Pardon My Take - Judd Apatow, Final Four And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

It’s finally here, the show before judgement day, UNC/Duke. (00:02:26-00:22:41) The guys get ready for their trip to New Orleans and talk Bruce Arians stepping down plus Schefty got paid. (00:22:42-00:31:49) Judd Apatow joins us in studio to talk about his new book, the evolution of comedy, George Carlin and more. (00:33:00-01:09:39) We finish with Fyre fest of the week (01:10:57-01:22:32)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we are about to embark to New Orleans for the Final Four. We'll talk a little of that. We have Bruce Arians stepping down as head coach,

totally on his own volition. We have, let's see, Schefter, re-signed. We'll catch up on all the news. We have Firefest, and we also have a great interview in studio with Judd Apatow. We're going to do that all in a second. We were brought to you by our friends Ed Venmo. Venmo, Venmo, Venmo.

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During basketball season, they will send some of you a free $500 or sending out $100,000 in free money to AWLs. Today is Friday, April 1st. I want Coach K to win. April Fool's. Good one. Yep, got it, there we go. Be very woke online today.

Yes. The brands were silent over the past couple of years. I feel like this is the year that they make a comeback, where you remember the original one, I remember everybody being fooled about, was actually kind of pre-internet, where Taco Bell said that they purchased the Liberty Bell? Yes.

Do you remember that one? Yes, yes. That was a genius move. I can now say it, because it's airing on April 1st. The greatest thing that's ever been said to me in the history of the world was when Frank, the tank, came up to me on Monday, and he goes, so big, cat, I'm working on my April Fool's joke.

And I was like, go on, tell me everything. I will not tell anyone, because I don't want to ruin it, but April Fool's, be woke. We are in the studio right now. We are departing for New Orleans, right after we record this. World War III, UNC Duke, Kansas Nova, Kansas Nova, it's so sad how much of an undercard it is,

but UNC Duke, this podcast might change forever, the vibes, Hank, how are you feeling? By the way, we will be recording time capsules over the weekend to make sure that we have, maybe even Saturday night, drunk, if something crazy happens, we'll maybe record something. This is a major futurist, because we are going to be out in New Orleans for most of the day,

and then we're going to go to the game, where they will be serving booze, and then we're probably not going to want, for the people. It would be funny for the people. I will say, let's think about it. I'm thinking right now, I'm thinking 70%, we're going to do a time capsule.

I think it tells me that it's entirely dependent on the outcome of the Duke Carolina game. I would say that's fair, that would be fair to say. Yeah, that's a good bet. My own propriety algorithm has the chances of UNC winning at 70%. Wow, wow. So Hank, how are you feeling going into it?

I feel good, I basically base my feelings on how worried you are, and day by day, it's kind of not to call you crazy person, but it's like, I'll come in, and before I go up to the suit suite, I'll come over and see Big Cat, and he basically just starts, he's already talking to himself,

just going through his list, and his ever-growing document of Coach K, like today I walked up, and he's like, you remember Stephen F. Austin? And I was like, it's 10 o'clock in the morning, like what, who cares? That was a crazy, crazy loss, because it was at home,

and they were like not even close to being ranked, and the way that they lost at the last, very second of the game on that layup. But the memorable part was three days later when Coach K said that he was dealing with an illness during the loss, and that's why he wasn't feeling himself, so really it doesn't count.

Verbal meme, you're the guy at the coffee table sitting there with a sign that just says like, please come talk to me about anti-Duke rhetoric, and I will engage with you. Okay, well, good, good. I'm happy you brought this up, Hank, because I live rent-free in your head. I have put together a document

that our very talented colleague Quiggs is working on right now to fix up, where it will be a piece of paper, double-sided, that people can print out. It will be the size that you can put into your wallet that just has a list of everything that pisses me off about Coach K, so when you see a Duke fan this weekend,

whether you're in New Orleans or in just regular life, you will have the information to fight back. Do you have the fact that he works at a private school, so there's no FOIA request possible? Oh, yeah, oh, well, we have a whole, I have a whole part that just Coach K cheats. Please note that everyone cheats. We don't care that people cheat in college basketball,

we just care the fact that no one calls out Coach K for cheating. Do you have anything about his military service record? I don't, that part is blank. I do have a fun fact that I threw out there to some of the Duke fans. Since the pros started playing in the Olympics, how many coaches coached, head coached

multiple Olympic teams? So Pop did it. Yup. Larry Brown, did he do it? He coached, but I'm saying multiple teams. How'd Larry Brown do? Multiple teams. Yeah.

I think if Larry Brown won as many gold medals as Coach K won, they would have never needed Coach K. Multiple teams, PFT, excuse me, the question was multiple teams. Phil Jackson. Nope, so the answer is just Coach K. So it's kind of an unspoken rule that a coach coaches the USA team,

then let someone else have a crack at it. Coach K coached it three times. Every other coach since pros started playing in the Olympics one time. That is interesting. And here's a weird thing. I don't know if this is related at all, but Coach K's recruiting classes, when he started,

averaged around 17th in the country by the end of his three Olympic tour that is just completely ridiculous. He was averaging the two and a half best class in the country. Maybe, maybe being able to call LeBron James on FaceTime or Kobe Bryant probably helped a little bit. Well, LeBron is basically a Duke alum. Yeah, that's true.

But I don't know. These are all these facts that I've armed you with. So make sure you take a look at that and print that out. I just walk around with that. I just think that it would be the best possible ending to his career if he were to lose against UNC. If he loses in the championship, that's not as good to me.

I don't want him to, if he makes it to the championship, you might as well just hand it to him because they're not going to let Coach K lose in the championship game. The perfect ending would be if he were to lose against his arch rival, UNC. You'd have to say his career would be a disappointment if it ended.

Legacy tarnished. And we all know Coach K doesn't care about money. He cares about the kids and championships. Because in 2004, he was offered the Lakers job. And he said the allure of coaching in college has no price. And then he went on to get paid double what Roy Williams got paid every single year for 17 years. That is interesting.

That's just an interesting fact to write down. Yeah, that's also in the sheet. So I'll be on the lookout for the sheet. I'm very excited. I think they're going to smoke UNC and then I'm rooting for. Why are you so confident about it? I'm actually very nervous. I'll be honest with you.

I do think that Duke is going to win the national title. I've kind of mentally prepared that in the back of my head. And so much so that I have a future on Nova and I'm rooting against myself because I think Kansas has a better chance of beating Duke than Nova shorthanded. I think it's nice that Coach K elected to step away from the game and hand down his coaching ranks

to one of his guys to let them take over. So that way they didn't have to fire him and then go about finding a new coach doing the whole search. All of his assistants would have gotten fired. I think it's just very classy with this done. This obviously will be a tough look for me. But we've been to many of these events big at UNI. And we've had stakes like this before.

And I just I know how it goes. We know how it goes. We've done it before. You know, we'll do it again and I'm just excited to relive that with you on Saturday night. There should be there should be some sort of wager involved. I I don't I have so much emotionally involved at this point that I don't even have to bet the game.

I'm rooting that hard. So Hank has to get a cat. Yeah. OK. Win or lose. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Win or lose.

Hank has to get a cat. Hank's coming home from New Orleans. If you see Hank out and about in New Orleans, like it's kind of like the rule, the old part of my take rule. If you see Billy in public, slap him. If you see Hank out in New Orleans and you approach him with a cat, he has to take it. It's like getting ice.

He has to accept it. Yeah. Bring all the take me and then just rub your face on the cat. Yeah. Bring bring Hank a cat in New Orleans. It's I mean, it's going to be great because we haven't been to a final four game obviously in a while.

Live sports rule. We haven't been back to New Orleans since the LSU national championship. Basically the start of COVID. That was the last non COVID event we went to. That was the last fun weekend in the United States. Yeah. It was that weekend.

Yes. And I'm so excited. Actually, I made a quick checklist of things that I want to do right before the show started because New Orleans is my favorite city in the entire country. Oh, wow. Maybe the world. OK.

I want to eat something so spicy that I cry. Mm. I like that. I want to purchase and lose a souvenir giant alcohol container of some type. Yep. I want to get slapped in a bar. Yep.

And. Bonk. What? That's not a bonk. I just want to get a boy or girl. Yeah, by a girl. Obviously, I updated it. And I want to make a friend named Cody.

OK. I feel like there's a lot of Cody's running around New Orleans. I know a couple. I've actually met on two separate occasions in New Orleans. Good friends named Cody. Oh, wow.

Cody's always a fun hang. Yeah. Dude, perfect. Isn't there Cody? I think there are two. That might be. That's why they're perfect. Yeah, it's going to be a great, great time.

Cogs for Caws will be out there. Cogs for Caws is going to be incredible. We had walk-ons on Friday and Monday. On Friday and Monday. Come out, say what's up. Yep. We're doing actually, this is a perfect time. We've got a new sponsor alert.

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Thank you to Raisin Canes, New Sponsor Alert. Raisin Canes only has one love. Cravable chicken finger meals. Order online at raisincanes.com. I think we're also going to meet the Raisin Canes dog, which I'm very excited about. And I will not be feeding him chicken fingers. I'm going to keep them for myself.

He probably does eat chicken fingers though, right? You'd imagine the Raisin Canes dog does. Absolutely. So, wait, what was I going to say? No, we're going to be at walk-ons. What else for New Orleans? Are you, I don't think you're nervous enough. You're confident.

I am confident. He's cocky. I am confident. Well, so this is, all right, so when Hank was telling us. It's like a scale and Big Cat's fear is picking my confidence up. So what I've noticed in this dynamic is last week, when it was the Texas Tech Duke game, the game of the year,

Hank was walking around telling us how nervous we were. And that's how I can tell when Hank's nervous. Big Cat telling Hank that Hank isn't nervous enough is a sign to me that Big Cat's nervous. Oh, I'm very nervous. I am so nervous. What's at stake here? And obviously, it's not like I hate Coach K and you love Duke.

But I'm talking about for other fans. I'm nervous. I'm actually nervous for UNC fans and Duke fans alike, even though I hope Duke fans suffer. But this type of game where the stakes could not be higher, I was trying to think about it. There are no, what would be a similar situation in college sports?

Because if they end each other's season now, they never get to end each other's season. It would be Ohio State, Michigan, and the semifinals. Yeah. I also think a comparable one that you were involved on the right side on is a perfect season. The fact that you guys, the Kentucky perfect season, that is the stakes were that high, higher than just

a regular game. They were super, super high. It's like a perfect season is hanging in the balance. Yeah. So perfect season definitely has it. But I know that the joke that we keep making is like, oh, they've never played. Have you heard that stuff?

But it is kind of crazy that they've never been in a situation where they could, someone's season ends. Someone's season is completely over. Because even when you look back, which it's crazy to look back at that game, Coach K's funeral at Cameron, I would say that neither of these teams would be here in the final four if that game didn't happen. Like UNC gained a lot of confidence.

And Duke figured out, like, holy shit, we can't just show up and eat people. They got the chip on their shoulder in that game. Now, if UNC wins, what are the chances that Coach K delivers a speech after the game? Like, saying goodbye? I want that. I absolutely would.

I don't think he just leaves the arena. It doesn't even talk to his own players if he leaves. He's probably going to invite himself into the UNC locker room and try to give a speech. Like he did when he lost a 14 seed Mercer. And he went and tried to coach the other team. And it just happened that all the cameras were there and caught that on camera.

And who was the kid that he said, you're too good to be celebrating like that at the end of the game? Well, which time? It was Dylan Brooks. And there was also Virginia Tech in 2007 when he did that as well to Zabean Dowdle. So he went up to a get. And he also lied about that one when they asked him afterwards.

He's like, no, I just said, I congratulated him. And both players are like, no, no. He scolded us. Yeah, it turns out Zabean Dowdle was not too good to be show voting at the end. That's actually a perfect use of Zabean Dowdle's time. Yeah. It turns out a college kid who has like the best

night of their life is going to be happy about it. Zabean Dowdle beat Duke. That's his career highlight. He was well within his rights to show off. Do you know what a weird one that I found today that I kind of respect in a fucked up way? How do you look for these? Can I ask that?

I have a sheet that I went off and I added to it today. But like, do you just go on Google and just like? A message board. Searching for game laws. You go on stuff. If you search for quotation mark, D-O-O-K in quotation mark, then you get to the good message boards

of all the other ACC teams. And they have their own lists. And I think it was 20, I can't remember when it was, what year it was, maybe 2020 or May 2019. Coach K said that the fans should have given them a standing ovation after they beat Florida State and they don't know how to cheer correctly.

And then he showed old clips of Cameron Crazies to the fans scolding them being like, this is how you do it. Which I like respect that kind of fucking senile craziness. Which he's not senile because he's been doing this his whole career. That's the best part. I love that.

Yeah. Coach, in a weird way, the sport will not be as enjoyable without coach. I absolutely admit two things. One, he is the best college coach of all time. I will admit that. Two, I will miss him because I hate him so much. And that's what's the beauty of sports.

His hating things is just as fun as rooting for things. And yeah, it'll be fun. Jake, how are we feeling? You're credentialed. I am very excited. I got my suits packed. Suits, plural. Yeah, Saturday and Monday.

Can you ask coach K Bob T. Goddett? What's up? Are your suits packed? My suits? Why would I be packing a suit? We're going on a work trip. I don't need a suit. I thought that was your thing.

Nice dinner. Maybe I'll pack a suit. You should. You're talking to me. You know what? Fuck it, I'm going to pack a suit. There we go. Ask him about Pete Goddett.

We can work out a question. That's like in the middle of something you had asked and something I would ask, but not something that I would get weird looks at at the press conference. OK, then here, how about this? Do this instead. Ask when Pete Goddett took over for Duke

because coach K had such bad debilitating back injury that he couldn't walk. Why then did Vince Carter go on a recruiting trip to coach K's house and said afterwards he was up and about and he didn't seem like a guy who had a bad back problem? That's interesting. I would want to hear the answers to that question. I have so many facts.

Has a spoils a little too far for me, but I'll keep thinking. Aren't you happy, Hank, that I have found a passion? I don't know. I'm worried about your health. I am too. No, this is fine because it's all building up for one moment.

And then we're either going to get the ultimate crash. There's passion and there's obsession. Yeah, well, that's fine. Listen, when Big Cat says someone's living rent-free in your house, that's fine. It's fine. Like having somebody live rent-free in my head if they're a famous person is totally normal

because it brings up the property value of the rest of my brain to have somebody like that on my block. Yeah, sure. You can live. Yeah, LeBron can live rent-free in my brain. That's totally fine. I've been roommates with coach K for the whole month. We've just been hanging out in my brain together.

It's fine. I'm fine with that. There was one person who tweeted me that made me a little more nervous when he's like, all this legacy talk with coach K, why aren't we talking about your legacy if coach K wins the championship? And I was like, oh, shit.

Yeah, it does turn into your legacy. My legacy is ruined. Although at the same time, it's good to have something that you can always bring up in perpetuity against Big Cat. If you're ever mad at him about something, it'd be like, don't do this. He's the guy that got owned by coach K? Don't do this.

To a permanent extent. Many times, yeah. But you're feeling good. This is your first final four you're ever covering? Yeah, with the credential, yeah. I love it. I love it. I'm so excited.

Where do you think you'll be sitting on Saturday night? Way up top. Nosebleeds? Anything but the roof. I mean, even if I'm in the building, that's all I care about. Yeah, what if you're not? What if they're like, hey, we got a seat for you. It's actually in this truck and you're going to just wash it.

That would be interesting. As long as you get the land, you should do a Diet Coke review. You have to walk out with the cups. It's only the NCAA cups. Oh, yeah. It's on that sign in the tunnel. All right, I want everyone to be following Jake this weekend documenting everything because you've got to document it all.

It's going to be great. But I can go on the court pre and post game. That'll be awesome. Wow, would be a shame if you trip someone. Someone who's like 75-ish. What are the rules about leaving banana peels in front of the coach's box? I would like to bring a laser like they did to soccer players.

That was crazy. Yeah, those lasers were nuts. Yeah, yeah. That was who was it in the NFL? Was it I want to say the Raiders and I want to say it was Connor Cook that got lasered in one game. That was that the game in Mexico? I think so.

Yeah, yeah. It's very funny to see someone getting laser. It's always a shock to me that it doesn't happen more often in the United States. Yeah, yeah. Either way, I'll be at Coach K's last ever press conference. It depends if it's Monday night after a win or a lost Saturday or Monday.

I don't think he's going to do a press conference if he loses. I really don't. I think he's going directly to his car and leaving. Last post game press conference, I should say, because I guarantee he's going back to Durham for like officially farewell. That's where around the friendly media, it's either people that have been sucking his dick

for 30 years or new student journalists that he's too mean to. So they're afraid to ask him anything. I like this PFT. Let's go. I mean, get that hate out. No, everything you said is true. I like Duke in the 90s.

And then Coach K turned into a real weirdo after that. And I was like, you know what? I'm out. I'm out. I really don't dislike Duke. I don't dislike Coach K. There's one person in this building is the reason why I want them to lose this year. And it's not Hank.

Smart. Marty Mush. Yeah. Yeah. Contentious. And I've been open about that. It's not like a secret hatred. See, this is good to get the hate out.

Yeah, get the hate out. Like this is it's hate week. You know what? It's good to have hate. Like Coach K attracts people like Marty Mush. That's the biggest indictment that you can make on it. Yes. Look at who is look at who Coach K's acolytes are.

The real riders of Coach K. Yes. Just scum. Just scum. The hate week is great. Billy, what do you hate? Give us something you hate. Because I've noticed all week, like I've been I've

been replying to people more on Twitter and like just had. I've been at like a fever pitch all week. Someone pointed out to me. I was like, you know what? Because I'm I'm on high alert. It's not a normal week. This is World War three in college basketball, Billy. Mark Zuckerberg.

Yeah, let's go. Jeff Bezos. Yeah. There you go. Eat the rich, Billy. Yes, Billy. Libby football. Libby football over there.

Fucking love it, dude. Put a rose next to your name on Twitter. All right. What else we got to talk about? Bruce Arians. That was very expected. So much so that I think we talked about it many times. So there are a lot of people out there that are

mostly Bucks fans that are just reading the press releases and regurgitating what they're hearing, which is, oh, this was just a personal decision by coach Arians to step away so he could get his guy Todd Bulls installed and they wouldn't have to do a coaching search and fire all the assistant coaches. Now, I think what really happened here is people with brains will agree that there was some sort of deal made between Tom

Brady and the Glazer family when he went overseas to the soccer game and he told them that he was going to come back and then on the condition that Bruce Arians is no longer because Bruce Arians is a I like Bruce Arians. I think he's an awesome football guy and he's a hilarious individual. Yeah, but yeah. But I also think that Tom Brady after two years of dealing

with Bruce Arians, basically calling him out and blaming him for losses and Tom Brady being like, wait, I'm Tom Brady. Right. That is going to get old pretty quickly. It's two things can be true at the same time. Bruce Arians is a great guy. Bruce Arians has done a lot for minority hires, for female hires.

He's very much from everything you read about Bruce Arians. The one time we interviewed him, he cares deeply about his staff. He cares about setting everyone up and the success of the people that work underneath him, unlike maybe a Coach K with Tommy Amaker kind of thing. But Bruce Arians, that can be true and it can also be true that Tom Brady was like, yeah, I'm coming back, but Bruce Arians can't be my coach anymore.

Yeah, and people are saying it's a coincidence. The report that, I forget the guy's name. It's NFL Stroud. Yeah, he's a Bucks beat writer. He's probably the most plugged in guy with the Bucks. And he was saying that either the day that Tom Brady decided he was coming back or the day after was when Bruce Arians all of a sudden decided that he was also not going

to be coming back next year. And it's like, wait, that's a pretty big coincidence. The only thing that I could think of, Hank, and you'll appreciate this, that would be close to that, is if maybe somebody decided, they started dating a supermodel right after, the day after they broke up with their pregnant girlfriend. That would be kind of a similar coincidence.

For a second there, I was like, wait, is this J-Lo or an athlete? But I think he's talking about Brady. Yeah, allegedly. Hypothetically. Like, the day after, it's weird that he met Giselle like the second after that. Well, you would assume that. You would assume if that what you put forward that the person

who got dumped would hate Tom Brady and would never say anything positive about him or support him, right? No, well, it's funny you bring that up, because in this situation, Tom Brady showed up to Bruce Ariane's retirement press conference, sat in the front row, big smile on his face, put out a great statement talking

about how wonderful a person he is. Bruce Ariane's had nothing but nice things to say about Tom Brady himself, too. So I think. Seems like you're a conspiracy theorist. Do you think the slap was fake, too? No, I think the slap was very real. Interesting.

I'm just happy that this is happening, because when PFT started that joke, I was like, holy fuck, is he coming at A-Rod? And then when I realized, I put my sword down, and I was like, oof, I can sit this one out. You guys just go for it. Now, to be fair, I haven't brought that up in probably like four years.

I used to bring it up a lot more often. Yeah. And then, yeah, like Bridget's just been nothing but supportive of him in the past five years, so it's kind of a tough sell. No, it's just interesting, that's all. But I think anybody out there that's making the argument that this is a coincidence is just

delusional. Did you see that there's also, I read somewhere that like Bruce Arians and the Bucks had to clear up one formality at the owner's meeting, and that's why it was announced today? And it's like, wait, what? No, I think it's probably because you wanted to put two or three weeks in between Tom Brady coming

back and Bruce Arians retiring. I mean, like I said, we all saw this coming. We talked about it. I don't think, like Bruce Arians, I don't know what the criteria for Hall of Fame coach is, but he's an all-time coach. Yeah, I also think that Tom Brady was sick of dealing with him. And the Antonio Brown thing definitely plays into it,

because it's very clear this has happened twice now, where Tom Brady has vouched for Antonio Brown, wants Antonio Brown on the team, because guess what? Tom Brady's a psycho competitor in the best possible way, and he wants basically as much help to win a Super Bowl, and Antonio Brown would have helped them win a Super Bowl. So when that falls out, it's probably like, well, fuck you, dude, why couldn't you just figure it out

with Antonio Brown? He's a really good receiver. And I also fully believe that we're never going to hear from Bruce Arians or Tom Brady or the Bucks anything to the contrary of what they've already said, which is like this is the story that we're going to stick to. But I also think that you can add one and one together

and see exactly what's happening. Yes. Also, Todd Bowles coming back, Todd Bowles, my top 10 NFL head coach. He might be right away with his team. Sometimes you just say things out loud if you have a take, and then you look dumb for a couple of years after the fact. But then if you wait long enough,

guess what that takes coming back around? If you win a Super Bowl in his first year with Tom. I don't think any head coach has won a Super Bowl in their first year with Tom Brady ever. Wait, was that the first year? That was. Yeah, that was the first year. That was definitely the first year.

Well, Todd Bowles also won. Todd Bowles would become as most recently as could be. Todd Bowles would be the first coach in NFL history to win two Super Bowles in their first two years with Tom Brady. Yeah, yes. I mean, Todd Bowles is one of those guys. Like, it will be fun to see how he does this year, because it's one of those experiments

that we get ever so often where it's like, was it the Jets or was it Todd Bowles? Like, when we got Sam Donald going to the Panthers, it was like, was it the Jets or Sam Donald? Turns out both. Yeah, and they're going to keep Byron left with you around. And so he was the guy that was calling the plays last year. Yes, yes.

I think the Bucks are just going to be back to being good. They're going to be really good. In the NFC, like, they now, the craziest part about it is Matt Rule is the longest tenured coach in the NFC south. That is crazy. Right. So, I mean, it's and you look at the flaws of the other teams, and then you have Tom Brady and the continuity.

It's like, all right, Bucks will be in the playoffs. I'm going to miss seeing Bruce Arias on the sideline with his face turning progressively redder as the season goes on. I'm going to miss the strap that he had across his stomach. To say B.A. B.A. Yeah, B.A. was cool. He had awesome hats, good transition lenses. Yeah.

He's going to be in the front office now, which I think they're just I think what the Bucks ended up saying was, all right, Bruce, you can still come to games and it will be an open bar for you. Right. Right. You can be in the suite with the Glazers and you're good. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And if you want your parking spot stays there, if you want to come hit the hot tub, whatever, you're good to go.

Schafter got paid. That's the other news. He got paid. He's staying at ESPN. Congratulations. We lost in the bidding war. He's he's done a tremendous job increasing his own value over the course of the last couple of years.

So yeah, it would have been weird if Schafter went to like a gambling company. Yes. And everybody would just completely 100 percent doubt every report that he put out. They'd be so mad all the time, myself included. Yeah. And it would be weird for the most powerful information broker in the NFL to also be working for a company that sets lines. I mean, you know what?

This is a benefit if you're a gambler. Because if you work for a company like MGM, then they would adjust the lines before you were able to get a good hit on it. So we all actually won. Yes. And Adam Schafter's negotiation. Yes. By the way, PFT, quick, just text me. Look how beautiful this is. That's very handy.

So it's about the size of a debit card. Yep. And it's it's double-sided. And I'm going to tweet it out so everyone can walk around with their Coach K factoids. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Just doing something for the people. Anything else before we get to Judd Apatow?

Leroy reported that Tiger Woods is coming back to play in the Masters. Ah, he had a hot scoop, hot source. He said that he's like 85 percent sure on it. OK, so that's more. That's way in percent from an hour ago. That's that's way, way more sure than he usually is on this type of information. So he is a ghost dog, but he's also a good dog. So we're rooting for him to be right on this one.

All right. I mean, it's going to be great if Tiger Woods is playing in the Masters. How do you boop a ghost? I don't know. I think you just I'll buy a Ouija board. Yeah, there's right boop on it. Should we bet? Can you ask Leroy if we should bet on on Tiger Woods? Yeah, I will. OK, I'll check in with them. I think you kind of have to for the story, right?

Like, even though the odds are probably like it's probably bad odds because everyone bets on Tiger Woods, but I don't imagine if you won. I think that the the PGA tour golf in particular is probably the toughest sport to say, like hashtag PGA rigged. Yeah, because there's a lot that that the actual golfers have to do. There's no referees and we have Max Homa on next Wednesday. So we'll transition quickly from New Orleans to the Masters. Great interview with him. We already taped it.

He's going to make the cut. He's going to make the cut. All right. So let's get to our interview with Judd Apatow. Before we do that, you have to get a quick word from one of our sponsors. Yeah, before we get there, I want to talk to you about Mountain Dew. I got my Mountain Dew spark right in front of me this year. Mountain Dew signed a new roster of athletes, ballers with personalities as bold as their flavors and the ability to ignite a stadium full of fans.

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So be on the lookout for that in the coming weeks. Mountain Dew will be there. And now here's Judd Apatow. OK, we now welcome on recurring guest, Judd Apatow in person. Last time you're on, it was via Zoom. You have all your work from the pandemic out this week. It's basically everything is out. Yeah, so three twenty nine sicker in the head.

His new book is coming out and a bunch of new interviews with comedians. And I was reading about it and, you know, in-depth interviews with some people that everyone knows, great conversations. And then your new Netflix movie, The Bubble, coming out on April 1st. So everything is out right now. And there's more in May on HBO is a two part George Carlin documentary. OK, so you, we could say, Judd Apatow is in the news this week. Workaholic.

Well, I like to get it all done at once, because if I spread them, I got to I got to go do all the press. Right, right. Exactly. I just stack it all up. Exactly. It's Judd Week. Yes. So what's what's the one if you were to tell people, what's the correct order to consume everything that you're putting out? Is there a beginning, middle and interesting?

I mean, I think it's a pretty good order because you'd start with the book. You'd learn about the people who make comedy, their problems, their emotions, their process. Then you'd see The Bubble. We'd all commiserate about what a nightmare. A lot of the lockdowns were how crazy we all went. And then you'd land at the George Carlin documentary as he dissects what is wrong with society.

That would be the flow. And George Carlin is a great person to have a documentary about because every time like something happens in the world, George Carlin has a stand up bit that's like, oh, he predicted this or he's exactly correct about this. Sometimes in like 1971. Yeah, like and it is really weird. But a man who has been dead for about coming on like 14, 15 years.

When things happen in the news, he trends worldwide because of just a video where he was the commentator on it and he either predicted it or just captured what was fucked up about. Right. It's always perfect. I also feel like with Carlin and Orwell, too, is kind of like this, where anytime something happens, no matter what side of the political spectrum you're on, yeah, people like cherry pick things that he says.

And like, they both they would have been on my side on this. Right. Right. Because he was a free speech absolutist. He thought that less speech was much more dangerous. Yeah. And he also came from an era where you could go to jail for speaking your mind or cursing. He would get fired from clubs and concerts if he spoke out against Vietnam, things like that.

So but he didn't live long enough to see algorithms and, you know, YouTube and Facebook and the way things get distributed and how people are hypnotized by what's going into their feed. And I asked his daughter, Kelly, what would he think about all of that? And she said, there's no way to predict it. And whatever it would be, it would blow your mind. Right. Right. But she's like, there's no way to know what he would make of it.

Yeah, you can't say like, oh, he would have hated this. Like, you know, definitively, because you don't. That's the genius of George Carlin is he has a take that's no one else had thought of. But he basically was disappointed in people. I mean, that was his thing. He was an idealist who became sad that we didn't take better care of each other,

didn't take better care of the world, the planet. And he felt like, you know, corporate interests were taking advantage of all of us and wanted us dumb and just dumb enough to help them make money. And that that was his general philosophy. OK, so maybe he would have hated it. Maybe we can't say that. I think he would have.

I think he's been proven to be extremely correct about everything. Yes, yes. So I want to we said it right before we started that we have a problem with King of Staten Island, which we I love that movie. Yes. And I don't want him to get blackball because he didn't ask us to do this. Yes. But you cut too many Jimmy Tejro scenes.

He's a good friend of ours. We love Jimmy. We love Jimmy. Do you? Well, here's the thing. You know, when you do a firehouse and you got eight guys in the firehouse, what you're trying to do is give everybody a shot to score. Right. You know, but if you let one person fully dominate, then you got seven large men mad at me.

Right. Right. And so but yes, Jimmy is so hilarious and it's a favor for us to us for him to be in the movie. And there's definitely moments when you're shooting and you're like, I wish that this movie would have a major Jimmy storyline. Yeah. Because obviously he's a he's a big star and should be a bigger one.

Yeah. But that's a frustrating thing for me. Generally, even in the bubble, there's so many incredible actors and actresses. And I think they all have their shots and they score big. But most of them deserve their own movie. And that's kind of how I work. Like Jonah Hill has a couple of lines in something like Forty Old Virgin.

And then we go, I think he should be the lead of the movie. Right. And then we try to with people figure that out. What do you do with all of that footage of because, like, you know, reading about it and obviously watching all your films. There's an element of of letting the camera roll. And I think even said Fred Armisen in the bubble. Like when he's going, you just let it go.

What what happens to it afterwards? Is there going to be a project at some point where you go through it all? And because I'm sure there's sure hilarious moments that we never see. Well, like we put together this like five minute documentary about Fred's character, the director of this dinosaur action movie,

you know, who won Sundance with a movie he made while he was working at Home Depot called Tiles of Love. And we have all this extra footage of him directing everybody. And so that's online. You can you can find that maybe on the bubble Instagram or something. And so we keep making fake documentaries about the Cliff Bees world and about our world making it. And then we'll put up all the deleted scenes

somewhere on YouTube or something. I mean, Blu-ray is gone. It used to be a fun place to store all of that. And I don't think that the streamers have decided that they want it there. So unless you're like a criterion edition Blu-ray, it's a little tricky. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that the switch that we've kind of been forced into over the last couple of years watching movies at home,

do you think that's something that's going to like that's the new normal that's here to stay? Or do you think that that something about going to the movie? Because I went, I went to go see House of Gucci. Yeah. A couple of months ago. And, you know, that's not really a movie that you need to see on the big screen. But the experience of being in a movie theater is something that like you forget how much better it is until you actually go experience it again.

I feel like we've kind of reached that point now where it's going to take a big event or a big like blockbuster action movie to get everybody out of their own homes to go to a theater to watch it. I just hope that it doesn't continue down this path. But it kind of feels like I'm fighting against windmills. If I try to like get people to go back to the movie theater, you know, I don't know what'll happen once people are feeling better when the pandemic feels really over.

Because I remember before the pandemic, there were like big movies like the Tarantino movie and and maybe it was the Wes Anderson movie before that. They just made a fortune. They were like really big movies and people wanted to see a good movie, an original movie. And so like I saw a licorice pizza pizza in L.A. And I thought in normal times, that would probably be a pretty big movie.

I don't know what it did now. I saw the Batman the other day and that was incredible in movie theater. And you would hope that just like young people go, oh, I love the experience. Maybe I'll go see a comedy in the theater next. And not I just need to see, you know, crime. Yeah, we saw Jack asked forever in the theaters. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. That's true. That's a lot of fun.

Oh, I got to see that. That's my favorite stuff. Oh, my God. The best. It's awesome. We always talk about how you could play that type of movie for anybody. Maybe going back to caveman times for like any culture. My cat. My cat will laugh at it. I mean, that's what I go to when I want to hard laugh, because a lot of comedy is like emotional or, hmm, you know, like you don't really laugh, but you appreciate the joke.

And, you know, there are only a few things like Sasha Barron Cohen's work or Jack S. Where you actually lose your shit. Yeah, you can you can turn your brain off. Yeah, we laugh. We did a two thousands comedy draft on one of our podcasts. You're called the dog dog walk. Obviously, your films took up like 65 percent.

Oh, good. The entire draft board. But I took super bad number one overall in the entire draft. I think that if I were to ask you, like out of all your movies, would you agree like that is the funniest of all of them? I mean, that's right up there. I mean, it's tricky because, you know, we work so hard on all of them. But I remember when we showed super bad for the first time,

it was at a like a in the valley, like in Burbank. And I asked Cameron Crowe if he wanted to come to give us notes. And it was the first time the audience had ever seen it. And it the place exploded. It was like a Led Zeppelin concert. I mean, it was the you just reaction. So that's always right near the top. The other one that I think holds up is Will

and Adam McKay's movie, Step Brothers. I feel like that one is just aging very well. Every time it's on, you just can't shut it off. Yeah. And I remember when that one came out, people didn't like love it right away and then it slowly became, oh, this is an incredible movie. Yeah. Yeah. That's a movie that gets you through like some rough nights.

Yeah. You know, if you're having a bad night and you put a stepbrothers, it's going to do something. It's a stop on your TV movie. It's like Goodfellas, Step Brothers, Shawshank. If you see it, you just stop and like, all right, this is what I'm doing for the next couple of hours. So you're I mean, your career has been incredible. You're now what, 30 plus years into it.

Has there Jesus? Is there is there a point where that's not a terrible? Yeah, that's 30 plus years of incredible work. Is it harder, though, as you get older and like, you know, you're obviously have wealth and you have fame and your, you know, life is kind of settled. Is it harder to find that creative itch like constantly? Is it harder to be funny when, when, when everything's more

like, OK, you're not this like 20 year old trying to scratch and claw your way to the top? I'm always fascinated by that because it does find at some point in someone's career, it's like, all right, I've reached it. What do I do now? Well, you can just say I just want to do nothing, right? Like that could be like if you love leisure. I don't really have a hobby.

You know, I don't want to golf. I don't do anything that's very time consuming. So I'm always interested in how can you make these movies better? Can they be deeper? Can they be funnier? Like, how do you go hard funny? Like with the bubble, it was like, this is like, I don't know. It's like a Mel Brooks, Tropic Thunder style movie. Like I've never done that tone before.

It's a little less emotional and a little nut, more nuts. And it's there's no way to know if it's going to work. Right. So it always puts you on your toes because how do you know if a joke is going to work? There's every joke, like with drama, you can't tell when people are going to cry. Like, you know, when people are going to feel, you could do it not the best version, but but a joke is a mystery every time.

So it always keeps me interested. And I always think that you can do it better somehow. So I just never lose interest in it. OK, I mean, that's a great answer. I mean, that's kind of, I guess you're right. Like you get to a point, like, unless you have these hobbies, what else are you going to do? You're just going to try to keep entertaining people that along that line.

The bubble, like a lot of it or piece of it is the idea that like famous people, actors, comedians, they always have to be on for the people and hit that, you know, dopamine rush of I made someone laugh during the pandemic. Was there anyone, you know, to say specifically, but that you knew or in your life where it's like, oh, they're kind of falling apart, not being able to, like, hit that button constantly. Oh, to get there. Yeah, because I mean, we struggled with it, too.

You know, we have sports. We talk about sports most of the time. There was times where we're like, this this really sucks. You know, sports like we watched. We reviewed stupid, you know, you know, reality shows. So Big Cat created a fictional video game coach that would play in games. And he was a college coach named Coach Dugs. And he would compete and like go through full seasons.

And because people had nothing to do, that was the only sports that they could watch. Yeah. So it was like, yeah, we've we've lost our minds. We had 150,000 people watching me play a fake national championship game online. We had confetti and cigars and trying to find that thing of like, what what do we do? Did you did you struggle with that? And did you see other people struggling with that? I'm trying to think of like what other people were doing. I mean, I think that we we're all crazy enough to just start working.

I mean, the thing about comedy is you can just take a year to write a script so the world could shut down and you just go in your room and create some fantasy land. I mean, for me, I look at it like, wow, that must have been a real two year nervous breakdown. If I worked on a four hour documentary, a book of 33 interviews and a feature film that I made in a year from the moment I thought of it till I handed it in like that's yeah, that's like I should seek help. Yeah. But I didn't realize it during it. Yeah.

I just thought, oh, we're making a movie. It's nice to get out of the house and and yet I'm juggling the other projects. And Billy Eichner is gearing up to shoot and and you don't realize what you're doing till six months later when when we're talking about it. Like that's a lot of stuff over a short period of time. I guess I really didn't want to sit in my head and think about life too much. And it's also, yeah, to think about it in the moment, you're not like, you just got back to work.

You found a way to get back to work, which I know that that did fascinate me with the pandemic because there was that moment where it was like, you know, a month or two months, three months into it. It's like, all right, so what are we going to do now? All right, well, let's try to figure out how to get back to work. Yeah. And I guess I think there was probably a moment in the beginning where I thought I was resting, right, you know, for a few months. Like, oh, I can shut it all down.

This is so nice. Maybe I'll just interview some people. I'll just interview a few people. Maybe I'll just start outlining this movie and then you know, you're in London like building dinosaurs. Yeah, that's just like what you do, you know, like you can try to stop it, but eventually you'll find your way back there. We're going to get back to Judd in a second before we do. I want to talk to you about visible.

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no family or awkward personal commitments needed. Check out visible, you can get it for as low as 25 bucks a month. That's a single line, unlimited data, talk, text, and hotspot. For data management practices, learn more at visible.com, additional terms apply. I was reading a Wikipedia page, that's how I do most of my preparations. It's all on there. This is probably extremely accurate. But it said that you did four tracks on Adam Sandler's 1996 comedy album,

What the Hell Happened to Me. Is that accurate? That is accurate. I'm a part of that. I'm a part of Cock and Balls. I'm part of Sex or Jim. Yeah. I play the cop in one of the cop sketches.

And yeah, I'm on three or four. I think maybe I was one of the writers on the song, Steve Polychronopoulos. Great tune. So that was a funny moment because, you know, Sandler, especially at that moment, had so much energy to make stuff. Right. And he loved being funny and he loved making stuff. So the second there was a pause at SNL, he would just go in the studio and just start

making sketches and making songs. And he just loved it so much. I think he also enjoyed that he could get some of the best musicians in the history of rock and roll to make these epic comedy rock songs like Wadi Wachtel from Stevie Nicks and Warren Zevon's band. And he's got like John Lennon's drummer. And and he really enjoyed it. And there's just so much energy in those records.

I think they hold up and they get crazier as they go on. Yeah. Like the all songs ones are really funny. I mean, the goat opera. Come on, people. Listen to the goat opera again. I mean, that to me growing up, that was one of the one of the like focal points of me and my friend group was, OK, somebody would get their hands on an Adam Sandler CD.

And then we just sit around and listen to it. Like that was a that was a very big part of comedy culture back in the mid 90s. I don't see any. But nobody's really making sketch comedy albums anymore. Yeah, not in a while. Norm MacDonald made one back in the day. And not a lot of people know about that one. Medium Pace.

Remember that song? Yeah. That was that was a real good one. Yeah. What was the last great sketch comedy album? I don't know. M&M always puts a few sketches in between his tracks. Yeah. Those are hit or miss. Yeah. Well, maybe that's that's the next next thing. Yeah. Do you ever worry about like how your comedy ages?

I know that's a shitty question, but like we we obviously were not you, but we're in the same line of we produce content every day. And then if you're like, oh, would you say this five years ago? It's like, well, I don't know. It's a different time. I mean, for me, I really always thought that it was about immature people. So all the bad behavior in there is very purposeful. I'm trying. I mean, like if you watch knocked up,

they're trying to start an internet site that tells you where all the nude scenes are or the movies and they think they're geniuses for it. But it's in there because we're trying to show that, you know, when you're young, you have a few years to be a knucklehead and bounce around with your friends before you try to behave like normal people behave. And when he gets Catherine Heigl's character pregnant, it ends instantly. He loses that time of his life. And so there's a lot of things in it that I don't think are good,

but they're kind of bad because I want him to need to stop. Right. Right. It's kind of showing it. Yeah. I could see that for sure. So as you were as you were getting started in, I know that you like wrote for SNL, things like that, I would assume that most people that get into comedy do so because they want to perform their own comedy. And for you, you were a writer. You were writing jokes for other people.

Is that something that kind of you found yourself going down that path? Or is that something that from the get go, you found yourself being more gravitated to, to collaborating with others as opposed to making it for yourself? Well, I never got on SNL. I always wanted to get on SNL. I got some bits that I wrote. I wrote a monologue for Roseanne and some things with Adam that got on. But I was never there as a writer, which I always dreamed of doing.

I created the Ben Stiller show with Ben, the sketch show. And that was my, the main sketch thing that I did. But I think early on, just because I was such a fan, I just knew that I wasn't going to be like Jim Carrey and anyone would feel that way. You know, you'd watch Jim Carrey as a young person go on stage and improvise his entire set and all the stuff he could do physically. And his ideas were so bizarre and amazing. And I would, I would watch him and think, I don't think I'm going to be able

to do that. Yeah. And what am I going to be able to do? Cause I can write for that. I could help him with that. Yeah. But I'm never going to be able to do that. And then I would see somebody else like saying, I'm like, I don't think

I'm going to be able to do that either. And, and there's, you know, just like in any profession, any creative profession, some people are just way better than everybody else. I mean, if, you know, I just met Kenneth Branagh and you're like, yeah, there's a reason why he's Kenneth Branagh. He's better than everybody else at this thing. Or Denzel Washington. And that's how he felt as a comedy fan.

I knew who they, who the ones were that were going to break out. And I never looked in the mirror and said like, and me. Yeah, I think that's awesome though. I think that's, that's like a lot of comedians or a lot of people who are into comedy, like Big Cat was alluding to earlier. They love the dopamine rush. They love, you know, making somebody laugh, making somebody like them as they're performing it.

But there's other ways that you can get that similar sort of satisfaction. And I guess maybe, maybe for you, was it the satisfaction of creating something that brought joy to somebody else and watching them enjoy something that you had, you had a hand in making as opposed to delivering yourself? I think I had to let go of the idea that I was going to be able to do some of the things that they did as performers. And later on, I got to do a Netflix standup special. And I, you know, I just hosted the director's guild award.

So I get a little taste of being a standup comedian, you know, more in a Carl Reiner tradition of hosting and things like that, which by the way, I love, like I get to be funny on stage. I do all these events at Largo, but I wasn't going to be electric. And I did have fun thinking of things for people like Jim Carrey because you know, I remember I wrote a sketch with him for in Living Collar that they did. There was like four or five sketches that we wrote together. One was Dickie Peterson, Cherub of Justice, which is a little bit of a precursor

to the cable guy and it was just like kind of a loser guy who protected a 7-Eleven. And he was just in a 7-Eleven, wandering around, protecting it from anyone who might come in and try to steal anything. And they did it on the show and it murdered and they did it again. And so I would have these moments like, wow, I got to write for the best comedian in the world and see what he would do with it. There was another sketch where Jim was a self-defense instructor and he keeps giving a knife to the women in the class and saying, OK,

I'll show you how to protect yourself, come at me with a knife. And they would say, really? And he's like, yeah, come on, you won't be able to do anything. And then every single time they do stab him. And it doesn't very silly sketch, but Jim is the best performer ever. And yeah, the thrill of seeing that made me realize, oh, I do enjoy that. I have I mean, the fun of watching Fred Armisen be funny in the bubble is pretty up there.

Yeah. So Freaks and Geeks, high school drama. You know, you create that. It's 1988. It's set in 1980s. Your daughter now in 2022 is in euphoria. Yeah, that's a little bit of a change in high school. Yeah. What have you when you watch you for your like, is this what it is now? Well, maybe you the euphoria thing was happening in Freaks and Geeks,

but the Geeks never got to see it. Yeah. They were not invited to those parties. It's shock. I watched the first I have yet to watch the second season of before. I have two young children and I'm like dreading it because I'm like, it's going to even be worse in 10 years when they go to high school. So yeah, I mean, do you see that? And you're like, whoa, this is times have definitely changed. Well, yeah, I mean, it is it is very different.

But I guess on some some level, if you really broke it down, there's elements that are the same. You know, I remember that Paul Figo, he said that in high school, there were some kids that really wanted to grow up and be adults when they were trying to act like adults and then they were other kids trying so hard to stay children and they really were scared to death of everything and loved being little kids. And that's a lot of what he was writing about.

So some of that is the same thing. I mean, euphoria is a lot about like trauma and trauma of childhood that leads you to make a lot of bad decisions. And the second season is pretty incredible because they really it all builds to an idea that's kind of beautiful and emotional and surprising for how shocking so much of it is right that he had a large thought. It almost feels like the two seasons is one idea, one idea. But I'm I'm very proud of Maude.

I mean, she she she really does some remarkable work. Yeah. In the second season. Definitely. Do you think there is such thing as the Judd Apatow cinematic universe? Is there a storyline like seven years from now? Are you going to release a film? And it's like, this is what I've tied together throughout the last 30 years of my career. That's interesting. And just everyone is in one thing. Well, I love like when we do like this is 40 off of knocked up

get into the Greek off of forgetting Sarah Marshall. Like any time we can spin out something, I get a kick out of it. I don't know how many will get into the same thing, but it's worth trying. I think that there's like there's enough theories out there on Reddit and just on the Internet at large where they've they've probably already connected the dots for you a little bit. It's always funny seeing people do like the fan theories that if you present them to the people that actually created it, they would read and be like,

these people are insane. Well, it would be fun to try to make a movie where people just keep crossing through like Erica, the woman who worked at the like the Quickie Mart and Superbad that got robbed and just like, all right, I'm going to start thinking. I never thought about it this way. Yeah. But now I'm thinking about it like the last season of the wire. I remember like there was a big montage when the wire ended.

And then you saw that that one cop who had met this stripper season two and they'd shown they've never shown it before. He's married to her. Right. And there's a bunch of those that happen. Yeah. It's like the I mean Pixar does that, right? They put a they put like a little tickler to the next movie coming out where like if you watch Toy Story, you can see a car in the background that's going to be cars. Oh, wow. It's mostly people who have too much time on their hands, like just really

going through these movies. So the bubble, which again, is out April 1st on Netflix. Was there any moment while you're filming this? Because it's obviously a movie about doing a movie during a pandemic, but you also are literally doing a movie during a pandemic. Was there ever a moment where you got like confused with yourself? You're like, wait, so this is what which one is like mass protocols is a joke. But we also have to follow this. Like, yeah, the whole thing.

I think there'd be moments where I just get confused on my own idea. I think the main confusion was. Is this funny? Like there would be moments where we would be shooting something and it would be about like the stress of being cooped up. Say like we have two montages where people have to do their their two week quarantines and and everyone is losing their mind and we're montaging them falling apart.

And so it was a lot of improvisations of just people exercising or watching TV or crying or drinking alone or masturbating. And and then there just would be a moment where we look at each other and go like, is this funny or just real? Yes, actually, I actually tried to fuck that screen in my hotel last night. Shit. Yeah. So was there was anything that got added to the movie as you were experiencing the actual quarantine where you you learned or you had an experience

in the bubble and you're like, we this is funny enough where we should actually put this part into the movie. I mean, in a way, it's the whole movie is that, you know, we would have a conversation about something and then it would it would go in. And a lot of it was, is it worth making a movie right now? Like, is it worth the risk to have a crew and make and make a movie? Or is it actually not worth the risk and we shouldn't do it? And then that's what they're saying in the movie.

Like no one needs Cliff B six. We already have five of them. And you could say that about the bubble, but we're also making the bubble while making fun of people who think that they need to make a movie. Right. And then we would be like, but the crew needs work. Like, like you can shut down everyone's ability to make a living. And the crew is thrilled that we're making a movie and we kind of need a job. And I think people need something to watch.

Although is that arrogant to think they need this? You're doing the. Are we the baddies? This is where my confusion. Yeah, I see like a Mayan asshole for thinking I need to provide this movie. And then they say that in the movie. They're like, we're, you know, we're, we're very important. We're as important as first responders.

We're like giving people distractions. We're bringing them joy. And then are like, is that what we think we're doing? Yeah. And we kind of do. But we're also saying that we're assholes for thinking it. And then your brain just explodes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So you summed that up perfectly.

I have a general gripe against Hollywood. This isn't you specific. I don't actually think that you fall into this, but I'm using you as a proxy for yes, for everyone, the entity. Why do all movies have to be two and a half hours now? Why can't we just do a 90 minute movie? I mean, everybody has, has lifted up. I personally was always a fan of like the two, two, oh five comedy,

because when you, when you cut to 90, you lose most of the character work. So I was like, you know, if people could sit for another 10 minutes, you really get a lot out of that 10 minutes. And some people give me a hard time about it, which I don't mind. When I see him on TV, I'm glad I did it. But the two 35 to two 50 thing has really exploded a bit. But I have to say, having just watched the Batman, I really enjoyed it. It is crazy to see a movie that's like two 45.

You're like, I don't have the time for this. And then you just watch five episodes of the office. Exactly. Like, wait, that's what I would always say. Because people give me shit, but your movies are so long, I'm like, and then you'll fucking watch four hours of the bodyguard or whatever. So every time you're just like, wait, are you just sit on your phone and you watch two and a half hours of Tik Tok in like 30. That's actually a good idea for a movie.

Just just curate Tik Tok. And then put it on a big screen. And so everybody sits down. This is where it all ends. And guess the community. I think Rob Dyrdek did that already. Who did? No, I'm just kidding. Rob Dyrdek.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you just you just sit in front of a big screen, 30 second clips for two and a half hours. That would be good. But but certainly I've seen movies and I'm like, God, how long is this fucking movie thinking I'm in like hour three and I look and I'm like 38 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, usually it is. If you're in a world you love to be in, a lot of times you don't want to leave it.

Yeah. You know, like Avatar. Have you considered making a movie that's so visually appealing that people leave the theater and want to kill themselves because they don't live inside your world? I have thought about that. Yeah. Well, now that I made some dinosaurs and I understand like how it works. Yeah. I finally have done some special effects and some action. I I did create a world.

So it's so funny because I'm working with all the the CGI artists and they're the same people who make the Jurassic dinosaurs. But because we're a joke, they're pitching jokes and they're so happy to pitch. Right. Jokes. Right. And they're all like, what if their balls explode? I'm like, yes, good, you finally can get that in a movie. Yeah. What's that process like if you're working with a CGI person, like, do you see the initial like screen of what the dinosaur is going to look like?

And you're like, you know, what could we put? Could his could his testicles be bigger? I mean, I cannot tell you the amount of time I spent designing the penis of the dinosaur. I may have spent more time on that than writing the script because we there's a whole funny joke about what the penis of the dinosaur looks like. And we're like, it should look a little bit like it's translucent, like a jellyfish, but it glows like an alien.

And Fred has a whole monologue about it like it doesn't look like a normal penis. And and it is maybe the most detailed penis you've ever seen in film history. We have actually consultant Billy. Billy football is really into reptiles and amphibians. If you ever need a guy to tell you how to make different. Yeah, different penis. He's your cock guy. All right. So I let one last question. It's a row back question.

Go to rowback.com. Use promo code take you get 20 percent off. We have a Q zip for you if you want it. It's unbelievable row back. R H O B A C K 20 percent off with code take. All right. We play this with every celebrity, athlete, anyone who comes in the studio. We play this game. It's called when was the last time you deleted a tweet?

Oh, that's funny. When was the last time you deleted a tweet, Josh? I did one this morning. It was, you know, it was about the environment. I like your strategy. Just ignoring. That's the way to go. Well, you have to ignore it because the truth is 20 percent of everybody hates you at all times. Correct.

And then everyone's all you just say anything and then people love to attack. Even if you say the most simplistic thing in the world, like maybe we shouldn't punch Chris Rock. There's a lot of people who are just like, what? Yeah. Next time you just do our good friend, Adam Schafter. You just tweet assault. That's what he does whenever he sees assault on a screen. He just writes it. It's assault.

Period. That's it. I mean, the thing about Twitter also is like everything disappears in the day and a half, right? Especially when you delete it. Yeah. And also when you delete stuff like last night, I just like I just also found it funny. Like it was just like you just start writing like your jokes. Right. On what happened. Yeah. No, it became open mic night on Twitter.

Yes. And which is fun to just read. Like, OK, what is the joke on this? And then at some point you're like, oh, I've lost my mind. I'm not just getting rid of all these. I mean, I don't need everything to live everywhere all the time. I like that. But people take things seriously in ways that you don't mean seriously. Other than, you know, I go to award shows.

I'd like to feel like the stage is safe. Yeah, you know, I'd like to feel like we can do jokes. Wouldn't it be fun if it was just like, hey, this award show, if you win an award, there's one person who's going to win an award tonight that will get slapped. Well, how about this? What if the whole award show is basically the set of Mad Max and it's ThunderDome and it's all ThunderDome.

Wait, are you talking about like celebrity deathmatch where all the A-list celebrities? Yes. Yes, I would watch that. Yeah. Next time you come on, I can explain my entire theory that there should be a rule in professional sports that every athlete gets to fight one fan a year because it just keeps everything kind of, you know, like one fan that goes crazy and starts yelling at someone.

It's like, all right, come out here. I'm fighting you in center court. This is the debate America is going to have right now. Yeah. Should we fight one fan a year? Just like, what are the scenarios where those lines get crossed? Yeah, yeah. What you could do with your Twitter. I do this when I have a take that ages extremely poorly.

I just copy Jay Williams' tweet when he's claimed that he got hacked. Yeah. So you can just say that you got hacked and say, as it relates to my Will Smith tweet that came from my account a couple of hours ago, I did not post that and my passcode has now been changed. Yeah. Or what I do, whenever my teams lose heartbreaking fashion, I just pretend that I'm selling PS5s online. So. And then you feel better? Yeah. No, because everyone's like, oh, he's hacked again.

It's like, no, I just tweeted. Yeah, exactly. But, Judd, this has been awesome. Thank you for stopping by in person. Thank you. Again, the bubble out on April 1st. Sicker in the head out March 29th. And the George Carlin documentary coming out in a few weeks, right? Yeah, I'll be at the 92 Y with Rami Yousef this week. I forgot what day it is. Thursday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Well, that's Thursday, Thursday. And then we're screening the movie Wednesday at the Paris Theater in New York, if you want to see it on a screen with me talking afterwards. Very cool. Awesome. Well, thanks so much. Thanks, guys. Big news, guys. You can now listen to the SXM app at home or anywhere you are. You can stream it all on your phone and stream it online. 425 channels are waiting for you on the serious XM app.

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Visit serious XM dot com slash pardon my take offer to sign up today. OK, let's wrap up. We've got Firefest of the week. Hank, I got a couple. Yeah. One is a dryer fest. Your dryer is broken. It is like it. I have to do two cycles of drying.

Do you remember to clean out the lint filter? Yes, I did. I did this. I cleaned it out. It was really like there's a lot in there. And I'm like, oh, I fixed it. Did not have you tried unplugging it and then plugging back in. It's kind of in like a closet where you can't like,

I don't even know how I would go about doing that. What about the where the air goes out? That's probably for a lint, too. I got to look back into it. It's an issue because, you know, usually in like three hours, you can do multiple loads of laundry, but it's like I can just do one load of laundry in like in three hours. And then I'm always behind in my laundry.

So that's my dryer fest. And then my other firefest was. Wait, sir, your clothes wet right now. No, I just have to like it just takes. It takes a long time to try anything. You've been looking damp recently. Yeah, you've really damp like kind of moist. Hank's been coming down to the content floor

and just has like a smile on his face. Get the get the fuck out of here. I know I know big catch. It looks over me and then just like in 1997. I went upstairs last Friday to talk to Hank and I asked people upstairs. I was like, where does Hank work? And people were like, Hank works upstairs now.

They didn't know. And so I walked around trying to find somebody that knew. And I had to have somebody escort me to the other side of the entire floor because Hank has his own wing upstairs. I don't have my own wing. No, I just put my desk where there was no one else because it's quiet. Hank has probably 30 desks and for himself.

It's me and it's a good luck. Damn. Anyway, I decided I saw that laser tweet and not really thinking about it. I said that soccer is a joke. Like the fact that, you know, your spot at the World Cup is determined by a fucking penalty kick with laser beams getting shot in your face is a joke.

And I didn't really think about it. It was just a fact. And then like, I just can't go on Twitter. Oh, the soccer heads are on. I don't mute notifications. I had to mute the notifications. Yeah, it was it was absurd. Like the the discourse going on was too much.

Well, Hank, there's no argument. Also, but that same thing happened to the other country when they were playing in a game. That's a joke, too. Yeah, the sport. The sport is a joke. It's not a joke. The sport is a beautiful game to go to the World Cup. Like, you know, NHL finals, it was penalty kicks. And also there was like banana peels on the ice.

That'd be kind of funny. That'd be very funny. Yeah, but a joke. NHL should implement that. Yeah, it's like Savannah bananas. Yeah, the soccer is Savannah bananas. I mean, the entire sport. But counterpoint, you're 12 yards away. You should be able to make a penalty kick, even if they're laser.

You should do that with your eyes closed. You should have seen the. Yeah, and people are like, you don't know what that does to your cornucopia and like all this shit. Cornucopia, whatever, cornea. But how about how about the lads? Are you at least like a little bit excited about the lads?

I was I was rooting for five nil. Well, that wouldn't have done anything. And six, whatever. Yeah, well, it's coming home. Make it out of pool play and I'll watch. I do make it out of pool play frequently. We just always lose to Ghana. I just wish it was on during the summer.

I like the World Cup in the summer. I get into the World Cup in the summer. The fact that it's in the fall is like, come on, man. If you just say it's coming home enough, it becomes more exciting. Damn. All right, your firefest, PFT. So my firefest of the week,

I actually just found out about maybe two minutes before we started taping part of my take. And I'm a little bit concerned about it. So we are getting on a flight and I'm boarding the flight in about five hours, five and a half hours from now. What's going on? My idea is expired.

Oh, that doesn't matter. I thought I also thought it was like weather related. We all were going to die. Just you have a problem. That's fine. Yeah, no, it's me. It's my firefest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And now you're fine. Also, my passport is expired. You can. Okay, but I'm not even. So the flight is one thing because I have clear. It's TSA precheck on steroids. And I'm more concerned about the fact that once I get to New Orleans,

I won't be able to get into certain establishments because I've expired identification. I think mine's been expired for like six months. Yeah, I think you're fine. Actually, you know what? It's New Orleans. Yeah, that's probably the ones that you don't need to even be alive to get put into bars down there.

I've gone on Instagram. Yeah, I've gone on to you can get into the airport without an ID period. Yeah, just like go through your whole life. That was me in Nashville. That was me in Minneapolis when I found Bubba sleep in a sauna. Mine was in Vegas too.

I think it happened to us. Yeah, it can. I mean, they just ask you 10 billion questions and like pat you down and look through all your luggage. Yeah, but like old relatives of yours and shit, like shit that you would never know. Yeah, you guys don't think it'll be a problem to get into bars in New Orleans?

No. Okay, good. No. All right, cool. All right, firefest over. Yeah. That's the fastest firefest of all time. My firefest is pretty simple.

It's just a pretty firefest. I really don't know what I'm gonna do when Duke wins on Saturday night. Hank is, he is insufferably smug. And people who, like, I can't remember who I was talking to. So I was like, I'm surprised. Hank, I think it was Roan. He was like, I'm surprised Hank didn't shove it in your face

after the Texas Tech game. I was like, Hank knows by now that he can just sit in the room with a smile, a little smile on his face and it will drive me 10 billion times angrier than if you just, like, yelled in my face. This one's also a lot easier because, like you said, you're not even gambling it because it's emotional. Like the game of the year, I know that, that it's like.

Yeah, there was a lot of money. It's partially losing, but it's also like you lost money. So it's tough to be like, ha, ha, ha. This will just be, you know, pure laughs. Yeah. Pure joy. I'd be ashamed if the CLP loses. Duke is in it.

Yeah, but that's, that's his witchcraft from you. Like, that's. I mean, that's, it can't lose. It literally can't lose, it's in the name. It would be a shame. You're ashamed if, if Kansas, Kansas was the reason they lost. Yeah, that would actually really suck.

The worst possible situation is if Duke wins in the semifinals and then loses in the national championship. Because you've said the worst, for me, worst possible situation. No, I'm just saying, I don't, for the podcast in general, because then, like we get kind of the joy of coach K losing a little bit. Right.

But also Hank's upset because Duke doesn't win, but it's not like a full celebration. Oh no, I'd take it. I'd fully celebrate. I would just be, I would be tickled pink if coach K lost to UNC. It's the, it's the biggest college basketball game since, since magic bird.

And also Gonzaga Baylor, as told to us by Rico Bosco. Billy, you're fire fast. So I was trying to catch a train on, when you get to the station, you see how long it takes before the train leaves. I had a good old zero minutes till it left. So I had to like get to the turnstile. It was all going to plan, get down the stairs.

They were like giving out the, the doors are now closing, full send it into closing doors, get in, foot gets caught in the door, face plant, kind of. What? But honestly, I don't like to think of things negatively. I fucking made that train. Cause the next one was in 36 minutes. I would have been late.

So that was a, that was a pretty awesome move, but I did just like fall in front of a lot of people. This would be what, like your third time unintentionally ending up on subway creatures. Yeah. We don't talk about that. Yeah. The, the funniest thing that people ever do to us

is send us pictures, like screenshots of pictures of Billy that are on other popular Instagram accounts where they don't know that it's Billy doing it. I love that. It's the best. You're all over the place. I thought you were going to say you got on, you ended up getting on the wrong train.

I've done that. Where I've just like hauled ass, hopped on, and then looked up and been like, whoops, wrong train. Yeah. Yeah. But it was, it was a positive in the end. Yeah. You made the train. You made the train.

You made the train. All right, Jake. One is happening right now. I'm trying to print these little things for you and I'm having issues. What? Yeah. Well, no memes to say he's going to print.

Yeah, I'm talking to memes. Oh wait, he's having issues? He asked me to do it because I have connection to the printer, but. Fuck. Having issue with double sided thing. Just a small part, big cat. No.

I'm going to, I'm going to keep trying, but. No. How many do you need to print up? I just wanted to print them for us, but I want also the people, I'm going to tweet out the link so that people can have it. I mean, at the worst case scenario, we can just make them ourselves with their handwriting.

I asked memes, I'm going to ask memes to pick them up, bring them in. Or take them to Kinko's. If it worked. God damn it, I hope this works. My plan, this would really, I got to use everything I got. I have everything I got going against them.

And then also, back to back meals, last two days, they just forgot my meat on my salad. What? Yeah. You've been meatless? Yeah. I walked into, me and Jake went together to get salads the other day,

and he walked in like the king of the cast. Yo, they know him. Yeah, it's like he is for him. There was a line, there was a line out the door, and Jake just bypasses them, and the worker who's in the middle of making a salad just like turns around, grabs his food, and it's like, here you go.

Yeah. I was just like, what? No words spoken. You ever make small talk with them? I said thank you. Yeah, yeah. You ever like chat them up, or is it just a recognition?

No, they're very busy. So I just say, hey, thank you. Have a good one. That's how I see Jake. See you tomorrow. Put no meat. So how much can they really like you? Yeah, I guess so.

They're good to me. If anyone gets this right, this number right, they get to declare who's gonna win the title. Six. And it will be, it will be right. Ninety-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-five.

Ninety-five. I wanna switch from 69, but if 69 hits, I'd never forgive myself. Just say 69. 69. No one's going for the three-nurrow. What was that, 72? 76.

Come on. Twenty-four. Oh, man. That's a great number. It's so close. As the person who was the closest. All right, 25. Shit.

So you do decide it. Do we want to jinx? What? No, you have the power to decide. What's your bracket say, Jake? What's your bracket say? Jake, you do it. What's your bracket say?

Don't be worried about what Big Cat's gonna do. Don't be worried about what Hank's doing. You have both of us. I'm asking you, Jake. This is what you've said in the past. Jake, decide. Three, two, one. Duke's wanting it.

No! You fucking asshole. Jake, that's your boss. Damn it. You know what you just did? I understand. You know what you- I've been wrong before.

Do you know what you've done? Shit, man. Why? This is your fault now. It's your fault. Well, that's a lose. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's your fault.

I love you, Jake. It is 100%. You're really so much. If I said- If Duke wins. No, no, no, your fault. The mob comes after me saying you jinxed it. No, no, your fault.

If I say Duke. Nope. Hey, Jake. Very cool. You know what? Coach K should let you cut down the nets with him on Monday. Because you have just as much a part of it as Paolo Bencero.

Very cool. I mean. Brutal, man. Jake. We're starting the college, we're ending the college basketball season the same way we started it. Yeah.

Just letting me down. You know that what you've done is you just I let it yourself as the main scapegoat. No. It'd be a shame if I'm wrong. Would be. You're not gonna be wrong. I know.

You don't even believe it. You don't even believe it. That's our show. We'll see everyone on Sunday night. Love you guys. Ben Franklin originally wanted the turkey to be the bird of America as opposed to the bald eagle. You know where the real turkey is?

Obama. Listen to the track. Be it. Talking away. I don't know what I'm to say I'm sage anyway. The day is unlike the day to find you. Shining away. I've been coming for your love of truth.

Shining away. I've been coming for your love of truth. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two. Needless to say, our odds and ends, but our fears don't win away. Slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me.

It's the better to be safe than sorry. Say after me. It's the better to be safe than sorry. Take on me. Take me on. I'll be gone in a day or two.