Pardon My Take - Ryan Whitney And Paul Bissonnette, The Avalanche Win The Cup + Mt Rushmore Of Things That Change After Age 30

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

The Colorado Avalanche are your Stanley Cup Champions. We talk about the Cup run, the keeper of the Cup and Stan Kroenke's hot streak. (00:02:08-00:15:55) Ole Miss wins the title #ThankYouMintzy. (00:15:58-00:19:44) Who's back of the week including Russell Wilson's crazy throw at AS Monaco and Jake calling PLL games. (00:20:51-00:34:17) Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonnette join the show (Taped last week) to talk about the season, Whit's golf game and then we do the Mt Rushmore of things that change after turning 30. (00:35:41-01:37:40) We finish with Hanks list. (01:38:16-01:44:34)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's pardon my take, the Colorado Avalanche have won the Stanley Cup. We talk about that Ole Miss is national champions. We have Who's Back of the Week, our good friends Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette in studio. We taped it last week, but we did a great interview and we did a Mount Rushmore with them. Mount Rushmore of things that change after you turn 30. Great Mount Rushmore. And then we'll wrap up with Hank Stotz about what's going to change for him when he turns the big 3-0 and we're brought to you by our friends at Visible. What would you do with extra money you'd save from switching to

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No place to hang out or wash it and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to electric high brand new and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electric. It's part of my take presented by Varsity Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Visible. Go to visible.com slash pod and get unlimited single line wireless for as low as $25 a month. Today is Monday, June 27th and the Colorado Avalanche are Stanley Cup champions. Big one for the south. Yeah, the cup goes back to the south. Big weekend overall for the south. Yeah. Ole Miss baseball wins. Colorado Avalanche win. Roe v. Wade overturned. He's all dubs. Huge one. Throw it. He's threw that one in there. All dubs coming up. Listen,

I don't care who you root for in the NHL when you see this. Oh, I thought that was gonna be, I don't care who you root for. Yeah. I'm not to both sides of the issue real quick. No, back to hockey. Yes. Where we were. I was gonna say like, no matter who you root for, it's a great ceremony. Like seeing the person lift the cup for the first time, the team captain or like a long time veteran on that team finally get their Stanley Cup. It's awesome. That's like a top three sports moment. It's the best. The lifting of the cup, the passing around as they do it, you know, depending, you know, like the oldest guy usually goes first and they passes it to the guy who hasn't had a chance and the captain and all the stories. Also shout out the keeper

of the cup and the vice keeper of the cup. I don't, those guys are like trapped in 1980. Their hair was incredible, just flowing. I actually wonder, we should interview the vice keeper of the cup because that is his backup. So he basically, the keeper of the cup, who's been doing it forever, probably the coolest job ever goes around with the cup, chaperones around with the cup, even when the players get it for a day, he's there. But I do know that the vice keeper of the cup, the backup guy, I think he gets like days like three through five of the celebration when it's like, you know, just a few guys and they're all just blacked out and it's not as fun. So that guy's like, and you know, the cup has, the cup has

a curfew. Yeah, no, yeah. So the cup goes to sleep at like, I think it's 11 o'clock or midnight when they bring it back to Colorado, they'll be partying and then be like, all right, cups got to go to sleep, like got to bring it home. They pack it up. They've got that special case that they lock it up. And I remember when Ovi won the cup and he was taking pictures of it in bed with his wife. You have to think like the keeper of the cup was there with his little white gloves. He was taking pictures. Yeah, that guy's got to have an ironclad NDA. Oh, yeah, the shit, the stories that he could tell. I would buy a book actually by that guy. Now that I'm thinking about it, like coolest job, but kind of a shitty job at points because you basically have to be

around the drunkest people ever with a big super expensive piece of hardware and hope it doesn't break. Yeah. And that would be like that would be all time anxiety. Yeah, it's a tough job. It maybe not anxiety, but just like it would get annoying after a while. I think just hanging out with drunk people all the time. Yeah. But yeah, it's it's greatest tradition in sports, the Stanley Cup, the pass around the kisses. Everyone kisses that cup. Everyone's sharing diseases by the end of the night. Yep. The guys with the white gloves though, I anything you can do anything with white gloves on. And it's like the classiest fucking thing ever. If you ate a sandwich with like, well, Mike Greenberg, yes, and he is a classy man. Yes. And the Avalanche,

incredible team, like an absolute wagon of a team. I looked at it. So they didn't win the President's Cup. They finished second in points to the Florida Panthers by three, but they did have the most points in the Western Conference. They went 16 and four in the playoffs. They had a four game sweep, four, four and two or four to two against the Blues, four game sweep of the Oilers, four to two against the Lightning. They if you combine it all and you take out overtime losses in the regular season, they had they won a 78% clip, which is insane. It's pretty good. Like that is just they're also just awesome, awesome hockey team that deserves to win the cup. They're just super likable. Oh, yeah. Their team's awesome. Kadri after the game,

he said, everyone who thought I was a liability in the playoffs, you can kiss my ass. Love it. Love it. That's just hockey talk. Yeah, love it. I think that you're like completely allowed to swear if it's the Stanley Cup ceremony on TV. They just forget about the FCC. Yes, as it should be. Yeah, they're super likable. McKinnon was awesome. Awesome car wins the all the next Smith who we talked to Whitney about it. Like one of the he has a chance to be one of the greatest defensemen ever in terms of where he's at his career right now in the talent level. Yeah, he was just a beast. Like the times where he would just he would I feel like there was multiple times where I was watching and he would have like minute 45, two minutes and then he'd be sitting on the bench

and just like squirt of water, not even hunched over, still ready to go. Just like he those type of guys, those type of athletes, they're like secretariat. Like I wouldn't be shocked if his heart's like double the size of everyone else's. Yeah, did you see the Stanley Cup also has a fire Twitter account? Yeah, they put out a pretty good tweet. They said, turn the lights off, carry me home. Little nod to the all the small things fans. Damn. Yeah, that's great. And the worst award goes to Corey Perry who's now lost three straight cup finals. So he was on the Canadians. He was on the stars and then he joined tried to join the super team of the lightning going ring chasing even though he has one and came up short again. I that's brutal. I mean,

the fact that he has one makes it not that hard. Like it's different if he did not have a cup and it was the end of his career and he went three oh and three with three different teams. That's so fucking hard to do. But actually the hardest one anyway, so I don't care. The hardest one they had it was last year getting to the cup with the Canadians. Yeah, that's like the most unlikely loss that he had in the Stanley Cup finals. Yes. Are we going to do the or the Tampa Bay Lightning fraud stock? Are they a fraudulent dynasty? Kind of kind of fraudulent kind of Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse. Two is not a dynasty. They're not even a two isn't a dynasty. That's a fact. Yeah. But if they win next year, dynasty, perhaps. Yeah.

But then we'll debate is hot in the streets. What's a dynasty? Three, three and three and five. I agree for three and five seems right to me. Yeah. I agree that the Blackhawks were a dynasty. Facts. Um, yeah, the avalanche, though, they're fucking awesome. Yeah, I don't I like that was as impressive of a run as you can have because it was just it was just never like they just never really sweat. They never got to a game seven and they just trucked half the competition and Stan Kronke. Some people are saying wins a Lombardi wins a cup within the within six months of each other. Is he the best owner in sports? Stop the Super League. Arsenal fans. I actually was trying to troll troops, our friend troops, but Arsenal fans are feeling high and mighty right

now because I guess he's spending some money in the transfer window. Oh, so they just they're like, yeah, he's fine. He is good. Yeah. So maybe you got a taste of winning. And he was like, I just want to I want to keep winning, which that I never understand any owner that doesn't like I love the idea of an owner winning one and being like, Oh, this is fun. I should try to do this again. Yeah. Like what are you doing before it takes that moment for them to be like, Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of cool. It's better to win than it is to lose. Yes. They always say about Stan Kronke like a great, great owner, even better person. Yeah, even humanitarian. And the best mustache. A super villain mustache for agents. Great hairpiece. Yep. Just all around

all sort of gentlemen. Rich enough that no one will say to his face, Hey, that hairpiece is disgusting. Which is really all you need to do is a super rich owner is you just got to get to a point where no one would ever dare say to your face, Hey, that hairpiece sucks. Yeah. Mark Davis love it. Yeah, exactly. That's not a hairpiece. No, that's that's all natural. They would never sell that. But Mark Davis is in the zone where no one's like, Hey, dude, your haircut sucks. Yeah. To his face. It'll be nice to get there one day, hopefully. Everyone says it behind their back. Yeah. But like, would you care if you're a billionaire that no really is like, can you get to a point where literally no one ever says anything mean to you to your face?

It's also just an obscene level of wealth. If you own three major professional sports teams, I think he owns the Nuggets too, doesn't he? So you he's got four. I think he's got like pretty sure he's got a piece of the pie with nuggets. That's got to be awesome. Man, like the sports calendar is just you have a sport that you own a team that you own, like all year round all the time. That's pretty sweet. But he is the owner of, okay. Oh my God, he's the owner of the Los Angeles Rams, Arsenal, the Denver Nuggets, the Colorado Avalanche, the Colorado Rapids, the Colorado Mammoth. What even are these Los Angeles? Los Angeles Gladiators. Los Angeles Gorillas. I think we've gotten into

eSports. I screaming. I'm not done screaming eagle winery and vineyards. Oh, that's like Wagoneer Ranch. Screaming Eagle is like the best American wine. Yeah. Damn. Okay. Just own Sheesh. That's crazy. That's that's a wild like his life is perfect. It's kind of fucked up. They have it as owner of the Denver Nuggets because we know that's governor. It's governor. It should be governor. That's fucked up. But yeah, Avalanche. I do want to give a big middle finger to the sports calendar, though, because my internal biological clock is all kinds of screwed up. There should be more NBA games after the Stanley Cup's over. And it really makes no sense to me. It really is like a sad feeling to be like there goes the last meaningful sporting event for

a couple of months. Like you can, you know, baseball, baseball, but you can't you can't have the same feelings about baseball regular season baseball as you do of any playoff. Oh, the live tour. The live tour is back in action. The live tour is going to be electric in Oregon this week. By the way, did you see our guy brand less Chamblige got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? What did he say? He was lying about it was something about Charles Schwartzle basically not getting paid for winning that tournament. They were essentially he was saying that like all their money was up front and accounts like their winnings when they win an actual tournament counts against their guaranteed money. And then I forget his name. Can you look it up? So there's

a caddy, the caddy who does stuff on ESPN. Very funny guy. Oh, yeah, that guy's he was like, yeah, this is just not true. And then he just roasted brandless and was like, why don't you get why don't you go to why don't you walk the course during tournaments? Yeah, Michael Collins gets your facts straight. He was like, he was basically blasting him being like, everyone hates you. You're a coward. That's a good idea, though. Like, if anybody out there from Saudi Arabia is listening, I know we got a big demographic over there, but we should they should do the thing where they like pay everybody up front. And then they're just indebted to their indentured servants to the Saudis for the rest of and they have to win their way off the tour. Yes, that would be

awesome. Yes, or that's what it may he made it seem like, or they could just not pay them and be like, Hey, uh, Charles Schwartzle, you have to like go ask for your money. You have to like send your thugs over to get your money out of MBS's pockets. You got to go do an interview for your money. Yeah. You have to get that out. Yeah. Meet us at the embassy. Yeah. Bring your favorite journalist. Let's see if you can do it. Uh, but yeah, avalanche fans, congratulations. Today is the day. I mean, there's also the fact that it's like happening right rolling into July 4th. I'd imagine the parade is going to be what Tuesday or Wednesday. It's at Thursday. Thursday. Oh, that's even better. Yeah. So you just don't go into your last week on when last work, uh,

of the week on Wednesday, and then just roll for like a week and a half. Just just maybe having fun and just drinking where the cup could possibly be. Maybe just duck out of work early on Wednesday. Get a head start on Thursday. Get all you got to go to the grocery store, get all your provisions for the parade, then go to the parade Thursday, take off work Friday, then you have Monday off anyway. That's that's actually great. They did it Thursday because parades like early in the week suck. Yeah, I agree. Good job. Good job. Parades are the worst. Yeah. Probably another master stroke by Stan Crocky. Yeah. Guy just keeps winning. Oh, we also got a backup commissioner tonight too. Yes. It's the summer of backup commissioners. I know because I love booing Gary Bettman.

We had Gary Bettman stand in and it's crazy listening to him talk because you forget like what an impersonable piece of shit Gary Bettman is. Oh, yeah. Like all commissioners are kind of cut from the same cloth. Their job is to be just like just their wallpaper is essentially what they want in terms of your personality. And then they have a guy that noticeably likes hockey that's out there presenting the cup and it's everything up. It fucks everything up. It's like, wait, you're not supposed to have a personality. Yeah, you're supposed to just like stand there, get booed, and then let the guy take the cup. Yeah. Yeah. And we didn't we got robbed of our booing. Last thing about the Stanley Cup playoffs over under two and a half cups for this core of the

avalanche. Got to do it. Got to do it. We got to do this. And if you take the under it means that they're going to be disappointed. Yeah. It's going to be disappointment if they don't turn into their own dynasty. I'm going to say over they've been knocking on the door for a while now. They got a crazy good young team. I think they're getting exactly two Stanley Cups. Okay. Two on the nose. Also, Hank said that Nathan McKinnon's legacy took a hit because you win the consmith. You stand by that. People are asking. You see the Steph Curry. It was the NHL. It was a very, it was a very good like natural legacy comment right as the cup was being raised. He's like, hey, wait a second for real. Puck boys like Hank that know like Hank watches Puck every night

during every night. And so he knows that like that was Nathan. The big question was like can Nathan McKinnon get the consmith award? And the answer is no. Resounding no. No. Did he choke? Do you think like if you were to inject him with truth serum would he be like I kind of wish that we lost? Yeah, they choke game five. I don't know if this season's a success or not. They choke game five not winning it at home. Robbed them. Yeah. I really wanted a game seven because the other story the other ring that we handed out today Ole Miss baseball who was I think I saw the stat they were at 1.7 and 14 in SEC play barely got in the tournament and essentially our colleague Ben Mintz willed them to victory with a little help from Chris Castellini incredible run by them.

And I was like, I first of all, I was pissed that they had that game at three o'clock in the afternoon. Like I don't know why they're they're crowning a champion at three o'clock in the afternoon. And then I just wanted one more. I wanted either a game seven Stanley Cup or a Monday night winner take all college baseball national championship. We got Rob the both boys. I wanted the Monday night just because I wanted I wanted a full day of solo shine on college baseball. I never even knew that it exist until Ben Mintz told me about it. Correct. He's grown growing the game one person at a time. In fact, I've heard that if you see Ben Mintz around, he's going to probably go on his own Stanley Cup tour. We actually should hire a keeper of the cup

for Ben Mintz like just a full time watcher that falls him around with the gloves. Make sure everyone's a keeper of Ben Mintz. A keeper of a keeper of the Mintz. If you see him, give him a big wet kiss on the cheek. Yes, he loves that and say PMT sent me PMT sent me here. This one's this one's from Big Cat. Yes. Put two. That one should be on the lips. Yeah. I went I went to Pride Parade today. I noticed you guys weren't allies being there. Oh, my friend died. Sorry. I was at a funeral. Okay. Well, I knew you had an excuse. Hank, what's your excuse? You don't want to get too close to employees. You're probably going to fire because they're gay. I was just feeling really proud of the golf course. Oh, oh, golf. Would you shoot? It's not important. Nice. So you went to a country club

that is notorious for keeping out. I know it's a Mooney. Oh, yeah. Everyone's welcome. Did you at least play the back nine? Yeah. How bad did you shoot? Not good. What? Tell us. Tell us the number. 105. 105. It's pretty good. That's okay. For a 13 year old. Yeah. No, that's not bad. Tiger did that when he was five. Yeah, it was bad. What do you want me to say? Well, at least you're getting better. I'm trying to. At least you're getting exercise. Yeah. Exactly. That's a good walk. Yeah. Good solid walk. But yeah, congrats Ole Miss. That was their first, I think, NCAA recognized team sport national championship for Ole Miss. That's crazy. And they also did it a year after Mississippi State. And I know that our friend

Brandon Walker will think I'm trolling with this, but I told him this exact statement a week ago. I think that if your bitter rival wins a championship the year after you do, it almost erases your championship. Oh, completely. Because you don't get, you have zero time to gloat over it. None. None. It's like it's over. It never happened. It never happened. Especially the way that it happened. Like that was Mississippi State's first national championship in a team sport. Correct. And then Ole Miss gets theirs. I think now it's just Virginia Tech that's left without a title. That's crazy. Yeah. I've got a dumb question about Ole Miss, though. And I'm sure that everybody will tell me exactly the reason behind it. Why isn't it

Ole Miss? Why is it Ole Miss? I don't know. Why is it E? Just what they got. Yeah. Sounds cooler. Ole Miss would be weird. It would be very weird. Ole Miss, Ole Miss. That's good Ole Miss. But they, not good Ole Miss. They played, they played exceptionally well, like all throughout the college world. So they're the hottest team in baseball before. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But then now you've got all the people being like, well, they shouldn't have been in it to begin with. Silence them right off. Can't do that. Can't do it anymore. Can't do that. They won the whole thing. So sorry, I have to do it. Oh my God. What? What did you eat? I had chicken and rice, but I guess the chicken. Is it you problem now? It was always in me problem. All right. We'll call you for your

who's back. Jake's got IBS guys. Unreal. He's got Crohn's maybe. Pilly. Oh, no, I can't say his name. Nope. Swear, swear jar. Pilly jar. All right. I'm going to look up what Jake might have. Who's back of the week is brought to you by our friends at Skrill. Skrill is the best digital wallet for gamblers because it was built for gamblers. Sophisticated gamblers use it to manage their bankroll. Whether they're playing games like poker or betting on their favorite sports, they manage their bankroll using the wallet, which allows them to pay instantly and securely its payments without limits. You can access your bankroll with instant deposits and withdrawals and also draw the cash using your prepaid card. Let's just say Skrill is the best digital wallet for

sports betters. So it's a no brainer to create your free account right this instant. Make sure to sign up at skrill.com slash barstool to create your free account and complete the account verification by clicking follow the game after registering so you can start using their digital wallet today. I'm a little bit worried about Jake. No, he'll be fine. I feel like he's back on the hard stuff. He like sneaks out in the middle of shows to do no spray. Make sure you sign up at skrill.com slash barstool to create your free account and complete the account verification by clicking follow the game after registering so you can start using their digital wallet today. Hank, who's back of the week? My who's back of the week is throwback jerseys. So obviously with the

you know, NHL season come to an end, college baseball come to an end, no more NBA. It is now kind of that like get ready for football time. And I saw the Patriots. Are you saying football is back? I saw the Patriots. I saw the Patriots put out that they're going to come and wear their red throwback jerseys this year. And that was the first time I was like, I think football is back. That's a record new time. I didn't say the words. No, I didn't. I didn't say that. People are getting we're getting ready for football now. Football is back. Football back. Thank you, Hank. We're getting ready. We're getting prepared for it to be back. So the Patriots are wearing their red jerseys this year? Yeah.

Are they going to have Pat the Patriot on the helmets? Because you can now do two different helmets, right? It changes everything. I like that. I think the Eagles are doing Kelly Green, which is like they should always do that. My who's back was NIL deals because four star QB got $10 million from Miami. Yep, pretty good. He turned down, I think 11 mil from Florida, and he went with 9.5 from Miami. I think I might be outgunned with my let's let's make some sick t-shirt pitch to a bunch of high school kids that I slide in their DMs. I'm going to have to refigure this one. Yeah. So I think you have to shoot lower. You just have to like go for like two star recruits. Yeah, maybe Benchman tank tops.

He obviously signs like he's going to make more than that too, right? Yeah, I don't know because he's also just insanely rich because the Manning family, right? He's going to make money for sure in Austin. There's no doubt about that. But I could also see Arch Manning being like because they have so much money being like, no, we're still college athletes. We're not taking any money. I don't know. I feel like that was a pretty big deciding point for him. Yeah, it probably was. But he is it is interesting having a guy being that rich also like walk into that type of money. So good for Arch Manning. Good for this kid in Miami. Four star too, right? Not even five. Damn. I think it was like number 30 overall.

Going great for five stars. That's crazy. That's so nice. Tennessee gave that one kid like six milli. I realize now that how bad this is going to be for the kids if they suck. Oh, yeah. They're going to get roasted because there's always been the other just kids. Well, that's a five stars getting nine and a half million dollars and he stinks. People are going to fucking crucify that's what Arch has in his Twitter bio. It just says high school athletes. So he might just do that. He might just play for the love of sport. I'm just a kid. Yeah. All right. Who's your who's back? PFT. My who's back is quitting. Oh, quitting's back specifically. Jason Co crack. Is that how you say his name? The golfer. Oh, so he. Oh, yeah, I saw this. This was awesome. You remember

Vonte Davis, the guy in the bills that quit at halftime. Yes. So after his second round this weekend, he hit his second shot on the last hole 44 yards over the green into spectators that were on the road. And then he just like finished up the hole and didn't even submit a scorecard. Just got his car left and left to join the live tour. Love it. Yep. So great way to do it. It's awesome because then you don't have to talk to anyone. Yeah. Yeah. My other who's back is cigarettes because Jules are getting outlawed. Oh, thoughts and prayers to Bob on that one. It's going to be tough. Listen, if you need any advice, I kicked it. I kicked it cold turkey back in the summer. Summer six analog cigarettes are back. Jake's back. Jake, quick question for you.

Are you using again? No, I don't know how to go in there. We're good. It was pretty quick one. But yeah, a number of diseases and conditions can cause diarrhea, including viruses such as COVID-19, bacteria and parasites, lactose intolerance and digestive disorders like IBS, all sorts of colitis, celiac disease. Are you gluten? Do you think your mom's gonna text you after this segment? Of course. You should be like, what's going on, honey? No, because like this has been my thing my whole life. But yeah, the fact that it's on the show, like why couldn't my body have done this an hour? Right. Right. It's just synced up to the show. Yeah. And we're doing a super fast show today. Does that make it tough like in the bedroom when you've got all these

butthole issues? Well, he eats, but he doesn't get his buddy. Well, no, is that true? I don't know. Yeah. Oh, did you find out the Ole Miss thing? Ole Miss was the term, well, slaves used to refer to the wife of a plantation owner. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. So that's the three. Shouldn't ask that question. You don't want to dig around too deep for questions. You don't want to know the answer to it. Yeah. All right. My who's back is a wild things. Crazy wild. Bonk. What? You know the movie. Like you thought of that. That's a bonk on you. All time seen. That's a bonk on you. Not me. Wild Russell Wilson threw the first ever football at AS Monaco's practice field. It was wild. He did a whole Instagram video and he's like, check this out guys. No one's ever thrown a

football on this field and then he threw it. He broke the seal on it. It was fucking nuts, dude. Did people go crazy? I mean, it was a where were you moment. Like how the ball is like differently shaped from the ball that they've seen before. I was sitting on my couch while I was watching and I was like, wow. It was like watching, you know, them land on moon, on the moon, which was actually just a sound stage while I'm trying to find you. Yeah. Stanley Kubrick directed it. Here we go. That's true though, isn't it? Watch. And then, and then he threw the ball. That's crazy. Was it a good spiral at least? Pretty good. Let's go. Let's go. Okay. No, that's first ever. No, that's done. First ever. Listen,

they, I'm surprised they didn't burn them at the stake for being a witch when they saw that football because it's football. It's, they say football over there, but it's a different football. Right. Shaped differently. There's been a lot of football passes, but never a football. Wow. Crazy. And then my other, uh, who's back is, uh, Mark Appel, which is actually a really cool story. Former number one pick at the MLB draft. I always know him as the guy that, uh, let the Cubs get Chris Bryant because Chris Bryant went to pick after, but he's talked openly about his struggles getting, you know, mentally getting through injuries and all these things. Everyone called him the biggest bust ever. He finally got called up to the Phillies over the weekend. Very

cool story. Um, one of those like, yeah, sports are like sometimes things work out for good guys who are just grinding. Yeah. He's a pitcher, right? Yes. And so he had, I think he had Tommy John surgery and then he had shoulder surgery too. That's gotta be so frustrating for a pitcher. Like I'm surprised that more players don't just like completely drop off the face of the earth after they get Tommy John's because it's like a year and a half with rehab. So like the moment that you're told you need Tommy John or you need a shoulder surgery, you have to just accept the fact that you're not going to throw a baseball for like nine months. I think it was more. I think I saw a tweet where he was like, I, when I got my, when my shoulder,

uh, got fucked up, I, I couldn't play for 30 months. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. That's got to really fuck with you as a player. So good for him and also the, uh, brawl between the Mariners and the Angels was awesome. Yep. There should be more brawl. It's usually like right around this time of year there's another brawl. Yeah. Come on. More brawls. I love the second wave when it's the bullpen that runs out and it's like two minutes after the fights already started and usually been like broken up. Then you get the bullpen guys coming in for the second round of pushes. But there were actually some punches thrown in this one. Yeah, there were. Which was nice to see. And the Angels continue to be the weirdest team ever because I think Mike Trout

and Shohei Otani probably are one, two in terms of most electric guys to watch and no one watches. No one ever watched. It's crazy. It is crazy. Shohei Otani hit a home run the other night that was like jaw dropping and no one saw it. So we were talking about the, uh, the sports biological clock that your body has earlier. This to me, this, this is the exact right week to get a brawl in baseball. I just know a brawl is coming. The other thing that I know is coming this week is going to be an NFL news dump. Yep. That always happened to Sean Watson suspended for a year for a year, but also indefinitely. They're going to drop that one on us on Friday. Yep. Yep. Right before 4th of July and the Browns are going to look and then Baker Baker might be going

to Seattle. I would love to see big. I want to see Baker have to play for the Browns this year. I don't think he will. I would be. I don't think he has a choice. I don't know. He's not going to play football. Yeah, maybe. No, he would come off looking very soft if that happened. Yeah. If he was like, I refused to play football for you because you were mean to me. Yeah. No chance. He'll play and it will be very awkward. And I hope he's good. Yeah. I hope he lights it up and then everyone has to be like, shit, we signed to Sean Watson. And then, yeah, to what? So what if this happens? What if Baker gets them like to the second, third round of the playoffs this year? And then if he gets to the third round, right? That's yeah. I mean, the AFC Championship would

be insane. Yeah. Then Deshaun comes back next year and Baker just lit it up. They're paying Deshaun $200 million. But Baker, what if he had like a Pro Bowl season? Something to look forward to. Football's back. Do you see the pizza delivery portion of that brawl? Someone delivered a pizza to the Mariners locker room for Jesse Winker and he got the pizza and DM the girl. Thank you. Really? That's awesome. That is great. That's great. That's also the most like Mariners story ever. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he got kicked out. All right. Who's your who's back, Jake? I don't know if I missed anything. So I apologize for doubling. Yeah. The water dogs are back. Yeah. They won their first game of 2022. They smoked the defending champion chaos and Baltimore over the weekend.

So congrats to them. Great. Good job. Stay woke. Uh, congrats on doing your job. They have to give us a win eventually. One in three. They have to give us a win eventually. So like, of course, why not be like against the defending, the defending champs? Yeah. Hmm. A little too convenient, right? I was, I was this close to offering my portion of the water dogs up to Stan Kronke. Cause at least he would get shit done. Yeah. He would win. He winners win. I've said that if the water dogs get above 500, I will issue a formal apology above 500, not 500 above five. They've never lost with me in attendance. Has, do they, is that true? Yeah. I don't know whether I want you to go or not go. No, I'm wrong. Last year I went to Long Island. Oh, damn.

You did a great job on your call. Thank you. Thank you guys for all. I also want to say a special shout out because my favorite thing to watch it when Jake is calling a game, there's times where he, I think he knows that we're watching and he's very like particular. Do you know what I'm referring to? Maybe your co-host Quint Kestinich was like, man, this game's crazy. We thought there'd be 40 goals because I bet the over. He's like, we thought there'd be 40 goals with the way the first quarter went and you were like, well, hopefully there still will be. We're rooting for the over. And I was like, Databoy, Jake. Also, they put the lines, they put the lines right above the scorebog. I'm like, you're free to

talk about it. That's the future. Like there's no, whoa, no more tidbits. Whoa. Jake Marsh is the future. Wait, we had Jake Marsh calling the sport of the future while there was the lines. Lines of the future. We're just in the future. At what point do we say we're in the future? That was nice. It was wild. It was nice. Yeah, the future's nice. Like the broadcasters don't really need to tip toe around it anymore. No, it's out there, but I appreciate it because I know that in the back of your head, you're like, I know big cat has the over because he tweeted me and said that I like, I'd be very upset. So, and it was a good start to that game too. Yeah, not a great finish. And then archers didn't score in the second quarter. You looked extremely tall

on television. Thank you. I think the camera added like seven inches. Yeah, they look pretty tall. You were towering. Yeah. My favorite thing that Jake told me like a little behind the scenes nugget is they give you cue cards in case, you know, to cover virtually any circumstance that happens during a game. And one of the cue cards was for a TV announcer apology where if Jake had said something bad on the air, they had like a form ready to go where he was like earlier in this broadcast, I said XYZ. It was not like he apologized for that, but oh man. They were prepared for Jake to drop something bad. That's great. I love that. You should frame that at the end of your career and be like, never had to use it. Yeah. Knock on a watch. Yes. No, I'm not knocking

on wood. I hope you have to use. No kidding me. I want you to use it so bad. Memes wants you to use it bad. So you'd have a new template ready to go. I also want some really famous person to die during a PLL game. So you have to announce it. No. Your John Lennon moment. How does that work? So like in terms of sports hierarchies, like if you're announcing, I don't know, like a double A game or like a single A game or Savannah bananas game. And like what if, what if the president dies? The president gets assassinated. Jake has to cut away from the archers and cannon. God. Oh man. Now I'm not going to be so great. It'll be so fucking great. Yeah. Maybe more to come later this season. Yes. Okay. Yeah. All right. Do it. Great job. Thank you guys. Every time

I see Jake on TV, I do get a feeling like almost of like a proud dad. Oh, look at her boy. Big time. All right. Let's get to Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette. Great interview with them. We also do the Mount Rushmore of things that change after you turn 30. Very funny. And we're brought to you by our friends at whatnot. If you haven't heard of whatnot, it is a live stream auction app where you can buy collectibles, comics, and really almost anything else. They bring business and people together through commerce where sellers can host live streams and engage connoisseurs like yourself can bid in real time with live streams happening 24 seven. You never know what you'll discover. I'm completely sold on this thing. I love live auctions. And now barstools is what not newest seller.

We'll be going live twice a week on what not running live shows and selling never before and seeing auction items and what not exclusive. It sounds like a perfect place for the pile. Download the what not app and follow the barstool sports account at barstool sports. So you'd be the first to get notified when we go live. Use the link in the description to get $10 off your first purchase on what not. W H A T N O T what not. I am I'm sold on this. And I am also going to make sure that we sell some cool stuff maybe from the studio and the pile and the pile. I said that the pile what not. Check it out right now. The new what not app and follow barstool sports more stuff to come from our friends at what not. Okay. Here they are. Ryan Whitney and Paul

Bissonette. Okay. We now welcome on two of our favorite guys in the world. Oh yeah. There he goes. He's putting on the headphones now submission. I lost I lost three to one. It is Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette in studio. It's been a while since we have both you guys on at the same time. The old office. Yeah. The old office. Two on two no back checkers. Two on two no back checkers. We're kind of I don't know if you guys you guys probably didn't hear. You guys didn't hear our criminally horny. Like I get a lot of shit for being horny and I'm not. You are actually you should be locked up. Well actually I'm less horny now that I'm over 30. Yeah. Oh. Okay. So that's a preview. We're going to do the Mount Rush more of things that we're going to make it broad. So

it's things that change after you turn 30. So it can be things that you suck at as well. Your dick size. Yeah. Yeah. But let's chop it up. Or your belly size so your dick you just can't see. That's too optical. That's too. If you don't use it. You lose it. We actually were talking about how about this for a horse name. Leather Cheerio. Oh that's okay. All right. Imagine Leather Cheerio winning the Kentucky Derby. Leather Cheerio. Where did this come from. Am I missing something. He's one of my buddies from Wellan Ontario the way he described a stripper's asshole when he went to the sundowner back in the day when he was lighting loonies and toonies up getting them hot. It'd be great if Leather Cheerio was like a brown

horse that was really getting the mud too. Oh yeah. Disgusting looking horse. So we're taping this. The jockey was a stripper. Instead of continually ripping off your goggles he's ripping off the domers. Was that girl Mercedes driving the horse. Yeah his little horseshoes are just big condoms magnums. Yeah. I don't use leather Cheerio. I double bagged those ones. I was supposed to do that. What double bag. Friction dude. Tell me how to fuck my wife. Oh congrats. Congrats in the marriage. Yeah congrats. And the sex. And the sex. All right so we're taping this on Wednesday so we're there's Stanley Cup and we're going to run on Monday so Stanley Cup has happened. What. I just saw your tech. We're changing. We're doing the different format. Oh my god. Talk

about not being able to think on his feet dude. A half hour ago. It's all encompassing. By the way you already have guys doing teams. We're not doing teams. We're doing oh my god. Hank we just talked about being quick with it and be able to think on your feet. You're proving you can't do I'm ready. Big catch. Just I don't know. I didn't I get in the water. No he said it's the same. I think it's all gone to his head since he's been sent in court side. Yeah. No shit finals. Splinters in his toes. Stop thinking you're so big time and just adjust. Everything can still work. All right. But I was going to say we're so we're taping on Wednesday. We're going to run on Monday. So Stanley Cup final you guys want to give a prediction that's going to be wildly wrong by the time we get to Monday.

What will that be game. Tampa's coming back and winning this. Oh really. But I've been I've been on Tampa for the past two years. I picked them to win the last two cups and I picked them again this year because I won't pick them till they lose. So I'm not going to go against my feelings now because game three which just happened when exactly as I thought it would. Yeah. So if Kutrov's hurt now granted this before Game 4 knows it's going Monday. If Kutrov's hurt we could be in trouble but I think that now Vasilevsky's figured it out. Every series Tampa just gets better and better. Have you noticed now that you're a big time fucking TV star on TNT. Yeah you are. Yeah. Are you mean you want any shout outs real quick. Oh yeah. He said he thanked the whole. Yeah.

He thanked Turner Broadcasting. He doesn't even remember though. No. No. No. I thanked everybody because they were so kind and you know being able to mix in the chicklets and barstool brand you know with with a major network. And I mean maybe you're just a little jealous because ESPN pigeon tossed you guys. Oh yeah. You two got absolutely. You guys got pigeon. You want to know why you guys couldn't do it business. They gave you the sound. You're hired sound because we didn't go on other shows and be like hey I'd like to take the next 30 minutes to thank a company. Hey thanks to ESPN. We just want to say ESPN you're great. You should have gone. Mickey Mouse pound me in my ass and call me. Things that things that suck after 30 given

double barrel riskers to every company I work for. Business thank in the room though the people who cleaned his room at the four seasons in Atlanta. I was just sturking off stage there. They started playing the rap that shit up. Rap bag. Who was it. I think it was Tyler the creator when he was at the Grammys. They were like wrap that shit up. Get the fuck off this thing. What I was going to ask though like you're you watching the games now with like a professional mind because I feel like you're walking around giving like like hey who do you think is going to win the series. You get into biz TV mode and you start breaking it down. It's like dude I just asked like if I ask Whitney that he'll just be like yeah I think the lightning. Well he just

talked for a minute. I would say that I'd say that it's going to come down to pivotal game for winner of that game. I mean that's a game. Well that's basically a game five. What do you mean. We said pivotal means game five. Yeah. These guys these guys are trying to try to they're trying to mess you up. It's a pivotal game for fucking listening to them. Tap a ties it at home in game four. That's basically a game five. I think that I think that Tampa has a good chance of coming back in the series game. Game four if they lose it it's over. No way that they win. So if it's two to two you told me to fucking keep it simple and off the glass and out how Gil Stiles you made him spit on himself. By the way you could get biz you want his you want his

take on the series and then he'll give it to you and then you say all right now smoke this and then he'll be like oh brah yeah brah it's in the stands right in the rear so I'm on Tampa other state so you can get two different business depending on when you catch him during the day crack head biz and then you get home if I if I if I sit next to R.A. on the stream I become crack head business ship biz right like on TBS is like Chapelle like doing his standups and then biz on Barstool is like crackhead Chapelle from the skit Tyrone yeah business is there actually it's a good question to ask though is there a bigger swing that anybody in media has than sitting sitting next to R.A. on your podcast and then sitting next to Wayne Gretzky

that's a good question on TNT yeah yeah and then R.A. sent Gretzky home from the one time I got to hang out with him because he asked him if Adam Oates was a better passer than him I'll never get over that what do you happen you don't know this no yeah oh my god we had a night with Gretzky let me explain you had a million nights with Gretzky used to drink till freaking three in the morning together and tell all these awesome stories I had it one night after we interviewed him having drinks Wayne's telling stories stuff that he's not going to say on the podcast you know I'm being a little bit more not personal but he's not being recorded right and all of a sudden R.A. is talking to him for a while and I look and Gretzky just gets up he's like good night guys

I was like what the fuck just happened we have videos like what happened R.A. what'd you say and he's like I asked him if Adam Oates is a better passer than him he's got more assist than anybody else who's ever played hockey has it made Wayne leave man goes nice meeting you there's a lot of stuff you can say about Wayne Gretzky I always like to say like Ovi's a better score than Gretzky is a goal scorer well not yet but but you can't say there's no chance that anyone could ever be comparable to him when it comes to assists but is there is there like can you debate arrows like it obviously was more offense when he played right like because that's obviously a big NBA debate NFL debate like you know any passing record that happens now you're just like okay

whatever like they just pass way more than they they did 20 years ago yeah I don't think anybody's going to deny like the the equipment uh the the goal tending is obviously improved uh they didn't do butterfly right team structure the way that players handled their bodies in the off season with whether it was training or you know how much they were boozing but just given how much he was better than his peers at that time I don't think that we're ever going to see anything like it I think Lemieux was close you're seeing like Connor McDavid's basically what twice as good as most guys in the NHL but Wayne was like three times as good maybe four times as good as some guys he put I've argued that McDavid's is good yeah it's a tough one I think I think I think watching McDavid

and what he can do physically compared to everybody else yes we have never seen anything like that but the sheer dominance and the amount of points that somebody can produce and and comparable to the better overall competition it's just going to be very different Wayne was just so much more ahead of his time when did they start butterfly technique in goalie because that's one of those stupid ones in sports where it's like even the last 10 years in the NBA we're like oh yeah three points counts more as two you should probably take more of those like oh yeah doing I think that's a probably I think that's a very strong comparison yeah and the errors like what were you think goalies were goalies were it used to be get giant defensemen big power forwards and the goalies would be five

six like a bunch of Darren and a bunch of Darren Pang and if you went around he's a great guy and now the goalies are all Vasilevsky 6-4 you want a 6-5 goalie and you're willing to deal with smaller players that's completely switched yeah so I'm saying though it's like such an obvious thing looking back on it we're like yeah maybe a taller guy in like a net that you're trying to guard is smart or a sumo or a sumo right but but you don't even need the the height necessarily but having the long arms and the long legs that makes a big difference like any of these toe saves like you see a guy like Vasilevsky oh yeah it's crazy I know you couldn't have a guy that's my size doing that it's just funny seeing it all sport like even you could say NFL like the tight end position was like oh maybe

we should have our like biggest strongest guy go and catch balls where no one can guard him I don't I don't think one thing one thing is emphasized enough though back then it was like prison rules there was a lot more clutching and grabbing if you went around a defenseman that was 6-5 who probably worked at the local grocery store or lumber yard in the off season he would just come in with a full slash your wrist and he'd take off your wrist like legit like break his wrist boom good job yeah good defense right outside of defense you could you could use the guys arms hanging off no suspension yeah you suspend the other guy for being a pussy he's like what's going on he's got inflatable arms like yeah this guy's a china doll looking

outside of an iPhone they had to like take out the can opener that was the way that defenseman used to play one-on-ones where as soon as the four would come down you just put your stick in between his legs and you'd go whoop and they would just like fall and they that was legal dude you know what they should do they should have an NH like I know the NHL has done a good job of growing the game they've done outdoor games what if they just had an old-school rules game that none of them like none of the goalies can butterfly no helmet yeah like no helmet fight no glass just fencing with barbed wire on top everyone has to get shitfaced tonight before how great would that be the funny thing is if you go look so the 04 cup um Tampa beat Calgary

then the whole season was canceled with the lockout the following year then the NHL came back with completely new rules so it's actually biz and eyes rookie year yeah the game completely changed if you go watch game seven or any part of the cup finals of 04 it's like watching a game from 1950 yeah like the defense guy'll dump the puck and skate by a defenseman the defenseman just takes him and just pushes him into the wall and holds him there yeah or like the devils like the trap and everything yeah and Sean Avery just standing in front of Alexander Graham Bells on the glass the Sean Avery shit is hanging out that was an ultimate moment because there was nobody had ever tried doing that before and just one night he decided he was just gonna stand in front of the

goalie and just kind of like hit him there was an immediate rule change the next day they were like oh my god the Avery rule like only he could do that last night going back to the can opener I think they took that out in that lockout because Brian McCabe used to do it right before that all the time I think it was in 2000 you said 2003 2004 was the last year before it uh yep yeah we had another geography moment with all the A when I came to the studio I wanted to sit it out for him I want to I was gonna say what other what other rules should there be for this throwback game oh no helmets no helmets no helmet hilarious golly's golly's wear that you're allowed to wear that one you know like the Jason face yes the paper mache yes yes it would be I mean tell me that

wouldn't be great to tune in just like obviously player safety would be a big issue but it would be awesome yeah any any stitches you'd have to get with a rusty needle know what they do maybe they would give you hepatitis maybe what they do is and instead of so they have the all the regular all-star game and then they just have an all-star game of every goon on every team because they're not maybe not as many goons anymore but like guys that you know get in fights the war was the most memorable all-star game that you can think of yeah the guy who got John Scott so like let's do that and then it doesn't matter because there's a big bunch of tough guys playing slow hockey but it's hilarious to watch we we joked about uh well with Grinnell and you guys about uh doing something like

that where you you compete with the NHL all-star game where you ask like maybe all these old goons to show up and do and do like a charity game or yeah would be incredible well because a lot of those types of guys have a lot of personality too so you can say some pretty interesting stuff on the would you play in it I would probably try we should do a broadcast team where we we commentate I'm in yeah Jake Mars right here I'll wear the Don Cherry suit little throwback tell the geography okay so yeah so the geography it was a minor dust up it wasn't like a full-scale business it wasn't Colorado in the south it was similar so we were talking about you know the the end of the season awards that they're giving out and I was like do you think Austin Matthews is going to get the MVP

he was like yeah I think so because you know with Toronto they've got that east coast media bias and so Toronto if you know geography it's it's well no no he's right he's right about thank you are we counting Toronto you have no idea what you're talking about here no no I'm not saying it's not media bias I'm saying is that east coast media bias it's just being he meant eastern conference eastern time zone he meant eastern conference yeah it is eastern time I would say that I would say if you chop north america and divide it into three pieces yeah okay if you drew lines what would you call that down west lataturn time zones yeah we have three hours behind in LA two hours behind in Colorado four yeah eastern time zone yeah that's such a hot thing we like we have the united states

split into four and he's like no let's make it three three seems better so in that case you'd have the eastern and then the central and then west so this is mind-boggling the term the term it was coined basically on the people that aren't staying up enough nights to watch the western conference so they're just seeing the you know austin matthew's do his thing and then maybe not as many as mcdavid that's real that's absolutely real it happens with the heisman in college football when you're not like teams guys the writers who vote for the heisman the majority of them don't watch every usc game at night or oregon game like that's absolutely real so thank you I I agree in in the premise that there are a lot of hockey writers from Toronto or at least have spent time

dude they're gonna tell you what those guys had for pregame meal they could tell you the last only fans chick that they crushed they know everything about the players that's how psycho they are about it there that's probably why a lot of guys don't want to go play they're assigned there as free agencies you can maybe say that about Canada in general but when you go to Toronto yeah it's different there's just buddy the fucking whole rooms pack they're walking all over the logo there's about a hundred media members when yeah damn speaking of mcdavid if you guys are you guys friendly with him do you talk to him yeah yeah I talked to him a little bit what do you what do you say about that uh little little dust up on the street uh we just we don't really like to get

into the guy's personal life it's just oh okay well I'm just gonna have that we don't we don't hate we're gonna see an old video yeah it could have been an old video I don't guys I honestly didn't look into it much other than the fact that I saw it once and then we were like well we're not talking about it how about chivalry chivalry isn't dead he's helping a young lady walk down the street after a night at the bar that's a nice thing to do there was a puddle yeah and it was in the middle of the street that's dangerous it was a puddle just trying to get her to the car exactly exactly I haven't seen the video I mean you're such a loser you're such a loser if you're if you're loading that video on the big time loser it's just like huge loser I don't know but that speaks to

you know it wasn't in Toronto so I have no idea where it was right the hockey it was yeah it was probably 10 years people people people in media always bitch especially in hockey oh there's not enough personality there's not enough personality there's plenty of personality they just take advantage of it and shit like that is why guys are close ranks they just fucking close it all off the minute they get to the rink it's like a sonar system like they're not they're not saying a fucking word you get them as far away from the rink as possible and then then they start to loosen up and like did you guys ever get burned like because I actually agree with you like when you talk to athletes you can tell like you know like a rookie or someone who's like the second year there's

there's a little bit of a wide eye like this is awesome and then you know they'll go through a couple years and they'll realize oh you know I can get burned by people people are trying to take advantage of me people are asking me questions they're trying to get me did you guys ever get burned with something I never got burned on like anything like off the ice or anything but I do remember when I was in Pittsburgh and granted I was playing good when I was young and came to the league so I would give reporters quotes I actually enjoyed like oh after after practice or games I'd try to be not like the boring type of interview and then all of a sudden I started sucking and the same guys are like hey what's up wit what do you think of the game last night how's it those same

guys were just carving me I was like oh I guess it doesn't matter you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not at all friends with them not that I thought that but at any point time that you're not playing good they don't care that you've been a good quote they're still gonna bury you right so I was like all right well fuck especially in Edmonton I was like I don't want to talk to any of these guys anymore and that's why but it's their job to talk about how bad I'm playing so it still sucks though if you feel like you know the guy a little and he's like Whitney with another minus three pathetic game and he lost the he lost the puck and overtime and this guy's lost what is this guy doing it's like and that's kind of where it comes into like where I think podcasting a lot

of the popularity is like you guys do it really well on your show I think we do it well on ours where like we're not trying to burn anyone we're trying to have a good conversation let them feel comfortable to open up I got burned you got burned bad baby jones one baby jones I told us why I used to go on kupd maybe once a month and just like shoot the shit and I was saying stuff that athletes like who especially who are playing weren't weren't like really saying on radio back then I don't even think the team fucking the coyotes had nine fans right it's the yachts yeah so I don't even know what the team knew what was going on I don't even get to put their logo on the ice next year that's still up for debate that's not true shut the hell up I think we're doing they're doing like

this is their locker room next year your studio they're playing at Arizona state if so many people don't know it's going to be a good time they can't even get the logo on spitting chicklets is getting a box we're going to do a bunch of charity work with it so that rentable think we'll be flowing or that'll be a time the brew that's coming out it's going to be flowing it's going to be awesome that's how you know it seems like scraping the bottom of the barrel they're like fucking I guess yeah let's give them a box because we can't get rid of them and ride with in here dude I work for I still work for the fucking team over the organization I do I do between periods I do pregame postgame I do ambassador work I do charity work with the team the ambassador works amazing

yeah what does that mean to be an ambassador for hockey team it sounds like a great job he thought it meant he'd have to do like yard work for local fans no I do I'm actually building out the new stadium oh nice by hand yeah I gotta carry the moiter over I used to do that when I was growing up I used to help out with the bricklayer so yeah tell the story so they like wanted to hook me up with this baby jones girl and shoot oh I remember this yeah and so I know I don't have taken it out on a date you know we go back home we do our thing and you know the next thing you know the next morning I'm getting a phone call from KPD at eight in the morning being like baby jones saying that you have a small horn on the radio he's awful in the sack like I'm like

I mean how am I gonna go back myself up most of this is pretty true here so it was a game day it's a Chicago Black Hawk so I couldn't even go on and rebuttal but I thought that given the fact that I was giving these guys my time every every every month they kind of threw me out of the bus having her on I got teed up for for failure and uh you know it played out in the valley radio and I think everybody had a good chuckle but I didn't really give a fuck if it would have been in a market like Charon or something then then then I would have been hooped and that is like I might have had I might not have gotten laid for a couple years but but you guys do it well where you you protect the guys that you're friends with and I you know sometimes we'll get

criticized for it but it's like dude we're not we're not journalists we're not trying to like bust people up here I want you're like I'm a grower not a shower I was in the pool yeah like Whitney's coming in here bashing our friend Brooks Kepka who is suspended by the way I don't know if you saw that we suspended him from the wake of the year I don't I don't know him but he's fucking he's he's the definition of a hard he's the definition of a hard you just wish you were as good at golf I'm just following yeah you think I'd love to be as good as golf I'm no shit who wouldn't but I never would act on what he does what do you mean why wouldn't you want to be as I think Brooks what we like about Brooks is that he uh he seems to dislike golf as much as most of us

dislike yes but he happens to be really good at it and that's I think that's such an act I think that's such I don't think I don't think so at all I don't know that guy just seems a little painful yeah I don't I I'll say watching around with him his body language is yeah it's a bit a lot of nonsense oh your body language doctor now we're the experts on body language and what do you think of his body language I think he's an awesome competitor great nice human would you say Kobe had bought bad body language no MJ yeah exactly same thing winners that's your you're putting them in the same class as those guys look how much he's won yeah I don't know how I don't know how much wit wants to divulge but yes I have heard that that that he's maybe changed a little bit since all

the success happened is it a bleach chair you don't like the bleach chair that was tough look yeah that wasn't the best look but that's the experiment sometimes yeah you got it you got to just suspend him from your pot no he's just been from Blake of the year yeah Blake of the year being appeal which means yes it's basically just some some of the listeners don't really understand the move there is to just get him to come on and talk let me ask you serious question had had had you heard anything negative about him from other people on tour no no I don't know they don't talk to anyone on tour there you go no no the thing about Brooks is he did a very smart thing by having this rivalry with Bryson because everyone hates Bryson so even the guys I think everyone ended

up hating Kepka more everyone who was lukewarm on on Brooks is like well he's not Bryson so we like him there was a moment where he was so painful that I think it switched no there was a moment where he maybe went overplayed his hand because Bryson like is so incapable of like defending himself and not being a dweeb that people started to feel bad I think I think he got they lost him on when he lost it on the rep about was it puma rep or something he lost on a rep about his clubs Bryson that's where yeah Bryson did so that's where I thought Bryson had actually had the lead yeah and then being more likeable guy and then that came out and you're like oh my god this guy's not making easy on us that's what they can't get out of their own way yeah we said yeah we said

that from the beginning to Brooks like dude just let Bryson just be Bryson and you'll win because that's just an easy win because he you're right he just gets in his own way the one defense I do have though is I wouldn't it's it's easy to say but imagine being that famous and that good at your sport how you would be able to keep it on the rails and manage it and and not maybe in some cases look like a fucking asshole yeah like having the whole valley tell every you know yeah bb jones it was that bad was that bad three inch horn business lasted six seconds yeah it was like a sewing machine though it wasn't that bad it was that bad no the the performance was fine she kept getting a phone call from her boyfriend the whole time which she then all right that part which she went into studio

I believe with him the next day which was so bad that's that's awkward so she has to be like oh I had a bad time that's what was throwing off my performance yeah I'm like could you you know the boy was in the room watching it all yeah it was actually a cuck video that never made it on ujis.com so still waiting for that to come out she wasn't doing a very good job pretending she was stuck and then that got into my own head and I was like wait what's going on here I have one last question before we do our Mount Rushmore uh wait we had Danny Woodhead on he got to the like one step away from the US open yeah he did are you are you good enough that you could maybe one day get a step away I'm not saying get to the US open I think I could get through the the locals you have

to go play it's one round right that's crazy and then I think like a buddy of mine got through last year where I think there was four spots maybe even five spots to get through locals it's one round if you're one of the five best scores you go through and then you go to sectionals and then you have no chance okay then then it's then it's sectionals is 36 holes in one day and that's all the pga guys who aren't in the open already against Duffner yeah so it's like then you have no chance but the locals one especially in a maybe a place like Massachusetts where you're not going to get like you know you get great players local great players but if I would if you go out put it this are you go out and shoot even par that day it could be enough to get you through local right now I

don't know what I think he shot this guy minus one in the local yeah so there you go like it gets through minus one it's not like you even have to shoot like then at the sectionals through 36 holes you got to shoot usually like six or seven under that's too much golf to 36 holes in a day like I love that I would love yeah competitive that's a grind ball in the hole that's his wedding anniversary have you ever gone over 36 holes with with uh brunch in between no buddy buddy we went to Colorado to fall around the Stanley Cup finals this is how much this guy loves golf oh and on his wedding anniversary she brie came out he ends up golfing in the morning but that's your you know that's your day too yeah and she went she went to the spa and like

shopping like that's a hell of a relationship if you didn't meet after yes and you have a nice lunch we went to the game it was a wonderful anniversary that's beautiful I respect that she lets me do what I love and I let her do what I love that's love and go get massage but uh another thing uh you qualify for what the us no massam that's just local massachusetts amateur tournament that's like not us open shit's way different have you ever played more than 36 holes in a day yeah I've played 55 no one day we played one day we played at eastward hoe business course hoe eastward hoe and chat of massachusetts beautiful course we teed off at like 7 a.m played 54 holes then I went to my buddy's wedding it was an amazing day what a beast I can't

even get 12 holes in well we're in a cart yeah and I mean I'm not I'm not heavily drinking the entire time like yeah it sounds awful from my understanding in Canada they're starting to build uh uh 12 hole golf courses that's perfect 12 I think 14 yeah 12 to 14 is actually what will probably really grow the game yes and night golf night golf part three's where you can just yeah because like a lot of guys don't can't get away from their families boom no kids go to bed go at 8 30 play play a part three course two and a half hours drinks music that's what'll grow go that I'm in for that I'm in for that because then also you can what is it a light up ball no you just need the course to be lit up so it's like that's kind of the issue but if you have a shorter course it's easier I I hear that

things are starting to pop up like that more often but it's still expensive with the electricity bill yeah the ADD and invitation this can build it though because that's being an ambassador we should do a sandbagger with you guys oh I love that how good are you so bad yeah I just it gets a little bit less like a bunch of L. E. O. and Portland I lost six grand to L. E. O. and 14 holes and he made me pay what a scumbag of course he did of course he did it was so bad it was at one point we were down I think like I think I was down like seven or eight grand and I was like I should just quit right now and then we made a little comeback and I was like thank god but it was yeah it was very bad uh can I go take a piss before we start this yeah very small bladder I could do

it in a bottle in here if you guys want we should do that with that would be a very funny video I don't know maybe we split up the teams but like we were terrible yeah we have to do something well Hank's now like a golfer well he yeah he does he entertains clients on the course yeah he gets out there he's an executive we should have to make uh idiot billy football stand on the green he can't move so if we can hit him that's like an aspect that now you have five iron 200 yards I'm interested in let's just have him lay down you can't move hopefully dialing get him right in the forehead this is the other day he's got he said he's got liabilities he's a liabatic yeah he's a liabatic which is a perfect description for him he is he's got a serious problem you guys gotta

fucking figure that we did we sussied him I know I love that he's sussied yeah you guys have a who's the billy football of spit and chiclets I don't know I don't know everyone's me yeah the best you know what the best was because you know billy is billy and everyone knows billy but when we sussied him he was like good now I got time to do all the stuff I wanted to do the part of my take does the part of my take fan base like or hate billy I like them a lot of them like them so I think there's some people got got irritated because I feel like I really hate it so they feel like they split with the young kids love them they feel like he's got their dream job yeah and so they get mad because they're like oh billy is ruining his shot at the dream job I feel like kids I feel

people in there yeah like very young fans love them and then like fans that are around his age like early 20s probably hate a little bit that like they don't have that job and then late 20s like him again and then 30s are like this kid this kid's an idiot yeah so he runs again but I we've said he's add something to the show he's entertaining he just he just needed to get sussied yep yeah he needed a big sussied yeah who got sussied billy football oh yeah all right we're gonna have him stand on the greens when we play them in golf and just he can't move we should do a wife swap you guys get RA for a month and then we get billy football can we sussie him what do you mean can we sussie all right if RA walks the door and like sussied we're addicted to sussie yeah

we've we're on a two game you should get you should get the yellow car and the red car yeah you're out of here buddy have you guys watched RA on shorzy I've not I've seen I've seen the clips mates huh yeah well I've seen buddy I'd fucking if you have your mommy fucking you want me to send out I want them to be from the heart the actually soft I get it we've talked what do you think I've done that RA is watched yeah that's a good point you got a watch at sandbaggers no yeah it's not seen the town yeah I've seen it I'm gonna talk about it every podcast that it is very funny though that the start of the series it's RA like at the beginning of it it's It's like, here's our introduction to the series.

It's already talking about like, what was the first thing that he says? Like, oh yeah, that guy's a dirty player. And it's like, whoa, this is, it sounds, he's got a voice like a cartoon character. That's what I love about him. You can recognize it anywhere. Yeah, it's shit.

We're gonna get back to biz and wit. And second, before we do, they're brought to you by Chevy. The most durable, reliable vehicle on the road is the Chevy Silverado. That's right. It is as strong and dependable as people who drive them. I'm gonna be driving a Chevy Silverado in the summer at the beach.

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All right, so since Hank is not 30 yet, he wrote a list that he'll give it to us after. You're not 30? It'll be the world back list. No. Holy shit. Holy shit. Imagine all this kids accomplished.

He's still in his 20s. I've said it many times that when tank turns 30, it's going to be like an existential crisis for me because I've known him since he was 19. 18. Oh my god. 19. 19, yeah, so I've known him for his entire 20s.

Less than a year. Yeah. All right, so you guys ready? You want to start, biz? No, I don't want to start. Things that change after you turn 30. So it'll be things you suck at, just life changes, whatever. Just kind of a window.

I actually will start. I have one that I think you'll really enjoy. So it's going to be a snake draft. You understand that? Sure. So no chance. So you explain it to me. I got a hose too.

I should have gone with it. Explain to me how you think a snake draft. Why can't I just play my game and you guys? Well, because you have to play your game, but inside the concept of the Mount Rushmore. So the structure of the draft, how would you think a snake draft went? You're taking what you think would be the top pick

in that topic to not allow anybody else to have it and then explain a little bit why it is you made that decision. That has nothing to do with the snake. So then let's say you go first. I have one that's going to floor Big Cat. So you go first. And then Ryan's up next. And then me.

And then it's me after Big Cat. And then who goes? And then what goes after me. So things that suck after you turn to it. No, but wait, wait, wait. So who goes after PFT? Ryan went. Big Cat went.

I went. Now we've all foregone. Who would have that? You go first again. Yes, sir. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I know how the fuck it works. Come on, guys.

Well, you looked at us like you didn't. No, because I was overjoyed with my first answer and how much you'll appreciate. Let me do this real quick. Roback question. You get Q-zips, hoodies, polos. Go to roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase.

Roback.com. Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. What do you hate the most about wit? I was going to answer this. He answered while you were out. Yeah, well, you'll have to listen to what he said. I don't. I mean, nothing.

I feel like maybe sometimes he gets a little bit cranky in wines, but it's kind of funny. He's a funny whiner. Yeah, do you want us to tell you what he said? Sure. You got small peen. Why would he care about that? You know what he would probably say?

How much I asked him to do for work. What do you mean? Like, I try to chisel too much work off him. And he's like, dude, shut the fuck up. He's like, I just want to fucking golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Would you say that that's probably my most annoying

quality is I'm always asking for us to do more stuff and you're like, dude, this is a joke, like let's just do the part. But it's not it's not annoying because he's like making us money. So yeah, I respect the hell out of it. You have the dream. He didn't make the money I made playing Rocky.

So I respect that he's grinding now to make his dough. Like I I. Yeah, sometimes I'm like, holy shit. But you have the dream. I love you for it. You actually like if I had to pick one person who has the dream life, it's you. I mean, that I would I mean, you've interviewed a lot of them.

No, but you get to do the fun stuff, but you're also like I respect that you don't do like you could you could move to New York and work your full time. I'd rather be I'd rather be Billy football. Right. But you you you are like really good at managing like this is what I want to do. This is what I don't want to do.

You have the dream life for the record. I have an average size cock. OK, I just want to put that out. OK, it sounds like you're. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a record. It's I've never I've never had to give a press conference announcing the size of my penis.

That way. I'd like to thank everybody from TNT all season long. I'll be 20 minutes here, guys. Give me a few for the dick pump. They gave me to grow this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're bulging my crotch area with the HD lenses in studio. Did they explain to you what a snake draft is?

Yeah, he got it. I know what a snake draw is. Did you ever do one with Barso Chicago? Yeah, OK, I figured out what a snake draft was about halfway through that one. That was the learning. Yeah, that was where we learned. All right, so go ahead.

Let's go first first pick is right away your dependency on coffee after you turn the age of 30. That's a fact. That's a good one. I didn't have that one. That is an absolute fact. That's a good one. I mean, you're thinking you're taking

on more responsibilities, whether it's with work, whether it's the fact that you have a family. You know, if you have kids, you've got to be cranking at least four or five cups a day, even to just get your fucking day started. Big Cat, I see you post about it every single morning. So much coffee. And I know that you can really relate to this one.

And I'm sorry if I stole it from you. No, that's a great one. Most people in America can agree that your dependency on coffee, and it sucks because there are a lot of consequences to it. If you stop, you get headaches. Oh, there's days where you need to keep drinking it. So I have a cup right when I wake up,

but then I'll sometimes get busy or something and forget, because I usually have another cup around 10 AM. And if I miss that one at 2, I'm just like, what's happening to my body? Yeah, you're like, am I having a seizure? Oh, you need a coffee. You're back in your old lady. Yeah, I'm like, sorry, I need my coffee.

It's like, yeah, we should do that as a sketch. You turn it to raging bull. Yeah, instead of head off the desk. A bad drunk or just a bad non-coffee drinker. Man, what's wrong with you? I need a cup of coffee. You know that something kicks ass when there's a big movement of people

that try to tell you how to quit it, right? So now it's like a thing where people are like, I'm doing a caffeine detox. I'm quitting coffee. And they quit for like two months, and then they go back. And they're like, I just had to prove to myself that I could exist without it. Turns out it sucks going back to it.

Now I'm addicted again full time. Oh, why, you actually did that, or you're saying people do that? No, some people, I would never do that. But if that's your problem that you're trying to quit, like settle down, that's a pretty decent problem to have. I mean, they're gonna be way worse things we'd be addicted to.

Have you guys ever had a scientist on to explain the bad things about coffee? No, they always release, Big Coffee does a great job marketing because every three months, New York Times would be like, study shows that coffee drinkers live 10 years longer than everyone else. So they're doing a good job.

Would you guys start a coffee company with me? Sure. Okay. Be ready for phone calls. Let's talk. Yeah, this isn't. Why? Then it could sponsor your pod,

it could sponsor our podcast, and then we, you know, maybe one day, if they fucking say- We're really hurting for sponsors. Wait, so you're saying start your own company so that your company can sponsor your own podcast? Yes, correct. That's fucking genius.

That's double-dipping, baby. That is genius. That is genius. This guy's smart. This guy's bigger brain. Coffee today. I'd like to thank my coffee company. That's a good one-one.

All right, Whit, go ahead. I would say just the hangovers. Yep. I mean, this is like the one-one draft pick. It's awful. It's just, you can't, you can't, drinking, I say the drink is the only thing in the world, the more you do, the worse you get at it.

And over 30, it's like, I don't know. For me, this list, once we talked about this yesterday, a lot of it's actually 35 for me. In the last four or five years, it's been even bigger than 30 to 35, but overall, dude, I cannot, cannot go out if I have something to do the next day. And if I'm drinking,

I have to drink from noon to 8 p.m., get my seven, eight hours, I'm fine, but dude, if I'm up till two in the morning drinking, I'm actually done for like two to three days. Oh yeah. No, you know what it is? And you're right about the 30, 35 thing. I think 30 is when these things start to creep in.

35 is when they hit, like, eight. And I got married when I was 35, so that really, that really. I got my first hangover when I was 31. Yeah. And I was like, what is, what is this? What is this? What's this feeling? So I remember, I was just out of call, I say 22, I used to go,

we'd go out every Friday, Saturday night, say we'd train during the week, right? All the guys playing for it. We'd rip it up every Friday, Saturday night. I'm talking till three, four in the morning, Saturday starts right back at it. Every Sunday morning, I would play softball in situate, my hometown.

I'd go down and play softball, it was a 9 a.m. start. And I'm like, I can't even fucking move my body. I was out two straight nights, and then I'd play softball in 9 a.m. I wasn't even, I felt great. Yes, dude, in like bachelor parties, it's now three days, because it's like Monday, you're terrible, Tuesday, it creeps in,

and then Wednesday, you're not hungover, you just don't feel right. And you're like, I'm not normal. I can't tell you the last time I went on a bachelor party, maybe three, four years ago. I go on golf trips, which I guess turn in basically till it's a bachelor party. And then yeah, you come home,

and you need a vacation from the vacation. But I'm sorry to go long-winded, but drinking and hangovers after 30 is the biggest thing. It's easy, that's why you need EHMB talks, no days wasted. It's a good thing. It's a 20 promo card. And the delayed onset hangover is brutal.

Don't worry, it's so bad. I'll be fine, like. Weed can help that a little. Weed's kind of created, I think, to just like a little puff of your hungover, might help you, but then you're just like on another planet from that too. So yeah.

But you're absolutely right, like a great life hack, once you turn 35 especially, is just go out and daydream. Just daydream. And then go back home, have a giant meal on your couch, and then fall asleep. Pass out on the couch. Yeah, pass out on the couch, wake up, get like 10 hours of sleep,

and then you're at least manageable the next day. The rule I always go is getting drunk is still fun, but once you're drunk, it's time to go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beers one through seven are so much fun, and then when you're like, oh wait, I'm drunk, I'm out. If I have, yeah, if I know I'm drunk, it's the biggest Irish actually you've ever seen.

Yeah, out, out. All right, I'll go with another one that I think is high on the list, and similar to Hangover's Heartburn. Heartburn after when you get older, like it's just, it sucks so bad to have to actually think about these things where it's like, oh, I shouldn't eat these wings

at fucking 9 p.m. tonight, because I'll be puking in my mouth at four in the morning. We remember when we took, we were in Vegas probably three years ago, four years ago, and Hank had his first ever heartburn, and he explained it to us, and we're like, yup, buddy. The puke comes up. Yup, yup, yup, and it's like, it just hurts,

and you just feel like shit. Yeah, like having to actually think like, ooh, I shouldn't eat this this late at night, or this is gonna, like if I have a beer and a wing, like it's gonna fuck me up, so that's the worst. I carry around Tums now, like it's my wall. Yeah, so I recently made the upgrade from doing Tums and keeping Tums on me, to now I take the one a day pills,

which is like supposed to be. You just get ahead of it. You get ahead of it. It's like, okay, this is just a problem I'm gonna have to deal with. So for the rest of my life, I'm gonna just take like a morning pill, and then I'll be moderately,

I still take the Tums, I double dip on that, but it helps, so that's a big switch in your life when you realize, you just accept the fact, like my stomach's gonna suck. Yeah, like until I die. Yeah, and I think about like when you're 21 in college, you're like, oh, I'm gonna eat Taco Bell at two in the morning.

If I did that now, like I actually might die. It might be like fucking, who's there? Yeah, I think, I think, I think, Jimi Hendrix, you know, choking on my own puke. You just have to really change up your diet as you grow older. You don't even really need to exercise that much. It's more about the diet. If I have Italian with red wine,

and then chocolate after that, those three right there, those three right there, you're waking up at 2 a.m. with a rush of puke. Yes. Like a Siamese cat needs to shit your mouth. Ah, that's a heart bomb. Red sauce and wine or barbecue and whiskey. Either one of those combos.

Oh, you got two picks, Pia. This is tough, cause a lot of mine are off the board right now. Yeah, I knew Harper was on there. I had, I had digestion. Okay. Is that the same as Harper? Yeah, where it's just sitting in your stomach. Mine was also about my asshole too. It's like taking too many shits.

But I'm not going to say that. You can do bowel movements, cause that's guessing two changes. I'm going to say making new friends. That's a great one. Yup. That's a great one. When you're 30, you usually have your set group of friends.

I'm all set. I don't need any more friends. You don't need more friends yet. Trim the fat, actually. You trim the fat. Everybody, yeah, get less friends, as a matter of fact. Yeah, it's hard to keep friends. But when you meet new friends after the age of 30, it's usually built around an event

that's taking place in your life and not necessarily because you have something in common with them. You know, it's like, oh, this person works in the same office as I do and I don't hate him. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I guess we're friends. Oh, this person plays fancy football.

Yeah, I'll talk to them. I guess they're my friend. But it's not the same level of closeness. Cause I think what really makes you close with a friend is getting into trouble together with that friend. That's what forms that bond. And doing fun stuff. When you get over 30, you don't do that much fun stuff.

The funnest times that you can remember with your friends is not even like going out. It's like waking up the next day and like all being in a house together and like, you know, busting each other's balls. Like you don't get that anymore. No, you don't. Because the kid's got baseball.

Yeah, right. You gotta get the dry cleaning. Yeah, it's over. Good pick. Good pick. Oh, no. No, you don't know the snake. You don't know the snake, Wendy.

You're up again. I'm up again. So for my next one, I'm gonna go just sleep. Just sleeping. Sleeping is tougher. Yep. Once you hit 30, it's harder to fall asleep.

It's harder to stay asleep. When you wake up in the morning, you don't feel like you've slept the full night. It's just, it's not the same. It hits different after you're 30. Yes. I would do anything. Anything to sleep in.

To be able to sleep in. I'd kill a small animal. I would do, I wouldn't do that. I shouldn't have said that. But I would, I wouldn't have just set an alarm again. I don't need to set an alarm. I'll small an animal. Dude, chipmunk?

I'd kill a chipmunk. Yeah, yeah. Like a little bird, little bird. Like I'm just telling you, I don't need, if I need to be up for a flight or something at five in the morning, yeah, you need the alarm. But at six a.m., my eyes open no matter what. Yup.

And it kills me. Yup, yup, it's impossible to sleep in. All right, I got next pick. I'm gonna say that when you get past your 30s, something that really sucks is all the athletes you're watching are younger than you. And being like, like you start calling athletes kid and like shit like that, where you're like,

oh, okay, like, Luka Donchich is like 13 years younger than me. That shit just like kind of fucks you up where you're like, what am I doing? I'm watching like, you know, cause you grow up and you have athletes that are older than you and they're like, oh yeah, that's my hero. And then you get to a point where you're like,

fuck, I'm older than everyone in this league. Yeah. And that sucks. I don't think you can have a hero that's younger than you. Yeah, right. That's always tough to do. It's like thinking about like watching college like basketball and it's like, I'm rooting for a 19 year old.

I could, I'm double his age. When Zion got into the league and people on TV were like, this fat ass needs to watch his dad. It's like, dude, you're just like on television, like really, really caring about the body size of an 18 year old. Yeah, right, right. It's just, it fucks with your head

and it's just like, you have a moment, you're still root hard, but like you also have moments where you like step back and you're like, whoa, what am I doing? Yeah, am I gonna get hit with a restraining order? Yeah. What's happening? You know what's tough?

My body's shaming? Is when the first person who's younger than you retires, who's worse. Yeah, like what? No, no, don't do that. Yeah. I still think the college guys are my age. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, when you see a, like when you see the NFL draft, the quarterback that goes one-one, you're like, that guy's older than me. And if he saw us, he's like, hey, sir, Mr. Whitney, you're like, what the fuck, you were the same age, bro. Yeah. Oh my God. All right, your pick, Whit.

Okay, mine would be, and this has been a big problem for me, just waking up and something's injured. Yum. The injuries from sleep and like, I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, I can't move my neck. What the fuck happened? Oh, you went to bed. Like, oh really, this is what happens now?

Like I wake up, my foot, I can't walk really correctly. Like you have these injuries that happen from nothing, whether it's, I guess, sleep what I meant. Also like you can sneeze in like Sammy Sosa style, throw it your back. Like that's after 30, that doesn't happen in your 20s. So random injuries basically that come from nowhere. It happened to me the other day,

I woke up my entire left arm, completely not there. Yeah. I'm talking like not even pins and needles. I mean, like there was nothing going on nerve-wise in my entire arm. And then I do some research about it. I either slept on it really wrong or I've got like some injury that I'm just gonna have

to wake up with a dead arm once a month. And you'll never do a thing about it either. And it's also like just any, like I was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago and I woke up and I was like, my ankle hurt. And I was like, why is my ankle hurt? And my friends are like, dude, you were so fucked up. You were just euro stepping people

in the middle of the street at like two in the morning. It's like, why did I do like that? Why was I doing that? Why was I doing that? Like of course I'm injured from that. I was going to a golf, I was gonna play golf this was two years ago and I got to the road where I'm on the road and then I got a look.

I got a merge onto a road left and all I did was just go like this. But the slowest turn to the left and I couldn't even go play. I was like, I gotta go to the hospital. I just turned left. Another one is picking up your kids. Oh yeah, you're done.

Like I just, I'll hurt myself once a week just picking up my kids with a weird angle. You should hire a guy to pick up. Just hand me my kids. No, you can go in and lean in for the kisses but he has to continually hold the kids. All right, your pick, two. I was just gonna say overall like grooming and maintenance

in the fact that you start having hair coming out of weird toes. Oh yeah, nose and hair, yeah. The ear, I get these long ass eyebrows, eyebrow lashes. Oh dude, yeah it's bad. They're like this. Nose hairs. Well nose hairs and not only that but you got nose.

Yeah, you're really on me. I have a couple of hairs on top of my nose. His hair is growing on top of, go look at his nose. Man that's whiskey, that might be the beginning of whiskey nose too. Can we please post like a video or a picture of the hair that's going on top on the point of his nose? Dude, what do you want me to do?

I think you should start getting it waxed. Eyebrow combo. No, I'm done with that. The unibrow. I'm done with it. Do you guys pluck your unibrow? No, I've never had to deal with that before. No, so I pluck my unibrow.

I shave my unibrow, I do it all. Yeah, I think you do for one. I would be next to my wife on the couch and she gets up all of a sudden comes back with tweezers and it's just pulling ear hairs. Your eyes are watering, you're like, ah! She's like getting all these,

these ear hairs are disgusting. I'm like, what? I didn't know I had those. So, that's a great pick. I think this is the obvious one, sex drive. Okay. Yeah, yeah, you don't want to hump. I feel like just wearing like new balances,

kind of like all the stereotypes you see online about becoming a dad, like the big white ones, the high white socks, kind of how it looked like today. And just, I don't know, I just like, I'd rather just fucking not do it. Sometimes you have to remind yourself, like if I was 18 years old and I knew I could get laid and I knew that 30 year old me

would not take that opportunity, then you get mad at yourself. And then you're like, no, I gotta take advantage. So, you have to like almost trick yourself into wanting it more. Yeah. After you turn 30. Or get testosterone shots.

Yeah, it's too finer. Every two weeks. Does he really? Oh yeah. Really? Dude, we know when we take Barclays Sports Advisors if it's a testosterone week or not. Because he's screaming and he's just like so horny.

Have you ever heard of his rule? Yeah. The 15, 15, 30. Yes, we have heard of his rule. I still haven't recovered from throwing up after I saw him describe it. That wasn't the Harper. Yeah.

He does Barclays Sports Advisors with his kids in the room most of the time. His sons will be sitting there and he'll be talking about eating their mom's ass. Yeah. Okay, wait, you're up. While he's close talking to you with a hair in his teeth.

Kind of a tough one to explain, but I cannot for the life of me get around since, and this is kind of a post 35 one, maybe a post kids one, having to make plans so far in advance. It fucking kills me. I got, hey, you wanna play golf September 10th? I'm like, what are you talking about, dude?

I'm like, call me September 8th. But everyone I know, all my friends that are way more organized than me with families, it's like they have every weekend planned out for the next four months and I can't do it. And it's like actually creating stress in my life because like if I just did it, but I'm like, that's like me holding on to being young,

but anyone listening, you'll have a point when you need to plan out everything and it sucks. Do you have the big calendar? We got the shared calendar. Dude, when the big calendar shows up at your house, this might be relatable just to dads, but when the big calendar shows up at your house, it's a torture chamber.

But the only good thing about big calendar- Because she gets put on that, like he said, like in 2023, it's like, it's basically like, you know when like Alabama announces they're playing Texas in 2030, that shit goes on the calendar. Yeah, we have his sixth grade graduation in nine years. It's crazy dude.

So I do think about the big calendar though, married guys will know. The good thing is if you get something on the big calendar, you get it. It stays. You get it. So it's like, I put that in the big calendar. That's a fact.

When it gets the calendar, it just puts golf every day. That's the thing is like, you can use the big calendar to your advantage too. Because if it's on there, they have to respect what you've put on them. You're actually doing a good job as a husband and a father by planning that out that far in advance. But basically, so I mean planning your life on an advance,

I hate that and that's an over 30 thing. Yes. What about Thanksgiving? How early do you make Thanksgiving plans? Cause I made my last one. We do the same thing every year. I made my last ones in January. And that was tough.

When I had to decide like, and I started looking at flights and Expedia's like, sir, you can't book a flight this far in advance. Oh yeah. I'm always- That's when you know you're old. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's, oh the big calendar haunts me.

All right. This one, I'll have to explain a little too. Once you get to 30 and then like 35, you're supposed to like nice things. And it's like, you're supposed to like wine, really nice wine and like nice clothes. And like you're supposed to like these things, but there's part of you that's like,

I don't, I just want a fucking Coors Light. Like I don't- I'm still a piece of shit. Yeah, right. Like I'm still a scumbag. Like you're not, like you can't stay in bad hotels. Like there's supposed to be like things that you do that are nicer and your friends like nice things.

I appreciate you admitting Coors Light's bad. Coors Light is the best. Coors Light is the best. You shut the fuck up. It is the best. I'm a Coors Light guy. Do you know what I mean though? See you later.

Do you know what I mean though? You're supposed to like be an adult with some of your taste and you're like, wait, I don't, like I like a cheeseburger. I don't need to get like the tuna tartar and shit. Like ordering a cheeseburger at a nice steak restaurant or a nice restaurant, you look like a scumbag. Like I want the cheeseburger.

A girlfriend or a wife wants to try this new restaurant. You look at the menu, like there's not one thing I wanted at that restaurant. I want to go to the sports bar. Yeah, I want to get like mini fucking corn dogs and a big pretzel and just watch some games. Yeah, I booked us this non-alcoholic vegan restaurant in Sweden.

It's just like. Yeah, right. I should have sought on the fucking calendar. Dude, you have to, like you can't, like if I was just by myself, no kids, no family or anything, I'd just be a scumbag still. You know what I mean? Like I'd stay at shitty hotels.

I wouldn't care, like all that stuff. But you got to like nice things when you grow up. The heartburn's making a lot more sense now that you keep talking. The heartburn was a great pick. Yeah. What do you got? Suicide's not funny, but it would be very funny

if Biz actually killed himself because he had to go to a vegan restaurant. Or put something in a calendar. Not worth it. Not worth it. I don't mind vegan food, actually. So my next one, I'm going to go, hmm. You got two.

We got to rush to because they got to interview. Okay, I'm going to go with finding and caring about new music. You stop. Great one. You start. I'm struggling with this big time. Yeah, so when was the last time you found like a new band?

Well, music's fine now. I'm trying to find old music now. Me too. It's crazy. My Spotify is just all songs from the 70s and 80s. Mine, like the latest I go, I think I stopped really appreciating brand new music. I think the year was like 2011.

It's all junk now. Anything past 2011? It's like, yeah, I'll listen to it occasionally and I'll recognize the song. But then I'm like, no, play me some from the 90s. Like go back. I love that pick. That's a good one.

The key is finding a few friends that are DJs or have great Spotify lists and just have them send you over the list and you just kind of go through it and listen. And it's kind of fun because it's random and you don't have to do any other work to find it. It's kind of like the same thing of talking about an 18 year old that's coming into the NBA though.

Like I'd feel weird going to a concert of people that were all like 21 years old. Feel like a real creep out there. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. That's a very good one. My last one, I'm gonna go just dressing. Just dressing yourself in general. This might be more personal to me

because I have like what I call accidental six year old days where I get into the office and I look at myself in the mirror for the first time. I'm like, I'm fucking dressed like a six year old again. And it looks weirder as you get older. So maybe it's just like me not updating my dress style. What's that hang? What's that fucking smirk on your face?

No, Hank has a smirk. What is it? I mean, like he looks great right now. He looks like a six year old himself. You're explaining it well. But it's not like that change when you got over 30. But it looks worse on me now that I'm older. No, now when people find out your age,

like that's how you're dressed. Exactly. Like you're 27, at least maybe that's cool. Yeah, so it's like a personal thing. It's like not updating your dressing style whatsoever to appear less than adult. Yeah, I feel you, buddy. Yeah, that's a Rudy outfit, that's Rudy Junda.

He would wear that exact outfit that you're wearing right now. He'd look much better in it. I'm envious of your dress style. I wish I could dress the way you do. Or who are you talking to about that? Me? You wish you could dress like a child.

Like that's just how he's gone. He meant to say not feel shame. He's not having a wife. He's going to be paparazzi following you around now. He wishes he could not feel shame. You wish that you could wear jiggos. Like I don't think you've spent money on clothes since I've met you.

Yeah, that's a fact. I know, and I'm envious of that. A game I like to play is, what did I buy that I'm wearing? I think I bought these socks. There we go. Huge. I always buy, that's my treat for myself once a year. Nice new socks.

Stocking stuffer. Yes. All right, my last pick. With the gold coins. It's chocolate gold coins. My last pick is going to be, I watch everything in subtitles now, and I also like have found my, so this is like a combo of like just sound.

I have, it happened actually the first time I went to Army Navy last year, and we had like a Barstool sports book event, and I had to ask the DJ to turn the music down a little bit because I couldn't hear people talk. Because like I was trying to have a conversation, I was like, this is just too loud. So just the sound and like subtitles,

like all that shit changes, and you're like, yeah, this music, like having to actually say, can you turn that down a little, is such a demoralizing moment, but you have to like do it because you can't hear anything, and it's bothering you how loud it is. So that sucks. You know what the worst is?

Loud bars. Yup, I fucking hate loud bars. Yeah, and it's, I think I've always like not, I've never really loved being in a loud bar, but it's such a bigger inconvenience now that I'm older, and I know that I'm not a loud talker anyways. Like you're not stepping foot inside a club. If I, no, fuck no.

I went, actually I went into a club, like a month ago Hank, right? Went to a club a month ago, I was like, what do I do now? Oh, oh, we put your earplugs in. I stand next to this couch. Yeah, and like wait for the bottle service, girl. And then you pay 10 grand to stand there for the real estate. Yeah, it's like, okay, I'm gonna hang out

by this very nice looking couch for an hour. Can't even talk to anyone. Can't, can't do it. Awful. But you do get the sparklers. That's true. Yes. All right, your last one.

Oh, this is tough when you come to the end. I would say like patience in lines, if that kind of makes sense. Like when I'm standing around now, I don't know, like when I was younger, I don't know, I just kind of like waited there. Now if I'm at like Starbucks or something, it's taking forever, I just notice I'm way more,

maybe it's having kids, you just lose your patience. Yup. And I feel like you get it back, like maybe 50s and 60s. When you got nothing to do. As of right now, like my patience level is horrific. I skip, if I see a line, I'll just be like, nope, we're not going there.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, I just, I am always somewhat in a rush, I feel like, and it drives me crazy. Yup, you know what the worst line is? If you've already received whatever service that you're paying for, and then you have to wait in line to pay for it. Yup.

It's like, I've already got it. I'm leaving. I'm not paying for it. But now I have to wait in line to give you my money. Let me just hand you some money. Yeah. I won't take change. Let me wait to pay it.

I mean, you guys kind of like collectively took my last one, which is going to be your, your ability goes up. That's, I think that's fair. Yeah. In general, yeah. So now I got to think of a new one on this. No, I mean, you could do that one if you can think of other, you know, patience is different.

I would say that my early days, like, you know, in your 20s, you always want to be around your buddies and you're okay. And we talked about the friend things as well, like where I really, really, like you, I guess you enjoy your, your alone time. Yeah. So you are as irritable.

But I guess that wouldn't be something that you hate when you turn 30, right? Yeah. Taking care of your body, maybe a little as an extra one. Like just like, you're like losing weight. Yeah. It's like impossible. I'm going to go to the gym.

No, you're not. Yeah. Yeah. Like just trying. Yeah. Just being like, oh, well, I could put together a few good days in a row, but like it's not going to, it's not going to stay. This game on tonight. I'm going to drink.

Yeah. Losing weight. How do I not do that one? I can't lose weight. I actually, someone, I was on the elevator with Alex Bennett today and she was like, oh, you've been playing basketball. Like are you trying to get in summer season? And I was like, no, listen,

there's only two seasons in my life now. It's football season when I gained 20 pounds and then off season when I lose 10. So I'm just going two steps back, one step forward until I fall off backwards off a court. So in the 2035 season, you're going to be 410. Yes. Yes. It's just like, that's pretty much how it always works.

All right. For me, I think that there's a limit to my, to my body. I think once I hit 200, I think then it's all over. If I'm below 200, What are you at now? I can always, shit, I don't probably like 175. So if you hit 200, it's basically that's it.

I came so close last summer after we did grit week and we went to that wing place, wing nuts. And I fucking absolutely destroyed these wings there. I got home, I weighed myself. I think I was 195 pounds. And I know that once I hit 200, it's never going below 200. It's just going to be,

I'm just like throwing up my hands and be like, okay, I'm going to be fat from now on. That was my 220. And once I hit 220, it was 240 the next day. And it was like, you're never going. I think everyone has that number in their mind now that when they see it, it's like, okay, this is over. Yep.

We have an interview right now. Yeah, let's go. Bernie Nichols. Yeah. Let's, so what we'll do is wrap up. This was awesome. Thank you guys. We love you guys. Love you guys.

Who won? We'll put it to a vote on Monday. And then we'll have Hank say his list after, you know, during the show on Monday. So thank you guys. We love you. I love you guys. Love you too.

Love you guys. Biz and Whit are brought to you by Sport Clips. At Sport Clips Haircuts, expert stylists give you a champion cut that's guaranteed to impress. Sport Clips stylists are specifically trained in how to cut guys' hair. Next time you're in,

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but you'll look fantastic too. Sport Clips, the pros in men's hair. All right, let's wrap up. Hank's got his list from the Mount Rushmore. Great Mount Rushmore, by the way, keep sending us Mount Rushmore ideas. We have a couple of guests coming up that we're gonna do Mount Rushmore with,

including Kate, our favorite Marine. We're gonna do the Mount Rushmore of America on Wednesday. Get excited for that. And Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez coming on Wednesday. I know people have wanted that. So apologies for the delay. I had packed bars. Yep, that's actually a very, very good one

that we should have said because there's definitely a point that you reach where it's like standing for long periods of time and getting bumped into, your tolerance for it just diminishes to zero. Yeah, I remember when that moment clicked for me, you guys probably had a similar experience at some point, but on New Year's Eve one year,

and I had to pay like a hundred bucks or whatever to get a ticket, and then you have to wait in line about 40 minutes to get each drink. At that point I was like, okay, I'm done with crowded bars. Give me a hole in the wall where I can set the bar, talk to the bartender, that's perfect. It's actually one of my,

I think when we did the Mount Rushmore's hidden skills, I think one of mine was always finding a table or seats because I just lock in because it's basically life or death. When I walk into a busy restaurant or bar, it's life or death. If I can't find a seat within the first 10 minutes, I'm dead, I'm a dead person.

Pop in the top. Yeah, well that's just a weight joke. Are you talking about tarps off of the boys? Are you talking about convertibles? Physically getting your Jeep? No, I'm talking about taking your shirt off. Yeah. Like even if, I mean, I feel like

some people stay in shape after 30, but I feel like a lot of people are in shape and never trust a guy over 30 with a six pack. Yeah, yeah. So it's like that. So when's yours coming? Summer, I'm still 29. This is the last summer you can have one

without being weird. Right. Also, I think that it gets cool again to take your shirt off over the age of 40. Well, that's when you start doing testosterone and HGH and everyone's like, whoa, we see what's going on here. Yeah, or if you just get fat, then it's cool over the age of 40.

I like it that we now know like every guy who's super ripped over the age of 50. It's like, yep, cheater. Cheater. And then my last two are kind of the same, or I guess similar, but keeping up with the lingo and talking to people. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's cap. No, it's for real. Oh, God. And just talking to people significantly younger than you and realizing you're old. Yeah. Like you think you're talking to someone that's like might be your age or whatever.

And then they're like, I'm 21. And you're just like, oh, man. That was the moment today when I was at Pride Parade. Did I mention I went and did Pride Parade, ally? No big deal. But in the office, it was like all 23 year olds and I was in the mix and I had nothing to talk about. Like nothing.

Cause everyone's talking about the weekend and everything. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. But so yeah, you're absolutely right. Those moments really suck. It's also when you see like a player that gets drafted and their birthday is like 2003. Yeah, that was awesome. That was on your list.

Yeah, I forgot. Well, I can't believe we didn't do losing weight. That was very stupid. That was a big mess. Yeah, it does. It gets more difficult for sure. Absolutely more difficult where it's like, oh yeah. My metabolism, I can't just be like,

oh, I'm going to eat a salad for four days in a row and lose 10 pounds. That doesn't happen anymore. Getting up. Standing up. Standing up, yeah. Standing up is a tough one. Yeah, standing up, getting up from seats.

Just changing positions. Yeah. Moving your body from like either laying down to sitting up, sitting up to standing up, or standing up to sitting down. Yeah. All very difficult to do. I have to like constantly be getting up at home with kids.

And it's just, that's probably the hardest part of life now, is constantly getting up. That first move in the morning is tough. Cause you know when you like get home and you sit down, you're like, I'm going to sit down for an hour. Like I'm just going to sit. This is going to be nice. After, you know, long, hard day in the blogging minds,

now no sitting for me. Nope. I'm always on the go. Sometimes you walk in and you stare at the couch and you're like, you know, if you sit down, it's over. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're not getting up.

My son makes me sit on the floor to play with him. And I'm just like, dude, why can't I just sit on the couch? Sacrifices I make, what are you going to do? Oh, your bowels get bad? Yeah, your bowels get bad. For a lot of us? Yeah, that's true. I was going to say, I eat four salads in a row.

Look what happens to me. I think you eat too many salads. I think that's your problem. Your body is God is rebelling. Yeah, your body's weak. No, your body's weak. You got to start putting some real dog shit meals in there. Yeah.

To keep it strong. No, you wouldn't get fat. Come on. Cake marsh. No, they said it was cake because everyone loved them. Like, that's why they call them that. Yeah, that's why they called them that. Not because he was fat.

Don't say that, Hank. I'll take their word for it. I'll ask them, I'll repoll them. OK, we're going to do a repoll. Yeah. OK. All right, let's do numbers. Redraft.

Give me a 77. What's the gayest number? 6. I was at Pride Parades today, so I'm just coming in the mood. What's the gayest number? That's a good question. 3. Ask Joey and Pat that.

Right? 3. 96. 3. Is it? I don't know. I just picked a number. All right, I'll do 20.

31. 96. Great, great tight show, boys. Real tight. Almost too tight. Looks like it's going to be 89. That's 89. Fifth time.

Who's in the lead? 52 at nine times. Whoa, that's insane. And Hank with how many? No, I forget. It makes you laugh every show. I just forgot about the big cat draft thing where he took players within their birthdays like 2003.

I'm a forgetful guy. Anyways, parents will selflessly help each other out. They're the only bird that does that. Wow. Love you guys. Oh, I'm just saying, I'm saying it anyway. Today is an update to find you shining away. I'll be coming for your love, OK?

You're shining away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me. Take on me. Take me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me. Take me out. Take on me. Oh, dear, dear, dear So needless to say I won't say it But I feel so little weight So I learn the lines of games

Say unto me Place the better to be saved So we can come Drink on the drink Drink on the drink Drink on the drink Come on, come on, come on Things that we say

Can't be resolved Just wait a little while And breathe away You are thanks to God To the number you shine on I'll come with you anyway Take on me Take on me

Take me Take on me I'll take on you Take on me Take on me Take on me I'll take on you Take on me

Take on me On me Take on me Take on me Take on me