Pardon My Take - Football Is Back, Fastest 2 Minutes + Recapping Every Week 1 NFL Game

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

Week 1 is here and we do the Fastest 2 minutes to get the show started. We recap every game from Sunday. (00:02:42 - 00:09:13) Bears/Rams (00:09:13 - 00:20:39) Eagles/Falcons (00:20:39 - 00:26:15) Steelers/Bills (00:26:15 - 00:33:45) Vikings/Bengals (00:33:45 - 00:41:44) 49ers/Lions (00:41:44 - 00:46:05) Cardinals/Titans (00:46:05 - 00:53:24) Seahawks/Colts (00:53:24 - 01:01:13) Chargers/WFT (01:01:13 - 01:10:17) Jets/Panthers ( 01:10:17 - 01:13:44) Jaguars/Texans (01:13:44 - 01:18:54) Browns/Chiefs (01:18:54 - 01:24:11) Dolphins/Patriots (01:24:11 - 01:28:42) Broncos/Giants (01:28:42 - 01:31:22) Packers/Saints (01:31:22 - 01:36:48) We finish up with Football Guy of the Week and Who's back of the Week.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, football is back. Week one, full recap. We're doing every single game. We're gonna talk about everything. We've got fastest two minutes to start.

We got a little football guy of the week has returned, Billy's gonna have that for us. We have little college football, little who's back of the week, an awesome, awesome show for you. Football is back. Get excited. And guess where you can get extra excited? Oh, yeah, that's Dave and Buster's. Dave and Buster's adds more winning to anything and everything from regular Friday nights

to first dates and especially to watching the game with the guys. It all gets more ding, ding, ding at DNB's. And this season, there's no better place to watch football than at Dave and Buster's because you get more of everything that makes game day so great. More screens. Dave and Buster's has 40 foot wide TV screens so you can get the best view of every game. Imagining the watching the game at a regular sports bar, not us. How about more food?

DNB's has new menu items exclusive to this football season, like the new chefcrafted Blue Moon pickles. More drinks. There's always drinks at Dave and Buster's. More space for friends. If you ever show up to a party and only find a standing room, not at Dave and Buster's. And we're putting it to a test this Thursday. Watch our live stream.

We're going to watch Washington football team play the New York Giants. You can watch us on all the part of my take social channels or on the Barstool Sports app. We're going to be watching the game. Watch us. We're going to have a great time. DNB's is the best. It truly is.

It is the best place to go in the world. So check it out. Dave and Buster's, DNB, they got more room. They got bigger TVs. They've got games. And you just feel awesome when you go to a Dave and Buster's. It is the greatest place in the world to watch a football game. So add more ding, ding, ding to your game day with more food, more drinks and more screen

only at Dave and Buster's. The greatest place on earth. Okay. Let's go. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Dave and Buster's, the greatest place in the world to watch football this fall. Check it out at DNB's.

Today is Monday, September 13 week one. We start in Western New York where the bills and Steelers clash in a battle of Super Bowl contenders. COVID is no different than Justin Average Cole as Beasley caught everything. Deontay Johnson and Johnson gave the Steelers a boost as big pharma Rockersburger threaded the needle to his wide receiver for a score. The game changed on a big play in the second half. And speaking of a hack getting blocked, no one is able to see Michael Rappaport's tweets

anymore. You fuck. Fuck. Here we go. Steelers. Here we go. Pittsburgh's going down to Super Bowl. Steelers 23, bills 16, some spread.

We head to Cincinnati versus Minnesota, two cities known for being very chilly as we mourn the passing of Joe Burrow, the giraffe. And in a touching tribute to our sweet prince, the human Joe Burrow had the zookeeper's playing neck as he connected with Jamar Chase for a hundred one yards and a touchdown. And I got in a feeling I was the first man in the end zone, but Minnesota came up short at seven minutes and Evan McPherson went into the closet with his sister, but didn't kiss her. Stopping us all from witnessing a tie to Michael's 27, the Vikings 24 to Nash Vegas where four

Chandler Jones trolled the Titans backfield all afternoon long with five sacks. Chris Kyler Murray delivered a kill shot with four touchdowns and over 300 yards. Kirk was a good Christian, unlike Ryan Satan Hill. As for the Titans offensive line, well, they had Taylor, what? Just wanted on the record. We're still for the boys. Cardinals 38, Titans 13, down the road to Atlanta as Jalen Hurts so good. Arthur Smith stinks.

We knew that he would cause Jalen Hurts so good. Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts was on fire Sunday, hitting his tight end. Zach, aren't so good. Yeah, baby. Make it art. So good. Arthur Smith stinks. We knew that he would cause Zach, aren't so good.

Javon Cougar Mellonkamp had two sacks and look at those bald Eagles fly. Ain't that America a little ditty about Matthew Ryan? Just American kid doing the past that he can. But it looks like the thrill of living is gone for the Falcons. Eagles 32, the Falcons six, two birds, two birds, two birds, one cup, one stone. In Detroit, trade Lance Bass came out onto the field when the offense wasn't in sync to throw his first career pass, which was also a touchdown. Tim Debo Samuel did his best impression of a Mets outfielder dropping an easy ball late

in the fourth, keeping the Lions hope for a win alive. Dan DeLion Campbell had his team fighting until the end, and we'll have to wait another week until we give him his tray flowers. Niners 41, Lions 33, Falco! In Indianapolis, where Olivia Rodrigo Blankenship said the kick is up, and it's good for you. Carson Wentz finally had his cast away, but still let Wilson get away as the first half MVP was added again with four touchdowns. Chris Carson had Pleat Carrel wearing his best pair of sideline cafes, and speaking

of straight lines, DK Metcalf ran a couple routes and scored a touchdown. Seahawks 28, the Colts 16. I'm going to have to tag you on that one too each. In Raul John, Justin Herbert Hoover sent Washington fans into a great depression as J.P. Morgan Chase Young isn't too big to fail after all. Terry Shiavo McLaurin showed signs of life, but Brandon Staley said, hey, can I borrow this outlet for my chargers? Too soon, boom.

Dying Fitzpatter, came his life alert after taking a fall and hurting his hip, and as a fan of football in general, let's hope he's okay. Chargers 20, Washington football team 16. Let me do that again. The San Diego Super Chargers 20, Washington football team 16. And we drive through Tuscaloosa North, where we'll take a Big Mac and two of cheeseburgers with some Admiral Nelson Aguilar, and don't worry, there might be a little dust on the waddle, but Brian Flores Jr. is getting sweeter with time, and speaking of time, Bill Belichick

starts his 47th straight season coaching in the NFL. 47 years ago, we both had airteeds. A lot more hair, boom. The student becomes a teacher as Flores and the Dolphins take down the hoodie, and let me be the first to wish Julian Edelman a happy Yom Kippur from the couch. As it was clear without him, the New England Patriots weren't fast enough. Dolphin 17, the Patriots 16. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola, such a fine sight to finally see.

He's finally back, leading the Saints attack, looking slim and throwing five TDs. You haven't learned your lesson, Rogers looks depressing. Your job's in jeopardy, answer in the form of a question. Packers three. And we finish in Kansas City, where you can find me in the chubb, battle for a dub. At two quarterbacks, makes 50 cent. Astro Glyde, Edwards Allaire, slipped through all the holes, and the Kool-Aid man Andy Read unleashed Chris Jonestown, and the Brown Special teams had Cleveland fans everywhere,

gilling themselves as they couldn't get a Guyana Chiefs receiver. Chiefs come back for a huge win, 33-29. Okay, week one in the books. All of our teams suck, except Jake, who is the best in the office. Again, his dolphins won. But if you are just tuning in for your first time with Pardon My Take in the NFL season, we are going to recap every single game. We're going to start with Sunday Night Football, then we're going to go back and go through

the entire slate. You can almost relive your Sunday afternoon with us. Yes, so Sunday Night Football. The Bears suck, man. They really suck. And I don't want to just sit here and just be like, man, they suck. And I hate Matt Nagy because I think people are probably just sick of hearing that. But I really don't have much more to say besides the Bears aren't good.

And Matt Nagy, I fucking hate you. Well, I can give you a spin zone. The Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl based off of tonight. Well, Rams look pretty good. Okay, they do. Matt Stafford, it was very refreshing to see Matt Stafford play on a competent team for a change. Yes. Except when he danced after he threw that first touchdown pass, that bomb down the field.

I've never seen Matt Stafford that happy. I don't know how to process it. Yes. It's almost like he's a rookie quarterback this year. We don't really know what Matt Stafford is. He's very happy. I thought the Rams looked good. I also thought the Bears defense is everything that I was worried about because I've talked

at length about the whole Matt Nagy, Justin Fields, Andy Dalton thing. It is what it is. I'm just going to sit here and watch him tickle us all and play just the tip with Justin Fields coming in every now and then to do like a shovel pass or he added a touchdown run, which was electric. That is what it is. I have been worried for a while. Oh, is that my computer? Yes.

I've been worried for a while that the defense was going to age and it was going to start looking bad. I don't know what happened in the secondary. I don't know what happened to Eddie Jackson, but there were plays in that game that looked like the Bears were a college football team where you're like, wait, is there a safety on the field? I don't. I can't tell if there is. So all my worst nightmares in that respect have come true. The Bears can never, ever have a good offense and a good defense at the same time.

It is actually impossible. So if Justin Fields becomes the guy, which I hope he does, of course, the defense is going to age the way it does. And basically have no pass for us, no secondary and everything falls apart. But if but if Justin Fields is good and he's able to use his feet and get around, they're going to eat up more time. So at least the defense won't be tired all the time. That's a bonus. There we go. I mean, if you you would rather, though, have one unit that's really, really good and one bad than just have two average units,

because then you just get confused and you don't know what's going to show up in a given week. Here's a crazy thing, PFT. And I think we both probably don't know what this looks like. But what about both being good? No, they can't happen. Right, right. That's meant for other teams that are competent. I don't know.

It would be cool. It's meant for teams like the New England Patriots to be able to do that. Big Cat, we are resigned to be rooting in perpetuity for the most frustrating NFL teams. None of that's going to change. I did enjoy elements of Justin Fields in an offense, especially in that first drive. When they put him in, I thought Matt Nagy was a genius for a second. For a second, I thought he was a genius. And he was saying, you know, like any Dalton is going to start week one, no matter what.

And then he'd turn the reins over Justin Fields halfway through the very first drive. Turns out Matt Nagy is just as dumb as we thought he was. If not more, because I actually think the dumbest thing that Matt Nagy did tonight was in the fourth quarter when they were down by, what were they down like seven, 13, 13, 20. I don't know. But they could have kicked a field goal. They're down 13. Kicked a field goal to make it a 10 point game at that at that time and said they went forward on fourth and 15.

Got a lot of plays in the playbook for fourth and 15 and then ran a route that took the receiver to like 13 yards. Correct. And then didn't bring Justin Fields in for the last drive when the game is already at hand and might as well get him some in game reps. It was galaxy brain shit because he said, I'm starting any Dalton. I'm going to piss everyone off. I'm starting Andy Dalton. We promises him the job in March. I don't care what anyone says.

Oh, I'm going to put Justin Fields in, but I'm also not going to let him get a rhythm. I'm also not going to really let him throw. He did throw once. He completed his first pass. I guess technically twice because there was the shovel pass as well, which was a throw. I'm not going to let him throw. I'm going to, I'm going to let him use his feet once with the touchdown. But I also am not going to use him in spots like fourth and four when Andy Dalton can't get a first down with his feet.

And Justin Fields would be the perfect guy to be in there. I'm going to use Andy Dalton. It again, he is the, the moment has always been too big for Matt Nagy. I really do think the double doink murdered his brain. The fact that he spent the next, you know, entire training camp practicing from the exact spot that the double doink happened from. That was the sign of a guy who like he, he just, he needs a, it's like Bill Murray and fucking what about Bob? He, he's the crazy one. He's the, you're the crazy guy, dude.

Like you, you can't figure this out. So whatever, Andy Dalton's a nice guy, Matt Nagy, it's fine. The Bears, there was a moment in the game where I was like, they're not as bad as I thought they were. And then they ended up losing by 20 points and they are just as bad as I thought they were. And again, the defense is going to be bad. I have something more important to talk about though. What, what does Chris Collins worth in Matt Nagy? What's going on there?

So I think it's just because Andy Dalton used to play for the Bengals. Is that it? I think that Chris has like a thing for a former Bengal that got away and he's openly rooting for Andy Dalton because he saw Andy Dalton bring competent quarterback play to the Bengals, which is a rare thing in Cincinnati. So I think Collins worth is now going out on a full limb. Collins worth's prep was so, what's the word, fastidious? Is that the SAT word on, on Andy Dalton? And he was so prepared to talk about Andy that he didn't even know what Matt Stafford's wife looked like.

Did you see that part? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris was like, all blondes look the same from behind to me. I don't know. I can't tell the part. It was where you can say Hank, it was crazy. Well, no, I was going to say you during the game, you were like upset at Chris Collins worth and you were like, find out what he did. Yeah, no, I made memes go find out.

I was like, find out how Chris Collins worth and Matt Nagy know each other. The only thing that made sense is the Cincinnati Cincinnati also Matt Nagy went on Chris Collins worth podcast and I like Chris Collins worth. But it was crazy how much he was supporting Matt Nagy's decision and being like Justin Fields doesn't know how to read a defense. Dude, he played at Ohio State. He played major, major college football. He's like not stupid. He knows, of course, there's rookie shit that he probably will make mistakes. Zach Wilson made some mistakes today.

I'd rather if our Jets fan, I'm happy that Zach Wilson was out there making those mistakes because he'll learn. It was just it blew my mind. I don't know what Chris Collins worth and Matt Nagy's relationship is, but it reminded me of and you guys might not remember this. But I think Bears fans will remember this. John Gruden on Monday Night Football. I think it was like 2013 or 14. Just completely shitting on Jay Cutler because John Gruden used to have Mark Trussman on his coaching staff and essentially just spending the entire broadcast being like Mark Trussman's trying his best. But the guys are, you know, his quarterback does not know what he's doing and just sitting there being like, what the fuck is going on?

Why can't you just call this how it is? Like Mark Trussman, not a great coach. And Matt Nagy, not starting Justin Fields, doesn't need an entire broadcast having someone defend him the way that Chris Collins worked it. Yeah. And if there's one thing that we will not stand for on the show, it's people that do a podcast being biased towards their guests. But admit it. We would never do anything like that. We admit our bias.

We admit. We admit it. We admit our bias. We're biased. We tell you when we're biased. We say when we're biased right now. So we're not on like we're not doing Sunday football. I think it's a little different.

I'm being biased right now in everything that I say. Yes. You should not listen to me and expect any sort of neutrality. I'm not Switzerland. Wait, but if if Chris Collins was his bias on his podcast, I don't give a fuck. That's his podcast. Right. This is a broadcast where he's like basically telling us where Justin Fields isn't able to start in this game and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

Yeah. The only thing that he was nutting over harder than Andy Dalton was that circle video board that they had. Yes. Just amazed by a circular television. And also the quote that he used for Sean McVeigh, which I'm not going to put on Collins Worth. I'm going to put on McVeigh where McVeigh said we love Jared Goff. He set up the Rams to be a franchise good enough that Matt Stafford would want to come here. That was the most brutal thing you can say about a guy.

It's essentially the meanest. It's the it's the it's the woman being like, yeah, my husband was so nice to me and he taught me how to learn. And how to find a new boyfriend that can give me great sex. Exactly. Yeah. Like a guy just being like this. Listen, my first wife got me to a place where I was comfortable and confident enough in myself. Yeah.

I could go ahead and hit on other chicks. Yeah. Like you got to her. She did a great job. We appreciate her time that she spent here. It's a girl breaking up with you and being like you taught me how to love and how to respect myself. Yeah. Listen, all the pictures that I put of us on Instagram together that made other girls be like, holy shit.

This guy this guy is nice enough and normal enough that he can have a girlfriend. Now I'm interested. Yeah. You taught me that I would like more than two inches. Yeah. Okay. So you taught me some great lessons that I need to that I need to to think of myself my own self worth as higher than I was when I was with you. Uh huh.

That's essentially what Sean McVeigh said. So it was a very hard. That hurt my feelings at her. I mean thing. I hope Jared Goff wasn't listening who played well today in the second half. But uh yeah. So that was the game sucks. The Bears are going to be bad this year.

I'm not going to let it affect me week in and week out. That's the one nice part is that I my expectations could not be lower so that you can't get hurt as much when you really don't expect anything. And guess what? What gets everything else but still in first place. I think the Gen Blossom said that if you don't expect too much for me, you might not be let down. Yeah. There we go. It makes sense.

I'm okay. So what I'm going to have with the Rams performance tonight because I think they played a pretty good all around game of football. They have too many captains on offense. Too many captains. They've got Whitworth on the line. Cooks, Cooper Cup and Matt Stafford are all captains. I don't like seeing all those C's out there. Also their their end zones too too many colors.

It is. Yeah. Like I like the idea. It's a throwback. It's cool. But it just it looks fake. The first three yards of the end zone or it's a yellow stripe that runs across the field. It makes it look like you're not even in the end zone.

Right. Right. I don't like sometimes teams do that the back of the end zone. Yeah. You think they're out of bounds. You think that you have to go further to get in than you really do. Yeah. No, but the Rams are really good.

That was that was two mismatched teams, two teams going in opposite directions. And that's what we got for Sunday football. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on to some other games. Oh, one last thing about the Bears game. That first that first like five minutes was so fucking funny how they ran the ball back. Nice run back.

David Montgomery. Who's awesome. I fucking love David Montgomery. He makes me happy. Then they get all the way down to like the four yard line and y'all throws an interception and then Matt Safford throws a bomb. And it was like game over four minutes into the game was a whole game. I was like, I'm out of breath.

I can't handle this. All right. Eagles Falcons Jalen Hertz might be the guy. And so so week one is a big like, Oh, we probably should have paid attention to this a little more. Nick Siriani. So my question is coming out of this game. Nick Siriani, good coach, Jalen Hertz, the guy, or did they just play the Falcons?

I think it's a little bit of both. Nick Siriani, by the way, knew that he was going to be on TV for the first time, like on a big broadcast. So he wore his most extra medium polo shirt that he had made him look like he was in good shape. He was strong as a coach because first impressions are everything for people like us that see you on TV. And if you look frumpy at all, that's what we have in our minds for you for the rest of

your career. Yeah. Siriani passed that first test. He got dressed using a mirror today, which is good. And then on the other hand, we had Arthur Smith. Just I think he said after the game, I sucked getting us ready for this game. So he pulled the old that's that's the Falcon style. I got to take a long look in the mirror myself and it starts with me.

Well, I do feel bad for Arthur Smith and the fact that I think the Falcons are just cursed. A totally new coaching staff, you know, Julio leaves, they draft Kyle Pitts. They still can't score in the red zone. They get they get six points. They drove down the field in their first two drives very easily scored six points total, basically did nothing the rest of the game. And I am at the point now where I officially I wanted on the record. I officially feel bad for Matt Ryan.

I feel bad for Matt Ryan, especially after watching what Matt Stafford got. Matt Stafford is like the middle aged puppy that got adopted. Matt Ryan is a slightly older puppy that might smell a little bit or not puppy dog. And no one's adopting him. And he's stuck there. He was like in a long term foster situation for about a year. Right. And he looked great.

And he would, you know, he had like a bushy tail, happy disposition. He was he was finishing his meals going outside at the appropriate times, not pissing in the house. And then the foster parent had to give him back. And they're like, we can't we can't handle this pup. I thought going into the season. They were good for a while. They were good for a while. But at this point, it's sad.

Like he's not. But he's the most sackable quarterback in the NFL. He can't move when they were good. He was they were still kind of bad in like weird ways. Yeah. No, they had a good run. Like he had a good run. He won an MVP.

I just never winning the Super Bowl twenty eight to three at this point. It feels I feel bad for him because it's like he's if you're going to play out the stretch in Atlanta, it's probably not going to get better before it gets good. Like their defense is bad there. I mean, their defense is really bad. Their offensive line is not good. And I don't know. I just feel bad for him.

Like he's clearly he's not the same guy he was when he won the MVP. I just feel bad. Well, it's sad to see quarterbacks. He's a really nice guy. And it's just not it's not. The Falcons are not going to be good this if you compare Matt Ryan to Matt Stafford. I would have agreed with you going in this season where if you found Matt Ryan a good home, like this year, I still would have agreed and said, yeah,

he can be a very, very good quarterback this year. But he just he doesn't look good just when he does have open guys to throw to. Yeah, I feel like the last two years, the last year and a half has really like sunk him down, has really defeated him. Yeah, this might this season is probably going to be. I would say that. Well, he's not in danger of getting benched because I think his backup is Josh Rosen, who looks like Aaron Rodgers.

He looks like heavy. Did you see that picture of him after the game? He looks still believe he looks like Aaron Rodgers. He looks like Aaron Rodgers got captured by ISIS. Yeah, being forced to believe it. Hold a newspaper up to his head. Still believe him. He's been on every team in the NFL so far.

He's going to keep getting chances. But I don't see Matt Ryan pulling it together this season. The Falcons being a good team because like there, I think they're leading rusher today was Cordero Patterson. Yeah, no, he gets he's dynamic anywhere he ends up. He just becomes the guy that you run every play for. By the way, I'm just going to push back on one thing. Josh Rosen doesn't get chances.

He gets chances without getting a chance. He gets chances. He doesn't actually get a chance. He gets a home. Yeah, he never gets an actual chance. He gets a locker. He gets passed around and then they're like, OK, you can be the third quarterback,

but you're not going to get a chance. And he's the kind of guy that will show up and get the third quarterback position. And then, you know, he won't get a chance to even get a rep in practice. They'll cut him with no reps. Yes. We signed him.

We cut him two days later. Jalen Hertz second touchdown pass. That was so we know that we always do this where if you see one play that you love of a guy or bad play, you can kind of just write how you think of him. Jalen Hertz, the way he moved up and to the right in the pocket for his second touchdown pass. Again, this might be just the Falcons being this bad,

but I was like, ooh, he's good. So I'm a believer in Jalen Hertz now. And I think I'm a believer in Devonte Smith. I think he's big enough to play in the NFL, putting to bed some of those concerns. Yes. Because like you got it first, you got to be able to jam the guy if you're going to jam him.

And he can just turns out you can just run away from a cornerback. Yeah. So he's fast enough to play in the NFL, even though he's what, like 170 pounds. Yeah. He's a skinny guy, but he's very, very good. Okay. The Falcons are going to be really bad.

It's going to be very sad. I said that a couple of weeks ago. I had a couple of people be like, oh, we're not going to be that bad. I think they're going to be really, really bad. Yeah. All right. Steelers, Bills. So it happens to be that TJ Watt actually is very, very good.

And they should have paid him all that money because he was fucking awesome. We also didn't talk about it because it was breaking news at the end of last Thursday's show. Adam Schefter writing a tweet that was just a TJ Watt writing the tweet. It read Steelers outside linebacker TJ Watt overruled his agents who believe they could get more money today, marched into the office of Steelers president Art Rooney and told them they had a deal. Then the NFL's new highest paid defensive player excused himself and

announced he had to go to work. He had to go work out. Well, go work out. Yeah. He had to go work out. That'll show him. We'll also work. Yeah.

You know what? Keep your money. I need to get in the gym. This is close to Schefter just being like TJ Watt signed a new contract. Then he went and rescued a kitten from a tree and an old lady who was tied to a rail track as a dastardly villain. Yeah. As a train came barreling down.

Yeah. Oh, and then he donated all his money. Oh, he then went and fixed my car. Thank you, TJ Watt. Yeah. TJ Watt got a record amount of money for a defensive player who has also donated one of his kidneys each year to a needy, alcoholic child. Yes.

Are Schefter and TJ Watt? They have the same agent? I would assume. Can you find that for me? I don't know, but I feel like... I would assume this was written by TJ Watt. I actually think this was written by JJ Watt. This has JJ's fingerprints all over.

Yes. It's crazy. And then, you know what? TJ Watt is getting dangerously close to getting it too much because announcers are always like, this guy, you know, TJ Watt, he gets it. He gets it. He understands what it means to be a pro. He gets it.

TJ gets it too much with this whole like declaring to the ownership, am I done signing my multi-million dollar contract? Yeah. Because I have to go to the gym now. I'm sorry that I have to do this paperwork, but I really got to go squat. Yeah. Please. All right.

So the Steelers defense is awesome. That was a big time like, oh yeah, they fell off last year, things happened. They got injuries. It sputtered out, but fuck, they're really good at defense. And Cam Hayward needs a lot of credit too because I feel like he's the unsung guy where we talk about TJ Watt a lot, but Cam Hayward is just, he just eats up space. And they, so the big thing with the Steelers is like, they just don't have to blitz. They just get pressure with four guys and they dominated the bills today defensively.

There was one really weird play. The fourth and one play that the bills ran, I think from the Steelers 40 yard line where Josh Allen dropped back. He turned around and then he threw it like overhand. You know how we talk about Josh Allen pressing all the buttons when he's getting sacked? This was actually, you do it in Madden all the time. When you accidentally throw a lateral with your quarterback behind the line of scrimmage and you just throw it as hard as you can to the guy that's directly behind you.

Yes. That's what the play call was for Josh Allen to like throw a fucking dart to the running back, staying right by him, who of course gets tackled for a loss in the backfield. That was a weird play call. That was very strange. It was very strange. The block punt, this is, he just loved when, you know, a coach who says, you know, it's a third of the game. You have 30 special teams.

Yeah. Special teams, but it actually did basically swing the entire game and the Steelers just, yeah, their defense suffocated the bills and I'm not worried about the bills. I do think we should stop as like a country. We should do the bills a favor and stop pumping them up so that the expectations, because I was, I was pumped for the bills. I was excited for the bills. But yeah, I think we should just leave the bills alone for a little bit.

It's a long season. 17 games. Let them do their thing. Let Josh Allen do his thing. Then we can revisit. But yeah, the Steelers and Big Ben, I do think he's lost too much weight. He got ragdolled by Jordan Poirier, who is like a hundred pounds lighter. So put it back on Big Ben.

But I think is Big Ben in his, let me ask you this, is Big Ben in his playmaker phase where he can just not be good and not throw it deep for three quarters. If he can just make a few big throws, which he did in the fourth quarter. I think Ben wins again. Ben's definitely in, just keep it close. Yeah. And then Ben will win the game for us. Right.

Make a couple throws. That's all you have to do. Yeah. Big Ben will make some throws when he counts. I agree. I think he looks, it's weird seeing Big Ben that light, because at least when he's fat, he's got an excuse of why he's so slow. Right.

And now it's just like, wow, he's slow and he's skinny. Like something's got to give here. Right. So trust me, I think by Halloween, he'll put that, you know what he needs to do. When's his birthday? I don't know. He needs, he needs. He needs to have another kid so he can put on, have an excuse to put on the sympathy

way. Yeah. Listen, I'm eating in sympathy for my wife right now. Yeah. Give me Big Ben's birthday, Jake. Big Ben's, Big Ben's birthday is anytime in the next three, three months, we'll get back to Big Big Ben. Um, but I agree.

I think the Steelers are good. March 2nd. March 2nd. Ah, shit. Well, it's almost as, what is half birthday? Half birthday. Yeah. Probably had.

It just passed 10 days ago. Oh, okay. Well, Christmas coming up Thanksgiving. What about it? There's kids birthdays because he'll have to eat cake for those. Yeah. He will have to eat cake. Yeah.

The, um, I do think Matt Canada, who's their new offensive coordinator will figure out a way to like kind of open up this Steelers offense, but it was weird watching the game and it, it just basically was going back to the beginning of last year where it was like the Steelers can't really do anything offensively, can't really run the ball. They ran the ball a little bit better, but they play unbelievable defense and Big Ben makes enough plays and it really was like, I don't think Josh Allen wasn't great, but it was just the defense was up his ass the entire game. And it's very weird seeing Emmanuel Sanders, who yes, he is a bill.

Yep. I think he's wearing number one now. Yeah. Really strange. And actually, you know what the weirdest thing is? I figured out today it's not when, um, like a cornerback or a linebacker wears like number 11 or number 13, uh, it's when a running back wears a single digit that is still fucking with my head.

I still can't. Yeah. Or tight end. Kyle Pitts wearing number eight. The guy catches a ball and they have number seven or eight. Yeah. I'm like, what is going on? Well, because that guy, he, that guy should be a gadget guy.

Yeah. The single digit guys are gadget guys. It should be a backup quarterback. You shouldn't be a starter, although it is a nice like life hack instead of just wearing like a black t-shirt. If you just wear a jersey with a number one on it, that makes you look skinnier too. Also remind me, I let my bias get the best of me, obviously, uh, because I do want the bills to do well, but remind me that anytime Mike Tomlin's ever a underdog, we just need

to auto bet him because he is. That's just what he does. Yeah. The bills haven't, the bills are used to being like nobody believes in us. Right. How are they going to manage the burden of expectations? That's why we got to lay off. You know what?

We got to lay off them so that they can get back to nobody believes in us. Josh, don't, don't listen to this. The same old bills, same old story as oldest time, they'll probably lose to the Patriots twice again this year. Who do the bills have? That's just how it is. Yeah. We just need to chill out with the bills.

That's all. I just thought about that because I was genuinely hyped to watch the bills and I thought, you know, they were going to be electric offensively. Again, it was a very tough start, you know, against a really, really good defense. So we just all need to collectively say, Hey, bills, go do your thing. And then we'll revisit when, you know, we've written out a ton of stories. All right. They're playing the golf at the dolphins next week.

And then that's a big game football team. That's a big game at the dolphins and they have the Texans. So that will be good. They're all big games. They're all big games. Any given Sunday. All right. Vikings, Bengals, Bengals win 27, 24.

The Bengals have the most Thai energy or franchise ever. Huge Thai energy. They're just always flirting with a Thai or tying. It would have been great to get a week one tie. Um, I, my biggest takeaway from this game though is I don't know how Vikings fans deal with it at this point because I am sick of watching Kirk Cousins and I have nothing to do with it. Thank you.

Yeah. I'm so sick of watching him play football. I really am. That is his right. His body, his choice. Yeah. I've had to watch Kirk Cousins spank it up for a long time and he's, he's the kind of quarterback that will have a couple of games this season where he'll look good and he'll

throw some very nice long completions. But Kirk Cousins is what Kirk Cousins has always been. And he's extremely frustrated and I can't imagine how you feel if you're paying him all that money to be like a top five quarterback in the NFL. And then he goes out there and he looks, I mean, at his best, he looks like Matt Stafford on, on like the worst steroids in the world. Well, the best part about like having, well, there's a lot of good parts of having this job, but one of them is that we get to sit and watch all the games on Sunday.

So we were watching this game and if you didn't watch this game and you just went and looked or you play fantasy and you saw that Kirk Cousins had 351 yards and two touchdowns, you're like, damn, Kirk Cousins. No, he stinks. He stinks. He doesn't throw the ball downfield at all. If you have a third and long, it's basically an auto punt. It's just, he's bad.

He had a 5.8 yards depth of target. No, I think he's bad at this point. I don't think he's bad, but he stinks. No, he's bad. He stinks. He's bad because of how much money he's taking up. Okay. Now he's officially bad.

Now that you can. He's taking resources from everyone else. He's, he's a breathing our air. He's a bad asset. Yeah. Right. Right. No, he's officially a bad asset.

If he, if he was paid, uh, two dollars, James money, two dollars, if he's paid James money, he would still stink, two dollars, but he wouldn't be bad. I'd pay him two dollars. Fun fact about the Bengals, the reason they give off big tie energy, they've never scored an offensive touchdown in overtime. Oh, wow. I love that. So say, I mean, overtime's a lot.

Say what you want about fat Randy, but you remember when he missed that kick last year, the root that he accidentally kicked inside the stadium that threw off his, remember, he looks down at the grass. They got rid of that route. Okay. And now they've got, what's his name? Evan McPherson. Yes.

He's a rookie kicker in his first overtime, getting carried off the field. Yeah. It was cool. And I, you know, the Bengals played well. It was great to see Joe Burrow out, out there. I did think at times like, why aren't they letting Joe Burrow throw it more? But they were running the ball really well. Joe Nixon was awesome.

He's good. And, uh, Zach Taylor had an all time just be right at the end moment because he basically blew the gate. He got them to overtime by blowing the game. It was, uh, he went for it on fourth and one on his own 30 with three minutes left in the third quarter up 14. It was, and it was essentially when we get to a point where we get so aggressive with analytics and it's like, always go for it on fourth down, never punt.

And you just lose all ability to take like time and space. The Bengals were dominating the Vikings. The game was essentially over. He gives a ball right back to them. They score game on. But then he redeems himself and the, uh, fourth and one where it looked like they were, they had Joe Burrow do a, uh, play action pass where everyone bit and he throws it deep in overtime to win the game.

That was genius. Well, I want to correct the narrative right now, because I'm glad that you brought that play up because I saw everybody online being like, what a play call by Zach Taylor, a lot of Randy Marsh gifts of him with a wheelbarrow and the nutsack going around town. That was Joe Burrow who checked out of that play and into the play that ended up getting them that massive gain. So he gets credit for going for fourth and one. He gets credit for putting Joe Burrow in a position to be Joe Burrow.

It was just, it's just crazy because it really, and we'll get to like the Dolphins Patriots game where the, the, the, the, uh, distinction between the difference between winning and losing is so razor thin that no one will really talk about Zach Taylor essentially almost losing him that game with that fourth and one call on his own 30 with three minutes left. When the game was, we were watching that game, it was on, it was, they were dominating that game. It was a bird brain move.

Yeah. It was crazy. We were saying in the moment, it was not revisionist history. We're saying, what the fuck are you doing? Like being aggressive is great. More coaches should be aggressive. That was just plain stupidity. Yeah.

No, that, that should be, we should do a part of my take like hollow brain move of the game for the week. And that was the hollow brain move. You will not forget about that move by Zach Taylor. No. That, you know what? I'm, I'm counting that as a loss in Zach Taylor's head coaching record. It counts as a win overall.

And for Joe Burrow counts as a dub. Also maybe Jamar Chase was just fucking with all of us because he was, he caught the ball fine. I actually think that he was. I think he was like, what's the dumbest sounding thing I can say? Well, uh, I can't, I can't catch the ball because it doesn't have the white stuff. What can I get Florio to blog? Yeah.

He's basically Jamar Chase. Come on the podcast. You and us were the same because you're just pranking Florio in a different way. Did you see Joe Burrow went up to the podium and he's like, I thought Jamar Chase drops everything. So that's the media. So this was a prank. Yeah.

And they, they pulled it off. Also the last 10 ties in NFL history, the Bengals have been part of four of them. Yeah. Tie energy. The most tieable franchise. Tie energy. I was rooting so hard for a tie too. They're like Mario Kart for, for football games, like even if they're way ahead, someone

will get a lightning or go for it on fourth and 30 and catch them at first place. They're like a really average soccer team. They're like the US men's national team. They're, uh, they're the Wolverhampton. There you go. They tie a lot of things. Okay. I love it.

Sure. Uh, one thing I'm a little bit concerned about Mike Zimmer looks like he put on maybe 40 pounds. Little chunky in the off season. That's okay. You think he's going to work it off? I think, I think he will during football season. He's like the opposite of big Ben where he's just going to live in his office and just subsist

on a diet of sunflower seeds and red man. If they, if, if he switches to like zero calorie red man, I think he'll drop 15 pounds within like five days. You also forgot that he, I think he has a new girlfriend. So he's good. He doesn't, you know what I mean? Yeah. He's 40.

When you're 40 pounds overweight, you still get laid. I'm saying Mike, Mike Zimmer. Good job. Uh, I'm so sick of Kirk Cousins. Sorry Vikings fans. I'm just so. Yeah, I know. I know.

I was just thinking about how much it must suck now because it really is that much, much, much money and he just, he sucks. So I've noticed that, you know, three years ago when I started laying real thick on the Kirk Cousins slander, there were a lot of Vikings fans that would defend him the last two years. I, they understand. You start to slowly realize the type of situation you're in with Kirk Cousins because you're right.

He does have those moments and the stat lines where it's like, yeah, he played like a, like the numbers say that he was, you know, a top 10 quarterback this weekend, but you see that enough and you're like, I'm not going to get fooled again by this. He's also it, if he, if everything is right around him, you can, you can sell yourself on it because like, if your defense is great and you have great wide receivers, you're like, okay, this could work because, you know, he's, he's more than competent in that setting. But when it's not exactly that setting, it's like, man, does he stink? Yeah.

Well, like we said, he's a, he's a bad asset. It's tough to have everything right around him when he's taking up such a huge percentage of the cap. And he gets paid a ton of money and he, he's, he doesn't elevate anyone's game. That's really what it comes down to. He did the great quarterbacks in the league elevate other people. He does not. The only player that he will elevate on the field is his tight end because like Kyle

Rudolph and he got a lot of touchdowns from Kirk Cousins throwing them really catchable balls, you know, inside the five yard line. But besides that, you're right. He doesn't, he doesn't make anybody better. Right. All right. 49ers, Lyons, uh, Trey Lance. QB to throw, uh, his first pass for a touchdown since Tim Tebow in 2010 company shout out

Tim Tebow. Uh, this game was a blowout and then Dan Campbell, they never quit that. That was the Lyons fighting them, which I love to see. We all kind of expected it that they wouldn't quit in games, but yeah, it was more like you'll look at this score and you'll say, Oh, the Lyons were kind of close there. Oh, did you get your bug? I tried clapping a fly. I missed.

To me, it was more that Kyle Shanahan's back, the 49ers have an offense back, guys are not injured anymore. Well, Jimmy G was pretty good. They had two injuries today, starting cornerback towards ACL and then most hurt his knee. They don't think it's an ACL. They can just roll out. Whoever you can get. I could run for 1500 yards.

Yeah. Kyle Shanahan offense. They, I think they were, I think their first seven possessions went, uh, Jimmy G fumbled and then they scored in the next six. Yeah. They were rolling, rolling, rolling. Everyone got a little bit of a scare because I think the 49ers week one this year was the most teased game in America history.

Everyone had the 49ers in a tease. So the Lyons almost ruined all of that. But yeah, it was more that the 49ers look awesome again in the Lyons. They didn't quit. But yeah, they're not, I mean, they don't have a great roster. I agree that, that Dan Campbell should probably just get a contract extension now for having the Lyons come back in this game for having a roster that's so badly outmatched compared to the 49ers and to be down that much and to come back and keep it competitive.

And yeah, they got an onside kick, but still like they did not quit. Good for them. Yep. I mean, I, I, I played well in the second half played really well in the second half and they had a running back who just got, uh, well, he definitely, he definitely did not kill a guy. Billy, did you find anything else about that? I said, you weren't here, but I said, as we're talking about DeAndre Swift, there was a weird

rumor online last week and my rule of life is if Billy believes something to be a hundred percent fact, it's almost always not true. No, no, no. The only things I was just instantiated that there was a picture of a police report. Yeah. Billy was like, I got the police report. Well, Billy, I literally came in the room and said, the report just came out and DeAndre Swift killed a guy.

Yeah. Well, I was asking if you guys knew anything because there was also a like actual news report of the events happening. So the event in the police report did actually happen. We should just do this though. Him and OJ confirmed running back and kill someone. Maybe it's the data. The data was the same.

The same night there was a murder, same place that was described in the report. Whenever there's like a rumor like this online, we just need to have you do a press conference and give your findings. And then we just do the opposite. Wouldn't it be great if Dan Campbell leaked that report just to make the 49ers afraid of him? Like, wow, we're going up against a guy that shot a dude. The report could have been photoshopped.

It could have. That's the one. We'll just say that. I'm saying that the report was definitely of a real shooting that occurred. We don't know if they put in the photo of DeAndre Swift was in it. It was just a picture of someone's computer. Right. So it could have been.

But that's actually harder to fake. A picture of a computer? No, because then you just do a photoshop and the photoshop doesn't look as fake because you're taking a picture of your computer. It's way easier. It's true. Okay. Either way.

Yeah. Credit to the Lions. You could try though, Bill. I don't want it to be true. Of course not. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, that's our job as journalists to look into this stuff.

The Lions fought, they fought their ass off. Listen, Billy, it's like my picks on sports advisors were one in five today, I think. One in five? Terrible. You can fade me. I don't have you around. So when news like this happens and you say, yo, he killed a guy, I'm like, all right, good.

Now I don't have to worry about it. Like, yeah, I don't have to drop him from my fantasy team. He definitely didn't kill a guy. Like it's good. That was their biggest win of the week is our running back is not a murder. Imagine if he did that we know he's going to have a great. I hope for you, Billy. I hope no one actually killed anybody.

Okay. All right, good. Anti-murder. I'm happy. Debo Samuel had a good game except for that fumble just because his name is awesome. Yeah. Debo like Debo Samuel. I'm terrified of a guy named Debo.

It's great. A million percent of the time. It's great. So all right. Next up, Cardinals, Titans, God damn it. Chandler Jones was incredible. Five sacks. The Cardinals whooped, whooped the Titans.

So there was, I saw a stat Chandler Jones is his second career game with four plus sacks and two force fumbles and he's the only player to do that in the last 20 years. So he basically just goes nuclear and no one can stop him. We are for the boys, but there were some boys that had bad games, but we are for the boys. Is Taylor focusing too much on podcasting? I don't know. More blocking. But we're for the boys.

Less talking. We're the, we are for the boys. We are for the boys. Yeah. For sure. That's not even a question. We are the biggest boys podcast. I also had a, have a confession to make.

I, I don't want to say I forgot because I think I just didn't realize that AJ Green was on the Cardinals. Yeah. Yeah. Just didn't realize it. AJ Green's on the Cardinals. Cardinals is on the Cardinals. He's still good.

Yup. He's still very good. And Rod Delmore is awesome and the Cardinals are loaded offensively. Kyler Murray looks taller than he did last year. When does the human body stop growing vertically? I don't know. Can you say 37 or 38? Billy.

I think it's 25. It's 21. 21. Okay. 21. Kyler looks taller. Or what it is? Maybe it's a smaller helmet, which would make the rest of his body look a little bit bigger.

But he is able to do things on the football field that I forgot how dynamic he is when he's running with the ball and he's at his best. I think when he's scrambling around buying time, getting ready to throw and much like Russell Wilson, he's always looking downfield to see where the guy is going to be cutting to because you can't cover a wide receiver for, you know, longer than three seconds at the time. So when he's just like, he's, I, I don't know if he's the fastest quarterback in the league.

He might not be the zero to 60 fastest, but I think he's the fastest going from 60 to zero. Oh, nice. Cutting on a dime. I think he stops really fast. So I think Lamar Jackson is probably the fastest. And I was thinking about this and this is a very, very big compliment I'm about to give Kyler Murray.

I think Kyler Murray, and again, I know Lamar, Lamar Jackson won the MVP. Incredible player. I think Kyler Murray is the most real life video game play like character since Michael Vic. When you watch him run around, you think it looks like if you had just made a creative player in a video game and made him 99 speed and just like every play you just did laps around the linemen trying to get guys open, like it's crazy watching him run in the back field.

He's not even running forward. It's just spinning and running backwards. He is Carson Wentz thinks that he's Kyler Murray. That's how he plays. But Kyler Murray is so fucking good and so special that yeah, I kind of forgot like watching him play today was incredible. I think he is the he's the human D pad, not the human joystick. He's like he's amazing to watch out there.

But you remember and you know, I think he's actually, at least in this game, he looks like he's gotten better as a passer. Yes. But you remember when remember when Michael Vic like came on the scene and he was the video. I mean, first at Virginia Tech, then the Falcons mad in 2004 playing with him in Madden was incredible. It was like Michael Vic is a cheat code.

This is awesome. And his real life was essentially like playing a video game because he would do runs. You're like, that's a video game run. Kyler Murray is the first guy like that where it's like, what the fuck? How is he running? He ran one today where he ran like backwards 20 yards and no one even came close to touching it. And then he ran forwards 10 yards and threw the ball down the field.

Yeah. You know, he's he's a lot of fun to watch. I do think it's interesting that Chandler Jones had this game, a career game, right when JJ Watt gets into the locker room. Maybe they're sharing supplements. Hmm. I don't know. Interesting.

Saiko and McGuire shared supplements too before McGuire went on that terror. Interesting. By the way, I think not saying I'm not making any accusations. You're just a fact that JJ Watt is now in the same locker room. That's true that he is just a locker room is Chandler Jones or JJ Watts getting all the double teams. Oh, nice. There you go.

Yeah. Freeing up the rest of the guys. I Mike Vrabel definitely strikes me as a bury the football guy. This would be a good bury the football game. Hmm. Just like week one didn't happen. We're moving on. Let's fucking pretend this just just bury the football, have a funeral for a football.

We literally bury a football on a week two. I could see him instead of lighting the film on fire, just lighting the film room on fire. Yeah. Just like throwing a couple of M80s into the film room. Something literal needs to happen. Taping it off with like caution tape. We're not going into that room whenever that environment wasn't there. That's radio.

That's Chernobyl. We don't go into that room anymore. We're getting a new film room from now on. He is. I want to give a little bit of credit to Billy football for his Derek Henry take that he came out with a year, year and a half ago whenever that was actually genius. It is genius that Derek Henry is not a good short yardage back because he's just too big. He's too tall.

Right. His legs are too long. His legs are too long. I kind of agree with. I don't know if it's necessarily just his legs, but we know that Mike Vrabel respects mass more than anything. He just likes big dudes on his team and there's just more of him to tackle. Yeah.

Also, it takes him longer to accelerate because legs are so long. That's how JJ Watt catches him in the backfield in those situations. We watched it. There was a first and goal and they ran it two or three times and he got tripped up in the backfield. There's like just. Their offensive line was also had an all time bad day, but yes, I agree with your take. Just a certain play when he's running in between the tackles because when he goes out on stretches,

he gets those yards. Right. It's just him in space. Yeah, because he can run horizontally for a few yards, build up that head of steam and then make that cut and deliver a stiff arm from hell. Right. When he gets the ball in the backfield, he does take like a gather step almost. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So the Titans throw it out Cardinals. Who knows? This could be. I do have the take that Cliff Kingsbury could be on the hot seat this this year and I actually think that this hot dude this will this performance actually solidifies my take that the Cardinals have so much offensive firepower now like the fact they've run down more who was electric

at Purdue and A.J. Green and Christian Kirk and Deandre Hopkins who it feels like Deandre Hopkins is doing a, it feels like he's on a, you guys all forgot about me tour the like the last year and a half where it's like, you guys forgot I'm one of the best players in the NFL. So yeah, I think they are going to be very good and if they're not, I'm going to blame Cliff Kingsbury. Well, I think that's fair. The offense did look shitty in it.

It wasn't just the blocking. It wasn't just the offensive line, which was definitely a problem. But they, they look totally out of sync. That's a new offensive coordinator that they have because Arthur Smith got hired for the Falcons. And so I don't know, is this a regression year for Ryan Tannehill? I've been very wrong about Ryan Tannehill for the last two years. You're Max Kellerman.

I am. I am. But if I, if I keep saying it, I'll eventually be right. You absolutely. I mean, he, he, he has to yes or retire at some point, right? Right. All right. Seahawks Colts.

This is, I'm going to throw my hand up again. There's a lot of storylines going into this season. I do think that we kind of just forgot about the Seahawks and Russell Wilson. Obviously it's, you know, first half of the season, Russell Wilson, Russell Wilson almost Russell Wilson got cucked on his own. I'm discontent. I want to get out of my, my city by Aaron Rogers. Like he wasn't even the, he didn't even get to win that this off season, but the Seahawks

looked awesome. They kind of took their foot off the gas towards the end, but he was, Russell Wilson was out of this world. Like he was hitting the deep balls. He had four touchdowns. He only had a few incompletions. He was incredible. They have the new offensive coordinator.

Maybe they finally figured out the perfect mix and match of run pass Shane Waldron, because Chris Carson had a good game, but they were also throwing the ball. And yeah, I don't know the Colts, the Colts are the weirdest team because I feel like we've been talking about the Colts roster. Like Chris Ballard has won a million awards and it, where is it? Well it's because everything around the middle of their offense and defense is really good. Like their linebackers are really good. Their offensive line is really good.

But their offensive line kind of gotten, the Seahawks, the weird, the, the crazy thing about this game is the Seahawks might have a defense again. They might. Like their defensive line was very good. Still pretty early to say that. Yeah. No, of course. But the Colts offensive line is very good.

With the Seahawks, we're still grading on a scale for the last couple of years because they've been like awful, like really bad defensively. But if they can be decent, I might, I might have been too soon to label them frauds. But again, it's against the Colts right now. And Jim Erse actually needs to take some credit for it because he tweeted out that the roof would be closed. Okay. That was his decision.

Yep. And then he had people responding to him pointing out that there are 152 sunny days a year in Seattle and in Indianapolis, there are 186 sunny days per year. So it actually would have been to their advantage to close the roof. Got it. Mr. Erse said, he acknowledged it. He said, yeah, I got to love my roof announcements. Thank you for pointing this out.

Um, Erse can always take the blame for this. Yeah. Be like, this is my fault. I roofied myself. Yes, exactly. Um, I, I am thankfully, I am finally cured of my, Carson Wentz might still be good disease. Oh yeah. So I'm done with that, which is nice because it did cost me a lot of money last year where

I was like, he's got it. That guy, I saw him 2000, what, seven, 18, 17, whatever it was. He was awesome. He was MVP candidate. That's why I bet on him. I'm cured. That's why I bet on him. Yeah.

Because I'm cured. I am not cured yet. I still think he can cure it. Oh, you've been on the Colts today? Yeah. I think you've been on the Seahawks. No, I bet on the Colts. I, I'm still very much in the middle of thinking.

I said on Friday's show that I have the mindset that every Philadelphia Eagles fan had until they traded them, which is we can put this all together eventually, Carson Wentz. I still think that they can. I'm cured. Thankfully. That's where I know that I'm wrong to think that. Yeah. But I still think it.

So you need to. There's got to be a German word for that. I just woke up one day and I was like, he sucks. So you, hopefully that happens. Just enlighten me. Yeah. No. It'll be like Nirvana.

I'll just like wake up one day and it'll be a new, a changed person. I remember. I bet him a bunch of times last year being like, oh, Carson Wentz, the Eagles, they're going to fight. And then for some reason today I woke up or it was actually probably a couple of months ago. I was like, Carson Wentz is not good. I can't wait for that moment when I wake up.

Right. It's freeing. You know, like when people are struggling to get over a breakup and somebody tells them, one day you wake up and you just won't miss her anymore. Yeah. That's what I'm, I'm hoping for that day with myself and Carson Wentz. I don't even look at his Instagram anymore. I hope not.

Yep. I'm sick of seeing all those fucking dead ducks. Uh-huh. Um, yeah, but we did forget about the Seahawks. So apologies to fucking NFC West is so loaded. Also we should have known better than to bet against Pete Carroll the day after 9 11. True. He's been, he's been up for days just doing his research.

Yes. He's, yeah. He's wired. Yeah. Right now. He's, he is definitely wired. Can the entire NFC West make the playoffs? Is that, is that the thing we're going to say?

You think Pete Carroll ever like watches loose change and he throws a challenge flag at his screen? Yeah. Probably. Can we get a review? Yeah. Please. It looked like thermite.

Go back to the booth here. I don't believe this. I didn't see a point. Did you see? God damn it. The internet's actually the worst. There was like people calling viral on September 11th being like, I don't see any planes and it was just a reverse angle.

Are we really stupid? Yeah. But we are. We are. We are. We are definitely are. We are absolutely the stupid. All right.

P.F. What? I was just going to say people think that like still just a missile hit the Pentagon. Yeah. When hundreds of people. Yeah. Were driving on the road and saw. Yes.

Yeah. We are definitely that stupid. All right. Sorry for forgetting about the Seahawks. They're a guy from their pick from last year, I want to say Daryl Taylor, their pass rusher from Tennessee who got hurt. He was in the he played today and is good. So that's why I'm starting to think, oh, okay, bonus pick.

Like if you're, if you're guy, if you pick someone, he gets hurt and then he comes back. That's a bonus draft pick. You got another first rounder. Right. I don't know if he's, he might have been a second rounder, but either way, I think the Seahawks will see, but the Colts obviously have an offensive line that everyone raves about. So I'm, I'm thinking maybe they have a defense again, but again, it's Russell Wilson, first

half of the, we got to wait till Monday night football and someone says Russell Wilson's never gotten MVP vote. And then that's when we start. Pete Carroll is going to vote in him for MVP. Yes. Pete Prisco. What'd I say? Pete Carroll.

Pete Carroll also. That's okay. All right. So, uh, you have a word from our great sunglass sponsor and PFT is going to possibly take off his sunglasses, uh, not this Thursday, but the following Thursday when we do a stream a thong. So go subscribe. I think it's more than a stream a thong big.

I think it's a sub a thong. It's a sub a thong. You're right. We're going to eat a sub. Billy's going to eat an entire party sub. We're going to get the biggest sub that we can find. Chicken parm. Chicken.

Billy wants chicken parm. And I think we have 25,000 subscribers left to go. Yep. I'll lower the shady rays one last time. I'll put them back on, but I'll lower them at least one time. Um, but we're going to be doing that sub and I'm going to be wearing my shady rays. Shady rays are my favorite sunglasses in the entire world. I'm wearing them right now.

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Season's over. So, Ryan Fitzpatrick hurt his hip, which is not good for a man his age. Usually when someone hurts their hip, we put him in a retirement home. I don't think that's going to happen for Ryan Fitzpatrick, but he's got hip dysplasia. Like an old Labrador. Yeah. That's why you don't throw a tennis ball to your lap. Right.

You got it. You got to keep them on a pitch count for sure. Right. I'm a little bit concerned. PFT is so concerned. So it was, he went through the range of emotions when, when it happened. He said, well, he's questionable to return. I was like, dude, like they throw the questionable on just, just so that people can feel okay

for a second. You were like, no, because I, I look at it in my terms where like, I'm questionable to wake up every day. Right. You were like, he's questionable to return. I was like, I don't think he's coming back in the game. And then an hour after the game, PFT was like eating in the other room and comes back into the TV spot.

And he's like, and we've got an update on Fitzpatrick and we all were like, what? No. I need it. I'm watching games. We don't care. All right. So first of all, it's not, it's never a good sign before the game when your stadium is literally leaking sewage onto all the fans, which is a great metaphor for what it's been

like to watch that team for the most part for the last 30 years. But no, they were just dumping shit onto the fans that were in the stands. Not a good start, not a good omen for the season, but still it's Fitzpatrick. He'll be good. He'll, he'll figure out a way to make some magic happen. So I feel more Rob that if this is, if he's hurt and out for the season, I didn't get a dose of Fitzpatrick. I know.

I got like one half. If that, like a quarter. I feel bad for you as well. Patrick. I wanted more. I feel like the strength of our team is our defensive line and our defensive line sucked today. They were not home.

They were not good. They get out of the staff. Chase young. Well, I'm going to tell you real quick. Five pressures. Five pressures when rushing for chase young was off the field on one of the most important third and longs of the game. I don't know what was going on in that moment.

Tired. Chase young. You should probably be on the field in a passing situation to try to get the ball back and have your team win the game. Don't know what was happening. Again, I still think that Montez sweats good. I think that they've got enough talent. I don't know if the scheme was different or whatever it was today.

It's week one. Also the chargers. I have them winning that division. Yeah. I have the chargers as one of my best teams in the NFL this year. So yeah, it was against a very good team. Catch of the year too. Catch of the year.

For what? Who? The football team. So the catch of the overhand catch in the sidelines. No. Through the chargers, players with hands. No. Oh, I did see that.

Who caught it? Terry. Yes. Yes. It was sick. Yeah. Yeah. Catch of the year.

Terry McClourn is still very, very good. I actually, I looked it up. Ryan Fitzpatrick has a hip subluxation. I don't know what that is, but I did ask Billy to look up with all the doctors. We want Billy. We want Billy to be our injury expert on the show. Yes. And crime expert.

But mostly, like for actual football analysis, I think you could do a good job being our pro football, what? Pro football doc. Yeah. And Bubba said we should call him bro football doc. Yes. I think that's good. So what?

Rub some dirt on it. What do you have for us on Ryan Fitzpatrick? Can I just say one thing before you start with your job as bro football doc? Any rib injuries? I'd like to take care of. Yes. Okay. So subluxation is not dislocation, but it's kind of halfway.

So you got like the hip halfway out of the hip joint and I feel like that's being halfway pregnant. Either your hips hurts and so the part I couldn't really find is like is it just hanging there halfway? Does it pop back in? Can you pop it back in? Popping it back in would probably be the move, but I don't think that's like the medicine. The doctors, it's always a good thing when the doctors like, I think it's probably the

move to get your hip back into it. That'd be clutch if we could do that. That sounds bad. But when he was walking off the field, he gave us a thumbs up. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. There we go.

That's the kind of analysis I wanted. He gave a thumbs up. If you give a thumbs up, you're fine. No one who's ever, ever been like severely injured has given a thumbs up. Never. He seemed pretty chill about it. He did seem pretty chill about it. Pretty chill.

Actually, Bill, you should not, don't call yourself a doctor. Call yourself a medic. Yeah. Field medic. It was just very sweet though, because when you came in, PFT were like, anyone got a Fitzpatrick update. It was like, as if like, like Patrick Mahomes or Aaron Rodgers had, had like torn their knee and it was like going to be the, the leading story when they cut him with Terry

Bradshaw. It's like, well, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. So one, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. Not a bad thing. And two, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. He'll probably be back because it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yeah. He gets injured and then it comes back all the time.

It's funny you mentioned that like you thought that's what was going through my brain because for a second, I got mad because we always get a storyline in week one. If there's some significant injuries, there's always like that pre-Sunday night football moment where like Florio is talking with, I guess in this case, it'd be Maria Taylor and I don't know, usually Jack Collins worth. And they're like, and the story this year is all, it was injury Sunday, it was Black Sunday and the NFL has superstars across the league went down and succumbed to various like leg injuries.

I was like, why is nobody talking about what a tragic day this is in the NFL? Because Ryan Fitzpatrick got hurt when you said that I realized it's it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. I think Marty Bush was even like, why would we fucking care? Yeah, I care a little bit because I do like Ryan Fitzpatrick and I care about you. But yeah, it was, I don't think it's leading any search, but I hope he's back. I hope he's back. I hope he gets better because I also want to see Ryan Fitzpatrick out there. And Taylor Heinecke is a perfectly fine quarterback, but I'm always like, you never see any great

quarterbacks with arm tattoos, yeah, like arm sleeves. I'm trying to think, which tells me like he's a good backup to have to keep things feisty. Arms sleeve quarterback. Yeah, I don't. I can't think of any. Chad Kelly probably has a couple either. Manzell, Michael, why are you whispering? Michael, it's OK to say the name.

Michael Vick. I've already said Michael Vick in this podcast. The let's talk about the charges real quick. I this is a game. I don't want to say this is going to be mean. This is a game that Phil Rivers Chargers loose. And that is the nicest thing I can say about Brandon Staley and Justin Herbert, because like, think about it, one score game, they get the ball.

Like the most impressive thing that Justin Herbert did today is they get the ball with 643 left on their own 18 and the Washington football team never gets the ball again. They had four, third down conversions, third and 16, third and seven, third and four, like all over the place. He made the big throws when he needed to. And that feels like a game that Phil Rivers would have not gotten the first first down. Washington football team would score a touchdown. They would have him trying to score late in the fourth quarter.

But that was like a clinical. Justin Herbert, you can trust him. I feel like that's the next level of maturity for a quarterback is not like the the wow plays. It's if you get a chance to ice a game. Can you ice the game? He's not going to fuck everything up for you. You're right. He iced the game. He didn't let you get the ball back.

He was he was methodical. He made the throws when he needed to. And I yeah, he's really fucking good. And this is a game the chart, the old chargers, those chargers would have lost to these chargers. Yeah, these these chargers are a lot better. And with Phil River, it's not just about like his quarterback play. It's just his whole his old aura on the sidelines. Just if he's on your team, weird shit's going to happen.

Right. It's it's just it's like a a multiplying effect where your defense is going to give up like the dumbest penalty ever where you hit a quarterback five seconds after they throw a pass and you think that you're getting off the field on third and long. Correct. And they just like take out their knee. Right. That's what happens to Philip River's lead team for whatever reason. Not indictment on Philip River's. It's just a fact. Yeah, that's what goes down.

Justin Herbert is awesome. And the chargers are run like that. I just thought of that when I was watching that game. I was like, this is a game that the old chargers would have found a way to lose on the road all the way across the country. First game of the season and they want. So that's a great, great sign for Brandon Steeley and Justin Herbert. Mm hmm. All right.

Season's over. That's all right. Join me. Season's over. It's great. Yeah, it does. It was pretty much the worst start for the Washington football team in the fact that you guys aren't playing pram time anytime soon. Yes. Yeah. Good point. They lost the first game.

The Cowboys probably aren't as bad as we thought. And also the Eagles are somehow like this is this is just the NFC East in a nutshell. Like Jalen Hurts somehow winning the NFC East this year would be perfectly NFC East. I think this Thursday I'm about to slap a can't lose on it. Oh, wow. Not a not a must win yet. Yeah. But like you can't lose this game if you if you want to be in contention. You can't. You can't.

All right. Jets Panthers will go quick with this one. I mean, this was a reminder that Christian McCaffrey is fucking incredible because he was hurt and they played three games last year. He had 21 rushes for 98 yards nine catches for 89 yards. Basically does it all. And then also Zach Wilson looking OK. Bad but also good. I think he looked he looked fine. Right. Like he looked like a rookie quarterback.

He looked fine. He didn't do anything that made me be like I didn't slap the bust label on him. And I believe you me when I'm watching rookie quarterbacks in week one. Ready to do their first year. I have a Trevor Lawrence. Yes, please. Because it's funny you say that I have one note for that game. Trevor Lawrence all capitals bust. Yeah, but no, but Zach Wilson made he had a couple of nice drives at the end of the game.

What do you think, Billy? Billy was wearing his Zach Wilson jersey. He also is getting duped by replays a couple of times. You're all preseason or not preseason. It's all week one for us because I watching the games today around three o'clock. I was spent like I physically was spent. We need to get back in game. She knew set up to.

Yep. Yep. But I think he looked like Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Wow, really? Wait, which Super Bowl the last one? OK, OK. So his offensive line sucks, but he was making plays. Yeah, I don't hate that. I mean, I think if they had more game, they would have won.

They ran out of time. Yeah, I love it. Mcky Beckton got hurt today, was taken off the field on a cart. He was crying. He had the like towel over his head. It looked real bad. Turns out they're saying it's just a sprained MCL. Yeah, so he can come back.

But he did not give the thumbs up. He was giving a thumbs down as he was going off. Turns out that he's OK. Yeah, he was crying. Yeah, he was crying. Also, this is maybe the most hilarious next gen stat I've ever seen. So, you know, like how they always just like to throw out. And who does the next gen stats God creates them?

Either way, next gen stat from this game. Sam Darnold went a career high two for six for 62 yards and in a touchdown on deep passes. OK. A career high two for six and 62 yards in a touchdown on deep passes. That that's that is a next gen insult. What he is he insults that he's Mr. two for six because he also had two completions for six yards

to his namesake, Dan Arnold. Oh, at tight end. That's all that's always weird when they're like, Sam, Sam Darnold to Dan Arnold. Yeah, that's a mouthful. I have a while to get the Texans fans had a sign. Don't need to Sean Sean. That's so and you can tell that that's a sign that they wrote after they got in the game and saw how the game.

Yeah, no, yes, they didn't write it beforehand. They were not. They didn't go into this game thinking they don't need to Sean Watson. Yes, yes. But that's yeah, they made that on the fly. So all right to them. I had two other things about the Carolina New York game. One, Sam Darnold just kind of looks like Jake DeLome when he's in there. Just body type. Yep. Head structure like similar quarterbacks.

Number two, it should be illegal for the linebackers to change their numbers right before the game. They swapped numbers. Yeah, two linebackers agreed. Agreed. These guys spend too long watching film game playing for this to have you switch up the numbers on this last second. Yep. Also, their new turf looks awesome. It does. Oh, it was totally new.

Also, there's a giant panther that attacked the field. Yeah, I saw that. I hope everyone's OK. Somehow they they got their heads down. They were able to play a game of football after a giant robotic panther slaughtered thousands. Yes, that was very scary, very scary moment. All right, Jaguar's Texans.

So for let's give the Texans credit. Hey, it's got up for the Texans. It's got up for the Prisco actually nailed it on Friday's show. By the way, I think I saw some people saying that where's Warren Sharp, Warren Sharp. We're going to try to get him on later this year. I the problem is he does have a podcast with the competing betting company. So we love Warren Sharp.

All good. We fucking love him. I talked to him about it. We're going to try to figure out a way. No bad feelings or anything like that. We truly like him friends with them. Everything is just, you know, when we're pushing out new states and we're trying to we're in a very competitive business. All right. So Jaguar's Texans, Pete Prisco.

What I was going to say, Pete Prisco nailed it. When he was like the Texans, they've got a lot of professionals. Hey, listen, I forgot. Lovey Smith was a defensive coordinator. They got a lot of professionals. They play, you know, professional football. That's what you got to say. These guys, they get paid to play, too.

Yep. OK, on Sundays, tape out there. They are there. They have pride in their jobs. So David Coley, good job. Great job. Tyrone Taylor, good job. Tarot, Tarot, Taylor, good job. Both of you, good job. And I actually think that Tarot is the best quarterback ever that you can have on a shitty team. Yeah.

He's that's that's your guy. If you have a bad football team, get Tarot in there. He'll win you a couple of games that you shouldn't. Yeah, he won't be that great, but everyone expects you to lose anyways. That also might be your guy, but yeah. What, Fitzpatrick? Yeah. True. Just describe Fitzpatrick.

Well, imagine imagine rooting for Tarot Taylor and the Texans this year, and then he gets hurt right off the bat. Come in, he could make some fucking place. Listen, I I feel I feel for Texans fans because they they were the butt of every joke made by us, including going into the season. But Tarot is that he's a he's a nice quarterback. Dad, he's a professional quarterback.

He is a he is a professional. And he's the guy. He's the what do you call it? There was a movie about like a bad look. Was it bad? Good luck, Chuck, or some? The guy that you date before you find your next guy. The Jair Gough. Jair Gough. Yeah. That's what Tarot Taylor is. Got it. Got it.

When you you're looking for a quarterback in the future. Yes. If you have to ride on your team, the next guy up like last year, people forget. Tarot Taylor is twelve months removed from like getting stabbed in the ribs by a needle. Yes, which gave Justin Herbert his first start. Correct. Ever. Excuse me. Stabbed in the lung.

And then before that, he was on the Browns. Yes. Where Baker Mayfield took over. So maybe whoever the Texans get in next, maybe he's the guy. Yeah. By the way, that's your golf. That was Chris Collinsworth and Sean McVeigh. Not me. I love Jared. Yeah. So Trevor Lawrence. Let's actually I'm actually not on the Trevor Lawrence is a puss.

I'm in the camp of the Jaguars are going to ruin Trevor Lawrence and starts with Urban Meyer. Urban Meyer, eleven penalties, three turnovers and Urban Meyer. Remember how in the Trevor Lawrence didn't look good. He looked bad, right? Bust. Bust. In your mind. Again, I think it's the Jaguars. I'm more of the mindset that it's it's fun to say that Trevor Lawrence is a bust. He had three turns.

He had three interceptions. He never had three interceptions of Clemson. Never faced adversity of Clemson. First regular season loss of his life. Wow. High school and college. Wow. But my point is Urban Meyer, you spent all of training camp splitting reps between Trevor Lawrence and Gardner Minshew to pretend that Gardner Minshew had a shot at the job.

Maybe you should have given the guy that was going to start all along. You're fucking franchise quarterback that you went one one pick with. Maybe you should have given him more reps. And maybe you should have had your team ready to play. I this Urban Meyer thing. I don't know. Yeah, they were bad. They were bad. They looked bad. They looked undisciplined and I we've heard the reports that people are like,

yeah, it kind of sucks to have to play for a guy like Urban Meyer in pro. So who knows before the game started, Jason Lackin for it is Jason Lackin for. So as far as like trust wise goes, he's like one step above your uncle on Facebook. Right. He came out with a report that said one step below your aunt. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, the stuff that they get into a fight. I trust my aunt more than I trust Jason Lackin for, but I trust him more than I trust my uncle.

So he came out with a report that said Urban Meyer is everyone on edge and that the vibes around the Jacksonville facility are at an all time low before the season even starts, before week one and that everyone hates him already. I believe I choose to believe it again, because it's fun to believe that it's true. But that report is definitely out there. I could see like there people were talking about how Urban Meyer was freaking out over preseason loss and probably already sleeping at the facility. Yeah. And probably already like crews.

He's at least typed in WebMD into his browser. He's done the husband might not have hit enter on it yet, but he's typed. He did hustle and hydrate in practice, which is always fun to tell professionals that are making millions of dollars that they need to drink water and hydrate to go drink water. That's what ship Kelly's downfall was. He was checking the piss of professional players. He can go back to UCLA and look at all the urine he wants.

Yeah. All right. Let's go to the afternoon slate. Brown's chiefs. So we got four more games and we'll get to the rest of the who's back and football guy the week and send you on your way. Brown's chiefs. Browns have won one week one game since 1999. They're 121 and one. Patrick Holmes now 11 and 0 in September. This was an inevitable outcome.

The Browns looked good. They looked really good, actually. They had a great game plan. It's just Patrick Holmes and I thought about it. It must be so fucking awesome to root for Patrick Holmes and root for the chiefs and have him as your quarterback. And I know that there's obviously like Hank can speak to it, you know, rooting for Tom Brady, there's, you know, Packers fans, I'm sure love rooting

for Aaron Rodgers at times when he's not being surly. But there's something about Patrick Holmes where we all just we've seen it so many times now that oh, we're down nine points. OK, well, why don't we just do a 75 year touchdown past the Tyree kill? Yeah, like it just you just know that you are never out of it. And you're not only never out of it in like the way that Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, you're never out of it where they can do a big drive.

You're never out of it and you're never out of it by like one play. Yeah, I think it's just always there. I think the chiefs have the offense that can score the most points in NFL history and the time that it takes you to go to the bathroom and take a shit during the third quarter and come back and then be like, what the hell happened here? They are the the joke that people use on like Twitter, like run the touchdown play. They actually do run the touchdown.

So it's funny that that you say the run the touchdown play thing, because I think that the chiefs are the easiest team in the league to live tweet their games, not watching their games and just be like as basic as possible. So all you have to do is just do like Patrick Mahomes, still good. Like Tyreek Hill, you are ridiculous. Tyreek Hill, deuces, deuces. Yeah, Travis Kelsey, Beast. This lead is safe, said no one ever.

Thanks for coming out chiefs. Yeah, exactly. You can get you can get which I did use because I needed them for the Can't lose parlay, which did win plus 300. No big deal. You can get super basic with the chiefs because it does happen weekend and week out where it's just you can set your watch if they haven't run the touchdown play in the first quarter, they'll run it in the second quarter.

I know this is a cell phone because they were like, well, the bear could have had cell phone cell phone cell phone. I know this is a cell phone because I'm like, oh, you got that's a computer. Could have had them on could have had on the bears. I don't care. I'm at the point now because now that we're we're moved on to the next quarterback after I just like watching them play and I'm sitting there being like, man, it must be so awesome to be a chiefs fan and I'm sure there'll be

chiefs fans that will reply to us tomorrow and be like, yep, it is. But God damn it. That 75 yard touchdown, obviously the punt kind of, you know, that was really the play that that that changed the game officially. But that they're down 29 20, 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter. And like, all right, let's run the touchdown play. Tyree Kale, 75 year touchdown, easy. And speaking of that punt, that's why you don't want to jacked up punter.

Yeah, you never want to jacked up kicker or punter because if they lift enough weights, they start to think that they're a football player and they start to think that they can run with the ball for a first down. Yep. And Jamie Gillam, like that was first of all, it was just a botched. He's Scottish. He's Scottish. The Scottish Hammer.

And don't trust him. No trust me. He's too strong. And he put, you know what, it's not just that he's strong. I think you can be strong and be a punter and still be good. But if you like post pictures of your workouts and stuff, then you start thinking that you're an actual football player. That's where it becomes a problem when you drop it and then you pick it up

and try to run for a first down. Yes, that's where it gets to be an issue. I also think that there is some truth to Odell Beckham. Oh, being like, addition by some trackers. The Browns looked awesome today, with the exception of that fumble by Nick Chubb, who, by the way, is wearing gloves. Yeah, I like him better when he's just going skin on skin with the ball. Yeah.

But besides, besides that, like the Browns offense look really, really good today. Yeah, I was a Browns fan. I know that they're probably like freaking out. Like, I hope that this doesn't damage like whatever momentum we have going because they probably should have won this game, but you're a good team. You went toe to toe with the Kansas City Chiefs and truly like punch for punch in their in their place against Patrick Holmes, who again has not lost in the month of September.

So yeah, if you're a Browns fan, it sucks to lose your opening game yet again. But that was definitely I walked away being like the Browns are for real. And the Chiefs essentially defensive plan is just let's just have Chris Jones do something sick like two or three times a game because he kind of changed. He changed the game with two or three plays on the defensive side where they were getting gashed. Oh, OK, he's got a big sack or he's got a big tackle and they can get back in the game.

How did you Davion Clowney do today? I didn't hear his name called. I just saw him a couple of times. Also, both uniforms were so bright. They were very bright on the TV. I don't know if it was the TV. Let's see. Davion Clowney. That sounds like that is the oldest I've ever sounded.

This TV is so bright. I don't see Davion Clowney. So he had to get a good. Oh, wait, he had four and he had a tackle for loss today. Oh, OK, there you go. Good job. Good job. I'm still in the lead. All right. Dolphins Patriots. Hank, let's talk. Mack Jones looked good.

It actually is a very funny game because we talked about it with Zach Taylor. The difference between winning and losing is so small that if Damien Harris doesn't fumble the ball to that fucking picky through with like eight minutes left in the game, or he was just wheeling around and threw it up in the air to no one. He's the one who gets all the blame. I thought Matt Jones is good, though. What do you think? Yeah, I don't think Matt Jones is going to catch.

Catch and blame. I thought I was I was refreshed to see what he did. He didn't have any crazy plays, but he, you know, managed the game well. Had them. Oh, no, no, no, Hank. He had a crazy play. That wall. I had to miss that one. I had a very crazy coming to the Hoboken house. I missed the first drive of the game. I walked in there like you missed the craziest play.

It was crazy. Well, it was because he's never seen pressure in his life. He threw a bounce pass like a chest bounce pass that you'd see in basketball backwards. Yeah, but he had him in a position to win the game with a field goal or a touchdown with like a minute left. So that's all you can really ask for. The other thing I noticed watching this game, and I'm sure there's probably advanced stats that could back me up or tell me I'm wrong,

but to a throws left more than any other quarterback throws their dominant hand. Like he can't throw to the right. Oh, I like interest. All of his passes were to the left. I'm still not a believer in Tua. He's like a basketball. He was better today. Make him go right.

But it was funny. He looked OK today. He looked OK, but that pick was an inexcusable pick that you can't have. And you can't. It's not like he's a rookie anymore. What is he a year two, three, two to two to two? I mean, I guess so. He still is very young.

So maybe you can't have that throw. They had a good way. That was that would have cost them the game. Their first drive of the game and their first drive of the second half was like their best drives. Other than that, the defense was good. I thought it was interesting that they were putting Jacobi Berset in for Tua. Like, I don't know what skill set Jacobi had, but it was for sneaks.

But also they had him drop back a couple of times. They had him in not necessarily like you look fat. He looks a little fat. He looks healthy. Yeah. Let me ask you this, Hank. How many Super Bowls is Mac Jones going to win for you? Oh, conservatively, three. I was going to say you're going to say three.

Three plus, though, is probably what I would I would expect. Anything less than three disappointment. Yeah. Or would you say dynasty officially back on? Yeah. OK. Well, you got to win the first one. You got to win one game to say dynasty back on. We're going to win one Super Bowl. Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. Do you think they beat the Jets next week?

Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. For sure. One thing I noticed. Nice try, Billy. I don't know. I don't know. Really? OK. One thing I noticed in the crowd in New England is there's probably still like 50 percent of New England Patriots fans are still wearing Tom Brady jerseys to the game. Is that you think that that's still good to do?

Because in my mind, you stop wearing the jersey until he retires. And then he's a patriot again. I think he's a patriot for life, no matter what. It's one of those things. He's literally not a patriot right now, though. Yeah, but it's like people. Tom Brady won his first Super Bowl. I was eight years old when he won his last Super Bowl, the Patriots. I was like 26.

Crazy how time works. My entire life is with him. So it's like one of those things. You just always support him. I don't know. We're going to say, Billy, if there was a promotion where you could switch your Tom Brady jersey for Mac Jones jerseys, you think they'd do it? I'm sure some people would.

Like that with their name by back program. Yeah. Or like with the firearm. Let's play our favorite game. Guess the spread. Oh, I like this. I'm pretty good at this. Patriots. Guess the spread are way too early. In New York.

In New York, Patriots minus six and a half. No, Patriots minus nine. Whoa. Four. Four is correct. Oh, wow. Four is. I'm a little rusty. That now makes me think the Jets are going to cover because I saw four and I was like, what?

That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Uh, like Vegas zone. Because if you look up Bill Belichick against a rookie quarterback, I actually have no idea what the answer would be. But I assume that he's got a rookie quarterback. But it sounded cool when I started saying like Bill Belichick dominates rookie quarterback. Bill Belichick.

No idea if it's correct. You should have just finished Bill Belichick versus a rookie quarterback. He's 22 and two. Yeah, that sounds that would not surprise me. Jake, you're the only winner today. Any thoughts? Yeah. Dolphins have won two out of three in Foxboro before that. They haven't won since the Wildcat Ronnie Brown game.

Two out of three. Floor is a fact. Are you saying it's, it's Miami North now? No, I wouldn't say that. Okay. You're too good of a sportsmanship. Yeah. Of course. Okay. Last two games. Broncos Giants.

I'm officially giving up on Daniel Jones. I am ridding myself of ever thinking he's going to be good at some point, you are what you are. And that fumble that he had, they were losing anyway. He had his 30th fumble today. He's been playing for like less than three years, full time as a starter. But he basically, they were down 10. They were driving first in 10 on the 20 yard line.

And he fumbles at the Broncos 12. You just can't have it. So I just think he just will never not fumble. And Joe judge, you're an idiot. He tries to challenge a touchdown and gets a timeout taken away. He has to make himself run a lap for that. That's the, that's the rule that we talked about with Calvin Johnson, where how all these bad calls, all these like really unlucky

circumstances happened to the Lions. That was one of the ones that I think Jim Schwartz had when he was up in Detroit, but you, that's a, that's a rookie head coach mistake. Yeah. Is to try to challenge that touchdown play. Like it's the second year. It's your second year, Joe Jones. Daniel Jones third year.

You got to know, and Daniel Jones has, it's 30 fumbles in 28 games. He's the first quarterback to do that since Tony Banks, like 1994. That was per cam, part of my take, per pro football focus. He's bad. Yeah. He's bad. He's bad. And he loses the ball a lot.

If your best asset is that you look like a distant relative of Eli Manning. That's not, that's not a plus. No, no. So he's a, yeah, I'm done with that. And then Vic Fangio, the defense is back. Teddy Bridgewater is the, I feel like we won that debate with Pete Prisco. Yep. Teddy Bridgewater is the perfect cause Drew Lock would have thrown an interception in

this game that would have gotten the Giants back in the game. It's funny because if you listen back to that conversation about Drew Lock or Teddy Bridgewater, we were just, we were talking past each other in the most hypothetical situation spot. Well, if Drew Lock throws like a hundred yard touchdown pass, wouldn't you want that? Right. Yeah. He might throw like a bad interception the first quarter.

Like we were just doing all hypotheticals, but the reality is, I think Teddy Bridgewater is a much more consistent, good quarterback. And they have a good defense. Vaughn Miller is back. Vic Fangio is a great defensive coach. They have dudes. Like they played great defense. They took care of the ball.

Teddy Bridgewater did his thing and they won easily. And Teddy looks so cool when he's wearing the two gloves with the short sleeves. Cause later on in the year, you get the Teddy two gloves, but it doesn't pop as much with the long sleeves. Yep. He looked awesome today. Yeah. And also Teddy's that guy where you have to say like, what a nice guy you have to root

for because his knee exploded and his name is Teddy, you can't be mad at Teddy. Right. Right. Um, all right. I think that's it. Was that all the games? Yeah, that's it. Oh, wait, oh, wait, hang on.

Hold on. Speaking of quarterbacks, we were right about. Wait, did Aaron Rodgers retire? Cause I'm seeing it right now. It says Saints 38 Packers three. It's it's he retired, right? It's a shame, big cat that you're choosing to lead off this game with talking about how bad Aaron Rodgers played and not talk James, how great James Winston was.

Well, I mean, I Aaron, big news, Aaron Rodgers retired. I think he's still playing, but he's technically retired mentally. He's checked out. I would say he's checked out. I have a staff for you real quick. Aaron Rodgers had 28 attempts, 133 yards, zero touchdowns and two interceptions. He had a 36.8 rating. If he had just thrown all 28 passes into the ground, he would have had a higher rating.

You know, been a 39.6. Love it. So Tim Tebow would have actually been a perfect quarterback. Andy Dalton was better than Aaron Rodgers today. Yeah, that's a fact. Aaron Rodgers does stink in Florida, historically, though. I hate the state. I don't think he wants to play anymore.

I don't think he wants to be in that state. I think he's done. I think he just doesn't want to play. I think the Packers should have cut Blake Bortles. Yep. That's we put a curse on the curse of Blake Bortles. Okay. Now, James, James kicked the shit out of the Packers.

That was he's everything. He is. He is everything. Five touchdowns, what, 150 yards passing? That's just efficiency. And yeah, sure, one of them was like a little shovel pass, but whatever. Who cares? Whatever.

And then he had an unbelievable sound clip after where he said they asked him, like, about the game and he's like, well, it's like my trainer always says, wait, what did my trainer say? Oh, yeah, it's he said to be prepared. That was it. Put the clip in. Can you put it in Hank? How did the defense in the running game give overall shape to the way this played out,

James? I just think we were prepared. You know, one thing my trainer, he told me he said, what did he say? He just told us to be prepared. That was that's James. It's probably for the best that James forgot what is trained. If it's the same trainer that's like, hey, go throw a wiffle ball into a lacrosse stick in a wind tunnel full of hummingbirds.

Yeah. It's probably for the best that you're not hanging on every word that guy's told. Hey, James, I got this dog and I'm going to whip you with a towel and you're this dog's going to chase you around. Well, also my my wife over here, she's going to have some boxing gloves and try to punch you in the face. Yeah, even get your pass off. James Winston trains like he's shooting trick shots with Brad Johnson.

Yeah, he's part of Dude Perfect. Yeah, he is. He is part of Dude Perfect without the shot. It's it's actually it's off-court point. There's no insertion. You don't get to actually see the shot go in. You just get to see everything, all the weird shit in your backyard that makes the cool trick shot, which is why we love James.

He's kind of a spaz. Yeah, and when he was running, when he was running with the ball today, he runs like force gump, like straight, completely upright. He looks like he's shitting himself while sprinting at the same time, but he gets results. And guess what? You can't argue with results. Five touchdowns, five touchdowns on pace for eighty five touchdowns, eighty five touchdowns. That would be a record.

I'll have to check it in the official record books. Aaron Rodgers on the pace for 34 interceptions and zero touchdowns. I got some bad news for you. What, you know what the team was last time to get beat thirty eight three by the Saints? Who fucking years week one. Then they won the Super Bowl. That wasn't week one. It wasn't week one.

Fake news. That was not week one. I remember watching in this room. Same score. Thirty eight three. OK, that was midseason. And also Tom Brady had basically a torn MCL. Yeah, Tom Aaron Rodgers is don't do this, dude.

The only wins I get is when the Packers lose. It's all I get. Don't do this. Also, don't do it. I think that Sean Payton. So hot in here. Did you see Sean Payton try to mix it up with with Taysum Hill today? I think what with Sean sweating so much with Sean Payton's

trying to do with Taysum Hill is just time out when James's weird plays are going to be. Yeah. And because there's no real rhyme or reason for when he's putting Taysum into the game, it's just like he gets a sense like James is about to do something fucking stupid right now. Right. I'm just going to put Taysum in there and we just won't have a turnover on this play. Yes. And because if you can take they always say if you can eliminate the bad

plays for James Winston, I think that Sean Payton's just like riding that spidey sense. He's like, I think I can actually literally remove the bad plays. Yes. For James Winston Packers suck. Aaron Rodgers retired. Whether you believe it or not, Packers fans, Aaron Rodgers has mentally retired from the Green Bay Packers. I saw it with my own two eyes.

He's mentally retired. No chance does this become come back in and haunt me this clip. It is so hot in here. We got to clap it out. Clap it out. Also, so like we're actually I think I'm looking at Hank. I think he might pass out. I am starting to feel lightheaded.

It is so hot in here. It's one twenty four in the morning. No big deal. I was just about to say we're not we're not recording this now. This part, but it is one twenty four. It's one twenty four. All right. So here's what we're going to do.

Clap it up for us. Clap it up for us. We also have water bottles. We don't have water bottles. We're going to we're going to do. Let's do some. Switch up. Remind us.

Dehydrated. Let's talk some college football on Wednesday's show. Just briefly, Ohio State, they did punt from their opponents 33 and then lost to Oregon and Florida State and Florida State with an all time loss. But Jake, remind us, we'll do that for brevity today. And also, I actually think one of us might pass out. I am really lightheaded.

All right. Let's do football guy the week. And then we'll finish up with who's back in the shirts off for football. Football guy the week sweaty football guy. The week is brought to you by Chevy Chevy talks. We're talking strength. We're talking new heights. But it's all happening with the first ever Silverado ZR2.

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the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever get excited. It's coming spring 2022. The first ever Silverado ZR2. Hell, yes, we love you, Chevy. Billy football guys of the week. Our first football guy, the week nominee is Jack Cohen. Jack Cohen popped his finger on the plate cone. Jack Cohen is in his Yom Kippur was save.

Will New York save Long Island product. He was he popped his finger out, went, ran over the sideline, popped it back in, ran back out through a touchdown. That's just great. Can't teach that. That's like an injury that you have to be around football for a while to be able to self-diagnose, because I think any normal human would be like my finger is like I'm dead.

My finger is extremely fractured. But if you've just seen other guys get it popped in, you can like mentally get past that. I also like to point out, Hank took his shirt off. Hank's looking good, dude. That woman trainer. Yeah. Hank, are we doing September? One beer a week. Look at how much sweat I have on my arms.

Fuck. All right. Here we go. Football guy week two. No, I'm doing sober September. Sober. Yeah, or get pulled over. PFT said on the way to the car today, he goes, he was like, I went out and hoboken on Saturdays. Like that's probably the last time I drink on a Saturday in the football season

in September. Yeah, it's all one sentence. I used to text me. I was like, I think I'm trying not to drink all September. And he's like, I'm doing September starting at 7 p.m. As he was saying it, he realized what he was saying. And he's like, wait, in September, September, September, I call it September because you have you take it easy.

Yeah, I'm going to have like a couple of Friday drinks occasionally. Yeah, it was just like a 30 second run on Santa. Yeah, right. He just didn't stop. He kept adding. In September on the weekends, specifically when the Sundays. Yeah. All right. Number two are number two is Sean Elliott, the head coach of Georgia State.

He was mobbing up with his players before the game, ripped guys helmet off. We're just in the mosh pit with him all game. They did lose, but he was getting pumped up with the boys. Yeah, I like that. Matter of fact, our next one, Robert Salah running the. What should we call him? Stairs stairs in the stadium before the game. Yep.

Again, it's very hot. It's hot. It's hot. A hundred. Are we sure his names? No, it's not, but it doesn't matter. I'm sorry for even bringing it up. And then the last one is it's every time I say, Salah, Salah, Salah, Salah, Salah.

You guys keep telling me I'm wrong when I say, Salah. So now the only other option is to say, Salah, Salah, Salah, Salah, Salah. Last one is Salah. And Robert for me, and we've got. This one was highly submitted. I'm not entirely sure if this is a football guy move, but Will Hall, the head coach of the University of Southern Mississippi, said, regarding his next game, I'm not excited.

My life is on the line. Thought it might not be a football guy moved to be excited about a game, but also it's a matter of life or death for him. So very, very. Also, there was a baby born in the tunnel of the Southern Miss game this weekend. Oh, wow. Maybe not actually born, but I know that the water, the woman's water broke and like there was a big scene and then she might have gotten to the hospital.

But that's a football baby. I think yeah. Shout out to that mom for for going. I guess Mississippi is really the only state that you would expect that. Yeah. If you're nine and you're nine months and two weeks pregnant. Yep. Guess what?

You're still going to be clanga. Hell yeah. What about what about Shiano Man? Shiano Man has Rutgers at two and oh two and oh. Also, he took the name off the back of their jersey and then put a second name on the front on the back. So everybody's name was Rutgers on the back. That's we love it.

Huge move by Shiano. Yeah. All right. Good job, Billy. Yeah. All right. Go vote on it. Also shout out Daniel Ricardo, who won.

We got to get him back on the show. Did a shoey push push for stopping and one to Hamilton got Hamilton got in an accident and that's F1. That's talking big week for Asa Martin. He didn't watch a second of it. Football's back. What about he sent us a party shirt, right? Yep.

Daniel Ricardo sent us a party shirt. I'm not going to say where it's from. I don't want to ruin the allure. Urban outfitters. I was a little disappointed. Pots of shirts. Yeah. I was just like, what is this?

Maybe that's like his first ever party shirt. I don't know. We have a party shirt though from him. All right, let's finish up. Yeah, I know it sucked. I was a little bummed out. I was a little bummed out. Can you bleep that out?

Hey, bleep it. I don't want to read out words from stage. All right, let's finish up. We got who's back the week to end the show. By the way, Wednesday, Carmelo Anthony. You saw the book on the table. If you were watching, go subscribe to the podcast or subscribe to the YouTube. We're going to get to 300,000.

PFT's going to show us his awesome eyes. Subscribe with on subathon. Carmelo, Carmelo Anthony was an awesome, awesome interview. We had him for an hour, hour. It was great. It wasn't that hot in here too. OK, who's back the week? Brought to you by Cash App.

Go download the Cash App right now. The Cash App is back. Buying Bitcoin is back. Buying stocks is back. All through the Cash App. You can invest with the Cash App. It's super easy to download the Cash App. You just download it.

Enter the referral code Barser. You receive $10 for free, $10 as PCA. Go download the Cash App now from the App Store, Google Play Store. Today, the Cash App is the best app in the world. That is who's back. The Cash App. OK, Hank. My who's back is Conor McGregor.

Oh, he was at the VMA tonight in Brooklyn. So that's the important thing to note. Something about Conor McGregor in the Barclay Center just gets him all hot and bothered. He got in a fight with Machine Gun Kelly. There's a video of him taking a full cup of Pepsi or a drink and just throwing it at him. But in the process, hitting all the photographers and security people around him. I don't know who knows what they were talking, you know, fighting about. But Conor McGregor is back talking to him, trying to fight Machine Gun Kelly at VMA Awards.

Who wins in a fight, Machine Gun Kelly or Conor McGregor? Now, bear in mind, Machine Gun Kelly is like a foot taller than Conor McGregor. But also, also he's all skinnier than Conor McGregor. He's less pout. But he's all elbows. Yep. And reach does matter and these type of things. So I feel like it's probably probably MGK. Also, he's got Travis Barker on his back.

So I feel like Travis Barker could absolutely whip some ass. And the idea that Megan Kelly might leave him. Fox, Megan Fox, Fox, Megan Kelly. That would be a power combo. Who's making Kelly the Fox? Oh, that's confusing. Yeah. Well, no, she's now she's Megan Kelly's the Fox. No, she's Megan Fox's Margot Robbie.

Now, she's Megan NBC and Megan NBC. There was reports that Conor McGregor was asking for a photo. And then MGK said no, and that's what caused the whole thing. I feel like that's that's something that MGK's camp would put out. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see Conor McGregor being like, hey, MGK, big fan or fan of Megan. Yeah. Can I get a photo of Megan? Yeah. Can I can I get a nude photo of Megan is what he was asking for.

All right. PFT. All right. Breaking news real quick. The Patriots are a perfect 13 and no against rookie quarterbacks at home. Hell, yes. I knew that sounded right. Also, Robert Griffin, the third still thinks that James Winston crab jokes are funny. He's made several of those today. Yeah, they're not.

He made one mistake. You read the tweet. It's all time. Yeah. He says so after beating this is from Robert Griffin, the third after beating Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, James Winston is now requesting strategy meetings with the Saints brass and demanding five crab legs one for every touchdown he threw, but be placed in his locker every day for consumption since he ate a W. This is like your dad sending you a forward, forward, forward email.

And they check this out. Did you hear about James Winston? He asked for crab legs from the Saints brass so he can eat a W. RG three also said earlier that people are going to get mad at James for proving the doubters wrong, playing lights out, makes the fact that when he gets paid, he will be accused of stealing money that was earned and give him to him like he was accused of stealing crab legs that were given to him because of his play at F.S.E.

He really thinks this crab leg thing is the funniest thing ever. Really hammering it. Yeah. All right. P.F.T. your who's back. My who's back is Saber Metrics. Stephen A. Smith. He went on and I think there's a tic-tac live and he broke down how many takes he has given over the course of his career.

Listen to Stephen A. Smith do Saber Metrics on himself and the amount of takes that he's had today and reality is that we have 15 segments a day, 75 segments a week, over 3,000 takes a year. In the nine years that I've been on first take, I've given over 33,000 takes. And what a lot of people don't realize is that not just the work that goes into that, but also the fact that it's a chemistry that you have. And sometimes it's so 33,000 takes. Never been the same.

None of them. They've never talked about the same thing like snowflakes. They are never talked about the same thing on shows on multiple days. Just because, you know, a baker's dozen of those takes happen to involve him listing players that haven't played on that team for the last three years. Correct. It's irrelevant. It's material to the discussion. Yeah. And nothing changed.

The fact that Stephen A. Smith has given over 33,000 takes in his career. Oh, I love it. How many takes you go? How many takes you think we've given? I'd be shocked if it was how many per show. That's a good question. I think we'd give 20 to 50 takes per show multiplied by like five 50 something. Let's say 50. Let's say a hundred takes a week.

So yeah, I don't know. Five, five hundred a year. No, we couldn't do math anyway. We've given probably we've given over 3,000 takes on this show. Three thousand, three thousand takes on the show. Sounds about right. More, more, probably more, probably more. But yeah, shout out to Stephen A. Smith doing live calculations of crushed it. The amount of takes him laughing about the Cowboys.

That's just the best. He's just he's goaded for that. All right. My who's back the week is Cuck fans are officially back because the NFL season just started. And I feel like NFL fans have a special like cuckness to them, which is very, very funny. NBA fans do it. And it's kind of pathetic NFL fans do it.

And it's like, this is really bizarre. What do you mean, cuck fans? Fans that are saying coming in peace as a fan. So I saw this on Twitter. This came from the Steelers Reddit. It came so it reads Ravens fan here here. I come in peace. Who the hell do the Browns think they are?

That fan base is so fucking toxic, toxic and think they run not only the division, but the league. As far as I'm concerned, as long as the both of us are in this division, it will always be ours. They have a good team for the first time in decades and think the league is theirs. No matter how much I hate you guys, if I'm going to war with one team by my side, it's the Steelers. Simply because of the great fights put up against us year in and year out.

No matter how bad one of us are, at least since he fans know their place and remain somewhat humble, fuck Cleveland. Best of luck this year unless you're playing us. That's sad behavior from a Ravens fan. I want to go to war with you guys. Honestly, that is pathetic behavior if you're a Ravens fan. Unreal. Coming in peace. You know what? I would say at this point, the Browns live rent free

and that guy's had. That's rent free type behavior. I'd agree. But the coming in peace is always funny. It's always funny. Adnan Syed fan here coming in peace. I hope DeAndre Swift's OK. It's always, it's always, always good. Oh, my God. All right, Billy. No, Jake. Uh, deep drives to the left to make it a four nothing ball games are back

because that's exactly what Nick Castellano stood yesterday. What? What was yesterday? He hit a deep drive to the left. I'm over it. I think people reach to it's like, I'm so over it. There's he had a home run on September 11th. Obviously, I don't know. They're playing games. I thought it was cooler, not cooler, but like more ironic that he hit a deep drive to the left to make it a four nothing ball game.

Oh, exactly that. Jake, you're so pure. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He did all those details. Same direction. Same score. Yeah. OK, I do agree, though. It's kind of weird. Like every time there's a home run, people like jump on Twitter and quick Google.

Like they search for what's the most recent tragedy that just like, I hope there was a mass shooting today so I can take a screenshot of this Castellano's tweet and put it next to the news. You're talking about no one in particular. No one in particular. Yeah, I'm about to eventually like, unfortunately, get to a point where he hits a home run and then someone has to go commit a murder just so that they can get it in the news. I will then like 30 seconds.

Yeah, maybe he's like, fuck, I can't find it. He shoots up the office. He's like, this is a tragedy. He's like that Gelenholm movie. What is it, Nightcrawler? Yeah, they're Gelenholm movie. Yeah, that's going to be me. Right. The fuck. The debate for Tennis Goat is back, though,

because we still have a three way tie because Joe Kovic. It's NFL Sunday. Yeah. No one. What happened? I don't know. I just saw some highlight of someone's grand slam in the years. He choked. He choked. He can't really choke and can lose in three sides.

No, he's just so hard. He could have had the first grand slam in men's and like since the 60s and he fucking choked. Oh, so you say Federer's never done it. And he does never done it. Good. Yeah, but Joe, and exactly, Joe Kovic could have had it. Yeah, but Joe Kovic's probably.

Joe Kovic's sets are the straightest sets of them all. Yeah. Yeah. Fact. He, you know what? He finished so fast. Not a patino joke. He was probably trying to watch the end of the chiefs Brown's game.

That's a football guy. Yeah. That's a fact. Joe Kovic loves football. He loves football. He loves Patrick Mahomes. He actually probably be more Josh Allen. He was probably live tweaking. He was probably live tweeting in between sets.

Wow. Chiefs really suck. Said no one ever. Yeah. Things are coming out, chiefs. Yeah. So Jake, I don't know what you're talking about. He's a joke. You're a joke.

He's a joke. You're a joke. He's a joke. You're a joke. He's a fucking joke. You're a joke. Oh, Hank almost won. No.

All right, big cat won. Your joke. Your joke. Your joke. I'm like that ref in boxing. Billy, we're all punch drunk. Your joke. I didn't say it.

All right. I doubled it. Big cat won. That was actually, I was faking it. No, because you waited so long to counter. Yeah. That's how much of a joke you are. That was a pin.

Big cat just pinned you. Put it up three points. Also, count all those as individual takes given on this show. On who's a joke. Jokers being a joke, yeah. Yeah, no, that's another take. Nice try, your joke.

I knew what you're saying. Joke. Billy. I think Billy has no idea what's going on. Who's back of the week is Handball. Handball is back. If you haven't, go subscribe to our YouTube. If we get to 300K subscribers, PFT

is going to be taking off his glasses. I went and played in the Handball tournament just like to test it out, because everyone talks shit about a handball. I actually went and did it. The Handball community actually gave me a little crevice because I'm the only person to talk shit about it and then go do it.

I don't care. No, Rage. That sounds pretty cool. But the Handball community likes you. Yeah, the Handball community is pretty actually. Yeah, what do they both say? So to check it out, we're going to drop the video. I'm going to stop talking shit now.

On Tuesday. I've never talked shit about something that I have no intention of doing, but I can definitely beat an alligator in a fight. I like you, you're kind of small. OK, go ahead, keep going. But yeah, when we drop the video, it'll be cool. Oh, that's exactly when did you tape this?

I did it like before Great Week, but like everything's been crazy and stuff. So we're finally getting a shout out, Nick Fasoli. OK, nice, nice. So when was it? Three weeks ago, four weeks ago. It's we've been watching. It was definitely July.

It was, yeah, it was like before July 4th. I'm excited for this. So I actually forgot about it. Now I'm excited. Yeah, I mean, it's it's my first. It doesn't matter. First, hopefully people like it. Billy, you let's we give Billy shit,

but he took time on a Saturday. Yeah, he's walking. You can't rush these things. No, he went on a Saturday his own time. He went and did it. He joined the handball community. He asked before if he can go. I was like, fuck yeah, this is awesome.

You should do it. So initiative is great. I'm excited for the video. Once it come out in a couple of months. Tuesday. I really tried to learn how to edit videos. This is like Force Gump 2. I would have loved that to be.

You should have made the video about you learning how to edit video. It's so hard. Shout out all video editors. Shout out all video editors. You know who you are. Even the ones that are a joke. Yeah, and lacrosse.

Chris Hogan scored. Wait, who's a joke? The Saints. Thanks, Joe. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And Jack Cohn also. You're just doing your football guys again.

No, but he like, I'm saying lacrosse. They're talking about lacrosse again. Jack Cohn was also committed to Notre Dame for lacrosse originally. Carmelo Anthony on Wednesday. We will touch on college football on Wednesday as well. You have some things I want to talk about, especially Ryan Day punning from Oregon's 33.

You guys have had probably about 26,000 takes. Whoa. 100 takes a week. Yeah. 52 weeks a year. Yeah. Five years. Add it all up, 26K.

Good math, Billy. Great. All right, give me a number eight. Do you have anything else, Billy? Any wrap up? The Jets kicker came in for their punter and had a 65-yard punt. It's pretty dope.

Oh, that is pretty dope. Why'd he come in? Because the punter got hurt. Oh. And he was wearing a gold necklace. I like that. Yeah. He had big arms.

That was Amandola, right? Yeah, two M's. Yeah. Oh. Idiot. Sam Darno looking sneaky slim. That's pretty much all I got. 97.

Eight. Six. It's so goddamn hot. 18. It's too hot in here. The Tasmanian tiger wasn't actually a tiger, but they were tigers to me. 41?

41. Jake, do we have a score of Gami this week? No, we had a rare of Gami. OK. We had one game that had only happened once before, but doesn't count. What about twice? I think Falcon's Eagles was four times, so two times.

Quadrera Gami? Yeah. Love you guys. Talking your way. Now I don't know what I'm to say, I'll say it anyway. Today is not my day to find you shy away. Now I'll be coming for your lover, king, lover, king, lover, king, lover, king, lover, king, king, king, king.

King, lover, king, lover, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king, king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king king You