Pardon My Take - Dan Patrick, Playoff Pee Pee And The Clippers Are Frauds Plus MNF

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

The Clippers are officially dead. Playoff Pee-Pee showed up at the worst time and the Nuggets played a fantastic series (2:33 - 9:48). The Heat beat the Celtics in game 1 with an all time Bam block (9:48 - 12:51). MNF clean up and Big Ben is back (12:51 - 20:19). Will the Big Ten play? Hopes are high (20:19 - 27:36). Hot Seat Cool Throne including the US Open and CJ McCollum roasting people (27:36 - 40:51). Dan Patrick joins the show to talk about his show going to Peacock, gambling, hot takes, and the 3 on 3 PMT vs DP Show battle that needs to happen (40:51 - 83:05). Segments include Kickers Psychology couch, Trouble in Paradise Allen Robinson and the Bears and Guys on Chicks.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our friend Dan Patrick on the show. Great conversation with DP. He is now at the cock, the peacock, the streaming service. Peacockin. We talk everything, sports, hot takes, gambling. We're going to go up to Connecticut and play the Danettes, three on three. Billy, you are in that game. Yeah, so, which kind of are ace in the hole, concerning the fact that we're all kind of old now. Have you ever, do you play basketball? Yeah, I play basketball. Yeah, like a football player. That's what we said. No, I can shoot from the outside. Oh, okay. All right. Bonus. Yeah, better

than playoff, Pete. We'll get to it in a second. Playoff, Pete. Yeah, we got, we got hot seat, cool throne. We have guys on chicks. Great Wednesday show for you. It's all brought to you by our friends at the Cash App. Not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest. Go right now. Use the Cash App. The Cash App is the best. They're also giving away money free all the time on Twitch, Instagram, Twitter. You need to have a cash tag though. You can't get the free money unless you have a cash tag. It's fantasy football season. You've got to have, make sure that you pay your dues. Use the Cash App. It's going to be Christmas soon. Yeah. Why not? No, you're right. Yeah, like it will be. Yeah, sometimes soon. It's basically

Christmas next month. Right. It's going to, you're going to blink. Did you spill something, Hank? Oh, Hank really spilled something. Yeah, we've got six t-shirts. Oh no, it's all over his desk. He's got a drill in a fucking mess. Hank isn't a bad mood leading into tonight's show. I am too. Because the Celtics. Yeah. All right, look, all right. Of course, we download the Cash App, enter there for a code bar so you get $10 free, $10 to the ASPCA. Download the Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Store today. Okay, let's go. Babe, all on the sun. Oh no, we're going to rock down to electric avenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're going to rock down to electric avenue. It's part of my take presented by Bar

Steel Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now. Use code BARSTY to get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, September 16th. Hank has just made a mess of his desk. The board is completely ruined. Well, I tried to give Billy headphones so he could hear himself so he could maybe talk in the microphone in the process of taking the headphones. It's my fault. He knocked over a Red Bull. No, no, no, you knocked it over before you gave me that. There's so many electronics where you knocked over the Red Bull. It's insane. Was it sugar free at least? Yep. There we go. Well, then it doesn't even get it. All right. It's basically index. All right. All right. It's Wednesday. The Los Angeles Clippers

are dead, defunct, a clown show, playoff, Pee Pee is the worst ever. What are you spraying? Jake is spraying the Red Bull before you. Jake is the perfect person to have around for these type of things. He went into action. He got the he got the stuff to clean up. He's trying to get back on Hank's good side, though, because of the result of oh, yeah, tonight. So Hank has been lashing out at Jake. And fortunately for Jake, Billy just fucked up. So now Jake is thinking to himself like I got this made. People forget that we have a heat fan in this room. Jake Cake is a huge heat fan. I don't think there's another podcast in the world that has a diehard heat fan on it. So it's great that you're

here. You have to use team two. Yep. You have to mine. I'm a Jimmy Butler guy. A top eight player now in the NBA. I've moved. I've leveled them up. He is. He's solidly in the top 10. But yeah, we were just rooting for Jim. We respect JBud on this podcast and Jake was was very happy with the result. We need to make a mayor's bet on part of my take between Jake and Hank, the Celtics in the heat. It's a good one. I think it should be a cake related bet. I think that the loser should have to bake a cake of the winners choosing for the winner. And then they have to document the process, have to actually try bring into the office. That way we all it's really just so that we can eat cake. Yeah, I was thinking like a live stream. Someone has to eat the cake like a full

cake. I think you should bake a cake. Oh, you're baking a cake. And then you have to pass a test until you make a good cake. No, yeah, I think you have to try. You have to follow the recipe. We'll get a real up the cake on purpose. We'll get a real chef. Donnie will tweet it. I would tweet it. I'd go in Ramsey and have him rated. Yeah, is it the season rubbish in it? Yeah. Speaking of cake. Oh, what? Oh, okay. Okay. Thanks. All right. And now in that segment, you're right. The clippers are frauds. The clippers are the biggest frauds of all time. He stinks. He stinks. The fourth quarter, I don't think I've ever seen somebody be as bad at their job as well really the entire clippers offense was. Wait, okay. All right. So I don't want I don't want to do what we

usually do because obviously the story is the big story is the fraudulent clippers because all we tall we heard about was how great they were. I bought into it. I was like, well, how could you beat Kauai Leonard and Paul and Paul George and and Patrick Beverly like this is going to be insane. Kauai sucked too. Kauai was very bad. 6 for 22. Paul George is 4 for 16. But let's at least give some credit to our nuggets. We're a nuggets podcast. They were incredible. Yeah, they were they were awesome. They essentially forced the clippers to just quit. And that fourth quarter, like there's losing. And then there's the way the clippers lost, which was pathetic, disgusting, abhorrent. I don't even know if we have that word is appropriate in this case. Yes.

They quit. They looked terrible. They should feel terrible. Insulted my intelligence as a sports fan believing in them. They made me sick to my stomach. I have diarrhea now all because play off poo of you. Yeah, play off poo poo. Play off L. It's lay off P. It's crazy. I don't know. This is going to be a hot take. Oh, my computer's making noise. But I'm going to say it anyway. Wait, wait. Ask me for permission to go there. Can I go there? Can I permission to go there? Granted. I actually don't know how you bring play off P back next year. I like that. I don't. I don't know how you have what you just watched. Yeah. And be like, let's bring back the same core and hope that it's kind of the James Harden thing where it's like how many times you guys

see in the playoffs before you're like, all right, this guy just he's you know what I'm doing. Playoff P. You're you're not a second banana, dude. You're you're a third piece. I you're a third piece at best. I think that in this case, it was a little bit different because Jokic is like such a big physical dude that he was just biting him. That's just to moralize any any time somebody can just back you down and you can't do shit about it because I think he outweighs him by what 30 40 pounds. Yeah, I don't know what Jokic is. His weight fluctuates like yours. He can be like 260 on any day or 220. It's basically how much sodium did you have past midnight? Just doing the eyeball test on who by the way, he does look like the Serbian Bosa brother. I can't get that out of my

head. Yes, he does. He was just backing him down and eyeball test. I think he outweighs him by like 35 pounds. So it's tough. And when you keep getting back down like that and just dominate on the glass, then that affects you at the other end where you're like, shit, I must be I'm not very athletic. Am I he had 1622 and 13 and the 13 is what I noticed like he he's always making a great pass because they're running pick and roll up top and then he just makes a great pass for one of his, you know, teammates to get a wide open shot. I I'm not going to I'm not going to sit here and say that they're going to be a pushover. Oh, I will. I'll say it right now. Laker Dan's not going to say it. Come on, Dan. I think the nugs. I mean, I became a nugs guy. Davis disrespected

them. It's going to be a sweep day. It's a gentleman sweep. I'm calling a sweep or games to one. They're going to gentlemen sweep their way. I think I'll be through the entire playoff. Don't get me wrong. I think the Lakers like I think they're going to win the series. I just don't. I'm not going to say they're it's going to be a sweep or five games. Anthony Davis. Anthony Davis. There might be a moment. Shut them down. Dude, how did I mean not shut them down, but I think we're up three or the clippers are three one in this series. I think Davis might outweigh Jokic or at least they're close. No, so I think that Davis can deem up. No, I mean, of course he can. Anthony Davis is a great defender, but this is not. I don't know. We'll

see. It's going to be I think it's going to be a more fun. Everyone's just writing them off, but the clips suck. The clippers suck. Fuck the clippers. Yeah, I'm with you. Everyone hates the clippers. I'm with it. We're all out on the clippers. Are there even clippers fans? I want to hear Franky Munoz. Malcolm in the middle of the kid from. Yeah, he's like the guy that Billy Crystal and Frankie Munoz. Penny Marshall. RIP. That tells you everything that you need to know. But Jokic, I do. I do like watching him play except in her grave, except for the fact that I think he leads the league and leaving his jersey untucked. That's fine. Clean that up. I like Jokic. It looks like going into his first job in the 80 to 53. Oh, major weight advantage.

But Jokic lost all that weight. We're talking about him like their boxers. Oh, what about what about reach? I need to know how to accurately mispronounce his name. It's Jokic. Yeah. So it's I'm calling him Jokic Joker. Yes. Nikola Jokic. There you go. That was good. Why? All right. Other game. Hank. Bam. You got bammed. You got bammed. You got Emeril Legazi. That was an incredible, incredible block. I feel like because we went right to game seven, there wasn't enough credit to that block. I feel like a game seven though. Something that happened in game seven. Like game one. What even happened? Game seven. Game one, game one. The heat and the Celtics are going. Every single game could be like this, I think. These two teams are so evenly

matched. But that block was incredible. You have to admit that block was incredible. It was absolutely crazy. I mean, it's like the Mitch Trebisky screenshots where it's like the there's so many screenshots that seem like that was a master. No, I just I'm using it as an example. Like there's screenshots of Jason Dayton. It looks like there's no way that he doesn't. It was his left hand too. Yeah, there's no dominant hand that blocked it. Now we have what we have to do with a moment like that is figure out if it was the best block of all time and then be a history. Definitely better than the Chase Towns by LeBron. Those are just LeBron. Those are just LeBron being lazy and like waiting for his moment. This is actually an impressive block.

It really it's more the Celtics rub 14 in the fourth quarter and they just had like some of the worst possessions. They had three possessions with a minute left in regulation where they just had like isolation step back three James Harden possessions and then it was bad. Listen, I I love they should have won that game easily. I love the heat culture. Jay Crowder. I mean, what a role player that guy is. How would you ever let that guy go from your team? That's a guy that you want. I can't speak because everyone just tweeting me like how do you why the bulls trade Jimmy baller? I don't know. God damn it. This is great basketball, great basketball. I'm actually more excited for this Eastern Conference finals than I think I am for the entire NBA finals.

Again, if it's Lakers Celtics, I think the Lakers win four to one. If it's Lakers heat, I think they win four to two. This series is my personal finals because it's just personal finals because it's going to be fun to watch every like you said, they're still very, very even. Yes. And their neither team ever has like any any second where they look like they're taking a moment off. Yes. Yes. The by the way, so Hank, how are you feeling overall? You're like we're good. No, I mean, I feel like we should have won that game easily. We're going to fight back and win like three out of the next four. Yeah, that's for me to feel good. I don't feel good. Then you would, you would still not have won the series, but I feel good if you want three in a row,

but you'd feel better. I would feel good. Okay. I don't, I wouldn't, I will not feel good until that's the case. I got a question. What's up with Kemba Walker shot? It ain't good. No, I mean, he was good in the crunch. Like he was kind of, he stepped up when he needed to step up and Jason Tatum's a stud, but like what's up with Kemba Walker's? Oh, I loved also who was announced in the game today, Jake calling Marcus smart, three smart bombs and Doris Burke smart bombs. Yes. He called it a smart. I love it. Yeah. It's good description for three. How many children did that kill with that smart bomb? That landed on a Yimini wedding. All right. That's basketball. We had Monday night football. Big Ben is officially back. Yeah. He looks good. And

not only is he back in terms of like finding his rhythm as a passer, but he's back. I think he designed that sleeve that he wore. They're like custom made one. I think, I feel like Big Ben has an entire line of pharmaceutical devices that he just like invents in his garage at spare time. I've never seen anything like that, but he, he looked like Big Ben of old milking a couple times. He got knocked down. He probably sits in his doctor's office and takes the meetings when like the pretty little blonde blonde comes in and shows like all the new pharmaceutical things. Can I sit in your chair for the afternoon? Well, every athlete retires and they become pharmaceutical device salesman. Big Ben is going to become a purchaser. He's going to like work for

giant hospitals. Just has an entire, we need Marie Kondo to go over to his garage. She opens up the door and it's just full of like walking boots and different sleeves. What brings you joy, Ben? All of it. All of it does. I can't get rid of a single one of it. Everything. But yeah, he was, it was a masterclass in Ben. He was limping like two plays in. He had some great drives. He looked good. He even had a moment where his offensive lineman got hurt, which I think he's out for the year and we were giggling about the, the clip. We didn't want to retweet it because the offensive lineman actually did get hurt, but Ben went down and fell and basically acted like he was more hurt than the offensive lineman who had just torn his ACL. Yeah. Well, he saw the other guy was hurt and

Big Ben has sympathy pains for anyone who's ever had an injury. Islanders. Okay. Okay. It continues. What is that three to two now? Team a destiny. Yep. Barry Trots. Yep. That was a huge one for the Islanders. And then the late game. Vic Fangio is a turkey. Yeah. He is a straight up turkey. That's the only word I can use to describe because the clock management at the end was almost as big a story as future Hall of Famer Gaskowski missing those what four kicks, but the clock management was just his philosophy was I think he's going to miss another kick. And so I don't need any time on the clock for when he does that. Yes, which still makes no sense because if you had missed that kick, even inside, even if there was like 55 seconds a minute left, it doesn't

matter. It makes it literally makes no difference. You can still run the clock out if you get it. It was, I think this happens every year though with the second Monday night game. It just, it just devolves into absolute crap. Yeah. Like it was, there was a moment at one in the morning where I was after Gaskowski missed his third kick. What am I watching right now? Like Jerry Judy's dropping balls. Gustavsky's missing kicks. Melvin Gordon actually looked good, but like I just said to myself, why am I still up? Because of football? Yeah, because of football. Obviously. You know why we were all up watching is because we just went through like six months where we would have killed a drifter to be able to watch a meaningless Monday night football game. But

you know, you have those moments of clarity where you, where you have, where you like almost have a 360 view of your life and you're like, what are you doing? Yeah, I had that moment. I was like, this kicks ass football is on TV. So that game was, yeah, it was something. Mike Rabel, credit to him for bringing Gaskowski out there for the last kick. It reminded me of, you know, the ending of 10 cup. I know that the young guys haven't seen 10 cup yet. You haven't seen 10 cup? No, no, no, they, no, they haven't. They definitely haven't. I'm agreeing with you. But when Kevin Kossler kept hitting his three wood into the water over and over and over until he got it right, that's what Vrabel was doing with his kickers. He's like, we're going to keep going out there.

We're going to keep trying to kick. I don't care how many you miss. I'm going to keep kicking. He wouldn't kept Gaskowski on the field until like six, six o'clock in the morning, just after the game was over until he hit one. Yes, it's true. It's true. I, it was thrilling. It was thrilling to watch him get out there and try to make it. All right. So what else we have? Anything else? Any other cleanup? Well, I put this on Twitter because a lot of people were asking me about it last night, but I am still opting out of the NFL season. So stop asking. But stop asking. But if, if Taylor and if, uh, if, uh, Mike hit me up, if Raebs hit me up, they didn't already. And if, well, I talked to Raebs a little bit, but if Will Compton hit me up, they're, they're colleagues,

right? Shout out to Will Compton, by the way. He's actually the one that was the reason that Kossowski hit it. And he also gave him a hug. Yeah. Hugs not drugs. And he also had to play basically the whole game after Evans, uh, threw a punch in the first quarter. Yeah. So a big glow up for Will Compton. But if our colleagues need my help, I'm not going to leave my colleagues behind. Yeah. By the way, one last thing about Monday football, uh, how shitty was it of ESPN to put an unbelievable booth with Herbie and Fowler in game one and then be like, here's our new booth in game two. Hope you stay up for it. Yeah. Herbie and Fowler. I mean, that's Sergio dip. No, no, no, no, but they usually, the second game is usually the weird

boot. The second game is usually like Mike and Mike do is limited travel. Maria Taylor was already in New York for Fowler was doing just open. Do you not agree though? It fucked them. They basically gave an incredible boot that everyone loves. Universally loved Herbie and Fowler or consummate pros. Great chemistry. And then not even saying that greasy, Riddick and Levy did a bad job, but to go to them, it's a tough act to follow. Yeah. Herbie and Fowler, the big knock was like, I don't know if they're going to be able to transition to the NFL news flash. Like they know every single player on the field already because they called them when they were in college. And also the chemistry is the most important part. Right. They could narrate Hank

taking a shit and I would watch it on TV. I know this is crazy, but like, why can't they do both? Is that too crazy remotely? No, no, no, no, no, no. They do the Saturday night game. They have the best private plane ever. They're basically the developer plan. They should have they should have a crew literally carry their bodies so they can, you know, they hop on the plane like in Spider-Man. Carefully. He's a hero. Yeah. They give them Nyquil and they, they land in the, in the Monday night football city. They carry their bodies, lay them into bed, and then they wake up in that city and then they have all Sunday to recover and then they do Monday night football in like a freeze chamber during the week. Why not? Football prep

is by far the hardest. Sorry. Yeah. You already brought up too much inside, too much inside, but I like how our brains automatically go back to like the Mike and Mike game, which I think was 16 years ago, but it was so great because it was Mike and Mike, and then another Mike, they added Mike Dickens. It was three mikes. That was incredible. It's also the Sergio dip game. You never forget. It's the block 2017. The pun is blocked. Yes. It's a pun. The Berman block game. It's always a little Rex Ryan was one. I remember. It's always crazy. Yeah. And then so they, so we all remember this and then they just unveiled their new Monday night football crew after a great game with like the A squad. I think they'll be fine once they get to

rhythm, but yeah, falling, falling that the college game day crew is impossible. They're, they're the best. They're the best. And then your big 10 is back. Oh wait, I'll have it on my cool throne. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Actually, let's talk about right now. I think it is. I think it was, well, we need to separate the rumors from the facts because there were a lot of rumors out there, not a lot of facts. So to clean it up a rumor, the Nebraska president was caught on a hot mic saying that the season is coming back rumor fact. Sir Yacht is reporting that it's coming back. So for, well, actually first reported by Jep than do. Okay. No, not actually. He just said he wanted to credit him after Nebraska. Okay. So I think what happened and in Sir Yacht,

I trust he's been given, he's the only one who's given me hope, even though I'm pretty sure he's made up a lot of the things, but that's okay. I think Sir Yacht was started as a parody account just to try to get big cat interested. Yes. The fact that the big 10 is coming back. All right. So I think the Nebraska president, what, what, what has happened is I do think the big 10 is going to be back. I think they're going to announce it tomorrow. There's a, there's a mini power play inside the power play that Nebraska was feels like they are the team that spearheaded this member. Scott Frost said, we're going to leave the big 10. We're going to play our own season. So they feel like they are responsible for the big 10 coming

back. So essentially the quote unquote hot mic, that guy knew it was a hot mic, said it to basically get the credit that Nebraska deserves, which I, I will absolutely say they deserve it. And now the big 10 in a power play is being like, well, fuck you, we're not going to announce it tonight. Well, Kevin Warren, don't want you to make you look like you got it today. Cause he said, like they were going to announce that the big 10 is back tonight. So now they're like, all right, we'll announce it tomorrow. Just like you look back. Yeah, you were wrong. Right. Your report. Yes. And also Kevin Warren wants to save a little bit of grace in this because he's basically been the Roger Goodell of the big 10 where he says what everybody else tells him to say,

and then he gets shit on for everything that happens. So he's trying to save some face. It's not going to work. Everyone's still going to, like it's going to make him look even worse now because it's like, oh, you flip flopped on it. And then the pack 12, I don't think anybody really cares that strongly. Like there's, there's, oh, no, we got to get, we got to work on the pack. We do. We got to send sir. Yeah. I don't fucking, what I'm saying is there hasn't been a Nebraska of the pack 12 yet. I'm pretty, I'm pretty sure Oregon state has been trying to be the Nebraska. Just nobody has paid attention to him. Kedon Slovis did write a letter to Gavin Newsom. So that's at least getting things moving for the state of California. Hopefully. I do think

the state's literally on fire. Yeah. Well, maybe he'll forget about it. I played the A's game in the middle of a fire. Right. We do need, we just need to send Sir Yacht. Sir Yacht, why, what do you, is it, what even is his name? Well, Sir Yacht is named by like Troy. Sir Yacht is the least big 10 name of all time. That should be a pack 12 guy. Yeah. He should go up to Washington. He should be Sir Pontoon. Yes. If he's a big 10 guy. Yes. So yeah, I do think the big 10 is back. That's all I want. It seems like it's going to be October 17th, eight game season. That's fine. And I have, if I really want to get ahead of myself and now we're sitting here and it has not been official, but I did have a side conversation with some of my friends from my college friends and the

conversation did end up being if there's an eight game schedule and we don't have Ohio State on the schedule, this might be the best chance that Wisconsin ever has to go to college football playoff. That's a fact. That's how far back at night. That is a fact. Eight games. Anything can happen in eight games. Eight games. If, I mean, if we just play our division and then the crossover isn't like super hard, just got to win one in Indy, December 19th. That's it. That's got to win one in Indy. He's got to win, got to just be legends for 60 sec, 60 minutes and then go to the college football playoff and get the shit kicked out of us by Clemson. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm just so excited that football is actually going to be a main part of our lives for the next

four to five months. It feels great. It feels great. I was worried, big cat. I was worried as recently as mid August. Football wasn't going to work. Guess what? Football always plays. Football works. We're still a little worried. Yeah. We're still a little worried. Quick, this league update. Clippers guard Lou Williams after the game said, we play off P pretty much. We had championship expectations. We had the talent to do it. We didn't have the chemistry to do it. See a P. Hey, P had a team dinner up at was Magic City. Maybe you shouldn't assign a player who, you know, used to bang the coach's daughter. How long do you think till P's getting teabag by his dog happening right now?

I forgot about that. It's all I think about. Coming up short in the playoffs and taking, accidentally taking a picture with his pit bulls, balls resting directly on his arm. That's the playoff P. That's my playoff P. Some of the guys brought their families in. Paul George just brought his dog into the bubble, just dragging his huge nuts behind him, leaving a little trail. He's got playoff P in his house. You know, those like the kinky swingers, they have that, they have the actual swing, the fuck swing. He's got, he's got like a holder for his dog to elevate. So his dog's balls could just rest on him at all times. Playoff P. You're such a clown, dude. I kind of feel bad. I almost feel bad. I almost feel bad.

We're close to feeling bad. This could be a blessing in disguise. If he takes this really hard, he spends the next like five months doing nothing but just eating comfort food, mashed potatoes and meatloaf all the time. And he puts on 60 pounds flat pay off, fat playoff P. I'm totally on board with. I actually, I wonder, can you like give back your contract? Because if I were playoff P, I'm not even joking. And I don't know how much money his playoff P made. By the way, I hope we never ever call him by his real name again. We just keep saying playoff P for everything. So playoff P is has to have made a, he's all right. He's his contract right now is $139 million. Okay. So how much money has

he made though in his career? Because what I would do, and I'm not joking, I would give my money back. Do you have it? 217,812,725. He's made. Correct. Or he's going to make that a since 2010 with the pastures. Okay. So he's has over $200 million including throughout this contract. Okay. Wait. So, so that does, that does count what he still has left. What does he made though? Give me the number that he's made. What does he have in the bank? Earnings in 10 seasons is 144 million. All right. Perfect. 145. If I were him, I would be like, rip up my contract, throw it away. I don't want any of that money and then go sign like a $2 million a year contract with the Lakers and be the fourth banana behind Anthony Davis, LeBron and

Caruso. Yeah. I mean, why not? And no one will care. Why not? No one will think about you. All you have to do is just make one decent sized shot in the playoffs on that team. Yes. And then you're Mr. Clutch. Then you're the new Robert Orrie. Or go to the Warriors. Yeah. Imagine if he goes to the Warriors. Oh my God. I actually would probably ruin the Warriors. He takes the David West deal. Oh my God. Yeah. He should start ring chasing now. Yeah. You know, he's like 30 years old. Just like, all right, I'm done. I'm done trying to be playoff P. Oh man. I do actually kind of feel bad for him. I'll say something nice about playoff P. I actually like his shoes. Yeah. I like his shoes. I wear them sometimes. They could be a lot.

That's really the only thing that separates him from James Harden right now. Yeah. He has better shoes. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's the unfortunate part. Playoff P really should get, he should have gone to his press conference in a hardened jersey. Yeah. Yeah. Like remember this guy. Yeah. This guy stinks worse. This guy's a bigger disappointment than I am. This guy's a bum. I've just been a recent bum. All right. Let's do hot seat cool throne. Hot seat cool throne this week is brought to you by Bud Light on the cool throne. This football season are full backs. They're back in action, bringing grit to life on the field while we cheer on with a cold beer in hand. Just like these Titans of the trenches delivering cold unsuspecting blocks on defenders,

Bud Light delivers cold beer to your door, orders now, order yours now, sorry, at budlight.com slash delivery and get ready for the games. Budlight.com slash delivery. Hank. My hot seat is love. Oh no. Cardi B and her wet ass P are divorcing offset. Oh yeah. Oh no. Okay. Single. That is, that is some news Hank. That's some good news. You sound really sad PSD. I mean, I'm sad that love is on the hot seat, but rebounds are on the cool throne. It sounds like. Indeed. Cardi B hit me up. My other hot seat is Carol Baskin. Sorry, Billy. She was on Dancing with the Stars. She was a horrific dancer. Really playing fast and loose with the word stars on this one, aren't we? Yeah, it was something. She was an absolutely terrible dancer. And then her dead husband's

family took out an ad that ran right. So it was like her dance commercial break, her dead husband's family being like Carol Baskin murdered our son. Fuck yes. So that was probably I'm sure ABC and Dancing with the Stars like we're not happy. That's kind of how optically it played out. And that's all anyone was talking about was like the advertisement. Well, they took the money for it, right? I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. I think ABC played this. They played both sides like a fiddle. Yes, absolutely. Good for them. Absolutely. I love it when corporations. They middled that for sure. Good job, Disney. Carol Baskin is just she gives off. I will murder you vibes. Yeah, she does. She gives off will be fine. And then

one morning I'll make you some pancakes and there'll be a cyanide in like the guy Robert Durst like it's like I killed someone and I'm just kind of still going through life. But like I'm not really denying it. Like I'm just like I'm like I'm a killer. I the thing that I can't understand. I got away with it. I can't wrap my head around whether she's a genius for doing this, like hiding in plain sight or this is all going to blow up in her face because if she killed them, which I would mean yes, allegedly, allegedly. Now you can say whatever you want, allegedly, murder doing dancing with stars has to be the worst move. Yeah, makes a cold case hot as hell. I think you're underestimating the rush you must get if you

get away with murder. Right. I have to imagine that if you do that, like you kill somebody and for 20 years or however long it's been, you don't get caught. You probably feel like you can do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of your life. Yes. No, that's a good point. That's a good point. Okay, but she creeps out. Yes, big time. My cool throne is us. You guys, AWLs, PMT Twitch, we finally are set up in the studio. We're going to start getting back on a more consistent schedule. Check that out. Part of my take, Twitch. I'm getting good at golf. PFT is playing PGA. Let's go. Watch out. Shout out to NZXT for the PC hookup. I don't know why we didn't set this up in our studio like a year ago, but we're Gucci now. Blake Kepke is tearing it up.

Get it. That goes nicely into, well, that's my cool throne, so I'll save that for later, but my hot seat is Insomnia because Pepsi is making sleepy cola. Do you see that? They're making a cola for bedtime, so it's got lavender in there. I'm in it. Yeah, no more night terrors for big cat if you're drinking nighttime Pepsi. Yep. I don't know. I feel like if you drink something really cold at bedtime, it's too refreshing. It would keep you awake. Yeah. You got to warm it up. Is, yeah, like a bottle? Yeah. Yeah, put it in a baby bottle. It's just a nipple at the top of it. Can I speak freely for a second? So I moved a couple months ago and I have a dick microwave. How have you hung on to that for this long? I kind of didn't

really connect because it's a little bit below the dick, but you're taller than Skip Bayless. Right, but it's more like kneecap. It's a belly. It's down. My apartment is not, I noticed it right away. The one good benefit of having everything built lower is that it's great for pissing in the sink because it's like a trough for me. But I mean, having a microwave at that level is also great if you have a toddler that's walking around that's learning to press buttons. No, you're right. So the problem is I put his bottle in the microwave to warm up his milk and he fucking puts his head like right next to the microwave every time. And I'm pretty sure either I'm going to have a genius or his brain's going to be fried.

He's going to be a genius. Aren't you on the record saying that like how much money you would put a baby in the microwave for? Yeah, oh yeah. What was your answer? I think it was $30,000? Yeah, just to put it in. For like two seconds. Oh wait, and actually turn it on. This now was, this was like nine years ago. Okay, that's a different story. Yeah, I'll do it for free. I had significantly less money then. So yeah, I would have. I now would not. Although he's a toddler now, so he wouldn't fit in the microwave anymore. But when he was a baby, he did, he would have fit. I mean, I just can't believe that you

haven't made content out of the dick microwave yet. We got to get you a Mitchell Trabisky Jersey that you can put in there. I know it didn't dawn on me because it's smaller, it's shorter than my dick. Like if it was truly dick level, I would have been right away like, hey guys, check this out. It's little too far down. But yeah, I did. That's a really bad level for a microwave. Yeah, it is. No, it sucks. Yeah. What are you ever going to put in there? Baby's bottles and maybe my baby. If I keep losing. I would just look down at it. Even if I had like a thing of popcorn in my hands, I would look down and be like, no, that's too far. Yeah. I can't be bothered to do that. Well, it's, my old department, I had to,

there was no, there's not enough counter space for a microwave. So we had to put it in like underneath and then pull it out every time. So this is an upgrade. That really will make you not eat popcorn. Yes. You have to lift up a microwave and like plug it in. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Plug in. My cool throne is the course. The course is back. The US Open is about to be played at Wingfoot this week. Yep. And there's some videos coming out of caddies, like just throwing balls onto greens and watching them roll off. There was one that was on there for 40 seconds. It rolled for 40 seconds off the green. So after getting emasculated the last couple of years, the USGA has decided it's time to take back the open. I love it. And the Wingfoot, it looks like

it is going fully rogue right now. It's going to be incredible. So that's actually a perfect segue. I'll do my cool throne first. I have golf fans on my cool throne because not only do we have the course, but we have Patrick Reed and Jordan Spieth teamed up. They're in a threesome on Thursday and Friday. Who's the girl? Those guys, those guys hate each other. Yeah. Remember that? 2018? They had the big blow up at the Ryder Cup. Well, I don't think you could put Patrick Reed in a pairing with somebody who'll be like, yeah, hell yeah, I get to golf with Patrick. Right. But remember this was Spieth and Reed were awesome in the Ryder Cup. And then in 2018, Spieth was like, nah, I don't want to play with that guy anymore. And then it was a disaster. The US got smoked.

And Patrick Reed and his wife went on a tour being like Jordan Spieth and Asshole. So they get to play together. That will be awkward. Yeah. But keep your wallet in your front pocket, Jordan. Watch your wallet. And then my hot seat is Adam Gates is officially on the hot seat because PFT, your man ranted on him. Mike Greenberg said Adam Gates is unqualified to coach youth football. Oh man. You know a good greenie rant because a good greenie rant is enough anger and then nothing memorable about it whatsoever. Yeah. Well, the funny thing is Mike Greenberg is the most unqualified person to say who's qualified to coach youth football. Right. Mike Greenberg, he had like a permission slip from his parents to

not come anywhere close to a football field until he turned 18. I just love greenie rants because they're so scripted and they're like careful. What? It's careful. When green speaks from the heart. When you when you think about like content creators out there, you can think of something memorable they said or like some opinion they had were like, oh, they really put their, you know, nuts on the line for that. Greenie has zero. Well, yeah, greenies. Greenies waited until what? Week two of the Adam Gates or is this week? Is this year three? Year three. Year three, week two of the Adam Gates experience to say that he thinks he's not a good coach. Greenie. Greenie. As Adam Gates is being escorted out, he's like, I've had enough of Adam Gates.

Yeah. Greenie is still waiting to formulate his first opinion on like 808s and heartbreaks. He is. He's a guy that will he'll nest on it like it's an egg that he's keeping warm. He'll wait for a long time. All right, Billy, finish this up and then we'll get to Dan Patrick. So I had two hot seats. One was Big Ben's walking boot. One was Carol Baskins. All right. Thanks, Billy. All right. Oh, go ahead. My new one is C.J. McCollum roasted the clippers and treated. So who's your hot seat? The clippers. All right. Nice. You got this. Jakes got a better one. Jakes got a better one. Oh, Jakes got a better one. Otzi is tropical vacations because the eight teams are not has nothing to do with you. I know you're like, well, you're not happy with me right now.

Why are you not? Oh, because yeah, thanks very snap. So the eight teams that are supposed to play in the battle for Atlantis, they're moving it from the Bahamas to the Sanford Pentagon in South Dakota. That's some difference of location. The Sanford Pentagon, including Duke. That's that's that sucks. Watch out for attorney general up there. Yeah, you might get by car. Bahamas, South Dakota, same thing. Yeah. Yikes. Thomas Mount Rushmore. By the way, Billy, you have an easy hot seat. Well, actually cool throne. Cool throne, your haters. Why? Because you're going to be focused on school on Sundays, so you won't be on, won't be here on Sundays. So the haters cool throne. Bye, everybody. But hot seat. I thought you didn't come to play

school. The Billy stands, which there are Billy stands. You will not hear Billy on Sundays. This is really confusing. Let me just read the CJ McCallum. Okay, I do it. My last tweet before I finished this class, they did vote. They want to play no more, but I didn't think they was going to go out like that on the Clippers. Good. Good for CJ. That's good. And it's funny because like people are saying that CJ should not be talking that shit about the Clippers because obviously the Blazers are no longer in the playoffs. But I don't, I can't recall the Blazers ever looking as like pathetic as the Clippers look tonight. Well, and CJ's having Dame Lillard's back after Dame Lillard remember had that big fight with all the Clippers. Yeah. When he missed those free throws and they

were talking about them going to Cancun and Paul George and everything. So I think this is fair play. And I want to put Aaron Rodgers on the cool throne because everyone gives him a lot of shit, but he went off past weekend. All right. Thank you. Very, very cool. Have you noticed his beard? I have a prediction to make about Aaron Rodgers facial hair this year. So he's growing out the big hipster beard. He looks like a bartender. And I think that at least by week 10 or 11, he's going to shave it into an ironic mustache. I even think he might do the curly cues. Yeah, the cowboy. He's going to do the waxing thing at the end. And it's going to be like, Oh, Aaron Rodgers, so goofy and funny. He's going to be. He's going to look like a guy who would give

you some cocktail you never heard of in a steel mug in Brooklyn. Yeah. Hey, check this out. It's got fennel in it. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah. We make our own ice cubes here. Yeah. All right. I like that. That's going to happen. All right. Let's get to Dan Patrick before we do that. Our word, a word from our friends, a cross country mortgage, cross country mortgage. America's crazy good mortgage company company cross country mortgage combines a people first mindset with dedication to the fundamentals of mortgage lending, which results in a fast, easy and stress free home financing experience. I used to be in the real estate world. I think a lot of people out there are thinking to themselves, I can't afford a mortgage. You know, I'm too young. I don't have

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country mortgage LLC and MLS 3029 equal housing opportunity. Go to cross country mortgage.com for licensing and disclosures. Okay, here he is. Dan Patrick. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend recurring guest. It is Dan Patrick. The Dan Patrick show is now on peacock streaming on peacock. You need to get peacock. If you don't have it, do it right now. The Dan Patrick show streaming every single day. Great to have you back on Dan. Congratulations on going back to NBC. Would you ever leave? No, you did. You did leave. Yeah, sort of. Yeah, I sort of left. And then when they gave me the opportunity to come back and be part of peacock, then I thought, you know, I'm ready to go back in. Yeah, have you learned to not giggle when you say streaming on

peacock? Get peacock. Yeah, that's all girl off. It's very funny to me still. All right. Who came up with the set design there? We just kind of throw shit in there. I like it. It's like the mini, it's the mini Dan Patrick show. You guys have a basketball hoop because you like to flop around and shoot hoops in low contact. And we have a bench press and a squat rack because we're real men. Well, I have a bench press and a squat rack as well. Who? No one uses it. No one on your shoot. Maybe the behind the scenes guys. Paulie does and McLovin does. Actually, I'm not surprised. McLovin. I mean, Perloff does not bench. What does he bench? He's Kevin Durant. No, he benched 225. Get out of here. No, I swear he did. We had a contest. I've never been more

proud of the Danettes when McLovin, he benched 225 three times. Wow. That's pretty impressive. His arms are like four feet long each. Yes. Yeah. No, he is Durant like in his size for our space there. All right. My first real question is you promised me big 10 football and now I don't have it. So no, I didn't. I didn't promise. You got me excited. I told you, well, you're not alone because everybody else has said, I thought you said they're coming back October 10th. I said, no, the target date is October 10th. That allowed them to play 10 games and then they could get into the playoffs. Whether they get to the October 10th date, which I doubt they are, that was what their plan was. And I, it's a long shot, but that was the plan.

So they have a target date. What if they miss the target? Is there a backup target date? Well, now I heard this morning that they're looking at now, it may be November, the doctor, the medical community and some of the big 10 schools say, let's push this out to November. I don't think anything's going to happen here because you're looking at the States now have problems. State of Illinois with Illinois Northwestern, Michigan with Michigan, Michigan State, Maryland. I don't know about Rutgers. So how many teams are you going to have that are going to be able to play eight? Maybe I'm fine with that. Just have Iowa and Wisconsin play every single weekend and then Ohio State can just circle the rest of them and beat them up. Maybe just have an

elimination tournament and then Ohio State just waits for the winner. I'm fine with that. That's a great idea. I'm fine with that. Yeah. I, I'm just, I know deep down that it's probably not going to happen. I know deep down what's happening is there is some posturing going on where teams where schools are basically pretending that they're fighting for there to be a season when they could have had a season and they didn't. I just, you, you said October 10th and I'm sticking to that and you let me down. Let's just say that you let me down. I apologize. The pack 12 is not going to play this fall. Just letting you know. I don't want you have your hopes up. If, even if your hopes were up before, they're not going to play football

this, this fall. Is that breaking news? Are you breaking news? No, no, no, no, no. It's going to be, they're going to try to play in January, but yeah, they, they, they took all of the drama and intrigue out. There, there's no, Hey, we might play. We could play. Right. Big 10 is still holding out hope. And then when president Trump got involved and then talked to the commissioner of the big 10, I think people thought, Oh, so this is really going to happen. And then he said, we're at the one yard line. I said, we're not even in the red zone. Okay. But the SEC is definitely happening. Yes. They're playing ACC and big 12. All right. So now this is more of an inside baseball question, but when you break a news story, I think you actually had the big 10

canceling the season first to college football writers get mad at you because it's kind of their turf and you're, and you're getting in on it. Or do you hear anything back from them? Are they like, what, how the hell did Dan Patrick get it before us? No, a lot of times what happens is somebody will confirm your story. Yep. That's the old call that the shifter, the ESPN way that, you know, if we didn't break a story, we would confirm a story. Therefore, we were able to take the story and make it ours. But no, for the most part, I mean, I welcome if it's Pat 40 or Bruce Feldman, any of those guys, if they have information, I'm always open to having them on. But no, I, I would hope that they're not envious, jealous or angry that I'm, you know, doing this show,

but somehow able to, you know, break those break those stories. You've been, you've been doing this for, for a while. And this is really the first time that everything has, you know, been put on total hold in the sports world. Do you find yourself like struggling to, I don't know, like it's obviously less fun to spend your summertime talking about this stuff than it would be to talk about, you know, let's mount Rushmore season typically, which is a sacred time of year if you're in sports radio. But like you have to, you know, switch gears entirely. Do you find yourself not having as much fun talking about, you know, the real serious stuff? I think it's not as much fun because you're talking about some pretty serious issues. And then everybody wants

to grab what you're saying and then twist it a little bit. If I talk COVID, then I'm politicizing it or weaponizing it. And all I did is personalize it because I have a compromised immune system. I said, look, you know, this is my world. And this is how I see it. And, but it's, it's not meant to be political, but somebody grabs it and they go, Oh, you know, typical, whatever. And then they run with it. But for the most part, we've had probably more things to talk about what, you know, you talk about, there was the draft, there was Brady, there was Gronk. I mean, you go down the list and you realize there were so many things that were happening that didn't deal with the game itself, but there was so much news attached to it. Mahomes is deal now Watson's deal. We dealt with

Dak Prescott's potential deal that he was going to have. And I think it made it's made us better as a show because you, you couldn't just take it for granted. Hey, let's talk about what the Lakers did last night. You really had to think about who we were having on and what stories we were going to follow. So I don't want to go through it again, but I'm glad we went through it from the perspective of it made our show better. How did all the DNS do? Was there any more extra infighting with, you know, not as much stuff to talk about? Everyone's got to come up with new ideas. No, because I said, you guys stay at home. I want you to be safe. So Paulie stayed in here, my producer. We had a skeleton crew. So I said to Fritzi and Seaton and McLovin,

if you guys aren't comfortable being in here, stay in your home. And they did that for a few months because I can't say you got to come in. I just said, if you want to come in, come in. But if you want to stay at home, I don't care how long you stay at home because you can still contribute. But, you know, they were glad, let's put it that way, to get back in the studio. Meet Friday and be able to shoot basketball and get away from being confined. So they all talked about how Paulie was a suck up because he was coming in with the boss every day. Got it. Not trying to start infighting, but that's clearly what happened, right? Paulie doesn't know how to suck up. He doesn't. Fritzi does. McLovin does. But Paulie, no. Paulie

doesn't, he doesn't care. Who would you say loves you the most out of all the dinners? Like loves you single white female love. No, no, like if there wasn't, if someone's trying to assassinate Dan Patrick, who would be the quickest to jump in front of the bullet? Oh, I was going to say nobody, but I got to pick somebody here. I'm going to guess Paulie. Yeah. Just so he could then tell everybody that he did it. Fritzi, no way. McLovin, no way. Seaton might, but I guess I'd say Paulie. Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, I, I, that's probably a process elimination. He'd do it in the off chance that the bullet wasn't fatal and then he could have that scarf for the rest. He'd do the show. He'd

take off all his flannel and just be doing a show with a bullet wound in his right shoulder. Just being like, this is where I took one for Dan. Yes. He would probably try to negotiate with the guy and be like, Hey, listen, I can, I got a great property for you in Vermont. Why don't you move up here? Yeah. Property is real cheap. I get that text from him probably once a month being like, Hey, look at this place. Not too far from me. And I'm like, I love it, but I'm like, Paulie, I'm not moving to Vermont, man. Like I'm not moving to Vermont. But he got Chris Mannix. He did move up there. So he's been working on everyone. I think he just wants the whole like sports media world to move to Vermont. It's actually an ambitious undertaking.

I like it. Well, he got Mannix to move up there and they lived about a couple of hundred yards away and they had walkie talkies. They would talk to each other on walkie talkies from their homes. Listen, I hope he never stops sending him because that means he cares. So the minute he stops sending me the real estate listings in Vermont, that means that he doesn't consider me a friend anymore. So I hope they always keep coming. All right, I'll let him know. You do jump it back to the assassination thing real quick. You do find yourself in a position where you know, somebody that works for you could pay somebody to fake try to kill you. And then they become the hero because I mean, you like you control you control all the strings there. Then

you're like, you know, you are the guy that's in charge. So it is very worthwhile to try to get on your good side. Do you find yourself like looking at any present they give you or any compliment they give you with like an air of suspicion? They don't give me presents and they don't give me compliments. Just letting you know. It's the most needy staff. When I walk out after doing the show, they wait to be told great show. It's never, it is never reciprocated. I've worked with Fritzi for over 20 years and I said to him, do you know that you've never complimented me first? Never. Because if I go out, you know, feet, let's say he books a couple of great guests, I'll always say, hey Fritzi, great job today. And then he'll go, you too. And I said, Fritzi,

you've never said, hey, great show. And he said, I have to believe I've done it once or twice. I said in over 20 years, you probably have done it maybe once or twice. So that's the audience I played to. How do you handle something like, for example, this morning in Sports Media? Because you have a respectable show, I would say. We don't have to worry about having the same level of tack that you have. But when the first thing that's trending all over social media in the morning is Odell Beckham Jr. and you find out why Odell Beckham Jr. is trending on sports media, like you probably can't really get into the weeds too much on why he's trending. Where do you draw that line? It's like, okay, well, the whole world's talking about it, but we can't.

Well, there's a lot of things the whole world can be talking about and I can't, but it's better to just touch on it in a little nudge there or we know it. We can't touch it. Cause I said, I always thought he was the number one wide receiver and not a number two. And then Seaton, of course, you know, then he laughed and Paulie laughed. And then that was it. We didn't have to, we didn't have to touch on it. And then we move on because it's not like I can go, Hey, let's get a couple of, Hey, let me get chef D on the phone. Hey chef. Chef D, what do you think of the Odell Beckham Jr. story? I, I actually, that was one of the favorite, my favorite parts about the story is that like a chef or a rapper for all these guys

sitting there and not being able to get involved. And you just know it's killing them that they can't tweet about it. It's like, no, this is us. Like we get to do this. You don't get to do this. But Kat, I was waiting for Chef D to confirm this story. I'm hearing that it did happen that she did not wipe. He adds like the little nugget on top of it. And he's like, this is my part of the story. I'm going to plant my flag. I think last time we had you on, we asked you how long you're going to be doing this for. Now that you've re-upped with the cock, what, what, what do you think in terms of like Dan Patrick retiring in three to five years? What are we looking at? I'm going to guess in

five years. I'll be done. Five. I think you told us five years like 20 years ago. I've been on the five year plan for about 10 years. Okay. This time I mean it. No way. No chance. I've done enough damage. I've bothered enough people that it's time for somebody else. So five years, that's it. I'm done doing a daily show. So right when, like, right when Peyton Manning's son or no, Arch Manning, right when Arch Manning is getting to the NFL, you're going to walk away at that point. And LeBron James son. Yes. Yeah. Yes. But I, I mean, I've been around doing this for such a long time and I'm very lucky to have done it. But you know, after a while, when you see somebody's retires and then their, their kid comes in and then they're ready to retire and then you go,

that's a long time. But I've been, I've been fortunate. I like it. I love doing this every day. I could do without TV radio is so much fun because you, as you guys know, you come in and you go, what do you want to talk about? Right. And then you just start firing away. And that's what's fun about it. And the reaction you get from people is real. They can call you, they can tweet, they can email, they can respond to you automatically or in real time. And you can't do that anymore. Newspaper columnist or TV host doesn't get to do that. So I enjoyed, I appreciate it. Now, when you say that, just to clarify, you're, you mean like radio is fun, but also the streaming when you guys are just, yeah, not, you're saying TV, when it's like a big set football night in

America, right? That's a different beast in its own. Got it. Yeah. Cause it's so much time leading up to an hour of being on TV that you spend eight to 10 hours to get to, you know, sports center was the same way. We would get in and then we'd have a three o'clock rundown meeting and then we wouldn't be on the air till 11. And it's just all of that time. And then you get on. Like who is asked to be their best at the end of the day? Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. No, seriously, football season being back on Sunday nights. We literally tape the show at like 12 30. But it's, it's hard though, because you've got to gear up. Yeah. Like sports center, I would drink four 20 ounce bottles of Coca Cola each night. Party animal. Geez. Yeah. Cause I wanted to be on fire when I got to

11 o'clock because you're tired. Yeah. And then I would get done at, let's say you're on 11, you're done at 12. I'm home by close to one, three beers and then in bed. Yeah. And that would, you know, so you do that. I was on second shift for 15 years, not the healthiest way to approach your, your job. But that, that's what it was just about every night. That's like Keith Richard stuff right there. No, it's three, three beers for, are we talking full sugar coax or, or diet? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hard core. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. No, you're right though. It is. We do, we like it's more the, the idea that you still have something left in your day. Like you could be sitting, we're sitting here. It's not hard for us to get up at 12 30 after a full slate of NFL games. It's more that

like you just know that you, no matter what, you still have like the work part of your day coming up. Yeah. And it's live as well. So you add a little degree of difficulty there and it, but I love that. I love that part because you were always on edge. You know, you had to be ready to go, you know, if you screwed up on a highlight or whatever it might be. And you know, to be, it probably didn't help that I was all wired up from the, the soda that I was drinking, but yeah, I got amped up and then I had to quickly come down with three beers and less than an hour. And then when you're doing football night in America, you have to hang out with Peter King all day. And he's probably telling you stories of smoking doobies with the doobie brothers.

You know, I was with turning Bruce Springsteen up to 11 and driving 67 miles an hour up 95. I was with Peter King one night. We were at dinner in New York and it's the Sunday night guys. We would get there on Saturday night and we'd have dinner and we started telling stories. And then Tony Dungey started telling a story and Peter King says to Tony, Tony, you're wrong and here's why. And we just stopped because Tony was talking about something to do with coaching. And Peter just says, Tony, you're wrong and here's why. And then we just went, holy he's, he's telling Tony doesn't know what he's talking about. That's Peter. So much, so much like information inside of his head.

So wait, when you're like five years from now, if you leave the Dan Patrick show and they inevitably give it, let's say to Ross Tucker, Ross Tucker gets that gig and you're on the road and you accidentally tune into the new Dan Patrick show with Ross Tucker, you're not going to listen and be like, I need to come and I need to take my show back. No, no, once I go, I'm gone. Like once I left sports center, I was gone. Football night in America. Once I left, I was gone. Like I don't, I won't look back. Absolutely not. But that would be funny. The Dan Patrick show featuring. Yeah, we hosted by Ross Tucker. Yeah. And then you pull a Jay Leno and you come back like two weeks

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you maybe give the speech? He shouldn't get in the Hall of Fame. He won't get in the Hall of Fame. Really? Don't you think it's hypocritical? Well, he was betting on his team. Right. But if you bet on your team. But now they're taking and gambling money. But they're taking and gambling money. That's hypocritical. I know, but he could manipulate the lineup. So what about the days that he didn't bet on his team? If you're a bookie, you're probably letting your friends know Pete's not betting on the Reds today. And then you may alter your pitching staff. You may use a pitcher, John Franco, more than he should, because you want to win that day. I mean,

if Pete would have stopped and never managed, Pete would probably be in the Hall of Fame. But, you know, all that information came out about him gambling. And I believe it's like cheating in grad school. You know, the undergrad, Pete was, you know, magna cum laude, but you cheat in grad school. Should that affect what you did, you know, with undergrad? And it does with baseball. I grew up loving Pete Rose in Cincinnati. And it's tough to say it. Unless they go, here's Pete in the Hall of Fame. I mean, he's benefited more by not being in the Hall of Fame. If Pete was in the Hall of Fame, nobody would have talked about him the last 25 years. But because of this, he became a sympathetic figure. He gets the biggest ovations of all of these players.

You know, somehow that, you know, baseball has done this to Pete Rose. Pete Rose did it to himself. And it's unfortunate, but Pete, the baseball player and Pete, the person, are the same thing. It's like Barry Bonds was his own worst enemy. Roger Clemens is his own worst enemy. A lot of these guys are their own worst enemy that prevents them from, you know, kind of getting out of their own way. So why don't you punish Pete Rose by putting him in the Hall of Fame? Like, we'll show you, Pete. No one's going to talk about you ever again. Shut them up. I like it. That'll do it. That actually probably would hurt him. Like six years from now, if Pete was in the Hall of Fame, he'd be like, man, it sucks. No one's talking. I can't like show up at Hooters and get paid $200

per autograph anymore. He made more money by not making it in the Hall of Fame. That's good spin zone. I just think it's hypocritical. And obviously I, I love gambling. I, I, I think all sports should, should embrace it because it's inevitable. What's the most you ever, what's the most you ever bet on a sporting event? A lot, a lot. Like how much? Um, thousands. We're going to probably have to cut this thousands more than thousands. I bet 3000. I bet more than that. 5000 is the most I've ever bet on a game. Well, I bet 3000 and I, I, I, I was up 6000 and I bet on the orange bowl a years, years, years, years ago. Last bet I made and I lost the bet. So it cost me 3,300.

And then I closed up shop after that. Didn't, I've never gambled again. Out of winter. I bet, I bet 2000. I lost, I lost 3,300. No, you're on 6,000 though. You said, yeah, you're out of winter. I walked out with, with cash. Yeah. I bet, yeah. I bet two grand on, on the Broncos in the Super Bowl against the Seahawks. And then that was a mistake. And then I was like, okay, I'm never betting that much again. And then I bet $2,000 on the Panthers against the Broncos because the Broncos fucked me over. At that point, I was like, you know what, I'm done betting that much. So I've shaved quite a bit off that, but everybody has a bad beat too. I, you know, like Floyd Mayweather's never lost

a bet, which I find interesting. He always tells us when he wins a bet. I lost a bet. It was Bears Packers, Chester Markle was the kicker. All he had to do was make the field goal. And I cover field goal blocked. He picks it up and he runs in for a touchdown. And I, I lost that. That was probably the worst bad beat I ever had. But that's one of those where you go. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't mean that's fun. When you get that pain, when you're like, how the hell did this happen? Oh yeah. I never enjoyed the winning. I never enjoyed the winning, the losing. I couldn't watch games anymore. Oh, see, I love it all. Like a real bad beat. That's, that's shit you'll remember forever. I remember when they just magically put on time,

Utah versus Duke and like the second round, like seven years ago, like there's shit that just sticks with you. And it's, that's what it is. It's, it's, you know, you tell those stories for the rest of your life. I don't need to tell those stories. I'm glad that I don't have any more stories to tell from that, that last beat I had. I mean, imagine if you were betting on, was it 1976 Olympics and you had the USA against Russia and basketball and that, that entire ending sequence, even if you lost that, you would never, ever forget where you were. A bad beat is just so you just gain a good story. It is, but I, I'm okay. I've got enough stories to go around. I don't need to go through that anymore. It was painful. I used to call up, there was a score of like you

could dial up a number and you could get all the scores. And I, I wanted to call up, let's say I had army in 18 and they ended up covering, I would call up just to hear that score over and over again because it made me feel good. Yes. Oh, absolutely. When you got a winner and you're like, and you got the no doubter. There's nothing, no better feeling in the world. Oh, it, it's, no, I, I know, I know gambling is, is going to be here really soon. And all these commissioners looking for their piece of the point. I mean, that was really the holdup. You know, they made it seem like, I think it was Roger Goodell said that gambling ruins families and, you know, now everybody's changed their tune on, on gambling. Like, no, everything's, it's good. It's a good participation sport, you know,

for the family to be all involved. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm again, very biased, but I do think legalized gambling is a lot safer than people betting over their head with, you know, credit they don't have and all that stuff. Like that's, it's, it's like a lot of things that once you're taken out of the shadows and it gets regulated, you can, you can actually, it can a lot of times be a lot safer. Well, I wonder if we will get to the point where if we go back to, when we go back to stadiums, let's say you have sort of a gambling suite there that, that you can go in and place bets there and it'll be governed by the NFL and the States where you have to have cash to be able to bet. And then you just go in, you could bet on like soccer matches in the, the Premier League

where you can, you can bet while you're there. I think that that's probably where we're headed, where we'll provide the bookie for you. Like, come on in and, you know, here's your winnings and that'll cost you. And, but I think there's so, there's so many billions and billions of dollars that are attached to this that the NFL is going to capitalize more than anybody, obviously. Yeah. So I know you're not on Twitter much, if at all. Are you ever on Twitter? No. Okay. Do you, do your guys ever freak out when Dan Patrick starts trending and it's a politician, not you? Well, if they say, Paulie will go, you're trending. And then I know that it's the other Dan Patrick in Texas, the Lieutenant Governor. And then I know that that's not going

to be a good thing. But I, I'm to the point now where, you know, I, I just felt bad because I had people who I know who said, what do you have against old people? And I said, I, I don't know what, what are you talking about? They said, no, your quoted is saying that, Hey, old people die. And I go, Oh my God. And then I looked at what the Lieutenant Governor Texas said. I go, no, I'm all for old people. You know, I hope they live long, great lives. You know, and then I'm going, people think that I'm against old people here. So that you should, you should just have your name switched back to being Dan Pugh. Well, it's a little late in the game. Clear that right up. No, it's not too late. Just do it.

Well, you should, you should do Dan Peacock. If you're a company man. How about Danny P? Then it could be Pugh, Patrick or Peacock. Yeah. Danny Cox. Yeah. Go Cox. Go Cuck. Yeah. But if you grow up with a name like that, you're like, you know, I have six brothers and sisters. So it's, we just kind of grew up and we knew, all right, go ahead, make the joke and then we move on from it. I got to CNN and that was in the early eighties and my boss said, you got to change your name. And I go, I thought he met my first name. I swear to God, because I'd like, and I'm attached to this name. Like, you know, at that point in my life, you know, so what? He goes, you can't go on the air and then people

make fun of you. And then I go, Oh, so I just said, all right, well, I'll just take my middle name. And then that was it. And all my sisters were mad at me and I'm like, you got married. You changed your name. What are you talking about? Right? Yeah. Yeah. It was a smart move. That was smart. Yeah, I think so. I think it worked out well in the long run. Have one thing people don't talk, I think enough about you, Dan, is you have a great voice. Do you voice exercises? No, you've never, you've never done like vocal training. No, very lucky. My grandmother had a great voice, gravelly voice, but that was probably from Bourbon. But I, I was just lucky. I don't, you know, when people say, how do you get a voice like that?

And I go, I don't know. I just opened my mouth. So no, I didn't, didn't do anything. No vocal training. It's very comforting. And I've also noticed that when, when I listen to your show, sometimes you are able to do like the pregnant pause or take, you really take your time in between words sometimes where you're obviously thinking about something. What's the longest you've ever gone between saying words? Probably a good six, seven seconds, nothing. But you know what? There's, there's something great about if you stop, then people stop as well. And there's something that, okay, now what are you saying after that is really important. But I don't like to go a mile a minute. I like to let it breathe. I like to slow it down sometimes. But

I don't do it for effect. It's just sometimes you just do it where you're going, you know, what it, what is the right thing to say? Because everything is going to be examined. And you got to be careful. Certainly in the last, you know, five months with what are you saying and how are you saying it? And then how are people consuming it? So I've been probably even more aware of it than I have been in previous years. I almost paused for a little bit longer though, but I didn't want to do that because you would have thought I was staging it. Alternatively, you could take our approach, talk fast, make a lot of mistakes, fumble over yourself and people are like, you guys are fucking idiots. So we're not going to, like, whatever you say,

it doesn't really matter. There's probably some truth to that because since there are two of us, sometimes three when Hank's chiming in doing a show at once, there's really not an opportunity to pause, collect your thoughts. There's long, long silences. See if we can get everyone to like be like, is my phone broken? I actually think that we're incapable of doing it. Yeah. Because if both big cat and I stop talking for a second, Hank might think that we're waiting on him to comment on something. Billy might fucking think that we're making fun of him. Yeah. He'll start crying. The whole thing just falls apart. The house just goes to shit. If mom and dad stop talking for three seconds, this room will catch on fire. Constant noise. But we should try doing it

like that. Yeah. That was uncomfortable. That was uncomfortable. It felt weird. Can you close your legs though? You're really distracting. Who? Me? You can see my balls? Yeah. We had to blow out my balls on the episode of Barstool Van Talk. I got to pixelate those. Your role in those things out right now. Sweatpants. Yeah. Accident sometimes. All right. I got two last questions. Okay. Two last questions. One, give us your hottest take for the NFL season. Don't give us, you know, the Peacock version. Like, oh, I think Tom Brady's going to have a good year. Give us something you actually feel. The cock take. And we can really hold it to you for the rest of the year. Like I said,

the Ravens were frauds. I took a lot of shit and then I ended up being right, but that would took a lot of shit. Like, give us a take that you're going to have to be like, stand behind it. I can't give you my take until Thursday when the season starts. Because like, yes. We're not going to hear this till after Thursday. Packers are going to make the playoffs. There. I gave you mine. Okay. Patriots don't make the playoffs. Oh, Hank is mad. Okay. PFT. Hank is real life mad. We're trading takes trading takes. I think that I think that the Panthers will be in the wildcard conversation as late as late as mid November. Teddy Bridgewater. Wow. Wait, late November. Yeah. That way,

since I used the term like late November, I can be very ambiguous. Yeah. And not really have to answer for my take. And it was in the conversation. Yeah. No, here's my take. The Broncos are making the playoffs Denver Broncos making the playoffs this year. If they don't, I'll let, I'll let some chick from Instagram shit on my chest. That's good. That's really good. Don't hold me to that. Yeah. Hank's looking at me like you said it. You have to do it. Yeah. Again. Okay. Well, that was a pause. I was actually reading. I googled Dan Patrick Peacock in this. You have Facebook comments. You have one comment on your video. Susan K McQueen. She seems nice. She said, Dan Peacock sucks video in and out, bad quality,

reruns not available for days and days. Please go back or add YouTube. I'm just telling you what the people are saying. That's one person. She does. She seems angry. I would check. I would Susan McQueen does a lot of Facebook commenting. You know what? Give me, I'm going to find her number. I'm going to actually call her. Yes. Have her on the show. Be like, Hey, let's figure this out. I've actually watched it and it's, it's opposite. Everything. I'm going to call her. I'm going to call her and just apologize because that's what I do. It's, it's one person. It's, it's, you know, one person at a time. Yeah. You build an audience like Barstool. Yes. All right. So my last, last question. All right. So we are going to come

up to Connecticut. Uh, we were planning on doing it and then Corona virus happened. Who are you, who are you bringing with it? So it's going to be our crew. Yes. There's me, PFT, Hank. And then so I think Billy football, our intern will be our fourth and we'll play three on three. What do you, what do you put the line at 21 games to 21? So we're going to play how, how good is the intern here? He's, he's tall, but I don't think he really plays basketball. He play, he probably plays basketball like a football player. So probably doesn't really know what he's doing. Yeah. But that guy can be dangerous. All right. So let's say that he can, we'll pick a day net, a fourth day net that he can only sub in and out with.

All right. So that's fair. So what's the, what's the three 21? Yeah. It's going to take days. Like we're going to have to get a hotel. We're going to have to create a bubble because it 21 will take a long time. Yeah. But we'll do it. What do you, who do you, who are you betting on? Now that you bet, I'd have to see you guys shoot around here. I know that you love playing and you, you've got an unfair advantage. You've seen the Danettes. You've seen us scrimmage against Adam Sandler. You've seen us in the, so you know, I put it this way. I have no idea. It's been about six years since I've played a competitive game of basketball, but I just touched rim over the weekend. So you should be afraid of that.

Well, you're, you're an, you're athletic because you, I saw that when you were trying out as a place kicker. Yeah. True. And obviously you got meaty thighs because I'm seeing them. Oh, yeah. So I put those away in front of me. Damn. I think we would win. I actually think it would all come down to how Hank's stamina is on how good is Hank? How good is Hank? Hank can be, Hank can get it. Hank is like the perfect six man. Like he gets hot. He's a microwave. He gets hot. And when he gets hot, he stays hot, but if he's cold, he's just going to be throwing it out of the gym. But if his stamina is there, you guys would be, the Danettes would be screwed. But Hank also, he smokes weed. So we all do. So that would be, that probably goes against us.

I would say you guys might arrive as, as favorites here. Okay. All right. Well, you guys would be like the Milwaukee Bucks. You'd be coming in as favorites. And then all of a sudden, maybe the pesky Miami heat would show up. You think, you think Yannis is a, is a bust? You think he's a bum? Have you said that yet? No. So you're not doing your job. We'd better fraud. Yeah. So you fraudulent. What, what kind of show are you running? I had no problem saying the Miami heat would win that series against Milwaukee. I had no problem saying that whatsoever because in that, in that playoffs, you can't just run up and down the floor like they do during the regular season. Miami has had a great philosophy here,

but I think the Greek freak has got to get a signature move. Yeah. And I, it's one move that he's going to, he's got to have that because he doesn't beat you off the dribble. You know, he doesn't have a reliable shot. He doesn't shoot free throws well, but if he gets to run up down the floor, then you will not stop him. But you know, Miami has had a good defensive philosophy there. Sounds like you're saying he's a bust. I do like, I like the way that you put it though, which is a classic like late nineties talk. He needs a signature move. Like I could imagine my, my dad getting mad at the TV when I was a kid watching sports, because this guy doesn't have a signature movie. It reams, got the sky hook. Jerry West had the logo move. It's the other

dad thing to do is be like, you know what, you honest? He asked, he has to go and work on his post moves. He's got to get his back to the basket. He's got to learn how to, he's got to learn his post moves in the summer. Yes. Been a summer with white Howard and work on his, on his post. No, no, he's got to go to like, uh, who was it? Patrick Ewing was Doug Moe big man camp or somebody like that. He's got to do like that. But you know, when you think about it, how many players of the older generation didn't have a signature move? Like they, it very few guys, Will Chamberlain didn't have a signature move. Shaq didn't have a signature move. Uh, well, I would, I would say Will Chamberlain probably had a signature move. We probably didn't see it off the, off the court.

Okay. I see we're going here. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I, I, I'm trying to be serious and be a goddamn journalist and then everything is a joke to you. Well, because you won't fucking just say it. Giannis is a frog. You were saying I had to have a second hot take or something with the football segment. I don't, I'm, are we done? You're too measured. Here's what we have to do. Just come up with the name of the move first. Yeah. And then tell him he has to, he has to learn it. Like, I like the Euro step, the fraud buster, the G Y R O step. Well, you've got to come up with a, a Greek dish. Yeah. Uh, Spana Copa. Yeah. The, uh, Musalata. Hmm. The flaming cheese. What's that called? Sovaki or something like that. The flaming cheese. If he did that, if he like

dumped on someone and then just lit a match. Yeah. The tiramisu Superman. Yeah. Okay. Okay. See, this is, this is what happened, you know, 20 years, 20 years ago at sports center, when you try to come up with catchphrases, this is what would have happened if we were sitting around talking about a player like the Greek freak, you'd go, we, oh, hey, we got to do a Greek dish here. And then that'll be the catchphrase for the Greek freak. Yeah. Satisfied was actually that sounds like the best time ever. Yeah. It was, it was a lot of fun. Now journalism is just calling people frauds. Yes. Look how far we've come. Um, all right, Dan, thank you as always. We really appreciate everyone. Go download Peacock Peacock can watch Dan every single day. And then that's every

single day. I'm happy you guys are back streaming. You're always part of my morning routine. And make sure you do try to come up. I, I, I want you guys to play. Yes. Yes. We're hashtag. We want to play. We want to play. And if you, what you want to do is come up on a meat Friday. Yes. I see that. And it will get the triggers fired up, ready to go. And then we'll have some beverages. I got beer on tap here. So we're, we're good to go. We should also all like have a wrinkle where we all have to play in Paulie's flannel shirts or something. That would be good. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. We have to have jerseys. He's definitely got three blue like blue flannels and three red flannels. And we'll do that. He does love his

flannel. He loves his shirts for skins, but it's, it's pants for bottomless. Yeah. You don't want to see us with our shirts off. Balls off everywhere. I've seen enough skin here. Yeah. No, you don't want to see that. Yeah. All right, Dan. Thanks so much, man. Appreciate it. Thank you guys. That interview with Dan Patrick was brought to you by me on these. Have you ever seriously thought about what kind of underwear you throw on every single day? I don't anymore. It's great. When I'm not wearing my, my bird dogs that have the built in underwear, you know what I'm wearing for underwear me on these. It's the only type of underwear that I own. I probably have like 20 pairs and it is so freeing, so relaxing to know that every single pair of underwear that you put

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up. So that 10 times fast left calf cramped up. Yeah. Yeah. So he's, but he's back. He's back because every park he's back because everybody else thinks just as badly as he does. So you can't really point a finger. I'm gonna call him Lieutenant Randy. I just love both legs. I love the fact that like with no fans in the crowd, you're thinking how's the game going to be different? How like, what's the, you know, will there be no home field advantage? How will offenses do? You know, you can auto, you can hard count all this stuff. No, really the only change that we can actually understand is that kickers are such mental cases that they can't kick when there's an, they're in an empty stadium. Yes, that's it. That's literally the only bit like if you,

if you looked at week one, it looked like real football, except for the fact that every kicker sucked, even kickers in mile high. It's down 71.6% as opposed to 81.6% last year. So it usually hovers right around 80, 83%. And so it's down over 10% this year. I have a theory about why, besides the fact that I think some kickers do like pick one person to aim for in the stands behind the net. Yeah. I actually think that the touchback has a lot to do with it. So all the kicks are, you know, they're all going for touchbacks. There aren't as many returns. I think that kickers are such headcases that sometimes like being involved in a kick return and getting hit a little bit, it kind of knocks them back into reality. But touchbacks haven't been around for a

while. Touchbacks have been getting less and less over the last several years. And there's been like kind of a small downward trend. I would say it's more about the extra point, which has also been for the last few years, because that's the extra point used to be free throws, used to go to the line, see the ball go through the hoop, see the, see the ball go through the uprights and be like, okay, I got this. Now those aren't sure things. And it feels like this is someone, some nerd can figure out the stats. But if a kicker misses an extra point, they're like 95% chance they're going to miss their next kick. Oh, of course. But the interesting thing is that extra points aren't down at all this year. No, but I'm saying that mentally fucks them up more than the kickoff.

Yeah. If you miss what's supposed to be like a gimme extra point, then it does fuck you up. And you can't like turn your brain off. And just that's, you know, when it used to be the one yard, two yard line, it was automatic. It was just get there, see, you know, almost like a nice practice rep that you get live practice rep. Now they don't have that. They have to be worried about it all the time. I'm just going to, I'm going to pull a Brazilian soccer coach technique and just no kickers are allowed to have sex until the percentage improves. I just love kickers. Absolutely. It's always fun. It's always fun to see kickers fuck up. That the good Monday night game that we talked about at the top, but like Kostowski,

just the pressure that you feel when you watch a game, when you know that a kicker is spiraling on tilt, it just makes for such great theater. All right. Our next segment, we had Trouble in Paradise, Chicago Bears. It only took two days for the Bears to totally fuck up one of the best comebacks they've had a long time. Alan Robinson wants to trade. Alan Robinson, this league, the hell out of his social media. He not only unfollowed and took out any mention of the Bears, he deleted every Instagram picture of him in a Bears uniform. How much time do you think that took for him to just go through and scrub his door? A while. A couple hours. Yeah, a while. That's that's dedication. I guess he's, is this supposed to apply pressure to a front office?

Do front offices respond to that where they're like, Oh shit, he untagged Ryan Pace and the team photo. He's dumb enough that he could do it. He, I don't, I don't really understand why they wouldn't sign him, especially they gave some money, you know, giving this is what happens when you give 13 million or whatever it was to Jimmy Graham and Robert Quinn gets a bunch of money and he's 30 years old. And then Alan Robinson is outside of Clio Mack is your best player and you're not going to pay him. So I don't really, it's very confusing. You also saw the good, the sign that you are fucking up. There's two signs. One, when other players start tweeting about it from your team being like pay Alan Robinson, because usually players kind of stay out of all of that, right? They know.

Right. They stay out of it though. Usually they don't talk about what four against. They don't talk about another guy's money. And two, when fan bases, when fans from other fan bases start dreaming about trading for Alan Robinson, you're like, Oh, maybe we shouldn't let that guy go when everyone's like, Ooh, we got an extra second round pick line around. Let's go get Alan Robinson. There's like, I saw 15 teams that are rumored to go after Alan Robinson. That's the sign, Ryan Pays, stop being a fucking idiot and sign Alan Robinson. Dude, I saw, I saw some actual reports saying that the Washington football team would be is interesting going all in. And it's like, since when did Washington become more functional than Chicago? That's an interesting one. Yeah,

because they're definitely not yet at that point. But no, yeah, it's not good. I think that Alan Robinson, he is the greatest wide receiver of all time. Yes, he's very good. There's a certain part of him that I think likes being known as the guy that is a really good wide receiver that doesn't have anybody that can get him the ball. And so now that Mitch is taking that next step and he's really good. Let's cool down. Alan Robinson can't be he has no more excuses being like, I'm, you know, a great player with somebody who can't like he played for in Jacksonville. He had Nick Foles. And I know he didn't. Yeah, he had Nick Foles for a little bit. Didn't he in Jacksonville? Not even for two games. Alan Robinson has been on the Bears for a while. Who was his quarterback

from Jacksonville? Blake Bortles. I was trying to. Oh, I was trying to. Okay. He had Christian Hackenburg and Penn State and then Mr. Biscay. So yeah, Alan Robinson is the best wide receiver all time. Yeah, he's good. Say that. Well, if he wants, there are an abundance of teams that would like Alan Robinson that have shitty court. Every team wants Alan Robinson. Any New York team would love Alan Robinson. The Jets. That would be such a Jets move. Be like, let's get Alan Robinson. Oh, we still can't block anyone. So we can't get the ball to Alan Robinson. Either way, figured out Ryan Pace. I just it's just such it's so classic Bears like doesn't even give you two 48 hours to enjoy a win. Nope. Can't even have that. You might have been hanging out with

Jimmy Graham too much because that's a Jimmy Graham technique to remove like one specific thing from your Twitter bio. You're hoping that you'll get paid more money. Yeah, it's so stupid. All right. Should we wrap up? We have guys on chicks. Hank. Hank is we're watching the Celtics Heat right now. Hank is very Hank just did the the travel motion very boisterously boisterously. Well, there's no sound. I couldn't tell they called the uh just stipulated the travel or not. Yeah, you're Italian. You're going crazy. Big with your hands. Big cat PFT and Ria's boyfriend. I keep having sex dreams about my best guy friend, not just a couple, but at least four times a week. It's getting so bad that I'm starting to wonder if I have actual feelings for him.

Unfortunately, he has a girlfriend. So how do I get rid of these feelings? Serious inquiries only. Thank you. I'm gonna just go out on a limb and say you're you have feelings for four times four times a week in your dreams. Imagine dreaming about anything four times a week. No, I night terrors. I have maybe food. Yeah, screaming night terrors four times a week easily. But yeah, that's kid. Can you say this to women like yo bro, just go jerk off? Yeah, I think she's just got to go jerk off. Just take you gotta jerk off before you go to bed. Take the bullets out of the gun. Yeah. But that might make her more horny. No, I don't know. Yeah, women can orgasm forever of the female clitoris is that you never know

what's going to heat it up or cool it down. We're talking multiples now. It's getting so bad that I'm starting to wonder if I have actual feelings for him. I think you do. Yeah, 100% you do. I think that's like dreaming of go of winning the lottery and being like, I'm starting to think I'd really enjoy winning the lottery. I think you just, yeah, it sounds like you should just tell him, hey, we should fuck so I could figure out if I want to fuck you or not. Yeah, just to find out. Well, he's got a girlfriend. Yeah, but just to find out. Well, then you could daydream about it too. Hey, maybe we should fuck to find out whether or not we should be fucking. Tell the girlfriend that you need to do it. Right. Be like, no, tell the girlfriend. Be like, do you

want your boyfriend to keep cheating on you in in my sleep? Or we could just do it with your permission. Or you could go like real passive aggressive and tell your boyfriend, hey, what would you say if I got mad at you for dreaming about fucking one of your female friends and then see how he reacts? Yes. Yes. That won't make him suspicious. Speaking of night terrors. Hey, Barthol guys, I recently got married and my husband has vicious night terrors. He wakes up almost daily in the night screaming so loud but has no idea in the next morning. I'm afraid to go to sleep. What do I do? Hmm. You jerk off before you go to bed? Yeah, I know. I need to do a sleep study. I want to do a sleep study on myself because I sleep walk and talk. What are you looking at,

Billy? Three cheat. Three cheat. Yeah, there you go before you go to sleep. Knock it out with the melatonin. That's bad stuff. Yeah, put them. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. Maybe go to sleep with a weapon. Go to sleep with a gun in your hand or loaded gun. Here's what you do just for safety. Right before bed, be like, hey, I want to get a little kinky with it. Put a blindfold on him and then handcuff him to the bed. Every night. And then he's going to get real horny and then you're like, okay, good night. Yeah. And then you can't do shit. Guys are so dumb that you won't realize you're doing that every night. You can do it on repeat. Yeah. Oh, tonight's the night that I'm going to get my dick sucked while I'm blindfolded and strapped up to the bed like I'm

a prisoner in Alcatraz. Yeah. All right, next. Supplats. What makes sex hardcore? The penetration. Whoa. Choking, slapping? Viewing the penetration. So I don't know. What do you think, Hank? Billy, what do you think makes sex hardcore? What's hardcore sex in your mind? Parkour. Parkour. Okay, word association. I think, yeah, it's whenever what's that guy's name? James Dean. That's hard. Johnny sins. Johnny sins. Yeah, that's hardcore. That's all I know. That's hardcore sex. My mind just went to figure out the difference between hardcore porn and soft-core porn. Yeah, no, I think hardcore sex is if you're soft-core doesn't show penetration. Yeah, if the guy can if the guy can make it through the first

Charlie horse, that's hardcore. Anything past the first Charlie horse, that's that's hardcore. I would say longer than five minutes of continual penetration is hardcore. That's crazy. Can you imagine? Can be me. Marathon. Subboys. Two weeks ago, I went on vacation with my boyfriend's family and while I was using the outdoor shower, the shower of the door blew open. I didn't notice that first because I was washing my hair, but when I finally opened my eyes, this is so hot. I caught my boyfriend's dad staring at me while I was in the shower. I've seen this video. We fought. I quickly grabbed a towel, but he definitely saw me naked. We avoided each other for the rest of the trip and I kept the incident to myself. I haven't told my boyfriend,

do you think I should? I feel like it might make things extremely awkward. Thanks. Love the show. No. Why? Whatever. If it's an outdoor shower and he's a dad, he was probably just admiring. Dad doesn't love outdoor showers. Yeah, the plumbing that goes into it and like the craftsmanship of constructing a quality outdoor shower, he's probably just like looking at the spigot. He's like, I bet that's how. Seeing how the wood deals with the water. Is that like a three eighths washer on there? No, what you need to do is knowing that he's a dad and he loves outdoor showers, you got to just look at him in the outdoor shower and then be like, even, never speak about it again, then fuck. Nobody had to never speak of that again. Ever. The last person you should mention

it to is your boyfriend. Yeah. If anything, mention it to your boyfriend's mom and be like, I saw your husband jerking it to me earlier and see what happens there. But do not, do not talk about this to anyone, especially a podcast. Oh, everyone's thinking like, oh, I got a lake house. My dad's kind of horny. He always stands right outside the outdoor shower. By the way, outdoor showers, that is, you know, some people dream of additions that they make to their house. Like I know you've talked about putting in a full basketball court. Yeah. Once you get insanely rich. I just want an outdoor shower. Yeah, they are the absolute best. I don't get if it's winter time, if it's snowing outside, if it's hot outside out, you can't beat an outdoor

shower. I don't think you can run the plumbing when it's cold. Yeah, you leave it on a drip. The only problem is you wrap a blanket in it. You wrap a blanket. You wrap a blanket, and then you leave it on a drip, and then your plumbing never freezes. The problem with outdoor showers, I feel like everyone who's ever had an outdoor shower, they always cheap out on the soap in the outdoor shower. It's never good soap. It's like, well, it's outdoor. Like it's a fucking, it's like, yeah. My dad uses Pert. Yeah, or it's like dish soap. They're outdoors, they don't care. It's like dial. Yeah. Or it's the liquid stuff, Paul Olive, or the old Irish spring bars that last forever. If you're lucky. It's been there since like 1984. Yeah, it's like

those are fire. It's the size of a tooth, and you're trying to get it underneath your armpit and scrub around. You're right. You're right. They do cheap out, but I would have like a luxurious outdoor shower that has, you know what, I might even fuck around and put like the hotel thing that has the dispenser that goes into the water flow. Oh, I like that. Oh, yeah. I like that. Yeah, this is my dream. Yeah, I don't ask my hotel cocktail. I want one of those with mouthwash, like at the gym. That would be nice. And then you shot a mouthwash every morning. Like go underneath it. No, no, they have the, you know, at the gym, sometimes they'll have the soap dispensers up at the sink where there's a little, there's a little cup and you can get it. Oh,

I thought you were saying a mouthwash. Have I been drinking soap? Like, you know, like. No, I'm not sure I've been drinking mouthwash. Yeah, it's either mouthwash or the stuff that they put combs in at the barbershop. Yeah, that's some delicious. What is that stuff? Barbershop. That always looks, no, that looks, that's like Chernobyl stuff. I've never tasted it in my life, but I can guarantee you it's got more electrolytes and Gatorade. I would say that guy's Mr. Peanut on the bottle, but it's just not. No, the green, the green talcum powder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a quick way to smell like a six year old white dude. All right, this one's gross. Hello, Barstle. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and he has one weird thing.

Whenever we do the nasty, he makes me swallow his load. He tells me science has proved it will strengthen my immune system and increase our intimacy. I want to believe him, but I also hate swallowing his little soldiers. It tastes like warm ranch. Yeah, don't do that. This is becoming more and more of a deal breaker for me. I don't think I should keep doing it and suck it up, literally. Or if I should find a different guy who will treat me in my throat with more respect and less sperm. Yeah, a guy that like demands that you can swallow. Yeah, no, just make out with him immediately after. And then spit on him. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's fucked up. You need to stand up for yourself. Also, don't buy any of that pseudoscience. Billy, your job for Friday is

find pseudoscience anti that. Actually, I have some to go give it to us. So there's like a study that says that by swallowing sperm, your autoimmune response, like the female's autoimmune response to killing the sperm actually gets lessened by more exposure. So it actually makes you more easily pregnant because the female body doesn't kill the sperm. Ah, okay. Okay. I don't think that's true. You get pregnant from the mouth. No, no, no, but like when it's not in the mouth, but if you got it, if you swallow it and you keep it down down in there. Yeah. What if you swallow it so hard that it goes straight to your pussy? This is actually a thing. Okay. What if you drink so much of it that you pee it out so fast that the sperm are still alive when you pee it

out? No, no, no, by it's like, it's like you build up a tolerance for it. So then when it's actually for the baby making it, how much do you have to drink? How many gallons for it? Billy gets questioned. He's like, no, no, this is actually something I read. It's like, okay, well, it's like, that doesn't answer it. Because then the immune system doesn't kill it when it's down there. God, who did this study? I read it. Billy read it somewhere. Yeah, Billy, you managed to actually strengthen that bad argument by making a worse argument on the other side. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty easy to debunk or you can just do, I've read that if you drink like a lot of pineapple juice, it tastes a lot better. So what you need to do is before you blow him next time, you need to

chug a shitload of dole. And then his sperm will taste great. Yes. Hi, my boyfriend and I've been dating for five years and he still won't let me touch his butt or anywhere relatively close to his butthole. Is this a red flag or something I should just get over? No, he probably doesn't wipe correctly. Probably has no ass. People can be self conscious about that. You need to get him some dude wipes. Yeah. Clean that ass up. I've heard that if you have no ass and someone goes to squeeze it and there's nothing there, it's really like embarrassing. Oh, really? I read that as a study. You're going to come up short. My hand just goes through you. It's always been a bridge. You're going to end up grabbing your own hand. It slides off like you're using a claw machine

and there's no stuffed animal there. Just scrape the bottom. Correct. Last one? Sure, last one. Hey, big cat, Tennessee Titans kicker, PFT, annoying Hank and animal lover Billy. My boyfriend and I recently adopted a puppy. Why are you shaking your head, Billy? I'm nodding. Super excited. Animal fingerer. He doesn't love them. He just has feelings of lust. You're the best sex last night with a toad. It's frog, dude. My boyfriend and I recently adopted a puppy. Super exciting. But my boyfriend is starting to become a dog. First, it was cute when he was playing with them barking back and lying on his back for belly scratches. But now he's looking my face like our dog and joke sniffs our puppy's butt. This is getting to

be too much. Also yesterday, I found a shit in our yard that is about half the size of our puppy, so I know the puppy didn't do it should I be worried. He's turning into a dog. That's so cute. Well, you need to treat him like a dog. Yeah, your dog needs a friend. Leash him up. That's great. The joke sniff in the butt. Make him drink out of a bowl. Yikes. Oh, wait, last one. Stop Billy football. I'm having trouble raising my chickens. Got about eight of them. Maybe you can give me tips on how to raise cars. All right, tell us why we pick a ping-pong ball. Go ahead, Billy. 62. What have you learned from raising chickens? One, eight, 28, 28, 35, one. All right, take care of your chickens. Take care of your

muscles. What did I say? If you crush up oyster shells and put them in your chicken coop, it's actually really good for the egg shells. 85. 85. What just fell out of the ceiling? There's like something, something white just fell out of the ceiling. Is somebody, somebody's jerking on the third floor? Maybe. In the crawl space? Do we have a leak? All right, we'll see everyone on Friday. Love you guys. Goddamn it, Pete. Love you, kid. We're everybody like the shy ones. Love you, kid. We're everybody like Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.

It's part of my tip presented by Barb Stool Sports.