Pardon My Take - Nick Colletti, Randy Moss, Saban vs Jimbo And A Special Fyre Fest Guest

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

The Celtics whomped the Heat and Hank whomped Jake's nuts. We talk NBA and the last 2 nights of blowouts. (00:02:40-00:13:52) Nick Saban and Jimbo Fisher have engaged in a nuclear war over college football recruits and alleged cheating. (00:15:10-00:33:29) PGA Championship kicks off and we're rooting hard for our guys. (00:33:31-00:38:40) Randy Moss joins the program to give us some picks before Preakness, and tells us about Saturday's race. (00:38:41-00:57:35) Comedian Nick Colletti joins the show to talk about his stand up tour, Suh Dude, Vine, and Real Bros of Simi Valley. (00:58:31-01:34:36) We finish up with Fyre Fest of the week and a very special guest joins us to pour his heart out.(01:36:04-02:02:26)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, a twofer for the people. We have Randy Moss, Preakness Picks, talking a little horse racing with him. Then we have comedian Nick Coletti.

If you are a longtime AWO, you know. So dude, very funny guy does stand up, been in a lot of stuff. And then we have the game two recap of Heat Celtics, game one recap of Maverick's Warriors, Jimbo vs Saban and a very special guest for Firefest of the Week. Before we get into all of that,

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Boy! Now in the street there is violence and I'm not allowed to solve the world and be done. No place to hang out or wash in and then I can't play all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric I brand new and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric.

It's part of my take. There's nothing about varsity sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Visible.com slash pod. Get unlimited single line wireless for as low as $25 a month when you use Visible.com slash pod. Today is Friday, May 20th and the Celtics are back. Absolute womp of the heat in game two.

Turns out Marcus Smart is very important. He had an insane night. Al Horford. Al Horford, Peyton Prichard, I saw a stat before I walked in, tied the record, I think for Celtics plus minus in playoff games with Kendrick Perkins plus 41 well on the court and two legends on top of all of that.

Hank decided it wasn't enough to beat the fuck out of the heat. He also, Nick slapped Jake so bad that Jake is sick. Okay, so let's set a reset of this real quick. Let's have Jake reset it, please. Well, you guys slander the conversation. I don't trust what Jake's about to say. You're saying team Hank to the man that just punched you in your testicles, Jake.

Yeah, ask me to. It was part of, ready, context. We each picked two numbers from the machine. If you picked it correctly, you have to get tapped by a person of your choosing. Hank got the win over the Celtics. Celtics heat stream figured. 25 point win.

Yeah, it made the most sense. That's what the AWLs want. They wanted to see me versus Hank on the basketball and I feel like that's a fitting way to end the stream. And so Hank really took a lot of Oh no, Jake just dropped the laptop. That's worse than the laptop. Because his testicle is so swollen.

He's down bad. Slid right off. He's down bad. So Hank, you just fucked him up so bad. You fucked him up, big cat. What Jake left out is that Hank. Is that big cat was the one that invented the bag. No, no, Hank went up there

and he slapped Jake with extreme malice. Oh my God. The sound effect. It was a sound of like a large man doing a belly flop from a 10 meter platform. You took out like a year's worth of frustration with Jake on that one nut slap. No, I love Jake.

The best in the office thing was great. It was a great clip for stool streams, great promotion. I had no issue with it. The step over, that was fine. No issue with that. None, none whatsoever. I reviewed the tape and for context again, we did a whole live stream.

This was part of it every single quarter. We drew numbers and somehow after the second quarter, Aria, the producer who was also in the room, he got his number chosen. He asked big cat to hit him in the nuts and big cat his first time went too soft and missed and it was awkward and it was like, all right, well, I have to do it again.

So that was kind of in my head where I was like, I obviously don't want to hit him in the nuts, but I don't want to have to hit him in the nuts twice. I wish I hit him less hard, but I also don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation. I had to hit him in the nuts. And Hank's saying that he did you a favor by just

and so I hit him in the nuts. I don't know what, I plead not guilty. And so Jake- But guilty for hitting him in the nuts, but not guilty for hitting him too hard. But then now Jake, like Hank is apologizing to Jake and then Jake is apologizing back to Hank. I'm also low key mad at Jake

because I think he just put a curse on Celtics. You know that part of it too, it's part of like, heat in five car lines. Yeah, I definitely don't apologize. Hank, how are you saying that Jake put a curse on the Celtics? Because he could have chosen anyone. By you hitting him.

Because he asked, he could have chosen anyone in the room. But he chose me. This is textbook abusive behavior from Hank right now. He's making you feel bad, Jake, about what he did to you. When reality should all be big head. If anyone should feel bad, it's big head. Agreed, agreed. I literally told Jake that if he can't have children

and he wants to later on in his life, I will fuck his future wife. That's a very nice thing for me to do. That's true, I mean, I guess that's true. Right, so I'm a hero in this situation. Back to the game. I'm good, if everyone's good. I'm great, I'm sorry.

I don't think you're good. That's okay, we want attention in this series and now we have it. If you want to call me a public master, that's fine. We want attention, we have it. The Celtics, that was a crazy performance though. 20 for 40 from three, they were insane. They, I just saw the stat they had on Sports Center.

It was like the fifth largest road win in the playoffs of any team ever. Crazy, crazy win. Are they all the way back, Hank? Because you, you were, you were scared because of game one. Like game one shook you. They were up 20 in the first half. I was like, this game's over.

And you're like, don't say that, don't say that. But it felt like they had control from literally, it was, I think it was 21 to like 14. And then the Celtics went on a 17-0 run and they never looked back. I mean, the Celtics, if you really look at it, have had control for most of the series. So yeah, I was, I felt-

Only one two quarters tonight. I felt super, super confident about the Celtics in the first half of the first game. And then it all fell apart 39 to 14. So I, it would, it would be fucked up in like bad of me to be like, oh, this game's over. We have this in the bag in the first half. No matter what the score is,

because that third quarter of game one was scarring. Yeah. Make or miss league. It was a wamping. It was straight up a wamping tonight. And what's crazy is I was looking at the plus minuses too. Payton Pritchard, they just adjusted his stat line, by the way. To 39.

To 39. So Kenneth Perkins remains untouched. If you look at the plus minus on the heat gave Vincent only minus three on 24 minutes. Tyler Hero also played 24 minutes minus 33. So that tough night for a boy, Tyler. I like doing plus minuses too, because it tells you that Omer Yurtsevin.

Yurtsevin. Yurtsevin plus seven. He should have been in it all night. He should have been in it all night. Yeah. Six minutes plus seven. That's efficiency. That's great in a loss like that. But yeah, this was a true wamping.

I guess we'll see. I expected the Celtics to come out and play really well tonight, just because they're a very good team and it doesn't feel like, it feels similar to the Buc series, where I think this will go back and forth. I think we're gonna have a six or seven game series.

I think this will go back and forth. I think the heat will win one game in Boston. Like both these teams are very good. You know what? I just bet on the team that lost the last time. I don't want it to be back and forth, but in blowouts both ways. No, I agree with that.

Tonight was boring. It was very boring. And Wednesday night was very boring too. Yeah, we can talk as well. Wednesday was very boring. I mistakenly thought that Luca drinking a beer at 11 a.m. before the game was a good sign for the Mavericks. Turned out it was not.

The Warriors did. Almost no way that was true. Yeah, it was. Well, the Mavericks said that it was from another day. I choose to believe that it's true. My problem is not with the beer. I think if you're from Eastern Europe, you should be able to drink a beer

like instead of Gatorade during the game that would be fine. Yeah, but my problem was the Sun's video. You see the Sun's video of them dancing in the like hallway and everyone was like, I was like, oh, this is before game seven. They were like goofy dancing. Yeah, I don't like that.

Yeah, but my problem is not with the beer. My problem was he had a hookah. Oh, no, it was hookah Donchich and that's not good. That's not good for the lungs before a game. Um, hookah Donchich is nice. You think that's gonna stick? I don't know. I didn't even see the hookah in there.

That's definitely somebody on Twitter. Somebody on Twitter's who could not. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah, without a doubt, without a doubt. But, uh, yeah, that game was a blowout as well. The Warriors, I, I actually think that series will be a competitive series because it's similar to what happened to the Mavs

in the last round where the Suns look like the Mavs had no answer for him for the first two games. And the Warriors have had moments in this playoff run where they have looked like old school warriors and then they have had nights where it's like, what the fuck? No one can like dribble. Everyone's just thrown it around. Clay sucks.

It was good though to see Steph get like his full swagger back. Yeah, he did one shimmy like all the way down the court. Yeah, he just didn't stop shimmy. He wasn't even that incredible from three, but it was, he hit one of those threes where it was like, this is not a good shot for anyone in the world, except for Steph Curry. Yeah, but when he's hitting those shots, it's a great shot.

It's actually the perfect shot that you draw for him. Right. I don't think I, I, I hope that that series isn't going to be blowouts every single time. Although if it's going to be a late game, I'm okay with it being over at halftime. Yeah, it was going to be like a 930 tip and it's over by 11. I'm totally cool with that. I also think it's just, it was very similar to the Heat Celtics

game one where it's like, you got, you, you have the team that just won an emotional game seven. And obviously it was a blowout for the Mavericks, but that has to be such an incredible feeling to beat the best team record wise in the NBA on their home court by 40. Then you have to turn around and play the Warriors. It was essentially all the Mavericks roleplayers that played out of their fucking mind against the Suns in that series.

The end of that series didn't show up. And that's what you get. We get back to Luca needs more help. Well, they shot like, I think it was 20% from three or something like that, which if Luca is going to play Luca ball in the second half in the fourth quarter, you have to have guys that are hitting shots earlier in the game to give him that luxury. Right. Because he can't, it can't be Luca versus the world

when you're down 10 points or you're down 14 points. Yeah. You have to keep it within single digits and then let Luca cook. Yeah. So I mean, that was, yeah, two, two blowouts back to back. But that's OK. Well, I think we're going to get some good weekend games. What do you what even is the schedule? What times a game on every game is one day off both series? Oh, fuck. So we got a game every day.

I love that. Go NBA. Yeah. Finally, right? Hockey, except the hockey now is doing back to back Saturday 30. Yeah, Celtics are Saturday. I think every game is eight 30 for all, for all seven. Yes. Maybe 9 p.m. through last. Are they going to continue to screw over Southern Florida by scheduling every game at the same time?

No, but the six of the seven games are together, except they've made the Panthers lightning play a back to back because of a Cain Brown concert in Tampa. Oh, disgusting. They want back to back. Yeah, I'm good. Thank you for checking in. They do a back to back in Tampa as if that team hasn't had experience playing late into the postseason like couldn't be a conflict.

No, there was also another all time moment on the stream featuring Jake, which is his beloved Panthers lost in literally the last second of the game. They ended up adding like a two second addition to the clock. But at the time they got scored on with point nine seconds left and Jake saw it happen and his reaction was perfect. It was like, what was it? Oh, no. And they started smiling immediately after because he knew it was like a smile of shock, though. It was a smile of shock.

But also it was actually happy. Also a smile of like, what a moment of sports. Yeah, that's crazy. That was a wild moment of sports or a goal, a game winning goal with a second left. That's that's wild. Yeah, if it wasn't the Panthers, they would have been the same exact like tone, just oh, wow. And so, oh, no.

Wow is good. Oh, no, bad. Got it. OK, let's get to the rest of the show. We got some Sabin and Jimbo coming up. A great discussion. And then we'll have Randy Moss, Nick Coletti, and make sure you listen to Firefest because we have a very special guest on Firefest this week. We're brought to you by our friends at Sirius XM app.

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OK, well, World War Three broke out today in the college football world. Actually, I should say it broke out on Tuesday night when Nick Saban decided to hit the nuclear button and then Jimbo Fisher decided on Wednesday to hit his nuclear button so they both destroyed each other. We should I'll give a little background for anyone who maybe isn't tuned in to the college football world. Nick Saban on Tuesday night does a it was like one of those meet and greets that college coaches do where they basically go and talk to people for an hour,

you know, get some donor money. Nate Oates was there. It's kind of like they go talk to some of the biggest donors in the area. Yeah, guys that are boosters, guys that buy a lot of season tickets. And it sounds like Nick Saban was kind of like subtly hinting to them. Hey, if we want to be able to compete long term, maybe start paying these guys some more NIL money. And so I heard from someone on the ground, too, that essentially the regular

event went normal and then after the Q&A happened, it almost felt like Nick Saban didn't realize that all the media was there, even though they all have cameras and it's like, there's the media. So Nick Saban said about recruiting. I mean, we were second in recruiting last year. A&M was first. A&M bought every player on their team, made a deal for NIL. We didn't buy one player.

All right, but I don't know if we're going to be able to sustain that in the future because more and more people are doing it. It's tough. This is like, to put it in perspective, coaches just don't do this. This, this doesn't get done where you actually name another school and another guy out loud and say, they're cheating. I could see Lane Kiffin doing it, but he's just outside of Lane Kiffin. Even still, Lane Kiffin actually responded.

They said, for the first time in my life, I have no words. So, which is words, but whatever. Or I'm speechless. It's, it's like one of those things that all of them complain to each other and to complain to journalists behind closed doors off the record, but they never outright say that guy cheated. He bought all his players. And it's clearly Nick Saban like, where's the motive?

Oh, he actually said it to you right in, in, in the first line. He said, I mean, we were second in recruiting last year. They were second. So he's mad. Nick Saban doesn't like to lose. Yeah, he lost on the field too. He lost, he lost to Jimbo Fisher and this is, I think it was just him being like, Hey, we need, we need to do exactly what Jimbo is doing,

but we need to do it better. That's, I think the message that he was sending, but then it got interpreted as like, he named names. And so you don't do that. I, you said World War three, I'd say, like the Civil War, if both sides were the South, and then Jimbo was, Jimbo was like emergency press conference tomorrow morning and Jimbo showed up and just he, he opened up the Kimono. Oh, he went, he went tortures, by the way.

It's, it's not even World War three. It's not even Civil War. It's buyRNR.com because these are two West Virginia boys. So Jimbo and Nick Saban, both from West Virginia, that you should buyRNR.com because when West Virginians fight, there's nothing like it tonight. Tune in, PFT will be there. I'll be on the call doing the Anthem. PFT has got his secret thing coming, which is going to be great.

So this is, this is, this is basically our rough and rowdy in college football. But yeah, do you actually have a PFT? Oh, it's being shipped there. Oh, okay. Yeah. Special delivery. Let's, let's, let's hope it gets there. Now it's officially built up so big that everyone's going to be pissed off.

Well, you could do, you, well, no, because you bleeped it, you bleeped it so it could be anything. Yeah. But now that we're talking about it again, now people are going to be like, oh, that's what it is. Whatever the why did they, why did they spend half of every episode apart of my take talking about it? Well, whatever the coolest thing that happens tomorrow night, you can be like,

that was it. That was my thing. I brought that knockout. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so Jimbo Fisher, he said, uh, in response, yeah, like you said, PFT, he called the press conference was just a hilarious move. It's, it's, it's like, it's, it's stone cold.

Like the glass shatters like 10 AM media availability. See you there. What just happened was they're, they're essentially drug dealers and they both know that the other guy is breaking the law. Oh shit. That guy has illegally registered firearms. Yeah. No shit.

Everybody does. That's what we do in this business of ours. This is our thing. La Cosa Nostra and then Jimbo, he saw save and run his mouth and now it's a snitching situation. It's so you're going to be the first guy that snitches, then I'm going to snitch on you. So what, what Jimbo Fisher essentially did, this is all, by the way,

indistinguishable from an episode of Real Housewives, except they just happened to be football coaches. This is, this is the guy's version of Bravo. Actually, it's actually, they're more direct than Real Housewives because usually Real Housewives, it takes till the reunion show for this stuff to happen. Real Housewives, they'll say shit to the camera behind, like without anyone seeing, they're just going directly to each other.

Yeah. So Jimbo, they're going fucking shop for shop. So Jimbo didn't really say anything concrete to pin Nick Saban down, but he did allude to a lot of stuff. And you know why? He alluded to it because a lot of the stuff that Nick Saban was doing was when he was at LSU, when Jimbo Fisher was also there and didn't have a problem at the time, but he was like, he referred to Nick Saban as God.

Yes. And that's going to be tough to get people to disagree, especially people in Alabama. Like Nick Saban is pretty much God. He's probably above God. Yeah. And he was like, if you, if you're going to call a guy God, you might, the quote was, go dig into God.

How did, excuse me, I'm trying to get this right. Go dig into how God did his deal. You might find out about a guy like God. A lot of things you don't want to know. Yeah. He's been reading the Old Testament. He went crazy. He also said, we never bought anybody.

No rules were broken. Nothing was done wrong. The, it's despicable that a reputable head coach can come out and say this when he doesn't get his way or things don't go his way. Ding, ding, ding. That's that part. Jimbo's right. That's a hundred percent correct.

And, and side note, like there's a reason why it's not only Texas A&M because they had the number one recruiting class. They also have one of the wealthiest alumni bases in like budgets and all those things, like in terms of teams that can compete with Alabama, there are a significant threat to Nick Saban going forward, but he went on to say the narcissist in him doesn't allow those things to happen. The parody in college football he's been talking about. Go talk to coaches who coach for him.

You'll find out all the parody. Go go dig into where he's been. You can find out anything. This is my favorite part. And it's a shame you've got to sit here and defend 17 year old kids and families and Texas A&M because we do things right. We're always going to do things right. I love when coaches bring in their just kids.

Listen, we're here, we're here to turn young men into adults and what you're doing to the grandmothers and the mothers of these young kids is despicable. Yeah, I hate it for our players who are coming here, who did things the right way, have done things the right way, will continue to do things the right way. And then also in this, Nick Saban put a couple of ricochet shots at our boy Dion and named names and was like, Hey, at Jackson State, they're getting some recruits that they're paying money for. Listen, Nick, Dion Sanders did not pay a nickel.

So did not pay a nickel. We, on the other hand, paid $2.5 million and a new Chevy Corvette to get them their recruiting. Like I said, I said to Jack Mack, who does a great job with unnecessary roughness, where do you think the pile sale goes to? It's Travis Hunter. It's going to Travis Hunter. It's Travis Hunter.

But one last thing with Jimbo, because I want to talk about the Dion part. Jimbo also like has completely deaded Nick Saban. He said he got a phone call from him. He said, we're done. He didn't pick up. He showed you who he is. He's the greatest ever, huh? When you've got all the advantages, it's easy.

You coach with people like Bobby Bowden and learn how to do things. You coach with other people, learn how not to do things. There's a reason I ain't went back and worked for him with opportunities. Don't want to be associated with it. Now he is, there is like, because remember Saban left LSU for Florida or for the dolphins, Jimbo stayed Saban came back. Jimbo didn't go with Saban when he came back. He didn't go to Alabama.

He went to Florida State. So there is at least like a point in Jimbo's career where you can point to it. Like he probably could have returned to Nick Saban. He decided not to either way. It really is like mutual destruction because Jimbo is essentially saying he cheats and if you start to dig into it, I cheated too. Yeah, we all cheated. Right.

Yeah, no shit. You just don't talk about the cheating. Every everything was copacetic in college football when we just ignored the fact that everyone was cheating all the time. Let's go back to that era. I actually like, I like the structure and the format of where we're at in college football now where like you can cheat, but the players are also getting more of the money that goes along with the cheating.

Just cheat. Do whatever the fuck you want. No one cares. The NCAA is not the cops. And right now this has turned into essentially if the SEC had an east coast and a west coast wrap beef from back in the nineties. That's what we're into right now. Like this is pretty close to I've already got it set in my calendar right now

to observe the handshake. Yeah. Will there be a hand? How about the SEC media day now knowing how the SEC runs and how Greg Sanky runs everything, they'll probably kiss and make up behind closed doors because that's just the SEC has has it figured out that like we all are together because we just beat the shit out of everyone else. Like at some point you can't have the in fighting because then everyone

snitches on everyone, everyone gets investigated because that's the best part about this is like the NCAA has to at least pretend to investigate both Alabama and Texas A&M after. You know who got Scott free with all this? Tennessee. Yeah. Tennessee got off Scott free because they just landed that recruit from California with an eight million dollar NIL deal.

And that didn't get brought up one time in this. So right now up in Knoxville, they're like, thank you. That's actually offensive to Tennessee that they don't thank you. Saving doesn't seem as a real threat. That's bad. And that's that's the subtext in all this. That's that's kind of like bubbling under the surface is Nick Saban's looking at their recruiting rankings and he's like, why would every 17

year old in the country want to spend four years in college station? Correct. That just doesn't add up unless there's millions of dollars involved. And which for the record, I agree with him about college station is the creepiest place on earth. Yeah. And they also there's like kids from all over the country where it's like, how does a kid go from California to college station?

How does a kid go from Philadelphia to college station? Yeah, those things. Yeah. But so, so the, the Dion part and I, I have a theory now. I just think Saban either is sneaky to online himself or someone close to him is too online because the Dion allegations. He Saban even said like it was printed in the paper. No, it wasn't.

It was literally a rumor that was made up by mad Florida state fans. It's a message board rumor that got started because they were pissed off that their guy got away and that Dion Sanders, their alumni took him away and then somebody online with an account, probably like a power user, a guy that's got like the fourth biggest tailgate party at Florida state. He went on to the message board and was like, that's barstool money. And now everyone's like, it's been reported. And then the same thing happened with, with the Jimbo thing.

Now, Jimbo obviously gets the number one class. There probably has been a lot of NIL number money. But remember Jimbo in a press conference in January called out a message board. I think it was a bro Bible articles, a comment section of Brobot. He literally quoted it. He was like some guy named sliced bread. So either that's Saban or someone note, like someone in Saban's campus sliced bread, the username, because all these things that Saban is

saying are just, they're things that are just floated out on the internet where you can find, you can find anyone bashing any program at any point. Also, they're, they're like, they're Aflac boys. Yeah, Deon and Deon and Saban. That was, that was my first reaction too. Like that's a kind of a crazy move. Now I, I love, I love Deon. I love coach prime.

He's our guy will back him to the end of earth. But with all that said, he's on the clock because he's doing a little bit of LeBron Q&A. He was like, I will address these. I'm waiting for it. He had a great, I would like to see it. I mean, the graphic that he put out when he said I'm about to address, it was just, it was a video of Deon and said, like, I will be addressing Nick Saban's

comments at some point soon in the future. I think if I know Deon, he wants to go just absolutely scorched earth and turn on like preacher mode because he can get into preacher mode and start talking about the Lord and then Nick Saban is not going to have shit to come back with. I just need him to do it. I don't want to wait. I want him to just do it because whatever he says, I'm going to back a hundred percent. Yes, I don't care what it is.

We have Deon's back, but this whole thing is just so awesome because it really is this is not done. Guys don't do this because like you said, everyone cheats. So when you start airing out everyone's dirty laundry, like when Nick Saban said, we don't, we don't buy players at Alabama. Guess what? Now people are going to start looking a little bit closer and you saw Nate Oates probably squirm next to him when he was at that event.

He's like, wait, what do you mean by we don't need to look at anyone? Yeah, like, uh, relax. Yeah, uh, to go back to the war analogy, Billy's not here right now. So I'll just I'll hop into Billy's brain real quick on this one. Loki, Loki, Loki and this one, Nick Saban is like Putin. They're both like two almost dead old short guys that they they kind of bit off a little bit more than they can chew on this one because they're old and they're irrational actors, Loki, Loki.

So Nick Saban is like he's he's invading the Ukraine by pointing fingers at Jim Boe Fisher, but he's not going to like the backlash from like the international community of Greg Sanky. Yeah. Also, you throw in something like Loki. If any of these schools want to give me some money, like Loki, I take it. So what are we, what are we ordering for dinner? Yeah, what are we ordering for dinner?

We're going to miss those for while he's gone. He's gone for a barstool show, by the way. I did appreciate Billy. I'll explain it during firefests because there's some funny. Okay, so tune in for that story behind it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so save that.

I'll save this for firefests. So yeah, either way, it's awesome. It's great to like the SEC always has us, you know, it just means more. Yeah, it really though, like the SEC just has a way of getting the whole entire internet riled up and it's it's crazy that Nick Saban did this. And then it's also not crazy because he's a really sore loser and he's been pissed off for probably months that he not only lost to Jim Boe, but he lost again to him in recruiting.

And like, I think Alabama is going to be just fine. Nick Saban talking about parody was one of the funniest things ever. Because like, dude, I think you're, I think he's lost like 25 games total in like 15 years in Alabama. That's basically the reason why he left the NFL right after one season. Because too much was there was too much. Right. He fucking hates parody.

He wants his oligarchs to be doing well and he wants to just smash everybody else. Jim Boe and Saban, the war that they've started between each other. The fans are going to take the next step. Yeah, the fans are going to start doing the digging before the NCAA gets to it. So you talk was it sliced bread sliced bread? Look for sliced bread. I got to try to find the I'm surprised it's sliced bread. Like Nick Saban doesn't seem like a Bro Bible guy.

He seems like a chive guy. I don't know. But he KCO listen, he roll tide. All right. Here we go. I found it. I found it and I say it's insulting to the kids who come here that you insinuate that and people insinuate that off a thing for taking off a message board.

No Bible by God named slice bread. Whoever the heck that is, who has no clue about what goes on. But you know, I was here to stay. So yeah, that's Jim Boe commenting on slice back in February. Slice breads got like what a what a day for slice bread. It's the best. Internet commenters are powerful, man. Expect they are.

They are. They especially when it comes to SEC message boards and any talk of NIL being abused. It really the end of this discussion comes down to it's it's everyone's, you know, hand wringing what's going to happen with college football. You know what's going to happen? It's going to be fine because essentially we just opened the floodgates in like over one one year and no one knows how to deal with it.

And eventually people will know how to deal with it. Like everyone's saying NIL what's going to happen transfer portal. I don't know. Maybe because no one like everyone in college athletics is in the past and then they changed all the rules like overnight and no one knew how to deal with it. And we're going to have this period of time where everyone accuses everyone of cheating and then in five years we're going to be like, you know what? This is good because kids get paid and we're good.

And you know, I've always thought that when it comes to like alumni paying for players, like an investment on an 18 year old is not a great investment. And eventually rich people are going to be like the rich alumni are going to be like, I don't want to pay millions of dollars every single year. What's going to be the level out? It's going to be the super rich alumni that they treat being a booster. Like the team is their play toy. Correct.

And so at some point if you've got like 50 million in the bank spending five hundred thousand dollars a year out of your own pocket might be worth it if you win a championship. But I've always thought like rich guys who if they spend five hundred thousand dollars on an 18 year old to come to their school and then that 18 year old transfers the next five hundred thousand dollars is going to be a little harder to get out of their pocket. Oh, for sure.

Because they don't like to be rich guys don't like to give up money. For sure. It's going to the coach that figures it out is going to be the coach that just like, you know, probably a younger guy is going to figure out exactly how to deal with the NIL stuff and be like, listen, we can all break. This is the purge right now. You can break all the rules that you want because there's no enforcement mechanism behind it.

And then five years from now they'll come and they'll be like, hey, all that stuff that you have already done, that's now illegal if you were to do it again. Right. But right now is the time the best cheater is going to win. And I'm convinced that if the first school that actually hires a true GM who has like, who treats it like a salary cap will be ahead of everyone. Yeah, where it's like, this is our salary every year. Next year, our salary cap goes down because, you know, there's not as many

contributions, whatever it may be. And you treat it like professional sports. It probably will work. Yeah. Bill pulling it. Um, he relates to the youth. Yeah, he does. That's why I brought that America.

Should we talk a little PGA championship? Our guy Max had a hot start. He had a hot start. Let's leave it at that. He had a great start. A great start. What an awesome start. Allergy has ruined his day.

No, but that's fine. That's, you know what? Allergies are the mark of a healthy body reacting to poison in the air. So Max, great job. Your body's doing well. We're going all positive. But yeah, no, we're going all positive. Yeah, I mean, if you're allergic, like I'm not allergic.

Yeah, I told him to stay away from the spray. Yeah, that would be dangerous. Well, I mean, now we get you giving him tips about allergies. We're in trouble. We're fine. Max homeless in this part. I mean, how fucked? It's just very cool that if Max were to win this tournament,

like the Oklahoma headlines every newspaper in America should be required to make that their headline. Yeah, but he's he's still in there. Rory's in in first. Our guy wills out towards the second he's in there. Brooks is in there is a loose place. He's in Oklahoma right field. He's in the field.

Also, I didn't realize, but is there I had a tweet last night that I respond was like sitting on the couch. The game was a blowout and I like was responding to a couple tweets and someone was like, do you guys not like Brooks anymore? And I was like, no, we love Brooks. We actually I he was going to come on Master's Week, but our schedule didn't work out. I didn't know that people thought there was like a beef.

No, no, Dave has Dave after the Brooks thing happened. I don't think we've had him on since then. No, but we can. We could have books on rights. Listen, if if all of our persona non grata for him, if we talk to him all the time, if we took every enemy Dave had and applied that to our show, we would not have any guests ever. Yeah. So with with Brooks, we're still in good terms with Brooks.

We don't want to like spend a lot of time talking about it. If you didn't play that, well, he's obviously injured. So right and dealing with a lot of stuff, his body. I can't believe he's fighting this off. It's crazy what he's doing right now. Yeah. So shout out to Brooks for being in the field today. Despite the fact that the allergies are so bad, Brooks went out there didn't complain a single time about it.

Nope. Nope. So that's just the kind of guy he is. Also, he meant I want to give Max some credit for for mentally alphaing Bryson to Shambo and getting him out of the tournament before it even started. That's how it started, because I said, because when Bryson was out, I said, like, let's go, Max. Everyone's like, what? You don't care about Brooks anymore.

I was like, no, Bryson is paired with Max. Yeah. That's why I'm coming. Yeah. He got he got Bryson out the paint. Right. Right. So he's going to he'll be just fine. There's another thing to happen to that was kind of crazy that I haven't seen in a long time. Gooch, Gooch, hold the shot out of the bunker, the green side bunker. And when I say he hold the shot, the ball landed in the cup.

Yeah, it was as a swish, as a swish. You don't see a swish that often in golf. Like, I don't think I've ever seen a swish, especially off the tee. Is that even possible in like a par three? You don't watch enough, dude. Perfect. Ovi could do it. Dude, dude, does it all the time. They swish it. Yeah.

That's fucking sick. And John Daly led for like 25 minutes. And he smoked 21 cigarettes on the course. Wait, was that I saw Will Bryson in front of ours? He was talking about he followed him in 2008. So that might have been why it went reviral. It went reviled because I saw I saw like Sports Illustrated or a website like that posted that exact clip.

And they said this was today. Yeah. So he I don't know if it was today, but Will reposted his. He had followed John Daly back in 2008 and he posted his stats from following him. He said he meticulously watched like every movement. And John Daly had 18 holes, 21 cigarettes, 12 Diet Cokes, six packs of peanut M&M's and zero ounces of water. That's awesome. So that was back in 2000, which you could have

been sure that John Daly had at least 21 cigarettes today. Yes. Yes. But yeah. And Will also said that John Daly quote said he doesn't like the taste of water. Yeah. Join the club, man. Diet Coke, by the way, Diet Coke. If you drink 12 of them over a four hour period, I think unless you've weaned yourself into drinking Diet Coke,

if you just get Jake, you don't drink Diet Coke, right? Correct. If I gave you 12 Diet Cokes in the course of four hours, I think you'd probably die. I think that would kill you. Yes. Although all those. It's like dip. Yeah. It's exact same thing. That's a one. It's more dangerous than the 21 cigarettes easily. Yes, for sure. Yeah.

Just ask Donald Trump. Yeah. Trump. I mean, when he goes off on Diet Coke, that's when he's at his best. Yeah. Diet Coke. That's OK. I'll keep drinking that garbage. OK, anything else? Hockey was awesome. The the battle of Alberta is sick.

That second period on Wednesday night was absolutely incredible. But yeah, I feel bad for Rangers fans out there. Yeah, that missed goal that that fucking they wide open shot and they don't close it out on the on the Canes. The Canes scored with like two minutes left and one in overtime. Brutal. Yeah, good for memes, though. He was like, yeah, good for memes, good for memes. OK, let's get some interviews. We've got Randy Moss giving you preakness picks.

And then Nick Coletti saw a dude full circle like six years in the making for part of my take in studio after Randy Moss. Let's do it. We're going to get right back to the show. All right, back to part of my take. OK, it is time for the preakness. And we have our good friend, Randy Moss back on.

Let's not talk about the Kentucky Derby picks because whatever. Let's just leave that in the past. I do want to bust it. Everybody big enough to carry money basically. Yeah, yeah. But but let's let's at least talk about the Kentucky Derby winner. Rich strike, not racing in the preakness. First, can you I was trying to give

a good analogy for like what it was like for this horse and this trainer and this barn, everything to win that race. What was your analogy used for like in football terms or any other sport? You know, I tried to come up with an analogy for for football and and there's really not one because there's much more parity in the NFL, I think, than the chance that this were said going into the Kentucky Derby. I'll tell you how shocking it was to me. OK. I am one hundred percent anal when it comes to preparing for these races,

especially a race like the Kentucky Derby. I mean, we talked to every trainer. We talked to some of the owners. We talked to quite a few of the riders. I mean, we're we're ready for anything to happen. Twenty horses in the derby, 19 of them we reached out and talked to one. We didn't. And that, of course, was a rich strike. Wow. So lesson learned. Yeah, lesson learned.

I mean, he only got a race on Friday. So, you know, there is an asterisk there, but it was a complete and total shocker that that was able to win. Bulletin board material for rich strike. He was like, no one even wanted to talk to me. No one wanted to learn my name before the race. I'll go out there. I'll prove I'll prove the haters wrong. So after the Kentucky Derby, I'm always curious,

because I don't I don't really know anything about horse racing. How long does it take for the horses to recover from that one race? Like, are they is their training? Do they like kind of slow off on the training for the next couple of days the next week to let them recover from that strenuous event? Or is it just like, OK, back in the routine? The answer to your the second part of your question is, yes. After a race like the Kentucky Derby,

they'll take it easy on the horses for a little while, even the ones running in the pretense. Their philosophy is after they've trained up to the Kentucky Derby, they've run in the Kentucky Derby, whether they want it or or competed. They're fit. They're ready. So you don't have to do a whole lot between them. Just keep them happy between the Derby and in the two weeks to the pregnes. In terms of how much it takes out of the horses,

it depends on the type of race they had. And largely, mostly depends on the individual horse. Some horses are knocked for a loop and it takes some five, six weeks to recover. Some horses look like they could run two days later, you know. Rich Strike is a horse that apparently came out of the race. OK, and had some energy, but they felt and they even said this before the Derby. They felt like his best races began to come

when they gave him a lot of time in between races. And that's why they didn't want to come back and run in the pregnes in two weeks. Yeah, I mean, it stinks. It takes a little bit of the allure away. I'm still going to watch. But I yeah, unless there's an injury, I think the horse should have to race. But that's neither here nor there when you're talking about the triple crown. So what you just said, there's the the pregnes seven out of nine

of the horses are off to are basically race two weeks ago. There's some that race in the Oaks and other races that weekend. How much of an advantage is it for the two that are, you know, fresh legs there? They haven't raced, you know, in the last couple of weeks. Do they have just a big advantage over everyone else? I remember last year, I'm pretty sure Rombauer hadn't had had a nice rest beforehand as well.

It's definitely an advantage. But Kat, it is the reason why trainers say they don't like to come back in two weeks in the pregnes because they believe it's counterproductive for the horse, for their energy level, for their overall future. Right. So ergo, it stands to reason that the horses that have more time than that will benefit from it. And you saw it with Rombauer, as you pointed out, we've seen it quite a few times over the years.

The only the only caveat there, it is, it is, for example, the horse like early voting, who ran his last race in the Wood Memorial and skipped the Kentucky Derby to be ready for the pregnes. They did the same thing, the same connections with the horse named Cloud Computing in 2017. And it worked. He was fresh. He came in, he won the pregnes. But what you have to look at, yes, it's an advantage,

but typically the best horses run in the Derby. So you get horses that are fresh, that come into the pregnes and they have that edge, but they're not good enough to take advantage of it. Yeah, right. And it brings up a similar point with Epicenter, who will be the favorite on Saturday, who on paper should kill everyone in this race, because like his three fastest races are faster than anyone else.

But is there going to be a wall that he hits where it's like, hey, at some point it will it will kind of regress a little bit here. Do you do you handicap that at all? Do you try to predict a regression wall coming for a horse like Epicenter? Who is faster than every other horse in this field? Typically at this level, when you get horses that run well in the Kentucky Derby, like the Kentucky Derby winner, I mean, they have a really strong win percentage coming back in the pregnes.

It surprises a lot of people when historically you look and see how well the Derby winners hold their form despite the two week gap coming back in the pregnes. It's then after that where you get the problem, right? It's the two weeks and then now the next race, if they have to come back in the Belmont, they need a lot of time generally after that those two tough races back to back. So I expect Epicenter to run his usual race.

I agree with you. I think that he stands out in the field on paper. But a horse like Early Voting would have an edge. He'll he'll probably set the pace. Epicenter should be right behind him. And Early Voting does have the edge of rest having not run since the Wood Memorial. So that will help his chances. The Philly comes off a really good race in the Kentucky Oaks.

She'll get some play. Yeah, I think there's going to be about four to five or even money. So you alluded to the Philly's secret oath. How do if you were to pick like one of the triple crown races that Philly's tend to fare the best and would it be the pregnes? Yes, we haven't had a Kentucky Derby a Philly that's won the Kentucky Derby since winning colors in 1988. Before that, it was genuine risk in 1980.

Before that, you had to go way back into the teams like regret. So, you know, you don't it doesn't happen very often. But we saw Rachel Alexandra, for example, beat the boys in the in the pregnes. I think that was 2009, very impressively. But I do think that the pregnes is usually a better race for Philly's. Yeah, I think it's Kentucky. I think it's six times a Philly is one of the pregnes,

which is more than the other two. So now in terms of the price for a Philly, for people who don't know horse racing, Philly is a female horse. It usually does like float up on race day. Do you think there's a little bit of value in a Philly at the pregnes? Who when you sit there on Saturday and you're watching the price float up, you're like, Hey, this horse is really good. People are just not betting it because it's a Philly.

She's gotten so much publicity because of her Kentucky Oaks win and because of and because of Wayne Lucas. And she's run against the boys before in the Arkansas Derby right before the Oaks. Yeah, I don't think I kind of doubt that her price is going to float up that much just because she's a Philly. I think she'll be a good price simply because epicenter, in my opinion, is going to be four to five or even money. Yeah, yeah, and that's going to drive the price up on everybody else.

So I think she'll probably be six to one or so by the time they by the time they open the gate, maybe once the square bets start to come in on Saturday morning. And it's all the Johnny come lately is in their internalized misogyny. Yes. Then the price up a little bit. And then we strike, then we're the new girl boss. Yeah, all the jacks out there betting on happy jack. Yes, yes. No, I mean, it's a it's a real thing is we can maybe get a nice price.

Is there a different. So we say like sharps and squares all the time when we're talking about, you know, sports gambling, is there an analogous term to horse racing for like some jackass that doesn't know what he's doing versus a guy that really knows the ponies? Yeah, dumb money is what it's been called in horse racing forever. You got the wise guys who know what they're doing and you get the dumb money. And what's interesting in the whole arc of thoroughbred racing

is that, you know, back in the I'm getting real deep into the weeds here, but back in the real hay day of horse racing, the 40s and 50s, 60s, even 70s. There wasn't a lot of options for people that wanted to gamble, right? Vegas wasn't really Vegas. It was for the rat pack, maybe, but it wasn't that, you know, commercially available to most people to jump on a junket and go to Las Vegas. Lotteries weren't really in existence. I guess if you lived in a big city and you want to play the numbers

on the street, you could. But for the most part, anybody that really wanted to gamble went to the racetrack. So there was a lot of people like to gamble. So there was a lot of dumb money being bet in horse racing. And it was possible to do really well if you were a horse player that knew what you were doing and really, really paid close attention. Now, in thoroughbred racing, one of the challenges for betters, for big betters, is that a lot of that dumb money has been siphoned away.

They're playing slot machines at the casino, right? Or, you know, they're playing the lottery or they've got so many other options to scratch their gambling itch instead of horse racing, which requires a lot of work, a lot of homework. So now you get wise guys betting against wise guys and horse racing predominantly, and it makes it a lot tougher for those people who try to do this for a living. I think sometimes people get intimidated by the racing sheet. Like, I remember the first time I went to a horse track.

I was like, that looks like you're asking me to do my taxes. I don't want to do paperwork. I want to I want to make money. You know, like there's a machine right over here. I can press a button, a wheel spins and then music plays and then coins come out. That's a lot. Like I am the dumb money that you want betting on horse racing. Just like if you want to do this, simplify, simplify. One of the challenges in horse racing right now, you just nailed it.

People don't even want to pick their own lottery numbers for crying out loud. They do quick kick. Exactly. And now you're asked and now you're asking them to decipher all of this stuff in the racing forum. And, you know, I will say the people that do try to learn this and really make an effort to study horse racing and try to figure it out. You'd be surprised at the percentage that get hooked on it.

That hooked is probably a bad word. They don't become compulsive gamblers, but they really they really develop a fondness for the sport and they become and they become big fans. But the problem is just getting past that initial hump of getting people to want to spend the time to learn about the sport and how to bet. It's also, I think there's a intimidation factor of just how you have like the actual bets themselves. People don't usually know how to do exotics, which make it a lot of fun.

I the reason why I love horse racing is there's something about the rhythm to all right, we're going to go to the track all day. It's race. It's 30 minutes looking at the, you know, the sheet, it's race. It's like that rhythm is something just, you know, it's just a great way to spend seven or eight hours where you're, it's just like, all right, here comes the next race, here comes the next race. And you have those 30 minute gaps in between where you can have a drink,

but you're also studying for the next one. It's just, it's a great day to spend a summer afternoon. I agree. And, and time flies when you're doing that and you're, and you're really into, you know, studying and all that. And whereas if you play the stock market or something like that, you know, you got to wait a while or let's say even better football game. You got to wait three hours to see if you win or lose.

We're racing, you get a verdict every half hour and, and you move on. Yeah. You get a lot of action that way. It is the best. It's not like casino action, best and furious, but it, you know, it's, there's a certain allure to it, the pace. I agree. All right.

So let's talk a little Friday. Black Eyed Susan. You'll see Randy Moss on TV. We need some picks or any, any race that you like, because we're going to take them, you've never, you've never steered us wrong two times in a row. You know, you can't, you can't blame you for the derby because I think everyone was like, what the, who the hell was that horse? Was there any actual analyst out there that said, like, keep your eye on

rich strike, this horse could make some noise. I know no one's talked about him, but I like him. No, no. Yeah. It really was no, I knew one guy who bet it and it was one of our security guys and he, he bet it, but then I looked at like his hand. He had every single horse. So I was like, all right, well, I mean, it's good hit, but you also had every

other horse. I feel like Eddie O would show up after the race. Be like, I actually had him. Yeah. I had that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there, there is, there was somebody on our NBC announcing crew whose wife

was at the Kentucky Derby who went up to make a bet on number two and accidentally made a bet on number 21 and wound up, wound up in the chips. Wow. So that turned out to be pretty, you know, that's a pretty fun thing there. Yeah. That's it's either people just blindly betting on the longest shot on the board or it's people that kind of fall into it that way. Yeah.

No, our, the guy, I know who bet it, he went up and the teller was like, the only horse I haven't seen bet all day is number 21. He's like, all right, put, put 20 bucks on it. Yeah. So that's the exact same way. Exactly. Uh, to me, I think I'll give you a horse that I like in the black-eyed Susan. It's a, it's a local horse, a Maryland horse.

You don't get that many of those that win the pregness of the black-eyed Susan. Her name is Luna Bell. She's won five races in a row and because she is a local horse and the out of towners are coming in, you might get a slightly better prize. You might get four to one. You might get nine to two. Uh, she's the second choice in the program line right now. Now, as far as other races here, here's what I'm going to do.

Right. Uh, whereas at the Derby, we knew who was going to run a couple of weeks out. Preakness, we didn't really know until the entries came out and the past performances came out Monday night. So on some of the undercard races, I'm still trying to formulate who I like and who I don't like, but I'm going to text you big cat. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to let you know.

All right. When we get a little closer to, to, to zero hour, uh, and then maybe you can share it with your, uh, millions and millions and millions of followers. I will tweet it out. Yeah. The old, we were going to be on a flight for an hour on Friday. So as long as we can, I think we'll be okay, but I will absolutely, I'm going to play the horses both days.

So I'll absolutely tweet it out. I actually, let me ask you this real quick. Uh, you know, this is my last question, but, uh, you have kids, my daughter turns one on Saturday. I think there's going to be a birthday party. I know there's going to be a birthday party. How there, there's something about having horse racing on at a one-year-old's birthday party that probably isn't the best look.

How would you manage that when you, when your kids were young? Uh, take, take your phone into the restroom and, uh, and, uh, frequent intervals, people will think you've got some sort of a problem with your bladder, but it's probably the best way to do it. I've, I've actually been in that same position and that's what I did. Yeah. Because it's, it's, um, you know, my job is to watch sports. So when we have, you know, family over friends or whatever, and there's a football

game, I'm like, Oh, okay, you're doing your job. Something about horse racing, people looking and they're like, what, why are you yelling at the TV at noon on a Saturday? It's like, all right, that's a little bit harder to explain. Now, when you go into the bathroom and suddenly people hear you shouting and then you come out, they'll look at you. Kind of sideways, just make sure to wipe your nose a lot, right? When you get out of the bathroom, that should go.

I think I just got to go with, with what always works is if I win, then you don't have to apologize because if you win, you can have horse racing on all day. And if you're, if you're cashing tickets, no one can say anything. That's a good point. Yeah. You can also be like, look, you love ponies. Look at the ponies on the TV. Are they pretty?

Look at the pretty ponies root for the root for the Philly in the, in the previous, there you go. Yeah. Get the kids involved, right? Yes. Yes. Uh, I got one last question and this is probably a very dumb question, but do horses ever get endorsements and sponsorships from like athletic company?

Like has a horse ever been sponsored by Nike? No, I don't, I don't believe so. Uh, riders have, and I know there have been some owners that have, uh, that have pursued that sort of thing, uh, as far as succeeding to any great extent, no. But riders now, you notice they have all sorts of, uh, of emblems and logos and all that on their, on their riding pants. And they'll be wearing the ball caps and things like that. So the jockeys take advantage of that way more than the horses.

I just feel like that's the next step for, for sports marketing. That's how you get the kids. Interest is you, you put a swoosh on the back of a horse and all of a sudden they're like, Oh, I recognize that logo. I like that horse or like NASCAR just put stickers on the horses as the, as they're racing, right? You get one on one side sponsored the horses. I like that.

Yeah, it would be very funny. Mugsy jeans on the horse's ass. Well, Randy, thank you. Um, good luck. And I'm, I'm looking out for that text. So I better get that text and I will, I will tweet it. I will tweet it out. So everyone has it.

Uh, we'll say I'm going to tweet it out 10 minutes before whatever race it is. So people have to be ready to go so that we don't, you know, I think, I think, I think people trust you so much that if I tweet out a Randy Moss pick, we could, we could be betting like a one to two and that would suck. So, um, so you're going to, you're going to tweet it out from the bathroom at your one year old's party. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. Just regular dad stuff. No big deal. Okay. All right. Well, thanks so much, Randy. And everyone tune in Friday and Saturday. Randy would be on TV.

We'd love to see him there. And thanks again, Randy. See you, Randy. Yeah. Randy Moss is brought to you by the Barstool store. You can now find Barstool merch in stores and online at Academy Sports and Outdoors. They've got Barstool Sports hoodies, teas, tanks, hats and bucket hats.

You can find new Barstool exclusives along with fan favorites and best sellers. They got the Saturdays for the boys, bucket hats, hoodies and t-shirts. It's bucket hat season. Protect your ears. Don't be like Rory McElroy getting all sunburned out there. It's bucket hat season and you can find Saturdays or for the boys, bucket hats at Academy. They've also got our classic Barstool logo hoodie and so much more.

Go to academy.com to shop now or go to an Academy store. Love Academy. You spend a lot of time in Academy when I lived in Austin. It's a great store. Got a little bit better. They've got Barstool merch there. Go to academy.com or go in person to shop now. And now here's Nick Coletti.

And now for something completely different. Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest. He is a star on the internet. He's on TV shows. You are, I mean, you are a Vine star. That's what started everything, which we want to get into. He's also a stand-up comedian is Nick Coletti.

People who are on the internet, definitely know who you are. People who don't should because you're absolutely hilarious. And welcome to the show. We got to start though with, I got to thank you. I don't think you don't even know that we're going to thank you, but I'm going to thank you. Okay. So this show, we've been doing the show for like six years now.

PFT and I are a little older. These guys, the producers, Liam and Hank are a little younger. And the first moment where I was like, I got to start listening to these guys when it comes to like trends and things online so that I can kind of keep. Not young, but at least know what's going on was sawdude. It was, it literally was like, they were like, you guys got to like, watch this kid. He's so funny. That's awesome.

And so thank you. I appreciate it because it was it reaffirmed that they know what they're talking about and you are hilarious. Thank you. I appreciate it. So can we, I'm not that funny. Well, can we talk about how that came about the phenomenon? Are we allowed to like swear and talk about shit? Fuck anything. We were just stoned.

It's pretty much it. Yeah. There's not, people think there's like, you know, it's pretty much it. Yeah, sick. People think there's like this, yeah, this like formula to it, but it really was just like a high thought. Yeah, just acting stupid, smoking.

Say no more. Like, I get it. Like we've all been there before that. My problem is sometimes when I have these high thoughts and I like, I start cracking up and I'm like, oh man, this is so funny. Yeah. The second I say it outside of that immediate room that I'm in, outside of that same crew, I realized like, wait a second,

I was just really high. That's not actually funny. But like, in this case, it transcended it. Yeah, it it's the weird thing about the Internet. It's like, sometimes a doll just the stars align and so dude was born. Yeah. So was there a moment where you were like, wait, this is actually picking up and people are using like idiot podcasters that are in their thirties

or talking about it. We we literally posted the video and then the next morning I woke up and my friend was like, dude, it has three million views in his vine. Right. Yeah. Yeah, getter. He was the other like component of so dude. And who's also part of real bros.

Yeah, from there, it just like totally went crazy. Yeah, I miss Vine, man. I do. I'm sure you do. Like like Vine is Vine was one of those things that was like almost too beautiful to have. Right. You look back on it, you're like, it was so pure.

You had to be funny and people like there was a lot of hate on Vine stars, I think at the time, there were some ridiculous human beings that got famous on Vine for sure. Yeah. But like the fact that people were able to produce content that had to have a beginning, a middle and an end and be engaging and entertaining within a six second time period was actually good for creativity, I think.

Oh, yeah. Well, just that parameter like kind of forces you to do stuff that you normally wouldn't try because what's your what's your all time favorite vine? My all time favorite vine has to be. There's one that Casey Fry does there. It's like a there's two. There's an Evan Breen Vine and a Casey Fry Vine.

Yeah. That I love. I like the one I actually think mean big cat made a vine out of the same moment, which was Jim Harbaugh talking to James Winston about sex. You got a sex problem. You did to the sex is a sex addict is a sexer. Is he a sexer? He is a big time sex.

Are you still friends with Casey Fry? Yeah. And and what's Hank, you just asked because Hank is a big fan of yours as well. No, I was just going to say, like, I love his dancing videos. And like, obviously, you guys are boys like, do you ever like, you know, practice with him like, yo, I should I should maybe start doing some dancing videos like I haven't. I leave the dancing to Casey.

I I've asked him for a couple. I'm like, hey, how do you do the moonwalk? And he'll like help me out with that. But and he obviously like dances all the time. Yeah. He's just like a dancing guy because he makes it. You know, sometimes you're like, he doesn't look like a dancer. But then he's obviously like this dude practices.

If he does, he'll like go to the like the studio. He treats it like he's great. Great dancer. He trains in the studio. Yeah. One thing I always was curious about your your vines because they're so funny and you can watch them on YouTube. There's compilations. And I think I saw a compilation that was like three hours long,

which is 15 second videos, three hours of them. But six seconds or six seconds. Yeah, six. I was thinking that was that's correct. And people 15 second was his Instagram stories. Yeah. Yeah. And I think TikTok's 15 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Right. So six seconds and a lot of them are you by yourself. Would you do a lot of your comedy where you're not around other people? Like, do you like I like being around other people. So whenever I'm not around other people for a long time, it's like, oh, I don't, you know, I'm trying to look to like bounce off ideas and everything. How are you able to do it just by yourself? I think it's I think it's balance, like exposing yourself to like a lot of people, like real life, just situations, just to I mean,

you need shit to make fun of. Right. So but then you can, you know, seclude yourself, be alone and just kind of like let loose. That was all when I lived at my parents' house. I was like eight between 18 and like 21. So and just making the vines. Yeah. Just like waking up and making like I'd make like three every day. It's funny because like I I'm more of like, I guess like I can tell if I'm

writing something, I can tell if it's funny if I'm writing it. But if I'm like doing a video, I can't tell just by like, I need other people to like see it to know like what works and what doesn't. Yeah. I'm the opposite. Like I cannot write at all. So you just you'll watch a video that you shoot and it'll like when you laugh like before you upload it. I like if it gives me like a chuckle or I'm like, haha, like even that

there's just enough to be like, all right, I'm going to post because 90% of the time you post something that you think is hilarious and it gets no love. Yeah. And then you post something that you think is just not funny at all. And it like like so, dude, like I didn't think that was going to be a thing at all. So it's really just like kind of trial and error. What's the weirdest, you know, you you were living in Hollywood at that time, right in the L.A. was the weirdest like agent or someone who came up to you

was like, let's market saw, dude, do this, this or this with it. They actually, I don't really know if there was that. I think we were going to do a vape juice brand deal. Which I'm so glad that kind of didn't go through. But I think that was the extent of like we made merch. That was right. We we made a bunch of I just imagined some Hollywood agent being like, let's make a let's make a world tour movie about this.

Sudd world tour. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It was a sudden cereal. Sudd cereal. Yeah. Yeah. That actually sounds pretty good. Yeah. Frosted sus. Yeah. Frosted dudes. It's sus as hell. That's funny. Are you a you're a big mushroom guy, right? I am like actual mushrooms. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but like mushrooms that you find and forge. Yeah. So I this is like a recent thing. I I move back to the East Coast and my cousins are all very into like foraging. So this is so funny that I'm like so into this. But I just like totally got into it. Like there's these specific mushrooms. Morels, they're like hard to find.

So we just go and look in the woods. Smoke Delta 8. Yeah. Fine mushrooms. Where do you look for mushrooms? Where are they? They are around dead or dying elm trees. This is like no, I'm interested. Yeah. Are you? Yeah. This is what the podcast is about.

I mean, not a lot of people can walk in here being like, yeah, I just go look for mushrooms. They are they're very hard to find. Like well, not hard to find. They're they're pretty. They don't look like any other mushroom, but they're rare. So how many times you found them? I've found them twice.

And are they do they taste great? They taste delicious. Really? You're amazing. Like, do you eat everything that you find or do you sell them? I eat. I definitely don't sell them. That's like the most sustainable, organic thing you could eat. Right? Yeah. You picked it yourself. I have a dumb question there.

When you pick that, are they that like trippy mushrooms after you find them? Are they just normal? No, they're just like they're called delicacy mushrooms. So like you just cook them up with butter and you can put a fucking steak. No, when you hit when you when you found the jackpot of finding them, like, have you gone back to that spot?

Or like, no, really? Because you just like I pillage the whole supply. Like it's all they're all gone. Could you could you theoretically grow them yourself? Yeah, you could. But it's not to send me the hottest part of it. Yeah, me and my cousin go in the woods, throwing us in. Yeah, I have my Delta 8 pen.

Sounds awesome. You want us in? I got one. Yeah. What's the three or six? It's a six. OK. Is that cool? I haven't done the six. So all right, three. I'm a three or two. I go to the store that's right across the street almost every day. I get my zen and the guy in there bullies me every time I go in.

He's like, are you up to the sixes yet? I'm like, no, just the three. My cousins say they sting. They do sting a little bit. Last time I went in there, the guy took out the threes. There was a woman in line in front of me. He saw me come in, took out the threes, handed them to the woman in line in front of me and goes, here you go.

And she goes, I didn't ask for that. He goes, oh, yeah, my mistake. The three is there for him. Works for Big Z. He works for Big Z. Yeah. But he throws in and hit the woods. And this is around Pittsburgh around the Berg.

Yeah. Yes. So there's like a very hilly and all that stuff. It's prime time right now for morale. So I watched a documentary about about mushrooms a couple of months ago. I guess like the oldest thing that I've ever said, I could not be more watched just in the show after I said that since can't recover from that. But it was actually like fantastic

because this dude was talking about how mushrooms grow on the earth and how they actually act as the earth's central nervous system. And they can like feel seasons changing and like temperatures changing. And they actually help the earth adapt to it. This guy might be full of shit, but it like absolutely tripped me out. Yeah, it was actually on shrooms when I found the morels. So I think they can I think they can speak to each other.

Oh, like work through you in a mysterious way. Are you sure? Are you sure that you found morels? Or was this all just like one big huge trip? No, it was definitely I definitely found them. I definitely at the moment, though, I was like, am I is this peaking too hard? Like, is this actually happening? But they were good. What what made you move away from LA back to Pittsburgh?

I I was just kind of like I lived kind of by Malibu by the beach and no one else, none of my other friends live there. So it was like super lonely. And I was just like fucking rather be around my family. So my whole family lives in Pittsburgh. You could have just moved closer to your friends, right? But I only had like two friends anyway, that I actually really who were they? Casey. Yeah.

And then my homegirl from Pittsburgh, Cassie. Casey and Cassie. Oh, wow, that's cool. Yeah. So it's easy to remember. Yeah. Is it is the vibe like completely different in California? Were you somebody that moved out there and like you were able to like, I know, adjust to it or are you you immediately dug it? Or is it just kind of like the Hollywood phonies? Is that a real thing? Yeah, for sure.

And I think I have a pretty good read on I mean, being from the East Coast, like you can kind of call bullshit, I think, better than most people can. So like my whole thing is like out here, like you bump into someone, you're like, hey, fuck you, then it's over. Like LA, you bump into someone and then they fucking email you a list of reasons why they need to understand why it's just a totally different vibe. Yeah. East Coast. I like the pace out here. Yeah. A lot better.

Yeah. The pace out there is weird. It felt like like purgatory or some weird fucking shit. It does feel like you're not living with like the rest of the world when you're in LA. There's something about community is, I think, the word. There was really no sense of community. That's in is kind of fucking you up, huh? You have to move it around. I saw you. I saw you do the move around move where you're like, no, let's try it over here.

Yeah, I'm getting it. I'm getting it all around. That's the sixes. All right, well, I guess I have to have one if we're all going to do it. Zen party. God damn it. Why? Wait, so so are you going to have to move? You're going to have to be back out to LA for hopefully the last season of Real Bros, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm that's the great thing about like the Internet and shit. Like you can be remote. I don't have to be anywhere.

I can catch a flight and go to whenever I need to work. So I mean, that's one of my favorite shows. And we had Jimmy on, I don't know, three years ago, the first time. And I think the first time we had him on, we pretended that we had watched it, but we didn't watch it. And then afterwards I watched it and I was like, holy fuck, this is the funniest thing ever. I wish I had watched it before.

That's hilarious. We've had him on like five times since then. But that show is so goddamn funny. Yeah, he he killed it with that shit. And yeah, him and Christian went above and beyond. It's so I asked him because he's from LA. And a lot of the show, I think, goes against my fears. I have I have fear of like California teenagers. Is that a real thing?

Like when you see teenagers in California, like like she's do a three six. Do you walk the other way? They just live life way faster than everyone else feels like. Yeah, they're like skateboarding at four. Right. Right. Having sex at like 12. Right. They have hats that cost more than my entire wardrobe. Board with weed by 14.

Yeah, they're already on to like. Yeah, yeah. MDMA. Yeah. Right. Right. Do you like? Do you think they're already on to Kratom? Kratom. Have you gotten into Kratom? No. Kratom's the worst. I haven't done it, but I've heard it helps you do your homework faster. Oh, does it really? I think it's like a focus aid.

I don't know about that. Really? What do you think of Adderall? So I did. I tried. I tried like half of a bottle of it. Oh, I spit it out. Here we go. We're tapping out. Can't hang. I had to tap out. I'm already I'm buzzing super hard.

I tried like half a bottle of it last summer and I sipped it. It tastes disgusting. And then after I was done with it, I was like, there's no way that this should be legal. Like this is this just did you feel high? Yeah, yeah, you feel like if you've ever had like wisdom tooth surgery, they give you the Vicodin or the Percocinac. No way. That's how it feels.

It felt like I was on an opiate. And I was like, this is there's no way. Is it? Do they sell crack? Create them around here? Yes. Oh, OK. Do you know where? Yes. But I don't want to tell you

because I don't want to get you hooked on this stuff. Create it out. Yeah, I get, dude, it's it's a bad scene. I yeah, my homegirl one time was like, we were going out and she was like, take this. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And she's like, it's great. I'm like, I'm good. I don't need that.

Yes, it's it's weird. Like I feel like there are all these new designer drugs coming out recently that are just like extremely like similar to drugs that we know are illegal, but just like to change one molecule. And then they wait for the FDA to be like Delta 10. Yeah, Delta 10. Sorry, it's gone.

You should just make Delta 8 like your own version of it, but just call it Delta 9. Yeah, well, Delta 9 is actual weed. Oh, OK. Got it. That makes sense. So 8 and 10 are like the loophole. But 9 is the real shit. Delta 20.

If you make Delta 20. Oh, my god. Fuck it. Delta 100. Oh, damn, you just outsold me. Now, do you miss California weed? I'd imagine it's good. But I mean, we I know people who can get good weed in Pittsburgh. So yeah, I'm not sure.

Plus, I really don't like smoke. I I feel like when I was smoking in California, I was like trying to prove a point, like I fucking smoke. Now I'm just like, yeah, I like it. Like I like to smoke an appropriate amount. Right. It's like a mature, a mature interest. As you get like through your 20s, weed stops becoming like you're defining personality, right?

Yeah, it becomes just an activity. Well, it's a fork in the road. It's like, is this going to be my entire personality? Yeah, that's super true. It's going to be just an activity. Yeah, am I going to be at the 311 tribute band? Right. Yeah. Backstage. Yes, yes, yes.

Because I feel like you hit a point like in your 30s where if you're going to be the weed is my personality guy, you just have to only hang out with weed is my personality. Right. You have to own it. Yeah, you just have to be around those people all the time. How many 311 tribute bands do you think there are? They're called 420. Oh, my God, yes. Probably like a hundred. Yes.

Yeah, I mean, 311 tribute band just sounds. That honestly sounds like an awful night. Like there's certain tribute bands that I could go see and suspend disbelief. Prince. Yeah, like a Prince tribute band would be awesome. I went to go see a Queen tribute band one time. Nice. And the singer was incredible. Sounded like Freddie Mercury.

That was a that was an awesome evening, but like a 311 tribute band. I feel like that's what would make me reconsider some of my life choices. Yes. Yeah, I found myself there. Spiked hair. Yeah. The dude looks just like Essay. What? So you're on a stand up tour right now.

I am. You're not with like a whole crew. I'm not. So you just go like your dates. You're going. I'm looking at your website right now. You're in New York right now. If you want to see Nick, he's going to Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas City. You're going everywhere back to New York.

So you're just traveling by yourself. Yeah, I just do it to show up. I kind of like that. Yeah, we've had some comedians on and like they have their ground crew. Yeah, right. That's cool. But I mean, I'm I'm my dad's always like, just be like an F F 14, F 16. F 14 by like just solo and it's like 16. F 14 has the real.

OK, thank you. F 16 single-seater. But I've really found that people are distracting and most of the time let you down. Yeah. So it's like five. I'm just going to do this myself. I don't have to worry about people like fucking up their boarding pass because it's always stupid shit like that.

Right. Ever like. So it's it's been good. I, you know, waking up an hour to the day. But do you have friends in every one of these cities or no? Are you just some of them? You're just that's I kind of like that. Yeah, going to explore a city by yourself. It's like a tourist.

Yeah, for the first it's I've seen like pretty much all of America. And it's fucking like a blessing. Favorite place underrated that people don't think of. Oh, God, I don't know. There's a lot of places like that. Texas was really cool because I always had this like like image of what Texas was going to be like. And I went there and it was totally fulfilled.

Like hats, fucking people just had guns. Like everyone had a gun. You kind of like that when your stereotypes are confirmed. Yeah. You're like, wow, everyone has a gun here. That's sick. Everything is bigger. Yeah. Everything's huge.

Everyone had a try. I swear to God, everyone had a truck. Everyone's got a truck and they have like the state of Texas flag on everything. Yes, down there. But I love that. I was like, this is great. This is awesome. The boots are a real thing too.

I've got a pair of Cabo boots in Denver. OK, not in Texas. Not in Texas. What other what other places like you went and you're like, yep, this is. Seattle was really cool. I like Seattle, the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, that's good. I know I'm like so bad at that shit.

But that was cool. Everywhere is like you hear all these stories about parts of America being like weird or like pretty much everywhere is like people just want to like, you know, it's everywhere is pretty normal. Like, yeah, I also have a theory that if you go to a place and it's oh, shit. Does it got me? Yeah. I just swallowed it.

Last man swallowed it. Oh, he swallowed it. Oh, he swallowed it. That's not good. It's a medical emergency. I'm good. Oh, go P.F.D. Fight through it. Fight through it. Big cat. I think I swallowed the bag.

When did you decide? When did you realize that you were funny? I still don't think I'm funny. I think I make myself laugh. Yeah. But I don't think I'm like objectively like a hilarious person. So do you ever like go to shows and you're like, why are you guys all here? Yeah, I mean, there's definitely like a sense of the whole impulse with it. Are you? It's gone. No, it's gone.

I swallowed it. I'm pretty sure I swallowed it. That's good. Jesus. It's good for your digestive system. Yeah. Do they put fiberglass in that shit? Probably. Damn it.

I don't think the Zen industry is too closely regulated. The problem is the pouches I have are bigger. Those are so small that I just swallowed it. Fuck. Did you really swallow it? Yes. That's so bad. I like like that was bad. I wish it happened to Jake

because he would check himself into poison control. Yeah, like I did. I tip all the time, but their pouches are big. That one is my first time I've ever had Zen that's so small. I didn't even notice it was going down my throat. What happens? Well, now you're going to have like the delayed release buzz all day. You're going to be buzzing for the rest of the day.

This is going to be sick. But you basically just took Adderall. Yeah, what I was going to say was I have a theory that if you go to any city and the weather is nice on that day, it's the greatest place in the world. Yeah. Like if you go to a place and it's 60 degrees and sunny, you could go to like a place everyone would say is, oh, that's a shitty place.

And you're there and you're like, I can see myself living here. Yeah. And then it's obviously reverse. If you like if it's raining, you're like, oh, this place kind of sucks. Right. It's like, do they have a shell so that I can get a bang energy at cool? I'm cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really like being like the models more.

I just like drinking bang. Yeah, I'll say it. Yeah. I'm a banger. What what what makes you be a bang guy and not a C4 guy? Because I'm a C4 guy. OK, I don't even know if this is true, but doesn't bang have like creatine in there or some shit. Super creatine.

I think C4 has super creatine, too. Oh, OK. I just know when I drink a bang, I just do those extra reps. Yeah. Yeah. Your real workout fiend. I've had been so I stopped drinking like it's going to be three months soon. So I just work out now because you just wanted to or. Yeah, I was just like drinking too much. OK. Yeah. I'm I'm on the.

I never know if I should be like congrats on your sobriety. No, it's all good. I just and I there's so much I still want to do with comedy. And I'm like, this isn't going to take me to where I want to be. Yes. What do you want to do? What's next? I just want I want to do like movies like Adam Sandler is like you can call him cheesy or whatever, but he's built a fucking empire.

Yeah, I definitely envy that. The thing I like about Adam Sandler is he he's a very loyal dude. He brought like all his friends David Spade are taking care of Rob Schneider. Yes, films, movies and legendary guests. I totally will. You bring up. I'll bring. Yes, we're all going. I'm the guy who's all the Zinn live on air.

Zinn guy, Pia Pooft. This is ridiculous, by the way. I'm on the Zinn website. He's a bad trying to figure out what happens when you swallow. I'm putting mine back in. I have to take another one. I've had to answer like nine questions enter in like a password.

I had to register for an account to get to the website to see what happens. When I kind of feel like a badass. I just swallowed it. You kind of are. You're an outlaw. It is way too small. I have to imagine people swallow this all the time. But they get you buzzed. Yeah, they do. I'm just like small.

We're going to put like 18 plus on this episode. FAQs. What do you think there will ever be a point where Jimmy gets so big he won't return your call? Yeah. Yeah. He's there already. You think so? Calm. I said, Jimmy, this is my son. Calm. Let's see if you respond. I said, Jimmy, this is my son.

Name him. Yeah. Face timing. Let's see if you respond. This would be great. Well, Zinn nicotine pouches aren't intended to be swallowed. The nicotine and other food grade ingredients found in Zinn are not harmful to adults if consumed in small quantities. So just just don't swallow this one. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Don't overdo it. That's all too. Right. I'm Face timing, Jimmy. All right, let's see if he doesn't pick up. Now, the big test would be if I face him after and he picks up for me and not you. Right. That's true. That would hurt. Oh, wow. Face time is funny because sometimes we get like nine rings and then it's like connecting. Yeah, he's probably on set.

He's probably with like Kevin or some shit. All right. Kevin Hart. Should I try? He tried. He answers Jimmy's face. I was like, you got a project, I'll do it. The rock is in the background holding Kevin. I feel like they just travel together all the time. Right. They're in everything.

They make a bigger person when Kevin gets on Dwayne's shoulders. Yeah, that's what me and Big Cat do, too. They're going to make a super actor. I know I'd be sad. We shouldn't tell him we were together. That's true. See who he calls back first. We're just going to do this for the next three hours.

He's just going to ghost both of us. He is too big a time now. It's not a big deal. Actually wrote down some topics that I wanted to discuss. All right, let's go. Yes, beautiful. Love it. OK. Came prepared. This is great. Oh, wait, Jimmy's calling me back.

Oh, shit. He called me. Jimmy has to call you. I'm on part of my take. I wanted to FaceTime you. They they wanted to say what's up part of my pick up. What's up? How are we doing, Jimmy?

We're good. Good. Got it. You would. Where are you at? Put it on the mic. I'm not an appointment. I'm not to see what I'm allergic to. Oh, OK. Damn. What?

Yeah, I'm not to get picked by an allergist. You know, she would see with cars and all these hours. It might might be the cocaine. What? Oh, nothing. Nothing. You could just say plastic surgeon, Jimmy. It's not a big deal. We know you're a Hollywood actor. Are you in New York right now?

Yeah, yeah. Are you going to stand up to it? Yeah, I am. It's going great, dude. Trying to heal the world one joke at a time. I love that. Thank you, Jimmy. I love you, dude.

I'm good now. I'm in LA. We just pitched. We just pitched real brothers to some networks. Yeah, name the names. And. You know, we're still hoping for the best here. We're still waiting to hear back. That's awesome.

Someone pick it up. Yeah. Yeah. And we we're going to be a cameo. We're getting a cameo in it. Yeah, hell, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to have to. I want to be the guy that sells fake weed. Yeah, they're making a cameo in season four. Yes. Yes. Hell, yeah. Yes. I want to break my ankle on a skateboard.

What? He wants to break his ankle on a skateboard. I'm cool with that. OK, perfect, perfect. All right, you can let him go. I feel bad. Hey, man, have a great appointment. We love you. I love you guys. All right, see you, Jimmy. See you, dude. Oh, we were talking to Jimmy about how Real Bros is on every single streaming service last time. Yeah, is it actually?

Well, it's just like every season's in a different place. Oh, yeah. But I hope what they do with this series of pitches, I hope that every every network picks it up. And I hope every episode is on a different network. So just like finally get check all the boxes. I hope the awesome. They should do that with Harry Potter, because it's like a magical idea.

Yeah. Yeah. So what? Yeah, what do you got? Oh, I got some good. I actually don't know if I can talk about one. I don't want to hurt hurt anyone's feeling. No, you can talk about whatever. All right. Farting on the hot seat. I thought that was hilarious.

Thank you. The farting soccer player. Why? Oh, you listen to the last episode. Yeah, yeah. Nice. I feel like the only one you listen to. I listen to some clips. OK, nice. Nice. You did your research. Got it. I did. What do you think about Billy's question to Ryan Whitney?

I didn't get that far. OK, all right. So you listen to 20 minutes. I got to the Raising Canes ad read. OK, all right. Is there Raising Canes in New York? Soon to be in Times Square. OK, cool. Nice. Yeah, I have a whole list here.

Visible, I've worked with them. Cool. Cool company. I was like, we have something in common. Yep. Let's see other thing. This is very Costanza-like. Oh. Oh, on the way here, I saw a lot of fixed gear bikes

and girls with mullets. Whoa, OK. So I just wanted to say that. Oh, OK. Like I walk rate rate. I'm staying like in Times Square. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've never actually walked around New York.

So this is all the fixed gear bike thing is all like a total culture shock. When you come to new cities by yourself, do you do like touristy stuff? Yeah, well, I guess not like a bus tour or something, but I'll just go walk around and kind of just get like the perspective of a person. The walking of city is my favorite thing to do. It's awesome. It really is.

Like just picking a direction and being like, I'm just going to walk this way. I just take this one out. No mushrooms on this. You did? Yeah, I'm on 12. Wait, are these sixes? These are sixes. I'm on 12.

But I mean, you're on 12 with like factorial because you swallowed one. Mm hmm. It should be way more nervous. But I do consume a lot of nicotine. So I'm trying to put mine back. Is nicotine fuck with muscle growth? Yes, the wrong. Yeah, Billy would know about that.

I think it I think it trying to get huge. So I used I did dip when I was working out the other day. That was a bad idea. But then Billy, the guy that's our personal trainer, he's a big fitness guru. He was talking about how it like constricts your blood vessels and gives you better pump. But Billy thinks anything gives you better. Yeah, OK.

Wait, is that it? Was that the whole list? Oh, no, I had some other stuff. Yeah, let's let's get it. By the way, this is the row back list. Smoky by row back. R-H-O-B-A-C-K use code. Take for 20% off your first purchase.

Oh, no, he's taking out. I'm taking it out again. This is like second time. Musical chairs was in. I'm I would like to take my musicals in. Yeah, I wrote the lips row back.com. Use code take for 20% off. If you want a Q zip or a polo, we have it for you down.

OK, a Q zip or a quarter zip. Like, wow, you just said Q zip to me. We say it every episode. I was like, wait, what is the queue stand for? Quarter. Yeah, I know. Yeah, quarter zip of weed. Is that is that a name for? Oh, that would be an amount of marijuana.

No, a zip is like an ounce. Yeah. OK. That's a way cool term to use. Would be that Q zip would be a quarter is a quarter of an ounce. Yeah. OK, so ounces. What 32 is grams. Actually, we probably have both for you to a zip and thank you, Hank. Two eights is weed legal here.

Pretty much. OK. In Jersey, I went out of on Times Square. There was a little shop and they just gave me weed. You can see the fake. It's like they have the big like trucks with like weed on us. Probably don't actually sell it in by way. You bought spice. You bought two.

No, my back did hurt after I hit that shit. My back's been hurting like all day. I feel like we haven't heard about somebody like smoking spice and like jumping through a window recently. That was real hot for like that was like a 2009 thing. Yeah, Chandler Jones did it. That was a bath salts. Yeah.

Do you know anyone that ever took bath salts and had a good time? Every time somebody took bath salts, they'd like get arrested. Or eat someone was a. Remember crocodile? Yeah. Crocodile was in Russia and then also like parts of Missouri and Illinois, where it was essentially, I think people were like putting gasoline into their body like gasoline and vodka.

Wow, with a needle. It would give you scales. You know, trying to throw in your skin like your skin would like fall off. Not good. So didn't Steve will do it? Used to do crazy shit like that. Yeah. Drink a bunch of. Oh, he would do anything.

Did he ever do crocodile or jank him? Did he ever do jank him? I don't know if he did jank him. He probably tried jank him. He definitely jank him is the poop. It's poop, right? Yeah, I think I think Nick told me about that. We met Steve will do it.

Really? Dan Bilzerian's house. No. How about that first sentence? Yeah, that's like that's like what's that thing called? Mad Lib. Yeah, it's like a Mad Lib. L.A. Mad Lib. Yes, I met blank at Dan Bilzerian's house.

There's so many of those drugs that I hear about. And I think to myself, like, why why do people ever try it for the first time? Like, why would anybody try crack for the first time? I don't get it. Why would anybody inject crocodile for the first time? Yeah, right? Like, there was one dude who did it for the first time. Yeah, the Johnny Apple seed of crack.

Right. Oh, there's a CIA. Yeah, Johnny Crackle seed. Yeah. Yeah. So what else is on your list? My cousin told me to say Marty Mush. OK. All right. Next topic. Yeah, we'll go on.

Is that a thing? Yes, it's kind of. OK. By the time this airs, maybe like it's it's been past the whole thing. Oh, OK. Yeah. What was the whole? I don't I don't even know. He just told me to say that he's a guy who works here.

OK. Yeah. All right. What else you got? Hard 75. Oh, I've I've tried. I well know. I think I haven't gotten more than a day in. But hard 75 is it's like, you know how essentially I'm a bigger guy every now and then I'm like, I'm going to get back in shape.

And I look for like a new program that motivate me. I found hard 75. It was like every day you have to work out twice. You have to walk 90 minutes. You have to read 10 pages of book and you have to take a cold shower. Yeah. And it's hard. Workout. Yeah, it is hard. I've only done one day.

I did. Supposed to do 75. I did medium 75. Yeah. I did like it's like no cheat meals, too. Yeah. So I fucked that up. Yeah, you can tell that we're real voracious readers because I think Big Cat just said, like, you have to read 10 pages of book.

I did everything else. Yeah, I did everything else. I worked out for like five hours and then we got to the 10 pages of a book and I was like, nope, too hard. I think I did two days of actual reading. Yeah, I tried to read The Richest Man and Babylon. Learned about some finances. Yeah. OK. I do.

I do a thing where I just buy books. OK. So but I don't read them. You girls come over, you're like, I'm an avid reader. Yeah, I'm just like, what are you reading right now? There's books. Yeah. It's not one of those. We used to read a lot more as a society back when we didn't have cell phones, when we take shits.

Yeah, you would read anything. Right. You would read like a shampoo bottle. I used to do that. Yeah, shampoo bottles. I can tell you like how to rinse for Pete, the whole nine yards. Like like Bloomingdale's magazine. Xantham gum. Xantham gum was the real ingredients.

That was in everything. Totally. Yeah, we just don't read. We just look at our phones now. Yeah. OK. Is there anything else? That was it. I mean, it's been awesome.

Yeah. We appreciate you coming in. I appreciate you being here. I hope you know, like in terms of guests, we have a lot of guests who come through here. You were high on the list of people hitting me up being like, yo, is Nicoletti coming in? I fucking had a great time. I really appreciate it.

You have a lot of fans, big fans. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. That means a lot. Yes. Go check out his live show. Yes.

Check me out. How would you describe your live show? Just comedy. Got it. Just don't like to laugh. Don't need much more than that. It's not like me. I think people think it's going to be me doing the whole.

Mine out. You got to swallow it. I'm done. People think it's going to be me doing like vines stuff or like, so dude, but I actually have like a stand-up act and like jokes that I've written. So it's all right. I think, yeah.

Go check it out. Can you do like, oh, this is part of my take, so dude? Sure. This is part of my take. So dude. That's the perfect ending and also bookmark. Because I swear to God, like five years ago, it was like the first thing they were like,

hey, you should check this out. This kid is fucking hilarious. I appreciate it. Do you get sick of that? Do you like that whole meme from The Simpsons? Say the line. Say the line part. It's honestly, I just, there was a point where I was like,

yeah, this is like a little too much, but it's a fucking blessing. It makes someone happy. I'm like, sure dude, I'll do whatever you want. That's a good mindset to have. I'll do it for you. You also have the walking out of the barn with like all the weeds.

That one lives forever. Like no one knows, I just see that all the time. People would just be like, someone who's high. And then like, it's that video. Oh, OK, thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Well, Nick Coletti, thank you. Everyone check it out.

What's your website again? NickColetti.com. Easiest could be. Check out his comedy. He'll be everywhere. I just looked. It was literally everywhere. OK.

Spring and summer. All right. I don't even know if you know that. I don't. No, it's an extensive list. So yeah, NickColetti.com. Thank you. Thank you, Nick.

Thank you, man. Appreciate it. Nick Coletti is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Why would you buy a mattress made for someone else? With Helix, you're getting a mattress that you know will be perfect for the way that you sleep. They've got a quiz. It takes just two minutes to complete.

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That's helixsleep.com slash PMT. Okay, let's wrap up. Firefest of the week, Hank? Yes. Go. I have a couple. Okay. Do you want my, the least relatable

Firefest of all time or a relatable one? The least one. Let me guess. You know what it is. Your Mercedes broke down. No, I was gonna say, you're trying to chase the high of Tom Brady sucking your dick online and the Jumbotron at the Celtics game

and life just doesn't, roses don't smell as sweet. It is Celtics, Jumbotron, Parquet, seems related. Yup. You know, that's why it's not relatable. Oh, I know this one. But I do take film photos with my camera and Marcus Smart came over towards us after the game. We were sitting next to someone in his representation

or whatever and his fiance or wife and they're like, oh, let's take a picture and I was holding my camera and Marcus Smart was like, oh, shit, he's got the camera. And so we took a picture on a cell phone. He's like, no, no, no, you gotta get one with the camera. So I was like fucking pumped.

And I just handed it off to the guy that took the cell phone picture and the camera was like out of focus, but it was a quick thing. He kind of messed up the settings, took the picture and it just came out super, super blurry. So it's like almost worse because it's right there. And if the picture was in focus,

it would be an all time picture, all time. So you're, wait, just to clarify, your firefest is that even though, I warned you, I warned you guys. Even though your first picture turned out great. Oh yeah, totally fine. Which he posted onto his own Instagram and onto Twitter and tagged you in it.

That one was fine. It's not film. But the film one is a little blurry. You don't understand. Fine, Hank. I'm a filmmaker, I'm sorry. If you're upset with me, I did reference this, that it's the least relatable firefest of all time.

That's true. It's still gonna anger people. It's things. No, it'll anger people because Hank's right, like that sucks. It does. I'm sorry. It's brutal, dude.

I'm sorry this is happening. There's a high that I get, it truly is like, it's kind of crazy that taking film photos, all my photographer AWLs out there, I'm sure there's a bunch. But you take film photos and you get the email, it's like your photos are ready and you don't know because when you take them,

you don't know if they come out good or not. So it's a very exciting feeling to look through them and see which ones are good, which ones aren't. And getting to that, and it was the last picture of my camera roll, so I was like scrolling through, so nervous, so excited. And then getting to it and it was just blurry, it was just pain.

That's tough. That's brutal. But we do have the cell phone one, he did post-onsets. That is true. And on Twitter. And tag you. So your second firefest, is it that you have to pay

more taxes now that you're in the C-suite and you make $10 million a year? No, that's not it, I don't pay taxes. Oh, did I? One of those things. No, thanks to Sovereign Citizen. My internet, it's just absolutely mangled. Like I've troubleshooted it, I've unplugged it,

plugged it back in, rebooted it. Have you checked for squirrels? I have not checked for squirrels, that's what it felt like though. I've been in that mode this week where it's like, my internet's fucked up, I don't know the reason why, I don't know what I can do to fix it.

For people who don't know that reference, Barstool Sports, back in the day, our whole entire company almost came down because a squirrel was eating the wires in the main office. It could've been, we could've all just been not sitting here right now if that squirrel had finished the job. And it came back.

Like we had it, eventually it was like, I would get screamed at for the internet now working and literally like, finally I go back, find the router and there's like, it's chewed through by squirrels. And then we like, fix it, we thought we set it up, two months later it happens again. And meanwhile, literally every day, like Dave is just yelling at me,

like why is the internet fucked up? I'm like, I don't fucking know, like I'm not an internet guy. And I go and it's literally the squirrels and I would be like, it's the squirrels. That's a real conversation that would happen which is crazy thinking back. But that happened like on a regular basis,

like are the squirrels back? Yeah, this is basically the like business insider spent countless hours and days and resources to try to bring us down and a squirrel could have done it. Yeah. Like they don't realize. This little bitch, that squirrel. It could have brought a squirrel into the office

and probably taken us out. How long do you think it would take if everyone's internet went down? Like the world's internet went down. How long until? I think about that all the time. Utter chaos ensues. I think it would be.

10 minutes all along. Yeah, I'd say under 10 minutes. Because people would like probably run to ATMs and then the ATMs wouldn't work. Traffic lights would get fucked up. They're hooked up to the cloud probably. I got cloud problems, yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just like

every man for himself after about nine minutes. So yeah, it's just painful. I can't like play wars when I can't watch apps. Like it's just, it's a struggle. Sorry. You have to use your imagination cranking off. Sorry. Or watch on cable like.

Oh, yikes, yeah. Softcore. Gross. That's not true. Just TV and movies. Talk about little belly button fucking. Ooh, so stockings on. Back in the day.

Watching, you know. Nikki Fritz, RIP, I believe. That's it. That's an old school. Damn, Hank, sorry. Okay, Ryan, you're FireFest of the Week. So, I've been seeing this guy. And it's, I mean, this is long term.

And you know how like in every relationship, there's always somebody, the relationship seems to matter a lot more to. Yeah. Like no matter who you are, you can get along happily married. There's always somebody that has a 51, 49 split. And sometimes that splits even greater.

And it's getting to the point where like, I don't want to say, like, I'm not, I'm not trying to be a victim in this, but like you can care about somebody for so long. And then you wonder, I don't think this person cares about the relationship as much as I do. My friends are starting to ask questions,

things that I maybe have been blind about because I care so much. It's just a lot of people close to me reaching out and asking and I just don't know if I can go another year with Chris Paul. Ryan, how many texts have you received from people? Just being like, are you all right? Are you doing good?

Way more than I ever would have thought. Way more. So one part of it is positive that you're like, man, I do have a lot of friends. The other part is negative. It's like, people think I'm this messed up. Like some people were like, I didn't reach out immediately

because I just wanted to give it 48 hours. Well, it sounds like it's been a tough week. I guess I could just say one silver lining is he was injured. He was injured. And I just know if he's not, it can be different. Next time. Next time. There's always next time.

No, but I don't know. Is that just me? Is that just me thinking like, hey, if things were different, if you didn't drink as much, if you didn't golf all the time, would it be different? And I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what to do. Damn. Ryan, it's not you, it's him. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fair. It's him. It is him.

Because I know I'm doing everything I can. Yeah, you are. You are too much sometimes. You've gone out of your way to accommodate him in this relationship. Right, exactly. And frankly, he has not shown you the respect. If not for him, if he doesn't want it for himself,

if he's fine with having no rings and choking away all these big leads in the playoffs. Five, five times. And just not showing up ever in the NBA playoffs. I'm doing it again. I'm doing it again. Yeah, sorry. If he's fine with that for himself,

he should at least know that there's a man out there that believes in him so much that he's basically made it his entire brand to be, you're like a random burner account on Twitter like Chris Paul number one stan, ultimate defender. That's what you've gone to the links to brand yourself as. And if he doesn't respect you enough to show up for you, then I think it's best that you're just going

your separate ways and that you're alone. He doesn't deserve you, Ryan. That's what my friends keep saying. Yeah. You can do so much better. If I could though, for just a moment, permission to be candid granted. Can I push back a little bit on that number one

stan branding that you were throwing on me? Cause I think that's some of the biggest loser comment we see on the internet where I think I've been very pro Chris Paul. I don't know that I do one of those like every time somebody does something, I do a look go tweet. So I, yes, I've been supportive, but you know, Ryan, I listen, am I making excuses?

I'm going to leave you with one thing. Have you thought about maybe it's a big world out there. There's a lot of guys out there. Have you thought about rooting for a winner like Patrick Beverly? Oh, he's still hurt. Maybe you would, maybe you would make Chris mad. Maybe finally start Karen.

You need a rebound. You should become a Pat Bev stand. And then Chris Paul will use that as motivation to finally win something in his life. Honestly, a lot of us don't know what we have until it's gone. Yeah. I just don't know if I could do that to Chris at this age.

You got to, you have to run for your own sake. He doesn't deserve you. Like Pat, Pat Bev made some good points even on the second day. All right. Well, thank you, Ryan. We appreciate it. And we're always here for you, man. Yeah.

Just out of curiosity, one got to go. Chris Paul, LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Yannis. One got to go. One got to go. Shelter, water, companionship. We know what I never have. Yes, yes. All right. Thank you, Ryan.

Okay. PFT, what's your fire fest? It's kind of a group fire fest for all of us. Oh, okay. You might have seen these videos and earlier this week on social media, we've found ourselves into a jeans ripping problem on this podcast. Oh, that's a problem.

It's kind of a problem because now it's just sneak attack on jeans. It's sneak attack on jeans. So originally it was started as a social media trend that Billy spotted. He wanted to reenact. We, yes, staged a few of them because they're funny to see somebody's pants get ripped off.

But now people's pants are actually getting ripped like impromptu. It was the most obvious conclusion. Oh, it's not over. It was, yeah, no, no, I'm saying, no, I'm saying like the fact that Billy was like, hey, we got to do these videos and the first couple were-

He volunteered himself. He volunteered himself, but it was so obviously going to end up at this point where it became real that we were actually trying to rip each other's jeans off our asses. So now it's like, you got to be careful. You have to bring like a backup pair of pants to the office and everyone's looking over their shoulder all the time.

It's going to end, it's going to end poorly. I don't know how it's going to end, but I just know that no one's going to be happy and we're going to get into a small fight about it and then it's going to be no more pants ripping over. It's the ball taps all over again. Correct, absolutely. That's where we're at right now.

Also, my balls got shown online in one of the videos and Billy told me that he had edited it out, but he very clearly did not edit out my testicles. Yeah. So hand up, my balls are out there. What were you going to say about Billy, Hank? Oh, so do you want to explain where he is and I'll give you a little backstory?

It's just funny, it's a very Billy. Yeah, he's on, we're doing a most dangerous game show for Barstool where a bunch of people are going in the woods, filming a show, it's going to be great. Well, every AWOL should watch and root for Billy. It made me laugh that Billy tweeted out like, go into the woods for a week, no cell service. Like basically making himself seem like the hardest dude ever

and that he was like going to go find himself just leaving out the part that it was his job and he's going for Barstool and he's going to be sleeping inside of a house the whole time. No, they're saying intense. Oh, okay. It's like if you win challenges,

you might get a right in the house. Billy, he did make it seem like he was Henry David Throne going to Walden Pond. He's like, I'm going to be here, I'll reemerge in town once every six months to sell some beans, then back to the woods for me. Yeah, Lewis and Clark. Yeah, I'm just going to go find myself.

He's competing in a reality competition. And if he wins, he gets money. And he also tried to get me to pay for his new foot shoes, which was an all-time Billy conversation when he's like, hey, can I expense these new, what are they called? Toe shoes. Toe shoes.

And I was like, for what? He's like, for this show we're doing, it's going to be on Barstool. And I was like, are you going to wear those toe shoes after? And he's like, yeah. So Billy did leave behind his last will and testament in the studio. He signed it and everything, so it's legit.

It simply says, if I die, put me with Harambe. Billy, there's no low key on there. And then a very. Oh, then I don't believe it's Billy. Elaborate signature from Billy on there. I don't believe it's Billy. So Logan, he runs all of the Barstool reality shows. He was kind of casting it and they told every contestant,

it's going to be like, you know, you're going to be living outdoors. It's kind of going to be like fear factor-esque. Just know that before you say yes. Billy said yes, like right off the bat. It was like, I'm in. Then he kind of called me and they're like, we need like three or four more people.

We need someone that like, you know, knows the game, knows the strategy. I was like, oh, maybe Jake, Jake could be good. I like kind of like put, not the full court pressure, but I was like, Jake, you should do this. It'll be good, blah, blah, blah. He was like, oh, I don't know. Like it's kind of like, I don't really want to do it.

It's a little bit outside my comfort zone. It's like, fine, no worries. Billy, after immediately saying yes, when he was like finding out what the challenges were or like what they might be, he started freaking out. Cause I was funny cause I were tweeting about it today and I was like, oh, Billy's going to win this. Wow, Bill, wow, Bill, wow, Bill.

Right. Meanwhile, he has been like freaking out about like what these challenges are going to be. Like, but like Jake, I like was like, you know, I want you to do this, but if you, if you don't want to, that's fine. He was like, yeah, you know, I just don't like, I'll let you explain it.

I also knew it would be heat Celtics. Right. Yeah. But like it, it was very like, he had way more pressure on him to do it. And he still said no, which is like very respectable. No worries. Billy said yes.

And then after saying yes was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, are we going to be doing like scary stuff? Like bugs? It's like, yes. Like that's exactly what you signed up for. So like, what kind of woods did he think he was going to?

Yeah. There'd be no bugs. It's going to be very funny to see how he actually does on the show. I actually can't wait cause everyone's like, oh, wow, Bill, Billy lived in the bunker, all this stuff. But he has been freaking out. Yeah, no, he, he, and it was,

I had like a little interaction this morning cause they were all here getting ready to leave. And he was wearing his toe shoes. And I was talking with him and little Sass. And Billy was like, I already have a leg up cause I have these toe shoes. Like I don't have to take them off. And Sass was like, what do you mean you don't have

to take them off? And I was like, are you not going to take them off to sleep? He's like, why would I? It's like, what? What? Why, why wouldn't you? When Billy puts his toe shoes on, he thinks that they're completely form fitting.

Yeah. And that he doesn't like, remember he showers with them at home. Yes. It's like his special power. It's like his, that's his version of Superman's cape. Imagine if he cries. Billy's got the toe shoes on.

He's in war mode. Imagine if he cries. I think Billy and Sass are like, they're both the most likely to like freak out and just not do a challenge. But even, but Sass at least knows that he has a reputation of like, oh, I don't want, I don't want to, like complaining.

So he combats it with intentionally not complaining. I don't think Billy realizes that like, he will complain and, and be like, I don't want to do this. And then they're going to put it in the video and everyone's going to be like, what? Wow, Bill. Oh no. Maybe not.

He'll show up. And maybe he'll, he'll be ready to roll war mode. I could also see him like. But I can't wait. Like that's going to be, it's going to be great theater. Later on this summer. Shout out Nicoletti. He's probably going to be foraging for mushrooms out there.

Yes. Billy might get his hands on like one of those angel of death ones in the hospital. Yes. Also one reason why I can't, like I love these types of shows. I'm a huge survivor fan. Subscribe to Snuff and Torches.

But I also know I wouldn't be good because I cannot lie. Like I just wouldn't be able to lie to get my way through the game. Billy could do that well. Yes. He can do it. I don't know if he can do it well. It's true.

No, he definitely can't lie well. That's what I'm saying. I couldn't get through it because I just couldn't. Nah, his parents grew up watching golf on mute. That's a fact. With Billy, it's more about the quantity of the lies than it is the quality of them. He just figures if he lies about literally everything,

a couple of them are going to fly into the radar. He won't be afraid to throw a stone under the bus. Yes, yes. Will it work? We don't know. Yeah. All right, my firefest, it was very public, but I broke my phone.

No case gang. I then got caught in basically like eight hours being outside of the cloud, not being able to get back in. It was torture. I had to go to the Apple store twice. Oh my God. Yeah, twice. Well, I walked.

A long walk. Genius bar appointment. A mile and a half. Yeah, I had to make two separate genius bar appointments. They locked me out of the iCloud. I couldn't get in all my fucking, I thought I was going to lose all my pictures of my kids and everything.

Finally got it, but Hank tried to like, he was like, maybe you should have a case. I said it to you every day. Listen, the only one time, every time you do the nose case gang, it's like, why? The only person could have avoided the situation. Yeah, me. A case.

No, me. The only thing that needs to be blamed in this entire thing, because it was torture. Like PFT, you said like, what would happen if you didn't get on the internet for 10 minutes? I didn't have my phone for eight hours and it was, I wanted to kill myself. And I just need to be better with my reflexes.

Betterhope.com. I dropped, I dropped it getting out of my car and it fell and I did the kick save and I fucking missed it. It's just a total 100% hand up on me. I have to be better. I agree with that because if you have a phone that is not protected, which I have had in the past,

you get great at the kick save. It becomes like a force of habit. Like you can drop your phone from no matter the distance. It doesn't matter. And you just stick your toe out the last second. As long as it deflects off the top of your foot before it hits the ground, you're good to go. So yeah, that's, I don't think that that's a flaw

in you not having a phone case. I think your foot was just slow. Exactly. I think your foot speed. It was a wake up call of like my athleticism, like you got to get yourself back to like peak agility. And just, I want to just throw this out there because Hank, you can back it up.

A lot of people will be like, oh, you don't have a case because you have money. I wrote that blog in like 2013 when I had just, I was smashing phones left and right and it cost me a lot of money. So I've been no case for a very long time. It is not a money thing. It's just a thrill thing.

It's a gamble every day when you wake up knowing this could be the last day of your phone's life. It does, it objectively feels better too. I do miss having just the metal going on. I got this new phone, it's a little bit bigger. And I've got the case on it now. And it's, I feel like my opinions are filtered cause I have to go, my thumbs have to work through a case

whenever I'm typing something in. I also love doing the kick save when I'm going to the refrigerator and like a pickle jar falls out. And on its way down, I'll do that. I'll just like stick my toe out at the last second. It's just a thrilling moment. I feel like it was like the iPhone 4s or 5s,

the ones where it was like all glass where every single time you dropped it, they would break. Yes, yes. It actually is. I used to go through like so many times. It's gotten better, the phones have gotten better. This was a clean like five foot drop on cement. Okay, Jake, your fire fest of the week.

Let's wrap it up. Yeah, so we already talked about the nut tapping. Let's talk about it more. Yeah, I have one. I can save it for next week. No, no, no, give it to us. Just one nut. Oh, no, come on.

All right, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. You know, you're a bad guy, you're a bad guy. I'm a content machine, you're a bad guy. I suggested doing a bench press. No one's going to get hurt doing a bench press unless you're billy.

I already asked her though. Yeah, torn labrum. Right, so you would have been exempt. Oh, okay. Well, what happened actually, like if you go, no, no. Big Cat was like, no, that's a lame idea. Corporate Hank, you're a pussy. For the company.

Like, wow, that's a class action lawsuit. I can't have that on my bottom line. Listen, I know what the people want and I give the people what they want. Now you're making me feel bad for it. Well, because you went too hard. No, no, Hank, here's the thing. I think the gene sound effect is a big factor.

I agree, thank you, Jake. Hank, this is all, Hank sits on the throne of lies because right afterwards, right after the nut tab. You can see my reaction. Hank, will you shut up? Mute your own microphone, Hank. Right after the nut tab, Hank's initial reaction was, oh my God, no, I can't believe I did that.

I'm so sorry, oh fuck, I hit him way, way, way too hard. But then Hank gets like five minutes to start thinking about it and he starts deluding himself, telling him all the reasons why it actually wasn't that bad when in the moment, you knew that you fucked up. I put my hands up like, was that too hard? Again. Did I do that?

I don't see this as where it's like, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? What was I supposed to do? How could I have done that any differently? You should have sucked him off. She had been a real, real friend. Use your left hand maybe.

Yeah. All right, Jake, give us your real fire fest. Yeah, so this has to do with you guys as well. So my Twitter account used to not be my Twitter account. I don't believe that. What do you mean? It says PMT Sports Biz right there. Right.

I don't believe that. It's verified. It is verified. Yeah, it's verified. I have the receipt of when it became verified. It was March Madness 2021, first day of the tournament. Anyways, at first it was Blake. What a gift, of course.

Who won that day? 16 teams advanced. Nice. I think it was Oral Roberts over Ohio State. Yeah, that sounds right. At first it was Blake Borrell's Wikipedia. Uh-huh. And then.

Classic. Yeah, and then it was Billy 1.0 when he was your first intern. Which was the account was PMT Nutrition. Yeah. Right, and then it was me starting June 3rd, 2020. Oh, wow, you really brought the receipts. 2019. Yeah, so like.

This is great because Jake is like so buttoned up and knows exactly the dates. I saw the tweet and I was like, oh my god. I had an old PSA tweet. I had never even thought, I know that these are all moments that happened in my own life, but I just don't even remember that like Billy had that account for a while. Right, allegedly.

But it said your name on it. It did. It did, but I have a PSA that's not me. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to. So wait, what are the tweets in question? So I saw the. I deleted that. I saw any rap lyrics.

I saw an old tweet of yours resurfaced, and I couldn't believe it. So I retweeted it thinking, wow, I can't believe what Jake. Right, anything before. What did the tweets say? The tweet was a picture of Billy wearing a suit and a tie on presentation day, and then Jake's replied to. Don't use the word.

Don't use the word. Jake's replied to it was, wow, look at this F-U-C-K-I-N nerd. Yeah, so it was Billy. Anything before June 2019 is not me. But I found some other ones that look really funny as if it's me. So I'm going to become like the Chargers P.F. Changs. Oh yeah, give us a couple.

Because this is in me. Just think of my avatar, my check mark, my name. It's you. My mom has pissed him on Twitter so much nowadays. She got mad and is taking my phone away. Last tweet till IDK when. He definitely blamed us. This is when we.

So what happened was. Billy got in trouble. He was like, they're making me tweet. That's what he did was, it does with TikTok. Actually, yeah. Oh, he does. Going back and beating that. Yeah, you guys, he gets mad at us.

This is July 1st, 2017. I'm on TikTok too much. He's like, well, it's because I have to for my job. Knowing what we know now about Billy, he definitely just want to take like three days away and just go get hammered drunk. Yeah. And that was his excuse.

My mom took my phone away. His parents were like very. I had to talk to his dad on the phone once. Billy was like, can you talk to my dad because he thinks that like I'm making mistakes in my life. I was like, what? Here's another one. Realize on Pavlov's dog when I hear the national anthem

because I think I'm going in on kickoff and get head on a swivel on adrenaline pumping. This is 18 year old Billy football, by the way. Yeah, 17 year old, maybe even. So when I'm bulking, I eat a pint of ice cream at night. Someone should come up with high protein ice cream. Good idea. And then last one.

Accidentally may have swallowed a soda tab. What do I do? Really is a dog. You can look those tweets up and just they're in my name. I'm sure it was a soda tab. Yeah. I'm sure it was from a soda. So if you have Chang's Chargers.

Yeah, has taken over this podcast. So like, again, nothing before 2019 June is me. OK, we should find some Blake Bortles Wikipedia ones. I'm sure there's some gems in there. Yeah, they definitely are. All right. Numbers, let's wrap it up. Yeah, we have to.

OK. Not tap. Yep. Not this will be the only time. If you get it, you get tapped. Yeah, we're not going to keep this going forever, but this will be the only time. I hope Jake gets it again.

Wait, aren't I safe? No. 21. 21 for Hank. Three. Three for Jake. 64. 64 for PFT.

Did you not do that strategy the last time? Or did you just tell me your number? No, it was there. Oh, I thought you just dealt with it. Give me a number that's never been done. Give me a number that's never been done. The first two that I want to turn to my right. Also memes, get memes.

Make memes pick, because he's so scared of this. What do you, Liam? Six. Oh, six has not been done. So we have 20, 26, 27, 29, 51, 78. I don't know, two. 29. Wait, Liam's changing.

Liam's got two. I got 29. I want to hit six, but I don't want to hit it right now. I'm going to pick. But this counts, right? This is part of it. Yeah, yeah, this counts. It's both.

It's for both. I'm going to pick one for Billy, so if it hits, when he gets back, we get to hit him in the nuts. OK. We all do. Yeah, we all do. I'm going to go 99. OK, 99.

All right, here we go. There we go. This should be karma if it ended up on me. 63. 63. Oh, there's one off. Wow. Wow.

That was close. All right, see you everyone on Monday. BuyR&R.com. Love you guys. Analopes? Low key. Analopes. They know how to start fires.

It's all keyed away. Though I don't know what I'm to say I've said anyway. Today is another day to find you. Shy it away. Though I'll be coming for your love, OK. Shy it away. Though I'll be coming for your love, OK. Make on me.

Take me out. Take on me. Take me out. I'll be gone. Shy it away. Though I'll be coming for your love, OK. Shy it away. I'll be coming for your love, OK.

Though I'll be coming for your love, OK. Needless to say. I've all to say, yeah. It's about to be stolen away. Slowly learn to walk yourself out. Say out to me. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Say out to me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me. Take me out. Take on me. Take me out. I'll be gone. It's about to be stolen away. All the things that you say, yeah.

Is it a lie? Well, just blame our worries away. You're all things I've got to remember. Shy it away. Though I'll be coming for you anyway. Though I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take me out.

I'll be gone. Take me out. I'll be gone. I'll be gone in a day.