Pardon My Take - Browns HC Kevin Stefanski, Billy’s Jets Project Is Finally Here, Lamar Franchise Tagged + Guys On Chicks

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Lamar Jackson has been franchise tagged and Daniel Jones gets a new deal. Ja Morant won’t even listen to Steven Adams and we have a billion dollar idea (00:00:00-00:18:18). Billy has completed his Jets QB thesis and reveals his findings with a power point presentation (00:18:18-00:39:58). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Jake getting political (00:39:58-00:59:58). Browns Head Coach Kevin Stefanski joins the show to talk about his career, coaching philosophies, trick plays, growing up in Philly and more (00:59:58-01:44:05). We finish with guys on chicks and a very dumb debate (01:44:05-02:01:04).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have Cleveland Brown's head coach, Kevin Stafansky. Our last interview from the Indie Combine. Great interview with Coach Stafansky.

We gave him some good ideas that I think Brown's fans will be seeing in a playbook soon. We are going to talk about Lamar getting non-exclusive franchise tagged. Aaron Rodgers flying out, or sorry, Woody Johnson's flying out to California to meet with Aaron Rodgers. We have Billy's Jets.

What are we calling it? Dissertation? Yeah. It's your dissertation. Exactly. Okay, so it's your senior project. We will go through that. He's got a slide show.

He's given us a laminated paper here. This is great. Four months in the work? Yeah, four months in the work. We have hot seat, cool throne. We have guys on chicks. Great Wednesday show for you, and it is brought to you by our friends

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No place to hang alone washing And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher

Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, March 8th. And Lamar Jackson is officially out to be had. Non-exclusive franchise tag. That's interesting, big cat. That's very interesting. You're doing your wind horse? Brian's wind horse meme.

Now why would they do that? Because the Ravens actually just released a statement Essentially being like, Hey, Sarge Ravens fans, we fucked this up. Where they're saying, Now, don't let the franchise tag fool you. We're still hopeful that we can negotiate A long-term extension for Lamar.

Which they're probably gonna still try to do. They're protecting themselves. So the non-exclusive franchise tag For anyone who doesn't know, It means that anyone else can make an offer sheet To Lamar Jackson. The Ravens have the right to match. If the Ravens do not want to match,

That team gets to sign Lamar Jackson. But then they forfeit their next two first round picks To the Ravens. Correct. Now the Ravens also could have put The exclusive franchise tag on Lamar Jackson. Which would have been, I want to say $6 million more.

But they're not doing that. So if you're the Ravens GM And you truly believe that you're going to Resign Lamar Jackson to a long-term deal As the negotiation moves forward, Wouldn't you make it a non-exclusive, Or wouldn't you make it an exclusive franchise tag? You'd think so.

I certainly would. I can report exclusively via Leroy That the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills Will not be pursuing Lamar Jackson. As well as the Bengals. Add that to the list. The Bengals are on the list as well. The C-Words will also not be pursuing Lamar Jackson.

Interesting. So we've got those locked up. Yes. Oh, the Cleveland Browns also Will not be pursuing Lamar Jackson. So that basically just leaves the commanders. And that's it. Yeah.

So future commander Lamar Jackson, I refuse to let Schefter beat me on. Wouldn't that be just so poetic? If Schefti was pulling a double prank on us. Yes. And was actually leaking us true information. Then saying it was a fake. I am delusional and I'm a very sad broken man.

I'm realizing this as I'm saying it out loud. I'm hoping it happens. I am so, I'm pathetic. I'm hoping for his future. I am a pathetic. Well, my future too. I told Hank to put that future in. Hank graciously accepted splitting it up with me.

Oh, nice. So when I put it in the sportsbook, sometimes it, if you, I put in 500 and it said, put in like 350 and send 150 for approval. So I'm going to sell PFT to 350. Oh, nice. Keep the 150. Nice.

By the way, the difference. Left hand up. The difference PFT in the exclusive and non exclusive is bigger than that. It's 12 million. So. Oh, wow. Okay.

So the non exclusive franchise tag, he makes $32.4 million this year. If they had done the exclusive tag on him, it would have been $45 million. Okay. So that's a pretty big difference. If you're confident that you can reach a place where you'll have an extension, then you,

I would imagine the extension would be in the neighborhood of $45, $50 million a year. Correct. So you would probably put that tag on him instead of the lesser amount and then leave the option for him to get signed by somebody else. Yes. Yes.

So if you're confident about Lamar, whether or not he'll ever get back to that MVP level, he's at some injuries and his butt hurts all the time. Well, the Ravens do have an F minus in strength coaching. What about this? What about trading the commander's A plus strength and conditioning coach to the Ravens for Lamar Jackson? I'm just a sad, sorry individual.

Under that deal, you'd have to take the F minus. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, you have to take the Ravens strength and conditioning coach. That's fine. Okay. So if you have an in landover, that's like, Oh, breaking moves.

It's like you're stirring up Tannerite. Uh-oh. There's a lot of things that could be this breaking moves. Quarterback just signed a four-year deal worth $160 million sources say with $35 million more in upside, they are finalizing. Is that Daniel Jones? It is Daniel Jones.

It is. And it was first reported by Hoompst. I'm seeing Mike Garifolo. Wrong. Leroy. Leroy broke that shit 45 minutes ago. Dick Schefter. Damn.

Leroy. My dead dog beat Leroy. That's one. If we're updating the counter. Leroy one. Adam Schefter zero. Zero, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Good for Daniel Jones. I feel like that was what was it again? Leroy. Can you give us the... According to Leroy, they're nearing an agreement on a four-year contract extension upwards of $150 million. Bark, bark, bark.

I am a dog. This is my favorite time of year. We had to just do a quick refresher that the initial tweet that anyone tweets about a contract is always just fake money. So what was it Hank? What was the listed one? I love when agents text Schefter or Rappaport and they're like, here's the deal.

And then they look into it after the initial tweet and it's like, oh, they actually just signed them to like a $50 million contract and they can cut them after half a season. Rappaport says four-year deal worth $160 million with $35 million more in upside. Okay. So that could be anything. That could be a two-year deal for $50 million.

There was also some ambiguity about the Derek Carr deal. Derek Carr had a similar situation where he signed a new contract, I think what, last year? Yeah. And then how much was actually guaranteed? How much was just on paper? Yeah. Don't trust the first reports because there are agents that have

contacts with Schefter or with Rappaport and they're just trying to get the splash out there of like, look how much money I got from my client. Right. And Gino signed as well. The Derek Carr deal, because that did happen on Monday. We didn't talk about it on Sunday night. That, listen, if you're a Saints fan, I guess you're like, hey,

it's better than what we've been going through. But doesn't it feel like the ceiling for Derek Carr and the Saints is like maybe a second round loss? Well, we've definitely got the new era of the Carson Wins versus Dak Prescott debate already set up and ready to go for us. And that's Daniel Jones and Derek Carr. Now we'll be tied in because of, they got essentially the same contract. Right.

And so which one would you rather have at this point? I guess maybe Daniel Jones because he's younger. Yeah. That would probably be the argument. I would say Derek Carr would be better on the Giants. Daniel Jones would be better on the Saints. Actually, no, the Saints with Sean Payton. Yeah.

Yeah. Then that would be a deal. Then he's like, he's like Turbo Taysom Hill. Yeah. But yeah, so we're starting the, we're inching towards a free agent period. We have Aaron Rodgers getting courted by the Jets. I also did reach out to Aaron Rodgers and I said,

I just want to let you know you're going to love New York City. If you need any recommendations, I'd be happy to help. That's just friends looking out for friends. That's nice. I feel like that was gracious of me. That's very nice. He's not responding. I don't think he will ever respond.

But I made the offer. It is funny to think that Woody Johnson, so he's going out there with Sala with Nathaniel Hackett, who is the Aaron Rodgers whisper over one on whispering to Aaron Rodgers and the team president. And we've speculated what Aaron Rodgers want to play for Woody Johnson of Johnson and Johnson Pharmaceuticals or that family. But they're probably going to, that's going to be a little ice breaker. They have to get through right off the bat.

Yes. Tell me what's really in the jab. Yes. Yes. That's definitely the question is going to be had. All right. So other things, I did see there was more news about John Morant and like things.

So he might be under investigation now because of having a firearm on the plane, also potentially Denver's investigating whether he was legally allowed to have it there. We also had a story come out that Stephen Adams had a players only meeting where he took John Morant. He basically told the whole team, we have to stop partying on the road. They have a grizzlies are a bad road team this year and essentially was singling out John Morant without singling him out.

That actually speaks poorly to John Morant's ability to change because I feel like if Stephen Adams tells you not to do something, you should listen. Absolutely. I'm terrified of the scariest guys in the world. And if he's like, you know, maybe you can give us an Australian accent, but been like, Ja, stop fucking around. And I'm from New Zealand.

Yeah. New Zealand. Yeah. Same thing. But yeah, that John Morant, I wish I hadn't known that part when I was saying I was behind John Morant because the Stephen Adams being like, stop fucking around Ja speech should be the moment where he changes. That's probably why he got a gun was to protect himself from Stephen Adams.

Yeah. Although that that thing isn't going to stop Stephen. No, definitely not. John might. What are you at 12, 13 years old? Yeah. It's acting like a proper NBA player, huh? Put, leave the piece at home if you're going to go out with the mites.

Seek a couple birds and show you Liz at the TD bar. Leave your gun at home. I think you nailed it. Yeah. That was exclusive interview with Stephen Adams. I feel bad because we absolutely dropped the ball in our John Morant analysis. And we talked about on the last show, we did not anticipate the very obvious

take that Skip Bayless was going to have in the action of this. Skip Bayless. He discussed this at length. Skip Bayless's problem with the John Morant video was he was going out celebrating after a loss. Oh, if you're going to be flashing a strip club or flashing a strip club gun, you should do it maybe after you beat the Clippers. Yeah.

Not after you give up 135 points to the Clippers. That's a fair in a road loss. That's fair point. Skip. Again, I take, I sometimes it's refreshing to me knowing that as much as we like to think that we can get inside Skip Bayless's head, he's always three steps ahead. Oh, easily, easily. Yeah.

So that, that, that, and I actually, I kind of agree with him. That and the gun was way too small. If it's comically small, it should be a celebration gun, not a despair gun. Right. Maybe actually it'd be funny if the despair gun was like a Civil War musket. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, like look at this thing.

I'm bringing a musket, like a musket in a strip club doesn't fit. No. It's like, I'm so sad. I need my musket. Yeah. That would be, that'd be way funnier. Yeah. I always love it when police agencies and departments, they release pictures of guns

that they've confiscated and they always look like they're from the year 1912. Yes. People pile on it and it's like, get this. Hey, I'll be having that gun out of my face. Yeah. I mean, it's the Jamanran. I don't know. The next, I feel like he's going to get suspended, right?

I guess he has. Well, no, he's two days himself. He's taking some time away to deal with his gun addiction. And then they'll probably figure out a way. Well, now the real issue is local authorities in Colorado are actually investigating it. If he gets convicted or indicted for a gun crime, there'll probably be something that comes down from Silver. Yeah.

Silver hates this, by the way. Yeah. Silver wants to be the cool guy. He wants to be the cool substitute teacher. He wants to be the cool stepdad like, hey, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything. So whenever he asked to actually be the heavy, he absolutely, he cannot stand that. Yeah.

Well, Mellow, the clip resurfaced from a million dollars worth of game interviewing Mellow. And he said that when he was coming into the league, David started a meeting with him. He was like, we know who you're hanging out with. We know what they're doing. Like, we're watching you. And if you don't change, like, this is going to be a problem. But he was like, I had no idea. And he basically told me the people I was with and what they're doing.

And I had to. Interesting. I had to. And he was like, yeah, it made sense. Because if you're investing millions and millions of dollars into someone, you want to know what they're doing. But that's where there's probably a difference between. Oh, yeah.

Adam Silver wants to be everyone's friend. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's absolutely true. You have to be partners with everyone, which is fine. Like I understand we're in a lot better of a player empowerment age, but David Stern, like, I don't know if that probably makes sense to be like, hey, like young guys with a lot to lose.

Here's what you have to lose. This is what you should probably do. So you don't lose it. You have to have the overbearing, like angry militant dad and then the crunchy granola mom. Yeah. It takes but good, good cop, bad cop. You should make it like, like the, you know, the old trope when, when a parent catches

a kid smoking a cigarette, they make him smoke an entire pack. They should make John Morant drive around in only a tank. See how that is. Yeah. How you like traffic in a tank, bro. Well, tell you what, we're going to give you a B2 stealth bomber and you have to fly it from location, location. Oh, you like weaponry job?

Yeah, fully on. Okay, bro. Let's see if. Yeah. Let's see. Let's see if you could deal with fucking LA traffic when you're playing the Clippers in a Sherman. Load up a mark 82 on that wing.

How bad do you think Adam Silver was dreading making the call to Yanis to tell him, Hey, that triple doubles not going to count. Oh yeah. The stat padding is hot in the streets right now. He definitely had somebody make that call for. Yes. Stat padding is, is hot in the streets. People are doing it.

I did watch an old clip. We're still actually sent it to me of Russell Westbrook stat padding and it is so fucking funny. He was just passing up like five foot bunnies to try to get another assist, like, like literally going to the rim hard and then at the last second just throwing kicking it out to a guy who wasn't even ready to take a three, just hoping that he could get that last assist. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, he that that one season where he was just averaging a triple double was unreal, but in retrospect, looking back on it, like I was fascinated by triple doubles, then there was no such thing as a bad triple double and they're really that's kind of like give or take a little bit right now, but they're definitely, they're not all built the same. And I also kind of respect in retrospect, Russell Westbrook being like, yeah, my team's not very good. I'm going to get me. Yeah.

And I'm just going to go out there and do it for myself. Couldn't you also say that playing with poor shooters makes it easier for you to get rebounds? Yeah. So the worst your teammates are, if you give them bad passes, then you can get rebounds more easily. Get the rebounds, get that out of the way. Okay.

So the strip club guys, we should, because we make fun of them all the time, James Harden. James Harden had 20 assists last night. Yeah, he did. Is James Harden fully back? The Pacers. That game was great teammate James Harden in like the 140s, um, James Harden future Houston rocket, which is, it feels like the, uh, the quiet secret that everyone in the NBA circles are talking about that he just wants to go back to Houston, which is very funny because

it's like, yeah, he's Philly strip clubs, Max and Philly are just not cutting it. They're just not it. Okay. You hear me, Max? Yeah. There's a lot of season left. We'll see what happens. No, no, no strip clubs.

You get to up your strip club game a little bit if you want to track top line. That would be so funny if, if, if a team, I mean, James Harden's on the tail end of his career, but like maybe five years ago, like a mayor was like, we're opening a new strip club. Well, for you, James, even better than that, teams should open up their own strip clubs. Yes. The next mark Cuban, the next young owner that comes into the league, they should set up their own strip club that's next to the team facility.

And then you just stock them with the best dancers, free alcohol for all your players. What about to court John Moran? Yeah. It's just a strip club laser tag. There you go. That would be perfect. Who wouldn't want to go to a strip club laser tag? I would.

That actually is a, how do we not have that combo? I would get KFC and Taco Bell together. Yeah. How do we not have a strip club laser tag? Dave and Buster's mixed with a whorehouse. Dude playing laser tag with naked women. Now we're just describing Dan Bilzerian's house. Yeah.

That is. We've gone to the deep, deep parts of our brains. Yep. All right. I would sign with that team. Yeah. In a heart. Yeah.

I'm not even that horny. Speaking of deep parts of our brain, Billy, are you ready? So yeah, for anyone who doesn't know what's about to happen, Billy has, he, he has a theory that New York quarterbacks, this was, I think somewhere in the late part of the season, when he was just trying to grasp it, anything for Zach Wilson to not be one of the biggest busts of all time. He was like, well, it's actually the media's fault. So he said, why don't you dig in on that?

Why don't you, why don't you try to find some facts how the New York media is actually at fault for the Jets poor quarterback play. And you have landed on a report that is titled Jets Landing New Veteran QB. How can the New York media learn from the past and not hamper QB play? So you're actually taking the entire media to task. Yeah. Okay. Specifically the written copy has a different title.

Yeah. I was, I was going to be my first question. The written copy is how the New York media ruins Jets quarterbacks. Several case studies. Several. Yeah. Several. The full case studies are in those pamphlets.

I love how you're just, you're titling it by Billy. By Billy. Yes. By Billy. Okay. All right. So let's hop into it because I have some questions and, and yeah, take us away. So also if you're watching on YouTube, we will have the slides so you can follow along.

So go subscribe to the YouTube and like the video. Max, we get that full screens, please. Okay. Wow. That would, that would have been bad if we didn't have it full screen. The text gets a little smaller. Okay. Some points.

Okay. I mean, I'm not saying go fast, but let's go. Yeah. We'll keep it quicker. So next slide. Basically why do some quarterbacks to, uh, and we're taking a look at quarterbacks back in the past 15 years. So since Brett Favre is all our case studies, basically there is a common pattern of Jets

quarterbacks playing badly. And then once they leave, having some sort of success or also some, uh, a lack of negative portrayal in the media. Okay. So who has had success? We can get into that. Cause I'm going to Patrick had one good year through my brain. I hope Gino isn't the case because it took him like 10 years, Brett Favre had a comparatively

better season. He did. He went to the NFC championship game. Do you think that was the, that was the evil New York media that went after Brett Favre? Or do you think it was his injury in week 11 that year? Yes. Okay. Sanchez is an outlier.

We'll talk about why. Elsewhere. Yes. Okay. But also he did decently well in New York. I think we have multiple. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Good point. And then we have, then we have Sam Darnold, who has done well. No. No. Better. Better. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He was, he was not, no, he was not awful in a couple of games. But also we're not hearing how terrible he is anymore. That's the big one. Maybe that's cause he's not in the New York media. And he also didn't play half the season. Right. But when he did play. Okay.

I'm just, I'm just, Sam Darnold is not better. Okay. He is arguably a little better compared to him. His last game week, week 18 for the Panthers, he was five for 15 with two interceptions and 43 yards. He had some other good games though. He had some other, he had one good, he had one game where he had 340 yards and three touchdowns.

Yep. There we go. We don't know the, the end of the Sam Darnold story. Is it working progress? Sure. We don't know the end of it. Yup. Okay.

His completion percentage was 58%. He has not contracted mononucleosis since leaving New York, Jess. So again, we probably didn't hear from him cause he only played the last like six weeks of the season. So this is what I think. Okay. This is my thesis. Next slide, Max.

Thank you. The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Okay. The division of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterbacks confidence in the given situation. Okay.

It's a real chicken or the egg situation. Do they suck because of the media or does the media report on them sucking? Or because Brett Farve got hurt that year when they were at Jets were eight and three. When also was spamming dick pics. Yes. We don't mention that. Next slide. Okay.

Why is New York different than other markets? It is the media capital of the world. Okay. It has 11 major sports teams, most in North America, has two national newspapers based out of here. New York Times, Washington Post, Washington Islanders and Wall Street Journal. And fuck the New York Times for that article that we'll maybe do a Monday reading on like why people don't want to date podcast bros.

It's a major location of cable news networks. This one's the most interesting. The city layout is built in a pre automobile era. That's what I'm interested in. I want to know how that impacts the Jets quarterbacks. I love it. I love it. Who all live in New Jersey?

Right. But they do frequent New York, which is a very walkable city. Got it. And they go there for entertainment. Okay. So the part with here, why don't we, we can deconstruct it since a little too organized. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Oh yeah. That's long. We're deconstructing. As long as my critique of Billy is too organized. It's too detail oriented sometimes. There's several reasons. The media is always, because there's more members of the media, there's less of an intrapersonal

relationship between athletes and reporters. And there's more reporters, which are all competing for different stories, causing more leaves to be. This actually sounds correct. More leaves to be flipped over and smaller stories to become bigger headlines. So you can repeatedly see, we can fast forward a little bit to the, let's say, Brett Farve slide. Wait, before we get to Brett Farve, can I stop you for one second?

Yeah. What's the limitation in this study? Oh yeah. We should probably bring that up. There's some ethical concerns with the study. Okay. Do you use monkeys like Elon Musk? No.

Just Jets quarterbacks. So going back, basically, it's a lot of, how do we say it, non-numeric data. Are you also? Anecdotal. Anecdotal is the word you're looking for. Got it. There are more snakes in New York. Was that some Kyrie shit you're on?

No, no. That's a quote from another, that's a quote from a, no, no, no. That's a quote from a will, that article that is cited in the thing, is that it's not that New York has more snakes in the grass, talking about reporters, it's just, no, it doesn't have worse snakes in the grass, just more snakes. We've got this entire three page section on the Rothschild family. No, that's not there. That's not there.

I'm publishing, check the blog online. So the George Soros chapter we're taking out, okay, got it, got it, got it, got it. That wasn't in there at all. There's just more snakes in Williamsburg is what Billy's trying to say. No, next, next, okay, wait. We might have gotten him off his game, this classic New York media box. I have no idea where you want me to be, right? I don't know either.

You told me to go to Brett Farm and then nothing happened from Brett Farm. Also, Brett Farm did get hurt in week 11. I think that part is just like. No, there was actually, there was a really interesting article about how New York was. It was a UCL injury. It was an elbow. Yeah, they were eight and 11 and then they missed the playoffs. They lost to Chad Pennington and the Dolphins in the last game of the season.

I was there. You were? Yeah. Wow. The old Meadowlands. Are you one of those snakes? There's my Hanukkah present. Oh, Billy, get him up.

Lock him up. No, no, no. No, there's a really good New Yorker article that Will Leitch wrote actually a year ago about how New York used to be the place to be for athletes to want to sign. The money was there, the market was there, but basically the media has become so large and it's become such a business that it's more advantageous for them to, you know, really go into. Wait, so he wrote an entire article that could have just been like, yeah, now athletes

can slide into Instagram DMs from Oklahoma City. Yes. Okay. Got it. Yes. No, but it's actually really interesting. The fan to player interface in New York compared to other places because it's not, you know, they're not going helicopter to the SUV, SUV to the parking lot, parking lot

to the hotel. There's more of a possibility for players to be in a walkable city in interface with fans. But they don't, they live in New Jersey. Right. But they come to New York. I would say that there's more interface in every other city versus New York. Also, like, do you think there's more interface in Green Bay, Wisconsin with the Packers?

No, way less. I would disagree. And they're like at the grocery store in a town of a hundred thousand people. Okay. You know what? There are a couple of problems. Yeah. Patrick Mahomes definitely gets seen in Kansas City more than people see the jet's quarterback.

It's just big. Well, these are various theories. Okay. I got it. That's a small one. Real quick. The flow chart of how you get from practice to New York City. You get in a helicopter to your car.

I think all these guys live in Manhattan. No, a lot of them do live in New York. I think you take the car to the helicopter. I don't think a lot of them do. I mean, like Eli lived in Hoboken his entire career. Okay. Basically, let's go back to Brett Favre. Okay.

Okay. So this is the anchor, whatever we have trouble, hit the Brett Favre button. So Brett Favre, halfway through the season, before he was injured, before anything, he was, basically, they accused him of giving up secrets to Detroit Lions coaches. He had a conversation with a Detroit Lions coach. This became a huge story and everyone was basically using him. That was early in the season, right? Early in the season.

So was he talking about like building a volleyball facility for his daughter at some point? No. No. But at that point, he was not really doing anything wrong, but this random buzz probably was a distraction. And if it wasn't, it became into the minds of fans. Okay. The media dictates what fans kind of think no matter what, even if quarterbacks try to

stray away from it. So, but he played well after that, right? But not to say it wasn't a distraction. What week was it? It was week four. When he had six touchdowns. Yeah. He had six touchdowns that week.

We're about the next week. Yeah. He almost broke the record. Yeah. The week that he had the media criticism, right? But that was probably the week after he dealt with media criticism. But basically Brett Farr was painted in a narrative that we were worse off for Brett Farr.

What kind of plays was he giving up to the Detroit Lions where he was then throwing six touchdowns against them? Like, was he going to throw 10 touchdowns against him if he didn't have that conversation? No. It was the Cardinals. This was a totally unrelated thing. They were saying that they weren't even playing Detroit. Detroit wasn't playing the Jets, but they're just claiming that he was giving secrets.

Okay. And the story came out before the Cardinals game? Yes. And then he threw six touchdowns. But then he struggled the game after. Got it. Okay. All right.

Anyway, Geno Smith was accused that Jay-Z recruited him to New York. Basically there's just a lot of stuff that comes out. He was drafted, though. He was drafted. They told him that you're playing for us. Right. It was a Jets rookie, QB Smith, Jay-Z did not recruit me. There's also a list of New York post articles, which I used as sort of what to draw from

as like to test the temperature of what's going on in the city. Got it. Got it. Okay. They're just really shit talking, Geno Smith. They like crucify him for getting his job broken. He got punched. That was before.

Okay. This is before. Okay. The job breaking thing was, you know, he was already. He was already out. All right. That was pre-crucified. Okay.

And then Sam Darnold, Mono, seeing ghosts, ran out of town. Eddie's been incredible since. Right. And one thing, Zach Wilson is not the only player in the NFL who had a hot mom, but they made his hot mom a bigger story than it should have been. Who are some other examples of players with hot moms? Or hot sisters. For my research.

So what, what, I guess my question would be, how did Eli do so well? Um, okay. So the Giants is in a different situation because they had the same amount of, uh, they had the same amount of shortcomings, but Eli Manning was there for a longer period of time and solidified himself, right? But he was still driven out of town by the end of it. Not really. He just was old and like couldn't play anymore.

It's a different situation because he was from a pre-social media era. So this is interesting because I would like to know the difference between the Giants media and the Jets. Yeah. Because Eli, I feel like Eli is one of the most beloved New York athletes. And wait, here, Billy, how about this? What's the difference between the Yankees media and the Jets media? The Yankees have won in a long time.

Yeah. No, but they do have 27. Yeah. Those, those rings are a real rings fly. This is worth, I mean, all these are in like the last 12 years. Okay. 15 years. Derek Jeter had a lot of media scrutiny.

Is it the New York media? Is that why the Yankees suck now is because the New York media? Could be. It might be. Also the Knicks. Although they might be good this year. But I also cite, there's a, uh, there's actually like a business study. Are we done with the PowerPoint?

Yeah. That's my question. We could just cut this whole thing if we want to. Totally fine with that. I'll just post it as a blog. When you, I think you, the one point that I agree with is that you found it that I think is a good like premise to jump off of is the idea that there are so many writers competing for clicks and the writers don't have relationships with the players.

That I think is you nailed because that actually makes perfect sense where it's like, yeah, I think I, when I was perusing your, your, your, uh, dissertation, you pointed out like a headline that said, you know, Jets win, Gino Smith struggles. Like that, that, that writers have to find a way to get people to, to read their, their articles so they can't just be like Jets win. You know what I mean? And that was a good point. So I'm giving you a point.

Appreciate that. Yeah. Basically what I wanted to get to the like ending thing and what we should be paying attention now, like when looking for a new quarterback to bring into New York, who could actually deal with all of that? Like for example, a guy like Aaron Rodgers. Well actually, yeah, cause he's already in the flame. Yeah.

That's true. Jimmy Garoppolo would be more likely to bring, be a lightning rod to attention if he's like, you know, bring a, you know, a porn star out being a distraction just like cause he's on record doing things that would be tabloid worthy. Lamar Jackson also would be a perfect pick because he's been totally non-controversial except for probably one tweet and like being in a Kodak black video. Yeah. What tweet was it from Lamar?

It was, uh, Why the buddy pregnant? Nice interpretation. Oh, that one where he told the guy like, eat a dick, right? Yeah. Yeah. Also the trust Trump. Remember that one?

I actually, that's a great. Yeah. Why the buddy pregnant? I laughed like once a month. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So I, all right. So this makes sense, Billy.

You've found a way to make sense. I think your case studies make no sense. No offense. Uh, but I think you're the, the, the conclusion makes a lot of sense that there are certain guys that are made for New York media and Lamar Jackson, Aaron Rodgers being two of those guys. Like Derek Carr would not work. I would agree.

Too sensitive. Yeah. He blocks everybody on Twitter. Yeah. A hundred percent. Like you wouldn't be able to, like his excuses wouldn't suffice for the New York and the thing is Aaron Rodgers just doesn't care about it. Right.

Right. And he's, and he's willing to fuck with them. Yeah. No, I agree. He's totally, you know, non in the news and doesn't want to like really say anything or someone who's literally just like, has fun doing it. Right. And then just says, ah, it's all fake.

It's the mainstream media. Right. Even one works. So the Jets should actually listen to Billy. They should in this case. Cause like I think you, I think you in a, in a galaxy brain way, you wrote a 15 page paper that makes no sense, but your conclusion makes perfect sense, which is actually really all that matters.

You stuck the landing. Yeah. You stuck the landing. We got there. I tend to agree with big cat on this Billy. I think that there's probably some scientific merit to the fact that you do get more clicks on a website. If you're writing a negative story or a salacious story and in a cutthroat media market like

New York, the reporters are less concerned with having those relationships with players more concerned about their competition against other writers. Yeah. And a lot of them. I'll put it this way. If you have a person in New York who's buddy, buddy with Zach Wilson and writes like glowing pieces about him, how do you think those are going to do? Yeah.

Is that, is that going to get more clicks or less clicks than a story about how he might have fucked his friend's hot mom? Exactly. Okay. Also, and also look around the league. I bet you tons of quarterbacks in leagues in the NFL have fun or have fucked their friends hot mom. Yeah.

100%. Damn, Billy. I'm actually very proud of you. No, but they're, they're actually, again, the actual like bones of it make no sense. But wait, Billy, aren't you a member of the New York media? Yes. That's why I was trying to do the opposite last season, but then I couldn't. Right.

Because it wasn't. Do you think maybe like high expectations for players could, could that also be a contributing factor? 100%. Would that when you would say like their ceiling is Patrick Mahomes? That would be that could set them up. That would also be funny if Zach Wilson came out and was like, you know, the only media I consume is part of my take.

And I thought I was crushing it. Yeah. Like if I listened to them every single Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and they were, they were saying that I was, I didn't even need to do practice. That could have happened. Maybe you ruined the jets, Billy. I tried not to. Yeah.

That's the other part of this is like, maybe the jets just suck at drafting. Yep. Cause like you could make the same argument for the bears or the commanders and be like, it's the media fault. No, it's actually just the organization is a failure. It's easier to drive around Chicago though. Right. Yes.

Wait, I still don't wait. Walk me back to the New York city being developed before, but again, those guys, the bears players live in Lake forest. They don't even live downtown. Like same as the jets players don't live in. That's why I'm saying like Aaron Rogers definitely gets seen by more people in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Also what's in there is that there's more of a paparazzi atmosphere in New York for celebrities.

So you end up having players who on a night out might get, right. So that's why that's why the Los Angeles Rams will never win a super never I'll never never the Rams and the chargers never. Yeah, exactly. They haven't been there long enough yet for this to impact by this same thread that we're pulling on. Couldn't you say the Green Bay Packers, the media in Green Bay is the reason why they've been so good.

Not their quarterbacks. Right. They just have great writers up there that are friendly to you. The media makes teams good or bad. Yeah. This is more important than the players. 100%. Thank you for.

Yeah, I agree with that. All right. Good job, Billy. I'm going to give you a 3.7 balls. I think that's over a C. Yeah. 3.7 out of 5 balls. I'm going to give you an F plus plus plus plus plus plus.

That means a B minus. Sweet. Hank, would you like to give them a grade? No. That's incomplete. That's incomplete. That's incomplete. You've got to actually.

I'm going to pass. You know what? The name of this whole presentation could be called Pass Fail. Yeah. Why New York Jets quarterbacks suck. Well, I'm just going to give the franchise and the whole town in general of New York and F. The whole town. I mean, you mentioned they have 11 teams and I didn't hear any mention of championships.

What about the barbecue? Best barbecue in the world? True. And whiskey. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Should we do a Hot Sea Cool Throne and then we'll get to Kevin Sifansky.

Hank. Yeah. Would you like to start with a Hot Sea Cool Throne? Good job, Billy. 3.7 out of 5 balls. No, that's huge. You did a lot of work. It's a lot of work that you did that I'm applauding.

I tried to do something that was kind of impossible. Yeah. You did. Yeah. That's right. But hey, they thought that the guy that flew an airplane for the first time was crazy. Yeah. It's actually the lesson that you learned you should actually throw out because this show

is built on saying things, having nothing to back them up is what you essentially did and then you tried to back it up and it wasn't there. So we just got to remember to never back up anything. Yeah. If you just say it with enough conviction, that's worth a million reports, a million studies. Yeah. Also, I screwed up.

It was Jeff Neal, not Jeff Lewis on Monday, Jeff Lewis was the flipping out guy. Remember that show? For the UFC. That show ruled. He was just a gay guy who would just get in fights with his housekeeper every morning and then go make million dollar houses. I did not watch that show. Oh, that's great.

It sounds electric. It's fucking awesome. I think the big takeaway from Billy's report is it's better to sound correct than it is to be correct. Correct. Wait, which did I sound correct when I said that? You sounded very correct. The way you slowed down there was correct.

Okay. I just think if Aaron Rodgers did come to New York, the circus around it would be awesome to watch. Yeah. But wait. It would be great if he actually did bring a circus to town. Here's my elephant. Yeah.

Okay. Hank. Hot seat. My hot seat? It's kind of like bizarro world. We got Billy over here doing work cited pages, writing up a detailed report and then on the flip side we have our darling Jake sparking up the internet and firing up. I had myself on the hot seat for this.

What'd you do, Jake? Can I finish? Yeah, go ahead. What'd he do? He's just sending out like crazy slanted political takes on Twitter. What? Okay. So I wrote a blog on this too.

It's insane. Yeah. It's like going viral. What happened? The title of the blog is, I didn't stick to sports for this tweet. Wait, no. Read the tweet. Yeah, read the tweet.

I would see the tweet. I would see the tweet. Not a political tweet. It's not the blog. It's the tweet. Not a political tweet. This was an elite segment with an elite name, Barakatology. Oh.

With a picture of Obama filling out his bracket. Oh, you got real political. Yeah. You got real political. There's a lot of people being sarcastic in the replies, Hank being one of them, but some people, like they're just fighting with each other, like actual politics in the replies. So I remember that segment. It was him and Andy Katz, right?

In the Oval Office. And he did like a 30 minute bracket. My problem with his bracket, if I remember it correctly, this motherfucker took all the chalk. You know what I call him? He dicky beat it. Pachock Obama. Oh, geez.

Yeah. His only upset was he had Nova advancing to the sweet 16, right? Over someone. I forget. He did it every year, but yes, it was mostly top seeds advancing. And people were like, how he should be spending his time killing Bin Laden again instead of making this bracket. We really, we really missed out, like Trump never filling out a bracket.

He should have, he should have released the perfect bracket after every interview. I said the blog. I said the blog. Trump or Biden did this. I would think it's equally as entertaining. Well, no. Trump is still having the name. He did.

Well, they would have to have a name. Yeah. But the segment itself. Got it. So like it was not a political, it sounds political to me, but some people are mad. Yeah. This guy said, I'm just trying to enjoy a sunny Tuesday morning and now I have to think about innocent people killed by drones around the world.

Yeah. You did that to him. You did that to him. Thank you, Jake. Wow. Very cool. Way to go, Jake. Not great, but way to go.

Sorry. Everyone says I'm the favorite for Lib of the Year in 2023. I would say you're definitely at the forefront. How often do you watch that baracketology? You have to just listen to podcast too, Jake. It's a callback to a few weeks ago for those who missed that, but I just watched it on YouTube today. You did?

Why? It's a cool segment. Another guy filling out his bracket. What? At the end of the. Five-minute segment. At the end of the day. What made you think like, oh, another, like, like we talk about this Obama's bracket.

I don't want the whole thing. I just like scrolled through it. Like, just to embed it in the blog. What was your favorite part? I don't know. Yeah. I was just like, talking ball. I can't think of anything more boring.

Let's be clear. UNC's got a great front court. Yeah. Like, it was a cool segment. Like, just nothing else to it. I didn't expect it to take off like that. Yeah. I never, I don't think I ever watched one because I'm thinking about it and I, I mean,

I saw the pictures, but yeah, I don't give a fuck what he picks. I'm pretty sure that George Bush did it too. Yeah. At least one year when he was in office. Did you write a blog about that? Yeah. Funny Jake's not talking about that. Huh.

Huh. Just makes you think. All right. Your cool throne, Hank. My cool throne that would be on the hot seat if this, we were doing this six years ago, but I don't want to get in trouble, but sister Jean. Yeah. I had her also.

Why? She dead? No, but I mean, she's dying. Look at, look. Oh shit. That's what old people do. They die. The Gryffindor witch herself is back and they lost though.

They're eliminated. They're already eliminated. The president at the eight, 10 first round tournament. So she fell off. Physically. Physically present. She lost her touch. Yeah.

I mean, it is like, how old is she now? I think she's 99, 103. She's like stricken. No, no. And she just, she just wrote a book to over a hundred is running up the score. Someone wrote a book. You shouldn't write a book if you're a hundred or anything over 90 is running up the score. It's like, all right, enough already.

This is from the AP at age 103 sister Jean awakes daily at five a.m. She sits up quickly to avoid going to sleep again. I've got too much to do. That's great. That's like, the funny thing is sister Jean is probably by most metrics healthier than I am. Yes. She's got a much, a much better grasp on reality and how to go about your day than I do.

Like sitting, waking up. Oh, I still would. Waking up and then going back to sleep immediately thereafter is the best way to start your day. I still would. You can put that on the box. Fine. I'm going to tweet that still would. She's a witch.

Oh, all right. Pft. Yeah, I was going to talk about sister Jean as well. But I guess for my hot seat, I'll just do the entire NBA. Yeah. Because. Yeah. I had this as part of mine.

Because brownies better. Yeah. Brownies better. And that shit low. Lightweight hilarious. Yeah. And so I'm just going to start using lightweight in terms of low key. What did he say?

He said that that LeBron James is watching the NBA because he's hurt because he's hurt and he's not playing right now. And he said, man, brownie definitely better than some of these cats up and watch on a league pass today. Shit lightweight hilarious for crying emojis. I mean, LeBron James does no basketball. I just I love he doesn't have a dog in this fight. No, he does not.

He's being unbiased. I I tend to agree with LeBron James that shit is lightweight hilarious. Like imagine brownie in the NBA, right? I do want to see and LeBron is definitely acting as his son's marketing team, which I understand your dad should be your biggest promoter. And he's trying to get LeBron James Junior or Brownie drafted as opposed to good. Well, in a way, couldn't you look at this and be like, he doesn't want something to get an education.

How is LeBron different than LeVar Ball? That's a fair question. One is good at basketball. That's one. That's the biggest thing that jumped out to me. One is really. No, I didn't not play no, I'm saying LeVar Ball is the one that's really good at basketball. He said that he could be anybody, including Michael Jordan, one on one.

He played for the Jets practice squad. Exactly. OK, never lost. Yeah, never lost. He averaged like two points at Washington State. He probably didn't make it because of the New York media, though. Yeah, that's true. And then my hot seat is also going to be the NBA because Scott Foster is on his bullshit

again. All-time performance by Scott Foster last night. He teed up with it. Scotty Barnes with like 20 seconds left in the game, teed him up, then kind of chased him down and talked shit to him on the way out. Don't know what Scotty said. He was surprised. All of his teammates were surprised.

The rest of the referees were surprised that Scott Foster teed him up, threw him out of the game. I know that a lot of people are like, hey, listen, nobody goes to games to watch Scott Foster. I do watch games to watch Scott Foster. It's funny when he's deep in his bag and pulling out his A game. This was awesome. I love Scott Foster.

It's good, put it this way. It's good to have one Scott Foster in the league. You don't want to have a bunch of refs that are copycat Scott Foster's. But having this one wildcard, as a fan of chaos, I love rooting for Scott Foster. He is arguably the greatest to ever do it in terms of having a thin skin and being a really shitty referee. But he is very much himself. He's one of one.

And you have to appreciate greatness in that moment. It's good to have one. I'm like Joe West. When it's Joe West and Anhel Cabrera at the same time, that's too much. But I like having one guy that really sucks. This is you guys are all here for me. That we can watch him and be like, go, Scott, go. And so Scott was, he was in rare form last night.

I agree with that. Shout out, Scott Foster. I hope you continue this through the postseason. Yes, I'd agree with that. All right. My hot seat is a friend of the program, recurring guests. Hopefully we'll have them back on for NBA playoffs. JJ Redick, he's, he and Kendrick Perkins, like got actually upset at each other on

first take. I, we got to have JJ back on to just remind him that like first take, you don't have to take it seriously because he, he got upset and they're, they're arguing about MVPs. I think Kendrick Perkins alluded to maybe the MVP voters being a bias towards white guys, and then, uh, it devolved into like an argument that even Steven A Smith looked uncomfortable, which is hard to do. Yeah.

So I also have a take, um, the MVP is just way overrated besides the team. Like if you're, if your player wins the MVP, that's awesome. But like in terms of a league wide discussion, I just don't care who wins the MVP, I don't care who wins the title. You know how you can tell who's going to be second place in the MVP voting? The guy whose fans are chanting MVP when they're at the foul line, right? That should actually be the qualification. Like if you're that guy, then you're probably not the MVP because your fans

are trying really hard to push the edge and they're mad about it. Also, JJ does need to remind himself sometimes that first take is the opposite of news, and it's the opposite of, uh, being informed about things. We got to just get them back on track. JJ, it's better to sound correct than it is to be correct. Correct. You did it again. Thank you.

Fucking did it again. Yeah. No, I just like think about it. Like, can you remember every MVP? If you're, if a player you root for wins an MVP, that's awesome, but everyone would rather win a title than an MVP and we spend so much time talking about MVPs, what Hank, I mean, it's, it's a big award. It is a big award, but at the end of the day, like, do you, is it the most

memorable thing that like we spend so much time talking about MVPs and, and then like, do you, who was the MVP in the NFL four years ago? Uh, I'm going to guess Patrick Mahomes. Probably. Who was the MVP in the NBA four years ago? Deli. I rest my kids. I was maybe Yannis.

I think that was Yannis. Was that Yannis you remember? Yeah. Yannis went back. So I, I disagree. I guess I do, I do remember. I disagree that it's overrated. I think the, the MVP is like a very prestigious award, but we often do, it's

followed up with the, with the comment that it's a regular season. What awards aren't overrated? Actually, the title champion champion, winning the award of champs, purple heart. Purple heart is not overrated. Um, yes, the city not overrated pizza parties. I mean, it's literally not even the keys of the city. I literally have a key to Toledo, but you couldn't get in. If I could open every door, I walk up and I say, this is the key to the city.

Open your fucking door and they open the door. All right. So maybe, okay. So here, all right. Correct, correcting my own take. Maybe MVPs aren't overrated, but the discussion about them is overrated because I feel like we spend a shit, a lot of time talking about an MVP that most people like at the end of the day, then the playoffs start and it's like, yeah, this

is what we're playing for. Yeah, that's true. So for the record, it's when we're discussing LeBron versus Jordan, let's throw out Jordan's MVPs. Okay. Okay. And he's still six and all in the finals. I was wondering how many, what's the final three and 13 or something.

Exactly. Rest our case. No, no, no, three and a half, three and a half and 14 is really what it is. Um, all right, Billy. Um, my first hot seat. Also, if he's playing 23 of the most important games of his career, you count all those losses, his finals, final losses, absolutely. First hot seat is my tongue for Billy style cheesesteaks this Thursday at, uh,

there's multiple cheesesteak carts around New York city. And, uh, Jake and I will be at a random one at 11 a.m. Eastern time on Thursday. Fine, fine, Billy and Jake. Yeah. I love it. It's like, where's Waldo? Serving up cheesesteaks. You're gonna lick people?

Yeah. Why is your tongue on the hot seat? You got each PV. Michael Douglas is gonna make out with them. I'd need a hot seat. Uh, are you going to eat one Billy style? Yeah. I need one Billy style.

That's, yeah, exactly. Uh, are you sure you're signing up for that? 11 a.m. At 11 a.m. On Thursday, sign it up. Um, there's a bunch around the city. If you see them, take a picture, tweet them at us and we'll be retweeting them. And my cool throne is tore it all.

That shit really works. You tried some. I've, I've taken two tore it all shots in the past week. Is that how you got the, the, the, uh, report done? No, I, no, I was, I had hives. Okay. But it fucking works. Can we see your back?

It's, we got to blur it. Okay. It's just, we'll hunt. Max, Max, can you blur out max Billy's like this, please? All right, let's see. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, let's see, let's see. I've been, I've been, I've been taking tons of, you got to show the camera.

So we know what to blur. Show the camera is max zoom in. So we know what to blur. My laundromat did a low water setting and detergent was too high. Whatever, whatever you're thinking out there, everybody at home for the record, Billy does not have monkeypox. Stop putting it in the news that he has monkeypox. It wasn't a monkey.

Right. There was never was a monkey, not one iota, not one monkey. Yes. Yeah. But toward all it actually is insane how much it works. So that's unrelated to the fleas. I thought it was the fleas, but turns out during the hoboken water break. Wait, so why he doesn't work at a flea factory?

No, and he didn't have fleas. What's he been doing all day? I took him to the groomers. He's been leaving the, he's been leaving your apartment every morning with his suitcase and then just hanging out in a park. He's actually been working hard lately. And you got, he actually works for us. Why he's coming up to the airport and he works for us.

No, uh, great. I was going to say for firefest, uh, but yeah. So anyway, there's a water main break day. My laundromat did a low water cycle. So they like use the same amount of detergent with less water. And I guess I'm allergic to high concentrations of whatever they used. Damn dude. So then I've been like sleeping in my bed thinking I'd fleas, but

I was just like getting burnt by my bed. Billy's, you've always been a low concentration guy. Yeah. Do they give you like a free load for that? I don't even want to deal with it. I feel bad for them because they had no water. They struggle with load management. Yeah.

They had no water that day. So like, I don't know. It's not their fault. It's a PSG's fault. We all know that with the water main. Yes. Okay. I'm actually the same.

Yeah. I was like itching my face off and then I tore it all, all one way. I mean, yeah, you didn't have to take tour at all to know that. I mean, every NFL player is like, it's the best feeling thing in the world. And how, how many, yeah. How many of us have like done tour at all before? I actually don't think that it's monkey pox. That's sick, bro.

I think, I think it's Cordyceps. Okay. Okay. All right. Jake, your hot seat. Cool. It's wrong. Um, my hot seats retirement.

There was a report that Tom Brady would be. Oh yeah. I'm retiring again and possibly coming to the Dolphins. However, three hours ago, Tom Brady tweeted, anyone who thinks I have time to come back to the NFL has never adopted a two month old kitten for their daughter. Oh, slash done a standup career. Uh, did you also, this was rich eyes and had like his five rumors he heard in Indy. Um, and one of them was that Phil Rivers was also reaching out to teams last year.

So it could, we could be back on. I like that it bummed me out when I saw that, that no team wanted him. I'm sure they just couldn't afford him. Yeah, probably not. Probably not a lot of daycare. A lot of kids. Yeah. Uh, so wait, Tom Brady, not, I guess I'm on retired.

What does that mean when he says no one has ever come back to work after getting their daughter a two month old kitten? What does that have to do with it? I guess he means a lot of work schedules more filled now. Yeah. But it's a cat. It shits in your house. You don't have time to do practice broadcasts, right, Tom?

It's it's paternity leave. Yeah. He can't come back. Yeah. Um, my cool throne is swimming in new pussy. Yeah. My cool throne is Bob Costas. He received a lot of heat for his broadcast work over the MLB playoffs.

And he admitted in an interview that he was off his game. Oh shit. Pink eye. No, he says it's the same philosophy, the same approach, but I wasn't nailing it. It didn't have the same flow and rhythm to it. There were a few awkward moments. That's accountability right there. Oh, wow.

I'm a new house. More accountability than you'd ever hold on him. Yeah, that's a fact. Yeah, like you still won't say Bob Costas sucked after Bob Costas says he sucked. You're right. Exactly. So I prove my point.

Jake, what about this? You know, who else was in the news recently? Oh, another broadcaster trying to make his way back to the big time. Tom Brennan, Tom, Tom Brennan. Oh yeah, he's, he's trying to come back. Where do you stand on Tom Brennan coming back? Oh, Jake answer carefully. You have to have, you got to have a take on this, Jake.

We have a lot of listeners in San Francisco. There's a saying. Oh, is it about a city? What? Okay, no, go ahead. There's a saying that everyone deserves a second second chance. Okay. You almost said sex and second chance.

Wow. Should we get Joey in here for this? Yeah. Pat and Joey. Uh, I guess it depends on the gig. Okay, this is, I don't know. So for the Cardinals. Yeah, they already hired someone.

Oh, okay. I was going to say, yeah, didn't Chip carry? Uh, yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, fuck it. I don't care. Bring him back. He's, he's done his time.

Yeah. Like it's also like, don't even make an announcement about it. Well, it's just have him just be announcing like the Panthers versus Cardinals next year. Or I mean, it's three o'clock and we'll be like, all right, cool. It's, it's the Reds. If Cincinnati all got together and they're like, Hey, let's just agree to not publicize the fact that Tom Higgins back, just slip him back in. They could keep that a pretty good secret.

I think, right? How many people are tuning in out of market to watch Reds games? He's going to come to the Phillies. Why? Castellanos. Oh yeah. That's true. Oh, that would be great.

He should just follow wherever he goes. Yeah. And there's a deep drive up a guy's butthole. Um, all right. So yeah, I stand on just slip him back in. Jake, non-answer. Everyone deserves a second chance. Hitler.

What? But we've got to see that he's made those strides in the people that he's hurt. What do you need to see? Yeah. Does he have to, does he have a fucker guy? Is that, would that make you happy, Jake? I think he has to take it. I'm going to no comment here.

We've successfully put Jake in a very bad corner. All right. Okay. Let's get to our, uh, interview with Kevin Stefansky, head coach of the Cleveland Browns is brought to you by our friends at Omega accounting solutions. Attention, small business owners, you may be eligible to receive up to $26,000 per employee through the employee retention credit. You're a responsible business owner who continue to pay taxes, employee staff

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Thank you for coming on, coach. Do you want to do the hard question first or the easy question? Hard one. All right, let's rip it off. All right. So we sometimes like to just be honest with our guests, things that we've said. So I'm going to read a tweet to you from December 26, 2022. It says Browns versus Saints was a battle of who can be the dumber piece of

shit head coach. Somehow Dennis Allen came to his senses before Stefansky thoughts. Fair. Yeah. Fair. I mean, when you lose, everything's fair game. So fair. I'd agree.

Well, there are two losers in that game. Do you remember, do you remember how that played out? That was the game. That was the game where I think everybody that was watching it was just screaming at the TV, no matter who you rooting for, run the damn ball. Yeah. Why don't you run the damn ball? It was hard in that game to run the damn ball.

They, uh, they knew that was very hard to pass. So they were bringing safeties very close to that line of scrimmage. So you're thinking, all right, the winds died down. We got the wind with us. Let's try this. Um, obviously it didn't work. So then you work backwards. You're like, okay, what could we have done differently?

And yes, running the damn ball in some situations would have helped in that game. Yeah. So it must be difficult. Like you, I mean, it's great that you have these two unbelievable running backs, but do you ever find it, um, or football dummies? We are fans at our core and the one complaint every fan can always have is like, why don't you run the ball more? So is it difficult sometimes?

Are you ever like on the sideline like, fuck, they probably just want to run the ball, just run the ball. Like you can't get mad at me if I run the ball. No, I think we're unique in how having Nick Chubb and having that offensive line, I think the fun part for us is running the ball in the fourth quarter when you have that lead and you can go lean on people, which not many teams have that luxury, um, but there's certainly high leverage moments down there, the reds down there, the goal line third down.

Like you're always thinking about Nick Chubb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you open to putting on your play sheet next year? Just as a reminder, you know, Matt Nagy has BU. Uh, you should just have run the damn ball. I hear, yeah, that's definitely something that I'll hear.

Uh, you know, it's a refrain of our fans. Oftentimes I'm like score points. I want to write that on, on the call sheet. That works too. Any which way you can. What about this for analytics teams that run the ball more when at a higher rate in the NFL than teams that run the ball less? Yeah.

Is that the whole causation versus? Yeah, it is, but it's all, it's also true. Yeah. So, you know, some, I remember somebody said they're like, yeah, they said when Nick Chubb rushes the ball this many times, you win. I'm like, we should start the game with 24 straight Nick rushes. Yes. See what happens.

Yeah. We may be down by a couple of scores, but you know, yeah, yeah. He seems like a good guy. I always, when I, I watched the, the Mike Dups with Chubb, he doesn't really say anything. He's just like breathing hard and then occasionally be like, yeah, after like a good play, is he more talkative than that around you, around people that, that he knows. He's definitely more talkative when he's comfortable. Uh, Nick is a unique person.

I mean, he's, he's a man of few words. And I always tell people like he's not low maintenance. He's no maintenance. He shows up. He doesn't wear gloves. You know, he kind of is always what he's weren't supposed to wear out at practice. Uh, he's in stretch lines. Like whatever you ask him to do is just going to do it.

Uh, but he's got personality off the field. I just don't think he lets that, lets people in very easily. So you need, have you ever given the speech? Like if we had 53 Nick Chubbs, yes, yes, I get around town. I always get Nick Chubbs, my favorite player. I'm like, mine too. Yeah, exactly. Agreed.

All right. So since we're doing a little, uh, analytics, you did go to pen. No big deal. Ivy League, like what, like what, like the seventh Ivy League. That's not it's like Harvard. Southern most Ivy. Okay. But it's why you probably a head of Cornell.

That's it. Right. Yeah. Cornell doesn't count. Yeah. Dartmouth. Definitely a head of Dartmouth. Yeah.

Maybe a Dartmouth. Everybody always talks about HYP, Harvard, Yale, Princeton. Uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We're somewhere shortly thereafter. Okay.

All right. That's fair. Yeah. Columbia, I'd say is ahead of you. But either way Ivy League, nonetheless, uh, barely Ivy League safety school of Ivy League, uh, let me throw an analytics question to you. Okay. Uh, game situation.

Okay. It is your down eight points. Hmm. Okay. You have, uh, all three of your timeouts, three, all three of your timeouts. I think so. Two minimum. Okay.

So let's say two, three timeouts. Okay. Uh, there's about a minute and 48 seconds left. You are on fourth and goal on the eight yard line. You're down eight. Yeah. What do you do? Yeah.

You can kick the field goal and then hope that you get the on-site kick in the and, well, you have all three timeouts. You could kick the ball deep and use all three and hope you get the ball back. Uh, you're, you're going in. You're close to this ever happened in any games? No, no, no games, not in any like high profile playoff games or anything like that. No, no championship games. No NFC.

I think when you get low down, I do know this, as you get lower down in the red zone, like you got to take your shot a lot of times. Now that doesn't every time I don't believe in that. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not speaking to any, uh, example, but I will say this that inside when you get low, the, that eight yard line, it is difficult. There's not a lot of plays that, that you'll love to be able to hold on the ball, but, um, to your point, if you don't get it, now you can use your three

timeouts and maybe get the ball back. So when we are sitting on the couch and like, say it's first in, or say it's third in goal from the five and you get a five yard penalty. I always am like, good, more room. Is that right? No, it's not because it takes you longer. You're eligible players. It takes them longer to get into the end zone, but it's, uh, I'll tell you what,

those decisions on it's, sometimes you're like, dammit, if you do dammit, you don't write, um, ultimately I try, we try to bet on the players as much as you can and trust the guys. So do you have, how does that work for you specifically on a sideline? Do you have, uh, your offense coordinator in your ear? Do you have an analytics guy in your ear? We have, uh, we have a game management coach up, up in the booth, who's the way we work our fourth down decisions.

At least we use the red, yellow, green scale, which can we understand that one? That's like a stoplight. Yep. Got it. Yeah. So we'll oftentimes like say, Hey, you're green at three, meaning fourth and three, two or one, you're green. All these decisions you make during the week, cause you look at the game,

you look at the matchup, you look at the weather and you basically come out and say, okay, how many points do we need to score? How's our matchup on defense? Those type of things. Cause it's, it's hard. And now there's times when it's yellow and that's the true gut, but when, when it's pretty clear that you should go for it based on the information you have available to you, it speeds up your process.

Yeah. What about the, uh, timeout aspect of the game? Do you ever, I've always said that like coaches should play Madden in the off season, just to put yourself in those game situations. Honestly, so I grew up playing Madden. Um, I really believe our generation is maybe a little bit better at game management because we've done that because we know when you're down 10, you got, Hey, we're going to kick the field goal now and then I'm going to get the

on side. I got to get the seven later. Um, I do think all those games, I know it's silly, but I do think that all helps when it comes to game management. What about if you're down by 14 points, uh, what, two minutes left in the fourth quarter, you're going in, you score a touchdown. Do you go for two or do you kick an extra point? Uh, I think you go for two.

Yeah. That's the situation. Yes. Correct. The bad thing is you have somebody up in the booth that's helping you with all these decisions. So you don't have to make them all in the moment. Yeah.

Um, because as you guys know, like you make a decision when it works, you're really smart when it doesn't work. You're getting text messages that are getting tweets from big cat. Yes. Yeah. So wait, I, I, you said something there about Madden that reminded me your cosplaying as an older guy with your beard. Cause we, I remember we had that revelation.

We're like, wait, we're the same age as Kevin Sifansky. This isn't fair. Why do you, you, you are a young looking guy, except your beard is gray. Thank you. I think it's a compliment. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I think you're doing it on purpose.

So people are like, Oh, he's been around forever. Yeah. Maybe I should. So should I die at what is it? First of all, I tell my kids it's blonde. It's not gray. Okay. Yep.

That's smart. Should I go gray or should I, I think it's a good amount of gray. You don't want to end up like Hank, but I think that with, with your face, we, I think our theory was that you were dying your beard gray. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it is a compliment because we're saying basically you're way younger than maybe your beard looks like I'll get the reverse where I'll say I'm 38 and

people are like, I'd like that sucks. Yeah. For me, when it comes to the beard, it's like, uh, I don't like to shave. So when you just let it grow out and then you get to trim it every week or so. So it just kind of takes away a day of maintenance. If that makes sense. Yeah. Do you have a schedule in place?

Like, you know that you should trim it two days before game day because there's no unbelievable barber that I go to. Uh, can I give him a plug? Yeah, shout him out. Uh, Sean Gormley, he's the Irish barber, uh, Irish barber in Rocky River, uh, Ohio. He has a pub right next door to the barber shop that he also owns. So you can have a pint while you're getting your haircut. That's great.

Make sure we bleep all that. Um, yeah. No, that's, I mean, that sounds like the perfect barber shop. Yeah, you gotta go. You're just sitting there and drinking a beer and having, I like, I mean, sometimes I like to almost close my eyes and just take a little. Falsely. Yeah.

Take a little snooze. All right. So your career is fascinating to me because you were with the Vikings for a very long time and you survived three different head coaches. How like that is that you, you never really see that happen where guys are able to stay in the building. So you must have something to you, uh, that has people being like, I believe in him.

I want him to stick around. I don't want to drill him out dirt on the owner. Yeah, I don't know. Hey, you tell me if you want to say that, sure. You know, the first change I went from Brad Children's to Leslie Frazier, Leslie was the defensive coordinator. So he retained a bunch of guys and then coach Zim came in, uh, he, he had a lot of defensive coaches, maybe didn't have as many offensive coaches.

So I was very fortunate to interview with him and stick on as his tight end coach. I guess back then, um, there's no secret. I'm, I'm so lucky in that. And I, I got to stay in one place for whatever it was 15 years, um, worked with different offensive coordinators. Uh, most people, when you do that, you have to move like six times. You get the type of experience I had. So I was, I was the lucky one.

There's somebody that's the opposite that moved six times. I got to stay there. Yeah. So when you started, you, uh, I read a story that you met Brad Children's and you made such an impression on him that he was like, I'm going to hire this guy. Do you remember that meeting? Well, I was in, so I interned with the Eagles. So I get out of college.

I have no idea what I want to do. So I get into commercial real estate, which is where it really fascinating, uh, industry. Uh, and I very quickly realized like, I don't want to do this. I know I didn't want to do that. So just, I love football. I played in college. So the opportunity came to intern with the Eagles and I went up there in the

summer of 2005. This was the crazy TO summer. Remember the sit-ups and yeah, so I was up there for that. And yeah, I don't remember that I wasn't like one meeting with coach Children's, but at some point we must have crossed paths and, uh, when he got the job, he gave me a call to come join him. Yeah, that's incredible. And then you were in Minnesota when Brett Favre came to town.

I was, did you, were you involved in the recruiting process for Brett? Not the recruiting process, but, you know, I was in the quarterback room. That was my first year on the offensive staff was 2009. Here I am a fly on the wall. It was a Brett Favre, Tavares Jackson, Sage Rosenfels, Kevin Rogers was a quarterback coach. I got to sit back there, not say a word. I just watched it all and like Brett was incredible.

What struck me, which a bunch about him, but he had seen so much football and it was just like, he'd rattle off a look. He's like, yeah, they did that in, you know, whatever you're 96, we killed the bears. Sorry. Uh, when they brought that defense versus us, like he just had this, this Rolodex memory of things that he had seen through his career, but he was great to me for a young coach to watch how it was done at a high level was

unbelievable. So, uh, along those same lines, you were on the sideline for bounty gate. Yes, it was. Yeah. Were you at any point, like what's going on here? This is the, they're, they're trying to kill him. Well, I think back then and even now, like they're trying to hit every defense is trying to hit the quarterback.

I mean, Brett came out of that game. His ankle was black and blue this big. I think he would have played in the Super Bowl, but, uh, you weren't surprised that they were trying to hit the quarterback. I mean, that game, what I remember about that is. So I'm the, I'm the assistant quarterback coach or whatever my title was. And we went because it was so loud, we went to a wristband for the first time all season.

So I'm in charge of putting the wristband together. So I'm on the bus to the stadium, reading the call sheet, reading the wristband to just make sure it all matches up. Cause my biggest fear in my life, obviously is they call a wristband number two and it's a different place. So I was like, that entire game, I'm scared to death. How many times do you think we use that wristband in the game? Zero.

So all that stress that brought the gray out of my beard. Well, yeah, I mean, that was a stressful game. I also have a theory on that game. Adrian Peterson took a picture. I think it was either earlier in that day or the day before eating French fries on a bourbon street, and then he fumbled twice. Any, you're saying greasy. Yeah, I do.

I really do think that that matters. Yeah, man, you can tell me I'm dumb, but those things matter. Yeah, we turned the ball over too many times. I think we fumbled going in once. I think we maybe turned it over four times. We're, we're handing the ball to Percy Harvan a bunch. That was the crazy game. And then they changed the overtime rules, if you remember, cause we didn't touch

the ball. Yeah, they got the ball. They had a big third and one conversion that, that they got. And then they kicked that walk off field goal. Yeah. So, all right. So other famous Vikings moment, were you the one who puked when Teddy Bridgewater hurt his knee in practice?

No, but I was coaching the tight ends at the time and on that play, the tight end was coming across the formation. And my biggest fear was that the tight end clipped legs, heels with Teddy. And luckily, watch the tape. It was non-contact. Um, that was horrible. And what it, that what that resonated with me is like Teddy is one of the most amazing people, like his teammates don't like him.

They love him. They adore him. Um, to, so to see him in pain and to see how like just nasty that injury was, like that took a lot out of the team. Like, Zim brought coach Zim brought the team right inside. He's like, we can't practice after witnessing that. It would be impossible. Yeah.

The real tragedy was we were actually, uh, on a plane to come and interview Teddy and, and Zim. I don't know if you remember us. Is that true? Yeah. We were in the airport for the next three days. We were in like the bowels of your practice facility. They were like, how about Blair Walsh?

That was literally what happened. No one would look at us. It was, it felt like a funeral around there. It was bad. It was bad. I mean, because Teddy is the expectations were high. And again, just the person that Teddy is, you know, that's what made it so hard. You could tell that everyone just loves Teddy.

And we also, the most shocking thing on that trip is we walked in and Mike Zimmer's car was parked in front and he had like, I think it was probably nine or 10 bags of red band conservatively. We're just like, the entire center console was just overflowing with empty bags of red and camo on the side of the truck. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to go back a little bit further if we could back to your high

school days because you were, you were a very good football player. And was it St. Joseph's, St. Joe's prep, St. Joe's prep colleague of your guys. Rone, Rone, and Bob Lang, the bullet Bob Lang. Yeah. Yes.

And for a while, Joe judge. So Joe judge was on your team, right? Joe was, we were together freshman year and then he transferred because you beat him out for the starting position. Oh, hell yeah. No. That was a crazy time. It's amazing that, you know, we played against each other and when he was with

the Giants, I was, I was, you know, with Cleveland, it was amazing that here, two guys that were in the same class together. But Joe transferred. He had some stuff going on with his family and he had to transfer. Now Joe's older brother, Jim, and I played together. He was, I think, two years older than us, but I know that's the story out there, but I will debunk it. Okay.

I'll officially debunk. I'd like to continue with my theory that you beat him out and I'm just going to pretend that you didn't say any of that. So, so along those lines, uh, I had this conversation when I ran into you on vacation, we didn't vacation together, but I did run into you on vacation. The, um, you're from Philly, your, your family's Eagles fans. The NFC championship game. When the Eagles killed the Vikings.

Bring out all the best ones. Thanks. Yeah. Could you, could you tell, like some of your family members, like they, like, could you tell the ride or die people? Like, oh yeah, my cousin. He's definitely rooted for you guys. Especially my friends, especially with you and who's against you.

That was, uh, if you remember that game, I had a good buddy that was at that game, that was a Vikings fan and he was wearing all Vikings gear, which I told him not to, I know that city very well. Um, so sure enough, we go down the field and it's seven, nothing after the first drive and then all hell breaks loose. So I forget what the final score was, but he was in the bathroom in the third quarter. Okay. And he's got his Vikings gear on.

And he says, he can feel all the eyeballs on him and he turns around. He says, is it still seven, nothing? And that broke it up and they didn't kick his ass. That's pretty good. That's good to have somebody like that around. That's a tough city, man. I actually, if I were in your position, I would expect my family to root for the Eagles.

I really would. Yeah. I think you ever hear blood is thicker than water. Does that mean? Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, like it's the, it's the birds, I will say this, you know, that was a very hard loss as they all are.

I am happy for the, you know, my uncles, people that growing up that season ticket owners, like if it's not going to be you, I was happy for them that year. That's fair. So are you, are you superstitious at all? Not really. No, I don't think so. Okay. Cause that would explain for why you didn't sit out the second playoff game

after you had COVID against the Steelers. Cause I would have sat that out if I were you. Yeah. Um, we gave you credit for that, by the way. Are you, did, have you won a playoff game? Technically, yes. Oh, maybe no. Does that count?

If I, if I wasn't there, we need you credit and then a bunch of Steelers fans were like, he wasn't even on the sideline. I don't care. I know this, that it was the most surreal. Now it happened the next year, but it wasn't a playoff game. I missed the game. Uh, we were playing the Raiders at our place, but I can't describe you how weird it was, like out of body type stuff where you're watching your football

team play in a playoff game. You're in your basement, you're sick, your family's upstairs. It was just the strangest time. You actually had a quote after that that I love that you said that it was harder to watch the games than be in the game percent. 100%. Yeah. And that's, we know, we know, I get it.

You, I was pacing up and down. I have the call sheet in front of me, which I don't know why. And I'm trying to figure out what they're calling next. And when you, that's why, if you guys were on the sideline and you're calling plays, you have the power. Oh, yeah, you can make decisions. So it's the nervous energy is not there when you're in the moment. Call plays.

I was so nervous going up and down, just it was incredible. How did you prepare, prepare for that game as a, as a head coach? You're sick. How much can you actually put into place and how much do you trust your guys? Well, I mean, I was available to game plan all week. Uh, I ran the meetings, you know, from my basement because I wasn't sick. I meant, well, I had COVID, but I wasn't like ill. Um, but I was running the zoom meetings.

And then I did tell the coaches, you know, Mike pre for was our acting head coach in that game. I told Alex van Pelt called the plays. I'm like, do not think about me looking over your shoulder. You guys just be fearless to do what I know you're capable of doing. And they did. And so, uh, I mean, it was an incredible season for the Browns. I know that you have aspirations to take the Browns deeper in the playoffs,

but that specific season, getting to the playoffs, like, were you getting stopped at the grocery store and just everywhere? Like, thank you so much, coach. Well, I got, it was all before the season too. I can't tell you how many times I was reminded that the team hadn't been to the playoffs since, and I was like, I don't care. I wasn't here for any of that. Right.

You had to suffer. Like I didn't live that. Um, so that didn't, I didn't matter to me. And then going to playoffs, you know, you want to set your bar a little bit higher than just going to the playoffs. But I did. I remember it's going through the airport in Cleveland and one of the TSA agent comes up and says, uh, thank you for beating Pittsburgh.

That was our Super Bowl. Yeah. And I'm like, no, I want the Super Bowl to be your Super Bowl, but there is something about beating those Steelers. Yes, absolutely. It's nice. Were you, were you the coach of the team when, uh, Swagger tragically passed away? I don't know.

Is that on my record too? Is it? I think it is. I think it is. Fortunately, the mascot Swagger passed away. And then they had an open casket funeral for the dog and then they brought it to the fans. Yeah, it is actually true.

They live streamed it on the internet for some reason. Yes. These are the things that we care about as fans that, yeah, it's, it's sometimes stunning to like sit next to somebody that's in charge of the actual team and we talk about all this dumb shit. And they're like, I have no idea. No recollection that they didn't cross my desk and I'm like, why? Yeah.

How could you not think about this? Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. So after, um, I have two games for you that I want to know what your instant reaction was after. We'll do good and bad, good. Uh, the case, key time throw against the Saints, the Minneapolis miracle.

How long until you're like, wait, that actually just happened. So I'm up in the coach's booth. Pat Shermer is the offensive coordinator. I'm a quarterback coach. I'm up there and my immediate reaction was like, did he step out of bounds? Cause you're not watching the TV copy. You're, you're watching the field and I got people jumping on me, you know, headlocking me, jumping around and, and the whole time did he step out?

Did he step out? And then obviously you see that everybody's celebrating. That was totally surreal. Yeah. And you don't expect when you're all the way back there, where we were, you're kind of like, all right, let's just get in range to throw a Hail Mary. Like, okay, if we complete this one to Diggsy, we'll get out of bounds. We'll, we'll launch one into the end zone.

And then sure enough, he just, unfortunately, the kid made a tough plan, the boundary and Diggsy went right down the sideline. Yeah. That was insane. And then the bad, uh, the Jets game this year. Oh, after that was a percentage. Yeah. Are you like 99.9, I think it was actually, they went final, um, on the score.

I wish it this. So, so we, like, are you just, if I, if I were in your shoes, I'd just be sitting in the locker room, like, knowing I have to speak to the team and just being like, wait, what just happened? Like, that was a stomach punch. And yeah, same thing. I, you know, I remember getting back to my office and before I talked to the team, like you, what hurts the most about those moments is it's hard to

win in the NFL. It's hard. And when you have it and you can feel like you can just touch it and then you're like, I know that's going to come back at the end of the season. That was week two, I think. Um, and you're like, man, I know at the end of the year, we're going to want that one back, but you got to go talk to the team. And I think for me, I'm so, uh, aware of the team is looking at me, how I respond.

Now, what I'm proud of the team is we came back on Thursday night and won against Pittsburgh, so they did rebound. Uh, but those things, they stay with, like that will never leave me. Yeah. Like there were about 10 things that happened after Nick Chubb scored and a few things before Nick Chubb scored, um, that, that will never leave. That's, I mean, it's, it shows, uh, how mature and obviously being like a head coaches about being in those moments, everyone looking at you.

Because I think if I were in your shoes, I would have just walked out, found the guy who didn't recover the onside, like grab them and be like, why? And then just start crying and go into a puddle. Yeah, there was a part of me that wanted to do that. Um, but I just, I know even how you walk in the building on Monday after your loss or a win, everybody as a football coach, you get so many opportunities to stand in front of your team and so much of it is messaging and how you want the guys to feel about a game.

And even after a win, like you got to sometimes remind them, you know, that you haven't figured it all out. So I'm very aware of, of my impact that I have. So after a bad loss of that, are you, when you address the team, are you doing it to let them see your emotion? Are you doing it to try to give them something positive to build on? What's, what goes, cause you have to like have some sort of plan. You can't just go up in front of them and be like, that's suck.

I'm sorry. Although I might try that. That's what I would do. Yeah. I mean, honestly, you, everything I do, at least I just, I'm, try to be authentic about it and that I've been around different coaches or whatever that maybe act, you know, it's not real or, and this is, you know, over the course of time where you just want to be yourself.

Cause I think players see right through that. So when, when stuff hurts, like you got to let them see that it hurts. And when you're excited, you let them see that now, you know, in the moment, in games, I try to be very even keel just because I feel like you're making decisions every 30 seconds. And when I, if I start to lose my mind, I don't feel like I can make those decisions for the team. So I try to keep my emotions under wraps.

Is there an art to press, like pressuring the officials to get in there early about certain things? Do you know which guys you can push, which ones you can pull on? They have a tough job. Those officials, um, good answer. Thank you. I try to, I try to be respectful, um, cause I know they have a job to do and then I, they are human.

So if there's a play that doesn't go your way, you do want to let them know about that because there's a chance you get, I know officials would tell you, there's no such thing as a makeup call, but they're human. Yeah. So if you let them know how upset you are, there's a chance if there's a 50, 50, uh, ruling, maybe it goes your way. Yeah. No, that's fair.

Um, what's the dumbest play you've ever created that either did or didn't work? I mean, it happens every week where you get on the board and you start putting stuff up and you're like, this is that margin of smart to dumb is so fine. And like, for instance, Andy Reed, first bout Hall of Fame coach, Super Bowl winner, unbelievable, like the stuff he does in the red zone that like, I can't do that. You know, you have to win us.

You have to have a ring before you, yeah, yeah, around the rosy. Yeah, candy. Absolutely as fun as fun as that is for the players for us, when it comes to trick plays, that's always like that fine line. Like if this doesn't work, I'm going to boo myself. Yeah. And there was a game this year playing the Bengals on, uh, Sunday night or Monday night, uh, maybe it's, yeah, Sunday, I think Monday one.

It was Halloween. Yeah, Monday night. Monday night Halloween. And we had a pass that Amari Cooper threw and it was, we hand the ball to Nick Chubb, he pitched it to Amari Amari is rolling out. We had a receiver running down the boundary. Amari, their linebacker sniffed it out, is getting ready to hit Amari. Amari's trying to throw it away and it goes directly to Von Bell, like between

the two and the four, like perfect interception right to him. And I'm like, the boost, I wanted to boo myself, but I probably should have known, we try to give those trick plays names and we called that Michael Myers. Oh, I like that. Maybe don't name plays after like serial killers. Yeah, that got you. That was a lesson learned. Yeah, you do own Joe Burrell though.

We didn't beat them second time this year. Not the second time, but, but historically you've, you've owned those. Is that, is that just like a matchup thing where you guys feel like you match up well against the Bengals? I would tell you this, our division is very, very tough. I mean, you got, and I think it's great players. I think it's really good coaches, whether it's Cincinnati, you know, going to the FC championship game back to back years, what Mike T.

does in Pittsburgh, Coach Harbs in Baltimore. I like that, Mike T. Coach Harbs. That's a tough division. So there's no tough, there's no easy game in our division. I think whoever comes out of the division, whether it's one or two, sometimes three, you know, you're going to get a good team because you're battle testing.

Yeah, speaking of the trick plays, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I haven't shared this with any other NFL head coaches, but I'm pretty sure you're going to tell them this. Yeah. No, we've talked about it. I've never heard it either. So, uh, I think I know what the future of offensive football is going to be. The future wrinkle is going to be designed downfield laterals.

You see the chiefs do it occasionally, but when it's executed right, when it's taught correctly, it can turn a seven yard gain into a 40 yard gain very, very easily. Obviously there's fumble issues that could. Hey, there's risk and reward. There's a risk, but if you watch how like, for instance, the Fijian national rugby team plays, they're so good at getting tackled, positioning their arms around the tackler, knowing where their guy is offloading to that guy.

And it's an explosive play. And I feel like the next head coach that understands how to incorporate that into football is going to just revolutionize the NFL. Okay. Uh, challenge accepted. Yeah. So the hook and lateral has been in the game for a long time. What you're saying is like Kelsey in the playoffs, the deeper the ability to get

the defense to converge and pitch it. Yeah. You, you've drawn the defenders. So you bring in three guys that are trying to tackle you. There's a guy on his hip. They're not keying on that guy at all. If you're able to pitch it to him real quick, if you coach it, when you pitch it to the next ball care, is he allowed to pitch it?

Yeah. All right. So that's what the Patriots did against the Raiders. Yeah, it worked out really well. So don't do that. That's not what I'm talking about. Actually, the first offload on that play was good. Then don't throw it all the way across the field afterwards.

I'll tell you, option football, I mean, we've seen in the Super Bowl, I mean, Kansas City has run the option over time with what Philly did with Jalen Hertz with the quarterback running game. I do think there's probably a place in the game for the next evolution. Maybe this is it. Yeah. Just, just think about it. Yeah.

Think about it. I've thought about it. It's in. Yeah. Nice, nice. Cool. I got another one for you. Ready for this?

I'm ready. Fourth down, fake punt. I'm sure you have a fake punt in your plan. You get the first down, you fake punt again. They don't expect you to get back in the little punt for me. They don't know what to do. Interesting. They think they're like, yeah, they're like, wait, what's going on?

We just, this just happened. Are they punting again? You probably get them to burn a time out. Yeah. Right. At least at bare minimum. You keep everyone same package on the field. Fake punt, boom, line it back up, fake punt again.

Or you do the punt on third down, which buddy, Ryan's famous for. Yeah, yeah. Smart. Yeah. Also, okay, I'm really good ideas. I'm not, I'm taking mental notes. All right. It's fourth and one.

Here's another good one. We're close to getting a ring if the Browns are fourth. You guys are, if we win, when we win the Super Bowl, you guys are getting rings. Oh my, yeah. You just said, you said that. Thank you. Sean McVay made this promise to us and he didn't, he welched on it. So your beard's way better than I promised.

All right. Fourth down, fourth and one, your quarterbacks under center. It looks like he's just going to run the clock. He's trying to get them to jump, right? So he does all the hard count, all that stuff. Then he comes up from under center and he's like, ah, it's not going to work. Then he goes right back under center and you snap it to him. Interesting.

The fake, fake snap. I like that. You've also seen where you've seen in the shotgun, you'll see some teams, but the quarterback, my homes will kind of look to the sideline, go thumbs up and they'll sneak somebody in to run, is it a cousin of that play? Yeah. Similar to that. Like fainting confusion, acting like you don't know what you're doing.

Shanahan actually did something similar with Manziel when he was on the Browns, where he was like screaming at Manziel, walks over the sideline. They pretend to get into an argument. Then he runs down the field. And it actually got flagged, but it ran, it worked perfectly. These trick plays, I'm telling you, it's, we call it shit house or castle. Yeah. There's no in between.

Yeah. I mean, this is what, like, I, the one thing I loved about Bill Cowers, every time he got across the 50, he would just do a trick play on the grass. He's just like, well, here it is. It's the logo. So when you get around the logo, the defense, then the defense is aware of that too, so that they're trying to protect those shots. Yeah.

I like it. Uh, serious question about, uh, growing up, your dad was the senior vice president for the Nets for a while. So did, were you like around that team with Jason Kidd, all those guys? So that was, I was in late high school. Like college, uh, when he was doing that, but I went, I drove up the turnpike. I went to a bunch of those games. Jay Kidd, Kara Kiddles, Kenyon Martin.

Um, Keith Van Horn, Keith Van Horn was on that team. They went to the finals two years in a row. They went, I think it was LA and the spurs, you know, tough teams that you're running to, but I went to make it. Sounds like you're making an excuse for your dad. I am. Okay. Uh, but Jason Kidd remains one of my favorite players.

I mean, uh, to watch, talk about like changing a franchise when he showed up at the Nets back then that just changed everything about their friends. So how does that, I mean, like it's, it's very interesting to see your dad was his high level NBA guy and you're an NFL guy head coach. Like, is he a big football fan and you're a big basketball fan or was it? Yeah. I mean, he grew up, he was a basketball player. He played in college, uh, so he was good at that.

I was not very good at basketball. I mean, I played it growing up, but he kind of did his thing. I'm doing my thing. I think it's helpful for me to have somebody that has been in the sports business that understands like wins and losses and gets that part. But, uh, it's, it's, it's not like I got into football because he was in basketball, right? It's just fascinating.

You don't see, I mean, two very successful and different professions. He also thinks he could be a NFL scout. Like he tells me all the time about players and watch out for this guy. I'm like, what do you know about football? Does that get annoying? Do you having not necessarily your dad, but just people coming up to you and telling you, Hey, here's how you should manage, you know, it's called free advice. Yeah.

I had a lot of free advice, which some of it's good. I think I gave you some free advice last year at the combine. I think I told you to trade for Kirk Cousins. Yeah. We, that was, that was on me. My mistake. Kurt, we've had a long history with Kirk Cousins. He's a very nice guy.

I love Kirk. Got to coach Kirk for a few years, won some football games with him. Um, he's a good player. Yeah. What about his grilling technique? Yeah. I can't speak to that. I can speak to his quarterback technique, but I'll let him speak for

himself on the grilling tech. Yeah. We're probably too hard on Kirk because he is, he's a, he's better than, uh, I mean, everyone always like the bears. He would be the best quarterback in bears history. That's a fact. Do you want him back? Honestly, yes.

Like that's why I hate him so much because if you look at the stats and what he's done and what he did in DC compared to everything else that we've had since then, yeah, Kirk Cousins, that's my super bowl was having Kirk Cousins go 500 over the course of like a three year span for me. Yeah. I was, I was, so I was coordinated for Kirk for really a year and change. Uh, and, and I, you know, became a head coach out of it. There's so many guys.

Sean was with Sean McVeigh was with Kirk. So Kirk's been with some really good coaches. So I, I have to tell you, I'm indebted to him. Yeah. All right. So I want to do, I want to get a headline that we can, all the Cleveland radio stations can run, uh, with the Sean this year and you're running attack. Are you going to let it fly or are you going to run the ball?

Can we do both? No, you got to pick one or the other. Yeah. I think offensive football, we want to do both. Comp out, you got to let it fly or run the ball minus grade. I'll let it fly and then run the ball. Okay. Oh, in one game and then flip it.

That's a little interesting. You're not going to establish the run first. That's a fallacy. You don't have to establish a run to throw it. Okay. Well, what about this? How about if you let that thing fly and then you run the damn ball? How about if I put that on the call sheet?

Okay. I like that. What's your prediction? Everyone's giving us a prediction this year. Your prediction for the Browns. Everyone, literally everyone. Um, can we go undefeated? Is that a prediction?

Yes. That's what you should aim to. I mean, you try to win every game. So yeah. All right. So why is it a fallacy to run? I think play action has been proven that you don't need to have a good run attack or be running the ball to get the linebackers to side.

You've been reading, so you can't break these from like our fandom and our brains. Like you have to establish a run. You've been reading the nerd website. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's a lot of good data behind it. I mean, for us, honestly, going back to just our players, like we're fortunate to have Nick, we got David N'Joku, who I think is as good at tight end

as there, as there is in league. So to be able to be balanced, I think is ultimately the best thing you can be. And when it comes to offensive football. Okay. So what's more important, if you could pick one, you have to pick one, protect the quarterback or heat up the quarterback. Oh, probably heat up the quarterback. Yeah.

That's the right answer. That's the way that you win Super Bowls. We have Miles Garrett. Yeah. That's always going to be a big part of what we do. Yeah. Go ahead. I was, I was going to kind of dovetail off that.

How important would you say it is to set the tone? That's some coach speak right there. Yeah. Setting the tone is always good. You get to set the tone on kickoff. If you're, you know, first play of the game is either kickoff, kickoff, return. You get to set the tone. If you've ever heard the tip of the spear.

Yes. Yeah. The team's tip of the spear. Yes. I liked that. If you had to pick between setting the edge and flying around out there on defense. Well, I think you need to set the edge so that you can fly around out there. Okay.

Freeze up space. Yeah. So when you got the job in Cleveland, did you have a conversation with Miles? You're like, Hey, don't take off your helmet and bash anyone? You know, fortunately, a lot of that was being figured out when I got there. Right. I will say this about Miles. He's a very, very smart person.

He's very conscientious. I know he learned from that. Have you guys had miles on the show? No, we haven't. He's, uh, he's one of the more interesting people I've ever been around. Yeah. And he's really good at football. And he's really good at football.

Yeah. Um, and he hasn't hit anybody in the head with a helmet in three years. And he won't. Yeah. Well, did you tell him that though? Because that seems like a situation where he like, you didn't tell me. I don't think I needed to tell him. I told him to retire as a basketball player, uh, which he took that, you know,

and, and he can play in some of those all star games. Yeah. That's kind of a compliment to him though. Like you watch him play basketball and you're like, this guy is just so freakishly athletic. I'm worried he's going to hurt himself or something. Well, when he was, there was some video of him playing basketball, like in a pick up game, he was playing against guys that look like us.

No offense. Yeah. I wasn't very concerned that he was going to get hurt in that game. Uh huh. But Miles, it's very strange to think about. He's from the same species. Yeah. So he's physically how he plays, what he looks like, the, the speed at

which he goes, the way he bends, um, he was, he might be an alien. You ever ask him to just put a shirt on? Okay, man, you're making everybody look bad here. Everybody, just be you. You know, that's a David and Joe Cortite and also likes to go out to pregame with that, whatever gets you ready to play that game. So we have, we've been giving you a lot of free advice. We've got some more, uh, the elf in the midfield.

Brownie cursed. No good. Nope. We've, we snuffed that out right away. Game one. We were like, that's a bad sign. You lost with brownie game one. I don't think you bring him back.

Yep. Yeah. Well, I got it. Who should, what else should I bring back to corporate? Uh, that drunk guy that's in the stands, that's almost passing out. Yes. That guy should have a job. Yes.

Yes. He should be director morale. We, our fans are unbelievable. Have you guys been in the dog pound before? I've been in the Muni lot for, this was like 2014. I want to say it was Johnny Manziel's first year, whenever that was, I went to a pre-game or excuse me, a pre-season game. I went to the Muni lot to tailgate and it was beyond anything that I've ever seen

at an NFL regular season game there. So I've heard, I haven't been there. Um, I don't know that I can ever go to the Muni lot. Like even after a win, I'd be afraid to, if you get, well, you do make it out. Yeah. I mean, they are one, there's like certain fan bases in the NFL where you're like, those fans, like I root for them more than even like, you know what I mean?

Like I want them to be happy. Totally. No, we, we have a passionate group, Northeast Ohio, Cleveland, it's a small town and, you know, some of these towns that, that deserve a winner. Like you want that so badly for them. And, you know, going back to the Eagles, uh, my dad was, he was down in Florida, was wearing a Brown's hat and he was talking, a bunch of people were coming up and he's like, these Brown's fans are the Eagles fans before we won

the Super Bowl. Yeah. Like that, that is us. Yeah. So that's, that's your mission. They will build a statue of you. If you're a Super Bowl, I would, I'll take the ring. You're getting a statue.

Well, we'll take a ring. Actually, no, can we get a statue? Yes. Sure. Yes. Why not? Done. Um, all right.

Well, I had one last question. This has been awesome. Uh, it's a rowback question, RHO, BACK.com promo code. Take PFT is wearing it right now. Q zips, polos, joggers, everything. You golf? I do. All right.

Not well, but yeah, but rowbacks the best. Um, so go check it out right now, rowback.com promo code. Take, uh, my last question. So when I did run into you on vacation, I don't know if you remember this moment. I want to apologize, but also say I'm not sorry. Um, I met your daughter, uh, you, her name's Stella, my dog's name. And I was like, she's, and you said, Oh yeah, we're thinking

about getting a dog. And I said to your daughter, actually your dad told me that he's getting you a dog for Christmas. Um, so my daughter Juliet is, oh, that's not your, not Stella. Wait, well, how did Stella come up? What were you drinking? I don't know. All right.

So I'm, I'm an idiot. Maybe we just start talking about dogs. Yes, we did. Okay. Yes. So I got that wrong. When I did promise her a dog from you. So when the dog doesn't come Christmas morning, call you, you know,

that's your fault. It was one of those moments that like I'm always in content mode. And I, I like forgot I was on vacation, like just chill out for a second. So when she said she wanted a dog, I was like, you're getting one. Thank you. I think you just be like, don't, don't listen to that crazy drunk man. Yeah. I thought you were gonna have to undo that experience.

Well, I want to double down. So if she's watching this right now, you're getting two dogs. You're getting two dogs for Christmas. What kind? Any, any, what do you want? I think you got, if you're getting two, you got to go big and small, right? Okay. Yeah.

So we'll get like a bull mastiff and a pug. Yeah. There we go. That's a very funny combination. The real question here is why aren't you getting your kids a dog? So my oldest, this is like weird to say this because I don't want to, he's allergic. So am I making him feel bad? Well, there's really, I know I do a golden doodle or a

apparently those still have dander. That's still. So how, how long do I not know my daughter's name? Yeah. Yeah. No, I fuck my son to be sick. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I fuck this whole thing. You're going to kill his son. Big I just remember promising a dog and being like walking away from the dinner. This is going to be a hard conversation with the kids. Yeah. Get him to why did I do that? Why?

That was really stupid of me. Why did I promise get him a reptile of some sort. Maybe a snake. Okay. That will really mess him up actually. Probably don't be a snake guy. Yeah. No, don't do turtles like Rocky.

Turtle. Okay. I like that. So no dog. Do you want my son to be sick? I mean, do you have no heart? Yeah. They have allergy pills for your daughter.

She wants a dog. She does. And she usually, when she asks, she usually gets what she wants. Okay. So let's get her. So we're getting you a dog. Maybe a dog. Sorry.

Sorry, son. Sorry, son. Well, maybe can we wait? What? Yeah. When you go to college. Yeah. Easy way to sort this out.

Which one's your favorite? My daughter. Okay. Right. It's not a dog. We're doing anybody who has boys and girls. Yes. That's the easiest one.

Yeah, me as well. But yes. Yes. Dog. It's happening. All right. Done. We've got it.

And I actually think this dog will bring you success, uh, coaching the Browns. These dogs. These dogs. Yes, exactly. Like you can't be the Browns head coach and not have a dog. I'm not going to disagree with that. That's right. 17 and 0 next year.

You said that. Somebody said that. I think every, let me ask you this. You said you were going to win every game. Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, yeah. What do guarantees mean in our profession? That's true.

It gives us a lot to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guaranteed 17 and 0. Sure. Well, no, in preseason, you said win every game.

Yeah. That'd be great too. What's that? And then, oh, we're playing an extra. We're playing in the Hall of Fame game. So we, oh, we're preseason games. Interesting. Oh, yeah.

Joe Thomas. Yes. Yes. Would you rather go undefeated in the regular season or go 10 and 7 and lose the Super Bowl? In the, in the undefeated, do I, do we win the Super Bowl in that one? No. In that scenario? No.

No. In either scenario, when you just did two losing the Super Bowls. Yeah. Well, the first one would be you lose in the first round of the playoffs, but you're undefeated in regular season. These are tough ones. Man. I don't, it's hard to think about not two scenarios not winning the Super Bowl, because

then it doesn't, whatever the, it doesn't matter. You're talking to two wrong guys because we've had a hypothetical going that we would rather have in the next 50 years, lose 15 Super Bowls, then win one and miss the playoffs. All 49 other years. Yeah. We'd love to lose the Super Bowl. Love that. The Bears and Commanders are not good.

We'd love to lose the Super Bowl. That'd be sick. That one team, that's what I was saying to somebody earlier, like what one of the things that motivates me is just jealousy. Yeah. I'm just jealous. I'm jealous of the guys that have won. I'm jealous of them.

You know, they've had the parade. They got the ring. Like I'm very jealous. Like I want that so badly. Yeah. No, I don't know. I mean, 15, 15 NFC championship games. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Like things that I want. Yeah. Sure. I'd love a Super Bowl. I'd love to have seven unicorns and have rainbow shoot out of my ass. But like, let's be realistic here. I'm not ever going to win a Super Bowl.

Right. So let's be realistic in your 15 Super, you know, Super Bowl losses championship game. Yeah. Those are some fun times. That's awesome. Yeah. I think you, you might be too competitive to be a head coach. I haven't heard that one yet.

You got to want it a little less like us. Yeah. I mean, there's the Pete Carroll school of thought compete in everything you do. Yeah. I think that's part of what we do as coaches and players. Yeah. So we're in the school of thought to compete at nothing. That way you can't fail.

Yeah. Or only competing stuff that you know ahead of time, you're going to win. Right. Is the NFL rigged? I've heard that. I haven't read the script for this season. Yeah. I'm excited to read it though.

All right. Well, Kevin, thank you so much. Sorry about getting a dog, two dogs for your family. Yeah. But you're going to have to do it. And thinking that your daughter's name was Stella. Yeah. Which is an awesome name.

We were taking a dinner. So that was my mistake. Yeah. Yeah. But that's my fault. So yeah, two dogs, 17 and 0. Thank you so much. Speak it into existence.

Yes. Yes. Good luck this season. Yes. Next time we sit down, it'll be only to Sean questions. I'm ready. Thanks guys. Brown tag coach, Kevin Stefanski was brought to you by our great friends

over over at Topgolf. I love Topgolf. If you're listening to this, you've probably played a Topgolf or you've seen one, Topgolf is the best. I'm working on my golf game right now. There's no better place to go than Topgolf. They got the targets out there. They've got delicious food.

You know, it's great going to Topgolf at night. Your balls seem to fly way further at night. It's like kicking a field goal. It's awesome. Just driving a golf ball into oblivion off the top deck at Topgolf. No better feeling in the entire world. And if you don't golf, it doesn't matter. Everyone can play a Topgolf, even if no one can golf.

That's very true. You go out there, it's gamified. You aim at the targets. You have a great time. Drink a couple of ice cold Coors lights while you're out at Topgolf, hitting some balls, get better at your game too. You can practice a Topgolf. It's the only place that you can play around and then order another or hit a

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We've got guys on chicks. Henry, get us going next Wednesday. We'll do a March Madness etiquette FAQs, gambling FAQs. That'll be fun. Get us ready for the also schedule your vasectomies for the first week in March. Buddy, if you haven't, I get one every year, it's late. Actually, this year, I'm getting an vasectomy, but every year, all guys know. Time to get that shit snipped.

They announced the broadcast teams, by the way, PFC, your guy, one and done on the desk, Rex Chapman. Oh, damn, what a shame. My guy, you're trying to put Lib of the Year on me now. I just got this, my guy. Yeah, it was very funny seeing him on the desk last year because he was, he was not fitting in at all. Okay, Hank.

Hi boys. I recently hooked up with a guy who's smoking hot. This is a dude. It was casual and we haven't really spoken since, which I'm cool with, but I'm invited to a friend's birthday party where my ex will be and I want him to make him jealous. Should I text this new hot guy and invite him to come? Or will he think I'm obsessed with him and clingy?

What do you guys think? Fake. Hi, hey boys. When my boyfriend, when my boyfriend showers, he doesn't wash his entire body, just his hair, junk and chest. When I asked him about it, he said that the runoff took care of everything else. Yeah, yeah. His common practice for guys is weird though.

If he doesn't do his armpits, then that's, that's true. I would add armpits don't work. What do you mean? Whoa, what? Oh, let's unpack that. You don't wash your armpits, Hank? That's the only one that was missing. If you have BO and you use soap from the shower, yeah, it does not work.

What are you talking about? You wash your armpits and then you put deodorant on afterwards. Right. If you don't put on deodorants after you still smell like shit. Correct, but you start sweating, but you get all, you get all the stinky sweat off your armpits when you wash them. And please tell me you wash your armpits in the shower. Of course I wash my armpits in the shower.

Whether it's not real, armpits don't work. The Henry Lockwood method. What do you use under your armpits? Deodorant, but I'm saying, no, but soup. When you do soup, hotel soup. Yeah. That doesn't get it done in your armpits. Not if you don't use deodorant.

You'll smell good for an hour or two. Like, all right, yeah, you do need, let me talk this out. Let me, let me, let me expand. Let me expand, let me expand, let me expand, let me expand. That's actually, you know what, yeah, go off, go off. And we actually do have to do PFT's gift to you as well. So that might just be guys on chicks. Hear me out.

You have hair, right? Yes, we're all there for the time being. If your hair smells, let's call it normal. Okay, baseline, no smell, no smelliness. It's not clean. It's not dirty. You put in shampoo afterwards. It smells nice.

Your hair smells nice like that shampoo. When you wash your hair, it smells nice. Okay. When you wash your armpit hair, the smell does not stick. It doesn't do anything. Because you'll sweat. Are you using wood, barstool, brandon? Wait, no, but it's because you sweat.

No, I'm saying take a shower. After you smell your armpits, it doesn't stick? No, take a shower, dry off, smell your armpits five minutes later. If I may. It's not smelling the way your hair smells with shampoo. If I may, when you wash your armpits, you're not shampooing your armpit hair. The stink comes from your sweat glands that are in your armpit. You are shampooing your armpit hair.

But you don't have sweat glands in your hair. Yeah, you sweat from your armpit. And so that's why you wash your armpit hair. When you say you're not shampooing your armpit hair, yes you are. He might be right. You shampoo your armpit hair? But that's not where the stink is coming from. Hink might be right.

The stink is coming from the sweat. But when you stink from the conversation, this is not about stink. This is about, if you, again, use shampoo in your hair and you will be able to smell the shampoo in your hair later in the day. Is that because maybe there's more of it? Use shampoo in your armpits. You will not be able to smell that. Because one, there's more hair on your head and two, because your sweat glands

in your armpits make it stink. You are, the stink is breaking your brain. Remove stink from the conversation. You're talking about. There was no stink, PFT. Forget about the stink. I'm saying, you need deodorant to make your armpits smell good. You don't need deodorant to make your hair smell good.

You just need the soap. Why can't you use that same soap and to make sure your armpit hair smell good? I, because, because you sweat through your armpits. There's a sweat plant. Remove the sweat from the conversation. You're, you can't have this conversation. You're asking me why it's different on your head than your armpit. If you shower, you shampoo your armpits, you get out, you dry off.

No sweat involved. You don't break a sweat. You go back in the bathroom 10 minutes later, smell your armpits. It smells like nothing. You know what's happening right now, big cat? I'm, I'm JJ Redick and he's Kendrick Perkins. Well, I was going to say that I'm trying to explain it to you, but I'm realizing that you are sounding more right than I am.

I was going to say the big, the biggest winner of this entire debate is Billy because now the dumbest thing that we talked about on the show is not his presentation. Congrats, Billy. You're, I'm actually now getting into a four, 4.0 balls. Hell yeah. I think I's an 80. You're, there's less armpit hair.

And so when you shampoo your armpit hair, there's not as much hair for it to retain the good smell of the shampoo. Then why can it retain deodorant? Because the deodorant sticks to your pores and clogs up your pores. I personally don't have the answer for you, Hank. So I'm going to say you're right. This is actually, this will prove it. Hank, girls who shave their armpits still can get B.O.

Remove the stink from the conversation. I don't know how to remove the stink from a conversation about, wait, wait, wait, wait, I don't know how to remove the stink from a conversation about why things smell bad. I never said smell bad. Help me. It just doesn't help me. It doesn't smell good.

There was stink. So scent. You're talking about scent. That's adjacent to stink. You're talking about pot, the positive version of stink. Hank talking about fragrance, fragrance, the fragrance on your head. Shampoo it smells good hair in your armpits. Shampoo it doesn't smell because there's maybe like, I don't know,

one percent of the hair in your armpits as there is on the top of your head. I'm, I'm with you. I'm with Hank. He can't. Oh, that was me. No, I mean, I already brought it up. So Hank's just Hank, I'm with you. Be creative.

I don't have an answer to that. It's okay to not have an answer. I appreciate your open mind. The armpits, but you did call it stupid. So, well, you know, this is, it's very, it is very dumb. This might be the dumbest thing you've ever said. No, I was saying the debate is dumb. Not what you said, because I don't have an answer to what you said.

Are straws a whole? That was a pretty dumb one. Okay. Two holes. Hey, do you want to do another guys in checks or should we just do the present? Let's do the present. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to last chance. Hey, Billy, Billy, what you saw right there, mean difference between Hank and you. Hank put down the shovel. Yeah. Well, yeah.

I mean, I'm right, but it's like, I'm not saying you're right. I'm not saying you're wrong. I don't, I, you have me confused that it's, it's the chapstick thing, which people, like it's like the same thing. Like they design these products so that you have to buy other products. Yeah. That's a fact. There should theoretically be a soap that you can use that is also deodorant.

Don't use five in one. Like I've been in places where I forget my deodorant and I'm like, I'll use shampoo soup and it'll make my armpit smell good and it doesn't work. Yeah. Cause you sweat, but remove the stink. I got it. Mm-hmm. PFT.

What did you get Hank? No, but like, sorry, I got, I got Hank a bunch of right guard. You need something to open the huge. Did you open it already $200 without seeing it? So will you take the deal? So this bill, let's set the table here. Um, I lost a bowling match against Hank by a considerable amount. Considerable.

And then I tried to double down on it because the bet was that I would buy Hank a hundred dollars worth of Southwestern merchandise in Arizona. I lost the second game, double down so that now that we're up to $200 worth. Oh, shit. Spilled water all over everything. I, I got my report. I have something. Oh, there's dipping it.

Give us a, give us a towel. It's not dip. There is in it. That was, um, if he's not messy, just so we know. I'm not, uh, so happens all the time. It's, it's a giant box. This is the first time I've spilled anything in here. Um, so it's actually $400 worth of Southwest merchandise.

I'd like you to open it. You also get $200 that you can take from Billy right now. Only if I get it. Yeah. You can either get what's in the box or $200. Okay. Thanks. Coming over to open it.

Careful. I think you need a screwdriver here. Yeah, it came in a shady wooden box. So we're going to have to break the box. What's in the box? It's fragile. Yeah, you see the screws? That's, he's untapping it.

Be sure to watch this on YouTube. Yeah. Actually, um, Billy, can you run into the control room and get their hammer? Yeah. They have a hammer in there. Oh yeah. Where's the axe? Axe it open, Billy.

I took it away from Billy. This is your big moment, Billy. I didn't think he was prepared to handle an axe. Yeah, that's not going to work. It was a nice try. Hey Hank, what do you think it is, Hank? Throw it. There we go.

I'm a man. Fucking just broke that box. Hope everyone's watching on YouTube. What? Don't get splinters. Oh, shut up, Jake. Yeah, we're done, man. Well, I just opened it.

We already got Billy. I'm in a pussy. The axe is no longer necessary. I did it with my hands, Billy. I wish you had seen how strong I looked. Watch on the YouTube. All right. He's unwrapping it.

Yeah, I think this is the gift. It's a giant Tildo. Oh, wow. What is it? It's always bad when, oh. I love these bubbles. Oh, look at this, Hank. No, it doesn't.

It's all it's already assembled. Oh my God, Hank. This is beautiful. It's a what some kind of skull. Oh, wow. It's a cow skull. And then wait, Hank, that does. You need to put the horns on.

That's fucking sick, Hank. How many was that? What do you think, Hank? Good job not taking Billy's $200. Billy, did you know what it was? Yeah. Oh, that's bullshit. Billy really wanted it.

Hank. This is sick. You actually like it? Yeah, I'm glad. Some nice home decor. Would you have taken $200 for it? No, I like this. What if that is the like thing that makes him good at the lottery ball?

It's actually haunted. Okay, good. Because I was gonna say we're gonna. What is it? If Hank, Hank, if you get the lottery ball this time, I'm smashing that deal. No. Yes. You have to buy it for me.

For $200? $400. $200. No, no deal. Okay. You're not gonna get it anyway. Okay. You want to say anything about it?

It is a skull. It's got some cool design, some some blue stones. Very Arizona vibe. Turquoise. He did a great job with the bet and now I will Venmo you. $1300. $1300. Okay.

Well, the commander's bet. The commander's bet. Yeah. Yeah. That's gonna happen. That's gonna hit. That's just future money. That's money in the bank.

I might take a loan out on that. That's a great investment. Okay. Great show, everyone. We did everything in this show. I feel like it took many twists and turns. Very fun show. Hank, have you ever gotten the lottery ball?

No. Okay. Numbers? $6,900. $17,000. $17,000. Oh, you're back on $17,000. What would you guess?

Are you deaf? What'd you guess last week on Monday? I forget. What do you guess? I don't know. I don't record guesses. Anyone remember? Damn.

I'm gonna go with... Come on. Tell me what you guessed. I'm gonna list it back. $15,000. I think it was $15,000. Was it $15,000? Was that last year?

For Anthony Richardson? Oh. Was it? Yeah. He's plus $350,000, boy. All right. I'll go $15,000. I'm gonna go $20,000.

$77,000. I'll never forgive you PFT if he gets it on this one. $85,000. What you saying? Damn. Not even... The more things change, the more they stay the same, right? I'm trying to name this thing.

Breaking moves. If they're never gonna get it. Breaking moves. Name it never gonna get it. Love you guys. Platypuses have a poisonous spike in their back leg. Hell yeah. I'm talking away.

Though I don't know what I'm to say. I'd say it anyway. Today isn't my day to find you shining. I'm coming for your love, okay? Needless to say. I won't say anything. Some little way. Some little life is okay.

Say it to me. It's no better to be safe than some way. Say it to me. It's no better to be safe than some way. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on.

Dream on. Dream on. Dream on. Things that you say and reason why. Just to play that word the reason why. You're all the things I've got to remember. And you're shying away. Love is coming for you anyway.

And you're shying away. Love is coming for you anyway. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on. Dream on.

Dream on. Take on me, take me on Take on me, I'll hold you Take on me, take me on Take on me, take me on Take on me, take me on Take on me, take me on