Pardon My Take - Paul Rabil, NBA Playoffs, The Boys Went To An Islanders Game & Fyre Fest Of The Week
Episode Date: June 25, 2021The Suns are no longer going to win in 4 (00:02:49 - 00:07:19). Trae Young is going to take the Hawks all the way? (00:07:19 - 00:22:01) The boys went to the Nassau Coliseum and saved the Islanders se...ason plus a review of the old barn. The Canadiens get into the Stanley Cup Final (00:22:01 - 00:36:12). Jay Williams had the worst tweet of all time and it wasn't even his original terrible tweet (00:36:12 - 00:46:23). Paul Rabil joins the show to talk PLL, Waterdogs, and how Lacrosse is going to the next level (00:46:23 - 01:26:37). We finish the show with Fyre Fest of the week and Billy's recap.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, pardon my take listeners.
You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music.
On today's part of my take,
we are talking to our good friend, Paul Rable,
little PLL water dogs.
Always fun to have him in person too.
In-person interviews are back.
We are going to talk a little NBA playoffs.
We went to the Coliseum,
so we give a review of the Coliseum.
Big Cat, you're under, so we saved the Coliseum.
We saved the Coliseum, the Collie.
It was an awesome night.
Long Island is the best.
We are talking about Jay Williams
and probably the worst tweets of all time.
Firefest of the week, a great show.
Send you good vibes on this show, going into the weekend,
and we're brought to you by our friends at BetterHelp.
So, life is full of stressors.
Doesn't matter who you are, what you have,
your life is probably stressful,
whether it be work stress, home stress,
commute stress, money stress.
There's a lot of things that can be stressful in life,
and you may not be feeling down and out and depressed,
or like you're at a total loss,
but if your stress is high,
your temper is shorter than usual,
or even if you're starting to feel strain
in any of your relationships,
you could probably use the chance to unload.
Unload the stress and get it out.
Talk to someone who's completely unbiased about your life,
someone who isn't going to judge you
or take sides on anything,
where there are things you can't tell anyone
or feel like you can't unload to family and friends,
you need to unload it, and that's what therapy can do.
So, it doesn't mean that you have to be depressed,
it just means someone to talk to.
BetterHelp is that someone is customized online therapy
that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions
with your therapist.
So, you don't have to see anyone on camera
if you don't want to.
It's much more affordable than in-person therapy,
and you can start communicating with your therapist
in under 48 hours.
Unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback.
You'd be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it.
See it, if it's for you.
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp,
and our listeners get 10% off their first month
at betterhelp.com slash P-M-T.
That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash P-M-T,
betterhelp.com slash P-M-T, it's okay to not be okay.
Go check it out at betterhelp.com slash P-M-T.
Okay, let's go.
Boy!
Boy!
Now in the streets there is violence,
and then a lot of stuff will have to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in,
and then I can't play all on the sun.
Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue,
and then we'll take it higher,
oh we gonna rock down to electric avenue,
it's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to part of my take presented by betterhelp.com,
go to betterhelp.com slash P-M-T right now,
you get 10% off their first month
at betterhelp.com slash P-M-T.
Today is Friday, June 25th,
and it is no longer suns in four.
Could be a gentleman's sweep though.
But it also needs to be the playoff P-game,
the playoff P-playoffs, I'm gonna give some credit,
we talked about this the other night,
I'm gonna give some credit to playoff P,
he had an awesome night, they needed to win this game,
not a can't lose but a must win, 27, 15 and eight,
half court shot, set the tone, the Clippers have life,
the Clippers officially have a little bit of life.
The reports of the Clippers demise
were greatly over exaggerated by us.
Is Chris Paul a cancer to the team?
I think Chris Paul was selfish tonight, big cat,
and that he rushed himself back too fast,
those are the two sides of the coin you have to play
as an NBA analyst, either say like this guy's a wimp,
cause he's not out there fighting for his guys,
or he may have come back too fast.
He did.
And he needed to wait, Chris Paul,
needed to wait a little bit longer, come back,
he was not the Chris Paul that we know,
but I mean, who knows, is he a long hauler?
Yeah, could be.
Yeah, we could, I feel bad for the Sons and Four guy,
because you know deep down in his head,
I mean, we know this for a fact because he came on our show
and said, if I can't get tickets,
I'd just like to shoot around with the boys.
So we know how his mind works, he was thinking deep down.
They're not gonna lose again.
Sons and Four, Sons and Four, Sons and Four.
Yeah.
And then we win the title and I'm Sons and Four guy,
and I basically make my entire existence.
Like if the Sons had gone Sons and Four, Sons and Four,
Sons and Four, he would have been set for life.
Oh, he absolutely would.
He would not have had to buy a drink
in the Scottsdale area ever again in his life.
I think the Sons would have given him a job.
Yeah, just to sit in the stands.
And just say Sons and Four.
Not to do anything, just like sit there,
hold up four fingers.
Every time a game entered the fourth quarter,
he would be the guy that would just hold up four,
the arena would go nuts.
That would be his life.
He'd probably get a gig doing like Saturday radio
on some Phoenix like local sports station.
He would have had a great time just milking that.
Now if they do advance and they win
the NBA championship in four games,
if it's a clean sweep, at that point,
I feel like it's still kind of back on for him.
He kind of comes back.
This game also has an asterisk.
And we'll just throw it out there.
Campaign did get hurt.
He only played four minutes.
That changes the whole series.
It changes the flow.
Like now you can-
This offense flows through campaigns.
Right, you can confidently say
there's no excuses left on the table.
The Clippers are without their best guy, Kawhi.
The Sons are without their best guy, Campaign.
Although, would you rather have Campaign
like stick around and have a...
You can't make him the identity of your offense
because then you lose the magic that is the Campaign game.
Right, we already had.
Because we'll never forget.
Well, he's got many of them.
That was the Campaign game though.
Right.
Until the next one happens.
Which is coming up as soon as he gets healthy.
But I'm just throwing an asterisk.
You know what?
I think it's, you know, you have to...
This story doesn't get told
without starting with Campaign.
Did not play more than four minutes in this game.
The Sons also did the thing
where they spread their scoring out
almost evenly amongst their starters.
The problem is they need to have like four more points
per person.
And they need Campaign.
And Campaign to show up.
If that happens, the Sons are tough to beat.
Yeah.
All right, so it's a series though.
You know what?
We're Sons Podcast.
A series doesn't start until the road team wins again.
That's true.
That's true.
It is nice that we won't have...
Cause you know, if the Sons had won tonight
and we are Sons Podcast,
I would have said it would be pretty clear
that it was going to be Sons and Four.
Now, I wouldn't have hated if Kawhi came and played
just so that way as long time suffering Sons fans,
no one can take this away from us
and be like, well, Kawhi didn't play in this.
Right.
I don't want, you know what I'm dreading?
Like the Mickey Mouse replyers on Twitter,
the ones who were like,
this is a Mickey Mouse championship for your Sons.
Yeah.
Hold this ratio on your fraud championship.
List of guys that got hurt in the 2021 playoffs.
Yeah.
Sons didn't win a real title.
No, I want to...
I'm blocking those people.
You know what?
I want to take your best shot and still beat you
as a Sons fan.
Yeah, I mean, we've been waiting a long, long time
since at least the Nugget series.
Yeah.
So it's been a long time.
Has Kawhi even been around?
No, he was in the suite.
They showed him in the suite.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, so he's there.
I thought first, he might have been dead.
No, he's there.
He's, you know, proof of life has been proven.
Okay, let's talk some Hawks bucks.
Game one, Trey Young.
This is the Trey Young coming out party.
48 points.
As was the last game.
I feel like he's had like six games this postseason
where it's like, this is the emergence of Trey Young.
Yes.
Turns out he's just really good.
I have a question for you, big cap.
Yeah.
What if the Hawks just won the championship?
I, dude, so I, we're going to talk about
the Islanders game in a second.
How weird would that be?
I DVR the game.
And I actually think this might be my new move,
even though it's only a set circumstances
of being at a game and missing another game,
but watching a game after the fact is kind of fun.
I also beat Magic Johnson still.
I watched the game at 10 a.m. on Thursday morning
and I beat Magic Johnson by four hours.
To what tweet?
To him being like, just catching up on the Hawks bucks
game one tweet.
So I beat him to it still.
So I was still very much on it,
but I was thinking that exact thought.
Like it could, it could happen.
Maybe.
They, I don't really, so my biggest takeaway is
Trey Young is in a zone right now
where he's playing with so much confidence.
He did the shimmy in the middle of a fucking three-point shot,
which shout out to Trey Young because that's the most pressure
you could ever have in a three-point shot
as doing the shimmy before your shot.
It's actually worse than trying a contested three-pointer.
Doing, I would like to see the stats on it.
I bet you that he's more accurate or most shooters
are more accurate with a hand in their face
than they are doing a shimmy on a wide open.
I think he had the ball for like three seconds
before he shot it.
It was crazy.
It's nuts.
And so he put all that pressure on himself,
which just tells me he is ice cold.
Yeah.
So he's playing with so much confidence
that there's moments where he looks
like he's not trying hard because it's like,
he's just so at ease right now.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, some of the passes,
they're just so at ease.
Like he's playing a pickup game.
And I had, that's where I had that thought
where I was like, wait, Trey Young has so much confidence.
He's playing in such a style that anything works for me.
Even if he's at a bad shooting night,
he's getting involved another way.
And we talked about this against the, you know,
after the game seven, even if he's having
a bad shooting night, he's gonna keep shooting.
But yeah, the Hawks and his rim protection
is just off the charts.
I do think we shouldn't overreact to game one.
Yeah, it's true against Ben Simmons.
We shouldn't overreact to game one
because I think the Bucks will still, you know,
this is gonna be a series, it's gonna be a long series
and they could absolutely win this series.
But it's the Trey Young, we need to get the Trey Young some.
I'm gonna stop because I am gonna overreact
because I don't think that we've even come close
to overreacting on Trey Young.
I think the best that we've said about him is
he's a great player, great shooter.
Oh no.
And when he beat the Knicks, we were like,
he's an awesome villain.
No, the best thing I said about him was that
we now have to redraft the 2018 NBA draft.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
That's the biggest, I'm Luca, how could you pick
Trey Young ahead of, or how could you, you know,
the trade that went down where the Hawks basically
traded back and they're like, you take Luca,
we'll take Trey Young.
Right.
So I think that that's actually not, yeah, it's a discussion.
So yeah, it's a discussion.
I'm going to overreact and say that for the first time
I was able to picture mentally,
Trey Young winning a national championship.
I was able to picture him NBA championship.
NBA, it's still that.
I'll say Oklahoma is never going to win a national championship.
International championship,
because we play against the Raptors too.
They'll get blown out by fucking 40 in the Rose Bowl
because they can't play defense.
Right, so I can picture Trey Young winning an NBA,
he's a confetti guard now.
I can mentally see the confetti falling down
on his weird hair.
Oh my God, it would get stuck.
It would get stuck in such weird places in his hair.
He also deed up Giannis on a possession,
poor Pac Connitan with the shot
that basically could have won the box of the game
and he airballed it and it was like.
There's a bit of that going around.
A bit of that going around.
Actually, we should talk about that real quick.
So KD is, when he's on Twitter, he's on 10 champ.
There is no take it easy for him.
So if you missed it,
Scottie Pippen did an interview with GQ,
which listen, I love Scottie Pippen.
He's an all time, all time player.
But Scottie Pippen does have enough things in his resume
that him criticizing KD being like,
you tried to win it all yourself.
You had to know if you're Scottie Pippen,
like you're gonna get clapped back
and it's gonna be things that you don't wanna talk about.
You know, the migraine, the sitting out the last play.
Like those things, like get, you know,
not rehabbing over the summer.
Like those things are gonna have to come up
if you're gonna criticize a guy like Kevin Durant
who does not, if you criticize him,
he will come back at you.
Yeah.
They're gonna be caught by Future the Rapper.
Oh, what happened?
Russell Wilson?
Yeah.
No, Larson.
That's just on the resume.
Yeah, oh, okay.
Oh yeah, yeah, I remember.
That was a wild day on the old internet.
I think it's, I think there's a,
someone needs to make,
Billy, this actually would be a good one for you.
Make up a formula, a math formula,
because it's time since you last played.
Like if you, if you have played 20 years ago,
I think that the current players are like, shut up.
If you've played 40 years ago,
it's like respect that legend.
I can't believe you still alive.
So it's like Charles Barkley gets clowned on all the time
because he has opinions and then they're like,
dude, you didn't, like, you didn't win anything.
You didn't, you know, play defense in these big moments.
You didn't, you know what I mean?
There's a resume of things you go after.
I'll tell you exactly when it is.
It was like that old bad boys pistons team.
When they won their last championship,
that's the last of the like respectable older guys.
Everything after that,
it's still like staying in your lane,
know your role, let the next generation.
Unless you're Jordan.
Unless you're Jordan.
You guys will take that personally.
And by the way, Scotty Pippen, I actually kind of get it.
I get why Scotty Pippen is just ready to lash out
at everybody because every place
that Kevin Durant has ever played for,
the question has always been like,
is he the Jordan or is he the Pippen of this team?
So Scotty's been like following him around
on every team they's ever been on,
just getting clowned by people.
Like calling KD, Scotty Pippen on any team they's been on
has been like a tremendous insult.
Which is crazy because Scotty Pippen's
the top 25 player of all time.
And Scotty Pippen also made some decent points.
Not about KD.
Like he made a decent point about Steve Kerr.
Yeah.
I mean, Steve Nash.
He made a decent point about him.
He basically was like, look,
you played him a ton of minutes.
You should have had him in the post
trying to rest a little bit while he's out there.
Like he was clearly,
Kevin Durant was incredible in that series.
But you can't tell me that he wasn't at least
a little gassed in the overtime
because he was basically carrying the entire team
on his back.
I'm still going through my head right now
because it feels like Scotty Pippen
is not clearly a top 25 NBA player of all time.
And I'm doing names.
One by one.
Are you willing to stand by that take?
I mean, I don't think you,
I don't think either of us knows enough NBA history to.
It just, here's what I'm going off of.
I had a poster when I was a kid.
I'm gonna go top 50 players of all time.
That was top 50 NBA players.
And that was in like 2003.
And Scotty Pippen was like controversially on the list.
Oh, I think he was securely on it.
At the time.
Now, top 25.
All right, so top 30.
Yeah, maybe top, yeah.
All right, I just pulled up the first one I could find.
That's fine.
I don't feel an article.
Literally the first one I could find.
This is what we're going off of.
He's number 25.
Okay, all right.
The first article I found.
Hey, listen, when you've been proven wrong,
statistically, you've been proven wrong.
It was good that we had the debate though, wasn't it?
Yeah, I think he's comfortably in top 35
and then top 25.
Yeah, all right.
He's bubble top 25.
I just pulled up another one, 24.
Oh, okay.
So there you go.
He was like one of the last few in.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, he will be surpassed
by the Kevin Durant and the Steph Currys.
No, you can't count them because they're still playing.
Oh, I didn't know that was part of the list.
No, no, no.
Just in case Kevin Durant ends up like driving
a school bus full of children off a cliff,
we can take him, he's not gonna be on the list
until his chapter is fully written.
That's so funny that people like two lists
and he's 24 and 25, cause that seems like,
that seems about right.
Like, all right, that's right around.
This is the best sports podcast in the world.
What do you got?
Yeah, we have that deep in our brains
where we're like, we know this list.
What are you gonna say?
Have you guys heard of the bracket matrix?
No, that sounds intense though.
It's a website and it's a compilation
of every bracketology for college basketball
and they take the average seed and then from there,
they make a bracket.
A giant bracket?
Of the average bracket.
Not for the top 25 players of all time.
How many times you jerked off to that?
Zero, but I check it every single day.
Now I'm curious about the bracket.
Who's the number one overall seed?
Is it Kentucky?
Well, it's only in season.
No, it's for each seed.
It's like a live college basketball season.
Over the course of time.
Yeah, UCLA probably number one actually.
Here's one that has him at 29,
but he also has Jason Kidd higher than him,
which I feel like that's gotta be wrong.
That's tough.
And it also has current players,
which we shouldn't count, right?
When I was saying top 25,
I wasn't counting current players.
You weren't any better?
I was.
No, I was not.
Because I was thinking how many...
No, you gotta wait till they finish.
Are still above him at this point in their career.
There's probably like five that would be above him.
Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't,
unless I count LeBron, but everyone else,
you gotta wait till you see the...
You count LeBron?
Yeah, in the top 45.
I don't know if I would count LeBron.
Yeah, I think he's probably in the top.
You haven't even seen Space Jam too.
He's in the top 25.
I'm gonna give him, you know what?
Write that down.
You shut the fridge again.
Write that down.
Big Cat said something nice about LeBron.
He is a top 25 NBA player of all time.
That was huge of me.
That was very big of me.
Either way, Scotty Pippen, like,
we need to figure out this fridge.
This is just fridge.
It sounds like we're in the middle of diehard
and there's like a bomb going off.
If I can't fill a jug with my piss.
Where's the, I'm just gonna unplug some random shit here.
Yeah, it turned off.
We're good.
Oh, he just unplugged.
At least he doesn't think it's a fridge.
Our microphones.
What would it be then, Billy?
Talking to Mike, Billy, our microphones are off.
You don't think it's a fridge, but you don't think it was.
Okay, we're back.
Wait, Hank and Billy, do part of my take.
Our microphones are off.
If it's not the fridge, what could it be, William?
Something else, that's what you've been, sorry.
Welcome back, Connor, my take.
That was actually a pretty decent debate right there, boys.
Sound off in the comments, which side you land on the,
is it the fridge or is it something else?
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, you never know.
Right, right.
Either way, Scotty Pippen, you,
the only fault Scotty Pippen really had
in this entire commentary is going after Kevin Durant,
because that's the one guy who will always come back.
And this is the worst week to go after Kevin Durant,
because he just, he's coming off of an all-time performance
and he doesn't have a job to go to right now.
So he's just online every day.
He probably, I bet you Kevin Durant has numerous
Google searches set up for his own name.
Like if there's an article that comes out
that mentions Katie, the servant, Durant,
the Durantula, he's got all those set up,
so they hit his inbox and he responds pronto on Twitter.
And honestly, like, I like,
I think he still probably does have a couple burner accounts
that he breaks out, you know, for the real steamy stuff.
But I feel like he's circ, he's kind of consolidated
most of his takes to his main handle.
I would say probably like 70% of what he's firing off online
is coming from his name, he's putting his name on it.
And the rest, I just want to find what his,
what his current burner accounts are now,
because that's where you're going to get
the real shit from him.
He's given, he's given the hot takes.
Okay, let's move on.
We're going to, before we do that,
a quick word from our friends at Amazon Prime Video
because the summer blockbuster,
these, the event of the summer is coming home
with a Fourth of July weekend release of the Tomorrow War
starring Chris Pratt.
This is the movie event of the summer
and you do not want to miss it.
This Fourth of July weekend, Pratt leads as an everyday hero
who is transported into the future to a battle,
to battle a vicious alien life force
and save his daughter, wife and world from total destruction.
It is universally appealing high stakes premise
with stories of mass disaster,
with threat of extinction, tap into a universal fear
of all that all people have.
A-list Chris Pratt leads a diverse and compelling cast.
Check it out.
It's going to be, you can watch it from home.
That's the best part.
Fourth of July weekend.
It's going to be the event of the summer,
the blockbuster event of the summer.
So here's the date, 6.30.
Tomorrow War drops Friday, July 2nd
on Prime Video streaming worldwide.
So check it out.
Tomorrow War drops Friday, July 2nd
on Prime Video streaming worldwide.
So go check it out.
It's going to be the event of the summer.
You know what?
I'm going to throw it out there.
We're going to do a movie review.
Tomorrow War sounds just cool as shit.
It does.
It doesn't matter what the movie's about.
That's just a badass title.
I have Amazon Prime.
Amazon Prime is great.
So go check it out.
Tomorrow War, July 4th weekend.
July 2nd is when it premieres.
It's going to be the event of the summer.
We are going to do a movie review.
So that is Space Jam 2.
And Tomorrow War is the two movies we have to review.
Fast and the Furious 9 comes out this weekend, right?
You also have to review that.
Cutting B's in it.
Nope, we don't.
We don't have to.
Thanksgiving is the no.
It died.
That franchise is over.
What happened, Hank?
No, I'm just not a huge fast guy.
OK, that's fair.
People will get mad at me for that, but.
That's fair.
Fast and Furious movies are just the perfect movie
to put on.
And literally, you turn your brain off.
It's the only time my brain ever shuts down
while my eyes are open.
I can watch that and not remember a single thing
that I thought or saw for like two hours.
All right, I don't want to say I'm not a fast guy.
I mean more that if we reviewed Fast 5, Fast 6, Fast 7,
Fast 8, or Fast 9, they would be the exact same review.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're like ACVC albums.
It's the exact same thing over and over again.
But they rock every time.
Yeah, I like them.
But yeah, play the hits.
Sometimes you just play the hits.
Add a few bigger, bigger vehicles.
Yes.
Go to space.
But check it out.
Amazon Prime Video.
We're still in the ad.
We're still within the ad.
You're saying like that's a bad thing.
Like, oh, the cars are bigger this time.
For you, that's a drawback.
For me, it's like, hell yeah, I'm in.
You are the guy, though, that said the F1 cars should be quieter.
Or much, much louder.
Louder.
Louder.
All right, we're still in the ad.
Tomorrow or July 4th weekend, check it out.
It's going to be incredible.
Chris Pratt, you know he brings it every time.
OK, let's talk some hockey.
Well, unfortunately, the Golden Knights and Canadians
are playing in overtime right now.
We will update that as it goes on.
Oh, wait, yeah.
Gucci overtime challenge.
Flurry.
I'll do Carrie Price.
I'll go Reeves again.
OK.
Actually, no, I'll do my guy Cole Caulfield from Wisconsin.
So there we go.
Cole Caulfield.
What team is he on?
He's on the Canadians.
Oh, ha ha.
So they have it's horns.
We were saying.
Where did Cole Caulfield?
Nice.
Canadians, America's team.
My teacher.
Yeah.
Yeah, they might be.
I think they might be.
Well, unless the Islanders can finish game seven.
Islanders are America's team.
Yeah.
So we went to the Collie.
We saved the Collie.
Some people are saying that, not everyone.
Oh, the Collie was going to shut down.
It would have been dead had we not brought the juice last night.
But we brought the juice.
It was a hell of a time.
It was a hell of an experience.
So a few things that I like noted.
The facility is a dump.
But it's what it is.
You think people will be mad about that?
No, I think they will readily admit that.
Like even Islanders fans, you know
that everything that happens during the game at the Collie
is amazing.
The barn is rocking.
It's the best venue in hockey to just sit and watch a game
match while the puck is in play.
Right.
Everything beside that, they should light a match
and then walk out the door and never turn back.
Correct.
The venue is a dump.
The experience is incredible.
It was so awesome.
It was so loud.
Everyone was so locked into the game.
There was a moment in between the second and third period
where I turned to PFT in Hank.
And I was like, I think I love Long Island
because we are beloved on Long Island.
It was the highest approval rating, I think,
that three of us have ever had inside of a building.
Like we had little kids, old men, everyone in between.
We're not counting the hospitals that we visited
that we haven't talked about on their show.
Correct.
Correct.
Everyone in between asking for pictures, saying what's up.
Like it was awesome.
It felt really cool.
So shout out Islander Nation.
We love you.
Shout out to the kid that gave me a note
with a whole presentation.
Gave me a note with a flash drive attached.
And I thought it was going to be a resume,
asking it to be an intern.
It was just an application for us to go record at his house.
And it was like, I hear you guys talk
about recording in houses and stuff.
I don't think you've realized that.
Wait, Hank, did you put the thing in?
You plugged that flash drive in?
That's definitely not where.
No, you are spying on us.
No, he was a Russian.
You are fucked.
I didn't go.
We disavow whatever is on Hank's computer right now.
I haven't plugged it in.
OK.
Don't plug it in.
I thought it was Billy's computer when he gets his new one.
I saw, yeah, I will probably plug it in.
I saw somebody hand-hank a folded up piece of paper
and Hank like unrolls it, looks in,
and calmly like puts it in his pocket.
I would have sworn it was drugs.
I would have sworn that Hank was just being very cool.
Well, he was watching me.
I wasn't just kind of like throwing it.
I tried to hand it to me first, and I was like, no, thank you.
Like, I don't just take random things.
The point of the message is that it was just, I thought it was funny
because he was like, come record in my studio thinking that's
because that's when we're on the road.
Like, sometimes we need places to record.
It's like, we're not going to go to Long Island.
I don't know.
We have a studio in New York.
Dude, I don't even know.
If the Islanders were in Game 7, we might go to this kid's house.
All right.
I almost just said it, but I'm not going to say it.
I almost like said, we will go there.
Now, we might.
We'll think about it.
No, we'll think about it because I love.
We might have to do something with Paul because Paul Bissin
that will probably be back here probably with a very stringent
streaming schedule set up.
So we might have to join him on some of those.
But I had a blast.
I had a blast.
I've noticed that like Islanders fans are either 50 years old
or 18 years old.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
I don't know how the breeding schedule works out there.
But like everyone falls into one of those two demographics.
They're all super friendly.
And then at the end of the game, the shoe that got thrown
on the ice was amazing.
Like that's actually your cans.
That's the mark of a great hockey town.
Yeah.
Is at the end of the game, they littered the ice
with whatever was close to him.
So it was like a bunch of beer cans get poured down there.
And then one bastard out there just
takes one of his shoes off and throws it.
I think he brought it.
I think he brought the shoe.
No, I saw the video of it.
He takes one of his shoes, throws it.
So now he's got to walk home with one shoe.
But hell, like it's worth it at that point.
You guys just won a conference final game in overtime.
It was, yeah.
I mean, and obviously the Coliseum, like every game
could be its last game there.
So people were just like, fuck it.
We're throwing everything on the ice.
I, what I really loved about going to the Coliseum,
it is as close to time traveling as you can get.
Because it's so it's, you know, it's was built in 1972.
They renovated it.
But I was talking to Frankie Burrell.
He's like, they barely renovated it.
Yeah.
I was going to think what the renovations that they made
could put some paint on it.
Like they probably they nailed a fire extinguisher
to the wall just in case something bad happened.
They put an extra trash can in every bathroom
so you could piss in that.
But it was like it was totally it was a time travel.
It was back blast in the past.
The Jumbotron is like there are many people in the world
who have bigger TVs in their living room than the Jumbotron.
Doesn't show replays.
Ralph Machio is fucking pumping up the crowd.
They have like a 1986 met there.
It was just awesome.
It was just a fun fucking time that felt like it was a blast
from the past.
And the biggest thing I could not figure out
that is the most baffling thing I've ever been a part of
is the fact that we went to the Nassau Coliseum.
The venues are dumb.
It's a time travel.
By far and away the best Wi-Fi I've ever
had inside of a stadium.
Wouldn't you say?
No, I didn't log into the Wi-Fi.
This is how the Wi-Fi was incredible.
Even like the cell data service in there was strong.
It was incredible.
I was able to like text videos and shit.
I was I couldn't believe it in the net.
Yeah, it's actually well probably because there are only
like 14,000 people in there.
But the Wi-Fi, I was on the Wi-Fi and it was fucking humming.
It was better than Barstool's Wi-Fi.
And the owner sits in the stands.
Because there are no boxes.
No suites.
I felt so bad for a friend Kevin Love.
The camera pan to him right after the lightning scored a goal.
They were doing one of the like look at the celebrity
in the stands cheering on the Islanders.
And it was right after the lightning score.
They put the camera on him and no one's looking, excuse me,
at the Jumbotron.
So it was like dead silent in there.
And then he didn't chug a beer, unfortunately.
But even Kevin Love was, he was like just in the stands.
He was not in a primo box as he would put it.
He was just sitting amongst the people.
There's nowhere to go.
It's just seats everywhere and there's no upper deck.
It's fucking awesome.
I actually, I grew to really love the toilet experience.
Because at first it was like maybe most people
might think that it's a downside to have
to wait 15 minutes to go take a piss.
But then you got to realize how much extra bonding happened
in those toilet lines.
And most of the bonding was done over people saying,
just piss in the sink when you go in there.
And then Hank ran into an old friend of his.
Tell the story, Hank.
All right, well, I mean, this is one of those,
PFT was heard this whole thing.
It was, it rattled me for the rest of the night.
This happened right before the game winning goal.
And after the game winning goal,
all I could think about was Mike Kensel,
who was like the guy that was feeding
Chris Mortensen's sources during the whole deflecate thing.
He was one of like the main enemies
of the Patriots and Patriots fans.
You had a chance Mike Kensel.
When we got arrested, when we got arrested at headquarters,
what we were training was free Brady fire,
Goodell, Kensel's a bitch.
So maybe if you're in line for like an hour,
we finally get to the next person in line
to get to a urinal.
So it's like, you know, the next person
that walks away from the urinal,
you take that person's spot.
This old guy turns around, I'm going to take a spot,
and I had to pee really bad
because I've been waiting for a long time.
So I'm like thinking he's just gonna walk past me
as I'm basically getting ready to take a piss.
He puts his hand like on my shoulder
and basically whispers in my ears like,
hey man, I'm Mike Kensel, nice to meet you.
And walks away.
And it had been so long that it took me like 10 seconds
as I'm pissing, Mike Kensel, Mike Kensel, Mike Kensel.
And then I remember the chant.
And I was just like, why did he even,
he introduced me like he was like a friend.
And I was like, you, I got arrested because I hated you.
Yeah, it was honestly baffling.
So I see this guy turn around from the urinal
within a half second.
He IDs Hank, makes a beeline right towards him,
gives him like a really strong pat on the shoulder
to the point where I thought,
I thought it might have been Zolac.
It was a Zolac type greeting that he gave him,
just like aggressive, like you're my boy, walked out.
And then Hank pees like two urinals down from me.
As I'm peeing after about, I don't know, 10 seconds,
Hank just starts laughing while he's pissing.
He's like, oh my God, I can't believe who that was.
He kind of health with you.
Yeah.
It was wild.
It was like, well, it was just because it was so quick.
I probably would have chirped him back if I had,
you know, it was five years.
It was, what was it, six years ago at this point?
Yeah, it was a jerk store moment with Kassanza.
You were like, you thought of your reply 20 seconds later.
Yeah, then I just started laughing.
But I was like, yeah, I was like, my cancel, my cancel.
And then I literally remembered free Brady Fargadale,
Kensel's a bitch.
And I was like, yeah.
I put it this way, if I was fights
and I had seen what Kensel did to Hank and then left,
I would be thinking real hard to myself
that Hank was a mole this whole time.
Because it was that type of like, he was saying,
hi to you like an old friend that he didn't know,
other people were supposed to know you guys were enemies.
It looked a little sus.
But anyway, so that happened.
We walked upstairs.
They went the goal shortly into overtime.
And the whole time I just was like rattled by my cancel.
My Kensel, it was in your head.
But yeah, I mean, the call scene was awesome.
The venue was a dump,
but the fucking experience is incredible.
I hope we get to go back.
I really do.
Although I don't, I mean, yeah, I hope so too.
But I also feel like it would be bad.
I'm also pretty sure he got,
I tried to look it up after he got fired
like from the NFL shortly after that.
He was wrong.
He was wrong.
All right.
We will update the overtime game
if it happens while we're recording the rest of the show.
We have to get to the other thing that happened
while yesterday, while we were out at Stu's,
which we will have Stu Feiner on the show
in the next couple of weeks.
It was a ridiculous day.
We'll talk about it on Firefest.
But Jay Williams, Jay Williams,
maybe the dumbest back to back tweets.
Like he had one really bad tweet
and then just really made it worse.
So if you missed the news,
the Celtics hired, what's his name?
Fuck, what's his name?
Eme Adoku, Adoka, black head coach from,
he was assistant coach at the Nets.
Jay Williams tweets out,
the first head coach of color for the Celtics.
And even more importantly,
he is one talented individual who has paid his dues.
Now, I would say that 99.9999% of people
know that this wasn't true
and not only was it not true,
but he picked the team that actually was the first team
to have a black head coach
in the history of the NBA, Bill Russell.
They won a title with Doc Rivers.
They have had like four or five black head coaches.
Jay Williams, all time idiot, like dumb tweet.
And then on top of all of that,
he deletes it and waits like three hours and says,
as it relates to the Boston Celtics tweet
that came from my account a couple of hours ago,
I did not post that and my passcode has now been changed.
Wow.
So just like every hacker usually sets up,
they spend years at hacking school
so that they can one day tweet from Jay Williams account
that the Celtics hired the first black head coach.
You don't believe him that he got hacked?
Yeah, I'm having a hard time.
I will make it my mission.
Like OJ is still looking for the real killer.
I'm gonna find the real Twitter of Jay Williams.
The hacker that specifically stole Jay Williams password
broke into his account to tweet out a take
that Jay Williams would make anyways
using the same punctuation and emojis
that Jay Williams constantly used.
Because this guy, Big Get, this hacker,
this guy's fucking good.
He's real good.
This guy is really good.
He's spent.
You should all be afraid
if this can happen to Jay Williams,
it could happen to any of us.
He spent, think about this.
He spent this hacker, spent his entire life work
getting into Jay Williams account.
Oh, Canadians who are going to the Stanley Cup final.
Holy shit.
All right.
Wow.
Good luck, Canada.
I mean, America.
They're Quebec, right?
Is that, are they considered a Canadian team if they win?
Or are they a Quebec team?
Oh my God, that's crazy.
I mean, dude, we, so we got to get back to Jay Williams,
but you know when I knew that the Canadians
were going to win this series?
When Whitney said they're going to lose.
No.
Well, no, that's that.
Plus, PFT and I got a text from both Whitney and Biz
in back to back days saying,
boys, we're going to do a live stream in Vegas
for the Stanley Cup final when the Knights like pump
the Canadians and is like, get ready.
Here are the dates.
It's going to be epic.
We'll do PMT and spit and chicklets crossover.
And we both were like, that would be great.
We could still do a stream from Vegas
with these two teams.
They wanted us to come out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then.
Are we going to?
No, we were going to maybe if the dates worked out
and then Biz tonight texted us when the Knights were down.
He's like, hey, we're going to do Long Island
if the Islanders win.
So unfortunately, Islanders are probably going to lose.
It's going to be Tampa and Montreal.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I feel like this series right here,
the Las Vegas Montreal series got a lot of credit
for being the stripper series, like the two best strip club
cities, North America.
Tampa is a very, very underrated strip club town,
mostly because it's like it's not underrated.
It's not that it's not that great, but it is prolific.
Oh, it's lots of strip clubs.
Yeah.
No, these of them.
It is a big time happened to work in the WWE at some point,
but it's still a very big strip club town.
All right.
So the Canadians, let's just give them a little shout out
right now.
They were down, remember, they were down 3-1 to the Maple Leafs
in the first round.
Since that moment that they were down 3-1,
they've gone 1, 2, 3.
This is Mike Franceso.
11 and 2.
Holy shit.
11 and 2 since that moment.
And I love the explanation that our hockey guys give
for their success, which is like there's something about it.
You just put on that sweater in the playoffs
and you're able to play well.
Carrie Price is standing on his head
for the entirety of the playoffs.
So that means he's hot.
Yes.
He's been incredible.
Absolutely incredible.
So yeah.
All right.
Well, let's get back to Jay Williams,
because Jay Williams needs a lot more talk.
It's a very wildly incorrect take.
You're right.
He picked the worst possible franchise to use as an example.
If I were to relate it to this podcast,
it would be like if we had Blake Shelton on,
where I congrats to the first Blake to ever appear
on part of my take.
It would be as if you tweeted when
Mookie Betts signed his long-term deal with the Dodgers.
Congrats to the Dodgers for signing
the first African-American player.
In major league history.
In major league history.
Mookie Betts.
Yeah.
Like that's how he picked the worst possible team
to do this for.
And the hacker excuse.
I can't believe he went with it.
We've said this a million times,
but if you're going to say that you got hacked,
you should at least put in a little bit of effort
by tweeting out some porn links, some random Russian,
some, I don't know, like trolling Chipotle or something.
I mean, I feel like they always do that too.
Number one, of course, of action for me
would just like change your avatar to the mask
from view for Vendetta.
Correct.
Just put that up there.
And then people would be like, oh, shit.
Anonymous got another one.
Right.
And it just started, yeah.
And just tweeted Elon Musk, being like, I'm coming for you.
Give me Bitcoin.
Yeah, like that's, it's so easy.
Yeah, post a picture of a Bitcoin chart.
Yeah.
It's so easy to just to just give a little bit more
plausibility to your awful, awful excuse.
I don't think there's anyone who's
having a worse like month than Jay Williams
because he had the KD thing where KD just called him a liar.
And then this is you, dude, you cover the NBA.
He's probably having a worse month.
Well, if you think he's dead.
No, I mean, yeah.
Good point.
Right.
Exactly.
He might have an awesome month.
Like having a whale orgy.
Just fucking every whale that he sees.
Exactly.
But he, Jay Williams, you cover the NBA.
Like that's what you do.
How did you get this so wrong?
I don't understand it.
And how did you say that?
Who told you to do the hacker thing?
Well, the crazy part about Jay Williams is I think
I need to go back and look at his exact career.
But I'm pretty sure that he was a professional NBA analyst
at the time that Doc Rivers won a national championship.
Excuse me, an NBA championship.
Yeah, you got it.
With the Celtics.
What was that, 2009?
10, 2008.
2008.
So maybe not.
But close enough.
Yeah, he had a little phase in between his basketball career
where he was trying to make a comeback and everything.
But it's just I actually think the hacking excuse
is worse than the original tweet.
And the original tweet might be the worst tweet of all time.
Like that's how bad the hacking excuse.
I changed my account as a project.
What is the exact phrasing?
I'm going to use this as a template going forward.
This one said it's I got it right here as it relates
to the Boston Celtics tweet that came from my account
a couple of hours ago dot dot dot space.
I did not post that.
And my passcode has now been changed.
Unbelievable.
I want to see proof.
I want to see proof.
I want to see proof that you change your passcode.
I want to see the email saying that you had that you just
updated your password.
And my favorite part, anytime somebody gives an explanation
like this, like the fake hacker thing,
if you just look at what they try to tweet to tweet through it.
Yeah, he didn't even do that good a job of tweeting through it.
He just kind of carried on with his day like he was still
just analyzing Trey Young, which and then and then let's see.
343 replies to that one.
Five point nine thousand replies to this one.
Hundred thirty eight replies here.
Drew Holidays is straight putting in work.
A hundred replies to that one.
It's all about I guess in a way it's probably the smart thing
to just pretend it didn't happen because he's not going to.
Well, maybe he won't lose his job in the short term, maybe long term.
I just he's just a clown now.
Like everyone's going to laugh at him and be like, dude, you did that.
Like, why not just say I fucked up?
I messed up.
I don't know why I thought this was the first blackhead coach
for the Celtics that was clearly an idiotic thing.
I've you shouldn't have even gone with that.
I've reached out to Bill Russell.
I've had a conversation.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, like you there's so many different ways to go about this.
The ring a little bit ring.
Post your kids, post your dog, do all that shit.
But the way you went about it was I got hacked.
Come on, man.
I think I need to find out what Jay Williams had to say
about Kyrie stepping on Lucky the Leopard kind, because this could be
another case of the curse of Lucky.
Yeah, that's true.
It's getting everyone other Twitter thing before we get to Paul Rabel,
RG three just now.
I don't bidding war, baby.
He basically just got too horny online and fell in love with his wife
in front of everyone. I think that's sweet.
I think that you should be you should be encouraged in this society
to be extremely inappropriate, horny to a woman online, as long as she's your wife.
Yes, it was probably in their vows that he's he's allowed to just
she's allowed to thrice trap him online.
And then I mean, he is doing the Lord's work.
He's like intentionally sticking his neck out there or some other appendage
and drawing all the attention, taking all the slings and arrows
in order to just like help his wife's business get off the ground.
And I'd like to that he retweeted his wife.
His wife was like, thanks for always being there for me like RG three.
Like, see, she can she's cool with this.
It's Greta. No shit.
Put some respect on Greta's name.
Yeah, just any time you think like, hey, here's a video of my wife's ass.
And I'm going to tell everyone how hot she is.
Just stop right there.
No, no, I say go for it, Robert. Go for it, buddy.
Well, you are horny online.
I'm not I'm not horny, but I do appreciate the right of another man
in this society to be horny.
I think it's what our forebears fought for.
But I think it's also a very underrated thing about Greta
that her Twitter or her Instagram handle is Greta G three.
So she got the Griffin and she got the three.
She's the third Greta. She's Greta G three.
This is the guy who's got a bidding war, Jake. Oh, yeah.
Yes, Peter Fox.
He blew them away with his own life.
I can just picture like Jimmy Pitara and Norby sitting there watching
like they pop in an old like a VHS tape of his audition that they recorded on
and they sit down and they just get blown backwards like the MTV commercials
from like the 1980s.
By the way, one last thing about Jay Williams,
because I do think that the playbook for him is if he loses his job at ESPN,
he's going to be like the Internet.
He'll do a big like piece about how the Internet bullied him and was mean to him.
I give full permission, Jay Williams, to use every single piece of clip
that was said in this show.
Yeah, I would actually be honored for you to be like the guys
who part of my take called me a clown and that really hurt my face.
It sent me into a dark place.
Because, you know what, if he had just said you made a mistake,
I'd have been like, we all make mistakes.
We would have laughed about it.
But the fact that you tried to tell us that you were hacked, uh, uh, dude,
there's never been a better situation to use the notes app than this.
Then right after that, that's all you had to do.
Just notes app.
It just put put out like not even just a singular notes app.
If you had done the four different squares of screenshots
of extremely long notes, I think by the end of the night, we all would have
forgotten about it. It's such a nothing burger.
If you just respond right away being like, whoops, my bad.
Here are all the blackhead coaches in Celtics history. Boom. Done.
Oh my God. Oh, we're gonna say, Jake, if that were to happen,
there's an opening on John Shire's future staff to return to his alma mater.
Oh, that would be make the first black assistant coach at Duke, right?
And Nolan, Nolan Smith.
I mean, there's a million.
Nolan Smith is currently on staff.
I know. And there's also what?
Cable, was there for a while?
Cable now. Johnny Dawkins.
That would be great as round for a while.
All right, there you go.
That's how I'm going to.
Who has the college basketball podcast here, Jake?
I'm one of the people on the.
There we go. I I'll give Jay.
This is Jay Williams out.
If he goes and works on John Shire staff
and in his introductory press conference says, finally, there's
assistant coach at Duke, I will tip my hat and be like, I'm back on your side.
All right, let's get to Paul Rable.
Before we do that.
Yeah, before we get to Paul Rable, our great friends at Cours Seltzer
are presenting this interview.
We love Cours Seltzer.
We joke around a lot on this show.
It's no secret, but one thing I don't joke around about is my favorite
flavor of Cours Seltzer because it's new flavor.
It's delicious.
You've probably seen me holding it in pictures.
You've probably seen seen me yugging it once or twice.
It's Saving Rivers.
It's here to stay for the summer.
And it's called Cours Seltzer orange cream pop flavor.
It is delicious.
I love the orange cream pop.
It's got my personal stamp of approval on it.
All the boys love it.
It's reminiscent of those old summertime ice creams that used to have on warm days.
Cours orange cream pop hard seltzer is a nostalgic blend of orange and vanilla
with a touch of sweetness to taste like orange cream soda.
It really is the perfect refreshing treat for a hot summer day.
I cannot wait to get down to the PFT beach house in July and go out to the ocean
and crack open my first ice cold Cours orange cream pop hard seltzer.
It's going to be the official star summer for me.
The Cours Seltzer scoreboard is also tracking how many gallons of river
water that we're saving all year long.
We've saved more than 70,000 gallons so far.
We got a whole summer ahead of ahead of us, too.
And the goal is to restore a million gallons of river water with 2000 cases of
Cours Seltzer.
If we hit 2000, 2000 cases, Hank will have to go fishing and prove
that he can catch a fish with his bare hands in the Hudson River.
So if you go out and you buy no East River, you got that wrong.
It's East River.
So when the other day I was like, hey, man, just so you know,
there's no East River in Alaska, but there's a bunch of other ones.
It's like Harlem. There's got to be an East River in Alaska.
Come on. The Skunkle River.
So if you always get so mad when we butcher that, the Skuckle River.
We name a river in Alaska, the East River, and then you can go to Alaska.
Yeah, like the reverse Denali Avers, changed the name.
Someone get on that for Hank.
So tweet us pictures of your Cours Seltzer with hashtag LetHankFish
for every pick that we count as one case added to the scoreboard
until we get to 500 gallons.
We love you guys.
You can find out where to get Cours Seltzer.
If you go to CoursSeltzer.com, you can get it delivered straight to your door
on Drizly or Instacart.
Celebrate responsibly for every 12 packs sold through 12 31 2021
Cours will purchase services from change the course to restore 500 gallons
of fresh river water, max 5 billion gallons through 2021 details at CoursSeltzer.com.
Now here he is. Paul Rable.
OK, we now welcome on a friend of ours.
He is a recurring guest, a good friend of ours.
Thank you. It is Paul Rable.
We got a lot of things to talk about.
I don't know where you want to start.
You pick any topic and we'll figure out a way to get where we're going.
Let's jump right into it or you can give us a number.
I have a list of things.
So I'm going to start with thanking you all from over a year ago.
We did our first interview.
You advised me to grow the sport by showing a dick pic.
Yeah. And I didn't do that, but I got close to it a couple of weeks ago.
Wait, no, I don't like what you're doing.
I don't like what you're doing right now because you're trying.
You're actually getting in front of the story that was topic number three.
Paul Rable is now officially, officially Julian Edelman not only retired from the NFL.
He retired from being the Thirst Trap King.
You are now the Thirst Trap King.
You are addicted to taking pictures and videos with your shirt off.
You think? Yeah. That many times.
Dude, this video, we got to put it up there,
but this video of you in the locker room after your first game,
when everyone else is wearing their shorts and you're in your underwear.
I cringe for you. Spandex.
Yeah, it was bad. No, you were in underwear.
And I think you're wearing, is it a sports bra?
That that was wrong.
I didn't see that taken over.
I was trying to figure out whether or not to post it because you could see.
No, no, no. The mushroom shape of my penis.
The fact that everyone else had their shorts on and you're like, wait, guys,
we're going to do a quick video. Let me whip my shirt shorts off.
And you get out the game balls in my underwear.
I've been playing this game for 25 years and it's a quirk of mine.
As soon as the game's over, I take everything off because I'm just sweaty
and I want to be done with it. Yeah.
So those who have played with me know that that wasn't a Thirst Trap move.
But you do Thirst Trap.
It was risky. I've got hair everywhere.
You know, you do Thirst Trap on occasion.
Yeah. I mean, isn't Instagram Thirst Trapping?
I listen, if you admit it, it actually is OK.
You're lucky because you built a brand that like you can make fun of people.
And that is yeah, the engagement. Correct.
You guys stand alone. You guys stand alone.
You like, listen, everyone's envious.
If I were in great shape like you, I'd probably have my shirt off all the time.
So as long as you admit that like, hey, yeah, sometimes I'll pop the shirt off
because I want, you know, some people slide in my DMs.
I'm cool with that.
Julien Edelman, he begrudgingly got to that point after the father's,
the famous father's day post where it was just him with his shirt off,
being like happy father's day to my dad.
You haven't done that yet. Was that what that was?
It really was. It was so, it was insane.
But the the underwear thing.
I'm getting in front of it. Wow.
So it was saying that that was attractive that you brought it up.
Yeah, because it would have been worse had we gotten to bring it up on our own terms.
Look, you guys told me to do it, a version of that.
Uh-huh. True. I forgot about that.
But the other ideas we had, I feel like we had a million good ones.
Well, Water Dogs. Water Dogs is a great idea.
You're using the neon ball idea. Neon ball.
Here's an idea you haven't done. Jake Marsh calling a game.
We're trying to figure that out.
Who do we got to talk to?
Sam Floyd at NBC.
So have you talked to him?
We've talked to him.
Should we call him?
Right now? Yeah.
That's good. Give me a call.
All right. I was ready to call him if you weren't.
Okay. Yeah, because I thought you were going to be like.
All right. So Sam Floyd, Sam Floyd runs talent at NBC Universal and NBC Sports.
So make sure you tell him that we're taping so that we can't get in trouble.
Right.
What are you doing? Any text?
Okay, you're calling. He's calling. He's calling.
Oh, since you started to voice.
Let's try it one more time. Let's try it.
Oh, no. Trouble in Paradise.
Oh, all right, I'll try.
This works. We'll try later in the show.
No. Oh, the plane.
Whose phone is off? Oh, man.
All right. What are you drinking? Is that a tea?
No, it's vitamin C.
It looks like dip. Water. Yeah.
I saw it and I was like, oh, who's dipping?
Yeah. Well, it was it was a semi longer night last night.
So. Oh, OK. All right.
So so Jake, though, needs to get on the call.
How do we do this?
What's the latest?
Because I did pass you on to their team.
Is it done? Are we going to make this announcement now?
Wait, I was I was waiting to hear from you.
You're waiting here for me.
Yeah, I've not heard from anyone at NBC.
Sounds like you're big league in our boy, Jake.
No, I'm not big league.
Tell them, tell them I am advocating. Am I not?
Yes, he's you said you have influence,
but Sam makes the final call. Sam makes a call.
But I think we're I think we're going to get it done. OK.
So it'd be the Colorado weekend.
Any game. I'll say right now.
I know they want him to do the Water Dogs game for sure.
I'll say it right now.
Be the most watched game you have.
Over your live tweeting. Yeah, everything.
No, no, well, we'll obviously boost him.
It will be a collaborative effort,
but it will be the most watched game that you have.
Like, not obviously if it's on NBC Sports,
it's not going to be as much as NBC, but platform platform.
It might be. I think he will.
He will deliver the numbers.
He will deliver the best numbers that you have.
I feel like that's right.
He said to not get it real. It's good.
From a rating standpoint,
are you only planning on playing during the weekends
where your game is going to be on NBC and not NBC Sports?
We have games on NBC Sports and NBC.
Why is your game only set up on NBC?
You like to play on NBC.
It's not my choice, guys.
It's out of your hands.
NBC makes this call.
It's, you know, and how do you get Chris Hogan on your team?
Our coach liked him and wanted to give him a tryout.
And what's your team's record?
We're one and two. Oh, really?
Yeah. Well, I didn't know that.
Yeah, we're two and one. Oh, that's better.
I beat them in this while I shouldn't say I beat a dog,
but I beat the water dogs into shape.
I used negative reinforcement to get the water dogs.
I think it worked.
They just didn't shoot the first game.
I don't know who the coach is. Right.
But he was on the hot seat. Now he's not.
Yeah. Andy Copeland's good coach.
He came from college.
So he sucked week one.
Well, I didn't like you made that clear.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't this good, though?
Don't you want us to talk about it organically?
Of course. Yeah, I think it's fun.
I've like found my niche with with La Crosse
and that is just criticizing my own team
to the point where it's kind of awkward.
And I've listened to the show
early in the week when you guys are talking about power play.
Have you talked to any of the players on the water dogs?
Are they feeling pressure from ownership?
Are they mad at team PMT?
I haven't talked to them.
But my take is that it's a love-hate relationship.
Yeah. They love us. We love them.
They love you, but they also hate when you hate them.
But it's, again, it's results.
Right, it's results.
And to talk about Monday's show,
I don't know when this is going to air,
but we were just actually talking about La Crosse.
I don't know what the fuck he did to us,
but we actually were talking about La Crosse.
It's a good sport.
I want to punch myself in the face.
Like, what am I doing?
You'll stop saying that at one point.
I don't go back.
I think that's part of the fun.
As commissioner, have you found it hard to translate?
You know, you've always been a player.
You've been around the game for a while.
Now you're in charge of things.
And you sometimes have to be the bad guy.
So like with suspensions, things like that,
you got a player biting another player's finger off.
Like, to me, I say, let boys be boys.
That's just, that's part of the game.
It generates headlines, right?
So on one hand, you're like, well, La Crosse is in the news.
That's great.
On the other hand, well, there's a finger missing.
On the other hand, you're like, oh, that kind of sucks.
I got to suspend this guy.
So like, how do you balance that between being the bad guy
and being, you know, I'm just Paul, I'm your good buddy.
So I'm not the commissioner.
You're not?
No, no. Shadow commissioner.
You guys know that.
I'm a co-founder.
I do not know that.
I'm not the commissioner.
So we have our head of player experience
and our head of competition.
So Seth Tierney and Brian Silkout run that.
We have a disciplinary and conduct committee.
And I actually cannot make a comment.
Who runs that?
It's a board.
No, Mike and I are recused from any competition on field.
Interesting.
So can you get fined?
You guys know that.
You have access to all the owner stuff.
Yeah, I've read.
I want to be the commissioner.
Make me the commissioner.
I poured through those documents.
This feels a little bit egregious.
You guys know the rules.
No, I don't.
Wait, would you get fined if you said something?
I would be potentially in legal risk.
Could we get, as owners, could we get fined?
No, because you're not.
Yeah, you're just trying to impact your team.
So you guys can win.
We can say whatever the fuck we want.
You say whatever you want.
Right.
You could get fined for saying stuff
that you shouldn't say, but this isn't out of context.
If you fish hook somebody, the person who's getting fish hooks
should be allowed to bite your finger off.
That might be your opinion.
Could we get fined for saying that a month ago,
you hit us up and you're like, hey,
we've just finished the script for this season
and the water dogs are going to lose the first game
and then they're going to win every other game and win the title.
So just want to let you guys know
this will be great for us.
You wouldn't get fined, but we could press a suit
because of the NDA that we have in place.
We have an NDA?
Yeah.
What are you, Dan Bilzerian?
Oh, fuck.
We have an NDA?
No, everyone knows when you rig a league,
everyone signs an NDA in advance.
You're right.
That's right.
That's right.
With that NDA, got it.
I got you.
I got you.
Yeah, so I see what you did
because they're going to lose a couple of more games.
So technically what you said isn't exactly
what's going to happen.
But it's pretty close.
Are we going to do a three point line eventually?
Yeah, we talked.
We're going to do like logos all over the field.
For real?
No.
Oh, you were talking about rockin' jock
when you'd have like the five point shot.
That would be, what do you guys think?
I think a three point line would be cool.
I think just make goals worth four points each.
Why?
Because the higher the score, the cooler.
The better?
Yeah.
It was Tony Khan.
That was the owner of the Jaguars.
Do you want to see if he wants to invest in the league?
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's pitch him.
PFT's right though, more scoring.
Like if the game ends 52 to 48,
I guess you wouldn't, if it was four points, you can't.
Score got me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, our game was high scoring on NBC.
What was the final score?
15-14 in overtime, we lost.
Let me ask you this.
If you just,
You didn't watch that game?
No, that was a game you napped.
Dude, I fell asleep during all these games.
I can't believe that.
If you go out there and one week in the net
is one inch wider and one inch taller,
does anybody realize?
Yes.
The players would, but the fans might not.
By an inch?
Yeah, big time.
Well, the goalies suck anyway.
What's up with that?
What's up with that take?
They get like 20 saves in a game.
They're ridiculously talented.
I feel like every shot goes in.
Every shot on goal goes in.
All you gotta do is shoot it low.
They can't get it.
It's a more difficult save when you shoot low, but.
Right.
I know I'm not saying,
listen, I'm not saying that it's a goalie problem.
I think it's just, they're set up to fail.
I think you said it was a goalie problem.
Might have been.
I might have said that.
But they are set up to fail.
The goalies do suck.
Yeah, they do.
It's both.
They don't suck.
Who's the best goalie?
I can't say that.
The best goalie?
Yeah, of all time.
Of all time.
All time.
Mmm.
Is it Dylan or Cody?
I would say probably,
it's a good question.
It changes over time.
I mean, the best goalie that I played with was
Jesse Schwarzman.
And how many saves did he get?
Like, what was his percentage?
He would save the ball 65% of the time.
See that?
I guess that's, okay.
So that's where I have,
I struggle with it because like,
you think hockey goalie,
hockey goalies are in the 95%,
you know what I mean?
They're that high?
Yeah, 90%.
But that sucks.
That's why I don't like watching hockey
because it's so goddamn hard to score.
You know, what changed hockey forever
was Patrick Wah doing the butterfly.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they never got down on their legs
until that happened.
So everyone was like,
what's the butterfly gonna be on the cross?
Blaise Reardon does it.
What does he do?
He literally drops to his knees
and he keeps his stick high
and then he soaks shots in the midsection
and is close.
Do they wear a cup?
He soaks shots?
They wear huge cups.
They, it's no longer cups.
They basically put pillows.
Wait, what's the guy's name?
Blaise Reardon.
His name's Blaise?
His name is Blaise.
No, Blaise Reardon.
We've talked about Blaise Reardon on the show.
Yeah, he's goalie of the year.
He's really talented.
I feel like I could score on him.
Depends from where you're shooting.
10 feet.
Probably.
Yeah.
That's my problem.
See?
10 feet's close.
Also, I just,
here's my problem with lacrosse is I,
you know, like I feel like
if you just run as fast as you can
right in the middle and just shoot it,
you score every time.
That's right.
But defenses are gonna try to stop you from doing it.
You get jammed up trying to do that.
But I guess I get frustrated
because I'm like, dude,
just fucking run in the middle and shoot it.
It seems that way.
Don't you feel that way
when you watch a basketball?
Why isn't a guy just like,
you see LeBron cut and dunk three times a game?
You're like, why doesn't he do this every time?
No, you know what it is?
I just solved all of lacrosse.
You need to have charges.
You would want charges?
Yeah, that would be awesome
if guys could do the charge.
Yeah.
On the grass.
Yeah, it'd just be like more penalties.
Do you feel like it's hard to tell what's going on?
Guys taking charges would be sick.
And that solves the game.
Yeah.
We're gonna get back to Paul Rable in a second
before we do.
I wanna talk to you guys about Shady Rays.
We love Shady Rays here on part of my take.
They are the official shades of PMT.
I wear Shady Rays every day of my life.
They look great.
They feel awesome.
They've got the best rebate and warranty in the industry.
If you lose them, if they get damaged,
they will send you a brand new pair.
No questions asked.
You're gonna lose some sunglasses this summer.
The sooner you accept that, the better.
If you lose them, if they get damaged, boom.
New pair of sunglasses and they're great.
They're awesome quality sunglasses.
They look like they're super, super expensive brand names.
But they're very affordable with the promo code PMT35.
You can get 35% off your entire order.
35% off your entire order with promo code PMT35.
So you can get a pair of polarized shades
for as low as $31.
Stock up on high quality polarized sunglasses
for the trips to the lake
or a much needed extended vacation.
It's one of the best deals that we'll run here.
You go to ShadyRays.com.
Use promo code PMT35.
Get 35% off your entire order.
It's actually rare that they do a sale
at the start of summer.
Now's the time when everyone's gonna be buying sunglasses,
but they're giving you a special discount.
If you go to ShadyRays.com, use promo code PMT35.
Get 35% off your entire order.
Go to ShadyRays.com.
You can find their newest and best selection.
Now more Paul Rable.
When you scored that goal the other week,
the one where you like caught it in there,
you jumped in the air, caught it
and then took a couple steps and shot it.
How quickly did you get on the phone with ESPN
and be like, hey, you have to make sure
that this makes the top 10?
It's soon as possible.
It's my goal.
Yeah, it's soon as possible.
My goal has to go.
And I'm not talking seven.
I want it number three or higher.
Right.
And it got nine.
Yeah, that was tough.
Okay, yeah, that sucks.
Yeah.
How is it going?
For real, real question.
How is it going overall?
I feel like you guys, I do nap during the games,
but I do also have found myself,
I don't know what you've done to me,
but I genuinely do enjoy watching the cross.
Maybe not the Water Dogs week one,
but like, how's it going overall?
Do you think you've hit some of the marks
that you've set out for or is it?
Yeah.
I mean, it's gone really well.
So we've expanded.
When we were first in here,
we were talking about competing with MLL
and then we merged with them this off season.
So we are now just a singular professional
outdoor lacrosse league.
And all of those players that were playing in MLL
previously either came on to new teams
or are hoping to get onto a team.
We expanded from six to eight teams.
Was that a hostile takeover?
It wasn't hostile.
It wasn't friendly though.
It sounds like it wasn't.
It wasn't friendly at first.
Interesting.
Back in 2017.
Right.
We're the big swing and dick on the block right now.
You have to join us.
And that never happens in pro sports.
It's usually the upstart league tucks into the existing one.
How many teams do you guys resort?
All of them into perpetuity,
but we just expanded one team with the cannons.
The cannons, okay.
There's a team I was drafted to
and the team that I got traded to.
Got it.
This off season.
Right.
Got it.
Which happened organically.
By your brother, the commissioner.
Got it.
And also the team that Chris Hogan plays for.
Right.
That just happened to happen.
So yeah, when can we get a big check?
That's what I'm mostly interested in.
So let's continue to talk about the PLL on this show.
It makes a ton of sense for you
because the bigger you guys bring attention to the games,
the bigger the games get.
Both positive and negative.
You need to say that.
I put that in there.
The great, both positive and negative attention to the game.
Any attention is good attention.
I will be bringing negative attention.
Right.
Like most of this interview is negatively positioning me.
Well, let me ask you a question that's more about La Crosse.
Do you feel that your high pocket W pocket
was detrimental to a lot of the beginner La Crosse
trying to emulate you?
Great question.
Who wrote that question?
I said what I said.
Are you trying to buy time?
Because you know that you've ruined the future of lots of children.
I was just getting ready to Edelman
and I realized that I was gonna position myself
with a thirst to answer.
No, it was the guy next to you, it was Billy.
Okay.
So it's basically equivalent to the Ovechkin curve,
which he really curves his stick,
which makes it hard to play hockey,
but it's a skill stick.
And what happened was when I first started playing,
that's when radar guns were introduced
at the professional level.
And then the game became all about
who can shoot the fastest,
and people start getting big pockets
and tightening their shooting strings
and then they can't play the game well
except they can shoot a ball hard.
Okay.
So that's probably the answer to your question.
So it fucked up the skill at the youth level.
It was kids just trying to chase a fastball
and not develop all the other stuff
that has to go into it again.
It's like going out and just being a good three-point shooter.
Yeah.
Well, Steph Curry has ruined basketball in a way.
You think so?
Have you thought about doing like Paul Rabel camps
to make up to the children where you go around
and you teach the kids the other important skills?
I was literally only doing.
It's like how to play crash on guitar
and all these other things that you kinda need to know.
You know what crash is about?
Sex, yeah.
Yeah, it's about fucking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a thirst wrap up song.
Yeah, it's his least favorite song.
Yeah.
You should always,
Play your hits.
You should always like their hits
more than the people listening to it, correct?
What Dave was early days is what the PLL
is early days of lacrosse.
He used to busk.
You know that?
Yeah.
He'd set his guitar stand up
and he'd play outside for 20 bucks.
That's pretty cool.
Then he absorbed Carter Boford.
Yeah.
The next thing you know.
Championships.
Yep.
Multiple titles.
And sold out venues.
Yeah.
Which is where we're gonna be.
So what's one thing that we can be doing better
as owners to help grow the game?
Honestly, you guys are two of our best owners.
Thank you.
Two out of, how many?
Our cap table is pretty big.
Yeah.
So Joe Tai, Charning Group,
CAA, Harris Blitzer Sports Entertainment,
Arctos, Crafts,
Blum Capital,
Brett Jefferson, so Hildine,
Rain Ventures.
So all pretty strong.
So the Crafts like Robert Craft.
Yeah.
So he's one of the owners.
He's an owner.
Did you feel like a little bit left out
that you weren't invited to chip in
on that birthday present for him?
No.
It dropped off the Bentley?
No, I'm a lacrosse player.
I can't contribute to that.
Okay.
What's this man up power play situation?
Like I get, people keep coming at me being like,
hey dude, it's man up.
It's like dude, they say power play.
It's a fucking power play.
Okay.
So you're saying that?
What?
Yeah.
Paul Rable, the greatest lacrosse player of all time
is saying it's power play, not man up.
Everyone shut up.
Yeah.
Because what you have then on the women's game
is they're saying woman up
and it's become a gender thing.
And we could just say, you could say player advantage.
That was the other thing we thought about.
Nope.
It's a power play.
It's a power play.
They're on the power.
It's pretty simple.
Everyone knows it.
How does it work though?
Do they take one guy off?
Yeah.
One guy goes to the Sin Ben.
Got it.
Nice.
I like the Sin Ben.
Yeah.
Did he call us that?
We don't, but we should.
Yeah.
That's what we're saying.
The Sin Ben.
The Sin Ben is way cooler.
Done.
Sin Ben.
One of those old school things where you grab money
because you don't pay the players, right?
We pay them a fair amount.
Oh, really?
Oh, okay.
Well, my guys were hitting me up
saying that they wanted some Coors Light at the bar
and you actually still have to pay for that.
Players always want more.
Yeah, that's true.
Did you get the tab?
I saw you were going to pass it through.
Wait, do I answer that question?
He's the shadow commissioner and that could be legal.
Remember, Mike Rable is the head of the CBA,
is head of the players union.
Is that right?
Do I have that right?
No.
No, it's your dad that's the head of the players union.
That's right.
How many vodka Red Bulls are we allowed to buy
for a players per week?
That's not in their rider.
So you could probably...
Is there a cap?
No.
No cap?
No.
I love it.
Do you think, it's never going to go to a city model.
I actually think that what you've done is worked
in that respect that you pick a team,
there is no city, just go with it.
I think we could as it grows,
but right now, just looking at the audience size
objectively and where audiences are all over the country.
And then what we did with our network deal with NBC
is like, let's optimize for distribution and viewership
and let's try to be where our audience is.
So it's going the road.
The other thing is when we saw the Super League
announce and then turn over,
they were basically doing what we are doing already,
which is these teams and these players
have this value that's agnostic to geography
and we're going to take them everywhere
because attention is what drives revenue
more than geography, traditionally.
But geography still has a big pool.
So as we grow, we'll probably flip to that.
And if we did, what would you guys take Water Dogs?
I was going to say Seattle,
just because then we could be like,
we're bringing a fr...
Hey, big...
Five coastal.
Well, no, just a big press conference
where we're bringing a professional franchise
to Seattle where it's like the Sonics.
Well, yeah, I think you got it.
Not even it's the Water Dogs,
like no one watches it.
What's the biggest city in America
that doesn't have a professional sports team?
The ones that typically don't perform well.
Louisville? It used to be Austin.
Yeah, it might be Louisville.
Louisville? Let's see.
That'd be good.
Georgia. Why?
Atlanta has had a number of teams come in and leave.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
Where would we go?
What city do we always trash?
You guys don't like to travel.
I'm surprised it just wasn't like very fast in New York.
Cincinnati would be good.
Honestly, probably Vegas.
Cincinnati would be good.
Vegas, that's...
Everyone's going to try to get Vegas.
Philly would be funny.
Riverside, San Bernardino, Ontario, California.
Metro population 4.3.
Well, Vegas.
Yeah, you guys should just pull Jeff Bezos
and wherever you are or wherever you want to go,
that's where the team goes.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
Cincinnati would be funny though.
We just give free skyline chili to everyone
and then no one comes to the game.
Then shut down the bathrooms at the game.
It's chaos.
Yeah.
No, that's the name of a team.
Yeah.
You're on it.
We need chaos?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I thought Chrome.
No, I thought it was Chrome.
It's Chrome and chaos.
Got it.
Yeah.
You know everything about the PLL.
Chrome.
Chaos.
Redwoods.
Yep.
Whip snakes.
Don't give me any more, Billy.
Your team.
Water dogs.
Cannons.
Yep.
Two more.
Atlai.
Yep.
Atlas.
That's right.
One more.
There's another one.
Very, very forgettable team name.
Fuck.
It is.
No, don't give it to me.
What is, what's the first letter?
It's an A.
It's an A.
Arrows?
Nope.
What is it?
They use arrows.
I don't fucking know.
Archers.
Archers.
Yeah.
Archers are kind of like cowards, right?
When you think about it.
When you think about it.
They just stand all the way.
They're like snipers.
Yeah.
They don't get their hands dirty.
Right.
They're just fucking.
That sucks.
They're the number one team right now.
They are.
Top of the table.
They're 3-0.
They're 2-0.
But they haven't played three games, so.
No.
Their goal difference is huge, though.
What is it?
I think it's like 14.
Oh, because they played us week one.
No, we did.
That helped us.
Cannons.
Cannons beat water dogs.
It was like nine to one.
A lot of people are calling that.
At half time.
A lot of people are calling the water dogs frauds because their goal differential is only one.
They've got two wins.
Right.
Is the F word applicable here?
Uh, I'm not the commissioner.
Right.
Who's the biggest fraud?
That's your dog.
Who's the biggest fraud in the league?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, this is good.
What team?
Or player.
Are you saying player?
It's up to you.
Yeah.
You go with it however you want.
Give us a take.
Who's the biggest fraud in the league?
You can't say us as owners.
Well, I mean, if you polled everyone, they'd say me.
There was an Instagram post this off season.
It got me hot.
Eddie Glaisner, who's a defender for the Redwoods currently.
Yeah.
He's one of their captains.
He uploaded an Instagram story of his buddy and it just said, Ravel's a fraud and I screen
grabbed it.
Whoa.
And I saved it as my home screen.
And now he's suspended for life.
He deleted it.
Oh, okay.
We did not suspend him for life.
Okay.
He killed him.
He unfollowed him.
He's out.
Oh, that's worse.
I like that.
That's worse.
The Instagram king unfollows you?
Yeah.
The Thirst Trap King.
You noticed that.
Unfollowing.
Wow.
That's actually awesome.
You need more of this.
This is good.
Bad blood.
So why don't you fight them?
I mean, I would.
Can you fight in the cross?
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, we got to sell that more.
Yeah.
There was a fight in week three of our first season.
And then what's happened was probably why the games have been so competitive are the
20-20 tournament was basically 20 games in 14 days.
So it's basically like a playoff.
So the competition was so high that it spilled over into this year.
And the first two weeks, everyone's acting like this is single elimination.
So when that happens, fewer people take risks and there's less casual play.
And any time there's a fight, you're making a five-minute trade on both sides.
19 players.
We need a goon.
You need a goon or you need like a big score difference for a tilt to happen.
Can we look into hiring Tom Wilson?
I think we have someone sitting in this room that's our goon that could go into warm-up.
Billy.
Take out their best guy.
I don't think anyone would step to Tom Wilson except one person, Brody Merrill.
Brody.
Brody's the toughest motherfucker I've ever seen in the cross.
So he's, I think he's 38, but he was...
Tom wouldn't beat the fuck out of him.
Break his hip.
He held the heavyweight title in the NOL for probably seven years.
I mean, he's a big fucker, he's 6'5 from Ontario and Chuck's left and right.
And yeah, he'll fight anyone.
When was the last time you got into a fight?
Because people are saying that you're scared, that you won't fight anymore.
They are.
I saw him at an outdoor Instagram.
I haven't fought an outdoor.
That as well.
People are saying you're scared.
The last fight I got into was in the NOL and I was traded the next day.
Oh.
Yeah, which wasn't great.
Did that have something to do with the fight?
I thought I did all right.
I hung in there.
Interesting.
Are you hanging?
I hung in the hole, chin to elbow, jersey grab, reach, only counter.
Okay.
So you wait for him to swing and then you manipulate him with the grab arm and try to
get your one, like a precise shot at him.
Or you use the jersey grab to pop the nose.
Yeah, the jab.
So you're saying that you're not afraid to fight now?
I'm not afraid to fight, but I wouldn't consider myself a great fighter.
Okay.
And I also think it's a bad trade.
No one wants to go in a penalty box for five minutes.
Yeah, and then we call it the Sin Ben and Cross.
How many weeks are there this season?
There's 11.
And when does it end?
September 18th.
That's going up against football.
I know.
I know.
But we have an NBC window.
Let's not do that next year.
Let's truncate it further.
I think you started a little bit earlier, but you can't.
I'm just being...
Well, now that you signed your docs, you've come to the board meetings and give that input.
Right.
I'm just saying you...
That's a bad idea.
Right.
I don't disagree with that.
Yeah.
We got to clean that up.
Football is a juggernaut.
It is.
I mean, it's just not...
That's why you guys...
No, you guys are coming to the championship.
When is that?
It's in D.C.
When is that?
September 18th.
We'll be there.
What day of the week is that?
Saturday.
It's a Saturday.
I'm not going to be there.
You are going to come.
No, I'm not.
Even if the water dogs aren't there?
No, I'm not.
Sunday the 19th.
Sunday the 19th.
Sunday the 19th.
Sunday the 19th.
We're not going to be there.
Has the NFL started up?
Yes.
The NFL started?
Oh, okay.
We'll just be there for an hour or two.
Is that new?
Yeah.
No.
Let's see what the football team's schedule is.
Even if...
You know what?
I speak for the regular...
We are gambling now.
But now that you signed, you can't gamble anymore either because you signed.
We need to get some stuff into the Barstool Sportsbook app.
Right?
All right.
So to be...
I know we have some fun, but I actually...
I do kind of consider myself a lacrosse fan now.
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
I don't know what you did to me.
I actually watched the games.
I fucking watched the game on Peacock.
Yeah.
It was great.
You guys...
I mean, not to get sappy, but you guys have been with us from the start.
It's true.
We broke news here.
Yep.
That we were going to expand.
You guys named a fucking team.
Yep.
Which awesome name, awesome colors.
We do have the best colors.
Yeah.
We love the colors.
Literally from scratch.
Yeah.
So now this obviously...
Your owners.
This leads up to the big announcement we had here today.
Paul Rable is effectively retired from all lacrosse.
You weren't supposed to do that.
That's when you say there's a sappy moment.
I was supposed to say that.
There's a guarantee that we're just not going to let like actually have it.
How long...
How much longer are you going to play for real?
Not much longer.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it just like...
I'm 35.
Yeah.
The worst of the worst is that lasts for weeks.
So you're like, it's actually going to...
A hips crack in the morning.
One more year.
We got to do one more year and then we...
This has got to be like a Coach K thing.
I think there's got to be a retirement tour.
Yeah.
Paul Rable.
Paul Rable.
Now I know you're setting me up.
No, you can't see it.
Honored in every city that you go to.
I can already see it right now.
Next year, this exact time, he's on his Paul Rable retirement tour.
He comes into this office and we're like, dude, you're so fucking lame for this retirement
tour.
You told me to do it.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We should make sure we rewind the tape for two years ago.
I totally forgot about the dictamix.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's like, shit, I am complicit here.
Well, you shouldn't follow our advice.
Like that's on you if you think that we're smart enough to believe.
Our best advice?
Is it?
Because the league's working.
That's true.
And I really do think...
Who's McEvelle in here?
I really do think that I have found like the point, like making fun of our own team is
so much fun.
Right.
So like I've found my way to talk about lacrosse last year, I didn't really know how to talk
about it because I didn't like, I actually like to bully my own team.
Doesn't Jerry Jones do that?
Yeah.
But not as out actively as we do.
It's fun.
Yeah.
So if we lose, it's a problem.
I actually support the boys.
Yeah.
We have a good cup, bad cup thing.
Yeah.
I love our team.
They love you guys.
I think they're perfect at everything.
Except for week one.
Yeah.
Right.
And shooting the ball.
And...
Like there's something about a coach that can't get the boys ready for week one.
Like that's a serious concern that I have.
Wait, you play...
Me too is great.
We play them.
So were you like these guys suck?
No.
I didn't think that.
But I could feel that they were tense.
Yeah.
They didn't shoot.
Yeah.
Wait, did Commissioner Rable be like, hey, you can't beat Paul?
On week one.
Well, I'm not a commissioner.
Right.
Your brother's a CEO?
Yeah, he's a CEO.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Do you think that there's like certain players that feel bad if they make you look stupid
on a highlight?
Or if they like...
No.
It's the opposite.
No.
It's the opposite.
It's the opposite.
It's the kind of friends that I played against and with.
And the reason I feel that way is they came over to join the league.
So they...
Even if they didn't like me, they trusted me to now having very few.
I think...
That actually does suck.
It sucked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So when you...
You want to be friends with us?
Yeah, you can feel bad.
I thought we were friends.
Yeah, no best friends.
Really good friends.
But that means...
So that's another thing.
Like once you retire, you'll probably gain some friends back.
I don't know.
If I retire, then I'll sit in here and you guys...
We can talk about commissioner stuff.
Right.
And commissioners are hated.
So I just think I'll keep being in that place.
I'm seeing.
Do we have any other...
Until I get out of lacrosse.
Do we have any other questions?
Oh, Billy had a...
Are you playing better second week to prove your girl...
To your girlfriend you're actually the goat of lax like you said you were?
Playing better in the second...
So I was shitty in the first week?
Yeah.
That's what...
I thought I was better in the first week.
Yeah.
No comment.
Okay.
No comment.
Is having a girlfriend good for lacrosse?
I think having a girlfriend is a good thing.
Is it good for our sport that we care so deeply about and want to grow?
Yes.
Are you going to have the same amount of time to commit to lacrosse as you did in the past
now that you've got a girlfriend?
Well, in my heyday when I was actually playing my best ball I was married.
And then I stopped being married and started playing my worst ball.
So you were tired from marriage?
I was tired from marriage.
Did these happen?
That was my first retirement.
Yeah.
No.
I think that...
Yeah.
I think there needs to be like wags in lacrosse like there are in soccer and hockey.
I actually think it's all good.
It should be mags.
It should be moms.
So the player's moms should be in the stands because if they're anything like soccer moms
or hockey moms they fucking hate each other and they hate like each other's children and
they get mad when their son doesn't do as well.
You get the moms in a little group together in the stands and let them duke it out.
Have them like throw and beer on each other.
The moms duke it out amongst themselves, not with their girlfriends.
Parent fights play.
Yeah.
Dad's running on the field and trying to punch people.
That's all fun.
Right.
What's the name of the refs?
The refs.
They're great.
They do a great job.
They do a great job.
Good.
I mean, it's a thankless job, right?
Right.
No one goes up wanting to be a ref.
There's a clip of...
I have yet to play a game where we get more power plays than the other team.
Right.
Like, I have an issue with that.
Wow, you're kidding.
Fine for this, but how much do you pay them?
How much do you pay them for real?
They get paid their quote, as they're not officially unionized, but they're a cohort
of refs.
I'm just thinking where I should start to buy them.
We should just buy all the refs.
Look, man, you have your card up.
You showed me your card a link.
You have stocks now that are into your...
We can't talk about this.
Right.
Right.
Okay, that's fair.
So, you can't pay the refs.
What if the owner's unionized?
Yeah.
Have you thought about that?
Yeah.
I'm not sure that that's...
Yeah.
The owner's...
Former unionist's power in the union did.
Working man.
The way that owner's...
Awesome Robert Kraft.
The working man sticking together.
The way the owner's unionized is they just fire us.
Right.
They fire the front office.
I think it's called collusion when owners do it.
Yes.
Now that you've talked about it.
Yes.
Different side of the coin.
All right.
We'll give us one...
Let's end with this.
What's one thing we can do better?
What can we do better for you?
Wow.
I wouldn't have thought that I would be sitting here with that question.
So, I...
Well, I'm being genuine too.
I know.
I'm like, this is a big...
To tell me...
It's just like a genie in the bottle.
What I can do for you.
And we're not going to reverse it on you.
Yeah.
Once you get sincere with us.
Nope.
We're going to take it face value.
Yes.
Host a water dog on the show.
Oh.
Okay.
Yes.
Like an actual water...
Yes.
No.
I want to actually have our...
I want to have Drew.
Snyder.
Snyder.
Yeah.
And also our goalie is cool.
Drew's got a talented girlfriend.
She's a musician in Hollywood.
Hmm.
So, we want...
We want...
Not a mag, but a wag.
Okay.
What about the guy along here in the mustache?
Mickey Schlosser.
All right.
Yeah.
Mickey Schlosser is cool.
I think you don't have Mickey, Drew, and the goalie.
Dylan?
Dylan?
It's Mikey.
Is it Mikey or Mickey?
Mikey.
Mikey?
Mikey.
Yeah.
Am I...
See, this show is...
I'm not really a commissioner.
I didn't even sign his deal.
All right.
So, Mickey.
Dylan.
Dylan is our...
He's got to fucking hate me for that.
Yeah.
Motherfucker doesn't know my name.
Well, Jake got it right because he's going to be announcing him.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Dylan is our goalie?
Dylan's our goalie.
Yep.
Good guy.
And Drew Snyder.
Great guy.
You can bring all three of them on.
If you combine three lacrosse players, you might have the personality of one regular
athlete.
If you finish, bring a dog on once a week through the end of the season.
I mean, if you bring a puppy into this studio, I will absolutely pet it and take care of
it.
Yeah.
No, we'll have...
We'll definitely have someone on the water dogs on.
That actually would be fun.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to say, go to a game.
I was like, no.
I think it's going to happen organically.
You love the PLL.
You know it.
I do love the PLL, but I'm not going to again.
You're trying to reconcile with it internally right now because you grew up hating lacrosse.
I didn't even grow up.
I just...
It's never crossed my mind.
And now it's all in your mind.
Now it's all I think about.
I woke up this morning and I swear to God, first thing I thought when I got up at, I
was like, does Paul and Rob Pinnell not get along on the Atlas?
Is it like a Kyrie LeBron scenario?
Yeah.
That's what I was thinking too.
Neither of us play there anymore because of that.
Good question, Billy.
He fuck had...
He blew up the team.
They had to play here.
No.
I actually...
We both got traded off of Atlas.
Yeah.
We didn't talk about this.
But the co-founder of the league got traded by one of the coaches that he participated
in the hiring process for and to the cannons and Rob Pinnell got traded, Ryan Brown got
traded, who's with the water dogs.
And all of us are playing well.
So they blew up the whole...
You guys won the championship?
We didn't play well in 2020.
Oh, but you won in 2019, right?
Nope.
Oh.
Haven't won in a while.
I know my history.
Who won?
The Whipstanks.
Whipstanks.
Two times?
Two times.
They did very good.
Win the third time.
That's bad for La Crosse officially.
That's what happened in the NHL when they started.
I think the Canadians won the first three.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're told that you have a very important podcast to do right now called Token CEO.
Yes.
Are you going to go on there and bash us?
No.
I love you guys.
All right.
We gave you some tough love.
I mean...
But I actually do like La Crosse.
That's the right stuff.
It's fucking gross.
I hate it.
I really don't...
I don't have another...
Goddamn.
That should have been my wish.
You don't talk shit about La Crosse anymore.
I don't have enough time in my life to add another sport and La Crosse has somehow gotten
into the rotation.
It's more...
That's the problem.
So what are you cutting?
Nothing.
If you had to cut a sport...
Time with my son.
You happy you did that?
Yeah.
You did that.
If you were to cut one sport, what would it be?
La Crosse.
That was as easy.
Can we end the segment before that then?
All right.
Well, Ravel, the best.
Thank you.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks, guys.
Our Fest of the Week is brought to you by 3Chea.
3Chea is the industry leader in Delta 8 THC products.
All of the products are formulated by Biochemist.
They're made right here in the USA with USA Grown Hemp.
3Chea's Delta 8 is a federally legal version of THC.
It's a more functional alternative to marijuana.
It's going to give you a great buzz, awesome body feel, but you get a clear head.
You get less anxiety, get less paranoid.
It's available online at 3chea.com and at select retailers around the country.
You have to be 21 to purchase it, and remember, it's not CBD.
This is psychoactive.
It will give you a buzz, so please use it responsibly.
I love 3Chea.
Again, start out with like half a gummy, maybe a quarter of a gummy if you're taking those.
You don't want to do a full one right off the bat until you know how it's going to
hit you.
It can last a little bit too long for some folks.
If they take a full one, they're very first time.
So work your way up.
Figure out what works for you, but it will make you feel great.
I love 3Chea.
You can use pardon at checkout.
Use promo code pardon at checkout.
Get 5% off your order.
Go to 3chea.com, get a vape, get gummies, tinctures, oils.
You can make your own homemade edibles with those.
Use promo code pardon at checkout.
Get 5% off your order at 3chea.com.
Okay, let's wrap up.
We have Firefest of the Week.
Henry, would you like to start?
Sure.
My Firefest was that the creator of Game of Thrones.
This is like one of those things.
Game of Thrones was obsessed with it, loved it, was fully invested into it, A-Season
sucked, took me a long time to get over.
It was just a shitty feeling when you're so invested in something and then it just gets
wasted away.
But I had gotten over it and it had been a long time, been like 2 or 3 years or whatever
since it came out.
Hadn't really thought about it.
And then today, George Martin says, he regrets lighting the Game of Thrones series to pass
the books.
I wish I'd stayed ahead.
I had a 5 book head start.
I never thought they'd catch up with me, but they did.
That made it strange.
The show was ahead going in somewhat different directions.
So basically, he was just trying to be like, yeah, I also thought the ending sucked.
Uh-huh.
Whoops.
Yeah, sorry guys.
He was also like, my bad.
That was on me.
It just then refreshes all the memories and you're like, yeah, it really sucks how bad
they fucked that show up.
It's also been hilarious for the last, I don't know, 4 years watching George RR Martin periodically
do interviews being like, yeah, I'm working real hard on the next book.
It's almost done.
And I don't think he's written a single word.
If you look at anything that he said in the press recently, I think he's just completely
lying about it.
I don't think he started the next book at all.
Yeah.
I agree with you.
He just basically was like, oh, they'll never make it this fast.
I mean, but also respect to George RR Martin because he's cashed in.
He's probably like sitting on a weird beach somewhere.
I know.
He's sitting in like a dimly lit pub somewhere wearing a felt hat.
Dude, he's a pants at the beach guy.
Yeah.
He's sitting in a library somewhere by himself.
Yes.
And just being like, yeah, I'm definitely hard at work on this.
Like I have enough money to kill God, so I'll be fine for the rest of my life.
But I mean, there was a global pandemic we had.
The whole world was locked in their houses and no one was like, you should watch Game
of Thrones.
Like that's when you know it was how bad of a fuck up it was.
I remember everyone talking about shows you should watch and stuff and no one was like,
watch Game of Thrones.
Right.
I tried that.
Loved it until actually, you know what?
I didn't really.
This gives me mad.
I think about it sometimes.
I'm like, oh, I love Game of Thrones.
I should watch it.
But I know if I start watching it, I'm just going to get mad.
I didn't.
Yeah.
Because I'm going to get invested again knowing that it sucks at the end.
So it's like, what's the point?
When I watched it because I'd seen the last season one time before when it was happening
in real time.
But when I watched it through the entire thing, I thought the last season sucked, but I wasn't
like pissed off about it.
But that's because I didn't have like years invested into it.
You invest time, right?
I didn't spend like two years waiting for that last season.
I was mad that it sucked, but yeah, I was the same way.
I had binged it in like a matter of months.
So it wasn't people invested years and years of their life.
We should get him on the show.
He's a big Jets fan.
Perfect.
George R. R. Martin.
Care to explain yourself?
Yeah.
We'll help you write the next season of it.
Yeah.
Just do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll write the next book.
How do you feel about one of the dire wolves having a boner?
It's question number one.
And then they get lost north of the wall.
Yeah.
We can actually make this work, George.
Absolutely.
All right.
PFT, your firefest.
My firefest of the week is there's a massive blood shortage in America.
Oh, there's a big blood shortage because I guess people aren't taking time out.
People aren't taking time out to go give blood anymore because we spent the last year making
a lot of sacrifices and name public health.
I think it's the last thing on people's minds.
I was thinking that three of us could start some sort of a group like a berserker blood
organization.
Oh, I'm in.
Count me in.
We just encourage people to go out, donate blood, your saving lives.
We had Greg Olson on the show earlier this week, and he told us about an easy way to save
lives, which is becoming an organ donor.
An easier way to save lives is by becoming...
But PFT, I don't really have a lot of money, but I like to drink.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good point, Hank.
But the great thing about giving blood is if you give blood, you get drunk off like
half a beer afterwards.
So it's actually very economical.
Are you saying that like...
People who have been doing outreach to try to get people to donate blood have just not
been doing their job?
They haven't been doing their job.
They just haven't been getting the message out there?
I think...
You know what I think happened?
I think a lot of people tried to do the whole donate blood thing for clout last year, and
they didn't have any follow through on anything.
Got it.
So they weren't able to actually enact change.
I think that we could actually encourage people here.
And also, if you donate blood, you get like a little lightheaded.
If you mix that with a workout, you feel like you're a god almost.
You feel like you're this big like behemoth of a man, and all you do is watch football
and eat meat.
Uh-huh.
And talk about sports.
I'm Mr. Mead.
You are Mr. Mead.
I eat the most meat in this room.
I'm just thinking that like, you know, you could save a life if you donated blood.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm gonna think about...
I'm in.
I'm in.
Count me in.
The berserker blood cult, we call it the BBC.
You know what?
You sold me.
All right.
You are a great salesperson when it comes to this.
Thank you.
I'm just trying to be an ambassador for health.
Write down Mr. Mead.
Counts for one pint of blood.
All right.
Put me down.
I'll put you down for one.
Yeah.
All right.
My firefest is that we went to Stufiner's house, and I'm old, and I'm tired, and I'm
fucking like, my whole body hurts from playing wiffle ball and wrestling with Billy in the
pool.
Also, I think that because we haven't been out in public and doing things and like taking
pictures, we were just getting roasted.
Every picture that was posted yesterday, people were just going over with a fine tooth comb
being like, look at this, look at that, look at this, because that's what the internet loves
to do, and we haven't given them a chance to do that in a very long time.
And there's gonna be video coming out too.
That's the worst.
Oh, great.
Are you gonna selectively edit that as well?
No, I'm not.
No.
I'm worried about myself.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not good.
The worst part about being fat is when people take pictures of you, you look even
fatter.
Also, fuck the people that are like, you don't have a six pack.
I said that a week ago.
Yeah, that's true.
I brought that up, that I don't have a six pack, and people are like, dude, you don't
have a six pack.
I'm like, yeah, I know.
I said it, that I'm working to get there.
It's crazy that you haven't gotten a six pack in five days.
Do this for me, AWLs.
Next time you want to roast us, post a picture of yourself in the reply.
That's your, I'll retweet a good roast if you look hotter than all of us.
Not only a picture of yourself, but a picture of yourself standing at the exact same angle
that we're standing at.
Yes.
Yes.
It is angle season big time.
And I'll let you know that I think all the pictures that Hank posted online today were
candid shots, which is always, that's always a real treat.
Just really letting it all hang out of breath.
Yeah.
Standing sideways, reaching out and touching our knee because it's sore.
And we're definitely at the age where just spending a day outside, if I'm outside for
eight hours in a day, the next day, I feel worse than any hangover you could possibly
give me.
Yeah.
I don't want to say, well, I'm going to indoor cat now.
Yeah.
I don't say, I want to say we're victims in any way, but we do get bullied really hard
online whenever a picture drops.
When the new pictures drop, it is a roast show.
It's bad.
And you know what?
Unfortunately, it's a roast show every time I look in the mirror every morning.
So I see it.
I know it.
I've got to tighten it up.
We'll get better.
Mr. Meat is back.
Yeah.
Playing wiffle ball and wrestling with Billy in the pool was a lot.
What else do we play?
Demi.
Demi.
And Demi was fun.
It was okay.
I enjoyed Demi.
I thought it was okay.
It's hard to see.
Like there was a lot of moments when we were playing Demi where it's like, what are we
doing?
Yeah.
Most of the time.
I got a couple of them.
What was crazy was Jake was like dominating at Demi and he didn't even have his glasses
on.
I know.
I think Jake just wears the glasses because he thinks it makes him look more professional.
There was a moment and I'm sure if you want to go see Stool Seed, it's all there, but
we started just playing a game of like football rugby hybrid with a greased up watermelon.
And I was just wrestling Billy and after like 20 minutes of it, I was like, ow, my wrist
hurts.
Ow, my knee hurts.
Like why am I wrestling a 22 year old?
This is a very good way to hurt myself.
I realized it was about time to hang him up when I had Glenny Balls apologize to me twice
for kicking me in the balls.
At that point, it's like, okay, I don't, I don't, I don't need to be, uh, have my virility
and fertility stolen via Glenny Balls big toe.
I was just hanging off Billy as he was trying to get a watermelon out of his hands.
Like, what are you doing with your life?
But Stu was a great host.
We love being out there.
People pleaser.
I do want to go out to his house again and again, especially in the summertime.
Yeah.
More of a ball.
I love being in Long Island.
We got a stretch and on his pool.
Yeah.
He did say Long Island.
We're Long Island people now, I guess, because they love us out there.
Um, all right, Billy or no, Jake and then Billy, Billy, we're wrapping up with fire
fest and a recap.
Yeah.
Couple of things.
Shout out the match ism three minutes, 25 seconds in the Billy balloon popping challenge
was electric.
They almost threw darts at us, but that was very funny.
It was a bad beat too, because he was done at about two minutes or so.
Yeah.
And then the last one was real doozy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, second, earlier in the show, you guys chatted with Paul Rable about a potential
proposal.
Oh, and I'm here to say breaking moves.
This is breaking moves.
I can't do it.
I'm gonna.
Breaking moves.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I didn't do it.
No, really do it.
That was it.
What the fucking cow doesn't want to come out of the barn anymore.
What was that?
It's late, but it's for a big announce was not breaking.
We fucking known for a while.
Oh, that's actually true.
But Hank.
Reversed.
You guys.
Reversed.
For the AWLs breaking news.
Okay.
It is happening.
July 31st.
A double header on Peacock.
I will be doing the play by Jake on the clock.
Yes, Jake.
That's a good hashtag.
Jake on the clock.
Jake on the clock.
Yes.
Thank you guys.
Would not be possible without all of you guys in here.
Paul Rable was a big, big advocate, Dave Erica, everyone green lighting it.
Very thankful.
Water Dogs.
Second game.
They're playing the defending champion with snakes 10, 15 Eastern time.
Is this a legacy game for Jake Morris?
Oh, yeah.
Some came up to me at the Islanders game and he's like, Big Cat, can I get a pick?
I was like, yeah, of course.
He's like, go dogs go.
And I was like, what?
What does he think?
I went to Georgia to Doug's coach at Georgia.
And then, and then I was like, oh, he's talking about the water dogs.
Who's going to be your partner in the booth?
His name is Ryan Naird.
Wait, what is it?
Assuming it stays in place, Ryan Boyle has been called.
Wait, wait, wait.
Who is it?
You said it twice.
I haven't heard it.
Go ahead.
I'm not going to say anything.
Ryan.
Ryan Boyle.
I'm excited to meet with him and work with him.
He's going to be great.
Where do you think he went to college?
Let's hope it's not Johns Hopkins.
Let's hope it's not MacDill.
Princeton.
Oh, it's smarter than you.
Yeah.
You'll have to concede that.
Fine with me.
Just so you know, right out of the gate, you just have to be like, listen.
I know you're smarter than me.
Also, if there's like a backdoor play, you got to like elbow and be like, that's the
old Princeton backdoor play out there.
Yeah.
Broadcasters love bringing up that shit from 1997.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
Thank you guys.
Really means a lot.
Yeah, let's make it.
Let's make it the most watched broadcast on the PLL season.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
Yeah.
The most viewed cock on the Internet.
Yeah.
Because we want Jake to keep, you know, fulfilling his dream.
We want Jake to end up one day way better than all of us.
Well, that's tough to do.
You guys really shut up.
Shut up.
You motherfucker.
Shut up, Jake.
Shut up, Jake.
Shut up, Jake.
Shut the fuck up.
I mean it.
Shut the fuck up, Jake.
Shut up.
All right, Billy.
Firefest.
Yeah.
Oh, that.
Oh, you're fine.
Oh, you're still going.
That's certainly not a Firefest.
I'm going to get you and Ryan Boyle in a big beef before your broadcast was a Firefest.
Ryan Boyle.
To your point earlier, I also got roasted for a picture, but it was because I was holding
my nose as I was jumping in and people destroyed me.
But the first few times I jump in and water shoves up my nose.
I don't want that happening.
I don't know what's so bad about that.
You've got to blow out your nose before you jump in.
So these people screw you for making fun of me.
Whoa, Jake.
They can't make fun of me.
These are our listeners.
I appreciate them.
But I got to stick up for myself.
It doesn't sound like you do appreciate them.
Oh, of course.
I appreciate that.
They're looking out for your image.
Everything I said about watching Jake on the peacock just strike that from the record.
No.
Boyle caught this game.
He just said screw you.
Can I give you a little tip?
When you jump in a pool, just go, when you land, and that's all you have to do.
Most of us learn that when we're like seven.
But the water up through our nose, it stinks.
It's not just a thing.
It's like a annoying.
Yeah, I mean, I am, but.
I love you, Jake.
Yeah.
I love you.
You look on Billy's face when he's like, I love you so much.
Billy's like, I want, there's so many things I'd like to say right now, but I know how short
my leash is.
This is just the beauty of Jake, though.
I love Jake because he's like, he's about to be announcing a real PLL game.
He's going to be going on to better, bigger and better things someday.
And he's still like, that pesky water up your nose.
It's tough.
It's the worst.
I got a prediction.
I think one day Jake will be calling a national championship NBA game.
Whoa.
That would be great.
The finals.
He said that like four times today.
He was doing that to cover up the mistakes.
That one was a joke.
That's the one.
You're talking about final four championship game or NBA finals.
That's the joke of making all games.
Both of them.
Hybrid.
Yeah.
I think that national championship plays, by the way.
State.
No, it definitely doesn't.
Nat Nat.
When you're talking about the NBA.
Yeah.
100% does it.
Get that Natty, boys.
This is now the bargaining phase of PFT screwing that up.
No, get that.
It actually is way better that way.
Get the Natty.
Yeah.
This is why we play.
I said it except where it's international championship.
Billy.
Firefest and recap.
My firefest is that when we were playing Wiffleball.
Started out.
Dinger.
First play of the game.
It was on a good, you know.
Not off me.
Not off big yet.
Then about in the second inning, there was a big fly ball.
It was in right field.
Known was there.
I was in center field.
Tracked it real nice.
Left field.
Left field.
Tracked it real nice.
Ran out there.
Positioned myself right under the ball.
But earlier in the day, we'd been playing a game involved Crisco.
There's a lot of Crisco in my hand.
Why are you serious?
And I dropped it.
But that's not the worst part.
No, it's not.
I struck you out.
No, that's not the worst part.
But I did strike you out.
No, this is a better part.
But say I struck you out.
I was pissed that I dropped it, so I was going to make up for it by throwing him out at home.
Then I picked up the whiffle ball.
And whiffle balls, pretty light.
Pretty like, you know, like not a very...
Explain whiffle ball to everyone.
Shades of Manny Ramirez in left field is pretty much what I would say.
So I try to throw it, make like, you know, like a nice dive home or whatever.
You threw it directly into the ground.
It just went directly into the ground.
It went maybe five feet in front of you.
You tried to throw it long, he threw it down.
First time fielding that day.
We didn't warm up, we didn't throw the ball before.
Anyway, it was just terrible.
Then I got struck out by Big Cat.
It was terrible because he kept painting the outside of the chair.
I thought they're all balls.
And but I didn't get that one there.
And no, then Big Cat threw one down right down the middle.
What's your fireball?
And I hit it.
And it went really far, but then fucking Dana just like batted it to himself.
And so this is just a full recap of the game.
No, it's just my my adventures.
My adventures.
But this is like the live look when Barry Bons was going for the home run record and we
saw every bat.
We just saw every Billy live look in the Billy's bats.
I'll give Billy this the throw from left field was so bad, spectacularly bad that it made
me fall down.
It was 150 miles an hour directly into the ground.
I just wanted to get in front of that.
My legs gave out watching you do that.
It was so bad anyway.
So I made a equation for the respects, the amount of respects an NBA player gets after
your tires.
Oh, wow.
So it is the the Delta change in years since retirement minus 20 times championships plus
Nike money divided by current weight times a thousand.
Okay.
And that's how many respect.
I actually think this makes sense.
Say it one more time.
Change in years since retired.
Okay.
For example, that would be like Charles Barkley when he retired.
I don't know.
The late 99.
Let's say.
Yeah.
So it's called 20.
22 years.
Yeah.
22.
Let's call it 20 years just for easy math.
20 years minus 20 is zero.
Okay.
Times championships.
Oh, that's also zero.
Plus Nike money.
Decent amount.
Probably while he's playing probably like, uh, wait, was he I don't think he was Nike.
He was, was he Rebock or Converse maybe?
No, he has a zone shoe.
He has a zone shoe.
We'll just say 40.
No, he was just, it has to be Nike money.
All right.
It has to be only Nike money.
Only Nike money because that's how Jordan fits on the, yeah, no, he was cause the sir
Charles commercial was Nike.
That was when he was, I'm not a role model divided by his current weight.
So it's like 300 and so it's probably 50, let's say 50 million divided by 50 million
divided by 330 times a thousand, 330 times a thousand.
Uh-huh.
That is what you're dividing 5, 5 million.
This is 151 million.
Why did you have to make it like high numbers?
You also mean.
No, you times the weight by a thousand and then that's what you divide the money by.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
So 330 times a thousand.
Okay.
So what was it?
50 million divided by, okay.
He gets 1500 respects.
That seems like a good amount of respects for Charles.
It's not actually, let's make it like 330 times 10,000.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, this is all great mathematicians, they don't just come up with it right away.
Then it's 150 respects.
Three point.
Okay.
Yeah.
But if you compare that to Jordan, Jordan has like a million respects more, like exponentially
more respect.
Got it.
Okay.
Okay.
Good one.
Boom.
All right.
Like the Billy formula.
Oh yeah.
And then what kind of writer do you guys think George R. Martin is?
Do you think he's like a drug guy?
No.
Because yeah.
If he's a drug guy, it's like weird, like he has a, like he licks a toad.
Like wormwood.
Yeah.
At least a drunk, drunk writer.
He drinks mead and then writes.
Yeah.
So also, do you know that Greta Griffin's last is G3 as well?
I'm fucking with you.
All right.
That's good one, Billy.
You got me.
You got me.
Also Greta's sister's name is Grit.
Yeah.
And she's Olympian.
Pretty crazy.
Also, you guys, if you guys have a fat ass.
I don't know.
If you guys are gonna.
Good, that's a test.
Yeah.
If you guys are gonna get down with Long Island, Long Island is a huge lacrosse hotbed.
Nope.
It's huge.
So I'm out.
I don't like Long Island.
Long Island is like the biggest lacrosse hotbed.
Yeah.
That's the worst way to sell it.
So yeah.
Well, those are your people.
Yeah.
Those are your people.
I like the rice teas.
You just, you're.
Out.
Denouncing Long Island.
Yeah.
I'm out.
Say no more.
For that reason, I am out.
Perfect.
Okay.
Long Island just had the greatest shark tank pitch to us of all time.
And then the last second, they just like, and check out this lacrosse.
They're like, nope.
A new frog just dropped named after Led Zeppelin.
Bonk.
Wow.
What's its name?
The Led Zeppelin rain frog.
Oh, okay.
I thought maybe it was gonna be like a Misty Mountain Hop or something like some cool.
Rain song.
A good name for like a Venus flytrap would be Robert Plant, though.
That'd be a badass name.
Okay.
69.
99.
6.
18.
I'm gonna go 12 today.
58.
312.
Oh, 66.
I thought that was 99.
Are you sure it's not?
Oh man, it looks like 69.
Yeah.
That's a first timer though.
Alright.
66.
I thought that was 99.
Nah.
Those are devil numbers.
66.
Love you guys.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.