Pardon My Take - NFL Week 2 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes & NBA Playoffs

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

NFL Week 2 is in the books. Fastest 2 minutes. We recap every game from Sunday. Is Matt Patricia eating his losses? Mitch Trubisky has perfected the art of the duck. The Vikings suck and Josh Allen is incredible. Adam Gase somehow still has a job and we're now a Bud Dupree podcast. Matt Rhule is on dumb face watch and Justin Herbert makes his debut. Football guy of the week. Who's back of the week including NBA talk and Bronny James Jr smoking weed. Thats the whole show, no other sports were played this weekend.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have NFL Week 2. I almost said three. My brain is melting. Don't do that. Don't skip ahead. It was an incredible, incredible Sunday, incredible weekend of football, incredible

weekend of sports. Sports are so back. Holy shit. It was wall to wall. I want to talk about all of it. We are actually in Philadelphia right now for the new Barstool Sportsbook app, so we do not have Dion on this week when we're in Philadelphia. We won't be getting them on, but we'll have them back on next week. So we have everything, fastest two minutes, recap of every game,

who's back of the week, football guy of the week. All of it is brought to you by the Cash App. We're not in the Cash App Studio right now. We're actually in a random bedroom. Cash App Studio is where the heart is, though. In Philadelphia, but exactly. The Cash App Studio is it's just around you. It surrounds you. It's everywhere.

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Download the Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Store today. OK, let's go. And then I'll have to stop the work to be done. No pistol hang, I don't want shit. And then I can't live all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue. And then we're taking higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue.

It's part of my tip presented by Barstow Sports. Welcome to part of my tip presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now. Use code Barstow, you get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, September 21st, week two. There's some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house. We started Dallas where Big D stands for big demeanor.

The Falcons want to gag, want to choke as the dirty birds did their best to crash and burn in the fourth quarter and can't Calvin Ridley themselves from the curse of Arthur Blank. Jerry Jones said, when I ride this deck, I'm gonna spell my name on his paychecks as Prescott led the boys back for an unbelievable win. And the Falcons season is no now riding dirty in a Hayden hearse. That's right, they're dead, teach Cowboys 40, Falcons 39. There's some scores in this house.

There's some scores in this house. Up an indie where Jonathan Taylor Thomas laid the hammer on the Vikings defense and Kirk Cousins, number eight, my ass. He's a bottom feeder. Minnesota said, if I don't hang, then he can't bang. You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain. And the Vikings were gluttonous for a punishment on Sunday. The deforestation of the Amazon Buckner had a few strip sacks.

Brazilian waxes, that is. And Jemera said, close the ceiling on Minnesota season. Colts 25, Vikings 11. There's some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house. In Chicago, where giant Khalil Mack truck got all up in Daniel Jones garage, orange hair, Jason Garrett's head game was fire, making a clap on the sidelines, but not much else.

The Bears offense said to Joe Judge, your honor, I'm a freak, Mitch. Handcuffs, leashes spanked the Giants defense. Hold on. Is that a dog, Massey? What's wrong, Massey? You just caught a ball on third down to seal the wind in the giant season is stuck in a well. The Bears are no longer the door mat, Nagy of the NFC Norse, winning 17-13. There's some scores in this house.

There's some scores in this house. We head south to Tampa Bay, where Tom Brady is a certified freak seven days a week. And the Bucks are making that pullout game week because reports of Tom terrific's demise came way too quick. Yeah, yeah, you bucking with some wet ass pussy. Leonard Nimoy Farnette made the live long and prosper sign and put two in the pink and two in the stinky end zone. Bruce Springsteen Ariens will have the media back on his side this week

as the offense looks born to run. Buck 31. That's some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house. In the frozen tundra where the cheeseheads are stirring up things in the NFC like macaroni in a pot. Aaron, the stallion Jones said the Lions pussy defense is wild. Come let me run a dive.

Balling out for 168 yards of two touchdowns. Matt Patricia Arquette is officially flirting with disaster as his head coaching career may not make it out of boyhood. Packers 42. Lions 21. There's some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house. In Nashville, where Mike Vrable is not afraid to let her hop on top to a Kegel.

He's inside and break it off for a chance on a Super Bowl. Gardner, two and a half men's shoe has that tiger blood coursing through his veins, leading the Jaguars to a second half comeback, only to see it go up and smoke with a late game pit by Harold and Kumar Landry. The Titans are gaskowskying into first place 33 30. Does some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house. To the city of brotherly love where Sean McBae said, I need a henny drinker.

I need a weed smoker, but sorry, Rams and Eagles fans. Chris Long isn't walking through that door. Daryl Hollenotes Henderson had the Eagles defense out of touch, man eating his way to 81 yards in a touchdown. Johnny Carson Wentz used to look good in prime time, but now he's dead too soon. Boom, Rams, they roll in 37 19. There's some scores in this house. There's some scores in this house.

Staying in Pennsylvania, where TJ WAP put that pussy on Drew Lockdown as a Broncos tried to win by grinding on that dick, Fangio defense. The motorcycle bad man, Ben, but don't break. Rockless burger kept his foot on the gas as the Steelers don't have a Gallagher blunt in their backfield anymore, but they do have a LeBron James Conner Jr. to smoke the opposing defenses. Steelers 26, the Broncos 21. There's some scores in this house.

There's some scores in this house. Out to LA where my homes may love ketchup, but Andy Reed likes the pussy with a one just like Pat's credit. Bold and spicy boom. Justin Timberlake Herbert got dressed up after suit in Tyron Taylor was ruled out. Milf Hunter, Henry, tried to take it to the housewife, but it was Harrison. You could put it in my butler who ended up splitting the uprights and winning the game.

Twenty three twenty. That's some schools in this house. There's some schools in this house. And we finish in Houston, where JJ WAP and Deshaun Wapson were no match for opera singer Justin Tucker, who had the dangly thing in the back of his throat, wiggling around all afternoon. Ingram the second baby mark to do to do to do. Tuck the Titans in and put them to bed with a fourth quarter scamper.

People are starting to wonder if Bill O'Brien Kransen is getting high on his own supply after training Geodre Wapkins and losing to the Cardi B. Altamore Ravens to go to 0 and to the Ravens 33. The Texas 16. All right. And week two is in the box. We still actually have the Raiders opening their new stadium. The big.

What is it called? The big Roomba? No, the big Roomba looks like a Roomba. It looks like a Roomba from hell. It does look sweet on a little bit of the desert. Drew Brees would probably break 16 new records on Monday night. But week two in the books, unbelievable. This last week we were back, but this week is when it was like, holy shit,

chaos everywhere, some insane endings. And the beginning of new narratives. You never know what the narratives are going to be after week one. Now we are starting to get clued in and we have some takes. OK, so we'll have some new narrative alerts. We by the way, we have so we're in Philadelphia right now. New Barstool Sportsbook app. If you didn't see, we invented a new bet called the Hanson,

which was just betting the over of all the points scored on Sunday. It won. It crushed. So we're in Philly. That's why we don't have Dion on this week. When we're in Philly, we're not going to have Dion on because it's hard to Skype and do all that. We'll have him on next week, but we will be recapping every game. And of course, we're going to start with the Sunday night game,

which was a classic Patriots lose to Seahawks 35 30. So Hank, you walked upstairs because because you were you were watching downstairs on a live stream and you were like, I'm not so upset about that loss because we were in that game and losing to Russell Wilson at home is not like something that you can be ashamed of. We were we were also down two scores in the fourth quarter. Like it didn't really seem like it was it wasn't a game that they blew like they came back.

They fought Russell Wilson's unbelievable. Cam Newton played well. Patriots defense is banged up and like half their players opted out. They didn't play well, but I thought the game was good. I thought the like the Patriots were very promising. Yeah, it was a very, very promising game. I would watch these two teams play every single week. Yes, just the match up in general, just like the names that you have

and either side of the game like delivered on all that hype. It was an awesome game. And yeah, Cam Newton looks good. He looks healthy. Well, but he also looks he threw the ball. He had to throw the ball like, you know, week one, he ran at 15 times. This and everyone was saying, well, what happens if they're down? That kind of answered that question.

Julian Edelman certified deep threat. Yeah, still gets open. And Julian Edelman was exhausted at the end of the game. Just like picking himself up off the ground. He looked like he was ready to puke on the field. But yeah, he played really well. Is Cam Newton too healthy? Might be the question you might want to ask yourself because

everyone knew was coming on that last play, right? You knew that Cam was going to run it and they were able to stop and get into the backfield on it. Cam Newton, if he maybe has like a little he has absolutely no hesitation running the ball or passing it. The shoulder looks really, really good right now. They should have run the Tebow. They should have also just run it straight ahead.

I don't know, like, you know, running it to the side like that with that little delay, I know it worked a few times. But like PFT said, everyone in the world knew that was coming. And I mean, I yeah, I guess I see what you're saying. Like you losing. Russell Wilson is fucking insane. He's insane. Five touchdowns and he does.

We said it last week, but the prettiest ball in all sports is when Russell Wilson throws the like drop in the bucket touchdown and he had a couple of them tonight. DK DK. And then the other one to the pylon, which was like insane footwork, like he's playing on a different level right now. And the Seahawks have. I'm convinced they have four lockets.

Locket is everywhere on the field. Yeah, but no, but Lockett, in particular, like he's everywhere. They have to have multiple. Chumol Adams is also everywhere, too. Chumol Adams is insane. And we also have to. We can't just not mention the fact that Bill Belichick tasked Ernie Adams all week with cutting up a new mask for him.

He looked like Birdman. It was it was it was he looked like the penguin. He had a baby. Maybe is the penguin the new guy in the new Batman? Yes, or the Riddler. Oh, what just happened? It's a ghost. We have a ghost in the room.

Are we OK? Yeah, what's going on? I'll just turn my volume up. OK, he looked like the penguin. Unbelievable. He looked like when I wear that stupid high altitude mask and convince myself I sit on my couch and play video games in high altitude. I'll lose weight. Yeah, that was him.

It was but it was tiny, though. It was like really small. It was like Russell Wilson's. If you were a G string, it covered up barely like the spot between his nostrils and the top of his upper lip. Yes. So yeah, Belichick looked awesome. Steve Belichick looked great on the sidelines. That mullet is flowing. Great hair.

Absolutely great hair. Great game. Just great game. So Ken Norton, he's the defensive coordinator for the for the Seahawks. OK, big time football guy. He had his fingers taped up like he was going to go out there and play defense line. I like it. Very intimidating. Like hardball wearing his cleats.

Yes, I absolutely love that. Yeah, great. It was a great game. There's nothing better. I it's just I don't know. You can't you can't plan it because it's obviously random and it's the world's greatest, you know, reality show is sports. But there's something about a great Sunday night football game that just puts a beautiful cherry on top of Sunday.

Like when you have a shitty clunker for Sunday night, you go to bed and you're kind of like, OK, well, it was fun moments. But a instant classic Sunday night just has you buzzing in your head. Yeah, after and you're just like, fuck, that was awesome. Because I wait for next Sunday. It makes you feel like you definitely didn't waste your day by sitting on the couch all day watching NFL football. You know what?

It's never a waste to sit on your couch, obviously, watching NFL football. But I did have a realization this morning because, like I said, we are in Philly, so I was walking around today trying to get trying to suck in as much fresh air, knowing that I was not going to get off the couch for 14 hours. I think the two hours before kickoff. They're not better than the football, but they're pretty damn good. You haven't lost the bad boys. And you also, when you there's something about walking around before

an NFL Sunday, seeing like people in their jerseys or their sweatshirts and giving that nod like, yo, it's on. Yes, it's about to fucking get it's pre football. Sometimes we're about to do this shit. It's more potent than the actual football. It's incredible. It's just there's something about it that I just we need to come up with with a phrase for it because it's those it's those like three.

I wake up early on Sunday just so I can have as much pre football as possible. It's pretty fun. That's what it is. It's pre fun. Yes. And the second cousin of that would be when you go out to like Las Vegas and you walk through the casino on a Saturday and all the dealers are already

wearing their NFL jerseys on a Saturday, just reminding you. Hey, it's coming. It's football time, baby. It is football time. OK, next game we have Packers at Lyons. I want to say this as respectfully as possible. I think Matt Patricia is eating his losses. He looks large and those losses are piling up

because they've lost now 11 in a row. The Lions have lost 11 games in a row. They've also a lot. Why are you looking like that? I think they've lost four straight losses, four straight losses where they've had double digit leads. Well, well, let's let's give credit where credit to Matt Patricia is also the architect of that interception in Super Bowl from the two yard line.

Correct. Put some respect on his name. Correct. So they've had four straight losses, 11. I'm sorry, Lions fans, 11 or sorry, 11 straight losses, four straight losses where they've had a double digit lead week one. They're up twenty three six. They lose twenty seven twenty three week two. They're up fourteen three on the Packers. They lose forty two twenty one.

This is the guy who they hired for Jim Caldwell after firing Jim Caldwell on nine and seven season, which again, I'm sorry, Lions fans, but there is a level of you have to know what you are. It's I mean, it's similar. I can speak about it because it's when the Bears fired. Lovey Smith for Mark Trussman is like, wait, why? Right. Because what are we doing? Matt Patricia, though, he's doing the Bret Bielma where the losses pile up

and the losses equal cheeseburgers and the cheeseburgers pile up and then they go to your belly. He was certainly getting into lair season a little bit early. He was all seven layer dip on Matt Patricia's body. He looked like, you know, the kid in the Christmas story, where they just bundle him up and every single like warm winter piece of clothing that they have and he can't really walk anymore. Matt Patricia is getting less cold.

It's not. It's not. But he's layering up. He's just it's and this is also I think if you could script like the perfect head coaching resume, never be a guru on either side. Like be be John Harbaugh, be the special teams coach, be the quality controls coach. Because then people can't like you can control special teams. You could have great special teams by finding the right guys. Matt Patricia, his defense fucking stinks and he's a defensive guru.

So I don't know what like I feel bad for the guy because I think it's over here. But man, the Lions got absolutely gashed like gashed on the run. And Aaron Jones was all over the place. Aaron Rodgers, the fuck you towards happening this year. I've come to accept it and I'm very, very scared. But they were just running all over. It's always weird to see the Packers with a competent run game.

It always looks like a glitch because we haven't really seen that from from them really in the last like 15 years. But they do need to figure out how to keep Aaron Rodgers pissed off for entire season. Yeah, they have to have a strategy because right now they're threat. They're toasting off their masterclass of draft and Jordan Love. Jordan Love is going to start dating Danica Pratchett. So they need to set him up.

They need to absolutely get under skin somehow like that or just like hire a bully to hang out next to Aaron. Bring Brett Favre back in. Make his make his brother who he doesn't speak to offensive coordinator. Yeah, any quarterback coach, anything to get a rise of. Just smash all the crystals that Danica left behind. You need to keep him pissed off over the course of the season because Aaron Rodgers, he does play better when he has that chip on his shoulder.

But it wasn't even him today, though. It was. He was good. But the running game for 259, the running game is sick. And again, it looks weird when the Packers are running the ball so very well. But the Lions are just I'm sorry, Lions fans. This is like and you have to restart all over again. Everything's got to be washed away. I don't even like what do you even do with Matt Stafford?

Do you just say, hey, Matt, like sorry, man, like never really worked out. Yeah, you should have retired five years ago. I don't know. I like maybe just go away. Yeah, you can't restart with him. You can't bring in like a new guy like Matt Stafford. I think I'm the one who's on the hook of calling him as a Hall of Fame future Hall of Fame quarterback just based off his ridiculous stats.

Yeah, no, he's absolutely going to be in the Hall of Fame. But yeah, his his future like Matt Patricia, let's let's get real. He's probably not going to win more than five or six games this year. And there's no chance that might be that might be too much. There's no chance might be too much. They do play the Vikings twice. But listen, it's so they got Cardinals and Saints in the next two weeks.

Uh huh. Does he survive that? Does he survive to week five? Because then they start 0 and 4, like that might be tough. Is it is it in New Orleans? It is not in New Orleans. And then they play the Falcons in weeks six or five, which will be hilarious. Week six.

Don't they notoriously not fire coaches? No, they'll fire. I mean, he'll he'll be fired. But like just in this case, it's shocking that they have a fire herself. Yeah, it's shocking that they haven't fired Matt Patricia yet. The Falcons Lions game in week six is going to be hilarious. Like who you almost it's like Mario Kart. You don't want to lead.

Yeah, because whoever's behind is definitely going to win. No, I think at all times, I think I play hot potato. I think the Falcons are I would put the house on the Falcons in that game. Yeah, but then the Falcons will get the Falcons away. Yes, the Falcons. All right. So that was that game. I yeah, just Matt Patricia, like you don't have to eat your losses. That's all I'm going to say.

Respectfully, respectfully. All right, Titans, Jaguars, Gardner, Minshew is our free. My two biggest takeaways was Gardner, Minshew, maybe he's just going to be the guy who we always say like he's playing for a job, but he's always good enough to have the job because he's good enough to have the job. But he's all of us like he's the line is he's playing for his job. And then Ryan Tannehill.

So is Ryan Tannehill officially just good? Ryan Tannehill took the next step when nobody was watching. Yeah, he's he is very good. Secondly, and there's there's no one that I think I've been wrong or about in the last five years. Wait, no, no, you don't. We were all wrong about Ryan Tannehill because he's I don't think we. I don't think you counted is wrong.

No, you know, I was right. I was right. Right. We were all right for so long. Yes, he just finally we made so many jokes about taking the next step. He finally was like, fuck it. You guys want to keep making fun of me for taking the next step. I'm going to take the next step. He went ahead and he did it.

I don't know if it's just that Titans offense or he likes the air in Tennessee better, whatever it is. Ryan Tannehill is just like a top 10 quarterback right now. He's four. So starts season to say 44 out of 60, 460 yards, six touchdowns, zero interceptions and also Ryan Tannehill. I don't know what it is specifically, but he throws a really tall ball. I feel like all his passes are always high up. You know what? He's got good shoulder height.

Yeah, I feel like if you measure just from from the cleats to the shoulders, he his shoulders are that of like a six foot eight person. It doesn't feel like every time they go to red zone, it's Ryan Tannehill. Like in the red zone, running a play action, where then he throws a perfectly placed tall ball to a really tall guy. He's got a lot of tall guys for sure. And I mean, it helps a lot having Derek Henry. Yes, I think that's what we're not even in tractor seato season.

Like Derek Henry is not even going yet. That he's not. He will get going later, but he's not going yet. And and Vrable, I guess, trusts his kickers now. Well, Gostowski is the now the bizarro world. Venetary, so Gustowski missed another extra point today and then hit a 50 yard, 51 yard to go into halftime and a 49 yard to win it. So he he missed it.

Wait, no, Vinitary missed all of them. Never mind. Yeah, last year, Vinitary was just bad last year. He was just bad period. But Gaskowski is a future Hall of Famer like Adam Vinitary. Yes, he Gostowski is essentially like a three pointer who can't shoot free throws. Yeah, three point specialist who can't shoot free throws at this point. Yeah, I mean, he's very good for long distance. And in general, this week proved that kickers are back.

Yes, it's a big rebound week for kickers. Did anyone I feel like we didn't there was maybe like Nick Nick folk had a bad miss, I think. OK, well, that makes sense. Yeah, he's been in the league for like 30 years. Either way, credit to the Titans and Jaguars for playing a fun game. Yeah, see that one. Yeah. I mean, I'm always shocked when I see the Titans score more than 30 points. Yes, for some reason, like Titans to me, I think it's their colors.

They just they scream like 19 to 13. Well, it's also what was his name a few years ago? What was the football that he decided to install? Fuck. My brain. Oh, it was Mike Malarkey. Yeah, I mean, exotic smash, exotic smash. Yeah, which meant that like they're going to run play action occasionally on third down. We're going to run the ball, but we're going to make it look sexy. Yeah. All right. Next up, Bears Giants.

I mean, the Bears are two and all. That's all I'll say. The Bears are two and all. It hasn't been pretty. We had the two different worlds of Mitch today. We had good Mitch in the first half and then bad Mitch in the second half. Yeah, I think he only had like 30 yards in the second half. It was perfect. Mitch Weather, though. It was it was 66 degrees, yes, which as we've heard is that's where he has like the highest quarterback.

Because he had that one game against the box. Yeah, Mitch. OK, say something nice about Mitch. Well, first of all, Bears are two and all. Second, it's not always pretty, but it's starting to get there more. So he's throwing ducks, but they're actually going to the right guys. I saw I'm cool with that. I saw him throw one pass today that looked like it was it was kicked off. Yes. It was like spiraling.

It looked like an inside kit. Yeah, I was going over. It got there and it got caught. Right. So, yeah, and we're not getting any screenshot, Mitch's, where we're like, oh, he should have thrown at this guy or like any of the passes that are thrown, you know, more than five yards, either overthrown or under thrown. We didn't have any of those. Maybe this is the key to Mitch. Maybe he's like a great knuckleball pitcher.

Yeah, where the defense can't catch up with whatever he's throwing. Do you think he's missing some ligaments like Ari Dickey in his hand? It's I mean, again, it doesn't look pretty. It's not going to make NFL films. Right. You know, when they do the spiral that's going over and you can see the top level of the stadium and the cool soundtrack hits. It's not that, but it got there in the first half. And credit to Matt Nagy.

I have been a very vocal hater of Matt Nagy, especially last year, but he is starting to figure out the formula of run, run, run, play defense because the Bears committed to the run and they ran the ball a lot. And it got fucking hairy, but they're two and oh. And yes, you could tell me, I look, I'm a realist, two and ohs, two and oh. But I also understand two and oh is probably against two of the bottom five teams in the NFL between the Giants and Lions. I understand that.

So I'm not going to go around parading myself, but I'd rather be two and oh than oh and two. Yeah, you're in the capricy right now with the Giants. I think we can officially say that Daniel Jones is not Eli Manning. And so there was all last season, there was like this little I want to believe that Daniel Jones is a good quarterback, one, because he got that sweet win against Tampa Bay that we all bet on one money off of him. And then second, everything that he does just looks exactly like Eli Manning, version 2.0. I think we've seen enough to know that he is not Eli Manning.

You don't like him? He's no, I don't like. Oh, I like Daniel Jones. And he's not as fun as I like him. I. OK, maybe I'm just incepted by the Giants fans in the office, but he has no talent around him. I mean, Saquon got hurt, Sterling Shepard got hurt. He he's probably going to be one of those guys who in year 10, you're going to be saying if Daniel Jones can just just limit the turnovers, he'll be great.

But I think I like him. Like I actually think he's a good quarterback. I think there's a good quarterback in there. It's just going to you have to figure out a way for him to stop fumbling all the time and throwing, you know, stupid interceptions. But I we given what he has around him, like if you put him on a talented team, you could you can go far with him. I really think that I don't think so.

Oh, I think that I like Herbert better than I like Daniel Jones already. I think Herbert is a better. I mean, you saw one. You saw Herbert. Yeah, play one game where the defense didn't plan for him. And I heard that's why I like Daniel Jones last year when he played against the Bucks defense that wasn't really planned for him. But the but the Bears have a good defense and Daniel Jones.

I mean, he kept them kind of in it. He had no one. He literally has no one. I mean, Herbert had guys throw to Herbert has actually got a lot of talent around. He's got a great offense. He has a lot of talent around him. Daniel Jones has no one around him at this point. So I haven't seen anything from Daniel Jones that makes me be like,

oh, that guy is good. Besides like he looks good when he's walking into the locker room. But that that could be what about Monday night that that 19 play drive that he had, of course, the interception was horrendous. But that was an awesome drive against a really good Steelers one one drive. Yeah. But I mean, that's a bit. That's that's one of the best defense in the league. I don't know. I still think that Daniel Jones, they say or I think Daniel

Jones does not. He has no one around him. I'm not saying he's like incredible, but I absolutely think if you're a Giants fan, he's he. All right. Daniel Jones is a guy who you will. You will give him his fifth year option. I think it's too early to say that. I would. I mean, I think he will be that guy.

Like, I don't think he's going to be a guy after four years and like, go ahead, get out of here. Well, yeah. I mean, the Giants won't because the Giants, they're right. No, but I don't think most teams. I like Daniel Jones. I do. All right. So that. Yeah. I mean, the Bears play the Falcons next week. We'll see what happens there.

But good match, bad match, whatever. Two and those two and all. Speaking of Falcons, let's talk about that game. So this was a doozy. This was a doozy because there's so one team started the game, three and out, fumble, fumble, failed, fake punt, fumble. And that team won the game. The Falcons.

This is the most Falcons stat of all time. And I really do feel bad because Falcons fans. I don't even know how you can just like, do you even Falcons fans? I would assume just wake up tomorrow and they just sigh. And then the Charlie Brown, like the sad trombone, the boom, boom, boom. They just have just falls around all day. They have miserable falls. It's like a little cloud is a bad season for them.

Yeah. If you're a Falcons fan, you should get like a like a vest that you can wear to work on Monday. Like when you see a service dog says, do not pet. Like when it says Falcons fan, do not approach, do not make small talk with breaking news. The Giants, St. Juan Barclay just deleted every Giants post from his Instagram. What? This league. What? Is he blaming the Giants for getting hurt?

The Giants are a mess. They're terrible and they're a mess. And this is going to go bad for Joe Judge very quickly, because you can't be the hard ass coach and have things be a mess. Bad weekend to be a judge. He didn't just delete Giants pictures. He deleted everything except for one picture. OK. Maybe it's like a press start.

Including Giants pictures. Including Giants. OK. So the headline stands. He he deleted everything that had anything to do with the New York Giants from his Instagram. Yes. All right. So back to the Falcons Cowboys game, which was insane, probably game of the day in terms of entertainment. So here's the stat.

This is Falcons fans trigger warning. The Falcons had 39 points and zero turnovers. Teams are 400 and 40, 440 and zero with 39 points and zero turnovers. And that's since 1933, which goes all the way back to when they started tracking turnovers in the history of football. Before they didn't track turnovers before 1933. So from 1933 until today, teams have scored at least 39 points

and have zero turnovers, 440 times. They won the game, zero times they lost. And the Atlanta Falcons are now the singular loser in that scenario. Congratulations. I mean, it's a very falcon stat. And the way that they lost this game, you're right, they did everything perfectly. Like they did a lot of stuff really well. But the stuff that they screwed up on was the weirdest part of the game. So they screwed up on that.

There was like a 50 yard touchdown pass to Julio Jones from a wide receiver. Yes, who threw a dime and Julio dropped it. And then the onsides kick and when they put the ball down, Bubba asked me, he's like, have you ever seen an onsite kick get recovered when they do the thing where they kick it from its side? It was like, no, it never happens. Never. It never happens. And then just kind of trickled forward, trickled forward.

It was like a snake charmer. Everyone was just standing around like, what do we do? It looked like the field was going downhill. It was crazy. It was crazy, crazy, crazy. That must have really fucked with Skip Bayless, knowing that there were like these weird kicks that just happened to bounce the Cowboys way, not only on that onsite kick, but then on the field goal that was hit to win the game.

It was a classic Mason crossbar that started to the left and then the mysterious gust or a Chris Christie fart or whatever blew it back dead center. So Skip Bayless, the stadium giveth and it taketh away. Twenty nine to ten and a half up 15 with five minutes left. The Falcons have found a new low. Like that is just absolutely incredible that they lost this game and found a way to lose this game when the Cowboys couldn't stop shit.

Like the Cowboys defense is a dumpster fire. Their offensive lines hurt. Dak was incredible in the second half, but holy shit, man, like, how do you lose that game? How does Dan Quinn have a job? And you know what really pisses me off is so I wanted the Cowboys to win because I had the can't lose parlay. But I also wanted the Cowboys to lose

because I really wanted to do a rant about how Mike McCarthy, people forget Mike McCarthy spent an entire offseason telling everyone that he got a subscription to pro football focus. And then in his introductory press conference, it was like just kidding. I'm lying about all that. I just want another job. I don't do stats. I didn't change anything about how dumb I am. I'm going to show you how little I do stats.

I'm going to run this fake punt on my own 20 yard line. They said this whole week had a lot of really shitty fake punts, not only in terms of circumstance when they're running it, but also like the designs of the. Yes, it was a lot of just snap it to the up back and have him fall forward and try not to kill himself. Yes, that was that was basically what he did. And also McCarthy, a lot of people, they lose their jobs. They need to reinvent themselves in their next career.

And a big part of that process is they take some time to exercise, get in shape. No, Mike McCarthy got fatter. Yeah, that's his that's his Wisconsin revenge body that he's got going on. It's so you robbed me of that, Mike McCarthy, the fact that the Cowboys are now one in one in an NFC East that looks like that I feel like this has happened in the last few years. We say this every year, but the NFC East, I think you might be able to win it with seven games.

Washington football team still tied. Seven wins might get you to NFC. That's really pissed me off is because I did not think that Washington was necessarily going to win against the Cardinals today. But I just wanted that moment where I would know that no matter how badly we lost to the Cardinals, we were still going to be in sole possession of first place. Now we're tied with the Cowboys, which I guess that's OK. But we talked about this game going into the weekend.

This was going to be the battle of which team is the Cowboys and which team is the Falcons, because they're so similar. It turns out that the Falcons are still the Falcons. They asserted their Falcons dominance on this game. Yes, they put up a they planted their flag into that into the Michael Vick Deion Sanders style black helmet and said, we are the Falcons. They are just and you cannot take our Falcons. They found a stat since 1933. Yeah, they're the first team to do this.

It's insane how they find ways to lose. The Falcons are the Falcons. And the Cowboys are going to be hilarious this year, because the Cowboys. I love this version of the Cowboys. I love my Cowboys to be just flashy enough that everyone buys into it, including myself, but so many holes that they're just going to have terrible prime time loss after terrible prime time. Yeah, like that is that is Jerry Jones wants to think his legacy is the 90s.

No, Jerry Jones, this is your legacy. Your legacy is your Cowboys just have enough sizzle to just get everyone in love with the team and being like, oh, the Cowboys are back only to fall flat on your face whenever you have a big time game. I think Jerry Jones wants to pay DAC money. I think he wants to pay him all the money in the world. I think he doesn't want to leave a single cent that he doesn't have to to his son. I think that Jerry is like for every touchdown pass or run.

Stevens been stealing. Yeah, definitely like he's like I feel like Jerry Jones doesn't exactly keep like a watchful eye on his bank account. He probably has a bunch of cash just underneath his map in the walls. Yeah, just yeah. When you bulldoze that house, it's just going to be like a cash grab machine. But he wants to give as much of his money as possible to DAC Prescott, which is why you saw him like he was flipping out when DAC scored touchdowns

today. He's like, yes, this is more money that I don't have to leave to my shithead son. And DAC was awesome. That is awesome. That should probably be paid. Pay DAC. We'll see. Also, Andy Dalton, we saw Andy Dalton for a play. That's when the game turned around. And he don't game in there. He also, I think he called his own play because there's no possible

explanation when they were I think it was second in goal. That gets knocked out of the game for a play and Andy Dalton threw a pass or had a pass play called for him, which I can't imagine they were like, yeah, let's do it. Let's have a pass play here for Andy Dalton. Yeah, let's give the keys to this offense to Andy Dalton to really unlock things. I think Andy probably he's got one of those escalators of contracts right for his touchdowns. Pass attempts. Pass attempts. Yeah. One completion.

Yeah. How many incompletions? If you can limit it to under two incompletions on the year, then you're golden. One single pass attempt. Either way, that was an awesome game. Awesome, awesome game. And the Cowboys, they're not good. The Falcons, the Bears have to play the Falcons next week. I feel like I feel like I fell back in love with the Falcons, even in a loss with just how good their offense is.

They scored so many points. They're so far. And Julio Jones didn't even have that good of a game. I think he only had like 30 yards. That one really was awesome. That one should have been a touchdown. Yeah. Cal, we got to actually ask, who's the who's the 1A? Who's man's? Who's the 1A on the Falcons?

Who's Batman? Who's Robin? Yeah, who is who's wide receiver one at this point? I would say wide receiver one on the Falcons is actually the one that puts up the more disappointing game. Whoever throws the pass that doesn't get completed on the big play. Do you think that it's it's different to try to catch a 50 yard bomb from your wide receiver, as opposed to catching one from Matt Ryan? Probably, probably.

Yeah, it's like over thinking it. Different spin rate, maybe. Yeah, they're overthinking it. But Dan Quinn, God love you. I think Dan Quinn actually, if Dan Quinn cries enough, he might be able to keep his job still. I don't think that you can fire Dan Quinn after a game like this or like multiple games like this, because you look at the scoreboard

and you're like, well, we scored 39 points. Yeah. And we had no turnovers. Yeah, you can. Which I mean, that's got to be pretty good stat. Yeah, you can't fire a coach. He put them in a position to win. Yeah. All right. Next up, we have Colts Vikings. The Vikings suck.

I would like to say I'm going to done chain the Vikings again after week two. They're totally done. Vikings are done. Well, not only are they done, but Kirk Cousins had a very uncurc cousins like game. Oh, yeah. He was horrendous. He should have thrown two touchdowns in the fourth quarter in garbage time just to make this a true Kirk Cousins game.

But they are stinky. They're stinky trash. I'm done chaining them right now. I'll what am I going to do if the Vikings if the Vikings win the Super Bowl? I'll get Creed lyrics tattooed on my body. There you go. I'm still waiting for my pinkie team. I got to go week three week three. I'll come up with a week.

Two is like that's I think that's my annual tradition. I'm just going to pencil in the Vikings every single year. Week two. They haven't never won a Super Bowl, but they they're bad. They're very bad. They had a safety in back to back weeks, which is kind of cool because I always like how it like throws off the whole score of the game when you get a two pointer in there.

It fucks everything up. Yeah. But it's impossible to celebrate a safety in a masculine way because you the guys on defense end up doing the safety sign. Oh, I think it's all in the hips. If you little hip wiggle with it, it's kind of sexy. Yeah. Well, you really do need to throw the lower body into it because just going like that. Yeah. That's not cool. And I actually think that a safety should be worth five points.

Two points is not enough for safety. It's hard to do. It's it's a change of momentum type play. They should it should be five points and then you also get the ball. I so I'm not into five points, but I would like a change in the safety rule where forward progress doesn't count because that's the most disappointing thing when a guy runs out of the end zone and barely gets the ball out of the end zone and then gets fucking demolish 10 yards deep in the end zone.

That should be a safe. I would say that if any part of your body throw the ball out of the equation, if any part of your body gets tackled and lands in the painted part of the end zone, that's a safety. Yes. Yes. Dan Orlowski is shuddering right now about this conversation. So the Vikings suck. Kirk Cousins was horrendous and the Colts, I don't know, the Colts are. I mean, Jonathan Taylor is good.

Divorce Buckner was an unbelievable trade for them. The Colts are back to being dark horse. Colts are going to say they're dark horse again. They could be a dark horse right now. Yeah, I think that this was a classic game where the Vikings were worse than they looked in week one and the Colts were better than they would look. Yeah. And this also was our official first week. We had our first first official red zone game that we forgot was happening.

Yes. Red zone did not go to this game for a solid hour. And then it would and then it would flip through it. And it was like, oh, the Vikings did something stupid. Or the Phil Rivers through an incomplete. Phil Rivers wasn't bad today. Yeah, he was. His interception wasn't even his fault. He did have that hilarious one where they did the one time they gave him red

zone shine, Phil Rivers threw the ball and it hit the crossbar in the red zone. Yeah, I think I don't even think it was a crossbar. It might have been an upright that he dunked it off of. Yeah, yeah, that was funny. That was very funny. It was like he was passing to Antonio Gates again. Yeah. So Colts back. So narrative alert Colts back into the dark horse. Yeah, because AFC South's wide open.

Well, not really good. But still there, the Colts are back into being a dark horse team. Colts are good. I think they're officially they're officially good. I'm not ready to say that they're better than Titans, but I think that they're right up there. And the Vikings and the Lions suck trash, stink trash. All right, before we could do our next game, a quick word from our sponsor,

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So thank you to Hooters, our wonderful sponsor. All right, Dolphins 28 or sorry, Dolphins 31. Sorry, Dolphins 28, Bill's 31. All you Josh Allen haters out there suck our fucking dicks. We called it. This is this guy is so good. He last week, he had his first 300 yard game. This week, he had his first 400 yard game.

Actually, I forgot to mention that the going back to the Vikings real quick because it relates to the bills. The Vikings had the mini DeAndre Hopkins things going on where why did you trade Stefan Diggs? Diggs is like you look so much different as an offense without Stefan Diggs and the bills look so much different with Stefan Diggs because it's the perfect receiver for Josh Allen's rocket arm. So all you haters, they're getting silent. They're starting to get a little silent.

I'm sure some nerd will fucking rank Josh Allen as like the worst quarterback because he he threw a pass that was completed for a touchdown, but he threw it kind of a little higher launch angle was. Yeah, right. It wasn't catchable. It was a 50 percent catchable pass, not 100 percent catchable. But fuck you, haters. Josh Allen's awesome.

Here's my stat for Josh Allen today. He kicks ass. He kicked ass and he didn't stop kicking ass. And you want to talk about like getting the keys to the offense? Uh huh. I think we need to say the bills have officially turned over their offense to Josh Allen. He was throwing the ball in third down.

He's throwing the ball in second down. He's on the ball in first down. Truck sticking people. Yeah. And a play is never over when Josh Allen is running with the ball. And when I mean never over, he will run over like three or four people and then he'll fumble the ball out of bounds when he gets hit. Like at the end of it.

Yeah, the play is not over until the whistle is blown because he's equally parts liable to do something really cool, equally parts liable to like try to ladder it to his full back. Yes. So yeah, Josh Allen was awesome today. And I think that the haters are fuckheads and they can suck our dicks. Yeah. Yeah.

So suck it like literally suck it. I made a note during this game. Like I'm going to write Josh Allen on my dick and you suck it. Keep sucking it right now. I made a note during the game that Cole Beasley always has something fucked up with his uniform after a play. His chin strap usually is fucked up. The chin strap, the helmet goes sideways.

He gets like a sock that gets pulled down. He's the kid who has the when he has a popsicle, he's just wearing it for the rest of the day on his lips. Oh, yeah, like Kool-Aid lips. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah, Kool-Aid lip kid was a scene. He is the Kool-Aid lip kid listening right now.

Dude, you deserve the ridicule. Yeah. Just fucking eat a popsicle and don't make a mess of it. And I don't know what's going on with his with his facial hair every single week, but it's different every day. He can grow like an entire full chin strap. Yes. Of five days.

He's the Steve Belichick of West Welkers. Just like a little, a little janky. Yeah, but also like when he gets the ball in the open field, he's sick. Yes, we have Hank Yons, by the way, going on. Hank Yons are what? Yeah, I know, but no, but they could probably turn your mic. They're that loud next time. They're that loud.

I want the people to share. No, they're that loud that you can you can hear it. Also, in the Bill's Dolphins game, there was a lightning break. But before that, people were mad the last time I on. Yeah, but I'll do it if you want me to. Yeah, just do it once. You don't have to do it the whole time. But there was a lightning break.

But before the lightning break, they had just lightning interference with the TV signal. So there was a good, like 10 minutes of that game that we're going to watch. Anything could have happened during that game. We don't know how much Josh Allen, Josh Allen through during that time period. We couldn't see it. God, no interceptions so far for Josh Allen this year. Yeah, I had a couple fumbles week one, but I don't care.

The Josh Allen haters can suck our dicks and he is awesome. Josh Allen for MVP. Get it. Get the people talking about it. Honestly, I'll accept an apology from anyone at this point. I don't care because you're missing out like you were missing out on the fun. So I will if anyone out there right now who was staunchly Josh Allen's a bust, Josh Allen sucks, Josh Allen isn't good. If you say if you you got a tweet part of my take myself and PFT and Josh Allen

say, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Josh Allen is good. Please don't make me suck your dick. Then you are now in the Josh Allen thing. I'll consider not letting you suck my dick. Right. That I will send that tweet tomorrow. I'm making no promise and we'll let you enjoy the fun that is Josh Allen.

Because guess what? It's fucking fun. Yeah, we're offering Josh Allen buybacks when they do a jersey buyback program. Yes. If you had bad Josh Allen takes, you can bring them to us and we will give you a full refund on your shitty draft take. Yes. And all you have to do is just apologize.

Yeah, it's a gun swap. Yeah, exactly. Come on in. No questions asked. Yeah, you drop off your gun. We're not going to say what happened, who you shot, whatever happened. Just give us your gun. Get that gun off.

Get the bad Josh Allen takes off the streets. OK, there was a yawn. There was a yawn. That was good. That sounded like that sounded like Brony Jr. hitting the split. Yeah, we just we don't want we don't want Josh Allen takes to be out there harming any innocent people.

Exactly. We can't have that anymore. So come trade it in. No questions asked. Also, Dolphins, just start to. Yeah, just fucking play to a man like Fitzpatrick is he's Fitzpatrick. What are we doing? What are we doing?

Every time we see him out there, we're just like, this should be to a night. I really I don't. I want Fitzpatrick. There's a night would be a lot more fun. It would be. I want Fitzpatrick to stay in the league as long as possible. But I want him as the backup. I want him to come in when the starter gets hurt or the starter misses a game.

And it's like Fitz magic. Yeah, Fitz Fitzpatrick is the day one starter. It doesn't feel the same. It's more just sad. Yeah, surprise Fitzpatrick is the best. Right. When when they cut to it in the middle of the red zone and they're like, hey, guess what, we have an injury.

Look, who's in? That's right. In his 17th season, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick from Harvard. Right. And yeah, he's a guy that could hang out for another couple of years. I hear he's really good at ping pong. So he keeps the guys in the locker room. Nice cube.

Very good at Rubik's Cube. Brian Flores, he might be doing the old. I'm going to hang on to this rookie quarterback for a year. So we're going into next year. You have to give me a full season under Tua. And then he gets good at the second half of the season. Then he can't fire him then because, listen, we're gaining some momentum with Tua here. That's three years.

So he's Brian Flores on a three year plan right now. He's no dummy. Yeah, you're really smart, Brian Flores. That is really smart. But I want to, I want to. All right, 49ers, Jets. So I guess there's some turf controversy. Did you see this? Yes. Yes.

Some MetLife turf controversy. The turf is sticky. Apparently that's the turf is sticky. We've seen multiple knee injuries. We had one week one with the Steelers offensive linemen. And thank God, big bend didn't get hurt. We had, well, I would have liked bigger than been part five. But Joey Bosa gets hurt.

I think he might be out for the year. Fucking sucks. Garoppolo got hurt. Who else got hurt? What's his name? Solomon Thomas got hurt. Yeah. Oh. Guy drafted right after Mr. Biscay, the 49ers.

One of the guys down. Stanford, he was he balled out in that holiday bowl against Mr. Biscay. I remember that. Jordan Reed, somehow perfectly healthy. No more. Just stop. Just stop. I'd like to make a rule for Jordan Reed.

You guys asked for it for the record. Yeah, no, PFT did. I did not. The Jordan, I said, do one also on the record for the record. When Jordan Reed scores his touchdown, there needs to be a rule telling all of his teammates, do not go up to him and pat him on the head or do headbutts to him. Because he scored a touchdown today, which is great to see. He's working on like a baker's dozen amount of concussions for his career.

Yes. And then all of his teammates, one by one, came up and gave him a headbutt afterwards. Yes. I was it was like watching Teddy Bridgewater take a hit or slide. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. But yeah, he survived the turf monster in New York. I in the 49ers have to play there again next week. Do you think it's do you think it's all the cat piss on the field? You think stop yawning?

I think I think it's a cat piss in MetLife because they've got all those strays running around. It's no. So it is new turf. So it's brand new turf. That's what the controversy is about. That's they installed it this year and since it's new, that makes the cats want to piss on it even more. I mean, this is bad.

So the 49er, I wouldn't be shocked if they have to do something because the 49ers sounded like they don't even want to play. On the turf, the Jets, the Jets. Now, the Jets are in the running for worst team in the league. I think it's pretty much now. I actually wouldn't put the Giants in that in their running. I think it's the Lions and the Jets, right? I was in. I would put the Giants in the running, too.

I think the Giants are just frisky enough that they're not like the Jets gave up a third and 31. Run play, they gave up a run play that converted a third and 31. They actually went for 55 yards. The Jets that this game looks a lot like doesn't even look close. Thirty one, sixteen or no, thirty one, thirteen. The Jets scored a touchdown with a minute and a half left to make that thirteen. So it was really thirty one to six.

The Jets are really, really, really, really bad. Yeah. At one point, they were down by twenty one points. I think there's late in the third quarter and Adam Gates kicked a sad field goal of the week. Yeah. So that was I actually wrote that down down twenty four, three, fourth, fourth and goal on the seven. Kicked a field goal. That right there tells you that's like the death rattle for a coach.

That's the Pat Shermer when he's punting for the box score. That's a box score move. That's not a football winning move. That's a I don't. I just want to put up a few points so that when I'm going to look for another job, I don't like at least it doesn't fuck up my average too bad. So here's how bad Adam Gates is as a head coach. I don't think I've ever seen him smile as a head coach.

He's never. I don't think he's ever been happy as a two time head coach. Even even a new time. If they like squeak out a game thirteen to ten against the Dolphins, you never see Adam Gates enjoying his job. I don't think he likes being a head coach. No, I don't think he's good at being a head coach. I don't think that anyone likes seeing Adam Gates coaching their favorite football team. So it begs the question like why?

Why is Adam Gates doing this himself? He's got money. Just stop coaching. You hate it. Pride. I don't know. No, he definitely doesn't have any pride. He coaches the Jets. Yeah. No, I mean, it's it's a disaster. It's an absolute disaster.

I want to go back, Jake Marsh, here's a project for you this week. I want you to go back and find all the times that Adam Gates was called an offensive genius. Throughout like the last 10 years, because I just want to laugh at it. Like this is I bet you it's a lot. That's how stupid we are in like the media, fans, everything. And we've called this guy an offensive genius. It was like after that, that one game we're paid manning through seven touchdowns.

Yeah. Like this is Adam Gates. Do you think that a guy like Adam Gates, I was thinking about this, like, what would I do if I was in Adam Gates's shoes right now? And I think this kind of explains how we get to Adam Gates having his team prepared so poorly. If I were in his shoes, I'd be like, I'm kind of just going to give up and hope we get a miracle on something like hope for some reason. I'm going to call the same place.

I know they don't work, but maybe just maybe they will this time. And that's how you end up with Adam Gates. If I were Adam Gates, I would pull a full Tony Spirano and say, let's get weird with the offense. Yeah, all the crazy shit that you've ever drawn up and had somebody say, no, that's too dumb. It will never work. Let's run all of those plays.

Let's let's go Wildcat have Levy on bell, touch the ball every single time. Just have Sam Donald take off his mask or take off his helmet. Try to kiss people. Yeah, there you go. Try to give him a moment away. Split Sam Donald out wide. Have him do the play where you get down on like a knee and start barking like a dog, hope the defense looks over and then just throw the ball

to the opposite side of the field or or install sticky turf and then just injure the entire team until they have no impact players left and try to win the game that way. That that might be exactly what he's doing right now. Huh, interesting. We're going to say you are yawning your face off. Yes, I mean, it's one o'clock in the morning. Yon's happened.

I'd like to quickly note that we've been in New York for like four years and they have two major sports teams for every sport, and none of them are ever good. That's that's a fact. Yankees Islanders. What the vision of the playoffs Islanders made to the Eastern Conference finals. Devils. Devils still exist. Yeah, the devils are still around.

It's just it's just just a quick note. You need two teams. The Liberty, the trash. The Liberty. What's their tennis team, Jake? They've got a good tennis team. The new try to make professional tennis. That was the dumbest idea in New York football.

You know, let's take a really important sport and then just make it a team and then just hope people will watch it. Just a quick little note. I just wanted to throw in there. Good note. Good note. That was a Hank note. All right. Next up Rams Eagles. Wait, one more thing with 49 is Jets game.

How many times did we need to see the replay of that most touchdown run today? That that was on the Red Zone Channel. I think nine times. Well, what happens is so you get you get a replay inception. So what happens is they get like one or two big plays that they just run on loop on the Fox. Yeah. And then on Red Zone, we'll be watching a game and they'll be running the replay on the local.

So then we're seeing it on Red Zone, but Red Zone's not running. But it's never happened that many times in a game where we had to see it. Like every other game we jumped in on Red Zone while they were doing a look in at what happened in the first quarter of the Jets Niners game. It was and then I love when Scott Hansen sees those come up and he's like, we already saw this play on Red Zone. Disgusted, disgusted.

All right. Rams Eagles Rams 37 Eagles 19. Eagles might just be bad and. No offense, Eagles fans, but Carson Wentz might just be bad. And I know he probably did a press conference because Carson Wentz might be the king of press conferences where he says, I got to get better. He's always got to get better. He's very good at facing the music.

Yeah. I. Hey, listen, this one's on me. I got to get better. And then next week comes out and he's worse. And week one, you could you could kind of understand it because he had no offensive line and the Redskins have an incredible front for Washington football team. Sorry, Boston football team shit. This week, they did a pretty good job protecting him.

He just misses guys. He just wrote. We had that game on. Like the regular we watch that entire game. He just misses guys and throws interceptions and kind of just isn't good right now. He's stunk. He's stunk today. It's time to push the panic button if you're the Eagles. It's got to be better. Got to be better.

It's got to be better. And you know what? He'll be the first to tell you that it starts with him up front. So you love to see accountability and a leader like that. If you suck, don't tell everybody that you're good. Jalen Hurts. He was. Did he ever get in? He did. They showed him.

They used him as a decoy. I don't know what kind of decoy they thought they were using. They split him out wide. Didn't really have him run many routes whatsoever. I don't think he ever threw a pass or got. He never took a snap. He just was there.

But he was on the field showed up. He was on the field. He was delivering plays out to Carson Wentz during the game. That was such a. I mean, there's and their defense. That's the thing, too, is like, I don't want to put it all on Carson. Once their defense was not good and give credit to the Rams.

I think the Rams are kind of we're getting the Rams from two years ago, like they got their mojo back. Sean McBae's got his mojo back. Jared Goff's got his mojo back. Probably all because of Cooper cup. Like I love what I love when it's one guy. Yeah, like if the straw serves a drink. I'm obviously being a little facetious,

but Cooper cup got hurt last year and their offense kind of fell apart. And then he's back this year and they're like, Oh, the Rams are back. I can't wait to see the breakdowns. They have to have another Sunday football game coming up at some point where they show the release that Jared Goff has

and then compare it to what he had last year. He fixed it. They're really big on that. Jared Goff has fixed his release and he's throwing mechanics split second faster, split second faster. And they do the like tracer that follows the ball down and then straight up.

He was awesome. Yes. His release looks good this year. You guys like Ryan Tannehill throws a very tall ball. Yeah. Jared Goff also throws an extremely tall ball. I'm like, listen, I don't want to go around parading, you know, this podcast too much,

but our guys are starting to fucking look good. Yeah. Josh Allen, really good. Jared Goff, really good. Jared Goff was really good this game. Garderman Chu, fun. Really fun. Who else is about it?

Who else? Mahomes. Mahomes? Look, actually the worst of the three. Yeah, we'll get to Mahomes. Yeah, Mahomes stinks compared to Jared Goff and Josh Allen. Yeah, I don't know what. Wait, what injury?

I just want to know for the record, what injury are we blaming this loss on for the Eagles? We have to be on the same page. I think I'm going to hurt. So the Eagles are my problem with the Eagles are is that if you win a Super Bowl this decade, I just kind of assume you're still that team for that decade.

Like it's kind of like when we talk about the Seahawks defense, like the Seahawks don't have a good defense anymore. No, Legion of Boom. Right. Like, oh man, they got guys out there. They should bring back that guy that they kicked out for having sex during training camp. Yes, they absolutely should.

The Eagles are similar where I can't accept that the Eagles might just suck, but I think they suck. But I won't be able to. My brain can't work fast enough to really like the Eagles could just keep losing games like today. Like, no, but Carson Wentz, they still got Carson Wentz. Doug Peters is a great coach. Yeah, as long as like those two are the same.

And then the year after they won the Super Bowl, they still made it back to the playoffs. So their Super Bowl hangover wasn't even that bad of a hangover. So it is still this Jim Schwartz is still around. Jim Schwartz is nipples still popping. And Eagles fans, the Super Bowl gravy period, the grace period is over. Because they, we were around a bunch of them today.

They are motherfucking their team. And I actually am like, good, you're back. Because I looked at Smitty, who, you know, I've known Smitty for a decade now, and he was fucking screaming at the Eagles. I was like, Smitty, you guys won a Super Bowl like three years ago, I said, I don't give a fuck. These guys suck right now.

I was like, OK, good. Philly's got Philly back. They've accepted it. Yeah, I like that. I don't want my Philly to be happy. Yeah. I want my Philly to have that edge. There's no better way to make Philadelphians realize

that their team's not good. Then it's really one of two losses. If you lose to the Dallas Cowboys, that's one great way of like that will throw the entire city into a panic. Or if you lose to the worst team, one of the worst teams in the league that people thought coming into this year in Washington,

week one. But really, we need to wait until they play against the Cowboys because if they lose that game, at that point, they will be calling for Doug Peterson to be fired. Yes, absolutely. All right, next game, we have Bronco Steelers. True Lock got hurt. I think he's out for a few weeks.

I saw the Shepter tweet. Can you actually play the Fox injury music underneath this? These tweets piss me off so much, PFT, because everyone got hurt today. This is the Everyone Got Hurt Day. Shepter tweeted, today, Nick Bosa carted off with bad knee injury. Saquon Barkley carried off with knee injury.

Paris Campbell carted off with knee injury. True Lock in locker room with shoulder injury. Man, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, damn. Adam's new to the NFL. Shepter, yeah. That really hits home, dude. Every year, I feel like has one week like this where the injuries, people remember, oh yeah,

football is actually pretty dangerous for to play sometimes. But it's also so funny to just that tweet, you're not breaking any news, you're just looking for retweets based solely off of guys getting injured. That's true, man. Look at how much I feel for these guys.

I took at least 25 seconds out of my day to craft this tweet. Well, because he doesn't get to break injury news. Yeah, that's true. So he has to, yeah, he doesn't get to do that anymore. Yeah, he's a felon. Yeah, he took away his, like, when you lose your right to vote or own weapons.

Adam Shepter's not allowed to come anywhere close to injury news right now. He has to give it like a 30 minute grace period before he can comment on it to make sure that it's all square with legal. Yes. But yeah, Drew Lock, that sucks that he's hurt. But the funny thing is, I could see John L. Way

falling in love with Jeff Driscoll. Oh yeah. That is prime. Like, Jeff Driscoll is Drew Lock without any of the flash. So that's perfect for John L. Way. He could talk himself into giving him the start once Drew Lock gets healthy. Also, Jeff Driscoll has a big ass booty

since we're booty guys. Yeah. Have you ever seen the picture where it looked like he was wearing a thong at Florida? I have not seen that, no. Oh my God, it's ridiculous. He had a thong ass. Like, he's wearing a thong.

That is a thong, yeah. I remember that. Jeff Driscoll's thong. For a second, I thought he was the guy that shit himself. We don't kink shame. No, it's fine. But Jeff Driscoll wears a thong while he's playing football.

Just never, a good rule of thumb is never draft a Florida quarterback. Yeah, look, that's a thong. Yeah, he's got the thumpers hanging out. Jeff Driscoll's a thong wearer on the football field. How is it possible that Florida never has a good quarterback though? Ever.

Who was the last good quarterback that they had? In the NFL, Rex Grossman. Yeah. Cam Newton, we could count Cam. Yeah. Tebow. Tebow won a playoff game. Tebow.

People forget that he won a playoff game. I still can't, I mean, he wears a thong. It's crazy. He wears a fucking thong while he plays football. Do we have any pictures of him in the Broncos uniform? No, but he's probably wearing a thong too. I just don't get it. How do you do it?

The SEC message boards just like dudes in fucking Alabama and like South Carolina and Mississippi, they go to bed at night and they get down on their knees. They pray to God and they're like, please let one of my rivals quarterbacks wear a, get caught wearing a thong while playing football. Just so I can escape this reality for a minute on the message board and have a day.

I guarantee you Steve Spurrier wore a thong while coaching and playing. Oh fuck. He golfs in the thong. So Steelers, I don't know, do we know if the Steelers are good? We don't know if the Steelers are good. Their defense is very good.

Their defense is awesome. Big Ben, I think is fully back to being Big Ben. He had one of those boneheaded interceptions where you can tell on a play when Big Ben starts to think, that's when everything goes awry. Big Ben does his best work when he's just, he's naturally reacting to things. They're like, when a chicken gets their head cut off

and their body still keeps going, that's if you can figure out a way to shut down Ben's brain during a play, then you're going to have the best version of Big Ben. But he had one where he had a little too much time to think and he was like, I guess he got rid of it and like threw it across his body, lobbed it up in the field, got easily picked off.

But I think Big Ben is fully back to being Big Ben. Yes, I agree. He also got assaulted when he just flopped. It was so funny. Yeah. The only other thing I wrote down for this game, we don't talk enough about Bud Dupri being a great football player and also having an unbelievable name.

Like Bud Dupri is an unbelievable name. That's a guy, Bud Dupri is Paul Bunyan's best friend. Bud Dupri, yeah, drives around in a Ford and is like the best shot this side of the Mississippi. I was going to say, it sounds like Bud Dupri could get you a great deal on any pre-used Toyota. Maybe no, a pre-used Chevy guy. Yeah.

He's a pre-used Chevy, really a truck man. Bud Dupri is a song like Johnny Cash writes a song about Bud Dupri, the toughest man he ever knew. Like we don't talk enough about how great of a name that is. He's going to get paid soon, by the way. He's fucking awesome, but Bud Dupri, we just, the world needs to say more often like Bud Dupri. There's a football player that's awesome at football

named Bud Dupri. Come on down to Bud Dupri's pre-owned boat and F-150 and pour him free trailer hitches and install it on Sundays. Bud Dupri, there's five of us sitting in this room right now. Billy's not here. There's five of us sitting in this room right now. Bud Dupri has more like machismo just in his name

than all five of us. If we oaky cookie'd something and be like, here you go. This is all our testosterone, no Bud Dupri. Yeah, he makes Tom sound like a bitch. Yeah, right. Bud Dupri would bitch slap, is Tom Selick still on? For the purposes of this podcast? Yes.

Okay, but Bud Dupri would bitch slap Tom Selick and Tom Selick would say, thank you, sir. It has been an honor to get bitch slapped by you, Bud Dupri. Bud Dupri's pubes are the Tom Selick mustache of pubes. Yes, exactly. So Bud Dupri, we might become a Bud Dupri podcast. It's fun to say. Yeah, right, isn't it?

Bud Dupri, just great. Like, shout out Bud Dupri's parents who were like, we have a last name Dupri. Let's name him Bud. I wonder if that's probably not his given name. I mean, if it is, that would be, that would take this over the top. Let's see.

Bud Dupri, Alvin. Ah, anybody could be better. The fact this name's Alvin, but his name's Bud. Alvin Dupri, whatever. Bud Dupri, let's go. And he's a junior too. PFT, you wanna do the ad real quick? Wanna do three cheats?

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I promise you that. All right, I had to stand up because my back's gonna fucking die. All right, bucks 31, panthers 17, what? Like these chairs are a fucking joke. I don't know what we bought. Yeah, my back feels fine. What are these chairs?

They're terrible for your posture, but they're great for chillaxing to cage you. I'm just slunk, and I've been eating like shit. I'm just laid back right now. I'm just nice and relaxed on a Sunday night. It's just football times, football season. You know, when you're just like, today, part of my walk that I was talking about

at the start of the show, I was just trying to inhale as much fresh air as possible, knowing that I'm like a caged animal on Sundays. We should do our Philly shows from a dumpster. We should rent a dumpster, and then just go out in the street, fill it up with water. Yeah, yeah.

Panthers bucks. Panthers bucks. What I really love is that every single time that the Patriots lose, the Bucks win, or when the Bucks lose, the Patriots win. That way we can always, we can keep debating for the rest of eternity. Who won this off season?

I was mad because Rocillo came up with a great, just power rankings every week. One, two, Tom Brady Belichick. I'm sure he has, Tom Brady won Belichick two now this week. Yeah, that's how it's gotta be. Yeah, it's gotta be. So, but yeah, I, is Matt Rule have dumb face? His glasses are too big.

That's the thing. He has glasses of someone who's 60 pounds heavier than he is. I'm starting to think he's got dumb face because, well, there's something special happening this year where football coaches getting mad that choose to wear the visor are so funny because they lift the visor to scream at their team, which the optics of the visor,

I understand like they're trying to send the right message, but when you lift it and scream at someone, the visor is not, what's the point of wearing the visor? Right. And it also looks like a welder being like, tapping on a welder's shoulder is like, what, what? They lift up their visor like, would you say? But Matt Rule, I first thought of this when he went

for a fake punt on fourth and two. His other dumb, dumb fake punt on the 36 yard line. The 36 yard line. The only person he was faking out in that scenario was David Shaw, the coach at Stanford, because he saw a punt from the opponent's 36 and he was like, good move, dude, wanna play the field position.

That's the only person. There's no one else in the world who thought a NFL coach was punting from the opponent's 36 yard line and then Matt Rule did it and then he pulled up his visor to yell at his punter for fucking it up, even though it was Matt Rule's stupid decision, why don't you just keep your offense out there? And I said to myself, I think Matt Rule might be dumb.

Well, he definitely like has the look where his mouth is open more often than it's not. Yeah. So yeah, and when he yells, he spits into the clear visor that's in front of him. And so that's always a weird look when you get the spittle from the inside on it. Yes.

But yeah, Matt Rule, I'm not ready to say that he's dumb just yet. Might have dumb face. Why don't you, I'd like to see a coach try to fake a punt on like first or second down. If that's gonna be your offense, if you're saying that we're at the 36 yard line, we need what, two yards?

Yeah. And our best chance to get it is by having our punt team on the field to fake it. Why not just build the entire offense out of fake punts? That's what Adam Gage should do. I like that. Just a straight punt. Yeah, just get fucking weird with it, man.

Fuck everyone up. Leonard Farnette fits better in an offense where he doesn't fall down at the line of scrimmage. Yeah, he had a nice big run. Tom, I mean, I don't really know. I thought the top, I thought, because we, this is one of the games we had on. I thought Tom Brady looked good.

He's definitely not dead. Like people were trying to bury him after week one, but it's also a very weird fit at times in that offense. And you could tell it was like, there were moments where it worked and there was moments where it was clunky. I mean, I would imagine by week five, six, we can start grading.

By the way, just a heads up, the Bucks have like a super easy schedule coming up. So the Bucks are going to get some, wow, look at the Bucks. They're fucking awesome. I don't think, I'm gonna go look at it right now, I don't think they're getting like truly tested again for a while. So Tom Brady is going to get fat on some teams

and everyone's going to be singing the praises of the Bucks. And I just don't know. They play the Broncos next week, the Chargers, the Bears, I guess they have the Packers, which would be a good game. Raiders, Giants, like those, they're going to end up being six and one here, six, you know, five and two,

six and one, six and two, somewhere around there. So just get ready for that. And I just don't know if we're going to fully know what they are. I just, I miss Rob Gronkowski. Yeah. He's not stoked. He's not, he's totally not having a good time right now.

No, it's, yeah, it's sad. Did he catch a pass today? Let me see. He's kind of like, we have our own Rob Gronkowski who's doing school work and whatever. How much streaming do you think Billy did today, Hank? What do you think? Six to seven hours?

How many, how much video games did he play? Probably played a good amount. Yeah. Did he get out of the gulag? He's got to do school work though. Mike Evans is awesome, by the way. Rob Gronkowski, zero catches, one target. Not stoked at all.

We're not stoked. We're not stoked about that. Okay. Yeah, that's all I had for Panthers bucks. I don't know what to make of the Panthers. I feel like they might be one of the worst teams in the league now that they, depending on how bad Christian McCaffrey's hurt.

Oh yeah, wait. Shephardt didn't even put that in the tweet. He didn't include anything about Christian? Man, Christian McCaffrey hurt. Classic man. Man, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. All right. Cardinals versus your Washington football team.

I'm gonna throw a flag on something you said earlier. You did think they were gonna maybe win this game. You absolutely did. You did the bird alert. Yeah. You took them, you bet them plus seven. You thought, you thought that the Washington football team was actually a good football team.

I bet them plus seven and a half. Right, but you thought they're, they are the best football team in the NFL. I knew that I, Name another football team. I know when I, better than the Washington football team. When I get myself delusions of grandeur,

I know I watched you watch that game. You were excited for it. You thought they were a good football team. They are a good football team. They are the best football team in the league. Just by name, name alone. Ron Rivera quit on this team. That was sad in the first very,

he didn't use any of his timeouts. They were, it was a two score game if they stopped, which they did get to stop. Their defense is so good. I just don't, I don't think Dwayne Haskins. Like every time I watched Dwayne Haskins,

it feels like he's good whenever they're down and everything opens up a little bit and it gets a little easier. But in the beginning of games, she doesn't look good. So it doesn't matter how fast your defense line is. When you have a quarterback, that is at least half a second faster than all of them

in the 40 yard dash. Yes. Then it's just impossible. Like you can't, you can't get to them. You can't make them feel pressured because they wiggle out of it. There were times where it looked like,

it looked like the TV was glitching because Kyler Murray would be here and then half a second later, he'd go like behind a defender or his offense alignment and then he'd be like seven yards downfield. Right. You know what he's really good at doing? He's really good at wiggling.

Yes. He's the best wiggler in the NFL right now. He's also doing, he's also not like, I can't really describe it, but he'll sometimes scramble and he, when he's clear that he's not gonna get any yards out of it, he'll just slide and take like one yard.

So it looks like a bad play, but it's just him not taking negative yards, him not taking sacks. So I think he's starting to figure it out more. And I'm a believer in Kyler Murray. Deandre Hopkins still like Bill O'Brien, you're an idiot. You have the Browns next week.

Are you gonna sell yourself on that? Yeah, I think we got the Browns. Okay. I think we got the Browns. And then you're gonna get pasted by the Ravens. Yeah. And then the Rams. Burt alert.

Burt alert. The Rams. And the Rams. Probably get, yeah. You also thought that, cause your Burt alert was right week one, you're like, this might be a thing. Oh, yeah, it occurred to me.

I looked up their schedule and I saw them, they play every Burt team in the NFL besides the Falcons. So they might just be the Burt hunters. I don't know. You have to sell yourself on dumb things like that. I'm not blaming you. I just- If you know that the season's not gonna go anywhere,

you gotta have like little fun things that you figure out. The only reason I brought up was cause earlier in the show, you're like, yeah, I mean, they lost. We knew they were gonna lose. I was like, I don't know. I don't think you, I think you thought they were gonna win, which I agree. You have to sell yourself on something.

You do. It's a fan being a fan. I'm excited for the first time in years to watch Washington football. Cause their defense is awesome. So any glimpse that I get, I'm like, yeah, the defense is great. They got rid of Bruce Allen.

So there are all these reasons why they got Ron Rivera and Jack Del Rio. So I'm ready to be sucked in. I'm ready to be hurt again as Michael Scott would put it. No, that defense is good. And they're fun to watch. Chase Young's awesome, but I don't know. You gotta figure out the quarterbacks thing.

I also noticed that Kyler Murray, sometimes he just spins for fun. When he's in the open field, nobody's getting close to tackle. He does it. Like when you see a spectacularly graceful gazelle running in the open, across the open plane and just doing these dances that, you know, he's just doing for fun.

That's what Kyler Murray does when he's in the open field. Except he's got people chasing him. Yes. All right, next up, we have Chiefs Chargers. Okay, so Anthony Lynn, you're coaching losing football, dude. I don't know what that was. That was, the Chargers played their fucking balls off.

Justin Herbert was good. He made the one mistake that I think we all kind of were expecting and it cost them because you just can't make mistakes against Patrick Mahomes. But the Chargers defense made Patrick Mahomes look totally ordinary. Like he struggled all day. They had no rhythm on offense.

Their offensive line didn't look good. And then you get to the overtime, fourth and one. You have a quarterback who's been running the ball pretty well that day. He's a big dude and you punt and give it back to Patrick Mahomes who, again, their offense wasn't that good. They had to kick a 58 yard field goal.

They'd do it three times to win the game. But still, Anthony Lynn, you're coaching losing football. That was such a baffling thing to do to just give the ball back to Patrick Mahomes. The Chiefs found themselves in situations. I don't think I've ever seen the Chiefs more than once or twice in a game get to like third and six or third and seven. That just does not compute to me,

seeing that Chiefs offense on the field and then seeing those numbers next to it because it's like you should get, I'm used to seeing them get eight yards every first down at the minimum. But they were like scratching and clawing, getting these like five, six yard completions to Travis Kelsey in traffic in the middle of the field.

And yeah, the Chiefs didn't look like the Chiefs. Turns out maybe I don't know as much about the NFL as I thought that I did. I think I said the Chiefs were going to score 100 points. Well, this is going to sound crazy. This is going to sound slightly less than 100 points. This is going to sound crazy because it was, we're talking about the offense now,

but I really do believe that Tyrone Taylor starts that game, the Chiefs win by like 25. Yeah. Because Justin Herbert, he had two things going for him. One, he actually was taking shots. And two, we've talked about this before, but you have rookie quarterbacks, young quarterbacks, when they, when you can get it to that perfect level of

they're just dumb enough to not realize they're bad. And they're just like, I'm going to go out and play. So he like didn't fully realize the mistakes he might have been making. And if you can bottle that up, you can do something with that. And he was, he was running for some first downs. He took a couple of shots. He actually concussed that Chiefs defender,

the line got knocked out. He had several, welcome to the NFL Rook, Steven Shea moments of the day where he just like, was not used to getting hit that hard. And like you said, he's dumb enough to not know that that's not a bad thing yet or that that's a bad thing yet. So he's still like putting his body out there and taking shots, like trying to try to get like meaningless

couple of yards at the ends of plays sometimes. But yeah, the Chiefs, they didn't look like the Chiefs, but they won. They won ugly. I guess we've seen the Chiefs win every other type of football, except for ugly. And Andy Reed has a mask that doesn't get fogged anymore. The technology.

Yeah, the technology. No, it was NHL technology, meaning, I don't know, he probably rubbed it down with peanut oil or something like that inside. He soaked it up like scuba gear. He cleaned it. I have a stat for you. Justin Herbert was the first guy with a pass

and rush touchdown in the first half of the NFL debut since Bob Clutterbuck, 1954. I know when Bob Clutterbuck. You don't make names like that anymore. Bob Clutterbuck, well, Bud Dupri is close. Yeah, no, Bob Clutterbuck's more like a vacuum salesman. Yeah, but Bob Clutterbuck is that guy had a job. That guy had a job outside of football,

like, because the paycheck wasn't good enough. And he would just he was just a regular, like you lived next door to Bob Clutterbuck. Bud Dupri has fired Bob Clutterbuck no less than six times over the course of his career. He's a Bob Clutterbuck was just a dude who just lived. Like, oh, yeah, I lived next to Bob Clutterbuck, starter for the Giants.

Well, fortunately for the Chargers fans out there, Tarad's coming back next week as a starter. Anthony Lin said that after the game was over. Tarad is our starter, even though he I guess he heard his chest in pregame warm ups. Yeah, I don't sound kind of serious because he said that he went to the hospital, right? Oh, really?

Yeah, but he said that Tarad is going to be the starter next week, which is that is no one's ever gotten fired for starting Tarad Taylor. Well, Tarad, so he Anthony Lin's doing the smart thing of keeping his job by keeping Justin Herbert on ice. But it's the dumb thing of Justin Herbert showed that he's clearly capable of being in the NFL and playing. And why wouldn't you play him right away?

Tarad Taylor is a great lesson in life that like, if you're just a nice enough person, people won't really be ever very critical of you because I saw it written a few times today where they're like, Tarad Taylor, like really nice guy doesn't take a lot of shots down to he stinks. It's OK to say he stinks. We feel bad for him.

You know, he never really got the. He never he never kind of found his spot. He's a good backup. I'm sure he's a great teammate. He's not a good quarterback. He's not good starting quarterback. To me, it's a red flag when you say somebody as good as they are of a football player, an even better human.

So they're not that good of a football player at this point. If you're a starting quarterback, you should be a way better football player than you are. Yes, you should be a shitty human. Yes, you had a great quarterback. You pretty much have to have a Nobel Peace Prize to be a better human than you are quarterback. If you're if you're an NFL player.

So, yeah, maybe he just needs to start being an asshole. Yeah, maybe Tarad needs to like say, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to go back to the old me. I don't even know if he was ever an asshole. The new me, I'm going to go back to the new me that has never existed before and just be a piece of shit. Maybe then it'll be a better quarterback. Yeah. All right.

Last up Ravens Texans. So the Ravens are just incredible. The Texans, I actually I'm not ready to to shit on the Texans yet because they had to play the Chiefs in the fucking Ravens. Like you can't start harder than that. Yeah, it's a tough draw. I'm not going to go like it's actually almost the reverse of like the Bears or the Steelers playing two terrible teams to start.

You can't sit here and say definitively the Texans stink. They don't look good, but they played the Chiefs in the Ravens. I think that this is no exaggeration. I think I could be the punter for the Ravens this year and not cost them any games. Yeah, easily. They never go for it. They never always go for it.

They always go for it on the fourth round dictated to go and he loves going for it. Ever since he realized that, oh, yeah, fourth down is actually just another regular play and we get like six yards every play anyway, ever since the the computer folks told him that stat. He has been addicted to going for it. I think I could punt for the Ravens and we'd still go I'd say 13 and three. They the Ravens are or Alabama. They're Alabama football.

They just run the ball down your fucking throat. They could be efficient passing game, but today they in that fourth quarter, they almost like we were all sitting here rooting for the over. And I felt more confident that the Ravens would maybe get it than a team that can pass because the Ravens just rip off these runs that they look like college football runs like you're not in the NFL. You're not supposed to be able to run the ball like the Ravens run the ball. They run the ball and they'll just fucking like that fourth and one

where Ingram scores that was I've seen that play in an Alabama game where I've covered a spread because Alabama wasn't even trying to run up the score. They're just so much better than you that they do it. When are we going to get the conversation going for you should extend Lamar Jackson now? Now. Pay him now. Now. Pay him. Pay Lamar. Yes. Right now. Because they're getting a hell of a deal out of him. Yes. They got to win, though.

They got to win the time short. So even as bad as the Texans were, that's the only the only the second time that Deshaun Watson has lost by more than 14 points. Last time Ravens last year. So the Ravens kind of just own the they have their numbers. They just kick the shit out of the Texans. All right, let's get to let's finish up. We got so we're going to football guy the week.

We're going to do who's back of the week and we'll do a little NBA talk. I don't think there was was there any other thing? I don't think there's any like tournaments or anything that happened today. No. OK, so perfect. So that will be the rest of the show. Let's do football guy of the week presented by our friends at Phillips Norelco football guy of the week presented by Phillips Norelco.

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So do it. Phillips Norelco. We love Phillips Norelco. They are the presenting sponsor for our football guy of the week. Your style made simple Phillips Norelco one blade. So the Phillips Norelco football guy of the week, Jake Marsh, you sent us the email. I'm looking for the email.

You taxed it. It's a taxid. Yeah, it's taxed to I got him right here. I get us. Get us going. All right. First one was Syracuse quarterback Rex Culpepper. Great, great quarterback name.

He threw his first touchdown of his career, 69 yard score after being declared cancer free in 2018. A little heart strings for he went through a hundred hours of Hank is literally dead. Hank's dying. Poor boy. I'm this is we're back to this the grinder. I miss American Ninja Warrior on TV right now.

I also have to listen to this back. So this is like, you know, I can miss it the first time, but if we're flipping it, if we're flipping it, we PFT, I also had to work the last four. We had to work during Sunday football. That's true. Same. Well, you had to watch the game. We had a stream.

True work, work, grind, work, work, work. I'm not even you can nap. OK, yeah, just fall asleep for the rest of the podcast. You'll be good. Wait, but I'll show you up when we want to make fun of LeBron, because it's a D's team. Yeah, I'm ready for this. All right, OK, I'm listening. All right, all right.

Rushing my eyes a little bit. Then we had the parents of high school quarterback Jake Garcia are nominated. They had to legally separate from their son in order for him to be eligible to play after transferring. So it's like a reverse blindside. Incredible. They orphaned. They orphaned their own son and then sent him out to LA. Yes.

Sandra Bolton needs to make that. I love that move. I love that move. And then Colts owner Jim RSA gave a motivational speech on Twitter while standing over the bench press. I think we talked about that on Friday. Yeah, yeah. And then Desmond Pulliam, he's a high school senior in Texas

with autism spectrum disorder, who scored his first career touchdown in a rivalry game. I saw the replay of this. I saw the highlight of this. He's got wheels. I would like to make a PSA to to anyone who's ever involved in one of these types of plays where they have somebody come on the field who's maybe been associated with the team for a while and want to get

them in a game before they graduate, give them a good five yards worth of space as they're running the ball into the end zone. His teammates came dangerously close to tackling them several times on this run. Yes. I know you want to be on sports and are like high five them on the way to the end zone. Don't trip them. Also, do you think anybody in the stands had the under on that game?

Yeah. And then that play has got to be tough. And then you don't. You just have to like bite your tongue and just be like, you know, you could bitch about it after. Yeah, it's about it after. Yeah, you can bitch it in private. What are you, Jake Rinaldi today, trying to make us cry? Fucking sad, sad stories.

What the hell, man? We want the dudes who are like who like the guy who's got like cirrhosis of the liver and he's like, I'll play without a liver. And I'll coach. Yeah, I'll coach without a liver, not just actually sad stories. That's for serious. Yeah, fuck. All right. So Phil Sonroco, football guy of the week, vote. We'll put up the blog.

Maybe we'll try to get in touch with them. I mean, I just got to cry. We're going to cry now. Yeah. We should have a cry episode apart of my take. Yeah, where we just cry. Yeah, where we just try to make each other cry. We'd watch Marley and me. Don't don't even say.

Yeah, I know. I just said it. Yeah. All right. Hank, Hank. No, Hank's our dog owner now. You ever seen Normie? You ever think about Normie getting old? You ever think about Normie? No, stop. I was I mean, he loves you so much.

And I love him. Right. He's my best friend. Beth already. They're our boys. Damn. How big is his day? I don't know. You don't know. That would actually be so funny, Normie,

because he's like he's a wiener dog, right? What if you just had a fucking hog? He doesn't, you know, he doesn't really whip it out in front of me. We got we got a good girl connection. Oh, really? He's really low to the ground. Really, though, like she'll he'll just get excited to start going.

He likes to check. Yeah. Does he ever does it ever scrape against the ground when he's walking? Yeah, sometimes after he after he pees, I call it will be the little trail of a damn moment. Oh, so he does have a little tripe. Oh, he's so small to the ground. Quad pod. No. Quinn, Quinn pod, Quinn pod, his fifth leg.

All right. Enough about Hank's dogs, Dick. Who's back the week? Hank, my who's back the week. You said we were going to do it later, but I'm just going to do it now. No, we're doing it. We're this is the end of the show.

We're going to end the show. Gordon Hayward. Yeah. And Anthony Davis. So gone. Gordon Hayward's back. The Celtics beat the heat. He's looking good.

The Celtics are looking good. That locker room blow up, by the way, was way bigger than I thought it was. Like I was reading some of the tweets. It seemed like they really were mad. I told you, yeah, I said it on the show. But they fought it out and they kept it in house. Yes, as were first reported by me on the show two days ago.

Marcus Smart wedged Brad Stevens. Yeah. I mean, I was trying to give you guys the facts. You guys are trying to make jokes. Not really listening to what I was saying, but I told you all this the other day, all for the good, all for the cause. You down for the cause?

They kept it in the house. Yeah, I'm down for the 18th banner, 18th ring. Gordon Hayward, he's staying in the bubble, though, right? He's staying in the bubble. He's having another child. Is it a boy? Or is daddy still always happy? This one's a boy.

Daddy's happy. Daddy's really, really actually happy this time. Yeah, for sure. I think he just realized, like, if you're in the bubble, you can play unlimited amounts of video games. Yeah. Whereas if you go home, then you have to go to the hospital with your wife

and hold her hand once she gives birth. Still the best. It's a big thing. He's like, I'd just rather be on the sticks. The best was when we, uh, Gordon Hayward, I think the bubble started right as Doug's was ending, but we streamrated Gordon Hayward one night and everyone just told him that Dog Rivers died.

And then he realized that, like, our chat just fucks with people. And he was like, why would you say that? That's, like, so fucked up. I felt really bad. It was also really funny. Dog Rivers would be an excellent name for, like, for, like, an old blood habit.

Oh, you should have named Normie Dog Rivers. Dog Rivers. What's up, Hank? There's no choker. Oh, wow. That's my who's back. OK, OK. My who's back.

Wait, AD. It is his team. Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to say it, but let's just say, you know, I've thought about some things this weekend. Yeah, Noel Brown's going to win a title. We have to get, we have to, like, get on the same page. I'm not saying that, but I.

Like, what's the line? What's the company line I'm going to be? I ran some simulations. I ran a lot of simulations, and they're all kind of coming out the same way. You just thought, I think the simulations is, Hank, thinking too long about that. I think being a father should be the number one

job that LeBron should have right now. Yes, it's true. So, Ronnie, he should leave the bubbler. Let's just say that was not the bubbler. That was not the first time LeBron James Jr. has smoked weed. He knew his way around the Philly. Knows what he is doing.

Great caption, by the way, too. That's the thing. What was the caption? I was like, we are smoking that Nuggets pack tonight right after the Lakers beat the Nuggets. Like, I would say something like that. Like, if we beat the Nuggets, and I was, like, smoking a celebratory blunt, it's like, yeah,

we're smoking the Nuggets pack. He's better at smoking weed than I am. And he's only, what, 17 years old? Is he? How old is he? I think he's 16. He's great at smoking weed. I love Brian James Jr.

He's a fucking in-the-phase clan, smoking weed every day. Clearly, he's against his dad, much like all of us. So it's like, wow. That part might be made up. No, no, no. No, that's right. I mean, he hates LeBron James. He hates his dad.

Just like us. Yeah, he's rebelling against his dad. We all hate LeBron James, including Brownie. Brownie, open invites to come on the show whenever you want. Yeah, you know what? We should be a Brownie podcast. We approve Brownie. I DM'd with him once, and then I was like, wait,

I'm DMing with a 15-year-old. That's weird. This is weird. But yeah, he is weird when he trends. That's kind of weird. Yeah. I was just, like, talking about him. He's like, this is a 16-year-old?

Yeah. He's been making videos and stuff. Yeah, that's weird. But then again, he also taped himself. Yeah. So he clearly wants everyone to know that he's like, smokes. That's the thing. So we know you're cool now.

Right, he joins FaZe Clan like he's doing all this shit. Yeah, he knows that he has to be in front of the camera a little bit. Also, biggest clown move of all time was LeBron James, like just bitching and moaning about not wanting MVP and not even graduating, to be honest. Right, right. Saying it was bullshit voting.

Is that what he said? Scum, maybe be better than you would an MVP. Yeah, maybe if you worry less about MVP. You're not going to win finals MVP if you win the championship. No disrespect to families, though. No disrespect to families. Yeah. Also, maybe if you didn't feed them wine all the time,

they wouldn't smoke weed. That's right, it's actually healthier. They're probably just trying to get rid of the spins from all the wine they're drinking. The counter. This is Bronny actually going on a health kick. This is like his version of becoming vegan. It's just like, you know what, I'm not going to drink alcohol.

It's better for you if I just stay high all the time. Then all honesty, it must suck. Like it's probably great to be Bronny James Jr. because you're awesome at basketball and your dad's LeBron James, but at the same time it sucks because you're trending on Twitter after you do something that every fucking kid does.

Like every kid smokes weed. Just don't post it. Yeah. No, I say post harder. Post through it. Yeah. Because if you stop posting now, then you're letting the haters win.

If Bronny James Jr. fucking, if LeBron James wins a title and Bronny James Jr., it's a gravity bong on a live stream. I might actually, I might become a LeBron James fan. Smoking that. Through Bronny James Jr. is a portal. Uh-huh. It's a portal.

I might be like, if I ever met LeBron James, I'd be like, sir, I'm a big fan of your son. Yeah. That's it. Straight up. Like I'm a big Bronny, and you know what? Whatever part you had in raising him, good job. Yeah, you're even better father than a basketball player.

Yes. You know what would be great is if they won the championship and then Bronny was just hanging out with Javale and J.R. Smith just blazing it up. Oh, J.R. Smith definitely DMs. Just hot boxing, hot boxing the escalate at the front of the parade. Yes.

Just like crack the window, little smoke comes out. All you see is shirtless J.R., like cutting a milk gallon and a half to start to make that gravity bong. No, J.R. Smith definitely DMs. Bronny James Jr. is like, you're cooler than your dad. That's what's up. Yeah. Like you're already cooler.

Well, you might. Your dad does the same shit to me. Don't worry, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he comes down on you, don't worry. Like he's it's all love. You might want to smoke through it. That that LeBron James is not cool

because my who's back was going to be LeBron's thoughts. Wait, before you do that, do the last ad, but I want to hear this. Yeah. LeBron's thoughts are huge back. Yeah. The last ad, actually, this is great. I'm not even going to call it an ad.

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All right. Evo Lebron. Yes, Lebron's thoughts are back this week. So he's doing geometry right now. Red Alert, he's doing geometry. He said exactly why I have my clothes circle because as soon as you try to expand a square, the people who you thought were in your corner

are the exact opposite. So do you get that? Yes. So that's why he has a circle because if you open it up, then no one's in your corner anymore. I thought that was about Brony James Jr. And by opening up, he meant like having kids.

Oh, I thought you meant like circle, like puff puff pass around the circle. Do you think Lebron didn't even understand the Brony James Jr. thing? So he was like getting mad at the person who filmed Brony James Jr. Not realizing it was Brony James Jr.? Yes, somebody went behind Brony's back

and posted this video of him on his own Instagram. Snakes in the grass, man. I tell you. My thought. And then did you see the correction? No. He just responded with an asterisk saying R, A-R-E instead of

Okay. No, but the philosophy of the expanded circle into a square, that still stands, right? We can all agree on that. Lebron James teaching geometry, but also imparting life lessons would be, that'd be a TED talk I would be here for. When he tweets like that,

I just giggle to myself endlessly. Like, where do you think he got this saying from though? Three time NBA champion or 14 year old girl going through a breakup. Yeah. You decide. When you go off on a tangent, no one will co-sign for you.

Dude. Lebron James fat thoughts. Anyone who tweets, sub tweets, like super dramatic shit like this. I mean, we said last week, Dan Orlowski, when he was like, remember those who lied to you. I won't. What, who are you saying this to?

Either just tell us who doesn't, the square that doesn't fit in the circle or whatever the fuck you're saying, Lebron. Or don't, but don't leave us hanging. I always assume it's Kyrie. It's still Kyrie. Still Kyrie, yeah. I like that.

Or maybe AD, because AD is, it's clearly his team. Yeah, I mean, he got the shot. He did get the shot. And Lebron James passed up on his shot. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. For poor nuggets, I like them. They're fun. All right, my who's back is the Chris Bear.

It's all the way back. Do you guys get all the Chris Bear this weekend? Chris Bear is back. I like it to a point. I usually like this first week of the Chris Bear. This summer, it's a little bit different though, because I spent the last six months inside air conditioning.

You know, and that's always a treat if it's really hot outside and you re-enter air conditioning. Yeah. That feels awesome. But I've had more than my fair share of Chris Bear. No, this is, no, that's it. No, that's manufactured air.

This is, the real Chris Bear is officially back. It feels like fall. Football is humming. I think I said this like maybe the first year we did the podcast, but when you have, when you're a bigger guy, it's like a big dog getting their life back when the Chris Bear comes.

The summer's hard. The summer like slogs for anyone who's got breasts like I do. And then that first taste of Chris Bear and sweatshirt weather, I feel like I could just run. I have the zoomies. I just run like crazy.

And I don't actually run. I'm not saying I run. But you know what, my brain could run. You feel like you could. Yeah. And I just put on a little lumineers. Feel like a poet. Feel like I walked around Philly this morning.

I'm gonna say it. This morning was like a movie. You should start doing some emo tweets. Yeah, it was like a rom-com. I was at Judd Apatow. Yeah, you've got Taylor Swift humming in the background. Yeah. And all the whole time I was just like farting

and thinking about what bets I was gonna make. But that's the new rom-com. Yeah. I got into a car the other day and it had heat on and it felt good to step into the heat. I just thought like it's too soon for this. Yeah. It's too soon.

I love the Chris Bear. I hope someday, many years from now when I die, it's just sitting outside in the Chris Bear. I did that this morning. I put, I was like a real Philly scumbag. I took a chair and I sat it right in front of the apartment. We were like in a townhouse. I just sat it on the sidewalk.

I just sat in a chair on the sidewalk for an hour. Just like looking at people passing by. Yeah, all I needed was a hose to just like hose kids as they walk by, like get out of here, scram. I felt great. I liked the Chris Bear at night. Not a fan. During the day it should be hot.

No. And now it should be cold. No. So that way when we watch. You wanna live in the desert. We watch Sunday Night Football. You get the steaming heads and you get the, you get the steam coming out of the mouth

when people exhale. I love that. I don't like seeing hot air at night. No, I need Chris Bear all the time. All right, that's our show. I think we missed, we didn't miss anything, right? That's it. So when you think about the big major sports going on,

we got basketball. We talked a little bit of hockey. We mentioned hockey at least. Oh yeah, the stars look awesome. Mm-hmm. And Stool Streams Jenga today. We forgot to talk about that. Stool Streams Jenga today, that's the next sport.

A bunch of people are playing. Me, you, and Jake are playing on Thursday. Rivalry week. Okay, let's go. Rivalry week. All right, so yeah, that's our show. Love you guys. Billy, do you have any fun facts?

Oh, that's cool. Thank you, Mr. Commenter. The 2020 US Open is in the books. And let's just say it was a huge few days for the course. 143 of the 144 players in the field failed to shoot under par at Winged Foot and only 29 players shot 10 over or better. Quick reminder that, quote, I root for the course

and quote, hats are available exclusively on StoredUpArtsToTheSports.com right now. Bryson DeChambeau, tankleaf.nana, name out. Emerge victorious to win his first ever major. However, many are questioning the validity of this win. That's two-time US Open champion Brooks Kepka did not participate due to injury. Get well soon, Blake.

That's your PMT-PGA Sunday Night update. We will see you all on Wednesday. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.

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