Pardon My Take - CFB Week 1 With Andy Staples, Larry 6 Has Died, & Mt Rushmore Of Ref Calls

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

Our goldfish, Larry 6, has died. We remember him (00:02:59 - 00:08:51). College Football is back and it was great to soak in wall to wall action on Saturday (00:08:51 - 00:29:12). Who's back of the week (00:29:12 - 00:46:56). Andy Staples joins the show to talk about the big stories from week 1 College Football including LSU losing to UCLA, Wisconsin's season being over, and Bama keeps on rolling (00:46:56 - 01:33:34). We finish the show with Mt Rushmore of referee calls.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have college football. Back, Andy Staples on the show, recapping a wild first week in college football, talking about all of it. Great to see fans in the stands, great to have wall-to-wall football, we're gonna break it all down.

We have Who's Back of the Week? Oh, look, there's Cower at the U.S. Open. Looking good. Nice pick, Cower. Looking good, Cower. See the kind of shirt that he's wearing right now? The mock turtleneck polo shirt. Yeah.

It's an old coach's move for sure. It's been a while. Cower should get his name back out in there. You know every now and then when you're trying to look for a pay increase? Yeah. Bill Cower. It's like, you know what, he's been watching film in the mountains of North Carolina for the last three years.

He's ready to come back. Yeah. All right. Mount Rushmore of referee, no, calls, yeah. Referee calls. I fucked that up. Referee calls. So anything a referee does in any of the sports and it's gonna be a great show and we're

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Okay. Let's go. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Dave and Buster's. The best place to watch a football game this fall today is Tuesday, September 7th. And Larry, the goldfish is dead. That fat bitch. This is where I should say something emotional, something sad about Larry Six passing away,

longest living Larry, three years and one day. Also the fattest living Larry. I'll say something for us. I'll say something. Larry the goldfish. Wait, keep playing that. Keep playing that. Larry the goldfish was a fish and he lived for a period of time.

Yep. That's about it. He was a goldfish. He was a goldfish. And his name was Larry. You know what? I'm going to say something nice about Larry the goldfish, Larry Six. Larry Six, it's his only purpose in the world was proving to all the haters and PETA that

our fishes don't die suddenly and quickly. And now that he's dead, he has no purpose whatsoever. I'll say something nice. Because that was it. We literally just pointed to it. Larry the goldfish, number six, was so boring that he actually made me want to get back into doing more Larry the goldfish content with whatever Larry the goldfish would follow up after him.

Larry the Six was a stupid fat fuck. And now we can say lucky Larry Seven. Lucky Larry Seven. There it is. Sevens are always lucky. And also here's another nice thing about Larry Six. I've done two nice things. One was that he just existed so that we could point to him and say, hey, not all of our

fish die in like three weeks. Again, he now is irrelevant because that was his only purpose is to just stay alive and fat. And then the other thing I'll say nice about Larry Six is that he died at a perfect time. He didn't wait till week two or week three. We didn't have to go through the whole, oh, Larry Six, you're still here. No, he died before football started. So I appreciate that from Larry.

I think Larry knew that it was time. Yeah, he could feel it. And I just like I don't think that it's worthwhile for me to stay around for another season. Spider was his best friend. So I do feel bad for spider a little bit because really that's he was his only friend. Just so everyone's clear. We're not talking about an actual spider because that is confusing to some. Some people will definitely listen.

I'd be like, wait, a spider was your goldfish. Some would say that the only reason it lasted so long was because spider was taking care of him and not you guys. Oh, yes, I would. Great job. Take care of him. It was his best friend. And I felt bad for spider until I saw spider walk in the office today.

And then he saw Larry. He's like, well, I guess Larry's dead. Yeah. Kind of rolled right off spider's back like a like water off a duck. It probably is a relief to spider because his entire paycheck was going to feeding Larry that fat fuck. He was so fucking fat. So yeah, Larry, whatever.

He's done. We got a new one coming. We're going to start doing picks. I don't even know if we're going to do another goldfish. I'd be down to to branch out to maybe a different type of shark, a shark, a baby shark, a baby shark. Oh, a baby shark would be good. Wait.

No, but Hank actually said that we need to find something that's that's that's exactly why not a baby shark? How part of my take works for people who are always like, Hey, what's it like? You know, behind the scenes, Hank, just before we started taping this said we have to make sure that the next fish is small so we can use it to pick games with the net. And then we turn on the cameras and we're like, how about a shark? There are small sharks out there. Billy knows.

There's piranhas. Yeah, we go. Oh, yeah. Okay. You want to get a piranha? I like that. And then, oh, we could. Yeah, we could put like actual meat into the falcons win the Super Bowl, put my pinky

in there. There you go. Just let it gnaw it off. They're dime size for $5 in Bayonne, New Jersey. Wait, but do they stay alive? Yeah. That sounds like dime size. No, quarter size, like silver dollars.

They just got bigger in two seconds. Are they round? Why do you keep using like circular coins? It's a young one. Is someone just selling you coins in a tank and telling you that they are fish? It's right shark on the side of it, Billy's like, I got this new sick yellow fin. If you, if you, if you. I'm absolutely getting a piranha.

You know what, Billy, you were made for this moment. You were made to be our fish guy. Yeah, no, Hank, don't shake your head. Don't fucking shake your head. Is it unethical to have. You asked me a question. I answered the question. Like to become like the Michael Vick of fish.

No, I think that's totally fine. It's actually highly illegal. Oh, it is? Siamese fighting fish. Oh, okay. Oh, you can't say that. Conjoined. Yeah.

Wait, but why, why is that illegal? Can't fight fish. Why? It's illegal. But you can eat them. Who said, who said? PETA. Or like the government.

No, PETA's not the law. PETA's not the law. Yeah, since when does Billy start respecting PETA's wishes? No, because they used to like do it illegally in Chinatown and they had to ban it because there's a lot of crime syndicate fish fighting ring. Can we keep asking Billy questions? He's going to get deeper into something that's not real. No, there's crime syndicate around the fighting fish.

Just get like a cute purple fish. Okay. Purple fish. Or like pink or like something. A pink fish. Let's get a beta fish. Yeah. There's glow in the dark fish.

Okay, let's get one of those. Yeah, let's go. Yeah. Yeah, do Larry's pigs in the dark? That'd be sick. Billy, back to just not being able to fight fish. You fuck frogs. Allegedly.

Okay. What about an eel? Could we get an eel? Eels creep me out. No, thanks. Octopus. A loach. Octopus would be cool.

I saw the octopus teacher. I love octopuses now, not octopi. Octopuses. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Football's back though. So we've already forgotten about Larry and college football.

College football's back. We'll figure out the Larry situation. It was awesome to watch a full slate of college football with fans in the stands. Everything about it was fucking. It just ruled. Saturday that like last year was football, but I didn't realize how much we missed last year until this Saturday. And I was like, wow, look at all of these games, all of these fans, chaos everywhere.

The Badgers are already dead. It's just football's back. Football is great. I pulled a rookie move though on Saturday, lost to charge by like 3 p.m. Oh, you can't do that. So charge ran out real early and the phone goes through cycles because you can upgrade your phone like once every two years and you get that new sweet battery going. Forgot about last year was not my year for an upgrade.

So now I've got like a dead phone and there's no, you feel like you're just stranded on island. Yeah, no, it was Tom Hanks and Castaway after post 3 p.m. when I couldn't refresh Twitter every 27. I don't. I don't leave my house on a Saturday or Sunday in the fall without a big clunky charger in my pocket. I go old school.

I'm not talking about like the Mophie or anything. I'm literally like, just find me a plug. I just need a plug. I'll fucking plug this thing in. I'll leave it with anyone. It's the best thing in football season. Like everyone has their phone. It's probably your most prized possession.

It has all of your information on it. But when it comes to a gambling Saturday or Sunday, I will hand my phone over to a bartender who does not give a fuck about it and be like, here, put it next to the blender and the margarita mixer and a bunch of ice. I don't care. I just need to get some juice so I can get some some bets in one time. My server was like, yeah, no problem. I'll get a charge for you, but it's $50 an hour.

And I was like, yeah, done. Yeah. And she was like, I'm just joking. But that was a joke. I was like, all right, 100. 100. Yeah. Drive a hard bargain.

You talked your way out of it because I was going to pay. No questions asked. All right. So let's talk some games real quick. We have Andy Stables. We're going to break down everything. Clemson, Georgia was a snooze fast, but Georgia gets their big win. Kirby Smart gets the monkey off his back kind of.

I feel like Kirby Smart did a lot, not just for himself, but for Kirby's worldwide. Yeah. Like he's got to be the most successful person in the in this century named Kirby. You forgot about the cartoon guy. No, Kirby's Dreamland. I'm counting him. Yeah. No, he's number one.

No, Kirby Super Smash Bros. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kirby hasn't really done much since like 2008. But he's still number one. Kirby was great. He was just was he an animal?

Was he a ghost? He was like a ghost marshmallow that just swallowed everything up. Yeah. If you see Kirby Smart, you do think about Kirby the big blob and the fatter to his cheeks get the more that his visor pushes his his fat face out a little bit. Yeah. You start. It doesn't look great for him.

But every now and again, it's good to see Kirby win one. Yeah. Because like he started, he started to get that whole label of like it's kind of like Mark Rick when he coached Georgia is everyone that coaches there. If you don't beat Alabama, then you become the this guy can't win the big one game. Yes. This was big for him. This is big for Kirby's worldwide.

The Badgers fell on their face. I'm still I'm still going to believe in Graham Mertz. I'm not going to get off this train. That sucked though. But you know what? In a weird way, I was sitting there on Saturday around 3 30 and I was like, guess what losing the first game? My only real takeaway is like the first game change that they've made where you have to

play conference opponents sucks. I don't like it. I really liked starting the season against like South Florida or UNLV or Akron or someone and putting up like 60 points and not even have to turn my brain on until like the third or fourth week of September. I don't like what I love about those games is every single fan base out there of like a decent school gets to spend. You get an entire bonus week of getting to claim that your team is really, really good

this year. I want that. And then you get to compare resumes. Well, we beat College of Charleston by 55 points. Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, we beat Western Kentucky by 61 point, then you have to go back and forth and figure out what that conversion rate is.

Yes. And each fan base can get a claim to, yeah, we should be ranked higher than we are right now. I miss that. I want the cupcakes. I want the cupcakes back. Cupcakes are delicious. I don't know why we ever look down on cupcakes.

Starting all of September and just eating a shitload of cupcakes is a great way to start the college football season. But yeah, I, uh, the Badgers losing the first game is a weird thing because it's like, all right, well, now I can't be let down because it's already happened. So I'm sure they'll find a way to get back in it to then let me down. But I'm like, calmly at peace. I was like, well, that was, it's, it's almost the, uh, it's the, uh, what's Homer Simpson's dad's name?

Abe Simpson. Yeah. It's a walking in and walking out. Like that was my, that was my 2021 Wisconsin Badger season. I walked in. Oh, okay. And then walked out. Done.

Don't torture me. Don't William Wallace me. Don't make me last entire season getting drawn and quartered until you finally decide to cut my head off. Yes. Do it immediately if you're going to do it at all. My big complaint about week one is that I wish that Notre Dame had won more convincingly so that we could get the narrative of Notre Dame being this, this is the year where they're

actually going to challenge some of the big boys, but they ended up winning and over time they won by three points, which I could, you could make the argument that that's a win for Florida state. Yes. Correct. Correct. And Mackenzie Milton was an awesome story. Joe Tessitor, I think used the word catastrophic 75 times.

It was a very significant knee injury that he suffered and it was an awesome thing that he was like back in there. It was, it was basically the college football version of Alex Smith. He hadn't played in three years. He came back. He looked good. Also shout out the ghost of Bobby Bowden. So everyone was saying Bobby Bowden broke up that last pass that in regulation to put

Notre Dame into field goal range. I, I feel like if that was Bobby Bowden, he wasted it at the wrong time on like a third down conversion. Like why would you, why wouldn't you just wait till overtime or I don't know, whatever. Either way, shout out the ghost of Bobby Bowden. A lot of people were saying that he broke that pass up, which yeah, you know, it always makes you feel good, but then they lost. So he must have just turned the TV off up in heaven.

Yeah. If you're going to be using your ghost play, I feel like if you're dead, you get probably like one ghost play a year. That's what, that's what you get in the afterlife. You, I would personally wait to use my ghost play on a game winning play. It's like, if they're kicking a field goal to tie the game, I'd like fart out real quick and blow it wide. Right.

I would do the ghost play. It's got to be like, or like a kick return or a pick six, not literally the guy just caught the ball and dropped it because Bobby Bowden broke it up, but it was third down and then they went to overtime and lost anyway. I would just maybe Bobby Bowden, like, if you want to put this on his coaching resume, I think he's one of the greatest coaches of all time. But if you're going to say that was a ghost play, that has to go on his resume. So he's O and one as a ghost.

Correct. But like it's a quality loss. Yeah. No, it's, it's not a bad loss. Yeah. It's, it's like to be expected. He outperformed the expectation for his ghost in week one. It's not like Washington losing to Montana.

No. Or Vanderbilt losing to, I think East Tennessee, shout out Kansas, by the way, who rushed the field after they beat an FCS. After they beat an FCS team. But you know what? For Kansas, I say just like, let them do what they got. Let Kansas feel good about themselves for at least one week because I don't know when they get to play against Texas and beat them.

But that's really besides the annual upset of Texas, the highlight of your year. I, going back to the ghost play, I agree with the kick return for a touchdown. Yeah. It's cool ghost play. The better way is if they're returning a kick for a touchdown and they trip Daniel Jones. Yeah. They do the trip on the 18 yard line. Then you're like, Bobby stuck his foot out.

Yes. That would be great. Yeah. So Bobby, if you have, if you're listening to this, which I sure you are, cause you, you're not only in, he was an AWO in life. Oh, wow. Louisville is terrible. Uh, he's, it was an AWO in life, but we, we are the number one ghost podcast out there.

Sports, sports ghost podcast. We respect ghosts. We've had the most ghost guests on our show of any podcast. Tommy LaSorte is listening to this right now. That I know. Dodgers look good. Tommy. Also shout out Brian Kelly, the Brian Kelly comedy jam after the game.

So, uh, there was knots. So you want to put that clip in actually. Thank you. Your team's ability to withstand Florida State's impressive comeback. Yeah. Uh, you know, I'm in favor of, uh, execution, maybe, maybe our entire team needs to be executed after tonight. I mean, we just didn't execute very well.

Brian Kelly's problem was you never want to set up your own joke. Like that's the problem is he, he tried to set himself up and that's where he failed. Well, you can, you can hear the change in his voice and on his face as he's delivering the punchline and he's thinking to himself, I really fucked this one up. Right. I'm not a funny guy. Why, who, who's idea was it? What part of my brain told me that now would be a good time to make a joke cause he's,

his delivery is just, it's awful. And then the, uh, we talked about like a couple of weeks ago, the Ted Lasso, uh, human centipede. That's what happened here because no one was actually upset because everyone knew that he was quoting someone else. And then people got upset at a fake perceived upset. Like Dan Woken tweeted, like people are upset about like nothing because no one's actually upset. I'm like, dude, you're, you're saying that you're the, you're the, you're the fake outrage

king. I'll say that there's like, of all the coaches in the FBS, he's probably, um, he's probably the one with the highest percentage when he says that joke, whereas like maybe he's serious. Right. But still it's like 99.99999. Saban, maybe. Yeah. Saban.

Yeah. Maybe. Cause he never got caught. Right. We don't know. Right. He might, he might execute his entire team. Saban's probably killed, but we, the body of evidence isn't as big as it is against

Brian kill. Hey, shout out Nick Saban. He is, uh, finally cracking some smiles. He put on that, that leather helmet after they whooped Miami, which Alabama's at the point now to where we're going to talk to Andy Staples about, uh, LSU. We're not dodging it. We're going to talk to him about LSU. Um, Saban's at the point now where he doesn't even care who they schedule like start the

season. We're just going to go to Atlanta or we're going to go to New Orleans or we're going to go to Jerry's world. We're going to kick the shit out of Saban. I have an addiction I'm trying to recover from. I'm addicted to being wrong about Alabama every single year in week one or whenever they play their first. Yeah.

Yeah. Like you, I know, I know in my heart of hearts that Alabama is still a wagon. They're still going to dominate any team, especially a team like the U, but I'm always like, I don't want to be, I don't want to be one year late on my take about Alabama. And so I keep going back. I keep falling forward. It's like Lucy pulling the fucking football out from Charlie Brown every year. And I don't keep it wrong.

I never thought that Alabama was going to lose this game. I thought maybe Miami would cover the spread and every King, every year. Yeah. Derek King. That's such a sweet name. They've got the turnover chain. You also don't want to be a year late on being like Miami's back to use back. So it was like a perfect storm of just my brain fighting a useless, windless battle against

itself that happens every year in week one or two. Yeah. They're always so fucking good. All right. Savings also about Mercer. Oh yeah. Let's say that is sex. So movement watches, MVMT watches in a tiny apartment, Southern California, two college

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of offensive team Saban said of Mercer, which essentially is like, they're a different kind of offensive team. They will not score on us no matter what they're, they're a different team from like he's just stating facts right now, right? Team that we played this weekend is different from Mercer. Yeah. We'll say looking at Mercer schedule, they did beat point university 69, nothing last week.

Wow. Different kind of team. Oh, and they also, the kicker missed the extra point that would have made it 70 to nothing. Right. The kicker was like, you're welcome for the nice score, bringing back 69 jokes. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that story. Yeah.

I think you're only a barstle athlete. You're only allowed. Yeah. No, he is. I think that's how he responded. Yeah. You're only allowed to make 69 jokes if you're actually the athlete that makes that score happen.

That creates that you're a cop on the internet. Yes. Um, or Rob Grunkowski. He's all he's just grandfathered in shout out Arkansas. By the way, they get my spread champion of the week. Did you see that game? On 17 seven halfway through the third quarter and they covered a 19 point spread. I did not see that.

Good for them. That's insane. Okay. Keep them in the tickler fight. They're going to get whooped by Texas this week, probably, even though I do love the must bust and Sam Pittman is a Sam Pittman is like a, uh, uh, he's like a Walmart version of coach. Oh, and I mean that in a nice way.

I'm not trying to be mean about it. I actually love him, but he's kind of like that. He's got like a very funny, gregarious way about him. That's awesome. Um, my God damn it. You piece of shit. What the fuck are you thinking? You ruin the spread for me the week goes to, I'm going to give it PJ Fluck.

Oh, yeah. Not understanding math. Like a fucking idiot. Yeah. You got to go for two. You got to go for two at the end of the game. We didn't get to talk about that because it was on Thursday night. I think after we taped that game started, but I'm convinced no matter what that CJ Stroud

will always suck at quarterback just because of how poorly he played in the first half. But his guys are, I know, I know, but trust me, I will not get off this take. It's burned. It's seared into my brain from watching just how bad he was in that first half. And then you're right. It's just like the people that he's thrown to are all very, very good. Yeah. Crystal Lave is so awesome.

So yeah, they're, that was a very, uh, like perfect Ohio State. Oh, is Ohio State going to be had this year and then no, no, they're really fucking good as usual. Any other college football thoughts, anything, anyone else, anyone, anyone, Rutgers is back. Yeah. Like a 40. Oh, shout out, UMass. They got Liam.

What are they? Oh, they got, did they get goose egged? Uh, no, they scored. They hit the over. Yeah, that's right. They attacked me. They're like, you can't believe it. Pits the worst offensive team ever.

And they somehow they had pit had a third in gold from like the 23 when I was looking at it and I was like, it gets you mad. So I was like, I love college football. That's the best. Shout out to Randy Edsel. We get into it a little bit with Andy Staples, but big cat and I did not realize that he had gone back on his initial claim. And like after that loss, Randy Edsel said he, it was the ultimate PR one on one.

I'm going to retire after this year is over, hoping that that would save his job through the end of the year. Uh, and just saying like, you don't have to fire me. I'll quit. But at the end of the year and then about 12 hours later, he's like, actually just kidding. I think I'm fired. Yeah. Like great job.

Yukon. Yeah. Sniffing out that masterful PR move by Randy Edsel like, no, you don't get to say that. Did you see some of the names that were floated around? Dan Orlovsky was on the list, which I don't really understand because I have to imagine that ESPN pays him more than Yukon would. Jeff Fisher. Definitely.

Jeff Fisher should be on there. Oh, I like that. Rob Ryan. Why not? Jim Calhoun. Why not? Yeah. Jim Calhoun would probably get them back to glory.

I actually, the BCS. Yes. I think so. Yeah. Who's the biggest celebrity in the history of Yukon? Ray Allen. What are you going to say? What are you going to say?

Go ahead, Billy. Aaron Hernandez is his older brother. Oh, God, Billy. Well, it's his older brother. All right. There it is. Nice. His older brother.

Yes. He stole plays, remember? Yeah. I mean, you can get some great ghost plays out of the age. Yeah. That's true. All right. He would choke away everything.

Should we talk, talking soccer real quick? Because the US sucks. Well, we've got two draws. I mean, we should just say it. I vote no. We've got two draws. Two draws. Well, we got it.

Because I just want to say, well, all I want to say is it would be a shame. It feels like the shame is starting to take place. No. It would be a shame. Here's what's up. Right now we can blame it. We didn't have our best squad out there in either game. A shame.

Is this the World Cup? Yeah. It's the qualifiers for the World Cup. A shame. It would be a shame. A. Let's talk tennis. Should we do tennis now?

We already did. Bill Cowher's there. That was a lot of talking tennis. This is Canada's best team in like 40 years. So there you go. It's their golden generation. It's their golden generation. It's their golden generation.

I think that they're ranked number like 45 in the world. So it's the best team Canada's ever put out. I just wanted to say it's a shame just so that I'm on the record. I feel like some people think I'm trolling. I'm saying it's a shame if we don't make the World Cup again. I'm sure that if we just hide every single game in qualification and then we won the play-in game, then I think that would be enough to get us there. Yes.

All right. Let's do who's back the week. Actually, you know what? I'm just getting pre-spin zone for this. I don't want to play in cutter. All the human rights abuses going on over there. And during football season? During football.

Most importantly? But it's probably going to be a lot during the week and at different times of the day. But still, I don't want to have to use my brain. I don't think that's the... I think it's actually beneath the United States, Big Cat, to play in a World Cup in stadiums that were built by little slaves. Yeah, we're withdrawing. We're withdrawing from the World Cup.

I'm boycotting the World Cup. Unless the U.S. makes it, in which case, I might still boycott it. And if they don't, it's a shame. And I feel bad. And it would be a real shame. All right. Cash app. Who's back the week?

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So don't be the last person to pay for your league. Use the Cash App. Hit your friends up. Very easy to use. That one scumbag who doesn't pay until like week 16. Yeah, you, Tom, I'm talking to you. What the fuck, man? Give me another name.

Brian, how could you do that? Brian. Greg's pissed. Your commissioner is pissed. Greg is pissed because Brian will not pay on time. Mick. Mick. You guys want to pick this kid's draft order?

Sure. Justin, Mick, Parker, Peyton, Jack, Jackson, Matt, Greg. All right. Parker. We got to go Jack and Jackson together at the end of the draft. Okay. Parker won. That way gets confusing with four picks in a row.

Parker won. What are the other ones? Peter? Yeah. Parker won. Justin, Mick, Parker, Peyton, Jack, Jackson, Matt, Greg. Jack, Jackson, Matt. Wait.

Yeah. Go Peyton, too. Matt, Greg, three, four. Mick. Mick, five. And then the Jackson, Jackson's. All right. Is that, is that it?

Close. All right. By the way, we're going to have an update on our draft that Jerry did for us tomorrow. We're going to have a show tomorrow. It's going to be a Wednesday. We're going to have a show tomorrow. All right. Who's back?

We can't. I'm trying to type. No, it's okay. Don't cut this. Don't cut this. Oh, yo. U.S. Open low key. Just like it's the center for white girl wasted.

Dude, I feel like all the clips are just chicken fingers in a Coke. Yeah. Yeah. Getting smashed on some, on some Zen. It's like hot seat Nashville bachelorette parties because all the white girls are going to flushing meadows. Yes. Just getting hammered.

The honeydews elite drink. What? Honeydews. Take on the, take on the cup. Did you take it home? Yeah. It's called the honeydews. Yeah.

It's called the honeydews. Do you have enough room in your apartment for it? A little bit. Yeah. The honeydews. Yeah. I fucking love it. Did you get white girl wasted?

Yeah. I did not. Jay, give us a quick talking status. You went to, you went to the art. Yeah. I went to see Francis Tiafo, who was one of the best Americans out there. He came up short against the Canadian. Oh, wow.

It's golden generation. This guy, Brooks B, he took a 6-1 first set over joking. I can't say that one. I can't say that one. Why? Because it's Bryson. Oh, Brooks B, not Brooks E. All right.

So my who's back in the week is, well, first program. You had fun, Jake. Friday, obviously, there might not have been as many people listening. Get ready for the holiday. Our Grit Week video dropped and PFT said that if we get 300,000 subscribers on our YouTube channel, he will take his sunglasses off. Drop the shades down. Back to that into your consideration.

Fans are back. Yep. Talked about in the beginning. Daniel Bryan and Adam Kohler back, AEW and WWE. I'm not even super into wrestling, but I just like following what's going on. It seems like there's a big, I don't know what you call it. They're just both going for the top. Our guy Tony Khan is just, he's getting all the actual good wrestlers from WWE.

Right. And it's like, you know, fans are clearly drawn to just good wrestling. They don't care necessarily as much about the name. It's interesting to follow. I've enjoyed, I don't, again, I don't follow wrestling. I don't really know what's going on, but I like seeing, I like seeing the pops. There's been some good pops. There's been great pops.

And Max Verstappen. Wait, are you getting, are they going over on you right now? Are you the mark? Yeah, you are. I was, I was, yeah, I was marking so hard for the pops. Big time mark. Yeah, Max Verstappen is back-to-back wins. He won in his home Holland.

And, and, and, and Bottas, Sebastian Bottas. Yeah. So, I stepped down from Mercedes, which seems like that's got to be the best seat in F1. Well, I'd say it's the top job. It's, it's kind of sucks because you basically are, you're in an incredible car, but you always have to let Lewis Hamilton win. But like, can't you, if I, let's say I'm a up and comer, I would just say, yeah, I'll do whatever.

And then once I get in the car, just to start winning. And then no fire you. Well, what sucks is like, if you, all the people who are actually, if you win, you'd want them to drive in your car, they already have jobs. Yeah. No, they'd fire your ass. I mean, it's a, it's a good seat. But you, I actually would be fine with it because it's like no pressure.

You just have to show up, finish like fourth, third, every now and then, and you make a shitload of money. And you're like, yeah, my team won. But you do have to be a cock. You have to be a total cock. Also that came out last week that the, the PGA tour is starting their own Netflix series. Drive to survive. Built around, drive to survive.

So drive to survive was their inspiration. So it's them watching drive to survive? No, it's going to be a PGA tour base, but that should be exciting. So they're trying to do hard knocks, but for golf. Got it. That sounds awesome. Wonderful getting any Brooksby content. Hopefully.

Oh, by the way, we should have said that. Yeah. We should have talked about that. Thoughts and prayers to Brooks Capca. Yeah. Like I just got a pretty much broken wrist. I think some, yeah, some people are out there like saying he's dodging or something. Uh, he, he had a wrist injury that could have killed him.

Yeah. He hit a root. A lot of people hit trees. He also, the tournament was for like a hundred million dollars. And he died. And he dropped out of like, you don't drop out of that. Yeah. Right.

Right. I think, yeah, listen, you've got a lot of arteries, I think in your wrist, or at least like you can see, I can see blood somewhere in there. And so the fact that his golf club didn't just cut his hand off, modern miracle. Uh-huh. It just shows you how tough Brooks is. Yeah. Just, just every time you think about treating something mean to Brooks, just remember that

he's human too. And also he's, his wrist is so mangled that he can't even defend himself online. Right. Right. Exactly. Probably won't be able to jerk off. Yeah. Talk some prayers.

Think about that for a second, folks. Yeah. No online bullying of golfers. Brooks loved masturbating. Yeah, he did. His favorite thing to do. Uh, my, my who's back in the week is putting your TVs outside. Yeah.

It's actually my favorite tradition when it comes to like week one, week two college football, when it's really nice outside, like not too hot, not too cold, we're talking like 60s, 70s all day. And you're like, you know what, it's a shame that I'm not going to be able to just spend the day outside because this really feels like a great day to get outdoors, but it also just so happens, I've got a date with 12 hours of college football and you make a compromise with yourself and you bring your entire setup and you put it maybe sometimes just in the window sill.

Uh-huh. Or you run an extension cord that goes like to your patio table and then you spend the whole day outside still watching college football and being lazy, but you feel like you're a real outdoorsman by getting and take that time on your porch. It's no joke. All I want in life is to just have an outdoor living room with like multiple TVs and not even do it for September. I'm talking like November when you can smell that like burnt leaf and it's cold.

I want to be outside watching college football when it's 40 degrees and have a blanket and just be like, yes. Or sometimes when you've got the jacuzzi set up right next to the TVs. That's all I want. That's nice, but I especially love the people that don't have like a fancy outdoor kitchen set up. They just throw the TV outside and they're like, I'm bringing the television outdoors today.

Yeah, look at me. That's the one thing that outdoors is severely lacking. People say how great it is. If it was that great, it would have televisions in it. Do you know what we should do? We should bring our beds outside. Yes. Maybe on our balcony.

I like that. Yeah. Credit us. Credit us. Maybe drink some beers. Yup. Credit us. On the balcony.

Yeah. Credit us. We came up with this idea if anyone talks about beers or beds on balconies that was our idea first. And then we'll be guesting on Wednesday as part of my take. Yes. All right. My who's back of the week is eating weird shit on a telecast because I was at the gambling

house on Saturday. I had six TVs set up, so we're watching all the games and I think it's mostly SEC network is really the king of it, but whenever there's a blowout in the third and fourth quarter and they're just like, let's get our sideline report, eat some weird shit. And there's like, this is, I'm eating pudding. I'm eating. They just start eating random shit to fill time. And I love it.

I like it. Because it's very caught. Like they don't do that in the NFL. They really, it really is just college football because like this town has this great delicacy and it's just like it's bananas inside of like a cookie. Yeah. So there was always like Tony Sergusa would get caught doing it on an NFL broadcast. But it was by accident.

Right. It wasn't because it's like, hey, let's cut down to Tony who's like going deep into the bowels of the Meadowlands to find there. He's just already naturally rolling around with like a couple, I don't know, like pickled quail testicles. Yeah. Just in case he gets a little package on the sideline. But it's just, it's something about college football because there's more blowouts and

they'll just, they always have that ready to go. I think there was a moment in time on Saturday where I think three of the six TVs had a sideline reporter eating something. Yeah. I love it. I love that weird stuff too. They should, there should be one food stand inside every college football stadium that serves the most fucked up thing possible just in case people get bored at the game.

And if there's a blow and it's like, well, we might as well just go put ourselves through excruciating pain for a couple hours. Yes. All right. Jake. My hot seat. Whoa. Oh, no.

We're good. We're good. We're good. Jake, you better be careful because if you're going to apologize, Memes is going to Castellanos you. Oh my God. Yeah. Are you okay?

Yes. That's a mistake. Do you have a drink you were drinking last night? I had a couple too many. And then you brought it home and drank it again today? Yeah. Oh, fuck. My who's back.

Well, that squirt's getting in your lips. Yeah. By the way, the video, watch the YouTube, the Grit Week video specifically for Jake. Oh my God. Don't think it's that crazy. I'm going to double down on it. Jake, it was, Mike Greenberg would not even do that. Jake, it was a solo cup.

Yeah. I'm going to keep it clean. I think so. What do you, what are you talking about? So Jake, go watch the whole video. It's great. It's in child Corey. It's a great video.

But oh, man. Well, Miranda's there. Jake is at Wingnuts drinking out of his solo cup with his palms and his fingers straight up because they have sauce on it. It's a solo cup. Yeah. I got to keep it clean. It's a cup that's designed to be thrown away.

Throw away. The second you're done with it. You're holding it like it was like your grandmother's ashes. I know. Yeah. Got to respect Ed and Alicia. Okay. Right in front of them too.

I think they would have been okay. Jake, if you, there's an old TV show called the Adventures of Pete and Pete and one time they had a barbecue eating contest. Great show. And they won the contest because the guy they were going up against didn't get any barbecue sauce on his fingers. And it's like, I ate it perfectly. And they're like, actually, no, the whole point of eating messy food like that is to

get messy. Yeah. If you see me with wings, you'll notice I have like the most insane amount of napkins next to me. I just go hard in the paint and just keep clean and clean and go hard in the paint. All right. I'll think about it for next time. Yeah.

My who's back of the week is the off season because it is here for you guys as owners of Water Dogs. Oh, fuck that. I feel bad for them, by the way. This was actually the nicest thing the Water Dogs have ever been have ever done to us. We actually don't deserve what good boys we don't deserve dogs brought because yeah, we did not want them to win this game. So we wouldn't be conflicted for, you know, an actual week of NFL football going up against

the Water Dogs broadcast. So they merciful mercifully decided to lose and the whip snakes, whip snakes are cheaters. Everybody knows that. Dude, I so I watched the second half of this game. I felt bad for the Water Dogs because we have our fun and I do truly hate them. But the guys tried their hardest and I felt bad because I'm sure like there's some bonus for winning that would be incredible for them. So I do feel bad and they gave us a nice run this season.

I'll never forget it. What they the joy they brought me. Well, but the whip snakes are fuck boys. They were like cheating. They were throwing their sticks. I hate the whip snakes. I think they are the biggest pieces of shit I've ever seen and I hope they all lose and never play the cross.

They're going for the three p. Yeah. Who cares? Fuck the whip snakes. I root for two teams. Matt Rambo. All right, Jake. I root for the Water Dogs and whoever's playing against the whip snakes.

Yeah. Fuck the whip snakes. Paul Rables, my goat. Well, guess what? What's more impressive, guys, winning three games in a row or winning the entire regular season title and doing it right by starting the worst. We won the president's trophy. We went.

Congratulations to my Water Dogs. Yeah, we went from worst to first. Boom. Storybook. Yeah. So end of an arrow for this season. Yeah. Figuring better 2022.

Sure. Who cares? Also, I don't really like that the coach, his name is Andy Copeland. There should be a D on the end of his name. Yeah. His name should be Andy Copeland. It's Copeland. That's so stupid.

Every time they show him, I'm like, put a fucking D at the end of your name. That's how I want to say it. Don't you agree, Jake? I mean, it's a name. But I don't care. Put a D there. Wasn't that guy the Copeland? Was he?

Was he like Copeland? The drummer and staying in the police. Yeah. It's. I got really frustrated about that. Like really frustrated. Those are the owners. I'd fire.

Yeah. So all right. If I have the power, Paul Rable. Coach of the year candidate. Mike Rable, if you're listening to this, fire Andy Copeland unless he changes his name to Andy Copeland. Fair. Okay.

All right. Thank you. Billy. Sorry. That's a man for his name. Football is back. That also means football guys are back. I think we'll be starting to do the voting on it next week.

But just a little teaser. We had guys like Brian Kelly trying to execute his whole team. We had Mackenzie Milton who came out after two years being off. But we also had coach Mike Echler with the Tennessee Voles who on his early morning run claimed to have ran away from a pit bull for three blocks straight just to show his pro day 40 and get his heart rate up. So just total football guy. Wasn't one of their coaches bleeding on the sidelines too?

Yeah. It was like bleeding from his eye. I think it was like. Also I'm Vol for life. And so I say this with all respect, but Josh Hypole, he better not like get to the NFL because I love taking pictures of that guy's face. His neck goes on forever. He's my new Frank Beamer.

Something tells me I don't think he's going to make it to the NFL as a head coach. No, he will. Because he's going to be awesome. Theoretically. There was also South Dakota State in the back of their helmets. They had last play written on the back of their helmets. So was that just speculating here? That's because the coach is telling them put your last play behind you.

Is that it? Or is this the last play? Oh, yeah. This could be the last play. It would also like if it's in literally in the back of your mind, that's bad coaching because you want to move on. You want to be a goldfish. What if it was no, no RIP?

What if it was play every play like it's your last play? That could be it too. That would be good. Just last play? Like, you know, the next play is never promised. It should be next play. Last play is, what is it saying, Jake? Last play is a gift.

Tomorrow's a... Live, laugh, love. And the mother's a doctor. Oh, 30th month today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. Yeah. Yeah. So the current play is a gift.

That's why we call it the present. The last play is... When's rent due? Every day. Every day. Every hour of every day. Right now. Yeah.

It's not on. Pay me $50. It's the least. Right this second. How's my milk budget going? I got a tab going. Yeah. What are we at?

Just give me an idea. Double digits. What? It's the sixth. Hey, man. Wait, doubled not triple. All right. Never mind.

Double. I'm an idiot. Double digits. Yeah. Like 50 bucks. It's like 20 bucks right now, right? It is a good amount. I'm gonna bankrupt me.

If you came in, I mean Billy would come in with like $1,000 and be like, no, I swear. He's too skinny right now. Yeah. You definitely haven't been drinking that much milk. You know what Billy would come in? He'd come in with $6,000 receipt and he bought a cow and he put it in his backyard. Look, glass bottles, man. I'm getting glass bottle milk.

Oh, hell yeah. Do you have a milkman? No, I don't buy shit. We should bring back milkmen. Yeah. Milkmen were the shit. They would just like show up wearing their little funny hats. Oh, I thought you were talking about us when we were just chugging milk.

No, the milk boys. Yeah. Milkmen, the ones that would like wear bow ties, drop off milk and then fuck your wife when you were gone. Yes. Anything else from football guys? We're gonna officially bring back football guys next week, right? Yeah.

Okay. This is a little teaser. I love it. Good job, Billy. And you have a blog too. Yeah, we're gonna be blogging it. Whole big thing. Send your submissions in for next week.

Also, Nostradamus the hedgehog is back. He's out of hibernation. He's out giving pigs. All right, let's go. Was he sleeping? Let's go. Not really. What's your record against the spread?

I think it was above 50%. All right, good. Nice. Otherwise, it's gonna be above 50. Probably have to kill him. I'll figure it out. I think it's 52 and a half actually. All right.

Let's get to Andy Staples. PFT, you had a quick word before we get there. Before we get to Andy, we want to talk to you guys about Coors Light. Coors Light's great. If you're drinking anything besides Coors Light, off a cliff. Don't care for it. I love Coors Light. Summer can fly by sometimes, but guess what?

Coors Light is the official beer of slowing down summer. You only have a couple more weeks left in summer. Make the most of it with ice cold Coors Light. Coors Light are the coldest beer in the world. When the mountains are blue, there's no better feeling. There's no better sight. Bubba got to see Blue Mountains for the first time in his entire life this summer. Change his life.

He's only drinking Coors Light. I honestly don't know why you would ever drink anything besides Coors Light while you're watching college football. There's a need to chill on Saturdays. There's a need for Coors Light. This season, Coors Light is helping AWLs keep their chill while we're freaking out over college football and they made custom made-to-chill weighted hoodies to keep us calm. That is such a great idea.

Weighted blankets will change your life. Weighted hoodies, that's just next level thinking. We're giving away five PMT Coors Light prize packs, including these hoodies, each week of the college football season. Might just go ahead and strike that down to four prize packs because I'm definitely going to take one of these hoodies. To inter-tweet us by tagging at Coors Light and hashtag needs to chill with a video of somebody freaking out over a big moment sweating a bet or any other time that somebody needs

some cold Blue Mountains in their life. So again, tweet at us, also tag Coors Light in it and use the hashtag needs to chill. Needs to chill when somebody who's freaking out in big moment, we might select you to win that Coors Light prize pack, including the weighted hoodies. Coors Light is cold-loggered, cold-filtered and cold-packaged. It's literally made to chill. It's as cold as the Rockies. It's the official beer of slowing down summer because as the beer that's made to chill,

we want you to savor every second, get Coors Light and the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart when you go to CoorsLight.com slash take. Celebrate responsibly, Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. Here he is, Andy Staples. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Andy Staples. He covers college football for the athletic. He's got a podcast, the Andy Staples podcast, great logo we've talked about in the past. You can also hear him on SiriusXM.

So check it out, always great information. Andy, we want you on to recap football being back, a great week one. It was great to have fans in the stands. I have a ton of different things I wanted to touch on, but I think we should probably start with LSU UCLA. And I know that people have to, well, here's the thing. So you lost the bet. We're coach-o guys.

I'm worried about coach-o, but we should at least give credit right now to Chip Kelly because Chip Kelly is at the point now where you hear it in the media when they say a guy has it rolling. That basically means that he's, you know, everything is locked in. It does. That's my first question. Does Chip Kelly in fact have it rolling? I think he does.

They can do that to LSU where the talent gap is pretty big between UCLA and LSU. There's nobody UCLA is going to play in the Pac-12 that has that kind of talent. UCLA can beat anybody in the Pac-12. That's what that means on the right night. And if they're playing that way, they're going to beat just about everybody in the Pac-12. I mean, you saw Oregon. They didn't look great. Washington lost to Montana.

USC is what USC has been for the last few years. So yeah, I think this is, I got to go with you noticing the visor first. I think you were the first person to see the visor and understand what that meant. But it's something it's like the Samson hair. I don't know what it is. It's a tell. These guys have tells when they know they have a good team, they're like, I'm going to be cocky again.

It's really just a difference of Chip Kelly caring again because for a while Chip Kelly just obviously didn't care. The offenses that he was running at least like when he was reaching the end of his tenure during the Eagles period, he was just running like the same four plays over and over and over and over again. And he just like kind of didn't like coaching football. Now it seems like he enjoys coaching football again. Well, when we have a discussion on the podcast during the off season, is he the Harper Lee

of football? Like did he have the one big thing in him, which was that blur offense right after they changed the clock rules at Oregon? But no, apparently not. He does have something else because he wasn't going to be able to win with some sort of paradigm shifting thing this time. And he did that once. That's a lightning in a bottle kind of thing.

You're not going to do that again. So the question was, can he just recruit the players to his system to what he wants and then run plays that will win games? And so far that hadn't worked. And now this year it is working. And I mean, they didn't just beat LSU. They whipped LSU. They whipped him up front.

LSU couldn't couldn't get any push from its offensive line. They were all over Max Johnson. That was very impressive because I just didn't know that UCLA would be able to do that with the roster they had. And that was my thing with Chip Kelly. I thought he did the right thing taking the UCLA job because remember, got offered the Florida job at the same time. He never struck me as someone who would enjoy recruiting in the SEC.

And so I thought, okay, he's fine over there, but then they lose so many games those first three years. You're like, okay, maybe not. Maybe that's it. Right. But he always said water the bamboo and, you know, it doesn't do anything. It doesn't do anything. And all of a sudden it shoots up.

Well, maybe this is it. Yeah. So, uh, coach, oh, we love coach, oh, we're not going to say anything bad about coach. We have you on so you can say something bad and we can say, Andy, Andy, that's not right. You shouldn't do that. But obviously this is tough because I think when you watch that game, the thing that struck me the most was like the tackling and just like the, it was just kind of a mess on defense. And like you said, the roster is better than UCLA's.

So then it's coaching. And I think coach, oh, is still, you know, he should have a job. There's the hot seat in my opinion isn't hot yet. But from where you stand, you cover the SEC, like, how is this going to play out? What does he need to do the rest of this season to write the ship? Well, I realized people who were outside SEC country are like, no, no, he won the national title two years ago. There's nothing's going to happen.

Let me remind you of a name, Gene Chiswick. Gene Chiswick won a national title in 2010, went undefeated, was fired in 2012. So it is possible that this happens. And what was disturbing about LSU was the defense, while it schematically better, didn't look fundamentally better. The tackling was still bad. The communication was still bad. The run fits were bad.

It was not what you want to see at LSU and you can have better players, but if you do all that stuff, it doesn't matter. And then offensively, they brought in Jake Pete's, who had been with the Panthers, so he'd been with Joe Brady. And the idea was recapture this whole lightning in a bottle thing that Joe Brady brought them with Joe Burrow. And I think Max Johnson is a good quarterback. The behind the back throwaway.

I was screaming at my TV at that point, like, what are you doing? But I think he's not being helped by his coaching staff, because if you watch, they are up at the line of scrimmage and they are messing with stuff and changing stuff. So there's about two, three seconds left on the play clock every play. You have better players, snap the ball, throw something short, confidence building, and let Cajun Boute catch up a pass, five yards from the line of scrimmage. And you do that two or three times. He's probably going to break one for 50 at some point, especially when you're playing

a less talented team. So that's where perfect is the enemy of good for them. And so they've got two games coming up. They got McNeese State and they got Central Michigan. They need to get that worked out because then they have a stretch of Mississippi State, Auburn and Florida. I'm sorry, Mississippi State, Auburn, Kentucky, Florida. Those are all loseable games if they play the way they played against UCLA.

So they're either going to get this worked out and they'll come out looking like a completely different team after these two warm up games or nothing gets worked out. And we're having the Gene Chiswick conversation mid season. And I think that they will get it worked out in a sense that you had a guy who's playing. I think that was his first time ever calling plays in a game on the road at UCLA. Like this is, I know that we used to always be like, Oh, why do the, why do teams schedule cupcakes at the beginning of the season? Well, this is why you don't want to have your first game be on the road at UCLA.

Like there's, there's things that need to be worked out that you don't get a chance to work them out when you have a tough test. Day one. Well, LSU's dead to me now because as a result of losing, and I was an idiot, I was very high on LSU. They fixed it. They, they made the coordinator hires that will fix this thing. They're going to be really good.

We're talking 10 win team again. And so I was sure they were going to go throttle UCLA. And so I gave my podcast partner Ari Wasserman 15 points in that game. And if I lost, I had to eat a banana. Will Leviss style. So we'll let us the new QB at Kentucky. I'm sure everybody's seen the video. He's a maniac.

He eats the banana peel and all. So I've got to do that on Thursday. I got some bananas today. We're getting them nice and spotty because I can't, they can't be yellow. They can't be green. They're going to need to be about half brown for this to work. But I got to do it now. And it's just, I'm so disgusted with myself for falling for it.

I knew, I was just sure they were going to be great. And I'm watching that game and within maybe a quarter and a half, I'm like, no, I have no chance. And, and, and really he should have given me 15 points. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it was tough. We still love coach.

Oh, nothing about that changes. But in reality, they have, they've got a lot of work to do on defense for sure. So I have a question for you. It's a power ranking, three team power ranking, can you power rank for me? The SEC, the Alliance and then Notre Dame, they're independent. So those are the three options. Okay. We're going to start with the SEC because they have Alabama, which is just a new kind

of nasty. They just find different ways to humiliate everyone. So we'll give the SEC that and plus Georgia, obviously beat Clemson. The Alliance, well, the ACC killed the Alliance this week. You had Clemson losing to Georgia. You had North Carolina losing to Virginia Tech is obviously a conference game, but you thought everybody thought North Carolina was going to be the second best team and they were going to be great.

So that puts them in a weird spot because that, you know, your potential Heisman contender in Sam Howell, well, maybe you don't have that now. Miami got killed by Alabama and then you go over to the pack 12 and you got Washington losing to Montana, Washington state losing. They just, everybody looked pretty bad except for UCLA. And then the big 10 did fine. Nothing, nothing wrong with, with, with the big 10, but the big 10's got those anchors dragging them down.

So we're going to, we're going to have to put the Alliance third, I think. And we'll put Notre Dame second, Notre Dame's comedy chops, not second Notre Dame, Brian Kelly's, if Brian Kelly is on a street corner in New York saying, do you like comedy run away? Yeah. But, yeah. But I put Notre Dame second. I thought Jack Cone did a great job.

I, I, Big Cat, I'm, I'm wondering how did you feel after watching Graham Mertz against Penn State? Okay. And then watching Jack Cone. Obviously didn't go well on Saturday, but, and I'm going to ask you to explain to people, I know the answers, but to explain to people how this works, because I have a feeling I'm going to be explaining away this for a very long time. And no matter what I say, people will just be like, Oh, you're an idiot.

Wisconsin sucks. It's similar actually to the Joe Burrow, Dwayne Haskins thing where Ohio State fans are like, Joe Burrow got hurt. What the fuck do you want us to do? The facts of the matter is Jack Cone got hurt in, in fall of last year, Graham Mertz is now the starter. If you then have Jack Cone stay and start this year, Graham Mertz transfers and Graham Mertz is a sophomore and you lose the potential of what he could be.

So it's pretty much a no brainer from Paul Chris's, you know, you know, point of view. You can't start a guy, then sit him and expect him to stay. Now I'm still, I'm still holding my stock in Graham Mertz, but this is, this happens, right? Like this can't. Yes. It happens. It happens all the time.

And the thing with, with Mertz is he's also the highest ranked quarterback recruit Wisconsin's ever signed. Correct. And if you, if you chase those guys away, maybe they don't come back and that's what you worry about. Now Paul Chris does not strike me as the kind of guy who worries about that. He's just trying to win games. And I think, yeah, they probably felt like all things were equal.

We'll go with the younger guy, which makes perfect sense. But Jack Cone looks really good in that offense and look Notre Dame's got a very good offensive line has, has had a very good offensive line for years. Michael Mayer is a fantastic weapon. And then you saw Austin finally, he was one that everybody was excited about for a couple of years and just never really broke out, but he looked good. Those backs are good. So Cone's going to have a good year.

Yeah. He's going to look really good. And of course, I mean, it's not like they play each other at soldier field. Yeah. No, and, and, and I think Tommy Reese is a very good play caller. And I think they're, they're going to just run a different offense at Notre Dame that's a little more wide open and pushes the ball down the field. I just, I'm going to, I know the future.

I'm just going to have to explain this away forever. I should just give up. I should put in my Twitter bio, the Jack Cone broke his foot. He broke his foot. So there was no choice. Go find a Georgia fan. Yeah. Go find a Georgia fan and ask them how they've been explaining Jake Fromm over Justin Fields.

You can, you can look at it now and go, how in the world did Currie Smart pick Jake Fromm? Well I remember when that happened, Jake Fromm had just taken them to the national title game. It was not an easy decision. Right. So it hurts. It's just, you're going to have to deal with that big cat and, and that's, but see that's what happens when you get in the world of the high four star and the five star recruit,

you got to start explaining this stuff away. Right. And I'm just, yeah, I think I'm going to just change my name to, on Twitter to Jack Cone broke his foot in 2020. Like that's just what happened. Okay. Guys, like that is the fact of the matter. I, I have a question about the Penn State, Wisconsin game in relation to Georgia Clemson

those are the, I actually think Georgia Clemson was far more boring yet the national media fawns over one and mocks the other. And I probably am part of the, the problem when I mock it because I do it out of love. I do love like the big 10, just punt fast and, and hard nose defense, but the second half of Wisconsin Penn State was dramatic Clemson, Georgia was, gave me what I wanted. Yeah. Clemson, Georgia was just like watching a team suffocate another team to death. Yeah.

Yeah. Clemson, Georgia. It's great, great analogy. I remember I was with my, my son at the alligator farm in St. Augustine down here in Florida and we saw a bunch of people rushing into this one building and what are they doing? Oh, they're feeding the pythons. And that's exactly what it was watching a reticulated Python crush a bunny for an hour. And Penn State, Wisconsin wasn't like that at all because they were getting into the

red zone and then things were happening or interceptions that were, you know, and so I thought that game was extremely satisfying to watch and it might have been because it was noon and it was an appetizer. So it's basically, you know, how good are your potato skins or your, your, your spinach artichoke dip versus your steak. That's, that's what we're talking about, but I was very happy with that game, enjoyed the hell out of it. You know, and, and I could have made the big 10 jokes, but I thought, because here's

the thing, like when Penn State scored, they scored on big plays. They scored an explosive plays and they've got another, listen, but I'm curious to see if they have to have a, a Will Levis, Sean Clifford conversation. If the Penn State fans have to start making excuses now, Kentucky wasn't playing anybody tough. So Will Levis has this huge game, but they never let Will Levis throw last year. Right. He's pretty good at it.

Right. So Sean Clifford, Sean Clifford will continually be judged against whatever Will Levis is doing at Kentucky. And so he passed that first test, which is, I think that's huge. I think going to camp Randall and winning in week one is just massive for them. Now they got Auburn in week three, but that just sets them up. And I don't want to sound bitter, but like, honestly, if Sean Clifford was better, they Penn State probably would have won by more.

They would like, he missed some things. Like it was almost reminiscent of like when, when Wisconsin kept Ohio State to seven points of big 10 championship game, it was JT Barrett and I was like, anyone else playing quarterback right now in Ohio State runs us off the field. So he left some plays out there. Oh, he did. And there, there's one that was an under throw where I think it was Dotson was just wide open. I think they might end up scoring on that drive anyway, but it was, yeah, but the fact

that they could do that, that they could make some explosive plays happen and they could win that game because the way last season started for them was everything going wrong. You know, Michael Parsons hops out early, Journey Brown has some medically retired right before the season starts. Noah Cain gets hurt on the first series in the Indiana game and then they lose the gut punch with Michael Pinnock's, you know, stretching out and I think it was double overtime. And so that sort of set them up for failure for the rest of the year. I feel like this sets them up for success the rest of the way.

I think you're right too about the fact that like if it's, if the game's at noon, if the sun's out while I'm watching a punt fast or while I'm watching like a bunch of turnovers in the red zone and you're right, there were like several times where teams got close to scoring and then it just seemed like there was a force working against it that would stop these teams from breaking the scoreless draw. But if you look at it under the lights, under the lights, football just looks faster for some reason. It does.

And, but, but that was a different game because Clemson and Georgia weren't getting into the red zone. Yeah. They were just, you know, they were playing between the forties and punting. And I thought, here's the thing for the people who think, oh, Georgia doesn't have an offense. You got to remember, uh, Curious Jackson, not playing any offensive snaps, Downey Blalock not playing any offensive snaps, they're going to have more weapons at receiver as the season goes on.

Uh, they're, they're Darnell Mayberry, they're, they're quarter, uh, sorry, Darnell Washington, their tight end was hurt too. So they're going to have more weapons in terms of the passing game. And I thought eventually they wore down Clemson's defensive line enough that they were getting some yards on the ground on the fourth quarter. And that Alabama is the only other defensive line they're going to see that's anything close to that. So if they can do that to Clemson's D line, they can do that to anybody.

And the passing game cannot help but get better because JT Daniels is basically throwing to a freshman tight end all night. Like that was all he had. Yeah. They're going to get three or four guys back. What's, uh, this might be like two in the weeds, but what's the deal with Clemson's offensive line? Cause they get guys, but they don't translate to pros and like the rest of the team does

translate to pros, but it clearly was their weakness last year. It clear, I mean, obviously Georgia's nothing to take away from Georgia. Their defensive line is probably the best in the country, but it does feel like that's continually a weakness for them. And like, it's confusing to me because you think they have it rolling, they'll just plug in guys. They'll always be good, but it doesn't seem like that's the case. They don't get the raw material that some of these other schools do.

And it's, it's weird because they should given what else they do, but they got Jackson Carmen out of Ohio a few years ago, and Jackson Carmen just went to the NFL. And that was, we thought would be the last sort of step where now all of a sudden they're going to get the five-star, every five-star offensive linemen they want to, and then there's no stopping them after this, but they just haven't. And like, I remember Mitch Hyatt started for them for four years and then didn't get drafted. Right. It didn't make sense.

Clemson Simpson, who's probably their best offensive linemen in terms of a pro prospect in the last few years, he was not a huge recruit. He was a good recruit who then they didn't develop into a very, very good college player, but they just haven't gotten those guys. Like Alabama's got the five stars across the board. Ohio State is moving NFL tackles into guard because they have so much talent at tackle. Clemson for whatever reason has not gotten to that point, Georgia has those guys. If you looked at Georgia's offensive line, those guys had not played together very much,

but all of them were extremely talented as recruits. And it showed as the game went on that here they're playing complete monsters because like Brian Brisee at Clemson is unbelievable. And this is a guy you can't move. He's quick. He's going to get past you. By the end of the game, they were opening holes for seven, eight-yard gains. So I think that's the difference between Clemson and the other elite super elite programs

is for whatever reason, those guys seem to get the better offensive line recruits. Can you help us nitpick Alabama? If we were to like focus on one thing where we're like, you know what, we want to be the guys who are like, we like Alabama, but this is how you beat them. I had a friend text me as he was watching the Alabama Miami game and he goes, they even have an automatic kicker and I'm like, yeah, that's it. That's the last thing. Yeah.

That was the last thing they didn't have. And actually, you know what I always say, Andy, I just like, I'll always say, well, Nick Saban has trouble playing against mobile quarterbacks and just hope that nobody actually fact checks me. Yeah. Cause like, like three times in 10 years because they lost to Johnny Manziel and Johnny Manziel, Chad Kelly, and Swag Kelly, baby, three times in 10 years, you're like, yeah, they struggle. It's unbelievable.

Yeah. But yeah, getting the automatic kicker is essentially like closing the exhaust port on the death star. It's like nailing that shut. And there's nothing else. There's no, and, and Bryce Young, it's a, it gets a completely different way to destroy you now. Cause Mac Jones would, would catch the snap, sit back there, read, read, read up there.

There's my guy. Boom. Easy completion. And he just do that over and over and over again. Bryce Young catches the snap and then he, he's a, he's a good runner, but he's running with the idea of setting up some time for himself. So he's not going to try to gain 10 yards scrambling. He's got to run to a spot and then just sit there and realize, okay, now I have five seconds

to throw and there's no DB in the world that can stick with my guys for five seconds. I felt so bad for Miami's corners because every time he would just sort of scramble, one Miami player would get like a hand through past one of the offensive linemen and Bryce Young would see it and just kind of roll and he'd go about 10 yards away and then he just set up and, and the poor Miami corners just like, no, I can't, I can't, I'm not going to make it anymore. And then he just find a wide open guy. It was tough.

The, the, the moment, the, the saddest moment for Miami was when there was that turnover. They put on the turnover chain. They got overturned. They were down 27, nothing put on a turn, turnover chain, which is sad in its own right. And then it got overturned. He had to put it back in. I'm like, Jesus Christ, guys, stop. Reopened the case of the turnover chain and then place it delicately, somberly, sadly,

like, like they're laying it to rest. It's like when you, you're working at a jewelry store and you got somebody come in and they're going to buy the, the most expensive engagement ring in the store. And in the middle of it all, the couple like gets into a fight over the phone and breaks up to put it back in the, in the case. It's like, if you're going jewelry shop, you're like, you know what? I think that, that necklace is going to be the one they take it out for you. You look at it and you're like, Oh, that's how much it costs.

Yeah. And you like have to like make up an excuse. No. Oh, you know what? I'll be back. I left my good credit card in the car. Let me just run out and grab that. I'll be right back.

Yeah. I was sad. My black, my black card's in the helicopter. Yeah. I think they should not do the turnover chain unless it's a one score game. That should be the rule. We're going to get back to any staples in a second. But before we do want to talk to you about simply safe, how many people do you think had

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Simply safe is offering 20% off your entire new system in your first month of monitoring service for free when you enroll in interactive monitoring. Again that's simply safe.com slash PMT. Now more Andy Staples. Worst loss this weekend because there was a lot of bad losses. I think was it like six FCS teams beat FBS teams? Holy cross. Yukon ended Randy Edsel.

No Andy. No. He independently said he's going to retire after the season's over. That clip. Oh no. He's out now. You guys didn't see the email. Oh.

He's done. Fully done. Fully done. That clip where the coach, I think it might have been the defensive coach asked for everyone's hands in the middle and no one reacted. That was so sad. So so sad. Yeah.

They have basically become the Bishop Sycamore of the FBS like their job is to go get paid to get beat and it's it's pretty sad. They were in a BCS. Yes. They played in a Fiesta Bowl. Yes. Not long 2010 was the season. I mean it that Oklahoma Yukon Fiesta Bowl is probably what they play on loop and hell

but it's a they made it. They were there. They were there. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But so yeah. What worst loss this weekend in your mind?

I want to know what yours is. I want to say Washington, Montana because I expected more out of them. I thought Washington was going to be a team that might contend for the Pact 12 title and who knows? Maybe they are. But I felt like we didn't get a chance to see what Washington under Jimmy Lake would look like last year. They only I think they only play four games.

You know, he he was the automatic choice to succeed Chris Peterson and it seemed like a great choice. He was going to do the same things they were doing except maybe open things up a little bit. Try to get a little bit higher caliber recruit Chris Peterson on said we're getting the OK G's the R kind of guys. Well, Jimmy Lake wants the R kind of guys who happens to be a four star or five star. But they had good talent in Seattle in that recruiting class.

They didn't go to Washington. They didn't all to them went to Ohio State and then you you open with a loss to Montana that that's just I thought they were going to be better and who knows? Maybe they go in and beat Michigan this week and I'm completely wrong. But that does not seem like a an auspicious start for them. OK, so my worst loss is Georgia Tech because I actually believed in Jeff Collins. I actually think like I remember was it maybe two years ago they had a string where they started playing teams really tough.

And it was like these guys are fighting for him and he's a he's a real football guy. But like this is what year three for him. Number four and three. That's a head scratcher. Is it not? It is. And because everywhere he's been, the defense has been good, whether it was the DC at Mississippi State or the DC at Florida.

And then at Temple, his teams were tough. They were well coached. They got after you. Now, maybe that was Matt rule had stocked the cupboard. But granted, the roster flip you've got to do at Georgia Tech is pretty tough. But all you have to do is look at look at what Mike Norvell did through the transfer portal to change what Florida State looked like. And Florida State last year was was a noncompetitive team was a team that Georgia Tech beat and

you saw Florida State. They didn't win against Notre Dame, but they were certainly in the game and they'll certainly be competitive in the ACC now. And that was done through the transfer portal. Jeff Collins had to change from an option offense and and and running the option affects your defense too, because D linemen don't want to come because they're going to they think they're going to cut at practice every day. So it does take some time.

But by year three, and this was a guy who was a very good recruiter as an assistant. I mean, he's a guy who in SEC country is regarded as a great recruiter, which means you could recruit anywhere. And so the fact that they haven't gotten better is a little concerning because they should not be losing to Northern Illinois at this point. Yeah. And like Washington's a good answer because you do think like Washington lose to Montana. Like the other ones like Vandy losing to an FCS team.

That's all right. Yeah. That's Vandy. And there was a 99 yard fluky about it. Yeah. And there was a 99 yard return that got overturned because they celebrated the last 20 yards. 20 yards of toning. I actually think I actually think the penalty should be wiped off the board if you can taunt

for 20 yards. Yeah. Get away with it. There needs to be a look if you can if you can talk. Okay. So it's a 15 yard penalty from the spot, right? So if you can talk for the length of the penalty, you should the penalty should be wiped off the board.

If you can taunt for 15 or more yards, it should be zero penalty touchdown counts. Agreed. Agreed. 100 percent. Agreed. What about what Iowa State winning 16 to 10? That might be considered a loss. Like that was everyone thought that Iowa State like this.

This is the year that they're going to be legit. They actually I was watching the end of that game. Was it Northern Iowa? North Iowa? They were driving at the end. It was Northern Iowa. Yeah. They were driving at the end of the game with a chance to win.

And then the quarterback through maybe the worst interception I've ever seen. So like this was, this was one that I thought it was going to be like a 40, 50 point drubbing. But Iowa State has these first games. Last year they lost to Louisiana Lafayette in the first game and wound up having the maybe the best season in school history. So I don't know that that necessarily means anything. Although when Big Cat came on my show on Thursday, we, I said, I think I was going to crush some dreams these first two weeks.

They certainly crushed Indiana. And I got a feeling Iowa is going into Ames and beating Iowa State that I just, and that's not a knock on Iowa State. I just think Iowa is going to be really good. But Iowa State is a, is a very kind of classic slow starter. So the fact that they won that game, I almost look at as progress because that is a game they would have lost over the last three, four years as good as Matt Campbell is for whatever reason they feel like a slow starting team.

And so they want it. Now they go into this game against Iowa. Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe they house Iowa. And then then if you look at the beginning of their big 12 schedule, they can, they can run with this for a while. So this is a big game for them. If they can win this, they're in really good shape.

Yeah. And I mean, that's why Brock Nelson, Iowa State's quarterback, they call him Brock Tober because he's like the best quarterback of all time in Brock Tober, Brock Purdy, Brock Purdy. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's incredible.

He's a great improv guy and just it's never, the plays seems like it's never over with him. And that's what I love. And I, I'm excited to see him against Iowa's defense because I think that, that does give them a chance against a team that, I mean, Iowa looks, has been good since the end of last season. Like they, they lost two games at the beginning of last year and then just went on a run. Nobody really noticed because they had lost the first two.

And so nobody was thinking about him and the big 10 season was so messed up anyway. It might just be that they are really good. Yeah. So the, the, sticking in the big 12, um, I was very focused on this game because randomly, I think it was maybe two Wednesday or Thursday, some random person tweeted me and they said that if Tulane beats Oklahoma, you have to mud wrestle me in central park. And I said, deal. So I was like, it was out of nowhere.

I just didn't deal. It's like 31 points spread. Is that, was that Tulane and Willie Fritz, who's a good coach, like, you know, looking good or was it Oklahoma? Uh-oh. This was supposed to be the year that the defense, you know, started to get better and they did not look good. I think that was some of column A and a lot more of column B.

I think Willie Fritz is a very good coach and, uh, Pratt, uh, Tulane's quarterback looked really good. I was impressed with him, but Oklahoma did not look like they looked at the end of last season. At the end of last season, Oklahoma was just shredding teams and the defensive line was really good and, and they were, they were disruptive. The way they played D line is they roll a whole bunch of guys in. They're always fresh.

They're almost always getting after the quarterback. They, they don't have, they've never been able to really recruit the just ready made 305 pound guy that Alabama has in Ohio state and Clemson have. So they've kind of had to work within what they have. And so they'll get these guys that are 260. They'll put 20 pounds on them and they'll move them all around and they're really good athletes and Alex French has done a good job with that defense because he took it from being completely pathetic the year before he got there to at the end of last year, they

were one of the better defenses in the country. So I don't know if it's a case of they just got caught up in the talk. Everybody saying, well, this is the best Oklahoma defense in years. This is, this is the, the Oklahoma team that can finally really contend for the national title. I'm not sure. I suspect that's what happened. I suspect that they are better than what we saw on Saturday.

I'm not ready to just go off the cliff and say, well, we overrated them. They're, they're, they're going to be just average. And in, to credit to Oklahoma, the Tulane uniforms, those are maybe my favorite uniforms in college football, the ones they wear are so good. Those powder blue with the green and the way, like incredible uniforms. So Troy Dan and their athletic director told me that when he got the job, he found a bunch of old logos in a closet, basically, and they had these, the angry wave was one of them. And they have a whole bunch more.

They have a, there's a company called home field that makes those t-shirts and they put them all on t-shirts and it's, it's unbelievable, but, but yeah, it's like, who puts this stuff in a closet and just forgets about it? Cause their uniforms suck before this. Yeah. And now they're amazing. Yeah. They are, when I saw them coming out in that, I, like I said, I was watching that game closely

because I was like, I might have to mud wrestle a stranger in central part. That's one of those uniforms where it, I think there was probably like a 20 year period of time when that didn't look cool. And then it started to be cool again. You just have to forget about your retro logos for a while. I think that's probably the perfect step. You just, you lock everything in a closet for a while until it's naturally found by like the next generation.

Then it's cool again. Yeah. That is the way to do it. But, but you have, you just have mistakes that happen, like Pittsburgh trying to copy Notre Dame's colors. Why would you ever do that? Yeah. Why, why would you ever get away from, from that yellow and the script?

Blue. Those are the best. Pittsburgh might have the best colors. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. BYU going navy. Yeah.

No, BYU needs to be royal blue. The royal blue is beautiful. I agree. No, don't change those things. Yeah. No, there, there are, like, uh, I think this is why I'll say they have a black uniform. I remember they wore it one time. They do.

It was so bad. It was like, what are you doing? They roll those out usually about once a year. Yeah. The thing about the, the thing about the scarlet and gray and, and you know, with the silver in the helmet, those, those colors don't look bad together ever. So it's hard to have an ugly uniform like Georgia. Their colors are never going to look bad together.

So even when, when they wear those, the black jerseys, which are terrible luck for them, they should never ever wear them, but they still look good. It's, it's, it's when you get in the, like my alma mater, the colors are orange and blue. Like you got to be pretty careful how you distribute those colors or it's not going to look right. Oh, I actually, all right. So thank you. Cause that was actually my last question that I had, um, Dan Mullen, what a piece of shit.

He was going for a touchdown at the end when he was, when I had, uh, uh, FAU plus 23 and a half. What was it? I've never seen anything like that. Florida was, um, listen, 21 quarterback controversy, baby. Got to figure it out. Florida was, they're playing FAU, there's a minute left. I was watching, I was probably one of the only people watching the game at that point.

They took, and I'm not, I'm not exaggerating. They took five deep shots, five shots where they just had sent everyone and just launched the ball. I was screaming at my TV. I have an idea. Okay. I don't, I have no idea if this is true or not. This is, I have no inside information on, on this other than I know what happened.

So there is a gentleman on Willie Taggart staff at Florida Atlantic who used to be a high school coach in Seattle. And when he was a high school coach in Seattle, he had a very good player, uh, who actually wound up going to Washington though Washington has nothing to do with this. But this coach, when coaches would come up to see to, to talk to, to the coach and talk to the teachers, they have what they call contact periods in the NCAA. And there are times when the coaches can be on a school's campus, but they're not actually allowed to talk to the player himself.

They can talk to everybody around it. This was one of those times. And so Dan Mullen, Jimbo Fisher, Todd Light, who's an assistant Notre Dame at the time, all of these guys got in trouble with the NCAA because this coach happened to walk them by a camera and then suddenly somebody turned him in and said, Hey, these coaches were, we're talking to this player. And so Dan Mullen got an NCAA penalty based on this and that guy's on Willie Taggart staff at Florida Atlantic.

I love that. So I have no inside information, but if I had to guess, that would be one guess. And my other guess would just be this, Alabama comes to the swamp in two weeks. They play USF on, on Saturday, they're going to win that game, but they got to figure out because if you watched any of the Florida Atlantic Florida game, Emory Jones looked okay, but not great. This is the guy who's been waiting on that starting job. They have another guy named Anthony Richardson.

He's like Gainesville, Brett Eastside High School. He's massive. He looks like Cam Newton and he runs like Cam Newton. And so they, they're trying to figure out, okay, who's our guy? And they're going to have to get that figured out before Alabama shows up. They have to figure out which of those two gives them the best chance to beat Alabama. And I'm wondering, because Anthony Richardson was so good when he got into the Florida Atlantic game, I wonder if they were, they were trying to figure out, all right, how well can he throw?

Cause we got to, we need to know this and decide before Alabama week starts. I like your first, I like the first, I like my first one too. Yeah, because that's, it's always, always pick the petty one, always pick the petty one. That's the best part about college football, why it's such a hilarious and awesome sport to bet on too. Because we were like, we were talking about it before how Scott Frost, like I had Nebraska PFT at Fordham.

I was like, I think Scott Frost is going to cover the spread because he's got to win some money for his boosters. Like eventually you have to cover a spread for your boosters. Oh, and that definitely enters coaches. Yes, for sure. Yes. Like they absolutely think like, all right, I know, cause what do, what do, what do all these guys who are rich beyond belief, who can't own a sports team instead, they're boosters.

What do they do every Saturday? They bet on their team. They bet on their team. Of course. A lot of money. And so they probably, emotional betting is the worst kind of betting. Yes. And they're sitting there like Scott Frost better cover this 40 and a half point spread

against Fordham. It's the, it's the craziest sport for that reason. Those dynamics. I, I will tell you, big cat, and I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or worse. I'm pretty sure Paul Christ is never once considered a star. No, never, ever. It doesn't know what the spread is.

Yeah. You know, you listen, Lane Kiffin's almost admitted it before. Oh, I know. Oh, yeah. Like there are certain coaches that are like, yeah, I'm going to win my boosters some month. We actually just talked to Dion Sanders a second ago and we were trying to explain what the point spread was.

And he clearly doesn't even understand it to this day. He's like, what is plus eight and a half mean? I don't get any of that. I think he's like, I, I made millions actually playing football, not betting on this ball. There's an eyeball test. If you just show me a coach, I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty whether or not he knows what the spread is. And if the, if the seat gets hotter, then the spread starts to matter.

It's directly correlating to like how, how well his pants fit. Yeah. If his pants fit real nice, that guy knows if it's just, he looks like he just like wandered out of a big and tall store in the rain. It's like, okay, that guy's a football. So I don't know. Cliff Kingsbury, despite looking like a supermodel, does not strike me as someone who has ever known the spread.

And I say this because Cliff Kingsbury is the person who brought flat front pants into the world of college coaching. Yeah. I remember he got the job and I asked him, you're not wearing pleats. Are you? He's like, oh, hell no. And, and after he brought the flat fronts in, everybody else switched. I think he knows the overunder.

That's what he cares about. He's just like points. How a score. I don't care who scores. Let's just get some on the board. Score, score, score. Oh man. Well, college football is back.

Andy, thank you so much. It's so good to have like, it really was watching an entire slate of college football and having fans in the stands. It kind of like hit home how, how shitty last year was. Oh dude, when Virginia Tech and UNC started on Thursday night, jump around with the Friday night. Yeah. The inner Sandman and Blacksburg.

And then thank, thank you Fox for showing us the entire jumper. The one part of jump around that, and big cat, you can, you can attest this that I think is, is you can only experience in person is you can hear the stadium creaking as it, as they jump. Do you know what, I mean, that's a lot of lining coogles just jumping. Do you know that when I was spotted cow, when I was a freshman or sophomore, they actually tried to ban it because journalists like you complained that the press box was swaying so much.

I went to a, I went to a game that they didn't play jump around and everyone like booed and mother fucked the entire second half and then fourth quarter. And then they finally were like, this is stupid. Why are we, why are we taking this away? So it did. There was a game. I have to go look it up. I think it was probably against like UNLV in September of 2003.

They did not play jump around. The stadium hadn't fallen down. It's going to be fine. Yeah. But you got that. You got people eating mayonnaise at the, at the Georgia, Charlotte, Georgia. Not just eaters. Just like.

Yes. Baiting mayonnaise. Yeah. mayonnaise bongs. Shout out to that guy. Hey, man, mayonnaise sponsored me last week on my podcast. So I can't say, I've bombarded up their brand of mayonnaise on the show last year and they still gave me money.

So I, I have not won one, one bad word to say about the big mail boy. I actually think that mayonnaise recently has gotten a bad rap in the media. It's bullshit. Because they, it's become cool for people to be like, ew, mayonnaise. That stuff is like, uh, cow jizz. I'll never put that on my sandwich. Mayonnaise is objectively delicious. Don't overdo it.

Don't eat like gobs of it. Oh no. I'm here to be a mayo stand. It's awful. It tastes like the spare foods. No, no, no. It's delicious. No, Andy.

The two things that baffle me online is like, where did the incredible, effusive praise of avocados come from and where did the bashing of mayo come from? Like the avocado thing. Sure. Guac is great. Guac is great. I'll throw it. I'll throw an avocado on my sandwich too, but that's, I don't feel like it's, it's the

greatest fruit in the history of the world. Mayo I have always hated. Like it goes back to like daycare. They give you the ham sandwich. But Mayo makes, I am willing to admit that Mayo makes some wonderful things. Pimento cheese is amazing. Doesn't happen without Mayo. I had this chocolate cake once in Mississippi and the lady goes, you know what the secret

of your greeting is? And I was like, what? And I figured it was going to be like possum something. No. Mayo. It's Mayo. It makes the most moist chocolate cake you've ever had in your life. Mayonnaise cake.

You know why it does that? It's because like the ingredients in mayonnaise go into cakes anyways. You know, like egg and oil mixed together. It sounds a lot grosser. But no, you're wrong. I feel like if you can eat a turkey sandwich without putting any mayonnaise on it, you're a better man than I am. Mayonnaise.

I'm a better man than UPFT. Well, I'm sorry you're missing out on the best lubricant ever for a sense. You know what it is also avocados, they've got a great marketing department everywhere you go. If you order an avocado in addition to something like that's going to cost you extra. Is that okay? And it makes it puts the avocado on a pedestal. I like the other thing is it's just too much ever picked up.

Yeah. Whoever picked up the Brussels sprouts account like 10 years ago, that's who Mayo needs to hire. Yeah. Brussels sprouts with a butt of every vegetable related joke for 50 years. And then all of a sudden somebody decides to cook them with a little bit of bacon. And it's like, Oh my God. Yeah.

These are the best things ever. You put butter on anything and it tastes delicious. By the way, Jake, Jake is our crack stats department. It was September 6th, 2003, Akron, at Wisconsin, no jump around. So there's a trivia question for everyone out there. See, we think that we're there for that game, so I'm saying I was there. I remember being like, what the fuck? That was probably like your first college game.

Yeah. You didn't even get a jump around. First or second. Yeah. Yeah. Jake is the type of big J who would complain about it. He would write. He would write the 800.

He would call them down the rail of the newspaper like these hooligans listening to this Irish band. Who's Everlast? Everlast is a brand-of-fucking-gloss. Everybody have fun. That's what football is about. Facts. Facts.

Come on. Those are all facts. But Jake, the second it starts shaking the press box and affecting your pen name. Call the police. Yeah. That's tough. Well, listen, I love Jake. Jake was in the building during one of the most important moments of my career.

He was at the Tampa sub-regional in the NCAA tournament in 2008. Four double-digit seeds, one in one day. And I just, you know, it was like column writer buffet. I ended up writing five stories and it was the easiest, single easiest and best day I ever had in my life. I love it. Didn't they screw up your deadline? All those upsets?

You probably didn't have to. It doesn't matter. The game was ready to go. You never get to see that, though. It was amazing. That was one of those like I'm eating breakfast the next morning like, did I really see that? But that was my first year at Sports Illustrated. And to that point, they'd been like, ah, you're the guy we hired to cover football recruiting.

We're not going to let you do a whole lot. And then after that day, they were like, now you can do whatever you want. And so it changed the arc of my career. So thank you to Fran McCaffrey and Sienna. And I don't even know who's coaching the San Diego Toreros that day. But thank you. Thank you for beating. You come.

They beat Jim Calhoun. Yeah, Jim Calhoun. Yeah. They thought it was just dead. They thought it was something about this new guy Andy. This guy. Yeah. Whatever it is.

He's got magic. Ty Rogers, Western Kentucky buzzer beater right in front of my face. That was the first game. And I was like, oh, I saw a buzzer beater in the NCAA tournament. Now I can die happy. Yep. And then it just kept going. So I have one last, last question, because we've talked about all the food that you mistakenly

hate. What's one thing that you're looking forward to trying this year for the first time? Or give it, give us like the best thing that you've eaten in your last year of traveling around. Okay. So the last year didn't happen. Because I live for going to eat things. I'm going on a trip here the next few days, weeks.

I'm going to get back to the turkey leg hut in Houston. I've only been there once, but I've never eaten something and had like two or three bites and then realized I'm actually physically drooling. Like there is drool running down my chin. And that is the shrimp Alfredo stuff turkey leg at the turkey leg hut. So it's dirty rice, shrimp and Alfredo sauce shoved into like a smoked turkey leg. Oh my God. One of the greatest things I've ever eaten in my life and I am probably going to have

one this weekend. I love that. I love how people in Texas are just like, you know what? One thing we haven't tried stuffing is a leg. So we'll just like, we'll just cram it into anything. Yeah. Let's put rice and shrimp in a turkey leg. I love it.

I love it. All right. Well, thank you, Andy. We really appreciate it. Everyone go check out Andy's podcast. Just find him on the athletic. He covers college football best, best of the country. I'll say it right now.

Yeah, that's just because Tom Fornelli gave us Illinois as his lock of the week on Friday. So and Tom Fornelli said Iowa State is Wisconsin and I was I was literally yelling at my radio. So there it is. No, no, Tom. Yeah. Andy won Tommy to Tom too. I just called him Tommy Tom too. Thank you, Andy.

Thanks guys. Andy was brought to you by our good good friends over at zip recruiter. We love zip recruiter. If you're looking for a job right now, it can be challenging, it can be stressful, can take a lot of time to fill out all those applications. Maybe you might not be hearing back from people. So you don't even know if they got your application. You can feel lost in the shuffle of applicants and searching for a job can feel like a full

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Sign up for free ziprecruiter.com slash easy. Experience the better way to find a job. Once again, go to ziprecruiter.com slash easy right now. Sign up absolutely free. Put zip recruiter to work for you. All right. Let's get to Mount Rushmore. Actually, before we get to Mount Rushmore though, a quick word, kind of serious.

I just want to say something out there. There's been a couple news stories recently about drugs being laced with fentanyl. I think everyone saw probably the passing of Michael K. Williams. I don't know if that's officially what it was. No, I don't think that there's anything that ties him to it. Okay. They're like a bunch of people. Comedians in LA.

Again, this is a little serious but weird for us to say, but I think we should say it because we do make jokes about drugs and we're not going to sit here and tell you what you should and shouldn't do, but we will tell you be safe and get your drugs tested if you are going to do drugs. Again, we're not going to sit here and be like, don't do drugs. Because that would be hypocritical, but be safe. Get the stuff tested. Just really be safe.

Bifentanyl testing kits and then tested a couple times because all it takes is a very small amount. There have been reports in the news where it's like, oh, you can't stand in a room with it because it'll knock you out. That's not necessarily the case, but all it does take is just one bad little bump, one small amount of drugs. If you're using drugs, get them tested. Don't want to see anybody pass away.

Don't want to see anyone end up in the hospital. Just get the strips. Just get them tested and be safe. Yeah, be safe because it's one of those things that's very, very scary and we want people to just be safe and use your head out there and try to make the right decisions. Again, we're not going to sit here and look down on anyone for what they do in their free time. Just be safe about it.

Also, it might be worthwhile to look into someone in your local area that can supply you with Narcan, which just reverses the effect of any sort of overdose almost instantly. You just keep it on you if you can. If you can get your hands on some, it's just a good thing to have. Might save somebody that you care about his life. You might never use it, but you'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Correct.

All right. Just want to get that out there. All right. Let's do the Mount Rushmore. By the way, Djokovic right now, hitting balls into the stands to the fans. What a guy. I think he's probably everybody does that. Jake.

This is the first time I've ever seen anyone do this. He's probably spotted a ball girl in the audience that he's trying to kill right now. No. PFT. He's being an incredible sport. I'm going to. Okay. Look, he just hit a little girl.

He just hit a little girl on the head with a ball. Hey, you want to explain this? Yes. So this was a DM that we got on Friday. I'm going to try and pull it up, but the I premise is basically the Mount Rushmore of referee calls. I think the original DM was like penalty calls, but we decided this should be more open ended because there's certain calls that aren't technically penalties, but it's things that

referees do. So basically anything, any game you watch, any sport, if a referee is doing something, making a motion, making a call, that qualifies for this Mount Rushmore. All right. Numbers. Eight. Seventeen. Twenty-four.

Sixty-nine. Billy's going to win. After PFT said all that stuff. Well, Billy is like, he's grown. He's grown. He's baby grown. You're like humans in Japan. Seventy-six.

You share most of your DNA with each other. We're going to go first, then Hank, then PFT, then Big Cat. All right. Trust me. Trust me on this one. Oh. This has been a disaster. It has been a disaster.

We are never on the same page with any picks. No, trust me. Trust me. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What you're about to say is not going to be picks, Billy. She'll say it. Say it.

Say it. Push it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Okay. Ref makes a call. Give him the business.

Are the one very specific? Give him the business. Give him the business. I mean, I think I might quit the team. It's a great call. It was a cool moment. Yeah, it was a cool moment. It's such several times.

Okay. Give him the business. It was like some rough back in the eighties or late seventies, threw a penalty and it was like a personal foul and it was like personal foul number seventy-eight. He got there and gave him the business and that was his explanation. It happened one time and then somebody repeated it a couple years ago. But yeah, it's a great call. Good pick, Billy.

Billy, it is not one-one. It is not anywhere. I was sure someone else would take it. Very nice what PFT just did. I don't even... You didn't know that? No, no, no. I knew it.

I knew everything you said. I'm just saying to like, to do that for Billy was a big move. It's not... Because like that was... It's not a good pick. A wild pick. It would have been... That's a perfect fourth round pick.

Like toss it. I mean, I'm a little nervous now because I have one-one, so I'm kind of second-guessing this one. You do. But... Billy just picked a kicker in the first round. Trust him on this one, though. Trust him.

Okay. That guy's safety is a good one. It's the best because when the referee makes the call, then all the players around them, they just start doing it. Like it's a great moment in sports. It doesn't happen that often. Seeing all the linemen do the safety over their head, it's kind of like that Egyptian dance.

It's fun. Yup. Okay. Just a fun moment. Yeah. I mean, that's a... And it's rare. So when you see it, you're like, oh, shit.

It's a great pick. Number one-one for me. This is what I had as my one-one. Being a home plate umpire ejects a manager and takes the face mask off and uses that as like a big... That is the old heave-ho. That's a good one. Definitely.

All right. I will go with and one in basketball, nothing better than a fucking and one. And then I will do similar motion, actually, a punch out at the plate. When they do the point and then the fucking out, that's electric. And it's always... I mean, it's always kind of a bang-bang play because it's at the plate. I like that too. My second pick, I'm going to go with charge.

Okay. When you make the charge and then you point emphatically in the opposite direction, change the tide. I can't believe you didn't pick and one, Hank. You live and die by and one. I live and die by saying it. I like to hear players say it. Yeah.

I don't... But the bucket goes in and then a... Yeah. I like to say it. I just like to say it. Okay. I don't do the motion. I was like, come on.

He says it all the time. I won. Yeah. All right. Whoa. It's tough. Okay. I'm going to go with block.

Ooh. Okay. Okay. It looks like... It's basically this... Yeah. You know, a block. It's...

Yeah. It's like a basketball. A block. Yeah. It's almost like a classic... It's a half-suck it. Mm-hmm. Was it Jerry Crawford?

Was he doing a charger block when he skipped across? It was block. It's a legendary video clip. Yeah. It's just like a hip thrust. Blocker charge. You know, some people have made entire careers on just asking the question if this was a blocker charge.

So it's clearly a big, big call in sports. Mm-hmm. Yep. All right. Jake? All right. I will be taking over the rest of this Mount Rush. Oh, wow.

Too late for that. Billy's been relieved of his duties. Billy is not happy. Yeah. Trust him, though. I'm going to go with called strike three. Okay. I love doing that.

Yep. Particularly, there's no first first down. So the first down mark. Okay. Yep. Yep. First down's a good one. Yeah.

It's just a good classic, you know, feels good. All right. And also it's good when it's like they bring you out to measure and they give you the first down. And the flash card. Yeah. I think that was territory before. Yes.

Yes. Similar to safety, this one is great just because of the player's reaction that happens when it happens, but a red card. Yep. Red card. Yeah. Good one I had on my list. Yep.

But the instant reaction to it is great. A straight red. Yeah. Well, I actually think that the yellow to the red is even better. I don't. I like the straight red because first thing. Yeah. If you get two yellows, you get a red.

So they take out the yellow, give you the yellow, and then they take out the red, give you the red. For a second, when a rough takes out a straight red card, everyone takes a minute to process it. Like, did he accidentally grab the wrong card? Right. I thought that was going to be yellow. Right.

All right. PFT, your next pick. Okay. I'm going to go with touchback. I like a touchback and a very specific head. No, a very specific way. When it's the touchback after I don't even know what that signal is. It's this, when the offensive player fumbles the ball through the end zone and you are

expecting it to be like a touchdown symbol or a safety and the referee just does the touchback thing completely changing the momentum of the game. Got it. Okay. All right. There's some good ones to the left. All right. I'm going to dip.

I'm going to dip into hockey. How? Yeah. Because this one is electric. Didn't even think about that. The good goal after a review when they point to center ice, fucking awesome, awesome feeling. And then I will go with my last one. Oh, it's not called a lot, but I love, actually, no.

There's a lot of good ones. Fuck. I'll go with intentional foul in basketball. The X that always gets me going. Okay. Dropping up the X and you can do it. Anything you can, most fans know feels good to mimic in the crowd. All right.

Flagrant foul. Sorry. Flagrant foul. When they boom. Yeah. I like that one. Yeah. Mine is similar.

It's a little bit different. Teeing somebody up, hitting them with the hard tee where it bounces off. Yeah. That's great. That's the thing that goes into it. And you feel like the severity of the call with the motion that goes along with it. I have no idea why I picked touch back. That was a stupid fucking pick.

So I was trying to be positive. No. No, it was. You shouldn't have been dumbest pick ever. I fucked it up. No. You made no sense. I literally didn't even know what the call was.

I didn't even have it on my list. I don't know why I said it. I literally don't. I have seven other fucking things. I'm really trying to be shut the fuck up. I'm trying to be positive for you because I know. More seasons not your strong suit. No it is. I got up to a hot fucking start this year Yeah, but it's and then I tell it off all season massive never been but that was

My silence said a lot there. I I was trying. I don't know why I said it was so bad That might have been worse than Billy no, it's not worse than I think it might be It's No one does I don't know why I said it yeah, it's not I didn't even thought of touch back until like two seconds before We all look at you. What are you talking about? But yeah touch back? Okay, thank My last pick I will do it's similar to yours, but it's different. It's different umpire Okay, it's the first or third base umpire punch out

So when they check they check strike three like this one got it Everyone all the attention Yep, that's good pick good pick Mm-hmm Billy approves of this last pick for what it's worth. Okay, touchdown. Good job. Okay way to go Yeah, yeah, I want to see you. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Don't PFT it. No, I didn't know we're thinking. I underthought it I think you overthought it. No, I just it just came out It's like I have Tourette's for shitty picks in Mount Rushmore season. Oh man All right, so some that were missed there's a lot that were missed home run home run

Yeah That's a good one clipping is my is one because any time a ref has to get low On themselves. It is very funny. What's the one when they go like this? That's out of bounds That was good. And also the the other part of it is a catch a catch on the sidelines is a great one I like the un-catchable ball. Yeah over the head is good I like in soccer when the referee points at a player that just took a dive and tells them to stand up Yep, like ultimately bitching them be like no no stand up penalty kicks another one similar to the good goal in hockey Where they just point to a point put a spot on the field

You know what I like in soccer is when the referee makes the symbol of a television with his fingers because it reminds me Yep Change of possession like after a turnover. Yes, like after you yes review. That's good back out Uh, I I think the cutest one is double dribble which we never see but it's just such a fucking cute Like to see the ref do that Rico box goes back. Yeah, I love I love the double dribble It's so fucking cute any time a ref gets hit in play or out of play by accident They kind of like laugh about it for a second. Yeah, they're just it's not really a call Well, it's just and then they like pat the player to be like it's okay. It's not really like knocked up. Yeah

Yeah, when the referee gets wheeled off the field is that we're saying like with a devastating injury That time that that ump died from a heart attack Jesus I mean you're doing like what I'm talking about like no, oh, you're talking about like acl joe west neck No, I'm talking. What are you? What are these like the ref the refs like over the like someone's running over the middle The time the ref got spits on by Roberto almar John hirsbeck. Yeah, Carl Everett. Oh, no, that's a catcher. What are we talking about?

Who is it? Who's the the offensive tackle that got blinded by the referee's flag? Oh, uh, Orlando Gary. Yeah Uh, who he was on the Browns Just got drilled right in the eye Browns Orlando if I got Orlando Gary, I'm gonna have you guys ever Orlando Brown. So yeah halfway I think I didn't know that's not him. No, no, that's not right No, Orlando Brown's in the NFL right now

I want to say was Orlando Gary Uh, I also had one in baseball that you don't see a lot, but it's awesome when it does occur When the umpire tells players at certain bases to go back to certain bases And he gives like one point there and that's where you need to like on a ball. Oh, this Orlando Brown. Yeah Yeah, yeah, all right. Well, he points at them. You're on third base go back to second and instructs them around the diamond I like that. I also like when uh after a goal When they zoom in on the soccer linesman whose flag is in the air So like the team is celebrating and you think oh it might be a goal for a second

But then the camera cuts to a shot of just the linesman right showing that there's a problem with the goal. Yes. I like that. Um Let's see travel a legal no one picked travel. Yeah travels the classic They don't call it. So we never see it. True. Wait, what about refs getting into like a pile Trying to find them. I don't think you understand this. No, there's like there's a fumble. They're trying to peel guys off Okay, that's not The dog pie it was calls. I thought it was refs do those calls refs calls refs calls and stuff They do what about when all the refs climb on each other? Yeah, what about yeah No, it's so funny to see a

What about the when the refs hold out and then they have replacement refs and they let a hail mary count against the Packers I like it when the refs put put their heads up to the monitor to review something Yeah, oh, what about when the refs stand next to each other shoulder shoulder and spells that bra Yeah And my friend took that picture by the way. Well, what about when the refs sign a baseball? Is he mad that people don't credit him? Yeah, what about when a refs wear a white arm sleeve because Verbally abusing the refs is a big issue. What about when the umpires did like umpire awareness weaker? Yeah, umpire. Dude, it's still umpire aware this week. Jim west is going to actually die on that hill face mask

Face mask is a good one. Anything that makes a ref do something horse collar horse collar is a good one What is the horse collar rule? What's your favorite nickname for refs? blue uh stripes Yeah, zebra zebra. I like blue three blind mice blue is just baseball though, but they don't even wear blue I was at the rest of the game and I was like, come on blue and then I was like, wait, they're not Yeah, no blues only for baseball. Oh, I mean just sir You call them like the sir. Yeah one like nitty nitty gritty thing I learned while broadcasting in football There's only one referee the guy who makes the calls everyone else is the umpire officials officials

Yeah, no. Wow. So what about when the guy uh in the stands says hey get off your knees ref you're blowing the game That's a good one too. Yeah, it's a good pick right in tennis when the ball's out They just scream at the top of their lungs really they scream. Oh, oh Jesus christ. Sorry. That's a little home. Sorry. Yeah Billy give us some more picks billy. I kind of like drunk jake. I like drunk jake and I like billy whatever he's on right now because I Come on. You got one more and just end the show with one more one more really good billy Come on when when the ref

Yeah, so close. Keep going. Yeah So there's ref. Keep saying it. So it's one guy when the ref talks with the coach on a first name basis Oh, that's good. Yeah, I like that. Oh, I like that. My ass is in the jackpot. Yeah when they say that. Yeah, that's a good one Yes Sometimes when they're chatting like during a free throw and they don't think it was a foul the ref the ref will smack him in the butt Yeah, that's a good one. That was a foul. Oh when um charles barkley kisses the ref It all start break because they did a race backwards. Yeah, that's also another ref move When the ref does the three points in the three point contest that's fucking hilarious

Even just even just when they hold up the three I had that on my list, but A three and one is actually There's three. I know there's too much going on. It's it's confusing for me And I like how they have one during the dunk contest too. Yeah I also like I as much as I like to say in one I think it's better when it's a charge Instead of an in one you like to charge more than an one I love the in one because just the like holding it and then

But the moment they think it's an one and then it switches the momentum shifts Yes, yeah, I like the and one a buzzer beater is like an and one on steroids. Yeah when they count it to the table True. Um, all right. Good mount rushmore. No, it wasn't by some people. Some people did a great job Touchback hanky big cat. Great job. Jake. Good job did All right, I I the most unique pick people are gonna be like, whoa like whoa everyone else I don't want anyone to vote for this thing. I don't I don't want anyone to vote. I'm so well I don't think they are no, I don't want a cop choice. Shut the fuck up cop choice

You're the most cop person in the world. You didn't even say anything. You didn't even say anything when we were talking about doing drugs Billy most The most like plain. Yes. I know I know It's like half a metronome. They don't even show it doing a quarter of the let the band play next Fuck this type. It sucks. It's a stupid motion for stupid people to choose and it's dumb and I wish I hadn't said I don't know Why I said it maybe you're throwing it on purpose 86 99 wait wait eight 97 is where I'm picking now. Larry died with COVID. Oh, he did Yeah, for real. We don't know if it was because of COVID or because he wasn't vaccinated let that be a lesson

No, you know HIPAA. He didn't tell us 97 96. He went HIPAA mode. What are you doing? Jonathan Hernandez actually is still coaching. He actually could get hired by Yukon Is that yours? I'm back, baby. There it is. Was that your first time? There we go. No, no repeat winner. You're two time. Who's two time? Jake and Billy. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing how that fucking ball just turns your luck around. One day I did it two in a row Didn't count. The other one didn't count off the official. Brian Kelly. It did count my head

You say Brian Kelly? No, Brian Kelly might have killed somebody. Yeah, that's why we call him Brian Kelly. Yeah Jonathan Hernandez is still coaching. Oh, nice. Yeah, so he could for him. Yeah They should put him on a list Flying squirrels don't actually fly They glide. Oh, okay Shining away I'll be coming for your love, okay Shining away

I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone You don't change Need less to say I won't say anything Shining away

I'll be coming for your love, okay Shining away I'll be coming for your love, okay Shining away I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone

You don't change Need less to say I won't say anything Shining away I'll be coming for your love, okay Shining away I'll be coming for your love, okay Shining away

I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone I'll be gone