Pardon My Take - Hockey Guys Paul Bissonnette And Ryan Whitney

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

Should Lebron just quit on the Cavs? The Celtics and Warrior flex their MANalytics and Cleveland and Houston are in big trouble (2:47 - 14:16). NBA Draft Lottery was weird and we're not worried about the Caps, repeat we're not worried about the Caps (14:16 - 18:19) . Hot Seat/Cool Throne including the legalization of gambling and Kyrie Irving (18:19 - 35:46). Former NHL Players Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonnette join the show to talk about the NHL playoffs, their favorite stories from playing in the league, bashing basketball, and Biz tries to read an ad (35:46 - 65:32). Segments include PR 101 for Robinson Cano, Well that makes sense Qatar paid for the DC metro to stay open late, Embrace Debate Laurel/Yanny and Guys on Chicks.  You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we talk NBA playoffs a wild couple of nights. We also have some serious hockey talk with Paul Bissonette and Ryan Whitney, both recurring guests. They're in studio, really fun time with both those guys and guys on chicks. Before we get to all of that, it has been a wild first couple of weeks of year call

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Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Cique. Today is Wednesday, May 16th and I have to say boys, I hate to do it but I'm going to give a little hat tip to Colin Cowterd because I am a full blown analytics guy now. Yeah. No, you're right. It's all analytics in the playoffs. The Celtics are analytics kings. The Cavs besides LeBron and Kevin Love, their analytics rating is a big fat zero.

JR Smith, terrible analytics. And the Rockets, whole teams got bad analytics. I agree 100%. The Celtics, their analytics are off the charts. What are we calling it instead of Sabre Metrics? They're just labor metrics because they get to work. Because those Celtics, again, they are the funnest team to watch. I think Terry Rosier could probably beat up anybody on the court.

Yes. He's probably the smallest person. Scary Terry. But something tells me he can handle himself in a fight. The Celtics are just a better team than the Cavs and we talked to Zach Harper about this. I still think this is going to be a series because it's LeBron. LeBron has kind of got that Aaron Rodgers thing where like when the Packers are eliminated from the playoffs, you're like, but he'll probably throw a Hail Mary and they'll end

up in the playoffs. Right. The Celtics beat the shit out of the Cavs the second half. LeBron had an unbelievable game and their team is so much better than the Cavs because Cavs just suck besides LeBron and Kevin Love. But I still feel like LeBron will probably find a way to win games three and four and now it's a series. I'm going to LeBron stand for real for a second because I think he did get a concussion.

I think he did get knocked out. Yeah. He got clipped on the job pretty good. That was a Hank. Hank doesn't believe it. He's like softening shoulder pads. Oh yeah. Because people don't get concussions when they get hit with shoulder pads.

Yeah. Good point. You get a concussion from a pillow, Hank. Yeah. It's true. You ever get hit by like a really hard pillow? You ever fight in a heavyweight prize fight? You're not a heavyweight.

You're not a heavyweight. So no. Neither of you. No, neither of you. Paperbuy prize fight? No, I have not. But I do think that he got a concussion. I think he went to the locker room, drank some weight gainer so that he could come back

and be like, oh, in this game I put on seven pounds again. But he was definitely dinged up. He looked off when he first came back. Like he didn't remember really how to play basketball anymore. He's like a dog when it wakes up from a nap and it tries to walk. But even still, okay, let's say that he had a concussion. The Celtics are still a better team and LeBron has to basically have a superhuman effort. Like the first half, the calves are up because LeBron, what do you have, like 22 points in

the first quarter? I mean, he has to do everything for the calves. So while the Celtics are impressive as hell and some people in this room are already saying that the series is over, I don't know, I just think that LeBron's going to fucking do something in Cleveland for, I mean, the series hasn't even started yet because the road team hasn't won a game. Yeah. And it's not over.

All right. I will say this, Hank. This series might not have ever happened. You'll like this because I think the first half of game three is going to like obviously tell the whole tale here because LeBron definitely is not close, but he's definitely got in his mind. Like I might just quit on these bumps. Like these guys stink and they like, what do you even tell LeBron when you go, Jarrah

Smith went 0 for seven. Not only that, but there was like a moment of crisis of conscience that LeBron had when Jarrah Smith pushed. Who do you push that was that? Al Horford. Yeah. He pushed Horford in the small of the back. It was a dirty fucking play.

Of course it was. The two dirtiest things you can do in basketball. Undercut and that. You can cut a guy while he's shooting and push a guy in the back when he's in the air. I don't know how people like, I understand like the, oh, soft, you know, back in my day. No, if you play basketball at any level, you like pick up hoops and you push a guy in the back while he's in the air, that's going to be a fight. There's going to be a fight.

Yeah. Like that's just what happens. You can't do that. It was dirty and you could see LeBron be like, I'm really playing with these bums again. Yeah, right. Like what am I doing out here? Right. So yeah, I agree.

You might just get up and quit if it doesn't go well at the start of game three. But I also wouldn't be surprised if he went out and had 40 points and then Kevin Love came out and had like 28 points, 30 points and role play, role players play better at home. Like that's just a fact. You know what I mean? I know all that. The guys on the bench are going to play better when they're in front of the home crowd.

So I still think it's a series, but that was an impressive, impressive second half from the Celtics, concuss or not concuss. I don't even know what Lou's going to do to try to like match up against the same. Nothing. He doesn't do anything because he can't. Here's my thought is Lou knows about as much about coaching basketball teams I do, I think. So he's just going to be like, NBA teams are going small. We're going to go small.

Well, he doesn't like having small players, but he's just going to put his smallest players out there and be like, okay, we'll see if this works. Well, it's an impossible situation for him because the roster is so flawed. Like you have to have Kyle Korver play because he's one of the only guys who can shoot. Kyle Korver also gets torn up on defense. So it's like, okay, well, you're kind of screwed. You basically need to make a trade right now. The entire city of Cleveland right now is a panic button.

You know what the calves don't need to do is wear stupid fucking suits to the game. Disagree. That's you got to stop that. ESPN brought out the Saber metrics for the suits today. Did you see that? Yeah. The record when they were wearing charcoal gray suits. What is it?

I think, I think it was pretty good. Okay. I think overall when they're rocking the gray suits. Tyler was like the most winning playoff coach in NBA history. Oh yeah. That's your mouth. Percentage wise. Well, actually, it probably is Steve Kerr because I don't know if you guys saw that

stat, but like the, I think the Warriors are 23 and three with Kevin Durant in the playoffs. They've never been to a game six and so we don't know if they're battle tested yet. Yeah. And game one though of that Rockets Warriors series, that was a rip your heart out and stomp on it game by the Warriors because the Rockets home court won 65 games. This is the year they've got Chris Paul, they have the team that can beat them and the Warriors like in the third quarter is like, you know what, we're actually so much better than every other team in the world that we'll just toy with them and then we'll just rip their heart

out in front of all the fans. I pulled a classic Tony Kornheiser last night and I was watching the game, started the third quarter. I fell asleep on the couch watching it. I woke up about halfway through the third quarter when I fell asleep, it was tied and I wake up and the Warriors are up by like 13 points. I was like, what happened? That's what they do.

You probably only fell asleep for 90 seconds. Yeah. You probably just blinked because that's what the Warriors do. They just, they take you out of the game in 90 seconds. Before you can even realize that you're about to lose, they just stomp you. And I don't know, like I watched that game and we try not to be the overreaction guys, but the Rockets have no chance unless someone gets injured. I'm going to be an overreaction guys.

I'm going to say, I think it's going to be a sweep. I think that that third quarter stopped them so hard and their, their analytics are so subpar, so subpar that they're just going to come out next game, just totally empty on the gas deck. James Harden, he played, he played his heart out in the first half and he was shooting lights out and he was basically controlling the entire, like he was, he was the Rockets offense. When is that guy going to get in shape because he was running, he was doing what I do.

Like that's never good when you're watching a game and you're like, Oh, I know that move because I do that every Saturday morning. And I get really gassed and I just pass the ball and then stand as far away from the hoop as possible. And then, and then on defense, you stand next to the other laziest guy, okay, let's just not run around for like, just stay here. I'll guard you out here running three point to three point agreement that we're not going to run around each other for a while.

And people were blaming Dan Tony for benching him. It's like, no, if you watch like James Harden couldn't even run who knew that like the best way to get Kevin Durant to start playing well is to hit him in his butthole. Yes. That was the act. Hard elbow. Activation button on the Kevin Durant robot and turns out it's what wouldn't Ricky Williams call it?

Like your Yoni. Yeah. Yeah. It's your Tuckus. It's your Tuckus. The piece right that you poop out of. If you hit Kevin Durant on that, he'll go, he'll torch you. I love those moments too because it's like a reminder every now and then I think people

forget often that Chris Paul is sneaky, very dirty. Yeah. Like they like, Oh, shit. Chris Paul, what are you doing there? Oh, no, that's actually Chris Paul's like, yeah, he'll elbow you right in the butthole. Yeah. You know, he did. He milked his prostate.

I was like, I'm coming. Made sure he was good. Oh, that's coming. Yeah. It's going to happen. But yeah, that game like Draymond was being crazy to start the game. That was the best. That was the best.

Like you look at Draymond and like he's crazy to start the game. You look at his box score after the game, but if you actually watch it, like Draymond, he makes, you can't like beat him when he, he disrupts like everything in the paint and he's just a crazy wild, he's a Tasmanian devil on a basketball team. I thought he was going to ease his way into the game, kind of like you're getting to a hot bath and he wasn't going to go full Draymond right off the bat. No, within like the first minute, he's like, I'm Draymond and I'm here. I was, I was at dinner and I pulled up the score app and I like refreshed it.

It was like five nothing rockets, Draymond green, technical five, 40 seconds into the game. Like, all right. Well, that's perfect. Raymond green did not show up. No. This was pure unfiltered Draymond. So what do we think?

I personally think that the Celtics Cavs series is going to go six, six or seven. I think the at best the Rockets can win one game. I think, I think it's going to be sweep out West and I think it's going to go six and I think the Celtics are going to play against the Warriors in the finals and they're going to get swept. Hmm. It's going to be a double sweep. And I think a couple of brooms go six or seven in the finals.

Celtics might win a seven. I still want to steal one on the road. At what point do you go out and buy a broom? Half time of game three, we're going to go to the store half time of game three and get you a fucking broom. Yeah. If they're up, do you think, do you blame LeBron if he quits on this team? I think you have the city wall as a journalist, not clit on this team.

He is a kid from Cleveland, from Akron, but putting on this, I was debating this, like do you, because I yes, I probably will, because it will be very fun to do on Twitter to blame him for it. But like deep down, I don't know, if I was in the Bronx, I'd be like fuck these guys. As a rule, as a journalist, we do have to blame LeBron. That's our, that's part of our job description. It's not pretty. We, you know, I don't want to use the H word, the hero word, but as heroic journalists,

like that's, that's the limb we got to live on, man. And the, if you're a Cavs fan right now, you are, you got the scariest big time because not only are you down two O, but your draft pick ended up at the, what they get the seventh eighth, eight bulls out of the seventh, the, so that was like the, that was the golden bullet. Like, ooh, if the, if somehow we end up in the top three LeBron will stay. Um, did you guys watch the draft show? It was painfully awkward and so long.

I'm done. I'm done with that. Like, well, although you know that Roger Goddell is sitting at home and he's trying to figure out a way to get a lottery involved in the NFL so that he can sell like a two night pay per view of the NFL draft lottery. Weekend. Yeah. And there's a whole fan experience and they'll bring it to a different city every year.

Yeah. I would watch. You know, you'd watch. I'm already excited for it. Yeah. Now I'm going to, I'm going to wake up one morning and be like, wait, was that, did we sit down on the show? Was that a real thing?

No, it's going to happen. It's absolutely going to happen. And I can't wait for it. So yeah, the lottery went as planned, right? There was no, there was no surprises. The sun's got the first pick. So Deandre and gonna have to take a pay cut to play for the sun. That's pretty good.

Take that one. I like that one. I like that I don't have a square to spare lady from Seinfeld was representing the Hawks tonight. Oh, I don't know. I don't know why. I don't really, it's the Hawks and like that's the best. That's probably their biggest celebrity fan.

Yeah. And shout out to the bulls who the lottery was in Chicago. You could basically get anyone to, to represent the bulls. It's supposed to be like, when, when they do the lottery, you're supposed to put someone fun that, you know, gets that 30 seconds of air time. Like, oh, that's fun. They just put, you know, fucking Jerry Reinsdorf's fail son, Michael Reinsdorf looking all weird just sitting there being like, well, I'm probably going to take someone who played four years

in college. Right. He looks like the, that cook brother that never got into designing Hawaiian shirts. Yeah. So way to go guys. This is, that's the night where you actually give a little excitement and be like, Hey, we have this lucky. Benny the bull is going to be sitting and taking the lottery.

At the very least, just have Mike Dick could go out there and just fart on the person. Right. Yeah. Come on. There's so many options. Fucking Ronnie Wu probably wasn't doing anything. Um, all right. We should probably discuss though, the big story of the night.

Yeah. Uh, yeah. We're going to talk about Robinson Cano. So everyone's talking about it. We're going to talk about the capitals and they're still up to one. They're still up to one. Yes. But it's the capitals.

Listen, listen, tonight, tonight's performance wasn't as bad as a box score would lead you to believe. We gave up a couple of quick ones, uh, had some, some power plays that didn't go their way. Um, that first shot by Stamp Coast was a missile. We need to get a hockey guy on the show to tell us, like, give me a term that I can use for that shot. Cause all I got is, oh wait, we have two hockey guys coming up.

Great interview coming up. Um, but Stamp Coast, I, I said in game one, he's going to be a problem because he's probably the best player on the ice. I think he's, he brings something to the table that, that Ovi doesn't even bring. Um, but he, uh, that, that shot was just unstoppable, kind of set the tone. Um, I'm, I'm not worried about it. I'm not, I'm going to keep telling my, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you're not worried. I'm fucking not worried.

You're not worried. I can tell right now you are not worried. I'm actually not worried. Yes. Because I'm not worried. Nope. We got another one at home. Yep.

Marlin's man's going to game four. Oh, uh, so be on the lookout for that. We're going to have a little mow in the building. A little momentum. Did you see the news that, uh, were favorites for the stay in the cup now? Yeah, we are favorites. Yes, we are. Well, probably not anymore.

Maybe not anymore. Um, but we should be favorites because we're the best team. We had a, had a nice little end of the third period. So we got some, we got some, they carry over. Yeah. Definitely a statement loss. I'm going to carry over. I just want to say, um, the cheap shots that they're throwing at Wilson on called

floor. Yeah. You know, like a nice guy like that, he's not done anything to, to provoke it. Um, just lay off Wilson. Just not worried though. Not worried. I'm, I'm, I'm actually not worried because like, I know you think I'm worried. Yeah.

Right. You say it so many times that I'm not, I'm convinced you're not worried. I'm not right. It's all right. You're not. Like I've said, the capitals have never choked. So you're not worried. Brandon Holtby's neck beard provides excellent protection against choking that thing is,

I think it's actually just like a live marsupial that's, that's wedged itself like into his neck and hiding there for warmth. Yeah. Because that thing, he looks like, he looks like a, an arm, arm piece at a big boxing match. You know, sitting front row with, with some kind of a fox or something around his neck. Yes. The fox is biting at stale. Like a hand your eyes are, it looks like, uh, James Earl Ray's like a lion from coming

to America that was just like draped around her shoulder. It is a, it is a sight to see. So I'm not, I'm actually not worried. Yeah. I'm not like, this is not even a big deal. Like what, we got backstrom coming back. Everyone has to lose a game at some point. You play and sometimes you lose. Listen, all this said, you don't lose four before the other team. Out West that, that series is going to go seven. We don't want to be too rested going into this family cup. Not worry. So we want to drag it out, maybe give them maybe one more game, have it go six, five or six, six games is five. We'll do five games. Yeah. Tell the boys, help the economy. Yeah. Tell the

boys we'll do five. Yeah. And then I do want to address that there was some fake news going around that picture of the Capitol building being struck by lightning. Yeah. That was fake. It was behind the lightning bolt hit behind the Capitol. It was parallax angles where it actually, if you had, it was a funny angle. So it still, the United States Capitol has not been struck by lightning. We're so not worried that we actually have to clarify whether the lightning hit the Capitol building or not. I'm so not worried that I, I don't even know how else to put it, but I'm not worried. Not worried. Not worried for the record. Okay. Put in the logchaps. Let's do hot seat, cool throne, cool throne, the

capitals goes without saying. Yeah. It goes out saying not set, not worried. Hank, why did you start us off? My hot seat is chilies and us and anyone else who ate a chilies between March and April of this year because probably like five or six times your debit or credit card information has been compromised. So great. So I can blame my shitty credit on chilies. Good to have an excuse. What is chilies going to do to repay us? I don't know. They seems like they need to do something. Listen, if, if chilies just said, tell you what, America, we're sorry that all of your credit card information got stolen. Everyone gets queso. I think that's fair. Throw in some bonus, some bonus buffalo wings. Yeah. Just for the table. Yeah. It's

already unlimited chips. That's true. We're good with that. They can say like, we'll give you bottomless chips and all the noobs won't know that you already have it. Yeah. Hey, listen, if you go to a chilies and you get, you have to get bottomless chips and the waitress doesn't bring you the refill of chips before your meal, you stand up and walk out. Here's the old chilies. You send it back. It's kind of understood between, you know, those of us that go to chilies a lot. Chili's is a cash establishment. Yeah. You don't pay for something. You don't bring plastic into this equation. Cold hard cash is the name of the game. You want to have your meal at chilies be untraceable. Yes. That's on you if you paid with a card. It's definitely those little fucking

machines that they put at the booths, right? Oh, yeah. That's gotta be what it is. It's just gotta be listening into you. That's just what, that's, listen, that is, that is a sure to sit. I can't even speak. A sure tail sign. No, a sure. Sure. Fire sign. Sure. Fire sign. What's a telltale? A telltale sign that we happen to go too far with robots. Don't take away the waiter or the waitress's job. Get rid of those little robots that sit and take all your credit card information and give it a Jeff Bezos so you can buy more robot dogs to eat your throat. Yep. Just pay cash. Yes. Remember when Jim Harbaugh tweeted a picture of the van in front of Chili's on Kurt Week? Yeah, that was great. That's awesome. Yeah. And then my cool throne is the martial arts.

Chuck Liddell said he's coming out of retirement. He's going to fight again. That Cobra Kai Karate Kid show is apparently like popping off on YouTube. Didn't Chuck say he was going to fight John Bones Jones? He wants to. That's good. Yeah, that'll turn out well. So he just wants to have a funeral. He's just planning his funeral. Well, at what point did Chuck Liddell is like, Hey man, it's kind of weird that you still want to fight when you're like pretty washed up and probably got a lot of injuries. I think he's one of those dudes that just gets off on pain. He's into S&M. Yeah. Once a fighter, always a fighter. True. You wouldn't know big cat. And then the Patriots just hired a mixed martial arts master who apparently has been in the NFL

for a while, but Bill Belichick gave his original start. He found him in a newspaper article in 1982. What's his name? And just started sending his players there. Joe Kim. Oh, okay. Hey, that's actually really good cool throne because you know who also did that? Who? Mark Trestman for the Bears. That worked out well. But did Mark Trestman discover him in a newspaper article? Well, he used Joe Kim. I remember I wrote this blog. Mark Trestman. I was like, and at the time I was like, man, Mark Trestman, he's really thinking outside the box karate. Mark Trestman definitely found that guy on like back page. He did not go through a newspaper. Mark doesn't get Inka under his fingers. No, actually, Mark Trestman like rear ended that guy and the guy got out was like,

I'm going to kick your fucking ass. He's like, well, why don't you just get a job with the Bears? Tell you what? I'll hire you. Please don't hurt me. I mean, that's the most out like Belichick thing of all time. But I told you it's a Mark Trestman thing, which is bad. Bill Belichick found this guy originally and he put him on the Browns in 82. And then after that, he's worked in the NFL. So Trestman was just like, always one of Belichick's guys hired him. So Belichick was just reading the newspaper in 1982. It was like, saw a mixed martial arts ad and it started sending us players. I'd love to see that. Maybe Belichick just has like a Taekwondo expert coming in because he knows that his team all hates each other and then there's going to be

fights. And so he's like, oh, if you're going to fight, fight safe. He's just the grunt fight with rules. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to see that ad from 1982. Could you imagine taking out like being like, all right, how do I get people into my karate center in 1982? You got anything else? All right. PFT go. All right. My, my hot seat is antichannous. Antichannous. Use it in a sentence. The small mice like critter known for their marathon mating sessions, which can last up to 14 hours native to Australia. What is the etymology? It's an animal. Okay. And I guess some marsupial. And so the thing about that is they're having so much sex that they're going extinct. They're wearing themselves out. And they're, they're having their, their sex is lasting so long that they're dying from exhaustion

and they're going extinct. So they're like an entire, their entire animal of sting, an entire phylum of sting. So where are they found? Australia. They're just rats. Australia. There's big rats. They're just, no, they're small mice like critters. So they're rats. So they're rats. And they're fucked. They're rats that fuck so hard that they die. That is scary. You know, they make noises too. Oh yeah. Are you kidding me? Do you hear the ancient Mende-Meneys? Fucking. Antichannous. You ever hear cats fucking? Yes. If you hear an antichannous fucking, it's like, it sounds like an antichannous getting fucked by a cat, but it's just them fucking each other. Okay. Yeah. So they're, they're definitely on my hot

seat. My other hot seat is the NBA's coolness. Oh, so the NBA had a good little run, but it was so lame watching the NBA draft lottery and Adam Silver, he turns out he's a narc. Everyone thought that Adam Silver was the cool commissioner. But if he's so cool, how come he called the police on the guy that threatened to murder him and had him arrested? It happened? Yeah. There was a guy that emailed him and threatened him and Adam Silver forwarded to the police like a snitch. And then that guy got arrested. So not so cool anymore. Yeah. I mean, was his name David Stern? No, I think it was probably, it was probably, I guarantee you that the person who emailed Adam Silver was like, I'm going to kill you. At some point in the email, Scott Foster's name was written

in like, if you keep fucking giving me Scott Foster on my playoff game. Yeah. So I'll dovetail off that Scott Foster, that jump ball that he threw in the Rockets Warriors game yesterday was hilarious. And I was trying to figure out why the hell he did it. Like there's no reason for, he was, it was a psych out. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to psych these guys out. Well, no, there's a reason he wants people to watch Scott Foster. It's the, it's the Joey Crawford way of reffing. You just need to make sure that if people start thinking, Hey, this basketball game is pretty cool. That's when you step in and say, no, you know, it's really cool. Having a whistle and being the police of this basketball game. Speaking of the police and

specifically fucked the police, do you think maybe it was Ice Cube that threatened Adam Silver to have him killed? Because the big three coming for that ass. Good point. So at any rate, Adam Silver's a narc. Yes. My cool throne is Wisconsin. Okay. The state of Wisconsin. USA Today ranked the top 10 drunkest cities in America. Yes. And you want to guess how many were from Wisconsin on that list? Top 10. Yeah. I'm going to guess five, seven, seven and the other two are two of the other ones were from Minnesota. And then there was one from Montana. So reciprocity nine out of 10 or from Wisconsin. What were the towns? Green Bay is number one. Eau Claire, Appleton, Madison. So they have all four of the top four. They are the Mount Rushmore of Drunks. Shout out

Wisconsin. That's pretty cool. And then number six is Oshkosh Nina. Yep. And then we've got Wasau. Yeah. Wasa. Wasa. Oh, and then La Crosse. Oh, nice. That's on there too. It's coming back. Fastest sport on two feet. Yeah. That was your last cool throne? That was my cool throne. Okay. I have two hot seats. My first hot seat is your bookie. So gambling is legal. My bookie? Yeah. Everyone's bookie. So gambling is legal. I don't think anyone's going to lose their bookie overnight. I think it's going to be probably like a decade. But at some point, the bookie relationship will be something of the past. And that's very sad. Because like your bookie, that's like, you know, that's like family in a weird perverted way. He's like the friend that

you hate to see. Yeah. Or like the uncle that annoys you. So you stay away from him. Yeah. Like the aunt who texts you out of the blue and you're like, I got to reply this. That's the bookie on Monday morning. You know, it is waiting for that text. When you text him, like you kind of feel naughty sometimes. Yeah. I should be betting, but I'm going to text your aunt and you feel naughty. Oh, no. Hank. What was that about Hank? Are your is your aunt twins with a sister? That was like the knockoff Brazzers music. Hey, this is your favorite nephew. This is this is actually Brazzaz. Yeah. Where you just eat meat and in the live stream. I mean, to be fair, incest porn is pretty big these days. It's like all over the four pages. So I can't play

him. That you know, Hank, it's okay. So it's not a big sign. We're sex positive. I'm just happy you're getting it hard. Yeah. No, but you're right. It's like, it's the uncle that you don't like hanging out with unless it's your birthday and he's got a present for you. Yeah. So whoa. Okay. Either way, gambling is legalized. The world is going to change. I love it. I mean, it's going to be awesome. It is pretty cool. Maybe some advertising dollars with the beak for us. And yeah, I mean, just the idea that it's in some point in like 10 years, you could walk into a bar and watch a game and make a bet and cash a ticket at the bar would be just fantastic. Is it going to be less cool now that everyone's doing it? Probably because I don't really care.

There's that bad boy streak. You're like, yeah, I laid down a couple of nipples. No big deal. Right. Yeah. I call my bookie. I like it's it does kind of give you a little nostalgia. I remember used to walk around with little books, like actual books that I'd write down on my best because I have to call them in and just sit in my back pocket and you're just like, yeah, little little little notebook and I just write them all down and I found them one day. I was like, oh God, I had a bad trip down memory lane. I remember I was in like seventh grade and sports illicitor wrote an article about like a campus bookie and I didn't finish the article, but the first two thirds of it. It was just this dude living the high life on campus and sounded awesome. And so I

was like, I'm going to be my middle school bookie. So I went into school the next week and I was like, okay, I'm taking bets. And I took bets. And of course, like nobody paid. I didn't pay anybody and so I remember I was like being a campus bookie kind of sucks. Yeah. Yeah, it does. My other hot seat, Hank, are you listening? Carrie Irving agreed. So the number one source for all NBA news, the brew crew, Chris Persard had this to say, it's Brad Stevens team. When you come back, win, win or lose this series for Boston, this is now Brad Stevens is a genius. Matt scientist. He's the face of the Celtics. And that doesn't, you, I'm reading this word for word. I'm not, and that doesn't, you,

some people might say, well, of course the coaches know it's James Harden's team. It's Steph Curry's team. I disagree with that. It's Kevin Durant's team. Okay. See is Russell Westbrook's team was Durant's team. LeBron has his team. So the point is Kyrie's not going to be happy that this is Brad Stevens team. And I'll tell you, if you remember, I think Chris Persard just gave me a stroke. Yeah. I know Chris. I read that exactly how it was. My brain hurts. If you remember Chris Persard, he had the LeBron news first after LeBron posted his own words on Sports Illustrated, but he had it first after that. He had that clip. We'll put that the, put that clip online. Liam, it's my favorite Persard clip of all time. But Hank, are you a little worried

that this is no longer Kyrie Irving's team? Yeah. I mean, to be honest, I am. Yeah. It's actually like a, it's one of those stupid hot takes that kind of has a little bit of reality. If we rewound the tape, you guys were like, Oh, you think they'll beat Milwaukee? I said, yeah, because of Brad Stevens. You're like, Oh, this is a Brad Stevens thing. Yeah. I was like, yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, Hank, who would you rather have for the next three years? Kyrie Irving or Brad Stevens? Kyrie Irving. Yes. One got to go. It's 10 years. 10 years different. Three years. Yeah. Kyrie. That's the correct answer. But Kyrie left Cleveland because what? What do you think? He's a thank you. Yeah, it is. But Kyrie left Cleveland because it wasn't his

team. And now he's gone somewhere else, still not his team. You think LeBron, since Kyrie, are you up next tonight? Like, Hey, remember me? You see, you see this, like the, the Cavaliers right now are LeBron's rebound team that he got with. And he's like, I'm just trying to make Kyrie a little bit jealous. Yeah. I'm going to trade away my, my first rebound because I jumped in that relationship too fast with Isaiah Thomas, go trade them away and then rebound with like a whole mess of chicks. Turns out they're all like fours. And I'm not making Kyrie jealous enough. So I'm going to go crawling back to my hands and knees. Wow. Could you imagine if Kyrie, I mean, that actually, I could absolutely see that Danny Ainge trading Kyrie back to Cleveland for

like 17 picks and just keep cashing in on picks. And then, I mean, the fact that I watched the lottery tonight and was excited because I was like, Oh, maybe the bulls get top three. And then it shows that ticker. It's like the Celts could end up with the second or third pick. What the fuck? They're going to have like four. How is that possible? Yeah. They're going to have four lottery picks. I feel like they still have picks from trading Kevin Granat and Paul Pierce. They're going to have four lottery picks, but they have like potential. They have the Kings to get four first round picks. They have the Kings unprotected pick next year. Unprotected. That sounds hot. Raw dog. They have the Kings. Raw dog. Yes. Damn. All right. My cool throne is rich people in the

Hamptons who might not have a lot of swag because Steve Kerr unveiled the Hampton fives. Hampton fives. Yeah. And that is five. If you're asking yourself, did that lead to some Photoshop fun from the TNT crew? You're goddamn right. It did. Oh, it did. And then Charles Barkley tried to throw a baseball and it looked like his golf swing. It looked like he was throwing a discus made out of a shot putt. I, I like didn't, it's very, I mean, that's, wait, let me just, no works. I think that was made out of a shop. So just a shop putt, but it was throwing a discus style. He was throwing a shop putt discus style. Yeah. But it's funnier if you say he was throwing a discus made out of a shot putt. Yeah. Yeah. Now that we've analyzed that sentence. Yeah.

It's funnier if you break it down. Wait. Yeah. Cause it was sidearm. So he was throwing a discus made out of a shop putt. I just wasn't shocked that he was that terrible throwing because I've seen his golf swing. And once you see his golf swing, you just assume he can't do anything else athletic. Like I even forget that he played basketball because his golf swing so bad. I would watch a show that was just Charles Barkley trying to do random things. Like, um, Dahani takes on the planet or whatever. Yeah. Like I want to see Charles Barkley go overseas and, and, and compete in that like Malaysian kickboxing thing. To imagine Charles Barkley like long snapping. Yeah. Like trying to bend over and long snap. He just, I'm pretty sure he just shit himself. His pants

and then Shaq would just like waddle in laughing and then Ernie like, guys, guys, we got to talk about the Warriors. Yeah. So just be Charles Barkley and Shaq trying to do athletic things. And then just like a tuba band, following them around, go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Benny Hill music, just following them wherever they go. Um, all right. Let's get to our interviews. We have Paul Bissonette and Ryan Whitney, two of our good, good friends from spitting chicklets with us. One interview with two guys, a little, a little two on two action. Really fun interview though. Those guys are hilarious. Before we do that, the cash app, everyone knows we switched to the cash app. So award-winning listeners, you know,

sending and receiving money is totally free and fast. And most payments can be deposited directly to your bank account in just a few seconds. The cash app lets you do way more than that. Now you can even buy and sell Bitcoin instantly, get your paycheck deposited right to the app, pull money out of the ATM with their free custom cash card, or use it to spend anywhere you like. You really won't find a more useful app for your cash out there. So make the switch today and download the free cash app for iOS or Android now. And when you sign up, enter the reward code barstool to receive $5. And then cash app will also send $5 to ASPCA. So you're helping animals. But there's more PF PMT wants to give away some cheddar, download the app and tweet your

cash tag to at pardon my take. And we will reward a lucky award-winning listener with cash every episode. Hank, who did we give cash to? Sarah Honechish. Oh, sup. So Sarah's got a little extra walking around cash and you can do the same if you download the cash app, tweet us your cash tag at pardon my take and we will give a lucky award-winning listener. We do it every single episode. Someone's getting some free cash. We're also brought to you by Bud Light, the new Bud Light Lime and Orange are out now. Brewed with real orange and lime peels. It is the delicious summer beer. Think about it. Close your eyes. It's hot. It's, you know, you're on a roof deck. You're at the beach. You're grilling. Bud Light Lime and Orange are perfect for those situations.

Famous among friends. Check it out. The new Bud Light Lime and Orange are out for the summer. Make sure you enjoy a delicious, refreshing Bud Light Lime and Orange. All right. Here they are. Biz Nasty and Ryan Whitney. All right. We now welcome on the spitting chicklet, boys. It is long time coming here. Biz Nasty, Paul Bisonette and Ryan Whitney in studio. So apologies in advance for when this goes off the rails. But boys, great to have you here. Appreciate you joining us. I just want to say before Ryan starts talking, we have to do a disclaimer for journalistic integrity. He is a puppet of Gary Betman. He works for the NHL. Better than a Muppet. Well, anything that he has to say, it's actually Gary Betman's hand up his butt making his mouth

move. And while we're mentioning where people work, Biz, you want to tell the people? Phoenix Coyotes. An NHL hockey team. We're names Arizona now. Yeah, it's not Phoenix. Yeah. But we talk about gambling along our podcast and I just mentioned a lot that because I'm hired by an NHL team, that I'm not allowed to do that legally. I gamble my dick off. So we can talk about that here. Yeah. You're the worst gambler in the world. Your boss is Dave Portnoy, bro. And you're not exactly John Anthony. So let's, let's hold the horses here. That was a great movie. Come on here, bro. Great movie. Great movie. I remember the name of the movie. I remember the name of him. All right. Let's talk a little hockey to start and then we'll just let it go wherever. Okay.

We're taping this in the middle of the Capitol's Tampa Bay game. Let's just assume Tampa wins this game. Are you now, are we now flipping to the caps or have to be worried because they look like they were in total control? No way. For me, you, you know, you lose the first game at home, but you're thinking, all right, listen, we're still up to one and we have a home game coming up here. So if you lose game two, then you start panicking going back there for game five. But for right now, I mean, Washington's actually played good. I mean, granted, it's only the second period, PFT's having an ulcer over there watching them lose, but I don't think they have anything to worry about. I mean, they look good. Their D looks really good. I still like them to win the series.

That was my pick. Biz picked Tampa because he's an idiot. I got bad news for me. It's four one now. Oh, so I think, I think we can, I think we can write this one off for the cap. I'd like to jump in on the last comment there. Whitney bed on the light. Currently in the picks in our playoff rackets. I'm nine and three right now. He's four and eight. Oh, three and eight. All right. So what about three and nine? So it's two, let's just say it's two, one Tampa barring a miracle comeback. The other series, the lightning or sorry, the golden nights and the jets going back to Las Vegas. I'm sick of the, I'm sick of the golden nights. Yeah. I think you're kind of like, I think you're just like forcing this take a little bit. No, I'm not forcing it. I just like

the Canadian teams. Shout out to business. I'd like to see a Canadian team being the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in like forever, but don't you, isn't there something about like the pregame ceremony that as a big hockey guy rubs you the wrong way? They're kind of a little too show. They're like, drop the fucking pot. They're the NBA of the NHL. I can understand that, but you have to think of it on a money side of things like they're, it's Vegas. They're there to entertain. They're there to put fans in the seats and everyone's getting fucked up. There's no, you know, they can drink all game. Don't swear on this podcast. Seriously? Yeah. Only you. You can cuss. I was grandfathered into the cussing. Yes. So I think we already did. No. Yeah. I'm gonna swear.

Okay. Don't put us in mental pretzels, but they can't physically bully us. Oh, okay. I think that that entire pregame ceremony is based upon the fact that they're like, all right, people are probably on Mali shrooms, LSD, everything. I mean, like, should you're in Vegas at a game, you're waffled. And so let's do something early to at least get these people like, what is going on? Distract them from the play because we don't know how this year's going to go. They went into a thing and we got to distract them from what this team's going to do in the ice, all these scrubs and has beens. And then it's just been, the thing about them moving on is like, I feel like for you, you'd love it. I mean, it's, I will say the one thing you make sense is it's not a

great look for the NHL in a sense that I understand it was different this year in Vegas drafted specifically rear at actually explain this to me. Vegas drafted specifically to win right now instead of like, all right, we're going to try to build this. No, it's not true. Okay. So explain to me. No, they wanted, no, they wanted to load up on assets on the back end. They ended up getting a good squad based on the rules, but they did. So how are the rules different? You, you, usually you had, you, you, you were allowed to protect, I think five defensemen and nine forwards. And I don't obviously my numbers going to be a little off here. It's not like I work at NHL network. I wouldn't know anything like, but now I think it was, I think it was, I think it was

six forwards and three D they were only allowed to this time. So every team is just a bigger pool of guys to choose from. Got it. And they got a goalie dude. I mean, that's smart by the NHL too to try to get your team, your expansion teams good right away, build the fan base. It's just, you know, you guys, a lot of time on part of my take, it's like hot seat, right? Who's on the hot seat? Yeah. Every GM around the league is like, all right, this team's lighting it up. Like my owner is going to be like, why the fuck is in your team? Right. So everyone's on the hot seat besides Vegas. Hot seat NHL. I love it. Hot seat NHL. You know our league. So my take is right. Well, no, but I still think, no, that, that, that kind of goes away from, I think it would be really

cool to see them in the finals. And I think I know this is like a little overstatement that, you know, it's not, hockey is not that popular in America, blah, blah, blah. We know all you basketball peasants. But to have Vegas in, I seriously think like any mainstream media is going to be involved in it. It'll be a, it'll be a way bigger story than if it's Winnipeg, Washington. Well, and the fact that just more media go because it's Vegas like Nashville. Honey, I got to go do the cup finals this year. Like you cover cricket. I'll see you in a week. Ryan taught me a new term tonight, manrocket. He said, he said that, uh, Willie was a man, a man, right? Man missile. Man missile. Yeah.

Man missile. Which one? Which one was it? You get audible. You get audible at the line. There's a bunch of different ones. There's a bunch of different ones. What is a man rocket? Just a good looking fucking NHL. There's a beauty. No. No. Come on. That's a good guy. You can be ugly as shit with a big snout and big ears and be a beauty, but to be a man rocket, you got to be hot. No reason. No reason. Big snout. That was a quick one. This has an absolute snout on it. From a, from an actual hockey perspective, I haven't paid that much attention to the Winnipeg jets. Like what, why are they good? Because they fucking dominated the nights of first game. They got a big mobile team and they just cover

a lot of ice. I mean, look at all their top players. I mean, Blake, big buff. I mean, you're familiar with him. Why don't you talk about it? Well, I love big buff. Well, you're in Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. No, I said that he, he, when big buff first came out, like you did not think he would end up being as skilled as he is now. He's cause his game was different. He was cause he was asked to do different things with the blackhawks. Blackhawks said he was the second worst draft pick the blackhawks ever made when they picked them. Unfortunately, the story is in school because I don't know who the first one was. I keep reading the article. What big buff is, is he is a playoff hockey guy because you need those bodies and the guys who get the

dirty goals and shit like time, big time. But I've said this about buff. He's, he's a, he's a big piece. He can't be the guy cause last year when he was more of the guy in playoffs, he got running around a bit, not trying to do too much. And who they got beat out by Anaheim. They got swept. They didn't make the playoffs last year. I don't think dude. I think they got swept by Anaheim. Maybe it was two years ago, they got swept. Um, when he's now, you guys have a set. Yeah, we have, we have Saber metrics. We'll, we'll correct it at the end of the show. No, but I wanted to say PFT that you, I want to get respect out to Mark Shifley. I don't know if you've been watching the West carpets. He's a, I'd say superstar now, Shifley.

Ooh. He's, he's incredible. And so he, like, people are starting to realize who he is. Kind of Ryan gets left ish, um, dominant player and he's, you know, the best forward up front. And then they have guys like Lion A, we didn't even mention. They're just, they have the best forwards in the league and their goalie's been great. Their goalie set the record this year for most wins in the regular season by an American goalie. So, so you would say they're a better you'd say they have a more forward depth than, uh, every day, every one. Really? Everyone. Wow. Okay. Everyone. That's, I mean, he's the expert. Yeah. I would say it's pretty close. I mean, I, I'm okay with giving Winnipeg the edge, but you're not even like, you're not

even maybe debating. He's not embracing debate. No, he's not. He's not, he's not embracing debate. How about this embrace debate? We talked about a little bit earlier on the, uh, on the periscope live, but Brayden Hopebe's beard, his playoff beard, is it too much? Cause that is a fucking neck beard. That makes Andrew Luck look like he's got a Sydney Crosby beard. We've got Winnipeg doing doodles and business on bump. No, I'm, I'm going back to see that. This is how, this is how I like just my brain. Because when I said that they got swept by Anaheim in the first round, he dismissed me like I was a peasant because they didn't make the playoffs last year. Okay. That's fine. But I might have been two years ago. To PFT's question about playoff beards.

Yeah, dude. It's a nasty neared. Um, I mean, but it's good. I mean, in a sense, like, he's kind of, it looks like Hank actually. Yeah. No, but Hank at least, he trims it off. Hank, Hank eliminates the neck part of his neck. Actually connects like to his nipples. You know, I know it wasn't the lines fault, even though I got back there and Peyton called me after and said, you got to go to dinner. I gotta get rid of that ball. This is the worst. I gotta get rid of that. You know, I can't take that sack. That's all my fault, but that one's on me. Fucking say something honest. Oh man. You fuck.

Biz, tell us your best story from when you played in NHL for like three games. Big catchman just hard. Oh, he's on me too. No, I mean, I got decent stories. Where's the Chicago one? Okay. I had my, I had my first ever rookie party in Chicago. And while we're at Gibson's steakhouse, we don't pay for another three days. So we're there early. And there was actually, Hawks were playing that night at home. And you know, they always have a rocket shoot for the empty net. You, they took it away, but yeah. Oh, why? Cause it's, it's the times of change. But they always pick two ugly guys and then a hot chick. So then nobody would say shit.

They usually pick one little kid, an ugly guy or Mr. T. Yeah. And then like, Zah, Nate, go ahead. Rocket. Yeah. Margot Robbie or some fucking rocket launcher. That's a girl. So she's shooting. I'm like, I'm like hooting and hollering. The whole room is because we have a private room at Gibson's not a big deal. And after the game, we ended up going out to some club called Covey. And this girl walks in and I'm like, I'm like, man, that's the, I think that's the fucking girl who shot the puck.

And the boys are like, shut up, bitch. You idiot. Like how, you know, how you do all the time. Yeah, fucking nice. Now you pussy. Anyway, so I'm like, that's the girl. So I call her up. I say, you the girl shot the puck. She goes, yeah. And then behind her was fucking Danielle Puyatt. No shit. Taylor Puyatt met his wife at her rookie party. So it was her friend Danielle. It was her birthday. They were out. She was shitfaced. I call her over and she goes right over the man missile. Daniel Puyatt, Taylor Puyatt, who I was talking about.

Yes. Best eyes ever. The guy who, the guy who I told you out there. So you introduced him to his old lady. Yeah. You probably went to the wedding. Oh, you're a matchmaker. That's a great story. And did you, uh, how'd it go with the friend? Oh, no. So one of the other guys on the team ended up crushing the Franks. A lot of excuses. A lot of excuses. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what happened was this guy came on.

I was like, this kid. I got one lined up for the next night because we were staying there and, and she worked at the Hermes store down by the Burt, the Barney's. I know I was 15% off now. She gave me some discount code or crocodile leather. That's a good story. All right, Whit, you tell your best story. My best. That wasn't my best. No, that was your best story. That was for your best story.

That was your best story. And your best story was there was one night I didn't get late. Yeah. The time I didn't fuck the hot check. Great story biz. The time they found out I was a healthy scratch the past 19 games. It didn't go well. Oh, yeah. So we, how did that, how did that? Because I remember, you know, you were in the bar stool.

You've been a bar stoolie forever. I was the first athlete stool. Yeah. So I remember like rooting for you when you were in Edmonton and they started healthy scratching you. How does that like, what happens when that, when, when you start getting healthy scratched in an NHL game, like, are you just like, fuck this. I want to get out of here. Only part of my take, you come on and they just get to tell his favorite story ever. And I get to tell a boat and my career fell apart.

Scratch. Thanks a lot. I never got a scratch. Yeah, I know. Because you never played a minute. You're just a kid who sat and chirped people from the stands playing your video games, being fucking Steve Connell Walchuck in the 97 finals. Pretending not to care about anything. You got damn right. That was me. And hiding his real feelings.

Yeah. Well, what happened for me is I busted my ankle up. I was actually having the best year of my career in Edmonton. He's like that guy in high school to make. He's like, yeah, I knocked up my girlfriend. You're gonna throw all those mountains over there. Knocked up. Yeah. One coach fucked me.

No, I got my busted up my ankle and I really couldn't skate again. And then it just started snowballing. I was terrible. I was going out for dinners. I'd be cutting up my steak. I think I've said this on before and some guy had come up. You suck Whitney. I'm like, dude, I'm trying to eat my filet mignon.

Not a big deal is 57 bucks. Couldn't eat. You probably couldn't even afford a fucking appetizer. But it was a tough go for me in Edmonton. It wasn't great. It really wasn't. Yeah. One of my favorite stories though.

And I just thought of this. Me and Skiddiary, Rob Skiddiary. We got crushed. We stayed in Montreal after the game. We won. And you never get to stay over really in the NHL. You usually got to get right out. So when you play and you can just chill in the locker room

and then go out. So we got crushed in Montreal and we get in the car. Get outside the bar. It was like 2.30 and we're loaded. I get in the cab. I'm like, Ritz Carlton. Yeah, we stay at the Ritz. Ritz Carlton, the driver's French.

He's like, what are you talking about? When I was like, Ritz Carlton. Driver's to the fucking Ritz Carlton. And he's like, guys, Skiddiary's like, will you just drive us to the Ritz Carlton for Christ's sake? The guy's like, all right. The Ritz Carlton. It was 20 yards away from where we were.

And you know, the meter's like 425. I was like, here's five bucks, buddy. Sorry about that. I had Skiddiary tell me that story. Oh, Rick, it must have been really hurt. Oh, Skiddiary. We had another story. I won't even say who the guy was.

He came back late one night in Long Island. He went into the city and shows up the next day for the bus at like six in the morning, seven in the morning. Cab pulls up and is like, oh, that's got to be him. He gets out of the driver's seat, dude. In the middle of the ride from Long Island, the cab he pulled over on the highway is like, I can't drive anywhere.

I'm fucked up. So then the kid had to finish the ride and the taxi back. You said, Biz, you said that the NHL has changed though. Guys don't go out like they used to. Yeah, I think that's when my career kind of took a spiral and so did Ryan's. Yeah. I think he's planning on his ankle.

But we're a little old school in the sense where we like to go out after games for about 30 beers and just a couple of casuals. Yeah. Well, when I came in, when we came into the league, I was like, lie low to line. You guys remember lying low to line? Oh, man, that guy.

Long career, tough as shit. He actually will remind you every day he has the record for most assistant in game by a Montreal defenseman. Five assists one day. Broke Doug Harvey's record. So he, my rookie year of training camp, he's like, hey, kid, you know, I was a defenseman.

Let's go out to lunch, kid. Take you out to lunch. He starts ordering beers at lunch. I'm like, what am I going to do? This guy's a veteran. Yeah, I can't say no. Next thing you know, it's 730. He's like, hey, can we get the dinner menu?

And we're still boozing. I was like, this is training camp. I'm trying to make the team. Legit. But guys, it was just way different. Lie low to line guys refused to go out to lunch with them because they knew it was going to be dinner. An Odie lunch.

They gave home at three in the morning. He could drink a case of beer a day, just get up like it was nothing. What do you call them now? Hockey nerds? Yeah. I mean, it's not like a chirp either. What's different is these kids are playing at 18 now.

It's like, it never happened before. Maybe a kid drafted first overall of play the next year, but it just took years. And now, when you're drafted, I mean, I think right after the draft, there's 10 guys in the league the next year. Right. And you talked about it out there and how these kids,

like if something goes wrong, they're like calling their agent instantly. I used to have Michael Tarian as a rookie in pro hockey, not even the NHL. Business agent blocked his number. Yeah. Yes, I could have called my, oh, but if you make a mistake, he sits you down in front

of the boys and he just belittles you. You get like tears rolling down your face, calling you a pussy and you're never going to play again. You're going to send you to the East Coast Hockey League in Wheeling, West Virginia. I mean, that sounds rough. This guy told the guy in the minors, he goes, how does your wife fuck you?

That's a coach talk. A coach in pro hockey. But now saying that, it like maybe become a man because you got to like take that shit. You know, like you're getting fucking, you make a mistake, you're going to get reamed out. You don't get sent the fucking HR. So HR can be like, hey, you know,

you kind of fucked the company over for 25 grand. But it's different now, like, and what happens is these younger kids, like, they didn't speak, dude. I didn't say a word. I actually made a biggest mistake. My first game in Pittsburgh, Mario Lemieux, was playing Mark Recky. And I was the loud guy in the minors

because I was, you know, I had already played here. Yeah, me, can you believe it? And so I'm sitting there and I'm tying my skates and, you know, usually in the minors, I'd be like, hey, let's go buddy, let's go buddy. And I was like, all right, I'll do the same thing. It's the NHL and I was like, all right, wrecking ball, fucking right there, wrecking ball.

Mark Recky's got like 1,300 games at a time. And everyone's just like this. Shut up. Like, dude, don't speak in this locker room. And now these, I mean, these kids are, like, running the show and you can't say anything to them. Changing the stereo and you're like, yeah, you just touched the stereo?

They're putting Gucci gang on. You're like, what the fuck? If you take away business stereo, what's he got? Yeah, he doesn't play. I hand out the tape. I keep the water bottles full. And that was my job. I was, it's hard.

It's a hard job because you got to keep everybody happy. You never touch a Canadian man's stereo. Don't change it off tragically hip. Or is it going to come out to you? Jacket. Well, no, I mean, you just got to mix it up. Somebody likes country. OK, well, the euros need a little fucking disco in there,

you know? Yeah. No, Radislav Klesler comes in and says, I want them disc out. Well, are you guys like old grumpy NBA players that are like, the game was better in my day? Or do you acknowledge that? No, no, way better now. No, because my knees explode trying to keep up.

The game is so much better now. And when you say old and grumpy, there's a generation above us that the best players didn't make much money. It might be like two above us now. Oh, yeah, they're better. But for me, like, I love seeing guys get paid. Like, my favorite players are the most overpaid players in the league.

I'm like, yes, get as much money as you can. Where there's older. Ricky Pietro, you've got to like, He's a BU guy. You've got a huge poster of him on your. I don't know him personally. But no, like, you know, a lot of guys, and there's like current GMs, I think of that,

like, we're good players and would have made now, you know, enough to not do anything the rest of their lives. And they're just kind of bitter about it. Whereas I love seeing guys get paid. Now they got to do, like, Pietro's stuff, going signing tours just to, you know, make a couple bucks, pay a mortgage. I want to ask that old ad.

You know who complies about that a lot? It's Gila Fleur. He's always in the Montreal meeting, ripping guys for making money. It's like, hey, man, fucking inflation. Like, I don't know. I wasn't your fucking agent. Right.

That's not our fault, Gila. I want you guys to talk real quick about the Russian credit cards that you brought up earlier. What's that about? He, I mean, I just hurt. I don't know that. No, I just, I've heard some rumblings. And it's been confirmed by a few guys

that like Putin basically hands out credit cards to all these high end Russian hockey players like Malek and, you know, Vetchkin, where basically they could just go, like if you say they want to pop bottles one night, they just go. They just put it on the Russian credit card. Just like some Russian billionaire.

You never had some Russian billionaire. You ever party on the Russian credit card? One game in Washington, I went to a Russian after hours and all those guys were there because I knew Mike Green when he was playing Washington because we'd won an under 18 gold medal. We were given, we won an under 18 gold medal with Team Canada, not a big deal.

And so I looked, linked up with him after the game and he brought us to this like underground Russian club that all these guys were like hanging out with KGB dudes. It was a little shady, but I was hanging out with Ovi. I didn't give a fuck. Oh, exactly. I mean, they had that website like where the like all for Putin. Like, I don't know.

Yeah. So, well, that was mostly Malek and that did that. You could tell that. I think Ovi was part of it. Ovi, you could tell they kind of twisted his arm is mostly Malek and deal. Like twist your arm like, hey, here's my question to you. Would you care what political views

the guy had if he gave you an unlimited credit card? Absolutely not. Yeah, you gave me one. It'd be tough if he killed people. But yeah, probably. Well, if he killed journalists that I did like. I don't read the news, so I don't even know what you're talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my information I get from inside hockey locker room, so it's macy's stories about guys crushing chicks from Bumble. But what happened with the journal? Did Putin? I was in Moscow when that happened. Oh, really?

Yeah. It was a Ukrainian man, I believe, who really was outspoken against him. I was leaving four days there, and they were like, yeah, that guy got gunned down in the public the other night. I was like, holy shit. Here's the thing. If you turn down the credit card,

then that makes you a target. So it's like either you go out, and you have a great time all the time, and you don't pay for anything. Do you think they're required? Or you get killed. It's the easiest would you rather ever. So here's another thing.

Do you think Malcolm was required a certain amount of Instagram and Twitter posts for the credit card? I think Malcolm's the ringleader behind this whole thing. OK. So you think he's doing it out of the kindness of his heart or lack thereof? Yeah. Coldness of his heart.

The coldness of his heart. I think Malcolm is an evil person, and Ovechkin is a great person. I don't know. He posted that. Caps fan, dude. Here's the thing. Malcolm posted that pic with Putin,

and he's kind of like clowning him a little bit. I don't think you clown, Vladimir. I mean, he kind of, OK. I actually get worried sometimes when I talk about KHL stuff. I know. I think you're going to get gunned down. There's like some side of it.

Oh, shit. We're journalists. At some point, well, they're like, I just realized that. But I loved him. Russia was the best. The food was incredible. Um, where do you guys think that you could have shut down Vladimir Putin one-on-one?

Because he scored five goals on his birthday. Yeah, but he had scored seven a year before. Yeah, I gave you that fact. So in that, oh, did you? Yeah. Was that yesterday? Yeah, it was. It has been a long week at the office here.

He can't even skate for Christ's sake. I mean, yeah, I could shut him down. You just said you don't want to say bad things about him. But I'm also honest to the game. OK. That's like, that's above. A hat trick. What's a five goal game?

What do you even call that? That's a flat. That's a Putin hat trick. That's a Mario Lemieux, the only guy to score five goals in a game all five different ways. Never heard of even strength, shorthanded, power play, penalty shot, empty net goal. Woo.

Empty netter. The icing on the cake. I don't think that'll ever happen again. That's nice. What's going on on Bumble there? You, you, we think we've lost you there, Bizz. Nothing. OK.

Well, Bizz, give us a couple. We'll wrap this up in a second. But give us a couple of hockey lingo terms that we haven't had in a while. You gave us the, what was it? The grocery stick? Yeah, I mean, awesome. Yeah, grocery stick.

You're a grocery stick, weren't you? Yeah. I've just heard it so many times. I just, it's kind of lost its, lost its. You're a pigeon. Yeah. Pigeon's a good one. Muppet.

I like the way it rolls off the tongue. Yeah. What else you got there? Muppets get a little old. Whit doesn't like Muppet anymore. No, no, I, I never said it. Dude, I made it. I just said the joke one day and then this office,

whatever I say, it just ends up catching fire. Yeah. People are using it against me. Yeah. Everyone loves you. You know, it's just unfair when that happens to a guy like me. But like hockey, it's really actually hard to think of hockey terms when you're,

if we're in the locker room right now, they'd just be flying off our tongue. But right now, when you're just like sitting here with these two clowns, you've never played a day of hockey. This is our locker room. Yeah, locker room buddy. This is our locker room. It is.

You guys have your own slang, like all the No, we don't do inside jokes on their show. Brace the bait. Yeah. Kind of shit. Whoa. Like, no, but like you say that a lot. That's your, like that's your thing, right?

We stole it from ESPN. But yeah, it's our thing now. Look at me ESP. Who's the captain now? Usually we steal the key to this podcast and we steal things from ESPN and then make them funny. No. And then people get mad at ESPN when ESPN says it.

When a guy's just having a tough practice, like, you know, he's been out. Okay. You're just like, mix in a water. That's the one that always came in. That's the one all the time. I like when a guy's losing a lot of face off from the other team and he's visibly upset, you just go by and you say,

Hey bud, hit the race bucket. Hit the race bucket. Is that, does that, to make your forearms stronger? It's like a picture, you know. A lot of, a lot of guys just like, what the fuck? Like they're just like so flustered. Like they don't even know what you're saying. It's the race bucket.

Or people like, you know, you just. It's more to make yourself laugh. You're missing that on a breakaway. A guy's left. You're like, you're not a righty bud. Well, actually when guys would take penalty shots and they would have a bad one and they would go by our bench and they were righties.

I would say, Hey, try mine. He's never, he's taken a stick one time. He never had to re-tape it. I had my skates untied at that point because it was a shootout. I'm like chirping guys on the bench. So, wait a minute. You had to, you re-tape your, your stick using different color tape.

No, I was like white tape. No. Did you do it one time to like mix it up? Yeah, I tried one time and then I missed a wide open net. I'm like, here, it's not the tape job. I agree that that's. It's the Indian, not the arrow. Yeah, I agree that that's kind of like a beta mentality move

to be like, Oh, it's the tape's fault. Yeah, but at some point in it, when, you know, things were going the way they were for me, I'm looking to change anything, boss. Yeah. I'm looking to blame whoever I can, not besides myself. Yeah. That's how we do it.

All right. Let's wrap it up with the C-keek question. Put in promo code take. You get $10 off C-keek. Promo code take, C-keek. All right. We got to do it. You were hot tonight when we were watching the,

when we were watching LeBron go into the locker room. We got to do it. We bashed basketball. Biz, Biz doesn't even watch basketball. So he doesn't even know how to bash it. No, he was bashing earlier today. Okay. I'll give it to us.

Let's go. We got 60 seconds. Let's bash it. Okay. Well, well, we can start at the top. Yeah. I'm not a fan of LeBron just the way he handles himself. I think he's a bit of a nose pick, but I mean,

but, but I respect his greatness. He's unbelievable. He just, he's so good. This isn't bashing. We're not respecting anything, dude. They fucking play music during the middle of the play. But they're like, hold on, hold on. I'm not a big kid, cutty guy.

Throw on some other rapper while I'm dribbling it up the court. It's like unbelievable, dude. What other sports do they play music in the middle of the play? It drives me crazy. And LeBron, he caught a pinky to the side of the head today. So he stayed down for 45 minutes. Make sure everyone could take a picture of him. And then he went in the locker room, five minutes later.

It's a show. Probably liked a couple of pictures on Instagram. And then he's like, all right, everyone knows him out. Let's go. No, he didn't do that because he's, what do you call it? Willis Reed. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

He checks out perfect booties on Instagram. Uh-huh. You were actually, Biz was saying earlier. He slid into someone's DMs recently or like a year ago, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah. That's right.

There was like a girl in the car. Oh, that girl Rachel Bush. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's a social security. No, I remember that story because her boyfriend's a, he's in the NFL.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Business talking earlier about how you don't have to watch a game till the fourth quarter, which that's what I'm saying. Last two minutes. Last two minutes. Exactly.

That's why I'd say last quarter. You know how like if football and hockey, it's like, fuck, they already used their timeouts. Like, oh, hold on. The basketball, he's got 43 timeouts left. Because he started with 75. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've only used 32 of them.

What do you need to manage them? We've got 40. Just fucking throw them. Give a couple away here. The guy in the crowd looks a little down. Let's give him a timeout. Yeah, yeah. He looks like he could use a timeout.

Basketball is the only league in the world where the coach will be standing outside like the semi-circle, draw on a play, like Tyron Luz, like looking over everyone. Yeah, and no one's paying attention. And LeBron's liking booty picks. What player are you going to do? Shut the fuck up, coach.

We got it. Go get me a soda. All right. Well, that was good. We're done? Spit and check. I could do this for another 30 minutes. Yeah, I know.

We should just do like group groups. This is like work to them though now. They're such that they lost their spirit. We're hacking nerds now. They forgot where they came from. They started for the love of the podcast and now it's like getting scared. Yeah, they're like, OK, are we up?

Are we done? Do we fit our quota? Who do you work for again? Should I read an ad? Yeah. Can you hand me an ad? Yes. Can we just have you read anything?

Absolutely. Read anything? Yes. Oh, it's off the computer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you do it off the computer? I've never done one off a computer. I've only read two and they've both been off sheets.

OK, hold on one sec. I'm going to get you an ad. Actually, no, I read one off my phone last night and it wasn't good. Yeah, we're not going to have you read it. I was looking for an ad and there's so many words here and I know you don't read well. Like, you're not going to be able to do it.

Yeah, it's a fact. No, I can do it. It's a fact, dude. I don't know, man. Wait, try this. Try supporting me in a positive manner instead of trying to like get me to fuck up and chert me with. Try.

OK, OK, OK. You can do this. This can do it. I'm going to stand over your shoulder and help you. OK, here we go. What kind of an ad is it, though? Is there going to be any tricky ones? Oh, my God.

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Listen to the spitting chiclets. Thanks, boys. No problem. You fucking killed it, man. I don't know. I'm going to try to beat Bisonet on that ad read. I don't think that I can, but I'll give it a shot. Everybody knows we're big time football guys,

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who has an 80-game suspension coming up. He broke his wrist like a week ago. And now he has, that was pretty quick of him to do steroids for the recovery. Got to admire the hustle. That's ex, that's ex-dean like hustle to the pharmacy. Yeah, that actually, I just stumbled on the PR101. I think that's kind of obvious, but he just

has to do the anti-pettit. I was just trying to heal faster for my team. Yeah, sorry. Sorry for caring too much about the city of Seattle. He has to spin it into like, I was doing it for the fans. So it's actually your fault. Or what he could do is, in Rudy, where all the players lay their jersey down to get Rudy back onto the roster,

what he could do is he could say, I flunked the steroid test on purpose so that they'd bring back Ichiro. Yes. Good point. I want to see Ichiro play the rest of the season. Everyone in Seattle would absolutely love it. Everyone in baseball would love it.

He retired this like a week ago. Yes. But yes, bring him back. But bring him back. Everyone wants Ichiro back. So he very selflessly gave up his spot on the roster for Ichiro. Yeah.

You also just blame it on like, don't they serve crickets in Seattle or something? Yeah, their ballpark has like, I think, like fish testicles. Yeah, just be like, I don't know. I ate something at the ballpark. Yeah. It's weird. Yeah, I did the, I went on a ballpark tasting tour

with Darren Ravel. Yeah. And he made me like lick fish vagina or whatever. Yeah, just drinking their smoothies. Yeah, well, no, it was actually maple syrup drizzled fish vagina. Yeah, it was stuffed with bacon. Yeah, with bacon.

Truly epic with sriracha. S'mores came out of it. It had sriracha and bacon, and it was epic. It looked like a cream pie out of the fish vagina. It was s'mores, though. It was marshmallows. Delicious. I knew I shouldn't lick that fish pussy.

You want my Rick Riley? Yes. Robinson can't say no to steroids. OK, I give it a 1.2. What? I thought it was like a 1 and 1 half, at least. What about, where do you give it, Hank? Robinson can't say no to steroids.

Because it's like, can't use the user's hold in the last day. I'll give it a 1. OK. I was thinking about going under. It wasn't great. What about this one? Robinson, more like, Robinson, yeah, no. Because remember, we started saying, yeah, no a while back?

The hashtag? Yeah. No. Classic. You guys brothers? We should start doing that, just bringing back like 90s. We should bring back 90s comedies that we think Trey Wingo would quote if the year was 2002.

Oh, like a Trey Wingo time machine? If Trey Wingo got so blasted before teeing off, what? I mean, he would absolutely quote Tommy Boy. Tommy Boy, what's the one I just quoted? What's the brothers, Chris Catan and Will Ferrell? Oh, Night at the Rocksbury. Night at the Rocksbury, for sure. Wayne's World 2?

Yeah, oh yeah. Not the good one, the bad one. Oh, a lot of Austin Powers. Oh, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? He would make a fucking killing off of Do I Make You Horny? One billion. The Panthers have been purchased for $1 billion.

All right, we have a, we're getting a little loopy, but I think it's fine. It's OK. Well, the Trey Wingo time machine, that's fucking Hank, write that down. We can make millions off that shit. Oh my god. Can you imagine like, can you imagine being in your 30s

and working with Trey Wingo and he exclusively speaks in caddy shack quotes? This is one of those ideas is so fucking stupid and I don't know if it's because it's past midnight, but I just keep laughing about it. Felt I owed it to them. Yeah, so I got that going for me, which is nice. And we'll be back, Wingo and Goliak in five minutes.

Now we're all going to get laid. Oh man. OK. We have a, will that make sense? Qatar, Qatar. Qatar, Qatar. We agreed to the rebrand that when they got the World Cup, we agreed that we were going to stop calling it

the problematic name and it's a brand new country. What's the problematic name? Well, it's Qatar because that's the country that had like a bunch of slave labor and stuff. Now it's Qatar. Totally different. They're rebranded and they're totally above court. Oh, it's just an emo teenager.

Qatar is now paying for the Washington DC Metro to stay open late for Caps games. Just on Thursday. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, well, that makes sense. What the fuck? I don't know. I honestly don't, the DC Metro is so fucked up

that they don't stay open for late Nats fans. And sports down. Which is, well, they, you know, they twist the arms of the fans. That's why Nats fans have to leave during all their playoff games. In one series. But my theory on this is that there's like probably one senator that is taking bribes or in business with Qatar.

He just loves golf and Qatar. He loves Qatar and they're just like, oh, Tom Cotton wants to go to the Caps game on Thursday. So we're going to pay $100,000 so he can get a subway home. Or reverse, there is one, what do they have? Who's in charge in Qatar? The prince. The prince in Qatar is just like the biggest OV fan,

like Kim Jong-un loving the 90s bulls. And he's like, you know what? We got to make sure that the fans can get home. Well, now let's, let's dive into that a little bit. What is the Russia connection to Qatar? They're close together. Well, let's, let's put on our hashtag resistance hats and start to connect the dots.

They're close together. The Tom Cotton, the senator I mentioned. Eric Kushner probably got an email. Here's, here, check it out. Sir, Tom Cotton, the senator I mentioned, was the one that kind of undercut the Iran deal. And so that, having Iran have nuclear weapons makes Cutter's position in the region stronger

because they probably don't like Israel. I don't know if that's true or not. Don't fact check that. Okay. And so Russia is now supporting Tom Cotton because he nuked that deal. And then they're paying for him to go to Caps games as a way of bribery.

Sir, retire, resign, resign, sir. Cutter, resign, sir, resign, sir. Jared Kushner has been text messaging with someone from Cutter, resign. We figured it out. Embrace the bait, Laurel Yanni. So the internet does this every now and then. The dumbest fucking debates possible.

And this is coming from the guys who just created MJ versus LeBron.net. And Trelingo Time Machine. Yes. The dumbest debates possible hit the internet. And this one takes a cake and like every dumb stupid debate on the internet, you find yourself caught in it and you just can't get out.

Like it's one of those things where you're smart enough to realize how stupid it is, yet you cannot stop listening to it and being like, I have a strong take on this. Laurel Yanni, when I first heard it, I thought it was, it sounded like a 60s sitcom. Yeah. Laurel and Yanni.

So Hank, we're gonna let you be the final arbiter for this. So we're gonna play it for you and you tell us what you hear. So here's the audio. Laurel. Laurel. We want the debate that's Yanni. Okay.

I heard Laurel. I heard Yanni too. Okay. So, all right. All right. Play it one more time. Yanni. Yanni.

Fuck. Did you hear Laurel that time? I think I heard Laurel. Shit. That's it. That's what happens. Laurel. Okay.

All right, stop saying Yanni. Laurel. We gotta pick one where, honestly, I listened to it. I heard Yanni. I heard Yanni to start the day and I heard Laurel at the end of the day. I shit you not.

I fucking hate the internet. And now they're selling shirts, Team Laurel. I'm staying woke on that. I think that it was Laurel to start the day and then they just uploaded a different file and they're like, okay, we're gonna fuck with everyone's mind. Damn it, we need to do this.

We need to create a dress and just fuck with people's brain. Also shout out Laurel, one of the best challenge competitors of all time. Also shout out Yanni, one of the best adult contemporary musicians of all time. Yeah, getting a lot of, getting a lot of shouts today.

All right, Hank, guys on checks, let's do it. Thick cat. Oh. My boyfriend goes to the gym a lot, but is still overweight. He's been going for a couple of months now, but not much is changing. How do I encourage him to hit the gym harder

without being a bitch? So, okay, I know exactly what he's doing because I do the same thing. And it's no secret when people say it's actually not about working out, it's about the diet, because what happens is, like today, for instance, I went to the gym

and you wanna give me a clap. Snaps. Good job, good job. I went to the gym. But because I went to the gym, I was like, I can eat anything I want. And then I way worse than I normally would have because I went to the gym.

So that's what your boyfriend's doing. So tell him to stop working out. Yeah, stop working out and start eating healthy. Well, yeah, if shit you're not. If you stop working out, then you'll start eating healthy because this is my workout. And it's more important to eat healthy than workout.

I get into the phases where I'm like, I went to the gym so I can eat all the protein in the world that I want. And then I just end up eating like three steaks a day. Duck fat fries. Duck fat fries. That's protein. Look it up.

And then that turns out very poorly. Stop PMT boys, especially no one. Whenever I try to have a serious conversation with my husband about our children, he always congratulates me on the sex. That was kind of early into our relationship with this listener to drop the husband bomb. Can you use Schrodinger's cat

or something to make him stop? No, you know what? Because you sound like a real wet blanket. So maybe have a little fun with it. It sounds like he's trying to liven things up around there a little bit and joke around. Yeah, maybe laugh once and he'll stop saying the joke. You should smile more.

Yeah, wear something pretty. Chicks love being told that. Some boys, especially Big Hat, why is it that guys are so stubborn when it comes to asking for help or directions? Because we know everything? Yeah. Yeah, that's my excuse.

I've got a really good sense of direction. I think it's actually, I think it's genetics. I think honestly, when a guy is made, there's like something in our computer chips that's like, hey, even if you don't know the answer, just say you do, because you can't show weakness. It's a confidence thing. It's like, if we're back in caveman days

and you're walking around with us and we're trying to find the luscious meadows with the ripest berries and the easiest to catch game, we're looking for that meadow and we can't find it. We have to ask another man to tell us where his meadow is. You're gonna go fuck that other guy as well you should. Also guys found out at an early age that if you just answer something with confidence,

99% of the time, no one's gonna question you on it. And the 1% they do, you fucking fight them. Yeah, and the 1% that checks it is a nerd. Yeah, right. And then you're like, wow, look at this person. I triggered you so bad that you had to check and make sure that what I said was wrong. Triggered much.

It's a revel. Sub-PMT, I recently graduated from a small university where one of our football players was drafted in the NFL. He's been DMing me on Instagram both before and after he was drafted. Unfortunately, I already have a boyfriend. Our NFL player is almost a foot taller with great hair. When is it?

It's overrated. This is already been decided by the way. When is an appropriate time to break up with my boyfriend for him? Yeah, you know how I knew it was decided? When the first word to describe it was like, unfortunately. Unfortunately, my hands are tied. Unfortunately, I'm really tall and has great hair.

On one hand, I can see the allure of great hair. On the other, no one really likes tall guys anymore. So I don't know if you really want to make that decision. Also, the real answer is once training camp cuts happen, because small school, you're probably going to want to make sure he makes a team. It also matters what team he got drafted to. So if he got drafted to, we've been shitting on him.

Labor day. But labor day is when you need to, labor day is when you hit him back up. Yeah. We can probably figure out who this guy is, by the way. Yeah. Tall guy, great hair. Small school.

Small school. All right, last one. Sub guys. My due date is this coming Saturday. And I've been told to bring adult diapers to the hospital for post birth bleeding. Nice. Do you guys have any diaper recommendations?

Yeah, the ones that they sell for dogs in heat. I got those for my dog like 15 years ago, when I had a yellow lab. Worked really, really well. Wait, you had another job? Yeah. Don't ask. I don't want to go down there.

What the fuck, dude? She was so sweet, too. Why'd you do that? Well, I'm trying to educate. So the problem with buying your dog diapers is, Did you know you had another dog? The tie, the fuck? Sometimes you forget to take the diapers off

when you leave them outside. And then they just go outside and they just pee in their diapers. And then you have to take those off and change them. Love you guys. Love you guys. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie.

I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie.

I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie.

I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. I miss you, Doobie. It's part of my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.