Pardon My Take - Ray Romano, Baseball Is Back + Mt Rushmore Of Spoilers

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Baseball is back after a very fun All Star Game. We have a few old man takes about the Home Run Derby. (00:02:22-00:20:12) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Elon Musk's gross body and Everest Equivalent mountain climbing. (00:21:21-00:41:05) Ray Romano joins the show to talk about his career, the Jets, breaking news to him about Zach Wilson and tons more. (00:41:56-01:16:32) Mt Rushmore of Spoilers + Guys on chicks. (01:18:19-01:54:06)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, Ray Romano on the show. Great interview with Ray Romano, someone we all grew up watching. Good interview with him.

Then we have Mount Rushmore of spoilers. So you will be spoiled. We have guys on chicks. We have the All-Star Game, Home Run Derby, Hot Seat Cool Throne, and is brought to you by our friends at Cross Country Mortgage. If you're still throwing away money on rent every month,

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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff worth to be done. No place to hang alone washing, and then I can't blame all on your son. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric high venue,

and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric high venue. It's part of my take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to part of my take, presented by crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool. Check him out today. Today is Wednesday, July 20th,

and baseball is back. It was a great all-star game. Yeah, no, no, it was, it's back. I already saw Sourpuss hang, baseball's back. It was a great all-star game, man. It is, it was, well, I wish you over it hit, but it was, baseball was fun,

big poppy was chaotic in the dugout, the mic'd up, catcher-pitcher thing was fucking cool, the mic'd up players were awesome, like, good job. I like the uniforms too. I have some old man takes coming, but for right now, I just wanna say, and the allure of the fact that

if the NL had tied it in the ninth, we would add a home run derby, I'm saying baseball's back. I wanted the home run derby thing, and it seems like a rule that they came up with at the last minute, because they only literally announced it yesterday. Correct.

If there's a tie in the ninth inning, it's gonna go to an extra home run derby with, I think, three players from each team. Yep. And we were all rooting for that. I was definitely rooting for that, was disappointed we didn't happen, but I also think that with the all-star game,

there's like a sense of romanticism that goes along with it, where you always remember the all-star games when you were a kid. It doesn't matter how old you are, I feel like the all-star game is meant mostly for kids watching the game. Well, do you know what it is too?

I think it's, it is a clear, like the summer kind of just blurs into one, like, you know, every day's hot, you're getting drunk, playing golf, whatever you might be doing. Beach. Beach. July 4th, and the all-star game,

are the two tent pulls, where you're like, oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, it brings back, brings back bunting. You know, the bunting, the stuff that they put around on the fences, the like, semi-circle, red, white, you know, it's like- Yeah, opening day in October, they do it.

Oh my God, baseball fucking owns the bunting industry. It's great, yeah. It's fantastic. And there's one guy who's been making those, and he's just like, baseball, thank God for baseball. That's his number one client. It's like, they will always do this. Yeah, it's like that, and like,

waspy weddings in like- Nantucket. Yeah, and like, yeah, the Hamptons, and like, outside of like, Della, or DC. Yeah, it's very festive. Yeah. But you get, you get some days where it's like, you get bunting everywhere,

and occasionally you have those straw hats, the like, they have the brim all the way around it, the flat brim all the way around. Maybe a guy with a kazoo. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's Americana, baby. That is. I think we can all appreciate that,

but you go through a natural life cycle with the all-star game, where when you're a kid, it's the most magical day of the summer. Yeah. You love it, it's all your favorite players playing, and then you get older, and you're in your 20s, and you're like, oh, the all-star game sucks now.

It doesn't matter how old you are when the, or it doesn't matter which all-star game we're talking about, if it could be like 2010, it could be 2019, 90. If you're 25 watching the all-star game, you think it sucks, but then you get a little bit older, and then you're like, you know what, this is kind of fun. They were enjoying themselves out there. I didn't even mind the uniforms.

I like the uniforms and the hats that they were wearing. Yes. It was kind of cool. Like you said, the mic'd up thing was awesome. But one of my first all-star game memories, this just flashed back to me was when I was like, maybe like seven or eight, my cousin, who was way older than me, his friend, I bet him,

I think I took the NL, he took the AL, 20 bucks, and then he convinced me that the all-star game was pre-taped, and I paid it, and then my dad like, I paid it out of like my piggy bank, and my dad was like, are you a fucking idiot? Yeah, you're moron. Like it's not pre-taped, go get your money back. You're moron.

The sports on TV is not pre-taped. Yeah, that's America, but I was dumb. I was seven, I was an idiot, and that was, you know, I'm a loser, so I was like, yeah, of course, it was pre-taped and I lost. Yeah, but basically- I believe that every, you could tell me any game was pre-taped and I lost, I'd be like, yep, you're right.

Baseball is backed, and I was fun. It was a fun night, the home run derby was fun. The rules kind of got in the way. I have some issues with the home run derby. Well, I have some old man-takes, if I may, real quick, but if you want to go first, you go. No, go off, go off. We'll get to the home run derby.

All right, well, one of them is the home run derby. I have some old man-takes. Old man-take number one is the jerseys. I do think it's bullshit. They should wear their own jerseys in the All-Star game. I don't like these, like, everyone's wearing the same color. The cool part of it is, like, one side wears all road and one side wears all home, that's cool.

You get to see all of the jerseys on the field at once and all of the hats. I don't like the way that they did it this year. I didn't mind it. I thought the jerseys, I thought they looked- Again, it's an old man-take. I thought they looked good enough where it wasn't, it felt like it was an All-Star game.

It felt like the jerseys were unique and special enough where I was like, oh, this is different than normal game. I know what you're saying. Yeah, there's something about, like, oh, yeah, the shortstop in the third baseman are wearing different jerseys. That's cool, like, I don't know. There's just something about it.

I like it. I like when the jerseys are different and the hats are different. It's just, it's fun. The gloves were different. The gloves were different. My second take is, now, this one's gonna get hated on, but I kind of sort of wish the All-Star game

still decided home field advantage in the World Series. That it meant more. I agree. It was one of those rules that was objectively unfair because, like, one team could win, like, 115 games and they get fucked, but it still was kind of fun. Well, it was created in the aftermath of Bud Selig calling a tie in, like, the 13th inning.

And then the next year, they were like, that was such a colossal dumpster fire. We have to overreact to it and try to fix a problem that maybe didn't really exist. It was fun. And I say that is also... It would just suck if you're a National League fan. I recognize it also.

I'm saying this because the Cubs suck. So it's like, if the Cubs were really good, I'd be like, no fucking way. I don't want this meaningless game in the middle of July to decide home field advantage, but yeah, I kind of miss it. I kind of miss it. It's so stupid, but I kind of miss it.

Like, if I'm just being honest in the trust tree, I know it's gonna get, people are gonna be like, you're stupid for that take, but I just kind of miss it, meaning something. So my idea for the Pro Bowl, which could be switched over to the All-Star Game too, is that the winning team, the players on that team, they get a year taken off their contract

where they can get closer to free agency if they want it. Yeah, if they want it. I like that. Oh, Giancarlo Stanton won the Big Dildo Award. I don't... He won the... It's just the glass bat. He won the Sybian.

Yeah, what is it? I don't know, but Giancarlo absolutely yeeted that ball in the left field defense. I don't know if you saw that. He fucking crushed it. Don't shake your head. Yeeted was the correct use there. I told you, I warned you as far ago as like six months

that in July I was gonna start saying yeet. He yeeted that ball and yeeted it on that ball. He did. Both. So that actually brings up my third old man take. He culture. Yeah, my third old man take is I wish the home run derby went back to 10 outs.

So I kind of agree with that because they took the simplest thing in sports, which is big man stand-up plate, mashed dongs. And we, not the most simple part is we get to watch dongs. Yeah. We get to watch the dingers land and be like, whoa, look at that dinger. The concept was big man smash ball 10 times.

Yeah, and we watch ball go far. How far ball go? Yeah, right. Ooh, that ball go far. Right, and I get it. Like it was terrible sometimes watching guys take pitches, but the way it works now, like it's just chaos. There's three balls in the air at the same time.

Yeah, it's hard to keep up with. And there was a potential scoring error that happened. Yes. MLB home run derby rigged. Big time rigged. Albert Pujols, one of his home runs should not have counted. He also, his pitcher had not even started his wind-up when the clock hit zero.

And then Schwerber may or may not have had a dinger taken off the board because they couldn't keep track of all the balls in the air. And I'm pretty sure Albert Pujols got 30 seconds bonus time for no reason. For being old. He was not hitting it 440. For being old.

I get it. Again, these are old man takes, so they are meant to be laughed at by the younger generation be like, you guys are fucking lame. I just miss, like there was a moment in the home run derby where it was like they were just hitting so many home runs and you couldn't watch any of them. And you didn't get the distance on any of them.

Like I miss being able to sit there, watch a dinger and then, and Chris Berman be like, and that one's going down to Temecula. And then it's like seeing how far it went and then reset another dinger. Yeah, it's also impossible to compare performances in the home run derby that we have now to performances in the past.

Correct. So like back, I remember when it was at Camden Yards in Baltimore and King Griffey Jr. was putting on the best display of hitting that I've ever seen. He was like hitting balls off the warehouse. Right. There were like people sitting in the window

trying to do their spreadsheets, getting hit in the head by dingers. And that was incredible because he would hit the ball and then he'd stand next to the batter's box and the entire crowd would just all simultaneously appreciate this one ball. There are too many balls. Too many balls.

Too many balls. And I agree with that. Yeah. And again, I get it because like watching, there are moments where we would watch him. I think Sammy did it one year where he just took like 10 pitches in a row and that does suck.

But I think I would rather that then be able to gawk at the dingers, then have just a flurry of dingers and be like, wait, where'd this one go? Where'd that one go? Oh, like there was a couple that were hit like 480 and we just didn't even get a chance to appreciate it. No, they incorporated math into the home run derby.

Right. And I don't appreciate that. Chris Berman. Chris Berman, shout out Chris Berman. Chris Berman would be screwed in this new format because he wouldn't be able to keep up. Yeah. Yeah, he also was wearing a beautiful two-tone shirt.

Yeah, no, it was, yep, it was the pattern of the shirt. It was designed so that right around the neck that the blue color would turn a little bit darker blue. It was like the mountain's turn blue. Yeah, I also was thinking about it. Like if Chris Berman was in the sun on the field and he wasn't sweating, I'd be like, call the ambulance. Something's wrong.

Because Chris Berman just, he rolls out. He's shacken during the national anthem sweating, like at all times. It's the mark of a healthy body to regulate itself using perspiration. He also, someone pointed out, which was very funny, that Chris Berman did look like the big Russian nesting doll with Jeff Passon and Tim Kirkchin standing next to him.

That's the thing about every single Major League Baseball insider. They call them insiders because they can fit inside everybody. It's Jeff Passon, it's Ken Rosenthal. Dude, Hank, remember when we saw Ken Rosenthal on the plane? Buster only. Ken Rosenthal jumped up on the seat to get his luggage out of the top.

Yeah. In one quick motion, I was like, what did this guy just do? I've never seen anything like it. He jumped up on the seat to get his overhead luggage. And it was like, yeah, I do this every time. It was crazy. We're not even talking about Tim Kirkchin either. Like those four right there,

I think the average height is probably like, I don't know, somewhere around Frankie Munez. Yeah, it's crazy. They are true insiders. But yeah, that was good to see the Schwam. The Home Run Derby was fun. I'm not saying it wasn't fun. I'm just saying I kind of miss being able to just stand,

sit there. I'm essentially saying it's too fast paced. I'm also hearing that Juan Soto may have ruined his swing. And so trade value for him would be way down. And probably no team is going to want to sign him as a free agent either. Yeah, the old Bobby Abril. Yeah, so he's probably off the market, not for life, Juan Soto.

Yeah, yeah, that was a hell of a, I mean, Julio Rodriguez was awesome too. That was electric. Well, that's why it's bullshit when they like, cheat it for poo holes when it's like, he made more last night than his entire salary. Yeah, yeah, like it matters. Like Albert Pools doesn't need the money.

Yeah, no, Julio Rodriguez is going to put a million dollar prize pool. He's making $700,000 this year. That's, and so he was going to make, if he had won that, he would have won a million dollars. That's crazy. That's insane. I love how Hank pronounced Albert Pools' last name,

poo holes. Yeah, I mean, it was disgusting, the old man. Poo holes. Poo holes. He's, how old is he? I remember when I, I was like, I must have been 10 years old and my friend was like, there's this guy named poo holes.

Yeah. 42. It's the best. The funniest thing in the entire world. And then it's like, he's really good. His listed age is 42? January 16th, 1980. He's like 45 easily.

He was so mad when he won that first round matchup. Yeah. He thought he was done for the night. He was so gassed. He was so gassed. And yeah, I mean, baseball's back. They do do, baseball's all star festivities are the best of the four major sports.

Yeah, I agree. Like, I mean, you could say maybe basketball, the dunk contest sucks. Like, and like, yeah, it is. I think it's not even close. Also, big shout out to what Dave Jouse. Yeah. Dave Jouse was back out.

He was back out there again. Oh, we didn't even mention the fact that Peter Lanzo, the guy was treating it like game seven of the world series. Yeah, he was locked in. He was to lose in the second round. He was meditating backstage. He was deadlifting in between rounds. It's crazy.

He was, he was taking it so seriously. I would be so mad if I were a Mets fan. Like, dude, you have a good team this year. Like, this is, this is supposed to be fun. Yeah, he was sitting backstage with his eyes closed, chanting to himself, getting ready to go back out there for the home run derby. Does he have frosted tips?

I don't know if he has frosted tips. I think he might have frosted tips. They call him the polar bear, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was fun to watch. The pitcher, actually the best pitcher of the night was the Braves pitcher that was pitching to Acunia. Yeah.

He's throwing junk. Yeah, he was. He's throwing sliders on him. It sucks when a pitcher's back. I wanted to see the straight ahead center field cam on that. Get pitching ninja on that to show me exactly how much movement was on those pitches. Yeah.

It was impossible for Acunia to get a hit off him. Yeah. And Dodger Stadium was beautiful. It was, it also brought up that memory we had of the time we couldn't, we were so fucking high, we couldn't explain what our podcast was to two guys in line in the concession stand. Yeah, listen, when you're high and you're trying,

you're trying to figure out an order that involves multiple flavors of ice cream and also explain what a podcast is, that's just too much information flowing through your brain. Yeah, they were just. Rich Hill, Bobble Hill night. It was it? Yeah, I found it.

I remember. I just found the Bobble Hill when I was moving. I was like, why the fuck do I have a Rich Hill, Bobblehead? I think I just remember us eating edibles before and we just ate way too many. And we were like, and then halfway through the game, we're like, whoa, this is, this place is crazy. Yeah, no, I was, I was enthralled by the majesty

of Dodger Stadium. I was like, I get it now. Yeah. I get it. It's beautiful. I understand. Yeah, and then those two old guys were like, people come up asking for pictures and we're like,

um, we're like on the internet. I remember, didn't we try, we had to do the math because we interviewed Tommy LaSorta before the game, right? Right. So we had to figure out like, how, what's inappropriate in my time? Like, can we take these edibles while Tommy is still in the room?

Is that okay? Yes. Yeah. And yeah, I think we saw Tommy later and we're like, whoa. Yeah. You're still alive. RIP. He was still alive that night after we interviewed him.

He was still alive. Yeah. Well, yeah, he was. Yeah. We were, we had nothing to do with his death. We were way too high to kill him. Yes. Way, way too high.

We would have just hugged him to death. So I guess we could. That would have been beautiful. Anything else? Jake, what'd you say the, the NL has now lost 10 in a row? They haven't won since 2012. Nine in a row because it's 2020. When they last won it, the Astros were still in the NL.

Wow. Altuve was wearing an NL All Star jersey. The curse. It's crazy. Altuve was in the All Star game in 2012. I saw a picture of it. So. Whoa.

Damn. Yeah, here it is. I guess so. Kansas City. Yep. That's him. Oh yeah. Oh wait.

Wow. That is crazy. See, I don't like those jerseys, the old blue ones. I don't like when they do those different colors. I like what they did tonight. It was like, it felt like, it felt almost like an arena, like a classy arena football uniform that they were wearing. Yeah.

Game of the future. Yeah, exactly. It was nice. All right, so baseball is back, the mid-summer classic. By the way, as you guys see, I totally forgot, but the game in Iowa this year is the Reds and the Cubs. Oh man. Here's what I don't understand.

But it's going to be a great game. Right, right, but there was no scenario that that game was going to be good. What do you mean? Like the Cubs weren't going to be good and the Reds weren't going to be good. Big market. I get that, but it actually is that they

are fighting for last place right now. I guess once they get the corn stocks out, we'll be like, ah, who cares? They should have been playing Williamsport on the Little League field. Yeah. Red Sox Orioles this year. I'm looking at that right now, Williamsport.

Oh really? Oh yeah, they play at the big stadium. I remember I tried to bet the over because I was like, oh, they're going to play at the Little Field. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You fucking idiot, of course they're not. They should definitely do that with the Reds and the Cubs.

Yeah, this Reds Cubs game is going to be so bad. Wow. But again, what I'm saying is when they made that schedule, I get the big market thing, but neither of those teams were projected to be good this year. Credit though to Rob Manford for figuring out that we need a mid-summer classic, like another mid-summer classic,

because usually the All-Star game's over. It's like, okay, I don't have to care about baseball until the last week of August. I'm checking out. Yeah, we need Aaron Judge to hit 62 home runs. Yep, that's what will keep our attention going. Good, yeah, he's got 33 at the All-Star break, so come on. What does Swarber have?

29, something like that. He's up there. Swarber just hits him bunches, except for last night, which that was a killer. Well, that was rigged. Yeah, that was rigged. All right, let's get to Hot Sea Cool Thrones, brought to you by our friends at Chevy.

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That is the PMT difference. Hot Sea Cool Thrones, Hank, why don't you start us off? My hot seat, I have a couple. Okay. A few, actually. See a three. Yes. Okay, so.

Oh my God, he just admitted it. He admitted it. Should I do, I'll do a couple. The Oakland A's are my first hot seat. So you're doing two. Yeah, I'm gonna do, yeah. Okay, so you're admitting it again. Admitting.

A couple is two. Yeah, a couple could also be a few. I don't know about that. We don't have to go through the Webster section here again. Oakland A's, they tried to get their all star pitcher. They tried to get him a commercial flight from Houston to LA. And then when the Astros found out,

they let him join the Astros players chargers. Charter. Okay, so he had to hop a ride. What was that guy's name? I don't know. The A's guy. I wrote, I was. It was Blackburn.

Yeah, my bad. Did you see the Nationals? No, that's fake news. That was fake. They didn't fly out of SOTO. No, that's after you're down the deal. No, that's not how it happened at all. What happened?

It's not, Dan Snyder had the company jet flying over to Israel. They made SOTO fly commercial because he turned down the 440. They didn't have the jet, Snyder took it. By the way, we'll be bombing Snyder's yacht off the coast of Israel on the ghost of Manhattan tonight at 8 p.m.

Similar story. So I mean, the real focus of this hot seat, I guess it's really one combined, but everyone was upset with the A's for this, for not getting a private plane for one player to go from Houston to LA. And then simultaneously, the entire internet is very upset with Kylie Jenner

because she took a private jet for 12 minutes. Respect. Where? For the distance of a 45 minute drive. Where, from where to where? From LA to LA. Yeah, it was up to 405. Love it.

Traffic was bad. Love it. So it's one of those things though. It was like kind of the internet in a nutshell where it's like everyone's roasting. They're like, oh, you know. That's one of those things too. You can roast, but if you had that ability,

you would do the same thing. If they're like, oh, it's an hour and 15 minutes in traffic or it's 12 minutes on a jet. Yeah, what are options? If you had the money that she has, you would do it without a doubt. Take a jet, not a helicopter. No.

You know how that went. And then my other hot seat was the Hoover Dam. Yeah. There's a big explosion at the Hoover Dam. Huge one. I feel like that's in every movie, sci-fi movie. Like shit always happens at the Hoover Dam and then things go south.

Yeah. Do we know what exploded there? There was a big fire. Billy? I think it was one of their turbines. Oh. That doesn't sound good. They didn't get their turbines checked.

People forget that Las Vegas should not exist. Yeah. It's just out in the middle of the desert. They just built it out of nowhere. The mob. Shout out to mob. Mob gets a bad rap. They built Las Vegas for us.

That's a fact. Say what you will about the mob. They built Las Vegas. Mm-hmm. Okay, your cool thrones? Killed Kennedy too. Yeah. Elon with his pop top.

Oh yeah, he took mine. What'd he do? Elon with the pop top doff. Elon Musk had a picture that came out and he looks like a fucking beast. Is he a doughy guy? What an alpha. No.

I wanted to ask. No. I wanted to ask Billy about. Like a beast. I wanted to ask Billy about his body because there's something going on. I don't know what he's injecting himself with. It's just raw sexual energy.

The dude just exudes alphanus. He is one of the weirdest body shapes I've ever seen in a video. Oh yeah. He is a tub of cream cheese. He looks like he ate himself. Damn. Wow. Yeah, and it's the skin tone is,

you gotta fucking hop in the tanning bed, Elon. At least get a spray tan. Yeah, he's like clear. His skin is like, it's not white, it's not pink, it's not tan, it's like the stuff that they wrap up a spring roll with at a Thai restaurant. That's what his skin's made of. Oh, I hate that stuff.

It's weird, isn't it? Yeah, it's always, yeah. It's still not as bad as Zuckerberg's white face. No, Zuckerberg's ass, yeah. He's beefed up. True. Yeah. Peaches.

That's it. Elon with the pop top doff. Okay. Also, cool thrown Elon, not only is he an international sex symbol right now, but he also is not going to have to buy Twitter for the low, low price of $1 billion. So he's gonna pay.

Why, because his dad's banging his stepdaughter? Yeah, probably has something to do with it. You got all the things to deal with, bro. So he backed out of the sale. He's alleging that the bots, the bot situation was not. They're suing him, right? Yeah, but then since he entered into the official agreement, he's getting sued for,

he's gonna have to pay $1 billion unless he can prove that Twitter like withheld information that he asked for specifically. Bottom line is. A billion? When you say, yeah, a billion dollars. It's a billion dollar mistake that he made potentially. And it sounds like the court's gonna rule

with Twitter on this one. And they're ruling it down in Delaware. And this is something that occurred to me yesterday, but we need to figure out what the fuck is going on in Delaware. It's America's file cap. Why does Delaware? Yeah.

Delaware has so much business that runs through it. Everything. Absolutely nothing inside that state with the exception of like two decent beach towns. I don't understand what's going on in Delaware. I had like five people that have DM me because I've asked the question, what's going on in Delaware? They've written me long, long screeds.

I'm more confused now than ever. What the fuck? We need to shut the whole place down so we can figure out what the hell's going on. Very friendly to corporations. Do all your business in Delaware. My hot seat is Leonard Farnett. Because about this time every year,

we start to get a report of one, usually it's a running back, one running back that's reporting to camp slightly overweight, shall we say? And this year that would be Leonard Farnett. The reports are that he's up to 260 pounds, but then playoff Lenny was posting videos of him doing dead lifts and stuff being like,

look, I'm more powerful than I used to be. I'm not that fat. The Bucks have a couple other options at running back they can go with, but Lenny was getting dragged. He was getting dragged hard in the news. I don't like it. And he fired off a tweet today,

responded to all the haters. This is a great out of context tweet from Lenny. He goes, they wouldn't have the same energy in your face, so why entertain them? See y'all September 11th. Ooh. So. Damn. He's joining the live tour.

Yeah, what the fuck? That's what I got out of that one. G-Hod Lenny. Okay. I don't like the fat shame of our good friend Lenny. I don't like it one bit. Yeah. I think he's just gonna be powerful.

Listen, Leonard Farnett has always, he's always played the game bigger than everybody else. Going back to high school, college. He was usually bigger than some of the linebackers, most of the linebackers, that he was going up against in college. And then he gets to the NFL. Guess what?

They're all bigger than him now. He has no choice but to put on weight. Yeah. He'll work it off anyway. That's what training camp is for. Yep. He's on the blogger page though. Maybe we should put this one up.

Yeah, we should. Got some clicks. I like that. All right. And your cool throne? My cool throne was Elon Musk. Oh, okay. But Hank took it.

The hot seat is podcast duos. Cause Deez and Merrill have split up. Everyone was very upset online, understandably. And it made me think like we should, one of us just has to die PFT before we split. Nose game. Yeah. Oh, fuck.

All right, I'll just have to die. Cause like I was thinking about it, it'd just be easier for the other person. Why don't we just fake, one of us should fake- Oh, what do you mean? What do you mean? Oh, Billy steps in.

Yeah, Billy's right here. Both of you would have to die. I would. Well, if you watched that, no. I guess Billy would have to die. I'll just say it right now. If PFT died and Billy tried to sit in his seat, I would then kill myself.

So it'd be a double death. Um, yeah. But on your hand. Billy, look, they say that podcast duos without young interns don't last as long. Oh, so you're intern. All right. So we'll adjust your salary.

And Jake's an intern as well. You just demoted Jake? Yeah. Yeah. You need a family daughter. What does your Twitter bio say? No longer an intern. Oh, nice.

You know, Jake has been not an intern for like three years. Yeah. I'm not an intern, but young members, young members. Yeah. But yeah, no, I think one of us has to die because it's just, it would just be easier on everyone. It might be like, oh, they would have kept on putting out hits.

They keep it together for the kids. Yeah. It might be like when old people die and then just, you know, two days later. Heartbreak. Heartbreak. I can't go on anymore. How soon after the Deezus and Miro split up, Billy,

did you think like, maybe I could take Miro spot? Yeah. I had no idea. Can you do a, can you do a M&M impression? Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Yeah. I think the Bodega hive is alive and well. Yeah.

Yeah, that sucked though. Yeah. Deezus is, he's a friend and I think he's gonna be great in the long run. Yep. I think it's gonna work out well for him. He'll probably land on his feet. We should get him on the show.

Really, really soon. Yeah. But it also like, it's one of those things that this is, I feel like this is new media. Again, the people are gonna look into this. I already said that one of us just has to die before we split up. But like the, so just remember that part.

The next part, but like bands split up. Like things, you know, like this happens, like teams split up. It's, I feel like we're just so new to podcasting that like the podcast split ups haven't really, we've had, we had come town and now Deezus and Mero. Yeah. It's a bloodbath this summer.

It's fucking, we're losing everyone. And also with new media, I think that like, they were around for what? 10 years doing the podcast together. Call it daddy. Call it daddy, split up. That was, I'm still getting, not getting over that. Yeah.

But yeah, they were around for 10 years before they split up. And that's a very long time in podcasting. It's not like, you know- A long time for anything. Mike and the Mad Dog worked together for what, like 30 years probably? I don't think it was that long.

But I feel like there's something about doing a podcast where you work together like day in, day out. You're around each other all the time. That does make it seem like 10 years is a long time. It's a long time. It's a relationship. So yeah, one of us will die. I promise you that.

And then my cool drone is life accomplishments. No matter what age they come. So Andrew Brandt tweeted out today. He's a former, former Packers front office worker. He's now, I think he does like a, I don't know what he does now. I think he's like a reporter. He's an insider.

Insider. So he tweeted 62 today, entering middle age. Join Packers at 40, first triathlon at 47. Joined media at 51. Law professor at 56. Started podcast slash newsletter at 58. Climbed Everest equivalent at 61. Everest equivalent.

Everest equivalent. So I looked it up. There's a mountain in Utah that people just walk up over and over. And then they say, well, I did the equivalent of Everest. Yeah, that's bullshit. How, why would you ever brag about that ever? I think it's even worse that he bragged about his newsletter.

Yeah. Like that's a career accomplishment. At the age of 58, I started emailing everybody every single day. Yeah. Those things went in reverse. Of like coolness. Yeah.

But no, climb. No, no, climbed. Well, yeah, yeah. That Everest equivalent. That shouldn't have been on the list. Could you imagine being like, like sitting at a dinner table and being like, so what's like the coolest thing you guys did? Well, I, I did an Everest equivalent.

What? So he just walked up a hill. Yeah, the altitude is like the main, the main fact. That's the thing. And it's dead bodies. And the dead body. The frozen ones. And the weather and the Yetis.

Yeah. Everything. The Sasquatches up there. I went and saw the picture. It was like in the middle of the summer. He just went up a fucking stair master and was like, yeah. Everest equivalent. So I'm doing the math in my head.

Mount Everest is 29,000 feet high. Yeah. No, it's, yeah. That's the math you're doing in your head. Well, if you could shut the fuck up for a second Hank, I'm doing the math and I'm saying if it's 29,000 feet high, that means it's five and a half miles. Yeah.

He walked five and a half miles. Yeah. On like a slight incline. In probably pretty temperate weather. Oh no, it was, he had his shirt off. Okay. So he walked, yeah. He spent a great day outside.

Yeah. It was, it's whoever came up with this idea, I guess kudos to them because they found a way to like, just get money out of people for being like, come to our hill in Utah and we'll just give you a medal saying that you went on an Everest equivalent. Everest equivalent. That's, yeah.

I'm going to throw a flag on that, Andrew. Yeah. Everest equivalent. I've run many marathon equivalents. You can do the K2 equivalent by buying like 30 breaks of, of gas station weed. Yeah. I beat Joey Chestnut's hot dog record equivalent

in my life. Yeah. Billy ran the Boston marathon a grit week. Yeah, he did. That was equivalent. Yeah. But that actually was, he actually ran a full marathon.

Right. Non stop. I took a couple of breaks. Yeah. That's okay. I actually, That was impressive. That was impressive.

It was. Honestly, that was the coolest thing that you've done, I think. Ever. That was, your life has gone downhill from that moment. Billy's built different. And I actually kind of overshadowed it

with the Buster Posey poll like right after. And the Mario Party reversal. Yeah. The Mario Party reversal. So yeah. It was the third coolest thing that happened that night. Still very cool. We're all really cool.

Yeah. Okay. Billy, your hot seat, cool throne. My hot seat is tourists. It's the summer. A lot of people traveling and with it, a lot of bad tourist stories. So number one,

we had an American tourist who fell into a volcano in Italy. Same volcano that destroyed Pompeii. Really bad look for tourists. He was taking a selfie and fell into the volcano. Yeah. That is he okay? He's decent. But that's a tough look.

It sounds like it was a Vesuvius equivalent. Wait, he didn't die? No, he didn't die. So then he didn't really fall into the volcano. Exactly. They got him out there. He tripped on a mountain. Was it lava?

I mean, he went down. I think he got burned on the rocks. It made him friction, but he still fell into a volcano. He scraped his knee. No, no. No. If you fall into a volcano, you're dead.

He fell pretty far. You need to be evaporated. If it's not molten lava in the bowl, then it's not. That's not a volcano. I agree. Also, tourists keep getting murked in Yellowstone by the bison.

They try to pet them and they're just getting thrown. Like, rodeo style. Yep. He got rescued. This guy didn't fall into a volcano. Okay, it was a Mickey Mouse volcano. It certainly was.

Also, he was trying to recover his cell phone, which I actually, like, yeah, you gotta go for that cell phone. And you can't leave that. Right? I would rather fall into a volcano than have to deal with the Apple Store. That's a fact.

That's not even a real volcano. It was, maybe there was smoke on it. Maybe. I don't even think there was. I actually, I pulled up. You could probably say every big mountain out there is the volcano that took out Pompeii. I pulled up the website

for the Everest equivalent thing. It's crazy. Here's how they describe it. We rent a private mountain and build an all-inclusive participant village with bands, bonfires, food, drink, recovery lounge, and everything else. You can brag about this.

It's more impressive to survive Burning Man than it is to participate in this Everest equivalent. They're glamping Everest. Yeah, it's cultural appropriation. It's fucking crazy. Everest is also kind of glamping nowadays. No, I mean, but that actually makes it worse for him because Everest is not even cool anymore.

Everyone climbs Everest. I remember when Everest was like, oh, don't climb Everest, you'll fucking die. Now everyone fucking climbs Everest. There's like huge lines. Yeah. My cool throne is the US dollar. For the first time in a long time,

it was equal to the Euro. Fuck yes. Which is like, I don't know if that's good or bad, but I always hated how the Euro was worth more. No, it's good. It's good. It's really good. Yeah, we rule.

My hot seat, adult autograph seekers. Yeah. We had a crazy incident today at the red carpet, all star entrance party, whatever it was of this guy just towering over little kids trying to get the Sharpie. It was a wild video. I don't, I would actually, I actually want to say right now, I would like to have an adult autograph seeker on this show.

I want to interview an adult. Don't we have one in the office? Yeah, we got a couple. We got a couple, right? Steven and Jerry, both, yes. Frank. Frank as well. Oh, yeah.

We know several. Yeah, we do know. Now that I'm thinking about it, we're just a company full of adult autograph seekers, but I would, I'd like to interview someone who's like, proud of the fact that they're a scumbag. You know what I mean? Like, I will elbow a kid we've had.

Who? Hample. No, that's different. He's catching foul balls. That's art. I think he gets him signed sometimes too. I'm pretty sure he has a collectible. I think he's somewhere in this show to do perfect.

Like, there's a lot of hate on this show, but everyone else really, really hates it. Oh, people love Zach Hample. I don't know about that. Little kids do. I think Jake's way off on that too. No, kids do. Really?

I think the world is sick of Zach Hample's bullshit. No, no, no. He's right, kids do, because they watch his videos and are like, oh, this is how he can catch foul balls. I see him at games. Little kids are screaming for him. Yeah, he's like the Pied Piper. Little kids like him.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's like, you're perfect. Little kids, okay. Yeah, I guess that's fair, but he gets a lot of shit. But I want the guy who little kids hate, because you see that guy, like Fat Tony's coming, and he's going to fucking squeeze everyone out. I almost, in a sick way, respect the shamelessness

of the adult male autograph secret, because they go with their suitcase. If you've ever been to Radio Row, when they have all the old timers walking around doing interviews, they set up in their sad little fan area, and they bring four suitcases with them. And then they're like the guy in Oliver Twist that runs the orphanage.

They get little kids to run out with their merchandise to get the autographs for them and bring them back. Meanwhile, they're like chain smoking newports, waiting for these kids to get back. I want that guy. I want that guy on our show. The sleaziest of the sleaziest. And I respect the confidence that they must have

in themselves to be like, yeah, this I'll make my money. Yeah, whatever, do it. Yeah, I want to interview that guy. I want to pick his brain. My cool throne is Toys R Us. It's making a return inside Macy's stores for the holiday season. Oh, hell yeah.

From nostalgia. Toys R Us kid. Backwards are pretty sick. You're the kangaroo. No, the giraffe. Draft. Jeffery. Jeffery the giraffe.

Yeah, so that's exciting. Yeah, that is exciting. They had a great jingle too. I don't want to grow up. I'm a Toys R Us kid. I'm gonna stick a dynamite and look what I did. Yeah, they went bankrupt in 2017, but slow comeback. Nice.

Blockbusters next. Retail, baby. I want to buy Blockbuster stock. There's still one open in Washington. It's in Oregon, yeah. Jake is right. I'm watching a vlog and there's like 1,000 kids. Yes, he is the Pied Piper.

Because think about it, if you're like a 10-year-old kid and you can watch a how-to video of catching foul balls, that's awesome. That is awesome. And Zach Hample's not a bad guy. Like he's a nice guy. So I'm a free Zach Hample. I don't know, he's not locked up.

But if he ever were, I would say free him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trading for Britney Griner. Free him. No. Yes, easy. Imagine how many foul balls Britney Griner could catch.

She doesn't know the good spots. All she has to do is watch the fucking vlogs. We'll take him down. All right, let's get to Ray Romano. Then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore spoilers. There will be spoilers. And we'll finish up with guys on chicks before we do that. eBay.

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Shout out eBay. OK, here he is, Ray Romano. Ooh. OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is actor and amateur golfer, maybe pro golfer, Ray Romano. Fresh off of his appearance at the American Century Championship last weekend at Tahoe. Let's start there, Ray, because we're

going to talk about the acting. But how's your golf game? And were you happy with your performance over the weekend? I played in that tournament this my 18th year. And I'm very anal. I keep charts. I keep a record of every, you know, it's three rounds there. And I keep a record of every round and what position I come in.

And there's usually about 85 guys in the tournament. And you know, most of them are world, I don't know how much familiar you are with the tournament. But they're all, it's pretty much all athletes. There's maybe, I don't know, 15 to 20 people from the world, the entertainment world, you know? So my goal is to try to, you know, I suck. But my goal is to try to beat as many guys as I can.

You know, you get a big thrill out of beating a Super Bowl winner or an MVP. And golf can do that. Golf is the great equalizer, you know? And the best position I've come in is like 58th maybe at 85. So my goal this year was I want to crack 50. And I also want to, I also want to still come ahead of Charles Barkley, because Barkley's getting better,

you know? Yes. And I didn't crack 50, but I did just squeak past Barkley, you know? I came in like 71st place, but I'm a 13 handicap, you know? But I really, it's a grind, because I take it seriously. I really want to do well. My kids come, they've walked the course with me.

And, you know, you hit a bad shot. And the hard part about that tournament is, it's not hard, but the gruel of it is, you know, the people are there to have fun and watch you, and they don't care about your golf. And if you hit a bad shot, you know, they just want you to smile and tell a joke. And inside, you're dying inside, you know? Because you're grinding, and you got to put that smile on

and have a funny little thing quipped for them. And I get it, because without the crowd, we're not there. But boy, it's a grind for three days. But anyway, the long answer is, on a scale of 1 to 10, for my golf, I played about a six this weekend. OK, so who is the guy that you beat that you were like, I beat that person? Or maybe you could do it for the history of you playing

in the tournament, where you can walk away and be like, I beat him. I mean, the first day, I did fairly good for myself on the first day. And I was in, like, maybe 59th place on day one. And I beat a lot of the actors. I beat Miles Teller. I beat Larry the Cable guy.

You know, I just, I played with Brian Baumgartner. I didn't beat him. But I tied with Coach Vrable from Tennessee. Yeah, good friend of ours. Yeah, Ivan Rodriguez, on the second day, I was matched up with him. And I was five points ahead of him when the day started. But he actually beat me by the end of the day.

I was ahead of Marcus Allen. I mean, I have to look at the charts. But there was a handful in there after day one that I was ahead of. And then I didn't do his great day two. I dropped. I was still ahead of Barkley. Like I tell you, last year was my worst year ever.

And I'm pretty sure Barkley beat me last year. Yeah. What's that like for Charles Barkley? Because I assume that everybody else that competes in the tournament has that same thought. It's like, I can't lose to this guy. Does he take that personally? By the way, I like Charles and I are friends, man.

I'm not trying to diss him. And he grinds it as fun as he is to be around and watch him and play. It's serious. I don't know if you guys have you guys talk to him? We haven't had him on yet. We have him on. He's a dream guest, for sure.

I mean, I appreciate the fact that he loves golf so much. And he's been very, very public about his struggles with his own swing and how he's been working on it. You know what it is. You know what it is with his swing. Because at one time, he was like a single-digit handicap. And it's a mental hitch with him. Like some athletes get that.

I remember, I don't know if you guys might be too young, but Mackie Sasser, he was a catcher. And he had a hitch when he threw it back. Chuck Knoblock. Chuck Knoblock. Yep. Yep. He had a hitch when he threw it to first.

And he got this mental hitch. You've seen it, right? Yes. Well, he freethes and then goes. But the weird thing is, on the range, he doesn't do it. Wow. Yeah. It's a smooth swing on the range.

And he got out there. But now, somehow, because everybody tried to cure him, hey, can't he try to cure him? He went to hypnotist. He went to everything. He was there one year at the tournament. And he played with glasses that had tape over them. Like a horse with binders.

Yeah. Yeah. So he couldn't see the ball. So his mind wasn't on the ball, you know? He's tried so much. The hitch is gone now. Wow. We'll say that.

The hitch is gone. So now, he didn't come. He came like 10 or 12 people this year, which he normally never does. Yeah. So what's that like for you as an amateur golfer and for some of the other guys out there when you're in a tournament environment and there are fans nearby.

And they have fans that are lined up next to where you're going to be hitting your shot. Like it's on the PGA Tour, and there are no danger whatsoever. But I have to imagine that thought creeps into your head, like these people are a little bit too close. They think I'm much better than I am at golf. Well, they don't get that close for us. But I'll be honest with you.

This was probably the first tournament in a long time that I haven't hit somebody. I'm not kidding. I mean, it's not funny. I put a woman in the hospital three years ago. It was the second hole, and I was, I don't know, 140 yards out. And 150, I don't know. I hit a nine iron, and I kind of thinned it a little,

so it wasn't going that high. And it was going, people were by the green. And we yelled for, we yelled it loud. And then I didn't know what happened. We yelled for, they scattered. And then we just, me and my catty were walking up to our ball. And when we got there, there was a woman on the ground,

and people were around her saying, stay awake, Patty. Stay awake. They were telling her to stay awake. I mean, she was almost unconscious. She got hit right here. Oh my god. And the paramedics came. They had to take her to the hospital.

It wasn't like she was, it was life threatening, because when she was on the ground, her friends came around, and I came by, and I said, oh my god, I'm so sorry. But she was flat on her back. And she looked up and said, can you take a picture with me? And I laid on the grass and took a picture flat on her back. Yeah.

That's fantastic. I had to, I felt so bad. I sent her stuff. I sent her a certificate for the spa and everything. And I saw her next year. Next year she came back. But boy, yeah, they don't stand as close as they do in a PGA. But I have black people, man.

That's funny. All right, so before we talk about acting and what you got going on right now, another sports topic. You're a die-hard Jets fan. Sorry about that. Have you kept up at all with what your quarterback's been into the last few days? No, but I bet my kids would know.

But they're sleeping right now. But why? What happened? Well, there's a story out there that your quarterback, Zach Wilson, so it goes that his ex-girlfriend from college is now dating his best friend from college. And then people were making fun of their relationship. And the ex-girlfriend came out and said

that Zach Wilson actually slept with his mom's best friend. So it's quite the story. It's quite, it's all legend. But it's quite the story. I got to think, though, now that you know this instant reaction, you got to think like, this is good for the Jets. Because PFT said it perfectly two shows ago when you went from Sam Donald having mono, which

is the lamest controversy ever, to now your quarterback is potentially having sex with his mom's best friend. So it's good because it gives him some coolness? Yeah, I think in the locker room, you have to have like a little more like, it's one of those situations where you see Zach Wilson. He looks like he's 17 years old, right? Yeah, he looks like a kid.

And now you see him and you're like, I didn't know he had that in him. Good for him. There's something about that guy that I like now. Yeah, look, I like him. Even if he was a virgin, I would like him. I just want him to play well, man. Everybody, I became a Jet Fan after 69,

which was when they won the last time they won. So it's been a long, long time, man. And I passed it down to my kids. And they are even more fanatic than I am. I have twin boys. And I mean, they do the jerseys, everything before every game, they have, I remember they were like,

I don't know how much of a story you want now, but they were like 13 years old and we were watching, there was Jets Against Miami. And you could tell that the Jets were gonna blow this game. Like you could just feel it. And they had a lead and we were watching right here in my office, right behind me.

And I knew if they've lost this game, these boys were gonna have a hard time with it. And I told them, I warned them. I said, listen, I don't want any tantrums. If this goes the wrong way, I want no tantrums. Sure enough, last play of the game, boom, they lost. They both hit the floor. Like they both went prone on the floor, hands like this.

And I stood up and I yelled, I said, what did I tell you? What did I tell you guys? And they wouldn't move, they wouldn't move. I couldn't take it, so I had to leave. I left the office, I left this room right here. I came back 45 minutes later. They were in the same exact spot.

They had fallen asleep. They fell asleep like that with their jerseys on and down. So we live and die by that, you know? And we're crossed on our fingers because we had a good draft, but you never can tell. Yeah, I feel like the Jets have won in off season like five out of the last six years. And that never really does anything.

Yes, but we'll never give up. I'm a Yankee fan too. I grew up in Queens, New York, so I should be a jet Met fan. But for some reason, my older brothers started rooting for the Yankees. So I rooted for the Yankees too. So I have experienced winning.

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, there's a lot of, because we're based in New York now and there's a lot of, I feel like the Jets, Yankee fans get a lot of shit because it's like those don't go together. Like you, one side of you is an all time winner and one side of you is an all time loser.

It's gotta be weird, like different seasons. Like you know what it's like to be the cock of the walk. And then you also know what it's like to be just the saddest franchise ever. It's like being an actor. You love yourself and hate yourself at the same time. You know, Sandler, Adam Sandler is a Yankee jet also. And we have that in common.

Yeah. If you could look back at your fandom rooting for the Jets, what is the happiest you've ever been? Is it the Sanchez years? Well, I go back even further than that. When they were 10 and 0, I don't know. I mean, this is again, you guys might be too young. When Ken O'Brien was at quarterback

and they went 10 and 0 to start the season. And boy, we were loving that. But then they lost the last six games but they made the playoffs anyway. They lost the first round and then won the second. Yeah, the two years at Sanchez, they were in the playoffs and they got to the championship game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that was close. That was close enough. It's all sadness, though. It's OK. I do think there's something about rooting for a bad team, though, that I don't know if it builds character, if that's the right thing to say. But it gives you a little spice in your life.

You can't get too comfortable. It's good to have something that you're always mildly annoyed with. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I compare it to, again, I'm not going to toot my own horn here, but I got nominated for the Emmy four times in a row. I didn't win. I won on my fourth try. But every time, every year, it was exactly what I needed.

I got nominated. So I got there and I got the attention of being nominated, but I lost and I need to feel like a loser also. So that's kind of like what it is. You want to win a little, but if you win it all, then what? Right. Yeah. Right.

And then when you lose, yeah, no, it's true. Like, the teams that win, this is actually just sad, because now we're just like, PFT's a Washington football fan. I'm a Bears fan. Like, we're just now excusing away our terrible franchises, where it's like, yeah, we actually, you know what? It's better not to win. It is good.

Because like, what if you win and then you lose the next year, that would suck so much. Like, I'd rather just never win. Well, but also like, one of my good friends here is a Patriot fan. And I ask him, what, I mean, is it fun for you? Because you just win over time. And then so what's the big deal if you win another one?

Yep. Yeah. Also, having expectations sucks. Like, I prefer to just have like zero to look forward to. And then any, if we go seven and nine, or I guess seven and 10 now, I'm ecstatic. I'm like, what a season. That's incredible.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You want to be the underdog. I always like being the underdog. Yeah, yeah. And I always tell, whenever anybody's coming to see me perform or whatever, I just tell them, lower your expectations, man. And then you'd rather go perform above what they were

expecting. It's like a movie. When you go to see a movie and it's hyped up and it's got 100% on rotten tomatoes, it never lives up to it. Right. When it's overhyped, it can never live up to it. So I like to underhype everything.

So that's why when everybody's talking about the Jets and the draft they had and how all this year is going to be good, I'm like, calm down, man. Yeah. Calm down. Yeah. We've been there before. But you know, listen, my hopes are up a little bit this year.

Yeah, they should be. Especially now that I heard about the court about it. Yes, yes. Your sons definitely have heard of that. So you've done everything in your career. Obviously, everybody loves Raymond. Is it weird having that, even though it's been so long, having that be the thing that everyone remembers you first

by? Because you have had such great roles in a lot of different things and done so many different things. I would imagine you were actually kind of genius to have your name be Ray in the show so that it blends in real life where people aren't calling you some fake name all the time. Right, right.

I didn't want that title, though. If we're going to talk about that, I fought against that title for the show. My manager told me, you've got to have your name in it. Because just for the reason you said, but there's no way I wanted everybody to loves Raymond. The title came about by my brother was a New York police officer.

And he wasn't jealous of me, but he would kind of jokingly make fun of my life compared to his life. And he would come in and see whatever, some award I got or whatever. And he would say, look at this. I go to work and people shoot at me, people spit at me. Raymond goes to work and everybody loves Raymond.

So that's an exact quote from my brother. And when I told the guy that was writing it with me, he said, well, we got to put that in. We'll use that as a title. And I said, I don't want that as a title, man. I'm never going to be able to live that down. Who wants, as a comedian, you're kind of self-deprecating anyway.

You don't want to put that focus on yourself. And he said, ah, we'll use it as a working title. That's all. When it comes time, we'll figure out what title we want. And then CBS saw it as the working title. And they fell in love with it. And then I had to try to convince Les Moonves at the time not to use that as a title.

And he said, come up with 10 different titles. And I'll test them. That's what they do. They test them in front of an audience, which is the worst thing. And I still have the paper. My manager has the paper. I came up with the lamest sounding titles.

Like, one was, you know, that Raymond guy. One was, um, Raymond, UM, um, Raymond. And I had all these titles. And he tested them. And he says, everybody loves Raymond, test it the best. And I was like, well, that's why we shouldn't use it. And listen, I'm like, I can't complain about it. It's done good by me.

But you know, you're right, though. Like on the golf course, it's all, we love you. Everybody loves you, you know? Yeah. Yeah. If it was so, if your name was like Tony in it, it would be weird because that never would be, you know, saying your character's name and not your real name.

So you've kind of done a perfect job on that. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, they do remember me for that role. And it was not easy when it was over to find other roles. But little by little, it was like baby steps. You know, I had to do one dramedy first, you know, and then another one.

And then I had to create my own show. And I got lucky, the biggest move to take me away from that people remembering by that was when I got on this show called Vinyl. I don't know if you guys saw Vinyl. It was a show about rock and roll in the 70s. And Scorsese, I sent a tape in to Addition. And Scorsese had never seen me.

This was the cool thing. He told my agent, he goes, I don't know who this guy is. Not that he didn't watch the show. He never even heard of me, which ended up being a blessing because he didn't have that character in his head that people had seen for nine years, you know? Yeah. He cast me in that in the show Vinyl.

And then he cast me in the Irishman. So that was like the big move, you know, for people to see me as something different at least. It's interesting. Like Scorsese thinks that he discovered you. I'll give him that. Yeah. Put this guy out of obscurity.

You also, I feel like Scorsese was like, wait, he's an Italian guy from New York? OK. I could use him. Yeah. And what happens is when you get in his little roll of decks, he uses you then again, you know? So I mean, when I did the show Vinyl,

I put myself on tape and we sent it to him. So he saw me doing the character. And he said, yeah, that's what I want. That's the character I want. But then when he cast me in the Irishman, he just cast me as this roll. He said, let's give it to Ray. And that was even more terrifying for me

because he hadn't seen me do that roll. And now I got to, you know, I don't know if I'm doing it right. I got to perform with De Niro and Pacino. And that was the most frightening part of my career that when I the first couple of days on that movie. Yeah. Yeah. One thing that's always fascinating me about sitcoms,

especially in the 80s and 90s is the laugh track or the live studio audience that you're performing in front of. Because I feel like sometimes if it's a live studio audience, you have a good one, you have a bad one. And if it's a good live studio audience, sometimes it can be too good and so good that it's bad because they laugh at too much and they throw off the pacing. It sounds like a laugh track almost, yeah.

Yeah. So what was that like when you were taping? Like with the studio audience, would you prefer to tape in front of the studio audience? Or would you prefer to use the laugh track? Well, the thing with us was when we started, nobody knew who I was. And you're filming in front of a live audience.

And it's in Burbank. And they have to, once you become popular, then people are dying to come watch the show. But in the beginning, nobody's coming to a show that they'd never heard of. And they have to round up the audience. And this is not a joke. They got people from rehab clinics and senior citizens.

And they would kind of bust them in. And they got paid. People got paid to come to the show. 50 bucks, I think, is what they used to get. So those first bunch of episodes were not good as far as audience reaction. Because our show was based on character. So when the mother comes in the room,

and she shouldn't be there, blah, blah, blah. But you have to know the character to know that. And in the first few episodes, nobody knows anybody. So we were having to just trust that the material was funny. I think they might have sweetened those first couple, like the first half a year or so. And then once the show aired, people saw the characters and were familiar with them.

The audience just started to get a little better, a little better. And then when somebody came in a room, the tension was there already. And after a while, we didn't have a laugh track. And people would accuse us of using a laugh track. But it wasn't because they just loved the characters and then they were laughing a lot.

Sometimes they laughed. Yeah, I mean, you hate to say they laughed too much. But sometimes, yeah, I know what you're saying. It would sound like you were gooseing it with a laugh track, but we weren't. Yeah, interesting. Like I said, you've done everything. I loved you in the big sick.

You've hosted SNL. You've done commercials, movies, everything. What's your favorite thing that you've ever done that maybe people wouldn't think of? Like that thing that you look back and you're like, maybe it wasn't the most popular thing, but it was the thing that you look back. You're like, that was the most fun.

It's probably a couple of them. One is a movie called Paddleton. Yeah, don't worry. No, nope, nope. I'm not even going to pretend. I heard of vinyl. I hadn't watched it, but I heard of vinyl. Paddleton.

Vinyl's on the list. Vinyl's on the list. Because vinyl was, I mean, Scorsese directed the pilot. Mick Jagger produced it. It was about the 70s rock and roll. We were record company guys. Bobby Cannavale, myself. And we got to do scenes, you know,

it was like going back in time. You're doing scenes with actors who were playing David Bowie, Elvis Presley. I got to have a threesome. I had a threesome. Congrats. Hell yes. Yeah, where's that going to happen?

I mean, it's make believe, but it's still, you know, there's not many chances. It was funny because Bobby Cannavale, I don't know if you know what Bobby Cannavale is, you know, Cannavale? Yes, yeah. He's kind of a stud, you know? And we became friends.

And I remember that week that I was filming that scene. And I asked him, I said, this is the one time I got pissed off at him. I asked him and I said, how many threesomes have you had in your life? And he went, he actually had to think about it. Which killed me. That's one number I would know exactly.

You know, it's like how many times I got struck by lightning. I would know the exact number. Yes. And I remember when I was filming it, by the way, it was, it sounds more fun than it was. It was quick and a very fast scene, but you know, you wear the sock, you know?

You wear the sock, you're not naked, you know? And I remember Bobby Cannavale did a full frontal naked scene in Boardwalk Empire. And when I was filming this threesome wearing the sock and in between takes, Cannavale comes over to me and says, because he comes in the scene later, you know? And he goes, bro, you don't gotta wear that for me. You don't gotta wear it.

And I don't wear it for me. I go, I'm not wearing it for you. He goes, because I don't wear it when I do my new things. And I go, I've seen Boardwalk Empire. I know why you don't wear it. I'm gonna wear mine. Yeah, that's gotta be very awkward thing to do. It's like just sex scenes in general,

because for everything I've read, it doesn't, you know, it's not an erotic experience for anybody involved. You've got the whole set there. No, no, it's nothing. I mean, it's weird. You got the, you know, the teamster boom guy right there with a thing. And, but, you know, for a guy like me though,

it doesn't suck, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I remember my wife, my wife made me explain to her, she was telling me about the scene, you know, when I did this, I go, it's nothing. I mean, it's over in a second of,

there's a woman sitting on your lap and there's another, but it was over in a second. And then I asked her, she flew home at that day when I was doing it. And I said, how was your flight? She said, it was okay. This guy sat next to me. He was an actor.

He gave me his card. And I said, what? What do you mean he gave you his card? She was, he knew that you were my husband. So I go, well, wait a minute. Well, who was he? How old were you? Yeah, he was in his 30s.

So now I'm getting a little, you know, pissed off. And I go, well, would you give him his card? What do you give you his car for? Be kind. I guess he wants it whatever. And I go, what was his name? And she was getting frustrated. And I go, she went, I don't know.

Well, you don't know his name. And she goes, she looks at me, she goes, what was the name of the girl that sat on your car? By the way, I'm sorry. Can we say that? Yes, you can say whatever I want. Yes. That's a great story.

Geez. But anyway, I would have to pick vinyl and Paddleton. Probably were the two favorite thing. Paddleton was a movie that Mark DuPlas, I don't want to say wrote, but he wrote the outline. It was an improv movie. So he would write the outline for each scene, but not no dialogue.

And we would just know what the scene had to be. And it was up to us to, you know, improv it. And it came out pretty good. People who do see it like it, but not many people have seen it. Okay. So watch it. So what's next for you?

What are you working on right now? I actually just directed a movie that I wrote. And it was at the Tribeca Film Festival. It's called Somewhere in Queens. It just gave you a quick summary of the movie. My son, he played, he's six foot five, my son. He played basketball in high school with the holiday brothers.

You know, Drew, yeah. Drew was just ahead of him. He actually played with Aaron, who are both in, well, you know, I grews in the pros and so is Aaron. Aaron's son, Philadelphia, I think. But I used to get a kick out of going, watching him play at my son.

And, you know, he was six foot five. So they made him a center because he was the tallest. And when that ended, I knew he wasn't going to play in college because he didn't, they taught him how to be a center and he had no guard skills. And that's, you know, in college at six foot five, you're a guard.

Yeah. So his career was ending. Yeah. And I got sad, man, because I used to like watching him. And I used to, I used to get attention, just sitting in the stands. And all this excitement was going to end. It was pretty pathetic actually,

because I don't get enough attention. I have to, I need this also. But I just thought, what if this was a poor schlub, a poor working class guy from Queens and his only attention he ever got in life was living vicariously through his son. And that came to an end. So that's kind of what the movie's about.

And it did well at the Tribeca Film Festival. So now we're trying to get it into theaters and we'll see how it goes, you know? I love it. I love it. And then, so I had, I had one last question for you. It's the Roeback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com use code take for 20% off your first purchase.

Q-Zips, Polo's great golf gear, Roeback. This has been awesome. We really appreciate you coming on. I also saw, are you playing Jim Valvano coming up as well? Because that's the perfect, like I don't know who, I think you're the only person, like if you close your eyes, you're like, who could play Jim Valvano? Oh, it's Ray Romano, like he's perfect for it.

So is that coming soon? Man, I hope so. Because I tried to get this going like 10 years ago. You know, I watched the documentary survive in advance. I don't know if you've seen this documentary. It's unbelievable. I lose it every time. I cry like a baby every time I watch it.

And yeah, Valvano, you know, he's from Queens. He, if he wasn't a coach, he would have been some kind of entertainer, performer, comedian maybe. He's got that persona, he's got that style and the way he, you know, motivates people and everybody. So I tried to get it going 10 years ago and it just fell through.

And just recently, another producer came in and said he wanted to try it and he has the blessing of the family. I actually spoke to the daughters, to Jim Valvano's daughters. And we have a writer now writing a script. Man, I hope, I really hope it does. I mean, how old can I be and play him, you know?

Yeah. He passed away when he was 48 years old. I mean, we won the tournament when he was 38. So that would be the, yeah, if I'm ever going to do a bio pic, it would be Jim Valvano and it would be an honor, you know? Yeah, you'd be perfect for it. Well, we appreciate you coming on

and we're going to extend the invite, you're a current guest now. So you have to come on whenever we ask, but we also will in return, let you come on anytime you want to vent about the Jets. So anytime you want to just come on and tell us how the Jets are killing you. Can I bring my kids?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. We are, we're sad sports fans as well and are pretty much the entire basis of our show is that we care too much about sports when we know ultimately it means nothing. So it is the perfect place to just motherfuck the Jets whenever you want to.

Well, I won't do that. Well, come on and talk, and my kids know, I mean, know every position, every player, every player that's going to be on the team and they'll have a lot of questions too, but I'd love to, I'd love to do it. How about I come on when they're winning? Yeah, yeah, come on when they're winning in 2030.

And yeah, yeah, that will be, you'll be dead, but do do us a favor and you got to, when your kids do wake up, because I know you're out in California, just be like, hey, heard Zach Wilson's got that dog in them and they'll be still be like, oh, damn, you heard? That's awesome. Yeah, no, they definitely heard about it.

I don't know why they wouldn't tell me about it. Maybe it's a weird thing to tell your father about it. Yeah, yeah, probably, probably. Hey, is this, this isn't live, right? No, this isn't live, no. Okay, so you can fix all this, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, tighten it up, man, because I ramble on a little bit. No, no, this is perfect. Yeah, just also tell your kids when they wake up that we asked for them to come on the show right now, but they were sleeping in. Yes, yes. So they couldn't make it on the show.

Yeah. Just mess with them a little bit. They wake up at the crack of noon. Yeah, tell them they missed their opportunity to come on, pardon my take. Just like, yeah, the guys were asking about you. I will tell you, they strongly told me that I have to do the show, you know?

I love it. Yeah. I love it. Perfect. Well, thank you so much, Ray. We really appreciate it. If you ever back in New York, you know, come by and do it. Let's do it in person for sure.

I am in New York. Where are you guys? We're in town. Yeah, we're right across from Madison Square Garden. Yeah, I have an apartment in the West Village, so we get there a lot. Okay. Oh, nice.

Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it in person. Let's make it official. We'll go to the Jersey Shore in two weeks. There you go. There you go. I'm in love with the show. Where are you going?

We go to LBI every year. You know, Long Beach, Iowa. I do, I'm familiar with it. Yeah, I recently fell in love with the show. I didn't know, I didn't understand what it was about because I grew up, you know, down in DC where we would, you know, we had our Eastern Shore thing. But I get the hype behind the Jersey Shore now.

It's fun. Yeah, I miss it. I miss, I like it better than the West Coast. I'll tell you that. Yeah. The West Coast Shore. I'm not against the West Coast. Yeah.

All right. Well, thanks so much, Ray. We really appreciate it. All right. Thanks, man. Ray Romano is brought to you by our great friends over at Mattress Firm. We live in a land of junk sleep

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or a Mattress Firm store today and speak with a sleep expert. Okay, let's do Mount Rushmore. We're gonna do the Mount Rushmore of spoilers. So there is a spoiler alert if you... Hey, big cat, spoiler. We win. Yeah, well, congratulations to us

on the last Mount Rushmore, nice dub for us. Team catcom. Common catcom dub. Yep, after Hank tried to besmirch ACDC, I think he came around and realized how wrong his take was. Yeah, shout out to me a hand up for it being accountable. Yeah, that's true. It's just a lesson.

I think that if we stay positive and encourage each other's choices, I think that actually makes your score go up because it can backfire like ACDC. Yeah, we just walk into a trap. Don't tell me how to run my team, please. Oh, shut the fuck up, Hank. Damn, okay.

Billy, how you feeling? Good, I mean, playing that ACDC just locked it up. Dude, I listened to ACDC yesterday and I was just like, this fucking band rules. The crazy thing is we left off probably 10 songs that could also qualify as kicking it up a notch. Yeah, but this isn't about us. We're not trying to run up the score here.

Jake, I want you to walk me through here. How did the talking and discussion go with Billy before today's Mount Rushmore? I'll be honest, some of it was my fault because I'm not good at movies and TV shows. So he said things that I had no idea what he was talking about. So he spoiled it for you.

Yeah, but realistically, I wasn't going to go back and watch some of these things. You've seen it with Hootie and the Blowfish. I'm just not good at entertainment. Entertainment in general. He doesn't know who Hootie is. Oh, I know. That was like two years ago.

Yeah, that was one ago. OK, so Mount Rushmore spoilers, who wants to go first? Or should we use the ping-pong ball machine? Let's do a ball. Yeah, OK. So closest to the ball decides the order. OK, what's your team number? 69?

You say 69? 69. OK. Well, cheers. What's yours? Well, cheers. Well, do we have to do a ping-pong ball to decide? Well, you guys won.

I feel like golf rules. You guys should have the honors. No, no, no, no. You, please, please. How about this rule first? You can't pick within 20 points, 20 numbers of anybody else in the group. I like it.

I like it. Our number's 22. 40. OK. Well, that's 18 away. Yeah, there you go. 42. Oh, wait.

30's got to go back in. That's a number we can win. That would have been ours, yeah. Oh, we got everything. Over 69. Yeah, you have 31. Yeah, I have the worst number. I think we have the best.

Is it on, Billy? Can you turn it on? Just, yeah. Oh, here it is. That was bad. No, that's fine. Wait, it's not moving. Oh, it took a while.

It took a while to, like, jake said, boom, she's rigged. 53. Oh, that's stupid. Hank, your team decides the order. We will go first. OK. Let's go first, Billy. Now, the only rule we're going to play with

is you have to have seen the whole show? No. Oh, OK. I mean, spoilers is a very broad one. That's not just about movies. Is it just movies and TV? Yeah, whatever you want. No, no, it could be anything.

But yeah, go ahead. What's your first pick? 1-1, I'm sure this was everyone's 1-1. RIP, my dog, Tony Stark. Yeah, we had that Shady McCoy, Spoiled Avengers, probably like the biggest movie of all time. Wait, he died? Everyone was freaking out.

Or no, it wasn't whatever the one before Endgame, but everyone was super, super. No one spoiled it. There was two weeks, period, where no one could say anything. And then he went to the movie and just tweeted it out. And the worst part was he did it on a Tuesday afternoon. He clearly went and saw it with his kids. He went to the sneak preview of it.

And the day that it was released, I think. I want to say he went on a Thursday night, and the main release was on Friday. And then he spoiled it during the day on Friday. Just all caps. RIP, my dog, Tony Stark. Yeah, he spelled it wrong. Yeah, he's like, fuck, killer.

Because it's also like, dude, that spoiler came from such a rate. No one thought, ooh, you know, when you want to go see some big movie, you're like, all right, I'm not going to talk to anyone. No one thought LeSean McCoy was going to fucking spoil it. Yeah, and all the nerds probably were like, all right, I'm going to mute these words.

Because he spelled it wrong. So if you were a real freak nerd that really didn't want to get spoiled, you could mute the words. You could mute the hashtags. He spelled it with a knee, like Tony Stark. And so it went through all the algorithms, all the muted words. Yep, there's actually a great spoiler.

That's on the Mount Rushmore of event, like, spoiling events, too. Yes, yes. OK, your guys' first pick. Darth Vader's Luke Skywalker's father. OK. All right, nice. That's a good pick.

We had that as well. All right, our first pick, we'll go with Hank. Tony killed Christopher. So you knew that. We had that as well, yeah. You did know that, right? Yeah, because you guys, you ruined the show for me. You ruined the show for listeners.

I think we saw someone recently that was like, oh, you know, I was, oh, no, it was Evan was telling us. He was like, I had to like, I was watching Sopranos and listening to the show. I had to like stop listening to the show. So you actually lost us, probably, listeners, revenue, all that stuff. Yeah, probably.

Just for your little jokes. I guess money is not, it's not the only thing for us. We do it for the love of the game. I wish we had more things to spoil. We could get down to zero listeners. Just spoil everything for the rest of our lives. He killed Christopher because Christopher was a junkie, got them in a car wreck.

Tony gets out of the car. He sees the child seat in the backseat. He's like, oh, no, you're a fuck up. I've got to give you chances. I'm going to hold your nose. Holds his, because he's like pretty much paralyzed. You can't move. And he holds his nose and his face.

And then Christopher looks at him like, you're doing this to me, Tony. You're like a father to me. How is Adriana's reaction? Oh, she was also dead because Sylvia killed her. Why? Oh, she was like an informant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew all this.

I knew all this. Yeah, the woman that she met that she thought was her friend, she worked for the FBI. Daniella. Was it Daniella? I think so. I think it was her, Daniella? Yeah.

They had a great relationship. They told each other everything. And you have to wonder if Christopher was still alive, would he have stopped Bobby Bacala from getting killed in the train store? Yeah, good question. I think he probably could. He would have been there.

Good question. All right, that's our first pick. Second pick. Second pick. This is an all-time one. Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze. Yup. Usual suspects.

Usual suspects throughout the movie. He's weaving the story, trying to throw the police off the scent of Kaiser Soze, saying, oh, we only deal with his lawyer, Mr. Kobayashi. And then it turns out the entire time that Kevin Spacey was faking, it was named Virgil. Yes, something. Virgil something.

The walk that he does at the end chills down your spine when you watch that for the first time, just an all-time reveal. Joe Montagno was the cop, and then he's looking around the room after Kevin Spacey leaves, and he's like, oh my God, all the stuff on the wall. Kevin Spacey has been weaving this into a story,

just trying to fuck with me. Slow motion, drops the coffee cup. Yup. Oh, shit. Great fucking movie. Great movie, great movie. And it's been spoiled, yeah. Now it's probably not that great of a movie,

if you know that. How should we do the graphic for this? You should do it. You don't want people to be. You should do it so it's like that sensitive content thing where you can put, you can blur it out unless somebody chooses to click on it. Ooh, yeah.

What are you gonna say, Billy? You might have to put like some pornography to make it actually get that. Yeah, we're gonna have to put some porn on the graphic. For sure. We're sending dick pics for us. Yeah, let's put your dick on it. Yeah.

All right, your guys next pick. We're gonna go with something a little more recent, because I've never seen the usual suspects. Don't spoil it. Yeah, I mean, it came out 100 years ago. Billy, don't worry about that. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, never heard about that movie before.

You probably weren't born. I wasn't. I mean, it's a fucking awesome movie. It's an all-time college movie poster up on your buddy's door in the wall. Oh my God, Hank, you're such a liar. It's insane. Okay, go ahead.

We're gonna go with The Red Wedding. Oh. Okay. What about it? Yeah. It's a huge spoiler. The Red Wedding. Yeah, the twist. What's the twist?

Everyone gets killed. Like who? All the people in the first season of Game of Thrones. Like who? First season. Huh? Isn't it the first season? Have you seen Game of Thrones?

What family? Wait, have you seen Game of Thrones? Dude, the guys of the board. Are you saying Google? Spoiler, who's the man? No, no, no. Who's the family that's murdered? Who murdered who?

I sort of almost, but it was a huge twist. This is our first by the way, Starks. Hold on one sec. This is our first Billy comeback episode of Trying to Get Out of a Lie. I'm excited for this. Let's go. Look, I've watched all of Game of Thrones.

It's the Starks. It's the Starks before Ned Stark becomes a main character. Don't remember the names of them, but they go Mary. Yeah, Ned Stark died in like the fourth episode. I think he died in the Red Wedding. No. Ned Stark dies then in the first season. Yeah, he gets his head cut off.

Dude, I like kept track of everything back when I cared, but then once I got a shitty ending, didn't really care. They stabbed the pregnant chicken or stomach. Do you remember the line? No, it's the line. The Lannisters send their regards. Oh, yeah, yeah, then they kill him. Yeah.

OK, it's a huge twist. That was a great night to be on Twitter, because the timeline, nobody was tweeting about what happened. It was just everybody being like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. You had a gif with the blood coming out of the doors. Yeah, I had no idea what was happening, because I didn't watch until two years ago.

But man, now piecing it together makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that was Game of Thrones spoilers as I was watching, because I watched it late as well. And that one, everyone talked about the Red Wedding. So when it was happening, it was a wedding. I was like, fuck, this is coming. It caught me completely off guard. When I was watching it four years after the fact,

it's still shocking when you watch it the first time. Everyone's like, oh, what episode are you on? And then if you're near that episode, they're like, oh my god. That is true. And everyone just explains. Yeah, they're like, oh no, you'll understand when you get there. It's like, well, thanks. Like what?

Yeah. OK, good pick. Hank, go ahead. We're going to go with keeping the fridge open. OK, a little unorthodox. Yeah, a little spoiler. Got it. OK.

It's going to spoil everything. That is, that is. It's going to have a lot of stuff in there. Probably paid a lot of money for all the food, condiments. It's all spoiled. Yeah, kitchen smells. Yeah, that's good. That's good.

And then we will go with Ed Snowden. Oh, yeah. He just spoiled all of the government secrets. Yeah, he did. He's a big time spoiler. He spoiled the surveillance, the deep state. Good guy or bad guy? Embrace debate.

Who's to say? I'm pro Snowden. I'm pro-den. OK, nice. John Snowden. All right, your guy's next pick. The guy in the sixth sense was dead the whole time. Good pick.

We had that too. Yep, we had that too. Bruce Willis dead. Yep, Hank, you want to say anything about that? That movie's very old. Extremely old. There's no way you've seen that movie. Well, I saw it a long time ago.

I know other M Night Shyamalan twists way better. But that was probably like the Hallmark twist. Yeah, it was the Hallmark twist. Yeah, it was. Shocked everyone. All right, so PFT, that one, this one, that one. Yeah, you go for it. You go for it.

I'll say the last one. OK, we're going to go with Ed Norton and Brad Pitt are the same guy throughout Fight Club. So at the end, when he shoots himself in the cheek, I never really understood that. He almost killed himself, shot himself in the cheek, but it ended up killing Tyler Durden, who is his alter ego. Right, we had that one too.

Yeah, is that OK in terms of how old that movie is, Hank? Yeah, that's a good one. That movie's a classic. Oh, OK. Oh, but usual suspects, not. No. Got it, OK. No.

I think they're both classics. No. They're both classic, for sure. They're both definitely classics. I think usual suspects was good in its time period and also Kevin Spacey, like, come on. Oh, you think we should have protected Kevin Spacey? No, I just think you're promoted.

What year was Fight Club? Probably 98, 99. 99, yeah. But that movie holds up. They know, but the themes of that movie, it's like young guys everywhere watch that movie being like, fuck, yes, that's me. Don't talk about Fight Club.

Yeah, like usual suspects. I don't know that it holds up if you show Billy and his classmates, usual suspects. They're probably going to be like, snooze fest. You show them Fight Club. They're going to be like, you know. Fight Club gets replayed all the time. Pops off, fighting each other.

So it's usual suspects. Yeah, it's everywhere. I never see usual suspects. I never heard of usual suspects till I started working at Barclay and, like, Dave would talk about it all the time. It's a great movie. You mean TikTok star, Dave Portnoy? Is that who you're talking about?

I'm sure his TikTok co-hosts. Huge among the preteens? I have no idea what usual suspects are. That's all right. All right, our last spoiler is. This one sucks to say, but it's when it turns out to be true. I expect everyone to respect this process. And even if we don't win, we win.

The Green Bay Packers won the 2023 Super Bowl. Congrats. So spoiler for the NFL season. Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl MVP. Yep, he did it. So when that happens, you guys will all remember that it was Team Catcom that picked that. Are you trying to spoil them from doing that?

No, it's just a fact that they're going to win the Super Bowl. They are going to win the Super Bowl. They're finally going to win because everyone's like, oh, shit. They're not going to do it because they've lost so many weapons. No, no, no, they built up on defense. And Aaron Rodgers is going to cement his legacy. And they're going to win the Super Bowl,

and that's going to be that. So that's a spoiler. Sorry to spoil it for you. You don't even have to watch the season. Billy. Billy thinks we actually know the ending of the season. He's looking at us like, what the fuck? He's like, I was really looking forward to this season.

God damn it. OK. When that does happen, I expect you guys to, even if we don't win this on the pole, we retroactively win it. Post mostly. OK, yes, yes. Billy.

Jake. What do you want? Harry Potter defeats Voldemort. No. And Billy is very upset. Billy is just upset because you said the word Voldemort. He's not even upset that you used the wrong word. Billy was an anti-that one, but I'm going to take a stand.

OK, I like it. I like it. You've got to defeat the bad guy. I've never seen any of the Harry Potter stuff. No, never read it. Books were better. Yeah, I don't understand what's so bad about that. That's the biggest spoiler of the whole series.

I know. No, no, the biggest. Snape was a good guy. That's the one. That's what I wanted to do. Do you want that to be your last pick? No, no. No, dude, that's what.

Yes. I didn't read the books. That's all. That was a much bigger. Yeah, that was a much bigger spoiler. Oh, well, the hand is off the chess piece, so. Oh, we'll see. Good pick.

Thanks. OK, go ahead, Hank, finish this off. Our last pick, we are going to go with the 2009 Magic. They spoiled a Kobe and LeBron finals. Oh, yeah, that's true. That did happen. That was a big time spoiler. Big time spoiler, big time let down.

Yeah. That was a good team, though. I like that Magic team. But that might have been Dwight Howard's flop era. That was Dwight Howard's last year of being like this guy could take over the entire league. Yeah, cool guy Dwight. Would you say that the North Carolina Tar Heels 2022

were a spoiler? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I would say so. Spoiled Coach K. Yep, spoiled his entire legacy. They spoiled their own championship run by Los Angeles. I mean, that doesn't, no one remembers. I don't even remember who won.

Who wasn't Villanova, probably. Yeah, no one knows. Oh, Mario, what did we miss? Honda Accord. Yeah, we had weird spoilers. I was going to do Paul Walker's and the spoiler on this super. That would have been good. Eating a snack an hour before dinner.

Yeah. That's a big spoiler. Amber Heard. What about her? Spoiled the sheets. Oh, nice. Grandparents in general. Yeah, they spoiled everything.

Spoiled you Rotten. Yep, Ford Mustang GT. Yep. Maggie shot Mr. Burns. Mm-hmm. The mother was the doctor. Yep. That old riddle.

Yep. Yep. Michael Scott. That one still makes no sense to me. Michael Scott outing Oscar. Yeah. Yep. The rat at the end of the departed, it symbolized a rat.

That's true. That is true. People forget that. They do. Oh, the betrayal in Braveheart. Yeah. Oh, speaking of betrayals. Wait, what betrayal in Braveheart?

The... Remember when the kings got land for siding with the English? Yeah, the Scottish. Is that the beginning? They sold out William Wallace. Yeah. No, at the end. They sold them out.

Fredo. Yep. Fredo being the, you know, he was behind the whole thing, the Hyman Roth situation. Oh, the end of Planet of the Apes. They're on Earth the entire time. Yeah. And he discovers the Statue of Liberty. He's like, oh, shit, the Planet of the Apes is actually just the Earth and the future.

That's a good one. Is that the most recent one? No, that's the old one. Yeah. So it doesn't count for you. No, I was thinking, I was like, I love the new Peter Churnin Planet of the Apes. Yeah. Yeah.

They're coming out with a new one. Really? Yeah. I love that series too. I think that they haven't gotten to that point in the new series. Yeah. Great, great movies. What are you going to say, Jake?

Brown's losing week one. There's always lose week one. They haven't won since 2004. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. That's true. They tied a revenge game. Yeah.

They tied a few years ago in 2018. They haven't won since 2004. Damn. It's a spoiler. They're going to lose. They are going to lose week one. Yeah. I mean, Jacobi Berset's going to be their quarterback.

Yeah. So I would say they're probably going to lose week one. That's a good spoiler, Jake. This one's an old one, but the call is coming from inside the house. Stephen King novel. Yeah. What about the dead guy on the floor at the start of Saw? That's actually in a live person and he's the killer throughout the entire movie,

but he's pretending to be dead. Yep. Have you seen Saw? Jake Saw? No, I don't like scary movies. I read the Wikipedia synopsis, so I don't have to see the scary parts. Nice. It's better than watching it.

Yeah. Hank, I apologize for this next one because it's a movie that was made in the 90s. So ancient history, but Edward Norton in Primal Fear was acting the whole time when he pretended that he had learning disabilities. Great movie. Great fucking movie, but again, 90s. So probably not. Yeah, like I never gonna watch it.

Oh, law abiding citizen. The guy's escaping from jail and doing all the murders. Wait, I never saw that one. Yeah. Sorry. That's okay. It's a great movie. Great movie.

Yeah. I don't care. That's fine. Titanic goes down. Mm-hmm. That was a big spoiler. I was shocked. Yep.

That was, I was thinking it was going to go a different way. Yeah, Rose is such a bitch. Yeah. We all die. That door, that door is big enough for the two of them. Yeah, the sun will eventually engulf the earth. Yeah. Yeah.

No one, no one's going to just live forever. Spoiler. The water is the aliens kryptonite. Oh. Other M Night Shyamalan. Shyamalan. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. That's a great movie. That was his last good movie. Was it not? Signs? Yeah, because after that there was, what, the village? Yeah, he just fell off the cliff. I never saw it.

Lady in the water was sneaky a good movie. Really? Zero respect. He just fell off. I liked that one a lot. I have to tell Kennedy's story. No. OK.

Any others? Any others we can think of? What? Oh, what do you got? What do you got? What do you got? What do you got? Spoiler.

Spoiler. What do you got? What happens at the end of Peaky Blinders? I'm not saying. No. Not going to say. You can say what happened at the end of the last season. You can't.

There's a movie coming, so it's not. The story's not complete. No, I'm not going to say it. I want to. You're doing this to me, and I don't want to know. Well, there's another one. We've done a good job of only doing spoilers that are old stuff.

I don't want prehistorically. Yes, I don't. You can do it. What about last season? No, no. Let people because people are actively watching it right now. But this, but OK. If you say it, I'm going to say what happened

at the end of this season just for you. There were six episodes in the season, right? Yeah. OK, then I watched it. You did? Yeah. Don't do it. Well, not the last season.

Wait, what season was that for season five? Oh, yeah. See, now you got to you got to bleep that out. You can't. Yeah, we got to take that out. We can't. We can't spoil peeking. Okay.

People are literally just watching it for the first time. But yes, T-Man 2016 was a big spoiler. What's that? Spoiled the. Huh? What? You can say it for the for Hillary. Oh, oh, man.

You're calling Trump the T-Man now. Got it. You can say it. Have you been hanging out with Rico too much where you're just doing code words? No. Yeah. T-Man 2016.

I don't think I've ever heard it that way. The way that you phrased it, I thought it was like a Terminator movie. Yeah, me too. OK, so Mount Rushmore spoilers. Good job, guys. I'm sure we missed some and it's going to suck to see them all on Twitter.

Oh, yeah. I actually didn't think about that. We're just going to get all the replies that are just going to ruin everything. Fuck. I've seen everything. I'm fine. Yeah.

There's that. Listen, I'm pretty good at shows. I'm up to date on most of them. Yeah. If you're not up to date on a show, you can't complain if it's spoiled. Like you got to be on top of your shows. Yeah, I think there's always like a few months

like when a show comes out that people get. But old movies, come on. Either like that's just or just don't even listen to this entire segment. Just get ahead. We gave you fair warning. Yeah. And we're going to do a little blur on the picture.

Oh, Cam Smith. He's spoiled Rory. Yeah. We had that. Fitzpatrick spoiled Will Zalatoris. Yeah. The sting, the whole thing was a movie set. The sting with Robert Paul Newman and Robert Redford.

Yeah. Now that is an ancient movie. Yeah. But a great movie. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids. Oh, wait. What? That movie holds up.

Whoa, whoa. You watched that movie? Love that movie. Who about Rosebud? Rosebud was the name of his sled. Have you ever seen Cool Hand Luke? No. Unbelievable movie.

That's the egg challenge. He ate like 80 eggs. I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, you are. Yeah, yeah. I've seen that movie. That movie is a classic. Watch that movie.

Oh, Sharkshake, he gets out. Yeah, that's true. He does get out. He keeps the hammer in the Bible and gets out. Forrest Gump has AIDS. No, Jenny has AIDS. But Forrest Gump does, too. I don't know if he has AIDS.

No, he does. The whole movie? He's dead. Magic Johnson. What's he ever done? Yeah, clean. Big Magic Johnson. What has he ever done?

He got AIDS. All right, let's finish up with guys on chicks before we do that. We got one last sponsor. Yeah, before we get to guys on chicks, I want to talk to you about a great friend of ours. That's Shopify. That's right. Shopify.

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Go to Shopify.com slash take right now. Okay, let's wrap up with guys on chicks. Hank, you got some questions? I do. Hey guys, I'm going to a wedding this summer solo and my ex will be there with his new girlfriend. Uh-oh. How should I handle my anxiety? I'll be driving so can't get drunk.

Also, do I say hi or make him come say hi to me? All that stuff. Thanks. I think you got to start pre-gaming hard. Really take advantage of the time in between the wedding. No, not while driving, Billy. After the reception or after the wedding before the reception, you got to take advantage of the cocktail hour.

Go up there, first thing you do, $20 in the tip jar to the bartender and get two drinks for yourself and then don't say hi to him. Wait until Pony comes on and then really shake your ass and let him know what he's missing. And then here's the big piece. You follow the new girlfriend into the bathroom and when you're standing there and you're washing hands,

you just like ever so slightly just whisper, you know he liked it when I fucked him in the ass and then walk away and just let that just fuck because that's just that's a conversation that has to happen. You got to make it awkward for them. Yep. Something like that where it's just like, oh yeah, you know that he, you know, he liked to be,

he liked to have me choke him out to sit till he couldn't breathe. Just maybe wear his favorite color dress too. Yeah. And then let her know like that's, that was his favorite color. Yeah. And just, yeah, look as, look as hot as you can and just really because, because the girlfriend, the new,

the current girlfriend's going to know that you're there. He, he, she's going to know the whole story. So, yeah, make it as miserable for them as possible. Maybe, just maybe have like a, just run through all the, all the groomsmen. Maybe just see how many you can get through over the course of a nice weekend. Just real quick, just nice and quick.

Hey dad cat, not a drug guy, PFT, third floor Hank, darling Jake and the rest of the crew. Recently I've started seeing this guy who's a few years older than me. He's 23. I'm 21. We've gone on multiple dates, dinner, shopping. That's the most inconsequential two years.

That is, you, it says a couple. Yeah, a few years. It says a couple. It says a couple. No, I'm, it doesn't. I'm not, I'm actually not trolling. I'm happy you guys brought that up. I'll send it.

It does say a few. I'm dating a guy who's a few years older than me. Great. I wouldn't even notice that. She's making funny. Also, I played golf with that kid the other day. The kid at DM me. Remember I read the DM, like call, he made the point

that I was like, big cat said he has a few. Oh, that fucking loser? I randomly, like I just booked a tea time and he was like, I'm the kid that tweeted you the other day. Was he a loser? He was a great dude. No. Had the PMT golf head covers.

I like. Great guy. So it was you and him playing together? You suspended him. And he was like, how long am I suspended for? And I was like, I don't know. He's unsuspended. Great dude.

A few years older than me. We've got a multiple dates, dinner, shopping, ice cream. Yeah, but what are the chances of that? And hung out like 15 times. He's resuspended. He's a nice guy. And I really like him, but we've only made out. I'm a 21 student.

I'm a 21 student at UW Madison. So I usually get it in, but this guy won't make a move. So here's my question. Is he gay or a virgin? What can I do so that he makes a move? Or should I make the first move? Help. P.S. Big Cat, please speak at graduation this spring

so I can't deal with another scholar talking about their own accomplishments. Yeah. I don't think I'm ever going to get to speak at commencement. That would be funny though. I don't think they would ever allow me. I mean, you spoke after a big 10. Yeah, that's true.

Co-big 10. Co-big 10. Yeah, championship. I think there would be probably like, you guys fucking rule. But yeah, I'd probably do the same thing. I don't even know what I'd say. I'd be like, none of this matters.

Just give him a t-shirt can and send him on stage. It's like, you all wasted all your money. None of this matters. If you could take my advice, figure out a way to start a podcast and be successful that way. It's all downhill from here. So my best advice you would be, develop a crippling gambling addiction responsibly.

Lose your way to the top. All right. So she's got to just be like, fuck me. Yeah, maybe send some Snapchats or something. No, I think she's just literally going to say, fuck me. If that doesn't happen then, then it's, then I think you're on there. And you can get drunk and say,

I'm going out drinking and later on be like, we need to fuck. Yeah, right. And then if it goes south, sorry, I was so drunk. Right. He might just be shy too. Maybe next time you're out drinking with him, if it's just you and him, while you're at the bar together, just send him a text saying, fuck me while you're standing

right next to him. And maybe he'll just open up from that. Maybe he just a rod. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to say, Billy? He might be like a no premarital guy. There's nothing wrong with that.

I don't think those guys exist. No, they don't exist. You got to, here's what you got to do. Just ask him like, you got that dog in you? Yeah. Let me see that. I need a guy that's got that dog. Yeah, be like, let me see that little Chihuahua.

Does that Chihuahua bark? Maybe don't call it a Chihuahua. Let me see that Great Dane. That's a bar in Madison. There you go. That's perfect. Be like, let me see that Great Dane. And if he's like, excuse me, be like, I meant,

should we go to the Great Dane? I need that dog in me. Yeah. Right. I need to go get a beer at the Great Dane. All right. That's good. We got, we helped you out.

In terms of the hot slash crazy scale, is it easier to become more hot or less crazy? No. I feel like my ratio is off and I need to make some adjustments. So she's definitely crazy if she's asking us, right? Would that be a fair assumption or no? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Like you wouldn't ask that if you're really hot. She's too crazy for how attractive she is is what I'm guessing. Yes. She wants to be hotter because she's got the crazy down pat. I think it's, it's very easy to become hotter if you're a girl. There's so many tricks that girls can use. Like sometimes I'll see a girl and she'll have just these monster eyelashes on.

I'll be like, wow, your eyelashes are great. And they're like, well, they're obviously fake. Yeah, I can never tell. I have no idea. Yeah. I also think that if you see the problem is this, this is science that we're talking about, right? The hot crazy thing.

So she's crazy. She wants to get hotter. I think you just got to be crazier and your hotness will go up. Do you know what I mean? Like the crazier you get, the hotter you get. It impacts the score. Right. Right.

So just like a rising tide lifts all boats. I think that's just how it works. Maybe just start taking drugs and they'll either make you way more crazy or way less crazy. They might bring you down. And I think in either of those events, your hotness might increase. Right. She's got, she's trying to get to the regression line in the

middle. Right. The XY axis of crazy and hot. So I think you just got to get hotter. Who is that one guy who like went viral for that video that he made? Like, it was like probably 15 years ago when he made this, like the crazy hot.

I don't know who invented this. Yeah. I don't know who invented it, but I know like there was that one guy who did it on a YouTube and it was like, Holy shit, this is genius. What? Was it Tatro? I don't think so.

No, definitely not Jimmy Tatro. No. No. If it was, then we should cancel his ass. That'd be funny if we got him canceled. I think it might have been like a shit frat bro guys say. Oh, okay. It was Tatro.

It was Tatro. It was definitely Tatro. I don't want to see him ever in a courtside clippers game again. Cancel his ass. All right. Last two. They're kind of similar, but I'm sure they'll have similar answers.

Similar issues from these women. Hey, Dadcat, heart of the city, Hank, PFT, the pimp, and Jilly. My boyfriend has been screaming out, absolutely, like your D&D guy and it's driving me insane. How do I get him to stop or do I wait it out? I do. You just got to start asking him questions that he doesn't

know. Absolutely. You just got to start fucking with him. I hate to go back. But Tim says absolutely no matter what you ask. I hate to go back to the pegging thing, but be like, hey, we're pegging tonight. See if he says absolutely.

It's addictive. I think you got to ride it out. Tim Woods puts asses in the seat. Sounds like you'd be a great improv partner too. Yeah. The old yes and. Yes. Absolutely.

Similar question. Last one. Some fellows, my boyfriend keeps saying yes, chef, during and thank you, chef, after sex. It's starting to creep me out. How do I get him to stop? That's a good question. I like this one too.

Yes, chef. I don't think that you. That's a winning line. Yeah. It's just good manners in the Top Chef kitchen. Yeah. He's a chef testing. Saying yes, chef.

Thank you, chef. Make him listen to the Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. Let's flip them. Thank you, chef. Just start doing absolutely. What else do they say in the kitchen? I'm right behind you?

Yeah. Yeah. Just start saying I'm right behind you all the time. Are you using this burner? On your back. Yeah. Yeah. I need, yeah.

10 minutes. Oh no. Hands up. Well, that'll be good for sex. Yeah. Hands up. Chef. Chef.

Hands. Hands. Do you ever watch the Top Chef, the kids version? I don't think they make it anymore. It is the greatest show of all time because the kids just, they're children and they just cry constantly. Yeah. And it's so funny.

That's what I was pissed off about with Gordon Ramsay when he did his kids challenge. He toned himself down. Right. Like I want Gordon Ramsay to be like, you little twat. Yeah. Like just screaming at him. Top Chef kids, again, I think they stopped making it, but it was so, so fucking funny because these kids would just be like balling while they're making a hamburger.

Mm-hmm. And it was just so funny to watch. Isn't that the video where the kids crying while like that's the classic? It's like literally flipping a hamburger crying. It's just so, yeah, more of that. They need to bring that back. Bring, bring back Top Chef kids. Okay.

That is our show. On Friday we have George Nyang in studio. Great interview. We also have some great interviews coming up next week and reminder. Longest interview I think of the history of this podcast. No, Bill Walton was way longer. Yeah. Way longer.

It was like two and a half hours. Way longer. Top 10. On Monday was like an hour and a half. Great interview. And then remember reminder on Wednesday next week, the Takies, the 2022 Takies will be unveiled. Hopefully, hopefully people are subscribing and re-subscribing and unsubscribing and

re-subscribing, maybe listening on Spotify and iTunes. I would like to see us get bumped up before the Takies. Double dip. Double dip. Go for it. Double dip. Double dip. So yeah, we'll see then.

93. 39. 27. Hank, have you got, would you pick Hank? 20 seconds. 39. 33 is out. 53 is out.

69. I'm not one now. Why are you sitting 39? We did that last week. 91. Oh, so close. Love you guys. Squid's had the largest eyeball in the animal kingdom.

Bigger than elephants? Oh yeah, I guess that would make sense, right? The giant squid. Blue whale. Well, blue whales have tiny eyes. Do they? How tiny? Uh-oh.

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