Pardon My Take - Pro Golfer Max Homa, Masters, Big Ben, And MNF

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

We clean up MNF and Flacco's masterpiece in a losing effort against the Patriots (11:03). Big Ben has every illnes/ailment known to man kind (11:03 - 14:13). Tony LaRussa is addicted to getting DUI's and plays the old do you know who I am card (14:13 - 18:25). Hot Seat/Cool Throne included jersey roast and tits (18:25 - 33:54). Pro Golfer Max Homa joins the show to talk about prepping for the Masters this weekend, golf etiquette, how to make golf more fun, and how often is he allowed to blame his caddy (33:54 - 76:01). We finish with Guys on Chicks.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have future Masters champion, Max Homa. Awesome, awesome interview with him. He is getting ready to play in his first Masters. We talked to him about Augusta, about Golf etiquette, what it's like to be a pro. We officially have a second golfer that this podcast is rooting for in Max.

It's Brooks one, the course two. No, let's make the course three. If Brooks or Max can win, we will take that and then the course can beat everyone else. Max is officially in the circle of trust, awesome interview. We also have some rap of Monday Night Football. Big Ben has every injury in the world. Tony LaRusa, he's addicted to DUIs. A legend.

He's addicted to DUIs, hot seed, cool throne, and guys on chicks. Before we do all that part, my take is brought to you by the Cash App, not only is it the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest. Go download the Cash App right now, use code BARSTULE. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA, links directly to your bank account, super easy to use. You can buy stocks, you can send money to friends and family. You can do everything with the Cash App and it's beautiful and it sponsors us, it's our

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Go download it right now. Use code BARSTU. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, November 11th. Thank you for your service. Thank you guys. Appreciate it. Appreciate it.

It's Veterans Day. 11-11. You think I was gonna do that? 11-11. That's when they stopped World War One, right? Yeah, all quiet on the western front. That was big. I read that book.

Straight up. I read it. My fun fact about World War One is at one point on Christmas, they stopped shooting at each other and played soccer. Yeah, and exchanged loaves. I feel like the 1900 to 1940, everything was baked in loaf. Yeah. You're just like, here's a loaf.

It's a lot easier if it's a soup or if it's in a loaf. You're like, what do we have for dinner? We're having a loaf. Yeah. Of something. Do you think back in World War One, when they did that little armistice and played soccer, they were like, this isn't what was back in my day. Like back in my day, we didn't shake hands with the other team.

We didn't have a banana boat soccer game. They were flopping left and right. All right, so yeah, that was a little detour to start the show. We got a lot to get to. We have an awesome, awesome interview. Highly, highly recommend this interview. Max Homa, who's in Augusta, about to play in his first Masters, and he is now officially part of our golf crew.

We have just two guys we're rooting for. It's him and Brooks. That's it. No one else. Ricky. We like Ricky. He was on the show. But we're not rooting for him.

I'm rooting for Ricky. Okay. You're also not rooting for Brooks. I bet on Brooks this morning. He hates everybody that comes on the show. No, that's why I root for Ricky. You guys give him no love. He's making no love as a guest of the show.

Ricky had a cameo on our show four years ago, and we like Ricky, but he appeared for maybe five minutes in part of my take, and you're rooting for him over the guy we just interviewed and our good friend Brooks. I said today. Max Brooks, Ricky. But Ricky's in the conversation. Oh, Max? The head of Brooks.

Yeah. Well, I said today, I said today, Brooks will call in with his green jacket on on Sunday night and Hank, his eyes almost fell out of his head. That's how hard he rolled his eyes. They're like, I had to go pick, scoop up his eyeballs and put them back in his skull. You stopped the count. That's fine. He's injured.

He's injured. Stop the count. All right. Let's clean up some football. Hank, the Patriots. Playoff bound. Playoff bound. They expand the playoffs.

Yeah. So it's what? 16 teams. Yep. The Bears are back. So Bears are back. They're not going to reseed, which I was kind of hoping that they would. Yeah.

But they decided not to. I imagine that the four owners of NFC East teams were like, no, let's, we'll expand, but we got to keep that home game. Wait, does that mean there would be no buy? Interesting. You'd have to assume there wouldn't be because there's an even number of teams now. Or two buys. Or two buys.

Two buys. Two buys. I think it'd probably be two buys. Okay. So one buy with seven teams is like, that's everything. Like I think the Chiefs are way better than the Steelers. The Chiefs now at this point, looking through, like I was trying to, after like a week of football and a Sunday of football, usually on Monday, I kind of try to like do an assessment.

You know, tell the truth Monday. And I've come to the conclusion that it's the Chiefs and everyone else. Like every other team, and unfortunately I love the Steelers, but every other team has at least one flaw where you're like, I don't know, I don't really trust this. And then the Chiefs don't. So I, yeah, the Chiefs and everyone else, but Hank, back to your Patriots. Won the game. Joe Flacco ripped that ass apart.

He was elite last night. Joe Flacco Frank Gore were just including his, including his interception, which was also very Joe Flacco ask perfect spiral, just too deep. Like almost throwing it to the defender. I actually think that Joe Flacco played so well on a national time slot that he might get, he's going to get a contract from somewhere. But John Elway might just black out and forget that he already brought him in a year ago and bring him back in for 30 million.

I did make that joke. Like in the first quarter, I was like, Joe Flacco, if he throws one more touchdown, Ryan Pace will absolutely sign him. Yeah. So I mean, if I were to just handicap, but I'd say the Bears would probably be like a top three team that would go for Joe Flacco right now. So Hank, your Patriots, are they bad or are they good? Tough question.

They're good. Patriots are good. They should have beat the Bills. They should have beat the Seahawks. They could have beat the Chiefs. Cam Newton was out with Corona and they still almost won that game kind of. I think they're going to go on a run. You think they should beat the Bills?

Yeah. They have a tough schedule. I think they're going to beat the Ravens. I think they're going to beat the Ravens. And then everyone's going to flip. You guys are going to be on the show. Well, well, you know, they show they have a good defense, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just going to be sitting here like I said this the whole time.

When you say things like they're going to beat the Ravens, do you just say that because it gives you that hit of dopamine right afterwards where you're like, yeah, man, that's going to feel good if that happens. Or do you say that because you actually believe it? I actually believe it. If Stefan Gilmore comes back, I mean, that defense looked bad last night. Joe Flacco did have his way. Also Cam Newton is in the spot where it's either a completion or he gets weird.

He does weird. And he also we've joked about Carson Wentz like sticking in the pocket until he's basically being sacked. Cam Newton, he can he'll have like there's no blind side. Everything's a blind side for him. He had that one time where a guy came right in his face and he just no pocket presence whatsoever. But he did make enough plays and you have Brandon Whedon as a kicker who Nick Folk looks exactly

like Brandon Whedon and the Patriots. That would have been embarrassing to lose the Jets. I look the rest of the year like Belichick will always get that respect where you're like, yeah, maybe they could do it. Yeah. Maybe they could put a put a run together. And then my brain started going right into the, you know, the galaxy brain memes. I was like, big brain flackers so good that the Jets are going to win tonight.

Then it was like slightly bigger brain shooting the lasers out. Flackers going to lose but look really good so the Jets can get Trevor Lawrence. And then the galaxy brain was Belichick is going to beat the Jets and humiliate them at the last second so that Trevor Lawrence is more likely to turn down being drafted by the Jets. And that's how they're going to keep them out of the division. There's a lot of that going on last night. Like Field Gates tweeted out a Photoshop of Trevor Lawrence in a Jacksonville Jaguars

Jersey, which I like to imagine Field like sitting at home on his computer making his own Photoshop during the game and then firing it off like. And just crushed. I absolutely nailed this. I did have the thought when the Patriots were down like 10 in the fourth quarter, maybe it was the fourth quarter, if they had lost that game and the Jets had to win and then you get to week 17, let's throw, let's say the Jaguars get a win or two more. So it came down to it in week 17.

The loser of that game gets Trevor Lawrence. Would it work that Bill Belichick being the greatest coach of all time means he can also be the greatest tanker of all time in a game? Like would he be able to outcoach himself to the point of losing no matter what? Well there were a couple of very stupid thoughts you have when you watch an O and 18 play a two and five team football. I think just using Adam Gates is pure brain. That is the ultimate tank.

I don't think you can even out-tank him if you're trying to out-tank him. No, but see I think Belichick could. No, because Gates will do something like put 12 guys on the field by accident. Yeah, but then we would look back and they would do like NFL films on Belichick's week 17 game against the Jets and how he, how he, how he, you know how he, like the big Belichick thing is he always takes away your best option, which is easier said than done. He like was able to unleash their best option and Gore ran for 300 yards. Just like the reverse Mo Lewis, when Mo Lewis knocked Drew Bledsoe out, right?

And then they lucked into Tom Brady. This could be the start of another entire series of championship DVDs. So a decent game, it was exciting, you know, doesn't really have big time ramifications other than the Jets continue to lose. I do think the Jets are in a weird spot now where they put together a couple games, even the first half against the Chiefs and then the Bills game where they only lost by eight. The Jets don't feel like an O and 16 team. No, they're going to win a game.

They feel like you can tell when you see an O and 16 team and you're like, there's just no chance. The Jets feel just a little bit, literally one game better than O and 16. The Jets very much could have won that game. There were a couple passes like Flacco hit Perriman and Stride on one. Like he, they, they look good enough to be a competitive team. They looked like, I don't know, four and 12 team last night, which is, they looked like last night, if they played the way that they played on Monday night, every, every other

game this season, they would go four and 12. Now they only have what six games left, seven games left. Seven, they're O and nine. O and nine. Seven games left. So they're going to, they're going to win. They're going to win. Well everything's tough when you're O and nine.

One game. They're going to win a game. Bold prediction. One first rounds week 16. That could easily be a win. Yeah. Chargers this week. Chargers have been.

They, oh, the Chargers. Yeah. It is weird looking at the schedule and having to read. You're losing to the Jets would be the ultimate. That's like the feather in the cap of Chargers heart breaking losses. Yeah. It's weird looking at a NFL schedule now and having to retrain your brain that the dolphins aren't bad.

Yeah. You see it and you're like, oh, that's a win. You're like, wait, no, it's not anymore. The dolphins are actually good. All right. Other NFL news. Big Ben has, he doesn't have the cocoa. He has every injury in the world.

So we had, we've had a, a quite the big Ben week. His walking boot came back out on Sunday and then he had in rap or tweeted yesterday, Ben Rothesburg sustained injuries to both knees on Sunday. But after tests today, there is cautious optimism that it'll be healthy enough to play versus the Bengals. Well, both knees got trapped. His feet not being stuck in the turf saved him from major injury. I, I don't know how he tweeted this with a straight face because it's, it's, he's almost

telling on himself, like he's not hurt, not saying that he's hurt. Both knees and like, like we broke down the film on, on Sunday night show. Like it was his right knee that got hurt. And then he started grabbing his left knee. And then Big Ben probably went back, watched that play over. I like to imagine that if Big Ben ever takes a hard hit, when he's doing film study, he just watches those on replay and then he convinces himself like, yeah, he does like a doctor, a pro football doc on himself.

Right. And he's like, yeah, you see how my, my right knee got caught under there. That might be a strained MCL, my left leg. That's, that's a PCL. I'm pretty sure. So I'm going to get a precautionary MRI just to be safe. And he is, Big Ben event essentially now is like an elementary school kid who just wants to go home for the day because so he's got two knees and then he was put in the, the,

the COVID protocol and everyone was like, uh-oh, Big Ben's got the cocoa. Well, no, we got a clarification. Adam Schaffer tweeted, to be clear, Steelers QB, Ben Rothsberger has tested negative and was placed in the reserve COVID list for close contacts per source. So Ben, he really is just throwing as many things at the wall to, to be like the Ben warrior thing. Oh yeah. He's like, Oh, I put me in the protocol.

My knees hurt. My ass hurts. My head hurts. He's a hypochondria. I want to go home. Is that what it is? Let me go home. Yeah.

Yeah. He's, he's web QB. He just spends all his time like looking up for the symptoms online. He put himself on the COVID list because he probably watched the news and saw the infection rate. He's like, wow, I better be safe. Yes. Wait, I live in the United States and this is our infection rate.

I better go on the list. Yeah. So it's been a hilarious, I mean, he's going to play. He'll probably play well because that's Ben. He also had a great quote after the game. I can't believe we didn't talk about this, but he said the Cowboys might be America's team, but the Steelers are the world's team. Nice.

Because he saw the terrible towels in the fan. What about the galaxy? He's a globalist. Ben is a globalist for universal healthcare probably. Galaxy team? A galaxy team? Notre Dame. That's universe.

Universe? Galaxy Raiders, Black Hole. Yankees. The Black Hole at the center of the galaxy. Yeah, that's it. All right. And then the last thing we had before we got to Hot Seat Cool Throne is Tony LaRusse is addicted to driving drunk.

He's addicted to it. He's addicted to driving drunk. So let's not make fun of him. No, we won't make fun of him, but he drove drunk, White Sox are getting dragged right now, which they should because Jerry Reinser is a fucking idiot. And so they hired him, I think as a special assistant back in February, a day after he got his second DUI and the hiring itself has been chastised, then this came out. I'm just, I'm not going to take any like, uh, shot and Freud at this, but I will just

state that I remember when White Sox fans made fun of Joe Madden for being quirky and having like a petting zoo at Wrigley and your manager is addicted to DUI's. But was he was he drunk when he signed the contract? I don't know. I mean, because if you stay hired in the day after, no, probably, unless he was, unless he signed it behind the wheel of a car, yeah, because that's a good point. That's the only time he drinks. Yeah.

If he, if he like did an electronic signature on it, then that might be an issue. So it's a second DUI. And then the first one, by the way, remember, he fell asleep at a stoplight and the cops had to wake him up. So that's safe. He wasn't driving. He was, he was parked well in touch. Okay.

The old Jim Urse, but the quote of him to the police officer was very funny. He said, I had one glass of wine while at dinner with my friends. And then he asked the police officer, do you see my ring? And the police officer asked Larusa what he's talking about. He said, I'm a Hall of Famer baseball person. I'm legit. I'm a Hall of Famer brother. You're trying to embarrass me.

You're trying to embarrass me with that DUI thing. I'm a Hall of Famer baseball person. How could you possibly make me drink that wine and put me behind this steering wheel? Wait, I can't drive drunk. I'm a baseball manager. Yeah. I'm a Hall of Famer brother. That's one of the job qualifications to be a manager of a baseball team is to have at

least one DUI under your belt. And he's got two. He had the first one was in Jupiter, Florida. This one was in Scottsdale, Arizona. I feel like that's where nine between those two cities that makes up 95% of drunk driving in America. He's, uh, yeah. I mean, I don't know what the White Sox do.

Like I said, they were already getting kind of roasted for this hire to begin with. And then this comes out that they knew about this just incompetence, which I don't know. Maybe White Sox, maybe you can get Jerry, Jerry Reinser to sell the bulls and the White Sox combined. Can you get a DUI? All the MLB, you know, owners to push them out. Is it possible to get a DUI on the golf cart that you're driving out to the pitchers mound? I mean, Tony LaRouche will try.

Yeah. He's a, he's addicted to them. It's crazy. They should have been crazy, man. It's such a bad thing to do. Such a horrible thing. And he's addicted to it. The seventh inning stretch should be, you know how in Atlanta they have the freeze that

you have to race around the outfield? They should have like the freeze. And then Tony LaRouche and a golf cart driving along the warning track and see who can beat each other. You got to chug the beer first. Oh, he's drunk. Yeah. Chug and then drive.

It's a very intoxicated Tony LaRouche. God damn. Maybe he didn't have pink eye that one time. Maybe he was just hammered. Yeah. I mean, he's got, he's got the, uh, the look of a guy. He just has a DUI look now. He's a DUI guy.

Yeah. I mean, it's, it's part of his like, I think that's probably like the, his hobbies are baseball and DUIs. That's pretty much it at this point. Uh, all right. Let's, should we do hot seat, cool throne, hot seat, cool throne, uh, before we do that black, black ops, cold war is back. Call of duty, black ops, cold war.

Uh, what is this out? Is this out now? This weekend? Hell yes. The iconic black ops series is back for an all new next generation experience with call of duty, black ops, cold war, the direct sequel to the original, uh, and fan favorite call of duty black ops. Nothing is ever as it seems in a gripping single player story campaign where players

will come face to face with historical figures and hard truths as they battle around the globe through iconic locales like East Berlin from Vietnam, Turkey, Soviet era, Moscow, and more. I am so excited for this game. On the campaign, black ops, cold war delivers the next generation of multiplayer combat all new zombies experience in addition to sharing content with the free to play free for everyone blockbuster battle royale experience call of duty war zone develop for the next generation console.

So if you have the new ones, you're good to go call of duty, black ops, cold war will be available on playstation five, playstation four, Xbox X, Xbox s, Xbox one and PC on battle.net starting November 13th. Get excited. Black ops, cold war. All right. Hank. Hot seat.

Cool. My hot seat. I have a few. Uh, the first one is the 76ers. They released the ugliest, uh, probably the worst Jersey reveal of all time in the NBA yesterday. They like had new city, city themed jerseys that are just disgusting. They got roasted all over the place.

Yeah. So they're on the hot seat. I saw all the magic ones like they have like oranges, orange. Yeah. But they're going to do orange pinstripes and like homage to their old pinstripes, which I think is dumb. I don't, I don't mind the Philadelphia uniform. That's not bad.

Well, it's got houses on it. That says anything you need to know, go fuck just because they don't have pinstripes on it. No, no surprise that Hank is cargo panting himself over the, the jerseys that have no good stripes. No, PFT. These are, these are objectively ugly uniforms. They're, they're like, what is, what are the houses on them?

Their houses, their row houses. That's Philly, baby. I understand that, but that's a terrible looking uniform. It's gross. It could be worse. Um, I don't know. Maybe not. I think they made it as bad as possible.

My other hot seat, although I have a feeling this is what they wanted, but Esquire UK put up a tweet today. It was like a trending topic and I think it was sponsored because that's the only reason it would have been up there. But it said, what to watch while you wait for piggy blinders season six. So it was like, oh shit, piggy blinders season six coming out lit. Then I clicked it and it said the hit series won't be back on screens until 2022. I saw that.

I had the exact same reaction. That's insane. Fuck them. And there's only like six episodes every time. That's like when they announced Notre Dame, Georgia in 2032. Right. I know I'm not going to be alive then. Right.

No one is. That's so long. Like what to watch while you wait for, you have to watch like a million shows. Yeah, right. What to watch while you wait for it. 5,000 hours of television. You know what they, they should just rerecord the first several seasons of peaky blinders just with American actors or overdubbed them.

We'd like just have Morgan Freeman do every voice so I can understand what they're saying. Yeah, it should be what to watch for. Actually, Jake, do this math for us and tweet this out tomorrow. What to watch for before peaky blinders in 2022. How many times could you watch peaky blinders all the seasons if you watch two a night till 2022? It probably like, yeah, right, right.

Just keep watching it. Peaky. Focus on, and then my cool throne is internet bullying. So the AP top 25 came out called basketball. Yes. Houston fans were so mad that they didn't get put in the top 25 that they bullied John Feinstein into giving up his vote in the college troops. AP top 25.

Well, I love it. They stopped his voting. I love it. He said this has got to be, this is going to be a nightmare for someone like Jake Marsh. Congratulations, Houston fans. You were the last straw while I 100% believe the AP should be published. Each voted about every week.

I've decided after voting for 23 years, I no longer need the kind of abuse directed at me over at basketball. I understand you aren't by any stretch. The first group of fans that behave like this, you just pushed me over the edge. I'm betting most of these, most of those who tweeted at me have never read much or any of my work. And that's fine. I said, we don't want to or need to deal with any of this at this point in my

life. We all know the polls are fake anyways, but Jake, would you, do you want to just say, well, I will say this guy is a broadcaster for UMBC basketball. So, Oh, no hard feelings. Vermont's rival. Oh, wait. Okay. UMBC, you said they're a Vermont's rival.

One of them. I would say they're probably UVA's rival, right? True. For that one game. What, um, can we get you to get that vote? Is there a spot over? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's get it.

Would you, would you accept it? Would you let it be an honor? We will heckle the shit out of it. There will be a lot of abuse. Like we'll be so, you think John Feinstein got something bad? We will fuck you up. What's your top 10 right now? I got to do research.

Do it. No, I just go for Mont. Oh, my God, unbiased. My ass. Exactly. Tune in. Uh, Jake's, Jake actually is hosting a college basketball podcast. Benchmark still Benchmark.

So that's not, yes. There we go. That would, it would have been nice for you to, to promote it. Hank, it would have been nice for you to promote. Hey, Jake's. Tune in. I'd, yeah, I retweeted it. Oh, nice.

Fairness. Thank you. The passive promotion. I like it. Is that a thing? I liked your tweet. Yeah. I had another one, but no, no, no, no, please.

Well, you kind of talked about earlier with the, uh, the call duty, but they're, I don't know why, but all like PlayStation and Xbox release new consoles in the same day and there's like 10 new consoles. Consoles are in the cool. I liked that. PS5, Xbox S, console war. Mike Welker, our T-shirt guy called me and he was like, what's the difference between Xbox X and Xbox Xbox X?

I was like, I have one as a B in it. Right. I don't, I don't know. I'm, should I get one? Do I need to get one? I can't get one. You have a PC. Does it have a PC?

Yeah. PC does. It has a ZXT PC. I love it. Best of events. All right. PFT, what's yours? Uh, my hot seat is going to be Jesus because John Rom hit a shot that walked on

water at Augusta during his practice round today. He skipped it three times, bounced up onto the green, rolled into the hole. That's like the first, I know that there have been a couple of guys that have done that at Augusta over the last 20 years, but this was cooler. This was a better shot than VJ Singh. It just looked awesome. I think things is pretty cool. I think Roms hit the water more times than VJ Singhs did, but it just looks impossible.

How is that possible? I found myself asking that very question. I'm staying woke on it. I think that the masters needs, uh, some more buzz around it because it's not being held at the traditional time. It's being held in November. The Azaleas aren't in bloom. So I think that maybe there might be some monkey business afoot here.

Somebody who's better at the internet than me. Look at the, look at the footage and tell me if you think that it's doctored at all. I'm watching VJ Singhs right now. VJ Singh actually hit the water more. It's just that we didn't have a better angle. Okay. It was an incredible shot.

I think they do this every year, right? Do they do, they try to skip it across. So, but it was, it was fucking cool. It reminded me of the old Powerade commercials. Yes. When they would do, which were fake, but we thought we were real for a while. Michael Vic might have thrown that ball out of the stadium. Yeah.

LeBron, like, yeah. Was that real? I think it was. I think LeBron was. Yeah. Really? Yeah. My other hot seat is tits.

Tits are on the hot seat. Um, the bird, the bird tits are going extinct because larvae are hatching before the tits eggs hatch. And so then the, the newborn tits don't have enough worms to eat. So they're going extinct. Fear not. It's the bird tits. Um, but I feel like we, we get stories like this three times a year of like a new

cute species that's going extinct. Yes. Bees were, were dying. Now every cute little bird is dying. Billy's very concerned. The great tit, the great tits, the great tits drink too many IPAs. Mm hmm. Um, my cool throne is Derek Carr because he's in the MVP race.

Yeah. Because his brother, David Carr is voting for him for MVP. There we go. He's the one person that gave Derek Carr a vote. So Russell Wilson doesn't get a vote. Russell Wilson has every other vote, I think, except for his brother. That's so fucked up. Um, all right.

My hot seat is Carson Wentz because we're still litigating this. Carson Wentz. Nick Fools, Brett Favre has weighed in and officially said that the eagle should have kept Nick Fools. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Brett Favre.

Brett Favre. Did they put, did they pull him out of a rock? Like, where did they, how do you get a, how do you have this conversation now? Because Brett is down in Mississippi. And so he had to like mail a letter in. Unbelievable. Uh, but yeah, it's fun. You know how we talked about Josh Allen and, um, and Russell Wilson being the

two biggest height differentials, Brett Favre and Nick Fools, probably biggest dick differential of all time in the NFL. Very true. Very true. And then my cool drone was going to be the bears because, uh, they're just going to keep letting everyone into the playoffs. I actually think they might just do that. Just have everyone make the playoffs.

That would be fun. Right. If we just had a 32 team, you're the good luck Chuck. Yeah. Let's just do it. Let's start the playoffs in the middle of December. Every team makes it. You wouldn't want to see the, uh, Jets play the chiefs.

Yeah. Right. It was fucking do it. Have everyone make it. And then we'll go from there. You are going to make the playoffs though. Probably not that eight spot. The Vikings are favorite.

Cal Slaughter. Yeah. Cal Slaughter who, yeah. I mean, sure. Best preseason quarterback of all time. Yes. Preseason, preseason, preseason, Billy. My hot seat is McDonald's.

They're releasing a McPlant and everyone's kind of mad that they, their newest product is a vegetarian alternative. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Like what the fuck? What the fuck? A Mick.

What the fuck? Anyway, nice vegetarian. Uh, never trust a man made a plant proteins. Said that once. That's pretty good. And Mike Cool Throne is the whizinator. Mike Tyson is on record saying that he used his baby's piss in a fake dick. Uh, and was talking about the whizinator, which, uh, to pass drug tests.

That's next level using your baby's piss. Mm hmm. Is there something that shows up in a screening that's like, Hey, this piss belongs to like a nine year old. Like, Hey, Mike, it looks like you can use a little bit more milk. Test positive for formula. Uh huh. Hey, be, Hey, Mike.

Are you teething right now? What's going on here? You got, oh, it turns out you have colic. Yeah. Mike Ontario Smith made the whizinator famous. Yeah. The whizinator. Day.

Uh, all right. Let's get to our interview. We got a great, great interview coming up with Max home over. Have you ever had a friend real quick? Have you ever had a friend who is like taking drug tests and he's going around asking everybody for clean piss? No, it's a very interesting situation to be in. Yeah.

Hank has definitely then. Nobody wants to ask you specifically for, well, my piss, I don't think my, my piss has been hot for 20 years now. I had a friend who passed that he was like, you know, he smoked all the time and he failed the drug test one day chugged. He just chugged like two gallons of water and passed it the next day. I had a friend named butt that used to ask everybody for their piss. Like casually, they're just like random acquaintances that you'd bring over to

his house. He was like very forward. He would actually get someone's piss and then store it himself and then microwave it before he was about to get piss tested. He had a whole operation going. He's in jail. I have a funny story. So everyone's a piss jug guy in college because of dorms and what not,

walking to the bathroom. And basically there was a clean piss guy who always had jugs of piss. So people would just, you know, go to his dorm and just take some from his jug, clean, piss guy. No, he just had a bunch of piss jugs around because, you know, everyone just pisses in jugs in college. Right. You know that people were taking his piss or were people just like someone

asked him once, like, can I have piss? And, uh, he was like, yeah, I got like a ton of my room. Like, why don't we clean up my piss jugs? One week old, two week old. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of guys like that. Yeah. Maybe that's, we need to start doing that.

Jake. Yeah. Piss jugs are a thing. Jake would be our piss guy. Jake's piss, well, I piss a lot because I drink so much water. Right. Like a lot. And small bladder.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at you. I'm seeing dollar signs right now in terms of like the hot piss in this room. I'd say most of us have hot piss, but you might be the one who gives us your piss. If you need me to piss, I'll piss. All right.

Would you do us a piss dog right now? How's pisses? Are you allowed to say piss? I know you can't piss on radio. You can't. No, no, you can't say it on radio. You can't say bodily functions like that, Jake. You have to say urinate.

Will you be swearing on your new podcast? Absolutely not. Damn. But you should say that PISS is me on download. You'll say all this way. Oh, old marketing trick. Yeah. Like when you tell everyone that you're going to get a cat and everyone's like,

cool. If you have 200,000 contest entries on Thursday, big cat vs. Frank the Tank, I'll get a cat. You know, it'd be great. Jake, if you get enough subscribers, like week one, you should be like, I'll read the George Carlin seven words you can't say on television. Verbatim. Yes.

And you're just quoting. I can't. No. Oh, Billy, do PISS dogs right now. Show them. Do it. Do it. PISS dogs.

Do it, Billy. Oh, wow. Good job, Billy. I, Billy, three years ago would have done that. No question. I just got somewhere to go after this. Oh, really? Got a date?

No, I got to go pick up my grandma's cat. Are you going to ever get the title? I don't want to hear the words of this word. No, I just, I'm that poor cat. The cat sitting. Oh, by the way, I was trying to interview Billy. I started on the broadcast yesterday and he told me to call him back later on Sunday because his chickens were

on the loose. Yeah, I mean, I just snipped. I just collected all the animals. I just kind of hoarding. Yeah, I would probably help Grandma's Kiwi Herman's big adventure when he rescues the animal store when it was on fire. Do you guys see it?

Yes, yes. That's my picture. Billy, I forgot to snip their wings. Billy, I'm curious, what is your plan of action going to be for bringing your grandma's cat around all your chickens? And dog. I, I, I know this. And one of the barn kittens, if people remember, right?

So it would, it's going to kill the chicken. It knows everybody. Oh, it knows everyone? Yeah. Is it Carol Baskin or? It is actually Carol Baskin. That's the name of the cat? Yeah.

When I rescued the barn kittens, I named them after Tiger Kane. Oh, so you know, oh, okay. These are the kittens that you tried to get the, what was the disease you tried to get? Toxoplasmosis. Yeah. Okay. Got it.

So it's the kind of homecoming. Yeah, we should do, I'm coming home video for them. Uh, all right, before we get to Max, uh, PFT, I saw you wearing a nice shirt yesterday. What was that? Did you really see me wearing a nice shirt? You're wearing it right now underneath your sweater. I'm wearing an amazing shirt right now.

It's, uh, it's from Roback or good friends at Roback. This is actually the Azaleas polo that they're selling right now. They've got Azaleas quarter zips. I love Roback stuff. Uh, they're always the highest quality. They're cool. They make wearing polo shirts cool. It's really the only college shirt that I'm wearing.

If I'm wearing college shirt, it is absolutely from Roback and the guys over at Roback have been sending us their performance polos, their quarter zip pullovers and their hats for a while. We're in love with their stuff at PMT. We're elite athletes. We demand, we demand high performance apparel and Roback delivers exactly that you're going to see us rock in a quarter zip or a hat with their dog logo and you just kind of give them that subtle nod because you know,

they get it. It's like a Jeep wave when I see somebody else rocking a Roback. And when it comes to gear, Roback's Q zip pullovers are soft and they're as comfortable as they get. No one does Q zips like Roback, just top quality. Sometimes we rock their quarter zips. Commander, they're so soft. You don't need an undershirt.

I'm actually going raw dog on this, uh, polo right now. Don't need anything underneath. They're so soft. And with the weather getting cooler and the Q zip season and full swing, I would definitely check them out. They just dropped a bunch of new ones. Their performance polos are also next level. The collars are structured.

They last after a lot of washes. Look at this collar, big cat. Look how perfectly folded this collar is. That's what you get when you get a Roback collar on one of their performance polos. We love them. I've had a couple of people reach out to me, ask me what the promo code is because they're taking advantage of 20% off.

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Go to R H O B A C K. Dot com in a promo code take, get 20% off all their polos, quarter zips and performance tease when you use that promo code take. And now max homo. Okay. We now welcome on very special guest. It is max homo. He is a professional golfer.

He's playing in the masters, his first masters. Correct. Your first masters this weekend, uh, we're gonna do a little master's preview. Also talk to him about golf etiquette. He is, you probably follow him on Twitter because he's one of the funniest golfers on Twitter. Uh, it's a pretty low bar. It is a low bar.

So max, thank you for joining us. Let's start with masters. Um, have you been like awestruck yet? Are you give us the vibe of you rolling up? Uh, what, what the hell do they call that drive? Magnolia Lane. Hmm. Was it, was it everything that you thought it would be?

Yeah, we're not huge golf guys. Was it everything you thought it'd be and more? Uh, yeah. Um, you know, I hate, I try not to be the corny cliche golfer, but it is, uh, the drive is kind of nuts. You hear about this place, uh, since you're a kid and, uh, you turn off a very, uh, normal road into like the most special golf place there is. And, uh, it kind of shocks you.

Um, definitely, uh, definitely what I expected. If not more, uh, it's just, uh, it's just kind of shocking. Honestly. Yeah. Is, is this your first time actually playing at Augusta? I know it's your first masters, but have you played around there before? No, I was supposed to go the day it closed because of COVID. So that was cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I just remember the last time we were in Georgia, I think it was when we were going to like Bruce Aryan's house. Yeah. We're driving through his neighborhood and just every golf course that's in that area or general vicinity in Georgia, kind of like has a master's type Augusta feel to it, like the color of the grass, all that's

herberry. Yeah. The herberry. Yeah. The azaleas, all that stuff. Have you, uh, have you played a lot of golf in like rural Georgia before? Do you know what the general feel of the landscape? I, yeah, general feel.

Yeah. I've actually played Augusta country club, which is a nice, but it is, uh, the whole Augusta national thing. I guess the word national makes it, uh, like a hundred times more important. Yeah. Uh, and Augusta country club backs up to Augusta national and you can kind of see it if you, uh, climb a fence, which, um, I guess I kind of did. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that, but I kind of climbed the fence so I

could see it. And, uh, it was raining where we were at Augusta country club and it was brown and muddy, like it should have been. And I looked over at Augusta national and it's like as green as you've ever seen grass and I felt like there might be an actual like bubble dome over the golf course, which they might be able to do. Honestly. Uh, so yeah, I'm, I'm a little familiar with the, uh, with the

Erbery, with the foliage, but it's still a little more, uh, a little more special in here. That's an actual grass is always greener situation. You don't get that much literally Augusta is definitely, I mean, it's a bucket list for me. I, everyone that I've, who I've ever talked to has been there says that it far exceeds it's, it's rated very, very high, the highest. And it still exceeds that.

So, uh, it seems like it's just a magical place. Are you, you obviously want to make the cut because you want to make the cut your competitor, but is there a part of you that's like, I want to make the cut cause I want to play four rounds here. Oh, a hundred percent. You just want to, uh, I don't know, you know, I don't know if you get like it, how to get, or I don't know if I'll be invited back, like just for fun. So you just want to be out here as long as you can.

It's kind of sad. Uh, I've played a lot of golf courses. Uh, you want to look at it. Obviously I want to win and that, that's the goal, but a small party. You just want to just keep being allowed to drive up Magnolia Lane. You know, it's like a very odd feeling. Most golf courses I could call later and be like, Hey, you might, if I come back out, uh, and I'll lie about my name and then they'll let me in.

And at that point, they're not going to kick me out. So it's like here, I think they'll figure it out. So you just want to get to play four days. Just so you could say you played Augusta for a whole week. Can you, can you win? Like, is that a, is that a mean question? Can you win? Can you win this?

That's a, that's a great question. Uh, yes, it would be, uh, answer one, um, yeah, yes. Like literally, and like technically I think I can, um, but yeah, I mean, that's the goal, uh, I'd love to, uh, somebody told me today that a rookie hasn't won, uh, or a first timer hasn't won since 1979. So that was a nice spark of confidence, uh, from whoever asked that question. Uh, but yeah, I mean, I think I can, I'm playing well, uh, this week. So yeah, I guess, you know, you never know.

Yeah. Your things have happened. I like that. I'm going to say, and if, if you don't make the cut, heaven forbid, we are rooting for you to make the cut, obviously, are you going to be allowed to watch the final two rounds like as a spectator? That's a question. Uh, I kind of thought of today and I just thought if you asked that question, you

might be like the weakest human ever. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, I hope not to have to ask that question, but I'm optimistic. Okay. What's the food like there? We've always heard about like, you know, the, the dinner beforehand, the champion's dinner, but like, what's the general food situation?

Are they still making pimento cheeses for you guys or what? Yeah. And they're free. Um, they're just like sitting on this wall in the locker room. There's just like dozens of them and I'm sure there's hundreds more behind it. I had a hamburger today. It's pretty much like the most plain, normal looking hamburger and it was phenomenal. Uh, I feel like, I feel like it probably isn't as amazing as I think it is, but

you're there and all these people and like these white coats are giving it to you. And you just feel like it's like high, high class. I feel like you're at like a roost Chris or something just balling out. So I feel like it might kind of add to the taste. What's, uh, what's the locker room like in you? It could be masters or just on the tour. Like what, uh, are you friends with different guys on tour? I'm always curious.

Like, do you, do guys hang out together? Do they, do they chit chat? Do they have a good time or is it just fierce competitor? Like no talking to anyone else. I'm here to step on everyone's throat. Uh, I think it's a lot like, you know, like an NBA locker room, just a lot of horsing around, uh, no, I'm just playing. It's, uh, it's definitely not like, it's not like the locker room.

You know, when people say like, there's locker room talk, I don't think golf's quite as cool as that. Uh, there's not like a lot of, a lot going on. Um, some people are more talkative. Uh, you know, I've walked by Tiger Woods, Tiger, I guess you can call him by. Oh yeah. We didn't know who you were talking about things. I know you guys are golf guys, but I wanted to, but yeah, you like walk by him

and some days he'll say hi and some days he's like locked in. So you got guys like that, uh, your boy Blake, uh, he's usually pretty, you know, focused and locked in. And sometimes, you know, here I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the locker room. I don't know what to do. I don't know if there's a hat policy. Um, so I like, if I see a buddy of mine, I'll like nod and see if they'll be the

first one to talk because I'm kind of scared to do anything wrong. Uh, but in general, it's, um, I pretty much just go in the locker room to get my shoes and then to put them on and then to leave. So, uh, I don't, I don't spend too much time in there. Uh, I try and get back out where I feel comfortable with a golf club and I am. And how did they decide who's sitting next to who at which locker? Like, is there an area where it's, you know, like Tiger, Phil, you know, people have won before that sort of thing.

Or is it just like everyone here? There's an entirely other locker room for past champions. I actually accidentally pulled into the champion's parking lot and, uh, that was, uh, that was a mistake. That was my very first encounter with anybody here and, uh, they very quickly sniffed out that I have not won here before, uh, which was impressive. I know I look like I've won here before, but I hadn't. And, um, yeah.

So in the locker room, we don't even have the past champions. You feel like you're kind of, you feel like you're just like annexed to literally like the office annex, you feel like you're kind of in like that other room. It's still sick, but you're definitely not amongst, you know, Tiger and, and, uh, Phil Mickelson. Um, so my locker, I'm assuming is just next to whoever comes the closest to Homa in the alphabet. Yeah.

Um, so the big storyline for this masters, uh, and we'll ask you directly, is Bryson going to break the course? It feels like it, man. I mean, uh, we've been hearing about it. I'd never been here before, obviously. And then I got here and you start, start looking around it and seeing what Bryson's going to do, where he's going to hit it. And, um, I heard, you know, the stats of a yesterday are crazy.

He's just, uh, he's a tank man. Like he just hits it forever. He's fat. You can say it. He's fat. I mean, he's, he's got a couple of extra C's in the thick. Yeah. No doubt.

Uh, but yeah, it's, uh, I'm actually kind of intrigued to watch it. Cause if any place you go to, if you break this golf course, like, I think they might break you like they might, you might go to that little, you know, a little jail cell here and they might torture you or some waterboard yourself. Yes. And they, and they, and they fit. They obviously have, have extended the golf course through the years. So I think like if Bryson does break it, they'll just change everything to

make it harder. I'm, uh, we're not Bryson fans. Uh, I'm rooting for the course against Bryson as bright. We're, we're Brooks Kepke fans through and through. We're, we're going to, we're going to throw you into, uh, the fan group. So we'll root for you as well. Thank you. Um, so this is kind of a dumb question, but like how hard is

golf? It's a great question. Um, it's super hard. Really though, like really? Um, yeah. Like, yeah, I think it is pretty hard. All right. Um, I was going to say it doesn't seem that hard if you just had more time.

I saw you guys play. It looked pretty hard. Uh, the video hangs at me. Yeah. Yeah. So can you rank our, so you, so you, you are, you do a hilarious thing on Twitter where you rate, uh, everyone. So golf is so funny that, and this happens in every sport where, uh, fans

just sit on their couch and they're like, Oh, I've done that. You know, like I played JV. I know what to do. Like I play golf every other weekend. I could do that. And then you just rip people apart and show them how stupid they are for thinking that I know golf is hard, but how were our, how did our swings look? We, we had Hank show you the video of us playing with Tony Sheffler or any of

us, if we put a little more effort into it, pro material. Um, you hit it really straight in the video I saw. Hell yes. Yeah, I did. I wrote, I wrote, I wrote stuff down for notes just so I didn't forget about it. Big cat. I wrote yours in like NFL combine type notes. Cause I wanted, you know, that's your language.

Right. Yep. But I said, you look surprisingly good in shorts, which I felt like that's kind of a big win. Yup. Um, yeah, but shorts on the golf course though. Isn't that a big no-no? Well, jeez, you were in jeans.

You were wearing jeans. Hank, just give it a second. I gotta get yours cause if I'm ranking them, yours was, yours was third. Oh wow. That's devastating because Hank thought for sure you were going to say he literally pointed to himself when I asked for, all right, so keep going. Sorry, sorry. No, you're good.

Uh, big cat. You also look like you'd be the, the best at knowing where all the restrooms are, or at least like the best type of towel. If there's an emergency, like in the bushes, in the urbary. Yup. Yup. Uh, also, I don't know if this one's too mean. Oh no.

Yeah, this one's a little mean. I thought you hit it straighter than Cody Parky kicked it. Oh yeah. That's good. That's good. Nevermind. That was, that was, Cody Parky, the ultimate pinseeker. Yes.

Okay. You send me your swing, you send me your swing once. And in this video, you did the same thing and I will applaud you. You look after you hit the ball, you look up with so much optimism, like it's going remotely near the hole. I look straight ahead. I'm like, that's where it's, it always ends up like, it usually goes like 90 water and it didn't go an inch and you're looking out like it's flying over the

mountains. Well, to be fair, I was hitting the ball out of the water. Like that's tough to do. And I got it on my second try, which I feel like that's, at least I got it out of the pond. You did. And I will give you the compliment that if you, I think you would be a better happy Gilmore Caddy, because you put it well with one shoe on.

Like that was really impressive. Nice. Thank you. Appreciate it. Okay. And last but very much least Hank, uh, what did I write? Oh, Hank has the posture of a guy who's standing up for like the very first time. And I thought that if the wind blew a little too hard, he might fall over.

Cause he doesn't have an ass. So if you had like a little more thickness in your base, needs a little more rice and thickness. Yeah. The worst part about this max is that PFT and I don't golf. Like I, you know, I used to golf a little bit, but I don't golf. Hank actually thinks he's a golfer. You fall in love with golf every like summer.

You're like, oh, I love playing golf. The only reason Hank didn't play this summer on one of his many vacations was because all the courses were shut down. Right. He, he, I'll say the cool part, the cool part is, is I think you three all had better swings than anyone at four play. Oh, there we go. That's huge.

That is huge. I love it. So that, that is great though, that you, cause it, golf is the ultimate. Like, Oh, I could do that. I could, I could do that if I, if I just played a little bit more, I know I couldn't do it, but it is also one of those games where, you know, you have that one shot and you tell yourself, man, if I could just string those together, how, uh, you know, you went from the web.com, the illustrious web.com to the

PGA, how, uh, like, what was that process? Like trying to, trying to climb that mountain against so many, so many people and trying to get better like every single day. Yeah. It, uh, I kind of had like the, I did the fast track when I first graduated college and it felt really easy. And then I, every year, so I like hit a road bump and went back down. And, uh, it was one of those weird things where when I was on the web, I

always felt like a big fish in a small pond. And then I'd feel like a really small fish in like the ocean, uh, when I made it to the PGA tour. So it was more like, it's like doing a better job, not looking around and seeing like literally tiger woods, like next to you and thinking, like, I gotta go beat that guy. And for some reason in the first few years, you know, that like conquered me. So the journey's tough, man, um, you know, obviously the players are really good,

like any sport, but it's like, uh, it's, it's the only sport, I guess, besides tennis where you're kind of out there by yourself, you can't, you know, throw bad pitches and, and, and still somehow win the game. Like you're just kind of kicked right in the mouth, uh, when you screw up. And, uh, when I would do that, it was like, I would look around and think, you know, well, that guy has been doing this forever. It must be, you know, he must think this is so easy and finally getting out of your, out of your own way and just like playing golf.

Uh, that was the big thing for me. Cause I think I proved at least in college in my first year that like I could do it, but man, I mean, like I, I, uh, I struggled with that for a while. I never really felt like I belonged. And then when you do feel like you belong, if you're, if your game's good, I mean, you do kind of, it shows pretty quickly, but, um, you know, that, that's a, that's the thing about golf. You come to Augusta national for the masters and like, that's another hurdle

to get over to show up here and think, you know, to your first question, which was a good question. Like, yeah, I can win. Like you have to be able to tell yourself that it's very odd because as, you know, like seven year old me, uh, can still like remember watching tiger win the masters. And it's just like, it feels like, uh, uh, kind of like a fantasy, uh, being out here.

Um, but at the same time, it's like kind of practicing doing that and screwing up in my first few years on tour of feeling like you should just have some confidence and like maybe a little bit of swagger, uh, although I'm lacking in that in general, like you have to kind of fake it. Yeah. So, um, when, when you were playing on the web tour, I think I read that you made, or in 2017 in the PGA tour season, you made $18,000. You'd made a little bit of money before that, but I think it was

18,008, 18,008 really mattered at that point. Yeah. That's an extra value meal. Uh, and then you, you had, you won at the Wells Fargo and you got 1.42 million dollars for one win. Now, a lot of times we talk about like, you know, the difference between finishing second and third at some of these tournaments when you've got like Phil lining up a 12 footer and it's going to cost him,

you know, $500,000 one way or another. Um, I have to imagine for a guy like that, it's probably something you can overlook a little bit and just think about making the putt, but when 1.4 million dollars is like literally life changing money for a guy like you, like how much is the money in your head when you're lining up that putt to win, uh, win a tournament? Um, that one wasn't as much for some odd reason. It's almost like when you're in 30th and you have a putt to get to 20th,

you think about it more because it's like, you know, X amount of dollars. And like then it's like kind of a motivating factor. When you're in like the thick of it and, and you're leading, you're thinking more about just like winning, which is probably because you're actually like in a better headspace, I guess, and like focused on the right things, right? Uh, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't set a, uh, alert on my phone when the direct deposit would hit.

And I would also be lying if I said, I didn't shit my pants just a little bit when I saw it come in. Yeah. I didn't know that, uh, the app went to two commas. So that was like, that was sweet. That's sick. How long does it take for a direct deposit to hit after you win a tournament? Uh, I think it typically is two days, but that one took three and it felt like

five. I thought maybe they screwed up or, or I dreamt it. And then I was like getting kind of nervous. I texted my agent and was like, yo, does this like, is this still coming? Like, is this still legit? I was like, yeah, it should be, you know, so I was like, you, you know, I'm kind of freaking out here. I want to see what this looks like.

Yeah. I have a very important golf question for you. How long is your driver? Uh, not 48 inches. Okay. That, that was going to be my follow up. What is, what is a 48 inch driver and why should I care? Uh, well, if you're not a Bryce and a Shambo fan, I guess you shouldn't care.

You don't need to care. Uh, 48 is like the max length, um, you know, uh, four inches is always helpful. Uh, as most men know, um, so yeah, I don't know. It's just a added way to hit it a little further. I guess, um, I've never even tried a 48 inch driver, but, uh, I would be lying. If I said Bryson's not making me like kind of consider it because he's hitting it over the damn moon. Um, but, uh, at the same time, I get, no one had ever really done it before.

So I did never even like cross my mind. Sounds like it's cheating. Mm hmm. I think it's cheating. I'm a guy said it. Yeah. It's cheating. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a one by a third party.

So, you know, that's all you guys, you as the fans can decide. Yeah. All right. We decided it's cheating. How often are you allowed to blame your catty? Dude, I could blame him like whenever I want. Really? Like every single, like even if you, like if you trip walking to the T box,

you can be like, what the fuck, dude, why don't you tell me that was there yesterday, yesterday, I forgot a club behind six and I, I, I asked him why he didn't remind me to pick up the club. Yeah. Okay. So that's great. So you can just blame your catty. Now, is there other times like how contentious does it get when if, if your

catty is like, Hey, hit this shot and you're like, no, I really love this one. Who gets, you get final say, or do you, are there times when he can really persuade you to do one, uh, you know, take a different shot? He, uh, he typically persuades me. I've known my catty since I was six. He's like one of my best friends, which kind of sucks. Cause I can never like really get that mad at him because we end up like driving back to the hotel together or one over.

So like, then it would be awkward and like his mom might call me and like yell at me for yelling at him. So it's like the yelling chain of command, but I have the final say technically, but I do feel like he wins out a lot. Um, I don't really know why. Maybe, maybe I, uh, maybe I trust him a little too much. Maybe that's the issue. Uh, but typically I think I've, we've, we've narrowed it down in our six years

together, I've gotten actually mad at him like three times and two of the times before I even got mad, right before I got mad, he's like, dude, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. And then you can't get mad at somebody if they've already like owned up to it. Yeah, but more often than not, if I was him, I'd be more mad at me than I would be at him. So I listened to him a lot just so, you know, you want to keep, you want to keep the, uh, the, the, the partnership working right.

And see if, if I listened to him and then it's bad, I can blame him. And it's like a nice, that's a nice mental, mental edge. Yes. With mine and it's bad, then we blame me, but we can always blame him. If I always listen to him. He looks like, he kind of looks like Ryan Fitzpatrick. He's got a little vibe with that beard though. Yeah.

Oh, he shaved it. He, uh, started growing in 2013 and he was waiting for the Dodgers to win the world series and four years in a row, basically, we're like, all right, this is the year you could finally get this, you know, beard off your face. And, uh, so this is like the first week, a lot of people are seeing him without the beard and he's walked by, I would say four people that he's friends with that just blew right by him, had no idea who he was. That's hilarious.

So are you, so you are counting this as a real world series? It sounds like. I very much am. Yeah. Okay. Good to know. Yeah. I mean, it was a half a season, like, it's like, I, it's nice to be on this side of

like, I'd be doing what you're doing too. If like the Astros had won or whatever. Um, but like, it's nice to be on this side where you can just kind of like take it and know you're still happy. Yeah. No, just know that everyone else is like, dude, that's not real world series. Yeah. Like if you win the masters this weekend, it's like, we're not really

going to give you that much, we're not going to care. It's, oh, great max. One in November, the world series doesn't normally end in November. No, I'm just saying, but there were 60 games. Yeah. You know, I'll put it this way. It's like playing. It's like winning the masters when there are no azaleas in bloom.

Right. You don't really want to do it. It doesn't count either. Yeah. Well, if, if Brooks are you when it does. Yeah. We'll give you, yeah, you absolutely will count it for you. If Bryson wins it, we will find every way to not mention that.

That's a promise. Yeah. Absolutely. What about, um, what about the caddy uniforms? That's one of my favorite parts of Augusta is they, they dress them up in the painters outfits to like big white overalls. And I read the way that they get assigned numbers, uh, is the winning caddy from last year gets number one.

And then, uh, everybody else gets assigned their order in order that they check in. Does your caddy have a lucky number? And if so, are you making arrangements to try to have him check in on time so he can wear that number? So we already checked in on Monday. I, he, I told him he owed me 500 bucks. If I somehow came in at 69 as the 69th guy, and I was so damn close. I was 63.

I was pissed. Could you just hung out? But yeah, we're 63. It's kind of just, it's a pretty lame, boring number, but I mean, it's a good scoring golf. So I guess we'll take that. Yes, true. We're going to get back to max in a second before we do.

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That's ZipRecruiter.com slash PMT. Zip Recruiter is the smartest way to hire. And now more Max Homo. I have some golf etiquette questions for you. Uh, are you allowed to fart in someone's backswing? Um, there's, it's not in the rule book. So yes. Okay.

You should try that. Um, what about when things aren't going so well, just, you know, smoking a quick bowl? Um, that's in the handbook, not the rule book. So I'll have to ask somebody about that one. Okay. And then also like the nice thing about that is then when you play even worse, you can be like, well, I obviously smoked too much.

Again, you get to blame it on something else. It's like you're getting it pretty quick. I think you would be a pretty good pro. Yeah. What about, uh, like my move? I like to quit around hole 13 cause I just get bored and then maybe pick it up for, for 18 and be like, all right, you know, I'm back. And then I have the energy to finish out the round.

Is that, is that frowned upon? Absolutely not. That's how I love to play golf when I'm home. If we're having like a fun day, you just like decide on a few holes. You're just going to kind of be the guy in the cart. That's, you know, getting the beers nice and cold, making sure the everything's ready for when you guys are going to like have some fun. And then, you know, with two holes left, you get super competitive.

You beat somebody on the last hole and tell them that you kicked their ass off. Yes. Yeah. All right. So I, I think you take, I like how your approach to golf. What about, um, I like to bring some extra clubs. So if I have a bad shot, throw it in the water and everyone's like, Oh my God,

dude, how'd you do that? Why'd you do that with your clubs? And it's actually like an old club. Yeah. So that's perfect. I live in the desert in Arizona. So we call it like a desert club. You have one where you can like hit out of the rocks, but I more or less

like to use it. If you're just frustrated, you can snap it and desert club anyways. So you can kind of, you can kind of kill two birds with one stone. That would be amazing. Like the Bo Jackson of golf. Have you thought about ways that maybe you'll be able to get on TV this weekend? So, uh, a fun thing to do is if you make a big shot, you take your hat off and you like, you acknowledge the gallery that's not there.

Usually they'll like start out the, uh, the broadcast highlight package with like that. Yeah. There are no fans here, but look at, look at max. He's having a great time saying hi to the imaginary people. I do think that's, uh, that's one way to get on TV. I'm playing with a past master's champion and one of like the coolest people on the planet, Fred couple.

So I'll definitely be in the background of him on TV. So I think that'll kind of be my angle is just to see where the camera is and like maneuver my way, like behind him to like kind of be in the photo bomb. Smart. I think winning would be a good way to get on TV. Uh, so I'll probably try that one as well. Yeah. Um, I'm not a big wave at no fans guy because I like grew up with no fans.

Like I, you know, so that it's just been like, I think I've over done, over done that one. Yeah. What about, what about carrying your bag and everyone can be like, wow, max. Like he doesn't forget his roots. Like, look at him. He's just a blue guy because I was pretty sure my cat, he was going to forget to do it, but I was hoping that people would do that and look at me and

be like, this is a really good guy. Like this guy, that's it. And it was more so like Joe's going to forget we're going to get in trouble. Let me just get this out of the way. But again, it was two birds, one stone. Everyone thinks I'm like the nicest guy on the planet, but in fact, I'm just making sure we don't get like fined or something. Is there hazing in golf?

Like your rookie at Augusta, are they, is it expected that you carry somebody else's clubs up to the clubhouse? Or do you have to sing a song like it, like in training camp? Yeah. A hundred percent. Tiger actually makes us all sing to him. Our rookie year, uh, we sing a little dance if you don't like singing. Um, but to be fair, if he asked me to carry his clubs, I would be the

happiest guy. Absolutely. What about, uh, stealing your, your, uh, co-workers wallet while they're playing golf? Is that golf etiquette? Can you do that? Um, I've heard that's frowned upon and it kind of, people don't forget that one. Yeah.

You have to transfer the hypothetical college. Um, what the keeping score part of golf, how like you can fuck that up and then it just disqualifies you. Does that now, obviously that's more your catty, right? Your cat, or no, you have to keep your own score, right? You have to actually do it, right? Some people have their catty keep it. I keep it myself cause my catty didn't finish college.

Right. So it makes me a little nervous. Smart. That's like our producer didn't finish college. So like we have to do that kind of stuff. Um, so, so do you ever get nervous that you like miscounted a, uh, you know, cause that happens to me probably back to the smoking a bowl thing, but I'll always forget like, wait, did I take three shots, four shots?

I can't remember how I got here. Yeah. It's made me nervous, uh, cause even if you didn't play good, you don't want to be the dude that comes in and like, you know, you sign your scorecard. It is the dumbest part of golf that you could play the whole game and tell someone you made a four on accident and you made a three. Like it's literally worse and they give you a four. Right.

And you're watching on TV and we all know exactly what shot you're on. Yeah. Exactly. It's so, I mean, there's a lot of dumb golf rules. I think that one's up there. Um, but yeah, it makes me nervous. I, I definitely am the guy who like quadruple checks it. Um, but I don't know.

It has knock on wood. It has not, it has not happened in a bad way to me yet. Uh, but maybe, um, you know, maybe that's just because I'm, I'm a lot, you know, smarter than most people. I don't know. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe I'm, maybe that'll be my thing. I'm like the, I'm like the most careful, smart golfer there is and best looking.

I don't know. We could throw that in. This is going to suck when you do this this weekend. When you get so nervous about these clips and I can laugh. Yeah. No, this is going to suck. Have you, yeah. Have you come down 18?

You're like, well, max's scorecard is not correct. Has that ever happened where you're in like an official tournament and you're, you just, you just hold out and you're getting to the next tee and you're counting back on the last hole and you're not sure if you had like a four or five and you're doing like that math where you're pointing up in the sky. Like just think, okay, my first shot went in the rough second shot went in the bunker. Have you ever like come down to like pretty much guessing?

Oh yeah. Um, I've had that. I mean, it's pretty embarrassing, but I had to ask my catty once, like, are we putting for six or seven? Uh, cause you hit in the water a couple of times. You start doing the pointing. I don't know. Bryson did that earlier this year and it was funny.

We can laugh now cause he's beating everyone's brains in, but he did the thing where his head's up in the air. He's, you can see him doing like a little bit of the mental math, um, but I've had moments where I've kind of forgotten. Uh, one time when I was in junior golf, I thought I made a 10. And I was so embarrassed that I had to write two numbers in one little scorebox. And the guy in my group reminded me that I made a nine and that was a big win for me.

That's something that's something I, you know, really, really keeping my back pocket for like the optimism of golf. Have you thought about, uh, what you're going to tell Nick Faldo as you're walking down the 18th fairway, uh, for like the little fun fact, if you're about to win the masters, do you like imagine dragons a lot? What's your, what's your thing that they're going to break out? Yeah. Uh, I don't love imagine dragons.

No offense to them. Uh, it's already been taken. Um, I guess I could shout out you guys. I learned a lot watching you guys manage, manage your game around, um, you guys called it TPC sawgrass, not so sure that's the golf course you were at. No, the iconic 17th green was the iconic. Yeah, it's in Michigan, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's where it is right? Yeah. So I guess, um, so yeah, I don't know what I'm going to say. I think I'm going to, I might be a little bit, um, I'll be cool with anything. Honestly, at that point, if you told me that imagine dragons was my thing, if I'm walking up the 18th and I'm about to win, I guess I'd be all right with it.

Uh, but for now, I'm just going to hope they come up with some clever and not just say I'm like the funny Twitter guy, but I mean, I'll take that too. What, at what point, so if you go, obviously winning number one, duh, to finishing second, gotta suck. Cause you're like, Oh, a couple of shots here, a couple of shots there. I could have won. What point does it get good again? Like three, four, five, like what six?

Are you like, yeah, this is awesome. I finished six at the masters. We're talking about that this week. I think third, it's like the Olympics. Like third is like your happy spot. If you're not going to win, cause the silver medalists is always like pretty bummed, but the bronze medalists is stoked to make the podium. So I guess that's where you start to be happy.

Um, but I guess, I don't know. I guess winning, if you're a third, you might only lost by two anyways. I don't know. I guess that's a really good problem to have, especially at Augusta. Yeah. The masters, but, uh, I'm going to go with third is probably like the happiest you'd be with losing. Right.

And then there, and then there's obviously like 11th would suck cause you didn't finish top 10 and six. You didn't finish top five. So yeah. Okay. That's, you got to find that sweet spot finishing third would be pretty nice. Did you get measured for your jacket before you went to Augusta? Or is that something that they do after you win?

Good question. Uh, that would suck if they measured a lot of people, but not me. Just, they just kind of took it on the duck. Yeah. We don't need to waste our time with this guy. Man. Now, now it might be a little insecure. No, because they did not.

They didn't even ask me if I, if I wanted a green jacket, if they, if they, if I want, they didn't ask my size. Um, yeah. Uh, no, that has not been a thing of my week. Do you think, uh, so we're big, like changing rules to make sports more fun guys. What about Mulligan's? I think that golf should have Mulligan's one Mulligan, a person, and it would add that element of like, if you're coming up on the 18th and you're down a stroke,

you got a Mulligan in your back pocket. Who knows what you can do with it. Are you, do you take Mulligan's when you're out with your friends or no? We, uh, me and my buddy Taylor, who plays on tour too. He, uh, we, we, uh, around New Year's have a little three day, four day golf, uh, fun golf tournament thing with all our buddies. And, uh, we have a rule that you can get two Mulligan's a whole, but if you take one, you have to take a shot.

Okay. So you really have to be smart cause over 18 holes, that'd be 36 shots. And I don't know about you guys, but I don't know if I could quite handle that. Um, so that's a fun one because the more Mulligan's you take, the more drunk you will, right? Typically your golf at some point is going to go downhill. John Daly would shoot like a 48. Like allow for that.

I think you need to have to like offset the Mulligan with something. Yeah. Uh, but I, I'm in, I'm in on Mulligan's. I've, I've asked, uh, the heavens the million times, if I could just get that thing done over one time, I would do anything, even like drink, you know, a shot of pop off again. So I'm in with the Mulligan's. What about jerseys?

I feel like golfers should have jerseys that have like, you know, their names across the back with a number on there. That way fans can buy them to support cause like, I don't know. I guess if I wanted to like support, uh, like tiger, I could buy a Nike polo shirt and stand in the gallery and clap for him. But I'd rather wear a jersey of a golfer. Yeah. Um, I liked the idea, uh, golfers, uh, minus like maybe Brooks aren't really

like cool looking in actual athletic gear. So I'm not so sure we'd look like that cool, especially if they did like the jerseys that make your biceps look big. Cause if you don't actually have them, you actually look smaller and more like less like an athlete, which we don't really need help doing. So as much as I hate golf clothes and I hate wearing pants and a belt and tucking in my polo golf shirt, uh, at least we're kind of like leaning into the, Hey, this is kind of a dorky sport, but we're not going to, we're going to

stay in our lane, you know? So I think jerseys would just make us look like we're trying too hard. Do you have to wear a belt? Uh, technically no, I actually had a belt, uh, burst on me, um, two weeks ago. So when I played 14 holes without one, uh, I felt weird, but no one came up to me and kicked me off the course. So I guess you don't have to have one. Yeah.

Yeah. I would go beltless for sure. Yeah. How, how long are you? Like my driver? Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's, it's a fucking golf interview, dude.

Um, I, uh, I just love that question. How long are you, bro? Like the above average, it's just the wording of it through me. Yeah. Yeah. How long are you bro? Like people say that like golf, like how long are you? What do you hit off the tee?

You know, I hit it, I hit it just over 300 yards. I'm not going to wow you, uh, but I, you know, I'm not a bitch. So I like, yeah, 300 yards, not bad. Yeah. I hit it like maybe 200 if, uh, I got a wind in my back. What about your balls? Where your balls look like? Uh, they're like, they're clean and white.

How do you, how did you decide what your mark was going to be on your balls? Uh, I would just, I would draw pubes all over. I think that'd be really funny. Like as a little, every time you lose it, you have to redraw it and it just takes too long. You should play with like a fluorescent green ball and just fuck up everyone at the masters or pink ball and be like, it's, it's breast cancer awareness. So what are you going to do?

You're going to make me stop playing with this. Uh, I think you're allowed to play with whatever color. Talking. Yeah. Bubba played with a pink one for a while. So what about, oh, it's salute to service month, a camouflage ball. That'd be a real pain in the ass. Or yeah, like a green ball and just, then you can just cheat the whole time.

I show up with that. Mike, I show up with a camouflage ball and my cat, he yells to me and says, my heart job's hard enough. Yeah. Please just pick the one I can find in the trees. That's true. That is a difficult job to like track that ball. All right.

I have one last question max. And this is more of a serious question. Uh, the final question is brought to you by cross country mortgage. America's crazy good mortgage company. Go to CCM lens.com slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience or refinancing needs, equal housing opportunity. I don't understand. So you want a tournament, uh, last year, it then gets you into

uh, the masters for the next two years. So how does that work? Like next year, are you basically, I, you have to finish, uh, a certain level to keep getting invited, or if you get a certain level at this master's, you get an invitation, like how does that work? And, and what does that like go into the pressure of every single event? Yeah. Actually, you only get one master.

So, uh, this will be mine. You can get, I think top 12 this week gets you into the next, uh, master. So if we're asking, uh, like you mentioned earlier, getting 13th place would suck here. Yes. Um, so that there's, there's another happy, I think I'd be really happy with 12th if it wasn't first. Um, but yeah, so you have to like re qualify.

I mean, like the top, top guys, you know, if you're in top 15, the world, uh, you get to play in the masters every year. Uh, so yeah, I guess. You know, 12th or better would be another like little mini major goal, uh, for this week. So then next year, are you feeling more pressure because you have to then win another event to get invited to a couple more things? Yeah.

Um, that, that you definitely feel pressure. I guess you kind of get used to just trying to win a little bit. Uh, but yeah, I mean, now that you're like, now that I'm here, it is kind of, uh, motivating to make sure you keep coming back. Uh, cause this is like, this is pretty, pretty damn cool. Uh, so you do feel a little bit more pressure, I guess, a little more motivation cause you don't want to be the guy now who didn't get to play the masters again. You want to like keep coming back, keep, keep, uh, taking chances of winning a

green jacket. So, uh, it's definitely, uh, it's definitely pretty, a pretty heavy thought once you get here and think, you know, this isn't like a guarantee. You'll just be back here next year. No matter what. What about just tipping everyone really well. And then they're like, Hey, that max guy was cool. Yeah.

So that's the other cool thing is if you, if I win again, I'll have more money to tip more cause I don't know if they're, I don't know if my tips are going to as long away as like tiger and Phil. I feel like they can, they can really lay down the law with the tipping. Yeah. Uh, I'm just kind of, you know, the guys go, you know, this is it. And I'm like, yeah, I honestly kind of, yeah, like, I've only won one dude. Do you ever feel bad having so much more clout than a lot of golfers out there?

Like you are, you're the golfer with clout. You're the Twitter guy. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't feel bad. Uh, it is a little embarrassing when you know, you're walking with a group of people and like, you can kind of hear somebody mutter, you know, oh, there's Jordan Spieth, he's, you know, one of the best players in the world though. There's, you know, Brooks Kepke, he's won four majors and then they're like,

Oh, who's that guy? And they're like, Oh, he's really popular on Twitter. That's not like, it's cool. Like a little bit. Yeah. No, that's cool. That, that, that means something. You have a thing.

That's going to be Nick Faldo's thing that he says about you. He's going to be like, this guy, he will judge your swing on Twitter. And he's very funny at it. Yeah. That's, you know, I'm the funny. I'm like, you know, when the, when the, you know, pretty girl in high school is like, Oh, you're, you know, you're the funny guy. Like, yeah, that's exactly who I am.

I'm the funny guy. The world needs laughter. I like it. Well, we're rooting for you. Yeah. Big time rooting for you. You're, you're officially, I mean, if it's you versus Brooks at the end, it's we got to go Brooks.

No offense, but we'll root for you against everyone else and kind of cool. You're going to play with Freddie couples. He's probably going to be wearing his skater shoes, which I always love. Smooth the swing in the game. Yeah. And Jim Nance, well, you will get some screen time because Jim Nance, I don't know if you knew this was roommates with Freddie couples. I've heard it's, that's come up.

It's the Clayton Pershawe, Matthew Stafford fact. I've heard it too many times, but it's, uh, the, what's the one? Dustin Johnson can dunk with no shoes on. That's, that's another one. Is that true? Well, they'll mention it most likely this week, he shouldn't be going around with no shoes on if you catch my drift, you know, got to have traction, a lot of traction stairs, what, what,

you should be wearing cleats in the house. Yes. At all times. Why do golfers wear cleats? Yeah. Good question. Which golfers were clean? Why do golfers wear cleats?

I don't know, man. That's actually, that's another great question for any couples. Doesn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he wears his bands. Maybe that's why we're not all cool. We should all just kind of do what Fred does. Um, yeah, I never really got the cleats thing. I think a lot of the guys who use the metal spikes just like to hear the click

on the ground and make you feel like you're a baseball player or something. Yep. Um, yeah, I don't know. I, uh, that's actually a perfect, perfect, uh, reason right there. Like that's more than enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about clout. Like you need a little clout walking by the fans as you go across the car path.

You know, they're like, Oh, that guy, that guy swings so hard. He needs to literally fasten himself into the ground. Yeah. Have an anchor on the bottom of his feet or else he's going to fly into orbit. Yes. Um, all right. Well, max, thank you so much, man. We are rooting for you.

We appreciate your time, man. And, uh, anytime you'll come back on, we'd love to have you. All right. Thank you. Uh, I appreciate being on you guys are my favorite podcast. So I really appreciate it. Hell yeah. I like it.

This is, this is, you know, masters and then just below, you know, be on part of my, tell Brooks, if you see him, because Brooks was like on too busy today. So give him a little, be like, Hey, I just went on PMT and, uh, you know, had a really good time with the boys. Oh, so I didn't even have to tip him. So this worked out really nice. Yeah, boys. That interview with max home was brought to you by our good friends at CBD MD.

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All right. Let's wrap up. We got some guys on chicks to do Hank. You ready to roll? Ready to roll. Let's fucking roll. Let's roll then. What, what Billy?

What we didn't do the sheet. We didn't look at the sheet. I was just wondering. We actually covered most of it. We did. I was just wondering if people knew what piss jugs were. Yeah. I had a normal term.

It's like piss in a bottle. It's pretty self explanatory. Yeah. Oh, what? Yeah. So this guy had a bunch of piss in a bottle. Long run. No, piss jugs.

No, never mind. I thought it was a candy. Wait. So the piss goes in the jug. Yeah. You know, you don't go to the bathroom and you just piss in the bottles. So is it a jug made out of piss or is it when you piss out a jug? No, never mind.

No, no, no. I think what he's saying is when you recycle the piss, it becomes a jug. Oh, when you flush it down the toilet. Oh, I know what Billy's saying. He's saying when you, when you're like hooking up with a chick and you piss on her jugs, it's like the hottest thing you can do. Or is it when you piss into a machine that spits footballs out and you spray the entire room with it?

On everyone's a prank. Yeah, as a good prank. Piss jugs. Piss jugs. Shout out to Trailer Park boys. Sup guys, especially dad cat and big dick Norman. I think it's big dick Norman. He's on this podcast.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and have not had sex yet. A few BJs and finger action like high school. Wait, what? For how long? A couple years. Two years. He's super religious, so I understand. Recently he's interested in having sex, but he wants to have anal sex because

it's not the vagina. So it's not real sex. Is this real or has this been a long con? I like how he's like recently he's been interested in having sex. He's developed and he's taken interest in my vagina. Yeah, just he sounds like a weirdo. Yeah, I mean, he's very, very religious, I guess. I got it.

Does God not protect the butthole? I don't know. God's just like whatever you can put whatever you want in there. Just not the one two inches away. Yeah, it feels like a pretty fucked up loophole. I think that's still sex. Got it. All or nothing.

Yeah. Hole. We're talking holes, Billy. Pretty holy. Wait, the piss jug thing. I'm really stuck on this. What so what do you do? Sounds like a pretty holy guy.

I just want to say that big cat said he would inject himself with coronavirus. True. I will manage got canceled. And then he said he's obviously not doing that. He will pick two pinky teams this year. He only picked one team though. All right, I'll pick a second pink team. What's my one pink team?

I am going to inject myself. I'm going to get the vaccine. I'll be first to get you. You're either the Falcons. Uh, yeah. Okay. All right, I'm going to take the vaccine too. I feel like I'll take the vaccine from the front on this one.

Shoot me up with whatever you need to absolutely. Uh, the problem is I'll be honest with you guys. I'll be dead honest. Patriots, the Patriots. Having a son has definitely changed the perspective. No, I'm going to pick a second team. Give me a break. Listen, Hank, you can't pull the dad car.

Your fucking little eight pound dog is the same thing. All right. Uh, what do you need? What do you need your pinky for, for your son to not be the worst? I have a son and I'm risking cats over the worst, uh, to not be like the worst role model of all time, but it's pretty cool. If you're like son's friends come over and I like, Hey, look at my dad. He's Mr. Pinky.

There is a, there's a hand you're into woodwork. It's, I understand that there's a difference in this room now because I have a son, but I won't explain it. It's fine. I do too. Right. Uh, all right. You want me to take the Patriots?

Yes. Okay. They're not going to win the Super Bowl. They're not going to the Super Bowl. I've got a future on them. Oh, let's go. I mean, they're not going to win the Super Bowl. All right.

I love it. All right. So I have the Falcons and the Patriots. I'll fucking pick another team. You want to pick another team? What is it? Changers. What?

Bears. No. Cause then that's, I'm putting myself, I'm boxing myself in. Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl? Uh, yeah, probably I would. So that's the exact, no, because I don't want, I don't want to, I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like why would I do that to myself?

Yeah, it should be the Ravens. Then it's the whole NFC East. Yeah. Okay. Fine. I'll throw in the NFC East. Okay. So the entire NFC East, the Patriots and the Falcons, is that enough?

Is that enough? Are you not entertained? No, that's too much. Yeah. I mean, well, only one team is going to make the NFC East. It's three teams. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, yeah, that was great. Hey, big cat PFT. That was a, uh, interesting selection for guys on chicks. Wouldn't you say? Wait, was that another guy's on chicks or was that the end of the first person that wrote it? No, that was a hand selected guys on chicks from Hank, because that was definitely a guys on chicks.

Dear big cat and PFT, I recently listened. Sometimes people make great points in this. Yeah. Okay. I have no question about that. I remember when Hank said he was going to get high with a leaf blower and that hasn't happened. I wasn't allowed to because we got bought by, I was going to do it.

I bought a pound of weed to do it and I had to just smoke it over time instead of all at once. So who's the real loser here? Wait, the gambling company said that you're not allowed to smoke all this weed at once, but you can definitely smoke all of it. Something like that. Pretty stringent regulations. I was just like, don't do it on camera.

I was like, whatever. It was like right when we were getting sold. And I was like, Hey, I, I, you know, I have to honor this bet. I just bought a pound of weed. Like, should I not do this video? And they're like, no, probably not. I was like, what the fuck? It's sad.

Hank look, he looks like Van Gogh. Thank you. Van Gogh bet. Van Gogh bet. Cut your ear off. Yeah. Cut your ear off. Fist out, bitch.

200, 200 K contest entries for Thursday. By the way, I also have a bet that I'm going to get a tattoo if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl. I didn't say it. A chick said it. All the dads that listened to pardon my take, at least back me. I'd be like, your, your perspective on life does change. I have your back.

Hey, dear big cat and PFT, I recently discovered that my boyfriend prefers to sit when he pees. This took me by great surprise and had me questioning his masculinity for him. He says that when he is alone in his own home, he sits just about every time as it is too much effort to aim his ween. He says it comes out to be 70% of the time he is sitting to take a piss. When I confronted him about it, he told me sitting completely eliminates

the need to aim, saving potentially hundreds of dollars in toilet paper for wiping the seat question mark. Well, I'm glad he isn't getting pissed in the seat. I personally find it weird that he's been sitting. Please tell me if I'm being judgy bitch for this, or if I'm justified in taking away his man card. P.S. Thank you kindly.

P.S. Big Cat, the Ravens are now frauds. I don't every morning. I don't like this, this, this email every, I'll put it this way. In between the hours of two a.m. and eight a.m. If I have to piss, I'll sit down because I'm, I'm grog. Oh, see, I, I never sit down because I'm not a bitch.

Oh, I absolutely sit down. There's nothing, nothing to be ashamed of sitting down if you're tired. But plus it's like a little mini workout. You do a little squat, you get a rep in. It is bullshit that, uh, like all we hear now is mask, mask, uh, toxic masculinity is ruining this country. And then if we want to sit down, we're bitches, which we are, but you should at least let us, like we can call each other bitches, but you can't call us a

bitch. Does that make sense? Yeah. Every guy sits down to pee. Like I could say P.S. He's a bitch for sitting. Every guy sits down to pee. If a chick says that, that's fucked up.

You Billy, you sit down to pee. No, no, no, I'm pretty sure that the British army sits down to pee. Like they, to, they mandate it. That's why they needed our ass to save them because it's like for cleaning. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. Like in the barracks, that sounds completely made up.

I heard it one time. Yeah. I don't think so. Who told you that? It sounds like a joke. Maybe like a conversation and maybe a joke, but I believe it, I believe it. Like hanging out with like other American troops that were like shitting on British troops.

I honestly actually shout out the fighter pilots I met in Florida. Okay. That was them. They said that they did. And they said it for real. I don't know how should a girl, how should a girl act to attract guys like big cat and not guys like Billy? How should a girl act?

How should I go? How is that the follow up? How should a girl act to attract guys like big cat and not guys like Billy? Hmm. Good question. I think just, um, read, just breathe, breathe through your lungs. So if you're, if you're not an amphibian, I think that's half of it. Positive vibes don't have gills.

I love Billy. So Billy is a catch. Anyone out there, he's single. I'm not single shit. He's not single. I have plenty of frogs at home, plenty of frogs at home. The guys on chicks always derails Billy's day. I'm in such a good mood when I come in like, yo Hank, like you should do

the self-help book. Yeah. I heard you saying that to him. What was that about? Yeah. Well, Hank's just super, like he just, he is a negative person, but it's accidental. It's because of his thought process and because of them. Whoa.

Honestly, that's actually true. I was more negative since I came back. Like to be honest, we do positive reinforcement all the time. Like, no, you don't. Yes, we do. Billy, I say I love you every single day. Yeah. But it's like negative.

It's like, I love you. I love you. Billy, last time we did the positive reinforcement, we were like, thank you for this sheet and you're like, why are you acting surprised? PFTs, I love you at the end of the episode. What about it? Oh, you're saying it was not real. Is it real?

Why would not be real? It's sarcastic. He said it to me all the time and I do say to you all the time, I'm joking. I'm joking. Hi PMT. I recently came home one night. My boyfriend was sitting on the couch in the dark watching football. I asked him why he didn't turn on any of the lights in our apartment.

He said, I can see. Do all guys just sit in the dark if no one is around? Thanks. Yeah, less distraction. Yeah. And that's like if the lights are. Whatever the lights are like set up when you walk in, that's how they stay. Yeah.

That's actually the ideal man cave set up. Plato's cave was like that. All you could see was just the projection on the wall and nothing else. There was nothing to distract us. And we were very happy not having anything else besides what we were staring at. We're just very, very lazy people. I mean, I've said this before, but like there'll be times when I'll be in my car. I'll park and I'll have to bring something up and it's in the back seat.

And I just won't do it. Okay. I'll get it later. The British have to sit down when using the toilets in their tanks to piss. Well, okay, because they can't because you can't stand up in the tank. I'm sorry, fact checked myself. No, that's a good fact check. All right.

Last one. This is where the red coats. Mm hmm. Good. Hey, PMT, especially frog fallatio fanatic Billy. Great. A girl I went to. Great.

Positive vibes. Positive. I do that's actually a compliment. Yeah, you get to fuck frogs. What, what guy above water, underwater. Billy, maybe one of them will turn into a princess. Exactly. I'm just looking for my princess.

A girl I went to high school with ended up getting into porn soon after we graduated. She wasn't known around school for being a promiscuous at all. In fact, she had the same boyfriend all through high school. Something must have snapped in her because she ended up becoming semi-famous performing in dozens of incredibly filthy videos. I haven't personally watched any of them. My friend said some of them were more hardcore than 1998 when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted 16 feet through an announcer's

table. This is brand Walker. This is a chicken world. This is brand Walker. Very intimate knowledge of the WWE. Well, my friend said some of them. Oh, okay. Got it.

Um, wait, so what's the question? I, there actually was no question. I was just kind of interesting story. I could just give us the name. I think that you need to watch. Hey, you know what? I enjoyed it guys. Yeah.

That was a great contribution by Hank. Yeah. Good job, Hank. Good job, Hank. You made up a story. So Hank, I enjoyed it. Yeah. Good job, Hank.

And people at home do too. Positive vibes only everyone. Wait, Billy, Billy, Billy wrote that one in. I, I, that wasn't going to be the last one until I realized there wasn't a question. This one I was looking through with the last submissions. This is a real question. Billy, I'm sorry.

Hey boys, my friends and I are debating whether Billy football is fuckable or not. Some say he's marginally attractive. Some say he's a giant man child who embodies all the things we hate about the male species. What's the verdict? Billy is a fuck boy. You know, he is a fuck boy. No, no, no.

So yes. Hank, Billy's fuckable. What the fuck? You're a fuck boy. Billy's fuckable. I, I'm not saying yes. Billy's fuckable as fuck. I've just been supporting you this whole time.

And you just pull that one out. I'm telling you they're fuckable. I'm, I'm telling you, listen, Billy is, if you could, Billy's like so much more than meets the eye. He's young in four or five years. He'll be a big time catch. Wait, he's still in his fuck boy face. PFT's right.

He's growing. I think that when you're 33 and you're getting married, you're going to look back and you're going to do the count where you do your number. You're going to remember Billy. You're going to include him in the count, but you're going to laugh when you're like, Oh yeah, I remember that guy. That was a fling. Yeah.

That's a compliment, Billy. Billy, you are doing great. And I love you. And Billy, guess what? You know what? You're tall. No. Here's your handsome.

No, you look strong. Your boots aren't that dirty today. You've got the second biggest biceps on your Jenga team. You took the shoelaces out so you're not going to kill yourself. I mean, you have no shoelaces in your boots. It's a weird move. Anyway, Jeffrey Agstein with no shoelaces. Yeah, that's right.

You can't hang yourself in your barn. Sorry, no, subteen, subadult. Billy, you can't, you can't wear your five finger shoes anymore. You stopped wearing those. Yeah, I kind of wore through them. Yeah. So there you go. You improved to being fuckable.

Billy, you're going to get the number today. 18. Eight. Billy, you're going to get the number today. 56. He's thinking really hard. 69. All right.

I'm going to go with 24. Eight, eight, eight. Here we go. Here we go. Billy, if you get this, it'll be incredible. Be a legend, Billy. Mammoth skulls were found in ancient Greece, and they thought they were actual Cyclops.

So close. We're too off, Billy. You missed by two balls, Billy. First timer. D1. First timer. You think if I hit it again, you'll get it? No.

We run it back. Only for Billy. 69. Only for Billy. This is our first multiple drawing since August 30th. Oh, wow. It doesn't count. It doesn't count for anyone else.

Just for Billy. Billy, turn it off. Okay. Well, that's our show. Love you guys. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh so needless to stay off the set, it, but me is struggling a 줄ку He's navigation life is okay, say out for me. I so gimpa better to be safe than solving

Turkey, Turkey. Go, Turkey, Turkey. I'll hear ya. I'll hear ya. presented by Barstool Sports.