Pardon My Take - CFB Mega Preview With Tom Fornelli & Brandon Walker, Joey Chestnut + Mt Rushmore Of Things In A College Guys Apartment

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Football is back and we have another blind poll to dig into this time by agents. Is having urgency for a quarterback good (00:00:00-00:35:08)? The finale of Mt Rushmore season with the Mt Rushmore of things in a college guy’s apartment (00:35:08-01:05:04). Tom Fornelli and Brandon Walker join us to break down the upcoming 2024 CFB season with some hot take, playoff picks and Heisman + we have a competition between the two to decide our college expert (01:05:04-02:13:56). Joey Chestnut joins the show ahead of his eat off with Kobayashi and to talk about what happened this summer (02:13:56-02:30:37). We finish with Fyre fest of the week (02:30:37-02:51:19).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have an awesome college football preview with our good friend, Tom Frinelli. And we also invited Brandon Walker. We, you'll hear at the beginning, we told Brandon Walker he's going to be the college football expert this year. He did not know that Tom Frinelli was in the studio. It was great. Brandon Walker was great too. So awesome deep dive with the two of them, our two favorite college football experts, not named any staples. Yeah, they were very good. Brandon's got a shady track record whenever someone labels him as an

expert. But he did a good job this time. That's true. So we also have an interview with our good friend, Joey Chestnut, who has a big competition coming up on Monday. Perfect, perfect come down from the football we're going to watch all weekend long. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things in every college guy's apartment. It is still anyone's Mount Rushmore between Hank and PFT. And then we'll have Fire Fest.

And we're brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. We had the appetizer last week. Now it's time to feast. College football is back. Don't miss any of the action. Jump in at DraftKings Sportsbook. It's a full slate of games for week one, including the big matchup in Atlanta

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Get 250 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 30th and football is back PFT we're recording this early because pop punk this weekend go buy tickets Philly and Washington DC but you finally got your Lindenwood game. We're Lindenwood tonight man I'm heavy on Lindenwood I have no choice but to bet on that. You waited?

No. I do like Kansas but I'm gonna have to bet on Lindenwood. That felt like the longest week ever. It was such a long week. And then with reports that like Putin was acting up in Ukraine, I thought maybe World War III would start again and we wouldn't get to the Lindenwood, Kansas game. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and we made it. Yeah.

That is actually a secret phobia of mine. Every single off season. And I refer to our offseason as football offseason there are other sports but I love football and every year I'm terrified that the Asteroids gonna happen right right before kickoff so we've got we still have another week until NFL until it's fully football season knock on wood knock on wood so Asteroids just mind your own business Putin kindly just fuck off for another week how many World War 3s have almost happened a lot

It feels like in the last two years. It's been it's been hundreds Do you think right after World War one ended they were like why do we keep calling this World War one? Yeah, why are we does that mean we're gonna do it again weird shit. Is there a sequel coming? Oh fuck We didn't realize that we have to do a sequel was this a prequel. Yeah, that's true Uh Hank big news for you. You have a starting quarterback. Yeah, it's Kobe Brissette. Yep I actually write like Jacobi Brissette a lot. I think he's a good he's a good quarterback He'll get you probably eight wins if he starts the entire season So you're not gonna eat eight a Jacobi Brissette is a Jacobi Brissette is an a sneaky eight win quarterback Is a lot for their roster their offensive line

I'm just saying Jacobi Brissette is a so you're gonna bet the over for the Patriots win total Which is what five and a half three and a half is it before and a half? Yeah, I'm gonna take you know What I will take the over on that. I actually don't think that they'll win eight games I'm just saying Jacobi Brissette feels like an eight win quarterback guy under the radar. I Wouldn't be surprised if they won six, seven. Seven? Yeah. I'm gonna be stunned. Okay. Jacoby Burset, I mean he seems like a great dude. We gotta have him on the show at some point. I like Jacoby Burset. Hank, are you a little sad though that you don't get to be in...

Jacobi Burset, just not to correct you, has never won eight games. Because he's never started full season. Right, he's gone... Well, he has started full season. He won four and 11. Okay. And then he started another season and he won seven games. That's 15 games.

Seven and eight. Yeah, so I mean, you couldn't get to eight with... You never know. Four wins. And then he went four and seven and Then not a full full season four and seven and then seven and eight so he was close. He could have gotten eight there Yeah, he's also I think he's the best quarterback sneaker of all time if you look at his his yards per sneak hang So you got that going for you? Oh, yeah huge

I'll never forget there was like my first year working on the show. There was a Thursday night football game that Jacoby Brissette started. I think it was, I think it was for the Browns Browns where we started the show saying, and Jacoby Brissette might be the guy. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, he flashes. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's, I wouldn't say he's an eight one quarterback. I think he's a, uh, get you a couple of wins in, uh, like your starter goes down, Jacobi Reset comes in, he can tread water. He's a tread water guy. He's a three and four guy. Three and four is not bad. Three and four is not bad. He's tread water. Like hey, the season didn't fully fall apart, but we also didn't really win.

I may have gotten over my skis by saying eight wins at the start. I knew what you were saying. I want to take accountability for that. Because when you're wrong on this show it's important to admit that you're wrong. I may have been wrong like 30 seconds ago, but I'm right when I say that he will get you a few more wins if he starts a full slate than you would think that he would. I think the only thing you did wrong was you should have said he's an eight win vibe guy. Eight win vibe guy. Yeah. Might not get you eight wins but you'll feel like eight wins is possible. He'll get you eight covers. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true

So congrats Hank Good job on that. You have a starting quarterback. Yeah, congratulations Are you feeling like you're gonna be missing out on on the rookie quarterback excitement? That's gonna be permeating this podcast No, cuz cuz if things go south for you guys, it's over. No, that's not true. Patriots also aren't going to win now. The commanders aren't either, but you for some reason think they are. No, you're wrong with what you just said.

What? You're wrong. The Bears are definitely... You don't know what it's like to have a rookie quarterback. Things are definitely not over if things go wrong in the first year. That's when you go, hey, year two is going to be different, sophomore bump. After year two goes bad, you're going to be like, okay, this might be a problem, but year three, new year, fresh start. And then year three goes bad and you're like,

maybe though we should extend them. So really there's a lot of time before things go over. And you forgot after years yourself they aren't over. When year two goes bad then you get a new offensive coordinator. Right. And then you read all the reports of how they're clicking. It's more quarterback friendly. Maybe an older wide receiver. Yeah, you get a veteran presence in there and then you can convince yourself, yeah,

he could turn around year three. He just needed some targets. Yeah, he has like a really good performance in the second half of a couple games where they're losing by 30 points and you're like, you know what? He made a couple of really nice throws there. Yeah. So no, no, you're wrong. Things are not over, but I'm not, I don't, I'm not going to get FOMO about trick me, not starting our offensive lines bad. I think our roster is not great. It's okay. You know, it's, it's a rebuilding year. I think it's embrace it for what it is. We'll put, put a pin in that Hank. I think mid-October you're

gonna be like, let's see what the young guys got. Cause that's also part of it. You definitely get to a point where you're like, Hey, can we just see the young guy to get excited? Yeah. You're going to be like, let's just see what the young guys got. No. Then you start looking at, you start looking at the draft board, start paying attention to college football. Yeah. Start paying, which is back. I think you're going to have FOMO though. I think you're going to see me and Big Cat so emotionally invested in our quarterbacks and you're going to want to taste that because you're going to, it's going to be sad watching Jacoby Brissette go out there and have those covers that he'll play better than you think

he is, but you're going to get sick of losing. And then you're going to say, I just want the excitement of seeing what my guy can do. I mean, this is a loser mentality. I feel like we've talked about it a bunch on the show, but your guys ultimate goal is achieving One you know if you could have one fifth of the success that the Patriots had in that 20-year run Yeah, be thrilled. Yeah, yeah, where's I've felt it so a little more not I'm not you can't it's impossible to expect those results Forever, I would I'm very happy with the 20-year run. We had if we don't have a good year I'm not gonna be that upset about it and that might upset people. I would love- I'm very happy with the 20 year run we had. If we don't have a good year, I'm not going to be that upset about it. And that might

upset people, I don't care. I would love to be in a position where Patrick Mahomes could just absolutely crush my dreams in the Super Bowl. That's what I want. Like choke me daddy. I want, I want, I want to be- You want him to dom you. I want to get, I want to be the sub for Patrick Mahomes. It sucks. No, but it's fun. You get so many fun memories. No. No.

I have no fun memories from that. No, there were some fun memories. Yeah, we can't. Jalen Hurts will suck his dick right now. Yeah, the play when you beat the 49ers when they didn't have a quarterback, that was fun. And tried to say that that was a real game that should count. What do you mean it should count?

It shouldn't have counted. They should have just replayed the game? Yes. Yeah, until Brock Purdy's elbow was okay. Do you guys wanna do another anonymous poll? Yeah, I'd love to. We should conduct our own anonymous poll at some point. It's all in, it's the rage right now.

So anonymous poll time. These are my favorite. I have some good quotes from this. This is NFL agent's dish on best and worst franchise from the athletic. So they had, which is the best run franchise? Max Eagles were number one with tied with the 49ers. Congratulations. Let's go. Let's go. Eagles and 49ers. Howie, there was a lot of praise for Howie and everything he does which is the most unstable franchise

I think this one won't surprise anyone Most unstable franchise most unstable franchise the Carolina Panthers that is correct a resounding Number one with the Carolina Panthers because David Tepper He's if he's got one fan. It's Peter Schrager. Yeah, that's about it There's no he can't buy any of the other owners houses and bulldoze them to the ground Yeah, the quote actually was I think the headline for this section should be that for the first time in my career most NFL Organizations are relatively competent Wow, how about that? That is a direct dance. We would have voted Dan Snyder if he was yeah It's actually nice not being on that list really anymore.

I actually could see if the Packers were to beat the Panthers multiple times in the playoffs, I could see David Tepper buying all the Green Bay Packers owners' homes and leveling them and building his own home there. He's that kind of guy. But yeah, it's nice to have a new boogie man. I want to do something else here. Blind poll, blind quote. So I'm going to take out anything that

describes what team this is talking about. You guys tell me the team. You ready for this? There's complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled blank. Has one player had more power than him? They have been unable to convert him into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible. Jets. That's correct. Well, the Jets, they're not in disarray, they're out of formation if you know anything about Jets.

But this is actually accurate describing Aaron Rodgers having the most power. He's got the most power in the NFL. So memes, how do we find this, we gotta find out who this blind polar was. Racini? No, I think it was G. I think it was, oh, maybe it was. Let's see who was actually.

Who voted? Who voted? Let's get this name. Let's see. The Athletics, 31 representatives of our sixth annual NFL agent survey. So agents, we need to find some agents. It was an anonymous agent? It was an anonymous agent.

It was anonymous agent that said the jets are in complete disarray over there. Look at how they've handled Aaron Rodgers has one player had more power than him. He skipped many camp. They've been unable to convert them into a team player. The vibe inside the building is terrible. I'm going to go out on the limb. And I think that this anonymous agent might represent Hassan Reddick. Mmm Well, it's 31 of them. Okay. Well if you put that quote, yeah If you can't trust an anonymous agent, who can you trust? That's true. So memes

We'll find who this Racini is bunch of salt. Sorry. This is this Florio is All 31 of them. Yeah better at your job This was a fun one what average annual value would three times Super Bowl MVP Patrick Holmes receive if you were free agent on the open market 80 mil so The most common answer was 70 mil But there were six people who voted for over a hundred million dollars. Holy shit crazy

Can you even build a team? I don't know. I don't know if that's possible who voted for over $100 million. Holy shit. Crazy. Can you even build a team? I don't know. I don't know if that's possible. I saw that Deshaun Watson just restructured his contract, and I think next season and the year after, he's going to get, like, the cap hit is gonna be $74 million.

Oh my God. On him, which I saw what the Browns did. I do not understand the solid cap. No. It's not real. It makes no sense. It can't be real. So they had him sign to a guaranteed contract and they said we're gonna restructure convert it to a signing bonus we just freed up like 70 million dollars they have the most cap room in the NFL right now it doesn't

make any sense at all if you sign a guy to like a very unfriendly cap deal and then a year and a half later you can be like actually it's a really good deal for the cap this season. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, and we can cut him whenever. And this money's not real. I do like playing that game though. If there was no salary cap whatsoever, what would he make?

$250 million a year? No salary cap? No salary. For Patrick Mahomes? He'd still, he should still run an organization where they want to make money. But like it's the old one LeBron was in his heyday. Like what would, what is he actually worth? Like, I

don't know, 300 million. Yeah. If the NFL was truly free market capitalism, it might, he might go to the, to the Panthers. Yeah. David Tepper, they might turn this ship around. Yeah, you're right. Um, okay. We also had, uh, I think there was was the team their most or team who had best offseason That was the commanders. Let's go offseason champs commanders one that they said basically just everything the vibes have changed They don't have Rodgers. Yep. Yeah all that stuff. No Aaron Rodgers is a big one. Yeah sign Nick Bellori Nick Bellori We signed that the wide receiver from from Houston We unfortunately cut

Martavis Bryant. Yeah which you found out in the middle of the Jerry O'Connor. I still think we could bring him back. You're getting Ayuk? Yeah we're gonna get Ayuk. What's that? When's that gonna happen? So Ayuk was he was supposed to practice yesterday. There was a report out of San Francisco he was gonna practice and then all the reporters just went out onto the practice field and just watched for Brandon I you to come out and he never did So things aren't going great with whatever they're negotiating out there

I don't I just bring I you cuz just he's reached the point where I just wanted to be over Yeah, I want to know what's gonna happen with him this year. Yeah, and the back and forth is it's gone way too long Yeah, um the last thing that I found funny about this poll, cause this is again agents, uh, they asked what they should change. This is NFL agents. Uh, they should say college players should be allowed to enter the draft as a one and done. That's interesting. Yeah. I want to get more players to be able to represent. Uh,

they all said add rounds to the draft. That's not necessary. Okay. Well, because think about it. If you're an agent, don't you want there to be like seven rounds is okay. You might even want six rounds because if your seventh round pick, you'd almost rather just be able to choose where you want to go. Yeah. And negotiate your own signing bonus at that point.

These are just funny. Like how could you make a perfect world in there? Here's another one. Any three years or less contract should be fully guaranteed. I'm fine with that. Yeah, that's good. Shrink the length of rookie contracts so players can get to a second contract quicker. Again, this has nothing to do with the agents making money. For running backs. Well, they said that the change to the running back to fix the running back thing is to have

the one and done or college players don't have to stay three years, which I agree with. Yeah. Like if you're a really good running back, usually you find out if you're a really good running back within the first two years, why add that extra wear and tear? I agree. Also, I like the idea of being a one and done in college just to piss off Davos Swinney Moore.

Yeah. Yes. He might commit seppuku at the 50 yard line with his own cleat. Yes. That happens. He's like, I'm sacrificing myself at the altar of college football this one. Actually. I agree with separate salary bucket for quarterbacks That makes sense. Yeah, basically let the quarterbacks get paid something completely separate So it doesn't again the cap is doesn't make sense But they're so out of control compared to everything else you do a separate bucket where it's like You know every team has a hundred million dollars or whatever and then the rest of the roster is under a salary cap

I don't mind that I like the idea of having that separate bucket for quarterbacks and also for running backs Yeah, I think that the zoom call that they did last year really changed my mind. That's it. Thanks. It did big time and then Yeah, there was just another one that was raised rosters to 60 players on game day. Again, that would be, they just be able to represent more NFL players. Yeah. So I stand with the anonymous agents. Doing a poll of anonymous agents is such a funny thing to do. It's very funny.

It's like, let's figure out how these guys want to make more money out of it. Raise the agent fees to 25%. I stand with the agents on that one. All right, yes, those anonymous polls. I love anonymous polls. We should conduct one. Yeah, let's do it. We should conduct one.

We should come up with one maybe mid-season and we can do like about how the season's going and have all the AWOs vote on it and then just release the findings like their facts. Or we just ask our friends that are in the NFL to vote in the polls. We just ask people in the office. Yeah, we can do that too.

We should do anonymous polls around the office. Yeah. There was also a report about Tom Brady, Hank's best friend Tom Brady. Oh. So he is trying to purchase a stake in the Raiders, which I think that's progressing. I feel like we have a vote about that every couple of weeks.

I thought he did. He was wearing a Raiders hat at the Morgan Walland concert. Oh, was he? Interesting. So is he already officially, officially... I don't know anything other than that. I just assumed that meant that it was happening. So there's a rule that they're putting in place, because he's going to be doing games.

He's going to be calling games now. Right. Where as an owner, he's not going to be allowed to do any pre-production or behind-the-scenes visits with any of the teams that he's going to be covering. Because he's going to get some secret sauce from them or something, and that's going to be against the rules. He's going to use that. That's pretty much what Troy Aikman has been doing for the last 20 years to make sure the

Cowboys stay on top. Yeah, and it's done an incredible job, and so they don't want to repeat that with the Raiders. And Florio is all over this by the way Hank. Uh, he said, this is the opening paragraph from his article about it. Such a Floreo story. Tom Brady's first significant encounter with the Raiders happened in the Tuck rule game. The latest development. Wow. He's really setting the stage there. Oh, just wait. Oh, just wait. Cause like, okay, he's setting you up right now. Yeah. Tom Brady's first significant encounter with the Raiders

happened in the tuck rule game. The latest developments involving Brady and the Raiders could have him saying a different word that ends with UCK. Whoa. Suck. Buck. Is he making a jujitsu joke?

Is this the C? Is he going to P.F. change with Mark Davis and getting the duck? Cuck, I think he's talking about cuck. Yeah Yeah, got it Facebook. Florio doesn't know that word suck Florio does not know the word cock. I don't think he does either but he's an Italian man He doesn't get cucked but it seems like it seems like Brady I don't know the Florio is saying that the league is trying to convince Brady not to have a stake in the Raiders Got it.

I don't think Roger could overstep his bounds when it comes to punishing Tom Brady. That doesn't seem like him. I'm gonna let the finance bros come running in. Oh yeah, right. The Bengals were the only team that voted against that. They just love being the one team that doesn't vote for stuff. I actually feel bad for Bengals fans right now because obviously Jamar Chase is I think he was supposed to be at practice. He was like, oh yeah, he's going to practice for the rest of the week or up until week one. And then he showed up in street clothes.

I feel bad for Bengals fans because Mike Brown is so, so cheap. And he was like, I have to pay Joe Burrow. And then once he paid Joe Burrow, he's like no I'm never doing that again. Mm-hmm. It sucks. Yeah, he's just like Jamar chase and Joe burrow should play together forever. Yeah, he's right now house poor, right? Like I spent all my money on Joe burrow, so I'm not spending a dime on anything else. It's crazy I don't understand I get like you want to own the team and you have the power you feel like a big strong guy But like dude if you can't fucking pay in if you if you're gonna be cheap just fucking sell the team and go be rich and fuck off yeah let's do it like I mean the McCassey's are kind of similar although I I'm back

on the McCaskey side because they kept swearing at a hard knocks which was very important that's good yeah they made sure there was no swearing at a hard knocks, which was very important. That's good. Yeah. They made sure there was no swearing on the on hard knocks because it would can't have that. Not not in football, not in football. No, not in not NFL. No.

All right. Before we do Mount Rushmore. I also saw Ravens GM sees increased urgency in Lamar. So that's good. Good. Yeah. He wasn't urgent enough. That was the problem.

His urgency. He's talking about urgent care That's one of my favorite if you're a fan of a team that has been close but hasn't gotten over the hump where the like sometime in late August where you get reports being like This they really feel the pressure to win. That's a really want to win this year. Yeah, there was a Interview with Caleb Williams. It might have been your guys Waddle and Sylvie that did it. But they were talking about pressure. Like, do you feel any pressure? And he was like, no, I don't.

I never feel pressure. I just think about the expectations that I have for myself that I have to go out there and be the best and win. He described pressure. But he just doesn't call it pressure. It's a good move. It's a judo move.

It's very smart. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I'm not anxious move. It's a judo move It's very smart. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, uh, I'm not anxious I'm just got a lot to do tomorrow Yeah I just got a lot on my mind and I want to make sure that everything happens and then I keep going through the worst-case Scenarios of what could happen and then I overthink that and then I try to go to sleep But I can't because I'm thinking about it too much. Yeah, but anxiety is not a word of my dick thing

Yeah, yeah, we don't, we don't get anxious here. Yeah. We just, we just constantly think about the future and if everything's going to work out. Yeah. There was a great college football story too. Did you see this about Chuck Martin from, I think it was University of Miami at Ohio. Okay. Love and honor. Yep. They were talking about iPads and how iPads are going to be on the sidelines in college football this year. And he is the only guy that voted against using iPads on the sideline. He said, I don't want iPads. In the old days, he actually had to coach. He had to watch the action, figure out what was going on and then go make

adjustments. I can get a nine year old kid to watch the play on an iPad and say that guy was running wide open up the scene. We should cover him. I agree with him. And then he said at the end that you used to have to make in-game adjustments but now the iPad will make them for you. Pretty soon there will be robots on the sidelines and you won't even have to hire anyone. Soon we'll have fake officials, fake players, fake coaches. Yep. So he described NCAA. Yeah. He described the college football. Yes. Yes. I agree with him. Yeah. Nothing worse than than than Having someone watch you I'm speaking from a lot of experience having someone watch you be like X was open. Yeah. Yep. That's true Also kids these days as they get into college

They're used to having screen time to just make them shut up at dinner, right? I go are you are you gonna annoy us for this entire dinner, just watch this game, just play this game on your iPad the whole time. So that's gonna make its way into college football where coaches are just gonna get sick of their players complaining about stuff. Be like, here, just watch this iPad of a game and you'll be fine.

And it'll just kind of bring the temperature down on the sidelines. If they can just have screen time. Credit to me, I don't have my kids watch at dinner. It's just basically a constant terrorist negotiation with being like, hey, you you take one bite of this and you're getting an Oreo. That's pretty good. That's it. That's the whole thing. That's pretty good. Constant negotiation back and forth. Yeah, but I do I like what Chuck, what's his name, Chuck

Martin. I like what Chuck Martin saying pretty soon. We're just not going to have coaches and players anymore. He's right. He's right. He's absolutely right It's a slippery slope. Once you allow them to look at an iPad on the sideline guys You guys mean marrying pigs next thing, you know people there's not even gonna be football anymore. We're gonna be living in a simulation Where's the line? Yeah, where's the line? All right. So speaking of college football, you guys got any picks for people? Let's just do a pick for week one We're gonna talk our full preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Frinelli in a second and we go through everything but what's your

favorite game week one Hank? I looked at the board I saw the one that jumped out Eastern Michigan plus 2.5. Why did that jump out? Because UMass football should never be favorites against anyone. Okay okay. The offense. Don't they have a really hard schedule this year? UMass? Yeah. Any game that they have is a hard schedule. That's true.

Every year is a hard schedule. I think they're real sickos this year. I want to say that they've got like, are they playing several games against the SEC? I mean, they probably do a lot of buy games. They usually always play one against the SEC. Yeah. By the way, go to DraftKings for any of your week one lines alright so Eastern Michigan huh? Eastern Michigan plus two and a half

okay PFT they're playing Georgia November 23rd oh no yikes oh no they're playing Mississippi State I guess they're technically Missouri yeah they're sickos they're sickos. What do you like PFTt I like the University of Richmond, the spiders. Oh, I like the spiders going into Charlottesville playing UVA 18 and a half. That's too many points to any these guys get paid to play football to at Richmond. Although that that UVA quarterback I kind of like him he's got he's got aura does he have he's a guy who he gets helmet popped off last year and

he like took a picture like flexing for first aura does he have it? He's a guy who he gets helmet popped off last year And he like took a picture like flexing for a first down does he have aura or does he have moxie? Both I would say and this is also because of our our friend and colleague Jake Malasek always tweeting this picture So it's it could be that he sucks and I have been Brain-wormed by those close around you talking about someone Calandria Kalandria. Oh, Kalandria. Okay. I like, I still like Richmond. Don't, don't count out the spiders early on the season. Okay. Cause they're going to get, they're going to get on the bus.

They're going to drive from Richmond to Charlottesville and they're going to have their coach say to them as they get off the bus, just remember these guys at UVA, nobody there recruited you. Yeah. And then Richmond's going to step off and smash them. Yeah. I like that. Um, yeah, Anthony Kalandria, he finished the season with only won one game last year, but he's got a aura

Okay. Yeah, you have been tricked into like into supporting you. I'm looking at his numbers right now. It's it's there 13 touchdowns 9 interceptions. He finished the season. I guess he they beat Duke That was probably why I've been tricked. so they wanted his second last game last year I have been tricked. I have been brain-wormed It's going to cost me money hoodwink bamboozle. Yes, let us stray. I'm gonna take USC I've I've given it out on all the college football shows have done the this is gonna probably be a disaster because the Sunday night standalone game Yep, so Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna be like, remember when I just was like, yeah, USC, USC, just

wait for Sunday night, USC. Hey, memes, how are you feeling about your Georgia Bulldogs this year? I'm feeling fantastic. They're going to beat the absolute fuck out of Clemson. OK. I like that. I want to see some memes Georgia stuff this year. Because it is, you are kind of

What's it? What's the guy the two-faced guy in Batman two-faced two-faced? Is that his name Harvey Dent Harvey Dent? You're Harvey Dent. Yeah, you get the Jets in Georgia. Yes People see you're like, oh, that's a normal-looking guy and then you turn and your face is completely off Because Florio and Rossini have burnt it so many times your face is completely off because Florio and Rossini have burnt it so many times. Yeah, my weekends go Saturday. Good because Georgia wins. Come in, watch the Jets, they lose and then a miserable the rest of the week. And then it goes Saturday when on repeat. Yes, you only get like 12 hours. Yeah, you have you have Saturday scaries. Yes, like Saturday night, you're feeling good. You're having a great time. They're like, Oh, fuck,

I got jets tomorrow. I got to do this. I I gotta go to jets tomorrow. I just watched a competent team. Now I gotta go back to the jets. Yeah, there's a you're basically like a child of divorce and you go to the you go for like one day to dad's house and play all these games and you go to mom's house and there's a lot of rules. You just want to go back. You're like, yeah, Georgia, Georgia scores points. Yeah, points., but yeah, Georgia lets me Cheetos in bed Why can't I do that here mom? Jets, it's the best So memes you're not you usually haven't been as over-the-top as a Georgia fan

Is that because they're an adopted team or is that because you just you always have that impending doom of being a Jets fan? Um, I adopted them in junior high when I got a Matthew Stafford jersey sent to me. My uncle lives down there so They are adopted But I still root for them equally as all the other teams Okay, also being from the Northeast. It's like no one really has college teams Like every most people from Northeast Northeast have adopted college teams. Memes is a real, he's a real Georgia fan.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna back him up. He watches every game, he knows every player. And then he roots them on the Eagles. We have a big Georgia representative at Barstool. It's me, Ryan Whitney and Triggs. Yeah. All Northeast guys. Yeah, real Southerners, real SEC guys.

Hey, isn't it crazy the Georgia team memes memes from two three years ago the one that I should have three years ago Like all those players on the defense like there's a lot of guys that kind of suck In the pros like who I saw Lewis seen right he got cut. Yeah, which there's no worse Having anything say former first rounder. Yeah, that's a bad thing to have when it's phrase that way Former first rounder gets cut that means that something bad has happened wonder what went wrong isn't I mean Nicoby Dean has he played a lot He's just been hurting he's been hurt a lot a third rounder. No. I yeah, I'm not saying where they were But like if you look at the Georgia defense, it was so dominant three years ago Jalen Carter Jalen Carter has been good memes am I off on this?

Georgia Ross well Louis C. C. Just signed with the Jets, so they're gonna revive them I thought he switched to the bills now the Jets the Jets are gonna like on the bills Okay Maybe I'm who was the other there was a couple guys. This might be very wrong Well, we'd have to maybe do a deep dive for me memes and They were they were supposed to be the ball in the history of college football wait, Lou Lewis seemed signed with the Bills now the Jets Okay I'm reading right now Ian Rapport. The B bills are actually signing former Vikings first-round safety

Lewisine to practice what this says jet signing and many thoughts seen would land with the jet. Oh, no Wait, what? Oh, no, wait, did the jets turn them around by? Oh, no by letting the bills sign them Wait, did this just happen? I mean I'm seeing from oh, yeah hours ago hours ago Yeah, the bills practice what this is former Vikings first round Decide with the Bills practice squad. Oh No, he had initially leaned towards jets but opts to go elsewhere the AFC East is the vibes are the vibes terrible I think a fan revoke. Oh, I think I think this is an example of disarray This is a team that would be a team that is in disarray would do something Wow

Yeah, oh no memes. I'm sorry that you had to find this out right here right now That was a perfect rabbit hole. We just went down to get to this point. Oh My god, sorry for your loss memes Means did you did you already order the Jersey? Oh, man? Yes memes did you did you already order the jersey oh man yes you're pretending like this was a maker break player I mean we had 10 former first-rounders on the defense that's cool all that would have been sick we would have made 11 now he was 10 are that awesome like the Falcons from back in the day

yeah the offense yeah that would have been sick now I am kinda bummed for you sorry memes sorry memes there's a great story that's coming out of out of Gainesville. Have you seen what's going on with the game between the the Gators and the Hurricanes? No. All right. So University of Florida announced that they were going to do a whiteout for this game, which I guess they rarely do. But it's like, you know, opening week, let's get all the students wearing white. Let's get all the fans wearing white let's get all the fans wearing white make it a tough environment Miami then responded by choosing to wear their all-white uniform oh so they completely took the white from Florida and now they own that white

out game oh now this is a university of Miami white out game oh no, it's shocking. That is shocking. So wait, so it's going to be so who gets the whites? So Florida is going their fans are going to be wearing all white. Okay, but the Hurricanes are going to be dressed in all white on the field. Got it. So it's going to look Oh, that's gonna be very confusing. Very confusing. I think they completely lost home field advantage on this. Oh no. Yeah. They did lose home field advantage. That's that's significant. Yeah. That feels significant. Um, what are you looking up? Are you looking it up? Max? We're just looking at all the players and how many are like crushing it because that was an insane defense. It's not taking anything away from their college defense. It looks like they were Trayvon Walker and Jalen Carter or were the two or the two that are that you could be like

Yeah, because that wasn't way Walker insane defense And I and I only thought of it because I saw Lewis seen was was going to the Jets He went to the Jets, right? He went to the Jets initially, but then he changed his mind and went to the bills Yeah, verbal meme Aaron Rodgers walking out the flag was Lewis. Oh, no, it's a tough scene. Oh, no Okay, let's do our Mount Rushmore. Let's do our Mount Rushmore before we get to Mount Rushmore We're brought to you by our friends at game time

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nine from your cell phone. That's forthepeople.com slash PMT or pound law, pound five two nine from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Okay, boys. It all comes down to this. PFT and Hank are separated by three points, which means if Hank can win this Mount Rushmore and PFT somehow comes in last, we will have a tie and figure out what exactly we're going to do to break that tie. To break that tie we have the Mount Rushmore of things in a college guys

apartment Correct. What are the standings right now? The stand I know I'm up three on Hank Yeah, you have no chance at coming in second right now. I've been kind of mailing them in because of the stand I thought as of as of oh no today's poll you could have come in third. Oh I could come in third. Yeah yeah. I don't know. As soon as I clinched I went with Max Autopilot.

You clinched not last place. Yeah I mean second and third mean nothing. No I've also, well I don't know when these standings were. Second place means nothing Max? In this competition no. In other competitions? Second place means nothing. You keep bringing up second place

It seems like you're you're gunning for big cat you brought. Yeah, right. Does that matter? Yeah? Why does it matter? Hank are you trying to you try to stir the pot a little bit have you not brought it max? He brought up to you. He's brought up to me No, he has not brought it up to me, but It does seem like you're true. You're you care a lot about second place, which means nothing. Well, I guess I don't in this because like you asked for the standings.

The only thing that matters is coming in last. Yeah, it literally means nothing. It's not like second to last and last place to the punishment like in the baseball one, right? Correct, and even if that was the case, you still wouldn't want second even more. You just wouldn't want to be second to last. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah, the- What? What? What? The second place... second and third place mean absolutely... the minute I clenched... Yep. I was like, great, pack it up, I'm out. Awesome Mount Rushmore season. Did my job. Yep. I was talking about the baseball one, where if you're second to last, it's not good. No. We do an NFL picks where if you come in second... Yes.

And last... And last. last you lose. Someone messaged me this week a pretty good idea that I could like of next year doing a lottery system. What do you mean? Like Lottery, like, like the NBA lottery for what? So for doing the punishment. So if you come in last, you get like a ton of lottery balls to get picked to do the punishment. So if you come in last, you get like a ton of lottery balls to get picked to do the punishment. Oh, I do like that.

Yes, I love that. That is a great idea. I think if you come in first, you're out. No, I think first you'd have like one lottery ball. OK, yeah. Yeah, it should be 100 lottery balls. We could just do it with our lottery ball machine. I wish I could.

Yeah, it's like if you come in last, you have 40 lottery balls we could just do it with our lottery ball machine. I wish I could. Yeah it's like if you come in if you come in last you have 40 lottery balls if you come in third to third you have 30 lottery balls then 20 then 10 or whatever it is. Yeah I love that. I love that. I love that. Great idea. Because you and I have just been checked out. Yeah yeah you're right you have to get you you, we should incentivize. There shouldn't be a, just playing out the string. Yeah, you guys are doing load management now. Yeah. Basically.

You're resting up for the playoffs. Pretty much. Okay. I'm gonna try though in this one, Max. We should, we gotta try in this one. Yeah, yeah, we have to. We have to, we have to give it, we don't want it to have any issues.

All right, so who's going first? Oh, I think it's me. Okay, so things that are in a single guy's apartment. College guy's apartment. College guy's apartment, excuse me. I am going to go with liquor bottle decor. It's a good one, yeah. Good pick.

Yeah, any sort of alcohol. I just said empty liquor bottles. Yep, yeah. Just like, this is cool. You put it around, like look how many empty bottles that we have in this house. Yep. Yeah, you ever put like Christmas lights into the liquor bottles? No, that's way too bougie for us.

And then use those as decorations, but they're like shitty liquor bottles. Yep. Like aristocrat vodka. This is my centerpiece. Yep. Like aristocrat vodka. This is my centerpiece. Yep. All right, my first pick, I'm going to go with a almost empty keg. Just having a keg in a corner somewhere. Okay. And there's not enough beer in it to drink. It's probably been warm for about two weeks, but you still have the keg there because you can take it back, get the deposit, get

it refilled at some point. But it's not totally empty yet. Yep, okay. I'll go with easy. Xbox and PS5, and specifically both, because that's like a very college guy thing to be like, we got both gaming systems. And it's just like, you don't need to, but we have both. We have one Xbox guy, one PS5 guy in here. Do you like PS2 when you were in college?

That's really funny, I actually had Xbox 360. Why don't you go fuck yourself? I run I dealt with the red ring of death so did I oh? So we're not that much different. I was curious you said ps5 obviously you know ps5 in college I was well. I mean what am I alright fine? I should say play play station do was it was I know is an Xbox 360 But you just said specifically both no I think you know I'm saying box and play Xbox and PlayStation We just say Xbox I'm saying boat I'm saying like every college department like when you get older you don't have two consoles in your house

Got it when you're in college you have two consoles because why the fuck not? Yeah. Yeah, usually one guy brings Yeah, another right now a very college thing to have two of the consoles I did have a ps3 in my apartment in college at one point But it's because we were broke as shit and so we all pulled our money together I waited in line for like three days to get a PlayStation 3 and I was like I'm gonna buy it Then I'm gonna flip it right before Christmas These things are going for like ten fifteen thousand dollars I get it and then I put it online turns out that they're going for ten fifteen thousand dollars,000. I get it. And then I put it online. Turns out that they're

going for 10 $15,000 because they haven't come out yet. And then once I put mine online and everybody else did, I think I ended up losing 50 bucks. Yeah, after three days of us taking turns waiting in this line. But yeah, pps two, ps three, Xbox 360 was for I don't know, five, six years of my life was definitely the most expensive thing I owned. And it was I remember I look I watched the video To try to fix the Red Ring of Death with the hairdryer the whole thing can't do it. Can't do it Can't do it. Okay I'm gonna go with full-size trash cans. Yes. I love it. I miss it so much

Mm-hmm, she's only have to take out the trash like once every month two of them I had two of them or you can burn it Sometimes we would not even we'd run out of trash bags that got gross We used to call it I was I we just called a trash corner Yeah, where we would we would have our trash came there and then it would overflow so it would just fall out the side So it just it was just a corner. It's a pile of trash. Yeah, and I'll go with a massive bong. Ah Okay, I had it on the list. Yeah, could pick the community bong. I was gonna go bong as well. Very good pick, Hank. Um

I'm gonna go with a Shittily made beer pong table Somewhere in the middle of the apartment very sticky gross. Also probably the kitchen table Yeah, could be the kitchen table, but you know, I'm thinking yeah doubles I'm thinking of the skinny one you know that everyone like the rage of the skinny one was like oh it doesn't take up that much space and you just had a like oh yeah look we have a football field table in the middle of the apartment it could be made from plywood like one big plywood that you got at Home Depot and then you put it on some chairs could be just a door We took a door off the hinges one time, but it stays up and then it stays up

Yeah, you use to use the mirrors in freshman year. We take the mirror the the big sliding What am I looking for it's a closet mirror. Yeah, we just take those doors off and that was what we do It's very nice. Yeah All right. I'm going to go with a beer bong. A beer bong that you just got hanging out all the time. Never put it away. Usually stays maybe on the TV stand, just to the side of the TV.

But you're ready for a beer bong at any moment, because you never know. You gotta be prepared. You'd rather have a beer bong than need a beer bong and not moment because you never know right you got to be prepared you'd rather have a beer bong and not need it than need a beer bong and not have it right agreed also some kind of like mildew some kind of mold and you're like I'll be fine yeah just run forever clear down it run hot water through yeah yeah I'm gonna stick with decor I was my mind went to decor when we were doing this, this Mount Rushmore. So you are interior design is your passion. Yes. Yes. Uh, so I'm just going to

go with flags. Yeah. Like no matter American flag, Saturday for the boys flag, frat flag. Yep. Uh, I don't even know if frat flag was a thing. I wasn't in a frat. Um, but I feel like that was good because you could just fill up so much space and be like, oh, yeah We did decoration. There's a flag. The best was the flag on the ceiling in your bedroom to set the mood Yeah, that was good. Yeah, yeah the mood and then the girls had the little the tapestry the your tapestry things Yeah, the beds with the posts you're saying yeah, yeah, it's ridiculous How much more nicely decorated girls apartments are in college? Oh? Yeah? It's not even like they're real people they get the lights Yeah, they get everything yeah, they go to Ikea and spend the cork boards with shit on it. Yeah pictures everywhere

It always smells nice. Yep they have towels that aren't beach towels in the bathrooms yep and Continuing continuing with decor, beer case wallpaper. Yeah, love that. That was awesome. Yep. Everyone would spend like the entire semester being like, yo, can I get your case? Can I get your case? I'm trying to make something.

I'm trying to make something. The one year, once, one year I went to college, I did have the sickest wall. Yeah. My dad gave me, it was like from an old Taco Bell drive-thru neon sign So that was in the middle of the wall and then it was just beer Beer case wallpaper around it. There's another remind me this like see the sign was it was literally like the sign They would have like on the freeway so it was massive so you could like see it from the cafeteria like 500 yards away That's awesome. People probably thought that there was a Taco Bell in that room. Yeah.

Good pick. I have something else if I would like to table that discussion. I have something else if it doesn't get picked. Circle back. Circle back. OK, so is it me? Yeah. All right, I'm going to go with Bob Marley poster. OK. Bob Marley poster. Doesn't matter if you like Bob Marley poster.

Mm. Okay. Bob Marley poster. Doesn't matter if you like Bob Marley or not. I knew a lot of guys that had Bob Marley posters that maybe listened to Jammin' once or twice. Weren't really fans, but it was just the vibe. If you had one, it's like you're not a cop, you're cool.

The only reason I kept that one off my list was that was a dorm more than apartment. I feel like when you graduated to apartment it felt a little different I think more you more flags think you bring it with you know more flags Okay, I this one who knows how this would play, but I mean it's just everyone has the shittiest couch possible Like you you I don't I don't remember my couches were so bad I had broken furniture Yeah Which is kind of the same thing and also like two extra couches one of the biggest days of my life was when the we

lived next to a halfway house and We got like the best couch ever that they had Discarded of because drunk. I had pissed all over it and we're like fucking fuck. Yeah, we'll just flip over the cushions We'll just clean it. Yeah, this is incredible. Yeah, when you guys went to college for four years, I had went to college for one year and then had three to four years

of visiting my friends at college. So I slept on all those couchs. Yes. And they were all horrible. Also they were all like way too big, but like in a good way. Like I felt like every couch we get was just so shitty But it would have like three pieces to it and could sit like ten people deep and big but terrible I

Missed those shitty couches because you just could you could spill literally you could just spill Directly on it and just like who cares you ever go to like a doctor's office, and they've got dorm room furniture in their waiting room Yeah, that's a sign You should leave that doc yes agreed All right my last two I'm gonna go with expired food fuck Good one that's good one all right good job. It's good job Hank and then similar to Max's decor Sports jerseys hung on the wall yeah okay cuz like it won't even sometimes it'll be you know your favorite team but sometimes it'll just

be like your high school jersey yeah and you just like put a pin yeah you just like a thumb yeah you put two thumbtacks and then it's like you know I'd be at people's colleges where it's like just you know the random kids like hockey high school jerseys yeah but a whole wall them. Okay, this last one I'm gonna go with Something I just just doing this Mount Rushmore doing this exercise I realized that like it's something that I only had in my life for this short period of time Way too many mismatched shot glasses Just everywhere shot glasses. I don't have shot glasses in my life anymore.

I still have a drawer. You do? And I never use the drawer. But just like, you know, there's one from spring break. Yeah. This bar and you just you in college. I think if you ask me like, Hey, can we do 50 shots? Like, no problem. I got 50 shot glasses. Yeah. Guys don't keep diaries. Yeah. We just accumulate shot glasses from different places that we've been. And then you Oh, yeah. I remember when I was down in Acapulco. Yeah, you graduate from shot glasses to golf balls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's literally that's that's the that's that's the Image of a guy learning to walk. Yeah, I bought some shot glasses the other day though in the Boston Airport in the Celtics Championship really cuz cuz the championship you really yeah, it's like you only get the one year with all the championship merch. I get a load up

Yeah, but it's just like I probably have a couple shot glasses in my house, but I'm talking like oh You know you open it up, and it's just Mismatched mugs and a ton of shot glass yeah some of them have the ones that like have the girl in the swimsuit And then her swimsuit fades away when you put liquor in there. That's a really nice one You can bring out yeah a couple like big ones big skinny ones that are different colors. Yeah, you're right It's a shot glasses to golf balls for guys and then women don't really they just write in a diary and then as they get Older sometimes they start to collect spoons. Yeah, nice when you go to a different city bring back knives a fancy spoon Yeah, did you guys used to drink Boilermakers? Yep. Oh

Shot of vodka dropped into a beer disgusting pretty good oh so bad pretty good okay okay my last pick Mount Rushmore of things found in college guys apartments my fourth pick will be a random dude hmm A random dude that's staying over. Maybe a friend of one of the roommates, maybe a friend that you met at a party seems like he's got cool vibes. He's in town for the weekend. Doesn't have a place to crash. You're like, that's fine, dude. You can crash on our couch. No problem. Okay. Then you wake up. Yeah. Then you wake up in the morning.

And if it wasn't your guy that you invited over, there's just a random guy there. Yeah. Random dude. I woke up with some random places we went to ASU way back in the day oh yeah I remember we were just you know we went out we watched the game you went home I stayed out with these random kids woke up in their dorm till like a pool party I would like this is still one of the weirdest college I would like the graphic to say random dude on the couch you said random no I'd say no, but I would like and that then I described it Cuz that's a terrible I described as random. I

Random it's a random dude. You picked a random dude on the couch I want to know both of your four picks because I have a pick that I think will win it for me But I want to know your four picks What are my four? No, I don't care about yours I want to know your four picks because there's a What are my four picks? No, I don't care about yours. I want to know your four picks. Because there's a...we could have a chance...because Hank has done a very good job of this draft

and you may have just lost it with Random Dude. Random Dude on the Couch is what I said. I described as Random Dude on the Couch, did I not? And then we said Random Dude on the Couch. The way that Mount Rushmore season has always gone is you have an opportunity to clarify before the next person makes their pick what goes on the graphic. Am I wrong? Memes? Regardless, I don't think it's a good pick. before the next person makes their pick what goes on the graphic. Am I wrong?

Memes? Regardless I don't think it's a good pick. It was a very affirmative, a random dude. Yeah the way you said a random dude was very definitive but I'm fine with a random dude on the couch. Yeah whatever PFT wants we call it a formative. Commish? Commishish I will abide by memes What did he say at first he said he said a random dude all right? That's it Okay, that's gonna be tough Hank what are your four did I just oh my god? I was wait I was so when you said it is there is it didn't come a second when you said it

I was like what the fuck and then I was and then when you described it it made sense Yeah, when you said it. I was like what the fuck and then I was and then when you described it it made sense Yeah, when you said it I was like what okay, so I will buy by means decision. I'm a fair sport What happens if we do tie Hank we have to figure out there? There's a duel on Monday's duel on Monday show. There's no way you got it. You know you can try What did you what did you take I had I think I was trash cans a massive bong expired food sports jerseys hung take? I had full-size trash cans, a massive bong, expired food, sports jerseys hung on wall. I had an almost- Wait, you didn't say sports jerseys hung on wall. Yeah, I did. He got that. Oh. Was that gonna be your big pick? No. Okay. I had an almost- almost empty keg.

I had a beer bong. I had the Bob Marley poster, and then I had a beer bong I had The Bob Marley poster and then I had a random dude also not to hate I just said I spent three years my life visiting all my friends at different colleges I don't think I ever saw a keg in there. You ever saw a keg kegs were not like a Major major that was a house thing Yeah, I'll defend PFT on I had it we had a kegerator So it wasn't usually empty we had a we made an old fridge and that also became the fridge where we just kept like

The expired food so it was like the fridge in the old fridge and freezer We converted to a kegerator and then just threw all of our expired food in there Like if we get in a pinch the kegerator was a good idea I had that to I think we inherited it when we winning and winning in fourth place is impossible that also is a that I'm sure a Niche pick is which wouldn't look good on the graphic here. I'll just do your last pick and then we'll do it I'm gonna say I'm gonna say a multiple TV living room Like that. Yeah, but they're like that wasn't that

wasn't my a pic. Oh what was your a pic. No that's his pic. That's my pic. That's my pic. My first honorable mention would be red cups. Ah I don't think that was as a as you thought. You will go into any college apartment there are red cups everywhere Well, what if you're what if you're solo cups? Yeah, what if you're in the Crips? What Reds were right there. I feel like the blue ones were red ones. You know the reds were right obviously I The one that just popped in my head which would be hard to describe But because I was thinking about the keg greater because we inherited it

It's something large that you inherited from the guys before they didn't want to move out. That was always the bomb. It was always like the biggest bomb. Like I can't bring this home to my parents. I was thinking like, did I make a kegerator? There's like, no, it was just the dudes before us couldn't move it out. We also got their TV. That was like an old one of those TVs that weighs like a thousand pounds.

Yeah. The real deep ones. Yeah. We had one relatively flat screen and then one super deep that were there were different colors too. One was gray and one was black and you just set them up on the table so you can watch two football games at the same time. All right. What else did we miss? I had. I just had spitters. Spitters. Oh, I had random workout equipment that's never used like maybe a

Bumbells you have yeah like dumbbells or like a bench But we would use a every time like before we went out every time you just start doing curls I'll be like this is what's gonna get you get us chicks tonight. Yeah, I didn't really know how to word it But like like either hockey sticks baseball bats. I had balls like it's just sporting equipment. I had the Random hockey bag that smells like shit. Yep, cuz that I had that in our apartment and it was gross Empty pizza boxes. Yep, just on the floor on the counter. Yep neon neon beer sign that doesn't work Yeah, we had that we're on sign. Yeah, and yeah, I was like a basement thing of like a house though Yeah, I had a smoke smoke detector with no batteries in it because it started giving the low battery beep

So you just said okay? I don't have a smoke detector in the broken speaker ah George Foreman grill yeah George Foreman grill and the big one where they just remember when they just kept on making bigger and bigger Yeah, and it's like wait. You're just now selling me an oven like a burner. Yeah, so here I should just buy a new oven with this with the stovetop I think along those same lines would be one piece of cooking equipment That's way nicer than everything else that you have so you try to cook everything in that thing So that's an air fryer like one of their parents bought them an air fryer now that we're going to cook everything in the air fryer. Yeah, this is very niche, but like

similar to that a either plastic, a big plastic spoon or spatula that's burnt a little bit. So I fucked that up. It was just like melted a dented frying pan. Yeah, everybody had the dented frying pan. Let's see. A stack of mail. A stack of mail. That's good. I had posters. Oh, shitload of hot sauce. So many different kinds of hot sauce. Just collect hot sauce.

Oh, what I wanted to say, Max, what were you going to say? Now continue. Before we finish, I want to... I think there's a chance that we get, that we get a chance. I don't, I don't know. I like my picks, but a random dude, a random dude is going to be tough. It's going to be like, that's, that was a mistake. Uh, yeah. What I was going to say was the, cause Max, you did the beer poster wall. That is another one where that like to me is more like freshman year. And

then you graduate to the bottle cap coffee table. That's the classy version of it. I had that. Yeah, you go out and you use the coffee table that came with the apartment if it's furnished, but you go out to Home Depot, you get like the plexiglass rectangle cut out. And if you have, and if you have a roommate whose dad was like a really handy guy, maybe worked in construction, you had the bottle cap beer pong table, which was, whew. That's crazy. Yeah, that wasn't made by, that was a summer project with some guy's dad. I had friends that would do it with dip cans, but never actually built it.

They had the idea of like, yo, I'm going gonna get a ton of dip cans And then I'm gonna make a coffee table out of it But then like never actually going through with any of it dude get being a fucking dumbass 20 year old rock Yeah, it was the back all this stuff. We're describing. I'm So I'm like phased out of but I'm just like I that rocked like we were I was so stupid and And thought I was the man and I wasn't but that rocked like we were I was so stupid and and thought I was the man and I wasn't but that rocked Did you guys ever have the big plastic jug that you would either keep the bottle caps in or the the pop tops from the cans? Yeah, just the tops and then you're like look how many beers I've drank Yeah, a piss jug or like something is jog. Yeah something on the wall

That you're trying to snap them into snap the bottle caps into yeah. Oh, like I was missus as a target Yeah Oh speaking of which I feel like a lot of apartments had a dartboard that just didn't work either was like didn't you lost the darts? We had a nice dart board really darts a lot shit like that where it's like we would just have shit And it would be cool in theory, and it would just be broken within a day And then it would just sit there big miss on our part a hole in the wall. Yeah Yeah, that's a big big mess Big mess that could so many random holes in the wall And you're like I'm gonna fix this before I move out and you have like three hours on move out day

That's a good gosh shit does anybody know how to do drywall. Yeah, I think if you guys tie It's a dual. I think it's a dual and I think it's I think it's a I think Max and I come with a Mount Rushmore that you and I on them I love yes how long do we have to get ready no no right away it's instant like we do it no no that's it that's an invite I think one minute this is the during the show I got it I got it I got it I got it I think it should be me max and memes all come up with the Mount Rushmore and it's a three game series duel So they like so it's it's head-to-head and we'll do a poll at 11 best Yeah, best of three you got to win two out of three. Oh

Cuz then we have a little flexibility where someone can't be like, oh this one was slanted towards me It'll be three randoms. None of this is gonna matter. We we did I think there's a good chance oh man I I think again hey your picks again I still think you could come in second place yeah you could I think I think I just threw a pick it was like the end of that Colts Texans game that decided the the rest of the history of the NFL I just threw a big pick at the end of it with random dude dual. Hey, what was your? Again, yeah, I want to know one more time you tell me you tell me what you thought my sports jerseys sports jerseys expired food Yeah, that's rock expired food rock a massive bong

And full-size trash cans Wow Full-size trash cans. I don't love, but the other three I'm very high on. But for the fourth pick, none of this matters. But I appreciate you guys patronizing me. You're right, I think Hank's gonna win, I think I might come in last place. This would be awesome. This would be one of my favorite things

that's happened on this show. Big time fumble at the goal line. You're good, you're good. I had Desmond Rittery. Dual, dual, dual goal line. Hey, you're good. I doesn't your Gucci do to do to do to do You guys having to do Mount Rushmore's off the dome. Oh, I'd be so good. We should do a real dual paintball guns We could do that too. Gotcha Gotcha I Watched that clip every like couple months and I just laughed so it's really shout out Jake

He did a great job on the creators cup. He did. Yeah, Jake. I saw Jerry's tweet He was dominating the desk. Yeah, he was why he was man-spreading with his shoulders his outfit. All right, let's get to our interview We got a college football preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Frinelli and then we have Joey chestnut random, dude It's tough one Before we get into Tom Frinelli and Brandon Walker, they're brought to you by our great friends over at Coors Light I love Coors Light mountains are blue. I actually had a Coors Light last night I drank a Coors Light had a little birthday celebration with the Beeve

Mountains were blue and it's college football week and there's a lot of big rivalry games coming up You can choose chill with the world's most refreshing beer during these rivalry games. If you're at the Whiteout you're gonna need to choose Chill because you're wearing all white supporting the Miami Hurricanes unfortunately. Coors Light, mountain cold refreshment that can chill even the most heated rivalries. If you're looking to keep Chill there's only one beer to choose that's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold so you know when your mountain cold refreshment is ready for you to choose Chill.

When things heat up, choose Chill, then crack open a Coors Light. Coors Light is the one to choose when rivalries heat up. So when you're looking to cool things down and enjoy the game, you can choose Chill and reach for Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart or GoPuff by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. And now here's Tom Frinelli, our college football expert and also Brandon Walker. Okay. We now welcome on our college football expert, Tom Frinelli and Brandon Walker as

well. Go on, sit down. What are you doing? Sit down. You're going to shake his hand. We get sit down and talk in the mic. We're recording. We're podcast. We're recording. We have our college football extra time for an alien Brandon Walker here talking to Mike Brandon. We want to do a big time college football preview. Brandon welcome to Pardon My Take. You've never recorded in this studio before. Five years. Five years I've been waiting to do this. Well you think we were at, Tom's been on the show ten times. I know, I figured you could use my experience. I could help you out, show you the ropes about

how you talk college football on this show. I do well talking college football. First of all, it's good to meet you. You and I have gone back and forth many times on Twitter. What do you guys go back and forth about? Oh, nothing. We're just getting the mix a little bit together, right? We just talk ball. Is Brandon a Tom reply guy?

No, no. Tom's more of a Brandon reply guy than I am a Tom reply guy. We had the bowl game against each other, and that kind of really fueled the rivalry. Oh, yeah, the Illinois. So Brandon, did you think there was going to be a twist? That shows how stupid I am. Not once did I consider. Maybe I'm an egomaniac because I was like, yeah, it's about God damn time. It's about time. And not once did I think they're luring me into something. Yeah. Tom is our number one college football

person. He is. You've never really given anybody else a chance. I know Andy Sabel's got chances. He's going to have you need to know what what Chalupa to get in Oklahoma City. That's your guy. But we're talking ball. I don't think they're saying Chalupa. Tom talks ball. Stillwater then. Whatever. I just want to make sure you know, this was my idea.

They had nothing to do with it. Yeah, that's true. They asked me to come on again like they always do. I know both these sons of bitches. This was not your idea. No, my idea. I can show you the text. Yeah, this is Tom. Listen, this was all you. You got you got outflanked. I said I want Brandon on with me. Well done, Tom. Listen, we I mean, this is we got our two the two best college football minds sitting on the couch. Exactly. This is gonna be great. I want to get into it. Let's start with takes. I can't fucking believe. I walked in here and now what's in my mind? I go, I wonder who's

sitting on that couch. No, don't fuck. All right, go. Go sorry. I'm starting my takes number one college football like. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I guess let's start with, let's start with the playoff and we'll work our way backwards. Do you guys wanna do a playoff draft in front of us? Are you a playoff guy? I am, I think this day is a long time coming for college football.

Anybody that says college football is worse off for the playoff is lying or just grifting or something because more seats at the table is good for everybody and it doesn't diminish the regular season. Excuse me, it doesn't diminish the regular season. Tom's never done that. It's a mistake. It doesn't diminish it at all. It makes us have way more games that matter in November. I love the playoff. But can't you argue that like Florida State losing to Georgia Tech on Saturday is already kind of diminished because a couple years ago that loss completely fucks

their season It makes it even more fun. Whereas now no immediate reaction is herbie getting on Twitter It's not because but you could still get in there every game means more in their season is absolutely fucked now that team That could be technically no, it's still We're not talking technicalities that team to play it on Saturday is not a playoff team in a 14 format out for a 12 Team play format a 30 team format. That's not a playoff team in a 14 format, a 12 team format, a 30 team format, that's not a playoff team, that's an average football team we saw. I don't know if I'd call it average. I don't think it looked good, that's for sure.

Like I don't think- If that wasn't average, what is? We agree that Florida State should not have been the 10th best team in the country as far as the AACC goes. Right. Anybody who looked at that team and voted them to be in the playoff or be number 10 should not have a vote. But the preseason votes are always bullshit. But when I look at the rest of the ACC,

I don't think Florida State's a team that can't win the ACC already. If they can't put, if they get bullied, and I mean absolutely bullied at the point of attack by Swin Tech. How many teams have Georgia Tech's offensive line? Clemson's gonna be able to bully them. Clemson?

You're arguing Clemson has a great offensive line. I know, I'm saying Clemson as a whole team is a bully team. I think Clemson's defensive line will be able to bully Florida State's offensive line which also didn't get any push after that first drive. Dabo's not a bully he's not even taking calls on his radio show. He got bullied by Tyler from Spartanburg. No no no he responded well to that. Why by shutting him out by censoring free speech? He stood up. Dabo's got that drip. Which team am I describing right now? Bad quarterback who's been around for a while. We know exactly who he is. Questionable offensive line, questionable receivers, questionable

defensively in the second. I think you're attempting to describe Clemson, right? And who? Florida State. Florida State, yeah. You really don't know college football. No, I just told him exactly who he was thinking about. But Clemson, here's my thing about Clemson. I know Cade wasn't great last year. I really know he wasn't great. DJ, we've seen him not be great at multiple spots. And gaming against Notre Dame. And people still thought DJ could do it. Cade, I think second year in the system with Garrett Riley, guys can get better from year to year, especially if they stay in the same system.

If you transfer every year, you're not getting better. But I think Cade is in a spot where he could improve. Do you guys? Through Allers, same way, by the way, in the Big Ten. Yeah, which I disagree on that. Do you think Dabo will ever go to the transfer portal? Yes. You think he'll have to eventually? I think he's going to have to, yeah.

It's crazy that he's not. He just, they have a single transfer? No, it's them in the three services. They lost a couple, yeah. They lost a couple. They didn't gain a couple. Can't tell me Caleb Downs can't help them? But don't you think he's got an opportunity? Probably could. Yeah, probably could. I don't think he has the opportunity to be the counterculture to the transfer portal because if he's getting guys out of high school and actually developing them in the face of everybody else going the easy way. But you've

got to win first. But hold on. Opportunity exists. Do I think he can pull it off? No. But hold on, there's two ways to use the transfer portal. You could do the Lane Kiffin where you just get a new team every year, the Deion Sanders, or like in Ohio State who's like, hey, we got a couple holes, let's just, let's fill the three or four holes that we have. How could you not want to do that? So that can work. It absolutely can work. It also not work. Like Florida State did that this year. But depth is never a problem, especially with how many games they got to play now.

I just think with the, in the era of college football, everybody's going to the portal, everybody's going to the cupboard and Dabo is, Dabo is, and I think Dabo's been a full of shit guy his whole career. He is not full of shit about this. He's living exactly what he's saying, and I think it could work. He's got a sophomore class that last year took some lumps on that defensive line, especially. I think they're going to be loaded this year. We'll just start with the ACC because we're already talking about it. If it's not Florida State or Clemson, is it Miami? Yeah, Miami. It fucking better be Miami's rosters loaded is it is the is the

Seat warm for Cristobal. I feel like he's still got anything less than nine and three. I think the seats warm Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, I'm with him. I know he has Clemson winning the ACC I was just trying to make a point. I have Clemson winning the ACC too. Oh, wow I do think receiver wise they're gonna be better than they were last year So this guy's just baiting me. No, that was a podcast. It was a thought exercise. Yeah, you can't just all agree on everything No, no, obviously obviously like if Dabo is if he's able to do this without using transfer portal That would be incredible in this day and age. He's had resounding success before but this is a new style of college football this is a new way to build a team.

And it seems to me like if he's not willing to go to the portal, then he's just going to lose players over the years. I think Dabo can win the ACC without using the portal because I don't think the ACC is that good. I think it is a three-team league and then there are good teams. There's the NC States, there's your Virginia Techs, but those aren't like teams that I'm looking at as title contenders. I think he can win the ACC, but without using the portal, when he gets to the NC States, there's your Virginia Techs, but those aren't like teams that I'm looking at as title contenders. I think he can win the ACC,

but without using the portal when he gets to the playoff, I think they're probably gonna get their ass kicked. They don't have the depth to compete with those other teams. So I think that when you look at what Clemson has been the last few years, there have been obvious holes on that roster. You knew going in, they could use help.

Everybody needs help on the offensive line, they don't exist in the portal for the most part. But you knew they needed help at wide receiver. They never went after him. It could have made a huge difference. Kion Coleman. Yeah, you could have gone after Kion Coleman. I don't know if you already could Duncan shorts

or in jeans. But like, I think that that is the one aspect that really is gonna cut him short. And I think that if they keep failing, he will change his approach. He will realize I need to do something if I wanna get to the title game. Yeah, what's up, Hank?

Are you just putting Tom's mic closer? Oh, my bad. No, you're good. Good producing, Hank. I'll just swallow it like Brandon is, like this. No, that's how you do it. He didn't have a second lunch. I'm just saying, the mics in my studio

don't have to be this close. Megan brought me banana pudding. Okay, so you did have your second lunch. What about Dark Horse? In the ACC or completely? Well, I was gonna throw you out one and then get your reaction. Go ahead. Virginia Tech Hokies. I don't know if they're Dark Horse. I think they're getting a lot of love. They bring 18 of 22 starters back. They got Kyron Drones, a good quarterback. I actually don't like them as much as most people. That's why I like Vanderbilt, my plus 13 and a half this weekend. They bring

back 18 starters off a team that went six and six. This isn't, they didn't go nine and three. I think they're pretty good. I like NC State a little bit more than Virginia Tech. You did just mention Cade Clubnick in the second year under an offensive coordinator, can improve, did you not? I did. I think Kyron Jones in his second year as a starter can improve.

And I think Kyron Jones, between his size, his arm and his mobility, I watched a lot of their tape last year and he took over for Grant Wells who got hurt. He becomes a starter, he transfers for Baylor. He was kind of eh at the start of the season. As you'd expect a kid without much experience. But as the year went on and they got more familiar

with what his strengths were and what he could do, that offense started getting pretty damn good towards the end of the season. They've got a couple good running backs. They've got good receivers. The offensive line I thought was okay. That is one of the bigger hindrances I think for that team, whether that can take a step forward. Defensively they got a couple good running backs. They've got good receivers. The offensive line I thought was okay. That is one of the bigger hindrances, I think, for that team, whether that can take a step forward.

Defensively, they got a couple guys. I don't think they're spectacular, but I do think in the ACC, whereas we're talking about Clemson, Florida State, Miami, after that there's a whole hell of a lot of wiggle room. I do think Tech could take advantage of that, because when you look at what they have with the experience with the quarterback

and with a schedule that I think is kind of friendly, all things considered, they could be in the hunt for like an ACC championship game appearance. And there's always, there's always Beamer Ball just kind of like, you know, if they block a punt, it's Beamer Ball. So anything that happened basically between like 95 and 02,

if it happens again, it just goes back to them. Beamer Ball. Oh, Beamer Ball. Yeah, if they do anything that's like, you know, outside of regular offense and defense, it's Beamer Ball. If they block a punt, it's game over. Yeah, it's pretty back to them. Beamer ball. Beamer ball. Yeah, if they do anything that's outside of regular offense and defense, it's beamer ball. If they block a punt, it's game over. Yeah, it's pretty much what I've heard.

It just goes back to anything you saw five or 10 years ago. DJ's good game against Notre Dame. He's always that guy. He was incredible. Virginia Tech will always have a speedy guy that will recruit from the track team to just stand on the edge for field goals and just run as fast as you can at the holder.

Beamer ball. Yeah. I had a thought, and I want you guys to jump to the Big 12, which is, I think, going to be the fast as you have to hold a beaver ball Yeah, I had a thought and I want you guys to will jump to the big 12 Which is I think gonna be the funnest conference to watch because it just feels like there's I don't know six eight teams that could win it the big ten oh No, the big 12, yeah, Utah 55 to 1 is that crazy to win the national title? I know they're probably not going to win the national title. No, no, no, that's crazy.

Okay, but hear me out. Hear me out. I know they're not going to win the national title. If they win the Big 12, they could potentially get the 3 or 4 seed. And they could be by already, you know, you got your first game. Say they get the 4 seed and they play the 5 seed, maybe it's Notre Dame. Yeah. That's a coin flip game. And yeah, you're basically betting on Cam Rising being not injured for the entire year which is not a great bet. But I don't know. It's more of a, I don't think they're winning the national title. I think I'd get in a spot where I could maybe hedge. Yeah, if you want to get in a hedge spot, I mean they are- It'd be a hedge bet. They have the lowest odds to make the playoff of any big 12 team. So I mean they could get

to the playoff and they could put you in a hedge spot. I personally don't like them that much.off of any Big 12 team, so I mean, they could get to the playoff and they could put you in a hedge spot. I personally don't like them that much. I don't like them as much as most people like them this year. Who do you like in the Big 12? Kansas State. That's what everyone loves. Who do you like?

Kansas State. Okay, let me throw this idea at you. I've thrown it out there on Twitter and everything, but Utah's main advantage in the Pac-12 was when they would play USC and UCLA and Arizona State and all those, they had a distinct physicality advantage and they could bully those teams. Now most of the Big 12 you probably can do that too, but you ain't doing that to Kansas

State. They don't play them in the regular season. And you're not doing that to Oklahoma State who they have to go to Stillwater. I know that's their toughest game. They're not bullying those teams and that was their big advantage. It wasn't a talent advantage, it was a toughness advantage and that's gone now. That's why I like Kansas State to win it more than I like Utah. The other side of that, offensively they were still very physical. Last couple years defensively,

you could push Utah around a little. All right, so I won't do it. It's also the camera-izing thing that makes me, I love camera-izing, but he's been hurt a lot. He's been hurt. A lot. All right, so other teams, because there are a ton of teams in the Big 12. I had eight that could win it as well. So list them. So Kansas State, Oklahoma State, Utah are the three at the top.

I think that's, I think Iowa State's right behind those. UCF? I don't have UCF in the group. I got Kansas in the group, but that's entirely based on defense coming a long way and Jalen Daniels staying healthy. I think West Virginia sneaks in that group. Disagree.

You don't think West Virginia sneaks in that group? No. I think the defensive losses are too much. I just think that last year they took advantage of some quarterback injuries and some close games and I think that this year there could be a come up and for it. I think I'll dismiss Kansas real quick there. No I just brushed them off. I didn't brush them off I put them in the group but again Jalen Daniels has never played a full season healthy and if he doesn't they don't have a chance. Yeah they don't have a Jason Bean this year behind him and And also, I think another thing that's under discussed too is Andy Kotelnicki, their offensive coordinator,

has left to take over at Penn State. How does that offense look without him with a new play caller there if Jalen Daniels goes down? Because that was one of the things that really impressed me about Kotelnicki was the last couple of years with Daniels not being available, the way he was able to keep things going at the pace that they were with Bean.

And it was just really impressive. So I don't know. I think the thing about the Big 12 is my hot take about the Big 12 is that nobody is coming out of that league with fewer than three losses. Yeah. I think it's gonna be four, nine, and three. A one-bid league? A one-bid league. Yeah, for sure. Interesting. I think in my playoff I had two teams. I had Oklahoma State and Kansas State making it. It's gonna be hard to get two in the room. You don't even have Utah making it. I don't have Utah making it. Cause.

Their schedule's not tough. Schedule's not that tough. I just think their advantages, they had it with Pac-12 are gone and I think I like Kansas State better. I like Oklahoma State better. They do have like a Gen X quarterback in Alan Bowman, which kind of worries me.

He's been around a very long time. Yeah, he's seven years. He's Brandon Wheaton, yeah. So I think, Mike, my concern about Oklahoma State is it's like it's a Mike Gundy team. So you expect a certain level of competence. I just worry that they're too dependent on Ali Gordon and Ali Gordon got so many touches last year and you come back and if you're trying to rely on him to that same level, we've seen running backs break down. What happens if Ali Gordon suffers an injury? That's a team who sees him can go

down and his punishment for the DUI is a hundred carries, right? Yeah. Mike Gundy said that. Beneficial to the team. Yeah. It's going to give him more work. Yeah. That'll teach him. I want to defend Mike Gundy here. I was drunk driving here today.

Yeah. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I saw your park job. Does Gundy have the disease or the syndrome that when he's hyped up and good, they never live up to it, and when he's not hyped up and good, that's when they can sneak out 10 wins? I think there's definitely a correlation there. They never deliver up to it. And when he's not hyped up and good, that's when they sneak out 10 wins. I think there's definitely a correlation there. They never

deliver when they're the favorite. That's Mike Tomlin. Yeah, college Mike Tomlin. Yeah. Mm hmm. There's so many similarities between those. Alright, so let's talk Big 10. I obviously Ohio State is the favorite. They have what that's the best Ohio State team on paper in a long time. Yeah. I think Oregon's gonna be very, very good. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're talking about number two and number three. I understand. But who else? I know Brandon's high on Penn State. He's a Drew Aller apologist. Guy had 29 touchdowns and two interceptions. He just couldn't beat Michigan

and Ohio State last year. I don't think that's that big of a sin I with no receivers on his team by the way I am NOT a drew Al or hater by any stretch of the means but I think part of the reason he didn't throw any interceptions is because he never took any chances yeah and that's kind of like the Chaudhuri situation with Colorado where it's like everybody talks about how he didn't turn the ball over it's like we would wait till the guy was wide open before throwing it I think he needs to get a bit more aggressive but I do think to your point,

part of that was Penn State's receivers last year were so bad that they really weren't getting any separation. And I don't know if they have fixed that as far as personnel wise, but going back to Andy Kotelnicki, like when he was at Kansas, it's not like he was working with four and five star players everywhere up and down that roster.

He was able to scheme guys open and get the plays there. So if he's able to bring what he had at Kansas to Penn State, I do think Penn State is a team that could take kind of that last step that they've been missing. And now that we, they don't have to take that step. The step came to them. Yeah, yeah. They couldn't get in the four team playoff,

but over the last, They'll be in it every year. They would have made six out of the last nine years, they would have made 12 team playoff. But can they win, like that's the thing though, cause like they've been losing to Michigan, they've been losing to Ohio State. of the last nine years, they would have made 12 teams. But can they win? That's the thing though, because they've been losing to Michigan, they've been losing to Ohio State. So the argument would be,

had the playoff existed for the last 10 years, Penn State would have been there six times, how many games would they have won while they were there? I think that Codelnickie could get them to a spot where they could beat Michigan, beat Ohio State, and win a playoff. Fair enough. They finished what?

If you look at their aggregate ranking and then divide it by the number of years, I think they average out about, yeah, they average out about, they would be the eight and a half seed. If they make the playoffs as a 10 seed, that actually feels like a win for James Franklin, right? It feels better if you're in the playoff as opposed to what it's been in the past, which is being number eight in the country, coming on strong at the end of the year, you lose a couple of very blatant, like nationally televised games that rub salt and moon. At the end of the season, you're

like, damn, we were almost really good. Now you can be almost really good, and it's actually better than it was before. Yeah, finishing eighth in a four-team table doesn't work. Finishing 10th at a 12-team table, you've got to see. That's a win, yeah. But what we'll see is we'll see a change in expectation. The talk now with James Franklin, whether you're talking to Penn State fans who don't like him or just you know, national media consensus can't win the big game. We're going to see coaches who are now getting to the playoff and we're saying, well, it would have helped James Franklin's

reputation huge if they'd gotten to the playoff all these years. But once you get there and you don't win anything, it's going to quickly turn into we got to get ourselves a coach who can win a playoff game. So yeah, it's it's double-edged sword I think the fire line is changing too because now that 12 team playoff if you finish 14th that hot seats a lot quicker it is crazy to the expectations when you consider the fact that coaching in this college football season there's only three coaches that have won a national title yeah which is Which is nuts. Yeah. Well, so even hog them all. Yeah. But it's, but it's Kirby, it's dabble and it's Mack Brown. That's it. Yeah. So like that, I wonder how many like, I wonder how many casual fans would be able to name the

third. Yeah. Like I think everybody would get Kirby and they would get dabble, dabble. But I think a lot of fans would be like, shit, I don't know who the third person is. Right. So that's the expectation. That's one of the best gigs in college football, I think. Yeah. The expectations are very low compared to what they were at Texas. But you're expecting out of everyone something that three guys have. Yeah.

Which is nuts. Hard to do. Yeah, hard to do. I got a question about Ohio State. So I've come around a little bit. I'm not the biggest Will Howard guy. I do think he's like a tough gamer. He's a Kansas State quarterback.

That's what, you know, he's not going to light it up throwing it, but he'll make the big plays, get the big first downs. Is there any concern that Ohio State is built to pound teams running the foot? They're almost built like Michigan last year. They're built exactly like Michigan. Just like Michigan last year. But Chip Kelly's the OC.

Mm-hmm. Is there any concern that that doesn't fully match up? No, I think it matches up perfectly. They have the best running back room in the country. Chip Kelly coached Oregon eight years. They led the Pac-12 in rushing eight times. He coached at UCLA seven years. They finished first for seconds seven times.

They're going to run, run, run. And what did Michigan ask J.J. McCarthy to do last year? I'm not saying how good he is. What did they ask him to do? Not much. Throw for 150 yards and a key throw here and there, hand the ball off. And that's what Ohio State's going That's JJ McCarthy to do last year. I'm not saying how good he is. JJ. What'd they ask him to do? Not much. Throw for 150 yards and a key throw here and there, hand the ball off. And that's what Ohio State's going to ask Will Howard to do.

I think. Yeah, because that's the only concern with them is if he gets in a game where he has to throw it deep a bunch, that's not Will Howard. My concern, I think there are Will Howard questions because we haven't seen him in an offense like Ohio State's, but I do think that Ohio State's offense will look a lot different. Like we're saying, it's gonna look more along the lines of Will Howard, which is why they went and got him. Because Kyle McCord, I think if you look at McCord

versus Will Howard talent-wise, there's really not a huge disparity. It's just Will Howard can run. And for a Chip Kelly offense, I think that's important. My biggest concern with Ohio State will be the offensive line. I don't know if they have the line to run the ball as effectively as they want.

And if Will Howard is not giving you that kind of vertical passing threat, then defenses don't have to respect it, then it could become more difficult for them to run. It's just, I think, talent-wise, you look at the rest of the Big Ten, I don't know how often it's gonna happen. Yeah, every time we talk about Ohio State,

there has to be a disclaimer that the nitpicking we're doing is just based on winning a national it's the most talented country yes what could go wrong there's no there's yeah it's it's can they win a national title that's the only question the offensive line certainly is if you had to listen concerned it might be on there but that defense is gonna be the lights out it's gonna be the best exactly added Caleb downs yeah it's gonna be insane it will be just as good as Michigan's defense was last year. Yeah. Do you want 15 seconds to talk about Illinois time? Illinois is gonna go bowling. They're gonna get to at least six wins, probably seven. I think they might have one of the best offensive lines in the Big Ten.

I think they got J.C. Davis, who is a left tackle from New Mexico. You can't find offensive linemen in the portal. Illinois found one. He'll be an NFL draft pick. I think offensively they will look a lot like the Brett teams you used to from Wisconsin. You said a road ball. You said 15 seconds, you said 15 seconds. No, no, no, we got lots.

I'm gonna exceed my Wisconsin time. We'll give three seconds to Mississippi State so that way we can name all the national titles they've won. So. Well how many has Illinois won? Five. No, how many real ones? Five.

Okay. Don't pee on my leg. How many conference titles has Mississippi State won? So how many is Illinois one five? No, how many real ones five? Okay? Don't pee on my leg. How many conference titles is Mississippi State one? Oh, we had one buddy Yeah, we had one. Oh you ever heard of World War two. We won one in the height of All the manliest men were playing college 1941 look it up. Yeah, long story short Illinois offense good Illinois defense Offense good neutral site game lost Leonard. Your quarterback couldn't go to the playoffs at Starville High School. Our quarterback, we had a backup last year throwing for 500 yards a game man. What are you talking about? Neutral site game,

Illinois, Mississippi State was the spread. Oh Illinois by 30. Mississippi State by... Mississippi State is gonna be really bad this year. We've only played once right? That's it. I think that was the only time. Yeah, only time. And Mississippi State won that one. So we own you forever for the rest of time. Until we meet in the playoffs. What a sad couple of teams are. I know. Yeah, me and Brandy just sitting here like, oh, yeah.

Well, yeah, fuck you. Seven wins, maybe. Two midgets in a dunk contest over here. We've been to four bowl games the last 10 years. How about you? How many games is Mississippi State going to win? Five, six. Wait, so back to the Big ten real quick if it's not

Oregon, Ohio State It would have to be Penn State. I think could it still be Michigan. Yes. No, why not 100%? No, why how I'll let you go first. You're a machine hater I just talked about how Michigan last year didn't ask its quarterback to do anything And they still won a national title and now the one thing I hear hammered over the head about why Michigan is going to be bad is well who's the quarterback. If Alex Orji who is a giant man who's very fast is able to throw the football at any rate if he can just be Will Howard I don't see any reason why Michigan can't be as good

as Ohio State because defensively Michigan is still just as good as Ohio State is they have three first round picks on that defense. They might have two top five picks. In the offensive line I think is a huge question. No, no, no. It's bigger than a huge question. But the offensive line last year suffered a whole bunch of injuries and that really did not stop them from mauling people and winning a national title. Sharon Moore, he has somewhat of a history of being an offensive line coach. I'm not worried about them developing a line. It could be a slow start, but Michigan to me

is one of those teams that in September they might look kinda meh, but by the time you get to November when that stuff starts gelling, they might be a really good team who's gonna be like the momentum dark horse in the playoff. Maybe, but Texas early, Oregon in the middle, Ohio State late, that's three losses I feel like. Are you that confident in Texas on the road in Ann Arbor road? Not as much but I do favor Texas to beat Michigan there

I listen I think you really are sanding over the offensive line like this was the best offensive line in the country last year And it is no address the allegations of standing over way up there. It was very good descending over you sand over Over that I have not sanded over Over that very first of all Michigan's offensive line is made of sandpapered over that. I have not sanded over it. You sandpapered over that, Barry. First of all, Michigan's offensive line is made of sandpaper, so how the fuck can you sand over it? You can sandpaper over sandpaper. No, you can't. That's like iron and sharpening iron.

They both get grittier. I think you start a fire if you do that. Yeah. Yeah, wow. You actually gassed them up. So Michigan's offensive line's on fire. They're going to die in a fire. Yes.

And I don't think they're going to be as good. But Alex told you he's so good he doesn't need an offensive. You're half as good at running back as you were last year. And listen, I know. All right. No, no, no, no, no, no. Half as good at running back. Blake Corum was getting three yards of carry. I shit on JJ McCarthy a lot. But you had a guy, they had a lot going on off the field. A lot going on. A lot of

distractions. They're going to have the same damn distractions this year. Yeah, they will. Oh, they definitely won't. You cannot say those are going to be the same. They just received the notice of allegations, but they've got some more text messages. Nothing is going to come from them though. Having Conor Stallions happen in the middle of the season, it will not even, it won't pale in a criticism. You don't have a veteran quarterback to get you through it. You don't have the great offensive

line to get you through it. You don't have the veteran coach to get you through it, even though he was not on the sidelines. He was getting them through it. Now you've got a rookie head coach doing it. I just think this is- Who beat Ohio State. Not a rookie, he did coach last year. There's so much, there's so much- He has more wins over Ohio State and Penn State than 80% of the coaches in the Big Ten.

I'm not saying they're falling off to six and six level, but I think they're going nine and three. Michigan goes nine and three against that schedule. They'll get in the playoffs. I don't know, we don't know what's gonna be around. They'll get in. We don't know what's around them. We don't know what's around them. We don't know what's around them.

They'll get in. They go 9 and 2 into Columbus. They get me about 40 points. You think they're getting in? No, but they're not going to get beat by 40 points. Address the allegation that they got half as good at running back. Well, I'm just saying.

Are you talking about just based on touchdowns? They had the best running back room in the country last year. They bring one back. One's in the NFL. Yeah, but the one that came back is not as injured as he was. Yeah. The guy that they've got is pretty good. He is damn good. He's really good. He's damn good. But I do you think they can win the Big 10? Did you

honestly think they can? I think Brandon is a known Michigan hater. In fact, when Brandon talks about Michigan, there should be a blinking sign on the screen saying Michigan haters thoughts. And then this is not as your thoughts on paper as I've read him though. So I know he's very mean. Yeah, I get it. This team is not as talented as paper as Ohio State and Oregon. No, Dave's very mean to him. This team is not as talented as Ohio State and Oregon on paper. No, on paper. They don't play the games on paper. Ohio State was more talented than them last year.

Yeah, they don't play the games on paper. I mean, Michigan was pretty damn talented. Brandon, they don't play the games on paper. Now say sandpaper. You just talked about sandpaper. Let's sandpaper over that. Yeah. All right, I got to take... We didn't talk about Oregon. We're good. We're really good. Don't get a rules of the man. No. Oh, you don't. Oh, wait, wait. Time out. Brandon and I were in the car together when he was convinced that Dylan

Gabriel was going to Mississippi State. You guys drive to work together all the time. We were we were I don't know where we were going, but he was like, it's going to be announced any second. And as he was saying that Dylan Gabriel to Oregon. So he's got a little bit of Dylan Gabriel bias. I think he's a, I think he's a good quarterback. I think this has him as the Heisman favorites a little bit too much. Yeah. I will say we interviewed what we were in Indianapolis, the cover three podcast and we interviewed Gabriel. We're a large podcast. He was the smallest one of the five of us on the show. It's a tiny man. Yeah. He's not a big guy. It's kind of startling when you see him in person how small he is.

So if he goes down, they have Dante Moore who transferred in from UCLA. He's a highly touted kid out of high school. All he did was throw picks last year. Yeah, and he like wanted to go to Oregon so he could sit, because that was like his goal. He wants to develop and become a better QB. If they're forced to go to him, if Gabriel goes down,

that could be tough for them. And also they they've suffered a couple low key injuries on the offensive line and camp that are somewhat concerning. But again, it's kind of like with Ohio State earlier. You're nitpicking. This is a very talented team that will probably win a lot of games. Okay. What about Washington? Belichick's coach in Washington. Yeah, not very good. They lost everything. I bought Hank the Washington t-shirt and he didn't even fucking thank me for it. No, that's classic Hank. I know. Fuck it. They lost everything and they didn't get, and Jed Fish didn't get anything. They brought him.

Listen, nobody is a more experienced watcher of Will Rogers football than I am. I know, I was gonna say you've lived through this. I have lived through this and it's just not, it ain't happened. It's, he can't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. I don't expect he'll start much if he even starts the year Maybe he'll start three or four games But Washington just too much talent has gone and too much the conference is too hard the they're going into like six and six seven and five That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think Washington's gonna be very good this year I think I think Hank's getting in on the ground floor. So that way you can't call my bandwagon fan

Yeah, I'm high on you USC. I know that's stupid. No, it's not. No, it's not. Miller Moss is fantastic. And that receiver room is as good as anybody in the country. It's the defense. But it's going to be a lot better. Because Alex Grinch doesn't exist there anymore.

He's the safety's coach at Wisconsin now. I mean, that's the thing. Can't fuck that up too bad. Their defense doesn't have to be good. Like Lincoln- It just not miss tackles. Yeah, Lincoln-Riley's Oklahoma defenses weren't what you would consider good,

but they were just good enough. Like I think that if the defense improves and can tackle and just be kind of below average, they'll be good. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. If they brought in Lynn for the bowl game, they were better in the bowl game immediately. Lincoln Riley's Oklahoma defenses were also playing in the Big 12. This team, USC's gonna be playing in the Big 10. Oh, that's right, the home of all those great offenses.

I think there's some fine offenses in the Big Ten. I don't know why I named one. Yeah, I thought Brandon was doing a bit there. Ohio State, Oregon, those are not good offenses. We're just pretending those are not good offenses. They are. They are. But it's not the Big 12.

They can get to eight, nine wins. Ohio State is probably going to run the ball down the throat, yes. I mean the Big 12, the comparable spot in the Big 12 is, Texas Tech is the same level as like, I don't know, no, not even Iowa, Illinois, Indiana. The Big 12 has better offense. Y'all don't think coming into the Big 10 is gonna be a shock for that defense?

I think it's gonna be, but it's- No, I think that they might actually be better equipped for it because they're gonna see more run than they were in the Pac-12. In the Pac-12 they were getting- But they couldn't stop't stop the run Tom they couldn't stop the run or the pass yeah, but UCLA could stop You only have to worry about one it becomes easier to do the other but they got UCLA's Who was UCLA's defense was very good last night well to back up his point? Deanton Lynn who was at UCLA last year his his defensive line was much better than his defensive line.

Yeah, that's true. He's inheriting at USC. But I do think, like, just coaching-wise, because I don't think the problem specifically with USC last year was talent. Like, I don't think they had top-tier talent on the defensive side of the ball. I thought that was a poorly coached team who clearly

did not work on tackling in practice during the season, and it showed on Saturdays. I think there is going to be very much a philosophical change in how they approach that side of the ball and that alone I think will lead to some. Again the bowl game was you could see it right away. Rich keeping that job as long as he did was crazy. Now practice on Lincoln's part. And they got bigger guys. Andy Staples taught us that. It matters.

Yeah. I'm not familiar with Mr. Staples. You want big guys playing us that. It matters. Yeah, I'm not familiar with Mr Staples. You want big guys playing defensive line. Fair enough. Yeah. SEC. I know you disagree with this, Brandon, but I and this is not a hot take because it's still Alabama. But I think Alabama's I think Jalen Miller was gonna be awesome and killing the board's offense. Yeah, I don't. I just think why it took and I was killing don't. I just think. Why? It took, and I know.

What does Kailen DeBoer do? I'm not comparing Kailen DeBoer and Tommy Rees. I'm not. What I'm saying is it took Tommy Rees and that offensive staff about a month to figure out how to best utilize Jalen Milroy. You had to work around his deficiencies. You had to work around the fact

he can't really throw the ball. Okay, but. Had to work around it. And they did. They figured it out. But once they got a playoff and play in Michigan, he was terrible again. the ball. Okay, but. They had to work around it. And they did. They figured it out. But once they got a playoff and played in Michigan, he was terrible again. He just didn't do anything. I mean, they were a snap away from.

That's fine. But it's not like. It certainly wasn't thanks to Jalen Milrow over the way he played. I think Jalen Milrow is a challenge for offensive coordinators, and I think if they had a better quarterback I would be a lot higher on Alabama. Okay. I just think Kaelin DeBoer is a great coach. He is. And he, what

does he do? He schemes it up, especially deep balls with Jalen Milro. That is what he's the lead at. No, he, what? Jalen Milro good at deep balls? He can throw deep balls. He can throw anything in the field. He can physically throw it that far, but he knows where it's going. I agree with Brandon. I agree with Brandon. You don't think he's good at deep balls? No, I agree with Brandon. Listen think I watch a lot of Alabama games last year I saw everything he trucks the ball deep and I'm not saying head receivers capable of running under it I'm not saying we're not exactly I'm but he can't throw in the middle of the field If you were to highlight, it's really balls that he's better at than other things running running

Well, I'm talking about throwing the ball. It would probably be a deep ball for sure Yeah, because if you throw a deep ball somebody goes and gets it looks like a good throw Don't can't he can't throw it don't put a spy on him If you try if you try to use Jalen Milroy to run the Michael Pinnix offense, it's gonna fall apart Well, yeah, yeah, and that's Michael Pinnix. It's gonna fall apart I want to like but he can run a lot better than Michael Pinnix Kaylin DeBoer is a great coach and I think that over the long haul Alabama's gonna be pretty damn good under DeBoer as long as They give him a chance and they don't overreact. That's the problem. Yeah

But you aren't gonna see the Washington offense You saw last year at Alabama with Jalen Milro because he had Michael Pennex and three NFL receivers Yeah, Alabama doesn't have that they've got Jalen Milro who is a chance to be a good college quarterback but I do not think like I think the completion percentage on those deep balls last year is really carrying a lot of weight more than the actual throws. 12 touchdowns, one interception on deep balls. Deep balls.

It's hard to throw an interception on the deep balls. Here's who he is. He can't throw in the middle of the field. Jalen Milrow firmly falls in that category and there are a bunch of teams across the country that have this where you talk about their quarterback and you just say Jalen Milro is Jalen Milro. That's why I'm looking at this. I'm covered three We call them Jag pluses Jag pluses. Okay, like that. Yeah, that's good. Just a guy Really just a little bit more than just yes. Yeah No, just a guy

Jag plus I use Jag a lot, but I can't use Jack plus that's copyrighted copyrighted bud will sue you he is a lawyer No, I know so you don't think Alabama's gonna be good. No, no, no but I can't use Jag Plus. That's copyrighted. Copyrighted. Bud will sue you. He is a lawyer. No, I know. So you don't think Alabama's gonna be good? No, no, no. I didn't say that. It sounds like you said that. I think Alabama will be solid,

but I think the second they lose to Tennessee and Knoxville, the second they lose a game that that fan base isn't expecting to lose, they can lose to Georgia, fine. But if they lose to Tennessee and Knoxville, that fan base is gonna melt down, freak out, and I'm not sure Kaylan DeBoer will be able to ride that ship this year. I think in the SEC, there's

not enough air to go around to support everybody that thinks they're a contender this year, and somebody's going by the wayside. But everyone is still in it. In what sense? The 12-team playoff. The 12-team playoff, but there's eight fan bases in the SEC that think they're going to the playoff this year. Yeah. Eight of them. Half the SEC. Who's the most illusion? Ole Miss. Mississippi State. No, I don't. Eight of them. Half the SEC. Who's the most delusional? Ole Miss. Mississippi State. No, first of all, we know exactly what we're

getting into this year. No, you said five wins, then you said six, and you said five. You don't know exactly. Five, six, and five. The average is five and a half. What? I'm right around it.

OK? Ole Miss, I don't think it's delusional, because I think that roster is very good. But as far as delusional. But Ole Miss is very similar where they kind of like the Penn State that can't beat the good teams. Yeah, lame team has not won those games yet. They can't, but they also damn they went out and got a lot of help. Yeah, I know they did, but they also, it wasn't like they were blowing

out everyone else either last year. No, they were in some scary one. They didn't really, they have the one good win over LSU finished nine and three. That was the end of the game. That was 51 45 on either way. But again, Lane saw every deficiency they had and addressed it with a big time transfer portal. It wasn't like he just went out and got guys for the sake of getting them. He got Walter Nolan to plug the defensive line. He got Prensley.

So you think this might be the year for Ole Miss? And Mince already said they're in the college football playoff. I don't care, he's Carlisle side. Here's the thing about Ole Miss, and this is true about Mississippi State too, and I said it earlier about another team, but every time there's high expectations on a team in Mississippi, it never works.

It has never worked. We only do well coming from the back. I hope, I think they're a great team, I think they're a top 10 team, I hope they're not. I hope they fall, but I think they are. I mean, I think that playoff is a realistic expectation for Ole Miss. I do think it's gonna be difficult, and I do think one of the more interesting aspects of following the SEC now that Texas and Oklahoma

are in the league is that somebody's going to have to be losing these games. Correct. Georgia has a gauntlet of a sport. There's not enough oxygen to support everybody. Yeah, like when you're already leading. Have you hit that line before? It's my line for this year. That's a congestive heart failure thing.

It's very common. When you're already a league that has like five teams that consider themselves legit It's my line for this year. That's a congestive heart failure thing. It's very common When you're already a league that has like five teams that consider themselves legit national title contenders and then you add two more like somebody Is gonna be like the seven and five team that's looking around like what the fuck and there's teams like Ole Miss and Missouri who are Not used to being on this level. Yeah who believe they're on this level this year Is not yeah, I don't think Missouri's gonna. Yeah, I think it's gonna be a rough I think they're an eight and 14 I'll give you some names you tell me if they're delusional by thinking that they should be in the playoff They're all in the SEC SEC fans. Yeah, Texas A&M. Oh

That's delusional. Yes delusional. That's delusional. Yeah, but I don't know that they truly believe that I think they want that and they might believe it in year two But not in year one if they win week one, they're definitely for sure. They're all in then they're all in that changes everything though Okay, Missouri sounds like delusional delusional If they win week one, they're definitely. Oh, for sure. They're all in. Then they're all in. That changes everything, though. Okay. Missouri sounds like delusional. Delusional.

I understand why they think it. They like the coach. Luther Burden's the best receiver in the country. I understand why they think it, but the loss of the defensive coordinator and so many defensive players, it's not happening. Also we're just papering over that they beat middle Tennessee by like three, and they needed a last-second field goal to beat Kansas State. Kansas State, Florida, they needed a fourth and 18.

We did paper over it, yeah. Sandpaper over it. Sandpapered over it. Tennessee. I think they're a legit playoff contender. I've got them as my number 60. I think Nico is the best QB in the country. Really? Yeah. I'm not going that far yet but I think if he is as good as I think he is, we've seen what their team can do when they or what Hypo can do when they got a great quarterback. Tom, why do you say he's the best quarterback in the country when We've seen what their team can do, or what Hypal can do when they got a great quarterback. Tom, why do you say he's the best quarterback

in the country when we've seen him play one game? Because I think that you don't need to see the one game. Like three years ago, I was telling you Caleb Williams was the best quarterback in the country, and he wasn't even the starter on Oklahoma. I'm telling you, Nikos the best quarterback in the country. I love it. Size-wise, talent-wise, ability-wise,

fit in the offense that he's in, which is an offense that somehow made Joe Milton into an NFL quarterback. Did you watch the Monday football game though? No, I can't say that. So Chris Collinsworth was just gushing all over. It was a glazed fest for Joe Milton, which I love because anytime somebody gets their eyes on Joe Milton for the first time, they just fall in love with the guy.

So Collinsworth spent about five minutes talking about how Joe Milton told him before the game that if he wanted to feed on the goal line, he could throw the ball 95 yards in the air. He probably can, yeah. Which is so awesome. It is awesome. And pointless. It's useless.

It's not pointless because it's so much fun to watch. Great deep ball. You just hate deep ball. I found that out. No, there's no reason to throw it 95 yards. All right, but no more Joe Milton. Nico is vastly different than Joe Milton. Could be any different from Joe Milton. Nico could throw to all parts of the field. Nico is mobile. I just, I think that him in that offense with what they

have, that is going to be a really tough team to beat. And they're really good around him. The front seven is fantastic. Secondary needs a little, it's going to be some smoking mirrors with the secondary. Tennessee is a team that you can can argue like I'm saying they have the best QB in the country. You can also say the best defensive player in the country and James Pierce. Yeah. So like you put those two things together. Those teams tend to be pretty good. They've got a schedule schedule. It's all about that at Oklahoma. It's all about. They have to go to add Oklahoma. They have to go to add Georgia and Alabama home and Alabama at home.

I don't think they'll win. And I think they'll beat Alabama. I think they'll beat Alabama as well. And they have to go to at Georgia. And Alabama at home. And Alabama at home. I don't think they'll win in Georgia, but I think they'll beat Alabama. I think they'll beat Alabama as well. And they also have Mississippi State at home, which would be tough. I feel like having a great pass rusher is going to be pretty important for an offense like that. Yeah.

Make him look even better as a defense event. What about LSU? I don't love them. Yeah, it's delusional. It's kind of a USC situation. It's hard to say LSU is delusional, because you know the talent talent just brimming out of that state and on that roster. But last year the roster was

talented and they had the worst defense in the country and I know they went out and got the LSU fan to argue down. You know we have the best defensive staff in the nation now. They got Bo Davis for defensive line. They got Blake Baker for defense corner. That's great. You're not going from 130th against the pass to to like 30th. You're you might go to 70th but I don't think it's good enough. And the defense gets marginally better. The offense is definitely getting marginally worse

without a Heisman winning quarterback and two first round receivers. Yeah. Their offensive line though is big. It's really good. They've got two great tackles. I think that there's a lot of people high on Garrett Nussmeyer, who we have not seen a whole lot of, although you got a front row. They're all LSU fans though. Yep. But no, I know what non-LSU fans were big on Nuss. But to your point, it's again it's like a USC situation.

They lose a Heisman Trophy winning quarterback. They lose two first round ride receivers and that defense sucked ass last year. And how much better can that defense get? Doesn't have to be great if Nussmeyer is as good as Jayden Daniels but we don't know that he's as good as Jayden Daniels. There was a report that Harold Perkins has overweight. Good, it's about time. I know. But that was the whole thing, where it was just like, because everyone was wondering what the hell happened to Harold Perkins.

Harold Perkins is in the running for weirdest career ever. Ever. Yeah. A four sack game? He's only going in his third year. Like the freshman Harold Perkins, you think this is the best college football player I've ever seen in my life.

And then he just doesn't show up for his sophomore season. They don't put him in the right spot. Now, who knows where he is this year? He's also got a 70-year-old man's name. Harold Perkins is not a great name. No, he can't. That is not a college student. There's never been a college student named Harold Perkins.

Does Harold Perkins have aura? No. The name doesn't, but the guy does. Maybe Jason Tatum. All right, what other teams? He's got clogged ear with it. What other teams? Let's see.

Vandy. Probably going to be pretty bad. Yeah, I don't think Vandy's making the play. Okay, so Florida, are they delusional to think that they can win five games this year? No, I don't think so. I'm torn with Florida, because I have just shit on Napier forever,

because they fired Dan Mullen to hire a guy who's got 50% of his ceiling. But Napier is a bad coach, but I think he's built a pretty good roster. I think the roster is better than the coach. I think they can win, first of all, I think they can win this week against a Miami team I love. And then I think they can win seven games. Have you seen their last four games?

Oh yeah, it's LSU, OMS at home, Georgia. Top ten teams. Yeah. But one on Florida State, that's already taking a hit. So but I think talent wise, yeah, they're good. I think Billy Napier is a very good developer of quarterbacks and I think we saw some of that last year with Graham Mertz who went. Said look pretty damn competent with the Gators more confident than he did

with the Badgers, but I also think the X factor there is the guy behind Mertz. If things start going sideways, if they bring in DJ Lagway, that could be kind of like a spark plug to really make Turn that season around a little bit make them far more competitive late in the year, but I think they can get to a bowl game It's just with that schedule. It's it's impossible to think they're gonna get to the playoff I don't think the schedule is gonna end up being as hard as we think okay right now there last seven games I'm gonna go seven games at Tennessee lost Kentucky at home win at Florida Georgia in. Kentucky at home. Win.

At Florida, Georgia, in Jacksonville. Lost. At Texas. Lost. Home against LSU. Winnable. Winnable. Home against Ole Miss.

Winnable. Winnable. Yeah. OK, and then at Florida State. Winnable. Winnable. We don't know what LSU and Ole Miss. I think both are volatile.

I like Ole Miss better than I like LSU. But by November, both of those teams could either be in the tank or be in the top five. What about Oklahoma and Texas, the new guns? All right, Tom, I gotta talk to you about Texas. Okay, go. I've been going through some emotions about Texas. I've got Texas in the playoff.

Okay. I think the quarterback is great. I think the offensive talent's great. Offensive line, especially the tackle, is great. How easy is it? They are glossing over. They're just kind of really sandpapering over the fact that they lost Byron Murphy and Devondre Sweatt in the middle. And you're going to the toughest running conference in the country and you lost your running defense. I like them, but I can see them falling apart too.

Yeah, no, I'm with you. I think that, I think Texas people are expecting a little too much from coming into the SEC and I think the other side people are sleeping a little too easily on Oklahoma. But I agree with you. I feel like defensively that is a team that could run into some serious problems because between Murphy and Sweatt, like that's not, it's not a Georgia situation where when they lost their guys, they had more monsters behind them ready to replace them. They got big people in Texas. They do. They don't have them on the Longhorns depth chart

right now, so... Yeah. So you got to get some of them. Get some churros. Yeah, send Charles to San Antonio. So we need fat San Antonio women on the defensive line. Yes. I mean, if that's what Sarke should be doing right now,

he should just be walking the river walk, looking for defensive tackles. He's done worse, yeah. OK. Instead of focusing on stripper muckies. They're still around. They got married, Brandon. Well, love is love, guys.

Yeah. Pole Assassin turned in. Pole Assassin, stripper mucky. What's your hottest take? For all of college football? All of college football. The one that you're like, you feel like you're out on a limb. Mine's Alabama. Mine's Alabama and it's not I don't think it's I don't think Alabama is going to have a bad

year because of the roster talent or because of Ken and the board being a bad coach. I truly think they're going to they're going to plumb new depths of fan base irritation and fan base just throwing themselves off the mountain as soon as they lose a game they're not expecting they're going to lose to Georgia. As soon as they lose a game they're not expecting, they're gonna lose to Georgia. But as soon as they lose another game they're not expecting, that fan base, I mean we saw Auburn, Auburn fans made up a fake affair rumor about their coach to try to get him fired

a couple years ago. Alabama's gonna go further than that. God knows what these hillbillies are gonna do. I don't know what they're gonna do when they get mad at Kaelin DeBoer. Everything's nice right now. They don't want a guy named Kaelin DeBoer who's never been in the South as their coach when it goes bad. It's an oxygen problem. It's an bad thing. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm

not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm

not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm

not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm

not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not, I gotta I gotta let me ask about that. Let me probe there. Probe. Can I probe? Probe. And my first car was a 93 Ford Probe. Remember those? So, I don't think Venables is a very good coach. I think they were a soft, a soft, a soft 10-2 last year. I can see your argument that they were

soft 10-2, but the problem is like we talked about Dylan Gabriel going to Oregon. I think they actually upgraded a quarterback. What, Jackson Arnold? I think Jackson Arnold will be a step forward for them. I think he is a great player. I think he's gonna have an excellent season. The question for me is, I think defensively they got better last season. The question will be how do they handle

the grind of facing LSU offensive lines all season? Because they were able to kind of maneuver in the big 12 way that I'm not 100% sold that they will be able to do here. That schedule's nasty too. Yeah, the schedule is nasty, but I just think if Jackson Arnold's as good as I think he is, that's gonna be a really good Sooners team.

Not gonna win the SEC, but your concerns about Texas are shared with me, so I could see that Longhorns losing four games in the SEC. But they don't have, Oklahoma doesn't have the receiver talent for Jackson Arnold that Baker Mayfield had, even that Jalen Hurts had. They don't have the receiver talent for Jackson Arnold that Baker Mayfield had, even that Jalen Hurts had. They don't have the receiver talent they had five years ago.

No, but I think that you can overcome that with a great quarterback. Yeah, but it would certainly help. It would certainly help, especially when you're going, when you got Tennessee coming in one week, you got Alabama, you got all this, like it's Ole Miss coming in. The other wild card is their offensive line.

I know Oklahoma Sooners fans have serious concerns about it and I get it, but I think that Bill Biedenbaugh over the years has done a tremendous job developing offensive lines. What a name. So I give him credit. You could have just made that up. No, he's a real person.

I thought it was Biedenbaugh. Bill Biedenbaugh. Is it Biedenbaugh? I thought it was Biedenbaugh. I've always said Biedenbaugh. I've called him Biedenbaugh to his face. I like, did he react? No. Have you ever called him Biedenbaugh to his face? Never of his face. I like, did he react? No.

Have you ever called him bed and bod of his face? Never touched his face. Speaking of Oklahoma while we're on the subject, how are you on Levy? I'm excited. He came in and he's not scared to recruit, he's not scared to at least try to recruit, he's not scared to go after guys.

I would hope he'd be not scared to recruit. Our last guy was terrified. You missed it, he's not scared to try to recruit. No, no, you understand what I'm saying. What a hire. Our last guy was terrified. You missed it. He's not scared to try to recruit. No, no. You understand what I'm saying. What a hire. Our last guy was terrified of battles. Our last guy was not going after it. And Mike Leach, frankly, he would recruit you if you said no one time.

He's like, all right, I'll just go. So we haven't had that. We haven't had to compete in recruiting battles in a while, or we haven't gotten to compete in recruiting battles. Offense will be a lot better. Defense is probably going to be really bad, and hopefully he fixes that in the off season. Who, what coach is on the hottest seat? Billy Napier for certain.

What about Ryan Day not beating Michigan? I think, and this is an oxygen problem, I think you're gonna see quicker hot seats than you've ever seen before. Like in the SEC. Too much oxygen. That's more oxygen because it ignites quicker. Fine, in the SEC, if oxygen that's that's more oxygen because it ignites quicker Yeah, I in the SEC if Brian Kelly like goes seven and five this year

I think that seat heats up real quick real quick I think Brent Venable seat could heat up real quick if they come in and go six and six in the SEC I think Oklahoma fans are a little too much like to pot committed with Brent right now We're so fucking like they would six Six and six two years ago last year that kind of had a fluke you ten and two if they were to go six and six Again in a new conference. That's hot. He'll get the new conference excuse though. What about what about Ryan Day? If he doesn't beat Michigan, he's in trouble. I mean if he doesn't be Michigan. He's in real trouble. I real trouble I I think he's gonna beat Michigan, but I think he's in real trouble if he doesn't be Michigan

I think if he doesn't beat Michigan, he better win the national title who's sneaky on the hot seat sneaky on the hot seat sneaky on the hot seat How like Brian Kelly, yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, cuz I think he looks safe. He looks really safe He won the division his first year went nine to three last year But again like that by out like for him the reason their defense was so bad He hired a bad defensive coordinator last year and he tried to fix it He went out and spent a lot of money if it doesn't fix is. Is dabble sneaky on the hot seat? No. Cause they just would never fire him. I don't think I think like if, if dabble had a bad year, would there

be he would go in the next season on the hot seat. I don't think they would pull the trigger. Okay. I, I think to Clemson's fans, he would be on the hot seat. I don't think that yeah. Right. Right. Right. Cause there's a difference Yeah, there's guys that they just nothing's gonna happen Yeah, especially cuz they don't know how much they're gonna have to spend to get out of the ACC So the buyout situation could be a hindrance. I mean Franklin right Franklin's not about to say Yeah, it like we just we talked but he's never on the hot seat because whenever he's on the hot seat He just says he's gonna go to USC Yeah, but we talked earlier like, you know

Penn State's a team that should benefit the most from the expanded playoff because now they're going to get in. What if they don't? Yeah. He is an all-time, like, I'm not going to let you fire me, I'll quit. Because every single time he gets on the hot seat, it's like, oh, James Franklin, going here, going there. Let me ask you about one more guy. What about Lincoln Riley?

He doesn't seem that far. I think Lincoln is more likely to jump ship than USC is to fire Lincoln. Well that's the exact same principle he just said. Yeah. Yeah. You can't fire me. I quit. Yeah.

I'm going to be an office coordinator in the NFL. Yeah. But if he doesn't have a good year, he could have trouble finding that kind of gig. Yeah. What about, what does Sam Pittman have to do to save his job? Become a different coach. It's over for him. It's over.

There's not even a seat there. His seat is so hot. His seat is so hot. How hot is it? They went out They were too well together they went out and hired Bobby Petrino Yeah, the guy who disgraced the school who just well know that worked out great for Texas Hey, no, he disgraced the school like ten years ago and they went out and hired him just cuz Sam Pittman's fan I can't coach. He's not hot. That's just syphilis burns a little All right Heisman's Nico Nico Brandon. I like Carson Beck I mean, Sam Pittman's a fat ass, can't coach. Yeah, this is not hot. That's just syphilis. It burns a little bit.

All right, Heisman's? Nico. Nico. Brandon. I like Carson Beck. Yeah. I think Carson Beck's the best quarterback in the country. Georgia could win the national title

and they could lose two games in a row. Their schedule is crazy. For sure. They have four, I think four top 10 games, and three of them are on the road. One's a neutral site. Yes. That'd be in Atlanta. But I mean, they got Clemson's not a top 10 games and three of them are on the road, one's a neutral site. That'd be in Atlanta, but they got Clemson's not a top 10 team, but they got at Alabama, at Ole Miss, at Texas.

It's crazy. It's crazy, but for the Heisman thing, Carson Beck is going to be in marquee spots all season long. Every level of the season, the beginning, the middle, the end, he's going to be there. And then the Florida game, the Tennessee game, like there's others, I think Carson Beck's going to be in marquee spots and he's going to win the Heisman. I already have the future on Nico's Heisman, but I'm telling you, the turning point will

be he'll throw for like 350 and four touchdowns in the Linover, Alabama, and then Nico Mania will be getting national. Nico Mania. The narrative will start. There'll be nicotines everywhere. The issue I would, it's a good bet, I don't mind the bet, but it almost is like the Hooker thing where he beat Alabama, it goes crazy,

and there's a trip to Athens in three weeks, and they just shut you down. Anytime somebody says the Hooker thing. Yeah, I was like, what? Bobby, where are we going now? Hinden Hooker? Well, it was raining in that game. Yeah, sure, didn't matter.

Didn't even get close. You got a group of five. So I had Boise State until they named Amy Schumer their starting quarterback until they named. Have you seen the kid? No, no. Look up Boise State. By the way, I should I should use it looks. He looks like everyone that Hank Bachmeier is the wake for starting quarterback. I've every year he just bounces around and I end up getting losing money and then halfway through the game I'm like, fuck, I bet on Hank Backbier again? Maddox Madsen.

Maddox Madsen. He looks like a Targaryen. Yeah, he looks like Amy Schumer. He really does. That's not even a joke. He looks exactly like her. And they got 18 starters back. They got one of the best running backs in the country.

The schedule is very manageable. I can't bet on a quarterback. He kind of looks like a fatter Cody Lanza. I was going to say, he looks a little bit like Brandon Walker. No, he does not look like Brandon Walker. Yeah. Yeah, he does. Okay, would you bet on Brandon Walker to win the national title?

He looks like Brandon Jogger. Like if you got a little more exercise, lost a few pounds. App State? I got Memphis. Yeah, I think Seth Hennigan's a very good player. He's probably one of the better quarterbacks. I mean, people were going after him in the portal.

Memphis was able to hold on to him. Thank you FedEx. But I do think the Tigers are a team that's kind of flying under the radar, out of the American. Boise, I'm with you. I was with, until they, like the Malachi problems, I'm kind of selling out.

When Jeff Tedford retired again for the thousandth time, I kind of sold stock on Fresno. I don't know, I think Liberty's gonna get the playoff spot. But I don't think- They don on Fresno. I don't know I think Liberty's gonna get the playoff spot but I don't think anyone I don't think yeah they play upstate they do they do yeah I don't think they're the best g5 team I just think they play a dogshit schedule filled in a conference where they have more money than the rest of the league combined we're gonna need a state to handle business yeah like unless you got liberty in the playoff you because that it is and that bowl game last year where they played

whoever the Oregon Oregon Yeah, it just they did not belong there and it was a sham that they got there. So hopefully they don't crash the playoff party That's why I got Memphis. Yeah Okay, I got one last you guys been great together. You guys both know ball. You guys want kiss I like it too because there's a little moment there where you guys were doing like a one-up spin ship of like What offensive line coach or backup tight end can we name? Yeah. And it was like we hit a crescendo that was just beautiful. They kind of, if you look at the wide shot of them on the couch right here, it's like

alternate universe Beavis and Butthead. Yeah. You guys are perfect together. Yeah. Hi, cholesterol, Beavis and Butthead. I actually would say right now, you guys got to just do this every time together. That's fine. Perfect.

I'm down to do it again. Are you? All right. Oh, look at that. All right, so my last question, and I just thought of this and I want to do this right after. So I'm springing on both of you. I don't like this looking.

Row back question. No, no, listen, it's fair. Row back question, rhoback.com promo code take. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback.com promo code take. We gotta figure out who's the college football extra for part of my TAKE. So, I think what we should do

is we should do a draft of the playoff. You guys go back and forth, and we'll give, let's say, one point for making the playoff, and then one point for every playoff win. Is that fair? So it's a season law, it's a, okay, all right. Do we get a trophy? Yeah, we get college, yeah, we'll make a trophy for you. I thought we were gonna do this Is that fair? So it's a season law. It's a okay. All right. Do we get a trophy?

Yeah, we get college. Yeah, we'll make a trophy for you. So we're going to do this just in the event that Brandon Walker won. Yeah, well, we'll just pretend it never happened if it looks like he's going to win. So we're both drafting 12 teams or we're just drafting. You're both drafting 12 teams, but you can no repeats. Okay. All right.

What do we think about that? I made some notes. I was gonna say, are you hiding? Oh, you made some notes. Yeah, I wrote down. You need to keep notes to know who's gonna make the playoff. Wow, I think we know who's in the lead. I wrote down a bunch of this.

Should we do one point for making the playoff? One point for- Two points per win. Two points per win? And if you get a buy, that's our automatic two points that should count as a win? Or how about this? One point to make it, one point for a first round Win two for second three. Yes, because you don't want to wait them the same Yeah, because Ohio State if they get a by one point for winning or for making it one point for first round win two points

Memes write this down second round win three points. No four points for the national champion. Yes, go one two three four Yeah, I just said that you You said one, two, four. No, I said one, two, four. What are the odds any of us remember all this? Yeah, memes get right down. All right. Okay, who would like to go first? Actually, you know what?

We'll do the lottery ball this side. Three. Oh, no. Whoever's closer. Odds or evens, odds or evens. Odds or evens, odds or evens. That would be funny if we made you guys do that. Okay.

Well, let him call it. I'll take odds. Okay. And if you get the number dead on you get the first two picks three oh fuck 71 8 wait I just wait you just fuck you're counting on it doesn't get enough shut the fuck up back you don't get a number yes 71 which fucks him. Yeah, well, no, I would override. It would override. I hope it's eight.

I hope it's three. Ninety four, six, ninety four. That's first pick for me. All right. First pick snake draft, though. So you want the first pick? Yeah. Well, no, actually, it's not a snake draft. It's just one, one, one, one back and forth. It can snake. No, it's not. All right. Hold's just one one one one back and forth. What they can snake not just no

I said, no, I hold on to lottery ball. See if we snake No snake no snake no snake. Do you want first pick or would you like to give it to Tom? I would of course like first pick. Oh, well, that's a very unclassy move by you What do we have the fucking lottery ball machine all the way down here? I drove further No, but that's I mean, come on. He's our guest here every day what was the point I was Tom I would want the second yeah but these are guests come on I'm good would you like the first pick no I'm good Wow no no Brandon out would you listen as the number one college football expert on this podcast Brandon is my guest the

guest that's true good point I'll kick you in the chin. Good point. All right, I'm going first? Mm-hmm. Ohio State. Fuck. Fuck I, Brandon. Add it again.

So I get the next two? No! Yeah. I thought he didn't! Snake. Gee, I'll go with- You get the two after that, Brandon. I'll go with Georgia.

Okay. I feel like they got a chance to be pretty good. I mean, somebody told me they got the Heisman at quarterback and good point Tom and then I'll take Oregon. Okay. Fucking me cuz you get two picks. Yeah I got it. I got it. Everybody chill out. Did you say Tom's fucking me? No, nobody's fucking me. Put that on a quote card please. You gotta think about who's gonna get...

I understand, but I don't... I'm gonna do it, cause I believe in him. I'm taking Clemson. Wow. Give me Texas. Texas? Clemson? Okay. Give me Tennessee. Mmm, give me Texas Texas Clemson, okay Give me Tennessee, okay

Give me Penn State fuck you. Okay, let's try to see I'm doing the game here. I'm trying to figure out what he wants That's right. I saw his notes. Yeah. Yeah. All right Brandon what he wants next. I saw his notes. Yeah, yeah. All right, Brandon. It's getting harder already, isn't it? Yeah, well the problem is my beliefs and my thoughts about what I said I think is gonna happen, but also I wanna pick a team.

Oh, you're not enough oxygen, you can't pick. No, it's a different, it's a different, I wanna pick Utah, but I already said I don't think they're making the playoffs. Well see, but that way you cover all your bases correct why don't you pick the team that you think is gonna make the playoffs there yeah you're right do you need us to remind you so I'm picking two who's gonna make the playoffs all right so we've already got hold on hold on we already got Ohio State Oregon we got Penn State and the SEC we've picked Texas, Georgia, Tennessee.

Fuck. Neems, are you writing this down because I've already forgotten how to write it. Brandon, you're thinking of Kansas State. If that's where you're gonna go with your big 12 champion. I'm gonna take Ole Miss. Wow. Make sure that graphic just says that. Yeah.

Wow. Get a graphic of like Brandon in red and blue. And Miami. And Grove. And Miami. Yeah. All right. All right, Tom.

You kind of stuck me in Florida State, you son of a bitch. No. I can't believe Brandon took Ole Miss. Yeah. I want to be the number one, I want to be the football expert here. Turning your badge in your cowbell. There's not been a single big 12 team. Yeah, I'm gonna take Kansas State.

Okay, and there's also a really good team that's won a lot of national titles. I don't know why you have to talk like that. I don't know why you have to remind people that there's teams out there. You mean like Alabama? Yes. Like he understands. I know Alabama's out there.

He knows Alabama's out there. You don't have to get sassy about it. I know Alabama's out there. Give me Alabama. All right, good's out there. Give me Alabama. All right, good pick, Tom. Give me Notre Dame. OK. Yeah, shit.

That's a good pick. That's a good fucking pick. That's great value. And Utah. OK. That might be the difference right there. Should we give Tom Notre Dame? No, you shouldn't, because this is a draft.

Yeah, I think so. What do you mean? You and I get to swap one team at the end. Tom gets Ole Miss. Give me Michigan. OK. And I'll take Florida State. I'm not really super thrilled about it.

It's value at this point. No, yeah. How many rounds do you think we could just have them going back and forth before we told them to return? Just name every team. How many teams do you think we could just have him go back and forth before we told him every time? Just name every team. How many teams have we named? You both have, uh, Tom has eight teams. And I have seven or?

You have seven. Okay. I'm running out of teams. Just chill out everybody, everybody relax. More relaxed than you are dude. No you're not. You've never been more relaxed than me in my life. I check my fucking aura ring, it'll tell you right now I'm relaxed.

The fact that you're wearing an aura ring says you're not relaxed. It says he has aura Yeah, I got aura you have diabetes type two The best kind that's gone to gonna to pick one of the two yeah, he can't even get the number one diabetes number one football expert um you got to you don't have one Fuck come on. It's hard, right? Yeah, fuck.

I know, fuck. It's like now we've reached the point where we both have to pick teams we don't actually believe in, so it's like. Yeah, give me LSU. Okay. And Oklahoma State. Okay.

Agreed. Feel like there's a lot of meat on that bill in the Big 12. There is, I'm just trying to, that's the thing, the Big 12 is just such a random number generator. Mm. Mm.

Tough. Give me liberty, they're gonna be in it. Okay. Or give you death. And Utah, Kansas State are the only Big 12 teams you've taken? Wait. I long stay wait to go Oklahoma State Wait, hold on. Well, I You have Liberty. Yeah, no one's taking Oklahoma

Yeah, I'm confident. Yes. Just throwing it out there. I don't want them. Okay, he's not gonna take him So I'll take him later I'm tricking him into taking him who knows He's not gonna take him so I'll take him later. I'm tricking him into taking him who knows We taking USC yet no give me USC good pick that you're both is it I feel like I've got the yeah, I took Liberty in USC I feel like I've got the entire Big Ten except for Ohio State. Well, I'm about to I'm turning fully to the dark side. I've already got Ole Miss Give me Iowa.

Wow. That's a disgusting fucking pick. You're a disgusting fucking pick. Yeah, but I was picked first. They might go 10 and two and be terrible, schedule's easy. Yeah, they might. Yeah, Illinois might go 10 and two too. No, they might not.

No, but that's 100% they might not. Iowa does. Well, you're a big Kade McNamara guy, that's cool. No, I'm not a Kate McNamara guy. What kind of guy are you? It's fun. I'm a Luther Burden guy, give me Missouri. Okay, Missouri.

I don't believe in that one. You just took Missouri and Iowa. Yeah, that was bad. We're at the bottom of the barrel here. No, we are, I can't fault you for it. We're at 23rd and 24th teams in the country. Give me Kansas. Okay. Wait, Kansas is worse than both those teams I just picked. Yeah, because that's how it goes when you draft. Why are you hollering? Why am I hollering? Where are we fucking back in Mississippi? God only knows. I wish we were her.

All right, for the last pick, the 12th pick, you can pick any team the other guy has except for the top three of their picks. So I'll list them for you, and then Brando, you can do the same. But how is that going to be the 12th pick if we're just, yeah, you just, you just, you're right. That's the same amount of teams. Yeah, same amount of teams. So you can pick. No, say no no brands, right? So there's still only 11 team

Yeah, yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, I just want to make it as confusing as possible You get to pick yeah, you get to pick one team for the other guy you got two idiots I can't think of any more teams and you're trying to keep you up state No, no you get to put a team on the other guy, but they can't be a shitty team Memphis and and being big cat will decide if they're shitty Put something moderately shitty on your yeah, it's has to be adequately shitty Give me Virginia Tech. Oh nice pick pick. Do I have one more? Yes. NC State.

OK. I'm going to ACC. We got the ACC covered. All right. So Tom, you have Georgia, Oregon, Tennessee, Penn State, Kansas State, Alabama, Michigan, Florida State, Liberty, USC, Kansas, Virginia Tech. Brandon, you have?

I don't like Alabama or Michigan being in the middle of yours. Ohio State, Clemson, Texas, Ole Miss, Miami, Notre Dame, Utah, LSU, Oklahoma State, Iowa, Missouri, NC State. Notre Dame might have been still a draft. Might have been. It was a very good pick. It was an excellent value play. Because they should be in the playoff.

And that will get you one point no matter what. Yeah. Although they already have lost their starting left tackle after they had to replace. And they gotta go to Texas A&M. Oh, Texas A&M, why wasn't that picked? Because they're not very good. Okay, that's a good reasoning.

Marcus Freeman also just hosted a show with a Texas A&M, why wasn't that picked? Because they're not very good. OK, that's a good reasoning. Marcus Freeman also has a show with a Texas A&M fan. Now what? Don't you host a show with a Texas A&M fan? Buddy. Now PFT and I are going to draft the rest of the teams that weren't mentioned. And if any of those teams make the playoffs, we become the college football team.

Y'all are going to become, you're going to be White's Roots' own assistant manager? West Virginia. Nutskiners. If any of them even make it we then become the experts. All right boys. This has been awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much. I'd call it awesome. I mean it was tolerable. Yeah it was tolerable. New annual. What was the draft for. I thought we were competing. Oh no no. You both would both would be... No, because the loser of the draft still has a chance to win the draft. Michigan won the national title last year. The other teams still get the play. That's true. And you were very wrong about Michigan last year.

No, not really. Yeah, you were. Not really. Yeah, you were. You know who wasn't the number one college football expert on Pardon My Table? Oh, Tom Frinelli was... He called it, yeah. It's true. He called it. Are you still saying that you weren't wrong about Michigan, Brandon? Does that feel good that you were able to call Michigan for a national champion? Well, you literally said... All they had to do was do...

Win a national champion. Win a national championship. You can't talk about it. You have a blood oath. I can. We won a national title. Baseball 2021. That didn't really count because I'll miss one in the year after.

It doesn't matter. Wiped it away. We both won. Yeah. We're both winners, Mississippi's winners. Everybody's a winner. Up to 35th in education. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Huge. We found that fact out today. Mississippi's winners. Everybody's a winner. Up to 35th in education. That's pretty good. Yeah. Huge. We found that fact out today. Yeah. That's huge. Norma. So suck it, Arkansas. They introduced books. God, who are the 15 states that are worse? West Virginia was there.

Almost everybody around us in the South. You guys just all moved out of Mississippi. It's a general area. Made everyone worse. Rising tide lifts all boats. Mississippi is leading the way. Yes. All right, thank you, boys.

Tom Frinelli, go listen to his podcast. Cover three. Cover three. I know cover three. I was thinking about whether I want to plug Brandon's. No, listen to cover three. Brandon has a podcast. Ish.

Several. A show. Family. Multiple shows. Family. Well, what about wrestling? Plug wrestling. We're working on podcast. Ish. Several. A show. Family. Multiple shows. Family. What about wrestling? Plug wrestling. We're working on it.

Wrestling. Well, I'll plug mostly on wrestling. Wrestling, right? Yeah. What about unnecessary roughness? Yeah. You chose not to plug. What about the Yak?

You're plugging the show that you're on? Yeah, why not? All right, I'm on the Yak. OK, there we go. The Yak with Big Cat and Brandon Walker. Yeah. Mostly sports is good. Thank you.

Yeah. Family. It's not as good as wrestling. Who would you say is the Batman and who's the Robin? Mostly sports. Oh. Mostly sports is good. Thank you. Yeah. Family. It's not as good as wrestling. Who would you say is the Batman and who's the Robin? Mostly sports. Oh, Titus is Batman. Yeah. And Robin.

I don't know that that's true. I mean, whose name is first in the graphic? Yeah. Titus is Batman and Robin. Brandon's Catgirl. It's Catwoman. Got the gams. No, I said Catgirl.

You're not even Catwoman. Catwoman is Connor Griffin. All right. Thank you, boys. Thank you. Tom Fernelli and Brandon Walker were brought to you by our good friends over at Chevy. We love Chevy. There's a reason why we've never done a Mount Rushmore pickup trucks.

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took us through Cincinnati, through Memphis to the beautiful Bass Pro Shop pyramid and Silverado was with us along the way. Kept us safe, kept us entertained, the screens are fantastic in the Silverado. There's a lot of room in there. It feels like a luxurious ride in a very tough, gritty pickup truck. Silverado brings that grit. It's legendary grit. They sponsored the Low Man Trophy for the nation's best college fullback, they get grit. Up to eight cameras inside the Silverado. You have 14 different views to help

me driving, towing, and parking all easier. And the new blacked out look that they got of the new Silverado HD Trail Boss, chef's kiss, it's awesome. So head over to chevy.com, build your own Silverado or your Silverado HD, check out all the current offers on Silverado discover a world of strength and capability all behind the wheel of our favorite truck the Chevy Silverado and now here is Joey Chestnut American hero. And now for something completely different. Okay we now welcome on a very special guest he is an American hero. One of our favorite Americans of all time. It is Joey Chestnut and we've got some beef that we're settling. Labor Day weekend. Joey Chestnut going up against Kobayashi, unfinished beef. So Joey, first of all, let's thank you for joining us. We missed you. We missed you dearly on 4th of July. Didn't feel like 4th of July. Where are we at with that part of everything that's happened in the last six months?

Yeah, I missed being there, man. They haven't reached out at all. Oh. Yeah, so it's... I don't know if they're waiting to see how this thing goes with... This contest goes. Maybe they're hoping I lose and maybe I don't know what That's not gonna happen. All they've done is make me more hungry Make a new record. I'm gonna smash that I'm gonna eat more hot dogs than ever before the tiger right there I Missed that content. Who knows hopefully we can figure out something but uh right now

I'm just thinking about Labor Day and Kobayashi Yeah They poked the bear and they might be very upset that they did that. One last question about what happened on 4th of July weekend because we had your back. I love watching Joey Chestnut compete. It's one of my favorite parts of 4th of July weekend. And the report came out that there was a dispute behind some sort of vegan or vegetarian hot dog product.

And then I saw the spin machine kick in high gear. And then all these people were saying that you wanted to eat vegetarian hot dogs during the hot dog eating contest. And I said, that doesn't sound like something that Joey Chestnut would do. This sounds like they're trying to get in front of the narrative. Can you clear us up as to what happened and why they kicked you out? Oh, they did some weird things. So yeah, I started working with Impossible Foods. And by all my previous agreements, I've been allowed to work with them. We have all our agreements,

they had companies that I couldn't work with. And they were like real hot dog companies. And so this year I said, hey, they knew I was gonna be working with Impossible Foods, so they put them on the list of companies I can't work with after they knew that I was working with them. And it was lame. I couldn't go back on my deal with Impossible, so I was in a tight spot.

And then they started leaking all this information to the news and trying to tell people that I wanted to eat vegan hot dogs on in contests and which wasn't the case. I eat clean after contests because I do eat like a madman. And so I take days off of eating meat. So it's a they try to. There's probably things I could have done with it. They pissed me off a little bit. Yeah. And, uh, but, and, and it sucks cause everybody wants to see a new record on the 4th of July and I, I, I want to do it. And, uh, so I'm not giving up. I, I love that contest.

I love 4th of July. I love eating in New York city and I'm hoping I can do it again. Yeah. Cause that was, uh, that was the saddest part. The most disconcerting part for us is people saying oh Joey likes Vegan hot dogs more than regular hot dogs. We're like no he doesn't this guy's American through and through He puts his life on the line for our enjoyment every 4th of July. So just so we can set it straight you Understand you eat after but like you're always gonna eat regular hot dogs when we're doing competitions. This contest for Netflix, it's all beef hot dogs. I eat meat, crazy amounts of meat, but I do take a break from eating meat, which is, I think it helps me

so I can get back into it so I can push harder., it's weird that they got, they were so sensitive and dude, I got and the way they were trying to control the narrative, change the narrative to make it look like I was an American, which is it irked me a little bit. But uh, you know, I, I love the guy who won Pat Bertoletti. He did awesome. But I think me and Kobayashi are going to probably eat more than he did and in six minutes Yeah, and we're gonna We're gonna we're gonna push each other to ridiculous limits. Yeah

The fake news was out to get you and it's been a long time since you've competed against Kobayashi, right? Do you remember the last time you guys went head-to-head? Oh, yeah last time we were in Singapore It was one of the only times that the audience was in his corner. And he started out, he was ahead of me, and they were like cheering. And then I tied it up and they got all quiet. It felt, it was a good feeling. Yeah. But dude, yeah, so he's an eater.

And I know he hasn't, last couple years, he's taken some time off. But there's nobody who pushes me like him. And every time we eat against each other, we we break records. It's gonna it's I Oh my god. Yeah, I between eating against him and the hunger I just missing the hot dog contest on the fourth July. I'm I've been training and I'm ready to ready to eat like an animal. It's bird versus magic in hot dog eating competitions. You bring the best out of each other. So what

exactly is going to be the setup for this hot dog eating competition? Oh yeah, so Netflix, they want to announce some of the rules. I don't know if I've, I might have let some stuff slip, but some of the rules were eating a little bit different I'll be a little bit cleaner, but I've been practicing and I'm I'm gonna machine right now. So it's it it shouldn't matter too much that we're eating a little bit different But it 10-minute contest all beef hot dogs Just two of us. We'll be kind of slanted so we can see each other while we're eating. And it's, it's, yeah, it's gonna be intense. And it'll be a couple

of undercard events, some eaters, international eaters. Love that. Yeah. And dude, it's, it's gonna be another thing, only two years. So the hot dogs they're making, they're gonna be super fresh. And it'll be helpful. Good food is always easier to eat and I'm gonna turn it on. Fast buns. Yeah are we gonna have the similar buns to what we have in Nathan's? Oh yeah well they'll be a little bit different buns but they'll be fast and they'll make sure because they're not sitting outside in the heat they won't turn stale. Yeah so these ones will uh I'll be able to chew quick, swallow and move on, I'll go beast mode.

So when you say cleaner, are we not dunking them? That sounds like we're not dunking them. You didn't hear that from me, but I did. Wow. That would definitely be cleaner. Wow. Which is awesome, I mean, it's more enjoyable to eat them without dunking.

Yeah. Oh yeah, the slush, the dunking is the grossest thing ever. It's one of the... With practice and competition, I know that I can make a new record even with the different rules. So, is there beef? Like, is Kobayashi beefing with you more than your beefing with him because He's very angry. He's an angry angry man. He knows how to hold a grudge. Okay He's blocked me and he we were doing like a pro press tour and he won't do anything in the same room as me Which is all right. I mean we're not We're not here. It's not competitive. Nicene

we have to we have to we're gonna be pushing each other to our uncomfortable limits. And he he knows I'm gonna, he knows what's coming. And I know what's coming. He's gonna push me and I or it's when everything in my body is telling me to slow down or stop, I'm gonna keep pushing it. Are you guys love that? Are you gonna weigh in beforehand? That would rock. I don't know what they're doing exactly. I know they're doing a

weigh in for hot dogs. I think they before all the way in the hot dogs Just like so the people like oh, these are the hot dogs. They're eating so they can bet on them. I think I think right now the over-under is like 66 and I'm gonna blow that out. Okay. I love that I love the confidence from you I'm curious when you're when you're competing you you mentioned that you're gonna be slanted a little bit so you'll be able to see your opponent. That's probably very different from how it is in most of the eating competitions that I've seen, where it's just you. You get to stare straight ahead, you look at your food, you look straight ahead and you focus.

In this, you're gonna be able to see your opponent as your opponent's eating. Are you planning on monitoring him and and using him as like a pace car? Are you just gonna try to zone out and do your normal thing? I'm gonna go out hard and hopefully I'm finding a rhythm where I'm just almost like a zombie where I just find this do the same thing over and over again and can make sure I'm breathing and I'll hear I'll see make sure I'm breathing and I'll hear I'll see numbers and I'm hoping that I uh yeah usually if everything's working right I'm just like in a zone if I'm having a hard time then it then I start

looking around a little bit too much but uh if everything's going good I can just just just almost like almost teleport towards the end of the contest. I'm like, Oh yeah, I, I know what I ate even if I don't even, if I lose track of numbers. Yeah. Do you, um, do you have any self-talk while you're eating? Any things that you, you think to yourself? I know a lot of elite athletes, they, they stress the importance of the mental game and putting themselves in the right head space. Are you, are you saying things to yourself internally or are you telling yourself?

Okay, one dog at a time Yeah, so it's a my biggest thing is stay calm breathe I know I I'm sore I'm so amped up and intense the most I Get a little bit too amped up. I might try to swallow too much at one time if I stay calm breathe if I hold them end up holding my breath, then I end up getting winded and screws up my rhythm. So I just stay calm. This is I love this. This is my happy place. Yeah. And it's a good this is I yeah, last couple years on the Fourth of July, I didn't break a record. I wasn't even close.

I love competition. It brings out us and everybody. It's going to make me work. Yeah. All right, so I got one last question, Joey. It's a rollback question. RHOPACK.com promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rollback.com promo code take. So September 2nd, uh, everyone tune in Netflix 3 PM Eastern time, unfinished beef. Uh, I hate asking this question, Joey, but I have to ask it. If you're thinking about your career, where are you in terms of how many years do we have left? Uh,

cause I don't want to, I already did this year without, I didn't even watch out of, cause I love you so much. I didn't even watch the, the Nathan's on 4th of July. Uh, I was boycotting out of respect for you. So I'm hoping that you'll be back next year, but what do you, what is your body telling you in terms of, uh, are you in your prime still? Are you on the back nine? Where are you at? It's uh, it's it's weird like and the way my practices have gone this year. I uh, I I'm breaking records I'm doing the best I ever have But I am older there's that It'd be silly for me to say this is my prime, but I know my body so well

It takes a little bit longer to recover. So it's uh, It's I definitely have more years and my doctors really happy with everything did the scope on both ends. And everything's working well. And so I got years and I'm not even looking at that. I'm not looking at the end. I'm looking at just hot dogs right now and hot dogs in the future and some awesome records and some Oktoberfest events and and yeah, it's gonna be it's gonna be a fun ride. I'm staying on this. Staying on this wave. We're gonna put that on a quote card. Hot dogs right now. Hot dogs in the future. Yeah, I like it. I don't wanna I don't wanna

think about what the fourth of July is gonna be like in perpetuity without Joey Chestnut. Have you thought actually when you're watching the Olympics this year, did you see some of those events and be like, why isn't eating in the Olympics? Yeah, dude. Yeah, there there was a couple that uh, yeah, I did. Eating is eating. But I, I, I, yeah, there's, there should like that break dancing. There's some serious stuff is there, but then that one was a joke. Ray gun.

Yeah. But then that one was a joke. Reagan. Yeah, Reagan. She had a goofball. I like her actually. But you know, eating, it wouldn't be that weird to every host country to have an eating contest. Yeah, I think it should be an Olympic sport because it's one thing that everybody that's ever born has done. So you can actually say Joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time to eat. And you can't say that about most sports because some people

they grow up in places that maybe don't play basketball or don't play, don't do the luge, you know, for Winter Olympics. But with Joey Chestnut it's like you can say definitively this man is the best eater to ever walk the face of the earth. Yeah, it's a yeah like there's old women who know what it's like to be full. There's not too many people, not that many people have ever hit a home run. Not that many people slam dunked a basketball. It's so it's so everybody can kind of relate and kind of measure up.

Yeah, I would like to see that in the Olympics. I would too. All right. Well, Joey, we're gonna be rooting for you. We're excited for it. And great to see you in the Olympics. Yeah, I would too. All right, well Joey, we're gonna be rooting for you. We're excited for it and great to see you and let's just never retire. Let's just keep eating forever. Oh, until the wheels fall off. Love it. Love it. All right. Thanks so much, Joey. Appreciate it, man. Take care, guys. All right. See ya. Joey Chestnut was brought to you by the Farmers Dog. The days are warmer, the walks are longer. One easy way to help your dog shine this season is with fresh, healthy food from The Farmer's Dog.

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You can get 50% off your first box of fresh healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash PMT, plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash PMT, you get 50% off at thefarmersdog.com slash PMT. Okay, let's wrap up with FireFest. Also, quick show announcement. Huey's summer internship has completed. So we appreciate him being around. It was a lot of fun having him around.

So yeah, it ended. He's going back to Michigan. So thank you to Huey. He's got everyone still follow him on Twitter. MBA hole is that? Yeah, MBA hole. MBA hole. Yeah, he went he went out with a bang with Yeah, with the Jerry O'Connell. Yeah, it was it was Jerry and Huey were a great tandem. So yeah, everyone follow him. We'll see what he does next. But we appreciate him being our summer intern. And next summer summer We will probably have another intern, but we have to

Figure that out We'll do it earlier to fuck that part out Well, we were gone for like the whole month of July. Yeah, maybe next summer. Let's not be gone whole month I don't know about that. Just a whole month. You know week. Yeah, fourth of July. Yeah. Yeah, uh gone the whole month in a week. Yeah, fourth of July. Oh, yeah. Yeah, uh gone a whole month to try I'd rather be here, but my fire festival week is Goes back to Camp Arshul last week. We played 16 inch softball for the first time big has been preaching about it for a while had a lot of fun probably my favorite part of camp and

then This past Thursday we had our Had a lot of fun probably my favorite part of camp and then This past Thursday we had our 12 inch softball game hardball on the pitcher and then I got absolutely smoked kid hit a hit a Screamer up the middle as hard as you could Smash into my shin. I heard a crack and I like limped off But after it initially happened based off the sound I thought like I broke my leg And the dunking wasn't gonna happen turn out just be a little that would have been the reason that would have been a great excuse Yeah, but I didn't want to I don't want to give up. I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up

I still think I'm gonna do it. It's a big month. So there's gonna be I mean, yeah, why would you give up? We work in a basketball office. Yeah, ah But I just hey I'm I it really the the 16 inch was so fun and then getting her playing 12 inch and I never really loved 12 inch but I've converted you you've converted me and then I was already converted me and Max were already saying like this is going to be because our we have a playoff game tonight. We haven't won a single game in the regular season. We're probably gonna get smoked again. But I was already

at the game being like, I wish we were playing 16 inch next season, we're playing 16 inch like this is going to be our last game. And then I almost like had a life life threatening. Ironically, it's more about playing small ball when you're playing with a 16 year old self. Oh yeah, because you you try to direct the hits hit it where they ain't. There's some dudes that play at the park next to my house and they take it so seriously. Oh yeah, they show up wearing like the skin tight. They're almost like a motorbike racing shirts that they wear. They're like really tight flashy colors. They're all six to two 30 and they just mash the ball

and it's so much fun to play. Yeah. Old old dudes can play 16 inch which tells you that that's the style of the game. It's it's a thinking man's softball. So I've it's fully converted. We're gonna get a 16 She I told you guys when you guys started the the 12 inch league I was like the minute you get a 16 inch league I'm in but I'm not playing 12 inch What time's your game tonight? I Want to bail so I can't make it?

Shit, I really wanted to be there for you boys. I'm not gonna be able to make it We're doing like the office, everyone pointing a gun at each other meme in our group chat waiting for someone to bail. Here's an idea. Why don't everyone else is ready to. Why don't you guys bring a 16 inch ball and be like, wanna do this instead?

The alms bring the balls. Yeah, no, but go buy a 16 inch ball and be like, hey, let's play 16 inch. We should. Worth a shot. You guys should bail bail because if we win tonight the next game is next Thursday oh yeah you can't you gotta bail you gotta bail throw it you gotta bail you bail now so that you can at least let

the other guys not have to show up like don't bail and not tell anyone just bail and they're already playing chat right they're already playing after if we want to be a doubleheader so the team that we're playing is is only gonna like they're still playing tonight max tell them tell them I demanded to bail what's your team record worry we have oh for the season oh you haven't won a goal they did Thursday night they did Thursday nights in the summer which is an impossible thing I don't want you haven't won a game we had a full team one time yeah you guys should never have done Thursday They did Thursday nights in the summer, which is an impossible thing. I bet the one game. You haven't won a game

We had a full team one time. Yeah, you guys should never have done Thursday nights in the summer So we're thinking like Thursday nights. We'll play some games drink some beer Oh, it's a Tuesday or Monday thing cuz it's summer so then you drink the beers on Tuesday or Monday Or Wednesday. Wait if you if you win this game you make the playoffs We're in the play. Everyone makes everyone makes the playoffs. This is the playoffs. Oh Yeah, just bail. What if you won it all? What if you guys just fucking won it all? You gotta throw this game. It's not even fun. 12-in softball is just like a glorified t-ball. Wait, how does, how does, I agree,

that's why 16 inches is far superior. How does the team have a double header if it's the playoffs? I think we're in the play-in. Wait, but how did, what do you mean? so you could have a double header yes ah that's what I'm saying so if we for the teams the team the team could just go on just play the next game right right you either got a bail so we're not like for you got a win yeah no yeah just bail this is a no-brainer bail they're gonna still get to play softball tonight and they don't have to get there at 7 o'clock Hank. How about you? Let's get how about you get just on the on the line. I mean to the I mean the group text

I'm alive just Joe's call will be no I'm in the group tax. I'm in the group tax I'm in the group tax right now alright PFT My fire fest of the week is I'm on a diet Yeah, I have to go on a diet during football season and it's not fun. It's not fun at all. I diet off season. There's no good time.

There's no really good time to diet, but this is maybe the worst time of year to diet. So I went to the doctor. The doctor told me cholesterol is a little bit high. I would not be dieting during football season if it wasn't like, okay, you got to bring this number down, but I have to and so I've been eating super healthy and it sucks. It sucks eating healthy. I had I had buffalo cauliflower the other night. Everybody was like you're not gonna miss chicken wings. Guess what? I fucking miss chicken wings. I kind of like buffalo cauliflower.

It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. If you look you just look at it as something different it's kind of good. And everyone always tells you oh there's ways that you can eat healthy and still enjoy your food. it's not the same it's not the same if you look you just look at it as something different It's it's kind of good and everyone always tells you oh there's ways that you can eat healthy and still enjoy your food That's not true. It's not true. You can't eat all the good stuff in the world is bad for you all the bad stuff in the world is Good for you or all the bad tasting stuff is good for you all the good tasting stuff is bad for you No, just eat Eat no carbs. That's the way I do it. But I love car fucking model health. I love car. I know. But that's the only way to lose weight is just go no carbs. It's not that

I'm not going to lose weight. Yeah, I'm trying to trying to bring down the the cholesterol. Just eat bacon. Does that do it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. All I know about cholesterol is that listen, I don't I don't see a doctor. I take care of my cholesterol. I have a fucking bowl of Cheerios every morning Yes, I started to eat like oatmeal steel-cut oats all that shit. It's not fun There's no fun in it whatsoever and it just sucks cuz I'm gonna on Sundays We eat junk food all we eat We don't eat and I'm gonna have to be the guy in the office that brings in like a Tupperware thing of tuna and avocado.

Literally, it will never happen. Never happen. And if you do, honestly, I'll fight you. Yeah, you should. No, if you bring in a fish. You might bring an egg. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, time out, time out, time out.

If I bring in a health food on Sunday and I get slapped, I'm going to be like, yeah, I deserve that. No, no. If you bring in a Tupperware of tuna fish on a football Sunday, you're done. Well, I'm not eating it in the room. No, but I'm saying just bring it in, like, Monday through Friday? Yeah.

It's over. I know. You can't do that. And then, so what happens is, because I complained about it earlier. I don't think you understand that you can't do that. I get it. I get it. No, but you keep pretending like, PFT, that

would be no different than me being like, hey, PFT, I've just committed five murders. I'm going to sneak out. Can you help me? I'm going to have to sneak out to the car and eat my healthy food and shame it. I can't help you. It's bad. It's bad.

And people complain because I have the take that there's no good food, no food that's good for you that actually does taste good. And then everyone's like, actually, you can eat steak all you want and be super healthy Yeah, the no carb is that true that you can just eat steak all the time And if the only thing you eat is steak you'll be yes your fat levels will go down. Yes 100% true people don't do not mess with Sundays There's no dieting on football Sundays. That's not a thing. I might just fast we don't do that's fine You don't eat that fine. I might just know you don't get to eat healthy shit around us when we're stuffing our face with everything else

I might I might just not eat that's fine They're not eating is a choice that you can make but if you bring a Tupperware of tuna and avocado Yeah, it's bad. It's on site. It's bad Because then you're gonna make everyone else feel bad and that's not okay That's what I'm saying. I'd have to go out to the car and eat it in shame. Sunday's a safe space. What if I just do two slices of pizza? That's fine.

That's pretty much a diet. It's you bringing other things, like healthy food. If you bring a Tupperware on a Sunday, you're an asshole. If we get pizza. You could even order a salad from the pizza place. I wouldn't say shit to that Can there be a Tupperware? That's the problem. I want pizza. Could there be can we have one thing? That is the color green on the pizza. Yeah, okay, that's healthy. Yeah

All right, we're update on the group text But I'm gonna have a six pack by the Super Bowl and we'll be that shape of a lives Oh, I am too adding in my friend Dan from work. I said hey guys Dan from work here I think we got a bail tonight. I'll be the first to say it. I'm out and then Tom Lee said it's the playoffs Dan Yeah, I know But we can't make it Sorry guys great season My hero

Okay, my fire fest simple. I for thank you everyone who watched Doug streams. We won a natty on Wednesday night. It was took me seven years to win a natty. But my fire fest is there was a point we played an incredible semi final game. And in the overtime, I scored first, kicked the extra point, UNC scored second, kicked the extra point, UNC went third, scored, didn't get the two-point conversion. I then scored, was getting ready to do the two-point conversion

and the game gave me the option to kick the extra point and I did and it's the only thing I regret because now a lot of people say asterisks no matter what they say sliders Even though I show the sliders. I wish I had just gone for two. So you kicked the extra point They didn't get their two-point conversion. They didn't get their two-point conversion The rule in college football is then I still have to go for a two-point conversion Yeah, when I pulled up the screen it gave me the option to kick the extra point. I kicked it in one Some may say you should probably take it up with the developers, not me.

By the rules of the video game, but by the rules of college football, you did a play that doesn't count. What I did was I gave the haters a spot to do an asterisk. They were gonna do anyway, but I was gonna be able, I mentally, and even Max said that he was gonna get in the chat and say asterisk. I wish in the moment memes that you had stopped me and said hey go for two anyway We got to get the win you got we had to get the win

You should hang the banner the championship banner that you make for yourself should just be a giant asterix take it back with that I'm fine with that. Yeah max memes you guys got a fire fest If you don't have one, it's okay. I do I let's go. I have a doozy I've one that may not I know that how you guys are gonna spin it. Oh, and it's gonna look bad on myself Oh We would never do that. You clog another toilet. No I'm gonna start this by saying I love dogs I'm gonna start this by saying I love dog. Okay, good that you've got that

out there. I'm gonna you love fucking dogs. First and foremost, I love dogs. Okay. I've moved into a new apartment this week. Yeah, I've been talking about my struggles with that. That in itself is the biggest fire fest that will be going on for at least another month. You moving is the worst thing in the world. You've got a long weekend. And it's also, I have a wedding four out of every, four out of the next five weekends. It's crazy how many weddings this guy's got to go to. A million weddings. I go to sleep my first night there, or I go to sleep my first night there.

I wake up 615 in the dog's bedroom howling a howling dog that gets anxiety when his owner when his owner leaves right next door right next door 615 on the dot every single day have you met the doors on I have met the guy very good guy I you met the dog? No, I met the guy Very good guy. I've met the dog good dog. What type of dog? I think it's it's gotta be I don't I don't know I'm size What's like it's like a description of the dog? I didn't give the dog medium-sized dog sounds like you didn't pet the dog. It sounds like you can't describe the dog It's a medium-sized dog. OK, so what does that mean?

Can pet anything. I don't know. It's like not like a toy dog, but it's not like a lab. Stella? Yes, kind of Stella size. OK. It's just, it's an issue. What color is the dog?

It has woken me up at 6 o'clock every single day, and I'm just anxious that for the rest of my time in this apartment, I'm going to wake up at 6 o'clock. Because it and I'm just anxious that for the rest of my time in this apartment. Yeah, no, you're at six o'clock because it's not something you can complain about. You can't like go to. Well you could. But what's the solution? There's no solution.

The guy leaves for work and the and the dog gets anxiety about the guy leaving for work. What if the guy howl cries? There is howl cries. I got a solution for you. What if you just make such good friends with a dog that you offer the guy? Hey, I'll take your dog for a walk in the morning if you'd like we talked about that But then I still have to get it then we still get up at 6 a.m Wait, no, what if he just opened your door and just left let the dog run it I

Just leave my door wide open Well, you give him a key and then he drops his dog off with you when he leaves and the dog would just come in What is it all about? Dog in a crate is the guy's I have no idea so the the easy option is whatever wall you share with him Which is what the bedroom wall yes? He should put it he you should get the dog a crate and put it in in the far wall I Think it's a studio. Oh So it's one room because I looked at the you know,

when you get out of an elevator, there's like a fire escape thing that shows all the all the layouts and I'm pretty sure it's a studio. So this has been every single morning since I moved in. So then you got to just well I haven't had I had an idea. All right. All right. All right. Which I think will be here's an idea. Do we do we think the guy's a listener? No, okay, great perfect. We got to figure out where he works. We got to get him fired That's easy We got to get him fired good Yeah, it sounds cuz then he won't have a job and then he'll be at home all the time with his dog

Or is he is he a single guy? I? Met him when I met him. He was by himself with the dog So it's just him in that apartment if I had to guess yes, so you almost don't move into a studio Yeah, you need to get him a girlfriend. Yeah, we got a higher prostitute. Yeah woman. We see a lot of that movie That's not about here. She probably works nice. I'd show around in the morning prostitute girlfriend or get him fired I Would actually work in conjunction I kind of like the idea of Max just giving the guy a key and saying I'll look after dog in the mornings, let him into

my apartment. That doesn't say that. That doesn't help my problem. Like the dog. No, it's not going to how it's going. What about it's got separation. But it's still going to wake me up. No, no, no. Only for like five minutes and then the dog and then the dog's quiet and I can go back to bed. But it's still like waking up at 615 earplugs Yeah, that's how machine is our it was our first okay sound machine earplugs also Maybe like make a hole in between your apartments and have a dog door. Yeah, I don't know how that would work There's a real easy solution that I don't want to do because I'm stubborn about the dog max what the fuck I moved into a two-bedroom I could just like it's the master that has two closets and a bathroom in it

That's exactly Then I'm just like succumbing to the situation Oh, you're in the dog I don't know if that was the right word But I used it then the dog was so max you're big Eagles fan Have you thought about just wearing Mike Vic jerseys all the time around him and then seeing what the guy maybe he moves out This explains why you've been yawning. I it's stuck. It's I just said sucks. It sucks. It stinks and sucks Stop imagine max though like wearing sunglasses a big like bright green Philadelphia Eagles Mike Vic Jersey knocking on his door and be like hey your dogs give me some problems in the next I thought about how

frustrated I'm gonna be after the first like NFL Sunday when I get home at 330 and the dog and I just wake up two and a half hours later to this dog just Like when I say howling like I feel bad for the dog Everyone like scream crying yeah, like you know the sound of like a and it's and it's loud and it doesn't stop It's just like oh Like for five straight minutes max can put you on some game real quick. What's that? All right one thing I've been doing recently and I love I got this Oh, yeah, you have told me yeah, I got the at nighttime

I got a blindfold that I put on to go to sleep that has these earphones in them They're like Bluetooth earphones so you can play like a podcast can play a video on YouTube You put your phone plug it in on the nightstand and you can listen to it as you fall asleep And it doesn't fall out. It doesn't hurt your ears It's like very comfortable. If you have something going in your ears like that, you might not hear the dog in the morning. And when your alarm goes off,

it'll play the alarm sound in your ears. So you don't have to worry about missing your alarm. Yeah, it's nice. Or you could kill the dog. I'm not gonna kill the dog. You want to kill the dog. I'm not gonna kill the dog. Did the thought cross your mind?

No. You have definitely thought about it definitely yeah, you thought about it thought about you deep dark dark down thoughts. You've thought about now No Hey, who's the guy who that clip where he's like more more foot for 100 more? 500 more isn't that the cat Michael Cohen? Yeah, yeah, and someone asked me how many plays I'm gonna I thought that was the beers beers thing no Plays I'm gonna add on Saturday college chicks automatic All right memes you got anything My apartment door keeps getting stuck

Because apparently when it's so humid out wood expands that's a fact and so I had to lube up my door with Vaseline for like 30 minutes and still get stuck use Vaseline yeah that's what my building manager told me not WD 40 no he said use that still gets stuck oh so you can't get out yeah I can't get in which order can't get in so it looks like I'm breaking into my apartment every single time. I love that. Yeah That's worse than a dog. Yeah Max hates dogs love dogs Shane. What's up? Change you see softball got canceled

They said update they said some number I don't have said just just send us pug and keep the other four and I said okay deal and I said oh shit wait pug is out of town back to canceled so we're canceled. It's Tom Lay and his friends right that's the problem. Yeah. And we forfeited so many times that I think I think the biggest problem is I think it's an awkward conversation for the guy who, because the guy asked us last week, will you be able to field a team this week?

We said yes. Who? Like the league manager. But you're never playing in this league again. I know. That's what I was thinking. We're out. League manager, if you're a listener, hit me up.

Joast. He'll be happy to get this. Joast. Joast. Hit me up. $100 free gift to get this. Yoast, hit me up. $100 free gift card to sellableau.com. Sellableaucoffee.com. We figured this out. Numbers.

Three. Twenty. One. Eight. Fifty-six. Twenty-one. Ninety? Is that ninety?

Looks like ninety. 90. Love you guys. So So So So So So So Thanks for watching!