Pardon My Take - NBA W/ Kirk Goldsberry, Our Lawyer Mr Portnoy And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Episode Date: June 11, 2021

Bruce Brown went for it and our PLL team better start winning. Nets/Bucks and other NBA playoffs (3:33 - 14:17). Bruins lose and we talk the 12 team CFB playoff (14:17 - 29:42). Kirk Goldsberry joins the show to talk NBA Playoffs, Jokic MVP, the Nets super team, and the Grateful Dead (29:42 - 66:02). Mr Portnoy joins the show to catch up with the guys and test his brain to make sure hes sharp as ever (66:02 - 98:46). We finish with fyre fest of the weekYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have a two for Friday. One of our favorite old-time recurring guests is back, Mr. Portnoy. Great talk with him. We're going to get him back in the mix. We also have some NBA talk with the very smart Kirk Goldsbury, a little bonus Grateful

Dead talk as well. We're going to recap some of the games we've watched. We are going to talk a quick bit about college football, going to 12 teams, and then we will do Firefest the Week and send you on your way for a great sports weekend. And guess what? Part of the sports weekend is the Premier La Crosse League. Yep, watch the world's best La Crosse players battle for the championship in this year's Premier La Crosse League season this weekend, June 11th.

What's June 11th? Oh, Saturday. June 11th. Yeah. Right? Chaos vs. Water Dogs. That's an L for us. No.

June 11th is Friday. June 11th. It's the 10th right now on Thursday. What did I say? Did I say today? June 11th is today, Friday. Okay. Today, Chaos vs. Water Dogs.

L for us. Whipsnakes vs. Cannons on Saturday at 12 p.m. Eastern NBC, the traditional NBC. Chris Hogan. Chris Hogan. It's kind of funny that Paul Rable puts himself on the big network. We'll hash that out next week when he comes in. We have a lot of things to talk to him about. Wait, he didn't play last week when he was on the cock?

No, he did. He did. But he, you know, he got that. I think all games are on Peacock. Nope. I'm reading it right here. NBC, 12 o'clock. Plus.

Whipsnakes vs. Cannons. Watch it live. Redwoods vs. Atlas at 3 o'clock, NBC Sports Network. And then on Sunday, the Water Dogs take another L to the Chrome, NBC Sports Network, 1 p.m. Eastern. If they win one of these games, can you like be a little positive? Yeah, I will. If they win one of these games, it's because we motivated them.

How about if they score on a power play? The 2021 PLL season will be broadcasted on NBC and NBC Sports Network with all 43 games streamed live on Peacock all summer long. June through September, the PLL will be traveling to a city near you. The season stops include Boston, already done, Atlanta, Baltimore, Long Island, Minneapolis, San Jose, Washington, D.C. and more head to Ticketmaster to pick up tickets or make sure to tune in. NBC, NBC Sports or Peacock to catch the action.

The sport of the future is here. You can find them at Premier La Crosse on Twitter and at PLL on Instagram. Get involved. Our Water Dogs are playing. They're going to win. And if they don't, whatever. Do we have a hashtag for the Water Dogs? Hashtag Water Dogs.

Last year it was hashtag every game is a revenge game. Yeah. What about, Hank, what were you saying, hashtag on dogs? On dogs. Hashtag all dogs go to heaven except Water Dogs because they stink. Hell dogs. That's a long hashtag. All right.

Let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by the PLL Premier La Crosse League all weekend long. You can watch our team, the Water Dogs, most likely lose to the Chrome on Sunday at one PM Eastern NBC Sports Network. Check it out. We'll be watching Premier La Crosse all weekend and all summer long. Today is Friday, June 11th and Bruce Brown. He tried to take his moment.

I love this guy. Big cat. It's Friday. Friday. People are going to, you're going to get clapped. You know what I was going to clap you know why I didn't say it because I was thinking about how bad the Water Dogs are going to play this weekend. Yeah.

I'm in a bummer. That's your firefest as we own the worst team in the history of sports. I want to give credit to myself real quick. Little self credit. Jake's putting the stuff out there. Self credit. I saw the Water Dogs officially tweet being like getting better every day and it was a picture of all them in a huddle at practice and I almost replied doubt it.

But I didn't. Okay. That's good. I heard some juicy PLL news actually. You know the guy that got his finger bitten off? Yeah. The guy that got circumcised on his knuckle. Turns out his dad started the fight allegedly.

Okay. In the lobby. A lacrosse dad started a fight because the player was talking shit about his son and then it escalated. The guy fish hooked him and that's how the finger got bitten off. So in my book if you fish hook, if your finger is in another man's mouth it's chomp on. Yeah. The fish hook is a great move.

It's so respectful. If you can really get someone with a fish hook it's very hard to get out. I mean in UFC when they had no rules back in the day when they just make people fight all weekend long the only rules were like no fish hooks. Yeah. That's it. We should make a fish hook bet. Jake if I fish hooked you what would you do?

Probably scream because it hurts. Oh okay. He's honest. Jake is never alive. What would you do? You'd go for my balls easily. Like a badger. Like a badger.

Uh huh. Just grab on him. Alright let's talk some basketball though. So Bruce Brown game. Bruce Brown. I love this guy. Well he played well tonight. So there's a lot of Bruce Brown slander which is probably okay to have for the final shot

where actually the final like few minutes where he was shooting floaters. He said fuck it I'm going to take this game Kyrie KD. You guys never made a big shot in your life. It's Bruce Brown time but that does kind of overshadow the fact that he did bring the nets back in the second quarter when they were getting blown out by the Bucks and in all time like throwback felt like it was remember when the Pistons played the Spurs and the NBA Finals it felt like that game where it just bricks everywhere. Old school basketball.

Real ugly shit. It is nice to see a final score where teams are in the 80s just like looking at it not to watch the game not by any stretch but to just look at the box score and be like yeah I like something new like we're used to seeing 110 versus you know 116 for every single game. Yes. This is a nice little throwback. I don't hate that. And Bruce Brown.

Yeah. At the end a little rush of blood to the head. But I think we should be fair Joe Harris. This could also be called the Joe Harris game because I think he went one for ten one for eleven. He's our guy. He's our guy went one for seven from three points. And I think in the interest of consistency because if James Harden had had this type

of game the one that Joe Harris had we'd all be asking like what kind of drugs was James Harden on. Wait fair we should ask no since since no no I think we should since Joe Harris had this game we should wonder what kind of drugs was James Harden on tonight. Yes. Well that shirt the shirt the shirt was a I'm going out after this game shirt. Oh it looked like the shirt that the worst kid in your class wore for picture day. He's going to cruise in Chubbys in the Wisconsin Dells after this game.

It looked like what Bubba sees when he looks at a magic eye poster. Yes. Yes it actually was that shirt was fire for you Bubba. By the way I just looked it up in that series the it was seven the Pistons versus Spurs for all the young AWOs out there who don't remember basketball back in the day 2005 so not even that far back in the day four out or sorry five out of the seven games the losing team didn't crack 80 game seven was 81 74 Spurs over the Pistons game one was 84 69 Spurs over the Pistons.

And you know what I still remember that series because it was kind of fun to watch. Yeah. Also because you had Rachid Wallace and Ben Wallace the highest scoring game was 96 95 there was also a fun fact I saw online that the over under missed by 65 and a half points tonight. That's the most they couldn't find the over yeah the second half over looked good in my mind. They were tracking tracking all the way back to 2005 there hadn't been anything that was

even close to that the biggest was 60 points that had missed this one missed by 65 and a half. It was an awful game to watch but still exciting and guess what the Bucks stole a game. It's officially kind of feels like a series. I don't. Well they stole a quarter tonight they stole the first quarter the first quarter the Nets ended up with 11 points I think and it's tough to come back from that even at that point I thought that the Bucks were going to end up losing by 10 but if you have 11 in the

first quarter that's a pretty big hole that you have to dig yourself out of. So if you're a Bucks fan I guess the one thing you could say to yourself is it is one one and you have shot in the first three games 20% 29% and 19% from three. That's crazy. Okay for a team that shot 39% in the season so you have to hope that it gets a little bit better if you're a Nets fan shout out the couple out there. You have to be like well we'll be fine because we have the best players and also if you listen to our interview with Kirk Goldsbury coming up he he says unfortunately that Joe Harris

is the best catch and shoot guy in the NBA and the Nets are going to kill everyone. Chris Middleton sucks I think he says that. I think Chris Middleton might suck sometimes he had a good game. I think he I think Kirk was saying that that Chris Middleton is a bad number two like not even a number two. Yeah. But John is a 1A. But guess what when you get home the number two plays better you know what I mean he got

the crowd he gets a little more confident. You talk about shitting in your own house. Yes exactly. Yeah. That's that's Chris Middleton tonight. Credit to the box also PJ Tucker and Kevin Durant getting in a fight in the security guard. Maybe that security guard was Bruce Brown.

He's a Bruce Brown security guard. Yeah. He was like I see a scuffle. He treated that scuffle on the court like he would any scuffle in the in the stands. Yeah. He's like it's my job when I see two people that are that are swinging hands at each other to run out there and shove one of them over. Yeah.

So yeah he definitely saw a spotlight moment. He went out there and took it. I want to give a shout out to Bucks fans in the little area outside the stadium. That looked fun as hell. I'm seeing that type of stuff. No. You know how like Toronto has was Jurassic Park. Yep.

Do they have a name for it and the Tavern and the Toronto Tavern. The name for the outside park where they party in. I don't know. They should call it because I had an idea for they should call it the dojo but it's DOE like the female book. Oh I like that. I like that. The Bucks they have a really nice stadium.

I've been there. The Milwaukee's beautiful downtown like it actually is so shout out to Bucks for actually the Deer District. Not as good as the dojo. Got it. Yeah. No it looked fun though. It looked like a fun time.

And I do I want to give credit to whoever was the architect behind that arena. It was a nice arena. Okay. I like the arena. So shout out to that guy. And we got a lot of Hank Jons tonight. Some new ones too. Some remixes.

No I'm not. Some remixes. Some of the. I'm not yelling. Chop and screwed. No. Give us one in the. Drop a new yawn.

This isn't about me. I'm not yawning. My microphone is off. If I was yawning you guys wouldn't hear it. Jons for the boys. Yawning. Scots for the boys. The last time.

No. No. I'm not going to get trapped into this again. Okay. Please Hank. All right. So that happened. The Suns.

Oh our wagon. Also Blake Griffin played pretty well tonight. Played his ass off. On defense. Yeah. A couple nice blocks. You had a plus two. And KB minus six.

Kyrie minus four. Oh. God damn it. Hey give it to us. That was fucked up what you just did. Plus one. Maybe. Maybe.

Don't talk. Don't talk to me in our night yawn. I don't want to hear you click your microphone off when you're about to yawn. Okay. All right. All right. Thank you. But yeah.

Suns. Suns are a wagon. They are awesome. That kid who I mean it was perfect that it happened in front of Jokic and it happened right after we talked about how he is king for all fat boys and I'm not saying that kid was fat. Yeah. Him ripping off his shirt was in all time.

That'd be so sick. And his name is Blake. Which is incredible. So Blake. Big shout out to Blake up in the stands. It'd be awesome if he became NBA MVP at some point. Yes. And he got to point back to that moment.

Yes. But he that kid. I guarantee that kid's in the top 10 percent of basketball players his age. Yeah. And he also was just batting down. I like that. Yeah. Someone was like you got to get him on the podcast.

Like I don't think we've interviewed a 12 year old before Tinko so well. Yeah. Amazing Ramsey. He's like 21 now. That kid has learned one of life's most important lessons and that's things get a lot funner once you take your shirt off. Oh yeah. And he's learned it at a young age before he's even drinking.

Tits out for the boys. So like imagine that kid gets a couple beers in them once he once he becomes of age. That kid's going to be a monster party. That kid is going to take over the I don't want to say his name again because we're shouting him out a lot on the show recently. But he's going to be the beer guy. Yeah. I.

Okay. I love that kid in a way that you can love a person you're never going to meet and you see him online for a five second clip. That's just the internet culture. Yeah. You know that that piece that you sent us the other night. Yep. Where everyone's talking about a famous journalist on Twitter and be like I actually don't know

him anyway. But I love him. He's maybe the most important person in my life besides my parents. Yeah. So going back though the the shirt off guy always fun except I'm going to throw one flag. There is that one guy in everyone's crew that takes his shirt off because he's got a sick bod at times when it's not appropriate.

Yeah. And that guy sucks like it will be 62 degrees and it'll be like what I'm just trying to get comfortable. Yeah. Or like you go on a bachelor party and he never puts his shirt on all weekend. And then he's like yeah. Dude. The best ability is your ability.

Yeah. You know what. Try to make a joke. All right. Yeah. So I agree. I think that you have you have to have a little girth to you to be able to do that to make it a party move.

Yeah. Otherwise it's just it's a weird move. So there is that big caveat but that guy has learned an important lesson. Shout out that one time we were in Arizona for the Super Bowl all of us. Yeah. And I took off my shirt and the bouncer came over to me and said you have to put your shirt back on because you're grossing everyone out. And I was like OK cool.

That really hurt my feelings but fair point fair play. Did you see the the fellas were yugging last night after the sons game. Yes. So it's a movement. It's spreading. It's a real thing now. It's just it's the most positive thing in the world. You just chug your drink and then you send a video to all the other sons fans in the

world. See a Chuck Senator Chuck basically except it just with the fellas and even chicks are fellas. Oh nice. Yeah. You got to let everyone get involved. It's a very inclusive movement. It's just basically drink beer.

It's like when Ches Hanks said white boy summer and then two seconds later it was like for everyone. Yeah. All right. Hockey. Hank. Sorry. You're Bruins.

I know you live and die. Tough one. Tough one at the barn last night. You guys are banged up though. Yeah. Super banged up. Tuka in or out. I don't know.

I've he's he's such a volatile there's so many opinions on him in Boston. I I hope he stays. I think he was hurt and I think if he was full health they probably would have won that series but yeah tragic. I saw a tough day. I saw one. Firefest City. One meme going around that was the Bruins wheel of excuses for losing a playoff series

and one of the wheels on it said we were tired. Is that like an actual like the boys were just tired. Yeah. You know how it is in the playoffs. You leave it all on the line. I also think Bruce Cassidy did not probably the worst coaching move you can do is just give the other team like their nickname. Yeah.

Like he called them the New York Saints and then all the Islanders are like loving it and calling themselves the New York Saints. They had like at the tailgate there was a band playing when the Saints go marching in. So that was that was a huge mistake on his part because the thing was he was trying to get the refs to start calling penalties against him. Right. He's like they act like they're not a bunch of Saints out here. Yeah.

You can't do that. I did not do that. Oh I forgot one thing about Jokic. So did you see the shirt that he was wearing. No. So he was wearing a shirt that was like his MVP shirt that he made for himself. It was a list of all the negative things that have been said about him over the years like drafted 41st.

You're too big too unathletic etc. etc. One of the things on the list was too skinny somebody apparently along the lines. Maybe he just threw that one on there is like yeah they doubted me. They thought I wasn't too good. They thought I couldn't put on weight. This frame can't hold enough weight. They thought the big case of Rio wasn't fully loaded. Oh man.

All right. So what else we got. We got the college football. Oh we say. Oh the it's overtime right over time right now. Oh the end. Third period. Oh it's third period.

Yeah. It's four three though. Who you got. All right. So who's got the next goal. I got Flurry. Who you got winning. Who you got winning.

I got I got the Knights winning and they're all four three. Ryan Reeves. I got Colorado. I'm going to go Colorado. Do you guys see Aaron Rodgers tweeted W right after the Avalanche tied it up 2-2. He can't wait to get to Denver. Can't wait to get to Denver. He's sending all the signals out.

Also my fault. I forgot to start this week by saying this is the week that Aaron Rodgers gets traded. So just can someone Jake remind me please on Sunday night because that's obviously why he didn't get traded this week. Yeah. I said I was going to predict that he gets traded every week until he gets traded. I've got a I've got a prediction. I've been waiting.

I've been squatting on the stake for a while but I feel like now's a good time to unveil it about Aaron Rodgers. I think there's something telling me that he might just go off the grid entirely. Like Aaron Rodgers might just not show up on a football field every day. He might move to Ecuador and go live out in the rainforest with Shailene Woodley. He seems like the type of guy gets away from it for a little bit. Probably has had these conversations before was like babe what if I what if we just walked away from everything.

Yeah. Just left it all behind. We've got enough money. What's really important in life. You know he gets a little bit of perspective. I could see him just like living in an ayahuasca hut getting pictures and like he shows up in a market once every two years. Okay.

So the only thing I'd add on to that is I do I see it. The only thing that I don't see is I do think he would be disappearing. But every like two months Twitter Instagram something to try to go viral to remind everyone that he disappeared. Yeah. You know what I mean. Like he has to be like hey guys remember I'm Aaron Rodgers and I disappeared. It's like but you didn't really because you're telling us but he needs that like affirmation.

Yeah. He might so he might just like leave subtle clues or like even fake clues that he got there. He'll do like a random podcast like ours. Yeah. That's the guy that did the the antivirus software. Yes. And now he's like living on a boat fucking whales.

Yeah. Yeah. He goes on podcasts all the time but he's like on the lamb right from the federal government. He'll appear in a deadliest catch episode. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to go almost full JD Salinger just to show up every now and again to remind

us that he's no longer here. But I mean think about it. If there was one quarterback I'd love one Superstar Superstar athlete that might do something like this. I feel like it might be Aaron. I would love for that to happen. Me too. So let's just hope for it.

All right. College football 12 teams. I think most people are OK with this. I saw maybe some people who were upset but because you know the argument is going to be always well it's going to be blowouts which OK we have blowouts anyway. This would just be fun games and then blowouts instead of just strictly blowouts because the way they said it was it was 12 teams. The proposed rule is 12 teams.

One through four is the highest ranked conference champions so Notre Dame gets a little bit screwed there so they could never get a buy under this rule and then five through 12 they match up and then the top four seeds in that get a home playoff game which is awesome. I love that. That part like someone tweeted out what the playoffs would have been a couple of years ago and it would have been like Florida going to Madison to play in December which would be awesome. Hell yes.

Get some snow playoff games. I like that. I like the idea of a home playoff game too. Yes. That's amazing. Like there is a little bit of the passion that gets taken out of it when you see a game being played in I know Atlanta where neither team really has a home stake to it. But yeah I'm all in for that too.

I saw there's one person I talked to today that didn't like it. It was Big T who's basically a cop and his answer was well you're going to have you're going to have teams that are just going they sure you could have a 12 seed beat a one seed once out of every 100 times and then that team gets to advance. It's like well yeah that's kind of the magic of playing the games and and use they're not going to lose. Oh like the number one seed is probably never going to get beaten by a 12 seed. But under his logic why do they even play the game.

Why don't you just give the championship to Clemson or Alabama. If you're Tennessee fan you should be pumped about that's what I thought I was like you once every seven years you might get a team into the playoffs. There are really I'm trying to think of like who would not be pumped Notre Dame maybe but no Notre Dame even wins because Notre Dame essentially would have the ability to have a team good enough to be in the playoff almost every single year. I hope that they make Notre Dame just play Alabama first round every year. Yeah but it's like this is I get it.

I get the blowout factor. I understand that but again what is it right now. There's three teams that are better than everyone else every single year. They're Alabama Ohio State and Clemson. They always will be there. We'll have a first round that's competitive then they will play those teams. They will probably lose. We'll probably end up with the same winner every time.

But the regular season people will say oh the regular season doesn't matter as much. No I think the regular season matters more because you know it used to be if you have one game that you lose you're out. Now the games at the end of the season teams jockeying for those conference title games for for you know higher seeding it all matters. And then I don't know I just I know this probably going to end up with the same teams. But if you are a power five school if you are a school like a Tennessee or Wisconsin or like somewhere where you're like OK we're probably never going to crack the top four.

This is good for recruiting. This is a good sell to recruits to being like hey we can there's a path for us to get to the playoff. If you're a power five school or a non power five school you can actually if you're you're going to Cincinnati you used to be able to say oh yeah we're going to go play. No you're not. There's always a ceiling to what you can do. You can go undefeated.

You still won't crack the top four. Now you can make this argument that yes we will be in the playoff if we have a fantastic season come play for us. You can play at the highest level against some of these teams. Yeah the argument that no one's going to care about the iron bowl. If at the end of the season you're waiting to see if Auburn's going to be ranked number third or sixth overall. I'm pretty sure that the state of Alabama and the country is still going to care of

course about Alabama versus Auburn. And then the other argument is well you're just going to have people getting mad if they're on the bubble and they get left out of the 12 seat. It's the same argument we're going to end up having about that that we do right now. It's like well no if it's if you look at college basketball we have that discussion. It's a great it's a fun discussion to have all year. And then when it comes time to decide who's in and who's out you have maybe like two hours where you're like oh this team got screwed and then you move on.

Because there are enough teams where you're like okay you weren't going to win anyways. I'd like to actually hashtag thank you Big Cat because you're being selfless right. You're being everyone who's opposed to this idea should look at Big Cat and say Big Cat is putting his own personal feelings aside for the good of the game of college football because there is no team that stands a better chance of getting like an 11 or a 12 seat and losing to Georgia by 40 points every year pretty much in this playoff system higher than that sometimes Wisconsin. But you know what I'm saying.

The first thing I did was go back and look. I think we would have made the playoff like seven times in the last 20 years like oh that's pretty good. This is sick. Yeah so I I don't know I just I get a couple of the arguments the blowout thing I understand but that's never going to be fixed under the current system. There's always like the current system will continue to be the best three or four programs will continue to be the best three or four programs and dominate it.

Now at least you have the Pac 12 getting in. Like you have representation. You hopefully get it even out of like recruits all these things might get a great Mac team in there. Who knows every 20. Yeah the Mac thing. I wish they had just been like all right and we also will give the 12 seat every year to the Mac.

Yeah. It would have been cool. But you might you might get a bone. You're going to get some of the Western Michigan smaller conferences that end up getting in there occasionally. Western Michigan 2017 Wisconsin beat them I think in the Cotton Bowl. I think they finished the season. Yeah.

What are they finished the season. Was that the team that we saw play in Detroit. Yes. What are they finished the season. They finished the season 13 1. What were they ranked Jake. Can you find that for me. Coach's six AP 7.

So there you go. They would have made the tournament there. So yeah there we go. West you know some Mac representation. Imagine if Mac team won it all. Fuck that'd be the coolest thing ever. Be awesome. All right.

Anything else. Oh we are going to. So thank you to everyone who watched PFT puke on the live stream. Yeah thanks. Couple notes from that PFT your champ. I still feel pretty bad right now. I weighed myself before that was a shocking situation because I weighed myself on the carpet and then I took the scale out to the cement floor at an extra 11 pounds.

So it was 188 when I started on the live stream after I threw up I was still at 193. So I'm probably just going to. I'm just going to. Like day one of me. 200 getting fat. Yeah get to 200. So champ there. The YouTube went well.

Thank you to for everyone who watched subscribe. There will probably be future YouTube broadcast from the studio similar setting. No puking but hey Thursday night football. No promises. We throw on the we throw on the live stream we hang with the boys. So make sure you subscribe. Make sure you like and also and girls and thank you to everyone who donated. We have something very fun planned for all the AWL's where it's going to basically be

a shoot the moon bet of championships. We'll talk about it next Friday once we get it up in the sportsbook app because we're going to put something in there so that everyone can have fun and it's going to be awesome. And if we win it we will probably stop doing part of my day. It's going to be what like eight hundred thousand dollars per person I think we're going to make it more. I think we've got to make it. Well here's the thing.

So if we if we end up hitting on this parlay we got to let it ride on Brooks of the Masters next year. Yes. Yes. And it all is linked to Duke and it's basically insurance against Duke winning it all and me just being miserable. So all right what I said I was I did the right thing there. I want Hank will have to get a cat to me again.

Yeah. I did the right thing. I will get a cat. I wanted to say the other thing and I didn't say it. Good. Yeah. Credit to big cat. Yeah.

All right. Let's get to our interviews. All right. So we got two great interviews. Kirk Goldsbury we taped in the afternoon. So there were already some outdated takes but we have knowledge that as we did it. Fifty might throw up during this ad. So Kirk Goldsbury great interview though tells us about all the NBA going on and bonus little

grateful dead talk at the end. Kirk is a big dead head. What am I supposed to do this bottle Hank just threw me. Am I supposed to puke into that. You want to bring it. Hank just threw me a 20 ounce bottle like I'm going to put my lip put my lips inside. You drink it. You want to bring in the garbage.

No. Oh also by the way the USA Mexico game actually you know what we'll recap it on Monday. We're going to wait till Monday to. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sunday's game last Sunday's right. We'll wait a full.

Yeah. We didn't talk about it on Monday or on Wednesday. No no no let's hold off. Okay. Yeah. Let's hold off. Wait. A lot of people probably still have a DVR.

Yes. So if you haven't watched it it's the finals. Conkacath of the final Conkacath it's basically a trophy like the civil conflict that we made up two years ago. Then just to have an important soccer game against Mexico. Monday and maybe not Monday maybe another day but we will get to it. We just ran out of time. All right before we get to Kirk Goldsbury I don't know about you but I feel like I'm

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Go to buyraycon.com slash take that's it you'll get 15% off your entire Raycon order so feel free to grab a pair and a spare that's 15% off at buyraycon.com slash take do it for father's day buyraycon.com slash take and get yourself some unbelievable earbuds and unplug every now and then. Okay so buyraycon.com slash take 15% off do it right now here is Kirk Goldsbury. Okay we now welcome on recurring guest Kirk Goldsbury he is an analyst MBA analyst on ESPN he also is a New York Times bestselling author no big deal sprawl ball and a professor pretty much everything.

Can we say that you are the architect of the San Antonio Spurs? Yes absolutely no you can't no we're gonna say we're gonna say he's the architect so Kirk we want to have you on talk a little MBA playoffs we're gonna do something here that I love putting our guests out on a limb because we're taping this before game three of the Nets and Box series so you we don't know what's gonna happen so everything you're about to say could be wildly wrong but what the hell is going on with the this series is it the Nets are so good and we just didn't realize it or the Box are a fundamentally flawed team that will always have this type of ceiling.

I gotta go with the first thing I think the Nets are a legit super team these guys are missing James Harden arguably the greatest offensive player in the last few years and they are still crushing it with Kevin Durant who is snapped back into pre-injury form and looks like an old self when Joe Harris the best catch and shoot guy in the league is your fourth option man you're a super team when Kyrie Irving one of the most dynamic guards on planet earth guys is your third option when James is right you're a super team so what we're seeing right now I think has more to do with the Brooklyn Nets just asserting their dominance than anything to do with the Box.

And the reemergence of Blake Griffin I know that you think he's the hardest working player in the NBA would that be fair to say. Well he's a Blake of the year candidate for a reason and I think that has a lot to do with his heart man and it is a really actually inspiring story I'm not gonna get too sappy but watching him I think he's the hardest player highest playing player in this series PFT he's diving for loose balls he's taking pride on the defensive end of the court and he's really setting the tone by keeping Giannis at bay at least in this first few games with his physical and savvy defensive stuff so I didn't see this come I like a lot of people

you know Blake Griffin was not a big part of NBA discourse the way I saw it but here it is and I think it's one of the best stories in the league and the fact that it's happening on defense in this series PFT makes him a solid Blake of the year candidate in my opinion. So you mentioned loose balls diving for loose balls you know you have incredible charts and advanced stats and you make it put in a beautiful way but the one thing when it comes to like watching basketball and I love this part of the game is when I always judge like if a player is pissing off the opponent how a loose ball like jump ball scrum goes and in the first game of the series Bobby Port has basically tried to choke Blake Griffin out

which tells me he's doing like all the right things to out muscle out hustle everyone do you have any stats for that like how aggressive because it does usually like when someone gets very aggressive in a loose ball setting and like goes a little extra it's usually because the guy is just pissing him off and he's under his skin and able to like you know kind of use that extra hustle to bother him. Yeah I think there is something to that the stat I can give you is that when he was guarding Giannis Giannis was four of ten in game two and his average shot distance was 16 feet away from the rim Giannis is the guy who stirs that drink in Milwaukee if he's getting to the rim it's over you can't beat them and Blake is really just cutting it off

there he is not letting Giannis get to those dunks and layups and with that that is their spirit animal in Milwaukee Giannis getting to the rim is the most important thing and that is exactly what Blake has been able to take away is his penetration in those easy buckets that we've gotten used to seeing that from Giannis onto the combo. That's interesting because like if you look at the nets there you wouldn't say like oh they have an incredible rim protector like a Rudy Gobert but they're able to protect the rim in other ways you're saying. Yeah the biggest question big cat coming into this postseason for the Brooklyn Nets was their defense remember one of the sort of golden rules of NBA analytics is that if you don't rank in the top 10 or 11 in defense

of rating at the end of the regular season you're not a championship contender literally every champion for the last 20 years has checked that exact box. These guys rank 20 seconds in the NBA in defensive rating at the end of the regular season that just qualifies them according to that sort of piece of conventional wisdom. Now what they're doing in this series is showing that they're a better defensive team than that and that has a lot to do with Blake protecting the rim but that rim protection really starts away from the rim by cutting off Giannis's drives who is their one two and three best rim attacker for Milwaukee so they don't have a Rudy Gobert they don't have a Deandre Aten but Blake is kind of doing that by stock by stifling Giannis's rim

attack. Have we ever seen that before in super teams like Abe we talk about flipping the switch when it comes to playoffs I feel like we say that every single year about LeBron where he's like going to the playoffs you're like well he's going to end up becoming LeBron at some point and flip the switch. Can you flip a switch on defense? Yeah I think you can I think PFT that the last Warriors team did that I think they ranked 11 compared to you know their three championships PFT they ranked first in defensive rating the first one second in the league they were a defensive juggernaut but that third one they they dipped a little bit but when it came time to lock it up they did that and then there's the Lakers are a famous example that too when Shaq would play his

way into shapes or in the season and by the end he had played his way into shape and then nobody could score on them by the time it counted. You might be one of our favorite nerds that we have on you're like the coolest nerd you like you talk about nerdy stuff but you're like you're deceptively smooth in a way is there we always talk about like the unquantifiable stuff about sports like grit we love grit is there a way that you know using your data visualization your your fancy Greek numbers and whatever that is can you quantify grit? We're getting there but but no and that's sort of the beauty of grit and this stuff that's why we love to watch it you know I know PFT your big playoff hockey guy and that's a sport where that stuff really shows up and it's really hard to

quantify with a team or an individual player we just talked about it with Blake Griffin I think the league is getting closer to it we're tallying hustle stats in a way that we weren't doing like 10 years ago deflected passes loose balls so we're getting there but no and and then there's the opposite of grit is what would you say is that softness and we see some of that too in the playoffs don't we and we don't quantify softness you know and I think that is an interesting thing but that's why by the way isn't it great that the fans are back in these buildings rattling these guys yeah guy fear is out there yelling scaring people scaring the kids and and it's great in phoenix and utah but we can't quantify that stuff who's getting rattled yonis is two of ten at the line

that's mental dude so we don't have numbers that quantify that other than just the outcome do you have biggest can you quantify like biggest headcases of the league like guys who in late game situations their free throw percentage like takes a noticeable dip if you have enough like stats to put that together can you be like these guys are the choke artists unfortunately yonis is one of my favorite players but in the playoffs especially some of the most important playoff series of his career and again he's one of my favorite players the numbers are are pretty bad in the toronto series when they almost went to the finals and koai sort of ripped their hearts out in 2019 yonis was at his worst in those close games and again in this series versus the nets when they need him to be his best

at the free throw line he is two of ten so far for through the first two games so yeah we can look at that stuff and and you know it's a it's a human thing I mean I always tell players that I know is like I would be terrified up there shooting free throws in Madison Square Garden with all these eyeballs on there so it's it's just human nature that some of these guys have a hard time yeah others um all right so you mentioned koai let's let's let's do that series real quick put you out on a limb another one that has a second game tonight so uh the jazz are incredible defensively donovan Mitchell was incredible game one that's like their next level when he is is playing like that how do you see the rest of the series going though because koai you know he like the clippers

mav series he was incredible off the charts you could argue you know the best two-way player right now in the playoffs but how do you see the rest of this series and it does it hinge on playoff p not being playoff poo poo or whatever what are we calling playoff p u playoff l yeah we call it a playoff pu yeah pandemic p has been used i've never used it uh but i've heard it uttered by other other way off p yeah lay off p these are all yeah really high high level stuff here it does come down to paul george i think cat i think that he has to be good because this is not last year's jazz team um this is the first team in mba history that's average over 50 points per game on threes alone they're the best three-point shooting team arguably in mba history better than

the dubs better than those rockets teams uh and and last year in the bubble they they struggled but they didn't have bogdan boganovich they're who's a really good scorer uh and this year their offensives looks a lot better rudigo bearer is obviously the best defensive player in the league and he won that game with that block shot in game one uh so this is not last year's jazz team and fans need to to realize that the other sneaky thing that i think is really important in that series guys is the fact that la doesn't have a home court advantage much at all uh because of the way that the the coronavirus protocols are different in california versus utah uh so these utah games have we seen they're nuts and then you go to staples and it's almost like a neutral

site uh so i think utah obviously they they have a they they won the first game and i think they deserve they've been the best team all year they deserve some respect there but guys the last thing i'll say is don't bet against kawaii lenard and the playoffs this dude came down from 2o in that first round series with one of the all-time one of the all-time performances the stat will give you is he was the first guy since shack to score 200 points and shoot 60 percent from the field in a single playoff series since shack was in the lakers in 2000 so he's really doing stuff that nobody else is doing uh and is between him and durant who's the best player right now in the playoff so if the clippers make it to the finals let's just say hypothetically the clippers win dnba

championship this year and kawaii lenard becomes uh finals mvp would he be the only player in the history of basketball to win finals mvp on three different teams i think he would i don't have that exact stat in front of me but i can't think anybody who did that um you know lebron's done it for three teams lebron james did he lebron james yeah that would make sure to him that would make sense yeah maybe no but last year's goes as astrix i also gave the calves year was kairi i gave that mvp to kairi he definitely had the most valuable shot but yeah in all seriousness lebron and i think so if either lebron or kady wins finals mvp here's a good stat kady kawaii and lebron will have won nine of the last 10 finals mvps and they'll all have done it for multiple teams i think so

and the the best part about that stat is andre aguadala would be the 10th that's the best part that's that for locking down yes lebron james kind of it's lebron's lebron's mvp anyway but uh yeah i think but that tells you i think a bigger thing that's happening in the mba right now which is it's now about the name on the back of the jersey remember when your coach said it's about the name on the front of the jersey not in the mba it's not uh these guys are switching teams and they're kicking butt no matter what jersey they're putting on that year so lebron uh kawaii kady are obviously doing it wherever they play well what about team usa you're also the architect of team usa basketball you've worked for that organ organization for a long time are you doing any work for them

and if so like can you can you tell us what the final lineup is going to be i can i rotate it off like like a lot of the players i i looked at it as as a one chance to do it i did it in 2016 pft we won the gold uh i'm not gonna say congrats that must be hard hey hey a lot of people don't realize what went into that uh big cat how the stats really helped us beat those international teams but we did it who's your starting five again that year oh well it rotated it's good coach k is a genius we went through a bunch of numbers sometimes we put diran clay out there you know it depends on who we're playing you know pft but we won and i don't know who's going to play this year obviously the olympics are kind of a mess let's be honest japan is is struggling

with the coronavirus some guys will go and play and i sure hope team usa wins the gold but a lots up in the air uh and the other thing i'll say about that is you know anthony davis's injury this year is related to that short off-season and we've seen a flurry of these short off-season related injuries uh throughout the league my my colleague baxter holmes at espn did a great piece on that but as we approach again one of the shortest off seasons in league history how many of these guys you're going to want to you know go to japan for three or four weeks in the middle of that instead of just resting and recovering so it's going to be interesting to see who plays and we're up against that is seen yesterday sure um i like how they brought you in as a uh as a data guy for kairi

Irving jimmy butler kevin diran uh let's see who else clay thompson draymond green paul george carmelo anthony black fly forever yeah that's a gold medal hey i was part of that team i was one of the greatest experiences of my life and one of this is one of one of my stories for hank is like like a lot of people i grew up hating duke duke basketball you know and uh i got a chance to go and within like seven minutes of being in a room with coach k i was like the biggest duke fan no no i will cut that part we'll cut that part um all right we're going to get some more kirk goldsbury in a second but we're brought to you by our friends at cores lights you know it's summertime and we're slowing down summer this year summer always feels like the shortest season but we need

to make the most of it we also need to just chill as the beer that's made to chill we want to save her every second of summer rediscover and enjoy what makes summer awesome so we need to slow down just open a cores light it's mountain cold refreshment made to chill we're retweeting the blue mountains all weekends long we love cores light every time i see those blue mountains i feel like i'm chilling and i feel like it's summer and it's beautiful out it's as crisp crisp and refreshing as the colorado rocky is perfect for a moment to unwind this summer when you crack open that cores light you feel like it's summer you feel like you're ready to chill and that's what it's all about so cores light is the official beer slowing down summer and we want to see your

blue mountains all summer long tweet him at us and we will retweet those like those because as the beer that's made to chill we want to save her every second of summer capture those moments with a refreshing cold crisp cores light get cores light summer packaging straight to your door with drizzly or instacart celebrate responsibly cores brewing company golden colorado crack open that cores light summertime chill you know unwind just enjoy yourself all right more kerks kerk goldsbury coming up all right let's talk about our sons we are famously a die hard sons podcast famously can they can they go all the way that's my son's question it sure looks like a big cat i think you know this series could end quickly they are just dominating the nuggets who are to be fair

beat up michael porter jr looks like his back's hurting uh and then obviously jamal murray's not there so that's a big hit for denver but you know don't take anything away from the son's team chris paul is playing about as well as i've ever seen chris paul play and that's saying something he's putting out like 10 15 assists and no turnovers he's like a robot out there like a playmaking robot and then the other thing i love about this team right now is not only the chris paul but now they have devin booker who's that guy who you need when there's one minute left to go get a jumper he's going to get that shot for you uh and then deandre eighton is doing a wonderful job on the mvp so it looks like the sons are set up to have eliminated the defending champs in round

one despite chris paul being banged up now and i know anthony davis was hurt but don't take anything away from the sons and then in round two they look like they're going to eliminate the mvp and yoke it so if that doesn't tell you they're ready for a deep run i don't know what does and monnie williams deserved the coach of the year my old friend from the spurs but this team has everything so yeah they could go all the way real quick on yoke it so we got to give him a little credit uh how improbable is it because not only was the 41st pick but i saw that you were treating about how he's the first center in like 20 years uh like i put this mvp season into perspective overall both in probability and like where it ranks you know in terms of how great he was this

season yeah well that's a big theme in my book and i've been tweeting this graphic for a couple years like mvps by position because before the three-point line big cat was added in 1979 80 18 of the 20 previous mvps in the mba were centers you know the will chamberlands the kareems the bill russells this was a center's league man uh and then only one of the last 20 has been that's yoke it's it only like two of the last 22 because we have to go back to shack again we talked about shack a lot in this podcast uh shack won it in 2000 uh and so since then it's been power forward small forwards point guards shooting guards but the significance of yoke is he's made big men great again and the guy who who's the runner up joel m bead looks like he could

be mvp if he could play a full season because one of the reasons that it was a runaway for yoke this year was just that mb missed a lot of time like a lot of guys this year uh but yes centers are are relevant again thanks to i would say three guys really yoke it joel and bead who are both leading the top teams in their conferences i should say rudy gobert the top team in the west so that's the third guy gobert and bead and yoke it's three great centers uh at the beginning of their prime so centers are back uh long story short and this yoke it's mvp thing uh what is it hot seat cool throne i whatever yeah you guys should use centers centers are back yeah i'd like to see a return to like just a bank like the hard elbows playoff fouls nobody flies

in the paint that that old mba for a little bit it'd be a nice change of pace are you one of the guys that also missed on joel kitch you know there's everybody missed on them there's been like a just a running laundry list of people for the last like four days just putting their hand up me like i missed on this guy everyone missed on him what was it about his game that was so confusing to scouts back when he was a teenager well it's a little bit like the nfl draft like we get seduced by the measurables right and this is something that yoke it does not have a lot of he's a big plotting slow guy um he doesn't have switch ability he doesn't have lateral quickness and i don't think many scouts really saw his ability to shoot at that time becoming so good

i mean he essentially can shoot like dark i know that sounds like sacrilegious to some people but his numbers back it up and then there's the passing uh and once this denver nuggas team started to play through yoke itch on the elbows he's one of the best playmakers period not at the center position period in the nba uh we missed on him because he's not a great athlete uh and at that time we were skewed we saw skewing away from large players who couldn't switch defensively and uh man it's he's one of the most skilled players in the league period uh and he's he's kind of goofy to watch and quirky but isn't that what we love about basketball is like there's so many different ways to be great and that's what i love about yoke itches he's just different

yeah we've never seen anything like it you brought the sixers a second ago um i i had to take that i felt like this was going to be a series where it it might go seven but none of the games are going to be super super close that might be wrong um i've been wrong before but then i saw that you were talking about that uh basically the the sixers could flip this entire series if they just elected to use their best defensive players against treyong instead of trying to do some weird rotation why why do you think they even thought it was a good idea to not put ben Simmons on treyong it probably because they wanted to save his energy because treyong's a giant pain in the butt and uh you know we did this when we were the spurs and we had kawai but we wouldn't throw kawai on

somebody until we had to and that's what exactly what nick nursed it in those 2019 finals when he was like game three is like i guess we could shut down yanis with kawai and then the series changed uh and again with donchich we saw tylu finally play the kawai card uh to shut down luka so danie green has an interesting career i used to work with him at spurs and he was our primary defender on guys like harden uh and kd in big playoff series until we really needed kawai and that's essentially what doc did in this series right and he tried to get away with using danie who's a little older now uh fantastic defensive player but he's a little older now ben Simmons is an absolute stud and so is matisse dybel uh who i think a lot of philly fans would rather see on

treyong at this point and the numbers back it up and guess what i think doc's already made that switch uh so i think philly is an incredible defense uh and if they win this series against the hawks it's going to have a lot to do with these two guys ben Simmons and matisse dybel shutting down uh the ascendant treyong all right so who's gonna is it just net's gonna win it all like are you do you see any other team any other way this is gonna go even let's even say james harden isn't going to be back like is are they just that much better than everyone else from an offensive standpoint it kind of seems that way and i didn't see this defense coming and i thought the bucks were going to give them more of a fight uh and they still could but it sure seems that way

nobody is stopping this team on offense and if they can just play passable defense which they've exceeded that passable margin in the first two rounds in my opinion they look like they're going to certainly come out of the east i mean and bead is now banged up the bucks look like they can't hit a shot uh and and and you can't beat brooklyn net's if you can't hit jump shots folks and you're not gonna you're not gonna lose if you have kevin right and james harden comes back like jeez this is without harden um but that said big cat i think whoever comes out of the west is going to be ready for a fight they've going to be battle tested they're going to have beaten necessarily two or three great opponents on the way uh and i would not look past whoever emerges

from the western conference whether it's phoenix utah or the clippers or whatever it's it's funny because it's like in playoff basketball it always at least a lot of times it comes down to like can your second and third option step up and elevate their game and you see it with the box where it's like chris middleton's nice but he's not he's chris middleton like he someday days he'll shoot six for 20 some days he'll be look good and then the nets it's like oh their second option is kairi erving and their third option even when james harden out is blake griffin who's a phenomenal basketball player oh and joe harris like you said best catch and shoot it's not fair yeah and then you got guys like mike james and uh you know landry shamet out there who are over performing too

everybody is playing well i think i looked at the non big three nets in the first two games the buck series they're averaging 66 points a game and they're essentially 50 40 90 guys mean they're making 50 percent of their shots overall 40 percent of their threes and nearly 90 percent of their free throws in other words they're playing like a superstar collectively uh and we weren't expecting that i think coming into the playoffs one of the big sort of question marks around the nets was defense as we already talked about but whether their death would show up and both of these question marks have sort of been answered at least in the first few rounds here uh and and it looks like steve mash deserves a lot of credit for putting this team together they they've been playing

different lineups all year but somehow they've coalesced at the exact right time and are playing to to my view the best basketball in the league right now so if you've got a superstar team and it's pretty much it sounds like a given that they're going to probably win the nba finals you have to come up with other hypothetical debates to keep yourself um i guess second guessing really how great they are so the two that we thought about the other day are one um could these nets beat those warriors could these could this kd team beat his old kd team and then after that you get to determine where they rank on on the pantheon of greatest nba teams of all time so what do you think are these nets better than those warriors uh i don't think so i'm not

going to give them that yet pft there's one big reason and a few small reasons why i think those warriors teams as we talked about earlier were defensive juggernauts and offensive juggernauts as i mentioned earlier they ranked in the top one and two their first two championships you know you think about draymond green andrega dolla shon livingston these guys were paying the butt on defense and of course the splash brothers and then those durant years uh were pretty good talk about a third option there were years there was time when clay tomson was the third option and that's just ridiculous so they were pretty good offensive team and i'll take pre injury kd over post injury kd even though it looks like he's playing pretty well um and i'll take stuff over a harden by a

by a narrow margin right now that said you know maybe in a year or two we're looking back and saying this is the best team of all time i will give them the like we're saying they don't have james harden out there and they're blowing out their second round opponent uh and scoring like nobody's business so gosh they have a lot of firepower but i just respect that warriors dynasty so much for what they did on that less than glamorous end of the court so so who guards kd in that situation just clay guard kd does kd guard kd oh kd would shut down kd he knows all the moves you know you would have a hand in the face he would know where he was going before he went there he would be the greatest defender of kevin durant of all time yes yes and then the other hypothetical

was do you think that these nets could win um an nba title if everybody in their starting five had to score the exact same amount of points every game the suns almost did it last night unintentionally yeah like a egalitarian model yeah like marxist like sean marxist style but the other team doesn't know the other team doesn't know so they can't be like oh kairi's got 20 and kd's got eight they're gonna try to get kd to 20 so would all five at the start of the start of all five all five at the start of the same the bench can do whatever but the five guys gonna be joe harris because if if i pick up on this and i'm the other team and they don't know that i still need joe harris to get to 20 yeah he can he can definitely do that if they start getting them

good looks yeah because they can they could set him up they can run plays without you know like they can be like all right we're all at 20 we got to get two for blake and 10 for joe harris they're all running plays for joe harris in the third quarter i really think they could do it i think they could probably do that i think that's a good day or i think blake griffin and joe harris as off ball threats as if the other team didn't know what was up yeah they could all get exactly 25 points and end up with 125 at the end i think i hope they do it just like if they're up three nothing in one of these years just try it and that's don't be cowards yeah just fuck with people all right i got two last things one is uh father's day is coming up and we're gonna plug this you

didn't even ask us to do this but it is so goddamn cool it is the naysmith international park map kirk made this map it's got like basketball history on it it's very cool it's on the golden hexagon dot com you can find also a link in his twitter bio uh it's 50 bucks if your father loves basketball that is the perfect father's day present or if he loves maps but it's also like you know we always be like that doesn't have to be your dad yeah first of all thank you you guys are very generous for doing that but i am proud of this project it combines my love affair with cartography of map making with the mba and college basketball and women's basketball it is basketball history on maps so i appreciate you guys doing that for any dad in your life yeah the golden hexagon dot com i

appreciate you saying yeah it actually is awesome because i love maps i want to see you know every march we do in trains yeah in trains we we do this uh thing every year where we talk about brackets nonstop for a month i would like more things to be more data and more history to be represented in map form because i will sit there and i will stare at a map regardless of what's on it for probably 30 minutes if you just put in front of me they're the most powerful documents in human history pft and i think you're just attracted to that i think you're attracted to that i'm a man attractive power yeah but this is actually like this is one of those things where you get you're thinking what do i get my dad for for father's day don't get him like you know a book or a tie or

something like that or like a steak get him this because then he'll be like wow you really put some thought into this like you really thought about this present but really you just listen to part of my takes that was a free that that's the way to impress your dad on father's day there it is all right i had one last question and this is now we're going to get niche audience here so people just deal with it for a couple minutes i didn't realize you're a deadhead so huge i am as well i had a couple questions for you i think i actually realized it when you responded to one of my tweets um favorite year and favorite i favorite althea because i think that's your favorite song right well you know i bought that hat after seeing you wear it that's what you

replied to yes that's what you replied to i love the althea told me hat my favorite althea is i think nasa in 1980 or 81 it's on the soundtrack for the documentary that came out on amazon but it is just jerry's best solo work uh he's just on another plane and i love that one my favorite year though i'm a little jazzy or a spacier guy like the 74 era grateful dead just one drummer and again jerry is is the reason i listened to the grateful dead along with robert hunter's lyrics but yeah that's my favorite year but i'll listen to anything dude what about you i don't think our listeners know much about your affinity for the great for that same question yeah i mean i never i obviously never saw them because i'm too young but i did my first concert ever was

phil leshin friends at alpine valley when i was like 15 or 16 years old so had a had some cousins that loved them got me into it um i'm a Brent guy through and through so it's probably early 80s or late 80s for like my favorite i'm also like a huge uh jerry garcia band guy as well i don't let go is like if someone asked me to get into it i always start them with that not with the grateful i'm like listen to sugary on don't let go and tell me it's not like the sweetest guitar you've ever i love Brent that rolex playing the keys and then downhill from here also alpine valley 1989 yeah one of the great uh grateful dead movies but man we got to hang out and go to a deaded company show or something yes yes how many different concerts do you guys have in your head

at any given time like if you were to just name a city and a year between 1975 and 1990 like if i said red rocks 91 is my favorite show is that a show no i don't think they played red rocks 91 they were they were playing bigger arenas at that time yeah red rocks only how is like it's like seven and bob weir just played red rocks this week man yeah that that was more like uh soldier field mass saw yes uh heartford city center they were playing they were playing like football stadiums on summer tour back then or basketball arenas and fall tour so red rocks is a little small but to answer your question way too many dude and it's also it's great because obviously now um with all like you can find any show so i'll just find a show or find a year and just like i've also fallen

back in love like i had a little phase where i fell out and now i'm back in love and it's just like it always kind of comes back i don't know it's one of it's like my safety blanket right you know like during the pandemic i got so into it there's this app called relisten where you can go listen to any show from any error on your phone uh and i would just pick the this random function and i would just like take me away fuck yeah that was the best and and if if anyone's trying to get into it the amazon has an incredible documentary about it uh 100 was so good that with that part about al franken talking about his favorite althea which was that's the one i love yes and that movie turned me on to it i listened to hundreds of versions of that so i mean that's the best one

but yeah that documentary i i do agree if you if you're curious about the grateful that that is a great starting point okay so to bring a full circle do you think it's a little weird that uh grateful dead logo has become like cool and pop culture with people who i don't think listen to the band i've actually seen a bunch of mba players like i think i saw devin booker maybe lebron was wearing a dancing lebron wore like a jerry bears yeah and i was like no way does lebron listen to the dead oh it's like a grateful dead shoe that just came out recently yeah it's like yeah but i was like i don't think that if you asked lebron what his favorite althea is he would be able to answer it but maybe i'm wrong he was more of a key he was more of a keith gacho guy than a brent

midland guy yeah he liked donald wailing yeah exactly oh man but yeah it's weird it's it's weird to see that crossover i mean i don't hate it but it's just funny to see grow the game got stew gots also a big deadhead it's forced maybe i didn't realize that because i saw him at the super bowl in miami i should have damn i should have brought that up all right we'll have to go to a show yes yes i know you come come come to new york we'll go to uh we'll go to city field say no more okay let's see if he has to go yeah i've actually i've seen daddy the free bird solo over althea dude i should actually do the althea solo for my birthday i'll do that thank you i'll learn it um i i saw that uh what was it like a fish concert they went up there and they did

the free bird solo but it was just all four of them doing it with their mouths just like acapella yeah they do that going like bam bam bam it was actually pretty cool because they did every note john fishman the drummer for fish sometimes plays a vacuum as well it's amazing so yeah uh i did see dead in company though when i was i want to say 21 years old at uh nissan pavilion in virginia all i remember from that show is well first of all there was a guy holding a joint smoking a joint out of chopsticks when i was walking in he was like 70 years old and he was like you want to you want to buy some brownies and i was like yes i do and then i remember about an hour and a half later there was a 30 minute drum solo that had wolf sound effects going on in the background i was like

where where am i right now i'm not as big of a space guy i usually take a piss during the drum so i have to admit it's the gentleman's bathroom right yeah exactly exactly and i do like i like good old fashioned american rock and roll was set one in bob weir i do like that as well the best thing about space is when they come out of it i swear to god there's been times where i'm like i was just old enough to see jerry at the very end it wasn't as fine as time but i i saw it but i was always amazed like space just puts you to sleep and then they come out of it and you're like on another planet yeah it's the best yeah yeah all right well yeah we'll have to we'll have to uh see a show together that'd be awesome thank you kirk we appreciate it thanks it's been awesome man

great to see you buddy thank you guys recurring guests see absolutely do you have a shirt i do i have a recurring guest shirt you do so you're one of like three people that has it's like you rachel niggles who else you might just be you too uh spencer moss spencer and randy moss yeah yeah bleak so five people you're one of five that has one we tell everybody we'll get the group together at a dead show but i also want to say you guys also gave me that tie-dye sweatshirt that uh big cat had last time i was there in 2019 and then i had the alfie hat and there was this one day i had both of them on i was like wait i look like big cat right did you dress from my pile yeah but anyway i love you guys so congrats on everything love you too kirk take care buddy

kirk goldsbury is brought to you by our great friends over at simply safe shout out simply safe they've been a great sponsor of ours for years and years uh you might remember the feeling that you got as a kid getting tucked into bed the feeling you get now in the arms of somebody that you love safe and secure it's a feeling of security that only comes through a human connection that's why the people at simply safe home security are so important simply safe has an award winning system it's got all the technology it's got bells and whistles that you you would expect these days but the people at simply safe really take it to the next level they're there around the clock anytime you need them and the thing is simply safe just makes it so easy it takes about two

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different okay we now welcome on the number one is he number one no Blake portals was he's the number two recurring guest of all time he is our lawyer it is mr portnoy portals yes yeah nice company uh i never thought we'd be mentioned in the same sentence well there it is i want to ask you about your health and uh how you're doing but first i want to just clarify something when we texted uh to set this up you responded i sent you the zoom and you said zoom expert i was kidding oh a little sarcasm a little sarcasm on my part which apparently didn't pick up i did not i thought maybe you had become a zoom expert in the pandemic like you told me a long time ago and i didn't know what you were saying you were talking about parity and i thought you

were talking about parity meaning equal and you were talking about parity being comedy right but i thought we were talking about things being parity that this is parity now you know not but not this is comedy now right you got it okay so we're on the same page how is your how are you doing i know that you uh you got in a fight you should see the other guy right you're doing okay uh okay uh uh this was uh not pleasant trust me uh i hit my face face first on a sidewalk cement uh and people say how did that happen uh i have an idea to some extent uh to some extent i remember i was walking along the sidewalk the sidewalk was the cement on the sidewalk was raised i remember that and i walked beyond it i know i did and i have progressive sunglasses on and it was uh

dusk i want to say so i think what happened and i know i walked over the first cement a piece of cement and i think what probably happened was that my sneaker the heel of my stink i might have caught in a pot that i didn't see i went down like a shot uh the next thing i know there was a there's a place called um an assisted living place was what in front of it was right where i fell oh no i'm bleeding everywhere oh no i ran into the assisted living of course the first thing they said you're not allowed in here well they're like well maybe you should be here or they're like what room are you sure i'll get your attention i wasn't again i wasn't in the mood for any parody at that point right uh but so when they saw me bleeding they're okay come on in so

without boring with the glory details 20 minutes later and then the ambulance going to the hospital oh and uh i'm in the hospital and they do a lot of tests because i fell so i was there for the better part of a day and uh i had a big big bruise under my under my eye but fortunately that's all it was was a bruise because no blood leaked into my eye which might have been a fairly serious situation yeah so that's all right but my my eye looked like i hit got hit with a baseball bat it's much much better now but i had uh stitches on both my hands my right hand and i have a uh on my finger next to my pinky finger on my left hand i got a small splint in there because there's a slight fracture in the tip of that finger uh i want to tell you

because i i've always been someone even when my daughter was in college i always remember this i used to give them a laugh because when i walk even i'm talking about a long time ago i i'm not someone who raises my my feet maybe the way i should i shuffle along so i was walking i always remember this this used to be entertainment for my kids i would walk in the dorm with sneakers on and after three seconds of walking i would start to trip because i wasn't raising my my my my legs and of course this all of these things uh you know have been a long time the only thing that came up i have all this which maybe i don't know maybe it saved my life i don't know they did a uh cat skin on my cappy you know what a cappy is why your partner there what a cappy is he probably

doesn't know what's a cappy i don't i don't know tell him it's your head right your head okay the heat that the yiddish word for head is cappy got it all right so somebody says you got a good looking cappy that's a compliment okay i've got a big i've been wondering what people mean when they say that to me yeah what's that i've been wondering what people mean when they say that to me so thank you for clearing it up have you heard it before oh yeah all the time really yeah you're painting the cappy he's doing parody he's doing parody on you yeah anyway everything on the and i had a whole battery of tests because i felt the only thing that came out was the fellow that was i guess he was the nurse practitioner the only thing he said to me you there's only one thing here you the uh

the thing shows you have fluid in your brain whoa after that i didn't hear a word he said i mean i just what the hell are we talking about here fluid in my brain so then i talked to my internist i guess a couple days later and he says to me this is on a visual call he says to me you have a high amount of fluid in your brain again i didn't hear a word he said after that a wet all right here he goes am i gonna die right and then make a long story short i'm already it is the long story i end up with talking to a neurologist at the mass general and he didn't make it sound like it was such a it is not a good thing necessarily but it's not something that people don't have it doesn't mean you're on the way to the cemetery but you know so

i'm gonna have some more tests now okay and i don't i don't mind and he checked my walking you know i walk fine i'm not i i walk two miles every day i i you know so that part of it i know it's not a problem one thing i do have a problem i'm hesitating telling you this very much because you're gonna again make parody out of no no so i'm working for you here i have you can ask smithy about this cousin smithy from my ex-show he knows all about this i one of the tests they give you the neurologist maybe you've taken this test you guys are too young they say to you when you first hook up with their neurologist i'm gonna ask you to remember i think it's three or four words and then we're gonna talk a little bit and as we talk a few minutes later i'm gonna ask you to repeat those words

okay i've done it during a physical the first couple of times i maybe the first time i did that test i flunked it big time the second time i think i had to do it i found out a way to gain the system and i passed the test this time i am so there's another word flunk i don't know submit submit i mean i am nervous about what the hell is going on and i flunked it again this time i mean i didn't you know i i just didn't i wasn't with it you know what i mean i got this is bothering the other thing they asked you to do which i flunked miserably and this has all to do with your memory abilities all right you guys are probably a one you're young i was probably not a one when i was young you got to draw a clock yeah and you got to draw 12 and six and the numbers

and then the neurologist will say to you point to four 15 flunk that terribly number one because i'm a terrible artist i can't even draw the clock little point out with the numbers you got some issues i'm not that i i got some memory related issues i when i when we were on the show with smithy and he was the right he was getting a laugh i wasn't doing this for his entertainment but i got to a point where i had a list of words that i would not remember when we were when i was on with him i had to write them down so that i would get them i would get them and now for some of these words i i have little tricks that i used to remember the words the thing that happens is that i the thing that happens is this is scary i'll remember the word and then a few minutes later

i can't remember the word so it's not good i'm not dying but i'm not gonna have also also i'm as next week i hope not but i mean you guys are laughing because it's not funny no i was worried about you when i when i heard that you felt i was i was genuinely worried about you um can we give you three words right now no let's try it let's try it we'll make it easy no we'll make it easy first one uber okay second one uh patriots third one uh chatterhead all right uber patriots try to add yeah you understand that that's not what the test is well no this is our test we're gonna ask you later yeah we're gonna ask you later no i know i'm not doing that why i'm not looking i'm not doing that i'm telling you i am not doing that okay and i'm telling you why i'm

not doing that you're doing it so you can get some entertainment no yes you are no laughter is the best medicine mr portland we're trying to make you feel better it won't make me feel better because i'm gonna fuck the freaking test again i'm not doing it again that is not going to make me feel better what were the three words uh uber see i already forgot uber patriots child yeah there we go you gave me kind of a broad hint there no i did whispering shadow are you hearing voices no no i didn't say anything you got that no you gave me a little hint from from a physical standpoint like not just mentally but like physically how are you feeling though are you sore here's it no not really this is this is the biggest problem that came out of this

which i kind of knew would exist i'll tell you it's a crazy thing i actually i have a uh a bustle sweatshirt i think it's a champion sweatshirt maybe it is maybe i don't know when you put it on on the label it says authentic harness okay one of the words i was trying to remember was the word authentic because i had been on a horse years a few years ago that ran in the katucky derby that was called authentic i couldn't for the life of me remember the name of that freaking horse but now that i have that little thing in my cuckoo brain i get it more often than not but i could forget that word five minutes from now and i would get it back but i would forget it all right so you're gonna ask me child uh uba and what was the other one uh oh fuck i forget it

yeah see you're fine wait but here's i'm gonna do a spin zone for you it sounds like you never learned how to properly walk so the fact that you made it this long before falling is actually a credit to your athleticism i want to tell you of all these problems are one of the least concerned about is the walking i'll tell you years ago i'm talking about a number of years ago when david was stopped starting to date renae that's how i can remember around the time frame he was with me and my wife walking on beacon street in uh brook line and yeah i've occasionally tripped and i did trip and fall and it was like in slow motion if you've ever done this sometimes it's a very slow thing and that was in slow motion and a guy who i think and and my family it was dead quiet they

didn't know whether to laugh or cry when this happened it was all in slow motion they're not saying a word a japanese i think it was japanese guy walks by me he was the only one that helped me get up they just stared at me they didn't know what to do and what do you think david portnoy did immediately immediately picked up his cell phone and called renae you you missed this and that's my son you know and she was so so upset that she didn't see it not how it was i can't believe i missed it he fell yeah so child of patriots and what the hell was the uber uber uber yeah there you go two out of three isn't that no i think you've gotten two out of three every time but they've been different ones each time yeah so you do remember all three of them well you

know what it is i'm in a stage now where i'm so uptight about this uh it's like i knew when i was talking to the doctor the other day and i flunked this i knew i was gonna flunk up before i even started right you're talking yourself out about it uh you're psyching yourself out yeah well i'm nervous about it right you know we're nervous it sounds we did you probably can't even relate to this no i get it no i think i think the ski like obviously it's a little different you know getting older versus maybe an injury but i i've always said you know i've i've broken bones playing sports all that stuff the worst part is not like the physical pain it's the mental pain of like shit now i have to like deal with this and this you psych yourself out it's it's it sucks i i know

what you're saying and this and this is really you gotta understand this is a little worse than if you broke your hand right what you did what you can't do right yeah well i yeah i fractured the tip of my the finger and one finger but believe me believe me that is not what is weighing on me right now other than chad uber and and patrick yeah you got this you got this you know what it is i'm i'm very relaxed right now yeah and you're talking to you guys i'm relaxed but i'm also in the pressure because i know i'm gonna have to do this one more time before we leave and i probably won't yeah but you're a child of patriots you're growing right now you look you look happy and healthy because i just got it right yes yes all right so what that seems like

probably the biggest thing going on in your life right now but are there any other smaller complaints or issues that we can help solve or talk through you know what i'll tell you this is a function have you ever bought uh went in to buy an automobile yes all right i've bought many through my ears and through the in fact i just bought one about two hours ago whoa what'd you buy i bought a a Silverado wow incredible there's a shortage of new cars going on right now yeah but unfortunately i'm turning in a car that i love which was a uh bmw 2002 bmw convertible but as i said to the guy in the car was pristine but i said to the guy that's been fixing it i went in there and said our partnership is over i can't do this anymore because it seems like every other day

i walk in there and i just give him a blank check and i just can't take it anymore the car's a 2002 it's only got a hundred thousand miles on it but i just can't do it anymore so i it owes me nothing the car is in pristine condition they'll put it in the auction and they'll sell it immediately because it's beautiful but what are you going to do anyway the reason i brought that up i've been buying cars all my life all my life the car dealerships have never changed they advertised what they do but it's all bullshit i went in to look at a Honda the other day so so this guy comes out who naturally i had my regalia on i didn't mention a patron such out of a uber but i i had i had something that said boss oh big fan blah blah blah and the first thing he says to me

i've only been working here three days would you buy a car from someone that had been working there three days absolutely yeah because that guy's not going to be as good at negotiating as the guy you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong he is not capable of negotiating with you he is only capable of doing what the office what the manager tells you yeah yeah i asked him do you have a business card he was gone for 35 minutes trying to get a business card talking to the to the manager uh that this you know the sales manager and came back and had to write his information on the back of the card because they had no printed card from and you know everybody in that showroom was there were males mostly i would say 98% 22 years old maybe they have no idea what they're doing

men all right so as i leave this kid i tell him you know if i'm interested i'll get back to et cetera jesse when i get in the cab to drive away the first thing going through my mind was not uber patrice the child i'm doing pretty good yeah you are it's you know something i'm feeling very good about this because this is the best i've done in a while good but don't call me back next week to no anyway anyway so i'm thinking to myself how fast is the is the service manager a sales manager gonna call me on on my cell phone 13 seconds he called me this is this is the you know something the one thing in this world i know i could do and if you ever saw larry larry david did a hilarious episode on this when he wanted to become a cast salesman and i that episode was one of the

funniest because so many things he didn't have episode that was me that's what i always thought i really believe if i went into one of these dealerships not so much that i could sell cars but i could show them what the fuck is wrong with what you're doing but but but you know the other side of the coin is today the customers are not people my age certainly not at a mazda dealer you go into mercedes dealer or a bmw dealer it's a whole different vibe most of the time but it's a real i don't know what the right word what correct word is it's not mazda chowder or patriots i'm very impressed with myself but what what what it is you can just see it's a dem you can see the difference in the demographic and way that way this particular business community views their

customers you can really see it right because it's because the treat it's fascinating i've always found it fascinating and that's what that's so that's not really a complaint it's an observation i like so what was your decision how did you end up making the choice of where to buy your car i went you know the truth is i went in there and it was much more of a low key operation all right i didn't feel any pressure you know i what are you going to buy the car today it's just one of the tag lines you're going to buy it today none of that it was a much lower thing i had already pretty much knew the car that i wanted to know if there's a different world you're going to the internet you can see what these cars are and you can really have a pretty good idea not a hundred percent but i'm someone which

would never know me you know what this car of honor is you hear that advertise they deliver a car to you yeah yeah it could come from anywhere in a million years 10 million years i wouldn't buy an automobile that i get in especially we're not talking about a new car we're talking about a used car yeah you got to drive it you got to see it you got to drive you got to smell it you got to you got to do a 360 lap you got to get your hands on you got to drive past like a reflective mirror type glass and look at yourself in the car you look yeah yeah well ever since uh i was drinking some chowra and i knew about the patriots and uh uber yeah i'm so happy with this is the happiest type of a bit let's go you didn't want to do it uh you didn't want to do this and look

at you and you're gonna catch me like i gotta say one thing was important because you are going to yell at me afterwards can you back up just a little bit you're gonna get mad at me because you're yeah there we go yeah there you go i gotta go you're gonna get mad at me when you see the clips and it's just half of it it's just half your face i i when you said back up i thought you wanted me to repeat so that's good i mean that it feels like all right well this is a good like we're boosting your back up this is yes this is dudes lifting dudes yeah i i want to also tell you before i forget if you know the number of people that you know they they'll that know who i am for one reason one amount you know what they always ask me i miss you not being on pardon my

take that's true yeah we miss you i know well you had your serious show it got canceled because of poor reviews so we want you know my son was right about that he partially right uh i do miss doing it he said he was afraid that if they think i lost that i would kill myself and he wasn't gonna let that happen but he kind of reneged on that uh huh so i'm i'm still alive at least temporarily except now i'm dealing with a chat over in papyrus i'm doing yeah you're killing it yeah the bag wasn't big enough from uh from serious for dave to keep you alive yeah it was enough money from serious so dave was like you know what if he if he off himself he off himself have you found a way to scratch that it still have you like are you still calling your cousin every every morning and doing a radio

show between the two unfortunately i wanted to mention this too is the problems i've had medically he's had a bypass oh and he's got some issues that he's dealing with now he's going to be okay but he this almost sounds funny yeah he had the operation i want to say maybe two three weeks or maybe i don't remember exactly you could suddenly get well wish he right now he has in the car he has to sit in the back seat because they're worried that the the incision could come out right and that was good so he would love to hear from you guys okay okay thoughts and prayers yeah shout out cousin Murray shout out max b max b max b is doing very well getting uh i can't believe he's 10 years old wow and uh he's got some athletic ability which i saw

early in my son and i see it in him uh and you know with covid we haven't been here i you know we always went with dave always went to the games from an early on early age haven't been able to do it with my grandson well did you ever coach mr portnoy way back when you mean yeah but now no way back when oh yeah i i coached the little league team and i that that was really the end of it i i didn't do anything beyond that but i did coaches i remember was the red socks and we used to go out for we used to go out for chata and we take an old book and go watch the patriots there you go that's that's great i can't that actually that's crazy that max b is 10 because when you first came on the show he was five years old i think you were like yeah yeah picking

him up from the bus stop yeah you like that for kindergarten yeah you were you were one of our first guests we do miss you we you're welcome to come on but i have one more i yeah i'd like to tell you i'm very busy i'm just right now i have to do the first time in quite a while i'm doing some legal work but uh i'm always available let's put it down what are you soon are you soon that sidewalk you know something oh i didn't tell you about that they went back to the scene of the crime i didn't take an over there right uh and i the patriots weren't on and i hadn't had any child i am doing great anyway so i wish my doctor saw this now you know something now they're gonna i go i have to go for an MRI on my keppy which because of i found that test maybe could we send

this yes yeah there's evidence right yes anyway so i went back to the scene of the crime and the police would came down when this happened because it just so happens very close to police station where it happened so they were there the dpw marked the area with red red ink there was a plain a tree that they had remulched a young tree they marked with it with a cement was with a red border and a big x on it i'm sure if i had seen that maybe i wouldn't have fallen yeah uh plus it was very interesting uh i saw my dried blood on this drop so the whole thing you know but it's probably suing them that's a waste of time man well since you already admitted on this podcast that you've never lifted up your feet when you walk yeah i think that's probably damning

but even if i had even if even if i had an argument that i wasn't you know that i was doing very well walking etc very very difficult to sue a a town in that situation where i live which is a fairly nice area the sidewalks are in a vulnerable condition i mean the streets not bad but the sidewalks are terrible terrible i've got a question for you um maybe some legal advice that we could use some help with so we've recently come under fire for uh the alleged bullying of the reigning us open asterix champion bryce into shambo because people are yelling let's go brooksy adam after he hits a shot and then he'll kick them out can we be held legally liable for any damage done to bryce's brain uh for mental harm i'm only worried about my brain uh i think

you know it's like any case that there's a i think it's a weak case that he has uh i think that uh to link what you did let's just for the sake of argument say that there was i know i've always told you guys when you talk about uh and this would be an intentional talk say that's a an intentional not a criminal wrong but you did something intentionally to upset him okay and there and uh to cause him uh mental anguish yep all right and then you did and probably true that probably is why you did but the other part of all these stories is which i'm sure i've told you many times how does he prove his damages how does he prove his damages does he go and see a doctor and say doctor because of these assholes and pardon my take i'm not i can't play anymore i've lost

endorsements nobody went i i think maybe you ought to look to brooks kepper before he talks to you because that seems to be you know something i that idea that my son had of having him caddy when david does that thing with brooks kepper that is such a brook a brilliant idea he'll never do it i'm sure he'll never do it wait is is kepper yiddish forehead it's close close i don't think you know something if think about it they both have odd first names i think brooks and brison yeah yeah i mean that's not common names i mean brison i don't think brooks really is no definitely not i had a question about your son so your son's been posting a lot of videos recently of him playing youth sports all the way up through high school the videos that he

posts they're very flattering of him is your is your recollection the same like was dav a great athlete growing up he was very good and what he was which you know you talk on baseball i don't care how good you are you could be there's gotta be more than one good player on the team all right and he was with a group of people that were good players he wasn't the best one on that team there were a couple people that were that were one kid i don't know if you know peter you might have met him he's worked for mlb uh he was an exceptional athlete and got a lot of awards relative to david i'll tell you something i might my and it's gone now but this is what my grandson has not speed when david was younger he had speed and you know that expression of sports

speed kills you can't teach somebody to be fast my grandson has a david had it no longer obviously let's get out of right but yeah there's someone uh you're gonna call you're gonna call oh i got it i got it all right well mr portnoy let's um wait he just hung up that was it that was it all right that was mr portnoy i think he nailed the he would have gotten uber chowder and patrice absolutely absolutely i think that's it we just healed him yeah you don't want to tell him to join again i think that's an appropriate sign off yeah that was a perfect sign off yeah i'll call him right now i'll follow up i'll tell him thanks for coming on and we'll have him on again so yeah that's a important one do you have to ask him a real back question uh no i don't

okay so we're good hey so we'll end it there but can you just give us three words real quick uber zoom patrice how about that uber no uh chowder hold on i'm gonna wait wait a minute would it uber chowder patrice what are they gonna say you said zoom instead of chowder because you were thinking about going back on zoom looking at the zoom that's understandable yes i'm gonna pass on that yeah you do yeah you were looking at the zoom to try to get back on but we'll we'll talk to you soon wait a minute wait a minute one more chance uber patrice chowder nailed it all right great show are you gonna report that

on the year i want that report i'm recording it right now i'm recording right now we're still recording yeah yeah jake can you actually blog this yes mr portnoy ace is back he's back mental exam all right we'll talk soon though we'll have you on soon again okay all right all right talk to you later mr portnoy is brought to you by our friends over at zip recruiter we love zip recruiter at zip recruiter they know that the general experience of looking for a job is pretty sucky zip wants to help make things easier for all the job seekers out there which is why they're teaming up with bar stool to help us find the newest upcoming interns to join the pirate ship this summer by going to zip recruiter dot com you can see all the upcoming opportunities open for the summer if you're a certain

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valentine on monday is awesome we already taped it it's fucking awesome yeah yeah it really is we went one two right out of the gate wrap question mustache in the dugout question it honestly felt like somebody that we were talking about we've been great friends with for 30 years and we're gonna we're gonna maybe be working on his campaign you never know uh hank you know my firefest is that you didn't yawn in the mic for the people yeah i went to the end um oh you have them are you eating them i've been eating them uh oh you just ate well you just ate one no i can't like i can't i can't do it on command all right stop my five is that i had an opportunity to go to game six of the islanders game but i decided to save my money because i was going to buy tickets to game seven

in boston and go home wash the bruins win seven at home and that didn't happen and i didn't get to go to a game with calcium so that was a mistake that's a firefest and but beloved bruins are now kicked out of the playoffs but you did make the right choice because you would have watched a loss right and spent money on a loss but it's cool atmosphere i don't know maybe you could have been able to write that off in my own mind collie went just a trip home get to like wait on to the spit chuck some knocks gas i appreciate what you just did hank because that is the all time everyone does that he didn't say write that off on my taxes write that off on like my budget no write that off on my own mind yeah and that is so true when you're like all right i wasted money on this but yeah well

you know spent three hundred dollars on the bar but i didn't i well i didn't go out all of covet right and also hank you can keep that in your back pocket as an example of a vacation that you didn't take yeah i miss those days of like in colleges like all right i don't have a lot of money i'm gonna go big tonight and then i'm not gonna go out on tuesday and that's how i budget oh i mean like if you got sick on a weekend in college yeah it's like you look back on that you're like that honestly probably saved me four hundred dollars free money yeah money absolutely i wish i got sick more often on friday's oh that was one sorry for everyone who's yawning now in their car on their commute all right good firefest hank thanks it's it hank that's it all right um my

firefest is uh the pretend girlfriend that i never had is now trying to sleep with everybody else on this podcast yeah i woke up to that so that's that's a shame uh she got mad at me because she saw the video that bubba put out where i just i said she's a friend and a professional and a respected journalist and all the above she's gonna fuck you harder yeah well now she's like she hosts the joe rogan podcast she does she's she's one she's a media mogul hank she's not just a podcast host either she is multi-dimensional um she does videos that she gets paid for and she's uh now she's mad at me because i said that we're just friends so she's lashing out she wants to sleep with the entire podcast right now which means that part of my take it's gonna be even more successful

based on her past yeah um so a girl that i was never dating broke up with me brutal sorry for loss but she did she also dm me to apologize later and call me daddy again so who knows just do it pfc just go down there who knows get it get it over with i'm not i'm i don't want to force it i can't i i can't force it it's like there but it's not you know trying to get you to yawn now i'm yawning now i got yawns up my you're like you're scaring me you're scaring my own just do it i'll pretend your yawns aren't here i'll just pretend they're not in the room all right my firefest is um i am officially uh with two kids now i think i'm just officially gonna miss some things so i it happened to me on sunday night when i came in and you guys were like hey you guys see trump pants and i

legitimately had not seen a single tweet about it yeah i just missed the whole thing like i just missed it i don't know if it was what i was doing but then i realized i have to just come to grips with the fact that there are certain things also happened with the tommy cheeseballs video uh when he uh rudely said that our friend riko bosco has a dickie do i what's a dickie do it's when your stomach's so big you can't see your dickie do all right i think it's your stomach sticks out further than your dickie do there it is i but i missed that so guess what i'm just gonna be the mystic guy i'm gonna be i mean it also happened cori davis people told us which i'm not gonna blame anyone else in this room but no one said hey he's not on the titans anymore but i'm just gonna miss some

stuff hand up uh this is my pre-warning that you know like when i'm like hey i just missed that whole thing uh i literally just missed the whole thing i had no not even an inkling of the trump pants when you guys were talking about it dude it's it's actually a blessing for you yeah it's a great excuse memory hole yeah yeah listen 90% of the stuff that i learn about on a day-to-day basis is stuff that actively makes me dumber to know yeah like when i saw the trump pants i was like all right so some people are saying that he's wearing his pants backwards some people are saying that he didn't iron his pants correctly some people are roasting me saying that they look like my capitalist pants and then six hours later i completely forgot about it it just took a

valuable you know what his pants were living rent-free in my head right now big cat your head is like no vacancy yeah not for all full baby like when you watch eight hours of kasey anthony videos seven years later yeah i i did get really into the that's just the criminal interrogation series on youtube which is the fucking algorithm absolutely nailed me on that one try true she is coming bonk yeah i'm i'm more attracted to how good of a liar she is yeah when she's like you're trying to her personality yeah yeah she's like well in a crazy way she's like i yeah i work at universal studios she doesn't and then she led the detectives into an office building hank hank was that a yawn she takes him to the end of the office building and she's like uh yeah i gotta

be honest i don't actually work here yeah like to me that she's cool i i i do think yeah it probably is for the better overall just for like hey you missed a couple things you don't need to see everything online but it was jarring because it was like it was almost like being concussed and being like oh i forgot we had time to see what happens when you take a vacation big cat it's crazy hmm well we are you've been liking a lot of life for it we actually a couple of us are what hank's been smashing that like button oh i did like your like of uh the the poor joys mean to interns that person showed up just today just because i had to go through some stuff doesn't mean other people should um shout out all of our interns they're trying hard they're doing it

yeah you you you the voice for the voiceless yeah you want something better right you built something better for for the people who come after you right that's actually a very admirable thing to do for hank thank you i almost called you frank i don't know why all right jake would you just fucking dominate all week again no it's actually part of my sweep today me hank and pft all won yeah no you dominate all week that's what i'm saying i mean so did that they actually put out more convincing performances they deserve more credit than i did stop it jake you're doing double sportsmanship again it started off as a true fire fest until a few hours ago it was resolved but backstory cup on the last episode i had the reminder in a couple of weeks of you guys having

to uh suck your own yeah private parts sticky and i had been doing research the last two days trying to figure out where that originated um we have our answer thanks from uh christ from upstairs he works upstairs he emailed me and you go back to the january 27th episode oh no where are we jake make sure you put this in there uh give us a reminder that we need to make a video sucking our own dicks before the takey awards this year and how important it is the weight of history is in our hands mlb hall of fame convert to you know yep all right so we'll do it for the video so it was a firefest trying to figure it out but now that video that video was uh yeah okay good yeah all right good job jake that was wait that was the one where he was in his study sunlit study yeah i watched it

i've never laughed like harder at something that was trying to be so so serious what do you what are you laughing at Liam stop your your ad d big cat today like focus focus the podcast i want to yawn i'm i'm also curious i can't we're not i can't yell until we get a yawn i can't you can't force it out of me jake what did you what were you googling to try to figure out when we talked about sucking our own dicks yeah did you see our dicks pretty much what you did did you see any cocks no no shout out to chris he that is a huge shout out all right so we will uh make a video ourselves deep-throating ourselves throat go to gonna have to hit up AJ titties for some some uh advice brat oh okay uh dude out of sight out of mine as a bro to a bro we gotta get you over this

break i'm down bad right now big cat by the way get you over this breakup i have a serious question as dudes mm-hmm are we not posting enough of our own dubs we should we should post like that that account posting dubs yeah the account dudes posting dubs is a great account we should post more more dubs as dudes yeah i agree we gotta post each other so we gotta we gotta dub each other up hank good job at ping pong today thanks you needed a dub you got one mm-hmm there you go sweep sweep whoo hank are you gonna play against jake son yeah the tournament i'm gonna win i'm gonna win the whole tournament uh yeah you are i'll be the best in the office you are gonna be the best in the office hank's gonna schedule jake against like every other top seed on his side of the bracket

he's gonna be in listen there's a big massive uh contingency of people doing the scheduling i'm just a small part of sure yeah yeah the group but you're small wait a small notch in the conveyor belt yes is that what you said yep 34 give me an eight give me seventy three eighteen sixty seven ninety two out of play even one ninety seven shots today because billy b word has 69 no 69 is in there as a hundred remember ooh unlucky 13 does not qualify does not count 13 does not qualify wow anyone who had 13 you got robbed 47 we've actually got having like last week we've had 47 47 now joins 52 and 84 in a five peak category wow is is 47 bad for lottery balls wait did we do we have 47 like last week

uh 47's last appearance was may 6th month ago wow love you guys got a fact wait wait yeah give me a journalism fact journalism fact bobby valentine on monday awesome interview there are two different kinds of a microphone a condenser which is used for studio recording and radio like we're using right now and dynamic is for live performances and speaking like the metal silver round one very cool jake yeah love you very cool but um I'm gonna call it Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber,

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