Pardon My Take - The 2022 Takie Awards With Special Guest Presenters Presenting 26 Awards Including Blake Griffin & Blake Bortles Competing In Blake Of The Year
Episode Date: July 27, 2022-Worst Collector of the Year -Twitter Reply Guy of the Year -Wild of the Year -Suspension of the Year -Worst Take of the Year -Text Meant to be Sent to Somebody Else of the Year -League of the Year -R...etirement of the Year -Southerner of the Year -Dad/Grandfather of the Year -Beef of the Year -Comeback Meme of the Year -Got That Dog In Him Haver Of the Year -Friend of the Year -Lib of the Year -Tommy Lasorda Still Alive Person of the Year in Memory of John Madden -Longest Injury Recovery of the Year -Alpha of the Year -Slap of the Year -Trend of the Year -Ratio of the Year -Preemptive Take of the Year -Blake of the Year -Listeners of the YearYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners.
You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's pardon my take, the 2022 Takey Awards are sixth ever.
Is this our sixth ever?
This is our seventh.
Seventh?
Yeah.
How is that possible?
Well, because the way the time works.
Wait, I'm going to do the math in my head real quick.
Wait, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
Seven years.
Seven years.
Fuck, man, time is going fast.
OK, so that means that.
Wait, did we cancel the takeies in 2020 due to COVID?
I don't know.
I know that we didn't want people to get sick.
OK, well, let's talk about this on the other side
of the intro, because people should.
I don't know how many people fast forward through the intro.
Well, let this be a lesson to you if you do.
Yeah.
You miss gold like this.
Yeah, and important discussions happen.
OK, so the takeies, the 2022 takeies,
we have 26 awards we're giving out,
a lot of great awards, including podcast listeners of the year.
Hopefully the AWOs get it.
Hopefully they're listening to all the ads,
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It's part of my take.
There's another one of our two sports.
Welcome to part of my take, presented by Chevy Silverado,
the greatest truck ever created.
Today is Wednesday, July 27th.
And it is the 2022 Takie Awards.
Yes.
The most illustrious awards ever given.
We are the most important award show.
Fuck the Emmys, fuck the Oscars, fuck the Espeys.
It's the Takies.
Respect to the Tonys.
Yeah, respect to the Tonys.
Yeah, Tonys, respect, respect.
Any local Emmys, respect.
Sports Emmys.
Everyone gets a sports Emmy.
Everyone gets nominated for a sports Emmy except us.
We don't want one.
If you breathe and talk into a microphone
at any point in your life,
you get nominated for a sports Emmy except for us.
Do we even tell that story publicly?
What?
When they were asking us, some of the behind the scenes
people at Barcelona, we want to go for sports Emmys.
What would you want to get nominated for?
And you guys were like, send them the John Cena clip.
Yeah, we were like, we don't want to get nominated.
But if they want to nominate us and only do it
on our John Cena interview, we're in.
They're like, if they get that.
What was your best interview that we should send
for sports Emmys and you guys were like,
send them the John Cena interview?
We are we are we are actively trying to never be nominated
for everything.
There was also one that was like.
People forget though, Jeff D Lowe has several Emmys.
He does. Yeah.
There was another one.
I can't remember what award it was.
They were like, hey, they want to nominate you
and you guys probably win, but you got to fly out and like.
Oh, it's like I heart.
Yeah. And we're like, nah, no, thank you.
That was your year two of being nominated
for best sports podcast on I heart.
And we're like, yeah, no, I'd rather just be at home
and not care about what's going on.
Yeah, particular award show.
And then they've punished us for the last five years.
I'm happy. Which fine. Yeah.
Yeah. I keep I love being a loser.
It's that chip on your shoulder.
Yeah. If we ever win an official award,
like with an award show that that means we've sold out.
That means we've been kidnapped.
So come save us.
Yeah. I mean, if you look back through history,
they gave Hitler person of the year.
Yeah, they did. Time magazine gave that award to him.
He got to host the Olympics.
Awards are overrated.
They are very overrated, except the Takies.
Again, yes, except for this one.
Yes, the most important award show ever created.
This is year seven.
We were just having that discussion.
We did we skip it in 2020 when there was COVID?
No, we did. We did.
We did one in 2020.
19 year old of the year was won by COVID-19.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Huge shout out COVID-19 cocoa.
Yeah. So if you if there was an AWL
who had a baby in 2016 and they also listen to the podcast,
that means that that kid is now in like second grade.
Oh, that's scary. That's scary.
That means there's an AWO. That's wild.
Who's going for seven in a row and he's in second grade.
They were. If you were a freshman, AWO in high school,
you're about to graduate college.
You're in college right now.
And if you were in college when you got your first AWO,
you probably hate your fucking job.
That's nice.
And you're going to get another one, though.
And you were going to we'll print.
We'll we'll give you.
We'll make a certificate that you can print out
and put in your office for the job that you hate.
That we hadn't hit puberty when the first take.
He said that's true.
You didn't have your first pube yet.
You got your first pube in 2017.
I was a junior in high school.
Yeah. Right. When you got your first pube.
Right. Exactly.
So congrats on getting pubes.
All right. So let's do it.
We're going to we're going to hop right in.
We have 26 awards.
We have some guest presenters.
We have the important Blake of the Year.
We have the podcast listeners of the year.
There's a lot of great awards.
Should we hop right into it?
Let's do it.
Should we do it?
Can you put in some dramatic music or something?
Sure. Yeah. All right.
So so put in some dramatic music here.
Yeah.
I used to play that song with my friends in a basement
and just play Halo.
What's the song to the last thing in the bar?
I want to stand.
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your love.
I'll be your everything that you need.
I love you more with every second and everything that you do.
I will be strong.
I will be faithful because I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning is true.
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to play with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever until the sky falls down on me.
All right. So there it is.
That's the dramatic music.
OK, let's do it.
OK, taking number one, the award is Worst Collector of the Year.
A great award.
This is a new award and the nominees are Guy at the All-Star Game,
who was this was actually a late entrant.
The Guy at the All-Star Game who was trying to elbow a bunch of kids
to get a signed ball.
He came on the scene late, but he made an impact.
He made a very big impact.
Logan Paul for buying fake Pokemon cards.
He bought three and a half million dollars worth of fake Pokemon cards.
He did get refunded, but when he opened the box, it wasn't great.
Stay well. That seems like a marketing tool for whatever company
he bought them from being like, look, they were fake.
It does. It gave me money.
No, it was like an NFT.
I think it was an NFT, like, don't buy cards.
Buy these non-fungible tokens.
Right. Yeah, exactly.
You can't fake these.
We have super valuable.
We have Darren Ravel for his Martin Luther King collection,
which on Martin Luther King Day, he produced.
He tweeted out my most cherished, cherished piece of Martin Luther
King, Jr. memorabilia are pages from the Wardens logbooks from the Birmingham
jail in 1963 when he wrote letter from a Birmingham jail.
King signed in and out of his mail 12 times.
Now, this is Martin Luther King being imprisoned and he's signing
document to just receive his mail.
What an autograph.
What an autograph. Incredible.
And I think he said he also had a Rosa Parks rookie card.
Yep. Rosie Parks rookie card, which was her but her NAACP card.
It was her card that she had to have in order to be able to vote without getting killed.
Yes. Yes. And that was the card he had.
He also, when he was criticized for this, he did clap back at everyone
saying, calling me a racist is cute on this day, especially.
I have one of the largest Martin Luther King,
Jr. collections in the world and some of my closest friends are black.
He did tweet that.
It's rare that you get to see that sound like that.
You get to see that in real life these days.
Yes. Yes. He also it's.
Yeah, he deleted that one because he realized how stupid it sounded.
Also, because he probably does not have any close friends that are black.
Yeah, he's going to have to produce a black friend.
And everyone's like, oh, shit.
I really, Darren, you really got yourself in the mud on this one.
Yeah. The shirt that Malcolm X was wearing when he was assassinated is not
counted as a black friend.
He then went on a Twitter space to defend himself.
It was a Miami Hurricanes Twitter space.
Let's play that real quick.
Everybody can get on the same page.
Sure, I have I have over nine MLK items.
I am a humongous fan of what he's done.
And over the last seven years, I've collected a lot of things.
It's not only MLK.
It's a lot of black history.
I own a Rosa Parks signed NAACP card.
So it was pretty shocking today how I was called racist.
Um, when when I am a student and lover of black history, and it was it was
I never expected the reaction that I got today.
Of course not. No, this is the best part.
Hold on, because he's done.
I'm so I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if people think that a white man can't enjoy black history.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
I'm sorry if people think that a white man can't love Martin Luther King.
But to me, that seems pretty counterintuitive.
And see, Darren is over his life.
He's racist to think that he's racist.
Darren is over over his lifetime in expecting the backlash that he receives.
Yes, yes.
He not once has ever anticipated people getting mad at him.
Yeah.
So he's nominated for his Martin Luther King collection.
He also is nominated double nominee for his check collection.
So he also has collected famous checks.
I went through it.
Some of the famous checks he has is Ted Williams paying for his life insurance,
a check from the minor league affiliate of the Yankees to John Elway.
He still have to pay that because he might still be.
Yeah, he might still be alive.
His head might be alive.
That's true. Good point, Hank.
Jackie Robinson paying rent in his apartment in Brooklyn, Muhammad
Ata purchasing a one way ticket on American Airlines Flight 11
and the Raiders paying John Matt.
So are you joking about the Muhammad Ata?
I am. But you could.
You it actually wouldn't be that crazy for Darren Ravel.
Be like, look at this, guys.
On September 10th, 2011, Muhammad Ata bought a plane ticket.
Yeah.
This is the first purchase actually ever made by the public investment fund.
Yeah. Yeah.
So he is he is.
It's a piece of sports history.
I wouldn't.
Dude, if he did that, I don't think anyone could be shocked.
No, I was like, normally, I would understand that that was clearly a joke.
Yeah. And I was like, you know, no, Darren's probably
listening to this show right now or at least the part that that his friend
cut up when we talk about him.
And he's probably like, you know what, I would I would actually really like
to get my hands on that flight out of Logan.
Yeah. Has anyone found the credit card
that Lee Harvey Oswald used to buy the gun to kill JFK?
Because I'm in I'm interested.
I do like some of his collectibles.
Oh, yeah. I'm sure.
Absolutely. Some of it's interesting.
When he bought the Viagra bottle from Hugh Hefner's estate.
That was kind of cool.
So ridiculous.
But like sometimes he has him for every day.
Yeah, it's like today is like whatever, whatever day it is,
he has some type of memorabilia.
I don't think that as a society, we talk enough about the fact
that collecting signatures is just fucking weird.
Yeah, especially if you have a picture and you're like,
hey, can you write your name on this picture that I have of you?
Like what the fuck?
Well, why is who decided that that was something that would be valuable?
I do think that the selfies have taken the place of it,
which is way more meaningful to be like, here is me with this person,
not here is me. Here is a signature from this.
Yeah. Hey, will you write your name on this picture that I have of you?
Right. It's fucking. It's weird.
Yeah. Think about it from like an abstract point of view.
Yes. It absolutely is weird.
OK, so people forget I have a job here because of him.
That's true.
So he has done something positive.
Yes. Thank you, Darren.
All right. So the winner.
We actually collected the Darren Revell.
Yeah. Yeah.
The winner drum roll.
Is Darren Revell and his Martin Luther King, Jr. collect.
All right. Wow. Incredible.
Over nine.
Over nine pieces of Martin Luther King, Jr.
That is it. Is it 10?
The over under has said it at exactly 10.
It's got to be 10. It has to be 10.
It might even be nine.
He might have. He might just be lying.
He might just be nine.
Yeah, I think he said over nine and it's exactly at nine.
But if you count each signature when he was getting his commissary while in jail,
yeah, right. That would count as upwards of 16.
That's true.
He's got the documents of the CIA when they plan to assassinate him.
That's cool. FBI.
Oh, the FBI. Yeah.
Same thing. Probably together.
Probably all of them together.
Yeah. All right.
So that is our first award.
PFT, you are presenting our next award.
OK, our second award is the Twitter reply guy of the year.
Oh, big, big, big award.
It was a banner year and reply guys
want to recognize actually three of the nominees
actually come from part of my take replies, outstanding work in the reply section.
We have Jess Posa, who nominated big reply guy, always, always strong.
FSU, Brando.
Yep. Great song that he wrote for us.
I just want to say, Jess Posa, there's like, I will.
You know how there's always this weird feeling of like,
if you've been in common sense, you've been on the online,
people could just die and you wouldn't like know that they're gone.
Oh, I would know if I didn't get a tweet from him every morning of a new episode.
I'd be like, call the cops.
Where do you go?
Because I used to be memes.
Memes is the I mean, memes got basically a job from being essentially a reply guy.
But I do love Jess Posa because it's like, wake up, drink some coffee.
Boom. He's like, you know, this part was great.
He's an all time AWL, all time nominee for a reply guy.
The brilliant thing about just Posa, it's it's not just the depth
of what he does on this show.
It's like every show.
Yeah, like every bar still shows crazy.
Yes. All right. FSU, Brando also nominated Clu Haywood.
Also nominated Clu Haywood, strong reply guy, maybe the biggest drinker
and the only Arizona Cardinals fan in the world.
Yes, that's true.
And Clu Haywood also has this specific reply guy, very funny Twitter account.
Everyone should follow him.
But he if you don't respond to him like after a few times,
he just assumes he's muted and it's like, no, dude, I'm never going to mute you.
Yeah. But that's a reply guy thing.
You'd be like, am I muted reply guy mentality?
Yeah, right. Like, did you put me in a box?
What the fuck? Yeah.
And then you know what I love?
I love his Xanax tweets.
You can always tell when it's like it's like 2 a.m.
Yeah. He's had a couple of pops.
He wakes up the next morning.
He's like, oh, my God, what have I done online?
And he's got a great dog.
I think the name Kevin. Kevin is a good dog.
Any time you name your dog after like just a regular name, I laugh.
Yeah. Or another animal.
Yeah. Or a bear. Yeah.
I like that too.
And then the final nominee is LeBron James entire reply section
to every tweet that he has.
So drumroll please.
Oh, and by the way, if you don't know that, it's the little fraud.
And then it lists all is well, I'm yeah.
OK, all right. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Pause, spoilers, drumroll, drumroll, drumroll.
And the winner is the LeBron James reply section.
Congratulations to LeBron James.
We requires as they say, LeFraud is actually
0 and 10 in the finals in my eyes.
2007 lost swept 2011 lost 2012.
Baby Thunder doesn't count 2013.
Ray Allen also doesn't rigged 2013.
Ray Allen doesn't count 2014 lost 2015 lost 2016.
Injured Warriors doesn't count 2017 lost 2018 lost swept 2020.
Mickey Mouse doesn't count.
Yeah, it's strong and they make it.
When you read it like that, I actually I actually now believe
that LeBron James is 0 and 10.
Yeah. In his career in the NBA finals.
Yeah, there's an asterisk next to all of it.
Baby Thunder is my favorite.
Baby Thunder doesn't count.
Ray Allen doesn't count.
They were too young.
That's all.
The Ray Allen one is essentially like LeBron had a good teammate.
Doesn't count.
Yeah, it doesn't count.
It doesn't count.
Ray Allen made that shot.
OK, congratulations to all the reply guys in LeBron James Twitter comments.
They keep it up.
Yeah, keep it up.
Keep that same energy, please.
That's right.
The Q&A was wonderful.
Yeah. OK, next up, the wild of the year.
Jake, could you stand up for a second?
Jake's standing up.
All right, Jake, you're going to want to sit down for this.
OK, there we go.
So Jake's now sitting down.
All right, the nominees for Wild of the Year.
Joe Burrow and Jamar Chase smoking cigars
after they won the AFC championship and the wild part.
Jimmy Chase and Jimmy Burrow, both named Jimmy,
are smoking cigars in the parking lot after the AFC championship game.
So pretty wild.
That's crazy.
Crazy, the next nominee, Derek Jeter's nephew.
If you remember, when his last game, he did the respect with the hat.
Very famous thing for two pecked.
So check this out.
You ready for this?
It's his nephew.
So that's that's wild right there.
That's wild.
Derek Jeter's nephew, who tipped his cap to Jeter
in his final game at Yankee Stadium,
was front row for his uncle's Hall of Fame induction.
Did he tip his cap?
He didn't have a cap.
He didn't have a cap. No cap. No cap.
Yeah. Now, incredible, though, like the fact that is wild.
His nephew was at both events.
Is fucking wild.
OK, so that's the next nominee, the third nominee.
Tiger Woods played golf with his son Charlie Woods at the PNC championship.
They kind of look the same.
They walk the same, they hit the same.
It's wild. That's crazy. Yeah.
Very wild.
The next one, Matt Holiday's son,
who we saw a picture of Matt Holiday holding his son,
which is wild in its own right after he won the NL championship
with the Rockies.
He was like a two year old.
Matt Holiday's son, Jackson Holiday,
went one one in the MLB draft.
Well, like a major league ballplayer's son is also going to play major league baseball.
It's crazy. Let me listen.
That's not the last wild we got from that.
We also have the Blue Jays sons.
So the Blue Jays have Vlad Jr.
Boba Shet and Kevin Bijio.
All their swings kind of look like their dad swings.
Holy shit. Wild. Right. Wild.
That last one was also cool.
Yeah, it was cool. It was wild and cool.
All right. So the winner of the Wild of the Year.
It's Derek Jeter's nephew. All right.
Yep. He was at both things.
I still don't know how he got to the Hall of Fame induction
and was able to sit front row.
That's wild in its own right.
But it's like, whoa, he's a young kid there and he's still a young kid,
but just a little bit older five years later.
But it's that same kid that was at the game.
I think he's also DJ Premier's son.
I think DJ Premier married Derek Jeter's sister.
I want to say, which is extra wild.
I'm going to double check that right now.
I don't know.
DJ Premier. Yes. Yeah. Derek Jeter.
I think I get from Billy was just a fact check. Yes.
Derek. I think that's what he meant. Right.
Yeah. Yes.
Derek Jeter, his son, his nephew is DJ Premier's son. Wow.
Wow. That is wild. Double wild.
And it's crazy that this has happened at the same time
as the documentary being released.
There's too many wilds.
If everyone, if you need to take a break at this point in the podcast,
I would understand. Thank you, Captain.
If you want to take a pause and just let this all with us all sink in.
Who did you just say that to Jeter?
Yeah, thank you, Captain.
To Jeter. To Jets. Yeah, Jets.
Yeah, Jets. You know what?
I've never agreed with Rico Bosco about anything in my life,
but I love his Derek Jeter takes.
Yeah, he just goes all in on overrated.
Yeah, bad defensive liability at shortstop.
If he was a Cincinnati red, no one would know who he is.
Yeah, he was a massive ego.
He wouldn't let a road play shortstop.
Yeah, that's true.
It would have been much better.
He ruined the Marlins. Yeah. Yeah.
And the Yankees. The proud Marlins.
I mean, the Marlins hadn't won since 2000.
No, no, no. That we went and took over.
Jake, that was the joke. Thank you.
The proud Marlins, Jake.
Marlins actually beat Jeter.
That's true. Wild.
I was on the field.
You know what?
That motherfucker took down the statue of the fish.
Yeah. And and he.
No, it just played along with the Hank.
And that's on Jeter and he expelled Marlins, man.
Yeah, wouldn't let him bring his hookers to games anymore.
Ladies, those are the those are the mermaids, please.
I'm sorry. Respect on their name.
They were the Marlins mermaids. Yeah. Yeah.
He didn't take the blank check offer for Marlins, man.
OK, next up, suspension of the year.
Is it great year in suspensions this year?
Great year.
We had a lot to work with Susie's left and right.
We got addicted to suspensions for a brief period of time.
I feel like I'm still.
What's that rule like?
You have to wait 28 days to break a habit, right?
Yes. To get something out of your system.
So I'm still technically addicted to suspensions.
But we're working on that.
So the suspension of the year nominees are Billy football
for getting Susie for a month for Billy.
Do you want to congratulations?
Do you want to say anything?
Any any like I'm glad to be nominated speech?
Anything?
It really shouldn't be celebrated.
Oh, OK. All right.
Well, it is your nominee.
It was a big suspension.
Yes. Huge suspension.
Although we did kind of make Billy into a martyr in a way.
Well, no, that was Rico did that.
We he was he got saved by the Bosco.
Thanks, Rico. Yes. Yes.
The second nominee is Brooks Kepka, Blake Kepka,
being suspended from part of my takes Blake of the Year Award
at the end of this episode, pending appeal.
Yes. Now, I'm I'm told.
There might be an appeal of sorts.
He has a statement ready to be read when we have the remaining
two blakes on the show to decide Blake of the Year.
I also think that in much the same way that Billy kind of got
saved and martyred by Rico, Brooks has kind of been saved
and martyred by everybody else.
That's David Faraday.
Yeah, Charles Barkley in the future.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the third nominee is Calvin Ridley,
getting Susie from NFL for a season for putting a $500
parlay on a game seven game parlay.
Honorable mention to Sean Watson.
He he might be suspended by the time this comes out.
Yeah, we don't know. That is true.
So we're taking this a week before.
So he if he was suspended again, our statement on the suspension is
I think it was not enough and PFT says it was too much.
Yeah. So just go with whatever you want there.
Yeah.
And the winner is for Suspension of the Year,
Calvin Ridley.
Oh, put a shitty little parlay in.
Wow. It didn't even win it.
Didn't even win his parlay.
He's out for a year.
We're going to look. We're going to look back on this.
I think in 10 years, the same way we look back on on how we treated
like weed laws back in the 1990s.
Yes, especially after everyone tweeted those clips of him
like getting tackled and they're like, he threw this.
Yeah, exactly. NFL rigged.
Look at him.
You didn't score a touchdown on every single catch that he had.
Yeah, that Emmanuel Acho tweet when he's like, look at this.
And then it went and then he looked up the stats
and Calvin Ridley had like seven catches for 150 yards in a touchdown.
I didn't see that one.
Yeah. Oh, I'm blocked too.
OK, next up, worst take of the year, loaded, loaded award here.
We got some great ones.
So we'll start Ben Simmons, traded from the Philadelphia
76ers to the Brooklyn Nets on playing with Kyrie and KD.
He said, quote, it's going to be scary.
So I actually think he was correct about this.
He was talking about he was just expressing his emotions.
He was like, I'm scared to play.
I'm scared to play basketball.
Yeah, right. Right.
Because he's he doesn't want to be on the court, but it's going to be scary.
I'm going to I'm going to play in the NBA this year.
That's terrifying. Yeah. Yeah.
I would I would actually say that they're going to make me shoot.
That's scary. Yeah.
Whoa, no. No, thank you. Please.
Yeah. So he yeah, they never played a game together this year.
Could have used him in the playoffs.
Didn't show up.
The next one, Trista Crick, our former colleague, said,
during the twenty twenty one NFL draft,
are the Bengals having the worst draft of any team?
That kicker pick was puzzling.
Now, this is also, mind you, the draft they took Jamar Chase,
which turned out pretty good.
And Evan McPherson and Evan McPherson out to be good.
Really good.
Despite the fact he doesn't have Joe Burrow's phone number.
Yeah. And he also watches the halftime shows.
Yeah. Yeah. Which, come on.
How could you do that?
The next up, Colin Coward, you knew he would get that get in here somewhere.
He said before the twenty twenty one NFL season,
really think Urban Meyer and his staff have nailed this draft.
So let's have some fun.
I like the Jags over six and a half wins.
So it actually turned out they only won three games.
And on top of that, Urban Meyer was fired after week thirteen or week fourteen.
They were two and eleven.
He is last two games in the NFL.
They lost to the Rams thirty seven seven and the Titans twenty to nothing.
And we have the special Urban Meyer really figured it out.
After the Rams game, it was leaked that Urban Meyer said
when watching Rams tape, who is this 99 guy on the Rams?
I'm hearing he might be a problem for us.
That, of course, is Aaron Donald, the best player, defensive player in the NFL.
So Urban Meyer did not get the over six and a half.
He got fired in a total train wreck, kicked a player.
So as a kicker, yeah, didn't didn't do well.
The next up, LeBron James, he said on the Lakers season after they signed
after they got Russell Westbrook and signed Carmelo Anthony,
he said, keep talking about my squad, our personnel ages, the way he plays.
He stays injured, we're past our time in this league, etc., etc.
Do me one favor, please.
And I mean, please, folded hands.
Keep that same that that's the emoji folded hands.
Keep that same narrative energy when it begins.
That's all I asked.
Hashtag, thank you.
I actually like the verbal emoji.
Yes, it was written out in front of me.
He the Lakers then went thirty three and forty nine.
And we did keep that same energy only because he asked us.
And he they missed the playoffs.
And here's here's a great thing about this worst take of the year nominee.
He then provided one that could be another worst take of the year in the future.
So he laid a Easter egg.
It's the take that keeps on giving when they missed the playoffs.
He said, I can slash will not miss the postseason again for my career.
This S. Star, star, star, hurt.
OK, back to watching these games.
So that could be keep your eye on that.
I think my personal favorite LeBron James Tweet was still the the MSG one
when he was watching playoff basketball.
He's like, man, Massen Square Garden is loud ass hell.
Yeah, loud as hell. Yes. Yes.
All right. Next up, we have Dan Dockich for his take.
Interesting.
Pacers are praised for picking Reggie Miller over Steve
Alford in 1987, yet Pacers have not won a single thing in the subsequent thirty nine years.
Would they have won anything with Alford?
Who knows?
But what we do know is nothing was one with Miller.
That's a good point.
Yeah, Reggie Miller, bad, bad draft pick by the Pacers.
Pretty much the best Pacer of all time.
How many how many NBA championships did Alford win?
Zero. Zero also.
Yes, zero also. Yes.
But who's to say who's to say?
You never know.
We that sliding door butterfly effect.
They could have been the best franchise ever.
Steve Alford could have been the Jordan killer.
We don't know.
We were robbed of that opportunity.
The next up is Kurt Warner.
This was before the Bill's Patriots game in Buffalo with the crazy weather.
He said, yeah, yeah, it's football weather, blah, blah, blah.
No one enjoys playing in this and no one can play their best football
in conditions like this.
But what do I know?
I'm a dome guy.
I'll be here for all the windy action.
And then the last up is our darling Jake for keeping the Wisconsin Badgers
out of his preseason bracketology.
They ended up getting a three seed.
He was they won.
Copic ten champions.
He could have been more wrong about that.
So terrible, terrible take for you, Jake.
Yeah, this is why I like staying neutral, because I'm just so bad at predictions.
But there was no doubt about this one.
There was not one portion of the season where they had a chance of missing.
Correct. Correct.
But Jake, it wasn't a prediction.
You said time and time again.
Wait, now I'm confused.
Yeah, because your explanation was it wasn't a prediction.
It was a prediction at the time.
No, it was a reflection of just your formulaic, your proprietary algorithm.
It was a take at the time.
Right.
And the November take was wrong, but I had him in by December.
And it should have been so easy for you to just put him in.
I know.
But it provided a great clip.
That's true. It did. It did.
All right. The winner of worst take of the year, drumroll.
It's LeBron James.
LeBron James. Good job, LeBron.
When he said keep that same energy before the season.
And then his team went 33 and 49, missed the playoffs.
Great take by LeBron.
We did keep that same energy like PFT said, and it was fantastic.
It was great energy.
It was a fantastic energy.
LeBron, thank you for helping us help you make the game of basketball better.
And now I want to speak to Russell Westbrook.
Yeah. No, they had they huddled on the phone.
Did you see that?
Anthony Davis, LeBron and Russ huddled on the phone was the report.
It was one phone.
Yeah. And they talked about how they're going to keep that same energy
and hopefully win.
OK. All right.
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OK, next up, PFT, you got the next one.
Take it away.
Yes.
The next category is the text meant to be sent to somebody else of the year.
There are quite a few of them this year.
Several on this podcast.
The first nominee is Hank's Jim Selfie.
They accidentally sent to Dan, Dave and Gazz.
The worst three the worst three people you could ever send it to.
So all on the same time.
What's the name of that?
That workout thing at 45 45.
How many days in are you?
Well, I moved.
So I did about 30 days.
OK, so about 30 days.
So like 23.
You never take it over nine days of at 45.
Yeah, at least.
Yes, yes.
And you have the six pack of that's in in in progress and loading.
Yes, six packs there.
It's just underneath the other stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, it's a 30 pack right now.
It's the spinning wheel when you when you try to go on like explore.
Yeah, I'm going to put my cape on for Hank real quick,
because I've seen that Jim Selfie resurfacing a lot recently.
It's always funny.
I laugh every single time that does.
By the way, if you're listening to this, don't do not do not send.
Do not reply to this podcast tweet with Hank's Jim Selfie.
But the one that they're using isn't even it's a Photoshop one
where your face looks like it's been stung by bees and it's all swollen up.
Your face isn't really that swollen in the original one.
Yeah, right.
It's one of those where the the Photoshop has actually
overtaken the original in terms of which one people think is true.
Correct.
A little disambiguation.
I would say that people have actually stopped.
I haven't seen it as much.
So thank you for.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
They're definitely going to stop doing it.
Yep, yep, never send that to us.
The second nominee was the weird joke that I sent to Big Cat, Hank and Peggy or Booker.
Weird. Yeah, it was a weird joke.
Well, I was just out of nowhere and we were just talking about getting a guest
and then you just dropped a joke.
Yeah, I dropped a joke about like hooking up with somebody when you're leaving a bar,
which was meant to be a ghostwritten joke for get up to impress Mike Greenberg.
Yep.
And boy, egg all over my face on that one.
Next nominee is Liam Screenshots that he replied where he screenshotted
our own conversation on the group chat and then sent them back to us on the group chat.
Yes.
And the last nominee is Bill Belichick, texting Brian Flores.
Congrats on getting the Giants job just heard.
Turns out that was meant for Brian Debel.
Brian Flores had to be the one that was like, wait, did you mean to send this one to me?
And Belichick said, oh, sorry about that.
And I fucked this one up.
And I know it's not true, but just I just assumed that he in his phone
has black Brian and white Brian and he just he just did the wrong one.
He did the wrong B. Yeah.
Yeah. So the winner is drum roll, please.
Bill Belichick to Brian Flores wins.
Winners win.
Made the news. Yeah, he did.
He won a takey.
That's big.
Now he accepts this award.
We'll have to text it.
We don't have his number, but we'll text it to someone who could maybe text it to him.
Now, I mean, the big brain theory on this is that Belichick did it on purpose
so that Brian Flores would file his lawsuit so that the dolphins
would get in trouble for trying to tamper with Tom Brady.
Right. And everything would fall apart.
And it's kind of worked.
Yeah. Maybe it is kind of worked.
Classic Belichick.
That's the best part about being Bill Belichick.
Anything you do, if you do something stupid, everyone's like the genius of Belichick.
OK, great award.
Next one, League of the Year.
So League of the Year, a big year for new leagues and old leagues.
NFL had a great year.
They're our first nominee.
They, you know, it's NFL.
They should just be nominated all the time.
NFL is king. NFL is king.
The Live Tour.
The Live Tour is nominated for League of the Year.
The Live Tour has made waves in the golf world.
The new tour out of Saudi Arabia that is
gobbling up golfers and sports personalities left and right.
If they take Charles Barkley from inside the NBA, like or NBA on TNT,
I'm going to people are going to be mad.
Well, why is TNT going to be like the PGA Tour to Charles Barkley
and say you're not allowed to work for us and also for the Live Tour?
I don't know. And I think at some point,
the PGA Tour is going to have to just say, all right, you know what?
We're not going to suspend every golfer that goes to live for life.
Right. PGA Tour.
Well, I just assume that the the Live Tour would just
give Charles Barkley so much money, he wouldn't do other jobs.
Oh, he wouldn't want to work.
He wouldn't want.
And also like they would just be like, hey, how about $300 million?
You can't do anything else.
Yeah. I mean, it's a possibility that Live Tour could just take over
everything that we like. Yeah.
And every single branch of this podcast. Yes.
Open for business.
The PLL is nominated for League of the Year.
PLL has had a big year. No thanks to the water dogs.
Darling Jake did a great job on his call.
This is now we're taping this before he calls on ESPN2, which hopefully he did well.
And this won't be this.
This could be a nominee for worst take of the year in retrospect.
The racial slur was a little over the line.
Yep. I mean, expected during a lacrosse broadcast, but.
But I appreciated the fact that you didn't leave and you just pooped your pants on air.
That was nice.
I'm just going to clean this up.
I can't.
It's okay. This is going to air after the fact.
So don't worry.
They can't kick you off the air yet.
Yeah. Right.
Also, is it a coincidence that the PLL had their best year ever after Paul Rabel retired?
Was Paul Rabel bad for professional lacrosse?
Some are saying, some are saying.
Okay. The last one is Mike Trout's Fantasy League,
which made waves after Tommy Pham slapped Jock Peterson in the face in the,
in the outfield before an MLB game.
We also now have Mike Trout's Fantasy League commissioned by our good friend,
Steven Che, and Dave is in the league now.
So it is definitely a nominee for League of the Year.
Do we have a cameo, a person?
I should have said that word, bleep that out.
Do we have a presenter for League of the Year?
Jake.
Yes. This was selected by Hank.
Okay.
Hello, my award-winning listeners.
It is the 2022 Takie Awards.
I am your host, Claire Hogle.
Big thank you to PFT for selecting me to announce this prestigious award.
I picked the wrong one.
Oh, all right. Cut that.
So that was a little teaser.
Wait.
Yeah. I know I'm cut.
Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to pretend like I'm surprised next time I hear that.
Okay. Yeah.
All right. So we have-
You didn't pick the wrong one.
That is it.
Wow. Bad job, Jake.
All right. This is the beauty of the Takie Awards show.
You get to see, we're like, Steve Harvey incident, every other award.
Okay. So was that the correct one?
All right. So play it again.
We also have not heard.
So we all picked some presenting-
Call monitor, Jake, just ruined my joke right off the bat.
We picked some different presenters.
Hello, my award-winning listeners.
It is the 2022 Takie Awards.
This is Claire Hogle?
Claire Hogle.
Oh, I nailed it.
Big thank you to PFT for selecting me to announce this prestigious award.
And now the moment that you have all been waiting for,
the Takie winner of League of the Year is the live tour.
Yeah.
You'll get that paper boys.
He asked if he could keep swinging it the way he is,
he may just end up on the live tour himself.
So who is-
Great job.
Great job.
Who is Claire Hogle?
She's a golfer.
Okay. All right. Yeah. No, I know her.
Instagram, she's an Instagram golfer.
I was saying more for the people who don't know,
because I obviously know who Claire Hogle is.
So wait, wait.
Does she have-
She's a good golfer.
Okay. Yes.
All right. Okay.
Yeah. So that's a false flag bonk on Hanksport.
It's a setup piece of shit.
Okay. So live tour.
Congratulations to live tour.
Yeah.
I'm sorry to ruin the live tours moment.
One, she said, I thought it was bonk of the year,
but we didn't even have that.
Yeah.
One.
Yeah, I screwed that up.
I'm sorry.
We retired that with PFT.
He's just one bonk of the year.
Okay.
Good job.
Live tour.
Congratulations.
They needed some good publicity.
There it is.
The taking of the year for a league of the year,
the live tour.
All right.
Next up, PFT.
All right.
The next category is the retirement of the year.
A lot of people walked away from the game on top.
Some people walked away from the game in third to fourth place,
but it was still tremendous.
Yep.
Our first nominee is Coach K.
He had a great retirement.
He did.
Great, great year.
18 months, 18 month retirement tour.
Maybe a little more.
Yeah.
Two year retirement tour.
He's probably announced his un-retirement already
by the time this airs.
Our second nominee is Jay Wright.
Coach Jay.
Yeah.
Coach Jay just, he did it classy, just tipped his hat and said,
I'll see you guys later.
Graceful.
Tom Brady.
Tom Brady retired this year.
People forget that.
He did.
And then Adam Schefter un-retired him.
Tom Brady re-retired.
Then Tom Brady re-un-retired himself.
It was actually great for Tom Brady
because everyone did, including this show,
are like, holy shit, Tom Brady is incredible.
Look at all these stats.
Like, you know, segment.
Every show did that.
And then he un-retired.
So he gets to do that again.
Yeah, it's like if you fake your own death
and you get to watch all the nice things people say about you.
Can you stop John Cena's contract?
Oh, yeah.
You had a friend that, all right.
Pretended to have a friend that died.
OK.
The next nominee is Antonio Brown.
Yeah.
Great retirement.
He raged quit in the middle of a Jets box game.
He just left at halftime through his gloves
into the stands, had Danny Boy Hustle hard pick him up.
Our guy, yeah.
He drove around for a little bit.
I love doing the Takies because like a lot of these,
like I obviously didn't forget that Antonio Brown did that.
I just, being reminded, is fun.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's a nice look back at the entire year
and the craziness that happened.
I think that we should give some respect to Bruce Arians
for managing to not have Antonio Brown freak out
for as long as he did.
Yes.
You know, we do give credit to Mike Tomlin for that,
for managing AB and Levy on Bell at the same time
when both of them were just like way out there.
Right.
But I think that Aaron Ian needs a little bit of credit
on this one.
Agreed.
So the winner of the retirement of the year is,
wait, wait, wait.
Before we get to it, I want to say something here.
The person that I got to do this cameo, really bad job.
Really bad job.
OK.
And I think it has to do with his coaching
that he's received in the past.
Oh, OK.
Hey, Jake, Joey Baker here.
Hope you're doing well.
It's a beautiful day in Michigan.
Just wanted to say hello.
It's a great year this past season.
A lot of success on the court.
An incredible team, an incredible coach,
and memories that'll last a lifetime.
Max.
So I hope you're doing well.
And I hope you have a good day.
Just didn't read the script at all.
Completely went off script.
Did he think that cameo was for Coach K?
Because he's like, hope you're doing well.
I have no idea.
No, he said, hey, Jake, how's it going?
It also is interesting because Joey Baker,
in the memories that he listed so eloquently
there when he said a lot of great memories,
he didn't say his senior day and his senior,
like, you know, walking out on the court
because Coach K stole that from him.
Yeah, so he never had a...
Do you want to read your script?
Jersey retired me.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
No, I think just know that my script,
as always, was incredible.
And that performance just,
it was a slap in the face of college basketball.
Yes.
To the entire sport.
Yes, yes.
So Coach K?
Coach K wins.
Coach K, congratulations.
Coach K won an award.
Hopefully he displays this prominently in the office
he refuses to give up.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
All right, next up, finger of the year.
Yeah, loaded.
You'd think, oh, finger of the year.
What the hell?
Loaded finger of the year category.
The first up, we have horns down.
Horns down for finger of the year.
Remember last summer at the Big 12 media day,
the commissioner said that horns down,
the symbol could be subject to a penalty against them.
Let me put it this way,
Big 12 coordinator of officials, Greg Burke,
said at Big 12 media day,
if you do a horns down to a Texas player as an opponent,
that's probably going to be a foul.
Huge, huge.
There's a time and a place for it, he said.
So you're allowed to go horns down
when you're not playing against the long horns.
Right, right.
Next up, we have Urban Meyer at the bar with his finger,
knuckles deep in a young co-ed's asshole.
He is finger of the year nominee.
We have Eli Manning on Monday Night Football,
the Manning Cast.
He gave the finger to the listeners.
All-time moment.
Double bird.
How could he do that?
Eli, how could you?
And then finally, we have Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers
because Raising Cane's one love.
This actually is not an ad.
They're not advertising on this specific episode,
but we love them so much.
And I think we ate like 100 of them
for the final four in New Orleans.
Can't wait till it comes to New York City.
They're really beautiful fingers.
They are.
They are.
All right, drum roll please for finger of the year.
It's Urban Meyer's finger at the bar.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
Knuckles deep in a butthole.
Now, which one was it?
Was it middle finger?
Was it ring finger?
I think he was switching back and forth.
Yeah, he was doing both.
The whole hand.
The shocker?
Yeah, his entire hand is immortalized.
The Dane Cook Superfinger.
You remember that one?
Yes, yes.
The middle two?
Yes, yes.
So Urban Meyer, great award.
He's now, he's now won.
Did he win?
No, he didn't win the take of the year.
That was for Colin Coward.
So Urban Meyer has won award here.
That's big.
Finger of the year.
That's actually, it's a new award,
but I feel like this one's going to stick around.
Yes, yes.
And it might be named after Urban Meyer going forward.
I think that's how impressive his performance was this year.
Okay.
All right, next award is for Southerner of the Year.
Southerner of the Year.
Who?
I'm part of my take.
The first nominee, the Colorado Avalanche.
Won the Stanley Cup.
Big, big performance in Southerners.
The second nominee is Brian Kelly.
And his whole family.
Yup.
My family.
The third nominee is Ben Mintz.
So here at Barstool Sports,
we haven't had anybody from the South.
And it's been a big glaring hole in our coverage
for a long time, especially considering
the big stuff that Mississippi's doing.
And so when we got Ben Mintz,
I daresay the entire company changed.
Yup, I would say so too.
I think we've all become a little bit more like Ben Mintz.
Yeah.
And the direction that he's sent this organization in.
If you know anything about the Barstool Sports
organizational chart, it goes Dave number one, Hank number two,
Ben Mintz three, Erica four.
Yup.
And it's, you know, when someone's like,
we're going to go international,
when we hired Ben Mintz, we went national.
Finally.
Yeah.
It was beautiful.
Look at what the stock was when Ben was hired.
Correct.
Probably compared to what it is right now.
Correct, correct.
Yes.
And then the fourth, the fourth nominee is
Cam Smith.
Yes.
The deep south.
Yeah.
Australia in it, Mike.
Yes.
Now live tour, golfer, the open champion.
Wait, he's not on the live tour.
He's joined the live tour.
No, that was just a, it hasn't been confirmed.
Maybe by now.
Has, maybe by now.
I think, I think he's going to join the live tour.
What are your stances if he has at this point?
I think that they paid him too much.
Yeah.
I think they paid him too little.
There it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you're looking for guidance, there it is.
All right.
And the winner is, yes, we do.
Hi, I'm Brandon Walker of Barstool Sports.com.
And I thank you guys for having me.
I am here to present the Take The Award, the 2022 Take The Award
for Barstool for the Southerner of the Year.
The Southerner of the Year.
I'm in the beautiful wilds of Mississippi right now.
I'm enjoying life.
It's wonderful out here.
You can hear the bugs.
And the Southerner of the Year is, all right.
Okay.
Southerner of the Year has been meant.
Yes.
Of course.
And that's, that's deserved.
That's well-deserved.
He certainly works hard.
Doesn't have the cup titties.
Congratulations, the 2022 Take The, 2022 Take The to, to Ben Metz.
Ben Metz.
That's, that's who won that award.
I boxed my ass.
Through a chair.
I think a lot of bugs, a lot of bugs in that video.
I don't, I don't know if Ben's actually going to find out
that he won this award because he works, he works that hard,
just knows down.
Yeah.
It's going to take probably, I'd say around Christmas,
when we take a little break,
he'll find out that he won the award, but much deserved Southerner of the Year.
He deserved it and he was, he's great.
Yeah.
He, we are, we are finally have arrived in the South.
Thank you, Minci.
Thank you, Minci.
All right.
Before we get to the next award, PFT, you want to do a quick ad?
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Disgruntled.
Odell Beckham, Sr. released a video on YouTube that said,
Odell Beckham is always open for the Cleveland Browns in 2021.
It was also titled, once you clicked on it, Every Mist Opportunity Odell Was Open.
It was just a breakdown of all the times that Baker Mayfield didn't throw it to Odell Beckham,
Jr. and it was so well done and over the top because he used Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.
as the song choice, and it was just a beautiful, beautiful video
of Baker Mayfield refusing to throw it to Odell Beckham.
I mean, he got his son a Super Bowl.
Yes, yes, he got his son a Super Bowl.
Some may say that was after LeBron tweeted free OBJ,
but either way, all-time dad move.
Next up, we got Jim Bayheim.
Jim Bayheim, who somehow got, this could have been wild,
somehow got both his sons on the Syracuse roster.
That's wild.
I don't know how.
It's crazy too.
Yeah.
Because it's so wild that they're his kids that he raised.
Yes.
And now he's also coaching them on a university team,
where usually that just goes to the best players, but turns out that his two sons are
two of the best players.
Correct.
Correct.
Correct.
Wild and awesome for a dad.
The next up is Coach K because his grandson, who wildly was on the Duke roster.
I don't know how that happened.
He's a wild driver.
Wild driver, he got pulled over, rested for DWI with Paolo Bencaro in the car.
And Coach K, for some reason, that just disappeared.
I went and I looked, and he actually said in the moment, right the day after, he said,
we're reviewing a legal matter involving two members of the men's basketball team.
Any further actions as a result of this situation will ultimately be determined
by the vice president slash director of athletics and university officials.
So he basically was like, look, this is not in my hands.
This is now in the athletic department's hands.
So good for Coach K to put that in the athletic department's hands.
I think it probably came down to the assistant director of athletics, Debbie Severino.
She probably had the decision who is also Coach K's daughter and the mother of Michael Severino
who got pulled over.
So, but good job by Coach K. He was like, you guys handle it.
A quick question, big cat.
When it goes down to the athletic department, how much of the Duke athletic department
is financed by the basketball team?
I don't know.
Yeah, it seems like a lot.
I think it's probably a lot.
I just imagine that the way it was handled internally when Coach K was like,
I'm not going to deal with this.
I'm going to elevate it to the people above me who happened to be my daughter,
who's the mother of the player in question.
Debbie Severino probably just washed Michael Severino's mouth out with soap.
And was like, all right, there's your suspension.
He was basically saying, no matter what the police choose to do,
I promise you the punishment in my house is going to be even more severe.
Yes, yes.
And then the last up, Herschel Walker, who I think is running for Senate in Georgia.
And he just has new kids come out of the woodwork every other day.
He has one son that everyone knew about and then three more that have appeared.
In the last like three months.
Yeah.
So he's probably a couple more coming.
My brother hit me up the other day.
He's like, yeah, five more on the way.
Yeah.
Dad of the year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's order another five spot for Herschel Walker.
Dad of the year.
All right.
The winner, we have a presenter.
This seems like a conflict of interest.
But let's say we didn't get it.
So Hank was supposed to, or was going to get someone.
Who were you going to get, Hank?
You want to say?
Matt Jones.
Matt Jones.
Okay.
Our good friend Matt Jones.
No.
Other Matt Jones.
The other Matt Jones.
Which Matt Jones?
He happened, I was just kind of looking through the basketball section,
just going for someone reasonably priced.
Coincidentally, he was a member of the 2015 national champion.
Oh, that's such a shame.
I know.
Such a shame.
I know.
Damn.
Hank, do you have a speech that you'd like to give on Coach K's behalf?
Yeah, because Coach K is our winner.
Dad slash grandfather of the year.
Let's let Jake read the script.
No, we didn't read PFT.
All right.
Fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I think, listen, everyone has to deal with tough stuff.
Kids are kids.
And Coach K.
He's like 22.
I mean.
Yeah.
Kid.
Yeah, he's a kid.
Billy's 23.
Yeah, that's true.
He really faces consequences on the show.
Yeah.
Yeah, and you don't think he got worse than, worse consequence?
Absolutely.
Billy only drives drunks on days of end with Y.
Okay, that's fucked up.
That's not cool.
Okay.
But no, I'm sure he's honored with this award.
He's probably won more awards than any coach in the history of college basketball,
considering he's the greatest coach of all time.
Most wins of all time.
And so I'm sure he appreciates it.
He's got two takies.
And I would like Jake, if you could maybe send the certificate.
And he's a 2015 national champion.
That was kind of the emphasis on the take your award speech.
Not as many ACC championships as Roy Williams,
since Roy's been in town, though.
Just think about it.
So Jake, can you figure out a way to send both those certificates to Durham?
Make sure they go to Coach K's office?
I'll do my best.
He has both of those now.
Two time winner.
Wow.
Congratulations, Coach K.
Wow.
What a year for him.
Okay, PFT, your next one you got.
Our next one, we've got Beef of the Year.
Beef of the Year.
Surprise, surprise, our first nominee Beef of the Year.
Speaking of Coach K, Big Cat versus Coach K.
For taking him down, eliminating him, ruining his retirement.
I did do that.
I did that.
Spreading the good word around New Orleans.
Yep.
Like, you were basically the Westboro Baptist Church.
But for Coach K, showing up, picketing his last appearance, sending out flyers.
Our second nominee is Aaron Rodgers versus vaccinations.
Aaron Rodgers has gone on a crusade against vaccinations.
He has, he hates them.
Hates them.
He hates them.
Aaron Rodgers will never fucking put a needle in his arm,
unless it's going to draw two lions on it in front of the solar system with ink.
Okay?
Correct.
Third nominee, Kyler Murray versus the Arizona Cardinals team social media accounts.
I kind of forgot about this until last week.
That's, it's so weird that like this is how he's handling his contract stuff
and like not being happy with not making the playoffs.
He's like, I'm going to unfollow my employer on Instagram.
Yes.
Is this the future of Beef's, Billy?
I think it might be Bugs.
Think they're going from Beef to Bugs.
What do you mean?
Oh, because you don't eat the Bugs.
Got it.
Yeah, I'm not eating the Bugs.
I've had Cricket Flour before.
Oh, okay.
I noticed that you've become more of a beta.
Yeah, I'm a gay bug.
Shout out, I'm Friglin.
Our fourth nominee is Jokic Brothers versus the Morris Brothers.
That was awesome.
That was a great beef because I don't think America knew that much about the Jokic Brothers
before this happened and it turns out that they're sweet.
They're awesome.
Yes.
And they also, I think they didn't have, I think they had an egg avatar or like a no-name avatar.
Yes, they did.
And they were just fucking.
And they shared an account.
Yeah, they shared an account.
They're just like, we will come and beat your ass.
Yeah, I think they're probably the scariest people in America right now.
Next nominee is Nick Saban versus John Cena.
I think that's actually a misprint.
I think it's Nick Saban versus Jimbo Fisher.
Yes, it is.
That makes way more sense.
Yeah.
Nick Saban, you know what, fuck it.
Nick Saban versus John Cena.
Yes.
The beef, who could forget?
Yeah, one of the biggest beefs we had this year.
I'm on team Saban.
I'm going to go with our guy, Cena.
Okay.
Yeah.
Next nominee.
Is that a tough year?
Yeah.
Skip Bayless versus Stephen A. Smith.
There was a lot of back and forth going on.
Who begged who to join whose show?
Who's Batman?
Who's Robin?
It's funny that we can actually have the Batman Robin debate
about the guys that invented the Batman Robin debate about basketball.
Correct, correct.
And then they got a nasty little divorce.
They're seeing other people right now, but they're still madly in love.
They end up sewing, they patch things up at the end.
And one day they will get back together.
As we've said on the show, I believe it should be the day that LeBron James retires.
They should get together and debate his legacy.
Yes.
Absolutely.
That's what we need.
Paper view.
And our final nominee, Urban Meyer versus Accountability.
Yes.
Urban Meyer versus Accountability.
Mad beef going on there.
Urban Meyer hates Accountability.
Accountability has not been seen in a room with Urban Meyer in at least five years.
You remember he called his entire coaching staff losers, who he hired.
Also, Aaron Hernandez killed two guys when he was playing for him.
Correct.
At Florida.
Correct.
And Urban Meyer was like,
buddy's a pretty big red zone threat.
He is a match-up nightmare.
He is.
And so our Beef of the Year award winner for the 2022 Takey Awards is
Urban Meyer versus Accountability.
All-time beef this year.
Double winner.
They slugged it out.
Yeah.
Wow.
Coach K and Coach Urban.
Yeah.
Big year for both of them.
Urban Meyer now has as many Takeys as he does NFL wins.
That's huge.
And you know what?
I'm sensing a theme between these two guys.
The only two guys on this list that enjoy faking injuries.
Yes.
To avoid Accountability.
Yes.
Yes.
So Urban Meyer, huge Takey for him.
Okay.
Next up, the comeback meme of the year.
Big year for memes making a comeback.
We had the rock shut up bitch reply that has made a comeback from the WWE
attitude era.
We have the Hitler meme, which we kind of actually were.
I think we're the only ones that brought it back.
But it did numbies.
It did do numbies.
We have Harambe, our sweet prince.
And then we have the Hey Kev, how was your weekend meme from the office.
Again, that might have been our own doing.
Memes is a take to do it.
But that's okay.
This is really the memes of the year war.
Memes find something that works.
And then he's like, okay, I'm going to do this all the time.
And it always works.
Yes.
It always does numbies.
All right.
The winner.
Do we have a guest presenter?
We do not.
Billy, why don't you do it?
Because this you were going to have a guest presenter.
But some of these people didn't get back to us in time.
No fault of ours.
So the winner of this year's meme comeback of the year award.
Yes.
Is Harambe.
Yes.
Harambe.
Yep.
What a sweet, sweet prince.
Brought the Bengals all the way to Super Bowl.
Couldn't finish the job.
But it was his spirit that carried them all the way there.
If you look at it on a sliding scale, for grading on a curve,
the Bengals losing in the Super Bowl is worth like, that's a dynasty.
That's worth at least four Super Bowls in the Rams conversion chart.
You know, like one Super Bowl for Los Angeles doesn't mean shit.
Yes.
Billy, I have a question.
It's the robot question.
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So there it is, all the synergy here.
He they have obviously had a tough time with the death of Harambe five years ago.
So or seven years ago.
Well, yeah, it was seven.
Seven years and podcasts started.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com.
Use code take for 20% off first purchase.
Roback question, Billy, who was going to be your guest presenter for this award?
The Island Boys.
Oh, that's too bad.
They're on island time.
They might get back to us by the time it.
Yeah, true.
They will.
True.
True.
Um, okay.
They better not say anything bad about Hank this time.
Yeah, that was fucked up.
They called him a bitch.
Well, they didn't call him.
They sang it.
Yeah, they did.
Hank is a bitch.
The Island Boys.
I told them specifically not to say that about Hank.
Yeah.
And then they went and did it.
They're just, you can't, you can't, you can't cage an island boy.
You can't.
The songbird.
Okay.
Next up, PFT.
What's, what do we got next?
Next up, we got, got that dog in them, Haver of the Year.
Who got the most dog in them this year?
Our nominees are Pat Bev.
Yeah.
Patrick Beverly definitely had that dog in them.
Yes.
In the play and tournament.
Yes.
Second nominee, DK Metcalf.
Got that dog in them.
Yeah, he does.
Trying to have a threesome.
For some, for some, for ladies.
Yeah.
Yes.
Next nominee is Joey Chestnut.
Got that dog in them.
He does.
He just broke the Cherry Pie record.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Dog.
Yeah, dog.
Hoof, hoof.
Dog.
Next nominee is Zach Wilson.
Mm-hmm.
Because he got that dog in him.
He's put that dog in other people too.
Putting that dog.
Yeah, it's the dog.
He's got that dog everywhere.
Hoof, hoof, hoof, hoof.
Allegedly, right Billy?
Allegedly.
And so, the winner is,
Billy, you actually have a cameo for the,
or sorry, Billy, you have,
you hired a presenter for this award.
Yes.
Hey, congratulations.
Zach Wilson from Jake Marsh, man.
You got no quit in you.
That's outstanding.
A heck of an award for pardon my take.
Man, you won this thing.
You kept going.
You didn't stop.
Persistence is the key.
And that's how you do it.
What you ain't said got a lot of dog in you, man.
You get after that stuff.
You need to make sure that you keep doing that.
When you're wrestling an alligator,
you don't quit when you're tired.
You go and tell alligators tired.
So you keep rolling, man.
Always remember that hard work can be talent
when talent doesn't work hard.
Congratulations again.
It's great that he has no idea what it's for.
It's for perfect.
That was the coach from the famous club.
Bob Green.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Fantastic.
It's always low key and insult when you tell somebody,
like, hey, hard work will be talent when talent has work.
Are there basically saying you suck?
Yeah.
But maybe if you try hard enough that you become annoying.
Someone will quit.
Yeah.
He'll get sick of playing against you.
Yes.
Someone at some point is going to quit
and you'll be there to fill that void.
I had.
That was basically what every single coach I've ever had
in any sport has told me.
Yes.
Yes.
It is kind of a sneaky diss.
All right.
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Okay, next up we have the Friend of the Year Award.
Yes, yes.
First nominee for Friend of the Year, Urban Meyer, who's already won.
He's going to gobble up every award.
He is nominated for Friend of the Year because he gave Tim Tebow a job who
he didn't need a job, but he gave him a job, had him come to camp, not a distraction.
Tim Tebow decided 10 years too late that he should be a tight end.
Didn't make the team.
He also had a friend that was going through some really difficult times
in Columbus, which is why he stayed overnight after the Thursday night game.
Friend everywhere.
He was trying to lend a helping hand, big cat.
Yes.
Next up we have John Cena from our famous interview with John Cena,
who had a friend pass away and we send our condolences again to John Cena
because it was not funny to joke about anything death related
because he had a friend pass away.
So that's a good friend, John Cena.
Regardless of the fact that he was wearing a superhero costume.
Correct, with purple gloves.
And then finally we have James Winston's trainer for Friend of the Year
because he's just there.
And he's, I mean, I at some point like you can only whip a guy with a towel and throw,
you know, pool noodles at his head.
That's Friend of the Year.
Yeah.
No, I don't understand how he's coming up with the different exercises.
You just know that his trainer has to be thinking every hour of every day
that he's not with James Winston.
He's planning new exercises for James to try.
Yes.
Say, OK, we're going to put bees in your pants next time.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm going to shoot you with a paintball gun.
Yeah, have we tried getting out of the pocket while skydiving?
I've greased up this eel, OK?
So I want you to swing it around your head like a lasso with one hand.
I'm going to hit you in the stomach with a wiffleball bat.
I could just imagine them like playing five on five basketball,
but James has a football the entire time.
Do they be sick?
Yeah, it would be so sick.
That would actually teach you a lot.
I kind of want to play foot basketball.
Yes.
Yes.
All right.
The winner of Friend of the Year, it's John Cena and had to be John Cena.
John Cena, repping his friends.
No jokes.
Just straight, again, condolences to John Cena and his friend who passed away.
We hope that he's doing OK, that he's.
Well, his friend's dead, so.
No, we hope.
Oh, OK.
We hope John's doing OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes.
You know, eventually you will move on.
Yeah, eventually we can make jokes again, but now is not the time.
No.
So John Cena, Friend of the Year.
All right, next up.
Next up, we have Lib of the Year.
This is a very prestigious award.
It is.
We've had this award.
This is what, the seventh year, probably?
Yeah, I think Chris Long's won it like six times.
Chris Long and Billy are the, they're the goats of the award.
It's like when you look at the AFC quarterbacks that have made the Super Bowl
over the past like 12, 15 years, that's what Chris Long and Billy have been doing.
Just going back and forth duking it out.
So it's no surprise that Chris Long is nominated for Lib of the Year once again.
OK.
Next nominee is Billy Football.
Yes.
Billy Football nominated again for Lib of the Year.
He just decided nobody wants to work anymore.
Yep.
Classic Lib stuff going on there.
He's, yeah.
Billy got a check from Biden and stayed home.
Yes, yes.
Minus 1,000 each, Billy and Chris when they had the Vegas odds for this.
Yes, yes.
Next nominee is Jack Del Rio for apologizing.
Yeah, totally.
For calling January 6th a dust up.
Really, you let the woke mob get to him.
Real men don't apologize.
As opposed to the real mob.
Yep.
The next nominee for Lib of the Year is Rex Chapman.
This is more of a career recognition award for outstanding work in the field of being a Lib.
Rex Chapman is the go-to Lib guy on Twitter.
He just logs on every day and he's like, I'm just going to Lib in your face.
He just Libs off.
Yes.
Next, our final nominee is Clay Travis.
Oh.
Clay Travis nominated for Lib of the Year for being pro-choice.
Oh.
For being pro-choice.
What the fuck?
Yeah, kind of fucked up, Clay.
Yeah, really fucked up.
Really fucked up.
Um, and then the winner of the 2022 takey for Lib of the Year.
We have a tie.
What?
We have a tie between best friends, Rex Chapman and Clay Travis.
Oh my god.
Congratulations to both of you guys.
I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about.
Very proud of both of your achievements in the form of Liberi this year.
That is great because it's like participation trophy.
Everyone gets a Lib of the Year.
Yeah, you know what?
Let's give trophies to the other ones too.
Right.
The winners are Rex and Clay.
Yeah.
Let's make sure that we tweet that at them.
That's a great, great honor.
Congrats, guys.
Yes.
Okay, next up, we have Pervert of the Year.
A lot of perverts this year.
First up, Andrew Cuomo for being a big time pervert.
Slapping asses, kissing people, doing a lot of shit.
You remember when he showed up for that press conference
and he was wearing a real tight fitting dress shirt?
Yeah.
Everybody was like, what the fuck?
Andrew Cuomo's got a nipple ring?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was also great because Andrew Cuomo's story arc went from,
oh my god, daddy vibes to, whoa, this guy is a fucking freak.
Yeah.
No, it went from, I want this guy to fuck me raw to,
I can't believe this guy just fucked me raw.
Yeah, right, exactly.
All right.
What a sicko.
Yeah, god damn it.
Next up, we have Max Homa for being Italian
and also pro-creating this year.
So big time pervert move to have sex.
We have Deshaun Watson.
Don't think we need to explain that.
He is definitely in the pervert category.
And lifetime achievement, he's just going to be nominated every year,
Jeffrey Tubin for jerking off in front of all of his co-workers
and then having to go on air and just be like,
yeah, I did that, my bad.
I jerked off.
Wasn't that last year?
Yeah, but he's lifetime achievement.
Lifetime.
Yeah, he's going to be nominated every year.
All right, the winner of Pervert of the Year,
PFT's got a guest presenter for us.
I'm Chris Hansen and I'm here to present a very prestigious award.
And we have a lot of great sicko nominees this time around.
Drum roll, please.
Max Homa.
That's right, Max Homa.
Why don't you take a seat right over there
because you have won Pervert of the Year, my friend.
Wow, watching.
Congrats, Max.
Congrats, Max.
We should have also said Max.
Not only he's having a baby, he is Italian,
but he didn't really protest the idea of tiger fucking his wife.
So big time Pervert.
He's in Italy right now thinking about it.
Yes, exactly.
So, Max, congratulations.
You are the Pervert of the Year.
Next up, this one's a big one.
Next up, this one's a big one.
This is a big one.
Now, there's a lot of weight that comes on our shoulders
with this next award because we've been, unfortunately,
our timing hasn't been great with this award.
This is the Tommy LaSorta still alive person of the year
in memory of John Madden who won the award last year.
Yep, so that says a mouthful right there.
So, yeah, so last year, John Madden won it
and the year before, Tommy LaSorta won it.
Yes, okay.
So this next winner, I guess you could say
they've got a lot to live up to.
Yes, big time.
Hopefully, John Cena's not friends with any of them.
The first nominee is Willie Mays.
Willie Mays still alive.
Yeah, all right.
Still alive.
Good job, Willie.
Barry Bonds tweeted a picture to be,
it appeared to be a picture of him at his funeral.
Yep.
Willie was just asleep.
He was asleep.
He was asleep.
He was just taking a nap.
Yes.
Next nominee is Joe Biden.
Yeah.
Still alive.
As of now, I actually just saw like an hour ago he got COVID.
Oh, he did and he might have cancer
because he slipped up and said that too.
And he can't stop falling off bikes.
Like this motherfucker's gonna die.
Yeah, he is.
He is really tempting it.
He's going up against death door and being like,
hey, you ready?
I mean, his son will probably accidentally kill him
at some point.
Yes.
Next nominee is Queen Elizabeth.
Ooh, she's still alive.
The Queen Mum, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, and her husband died.
That guy died?
Yeah.
No way, he was so spry.
Queen Elizabeth, it'd be very funny
if she got coseted by that absolute unit that walks around.
Oh, yeah.
If she just like sat down on a chair.
Oh, she crawled under my ass for a while.
That's what I'm hoping for.
That'd be a proper way to go out.
The next nominee is Jack Nicklaus.
Jack Nicklaus still alive.
Yes.
So we saw him at the open, saw him at the Masters.
A lot of people did not realize,
all-time major champion winner, not Tiger Woods.
In fact, it's Jack Nicklaus.
Yep, that is a fact.
And then the final nominee is Sister Jean.
Ooh.
Sister Jean still alive, little bitch.
She's alive.
She's alive.
She's rolling around.
She's a witch, so she'll never die.
You can throw in water, she'll swim away.
And the winner of the Tommy Lasorda Still Alive
Person of the Year in Memory of John Madden is Queen Elizabeth.
Whoa.
Queen Elizabeth.
Congratulations to Queen.
One of her stupid fucking jubilees this year.
I can't remember which one it was.
Cherry or diamond or something like that.
But yeah, Queen Elizabeth.
Good luck this next year.
We're all rooting for you.
You're going to stay alive.
For sure.
All right.
Next up, we have the longest injury recovery of the year.
Some people had some trouble with injuries this year.
The first nominee is Kawhi Leonard, who I still
don't even know what he injured.
Do you tear his ACL?
I think he tore his ACL.
But people just completely forgot that Kawhi Leonard was even around.
Yeah.
When everyone did their top 10 players,
Kawhi just got forgotten because that's just every other year
he's just gone for the year.
Zion Williamson, who was injured for the year,
looking quite healthy in his recovery.
Not missing many meals.
Yep.
Was injured this year.
Ben Simmons, who had the double injury.
He was taking time off for mental health.
And then he hurt his back.
And everyone thought he was going to play.
And then he just didn't play.
So congrats to Ben for being nominated.
And then finally, Stephen A. Smith,
who is actually recovering right now as we speak
from a lot of injuries.
So he tweeted, appreciate the love I've been receiving
from everyone who's missed me on first take.
I'm out because I'm rehabbing from shoulder surgery
partial tear, rotator cuff, and bicep,
along with frayed labrum plus a bone spur.
Aging sucks, but it is what it is.
Back next month.
This is just crazy because in dog years,
Stephen A. Smith missing a month of first take
is like 10 years.
Yeah, it's crazy because Stephen A. Smith,
he should just say, I don't want to work in August.
Right.
That's what this means.
Your mouth is a long way from your shoulders,
Stephen A. Smith.
Yes.
Okay, so the winner, we have a guest presenter for this.
All right, the takies are here again.
And I am proud to announce the winner
of the longest recovery from an injury this season.
A man who has no heart.
A man who is literally a steered of playing.
A man who wishes that he had a hammock for the sidelines
because he does not intend to ever play.
Yes, that's right.
Is it in front?
Yeah.
I am talking about Ben Simmons.
Congratulations on your take the award and enjoy a season
in that drama box shithole, the Brooklynettes.
Oh, what a team.
And that is our good friend, Frank, the tank,
who when I hit him up asking him for that video,
he just replied, just about about to have pizza,
so we'll have to wait.
But he did get it to us.
That should be a nominee for our next category.
What?
Oh, for Alpha of the year?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, he does Alpha everyone.
So congratulations to Ben Simmons.
OK, next up, Alpha of the year, PFT.
Yes, it was a big year in Alpha-ing.
Yeah, I'm actually looking at some of the nominees right now.
I don't like this.
Yeah, so I don't know.
I don't know what direction we're going to go,
but I do know that two of the nominees
are kind of tied together.
Big Cat got Alpha a lot this year.
Yeah.
That's fine.
It happens.
But one of our nominees would say a true Alpha
knows when to concede, and that's Dan Campbell,
who's nominated for Alpha of the year.
Yes.
And then the other two that I mentioned,
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Alpha'd you by simply thumbs-upping
one of your texts to him saying, hey,
we're going to be in Ashburn, Virginia tomorrow.
We're interviewing Coach Rivera.
Would love to interview you too.
And he thumbs-upped it.
He thumbs-upped it.
But he came on the show.
Yes, he did.
The other is Kevin Durant for leaving you on red.
He is just constantly thumbs-upping me.
Yeah, thumbs-upping you all day.
The other nominees are Mike Greenberg
for taking everybody's show at ESPN
and simply running the station by himself.
He is a true Alpha.
And then Jake Marsh, our darling Jake,
is also nominated for Alpha of the year,
just for excellence in the field of being an Alpha.
His Alpha just seeps out at all times.
At all times.
When he hit me with the hang the banner, just casually.
It cuts so deep.
Or when we played tennis and he just let out that let's go,
and it was just like, oh, God.
Yep, when he does anything to Hank.
Yep.
Yeah, when he has any interaction with Hank, period.
Oh, the Celtics beat the heat.
That ended it.
Yeah, but I mean.
Facts.
You somehow managed to Alpha him when he hit you in the nuts.
Yes.
Because everybody was like, Hank, what the fuck?
Yeah, right, right.
That's way over the line.
Yes, yes.
Also could have been nominated for slap of the year.
Yeah.
Coming up soon.
So Alpha of the year, again, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick,
Kevin Durant, Mike Greenberg, Jake Marsh, and Dan Campbell.
And the winner of the 2022 Alpha of the year, Drumroll.
Our darling, Jake.
Yeah.
Jake wins again.
Thank you guys.
Yeah, you're welcome.
It's an honor.
Back to back years now.
Oh, see, that's Casual Alpha right there.
I didn't even know it was back to back.
I had no idea.
Honestly, I'm not even sure.
So I might have been wrong there, but.
Why not?
No, now you're going to look at him and be like, oh, yeah,
I was right about that.
Yeah, actually, three years now.
Sorry.
No, definitely not three years.
You guys didn't start this joke until me and Hank.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
When you alphaed him with the stepover.
But yeah, it's an honor.
Thank you to AWLs.
And yeah.
What's the secret, Jake, to being a true Alpha?
Just keep your head down and be myself.
And you guys think I'm an Alpha.
Well, you are.
Yeah.
There's no thinking.
It is the fact.
You just said the secret to Alpha is being an Alpha.
Yeah.
You're an Alpha.
I agree.
Through and through.
All right.
Great job, Jake.
Congratulations.
Next up, we have Slap of the Year,
which I'll throw in nominee Hank slapping Jake in the nuts.
That absolutely should be a nominee for Slap of the Year.
We also have Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.
Whatever happened to all those people who thought that was fake?
Billy, what happened to you?
What happened to you?
His torso real well.
Oh, really?
It did.
He talks about it all the time, right?
Chris Rock, one of the biggest comedians of all time.
Yes, Hank, you wouldn't believe it.
There was that one show where everyone was like, see?
And it was all secondary tickets that he didn't get a dollar from.
I just think it's bullshit that Hollywood
is now blackballing Will Smith for the slap.
Yeah.
If they were smart, they would put Will Smith on everything now.
Yes.
Because Will Smith is hot.
Yes, real hot in the streets.
Jack Peterson for getting slapped by Tommy Pham.
So actually, this should be Tommy Pham's award if he wins.
Tommy Pham slapping Jack Peterson in the outfield
before a game over a fantasy football fight.
We have video evidence.
Well, I mean, that's a story.
Jake, put that in your calendar.
Can you just remind us that story like November 7th?
Just give us a reminder.
Got it.
Remember when two major league baseball players
got in a fight over fantasy football
and one of them slapped the other?
It was really, it was a fight over using
hyper-aggressive gifts in a group chat about fantasy football.
Yes, and a little waiver wire too.
The intro to the list.
Yeah, the stashing.
And then we also have John Howard,
when he smushed my coach, Greg Gardner, in the face.
Well, he slapped.
He smushed Joe Krabbenhoff.
Did he slap Greg Gardner?
I think he just smushed Krabbenhoff.
He smushed, but it was...
We're going to count that as a slap.
Yeah, that's a slap.
All right.
The winner of Slap of the Year, big year for slaps.
It's Tommy Pham.
Tommy Pham wins Slap of the Year.
Just an all-time story.
One of the best stories we've had in a long time
that still is hilarious just thinking about.
I can't wait for November 7th.
That will be official Tommy Pham day.
I do think that slapping has made a comeback recently
because you've seen a lot of those,
I think it's Russian fights that they have,
or Russian slap competitions,
where they stand at the same table.
I still don't know the rules of that
because every time I watch it,
there's a guy that just uses his whole body
and slaps the shit out of the guy.
And then another guy that just goes like straight arm,
45-degree angle, casual slap,
and that guy always loses.
I love slaps.
Slaps are great.
You can't really get that hurt from a slap.
It's also just a very...
Once you get slapped, you either have to go full-out fight
or you just have to eat it and walk away.
I would rather get knocked out with a punch
than slap really hard disrespectfully.
Slaps suggest you're less or not worth punching.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not going to waste my fist on this.
I'm just going to go open hand.
Okay, next up, we've got a few more.
Next up, we have Trend of the Year.
The Trend of the Year this year in 2022.
The first nominee is Taking Your Salary in Bitcoin,
or in crypto.
That's real hot.
A lot of guys took all their salary.
I think Russell O'Koon was patient one on this,
but I know Spencer Denwitte did it.
A few other guys have done it.
I'm taking my salary here, part of my taking apes.
So I get three apes an episode and a couple slurp juices.
The second nominee is...
I get Ascoine.
Ascoine?
Yeah, that's all I get.
I got mine last year in Cumrocket.
In Cummys, the market really tanked.
There was a cum bubble that popped.
Ripping Pants is nominated for Trend of the Year.
Ripping Pants from the back,
Billy got his pants ripped off multiple times,
once while talking to a girl,
once while at a boxing match.
I got my pants ripped off.
My balls flew out.
Billy put my balls on TikTok.
There have been a couple other pants rips
going around in the office.
Will Compton got one pant leg ripped.
Next nominee is Cap.
Cap, Trend of the Year.
Everyone's saying Cap.
Big trend.
The kids are saying Cap left and right.
It's the Year of the Cap.
And then the final nominee is the Crying Face Filter on Snapchat.
That was real hot for the whole year.
And it still kind of fucks me up every now and then
when I see it and I'm like,
wait, is that person actually crying?
Nope, filter.
Yep.
And actually a great time to be a crier.
For sure.
He's like, no, that was the filter.
100%.
Mr. Barelli's living large.
Yes.
The winner of Trend of the Year is Ripping Pants.
Ripping Pants, Billy.
Congratulations.
Hell yes, Billy.
Billy, you are the Pied Piper of the pants rip.
He brought it to us.
I remember we were in Vegas and he said,
hey, I need you to rip my pants.
And I was like, okay.
And then it was one of those moments.
I trusted Billy and it went dummy viral.
I'd like to shout out the original video.
I saw people ripping pants.
It was a bunch of dudes drinking beer in a basement.
Fuck yes.
And one of them, they were all wearing jeans.
And one guy was leaning against the bar
and his friend grabbed his pants and ripped them.
What?
But it was harder than some of our clean rips.
I think we originated the clean rip.
This guy got tossed around like a rag doll
while he was trying to rip off his friend's pants.
Yeah, the first pants I ripped of yours were very old jeans.
And you're like, these will rip.
I also, I love the people who just can't enjoy
a good pants ripping.
And they're like, it was pre-cut.
I also love the people who are like, that's so fucked up.
How could you do that?
Just really great gamut of internet
that we have with the pants ripping.
We're paid professionals.
Don't try this at home.
Yeah, that's a fact.
True.
That's a fact.
OK, next up, we got four left.
This is the fourth to last.
This is ratio of the year.
So very prestigious award.
Do we know who won it last year?
Was the guy who said he didn't come on as cats?
That was a couple of years ago.
So I didn't fuck my cats.
Last year, we had five nominees, all five
were Kevin Durant and the winner was his interaction
with Shannon Sharpe.
Y'all drunk uncle out here lying again.
When did I say that Shannon Sharpe?
Wow.
I'm trying to see the context.
It was the lead.
This construction sucks.
It was the lead.
All right.
So good segue because Kevin Durant is nominated
only once this year.
He had, there was someone named Cuffs the legend
on Twitter said Kyrie needs a better team around him.
Kevin Durant quote tweeted and said Kyrie needs a better
team around him.
And then a picture, very funny picture of a dude just sitting
on his phone in an empty apartment room with no furniture.
Very funny tweet that ended up having 37,000 retweets.
And the original tweet only had 39 retweets.
Incredible.
Incredible ratio.
The next up we had, so we had Mike Florio on
and we found one that he got ratioed on.
And then I went and I looked, he's been ratioed many times.
But actually the most ratio, the biggest ratio he had was
his steak picture.
Mike Florio is the last person, our good friend,
last person to enter the world and honestly give a steak
picture expecting good results.
Nothing good happens.
He said, trying this again, I needed to give
steak Twitter something to chew on.
Wagyu strip 18 ounce.
It looks like tuna the way he cooked it.
It has 12, over 1200 quote tweets and only 52 tweets.
That's also another thing about the ratio.
The ratio has now changed where it's really
about quote tweets.
Like the quote tweets are what gets you.
The next up is the Chicago Cubs for trading away
everyone who won a World Series in 2016.
And then the day after the trade they said,
here's our starting lineup for tonight.
And that had 1200 quote tweets.
I also wrote here's tonight's starting ratio
underneath that one.
And I got 13,000 likes.
Their original tweet only had 2,000 likes.
Incredible.
So yeah, that was a good ratio.
I'd like to see a consequential team out there
just like make up a starting lineup.
Include their one.
So the pirates could probably do it.
If they put O'Neill Cruz and then just made up
every other name around to be like,
here's tonight's starting lineup.
Probably nobody would even notice.
Yeah, and I'm not a ratio guy,
but that was a thrilling ratio to be a part of.
Just be like, here's your starting ratio.
I'm not a ratio guy, but what I am, counter ratio guy.
I like to reverse.
I play the reverse card in Nuno.
Yeah, I like to do the credit card
and says your ratio has been declined.
Ratio decline.
I also like putting the picture of the ref and soccer,
doing ratio check.
Yeah.
Doing VAR and then ratio denied.
Red card.
Those are great.
We have Annalyn McCourt who is,
I don't know why she's famous.
Was she an actress, I believe?
I believe so.
She put out a video when Ukraine and Russia,
the war started there.
She said, dear Mr. President Vladimir Putin,
and in her video, she basically was like,
I wish I were your mother,
because if I were your mother, I would have hugged you
and raised you correctly with so much joy in your life.
And everything here, I'll actually play a little bit of it
because, well, let's wait, let's go.
So she had 113,000 quote tweets.
113,000 quote tweets.
She probably made up like 5% of Twitter that day.
It was something else.
Okay.
And then finally, our last nominee is Stuart Mandel,
who is a writer at Sports Illustrated, I believe.
I don't know where he writes.
But when it was announced that we had a bowl game,
Barstool Bowl game, he wrote, business is business,
but at least ESPN is not a notoriously misogynistic company.
If you are familiar, these guys have all the fun
or something, whatever the book title is.
Yeah, those guys have all the fun.
Those guys have all the fun about ESPN in the early days.
Also, they've had stories like last year
about the misogyny there.
He had 559 quote tweets on his and only 15 real retweets.
That's incredible.
Yeah, really nice.
All right.
The winner of the ratio of the year drumroll, please.
It is Annalyn McCord.
Congratulations, Annalyn.
Her open letter to Mr. Vladimir Putin
and here to accept the award is Annalyn McCord.
Dear President Vladimir Putin,
I'm so sorry that I was not your mother.
If I was your mother, you would have been so loved,
held in the arms of joyous light,
never would the stories plight the world,
unfurled before our eyes, a pure demise of nation,
sitting peaceful under a night sky.
If I was your mother, the world would have been a war.
All right.
You get the gist.
So she went on and on about fantasizing about Putin
being Putin's mother.
She was like, if you had these titties,
yeah, you would not be invading Ukraine.
Yeah.
You'd be a peaceful man.
I love it too, because it's not only the ratio of the year,
but it might be narcissism of the year to be like,
if I was your mother, I would have stopped all war.
Yeah, it's also fucked up like towards Putin's actual mom.
Like, how do you know she wasn't a nice lady?
Yeah, she could have been great.
That's low key misogynistic.
It's like blaming Putin's mom for everything that he's done.
Right.
Right. That's true.
That's a very good point.
Billy.
Putin's mom lived through Stalingrad.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
She's a tough woman.
So she's, yeah.
I would trust Putin's mom to raise me before her.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's go to the next one.
That was a great one.
Ratio of the year.
Anilin McCord, congratulations.
Great honor.
Congratulations.
The next award is an annual award that we do.
The preemptive take of the year award.
Preemptive take of the year.
So we're calling our shot for what the take of the year
in 2022 slash 2023 is going to be.
Hank, give us your preemptive take of the year.
It could be someone else is going to say this
or you could actually have the take.
Do you want me to start?
Yeah.
I'll start.
Okay.
Thanks, Hank.
He's just lost for words right now.
Here's my take.
I think that we are going to get a one on one sit down
interview with Dan Orlovsky and Dishon Watson.
And he is going to set him straight now how to not be horny.
That's great.
I want that.
I need it.
I'm going to call my shot.
It's way outside the ballpark shot.
I think the chancellor may be less than 1%,
but I'm going to call it.
That's my preemptive take of the year.
So Dan Orlovsky, according to his rules,
it would be like Dishon, don't ever go to a room by yourself.
Don't ever be in the same room as a woman.
Yep.
He might, the thing about Dishon though,
have we considered like it might not be a woman thing.
It might just be like a massage thing.
Yeah, it might be.
He might have just massaged, too much massage porn.
Like it might be a hand is a hand.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what he'll do?
Dishon Watson to get around that.
He'll make a milking table for himself
that he'll bring with him like he brings his towel.
Yeah.
Face down, can't see what's going on underneath the table.
If you've seen that,
that would actually be the perfect Dan Orlovsky.
He's, they're sitting, I imagine they're sitting in a giant room
very close together and he just takes Dishon Watson's hand.
He's like, look at this hand.
This hand can do everything for you.
Throw a football, jerk you off, everything.
Anything.
And he maybe even just shows him the motion too.
I mean, according to Dan,
if you're just hanging out with the bros jacking each other off,
that's actually, that's good.
Yes.
That's saving your marriage.
Yes, that's absolutely saving your marriage.
So yeah, Dan Orlovsky interviewing Dishon Watson.
I like that.
PFT, why don't you go?
So we give Hank another exam.
Oh, got yours?
Okay.
Okay, why don't you go ahead, Hank?
I think this is the year that LeBron responds to skip.
Whoa.
Tries to cancel.
Whoa.
Tries to get him off the air.
How bad is this construction, by the way?
Really bad.
Okay.
All right.
So I thought last year, it's really bad.
I thought last year what LeBron was doing with Westbrook.
Power drilling was smart.
Maybe three feet away from the studio.
Because he brought Westbrook in to kind of serve as a human
shield against Skip Bayless.
Yes.
Knowing that Skip would go after Westbrook
instead of going after LeBron, little did he realize
that that just gave Skip Bayless fuel to be like,
look who LeBron brought in.
And here's why.
Skip's going to start going after Brony Jr.
And then LeBron's going to be like,
that's a bridge too far, times up.
He's going to try and times up Skip.
Okay.
I like New Media.
Yeah.
God, he's going to New Media.
Yeah.
All right.
Fair enough.
Okay.
Billy.
Disconstruction.
Should I go out?
That was about to say, should we open the line and tell him to stop?
Yeah, Billy.
You work construction.
You can talk to these guys.
Okay.
Billy's going to go get this construction stopped.
All right, Billy.
Good luck.
By the way, Billy won this category last.
No, go out.
I can't.
By his take being 2022 is going to be sick.
Yeah.
That was the winner.
Literally.
That's what he said.
That was, that was a great call by him.
Hank actually had a good one.
It was a nominee.
The NCAA will be defunct within five years.
Now with the conference realignment.
Wow.
That's interesting.
Hank.
Okay.
What was mine?
It was Mike Florio and Max Kellerman were the other ones.
Max Kellerman said Tom Brady is falling off a cliff.
Okay.
Mike Florio with Richard Sherman's agent in COVID.
I don't know the context of that one.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
That sounds both of them, right?
I don't know why,
but they both sound like they happened.
PFT yours.
Mine.
It's time for Bill Bilal to check to retire.
Oh.
It's time.
The gate has the game passed him by.
Wow.
I feel like you've been saying that.
Wow.
I've never said that.
I guarantee you have.
No, you're projecting.
You're projecting.
Wow.
Because we know.
I don't shadow of a doubt in my mind.
We know that.
We said those words before.
We know that Tom has won the divorce.
He won a Super Bowl.
Mac Jones.
I'll put it this way.
If Mac Jones is not the answer this year.
He is.
If he's not, I think we're going to have the conversation.
Bill, is it time to go coach lacrosse?
I have some savior metrics for you about Mac Jones,
if you want them.
Yeah, hit me.
Let me pull them up.
Two DUIs.
Nope.
No.
More DUIs than.
He was in Alabama, whatever.
More DUIs than complete passes against the Bills
in their Monday Night Football win against them.
Oh, shit.
Never mind.
I don't have them.
I can't find the tweet.
Saliencio, solamente ahora.
Whoa.
Por favor.
We got an hour.
That's not going to be enough, but that's good.
You go back out there.
Yeah.
I like that.
Uno más.
Way to go, Billy.
Billy Spanish Speaker of the Year award.
Joe Burrow, 520 passing attempts, 4198 air yards.
Mac Jones, 521 pass attempts, 4,260 air yards.
Air yards.
I love it.
I love the air yards.
I love air yards.
Yeah.
Air yards is a great stat.
That's two falls apart in air yards.
Yeah.
It's way.
I'm two and on, but yeah.
Okay.
Who hasn't gone?
Jake, Billy, preemptive take of the year.
A team that a PMT member roots for will win a championship.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm out.
Never know.
Selfish.
Yeah, I'm out.
The selfish hatchback.
We have so many opportunities.
Yeah.
I know, but I'm 100% out.
U.S. men's soccer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Congratulations.
By default.
Yeah.
There we go.
Maybe the sky will go back to back.
Yeah.
I'm out.
Just circle back on this.
There's actually like, if you could parlay against all the Chicago teams,
it would be the best part ever.
Keep in mind, Big Cat, if Ohio State wins the College Football Playoff,
you're going to count that.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
That is a big 10.
Yeah.
Might win.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was like, that's sad that we just all Hank has to win it.
I know, Republicans probably taking the house back for Billy.
Yeah, Billy.
Shut up, Billy.
Just won.
I was just livid the year.
Red wave, baby.
Red wave.
He's just a livid the year.
No, you weren't.
You're not a livid the year.
But yeah, you're nominated.
I got an participation from you.
Yeah, you did.
You were nominated.
You were nominated.
Yeah, yeah.
Billy's the only person that can be simultaneously MAGA and LIB.
You're like the libist MAGA out.
Well, I'm just the worst of both sides.
Yeah, you are.
You are the worst of everything.
Yeah.
Okay, Billy, your preemptive take of the year.
Do we review past takes?
Yeah.
You won last year.
2022 is going to be sick.
It's been pretty sick.
Well, maybe not for you personally.
Okay, it was sick till like the last month.
Maybe I've not been sick, but it was sick before that.
Yep.
I'm going to go.
It was really sick for you before that.
I know.
I know.
I'm going to go.
I'm not going to say it's 2023.
It's probably going to be...
I'm going to say that it's going to be the year of just
normality.
A return to normalcy.
Nice.
I think we're going to go.
And that is in conjunction with the red wave?
No.
Oh, okay.
I think that means that the Patriots
are winning another Super Bowl.
I just love the idea of like Billy,
like when he was out with the La Crosse Bros.
That fateful night and he was like,
they're like, dude, don't you have to work tomorrow?
He's like, no, no, dude.
I already said 2022 is going to be sick.
Like it's good.
They know.
Intertaining clients.
All right.
Good job.
Good preemptive takes.
All right.
We have a winner?
No.
We picked the winner last time.
It was Billy.
I don't think we should pick a winner right now.
I mean, that was clearly the best one.
I think we have to wait.
Yeah.
We have to wait.
Yeah.
We have to wait.
I hope it's Billy.
Normality would be good.
Normality would be great.
All right.
It is time.
Before we do this, let's go to an ad.
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Okay, let's do it.
Blake of the Year.
Okay, it is now time for one of the most important
takey awards given.
I'd say it's the most important.
It is the Blake of the Year award.
Just to refresh everyone's memory,
we've done it different ways.
We did Who Can Answer the Phone faster.
Last year, we did the ping pong ball draft
that I think was maybe the low point for this show in general.
I think the low point for recorded audio.
Yes, it was tragic how that went.
But this year, we have Blake Bortles
and Blake Griffin are good friends.
Blake Bortles is, is he the, did you win last year, Blake?
I did, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So you are the defending champ, Blake of the Year.
And you'll notice there is not a third Blake this year.
It is Brooks Kepka.
He has been suspended because he joined the live tour.
Upon appeal, upon appeal, he has given us a statement.
I'm going to say right now from this statement,
we can decide as, as a community here
whether we should lift his appeal for next year.
But he's, he is suspended for this year.
He wrote, following my suspension,
I scheduled my honeymoon to keep myself distracted.
But I'd like to say I made sure this was a Blake of the Year
type year for me.
I competed during the year, didn't throw a touchdown,
didn't throw down a dunk for an entire year,
nor did I win.
But I got a super max deal as Blake would say to help my team win.
I hope to win within the near future,
since I only have to, to now beat 47 people every weekend.
So that is Brooks's official statement.
I think personally we should unsuspend him
for next year's Blake of the Year.
I'll let everyone decide though.
I'll consider a time served in my opinion.
I'm going to vote with Big Cat.
I say that, that Blake is welcome back next year.
Yeah.
So you guys, Blake's, what do you think?
Go ahead, Blake.
I think it's a compelling argument.
I think, I think you guys are right.
I think there has to maybe possibly be one caveat.
And that's that we get to fly on the live jet.
Yup, smart.
I like that.
To the tournament.
I mean, you know, it's, words are great.
I like to say that.
It's words are great.
I like to see people live it out.
So if we can go watch him, you know,
play a tournament, fly with him, all that,
just to make sure he's living up to Blake code.
Yeah.
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm willing to allow it.
Okay.
Yeah.
What do you think, Blake?
Yeah, I agree with everything that's said.
I'd like to be on that plane as well.
Maybe if he threw a party, I think that would maybe make up
for some of the things that have happened,
but I'd welcome him back with open arms.
Okay.
So a party and a trip on the live jet,
and then he's officially unsuspended.
Yeah.
You got to, you got to show him love, you know,
you got to bring back, bring him back to the lightness
with a little bit of your love.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
So it is the two man race this year before we do it.
So how we're going to do it is,
is PFD has come up with some trivia that we're going to give
the Blake's and we'll decide Blake of the Year from that.
Let's first go with Blake Griffin before we start the trivia.
Anything you'd like to say about your past year
and how everything went?
Yeah, sort of honestly, man, not to get too dramatic,
but everything sort of went downhill
after last year's Blake of the Year.
I had a rough year fellas,
and I think it started with those ping pong balls.
Yeah.
Now I came and look at a ping pong ball
without thinking of the devastating loss,
but I will say this, it's an honor to lose.
If I have to lose to somebody, I'd rather lose to a Blake.
Yeah.
We did go see in the playoffs this year, Blake.
It was game four, and you were...
Oh, cool.
I played that one.
Yeah, you did.
I was about to say, you were hustling.
You were on the ground like all the time.
Thanks, man.
Just trying to bring the grit,
grit, you know, to the name Blake,
make the other Blake's proud.
But yeah.
Okay.
It was nice.
Yeah.
All right, and Blake Portals,
your year as champion of Blake of the Year.
How'd it go?
The Blake of the Year competition last year
was probably the high point of my year.
I didn't throw it back down past or dunk
or win a golf tournament this past year,
but, you know, things are looking to turn around this year,
I think.
Yeah.
I mean, you did play in the NFL though.
Like you were on the Saints.
I got your jersey.
I'm maybe the only person in America that got it.
I did.
I was on a couple of sidelines last year,
so we'll see if anything comes from that.
This kind of begs the question,
is there a curse?
Is there a Blake of the Year curse?
That's fair to ask.
Yeah. Yikes.
Let's not think about that.
No.
Let's not think about that.
Probably not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Let's get to the trivia,
decide Blake of the Year this year.
This Blake will have an entire year
to revel in the fact they're Blake of the Year.
People will be calling you Blake of the Year.
Yeah, we got to re-record the intro,
so the Blake of the Year will end up having
the intro to part of my take.
It is our biggest honor that we give out,
and it doesn't come lightly.
You have to do everything that all Blake should do
and act like a Blake at all times.
So, without further ado, PFT, you have our trivia.
Yeah, so we're going to do some Blake trivia right now,
and that's how we're going to decide this.
So, we'll go one at a time.
There are three questions.
Just an opening statement from each of you.
What's your stance on the Saudi Public Investment Fund?
Blake Griffin.
Well, I'm always going first.
I've gone first every time.
I'd like to cherry pick off other people's answers.
Sorry.
Say the question again.
What is your stance on the Saudi Public Investment Fund?
Oh, man, you know what?
Politics, especially today, are such a tough topic,
and I have enough trouble keeping up
with the politics in our own country.
So, it's tough for me to say.
You know, I don't know that I know enough
about that topic to truly speak on it,
and I think that there's good and bad with everything.
It's tricky.
So, you know, God bless America.
God bless everyone.
Yeah, great answer.
Good answer.
And Blake Borel, same question to you.
Where do you stand on the Saudi Public Investment Fund?
And Mohammed bin Salman.
I think that was well said, Blake,
and I couldn't agree more.
All right, you guys tie.
One to one.
Good answer.
This is Ty.
Next question.
This goes to Blake Bortles.
Blake Bortles.
How many people has Matthew Broderick killed?
Is it A, none, B, one, C, two, D, all the above?
I'm going to be honest.
I don't even know who Matthew Broderick is.
Oh, wow.
Ferris Bueller.
Ferris Bueller.
Well, in that case, I think I'd say C, two.
Yes, he had it right.
He got it.
He got it.
He got it.
Wow.
Holy shit.
He has killed two people.
People forget that.
Wow, what an answer.
In a car accident in England in like the 80s.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
All right, Blake Griffin, next question for you.
What is the difference between a C-line and a C-le?
Is it A, the nose, B, the ears, C,
the penis, D, all the above?
Can you read those again for me?
The nose, the ears, or the penis?
I'd say the, well, not the nose.
I'd say the ears.
Yeah.
Whoa.
He got it.
He got it.
That's a fun fact.
C-lines have external ears.
C-les have internal ears.
Wow.
Two, two.
Wow.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
Okay.
Next question.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
Next question.
Blake Griffin, complete the lyric.
Yes.
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies,
choking on your alibis.
But it's just the...
Christ, I am just surprised that they...
Yes.
Yes, you're right, you're right, you're right.
...calling me turning on my ears.
Yes.
Is that it?
Yes, you nailed it.
All right, Blake Bortles.
Blake Bortles, your chance to respond.
Complete this Drake lyric.
You got to be nice for what to these?
That was like a whole verse when I get three words.
Complete the lyric, Blake.
Okay, that one was a joke.
That one was a joke.
I won't make you say that one.
We're tied two, two still.
No, no, it's three, two.
No, no, Blake's whole thing was just set up to get Blake.
All right, so it's three, three.
Yeah, it's three, three.
I'm going to give...
You know what?
We're going to give Blake Bortles credit for the correct answer.
Yeah.
Because you could see he knew, but he didn't want to act like he knew.
Yeah, but you knew.
Because like, is it racist?
No, I don't know.
Yeah, so three, three.
So we're going to go to a tiebreaker here.
Wow.
Blake Bortles, name every team that Blake Griffin has played for in the NBA.
Can I get a total?
Yeah, give him a total.
Yeah, sure.
Three.
Total number?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Three, yeah, three.
Three.
Clippers.
Yep.
Nets.
Yep.
He's trying to forget this as well, so it's fine.
This was a one-year stint, the one I'm missing.
Oh, it's like two.
No, no, no, multiple, multiple years.
Do I answer these or...
No, no, no, no.
No, I know, I don't answer them.
And...
You got it.
Is there a time limit?
No, he has literally forever.
We did the ping pong balls last year or so.
Half under, pace.
I'm struggling.
I don't know.
I'm going to guess and say the suns.
Good guess.
What was the guess?
You give off sun's energy.
Yeah.
It's the pistons.
It's the pistons.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Like, I'm sorry I knew that.
Yeah, shit.
Detroit pistons.
Sorry, buddy.
Yeah.
No way.
No.
I mean, Blake might be on the suns.
He might be part of that KD trade package that he wants.
Yeah, that's true.
You never know.
That's true.
I think we should give him a point for each one,
so it's five to three Blake Bortles.
Well, here's what we'll do because...
Because what I'll say is that Blake Bortles' career,
he's played for twice as many teams as you have Blake Griffin.
So we can just reduce the fraction and say that you can tie Blake on this answer
if you get four of the six teams that Blake Bortles has played for.
And if you get all of them, or five out of six, you're the winner.
Five out of six, I win.
Yeah.
Okay, so we got five teams.
What'd you say?
Teams.
He's only played for five teams?
Oh yeah, you played for one of them twice.
Okay, all right, so five teams.
I know that one.
That was a test point.
All right, so we got Jacksonville.
Yup.
We got the LA Rams twice.
Yup.
We got the Green Bay Packers.
This was right around the time we were doing Blake's the year last year.
Yup.
And, well, I mean, PFT kind of gave us away Saints.
Yup.
And I believe we had a stint in.
I'll give you a hint.
He gave everyone.
You can't.
No, no, it's a hint.
He gave everyone COVID.
Denver.
Oh, congratulations to Blake Griffin for winning Blake of the Year Trivia.
Big Cat, tell him what he's won.
So you have won Blake of the Year Trivia.
You then get to decide heads or tails to decide Blake of the year.
I got the coin right here.
I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to catch it and then I'm going to put it on my palm and I will have
Billy read the answer.
Okay, you're going to catch flip.
Yeah, I'm going to flip it, catch it, and then put it on the back of my hand.
Okay, that changes everything.
Yup.
All right, am I calling it now?
Yeah, call it.
I can't really see the screen.
Call it now.
Call it now.
Tails.
Okay, here we go.
Here's the flip.
Billy, get ready for it to be on the mic.
I like that call.
Okay.
This is, by the way, just showing this to the camera.
This is tails.
This is heads.
Quarter.
Official quarter.
It is a official quarter.
I don't know what year it is.
2013.
Oh, oh my God.
I pulled this off my desk randomly.
What does that quarter say?
This quarter says Mount Rushmore.
It's a Mount Rushmore quarter.
It's a Mount Rushmore quarter.
That is beautiful.
That's beautiful.
All right, here we go.
That meant nothing to you guys.
All right, it meant a lot to us.
Here we go.
He has called tails.
This is for Blake of the Year 2022.
It is tails.
Whoa, congratulations, Blake.
Griffin has won 222.
Blake of the Year.
The King returns.
What a call.
Tails never fails.
Wow.
He's emotional.
He's emotional, folks.
First, let's hear from the loser.
Let's let Blake Griffin catch his breath here.
Blake Portals, a one-year stint as Blake of the Year.
What are you going, what are you thinking about right now?
It hurts, I think.
Most importantly, but at the end of the day,
Blake's a valiant competitor.
He put a lot of hard work and time and energy into this.
And I don't think there's anybody else.
I'd rather see when this award than him.
Wow.
That's what a classy guy.
Well said.
Blake, our winner, our Blake of the Year.
He's won now, I think he's officially a dynasty.
Three out of the last four years.
That's right.
Yeah, so Blake Griffin, how are you feeling?
I mean, honestly, it has off to Blake.
A lot of people don't want to remember the pistons.
My stint on the pistons and that being his downfall.
You know, doesn't seem fair.
He's a great guy, great competitor.
And like you said, it's always fun to go against a Blake.
With that being said, hopefully it's the beginning of a new journey.
You know, a new chapter.
It's always a big thrill.
It's, I needed this.
I needed this.
I'm just thrilled, man.
I almost switched to heads after you said it was a Mount Rushmore quarter.
And I'm glad I stuck with my original choice.
Shout out.
You know, always sticking with your gut.
Thank you to the AWLs as well.
I just want to say, I'm going to get ahead of this.
All the people out there, because I'm sure there'll be a few,
say this was a Mickey Mouse Blake of the year,
because you're only competing against Blake Bortles in this one, not Blake Kepka.
I remind you that I believe for the first two Blake of the years,
these are the original, original Blake's.
Yes.
So don't, don't bring that Mickey Mouse shit to this.
Yeah.
And also shout out live for taking away a competitor and helping my changes by 17%.
Yes, that's true.
Last question for you, Blake Griffin.
So you've won the Blake of the year.
What do you think this is going to mean for next season?
You think maybe Steve Nash actually plays you or what?
I don't know that he's a AWL.
So I don't know that this helps my case though,
but I've been in conversation.
If I do end up back there, but you know, three agencies.
So who knows, who knows, bro?
That's true.
That is true.
Okay.
So I mean, we're hoping that it's a big year for both Blake's.
Again, thank you to, to both of you guys, our favorite award to give out at the Takies.
Blake Griffin, I expect you to, you know, be the best Blake that you can be for the next year,
because this is important.
People will see you and they'll be like, there goes Blake of the year.
That's a, that's a heavy, heavy crown you're wearing now.
Yeah.
Honestly, one of my favorite things to hear from people, you know,
walking down the street, people will shout out Blake of the year.
And that's the thing I always turn around and like give a fist pump, you know,
people could, people could say anything.
I might, yeah, I might not hear it, but you hear those, you hear those words, Blake of the year
and you're, uh, you know, you got a quality, uh, quality person on your hand.
Yes.
Yeah, I love that.
You're a great ambassador for, for Blake-ness.
So thank you.
Yes.
All right, fellas, thank you so much.
We appreciate it.
And, uh, yeah, next year should be interesting when we have a three man race again.
I can't wait to get on that live plane.
Oh dude, that's going to be sweet.
Thanks.
No, thanks.
Thanks to Blake, by the way, to agreeing to that.
Has he agreed yet?
Yeah, he, oh yeah.
No, he'll agree.
He's a, he's officially agreed.
Yes, yes, yes.
All right.
All right.
Thank you guys.
Amazing.
Wait, see you guys.
Thank you guys.
Okay.
That's the take ease.
Good job, everyone.
How about that?
Yeah.
Blake Griffin returns the dynasty's back.
Yep.
And that means also pay attention to the start of the next show
because there might be a different intro.
Yes.
Yes.
So we don't, we don't have any more awards, right?
No.
Love you guys.
Billy, you got an animal fact?
Chocolate cows give chocolate milk.
Jake, is that all the awards?
I believe there's one more.
Oh, what would that be?
That would be listeners of the year.
Podcast listeners.
Jake, why don't you, why don't you intro this one with the nominees
and we'll, we'll sit back and see who might win.
All right.
We have four nominees for this final award of 2022.
First up, the six-time defending champion award-winning listeners
from part of my take.
Oh.
I think they're bad for podcasts actually.
Wow.
Too dominant.
We'll see if they can keep the streak alive.
Next we have Aaron Rodgers, a listener of the Joe Rogan podcast.
Nice.
Probably, yes.
Nice.
Certainly.
The Bodega Hive.
Actually, yeah.
When did we do this?
We did this, we put this together a couple of months ago.
Yeah, we did.
So, we made one mistake.
We won't make one mistake, one mistake.
And lastly, we have the Cumbos.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Stop.
Okay.
So, is it now a coin loss?
Yeah.
Do those, does that nominee convey to the Freeland podcast or?
No, I think it's over.
I think so.
It's just us in verse, it's the AWLs versus Aaron Rodgers.
That's it.
That's what it looks like.
Street football coin.
Yeah, football coin.
What do they get?
It's a tail.
That's what this would be.
We shouldn't do it.
This would be devastating.
We should actually do this.
We should actually do this.
Oh my god.
Holy fuck.
I'm freaking out.
Okay, so what's heads and what, do we give the AWLs tails?
We preach tails.
Wait, wait, wait.
It just won.
It just won for Blake.
I'm going to look up right now.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
Did you dislike Aaron Rodgers even more now?
We have a reason.
He wins this.
If he steals this from our AWLs.
Well, I mean, there were four nominees now there too.
It's kind of like a playoff.
Yeah.
You probably won't win.
No, you have a spin.
If Aaron Rodgers wins, Mickey Mouse.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think we should actually do it.
Yeah.
I think so too.
Let's actually make them earn it.
This is actually, okay.
We fucked ourselves on this.
So full transparency.
This was not planned and we were going to give it to the AWLs.
But now I think we have to do this.
Yeah.
We got to make them earn it.
And this will be their greatest test.
You remember when Aaron Rodgers called tails twice in a row
and like the first time the coin didn't flip
and it landed on tails and they had to do it again.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
All right.
So who's going to see it?
We're going to call it tails for the AWLs.
I can go with the phone.
Yeah.
I can go with the phone.
Proof of the coin right here.
Oh, here.
Come stand over here and so PFT can see it with me.
Yeah.
I want to witness this.
Oh my God.
I think a loss would actually be good for that.
No, Billy.
Billy.
Jesus.
Jesus.
All right.
All right.
It's pension, dude.
It's Aaron Rodgers and Billy football as Joe Rogan podcast.
All right.
I think a loss would be good because then they won't take you for granted.
I'm nervous.
I'm very nervous.
Okay.
I disagree wholeheartedly.
All right.
But you agree with the coin flip?
Yes.
Yeah.
It's got balances.
All right.
So it's tails for the AWLs.
I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to catch it and I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to flip it actually right.
I'll flip it right on the table.
All right.
So I won't even put it on my hand.
Okay.
Catch it and I'm going to slap it on the table.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Oh God.
Wait, wait.
AWLs have tails.
AWLs have tails.
Okay.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God.
It's tails!
It's tails!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Fuck you!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
Oh, it was electric.
Oh, my God.
That was, oh, my God.
Seven time champion.
Oh, my God.
So the world.
Seven.
Wow.
The award-winning listeners.
Hanging that banner, that was the hardest fought one you've ever had
because it literally was up to chance.
And that's got to be the worst loss of Aaron Rodgers' career.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We need to, we need to immortalize this coin.
We should like frame it on the tails.
Holy fuck.
Tails doesn't fail, baby.
Thank you to everyone listening.
This is the best job ever.
We know that.
But fuck, man.
I say it at the end.
Memes, memes, memes.
This text that he doesn't, he's not listening.
He could just hear the screams.
He goes, hank out the ball.
Like I said, this wasn't planned.
I say it at the end of every episode.
Most episodes, I do love you guys.
We all love you guys.
Thank you very much for the time.
We know that you have a lot of other choices.
Thank you for listening to part of my take.
Seven years in a row.
Seven years.
I'm very humbled by this.
I love it.
I love saying how humbled you are when you're receiving an award.
Yeah.
You should be humbled.
The AWLs should be very humbled by being crowned seven time champions.
I mean, we say it all the time, but like it is the truth.
And we do love doing this show.
And doing this for what, seven years now is fucking crazy.
Not every show is the best.
There's been ups and downs, but we love doing it.
We love everyone who listens and interacts with us.
And holy fuck, you guys beat Aaron Rodgers.
I love you even more now.
Like I don't know how I could love the AWLs more.
You just beat Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah.
I never beat Aaron Rodgers.
The only thing is, like if they had lost that.
Oh, I would have been devastated.
I would have just tweeted the PlayStation tweet right now
and everyone be like, wait, did he actually get hacked?
Because it's like the middle of the day on a Thursday.
Also, if they had lost it, everybody
would hate Aaron Rodgers along with you.
Yeah.
And people's days would have been ruined.
Yeah.
Years ruined.
You heard what happened to Blake Griffin.
He didn't play.
All their bios.
Yeah.
Loyal AWLs have six time AWL in their bios.
Six and one.
Two, seven in a row is insane.
Oh my God.
All right.
Numbers, Hank, no pressure.
But if you did get the number here,
that would be the most electric episode we've ever done.
20.
20?
No, seven.
Yeah.
I was going to say, why not seven?
Six.
If it's 29.
26.
All right.
I'll go 27.
91.
They could have actually lost.
No, no, no.
81.
They could have lost.
I know.
That was like the first time.
I also thought the flip was bad.
I was like, oh no, that didn't flip very much.
Oh, 12.
Aaron.
So close.
That's Aaron.
God damn it.
Motherfucker, he's fighting back.
All right.
See everyone on Friday.
Love you guys.
Lost Bears live forever.
Love you guys.
I'll be coming for your lover.
Okay.
I'll be coming for your lover.
I'll be coming for your lover.
I'll be coming for your lover.
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I'll be coming for your lover.
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Take on me.
Take me up.
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