Pardon My Take - Rich Eisen + NBA All Star Weekend

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

BA All Star Game recap, Kyrie and KD are best friends, and Anthony Davis is going to do something very nice for the city of New Orleans when he's traded (2:27 - 14:00). Defining the terms of the Hank has to adopt a Cat bet (14:00 - 21:11). Who's back of the week including Denny Hamlin and Johnny Cueto's dead horse (21:11 - 28:27). Rich Eisen joins the show to talk about his career, what the early days of ESPN were like, being the face of the NFL Network, why he's totally not mad about Ohio State beating Michigan every year, Game of the Thrones, and other random questions we decided to ask him (28:27 - 80:35). Segments include an Antonio Brown free agency update, the Bryce is Right, who won the trade Colin Kaepernick, shoe roast for Kawhi Leonard, and our review of the most fucked up Documentary you'll ever watch, "Abducted In Plain Sight"You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, we have the man, the myth, the legend Rich Eisen. You remember him from Sports Center back in the day. He's been the NFL Network lead host, the face of NFL Network. We have a very fun conversation with him, some real talk, and then also Rich did a fun thing where he kind of beat us to the punch and realized when we get to the end of interviews, we just throw shit against the wall and hope it sticks. So it got very fun there. We also have NBA All-Star Weekend, Who's Back of the Week, and we have been giving you homework for last week. Hopefully you have watched Abducted in

Plain Sight. There will be spoilers instead of a Monday reading. We are going to review it, and the review is what the fuck. Before we get to all that though, it's time to talk about the cash card from the Cash App, the number one finance app in the App Store. For a reason, the cash card is the most powerful debit card in the world and the only debit card with boosts, a money saving feature you can't get anywhere else because Cash App invented it. Just select a boost in your Cash App, swipe the Cash Card and save 10% or more at Whole Foods Shake Shack, Chipotle Taco Bell, Chick-fil-A Domino's, and coffee shops everywhere. If you want to go organic without paying for it, well guess what, you can save 10% on every bag of groceries with

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Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by our brand new YouTube page. How many more weeks do I get to say brand new? I think it's new. It's just a bit we do. No, that's what it's brand new. So we get to like 50,000 subscribers. All right, so we're over 20,000. Next goal is 30,000. Hank, what are you going to release? I mean, we have a lot of BVT footage. We had some drink paint footage. We're working on some new rap footage. So I think before our next rap song comes out, I'm going to put out like a full behind the scenes of drink paint. Okay, wait a second. We should do behind the scenes before we put the actual thing out. Yeah, revolutionize the game. Okay, we're going to get stuck again. Today is Monday. We're going to get stuck in time. I mean,

I already watched that fucking video where I found out that we are just a spec smaller than the spec. Yeah. Today is Monday, February 18th, NBA All-Star weekend. We are in it, boys. We are deep into February. NBA All-Star weekend. Team LeBron comes back. Amazing comeback by Kevin Durant to carry LeBron James to victory. And Damian Lillard hit some huge shots. And that's about it from All-Star weekend. I mean, I guess we can break that. I actually wrote down a few notes. You want me to, you want me to just fire off some notes? Yeah, I mean, off the top of my head, the dude broke the plane for in the slam dunk contest. Yeah. The jumped into a plane. Oh, yeah. Bird hitting Captain Sully's jetliner. Yeah. Hamidou Diallo stole the show by using

Shaq as a prop, which I cannot believe had not been used until Saturday night. Right. Shaquille O'Neal as a prop is an all-time prop because he is the largest human being ever. That's a fact. Don't look it up. And even though he ducked his head a little, I'm actually proud of entire Twitter universe not going well actually on the whole dunk because it was a cool moment. I'm a truther. He put his hand on his shoulder. Yeah, right. See, you're going to ruin it. Also, big head, he walked. They did say that, though, right before he jumped. They're like, he can't put his hand on his shoulder. He can't put his hand on his shoulder. I know. I know. But hear me out. The NBA dunk contest has not been good for a very long time.

This one was bad. We had the Zach Lavin one was the last good one, then the one before that was probably Blake Griffin. Overall, this one was bad. But if you have one moment where you're like, holy shit, it kind of serves its purpose. The announcer screwed them by saying that. They're like, literally the only thing he can't do is put his hand on the back and then he did it and was like, is that good? Still cool. We can embrace debate and say, like if those same dunks had been performed by superstars, we would probably think it was an awesome dunk contest. Well, yeah, that, that, I mean, Zion going next year's dunk contest will be incredible because Zion Williamson as a Chicago Bull doing

it in the United center is going to be an all time. And he's going to be fresh. He's going to have fresh legs because he's sitting at the rest of the year in college. Right. Exactly. A lot of bounces also Chicago Bull. Yes, exactly. They'll go ahead. So I also wrote down, Hank, this is for you. Did you see the team LeBron practice? Did you happen to catch any of the team LeBron practice on Saturday? You missed it. Well, let me give you a little recap. Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are in love, full blown love. They are, they were doing, they were like tickling each other. They were, they were horsing around a lot of horseplay. You just got to say New York Knicks. Interesting. Zion Celtics. He almost signed with the Celtics

a few years ago. Oh, you're going to get Anthony Davis. You're going to trade for Anthony Davis and then signed Kevin Durant. Anthony Davis or Kevin Durant. Got it. Maybe both. Interesting. That would be, that would be quite an off season for Danny Angel. Yes. We had a Dirk having air balls in the three point contest, which was kind of sad to watch. You know what? I was, when I was watching that, I was thinking to myself, how awesome would it be if Markel Fultz was in the three point contest? Yes. If it was like him and Ben Simmons. Yes. Just like, I need, the problem is the guys are too good. I want to see like, and Bobon just awful, awful attempts at shooting three points. All right. So I actually love the

three points contest because it's incredible watching these guys just be so, so good and like, so automatic. And I actually came across this thought and you could tell me how crazy I am, but I'm going to throw it out there. People probably get mad about it. If I could pick one for the rest of my life to be awesome at dunking or wet from three at all times, I think I would take wet from three. That's ridiculous. I know, I know. Big hat. As somebody who has dunked before, let me tell you, you don't, you don't realize how electric that feeling is to recreate that every day. I would imagine this. So what you're not thinking about is the fact that you would one day be like 65 years old with just serious bounce, just jamming on people, like dunking on your son.

I get it. Yeah. I get it. When you're like 80 years old and you're jamming on your son and your grandson, I get it. I get all of that. Being able to just like shoot like these guys can shoot now is it's incredible to watch. And I actually, I mean, just, just pulling up any time you're open. Think about this. Any guy in the NBA, like if they're open, they just make it. Yeah. Having that would be so incredible. So I think I'm going to do that. Yup. You know what? You know what? Also, one is like, you know, in a crazy world, if I, if I had a gym in my house and I could shoot 10,000 jumpers a day, I feel like I could get there. I'll never be able to dunk. You know what? Your brain has been poisoned by seeing an old dude in a gym one time. I guarantee

we've all had this moment where you see an old guy in a gym that's just stroking it from three. No, yes. And that is cool. But that guy is the alpha of that entire gym. Like there's no question about it. That guy is the man. But you, I think you are underestimating how cool it will be. But you just dunk on people as an old guy. No, it actually isn't that cool. When guys dunk in like pickup, everyone's like, all right, that's kind of like whatever, man. Like, cool. You did it. Like no one else can do it. You did it. Awesome. When guys jealous. No, but when guys, when guys can just shoot, I'm way more jealous of the shooters. When guys can just shoot and make everything all the time, they dominate every pickup game. It's fucking cool. But you

know what? You could be like a vigilante dunker. And if there's, if that guy shows up and starts showing off by like jamming on people in pickup, just jam on him harder. Okay. Two other things in my defense, uh, if you can shoot threes like that, you just have to run three point line to three point line. You never have to go in the paint. My body is starting to break down as I get into my older years of playing basketball. Can't handle the paint as much as I used to that. And the NBA is three and D now. You guys know that. That's true. So I've adapted to the NBA game. Yeah. Your skill set dunking is one. Layup counts as two. You know what doesn't count as two? A three pointer. Do you guys think that

it counts as three? Do you guys think that if dunks were worth one point, Giannis would still do them? Yeah, probably. I think so. I think the NBA should seriously consider that in the All-Star game. So you agree with me? He was just jamming on fools all game. How many dunks did you have? Sabrametrically, probably like a baker's dozen. And whoever got, God forbid, if you're the guy at the water cooler who bit the under on the NBA All-Star game. My last note from NBA All-Star weekend comes from Anthony Davis in the most ridiculous quote I've ever read. This is something that he actually said. Did you guys see this? No. I'm going to drop it to you first time so you can give me your knee jerk reaction. It's something that actually he said.

Pelkins, uh, Anthony Davis will leave something special just for you as he got exits. He said, Anthony Davis quote, I will always have love for the city of New Orleans. When that time comes, I'm going to definitely have a heartwarming message for them and put it out on Instagram like everybody else does. There you go, New Orleans. You're getting a note screenshot. Barry, the hatchet. He might even, he didn't notice, notice he didn't say he was going to take out a full page ad in the times, picky you know, but he might, he might, he might even go all the way there. But yes, Anthony Davis. Now I don't know if this was said in tongue and cheek, but it was absolutely said and, uh, that should fix everything. Right? Like, well, yeah, the problem

solved. No, no more anger. You guys listen, you might lose a generational talent who is only 25, 26 years old, but you're going to get a sweet, sweet Instagram post saying New Orleans is home and always will be. If you look at it numbers wise, I bet you would actually would cost more money to buy hit like a sponsored post from him on his Instagram page. Then it would to take out a full page ad in the times, picky you know, if you're in New Orleans, at least you've got the saints who have been really, really good at the post season the last couple years. So you guys are riding high. That's great though. I mean, look, if you're a Pelkins fan, you're probably really down in the dumps right now. You just fired your GM for incompetence, incompetence. I always say in

Frank, the tank's voice, incompetence. I thought that was Stephen A Smith. No, not being able to trade. No, it's the New Jersey. The New Jersey transit is incompetent. Um, but you have your franchises in shambles. You probably will move cities soon. You probably won't even have a franchise, but Anthony Davis got that. You could probably, you could double tap that, that beautiful Anthony Davis Instagram post when he gets traded to a contender eventually. Yeah, listen, I love the city of New Orleans. I've said many times it's probably my top two favorite city in the United States. Um, but are there actually number one, Cleveland, Ohio? Yeah, Cleveland. Okay. Actually, um, Youngstown. Yes. Number one, Cleveland two. Cleveland's really a suburb of Youngstown. When

you think about it, then New Orleans. Um, but like the fans that show up to Pelkins games, half of them just have to be like lost and drunk, right? Yeah. That's that. That's how most business gets done in New Orleans. Right. It's just people that happen to like stumble into whatever storefront you have. Dude, if the pelicans don't sit him for the rest of the year, they're so stupid because that, that would be the ultimate just having him get some kind of injury where like, come on, man, are you serious? You couldn't just sit him? Yep. Because you're trading him and I know like everyone will say, well, he'll bounce back from injury, but you're trading him for that last year where he's still under contract. And if he gets hurt and it somehow jeopardizes that,

that would be an unbelievable fuckup. Yes. By the New Orleans Pelicans. I agree. I had one more note about All-Star Weekend because Magic Johnson showed up just tampering with everybody who just shaking all the hands, pressing all the flesh. Um, I would just made a note. We as a society, don't talk about what a cool name Magic Johnson has. Yeah. Like that's really cool. His real one, too. Yeah. Irvin Johnson is awesome. And somehow he upgraded from Irvin. Please, please Michael Wilbon it. His name is Irvin. Irvin Magic Johnson. I love when Wilbon makes a very specific point to always say Irvin. Yeah. Hank, have you ever thought about that? His name is literally Magic Johnson, but it's not Magic Johnson because yeah, it's actually ironic. It's

yeah, but we're not going to get into that. Okay. Uh, before we get to who's back, we have to do a little cleanup from Friday's show. Um, we're not going to talk about the AAF. No, we're not. Okay. Uh, I mean, was there anything field trip today? Richardson is the all-time leading touchdown. Great person for the awesome. San Antonio had cool crowd. Yeah, Marvin. Oh, Marvin Lewis's Twitter handle is apparently at Alliance AAF. It's just a league Twitter. He'll be, he'll be coaching soon enough. Um, yeah, the AAF, that was fun. Yeah. That one week. We'll always have that when it revolutionized football. Uh, so before we get to Rich Eisen, and we also are going to do abducted and plain, uh, site review at the end of the show,

we have to clean up something from Friday. Our cat Duke bet with Hank. So we're at a stand still as it currently stands. There is a bet. There is a bet. And the bet is that as long as Duke doesn't lose by 10 plus in the sweet 16, uh, Hank doesn't have to get a cat. So they'd have to just win their first two round, first round, second round game, and then not lose by a double digits in the third round. Then Hank is clear, but that's kind of a stupid bet. We need a bet that goes throughout the entire tournament. That gets people excited. That lets people send Hank a bunch of pictures of Hank and Frank. It's mostly just the cat gifts is what we're here for. So where are we at? Um, well, Hank, Hank has been complaining about it. And I think he does. I have to be fair

at hanging. You guys are really good. You're not even letting me finish. Hey, say I'm complaining. I haven't been complaining. Listen, you have been complaining about it. And I was about to say with fear, like with good right, because there's nothing complaining. That's not complaining. We don't have a game, you know, we don't have enough skin to the game on our side. Okay. So we're going to do it. So we're going to figure it out right now. I say that if, uh, if we lose the bet, we have to pay $500 to an award-winning listener who's going to college at Duke. We have to give them a scholarship. We did have the idea in the brainstorm in the text chain. We had the idea of if we, if PFT and I lost the bet, we'd Venmo $100 to every incoming Duke player and say, here's

for coming to Duke, please accept this Venmo for next year. And then we'd send like a copy of that to compliance. So I guess this is considered complaining. All I said was that you guys don't have any skin in the game. Uh, someone tweeted this to me. I thought it was a great idea. And they said that if Duke wins the championship, so I, they only have to make it. I'm not, I'm willing to get rid of the 10 points we 16. Yes. I told you, I told you in full disclosure, I've been reading the art of the deal. So I've been absolutely owning you negotiations. Hey, guess what? The cat just got two times bigger. Fat cat. Yeah. You guys need to have some skin in the game. Someone tweeted this me. I think it's a great idea. If Duke wins the championship,

you guys both have to dye your hair blue for a week. So it's not because I'm, I am, it's very possible. No, I couldn't dye my hair blue. It would not look blue. What would it look like? It just wouldn't, it doesn't, hair dye doesn't work. I promise you there is a hairstylist in the area that could definitely get your hair turned blue. Anyways, what I was saying though, you guys are talking about money. I'm not risking money in this bet. So you guys shouldn't have to risk money either. That is my contention. You guys are saying, oh, we'll donate money. I think that if I'm not going to risk, I'm not risking money. I'm risking a cat's life. You guys should have to risk something of your own or someone else. Well, what if we, what if the scholarship that I mentioned we named

after your dad? I don't care. When he liked that, doesn't he be so proud of you? What if we spent a ton of money? What if we went to all this Taco Bells and boosted the sales by eating there? Doesn't matter. Don't care. Okay. So you want to dye our hair? I told you I would dye my hair jet black like Coach K. I don't think blue, my hair is too dark. Yeah, mine too. Your hair's lighter. I don't think my concern blue though is the thing. I'd have to bleach it and then turn it. What if you dyed it like the color of Takashi 69 and got a 69. I don't know who that is. You know, you know, you know, it's canceled. You got, but what if you got, what if you brought him back three years? What if we got henna tattoos on our neck saying Duke's year? Oh,

our face tattoo right here. Yeah. Don't dude. Yes. Let me, I told you I've been reading the art of the deal. You just come on. Neck tattoos that say Duke's year henna tattoos, they stay on for like three weeks, right? And the jet black hair. No, no, no, it's the tattoo or the hair. PFT brings up a fair point that hair dye is not going to look the way you think it will. Yeah. This is a very romanticized vision that you have in your head of us having like looking like the one and thing to matching tattoos across our necks. It's literally skin in the game. Duke's year. We're putting our skin on the line. What size font? 12 18. And it has to be visible for at least a week. And it has to be visible. You can't.

Yeah. You can't wear a turtleneck. I'm showing the camera. If you do the tattoos, you're not allowed to wear a turtleneck. I'm showing the camera right here where it is. It's Duke's year right here, right across where your Adams apple is. Okay. And then so turtlenecks. That's if Duke wins the championship. Yes. Okay. No turtlenecks for an entire week. Okay. And then if Duke, if Duke loses the championship, you're getting a cat. No. Okay. So then that that's how it has to work though. If that's our, no, if our limit is winning the championship, the cat is more severe. So how about if Duke doesn't go to the final four? How about if the Duke doesn't go to the final four, you have to get a cat.

A lead eight. It's the same, same, same bed as we talked about. I'm eliminating the 10-point rule. I'm getting rid of that. I want the 10-point rule on the lead eight then. I want if Duke loses by double digits in the lead eight, you have to get a cat. No. Are you allergic? Dude, they're going to be favored by so much. This is the odds of Duke winning. We looked it up. They're like plus 160 to win the national. They're not going to get blown out in the lead eight. But if they win the championship by double digits, you have to do the hair dye. I don't know about that. The thing is the hair dye isn't going to look cool. I think we got ourselves a deal. No, I think we got ourselves a deal. If Duke wins the title,

no, take away the 10 points. No, no, no, no. If Duke won't do 10 points, I'm not going to do it. Well, no, because we just transitioned to the lead eight. So they have to lose. It's the same bet, but just you went from 16 to the lead eight. That's the exact same bet. You just moved it to the lead eight and we added our stakes. But a loss is a loss. I don't care about the point. Well, no, you will. It will be electric to watch. That's the whole point. It's for the viewers. It's not for us. Right. So then if Duke is dominating the championship, that's electric to watch. I don't know about that. I don't know. I'll give you 20 points. 20 points. 20 points and I would do 20 points. I'll do it. Deal. Deal. If Duke wins the title

by 20 points, then we'll add the hair dye. Okay. Okay. How about if he loses by 20 points, you have to get two cats in the lead eight. Yes. No, you got to get two cats. No, two. Two. One elderly and one young one. So wait. No, no, no. Here we go. I'm not, I will not bring another life into this stupid deck. Hey, I have the final. Here we go. Ready? Here it is. This is exactly it. I'm not going to say two cats. I'm not going to say two cats. If Duke loses by 10 points in the elite eight or before the elite eight, Hank has to get a cat. If Duke wins the national title, we have to get neck tattoos and say Duke's year for

that are visible for at least one week. Henna tattoos. Yeah. Henna tattoos for at least one week. If Duke wins the national title by 20 points or more, we also have to dye our hair. If Duke loses by 20 points or more in the elite eight, we get to name the cat. Well, we don't include that. We're going to, we're going to call the cat whatever we want. Well, no, but he has to actually agree to it like by like fill out the paperwork. Get a little collar. It has to be LeBron Lockwood. Yep. Like that whole thing. Bron, Bron. Bron, Bron, the cat just pissing all over your house. It has been decided. I like that. Deal, Hank. Deal. Shake on it. Virtual shake. Podcasters. Virtual shake. Credo.

God damn it. All right. I'm, I'm, I'm fired up. I'm fired up. You're going to get a fucking cat. If I get a neck tattoo and there's no stipulations with injuries or suspensions. Correct. Throw those out. Yeah. And Zion's sitting the rest of the year out. We already know that. Yes. Yeah. So that's into. I tried to show Hank a fake woge tweet today about, about RJ Barrett getting suspended. He just didn't flinch. He didn't even bite on it. We're going to have to figure out a way to get one of them suspended. I'm thinking if I'm going to dye my hair blue and get a neck tattoo, I might as well get an earring too. Yeah. That is your prerogative. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right, let's do who's back of the week. Hank, why don't you start

cat owner, Hank, Hank and Frank, uh, speaking of Duke, speaking of Duke, speaking of championships, speaking of Boston, uh, championship trophies are back in Boston because Jason Tatum won the skills competition. Okay. So it's been like, did he get a trophy for that too? Yeah. Big trophy. Big old trophy. You got a big one. It's been like two weeks. So it's just good. It's just good to bring the, you know, the winning culture back to Boston. It's been too long. You guys have been suffering for a while. Uh, Brett is also back. Thank God. I'm sure you guys saw this, but I'm sure you guys read it in the paper this Sunday, but the New Yorker posted an article said, Brett is making a comeback embraced by home bakers, restaurateurs and science minded hobbyists

and trans by the mesmerizing intricacies of sourdough culture. Okay. So bread is back. That's a fun little pun that they did sourdough culture. Yeah. But bread, by the way, has been out. Like you're talking about, you know, the keto diet, people going no carbs, gluten-free, gluten-free. It's been a tough, bad run. Yeah. Yeah. They haven't made the playoffs in a while, but now they got Baker. Now they got Baker. So they're good. All right. Uh, what do you got? PFT. Uh, my who's back of the week is Johnny Cueto's dead horse. Hmm. Saw that. You remember when he posted that like a year ago, just a picture of his dead horse? Yep. Well, he posted it again. Well, no, it was a different dead horse. No, I think it was the

same one. No, I'm pretty sure it was totally different. I think all his horses. Do we have a serial? Yeah. No, I think he's the horse. He's literally beating his dead horse. Yeah. No, his horses keep dying. Uh, so he said that his horse died because it ate poisonous grasshoppers. So insects are fighting back. We learned last week that insects were on the hot seat. So now they're poisoning horses and attacking their own predators. So it's good to see that. Also, Chris Berman's back. He is going to be announcing a number of Red Sox games this year. So that green monster is going to fuck with his back, back, back calls. Like the whole depth perception is going to be tough for him on that one. I love that he didn't actually retire.

It's been nice. Right. Yes. I think if, if we pulled the tape, when we were talking about him retiring, we were obviously distraught, we were devastated to hear the news. And I think I said something really stupid. Like I always figured that Chris Berman would just stop showing up one day and he wouldn't want to make like a big spectacle, long, dry out David Ortiz. Right. Occasion out of his retirement and I, and you shut me down a meal. You're like, do you know, are we talking about the same Chris Berman? And you were right. I was wrong. I'd like to admit that. You got it to me. Uh, by the way, I fact check. Uh, Johnny Quaidote, that is a different horse. A different horse. He's had two horses die in the last three years. What's going on? This is

Popeye the brown horse. His other one was an unnamed, uh, white horse and they both just died. We need to mount an entire investigation to get Johnny Quaidote. We need to have like a true crime podcast. I guess they do horses do die. I mean, this is as guys who have had a lot of goldfish die. We're not going to shame anyone on how they take care of their animals. Right. But my solemn promise to you will be, I'm not going to tweet out a picture of my dead animals after they're dead. I think we did that with Larry. I didn't though. Yeah. We did that every single time. All right. My who's back. I got two versus Ray Allen. Did you guys see it? 24 points, nine rebounds in the celebrity all-star game on Friday night. Ray Allen's jumper.

Don't get the win though. Didn't get the win. Ray Allen's jumper though forever. Like he can roll out of bed and especially if he's usually spending a lot of time at bed. I'm not going to do the tweet. I'm not going to say the tweet. Getting there. When you masturbate, think about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue. But Ray Allen is back. Good to see him. It was the first time he was on the court since I think the last heat title when they lost the spurs. So it'd been a long time since we had seen Ray Allen. I feel like he could still, he's one of those never-adgers. Yeah. This is why you're like so into having an old jump shot, like an old person's jump shot when you're seven years old because you just saw Ray Allen. And

it is cool. Yeah. I'm not arguing that it's cool. I'm just saying dunking is cooler. Listen, if ball is lifestyle like it is for me, you'd understand. My other who's back is Danny Hamlin. He has won our guy, Danny Hamlin. We're team Danny. He won the Daytona 500. He beat that little bitch Joey Slogano. Sloe Logano. There was an awesome wreck. I also learned that it's called the big one because I tweeted everyone wrecked and it was like, no dude, it's called the big one. Like the earthquake in California. Exactly, which is coming. But it was awesome to watch. And little birdie told me that maybe Danny Hamlin, recurring guest, might be back on sometime soon. Hopefully. It was good to see him win. And you're right. Like seeing Sloe just like have to suck

that exhaust fuel right out of Danny's car. What a loser. But you should make the loser just put their lips around the exhaust pipe. Do they have exhaust pipes in those cars? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Just suck it right out. So yeah, congrats to Danny. Hopefully we see him soon. All right. You remember when he was on the podcast last time? He broke that story for us about. We're not going to talk about that because we want to come back. We'll have to ask him about it. Yeah. Okay. Before we get to rich eyes in a quick word from a couple of our sponsors, Spotify, February isn't just about one super sized football game on Spotify. There's thousands of free sports podcasts, including this one that you're listening to right now. And they agonize over pre seasons,

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it yourself. And here's the best part. You can try that out for free. Yes, for free. The internet is the future and Squarespace is where it's at. So go right now to Squarespace and you can try it out for free at squarespace.com slash PMT for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code PMT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go right now, squarespace.com slash PMT for that free trial and you can save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Okay, here he is. The long-awaited Rich Eisen. Okay, we now welcome on a long overdue guest. It is Rich Eisen. Yes, sir. Host of the Rich Eisen show, the face of the NFL network. I appreciate you using those terms. You say that every time.

No, I don't. No, I don't. I wouldn't mean every time. This is my first time on your show. No, when someone says you're the face of the NFL network, you're like, oh, thank you so much. Have you looked at my library of interviews? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I have. It's on my research. Would you disagree with that assertion? That I'm the face of the NFL network? Yes. I don't know if people say they look at my face and they say that's the NFL network. I do. Or do you look frequently? You do. Like right now. You're doing the face right now. You're doing the NFL network. That's the NFL network face. What is the face? No, you just did it. You're really good. You can't even try. It just comes

naturally. Who is the nipple of the NFL network? There's so many. Yeah, a lot of nipples. You know what I mean? Well, Mooch. Everybody has them. Everyone has them. Yeah. I bet you Mooch has got a nice set. So we're going to run this after the Super Bowl. Give us a great choice, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Excellent choice. Give us your Super Bowl prediction. I take the Rams over the Patriots. Really? Yes, I do. Okay, so you're buying into the Patriots or underdogs? Well, no, I'm not. Okay. I am technically copping out because those who make predictions or are forced to, when you make a preseason prediction that actually turns out to be spot on, I now have the cover of saying, well, I predicted it before the season, so I can't give up now.

I love when guys do that, when they get their preseason prediction right once every 10 years, they're like, well, I'm going to stick with my preseason prediction Rams Patriots. So I have gotten it right more than once in the last 10 years. I just feel the need. I'm doing that face right now for those who aren't seeing it. So yes, that's what I predicted Rams over Patriots, so I'm sticking with it. But now that we're actually here, I can't believe that Brady actually made it back here with the Patriots after having it happen last year. So I'm kind of playing it down the middle a little bit, but I'm taking Rams over Patriots. Deceptively edit this, that's a promise. Don't do that. No, I don't want you to edit. We're going to edit it though.

Yeah. Is that okay? Okay. Thank you. Good. No, but I appreciate it. By the way, great. It was a great standoff. It was awesome. Yeah, serious question. So you were one of the first, if not the first person to escape the orbit of the mothership of ESPN. Right. Big Cat and I know a little bit about, you know, leaving ESPN before things get too messy. And we actually had the balls to leave, you know, after just one week. We broke up with them. It took you. Yeah. It took you a while to get out of there. Yeah. What was the hardest part of making that decision? And I think it's safe to say that it paid off. Well, it was an interesting time. I was just about to get married also. So there was that too. And it was really kind of difficult because I wanted to stay, but on certain

terms, you know, I want to do more than just sports center. And I wasn't being given that in a negotiation. And I stood my ground a little bit better than what happened between the two of us moments ago. So they offered me the first hosting job of cold pizza. Oh, yeah. Very lucrative. Yeah. I remember you called cold pizza. Sure. You know, that was, that was before, I think that's like get up. No, it was generations ago. Right. To first take. Yes. So first take was like a tiny little segment. So I gave up a chance to work with Skip Bayless. Yep. Yeah. So there's that. But I realized early on that, that that's not the role that I really wanted the way that they were describing it. So I stood my ground and then all of a sudden I get a phone call saying we're

done. I'm like, okay, I guess we're done. So I moved out to LA and I started the NFL network and you know, it was really awesome to start something up and be fresh. But we were in 11 million homes when we started. So nobody was really watching when we first launched. And I remember my wife was covering the NBA All-Star game at the time because she was doing stuff out in Southern California as a reporter herself. And I went to the All-Star game and somebody came up to me before an event. Hey, man, watch you every day. And I'm like, really, you do? Like what system do you have? Are we on more than just direct TV? And he looked at me and he goes, what are you talking about? And I'm like, I'm on the NFL network now. And then he goes, you're not on Sports Center

anymore? And I'm like, no. And he just paused and he goes, are you all right? And I'm like, if you've got a mirror, I can fog it up for you. You know, I'm standing. I'm still standing. That was when Sports Center was like the gold standard and it was kind of a crazy move to leave there. At what point were people, did people stop saying like, oh, I see you on ESPN? They started to be like, okay, Rich Eisen's not at ESPN. I still get that. I still get people humming the Sports Center theme at me and thinking that the NFL network is ESPN. I mean, it's kind of crazy. But I still get that from time to time. And people can't believe that it's been, as of this May, it'll have been 16 years since my last Sports Center. And how long were you at ESPN?

Seven years. Did Keith Olbermann ever learn your name? Keith Olbermann learned my name. He gave me some tough love, Kao, where I would walk through the hallway and he would just look at me go, nope. That's perfect. And I'm like, okay, walk through the hallway again. He would walk past me and go, not yet. And then, nope, not yet. He'd combine some various form of it. And one time I just said, okay, I'll bite. Keith, what are you saying? And he goes, you're not close to doing the type of Sports Center that you can be doing and should be doing. Really? Like, what's that? He goes, you're making everything a joke, which is true. And he goes, do one highlight without a joke, then do one segment without a joke,

then do two segments without a joke, then do half a show that way, then a full show that way. And then when you're totally bored, do an entire week that way, and then you're halfway there. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he's like, the joke should be the outlier, not the entirety of what you're doing. And so I realized that he was actually trying to help. And he was cool about it eventually, but the first couple of times it was, holy shit, what is he actually attempting to do here? Berman was a lot more welcoming right off the bat. I'll tell you this story, since the guardrails are a little bit off here on Yeah. Plus you could pardon my take. And we're friends with him. He doesn't know that yet.

So when I got there at ESPN, I was 26 years old, and I'd just come from Reading, California, which is market like 120 out of 205. So more people were in the newsroom when I first stepped in at ESPN than I worked in the entire operation I'd just come from. And, you know, my mind was totally blown with everybody that I'd been watching for years from Berman or Keith to Dan Patrick and, you know, Kilborn was out of his mind. And, and then here's Berman. And what they used to, I think they still do, I haven't been back obviously in a long time, but those ESPN banners that you see hung over the walls at games to let you know that ESPN is broadcast in the game, they would hang them on the, in the hallways and the prefabricated cubicle,

the walls of all the cubicles that were there for on air talent to autograph to be auctioned off of charities. People would put their list, their name up there with like a piece of paper. This is for such and such charity, please sign. So again, I'm 26 years old and I'm just walking through the hallways and I'm wondering how many sports centers do I have to do before I can legitimately hold my head up and look at my colleagues in the face and say, I can sign these, like how many of them? Is there a finite numbers at five, six, whatever? So I'm thinking that and I go into the makeup room and who's sitting in there getting ready to do baseball tonight before my 730 p.m. Sunday night sports center, but Chris Berman, who better to ask than him? Chris, I'm rich,

like, yeah, I know York. So I explained to him my problem and he goes, how long you've been here? And I'm like two weeks, how many shows have you done? One? I'm like, yeah, one, at least. He goes, fuck it, sign them all. And I'm like, all right, okay. So I grabbed the sharpie and went right down the line. I'm like, Berman told me I could sign every last one of them. That's like God's telling you. Yeah, literally the first conversation I ever had with Chris Berman. That's that. What would you like as a coworker? He was awesome. And I, he used to do, when I first arrived there, he used to do like, he'd surf in on sports center, like around March or April, and just do sports centers like old school. And I remember going into the meeting when I first got there,

it was before ESPN news. So anybody who got hired, they would just throw right on the air, but they wanted to have me observe for like two, three weeks, which was tough to do. I'm like, I'm finally here. Like my dream had come true. And I had to sit around and watch and wait. And I went in the meeting and it's one of the first sports center ideas meetings, and it's Berman walks in because he's doing the show. And the same guy that I watched for years walked in that room. And I thought to myself, like, that's what success is. Like the person you meet off the air should be the same person you meet on there. Not somebody who puts on this voice or just, you know, hey, I've got a shtick. But when you know they're off the air, they're like, hey,

nice to meet you. Like he was that guy, right? You know, and every other person who was really successful at sports center was the same way from Keith to Dan Stewart to Kilbourne. I mean, who was like I said, totally out of his mind. When I first got there, he would call me spark, just sparky, just like he called everybody else. I was finished doing a show. And he was doing the late night and I was somehow got on the 11 o'clock, which was absurd because, you know, normally they put you on the middle of the night. I come upstairs. This is literally like the third week I was there. And he looks at me goes, good show, spark, you know, doing a lot of stuff that I'm doing, you know, but that's, you know, that's good. And I'm like thinking, wow, that was like,

what was that bus that just ran over me? Yeah. And so I finally got to do a show with him. And he's like, you want to go to dinner? Sure, like go to dinner with, you know, Craig, I saw Kilbourne do all these lead ins, you know, with, with William Shatner over your shoulder. And, you know, that's the guy I'd, you know, wanted to do sports center with, you know, if I had a, when I got there, name a list of the top five people I wanted to host sports center with, he'd be on it. Say, here I am going to dinner with him hopping his car. And we're going through the drive through of the Kenny Rogers roll and roaster. Yeah. Yeah, that was dinner and farming in Connecticut. I'm sitting there as he's going through, as he's we're going through the drive

through. He says, you know, my contract's up soon. I get I'm 26 years old. I had just met the guy essentially and he's telling me some intimate business details of his job. I mean, you know, you know, I got my contracts up soon. I'm like, okay, you know, what are you going to do? And he starts to describe to me another option for him. And at the time I had no idea what it was, but subsequently he was describing the daily show to me as we're going through the drive through. And he took looks at me when we finally get our food and, you know, we check the bag and make sure the order's right. He turns to me goes, do you think I should do it? I'm like, what? Like, what? Exactly. Craig didn't have a whole lot of people. I don't know what it was. I don't know

what it was. But yeah, it was really bizarre. And I'm like, you know, if it makes you happy, you know, and sure enough, like a month later, he was gone. Well, he probably realized like, now I can pass on from ESPN because I got a guy here doing that bit. That's exactly right. We finally found the guy who can replace me. I mean, shoot, I must have been like 10 or 11 years old. But the first time I ever seeing you on Sports Center, and I was like, I like this guy was when you're doing your skip carry because I used to grow up watching Braves games all the time. And no, but I had never heard anybody do a skip carry impression. It's such a unique, like distinctive voice. It was perfect. I was like, this rich guy. Yeah, I think he could stick

around. 10 year old me was like, you know what, I'll watch this guy for another couple of years till he jets for NFL Network. Yeah. So I'll tell you a story about that too. So I would do that all the time for Braves highlights. And you know, I haven't done it in years. It sounds like an awful mishmash of whatever the real skip carry sounded like. And so I started getting some assignments calling baseball games. And I ran into skip carries producer saying, you know, I really like your imitation of skip. I'm like, so does what's he think? And he goes, he acts like he doesn't like it. But I think deep down, he kind of likes it. Like kind of, like, yeah. So cut to the 1999 World Series, I'm covering it for Sports Center. And the Braves

are in it against the Anks. And I'm walking in the concourse of the old Yankee stadium, getting ready to go on the field and who comes right around the corner, but skip carry. And I am face to face with the man now who I've been told kind of likes this whole thing. And he pulled the old school, like when you are old and gray, you guys can pull this move because you can just pull out of your, when somebody walks up to you and they say, Hey, nice to see you. And you want to totally douche the person. You just grab their press pass and look and go, what's your name? That's a good one. Oh, damn. Nice to see you, Rich. Damn. I'm like, you bastard. Exactly. Like he pulled the old school. Like,

Rich, like he grabbed, he physically touched my, my, around my neck. Yes, he got in your bubble. Physically picked it up just a little bit. Yes. Looked at my name. Oh, hey, yeah. Now I know who it's like. He's a Milan. He put, he grabbed your leash. He dogwalked you. He dogwalked you. He dogwalked you. I got dog. He got dog. Can you say it again in skips voice of it? Hey, Rich, you know, what's your name? Oh, hey, yeah. There you go. It almost sounds like Patrick Mahomes. It's a little bit new. I was preparing. I was laying the groundwork. No idea. I'm going to give you a compliment. You ready for this?

Great way to start questions. Yeah, I'm going to give you a compliment. Okay. So like looking through your whole career, you have the old school, old fashioned career of like, you know, journalism school, go work in a newsroom, do sports center. And now you're here. I feel like most people don't have that path anymore. Right. Have you had it like a conscious effort to adapt with the times? Because I think a lot of guys who maybe are sitting in your seat didn't adapt with the times and just sit there and complain about podcasts and blogs and all that stuff. No question about it. I mean, what you guys are doing is obviously humongous.

Yeah, that's what you see. It was a compliment to get a compliment. And if you didn't want to compliment me, I would not have returned con, but I did not start my compliment by giving you the heads up it was coming. Correct. Okay. So yeah. Blindside compliment. That's where we go different ways. Correct. But that's your style and I have my own. Yes. So clearly what we're, what we're all doing is different. I mean, it's entirely possible. The show that I'm doing right here today from this set,

which is awesome and beautiful and I'm excited and the guest list that's coming, the conversation I'm having with you could be heard by more people. And if somebody told me that, I wouldn't go into a fetal position and complain or whatever. I would totally understand it and believe it. So your platform and what you guys have built is considerable and it's strong. And obviously people know about it and it's not so called conventional and we're sitting in a room. I don't know. Did you purposely place the coffee? Yeah. Up there in the tray and the styrofoam tray.

Just in case it fell. By the way, my set dressing is the Vince Lombardi trophy. Yeah, cool. I'm not, that's cool. That's a very passive. The real one? It was a very. The real one?

Erepoca. Weird flex. It's Erepoca. No. It's Erepoca. Excuse me. Oh, okay. Which one is it? The next one?

You'll see if you want to, like, by the way, by the way, that's a passive aggressive flex on my part. But we understand. Yes. But you're doing your thing. Yeah. But at the end. See this? That costs like seven bucks.

Okay. That's impressive. So, yeah. But now, by the way, if I was one of those, if you will, old school broadcast types, as you just pointed out, who frowns upon this platform and how you're building it, I would have thrown in the adjective of the word little. Yes. Like you're, you know, what you guys are doing.

Your little podcast. What you're doing, your little thing. Yes. You know, I mean, you know what I mean? Like, those are the ways that you know who actually respects you or not. True. So, I didn't do that. Yeah.

And I wouldn't do that because I respect it. You did it now, but you wouldn't do it. But you said hypothetically. Yeah. But if you were actually a master at doing it, that was like definitely verbal judo. So passive. Yeah. Yeah.

And slightly aggressive. But no, all that said, okay, that's why the show that I'm doing today will be sliced up. Meetings that we have after the show are about how are we going to take what we have just created, make it in bite-sized forms from anywhere between two and seven minutes that we're going to put on YouTube and Twitter and have a Facebook and Instagram presence. And how can we grow that out digitally? You know, our podcast is daily and it's three hours a day. And that's an absurd amount to consume.

I wish we had a little more tightly compacted audio on demand. Wish I had a little podcast. Yep. I wish I had a little podcast like yours. So, yes, like, so I am seeing all of this. And I just did a shoot for a show that's coming out in for a cameo. You did billions. Just say you did billions.

I'm not going to say that. We already heard that you did billions. Well, just play yourself. Yeah, it doesn't matter. No, no, no, no, I can't. I'm not going to confirm or deny. I'm not going to confirm or deny. We know.

Oh, were you one of the sex slaves in it? No, no, no, no, no, no. They start ripping. See, I would cheer for that. Now you're really not right. Like in terms of accurate or not. You're as far from accurate as you could possibly be. You were doing the whipping.

Like you're not. No, no, no, no. You're not even close to the vicinity of accurate. OK, OK. So, but Mennery, who I believe Bob Mennery, who you guys know. Not really. OK. You don't know him?

I mean, I know of him. OK. Never met him. So he's, you know, got a billion people on Instagram and he's doing his little thing. Yep. And the producers of this show brought their kids 11, 13, and nine to the set.

They went to him, took pictures with him. They flipped out over him. And when I walked in, they'd know. Chopped liver. Zero. Yeah. And I called my wife up right there and I'm like, OK. You know, like this is something that I need to make sure.

I need to have more of a presence and more of an idea of what I'm not into. Yeah. I don't do Fortnite. I don't do any of that stuff. But maybe I maybe I should. Well, I think you get really high and watch SpongeBob. That's work for us.

And make memes. But isn't that old now though? No. Well, it's so old that it's kind of funny. No, because it's like the memes are not are like everyone loves the memes. So no, it's not old memes. No, not memes.

Yeah. SpongeBob. Yeah, yeah. You suggest here's what you should do. Recreate that Steve Buscemi gift where he walks out from behind the locker and skateboard over his shoulder and say, how do you do, fellow kids? Is it GIF or GIF?

I say GIF. Whatever you want. My mind will never be changed. Is it really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's fun to do. Whatever you want. OK.

But I think what Big Cat was getting at is that you have done a better job than a lot of people, I think, of like letting your personality go out there and show that you can interact with people and that you don't think of yourself as being like high and mighty face of NFL Network. I'm looking down at you at all times. You've done a good job at kind of building yourself up

as a likable person by interacting with fans. And I think a lot of people don't get that or haven't gotten that over the last 10 years. So was that like a conscious decision where you're like, hey, I'm going to be. Well, I'm just being myself. Yeah. So I was looking at you.

Yeah. I like to think. Did you just lay a trap? No. No, OK. No, that was a serious question. OK. I was just following up on him.

But so along those lines, I did look at your Twitter. I was just wondering if there's anything that Donald Trump could ever do to make you stop supporting. If you could go back in time, would you still vote for him? I know you want that wall. Yeah. But it's looking like it might not happen. So you know what, I've got an open mind.

I know. Let me let me think about that. That sounds like it. Let me think about that. Sounds like you made up your mind. But I don't retweet a lot of stuff. I hit the like button. Sir, that's the like button.

You do smash it. It's the like button. It's like they snitched that like button. They made the like button a snitch. The like button is not a rig it is. Yeah, I know. The like button should not be reached. But it shows up now.

That's not right. That's how Twitter works. I think that's part of the algorithm. I know. So throw Sir in there. It works for Keith Oldman. Is that right? Yeah.

Sir, that's when you know you're serious. Have you ever rapped about politics before? Say that again? Have you and Keith ever talked about politics before? We have. Yeah. Yeah, we have. He's a big resign.

Sir, sir. Sir, I'm not anymore. Sir. I mean, to go from just cursing the president of the United States up and down to suddenly talking with Sage Steele about the basketball tournament is really a hell of a twist. In a 180. We're going to get back to Rich Eisen in a second.

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I promise it's way better than your living room. And now, more Rich Eisen. Can we have an honest conversation about Jim Harbaugh? We like Jim Harbaugh. He's our guy. He's a friend. But you're a Wisconsin guy. I am a Wisconsin guy.

You almost had him for the Packers, but you're a Bears guy. Yeah, I don't care. That would have been a nightmare if he was a Packers coach. But with that said, I think he's in actual trouble at Michigan. I don't think he's in trouble at Michigan. Okay, so you're fine with just getting the shit kicked out of you every year by your rival? I am not fine with that.

Beating up Maryland in Rutgers and all that stuff. I know the Big Ten just as well as you do. I know that. Big Cat, there's something called in life. I'm just going to help you in life when we walk out of this beautiful, spacious room here in the Turner Studios. There's something called a gray area. Not everything is he's in trouble and he's not in trouble.

And in between is I enjoy getting the shit kicked out of Michigan. That is not the entirety of the place in between the two positions. But I'm serious right now. I like Jim Harbaugh. I think he's a fantastic head coach. I think he's a fantastic motivator. I was at that game, the Ohio State Michigan game this year. He doesn't have those guys like emotionally prepared to play Ohio State

whereas Urban Meyer makes a bunch of kids from Florida and all over the country somehow hate the state of Michigan to a level that like Jim Harbaugh, it feels like every time they get to that big game, they fall completely flat. Well, I'm going to give you two answers here. The first one is going to be the one that sounds the most arrogant. Oh, the Michigan man. Michigan matters. Excuse me.

Go ahead. I cut you off there. Don't put words in my mouth. You're about to say Michigan. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to say that as a matter of fact. And if you're going to put words in my mouth, next time say I'm about to put words in your mouth and then do it.

Okay. Okay. Just stay consistent throughout this interview. Fair, fair, fair. Okay. So my opinion on that, about that it's bigger for Ohio State and it's made bigger, is because they legitimately, as fans, view that as the most important thing is to beat Michigan.

They're the ones who show up to week one in the horseshoe, getting ready to kick the ever-loving daylights out of some school that is most likely not even found on a map. Right. Just to warm up for the season. Okay. That school, they're the ones who come into the concourse screaming, beat Michigan.

They're the ones who go, that's school up north. Right. They're the ones who put the letter X over the M. We're not doing that. This is sounding arrogant. Oh, okay. This is sounding arrogant. We're not doing that.

Like, it's not about that for Michigan. It's about eventually winning it all, getting to the Rose Bowl and winning it all. And if that goes through Ohio State. It does. So be it. Every year. Not every year.

Yeah. Well, not when John Cooper, not when we beat the crap out of him. But this is the problem with Michigan fans. It's a circle of life, too. That's my second point. You guys talk about it like 20 years ago. No, no, no, no. It's a circle of life.

Okay. Okay. It's just in the same way that we are getting our ass kicked over the last 15 years, there was a period like that, too. And in the totality of it, Ohio State is, I don't even think within 10 wins of Michigan in the all-time. Oh. Right.

We're talking like now, 15. I understand. Like talk currently. Let's talk right now. Okay. Let's talk right now. Yes. That there needs to be a better scheme to get these kids who I think are as good as athletic.

The team may not be as deep as Ohio State is, but they are as good. They should win that game that you were at. That should happen. And it shouldn't be 62 to whatever the hell it was. Yep. It should never be that. Now, I'm glad that Harbaugh went out and got seemingly a red-hot candidate to coordinate their offense to Gattis from Alabama.

It sounds like that guy was in demand and Jim got him within like five hours to go to Michigan and he's going to hand it off to him. Hand it off. Like let's get somebody who is rooted in the 21st century of scheme and kids and from the very pinnacle of the college football ladder with all due respect, obviously to Clemson, get him in there and hand it off to him. And let's see what we can do. So it's not as good as I wanted it to be.

I wanted to have a championship at least from the Big Ten championship game appearance in our back pocket. Or even a second place. So I'm being honest, like, but I don't think he's in trouble. I don't think he's in trouble. He still has a great history there. Do you think he burns people out though? He does.

Yeah. Like who? I mean, maybe the professional right. He's done it everywhere he's gone. I think you see it more in the NFL because these guys are getting paid. What about Paul Christ? Are you happy they resign him? Oh, don't turn this on me, Rich.

Paul Christ is fine. What about your school? Nine or ten in your school? The difference is trying out all these running bats. But what else have you got? Here's the difference between me and you. I know what I am. You still think Michigan matters.

You still think we're in 1960. It does matter. I know that Wisconsin winning nine games in the pinstripe bowl is cool with me. You think you're competing for national championships and you're not. I think the lovable loser is endearing. It's a lovable nine to ten win season. It's great. That's a good thing.

And he's a great reset expectations. He's a great coach. I'm glad that Wisconsin signed him to a longer term contract. This was a nice heated debate and I wanted to get into. Because Michigan doesn't matter anymore. That's false. That is not false. Ohio State matters.

Check the ratings. Check the ratings. I get it, the ratings. But you guys are not going to like Ohio State is going to keep kicking the shit out of you. Ryan Day is going to kick the shit out of you. Well, I'll tell you this. That's not going to happen. Okay.

I can't wait. By the way, I can't wait. I can't wait. I don't even like Ohio State. You're making me like. I can't wait. Urban's going to be teaching his class and playing it. What is the ethics class?

He's going to go play golf or whatever that famous golf course is. He's going to go there and he's just going to happen to teach a class on how to be a better human and better ethical individual. And then suddenly Ohio State's not going to be beating the crap out of everybody. I don't know. Okay. You think he'll beat the crap out of everyone? I think Ryan Day is a pretty damn good coach and I think he's hiring.

Like he went and got your two guys. Your two guys just walked across the street. That's what I buttoned, by the way. That's a slap in the gym hardball space. I will ask this question of you that I asked of people on my show. No, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? The D took two guys from the defense that gave up 62 points.

This is, but it was also the top. It was the number one defense up until that point. Well, yeah. But when it all came down to it, look, let him go. Let him go. I love my school. You will never get me to say anything, but I think Jim Harbaugh is an excellent coach who did the right thing by realizing what he is doing is not working.

Went and got somebody new and he's going to hand it off to this kid and say, go coordinate the offense and see what we can do. That's a million times. Yeah. Chef did it last year, but he didn't do it all the time. He didn't do it as well. He's only done it once. How many times did you do it?

Once. Do you guys have like a rivalry? Who's a bigger Michigan man? Me and Chef. An NFL media? We have zero rivalry. Really? None.

Because you're so much better than them? You Ohio Stadium. That's what we call it. Yeah. That's a good one. You snuck that one in there. You crossed out all the comments. You're better when you don't tell me what's coming.

I know you're so passionate. When you don't tell me what's coming. I honestly wanted to have that conversation because I know how passionate you are about Michigan and I love talking to people who are passionate about their teams and it came through. No, I appreciate that. You're wrong.

In every way. I appreciate that. It came through. No, I appreciate that you appreciate my passion. Yeah. Thank you. We're just appreciation all over the place. How deep are we on your list of prepared questions?

I actually haven't asked the same question. I'm on number two. I'm on number two. You know what it is? Great job preparing you all guys. I don't know if you're the same way, but a lot of times if I'm interviewing somebody, I write down a shitload of questions

and then I just feel better knowing that I have questions. It's a crush. It's a crush. And then I just talk. Yeah, like right here. How much money do you spend on dad sweaters a year? Like I wrote that down. What's the answer to that?

Dad sweaters are very expensive. Okay. And require having a two income household for that. Okay. Just so you understand. Here's one that I wrote down. How do you get Michael Irvin to stop howling on set? I can't.

Yeah. You ever thought about putting the like shock collar on him? Actually, we do kind of like fake blowing darts in his direction. Oh, just blow air on him. Yeah, dogs get that to get blown on their face. Yeah. Have you had Irvin on this show yet? No, we need to get him on.

We do need to get him on. Asking questions like that is not the way to get him on. Okay. Just letting you know. Again, just giving you a head little heads up. Okay. No little questions. No, no, no, no.

Just talking about, you know, drugging him to calm him down. Oh, okay. Right. You know, the insinuation of your question. You're the one that insinuated drugging, though. No, I didn't. I think so.

I said shock collar. Then you said boys and darts. I went ahead. You said boys and darts. To where you wanted to go. No, I did not. In the back of my mind, I did not think about poisoning Michael Irvin

until you brought it up. Okay. You entrapped me into thinking about it. I think I might have done that. Yeah. Here's a good question. Have you ever thought about manning up and starting doing the bench press

instead of the four yard dash? You know what? I don't want to do that. You have that, too? That was my last. Is that right? Yeah. Did you use the phrase manning up on your pad?

I added the manning up. Did you in your question insinuate against something about my manhood? I just said it. We didn't have a question. No, I got that. Like, it was a little nest egg. Let's do like a little Russian nest egg

if we keep opening it up at the very center of that is a question about my manhood. By the way, the manhood was an ad-lib. I just wrote bench pressing instead of 40 yard dash. I wrote how much a bench? Probably not that much. It's not at all. See?

By the way, you're right. No, I did the running. It's fantastic, by the way. I appreciate that. Hilarious. Like every year trying to beat yourself, what, 2016 you peaked? Yeah.

Okay. So you think you ever beat that? Not just in the 40 also. Like literally in every way of my life. But the suit, the whole thing is like. It's three years on the downside right now for me. It's one of those things that, you know, the combine can get monotonous.

We love it, but, you know, the casual fan might find it monotonous. Right. But then you do this every year and everyone's excited to watch you try to run the 40 in a suit. Well, I'm trying to do that again. I'm going to do it again. I'm actually training for it this year.

But it all began in 05 out of sheer boredom, just like anything in our business. And by ours, I mean, I'm assuming you guys get bored. Yeah, we're in this. He seems like, got it. So we were waiting around to shoot a segment of NFL total access, me and Terrell Davis in the old RCA dome.

And I'm suited up. He's suited up like the whole suit tie, everything, dress shoes. And I turned to him. I said, how fast do you think I can run the 40? And he laughed. And I cursed at him. And I'm like, I'll show you.

And I went down on the field and I ran it. And I had no idea because the crew was on a break. I had no idea that they were rolling on it in the truck. And one guy, James Lytle, was our steady cam operator, was shooting it from afar. No idea was being captured at all. And they surprised me with it on the air at the end of the show.

Like, there we saw you run the 40. And here you did. And they timed it and everything. And ha, ha, ha. And then the next day, three coaches came by. We had Joe Gibbs. We had Matt Millen. He's not a coach, but general manager.

And we had, who was the third? It was Holmgren. And Holmgren asked to see it again because he saw it on the air that night before. Thought it was so funny. And we ran it again. And then we started running it again. And I had no intention of actually running it again

the next year until Holmgren saw me when I walked in to coach the Seahawks at the time, saying, are you going to do it again? You have to do it again. Like, okay. So then I did it again. And then I did it one more time. And it was beginning to jump the shark

because those are my two things that I'm genuinely concerned about. One is hurting myself. And two, it's no longer funny, which is worse than hurting yourself. I said, I think you guys are going to break. Okay. So I'm hurting my legacy.

Let's be honest. Right? Okay. If you're going to call me the face, there's a legacy involved. Yeah, true. So bottom line is I'm going to stop doing it. But they came up with that

simulcam technology where they can put my run over actual runs, which added to the absolute slapstick visual quality of just watching me while still coming out of my stance, seeing a fast run and just exit the screen. Right. It's like laugh out loud, funny.

So that added more to it. And then they give me a five yard head start and then you watch some big fat guy run through it, run through my 40. So we keep doing it. And then we started doing it for charity for St. Jude starting about three years ago. Have you ever beaten anyone?

I have not. That's my goal. So that should be when you retire. If you cannot finish last in the combined participants, then you can walk off in the sunset. Right. Whenever we would see this big, huge fat lineman run a five, seven, five, eight, Warren Sapp would text me

or call me up and say, that's your pace car, Rich. Yeah. You got to go beat your pace car. Go beat your pace car. So it's possible. Like if through training this year, I might have somebody runs a five, eight and change. I might actually get them.

Okay. I believe in you. Yeah. I appreciate that. You've been wearing those new shoes recently. I have to. I have to. Because again, I'm pushing 50.

And so I can't do something stupid. Does Dion actually give you any real advice? He does. Or is he just like, go run fast because that's where he's at. So he's been part of the reason why I have trained. There's three people. One is right behind you is Chris Brockman, who's my producer and longtime on air compadre and friend

who's been telling me, you got to train. My wife's been doing that too. And Dion is so when he's sitting in the booth and when I look poor running and it's not good, and in one year, he ran at his Leon sandcastle with the big Afro backwards. He stood stride for stride for me running backwards for the first 20 yards.

He just, he, he just looks at me with such disappointment that I feel like I've been, I'm, I'm, I'm no human being. I feel like it's so, I, and that feeling so bad. It just, and I just feel totally like I'm letting myself down and everybody down and make, and I just don't want to feel that anymore. Stick steroids. Yeah.

Except, well, I was going to say, what? Like if I were you, I would definitely stick steroids. But I don't think steroids makes you faster. Oh yeah, Ben Johnson, have you ever heard of him? Yeah. What are you talking about? Every, every Olympic sprinter of all time has taken steroids.

You're crazy, man. You know, you're right. Just Roger, you don't have the authority to check your piss? No. Oh, very good. You're good. What are you doing, Rick? So there's a whole major loophole.

You haven't suggested this yet? I'm not the trader. I would do it in a second. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not getting tested. Imagine if you just were under five, like all of a sudden, I know, you're just like sitting down.

The Brady Anderson guy. How do you like me now? So cool. It's like I get my 50 home run season to get the hell out. Yeah. What the hell? I love it. Six seconds every year.

I think you should absolutely do this. Yes. And I'm willing to help you. He's talking about the steroids. I'm willing to help you with the smuggling of drugs across state lines to help if you want it. Yes. The federal crime.

You don't, yeah. I'll take care of all the federal crime. See, now you're like Trump. Like you're going to own, you're going to own it. Yeah. You're going to own the shutdown. The guy is already on my tail. Yes, not my tail.

Sounds like you know a lot about Trump. You have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just going full circle. I'm bringing it back. You have access to steroids. When you get it to a certain level of wealth in LA, do you have access to drugs we don't even know about?

I do not. You live next to Jay Glaser. Now I'm certainly far. I've trained at Glaser's gym. Really? I do. Yeah. Do you have you ever fought him?

I have not fought him. No way. I would never do that. A little grizzly. But Glaser's a great human. Yes, he is. He's a good guy. Have you had him on this?

Oh yeah, we've had him a couple times. Oh, Glaser's just, he's a great human. Yeah, I actually think that he could beat up like half of the NFL just through sheer determination. And the other half he could threaten with the information he knows. Exactly, yeah. He's actually a great blackmail person. Have you said we'll have to remember that?

Yes, yes, yes. Are you ready for your intervention? Sure. OK. So is that a rhetorical question? No, I mean, this is a real intervention. Has anybody ever said no to that question? Listen, we're just-

Well, people who are not ready to seek help. Yeah, OK, ready. What you see here is just a couple guys that care a whole lot about you and we want to make sure that you're OK. So we're going to say some things. You're going to say some things and then it'll be done. I'm touched by that sentiment. All right, so I'll just-

It's just like a rapid fire. No, no, no, I'll read a couple- By the way, just so you know, the laziest interview style question that you could ever have is word association. No, this is not word association. Any time anybody- No, no, no, I'm just- I'm not saying that this is what this is.

I'm not saying with- Winner. Yeah. I'm not saying what- I'm not saying what this is- For the first 10 weeks. This is not what that is. No, but-

Yes, I agree with you. We were doing word association and then you went further and the minute you add more than one word, it's not word association. No, I agree with you. It's words association. That's like ice breakers, like the lamest ice breakers at, you know,

when you started a company. That's like word association for an interview. True, like when you're sitting down one on one. Let's do some word association. Yeah, right. No. OK. This is not that.

This is an intervention. I'll just read a couple of tweets of yours and you can tell me how you're feeling. Let's see. Direct TV on flight, but no Wi-Fi. So I can watch five hours of Animal Planet, but can't get an internet connection. Way to go, United.

What was that? No Wi-Fi is on United again. Queue United tweets saying it's coming soon. Queue your tweets about me wanting, all right, then, as you were. By the way, I used to be- I used to be- You used to?

No, I'm not. You used to be much? I have not complained about flights, except for the one that happened recently. I literally have it in front of me. Excuse me. An environmental specialist has just been called to board my delayed flight to supervise

a longer-than-expected cleanup. This is from two weeks ago. I know that. I know that. But the time in between the first two tweets and the last tweet is at least two years. At least. At least.

At least. I could find a lot of tweets. Come on, tell me. You have it right there in front of you. Yeah, I mean, there are so many that I didn't know. Like, I would start a speech sounding. No, I have realized. I have realized.

And by the way, you responded. No, you have one for 2017. You responded. Yeah. But she's, by the way, two years now. Okay. Okay. Damn.

So, yeah. So, yeah. I thought it was like 2017. But you responded to my United Tweet. I did. I was ready to help. And I thought to myself, okay, I understand that it is totally uninteresting to many people and also typical,

typical of the on-air person to bitch about travel. Okay. All that stuff. Right. Look at me. I get it. And I know when I hit send, it's going to be subject to derision.

I understand that. Okay. But you did respond. Yep. In this instance, have you ever in your travels, anywhere? Oh, you're going to do the thing where you actually say this was special?

Have you ever been on a flight where you have been installed in your seat? You're complaining. Only to be, no. Let me finish. Oh, thank you. Let me finish or pardon my take. I'm locked in.

I'm locked in. Yeah, let's go. Let's fucking go, Rich. So, let's go. So, have you ever been installed on a plane in your seat to be told that somebody has gotten so violently ill on the flight inbound that you are now taking on the same plane outbound, so violently ill that it is not clean upable

and to the point where it's something called an environmental specialist has been called on board to inspect whether the plane is still flight worthy. Have you ever? Well, stop it. You're a liar. It happened to us when the plane came in. It was too hot.

It was like 95 degrees. And we were really high, so we didn't tweet about it. But we, in our heads, we were like, Temperatures once is weird, man. But the fact that somebody is puked and the pilot uses the phrase violently ill on a spotter. It's odd, right? Yeah.

It's an outlier. Let me play double. I want to take your back real quick, Rich. Thank you. Because you have a blue check mark. If there's an inconvenience on the plane that you're experiencing, everybody else on the plane is experiencing it, too.

And we all want to know. You are the first responder. I am. Sticking your hand up and saying, Look at us. We need help. It's not about you. They're not going to fix your internet.

They're going to fix the planes. I'm sending up a social media flair. Yes. From amidst a totally bizarre situation to amidst Los Angeles International Airport, which is a large airport, but in the whole grand scheme of things, United States air travel, just a blip. A mere blip.

Somebody has to realize. Thank you, Rich. Thank you for your service. You're welcome. You're welcome. So I get a hold on a minute. I get off the plane. All right.

You're still mad about the plane. Yes. I get off the plane and the pilot is on a phone looking for the next plane. Like he's calling a freaking Uber. And I turn to him. I'm like, what are the odds? You're going to find another plane.

Yeah. And he goes, pretty good. And then this was about me. The follow-up question was about me. Admittedly, same plane. We're, you know, same business class cabin. Or am I going to, you know? I am not going to be bumped into 33K.

Correct. You know what I mean? Correct. So I need to know and make the same flight, same plan, same seat. Fine. Good enough. Good enough.

So I tweeted about it. Because it's an outlier. Yes. But, so are you saying you responded? By the way, very funny response. I'm always ready to get an environmental specialist in the house. And you went at Elon Musk.

Very funny response. Listen, I will always respond when a blue check mark is in trouble with an airline. I'm actually surprised I haven't been like, put on a no flies list. Because I've told like United, I'd skull fuck them a million times. But in the name of other people.

So you reformed. You reformed. I, I do realize. You used to do it a lot. I know. Yeah. I know. And I, I apologize if it offended you.

For, if it was offensive. No. I apologize to anyone who would be offended. I was like, last night I was sitting, I was lying in bed like, what do I, why do I always interact with Rich Eisen on Twitter? And I was like, oh yeah. He complains about airlines all the time.

Not all the time. I'm pointing out that it has been a long time. So you're reformed. I am a reformed blue check mark flight complainer. Yeah. You always will be now. This is something you can't, you know what I mean? No, I know, I know.

You can't just cure it. You are what you are. Yeah, you are what you are. I do not, I do not delete my history. Fall off the wagon. I respect your take. Still so bad about that flight. How many people do you tell about that?

Everybody. Yeah. I went on my show the next day. Had to. You couldn't, was that the first time you was violently ill? Got to get another plane because somebody puked so bad? Are you kidding me?

And then I saw the pilot prior to the next flight just chilling out. And I'm like, I've never asked this of a pilot before. Has anybody puked on this plane? I've asked. I mean, this is a legitimate question. Now that we're like, could you, what are the odds if a second plane in a row had to be canceled

or swapped out for the, nobody's, nobody. So I just said like, I kind of gave him this look like what happened? It was so bad. It got underneath the metal of, you know, I guess connections to the floor. They will have to remove the row. Take the carpet out.

Yes. Okay. It's not your usual airline travel mishap. We need some kind of special car for this. At least before we move on to the rest of this. Proceed, yeah. Intervention, which so far is not working. Yeah.

Well, you're cured. I'm cured. I've already told you that I came into this situation more of realizing. Yeah. Okay. So all that said, if I'm admitting that, can you at least admit that this was an outlier

and you've never heard this before? Sure. Yeah. I don't believe you're sure. Hank pukes on planes all the time. Yeah. On takeoff usually. When I'm sitting next to it.

We call that. I'll give you sure. What else is on your internet? All right. Yeah. We're wrapping up here because I know you got a show. You got three times. A little show.

Three minutes. Okay. The bio hike. Yeah. My little show. I got my little show. I did. Great stuff.

Who's your favorite character in Game of Thrones? Hold on. I'm going to write this down. Yeah. We've never seen an episode. We just want to know. So you don't care. No.

We want to talk about it like we know about it. You don't care. No, but everyone cares. You're making fun of my game. No, we're not helping. Yes, you are. Everyone talks about it. Oh, do you like the dragon?

You're like asking me and I'm thought to myself. My first thought was, okay, we're going to get in a Game of Thrones conversation. And then you just totally show. You both did the bit where you both swapped the next page on your notepads. You both did the same thing. Like, hold on a minute.

Again, you've got your pens ready. Like you're actually going to take something down. You just lick the top of your pen. Like you actually care about what I'm going to say. So I am not telling you. Who's your favorite dragon? I am not telling you my favorite dragon. Do you think this year, Khaleesi dies?

I am not answering these questions. Is what you're coming. I steadfastly refuse to answer any of your Game of Thrones questions. I would like to watch Game of Thrones, but we have not come around. It's well good. Enjoy. Yeah.

What else? This is the worst intervention ever. Okay. Intervention over. Oh, yeah. I've never had intervention before, so I've really got nothing to measure this one against. Yeah.

Oh, you're over? That bit's over? Yeah, that's over. It's over. The Game of Thrones is not part of the intervention. We actually wanted you to tell us about the Game of Thrones. Here's a good question I wrote down that crossed out because I knew it wasn't good.

What are you afraid of? Good question. What am I afraid of? Yeah. Like that. That's just in general. In general. What am I afraid of?

Biggest fear in life. Oh my God. Biggest fear in life? Alpha podcasters. I appreciate that. No, not afraid of it. I mean, everybody's kind of like afraid of snakes. Never beating Ohio State again.

Jon Snow dying. He already died. You guys don't care what I'm afraid of. You don't care what I'm afraid of. Like that's what we do, we do, we do. That's still nice. No, it's still nice with the rule. Guys, no, you're right.

That's what I do. No, no, no, no. That's why I crossed out. You're past the era of pardon my take being about provocative questions for which you do not care about the answer. And that is the bit in itself. You're better than this.

That's why I crossed out. You're better than this. This is right what we are. We've had really good in-depth conversation. I would agree with that, right? And then at the end kind of falls on the rails. Then you're now you're just asking me questions that you know my answer doesn't matter

because the thing that you're getting your audience to get into is just the question in my direction and you guys are better than that. Okay. So now let me have an intervention with you. Okay, hit me. I think this is what we're doing. We're finished here.

I'm done with the intervention. Okay, all right, we actually do have to wrap up. This has been a great time. No, but we can't end on this. Okay, we won't end on this. People also ask it's a, when you go on Google, people also ask questions about Rich Eisen. So the question people also ask,

how much does Rich Eisen make a year? Is that a good question? I look on those to click on it just to see what the actual answer is. And even though sometimes I'm like, do I, by clicking on it, do I perpetuate the fact that that's on Google? Right.

Right. It is not accurate. Oh. It's way off. The higher or lower. It's way. No, I'm not going to answer that question. Rich, this has been fun.

And we could have done this for hours. We'd love to have you back on. Do you have Rodger, can you tell us phone number? I do. Can I call him? I just have some stuff I got to run by about what happened last night. How did you get kicked out? I got arrested and interrogated by the FBI.

You did not get arrested and interrogated. Yes, I did. You did not get arrested and interrogated. I didn't get handcuffed, but I got interrogated by the FBI. And I was arrested and charged a criminal trespass. Are you serious? Yeah.

Just for asking questions, for committing the crime of following the First Amendment and exercising my right as a journalist. That's Todd Gurley. How come you haven't got a catch yet? I still don't think that's what an arrest is. Were you interrogated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation? By the FBI, two FBI agents.

Yeah. So I just want to call Rodger and straighten some stuff out. I have no problem with Rodger. OK. I just want to face to face. Just let me FaceTime him. Let's FaceTime him. There's a privacy hack where he doesn't even know.

I could just FaceTime him and look at his phone. You can make your face the dinosaur, those new emojis. I know that. Yeah, my kids do that all the time. Yeah, I do that too. Right. Roger. Yeah.

No, look, look, look. This is just my first appearance on this show. Correct. So next time. Let's build. Next time. Let's build Rodger, you know. Let's tease to make something bigger.

OK. We may become friends. I think so. Yeah. I think so. Is there anything else? No, that's it. I mean, we have a ton of them.

Are there any other questions that you don't care about my answers? I've got a lot of shitty questions on here that I'm not going to ask. You have a job to do. Save them for the next time. Yes. We do. I have a ton. Do you want to come see the trophy?

Yes, please. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go see the Lombardi trophy. Yeah, let's do it. All right. The one Jim Harrod didn't win. Rich Eisen was brought to you guys by Captera.

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It's actually 2019. So get out of 1989. Get into 2019. And also get yourself a Quip at G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash PMT. OK, let's do some segments. Thanks to Rich Eisen. That was a very fun interview. He definitely, it was funny watching Rich Eisen go from like,

he, we asked a lot of real questions. Then when he figured out at the end that we were just going to basically lob a bunch of random questions at him. Yeah. He figured that out. It's all the questions that we wrote down without really thinking through. Right.

That are at the bottom of our sheet. Half thoughts. And so yeah, you just, you empty the chamber at the end of the interview. We should start doing that. We should just start like announcing that. That's usually how I do my interviews. Announcing it being like, here, now we're going to do half thoughts.

Yeah. Because it's almost, it helps get everyone ready for it. Right. So instead of just tossing out a half-baked idea like I sometimes do, just like get them ready for it. Right. Lay down the mat so they'll be more comfortable. Right, exactly.

I like that. OK, let's do some segments. And then we have our review of abducted and plain sight coming up. So first up, we have Antonio Brown update. Antonio Brown has been all over the place. He was at the NBA All-Star game. Antonio Brown free agency update. Free agency update.

So he on Saturday said, ask AB, hashtag ask AB, answering 10 questions, real truth and real facts now. Now, I just want to point out that he answered five questions. So we're still waiting for the other five. That's not real truth. Yeah. So not real truth. But he did say he basically explained his conflict with Ben Roethlisberger.

Basically saying Ben Roethlisberger has an owner mentality and he can call everybody out, including the coaches. But then no one can call him out. I don't really think, Antonio Brown, if you want to go a certain route with this to gain public favor, being like, hey, Ben Roethlisberger is a dick, too. It's not really like we all know that. No one is sitting here being like,

you know who is really great to be a teammate with? Ben Roethlisberger. Right. That's never been said. Just an All-Star human being. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. There was nothing groundbreaking at all about this.

Right. And yeah, also, I don't know what's going on with him. I think that there's something off about Antonio Brown. The way that he tweets his sentence structure, there's something unusual happening. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, this one didn't really make much sense to me because someone asked him, what would you tell people that,

say, you only want a new team to get a new contract? And he said, not for the money, it's for the love of the sport, the commitment to win relentlessly, consistently, and passionately. Plus, they made 70 million its public record, not to be cocky, just truth. Time to play for my own team, AB84, the family. But you made 70 million, so you've already banked money.

You've already played for your own team. But he wants to play for his own team. But he also wants to play. It's about the commitment to win and not playing in week 17. Yeah, so. Got it. Yeah, I don't really follow his logic of anything that he's done recently.

But I do know that he is a free agent, and he was meeting with the other biggest free agent on the market. And it was Anthony Davis, right, down in New Orleans. Yes, he also did say, I actually still think he's going to somehow be a stealer, because someone asked who would be those teams that you'd like to play for.

And he basically was like, best interest is for first meeting with Mr. Rooney. Yeah. Ever, as Antonio Brown, the man, not AB84, the player in the locker room. But he was also acting like we were surprised that the owner hasn't gone over to his house at his house before.

Again, not that surprising. Also a little bit. He's the ambassador to Ireland. You remember that? Right, yeah, yeah. He had a bigger fish to fry. Also very confusing that there's two guys. It's Antonio Brown and AB84.

So you've got to let us know who we're talking to. Like who did we do the 10 tweets questions, but it was only five. That was AB84? Yeah, and then Antonio Brown will do the other five later. Got it. Yeah. Do you think that Anthony Davis is going

to end up bleaching that part of his unibrow that's just like right above his nose after hanging out with AB? Those guys just doing it all over together. I think so. Antonio Brown should be a look. Antonio Brown should join Clutch Sports and let LeBron tamper with his next contract. Yeah.

I'm not saying it's happened. Agreed. All right, next up we have similar to Antonio Brown for your agency update. The Bryce is right. Bryce Harper, there have now been more reports that it's coming. It's going to finally be here.

Bryce Harper is, it's alleged that he's going to be signing with the Phillies any day now. Yeah. For over 10 years, $300 million, which was what he turned down with the Nationals. So Scott Boris can save face maybe. And yeah, he's going to be a Phillie. What kind of binder do you think Scott Boris has set up for Bryce Harper?

I'm sick of Scott. He's got to have a filing cabinet filled with these weird binders. I'm close to canceling you, Scott Boris. Ooh. Yeah. That's dangerous. He's pissing me off. It's like, come on, dude.

Once he starts saying the number $300 million around me and turning that down, it's like, that's tough. That's tough to do. I just wanted someone to offer Bryce Harper one year, $65 million. She'd be like, come on, prove it. $65 million. I would take that if I would have him. Yeah.

In a heartbeat. Is she a load of teams that can afford that? Yeah. We also had Bryce Harper, if you are planning on signing with Philadelphia, just know you're going to have to deal with the Philadelphia media because Howard Askin, known police officer of anyone eating food in any type of press conference, he tweeted at Bryce Harper, not like just a tweet out.

He added Bryce Harper and he said, Bryce Harper, are you more interested in money or playing for a good team and organization? If it's about money, I think that motivation doesn't show me your desire to win. You know the Phillies are a good organization and team, so what's the issue and hold up? So it is about money.

Yep. So he just challenged your will to win and have it. And then he got dunked on by Keith Oberman. You know how badly you have to fuck up to get dunked on by Keith Oberman? Keith told a story about how back in like 1980, Askin was giving him a ride back to his hotel after I think it was the Phillies World Series and there was rioting and stuff going on in the streets.

And Askin dropped him off five minutes away from his hotel and Keith was like, Hey man, why can't you just like take me to the front gate of the hotel? And he said that United Press International doesn't pay me to drive you around. So it sounds like to him. Big J. It is about the money.

Yeah, it is. It's big time about the money. Howard Askin has challenged your manhood in what you want to earn, Bryce Harper. Welcome to Philadelphia. But yeah, I think he's going to be a filly. I think Bryce Harper will end up punching him in the face at some point.

Yeah, well. Which would be worth it. Yeah, probably. As a Nats fan and a Nats stan, I would be okay with Bryce Harper signing with the Phillies if it meant that he punched journalists in the face. I don't think Bryce ever going to get there. He seems too nice.

We did report like three weeks ago on the evening yak that Bryce Harper had signed with the Phillies. This is going to be over and over. Yeah, I mean we all know that this is going to happen. I feel like it's just, and the question now is going to be where Manny Machado goes because he's, and will Manny Machado get that contract just a little bit more than Bryce, which he loved to see.

I'm just doing a dick measuring contract. I'm not exactly sure how Boris is working this deal, but is it possible, given the structure of MLB contracts, to negotiate like micro contracts? So maybe Bryce could play like, we'll do half a year. And then he has an opt-out. And then I have an opt-out at the All-Star Bridge. Yep.

I think you can. I think you probably should do that. Yes, there's a million opt-outs. That should be the future of Newcom, I mean that's called the LeBron, just every year you can opt-out. Yep. And then get mad when people ask you where you're going.

That's the future of sports. All right, we have a, who won the trade? So who won the trade, Colin Kaepernick? He settled with the NFL and everyone decided to hop up and get in Twitter fights about something that, let's just start with here. If you have, whatever you feel about Colin Kaepernick, when that snooze comes down,

nothing is changing about your feelings about Colin Kaepernick. You've already decided exactly how you feel about Colin Kaepernick, exactly what he wanted to get, exactly what like everything means. And then you just went on Twitter to try to change everyone's mind, even though everyone's mind has already been made up. I didn't see anybody reacting in any surprising way whatsoever.

Oh, that's interesting. The fact that they settled, yeah. The only interesting reaction was Jason Whitlock saying that he thinks it's actually the real deal is that Colin Kaepernick will be the starting quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. That's the real deal. Now see, there's a lot of stuff that we don't know.

Like he couldn't negotiate anything in that settlement. And we'll never know. Like everything from this point on, that happens in his life. Go-karts in his backyard. Yeah, we could be like, that was in the contract. That would be in my contract. Every single thing that happens. Yeah.

I want a wet jump shot. Oh, that's because the contract. Reese's piece is on deck all day. Yeah, that's part of the settlement. Lifetime, lifetime guarantee. Yeah, so it sucks that we're not allowed to know exactly what's in there. But I gathered this from what Florio said, which was,

it's very common in these types of settlements to have a clause in there saying that he will never work for that league again. Ooh. So he might not, he might be in his contract that he'll never be an NFL player again. And honestly, I'm kind of okay with that because of how exhausting the takes would be on every single pass that he ever passed.

Every pass that he threw would be like an indictment of one side or the other. And it would just be a pain in the ass to deal with. He got paid a lot, by the way. Oh yeah. He got paid. Like the NFL, think about this. Nine figures at least.

I mean, people are, people are throwing out, I saw people throwing out. 80 million. I thought people threw out 80 million, 250 million. I don't know if it was 250 million. But just think about this for a second. The NFL actively like pretended that concussions weren't real for many, many years and then had to pay out billions of dollars.

They have no problem paying out a lot of money to make themselves not look like fools in the public eye. And if you, if you dug too deep into like the depositions that Jerry Jones, you think Jerry Jones sat on a witness stand and didn't say something incriminating? Right. He couldn't, he couldn't handle 30 seconds with Mark Lieber, which without talking about jacking off into his own shoes.

Exactly. Just the, just the email forwards alone from Bob McNair would have probably been enough to like, okay, done deal. Yeah. Jerry Jones' text messages are, like each text message is worth a million dollars to not be out in the open air. I feel like Jerry Jones just like writes what he's trying to text on his own dick,

takes a picture of it and sends it. Yes. Like every text message doesn't tick pick. So who won the trade? I don't know. Yeah. We got pretty far field here. Twitter, Twitter, people who think they can change everyone's mind.

That and people with strong opinions about Colin Kaepernick. Yes. One way or the other. One way or the other. They're able to cash in on it. Yeah. Over and over. Just, just run to the Twitter machine and, and try to convince, like seriously, tell me, show me the one person who is like,

Oh, that's interesting. Everything I thought about Colin Kaepernick has changed now. Mm hmm. No one said that. Everyone has made up their mind long ago and it's exhausting. And listen, hopefully he got go-karts in his backyard. Let's just say that. Let's just say that he, hopefully he has a good lawyer who's

thinking, Hey, what, what do I want? I want everything from blank check. Yeah. I was about to say that movie, by the way, in retrospect, very problematic. Oh yeah. He had like a, a 40 year old woman falling in love with a 10 year old child. No, that's not weird.

All right. Kauai Shoe Roast. So Kauai has, has launched his new shoes, the new balance shoes, and it's perfect. Mm hmm. Everything about Kauai's new shoe deal is so fucking perfect. He's got Times New Roman across the back of his sneakers that, and it just says like his name. Kauai on one shoe, Leonard on the other.

I actually just thought he has a label maker. And so he was like, Hey, I'm making sure that Jeremy Lin doesn't steal my sneakers. So I'm just gonna put my name on them. The shoes themselves, I don't even think they can be roasted because they're so plain. They look like the shoes you could buy. Like they look like generic basketball shoe number five

that you can buy at Walmart for $15.99. Yeah. They're the license plate twos. They just look like they're attached to the back of a Ugo. Right. So Kauai, good job. I love the marketing campaign where you just shush everyone and don't say a word. It actually, in a crazy way, is genius because Kauai Leonard, you are so boring.

The only thing I would love to see, if, if, if new balance was smart and wanted to make a ton of money, they'd have it like the old pumps. But instead of a pump to make the air into your shoe, it just plays Kauai Leonard's laugh. That would be nice. So it's like a greeting card that you can open up and has a noise on it.

Although that'd be a little too flashy. I feel like Kauai doesn't want a flashy shoe. He probably, he probably sent these back like several times and was like, just, this is my signature shoe. Just put my name on it. Wait, you didn't let me finish. The right foot has the laugh. The left foot has him shushing.

Okay. So you can just shush yourself. He shushes himself. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Please be respectful of my time. Yes. Exactly. All right. Let's finish. I'm surprised that they weren't Velcro actually. I could see Kauai being like a big Velcro.

No, because that would be, that would be, that would be too much of a splash. Would it? Yes. But no, I'm not talking about cool Velcro straps. I'm talking about like. No, I know. Old person. That would be too much of a small walking shoes.

Yeah. That would be too much of a splash. Cause it would just be too different. Kauai has to just go right. Each strap says Kauai Leonard. Kauai. All right. Let's finish up. We have been teasing it. It is our homework assignment. We have given everyone, I apologize for that.

The abducted and plain sight movie review. So before we start, let's just say this is a fucked up story that I actually think it's a good, it's a good documentary to be out there cause people now are like, yo, like start, like, obviously it's never going to happen this particular way because like state laws and all this shit, this guy was basically able to like go through the entire system

and no one said anything. But it is good that people are like, Hey, predators like this, this is their pattern of behavior. Yeah. They ingratiate themselves. So yeah, it's a story about a man that kind of tricked an entire family into trusting. Have you gotten this far? And the thing about him is like, he is one of the,

the I will say most talented manipulators. In a bad way. In a very bad way that you will ever come across. Like the fact that he was sleeping with the mom. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's get to the, we're going to go through all the what the fucks. Okay. Let's go through all the what the fucks

in a chronological order throughout the whole thing. So that comes a little bit later. The first what the fuck is right off the bat. The fact that he took Jan the first time and the family said, You know what? Let's not say anything for five days, five days, because they probably broke down or something. It's not a big deal.

Five days is a long, very long time. What the fuck? And didn't the guy's wife, didn't be his wife, like ask them not to report it. And they're like, yeah, that seems fair. What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, actually, even before that, the fact

that his wife doesn't really get talked about enough in this movie. There's a couple things that don't get talked about enough. The other is the Mormon church, which like somehow got a big pass on basically letting this guy just take advantage of a whole community. What about the what the fuck with the doctor that wrote a note saying like part of his therapy

is to sleep in bed with a daughter. And they're like, yeah, that seems legit. Dr. Nick. On top of that, what the fuck? The fact that they let be, which is disgusting to even say be the way they said it, like the way that she said it on the phone, like, oh, hey, B, you abducted my kid again. What the fuck?

Hey, do you mind bringing my daughter back? Yeah. No. The fact that they let him build their daughter an entire bedroom. Yeah. What the fuck? Well, and this is like him being a manipulator.

So he showed up at the house, like spent a lot of time in the basement with both daughters. I was like, tell you what? Wouldn't you like to have your own room? I'll build you a wall so you can have your very own private room for free. And the parents were like, what a nice guy. Oh, what the fuck?

All right. So she gets abducted the first time. Crazy. They don't call the cops for five days. That poor FBI agent, by the way, who's just like, yeah, I kept on trying to solve this case and no one will let me fucking do it. Yeah.

He didn't know what pedophilia was. What the fuck? Oh, shout out to the brother who's like, oh, well, yeah, we always knew he was a fucking pedophile. Yeah. But it's just so matter of fact. But great car salesman. Well, yeah, he said great car salesman after.

He really moved some vehicles. And I'm like, say what you want about all the other stuff he did. But that guy could put you on a geo track or like nobody's business. Well, guess what? The reason why he's such a great car. We knew he was a great car salesman

because he sold Jan's dad on jerking him off. Yeah. That was the ultimate. Like you are a great car salesman. You took him to a private area and said, my wife doesn't fuck me. Can you just can you just top me off here? Give me some relief.

Yeah. Just kid stuff was the line that he said, which is, I guess that implies that like kids are just out here jerking each other off the stage. I don't know. That happened way more too. Listen, that was not just once. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That was not just once. They cut a lot more on the dad's history. That was his moonshot moment though. Oh, man. That was a heat check for him. He's like, I'm so good at manipulating this family. They'll do everything I say.

I don't think he even needed to. He was just like, he wanted to prove that he could make it happen. He did. I'm going to take a moonshot, see if I can get this guy to jerk me off. And he did. That's where the church comes in and all that stuff

because the parents basically signed away saying they would stop pressing charges because B's wife said, if you don't stop all the charges, we're going to tell everyone you jerked him off and gave him some relief. Right. It was just relief. It was just kid stuff.

Again, now, do you think that the guy got any sexual gratification out of doing it? Because I don't think he did. I think he's just like very easily bullied. And he was just like, this guy wants me to jerk him off. OK, I guess I'll just jerk him off. So bad. So bad.

And then when she comes back, so she gets abducted, the first time, comes back. And then the mom gets in an eight-month affair and wants to marry the fucking guy who kidnapped her 12-year-old daughter and jerked off her husband. What the fuck? Well, everybody was getting something except for her.

Oh, my god. The way she talked with a twinkle in his eye every time she talked about him was disgusting. It was gross. It was gross. It was gross. And so gross. If he was still around, she would probably

still go with him. Yeah. Like, she was like, oh, you know, it was just an exciting time for me. He made her feel like good inside about herself because she had a husband who was willing to do things like jerk off a stranger. And this, so she probably doesn't have the greatest

sex life at all. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that. And notice we're not even talking about Jan because that's the most what the fuck. I mean, she's 12. She got complete, like, every single adult in her life failed her. Her entire community failed her.

And she, like, had no idea what even the real world was. The whole alien shit was the most what the fuck. That was, like, I might have to turn this off what the fuck. And again, like, that dude is such a manipulator that is, like, the way that he can get her to shut up about it and not say anything is by telling her that the world will end because.

I don't even want to get mad for it. So what was the deal with the, like, walkie-talkie thing? Like, the radio. I don't know. He just gave her a radio and would talk like an alien. They said the doctor gave him those tapes or whatever. Oh. So I think that the doctor was pedophile too.

The doctor didn't exist or he was helping him clearly. Right. He was clearly on board. I'm very woke on this doctor. The more I think about it, it just doesn't add up. So the, so. Well, they said he wasn't an actual doctor. Yeah.

So the kidnapper, the mom then falls in love with him. They drop charges because the dad jerked him off. Then he kidnaps her again. In between that, the mom put her on a plane to go see him at camp. To go hang out. Yes. Yeah.

Oh yeah, he bought a fucking family camp. Jesus Christ. What the fuck. And then, yeah, and then she wanted to go work there as a lifeguard and her mom was like, okay, sure. Well, no, they put up a little bit of a fight, which was like, hey, they said like, hey, you can't go there. And then she's like, well, I'm going.

And they're like, okay, fine. Okay. Another what the fuck moment for me was when he, he sent her off to boarding school when he abducted her the second time. Yeah. And he told the school that he was a deep cover CIA agent. And so they weren't allowed to like check into his background

or her background because that would like, I guess, uncover him. Yeah. His identity. And the school didn't even check. The school was just. Like I said. The school just took in.

Different time. The school just took in a girl and did not verify her identity at all. How about every time that, that, that B called the house and was like, hey, have you guys seen Jan? And the mom Marianne was just like, no, we haven't. Like you heard she's on hard times. Like it's good to talk to you B.

What the fuck? This guy abducted your child. And then you're talking to him being like, yeah, we don't know where she is. Do you know where she is? Oh, no, I don't know where. Oh, I believe you guy who abducted our child once already. Hey, I heard Jan is now a prostitute selling drugs.

She's like, oh, no. Oh, no. That's a bummer. We just miss her. The husband was like, oh, that's tough. So, and then finally. She was jerking off random guys. The brother, the brother was.

The awful life. The brother was by far the best character because he like just told it straight. And at the end when he was just like, yeah, he just drank all his heart medicine and killed himself. He's dead. Kallua. Yeah.

And that was it. And it was just like, wait, that was it. That was like our final what the fuck where it's like, wait, what did he just say? He killed himself? He said it's so matter of fact, you had to be really paying attention. He's like, oh, my brother, yeah, he's dead.

Great salesman, though. Him showing up to court like 30 years later was a what the fuck. That was some scary shit. Well, when he showed up to her speaking tour and would just question her and be like, you're spreading lies about me. That was insane. Shout out the motorcycle gang, though.

Yeah, motorcycle gang. Bikers defending kids or what? Yeah. Fuck. I love those guys. Those guys are sick. So yeah. That sounds like an office.

Bikers against child abuse. No, it's a real thing. They're hardcore. I love it. So yeah. Overall, like we've said, there's hyperbole, especially in 2019 where everything is the best, everything is the worst, everything.

But this is by far the most fucked up documentary I've ever watched. Yeah, I don't think anything's going to come close. I hesitate to even say it was good because it wasn't scary and disgusting and made you sick to your stomach the entire time. I couldn't believe these people were all real. I mean, and credit the chance, she seems like very well

adjusted for probably the most traumatic thing that could ever happen. Yeah. Fuck. What the fuck? We got to end with something different. That's just like a little palette cleanser here. Yeah.

The two people you can't blame are the two criminals that were in jail in the 70s. And they're like, I'll give you $1,000 a week to go burn down this place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What criminal would take that? Yeah. Yeah, be like, let's just go burn down this shop.

Like $1,000 a week in 1970? Yeah, that's like a million bucks. Yes, jackpot. All right. And then they couldn't pin it on him. That was the other, what the fuck? They couldn't pin their life. Right.

They told him that he gave us the money to do this. And then he got sentenced for rape and went to jail for a year. Yeah, that's right. And he was out in like six months, right, on good behavior. What the fuck? What the fuck? In other news, Rick Pitino's team won the basketball

championship in Greece. That's cool. That's pretty cool. That is cool. Rick Pitino's back. Rick Pitino is back. And that was 13 seconds of Rick. Yeah.

Wednesday. Or no, we have, who do we have in the, let's throw out the names that we have coming up sometime soon. So people can get excited. Action Bronson. Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes.

No, we're going to go to the combine. So we got a lot coming up. We got a lot cooking. Going to get that shrimp cocktail. Going to get that shrimp cocktail. You have officially, I want to say congratulations to all the AWLs and everyone out there listening because you have officially gone past the halfway point

of the worst sports month in- We made it. We made it. Almost. Almost. But that also means that we're like 13 days away from the three quarters year anniversary of part of my take.

Oh, wow. So get excited for that. It's our first year. Yes. And that was our little pallet cleanser. We appreciate you guys listening. And yeah, what the fuck? Yeah.

Just go watch some porn to get your mind off it. No, that's the worst thing to watch. To get your mind off it. Oh, pedophilia? Yeah, but not pedophilia porn. What the fuck? Fuck. Watch two adult men having sex with each other

to get your mind off that. Talking away. I don't know what to say. I'll say it anyway. Today is my day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love. Okay.

Take on me. Take me on. I will be gone any day or two. So needless to say, you're fortunate or like be stolen away. Slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me, still there to be. Say, Ben, sorry. Take on me.

Take me on. I will be gone any day or two.