Pardon My Take - Mark Titus, NBA Playoffs, And Remembering Harambe 5 Years After His Death

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

RIP Harambe 5 years after his death. (2:30-5:02) The Lakers beat the Suns and the Heat tried to play a basketball game. (5:03-8:40) Fans going wild in New York and Philly and we have a rule to fix it all. (8:41-22:47) PR 101 for Amazon and Bubba reveals something to us that shocks the podcast. (23:45-32:05) Our good friend Mark Titus joins the show to shoot the shit about everything for an hour, great interview and good vibes all around. (34:23-1:33:40) We finish with Fyre Fest of the week. (1:35:01-1:49:36)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have our very good friend, Mark Titus, an awesome interview, one of those ones where we didn't write any questions down, we just shot the shit with our good friend for almost close to an hour. We're gonna talk some NBA, we're going to talk some Amazon, we're gonna talk some Firefest.

We have a great show for you, sending you off on the holiday weekend, hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Before we do that, a quick word from our friends, at FreeFly, brands send us clothing all the time and there aren't too many that I can actually say that I love enough to wear on a consistent basis. I actually would purchase FreeFly before they started advertising with us. That's how much I love FreeFly, their shirts are super, super comfortable. I basically bought all of their shirts and I wear them all the time.

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I can't even get the sentence out without laughing because it's so fucking ridiculous that we're still thinking about Harambe. RIP Harambe. One of the seminal moments of part of my take, I would say getting sued by ESPN right off the bat. Adam Orson's bunker. Adam Orson's bunker and then the summer of Harambe. Without that fucking gorilla getting shot, I don't know if I'd be sitting next to you

right now because. Unbelievable. It really is. On this day in sports history, the ultimate blooper, a fan got too close to the playing field in Cincinnati. We need to do like every big time anniversary. We got to all come together and have a beer for our sweet prince. It's so stupid.

It's so stupid. And I think we actually are getting close to having it be funny again. The resurgence. It was very funny for that summer that it was like very lame, but now enough time has passed where if you just drop a Harambe, it's like, oh, that's that's actually kind of funny. Yeah. The ironic resurgence of Harambe is due. Yeah.

And we really never let it go. No. No. Our sweet prince. So that was that. That's the lead. All right. So we stayed up.

We put his face on on tie dye t-shirts. Hank sold. Hank sold millions of dollars worth of t-shirts, so many t-shirts and and they all I hope everyone who still has one can look back and be like, wow, that was stupid. And if I had to explain it to anyone, like there are some things you can explain to people culturally. This is one of those ones that if you met someone in 15 years from now and they're like, hey, what the fuck is that gorilla on your tie dye shirt?

You're like, don't worry about it. Oh, and it was Twitter gold, too. Yeah. All you had to do was mention Harambe and a tweet instant clout right there, like looking back on it, it's it's like six levels of irony that you have to get through. I saw somebody tweet about it, a very touching memorial saying, I remember a month after Harambe was killed, I went to a Blink 182 show and the crowd spontaneously would erupt into Harambe chants between every song.

It's like, yeah, that's that's about as 2016 as you can get. Yeah. And again, it's going to be like there will be people who are like, oh, they made a Harambe joke. They're so fucking lame. Nah, it was one of those fun things that we just all enjoyed and it's okay to look back and be like, that was funny. Take your take out for Harambe.

Oh, yeah. Dicks out for Harambe. Exactly. Um, all right. So we stayed up. I just did it. We stayed up. We stayed up again.

This time it did not pay off. So on Tuesday, we stayed up. We watched the Great Sons Lakers game tonight. We stayed up and I am going to say right now, I officially feel bad for Phoenix Sons fans because we know a couple of them. They were sitting with us watching. They do exist. They were like, of course, the first time in a decade that we've had a fun team and

then we have to play the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Lakers have, of course, as always, LeBron turns it on in the playoffs and knows that the regular season does not matter and we are here and barring a ridiculous comeback, which would, we did not stay up for. Nope. Well, let's say this, it's 1205 a.m. right now. Yes. So we did stay through the night.

We stayed up. But if the Sons come back, this is one of those moments where it would actually be funny the start of the show. I was thinking about this watching this game because both teams have basketballs in their logos. The Sons are like, what should we make our logo? Oh, let's just put a basketball with heat waves around it. The Lakers also have a basketball as their logo.

The Heat also played tonight. Well, actually, I can't say that the Heat played tonight. They were on television. They participated in a game. Yes, they were there. I think that basketball out of all the sports features the main piece of playing equipment more than any other sport. Like there are a lot of teams.

I think the Bucks might have a basketball in one of their logos. Helmets in football, definitely a lot of helmets. You mean like on the helmets? Yeah. There are other helmets. Aren't there? I don't think so. I think I know that the Browns logo is just a Cleveland Browns helmet.

Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. All right. This is too late in the night for me to go through all the helmets. I'm just trying to think, racking my brain. Other helmet teams. Do the Raiders have one or is it just the Shield?

Yeah, I guess. I guess I'm just thinking of them actually wearing helmets. Yeah, they do while they're on the field. So the, yeah, the Lakers actually now it's an eight point game. So now we're going to look even dumber. But I'm going to say it, the Lakers are up 2-1. They're going to win this series. The Suns, I feel bad for them.

I don't know how the Lakers don't come out of the West. Hopefully this is an old, or Cold Takes Exposed moment. What is a Cold Takes Exposed moment though was, boy was I wrong about the Bucks Heat series. I want to apologize. Officially, this is me being a bigger man, not a fat joke. I was very wrong. The Bucks are so much better than the Heat.

The Heat do not know how to shoot a basketball. Like they just don't, they miss so many shots around the rim and the Bucks are just way, way better. My apologies to Milwaukee Bucks and Bucks fans. I was wrong. I fucked up. I fucked up. Listen, I've long said that Jimmy Butler is not a top 15 player in the NBA.

That's true. That is true. He doesn't look at all like he did last year. I don't know what the difference is. He, he loved the bubble. Shot his flat. I think the Heat, for some reason, they just, they enjoyed being uncomfortable in that bubble. What was it?

Jimmy Butler being like no disrespect to families. I think there's too many families around the players on the Heat are seeing their families too much. Right. I wouldn't put it past them to be like, fuck this. We're making our own bubble. You're not allowed to see anybody that's not on the team. I'm going to sell $20 cups of coffee to everybody still.

Like let's just stick with what worked last time. Yeah. Yeah. They need the bubble bath. You got to change something up if you're the Heat because they, I'm going to use the F word. They looked feckless. Feckless.

Ooh. Feckless. The feckless Heat. Yeah. That should be a sweep. They should just sweep them and put them out of their misery. Dead, dead man walking on that one. All right.

Let's talk some more NBA. Some other games that happened. The Mecca is officially back. The Mecca is officially back. Oh, it was rocking. I'd say I'll one up, you big cat. New York City is back. Oh, okay.

So the only complaint I had, it was a great game. It just, look, I know that we joke about like people calling it the Mecca, but I absolutely will agree with the fact that when Madison Square Garden is rocking, it is up there at the top of the list of like arena settings, you know, experiences. You could just feel it. Like I watched the whole game, shout out MSG, not letting the crowd noise. I heard TNT didn't have like crowd noise. It's very difficult to censor like 30,000 people screaming, fuck you, Trey Young.

Right. All at the same time. But I'm, I'm also rooting for the garden. Yes. I don't think I have it really a team in the East besides obviously the Nets, but I am rooting for the garden. I've been very clear about the wizards that like, yeah, I'll, I'll pretend to be on the wizards bandwagon, but I have literally put them out of my brain and my life has been

better off for it since about 2006. So I'm not, I, I'm not able, that's a take that I'm not even able to backtrack on. I won't allow myself to do that, but I'm rooting for the garden. I don't really care about the Nix that much, but I love seeing the garden rocking like that. In the words of America's new poet laureate, LeBron James, it was some loud ass hell. It was loud ass hell. I like saying like it was some loud ass hell. I actually think that loud ass hell is a great saying that we should totally embrace and

run with. Loud ass hell. And then he had to update it because he was like, actually I meant to not bleep out ass because I didn't mean to use the word ass. But then he bleeped out a letter that came before the word as so. Yes. Right. No, I think yeah.

Yeah. Right. Exactly. He screwed up the censoring of the censoring. H E and the double hockey sticks. Mm hmm. I mean, it's a family site. It's probably been, I'd say maybe 20 years since I've seen the H E double hockey sticks

used in the wild like that. That's like a real impressive. That's a real like fourth grade teacher move. Yes. You'd be like, what the H E double hockey sticks is going on around here? Yeah. LeBron saw three bottles of wine and he went for the one in the middle and shoved out of that and then got online.

I look, I'm just going to remind people LeBron showed us his dick. Yeah. That happened. Yeah. Yeah. We saw your dick. All right. So the garden's back.

I really, really, we talked about this on Wednesday, but it needs to be restressed. What Nike has done with jerseys is an abomination. Whatever the Knicks were wearing was so fucking bad. It was like, it looked like if they made a movie set in the future and like New York City set in like 20, I don't know, 90, this is what the Knicks are wearing. That's like, it made no sense. Why wouldn't you wear your classic home whites when the mech is trying to be back? Or the blue.

Either way, the blue or the white would have made that game so much better. So much better. And I, I guess I was going to use this as a firefest, but I think I should discuss it right now because we were talking about the jerseys and the color blind issue in America on what was that Wednesday show. I kind of, I feel bad because there's somebody on this show that reached out to me that told me that he was color blind and had never brought it up. And he didn't feel safe on Wednesday in that space, letting us know.

Bubba, your color blind, which that actually makes perfect explains that he can't tell red and green lights when he's crossing the road together. That makes perfect sense. Or yeah, too soon, bro. It makes perfect sense. But Bubba, why didn't you, why didn't you feel safe telling us? I don't know. I do hate when one of the teams doesn't wear white.

It's just really annoying on the screen. Yes. Like it drives me. I agree. One team should wear white. Right. And we, it's the inverse of, you know, whenever, uh, like UCLA and USC play football and you're like, this is an all time uniform matchup.

It feels great. And they don't have to have white because those are two distinct colors. So wait, Bubba, you don't even reverse just terrible uniform matchups. You don't even know about the great uniform matchup of USC and UCLA. Yeah. How color blind are you? What color? What color is this?

How are you a sneaker head if you don't even know what color shoes you wear? Yeah. I wear a black T-shirt every day. No, but how color? Cause you know, some people, like if we did it, all right, here's, here's the last one. I don't know. What color is this? I don't know.

Bubba, here's, here's all phrases. I think I, I think I heard this one. I think so too. If Bubba, if we did a, uh, a video where we put on those glasses, oh yeah, let's go viral. Yeah. How viral would we go? I don't know.

Would you cry? Oh, I'll fake cry. Yeah. Would you cry? Yeah. Like would you, have you seen color before? Yeah. But I don't, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. You're statistically the least racist person on this podcast. I was going to say, we should have been using this as a trump card all the time when everyone's like, oh, you guys are racist. Like no dude, our producer does not see color. Literally. Yeah.

The fact. Wow. Wait Bubba, here's what we do. How do you know when the mountains are blue? Oh no. Hey, come on. I was going to say that's what we say for the video. We put the, we put the glasses on them and then we, we show them a course light can for

the first time. Ice cold one. Yeah. And then you start. I'll cry. Yeah, you would cry on that. The mountains being that blue. I just, I felt bad.

Like I'll put it in a verbal. Oh, I don't feel bad. No, I'll put it in verbal meme. No. It actually explains a lot. Yeah. It explains so much. It makes so much sense.

I don't feel bad whatsoever. It's, it's Bubba as Squidward peering out the window and it's me and Big Cat. Just a rainbow. Down below, having a great time doing the Rubik's Cube episode. Yeah. Or just no, having a great time, having a great time complaining about jerseys. Yeah. Like looking at how much fun they have saying how bad the jerseys are.

So when you saw the Rubik's Cube, does that make any sense at all to you? No. Yeah. Kind of. Kind of. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. What color, what color is this logo on my shirt?

Oh, so how color blind are you? I don't know. Bubba, what color is this? This is, this is why, this is why I didn't want to do it because I knew that this would turn into a thing where Big Cat just like picks up rain right now and it's like, what color is this? I'm going to throw you like the most like Big Cat thing ever. Yeah.

The most like, I'm going to go to like a steel mill and get some glowing hot rods of steel and throw them to you. Like what? Oh, you didn't realize they were hot dude? Wow. How did you not see that? I was thinking about this last night as well because I know it's been an ongoing conversation and I didn't do research to find out if this is how they did do it, but the home team

should just wear white. Yes. Yes. That's it. Yes. And then the away team wears color. They can maybe switch it between a couple of different colors. But the home teams should always wear white.

It was terrible. But anyway. The away team wears white. That drives me crazy. Yeah. The Knicks played really well. It was great to see Derek Rose. Like he saved them.

He absolutely saved them. Throwback. He doesn't like the word vintage. He doesn't like people saying that he's vintage Rose because he's still playing. And it was nice to see Julius Randall figure out like what happens when you get double teams because there was a game in a half where he could not understand what that meant. I think the new Riley Curry of this playoffs is going to be Julius Randall's son. He was so funny.

His son is hilarious. Mean Muggin. His son just staring people down ice grilling them. So good. And Obi-Toppin. Obi-Toppin. Ain't no stopping Obi-Toppin. And the Knicks fan who spit on Trey Young bad, see you don't deserve to be in the Mecca.

And then that's a perfect segue to the big story of Russell Westbrook getting popcorn dumped on him. I was about to say a torch update. I think that New York fans are the new Philly fans. Well then Philly fans did that. But it's popcorn. Yeah. But Russell Westbrook was hurt.

Not that bad. That's the part that. Yeah. Because then you add in the. The injury factor. Yeah. As he was going off the court with an ankle injury. I mean it is a ridiculous thing to do that.

So I've long standing had an idea that players should be able to fight one fan a year. I'm going to adjust this though because I was thinking about it. Everyone correctly said the problem is Russell Westbrook would have used his fight on game one. And that's true. It's a game one of the season. Not this series. So I think what it should be is every every player gets to call out a fan to fight and

like you know how they have I mean for the balls they have the the Dunkin Donuts race or they'll have like the moving ball. Basically you have something on the Jumbotron that's like a roulette wheel and it either says fight or no fight. And if the player calls out a fan so it's unlimited amount of fights for the season. If the player calls out a fan and it's a no fight the player owes the fan that game check. And if it's a fight then the fan has to come down and fight the player in the middle of

the court. I would love to see which players would use their fight a fan thing on somebody that's just sitting there minding their own business. Just like I think it has to be like fighting tight. Well then we have to figure out where the lines drawn. I think it's just anything yelling or at that point it becomes like too much of legislation. You just say a player can fight and it's part of the it's part of the risk of attending a game.

It's like going to a baseball game. You might get hit with a foul ball. You go to a 76ers game. You might have been Simmons punching you in your tooth. Well and also you would then this would also make it so that fans are little even feister because they now have a chance to get the game check. If there's no fight and then they also have a chance to get their ass kicked for everyone to watch which would be incredible.

And then we could set up some sort of stunt where like Floyd Mayweather goes to a game wearing old people makeup like Kyrie Irving and then he talks shit flips the guy off takes the mask off and now we got a real fight. Now he fights. It would if it's like the kid in the bathroom fighting. What do you mean? What if it's like an MMA train. Oh the Oklahoma guy.

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's good for the sport. Yeah. You that's up to the player. They have to decide. They can't call out someone that could kick their ass. It would just add an element like if Russell Westbrook could basically say to that person

who dropped popcorn on him or Tray Young could say the guy who spit on him you now have to fight me. And it's legally everything is on the table like we have to fight no weapons. But if I kick your ass if I knock you out there's nothing you can do about it. Okay. What about the Westbrook never would have made it to that late in the season though. That's what he's saying. That's what he's saying.

So now it's a roulette wheel. So it's it's a it's a fifty fifty proposition to flip of a coin whether the fight is on or not. If the fight's not on then the fan automatically gets the game check. I also think that you should be allowed to call out like groups of fans too. So instead of saying it's one fan it's like one fight and you can include like if you want to go like 5v1 in that one fight you can do that. Yes.

But just imagine if you're sitting at a basketball game and Russell Westbrook there's a timeout calls a timeout and then you hear over like the PA announcers like and we have a call out we have a call out Russell Westbrook has called out fan in section 101 C A4 and then the fan comes out they stand there they spin the wheel fight or no fight. I mean that's that's the greatest entertainment of all time. And how sick would it be if you use your fight in the playoffs if you're on the Suns let's say. Oh Devin Booker and he sees Drake in the front row he's like I want Drake.

Yeah. I want to fight his ass. Then Drake has to do it. Yes. Absolutely. It'd be great. Drake wins. He gets in the hotel room.

So implement that. Yeah. Philly fans had a nice night. Really like so perfect that Philadelphia and New York no fans for a year and a half first chance they get to have fans back it's like well we got to get we got to make up for lost time. They're faxed wax ready to relax. Yeah it's like we have to get this going.

So and then afterwards like out in the street it looked like I mean at that point I was like outside the Mecca outside the Mecca when people were taking their shirts off there's almost a riot almost like fires getting started. Yep. Sports are better with fans. Sports are better with fans. And then down in DC you had that naked the full nude Nationals fan crawl inside the tarp and hide from people.

That was awesome. That was yes. Points for creativity because I've never seen that before. Now I'm guilty of this because I did tweet this on I think Sunday when the PGA championship and the Mecca were both rocking and I was like this is awesome. Sports are better with fans. How long till it's just the lame guys at the party being like sports are better with fans. It's like August and people are still tweeting that being like sports are better with fans.

Yeah we know. I think you got to give us at least a year. You get it. Well yeah it'll be this playoff run for NBA and NHL and then the beginning of football season. Okay. Fair. Yes college football is a big one.

So I think sometime around Thanksgiving if you're still doing that if you're still pointing out the extremely obvious sports are better with fans you're late to it. Yeah but I'm still going to like I'm still amazed when I look at a TV screen. Correct. And there are fans going nuts like at the Islanders game. Yeah no this is amazing. We're in a nice honeymoon phase where it is incredible to turn on a game. And just be like oh my god this is awesome.

Unless it's in Canada. Which makes it look so much worse for them. So much worse. What about this. When are we going to get our first counter take. Somebody being like sports were better without fans because fans are pouring popcorn and spitting on players. I feel like that's probably coming in the next two days.

Yeah. If we if we get one incident probably tonight if we get an incident featuring like LeBron yeah there will be that take that comes out tomorrow. Why the why the bubble was actually good for the NBA. Yes. Why COVID actually was good for sports. Yes. All right.

Next thing we got to talk about we got to talk about the match that got announced. It is Bryson DeChambeau and Aaron Rodgers versus Tom Brady and Phil Mickelson. My probably two guys I hate the most have teamed up. And where we come in Brooks has. So there's a couple of things that happened. There was some Twitter back and forth PFT because I love you. I'm not going to mention the fact that Bryson basically made the same exact joke that you made a week ago.

No he didn't actually. So I'm not going to say. What he didn't is the thing. Right. What's joke. The deflated balls joke. But his joke was I was talking about Bitcoin deflated right right which was actually something that correlated right Bryson's joke was your spirit will be deflated.

Oh wait. We got it. We got it. We got it. Hold on. You got saving the time there. We got to knock on the door. Who is that.

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Use the promo code TAKE for $3 off your first app order. Promo code TAKE for $3 off your first app order with Slice. Check them out. Thank you to Slice for putting that promo code TAKE. Okay. So it was a deflation joke. Yeah. But it was so much worse.

It was very much worse. It was the ball. It was the ball. But even if it was when someone said like hey PFT this sucks this was the same joke. Only two people can judge me, God and Tom Brady on my jokes and Tom Brady already weighed in on that so I feel like it's time to move on. But yes. Correct.

It was it was a similar joke and I just think that maybe Bryson copied me. I think. And that's tough. Yeah. That's tough. That's tough. You know what? He's rent free.

You're rent free in his head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got into a whole like rent free off debate which we predicted. I thought it was so good. That's Bryson's go to that. Those are the death throws of a dead man when they start to make free jokes.

Triggered or rent free is pretty much like I have nothing else. To say. Yeah. So yeah. He went to his group of scientists and was like what's the great response is like how about we go with rent free. Brooks played it perfectly. That's not a biased take.

That's just a factual take saying sorry to Aaron Rodgers that he has to be paired with Bryson DeChambeau which actually as much as I hate Aaron Rodgers I wouldn't wish being paired with Bryson DeChambeau on my worst enemy and Aaron Rodgers is my worst enemy. Yeah. No it's a tough pairing. Like it's very very hard to reach where I predict that Aaron Rodgers will be sick of him as a teammate by hole two. Actually let's get ahead of this.

Can we please get Aaron Rodgers some help. Why is there every sport that Aaron Rodgers plays. It seems like no one wants to give him a good teammate to play with. Yeah. I think he should he should bow out of this tournament too and go chill in Hawaii. He's having a good time in Hawaii. He's I love that for him. I love it for for him and Miles Teller yeah playing guitar long hair man bun feeling good

weird. Yeah. He's living that truth. He's yeah. That whole team is copying me. Yes. They are. They're they're swagger jacking you.

But either way this is going to be great for golf and something that we can truly hate and Brooks if you are still thinking the like Brooks is Bryson has Brooks bothered and not the opposite of way way around and like you just you just showed up two days ago because it's clear what Brooks tweeted out the video like Bryson gets mad on the range at the golf course. If you mentioned Brooks if you'd mention like anything he gets very upset. And also Bryson he has a Mickey Mouse US Open. Can we can we admit that.

Oh here's something I'll just throw it's a Mickey Mouse major championship. There are no fans. Here's something I'll throw out there. The only time that Bryson DeChambeau won a major Brooks Keppke wasn't there. Yeah. So do the math. Okay. Yeah.

He wasn't there. I got a Rick Raleigh joke. Is it okay. Should we wait for Tom Brady to judge it. I feel like I'd like to say it and then Bryson will Bryson will use it. Okay. Here's a good one Bryson. Hey you guys you guys hear that Aaron Rodgers and Bryson DeChambeau were on a golf team

together. Yeah. It's impossible to find a team that hates ants more than those two. Oh nice. Get it. Like his aunt his family his family and a little ants. Yeah. Get it.

I actually didn't get it till the family part. That's great. Do you say aunts. Are you an aunts guy. Yeah I am. There it is. It's okay PFC. I know that it doesn't bother you that Bryson took your joke.

It doesn't. Hey Bryson if you're going to here's what really bothers me about Bryson. If you're going to wear metals metal spikes on a golf course like a freak at least have the common decency to be winning the tournament so that other people don't have to play after you. Yeah that's true. He made like everybody on the golf course play after. Well someone pointed out that Tiger always wore metal cleats.

But that's Tiger. And also he's in he's on crutches now from wearing metal cleats his whole career. Yeah right. You're real shame if that were to happen to Bryson. I mean we are rooting for injuries. We do know that we do know that Bryson gets a little careless with his driver. But all right let's go. We should just at least mention that Javi Baez broke base running in the Pirates Brains

today because that was a hilarious clip to to run back towards home. I don't think you can ever do that again because now they'll actually be like hey if this happens here's what you do. But Javi Baez hitting a ball to the shortstop the ball taking the first baseman off the bag and then just going back towards home and being like what are you going to do. And then the Pirates just forgetting how to play defense. No one had ever done that before. It's incredible.

And I think that it's a play that you're definitely more likely to see at like t-ball levels and little league. I'm talking like eight nine year old coach pitch levels. And then you get so good at baseball that that type of weird shit doesn't happen to you for the rest of your career. But Javi never forgets the stuff that he learned when he was a kid. And so he starts running back to home plate. They threw the ball home.

The catcher tried to tag out the runner from third base which is stupid as shit. That guy can score and you get the force out at first base and it doesn't matter what happened. Right. And then the first baseman has the audacity to start yelling at the pitcher telling him to cover first base. Bitch you're the first baseman. You cover first base.

You walk two miles per hour back down the line step on the base. It was probably the worst but most hilarious baseball player I've ever seen. Yeah. And that's the pirates. That's the pirates. And that's also it was actually the perfect storm because it's not only the pirates but also Javi Baez basically he's he's a great you know improvisational base runner. Let's put it that way.

He's like jazz. He kind of makes up his own rules as he goes. And then you get moments like this where he's doing crazy shit. Did you see when he took second base after the after the error by the second baseman covering first base. Yes. Javi sprints to second. They throw the ball to second base which was also an error on that play.

And then for a second Baez jumps up and he's like oh fuck do I have to run a third now. He almost did. Yeah. And he thought about it but he didn't. But that was yeah. That's the highlight of the season so far. Yeah. All right.

So last up before we get to Mark Titus awesome interview with Mark Titus then we got Firefest on the other end. We got a PR 101 for Amazon real quick. So tell me again what Amazon is doing. So Amazon. Yeah. Amazon in a in their ongoing effort to continue to hypnotize the remaining workers they're remaining human workers and ask them to stay in the warehouse.

They've set up phone booths in the middle of all their warehouses where workers can go in and take an emotional break where they just go in they essentially sit in a phone booth sized box for 15 minutes and then they walk out and go back to work penalty box penalty box. So if you're working an eight hour shift without peeing you can go into this phone booth and cry for 10 minutes and come out. Thank you Jeff. I like that Amazon just like when you create an insanely large computer company but it's

not computer company. It's everything's on the Internet obviously and they're just selling all these things and then they try to humanize it. It's like whoops whoops we can't go backwards here. Yeah. We can't actually put like a human culture into this thing. We've gone too far. Right.

All their humans are really just code in their giant system where they just that's the way that they know how to quantify things. If you look at it from like a up top 30,000 foot perspective what they've done is they've just created a box that their workers can go into sit and stare at a screen step out and feel better about continuing. They're just hypnotizing their workers into not hating their job like little hypnosis. Yes. You go in the box.

It's the boo box from hook. What's the boo box. You go in the boo box and hook when you go in like the trunk and they put like scorpions and stuff in there. Sme. Yeah. The boo box. Okay.

You go in the boo box and then when you come out you're like life is good out here. I mean outside of the boo box. All you have to do is put one snake in one of those boxes. Yeah. And like a real venomous one. Like a fucking snap it's windpipe. Pit pipe. That's all a snake is.

Yeah. One long windpipe. Exactly. You step in there. There's a poisonous snake. A report comes out. Hey there was a venomous snake in one of these things. Then none of their workers ever want to take a break again.

Yes. It's a long play if you're Jeff Bezos. By the way quick update on the animal talk that we had last week. I saw a video of an elephant walking and he had like a I don't know probably about ten foot long dick. You don't think I could fucking stomp on that dick. Just here's what you do. I'd punch him and then I'd win.

Here's what you do. You take his dick and then you wrap it around all of his legs. Yes. Like how they took down those big walking things in Star Wars. You trip him with his own dick. Tie it into a knot. It was that big. And then you walk up to his trunk and you just squeeze his trunk and hold his breath.

Yeah. So and then he explodes. Yeah. All right. Let's get to our interview. We got Mark Titus. Awesome interview. We're just kind of shoot the shit with him.

Good vibes going into the long weekend reminder. We have a no show on Monday show on Tuesday show on Friday. Before we get to Mark a quick word from our friends at Bright Cellars. If you've been overwhelmed in the wine aisle and bought a random wine you ended up hating you are not alone. Finding the perfect wine match can be intimidating but it does not have to be. That's where Bright Cellars comes in. Bright Cellars uses a wine algorithm to match you with the wines you are guaranteed to love.

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I don't know. Bright Cellars dot com slash pardon will get you hooked up Bright Cellars dot com slash pardon. Okay. Here he is. Mark Titus. Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest.

He's one of our best friends. He is here. What was what was the coffee the coffee or the coffee sorry which we we were up until like I didn't go to sleep until like not a black in the morning last night Mark. Yeah Mark. What you know what let's start there. Well actually I wanted to introduce you so it is Mark Titus. He works for Fox Sports Titus and Tate Podcasts People's Sports Podcasts with our friend Charlotte

Wilder Titus and Tate with our friend Tate Frazier the People's Sports Podcasts. Are you a communist. That's a great question. I am whatever is in vogue is communism. Would you say communism's having a moment right now. Kind of. It's it's elevated itself to the pantheon of political re Apex friend yes re Apex I think it is in the pantheon right now actually political movements.

Let me put it to you this way. Do you recognize Taiwan as a country. Oh hard hit a question. Great question. I would say I'm going to follow the lead of great Ohioan LeBron James and I am going to educate myself on the matter. I am not going to speak before I have all the facts. I think a lot of people out here are just like talking like they know things a lot of

people that are like MIT educated and stuff like that but I and but they don't have all the facts like I do so I'm going to I'm going to collect the facts first before I get some facts and come back to me. Yeah but I will I will put out a statement though so be be on the lookout for that. It is coming. I just want to make sure I get all the put it up on we but it is funny like we were talking yesterday about living rent free in people's heads and technically like the entire nation of of Taiwan lives rent free in China because they think that that mainland China is still

Taiwan. It's a wild scene. Yeah. Just you're right though. Wait till all the facts come out. What's going on with your background. Are these National Geographics. Yeah.

First of all I've come on the show like four times with this background I think but we don't actually we usually don't put on the video for you. Oh for real. No. I'm just now noticing no you actually you don't want to know you want to know the dumbest thing ever. What. So the pandemic has been going on for whatever a year and a half that we've gone to basically

all Zoom interviews for I don't know. 16 of the 18 months. We basically just did the interviews with a laptop sitting on a bunch of course light cases and we could barely see the person's like background or even their face and that person could barely hear us. And then one day we're like wait can we put it up on the TV. So now we have it on the TV. So it takes us some time to figure it out.

I think I did. I think that's probably what happened. I think I did the show a few times where that was the case. Yeah. Like now you can actually hear us. No these are all the national parks I've been to. Oh it was it was it was like a thing. I'm actually going to redo this room.

I don't know. I was like trying to I was going to a lot of them and I would I was trying to think of a like a collectible to get and then I just started getting these like little things and I started hanging them up and I don't know it looks kind of cool but it's it's time for a change. I like you one of those. I do like the guys that have like the RVs with the 50 States on them and then they color in the 50 States.

How many States do you think is an acceptable amount to start with because you can't get an RV and just have like North and South Dakota colored in right. You also have to have like a I feel like you have to have a wide range of from a geographical perspective like if you just have like the Northeast colored in that looks stupid. Yeah. You just have like California Oregon and Washington and the red you know like you have to have been like if you're from New York you have to like gone to like Montana and Arizona and then you can like color the color.

You know what I mean. Five States seems right. Are you to start with. Well yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's that's a lot of states. No but I feel like if you do like that that is a lot of states but it also isn't like

you can you can kind of go through your head and be like wait I've been to like a lot more states. Maybe there's also the nature of our job and also the Northeast all the states are really close together. They're small but like and then you're like oh OK so I've been to Cleveland. Oh I've been to Florida. Oh I went through Atlanta once. I don't know.

It just adds up fast. I don't see the nature of the job. Yeah. Anyway this is this is my solution. I didn't want to be the stickers on the back of the car like the stickers on the Yeti. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be that guy.

Are you are you a big Zion guy. National Park. Yeah. Well yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. OK. I was just wondering.

I like I love Zion. I think it's right. Let me figure out my. Yeah. It's right there. Yeah. What about the player. Yeah.

I'm a professional Zion. So I think those of us who played basketball during our careers were a little bit overweight. If you will I think we have to stick together. We have to bond together. So of course I'm a Zion guy. Shout out you by the way you had a post on your Instagram story the other day where you were like anytime I feel bad about myself I just look at 2014 Mark Titus and it actually is like like the face app Snapchat like look at what everyone would look like if there

were a hundred pounds heavier. That might be the greatest picture to have in your back pocket because you're hot now like very hot which I'll just I'll gas you up we do that now but that like you should have that on your refrigerator it's incredible. I'm so proud of it. I had a bunch of people reach out to me because I was going through I was getting rid of an old computer and I was digging up old pictures and trying to figure out which ones to save and which ones to get rid of and I just stumbled across the treasure trove of pics of when

I was fat and I didn't realize I was fat like in the moment that's how it works is like you're just like put on a little bit but I'm not that bad. So anytime I come across those pictures it's hysterical I love it and I had people reach out to me and say like not that I was brave but it's like man that's crazy that you're willing to just do that. I'm like what do you mean willing to do that that's like the greatest thing ever like that. I mean it's like the greatest like this is what I used to look like and I don't look like this anymore.

I played it so beautifully because I was fat in my 20s even I'm in better shape now than I was when I played basketball which is was really smart too because I was kind of doughy when I played basketball as well so that is the standard I think people hold you to is like what you look like in your 20s and all that and I played it beautifully. I lowered the bar very very low when I was like 25 and then now all I have to do is just like not eat like garbage and people think I look great when really I just I don't think it's really that it's just I just don't look like what I used to look like. No you look great you look great and you also have like the Cali tan your hair you've been

wearing a lot of Hawaiian shirts you're drinking water at like nine o'clock in the morning like you're doing all these things though drinking like a big glass of water first thing in the morning that's a help that's a major healthy person that basically gets you on Joe Rogan's podcast as a scientist yeah you know what I do I chug water in the morning my skin is great that's that dude from from Peloton the CEO of Peloton every morning he goes to the sink and he takes I think 40 handfuls of water and throws them into his mouth that's that's his that's what I knew it was time to get off the bike that's amazing I don't have that yet I give me a few more years in California and I'll have like my thing that I do I don't

really have a thing yet I just kind of like I don't know a jog every so often but yeah I will have something where I'm like injecting kale into my veins or something you got there yet I don't have anything weird yet goes out and stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds every yeah what is the difference of process between like having a guy because I imagine you guys didn't write anything down when I when I said I would come on the show versus like someone that you're being pitched to come on and you I don't know and you don't know anything about them you have no idea what to expect what is your pride what's the difference of process sometimes they ask us to write down sample questions and then we

just totally make those up and we never and maybe we'll end up asking one out of like their questions that we said but that's just by coincidence that we do that so occasionally we do that and then usually it's mostly just Kelly or Peggy or bookers just being like hey do you want this person and us being like oh god it's another text from Kelly again and then we ignore it for a while then she yells at Hank and then we say yeah okay we'll take that person that's pretty much that's the whole process one thing I gotta get better at that I could ask you guys for advice is when do you plug the the energy drink that the guest has to plug like is that out of the gate you do that do you like is I haven't

gotten a natural you know you have someone on you want to talk about their career you want to talk about something interesting that you won't do that that you that they did that I don't know you have your list of questions and they're like all right so pivoting here it's your energy drink that you're that you're promoting what's that about what it says here that you're in crypto what uh what is that about there are times yeah there are times where it is uh like we've had certain interviews and people will know exactly who we're talking about when we say these but like where it's just awkward it's almost like the um classic Dan Patrick when he had Matt Harvey on and Matt Harvey refused to talk about anything

but Qualcomm there'll be some of those where you're like this sucks like you don't want to be here I should do that sometime that'd be a good bit for me to come out here just like pitch something for the entire time like let's get it back to Qualcomm I'm just here to talk about broadband access yeah let's get it but yeah rock and refuel actually the age that you see sometimes it's actually funny because the guest will just constantly talk about the product and it almost it goes out the other end and it becomes good again because it's so bad yeah yeah yeah that's that's uh I should do that that's a good bit I could try um all right so I have a real basketball question so the clippers uh are probably at

the time of this taping they're down to oh and I had to take that world will eventually get to the point where people will be like they just hate each other because it makes no sense obviously Luca's incredible and the Mavs are a good team but it makes no sense that they uh could possibly be out of the playoffs again the first or last year was the second round but first round do you think that it's a chemistry thing and being on teams your entire life at you know Ohio State and AU I don't know if everyone knows we played with Odin and Mike Conley AU how much is the chemistry actually a real thing in basketball oh it's a thing I think the clippers though it's I don't I don't know if they really

hate each other or when I watch the clippers it feels like they all want to have a chip on the shoulder but they're kind of trying to just shortcut the chip on the shoulder situation where they're like they they they there's like a sense of entitlement I don't know it's like a false purpose it's so weird and what I mean by that is like the thing that stood out to me I didn't watch it I was watching Lakers game last night Lakers fan yeah I I'm a diehard Lakers fan as we've discussed um but uh uh uh Paul George crosses up poor zingas and the clippers bench goes nuts and they're pointing at poor zingas and they're they're mocking poor zingas and there's this whole attitude about how they're like the

tough guys but they're also down 2-0 in the plus two games at home uh and they were doing this last year too with with like chirping at at Luca when they were playing the the Mavs uh they were they were chirping at Dame Lillard when he was at the Frito line I just get the sense of like they all want to be chip on their shoulder underdog like we're we're the team no one likes in LA um whatever but they but they don't actually play hard or care about the score I it's a bizarre deal I don't I don't think they hate each other they hate themselves I think like I hear everybody on that team keep that kind of hate themselves yeah I also here's the take I'll I'm gonna probably work on it's not ready yet but Kawhi

just can't isn't built to be like the true alpha because he doesn't you do at some point have to be the guy who like yells at your teammates and like hey go over here do this do that and you could make the argument that with the Raptors you know the Spurs obviously were loaded for other reasons they had different guys but the Raptors Kyle Lowry was probably that guy for that team yeah I would agree with you I guess and Paul George is not that guy well it's like they don't have that if you want to get into like the psychology of it Paul George probably feels the need to stand up and try to be that guy because Kawhi is not as vocal as he should be or as vocal as a lot of other leaders are but he also knows

that Kawhi is way better than him so when he tries to step in that leadership position he's being like totally inauthentic gets in his own head that's what yeah that's what I'm saying I feel like their trash talk is inauthentic that's the way I put it is inauthentic is like they have this brand in their head of like this is the team we are and it's very you know even Tai Lu like the way I haven't paid that much attention to the Clippers this year but every time like a Tai Lu post-game press conference quote pops up on my timeline I just rolled my eyes at like how he's like trying to play a character of I don't know I don't give a damn like it he feels like Tai Lu just says that a lot like I don't give

a damn what what the haters think and what it's like what okay I don't right he's like who you talking to right now yeah yeah Tai what's going on right I don't know the Clippers it they've gotten kind of boring to me I think it was more fun last year watching him flame out and this year I'm not really surprised and it's just I don't know it's not as fun last year was fun last year watching yeah you're right there's there's hilarious this year it's just like we're suppressing it's sad and depressing and you're like wait this is they really do suck kind of yeah they just kind of yeah when it's supposed to matter they just suck yeah it's uh I don't know I just it's fun watching like a team and knowing

that it's going to produce the most nuclear takes like the Clippers are one of those teams where you have the star potential you have the Paul George playoff P which is a lightning rod and you just know you're going to get the takes but I guess my argument would be I think the Nets are the new Clippers because the Clippers have gotten to the point now where there is no like arguing I don't think it's worth like hashing out they said there's size they just stink that's what I'm saying it's just depressing and you're just like yeah they stink you're not caught in an argument of like can they do it are they going to be our kid is the kid is the chemistry going to work I don't know man they're still really

talented so I still think they're going to that the argument you just do you don't really have arguments about I think the Nets are the new Clippers in that regard we're like they're obviously very good they're super talented they're the favorites to win it but can't it work right do they have production after the first three guys and then now you can kind of argue about that and like is four guys yeah four guys sorry I forgot I forgot my it is Kyrie nuts and is James Harden a little too like you start have our can those three personalities mesh like that that's what the new Clippers are to me right yeah if you were if you were on the Nets so if we took Joe Harris off the Nets and we put

Mark Titus on it in your peak your peak abilities yeah yeah how many points could you score um I I mean I could hit open shots so I guess it comes down to that like I'd be good for like a couple threes a game okay sounds it sounds preposterous I know people listening are like you don't understand what goes into NBA and I do I get it like I would be very out of shape I could not guard anybody my uh my always like whenever I think about these hypotheticals my thought is always like how long can I be on the court before people realize this guy doesn't belong on this court right this guy this guy and I feel like I could I could disguise it for like a minute or two where I would look I could cut you know I

could cut hard off a day I would know where to be I would spot up in good position stuff our defense I get burned a couple times but I blame it on my teammates and I just point and I think if you're watching you'd be like all right you got burned but like maybe they're supposed to be helped there or something so I think I could disguise it for like two minutes but in all honesty I could hit open shots and I think like if you're playing with those three those three guys it's all you got to do is spot up in the corner so uh I'm good for like I'd go like two for seven from the three point line uh just spotting up in the corner I think that's pretty good yeah I'd go two for seven on defense did you

ever pull this move when you try to just like blend in pretend that you got blocked behind like a really good screen that you had trouble fighting your way through yeah that's why you weren't able to guard them yeah that's a good one I was great at dying uh dying on screens uh that was a great defensive move also the uh let the guy blow by you and then try to poke it from behind move yeah so you're gonna scream when a guy goes up for a layup that's also like a ah yeah it's a quick one the reach round I love doing that that's that's an all time I'm completely gassed but I'm gonna make like the bare minimum effort yeah right right I do that um I don't know a lot a lot of bad charge attempts um yeah I don't know but dying

on screens is a good one dying on because because in my mind when you're playing defense if you get screened that's basically just that's a good out of jail free card yeah yeah good off it now falls on the yeah yeah it now falls on the rest of the team to do something about it you're like all right my work here is done I've been so what about um what about uh the midwest teams you are mr midwest after all yeah are you rooting for the bucks uh I I think I'd have to be um because the bucks the bucks have like college basketball vibes where it's like they're they're Virginia before Virginia won the title or they're like Baylor you know where they're good every year but they can't get over the hump and people are counting

them out and I think like I'm cheering for them for that story because it's a small market um and yeah and and they play an ugly brand of basketball and uh I would like to I would like to see them pulled off I don't really know who I'm cheering for though I mean I'm cheering for small markets in general I want small markets I don't want Lakers Nets I definitely don't want that we're rooting for that just because of Blake Griffin and hoping that we get to like yeah some in some way like the first 400 text messages that he sends or like not responded to and then he sends like a text to us being like hey you want to come party with the team I was gonna say yeah the party did uh have you guys ever done that like pft

you did that with the caps kind of yeah with the caps after Stanley Cup that was uh that was quite a night yeah yeah I did with the Blackhawks both uh 13 and 15 it was very fun very very do I I imagine and the Cubs actually with Rizzo but that was different because baseball is different like the baseball the guys aren't like friends the same way but you weren't in Cleveland either like the night I'm not like the night oh no I was no I was doing I remember yes yes yes I was doing a day of I imagine NBA guys I don't know hockey guys can can party they can they can hockey yeah the scenario with the caps was it was in Las Vegas and they didn't fly home usually the the team that wins a Stanley Cup on the

road they'll get on a plane that night they'll go back to their hometown they'll party there but they're like we're in Vegas we're gonna stay here and that was uh yeah yeah that was it was absolutely insane well I tell you what if the Netson are playing the Lakers and they clinch in LA you guys got to come out to LA and then let me sneak into this party wait we got to come out to LA and state your house and then hope that my house yeah we'll all just be sit we'll lie we'll live stream all of us we'll have a solo come over we'll all go to Rossellos house and we'll just live stream the four of us staring at our phones waiting for Blake Griffin to text me I have a pretty good sense of like where I stand

with some of our guests slash like celebrity athletes I I would say that there's a point zero zero zero zero zero one percent chance that Blake Griffin would ever text us after and that's not a knock on Blake I just know like where I stand with him and I love him and I think he does consider us friends like this show and like all of us but I that would not happen what if you reach out to him though I think he would give me you hit me with the haha the button one yeah like hey you want to go out with the haha emphasize it would just be out be it and I'm like okay cool we're not even his favorite podcast so yeah shepherd that's probably gonna hang out with him after a while well it's hurt well now James Harden

that would be a fun guy to hang out with yeah that would be fun god damn it he would be like J.R. Smith except not putting on a show he just wouldn't put pants on for the next like who would be the least fun like of all the teams in the playoffs if they won would what would be the least fun team you get asked to go out with them or like you get to go party that night after they won the title and you're like I mean the clippers yeah the clippers Paul George is like Kawai standing in the corner I Beverly getting the fights with everybody yeah sneaky maybe most fun would be the Sixers I think Joel and B would be so much fun Joel and B would be a ton of fun he seems like a guy who would be like like trying he seems like a guy

who would want everyone else to have as much fun as him yeah I the yeah the Mavs I the idea of like Cuban and Luca I don't know if that would be fun or not I think it's it's it's one end of the spectrum and I don't know if it's like the worst party ever or food like Luca would get after it and be a ton of fun to be around what about the jazz if you win in Salt Lake City I guess you turn into a game and you could be like we could realistically try to drink every ounce of alcohol yeah in this yeah city well I mean the jazz would be if I was making a list of like parties I could most likely get into the jazz is probably at the top yeah that's yeah oh I mean the most fun is a no-brainer the Sun's we'd all get our dicks sucked right which where Jake goes

first what would you go Mark let's go around the room I call third I'll go last okay there we go third Mark wanted to say he wanted to go last but I could tell you was embarrassed you want second you want the two hole you can all right we'll give Mark the two hole and then we'll just go thank you for five but bubble back clean up yeah he's yeah bubble for Hank five pft six yeah I mean that would by far be the like I would imagine showed up the Sun's measure Frank he got us in the Sun's party we're like so I think the Celtics wouldn't be fun either no Celtics one should we talk about your boy so well I mean Brad Stevens is he is he coaching for his job well he's not my boy anymore he's not your boy anymore but I thought Indiana didn't offer him yeah they

didn't offer him but the same time they offered him $70 million but they and then he's like what they never offer me anything and yeah I I don't know I wish Brad well I I am from the Brad Stevens coaching tree he coached me when I was in second grade we we go way back so I I will cheer for Brad but the dream is dead the dream is officially dead I came on this show I tried to meme it into existence I tried to mean Brad Stevens that you but I really do like Mike Woodson are you nervous yet big cat that like all the the initial laughing at Mike Woodson is already I already looking shaky I told you I'm nervous because of Thad Mata like Mike Woodson does not make me nervous Thad Mata makes me nervous Thad Mata is a great recruiter and he knows how to build a program

so he would absolutely he absolutely makes me nervous and it's more I'm more nervous about like what the future is with Greg Guard than I am about you know what I mean it seems unstable mm-hmm so I that's that's that seems fair but you just got an extension didn't he so he'll be around for a little while yeah good for you yeah a little more stable now gonna get back to Titus in a second but first want to talk to you about our great great friends over at Coors Light you ever feel like summer just flies by what do you do when you need a moment to chill in the summer I'll tell you what you need to do you need to take a pause for the cause you need to crack open an ice cold Coors Light because it is the official beer of slowing down summer summer always feels

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world oh yes that's cold gonna be doing that a few times this weekend I'm gonna be drinking some ice-cold Coors Light some Colorado Kool-Aid you should too Coors Light is the official beer of slowing down summer show us your blue mountains all summer long because as the beer that's made to chill we want you to savor every second of summer get Coors Light summer packaging straight to your door with Drizly or with Instacart you can celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company Golden Colorado how long is Coach K gonna coach for? Tate is very much on the Tate Tate put in my ear that Coach K is gonna do a farewell tour this year whoa yeah and I haven't gotten out of my head since does he have any sources behind that or is he just like is it say it and then it will happen

like the secret hold on will it be year one because Coach K definitely is gonna do a I will be retiring in 2025 here's my last four years everyone really soak it in well also there's like imbalanced scheduling and the ACC so he wants to make sure that every ACC arena he'll have a chance to get to everyone so he's not gonna get to all of them this year but I'll you know next year we'll be able to get to all of them um no Tate has as is anything with with Duke and Tate like he's got sources but also like you could you could tell that guy anything that's like kind of bad about Duke and he's he's he's just chomping at the bit like yes I accepted his fact yeah I'm running with this so he definitely has sources he has people that are that said there's there's a plan in place um but

also I think he maybe didn't pay attention to details he just heard Coach K is retiring and this yeah interesting but he said it out loud and I listened to him make the case and I was like that makes a ton of sense all he really wanted to do is outlast Roy Roy retired I really do think like it's gonna be interesting with all these old guys in college basketball because uh the game as as you guys are probably aware is like college basketball is almost uh unrecognizable in terms of like how you construct a team than it was even like 10 years ago yeah uh and it wouldn't surprise me if all these old guys just do a K or not K Roy did where they just like wake up one day and they're like I don't I don't want to do this this is this is insane I don't want to like get into I don't

know how to log on to the transfer portal I don't want to do this and now I'm like you know you used to like if you're Jim Bayhime you're trying to recruit a guy to go to Syracuse instead of Duke and now you have to recruit guys to not go to the overtime league to not go like yeah like a prep school to not like go to Australia he's running out of sons that's his most effective recruiting I think you get to a point where maybe Bayhime you know I don't know he wakes up one day and his car's on he's like how'd I end up here and he's like I should probably retire he has kind of been a snake it's so mad when we make those fucking jokes he gets so mad yeah because buddy and jimmy are EWL yeah shout out buddy and jimmy we love buddy and jimmy I

like Jim Bayhime he's old school who's who's the here's another great question who is someone that confirmed listened to part of my take all the time huge AWL uh in the world of sports and athlete a coach or whatever where you're like that's cool you listen to the show still fuck you oh that's a good question I don't care I'm not gonna I don't care you're just trying to get us into a lot of trouble I think there are definitely some we've gotten a little bit better because I know at the beginning so at the beginning we would take pretty much any interview and I think we did turn some people that we would make fun of and then it's like oh we've lost those people now we're getting a little more conscious of like like dude perfect for example I bet you if we wanted to get

dude perfect on the show we could oh yeah but we would never do it because then we can't make fun of them easy answer Bryson DeShambo yeah he listens to the podcast yes oh okay all right there you go on the range yes he listens and he's the one guy yeah and we fucking hate him yeah so still fuck that guy hey Bryson fuck you I bet do you think in this girl for your podcast too Titus like who let's not say listener but yeah they are aware of it or it has been on at some point with them in the vicinity that you'd be like whoa that's awesome like like we know that uh like Tom Brady has heard this podcast because Julian Edelman has like played it in the car yeah you know what I mean like something like that like Tom Brady's not a listener but he knows of our

existence like do you think LeBron has ever had a podcast with Mark Titus on it like it's in a lot I don't know where I don't think you listen to podcast in the locker room no is he aware I think I'm at a perfect level where I have enough of an audience that I can make a living doing this and uh I can I can not worry about like where next month's rent's gonna come from and all that kind of stuff but I'm also at like I'm not you guys so um if you google sports podcast if you're a look like LeBron LeBron you know that he does google sports podcast that's how LeBron consumes all of his media when it comes time to read a book he just says like what are the best books oh the godfather I'm gonna pick that one up and read page one um so I feel like I'm at a great

level where like you don't really stumble across my show so you have to kind of seek it out so I I'm not really I don't think I don't anticipate a lot of the heavy hitters are listening but the one thing that like trips me out so I think like that for my world it would be like college coaches right and I know that Tom Izzo is aware of our show um and he definitely does not listen to it but like I met Tom is the first time ever met Tom Izzo uh I was I was throwing out this theory this is all the way back in 2016 Denzel Valentine was on Michigan State uh he was he was first team all-american Michigan State was ranked like number one in the country or number two something like that really early out of the gate they were playing out of their minds Brent Forbes

was on the team too uh who just had a great game for the books um and they they were awesome and then Denzel Valentine suddenly has to get his knee scoped and he's out for like two weeks or something and then Michigan State starts losing a couple games they're not playing that well and I threw out this theory that Denzel Valentine faked his knee injury that Tom Izzo told him we're peeking too soon and and we need you to sit out for a couple weeks because when Denzel Valentine comes back from his knee injury he's a hundred percent he's dunking on people he's he's explosive all all that stuff so I had this theory that uh Denzel Valentine faked his knee injury I was demanding to see the scars on his knee that he actually got it scoped all this kind of stuff Tom Izzo gets asked about

in a press conference someone raised their hand is like Tom uh what do you have to say about the theory that Denzel never actually had a knee scope and you just benched him for two weeks to because you guys were peeking too soon he's like what what the hell is going on fast forward like a week uh Michigan State's playing in Ohio State I'm working out at the shot with Greg Odin um and and we're coming down the stairs from the weight room or something and Izzo sees Greg and because the the team bus is pulling in to like go warm up or something he sees Greg he's like oh big man whatever gives him uh to have some ups starts talking to him uh good to see you again how's life all that stuff and he turns to me and he goes I'm Tom

is and I was like hey coach Mark Titus and he goes you're the guy he puts me in a big uh headlock and starts giving me a nougi and uh I'll never forget that moment I was like oh my god like some some of this bullshit I do on the internet like reaches these coaches which is uh wild to me so that was definitely that was definitely a moment for me but like I would say someone has a great story yeah like if if Izzo like Huggins if Huggins mentions like at a post game press conference he's like you know you know these these guys out here with these podcasts Titus and the Titus is the world I would I would shit my pants I'd have to retire I think you know well I I think you're selling yourself short a little bit because yeah you maybe not in like

the podcast format but you're so hot you probably get all the YouTube views so we probably do very poorly on YouTube compared to you we've got uh what faces for podcasting and and voices for blogging you have your TV guy yeah I'm a TV guy yeah I'm a TV guy on YouTube um Tom Korean reached out to me one time uh he called me and I I'll never forget that phone call when he just called and he's like do you have a problem with me that's just how he started the phone call like do you have a friend like are you obsessed with me and I was like yeah kind of kind of yeah no I mean sort of yeah like a guy holding a mirror like that to you to be like yeah I think I think this is going to be a problem and Tom Korean is the perfect example of of a guy who we interviewed and we're

like wow I feel like an asshole because you are a really nice guy who like genuinely cares about the kids and genuinely wants to do well and just things didn't go well for a couple years he's still he's still really weird I think if you're talking you have to understand that you have to like understand at a certain point that um I don't know you have to be self-deprecating you have to understand that that there's stuff about you that people are just gonna make fun of uh yeah but that's also like you can't not everyone can be John Harbaugh there's some Jim Harbaugh's you know what I mean like that's kind of how it how you break it down where it's like if you can figure out that like hey I'm a little weird or can you just you just kind of gonna be a little weird and let the chips

fall yeah is there uh is there someone that you made fun of all the time and then uh you found that they listened to the show or they came on the show I made it was Korean the answer I guess like that like I guess like a brick patino yeah no we love we didn't reply to you guys and was like love the show yeah I love Rick no we're big Rick fans well we know you know that I have a stalker yeah I know yeah okay yeah so we love Rick we have always loved Rick yeah we've never said anything bad about Rick we've always loved Kwame Brown too there was a time when I felt a little bad about the JJ Watt because like he I think he said to us he's like yeah my my grandmother like like would read all the comments on all my tweets and I'd be like okay yeah you know that

does humanize it a little bit but uh yeah he's hard man you gotta fight through and just be like I'm just gonna keep being an asshole yeah because you don't want to wake up and be like Wilbon you know where you're just like my my close personal friend right with every single athlete um you gotta you gotta make fun of some of these guys I actually was it was another one yeah Sean McVay met him at the combine and he was like hey uh you guys certainly take a lot of shots about my facial hair what's up with that and at that point I was actually like I need to go harder at his facial hair now because like Sean McVay should not care what me the person with the world's worst facial hair right has to say about his beard all the time right but I think we've done a good

enough job where it's like there's definitely there's like a camp of guys probably a dozen guys who I would consider like friends you know what I mean and I like I'll defend them forever and then the rest are just like we're friendly with them but they know that like we still have to do a show yeah like we still make fun of JJ Watt he's in that second category of like I he's we're friendly with him I would never say anything like overtly mean at this point but I still will say like he's he can be very lame yeah yeah and he has to yeah I think those those are my favorite guys like they had they they might be lame but I guess they understand that yeah you have to do a show and they're like I get it I would be fun of me too whatever like I feel like the college basketball

version of that is a muscleman that he's like he's he just does memes and and is kind of out of his mind in a lot of ways and I guess if you like make jokes about him about that he's like yeah man love the show right yeah no yeah he's a go with the flow he understands like he understands the constant game taking yourself too seriously is a very good way to turn people off right right I've actually noticed this about must is recently he's been about I think six or seven days behind on PMT yeah because he'll reply to like our podcast with like quotes from the podcast that came out like last Tuesday because it'd be a good test so must when you're hearing this yes tweet as tweet this quote directly back back at us so we can time this out he that's actually a confirmed fact because

anthony who his right hand man who I'm friends with said like yesterday said like muscle must loves the Dan Campbell interview so I was like okay that means like he he loved it uh yeah he's gonna be I love Titus on PMT yeah yeah that was fun and then he's gonna like mention something for me coming on in March or something yeah are you uh are you going to the Indy 500 this weekend I'm not it's sad uh I went every year for uh god I don't know how many or 20 years something like that I I grew up going to the race I transitioned from like sitting by the pits with my dad and watching them work on the cars and all that stuff and then I reached a certain age and I wanted to go to the infield and do that scene um and I've I've I went every year obviously last

year we didn't go they didn't have fans this year I was so excited to go back and then they announced that there's there's no infield seating and you have to like if you go to the race my understanding is you have to sit in the stands it's like 60 capacity and wear a mask and it just wasn't worth it that's not the race that's not the race can you explain to us because we're big f1 guys can you explain like indy car racing to us in terms of f1 well first of all they go faster so uh that's a little f1 you mean no no no no indy cars so that's a little turn twist and turns how many kilometers right how many kilometers does the indy go so it's it's a little lame to cheer to to watch the slower cars but I understand uh the the indy fight it's like watching college basketball

instead of mba right how you walked into that you did it probably is it probably is because if you're making the argument for me the one you'd be like you know the the the crowds are better they there there's more of a culture right there right it really is it kind of is and that in that regard I have no I have no rebuttal uh go watch for me the one it's better sorry uh the the hope for the indy 500 is largest sporting venue in the world uh ims you guys have been yes you guys walked around we saved your brother's life yeah where would my brother be if he couldn't crash in the uh i think dead the barstool rv yes wait so indy 500 yeah it does yeah largest venue in the world largest single day uh not this year but uh under normal circumstances

largest single day crowd for a sporting event anywhere in the world you will not find a sport event where more people for one day go to one spot to watch a sporting event than the indy 500 uh and and and beyond like the party scene which is it's it's a party there's no better party scene for sports i know the derby gets wild but the indy 500 is the derby but it's bigger and also you can bring your own alcohol into the to the track which you can't do at church old downs um and then on top of all that even beyond the party and the atmosphere and all that the race is awesome because it really is like it's an engineering marvel that that these guys are going this fast the track is basically flat so they're just like going into turns going 230 miles an hour and they have to

like kind of break and not hit each other in turn and uh it's wild it's wild so if if did you guys go to the race did you actually go to the race where you just kind of there for now and now we're there for a left posers yeah i just see the showed up you gotta see the vodka with fuzzy zeller and left yeah oh that's right yeah did you see the you gotta see the cars go around though like how fast they go what are they are they so are they like their cars and they go fast huh that's interesting it's really just a sporting event for for five year olds no i was gonna say on the on the i was gonna say when you're there oh my god my son would love it car whoa car car that backfired i was gonna say when you're there and you watch the car

is good like you get a appreciation for how fast they're going because they you know it's they're going fast you did a great job of selling this by the way there was um a story and i don't really understand the details of it but your good friend dan docic is working for door dash yeah um i yeah that's a wild story that's a wild story uh i will i will again i'm gonna can we go back to the taiwan thing i'll talk about yeah that was probably easier than oh my god i would love to hear docic's takes on on uh the people's republic of china order a pizza or something let's talk about yeah a song if you if you call into docket to show and ask him about taiwan he would he would like just google taiwan as you're asking the question and then he would just like be skimming

the wikipedia page and just firing off takes with like the most confidence in the world like here here's my thoughts it's just damn common sense it's a bigger country in taiwan my thing is this if you're an island if you're an island you shouldn't be like hawaii you should be your own country if you're not all right i had one last question for you uh so the ringer union i started people don't know this this is a true story i i this is this is i i don't know why i'm telling you this i might get in trouble for but this is a true story i actually started the ringer union and then left and that was the plan all along is that i was going to light a stick of dynamite drop it in the ringer and then bounce and go to fox and let everyone else deal with it

so i recruited everybody to join the union i was going around with a clipboard and a sign-up sheet i presented i had and then i walked into bill's office and i had two pieces of paper and one was the the union where we had enough signatures to actually form a union and the other was my resignation letter and uh and then i walked out and uh take them both you're gonna need both of them i love it i have one last last question are you a ohio state apologist like through and through like urban meyer good guy yeah he did everything he could no no he did everything he could that's another deal that you're trying to like dan has tried to get me to get uh that i'm not an urban meyer fan i was never an urban meyer fan i was a fan of herb like i was results i was a fan of

his results yeah like i was definitely a hypocrite and that i was like i will take all of the winning but uh the guy like he was he was a mercenary and i knew that and like he was using ohio state to he was lebron the urban meyer and lebron were the same person that was like i i'm going to use this to get what i need out of it i'm going to use this state ohio and then i'm once i get what i need i'm gone and that that's that and uh i saw through it i'm a jim trestle guy trestle trestle is the greatest big punk guy he is unbelievable uh he he's a guy that like genuinely cares and genuinely gets it and uh so that's like urban or the way urban handled things at ohio state was like polar opposite just in talking to like people that dealt with i knew people that played football

at ohio state this is a true story uh i know people that played for urban meyer ohio state that were starters for ohio state and urban meyer did not know their name i swear to god just started they started football games at ohio state and urban meyer did not know their name yeah i mean so once you hear that you're like i i mean i'm not gonna like bend over backwards defending the guy and cheer for him but at the same time like i do love that we kick everyone's ass so i'm not gonna you know i'm not gonna like protest to be like i'm done with ohio state football like i'm yeah i don't know why it's really your urban meyer like fandom can be summed up if you ask like hey mark titus uh at what cost would you uh have for a national title and your cost would be

like uh you know domestic violence in in human beings being uh significantly hurt and emotionally psychologists you know all these tattoos tattoos all these that's your cost everyone's got a cost that was trestle yeah yeah it's like the best to confuse tattoos like we're still always like i don't like trump but the tax breaks are pretty hey uh speaking of ohio state football the one thing i wanted to talk about before we get out here dan um where where walk me through the justin fields experience with the with the bear with the bears now because uh i feel like you're not as excited about this you should be no i'm more than excited okay because i i get a sense from you that you're like i don't want to be too excited because i've been down this road before i have i

have i gotta be honest i'm justin fields is my favorite ohio state player of all time it was justin fields came along i love everything about the guy i he is so easy to root for he he uh i i loved watching that guy play football um and i i think i've reached a point where i'm going to be a bears fan because i don't really cheer for an nfl team i watch all the the nfl games but uh i'm going to be a bears fan because justin fields having success in the nfl is good for ohio state obviously like nobody's drafted everyone says ohio state can't produce good quarterbacks but my question you dan is what happens like if if justin fields is successful is this more of a win for ohio state or for the chicago bears history of quarterbacks you know what i mean oh who gets to

be like yeah i can't make one of our quarterbacks anymore i think we do like oh yeah like a press conference together we do enjoy press we're like hey everyone's like the when you bring up quarterbacks justin field is the only one you should bring up i'm so i can't shake me yeah where exactly oh it's uh bears fans and then ohio state fans and the ohio state fan has a free tattoo on his body right exactly exactly and the bears fans has has like a few broken fingers and it's like this is this quarterback this quarter is craig krenzel uh i am over the moon the only thing that i'm tempering my expectations is i know that matt nagy is not going to start him week one so i have to like i want him to start right away i want i want i want to jump right in i want to do the thing i

don't want to watch andy dalton on sunday night football nice guy seems like a nice guy nice family he was on the you know we interviewed him i really just want to start this error because i really do think he is special and here's the thing i'm at the point too that if he if it fails i might just it might just be done i might be done yeah with everything well that that's my fear so how does it feel like what uh i know the bears aren't the greatest organization but it's it a lot of the problems with nfl commentary is that like as a guy who doesn't really get into the weeds and pay that much attention is it just feels like it's just it's it's all just sort of this like if you're not one of like four franchises that like actually knows what the hell you're doing

it feels like everyone just says lol browns lol jets right lol bears and you're like okay but like what's the difference between the jets and the bears and the lions and the browns the like so what what is the bear situation if what how is this going to go what should i be prepared for as i'm diving in ready to cheer for justin the bears are a cheap franchise in that they're like the jets those guys have money right like so their problem isn't that they don't have money and that they're not like trying to spend away their problems they're just incompetent the bears the mcasky's like that's all their money is tied up in the bears because it's there it's the family like you know air right so they don't have they weren't like a big businessman or business woman

and then became the bear's owners they have just been the bear's owners so like an accountant runs the fucking team and they do shit where it's like all right well we'll keep this coach or you know we won't have as many scouts or like we won't upgrade this our injuries all these things so they're just they're not they just want to basically sell 1985 memorabilia and be like hey every five to ten years the bears will win a couple playoff games you'd be like bears are back bears are back and i fall into it we all fall into it you do that's fine i could i could live with that yeah so that's how it's gonna fail and it will just fail and it will be epic but uh i don't think it's gonna fail j cutler just said today i wouldn't play justin fields to start he said i would let

him watch it's a tough spot especially in chicago i think andy dalton is more than serviceable yeah but i think i i think i serviceable that's a glowing huge more than serviceable yeah you have a guy on the bench that like the whole city's foaming at the mouth to see and more than service or the guy that's more than service i do think that you have to say all of these things i hope that the bears are saying all these things and secretly like not meaning it and they're just going to you know operate under the assumption that he will be starting week one but you can't have him go into like his first off season or not even his first off season his first training camp his first ota with the pressure being like this is going to be the guy and the and the bears

are doing a thing like so the the perfect explanation is ryan pace has now had so he drafted he traded for mike glenn or signed mike glenn and drafted mr bisky got nick foals got andy dalton got justin fields he's had five five quarterbacks the old gm gets five quarterbacks right yeah and he's had two head coaches he's had five quarterbacks and the bears are like well let's let him just do this draft so now he gets justin fields so so even if justin fields is good then that means that ryan pace and matt nagy keep their jobs which they're probably not very fit for their jobs and then the cycle continues like that i got you i got you stupid okay that's okay well but welcome welcome we're gonna have you we're glad to have you this will be i uh yeah it's it's

gonna work and if it doesn't like you said i i we're blaming it i just want to get out ahead of it that i'll just jump in front of a bus it's if it justin fields in chicago does not work out it is the bears fault do not blame this on ohio state quarterbacks it is it is the it is the put that one in the bears um don't blame justin fields that's all i'm gonna blame george the man's that's that's an easy one blame george yes and i mean i just you just i mean you refer to lebron and urban mires mercenaries justin fields died in the wool no no no no justin fields uh loves ohio state uh he and also so did joe burrow joe burrow is also an ohio state guy yes i mean you could do that we had joe burrow and we get justin fields that's how it works um no i i love that that's

like that's the future of college sports though it's like that i there they're really like taten i've thrown around an idea of uh doing an off season show where we like decide who gets to claim which players of because they're the more transfers that are happening it's more the the waters are are muddy but i yeah i mean i love doing that i i always have people just reply i'm like russa willson russa willson's yeah yeah and it's like okay well i'm claiming him yeah we should we should do like a draft you get to do a draft right it should be just by conference like who is who are these guys maybe like in five years when more transfers happen we'll have enough we'll have enough where we can do a full on draft and like who gets these people a reverse draft where colleges take players

from the pros right and claim them yeah you're recruiting you're recruiting them back to your college right for the legacy but that's the matters of basketball at least like the which uh i would love lebron to do a recruitment where he like picks which school he would have gone to for real and like he has to stick with it instead of saying like i was definitely going to how state and duke and i mean kobe did the same thing yeah just say whatever school um i i love that idea of you have to re-recruit the pros and get it back and then now you can use them for recruiting purposes i also want you to know you said something brilliant earlier and you could honestly make this a full time podcast is just uh whether or not like lebron james or urban meyer is the bigger

ohio vampire like which one of these is the bigger locust that just used our state and left that right there that that could fuel at least a month of first take yeah well people are going to throw me on there they're going to be like titus who are who you're not even from ohio you live there for a little while you you made ohio state basketball your brand and then you moved to california so i mean you said it you know i should look in the mirror yeah but you look look in the mirror yeah look in the mirror and you see a hot dude like that's just guys gassing each other up you guys look great too by the way oh thanks it took us five times of coming in for you to finally reciprocate uh by the way the sneaky last thing um my favorite

thing that like i don't know why this started but uh stanford steve and i i think oh it's because the wings we we were trying to get wings at a final four like three years ago so it was me stanford steve it was one of those stories where everyone thinks they're right and that's what makes it so funny it's like neither none of us are backing down that you you and steve uh it was like 130 a.m. he has my back yeah and yeah yeah and it was just like a difference of lifestyle because i have no idea i was it was it was in hong kong so yeah we're at the final four and it's like one a.m. but i it's very very late and and we're i don't know it's late for us old dudes and we're the the scene is winding down and you and you and steve are talking about going to get wings tomorrow

you made a date and yeah you made a date you're like at noon tomorrow we're gonna go to this place and get wings and like you're like i heard this place is the best wing place in minnesota and then you guys invited me you're like titus you want to go get wings at this place that has the best wings in minneapolis and and and seeing you two alphas just like the the the stature that i don't know the whole it was the most intimidating thing i've ever seen in my life because i have never once in my life quote-unquote gone to get wings you just like what go to a restaurant and then you order wings while you're there no or like you know what i mean i knew you mark tell me your casual without telling me yeah we were making plans we were literally like all right see you

tomorrow like well let's meet at this place yeah tomorrow wings i do that typically like once every two weeks i make a wing normal matter of fact i know it's my last my last meal that i had at a restaurant before the pandemic closed everything down was on a wing lunch with your co-host charlotte wilder at buffalo wild wings in time square that was my last meal before they closed down the entire city i'm not anti-way i eat wings i go i go to get wings it was the the like the way it would go down with me and my friends i'd say hey you want to grab lunch tomorrow and then you're like yeah let's grab lunch let's figure it out then maybe the day of you're like what do you think and you're like i'm in the mood for wings let's go to b-dub or let's go wherever we don't say like the night

before yes all right on my schedule we are going to get wings no and so that whole uh that whole invitation intimidated the hell out of me and then you and steve have have uh mocked me ever since you're wrong because i actually think we made that we like a week before when it was like usually steve and i are like hey you go into this event you go into this event he's like hey you go to final form like yeah he's like all right we got to get wings like yeah you're talking about wings like it's netflix and chill we'll see what happens come over yes like we're talking about wings like we have a gang bang scheduled for next weekend show up seven o'clock sharp uh no latex yes and i i was not aware of uh of this this lifestyle i always think is there is there anything else that

you do that with is there any other food in yet like should i like i don't want this to happen to steaks we're ice cream ice cream go get some ice cream next weekend yeah i would say steaks i'd be like yeah well let's go let's go get a steak tomorrow night steaks yeah i i yeah i don't know yeah you play it out but wings is definitely like that's an event because you also play in your whole day around it pre tom tom gotta like gotta sit in your hotel room with the a c on and maybe take a shit with your shirt off like there's a whole thing i just want to i just want to make it clear so everyone listening doesn't get the wrong idea like i i will go get wings i will put down a big plate of wings i will i can i can hang with the fellas i'm not i'm not john rosting where

i asked rosting like what's your b-dubs already is like never i don't bar coast carry style yeah change your life but anyway no i asked i asked rosting one time what do you get at b-dubs he's like i've never been yeah i'm not surprised um i'm not like i i i can hang with the fellas i'm one of the guys it sounds like it when you put down an entire plate of wings i imagine you're talking like 12 definitely boneless definitely the um the only reason i want to bring that up though and this is i've never said this out loud to mark but for some reason steve uh now every time he texts that that thread from like three years ago he always spells mark's name with a c and it cracks me up every time i don't know why it's the dumbest thing ever

but it makes me laugh every time to just get your name wrong like that and it's just i again this is this is for no one at this point but just saying out loud mark i think it's very funny that he does i've also i've also done the uh it just reeks of desperation i think you guys could smell it which is why it doesn't work but uh every so often i try to to readjust the the order of the group chat with three of us where instead of you guys ganging up on me i try to get like dan on my side to like hang up on steve because we're wing bros it's it started because of wings and that's how i do i know mark with a k gets wings mark with a c he's like i'll can we just do some wraps yeah i have a bottle of chicken wrap yeah yeah i smoke cigarettes is

like i skip meals and i i'm french you know mark with a c smokes cloves you're like no you gotta try it it's really it tastes really great they're just like cigarettes look at you just found in that water all right all right this has been awesome we love you um and we hopefully will do a life part two i was gonna say yeah in august congrats on baby number two um i we got to do that let's do a life part two i enjoyed doing that i had a lot of notes um we had an awesome idea which i can just say we're gonna do it but we're gonna do a draft uh analysis of ourselves both good and bad like being brutally honest upside down sides yes that would be very very good so we're gonna do that we promise people we gotta do it in person yes i think we gotta come to new york yeah we'll come

home you guys can't go away yeah we'll come to call it yeah come to call it yeah that'd be fun all right all tightest have a great uh long weekend and uh everyone enjoy the indy 500 car car car car cars going in circles fast car awesome fast car do they honk at each other i'm driving here you gotta throw your hand up like that yeah all right thanks dude see you guys we'll talk to you later mark tightest is brought to you by me andy's summer is here which might mean leaving the great indoors for a dip in the great outdoors whether that's a pool an ocean a fjord what's a fjord feel like that's if you're a board in ferrari or no that's good combination yeah for that's a movie yeah true yeah okay so if you're in a fjord shout out our swedish listen

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undies has a great offer for our listeners for any first time purchasers you get 15% off you get free shipping to get your 15% off your first order and free shipping go to me undies dot com slash take that's me undies dot com slash take all right fire press of the week let's do it send everyone off jake you want to start long week oh jake's not here mr. vacation himself jake march was the og crew just the four of us back when when life was not complicated with our two sons back when we used to sit on the radiator yeah that was a that was a scene oh for a long time you're not shocked remember when howie mandel came in he was like who's that guy sitting on the radiator and the worst part is the whole time he was sitting on the radiator he couldn't see any

colors and and i'm pretty sure i had a boot on like half the time yeah well that's your own fault you got hit by a car do you think that getting left off the part in my flakes box was like that was the start of jake march's championship oh he's a good boy he's like i guess you can say i took that person yeah big time all right so jake no firefest okay uh my fire you know what you just did though what now i'm not gonna say jake's jake's rent free and hang said no no no no no yeah he won't say no no that's not what i was gonna say that's some rent free shit though that's not what i was gonna say we weren't thinking about that word don't don't say that word what's this word soft no shame yeah no you just vacation you know i i forgot i forgot he wasn't here

yeah you did no that's why you vacation shame jake never i would never i would never i would literally never just shamed him that i would never wow ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun the biggest vacation for it's not on this podcast you 100% vacation now i literally i'm looking at you guys my peripherals are bad i forgot he wasn't there uh-huh vacation chamber um anyway welcome to the to the dark side hank yeah i feel terrible about myself uh my firefest the week it is vacation coming up big weekend holiday weekend i booked a haircut uh for yesterday i showed up to the haircut it's fellow barber so it's like a chain there's a bunch around new york there was one in brooklyn right next to where i used to live yep and when i went to register online it was i

guess it was like my saved place so i thought i chose a place near me i walked in there like yeah you have no appointment here and i was like is there anything available they're like no i've it's the worst i've sent it's a hat weekend for you yeah i've sent so many packages to the old office yeah it sucks it's brutal yes i just have it like saved in there and the feeling when they're just like you know when you can they're like oh it's the reservation and then you say it and they're looking and you can just tell after a few seconds you're like nope this isn't here isn't there i did that about once a week with the food order where i accidentally sent it to the officer to my apartment yeah that's a bad feeling wait what'd you say i like reserved it because the other

place like oh well you reserved it like wait so do you you have to reserve your haircut you didn't get to didn't take walk-ins after that there was no one available like you you know yeah all our barbers are booked for the next few hours that's why you go to sport clips hank and they give you the tax 15 minutes before right and the legendary steam towel right i'm gonna take your man card for not going to sport clips i'm probably i'm probably will this weekend i gotta i'm gonna get a haircut in in situate area so i got a haircut today thanks for mentioning guys uh and they should just do they should honestly do um well i just got trimmed yeah yeah yeah i didn't want to go full full blown uh i think i'm actually gonna become a every two week haircut guy a mini jefty low

that's what jeft does yeah he does every week right not always it's like every fortnight essentially because what i realized is i can't i can't be held accountable like i go sometimes i'll go nine weeks without a haircut and then sometimes i'll go three and it's i gotta get on a pattern but the worst thing about my hair is business like when i see business hair i'm like it's kind of gross but that's exactly how my hair is gross the they should really we should start a barbershop that's just not a barbershop it's just a hot towel it's a tv series i would go yeah profile guests but if you if you talk shop if you could just go in for a 10 minute quick hot it amazon here's a free idea instead of your fucking tell your boo box uh tell telephone telephone booth

jails do just a hot towel 10 minute hot towel head massage i like where hang says that would actually be huge huge we just get people we get people to come in like we turn one of these rooms here into almost like some sort of shop and we just put a towel around their neck and then we sit down we get maybe musicians and actors just kind of going back and forth but being real and like authentic with it yeah and then we put that on HBO real ass well don't leave that real ass hell no it'll be some loud ass hell yeah that's the name of the show loud ass hell good firefest hank thank you um i'm happy everything else is going well everything else in my life is going check out stool streams play barstool app it's been awesome i'm gonna play cornhole next week bags you won

42 yet nothing yesterday yeah it was the most dominating performance ever in the history of trip well except for except for jake speedrun that he did through the obstacle course well it's the perfect games yeah but you know what he's not here because we're gonna shame him so he's not he's not even the best one here right now not right now that's true that's really i'm the best one here shame his ass um my firefest well i guess the first firefest since hank didn't want to bring it up but you can do a uh $250 play right now in indiana and say indiana on the barstool sports book and if you win what's what do you get do you get to go to the you get to go to the indy 500 party you get to go to the indy 500 party with machine gun killing diplo yes so i should be great hank

didn't want to bring that up for whatever reason so i guess i'll just ten thousand dollar bet you get a table wow you're kind of a machine gun kelly stan this past year i love you i love oh his new album is really good nice you can put travis barker on anything like travis barker could be sitting behind barney the dinosaur and i'd be like got a dvr that he is awesome um my firefest is that i've got water damage in my apartment so it rained last night they've been doing construction upstairs for me i walk out into my living room um i had like four framed posters one framed new zealand all blacks jersey that just fell off the wall because the wall got soaked through had big puddles on my floor did they break uh yeah one of them broke and so then i've got like cracks

on my ceiling you were telling me the other day that it was uh one of a kind it was what forty thousand dollars it was boat and barrett yeah forty thousand autograph boat and barrett new zealand all blacks it was forty thousand dollars it was forty five thousand dollars i think right now it depreciates so it's forty thousand dollars i hope your landlord has insurance yeah so we're gonna have to work that out but it was um i walked it was so weird walking on to my living room and just seeing it looked like a war zone and then i went up i touched the wall and the wall was just soaked bonk to my apartment but it was just i i don't know what i'm gonna do because they have to like take take care of mold i guess yes i don't know i'm not i'm not a sounds like

free run yeah sounds like you you got to stop paying rent yeah i should i'll go on a one-man rent strike yeah i like that uh but yeah that's just it's something that i'm gonna have to deal with in addition to my elevator not working so i forgot about new york's back baby there's no way your elevator oh yeah it takes a long time to replace an elevator turns out yeah very long so i forgot about i gotta walk up now fifth floor walk up just resign my lease pretty good legs legs look good it is good for 20 yeah it does feel like forever go the elevator needed to be fixed the elevator has been breaking for the last year and a half but they've just now started to replace it like a month and a half ago two months ago it turns out takes like they have to go to what if they said

it's a 99 success rate in the elevator great i'll ride it every day i'm sick of the stairs and it turns out what if they say it's 85 success rate but you only have to take one trip instead of two okay easy i would just i would just take the elevator up and then the stairs down okay perfect that's easy yeah that's i would do the same yeah play the odds do the same but it turns out you have to take it you have to remove the elevator through the roof yeah it's like a cake up correct we'll walk up yes yeah yes so that's tough that's tough my apartment just it's going to shit right now that sucks well my fire sure you have lots of space for as much as you pay okay yeah i really do i got pretty decent pass that was such an awesome burn by that whoever made

that meme like nick's fans going home after trade down dropped 40 on them and it's just like a little closet $2,000 apartment it's like yeah that's kind of right 100 square feet i've upgraded i'm i'm working with like 700 square feet now so nice maybe 800 it might be 800 i haven't walked it out so we'll see all right my firefest is someone else's firefest is dick right now so dicky v had just the i would actually say and i know this is going to be uh people like that's hyperbole i'd say it's the worst flight ever you also didn't mention kony pfd oh yeah oh yeah you got him hey grab applause for everybody out there well i'm actually not going to applaud yeah yeah i'm gonna take my hat that should be your morning yeah yeah is that they caught your boy yeah you're in mourning your man kony so yeah

shout out coronavirus bad tough day to be a corona bro turns out the virus killed joseph kony it was all worth allegedly all this pandemic was worth yeah kony if we got that one guy that was the only way to get it but yeah dicky v had the worst flight ever he um his breakfast was bad on the flight first class flight orlando to san francisco he said i can't believe that today on our flight flying first class from orlando san francisco that united has the nerve to serve for breakfast the most options i have ever seen this is the first time in my life that i have ever complained but this is a joke over five hour flight and then he uh he talked about like how they should just offer like whatever like eggs cereal fruit anything and then when he got off the flight he said that it was

he sprinted to a concession stand because his stomach was churning because he was so hungry from the awful option so um shout out dicky v it sounds like a nightmare honestly yeah i feel i feel pain anytime you can work in like i'm flying first class and the food sucks usually people will have a lot of pity for you worst plane flights twa panam dicky v going cross country from florida yeah to san francisco i also think that's just a super old person thing i feel like they don't ever serve food yeah cross country flights anymore like back in the day maybe right but i feel like i've never i haven't been on a flight from like california to new york i like where they're like here's a meal basically if they let you choose two of like the uh cheez-its nuts and like some kind of

chewy bar they let you say hey pick two that's the best you'll ever get yeah and you can honestly just give me a stoop waffle and i'll be like great meal yeah those things are just cracked yeah how bad would a meal have to be in order for you to complain about it and say like it was unacceptable on twitter what do you think they try i think i have to i think i have to medium instead of medium air plus i think you'd have to like give me the the black plague like instantly yeah yeah you open it up and there's just baby spiders that crawl out of it yeah you know what the worst feeling is when i realized a long time ago but i get reminded of it every now and then that i am fat and that i will eat anything but when we were in west virginia the last time for ruffin rowdy you

went out to lunch with some of the guys who were doing the call and uh was like four five us all ordered a steak and the other four people had one bite and were like it's disgusting and i looked up and i had just finished the whole steak and i was like why aren't you guys like it's gross it's a worse take ever how can a steak be gross it was very bad but i ate the whole thing yeah i wouldn't eat any steak but it was those moments when i realized like i am basically a garbage disposal and i'll eat anything it really it does hurt my feelings i just wonder what they tried to give our sweet prince sticky v it must have been bad for him to complain speaking of our sweet prince five year anniversary i mentioned that at the top of the show you weren't here for that

right that's going to be my first line r.i.p now this is some people actually don't understand that we record sometimes parts of the show like everyone this is now we're getting here here we go the magic how it's made they're like you called josh allen at 12 30 in the morning and he picked up like nope we recorded that at three o'clock in the afternoon so what do you think had had a bigger impact on but that came part of my game after the beginning which was recorded at yes 12 30 yeah times crazy we will sometimes record pieces of the show and put it all together like right now we have no idea quick lakers sons who won uh sons the sons won big time i think the lakers won but the sun's covered okay and i think the blazers killed the whoever they're playing

nuggets nope and wrong heat culture back wrong again really well i guess this is the best part of the show now because we'll find out at the beginning right mm-hmm so i have blazers lakers heat i have bucks sons plus seven nuggets i got lakers sons i actually have a push in that game and then i've got the blazers and the heat the fans in miami they're they're gonna be rocking that arena is always big oh man all right we'll see everyone tuesday enjoy your long weekend have a nice cold give me number eight wait liam has jake's fact oh yeah oh also let's guess what jake would have guessed for the number 18 18 he's always an original kid ever well it's wow it's because it's

in the lower bank has been very chesty without jake also been walking around with big old balls also getting that was a joke that was a joke that was a joke in today's culture you're just you're going after his religion no i just wanted to pick a different number all right eight he already won this continuously daily published newspaper is a boston globe which was founded in 1872 wow very cool jake 99 was your pick liam 56 there's five we five year anniversary i should have picked it no but also we i think we've had every single digit oh yeah we we had one two three still in there i mean that's harambe right there that's not that's not a that's magic that's that's a gorilla at the start of the show that's our sweet prince that is our sweet prince r.a.p there's no way

mash up for him oh yeah oh that's right oh my god harambe that's what got him this job no well it's what it's what put him on the on the map for us all right god i forgot that close saturday for the boys first and then this song this song that you're about to hear was like one of the first songs that i made i edited the video put it on youtube and then another account like took it posted on their youtube and their facebook and it got like a trillion views mm-hmm and it's just our song that we got no credit for it's bad producing i guess yeah yeah we need lawyers love you guys he was such a good gorilla he did not deserve the fate that he incurred

shot straight through his gorilla heart what did our friend have to go and get murdered or i'd be in peace my friend the hit was ordered by the u.s. government i'm here without harambe but he's still on my all in mind i think about harambe and i dream about him all the time i'm here without harambe but he's still with me in my dreams and tonight it's harambe and me oh everyone chose to ignore it the mainstream media didn't give a shit but we have taken up for your cause we know hillary is who ordered the hit

oh yeah i'm here without harambe but he's still on my all in mind i think about harambe and i dream about him all the time i'm here without harambe but he's still with me in my dreams and tonight it's harambe and me every time i cry it's a long day of my mind it's still hard but we know you're all right in heaven and when they're shuffling out when they try to take you down they didn't know that you're forever in our hearts oh

hey get down for harambe i'm here without harambe but he's still on my all in mind i think about harambe and i dream about him all the time i'm here without harambe but he's still with me in my dreams and tonight it's harambe and me