Big Cat in tennis. He said that after 11, nothing. He challenged you to tennis after you beat him in basketball. I'll take him up on that. If this falls through. You'll be there. We go now.

Big Cat, you've, you've stared in the eyes of Darren in the midst of an athletic competition. What, what's going through his head right now? How much of a competitor is going through his head right this second? He's like, this is the greatest thing ever. I got these guys to talk about me. No, he's not listening because that's, but that's what's going through his head. He's still pumped.

I'm sending it to him. I also, I want to throw out there. So Jake, you have that tennis. I, I still have Darren has challenged me to a mile race and I, I, he said anywhere anytime. So PFT, if this fight actually happens, I will just challenge him to the mile race right before the fight. Yeah.

Or right after the whole right, right before he has to run a mile and then get in the ring and you just kick the shit out of him. I like that. Or after I knock him out as his body's unconscious on the mat, be like, go. Um, yeah, I, I just hate him and I know I, he's such a weasel. So I guess really we should end it this, this way. If he's serious about it, if he's actually serious about it, we, he should get in touch with Erica and Dave and they will start like the negotiations.

Like they, if he's actually serious about doing this, then let's talk because we can clearly, we've shown that we can do it. We've shown we can get it done. So let's fucking talk and stop tweeting about it. Let's start fucking doing it. My price is negligible. My price doesn't even count in the grand scheme of this. You have, you have basically a zero dollar commitment to me.

So Darren, it's all up to you. If you really want to make this happen, if you want to get your face beat on, on national television in front of Leslie and God and the whole world and bring it on, buddy, because I got, I got my brand right here and it's going to leave some impressions on your face, bitch. I think you should actually just do the rex spec just to beat him in fucking sunglasses, which should be hilarious. I think that's even worse.

That would be like way worse to get beat up by a guy who's wearing sunglasses. That's the ultimate joke. You should put on like a backwards hat in the ring too. I should, I should smoke while I do it. It's going to be a leather vest, jeans, cowboy boots. As casual as you can make it. Gally cap and a cigarette. I'll read the magazine.

Yeah. Dude, we need to be a fight. It wouldn't even be a fight. Jesus Christ. Uh, all right. Well, I hope it happens. I really do. Yeah.

I do too. I really do too. I'm just, I am petrified of the well actually Darren Ravel and how he exists. So I don't want to let him weasel out of any of this shit. And if it does happen, there better be a clause that he can't run because that was my, do you think my knee jerk reaction was correct? He wanted this fight and then sprint around and then be like, I don't care. I made two million bucks.

You guys do losers. I made two million bucks. Yeah. That's exactly what is it. He's Andy Kaufman without the comedy. He just like try to perfect everybody hate him and then get into a car and drive away. But yeah, perfect. Listen, Darren, you can do whatever you want to.

We got Mike Portnoy on the case. So Mike gets to work drawing up some ironclad legal framework on this buddy. Yeah. And he doesn't have a serious show anymore. So he's ready to go. Um, all right. Guys on chicks. Hank, are you ready to go?

Hey boys, especially big boy Billy. My boyfriend and I go to a super Catholic school and they made a rule that girls cannot go in guys dorms claiming that it's because of coronavirus, but really, because they hate sex having people. My boyfriend won't bend the rule because he doesn't want to get expelled. Do I break up with him or go an entire semester not having sex in beds? Please help. I think you got to just not have sex in beds.

You really need to explore the campus. Like college campuses are known for two things. One, having very friendly squirrels wherever you go. And two, a lot of different nooks and crannies that you can bone in. Mm hmm. Yeah. Library is like stacks. Every library has a stack that's just filled with people fucking all the time.

I don't even think that they use those parts, those weird parts of the libraries with like the soft cover green books that are all dusty. No one actually goes there. Just have sex. Yeah. I think, uh, yeah, you just, just make it a semester long treasure hunt. Of sex or find a guy who will fucking bed. And then that's technically not cheating, actually, because your boyfriend

refuses to do it in bed. So that's not on you. I think I'd steal another podcast material, but hey, um, girls, we're cheating in 2021. Uh, and this might be a movie plot. I'm sure someone will, will let us know after the fact, but let's just, let's just, let's just choose to believe. Hey, WFT slim cat and Hank, the tank, some background.

I'm a 37 year old woman with two kids this summer. I hooked up with an 18 year old from my work and it was the best sex I've had in my whole life. So good that I went back for seconds a week later. We fucked on the beach under the moonlight the first time and it was so magical. We've since grown apart, but since I felt a little weird about fucking someone that could be sitting in my kid, but I have these strong feelings for him.

And I've heard he has them for me too. What do you think I should do? Is that a plot to a movie? I think it's a plot to like a bunch of movies, probably, but it sounds more likely that this was just written by a real horned up 18 year old guy that has like a crush on his neighbor who's 37. Maybe he's like waved to once or twice. He's like, in my, in my most beautiful fantasy, we're making love under

the moonlight and on a beach. And then she's thinking about leaving her husband for me and ditching it all. So I think that's the way I'm going to go with it. Yeah. Yeah. This feels, uh, don't do it. We either side. I don't even know which side was, what side was this written from?

The, the, the milf. Yeah. Oh, no, it's, it's not a, uh, it's not a movie theater. This is Jerry Thornton blog. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Hello. So I was told by my boyfriend to text this number, recording a recurring argument we have. Every time my boyfriend goes to the bathroom, number one, he refuses to wipe. He's repeatedly told me that he gets it all out by just shaking it. But sometimes he walks away with a little dribble on his pants. Wipe? Do this? Or is he gross and should wipe?

Again, I'm not really sure who I'm texting, but he keeps telling me the boys will know what's up. Thanks. Tony Romo? Tony Romo? You're, yeah, Tony Romo, but also like what? This can't, this isn't real, right? I think she's talking about wiping your penis. Yeah.

And she wiped, she wiped your penis after you peed. Do you think there's someone out there who does it? Because I, I mean, there has to be, right? The odds are there's got to be someone who takes one single square and wipes the tip of their dick after they pee. Steven Trey. Steven Trey. Yeah, I would say like most baseball writers probably do. Ken Rosenthal.

That's what the handkerchief that he always has in his front pocket, the pocket square. That's just to dab the tip of his penis after he pees. All right. And last one. Hey, slim cat, cometer, honk, and Billy Mayweather. I recently noticed that my boyfriend still uses his ex-accounts for Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and basically every other service. He claims it's because he doesn't have to pay for them, which makes sense.

I've offered him my accounts though, and he denies. Should I be worried? No, guys don't like change. Yeah, we don't like change the whole process. Having to memorize another person's new passwords for everything, that would suck. So no, as long as you know what Netflix should do if they were smart, they would include like a little like encrypted messaging service within the app so you can like message the other people that use it.

So for all the people that like stay in touch with their exes, like drop them, drop an occasional nude as a thank you for being like, hey, I appreciate you letting me use your Netflix account the last three years. Here's a picture of my testicles. Yes, yes, I like that. Yeah, just let them, let them, let them do it. And also shout out this person who submitted calling him Billy Mayweather. I love that.

I love that. He is Billy with Mayweather. Yeah, but a bunch of pay-per-view buys for a fight that doesn't live up to the hype. Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Billy knocked him out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll knock you out if you want to fuck him out. All right, let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. If you want to fuck him off in a rowdy, I'll fuck you up, dude. At least, at least, you know, I won my fight there. Yeah. Billy won his fight. Billy won his fight. Billy, did it feel like you knocked him out? Like, tell us how it felt.

Yeah, just, man, I'm going, guys. I gotta go. Billy, you won the fight. Yeah, you won the fight. He just laughed. He laughed. That also was so planned. That was such a plan.

I'm upset, but I'm really like, I would imagine. I want to go drink. Yeah, I would imagine some guy named Troy just fucking threw him a, a course light off, off camera. He's like, let's go, Billy. He got a Texas, his VIP table at Hooters is ready to go. So he's, he's on his way out the door. Billy is at the hotel where my high school prom was.

Fun fact. That is fun. Quick numbers. 1814. Oh, you, wait, Jake, do you have it? I have the history. Yeah. Oh, no.

All right. I got the random generator. Oh. Jake, can you look up a fun animal fact? Yeah. Eight, eight, eight, six, 14. Uh, okay. A snail can sleep for three years.

Random number generator. That is a fun fact. All right. Everyone's got it. Yep. Everyone's got their numbers. 99. 99.

99. No, that's wrong. That's my guess. That's my guess. Oh, okay. 90. Oh, 90 was the answer. September 29th.

That's the first time we had 90. There we go. All right. See you boys on. Oh, Dungeons and Dragons coming back on Friday. Let's go. Also, Hank, you might want to text Billy. I think he's very upset at you.

I don't get it. No, fuck that. Love you guys. Don't care. We can, we can get him to say that fucking fight story a billion times. By the space shuttle. We've set up with direct launch of modules. Talking away.

So I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say that you wait. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. So I'll be coming for your love, okay. Shying away. So I'll be coming for your love, okay. You take on me, take me on.

I'll be gone. And after you'll change me. Let's just say I'm upset at you. But I'll be so willing to wait. So I'll be learning that life is okay. Stay up to me. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Stay up to me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. And after you'll change me. Have the feelings that you say. Yeah, it's been a lot more. Just to play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember.

You're shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway. You're shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. And after you'll change me. I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. And after you'll change me. Take on me, take me on. Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone.