Pardon My Take - US Open Champ Matthew Fitzpatrick, NBA Draft And Mt Rushmore With Joey And Pat From Out And About

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

The NBA Draft happened and the Pistons are back. We talk about the picks and who we're most excited to watch. (00:02:36-00:27:01) Plus Jake is back on the call for PLL this weekend. SCF and the Avalanche have the cup in the building Friday night. (00:28:26-00:34:23) Roger Goodell went in front of Congress and Kyrie Irving wants out of Brooklyn. (00:34:25-00:43:27) US Open champ Matthew Fitzpatrick joins the show to talk about his incredible victory, screwing us over, what its been like after his big win and tons more. (00:44:38-01:07:13) Joey and Pat join us from the Out and About podcast to do the Mt Rushmore of straight things that are low key gay and we wrap up with Fyre Fest of the week. (01:08:05-01:55:38)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, we have the NBA draft. Matthew Fitzpatrick, a Mount Rushmore that I think is one of the funniest Mount Rushmore she's ever done with our good friends, Joey and Pat from the Out and About podcast. The Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low key gay.

We have Goodell, we have Kyrie, we have Stanley Cup finals. It is a huge show, like a sneaky huge show for a June show. And then we have Firefest to wrap it all up before we get to everything, though, our presenting spots are visible. What would you do with the extra money you'd save from switching to visible? You could pay $60 with some carriers. But with visible, it's as low as $25 a month. Think about what you could do with that extra cash.

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OK, let's go. No place to hang out or wash it. And then they can't play all on the sun. Oh, no, we've got to lay down to electric high brand new. And then we take it higher. Oh, we've got to lay down to electric high brand new. It's part of my take. There's enough harsh to the sport.

Welcome to part of my day, presented by visible. Go to visible dot com slash pod get unlimited single line Wilds for as low as $25 a month today is Friday, June 24th. You ready for this PFT? A little, little, little hezzy. Hey, the Detroit pistons are back. They are. I like that pick. Hey, hey, they're building something up in the North Big Cat. Ah, I put some together. So NBA draft, Palo gets picked one. We have to talk about what Woj did, the insider trading that he did, um, crazy, but, and we could talk about whatever pick we want to do, but I, the, the main takeaway, I, I know this is sounds crazy to say, but think Jade and Ivy falling to five,

because Keegan Murray goes forward to the Kings. Jade and Ivy and Kate Cunningham, they're building, you fuck with that. Cause let's build dude. It's, it's going to be something in a couple of years. I like it. I listen, I don't know shit about basketball, but those are two good players that they got. Also Palo, Bankero, he went first overall credit to coach K for going out on a high note right there. Uh, he's, I don't, I, I can never like really tell with, with some of these players, like you go to a team like Orlando, that's just dog shit. To me, they're like probably five years away from being any good. So I don't know when should, when is an appropriate time to do a redraft of players? I feel like it's after like three years or four years.

I'd like to do one right now. Okay. Redrafting. I love, I actually think that the thunder nailed it. I think that check goes to just because a guy named Chet in Oklahoma city, that plays you. Chet, Chet is going to be a perfect fit in Oklahoma city. Uh, not from even a basketball standpoint, just from a life standpoint, from a Chet standpoint, I was a little, I was a little upset that his father didn't have the video camera. Felt like a great moment for him there. He should have had the video camera, but he did have Chet's dad is like, I just, I, I'd love to actually have Chet's dad on the show. He had like a ponytail, um, looking like a, like, uh, maybe a Silicon Valley guy who

made billions in like the seventies and just hasn't changed his look. I love that guy. Um, Jabari going to the Rockets, another great, like draft talk. I love draft talk right after we draft because everything's a good pick, right? Right now. Well, except for whatever the Knicks are doing. That's all I truly understand. The best part of draft night by far is just Stephen A Smith getting more and more progressively despondent about the Knicks. I just wanted like a solo cam on Stephen A Smith, like hanging his head further and further down. Well, the Kings, the Kings. Yeah. So the Kings taking Keegan Murray was, uh, like I, everyone thought it was going to be Jay and Ivy for they went, I like Keegan Murray.

I think he was really good at Iowa, but the Kings are just the Kings and they keep doing Kings stuff. Well, going off that stat with the Kings. So every single year, yes, the player, the team after the Kings pick drafts an all star. That's the trend. They had to keep up with that this year and Detroit was, you knew that Detroit was going to get, get a great player even before the draft started. Yeah. It's that's why Jay and Ivy going to the Detroit, the Pissons are back. Um, also a great part of the draft was Perk just trying to pronounce anyone's name. One of the greatest ones when he, when he compared, I can't remember who he compared him to or who he was comparing, but it was to OJ on a newbie. I probably fucked that up. Jake,

you can give me that, but he called him OJ and a jenobley. So like a combo of, of jenobley and OJ. Can you give us a full pronunciation there, Jake? I'm double checking right now. Ananobi, OJ Ananobi from Indiana. Yeah. But Perk just, he's leaning into it. He doesn't fucking care. He's just like, I'm just going to go all the way into this and I'm just going to mispronounce. Remember last year when he, Moses Moody, like he got stuck in a time warp trying to get that name out. I like, Perk makes me laugh. Like I don't, I know some people, I saw some people being like, it's disrespectful. He can't get the names right. I want to be entertained. There's only so much you can say about every pick being like, this is a great fit. This is a great pick. This guy has

length. This guy can do everything. He can play D. He can, he can shoot threes. Just give me someone mispronouncing every name and I'll be, I'll laugh. It's, it's fine. If the guy's like really Southern like Kendrick Perkins is, then you can mispronounce anything and it's funny. If it's like a Northern accent mispronouncing stuff, it's like, whoa, that's unprofessional. But when it's Perk, it's like, that's kind of what you, you expect that from Perk and then you expect him to say, carry the hell on afterwards. Exactly. Exactly. So, um, one of the big questions I had about this draft is, is Woj. Uh, Woj, so he's inside of trading, right? Like he just, he just completely inside of traded this entire draft. So if you missed it, Woj tweeted at eight 40 this morning, um,

saying that Jabari was going to be the first pick, I believe. And basically everyone, Paolo Bankero went from minus 200 to plus 300 to be the first pick. And then obviously Paolo becomes the first pick and Woj, I assume, just caches in on the other side. I mean, you're allowed to do that. There's no law against it right now. So like as an information broker, so Woj has opportunities, right? Woj could go work for a gambling company if you wanted to, and they get all the information first, or Woj could take less money, stay at ESPN, and then profit like a motherfucker based off all the inside information that he's getting, and like little frosting, little icing on top of the cake that way. And I think that's what

Woj is doing. And, and as far as I understand, I'm not a finance guy. Our finance guy is suspended from the podcast right now, but I feel like that's completely legal. Yeah. I mean, it is, but it still pisses me off. I didn't lose any money. Like I didn't bet it, but if I had, I would have been, I would have been opening up a lawsuit that, you know, class action lawsuit doing one of those commercials that comes on late at night, being like, were you harmed by Woj's tweet for the 2022 draft, because we're going to sue and we're all going to get like $16 back permission to go off real quick. Yeah. I kind of fucking hate the NBA draft. I hate, I hate like this, the little details behind it.

I hate how it's like, I like the picks I like when when teams are making picks, the guys go up, they put their hats on, I don't like that sometimes they make them wear the hat of the team that drafted them. Even when they get traded like immediately, I don't like that part, but I like, you know, I like the theory of players advancing to the NBA, seeing what teams are getting what players, but the NBA has convinced sports fans to do algebraic equations to understand what the fuck is going on. You have to be kind of nuts to understand it. It's like the Hornets shed a two-way expiring contract to the thunder via the trailblazers in exchange for the protected rights of the next second rounder from the first

round play in tournament victory. There's too many rules. They make people like have to follow these little breadcrumbs and know all the shit about the contracts to understand exactly what's going on in these NBA draft day trades and it pisses me off. Well, it's, I mean, it's, it's similar in the NFL where the salary cap just isn't real. So it's like whatever's reported, just figure it out the next day. I, the reason why I'm not like huge on the NBA draft is, let's be honest, every NBA draft, what is there, you know, maybe, maybe four, like all guys who are going to make an all-star team, five of guys that are making an all-star team. There's another like 10 guys that are going to be decent players, some role players, but like it's not, you know,

there's a lot of the majority of the guys in these, in the two rounds of the NBA draft are not going to be in the NBA in three years. I think you're wrong. I don't think that it is like the NFL draft. I think there's way more rules. It's not like the NFL, there's way more there's way more rules though, about like conditional things that have to happen and picks that they've acquired via some other teams from another thing. It's just, it's too much. Like protected picks and stuff. Yeah. All that. And the way that they get moved around, like right after players are drafted, that part pisses me off. You know what? I think, I think your gripe is really that Oklahoma city has so many picks that like it just confuses everything.

That and like everything that happens between the, the Nets and the Celtics. We still haven't figured out who won that trade yet. Yeah. There's still some picks left, but yeah. I mean, the thunder like, so the Knicks, people are mad at the Knicks, right? Knicks fans are very upset, I believe. They're upset because it looks like they got, from my understanding at least, I don't know. It's been a while since they've taken calculus, but it looks like they're pissed off because they got rid of Kimball Walker, essentially his contract. They didn't want to have his contract on the books so that now they can go pursue what's his name from the Mavericks. I forget who they're looking at from the Mavericks. No, a free agent, a free agent. So yeah, Luca, that would be a good

trade. No, probably Jalen Brunson, I think is a free agent. Yeah. Jalen Brunson. That's that's guy. So they are like getting rid of money so that they can go after this guy that they think that the Knicks think is going to be good, but everybody's like, what the fuck? Why are we doing this? We wanted an actual like impact player right now. So right next thing. But they benched Kimball at the end of the year last year. And it's always going to be mad about something. And this is the we're mad about this at the night for Knicks fans. Yeah. And I, you know, I do think there's a frustration anytime you have a pick and then you trade out at the pick and you're like, I want the new shiny thing we want to talk about. Yeah. Johnny Davis to the wizards. Yeah, buddy.

Big cat doing the fucking right hand shake meme. So I want to give a little behind the scenes because I have some insight into the Johnny Davis pick. You might recall from Wednesday's part of my tech. I told you if he gets to 10, the wizards are taking them. So what happened was Memorial Day weekend, I was down in DC, right? I went to the old glory rugby game, the MLR game in DC. I got introduced to John Thompson, the third former Georgetown coach, son of big John Thompson. And he was there. He's working with the wizards now in player development. I was probably like seven to 10 course lights deep at the moment. And so I got introduced to them. And I said, John, I got, I got two words for you. Johnny Davis is the first thing I told

him. And then he looked at me, he goes, what do you mean, Johnny Davis? I was like, I think he's a good defender and he can score at the basket. And he looked at me and he goes, I swear to God, he goes, you sound like you really know your basketball. And I was like, I do, I do. I know a shitload about basketball. He's like, he's not going to be there at 10. I was like, well, if he is there, you got to take me. He's like, we play on it. We intend to. So in this, in this scenario, I might be the homeless guy that told the Cleveland Browns to draft Johnny Manziel. Yeah. Well, so, so you basically were like, when he's like, you don't know, you sound like, you know, your basketball, you should have been like, I went to one college basketball game

this year. Yeah, it was Johnny Davis. It was Johnny Davis. Well, I mean, to be fair, I have been watching Johnny Davis for a couple of years, mostly because you have the Wisconsin games on all the time. And I have liked Johnny Davis a lot. So as a, as somebody who's historically apathetic about the wizards, this is as close as they've come in like the last seven years to making me care about the team. Johnny Davis, you know, I'm going to be rooting for him. So I love it. I love it. And then the Bulls took a dog. That's all I care about. The Bulls took a dog, Dale and Terry from, from the Arizona Wildcats. And I just, like all the tweets are him just talking about how if they do a redraft, it's going to, like in 10 years, it's going to be different.

And, and shit like that, just quotes, they're just dogging them. He said the reason he's in my redraft number three. Yeah. He said his reason for coming out after a sophomore year. I haven't played basketball since I was two to be a college player dog dog dog got that dog in him. He's got that dog in him. And I don't know. He's just got to play some defense, be a wing. As KD said, wings rule the league. We just need wings. Just get guys between six, six and six, nine, and hope that it works out eventually. Also, our good friend, Tom Frinelli, his player comp for Dale and Terry was Draymond Green without a podcast. So he won't be distracted.

That's good, I guess. Yeah. I don't know, four rings. Are you, are you one Draymond Green away from a, from the ring? I'd say so. I'd say that's just a piece. What if we just built it? What if the bulls built the team out of only Draymond Greens? I would watch that game actually. That'd be awesome. Yeah. And they would probably have, they'd probably take number one spot away from us in podcasting. They would probably just collapse the bulls because they won't have a team because everybody would be suspended. Yes. That's true. They would hate each other. Draymond Green would actually hate playing on a team with himself. Yeah. Well, when he sees Dale and Terry,

he's gonna be like two dogs barking in the, in the window at each other. He great podcast though. As our college basketball expert expert, any thoughts, any, any nuggets you want to drop on us? All the Duke guys are going to be a boss. They can't win when it matters most because they lose when all the pressure's on them. Wait, but hold on, Jake, hold on. How many Duke guys went in the first round, three or four? Four. Four. And I think the first round's still going on. And UNC must have had what, like four or five guys going the first round? They're all going to exercise another year and try to run it back. Oh,

so they're going to go lose again and now in the national championship, that sounds fun. Wait, so Duke, Duke sounds like it's just as far as Hicks. So they should have, they should have won it all. Yeah. And they should have beaten UNC in their last home game ever in front of coach K and also cause he's never going to go to Cameron ever again. And also the final four game they played against their rival UNC, did they win that game? Right. You would think that and they were the number one overall seeds. They were favorite to win by seed, but I guess maybe they were checked out because they wanted to go to the NBA and they want to win it for their coach. So I don't know where the blame goes there, but no, they did not win at all. They did lose in

the final four. They did send out their Hall of Fame coach out with a loss to their. Jake, you know, you know what's crazy is that the New Zealand breakers had more first round picks than Syracuse. Yes, they did. But the Bayhams, they're in New York City. They went to John's a bleaker today. So who's the real winner? I'd say the New Zealand breakers. As governors, you guys see the, the wild thing. I won't forget the wild thing this time. Jayden IV's mom played in WNBA and there was a picture I tweeted of him as a baby and her in the WNBA jersey. And the reverse is them hugging in the green rooms and it's wild because now he's in the NBA. She was in the WNBA. That is wild. That's wild. Oh, that is wild.

Nicola Jovic just went to the heat culture. Oh, this is this kicks ass. The team that he played for mega Mozart. What a cool name for a team. By the way, Dale and Terry just tweeted Chicago. With a bunch of O's and D's and then use the demon time emoji. So that's a dog. Is Johnny Davis a dog? Johnny Davis is a dog. We got that. We got that dog in us for sure. He never smiles. His Johnny Davis scouting report is he literally never smiles. Good. Don't smile until you win a championship. That's your reward. And even that, not till your dynasty. How great would it be if the Wizards like late in the second round just took Brad Davidson? Oh, it'd be awesome. That'd be so sick. Just turn the baby badgers, baby. That's just out of nowhere. That would be

incredible. No, like, can you imagine just so the Wizards is just an objectively dog shit name for a team. Can you imagine them winning an NBA championship and it's like congratulations to the Wizards? Yeah. It's never gonna happen. It'll storm the capital one center. That's good. Good job, Jake. Let's put the fire. Jake is on fire. Damn. One more thing. Wait, wait, you can't make a bad joke and be like, I knew that you'd like that one. Well, that plays. Yeah, that does play. I never make bad jokes. I just make good jokes you guys don't get. Yeah. That's half the half the area believes that. Right. Nuggets fans are about to they're about to learn that Christian Brown is not brawn and they're going to be like, what the

heck? Yeah, we should. We should throw out the bonk on our friend, Steven Che, who's very horny for Christian Brown's mother, which I feel like that's a relic of like Internet 1.0 when we just like, damn, this mom is really hot. I guess it still plays. I mean, you know, it is the NBA draft. You kind of lose interest after the first like five picks. So what else are you gonna do besides ogle it like family members of the draftees? It goes back to the days of like the blogs that would be written the day after the draft. Who really won the draft? Christian Brown's mom. Flat Joe. By the way, how about Palo's suit? Oh, it's nice. Yeah. Purple. All purple. A lot of nice suits today. A lot of nice haircuts today. Yes. Cool haircuts all around. Yes. I don't know

what else. What else we have in the draft. I mean, it was not going arena, not center. So the joke doesn't even play. Jake, you were you were feeling after the Duke joke. You went for it. You shot your shot. Yeah. I'm trying to look any other draft picks that we should talk about. Shaden Sharp. That's that's I'll tell you what, if you're a Blazers fan, Shaden Sharp, like I actually love taking a guy like that just to be like, he could be the greatest player of all time. He didn't play college basketball, but that like any, any guy who everyone's like, the ceiling is incredible. Why not? You at least get a year to think that he might be that guy. Yeah. Jalen Duran, he got traded like Woj and Choms kept going back to back saying he was going to like a

different team than he would go to a different team after that. And it all happened after right after they played the clip of him saying how much he loved friends. So I tend to believe that every GM saw that was like, fuck, get this guy out of here. This guy sucks. And then another GM would find out that, Oh man, I got a friend's lover on my team. Got to trade him like three times within the span of five minutes. It's got to be the highest a Benedict has ever been drafted. Oh, could we get a quick fact check? Also, was our own conscripted or was he was he volunteer? Oh, I don't know. I was a draft joke about Benedict Arnold. I was trying to one up Jake.

You did you did you because Jake's joke was incorrect. Yeah, we also were very we were the closest we're very close. I heard Racille mentioned this on his podcast, but that was a good one. We almost Oh, yeah, I love I love the 15 second Hank delayed joke understands. Those are the best. We spoke the streak. Chad Holmgren was very close to going one. He would have been the first white American since 1977. Drafted one overall in the NBA draft that Larry maybe next year guys know the guy named Kent Benson. Maybe next year. Old KB. Yeah, you're yeah. When I got a KB no swag. Who could forget? Yeah. Yeah. Old KB Kent Benson. So we were close. We did we will reach that makes us up. Yeah, we're we are when it comes to NBA draft one one one. We are a minority.

So maybe next year 1977 is crazy though. Wait, no, that French guy's going first overall next year. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So but it's a draft 2024. That's our year. You think so? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Call your shot. I'm gonna say it. Wait, let me look through the McDonald's all Americans right now and say an even 50 years. Give me 20 27. If you if you could actually bet on it, what do you think the over under amount of years would be? I think it's probably like over under 30 the next 31 and a half years. Yeah, a billion. I don't know. It's yeah. McDonald's all Americans. Give us a quick breakdown. Jake plug your plug lacrosse this weekend Saturday night. Right? Yeah, Saturday, six and eight 45 Eastern time ESPN plus if you're around would love for

you to tune in. Should be a lot of fun. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you don't turn in your fucking scumbag and I want you dead. Now Jake's going to show off his crotch in the live broadcast and you're all dead if you don't watch it. There we go. So yeah, should be exciting. I think we're having a martial martial sports book boost on the games as well. All right, I've got our guy. Is it going to be called the marsh? I think it's still the rabble. I mean, it's up to change probably. Okay, so the guy that's going to break the streak. I'm calling my shot right now. He's going to go to Kansas and his name is Grady Dick. I just sent it to the group chat. Look at the look at the official picture of this guy. There's no better shooter in this

class than McDonald's. All Americans think he's Dick. What year is the McDonald's all American this year? Yeah. Okay. I like that. Grady Dick. And then I'll give you, I'll give you a backup. Okay. Got real. We got, uh, from Maine. Oh, okay. Real. Let's not get carried away with the way class of 2025 Cooper flag with two G's is the third ranked overall high school player right now. Five star six, seven kid from Maine. There we go. We gave you good options there folks. Oh, Cruz. It's also funny because none of these high school players, um, have pictures and then I saw a Cooper. I was like, okay, that's our guy. Yeah. Uh, but the second round doesn't matter at all in the NBA draft, right? No, never. When was the last time there was a good second

player? Oh, it's flag with two G's. Yeah. Yeah. Flag with two G's. As I said, yeah. I mean, there's been some good players, but like it's, it's a very, very low percentage. No, there's definitely been some very good players in the second round. It's just, it's just, yeah, there's a shitload of players that just are, they don't even make the team because it's not guaranteed contracts in the second big case, big case. Orito. Chris Middleton was second rounder. Jimmy. Oh no, Jimmy was not. Yeah. Nicole. Yeah. The MVP is the second rounder. I forgot about the case of Rito. Yeah. Yeah. The case of Rito. I'm trying to think Jalen Brunson, who we talked about was the second rounder. Marcus. So can I just plug real quick for Hank

Taco Bell? I had the Crunchwrap breakfast thing the other day. Thank you. Holy shit. That is good. You've never had that before? No, first timer over here. And my God, my life has changed forever. Forever. It is. It's my one, one fast food breakfast item across the map. I actually, this is how dated it was. I had like one of my most popular vines was, was me vining a breakfast Crunchwrap when it first came out. Hell yes. And do numbers. Compared to my other vines. Yes. What do you guys think about Jabari Smith's fit in Houston? I don't think there's a very active roster they got going on over there. Solid fit. He's the A plus. I'd say he's an A plus on talent, A minus on fit.

Why? I had the other way around. I think he needs, he needs, he's more of a catch and shoot guy. If he can add the like shot creation into his repertoire, I really think that he's going to be A plus as a player and still an A plus as a fit. Yes. All right. Let's kick it to ourselves. We have an unbelievable show. Uh, rest of the show, Matthew Fitzpatrick in studio guys, uh, firefest. We have a Mount Rushmore that I think is one of our funniest ones ever. It's, uh, straight things that are sneaky, gay with Joey and Pat. And then we're also talking some Stanley Cup final. Now, word from our sponsor, better help. Life can be overwhelming and many people are burned out without even knowing it. Symptoms can include lack of motivation, irritability, fatigue, and more.

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PMT. That's B E T T E R H E L P dot com slash PMT. Make sure that you're taking care of your mentals with better help. You can talk to someone right away. And like I said, they offer online therapy with video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to betterhelp.com slash PMT 10% off your first month. Make sure that you are working on your mental health with better help. Okay, let's talk some other sports. Stanley Cup final. We had another overtime. We had we had a the cadre goal that was, you know, the most anticomactic goal because it was on the road. It reminded me right away of the Patrick Kane goal where it gets stuck up in the net. Only a couple people realized it went in

and the avalanche, the best words in all sports, the cup is in the building. Yeah, it's coming home. The cup is in the building. I'm, uh, I'm pretty excited for my avalanche bet. I'm feeling comfortable about because this does feel like a game seven now. Yeah, well, no, I yeah, I think it feels like a game two. No, this is because the avalanche can lose or like it doesn't really matter. They're going to win this game seven for the lightning. Yeah, and it's a game two for the avalanche guy. Yeah, last night I was I'm actually starting to get confused about the lightning because the thought entered my head. Are we sure the lightning are good? Or do they just have Vasilevsky who is the best goaltender in the league by a comfortable margin? Any other team, any other

goaltender, uh, that was playing last night with that Tampa Bay team, like the score would probably be like five to two at the end of regulation. It was insane. Some of the saves he was making. He was crazy standing on his head. Yeah. And you could feel like that. There's no worse feeling if you're a fan of a team in the NHL playoffs and you're in the overtime and you're just like, there's nothing we can do. They stayed that off for 10 minutes. It felt like the avalanche were just living in their zone. The lightning are good. I think we're also finding out like there's the tread on the tires, not only just from playing two seven game series, this playoffs, uh, and the avalanche kind of coasting through the West, but the, you know, the accumulation of two cup runs, the avalanche

just look like the far fresher team. They're faster, far, far fresher. Sometimes it's simple, even if you're not a real puckboy like me and big cat, sometimes you watch the games, you don't understand how they're cycling the puck and the different substitution patterns that they're using. Unlike us, we see that, but even people that are just casual hockey fans look at it and they're like, well, the avalanche are just much faster on ice skates than the Tampa Bay Lightning are. And you've seen the, the, so, uh, Murals, who's with the spit and chicklets crew, I was watching a period with those guys last night and he was saying that he talked to someone that basically the lightning's big adjustment has been, if you've noticed, they're, they're

basically flipping the puck out of the zone every time they're in the defensive zone. The forecheck was too strong. Well, instead of trying to gain possession and, and, and like, go forward, they're just basically saying, let's, let's play 50, 50 pucks in the middle of the ice instead of, you know, letting the avalanche gain up all this steam and come downhill constantly on us. It worked for one game and then last night, it obviously did. In games one and two, they just couldn't get the ball or the puck out of their end. Sorry, a lot of times we call it a ball. It's like next level stuff. Yep. Um, and the, the forecheck that the avalanche had was too strong. So they said, fuck it. Let's just clear the puck every single time. They're flipping it.

Yeah. We'll flip it down the, down the, right in the middle, down the field. Yep. And then we'll go retrieve the ball. Just a nice little coffin corner. Exactly. So, uh, along the board. So the walls, I think we call them the walls. The walls. Yeah. The wall, the, the sidelines. Yeah, the sidelines. Yes. Um, and then at the end of the game, there was that anticlimactic moment where I just wanted the horn. If the horn had sounded, then it would have been fine, but there was no horn and then everyone stuck, like stood by the net, like staring at the puck in the back of the net. And they were like, I don't know. Is this, is that a goal? The puck, the puck's back there. And I thought it was a goal. I, I felt like it went in and then by everyone else's reaction,

I was like, wait, it didn't go well. Everybody else on the ice, they just like swarmed the net. And there were some guys on the avalanche. I think cadre even went to the side of the net and started swatting at like an imaginary puck that was on the ice. And then I got very confused by that. But you saw a bunch of lightning fans. Even, I think the lightning coach after the game said, John Cooper, John Cooper said, it stinks. It stinks to Mr. Cooper said after the game, it stinks to lose like that on a blown call. Yeah. And kind of said, like they had too many men on the ice is what he was implying, which they did, but they did. But then if you go down that road, the lightning had seven guys on the ice to the avalanche six on the ice. They were

right along the boards. They were saying that, yeah, the, it was clear that they had a full six, not someone, you know, in the middle of a line change. I don't know. It's, I, I, I agree with you. Like if you, if you go, if you go, if you try to dissect every single second of a game, you know, it's, it's a tough call to make. And he wasn't part of the play. That's kind of what I like about how you know, like the first goal of the night, Kimper's helmet came off. And then the lightning scored after the guy's helmet came off. And then they like took a look at it. And some people were saying, oh, that shouldn't be a goal. And by the, by the letter of the law, if the helmet comes off, they're supposed to stop the play. It's over, but it was kind of like in

the same motion. Right. And so the refs were like, that's a good hockey goal. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I get that. I love that about hockey. Sometimes they're just like, we're going to ignore the rule book because my eyes told me that's fine. Yeah. Play on. Play on. Let the boys say this on the ice. Yeah. Wayne and Garth just playing in the street. Okay. So we have got game, cup in the building on Friday night. There's nothing better than the cup in the building. Like if you're not watching the cup in the building, come on. It's the cup. The thing about the cup is whenever some team wins it, if you root it against them, the ceremony afterwards, like how happy the guys get. It's the best. You're like, man, I love these guys. And the way they

do it, like where, you know, the captain will lift the cup and then he'll make sure that the second guy is usually the guy who's been there the longest or, you know, the grizzled vet. And it's like, the announcers will like explain the story of, oh, this is why this guy goes and this guy and it's great. There's nothing better. That's one sport where I would actually appreciate it if the owners raised the cup first. If they handed the giant ass Stanley cup to like an old frail owner and then that guy had to skate around the ice. Yeah. Holding the Stanley cup. The videos that we would get out of the falls would be all time. It would be incredible. Okay. Speaking of owners, Segway, how are you feeling about Dan Snyder and Roger Goodell going in front of, who

do you go in front of? Congress? Who do you go? Yes, Congress. Here's what Roger clowns in Congress that were trying to make names for themselves. I was hopeful. I was hopeful when I heard, when the news was announced that Roger Goodell was going to testify under oath, I was like, oh, that's going to be good. But like everything else in my life with Dan Snyder, I'm just resigned to the fact that he's going to be stuck on my ass like a dirty, hairy mole. Yes. Until I die and he's going to outlive me. And then my kids will probably be also outlived by Dan Snyder's children who will inherit the team. And we're going to go five and 11, excuse me, five and 12 for the next 150 years. No, five and five and 13. We're going 18 games. We're going 18 games. Nothing really new

came to light. There was, well, before the testimony, there was another report that came out of a settlement that Snyder made with a former employee. He's just, he's not going anywhere. I'm just, I've got, I've got my straw. I still am down to one straw and it's a pathetic, tiny, chewed up looking straw. It's one of the paper straws that's been inside of Margarita for like two hours. It's dissolving, but I'm not going to know it's nothing good is going to happen. And the thing that always shocks me because I know people were mad at Goodell because he was like, I can't, I can't oust Dan Snyder. People are like, you're the commissioner. The commissioner, Roger Dell was doing exactly what all the owners wanted him to do yesterday. And that was to sit

in front of Congress, take bullets and look like a buffoon because his job is to be the shield for them. And they are his boss, not the other way. I think sometimes people get confused and be like, Roger Goodell is the boss of the owner. No, no, no, the owners own him and he owns the players. Yeah. It's actually genius what the NFL has done by setting it up this way, because if you want to get the real answers of why Snyder is still an owner, you have to get 31 rich guys into a room at the same time and women and ask them about Virginia and Mark Davis. And you ask them, why is this guy not fired yet? And they're like, they are all like, well, we don't have all the right information. And the real answer is, well, one, he knows where all the bodies are buried.

And two, he's an idiot. And we like having an idiot sit at the poker table. Yeah, it's great. That's like, that's pretty much the honest truth about all of this. Like he is the mark. You think Jerry Jones wants, wants Jeffrey Bezos owning the fucking Washington Commander's hell no. Dude, Jerry Jones loves Dan Snyder. Yes. And he immediately cozyed up to Dan Snyder because he's very manipulatable. Is that a word? Yep.

Manipulatable. Facts. Hank, did I pronounce that right? Fact check. Yes. Okay, thank you. And yeah, he likes having that mark there in the division. It used to be their biggest rival. Why wouldn't you?

By having Dan Snyder around, now he doesn't think about the Washington Commanders anymore. Yes. So Snyder is never going to sell the team. I'm going to die unhappy with my football legacy. And that's kind of where we stand at, part of my take. Yeah. All right. Other news. Let's stick with football. Texas is back. He also lied about not knowing Dave. Yeah, you could get that would be an incredible story if you went to jail for that.

He should. He perjured himself. Yeah, which Roger Goodell going to jail because he lied about not knowing Dave Portnoy would be an all-timer. You know, it'd be funny. Roger Goodell should have been like, yeah, you know, after looking through the last several months of what's been happening with the commanders, I've decided to fire, to suspend, to remove Tonya Snyder as owner of the Washington Commanders and we're bringing back Dan Snyder.

That's real change. Yeah. I don't even think I saw this guy brought up, but Dave won the charity auction, which he then, you know, shut down. Correct. Yeah, correct. He's basically acknowledging that he never knew. Correct.

He was offering a seat for charity. Yeah, lock him up. Lock him up. Lock him up. Yeah. So the other football news is Texas is back. Arch Manning has made his decision. I love, I just love college football fan bases so much because obviously Texas fans are very excited.

I also just took like a quick look around the internet and there's a lot of people coping being like, he's not going to play for them. Like, you think that, you think that's actually his final decision? I don't know. Yeah, I, yes, I do. Well, Arch. I do think it is. Arch Manning is going to get on campus and be like, whoa, Quinn Ewers.

I didn't know he was going to be here. You never told me about that. Okay, I guess I will go to Ole Miss. And then there was a lot of people who were like, yeah, Arch Manning's a bust. He just has a good last name. Okay. I'm kind of in that train, but just because, just for the takes. Yeah.

You got a zig when everybody yells zags and he hasn't shown me that much of an arm. He's like running over little kids in his high school games. But it's a good move, I think, for Arch Manning. Yeah. I think if you look at the choices that he had, Georgia would have been a good choice too. But he had no bad choices, let's be honest. This is like, Austin is a fucking awesome city. Yeah.

It's a great place for a college kid to be. And he gets to play in the SEC. Play in the SEC, build up his own name in a massive college football town that has nothing to do with either his dad or his two uncles. Yeah, I like it. I, yeah, because if he goes to Tennessee, if he goes to Ole Miss, if he goes like, you know, there's a lot of expectations and everything feels a little bit more heightened. Now he gets to go to Austin and they might not be in the SEC by the time.

Like, I think it's, I think it's 2025 or 26. But I, I assume Texas and Oklahoma would be in the SEC before the big 12 deal is up. Either way, I would imagine he's going to play at least us season in the SEC. And that had to have played into it that Texas is now part of the SEC when he made his decision. He's probably not going to start his freshman year because they do have, they've got a stacked quarterback room ahead of him. So he's probably starting, he's fucking stud. Quinn Ewers, I think, is going to be starting when, when Arch Manning is a freshman there.

They're probably going to red shirt him. But I'm already looking forward to 2025, Texas at Ohio State. Yes. Arch Manning will be the quarterback. I'm pretty excited about that game. Yes, hell yes. That's what he's fucking. Put on the calendar.

Put on the big calendar. Yeah, put on that one. It's going to be sick. But yeah, I think it's a good move for Arch Manning. Yeah. Yeah, he, again, he had no bad options. Did you see the picture of the entire Manning family out to dinner the other night that Eli tweeted out? Did you see Peyton's eyes? He had my eyes.

I think Eli photoshopped. I think if you zoom in on his eyes, he used the pen tool to make his eyes black. Yeah. On him. It's pretty sick. But the Manning family. It just looked like a country club. They're all wearing the exact same shirt with the same logo. Same shorts.

Same khakis. They're like if the Bush family was just a dynasty and selling like really expensive life insurance. Yeah. Vineyard vines. Yeah. They started vineyard vines. Yeah. That's, that's exactly what that is. And then last, which is not surprising whatsoever, Kyrie Irving wants to get out of Brooklyn.

Who could have seen this one coming? Mm-hmm. Wow. Back to Boston. Yeah. Funniest places for him to go? Boston one, Lakers two. Lakers one.

Yeah. Cleveland three. Lakers would be very funny. Lakers one, Boston two, Cleveland three. I think next would be good too. Just because he'd be here. Also would be funny if he went to like Sacramento. That would be, that would be the smartest thing for him to do.

Yeah. Charlotte. Yeah. Charlotte. He would look good in Charlotte. He would. I mean, anybody looks good in those colors, I think. Yeah.

And then now KD two. It feels like that could be up in the air because the report was that he's closely monitoring the situation. I think KD will be on the nets this year. And then next year is when he'll be like, I'm out. That means KD is just like refreshing Twitter at a faster pace than usual. Yes. He's closely, he's paying attention to every move.

He should just go back to the Warriors. He should come on and talk about it. He should come on and talk about it. We just continue to get out foot. But you know what, at this point, KD, do you think KD is afraid to come on the podcast because of the fact that we're the number one sports podcast? No. He's got a little bit of a reputation of joining the best.

He doesn't. That's what I would say. We have to win something before he gets on. Yeah, right. We haven't won anything yet. It feels like that might be why he's avoiding us. I think that it's new media. Big Cat, you just don't understand new media.

It's like me and Big Cat are new media. Hank's old media. Like all these executives don't understand what the kids are doing these days. Traymond actually told Scott Van Pelt, I'm new media. You're old media. I actually fail to see where the line is drawn there. Yeah, new media. I think new media is just players having podcasts.

But I don't know. Which is awesome. Yeah, it's great that sometimes there's some players that have podcasts that don't say anything because they don't want to. I'm happy that they're able to have a podcast so that they can walk a mile in our shoes to see how hard it is. Correct. Like step into the arena, KD.

Yeah. KD is like, he's kind of the Skip Bayless for bloggers and podcasters where he sits there just takes cheap shots at us all day long. Yeah. Thinks he's better than everyone. Step into the arena and improve yourself. Please. We'd love to have you.

Jake has already turned down Kyrie Irving to the net or to the heat. Oh, that's not heat culture. It's not the culture. No, come on. I'd be shocked. I'd be shocked. Yeah, no, that's not heat culture. Okay, let's get to our interview.

We have Matt Fitzpatrick who just won the US Open and broke our hearts. Very funny interview in studio. And after him, we have one of my favorite Mount Rushmores that we've ever done with Joey and Pat, the Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low-key gay. And we will finish up with FireFest after all of that. PFT, you had a quick ad. Yeah, I want to talk to you about eBay. You guys ever heard of eBay?

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Incredible. Do you want to do the hard questions or the easy questions first? Let's do the hard ones. Okay, so you ruined my son's third birthday on Sunday. And I was thinking about it. So we had a lot of money on will. And you completely ruined it for us. Yeah, so like tears, everything.

It was he'll forever remember how horrible his birthday was because of you. I was thinking about it. Maybe just give us the trophy. If you give us a trophy, I think we could say I'll get you a replica. Okay, your replica. Okay, that'll make up for it. That's my gift to him for his birthday. It was it was a thrilling tournament.

Obviously incredible. Like the shots you made. Have you replayed the 15th hole in your head yet where it's like you obviously had a tee shot that wasn't the best, but you get a great lie. And it's like, you know, you played great, but you also had those moments that, you know, the ball went your way. Yeah, yeah. It's funny.

I mentioned it a few times that this year I feel like I've had a couple chances to win and do well and just just not had the look. And I think kind of that said it all. I actually said to my caddy when we got up there, I was like, this makes a nice change. So yeah, it definitely, you know, definitely got lucky and managed to take advantage of it. Yeah. So your caddy, it was a big story. It was his first major championship win.

You guys obviously have a good relationship. I saw some of the clips behind the scenes of him telling you to like speed up when you're out there playing. You guys obviously get along really, really well together. That's great. I'm curious to know what the what the process is like for selecting a new caddy. Is it word of mouth? Is it somebody just like suggests him to you or you guys like have a couple of pints in the

bar and you hit it off and then you, you know, you're drunkenly playing like, yeah, I need you on my back. Yeah, I got you. There's a few different ways. I mean, what the way that me and Billy ended up working together, he'd split with his last player. I'd split with my last caddy just kind of coincided. We could work together basically. But there's loads of different ways.

You know, you go out with guys and think, oh, well, you know, he's a really good caddy and some players end up poaching that caddy and or it's kind of, you know, you set up by other caddies who your friends work for. And so, yeah, it's a range of different ways. But for me and Billy, it was just the timing was just really convenient. Yeah, it was an incredible moment because I, you know, obviously you win it and you have emotion, but he had double the emotion. Yeah.

And I mean, were you just so happy? I would assume, obviously you're happy for yourself because it's an incredible career achievement. But was there a part of you that's like, thank God that he's finally won one? Yeah. I mean, I think that's what you're definitely saying. Yeah, he, it was just, I think it was just, it's been like his thing for so long. And he never really talks about, he doesn't really talk about it often.

He had a moment a few years ago, well, quite a few years ago now, where it's kind of in his players' hands and it didn't go the right way. And Billy said, I saw in an interview, he's given sins. He said that he ended up crying basically all the way home. It was like a drive home and he was just in tears on the way home. He was just devastated. So for me to be the person that wins it and he's on the bag is, yeah, it's pretty awesome. Now, the other shot that we have to talk about, that shot from the bunker in 18th.

So when you hit the tee shot, are you like, oh man, I fucked this up. Yeah. Where is that going through your head? Like, God damn it. Yes, I just said to the four-play boys that all week me and Billy had a bit of a disagreement on the 18th tee shot. I was deaf, I wanted to hit driver and he thought three would, but we, you know, he went with my opinion and that was fine.

And for the first three days, I played it in two of a part, which is pretty shitty. Right. Get to 18 Sunday and I've got a one-shot lead and he's like, I think it's three would. I'm like, okay, I'll go with it. You know, and I changed my mind. Wow. But I was 100% committed to the shot. Like, I bought into it and it was the right club and I just didn't hit a good shot.

And I was just like praying for a good lie when I was getting on the way home. So wait, so you're saying like, if that goes against you, right, and you don't hit that unbelievable shot from the bunker, Billy Foster is, he's, he's crying again in his car because it's the three would. Why possibly? Yeah, like that's incredible. So then when you get to the bunker, I mean, that was an insane, insane shot. Did you like, when you hit it, were you like, I got that?

That was, that was exactly what I wanted. As soon as I hit it, I was like, literally, I, that was unbelievable. I was like, thank God, like that was unbelievable. Like it came out perfectly and everything about it was perfect. It was always moving towards the flag and it always, always had enough. I knew it was always had enough distance and but before I was, I wasn't actually like shitting myself before I hit it, but like it's not a shot that I particularly enjoy. It's not a shot that I've hit well this year.

I've not got a good track record with it. And to have it when I needed something the most wasn't really appealing. So to hit the shot that I did, yeah, it meant the world. And now did you, did you think that Will was going to miss the pot? Because I, I mean, I, I'm a terrible gambler. So I was like, it's over. And then it was just more painful than I even imagined with how close it was. But to be honest, like in your heart of heart, were you like, I think I got this?

I'm a numbers guy and on the screen, it said there's a 25% chance. Okay. And I would give him 50% chance on that day because I thought he put, I thought he put it well that day. Not by my analytics, but we don't have to get into that. Yeah. But, but so I genuinely thought 50-50. I would say thought 50-50 because I just like, I thought he'd put it well all day.

I thought, you know, he'd hit a great shot in there. He saw my ball and I gave him a good line. And I was shocked that it didn't turn more. I thought my pot I hit was a really good put because I had that put back in 2013 when I played the US amateur there. And I seem to remember it moving a lot and after it didn't move as much as I thought. So yeah, when it, when it stayed high, I was pretty happy. Yeah.

So walk me through what happens because you want to be polite. Golf is a sport of manners, right? So he's putting to send it to a playoff, to a two-hole playoff. You're watching him hit this put. You want him to miss. You want to win the US Open. But at the same time, you have to think to yourself like, I can't, I can't celebrate like too much if it looks like it's not going in, right?

So what was going through your head? How did you, did you even think about like suppressing how happy you needed to be when you missed that putt? Yeah. Billy said to me, you know, be, be prepared for three extra holes. And I kind of. Wasn't it two? Oh, yeah, two.

So yeah, yeah, yeah. It was incredible. He was really mad, too. We were like, like, you, you finished the two holes. You're like, all right, let's go. Yeah, let's go. We're done. It's over.

It's over. Come on, Billy. He coached you up. He was like, just, just mentally. He would just like be ready. Yeah. Just be ready, you know, to, to play. And, and, and the part, part of me again,

I'll be on it like 20% of me was like, yeah, you know, you're, you're absolutely right. But 80% of me is like, I think that's it. Yeah. And, and it's a weird feeling because obviously you're watching, it's in someone else's hands now all of a sudden to, to make or break it. And the putt missed.

And of course I didn't want to start running around fist pumping everywhere. I kind of turned to Billy and, and say, you know, I would go, you probably see me on the broadcast. I was like, going, Billy, Billy. And he was already like blubbering or whatever. And Billy tells a lot of great stories about his old boss, Seve Ballesteros, one of the golfing legends.

And he always, Billy always, always says, what Seve used to say was, you, you son of my beat, son of my bitch. Yeah. And I went over to him and I went to Billy, Billy. And he's like, still great. And I'm like, we did it. You son of my bitch.

That's great. So it was, yeah. When I gave him a hug and then went, made sure I shut, shut Will's hand and his caddy's hand. And, and then after that, that was, it was like, all hell broke loose. It's incredible. Yeah.

What a moment for you. Like that's your, your whole life, I would imagine has been leading up to a moment like that. Yeah. I can only imagine like the, the outpouring of emotion that you have. Yeah. It feels 10 million times better than I ever thought it would.

And so after I shut Will's hand, I went to find my family. My brother walked past me to go and shake Will's hand. My dad walked past me to go and shake Will's hand. Oh, I would hate that if I was Will. I would be so mad if I was Will. And Jake would definitely do that. We've got to get on the podcast soon.

And then I saw my mom first and, and she wasn't crying, which I was kind of, well, it's kind of, it was. She's like, I'm finally proud of you. And then, and then I come back and my brother's like, balling and that kind of set me off. And then like gave my dad a hug and that set me off a bit more. And that, that was kind of when I was like, we, we did it. Yeah.

So you're also in the history books because you were, we heard it all day, all day on Sunday, that obviously you'd won the amateur in 2013 at the same place. The only other person to do the same course, amateur and US Open is you and Jack Neclos. And it's, it's crazy how much of like your familiarity with the course played into you being able to win this tournament. Massive.

Yeah. I just feel like, cause I had success there before. I just felt, I did feel like really confident throughout the whole week. I just felt I was so comfortable where I needed to go, what, what shots to hit. And I think that, yeah, I honestly think that helped massively. Cause it's one of those things as viewers, they beat that storyline into the ground.

A million times. Oh, by Friday. Yeah. So we're like, did you guess that I won the US Open? Probably never mentioned it. Yeah. So we're thinking like, did this actually help?

But to hear you say it like it absolutely helps. No, genuinely did. I think cause you know, knowing that I was saying to someone else that hitting shots round other golf courses we play where I've maybe not, I might have played well, but never won round. And there's still shots where you sort of have a bit, you're a bit intimidated by it. It's like, I don't feel comfortable with this, but

there wasn't one, there wasn't one shot out there that I felt intimidated by other than the 11th hole. And that is the only hole we didn't play in the US Amateur. Oh, part of three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You were intimidated by it, even though it's like the shortest hole in the golf course. I hit Love Wedge, Sand Wedge, Sand Wedge, Love Wedge, Sand Wedge, Gap Wedge, Sand Wedge. So you had no idea what you were going to commit. And I played it in three over par. Oh wow. So yeah, I was sucked on that hole. Yeah. I gotta admit, like when you hit that drive at 18 though,

I celebrated. I was so happy you were in that bunker. I was like, I fucking did it. And I finally hit a golf future. Lily Z is going to bring it home. I gave my son his birthday present at that moment and then I took it away. I think I said all-time choke job. I think I said that out loud.

Nice. Nice. And then you came and hit, would you say that's an iconic shot out of the bunker? I've been told that, yeah. Yeah, it's iconic. They should name the bunker after you. Yeah, there's going to be a nice plaque now. Did you thank the patrons for trampling down the grass there on the 15th?

No. I actually had someone just place it onto a nice big grass. I actually feel bad because I'm always shout for, always shout for. I didn't realize how far right it had gone. No one said it hit them. So I got away with it. We were bitter. And it was because it is one of those things.

Like I think if you talk to any champion of the US Open or any major champion, like you have to be great. But you also have to get a couple lucky bounces. Yeah, you do. That's part of the game. Yeah, and you got one. So it's pretty much illegal and you should give us this trophy. Or give it to Willy Z.

So here's another hard question for you. The story goes, according to my good friend Paul Bissonette, he's a hockey guy, but he gave me some golf background to ask you about. The story goes that you added 30 yards to your drive recently. Pretty much, yeah. So did you pass the piss test? Yeah, I did one Wells Fargo, which was middle of May. So pass.

I'm good to go. So that was one cycle ago. I'm just eyeballing you down, right? You look like you're a steroid user. You got veins. A hundred percent. How'd you do it though? How did you add that distance?

Just it's like a golf club with special weights called the stack. It's got different weights on it. You can change them. You follow an app program. It's like going to the gym, but for swinging it faster. I've done it for quite like a year and a half now. Yeah, it's made a massive difference. Oh, wow.

It's like a batting donut for baseball. Is that what it is? Yeah. On deck circle, they put a big weight on it so that the bat feels lighter when you're in the box. Yeah. Here's another tough question. On a par four, if there's no water and you're just hitting putter the entire time, how many shots if it's a 420 yard par four?

Do I get to tee it up on the first shot? Yeah. Well, I go putter off the deck, but that's me. I'm built different. Well, you can do whatever you want. I'm going to tee it up. I'm going to take advantage of that. I'm probably making a eight.

Eight. Okay. That's what I said I could do too. Yeah. So you and I. Your professional golfer just won US Open. Yeah. He could do an eight as well.

I think I could do an eight. Yeah. We'll tie. Yeah. And then we go to playoff. Yeah. And then we get to use real clubs. Yeah.

I'm going to do steroids beforehand. So I'll probably out drive you. Can I count this? So I'm a big 10 guy. Can I count this for a big 10 championship? Absolutely. Even though you did one quarter? Three months.

Yeah. That counts though, right? Three months enough. Okay. One day's enough. All right. So that's a big 10 championship. Yeah.

Done. Yeah. Okay. I like that because that's a little solace in the fact that I lost all that money on Willy Z. Yeah. You really hurt us. You really hurt us.

Deeply. I think I might have said on Sundays. I'd say sorry, but I'm not sorry. Yeah. I think I said on Sunday show that someone from England shouldn't be able to win the US Open. I was lashing out. That's serious.

I understand that. Yeah. I understand that. I get it. Would you trade this in for a clear jug? Oh, good question, PFT. Oh, wow. That's a great question.

Thank you. No, I wouldn't. Oh, because we have a clear jug back here. We're going to see if we're going to trade in. It means more because you took it back from the US. It's like revenge for 1776. Yeah, exactly. That's what it is.

It's coming home. Yes, precisely. Yeah. That's probably the only thing that might come home. Yeah. Well, how would you rank them though? Like, is the Masters? I always have a tough time really because I've always felt

the US Open was the one that I had the most chance over because it was always the toughest. It was always thick-roof, tight golf courses, and that kind of suits my game more. But going back to Augusta every year, playing the Masters every year, there's just something special about it. So I always tended to rank that number one.

Yeah. Then I would probably have to go US Open purely on this, on that my game I felt always fit there. Yeah. And then Claret took, yeah. OK. And then PJ. There was a putt that you hit.

I want to say it was on 16. It was the one that was going downhill, the fastest putt of all time. Oh, on 17. On 17. Yes, yes. It was the fastest putt of all time too. It might have been because you touched it,

you barely even tapped it. How do you even putt that? It looked to me like the thought process on your end was just touch the ball as lightly as possible. Exactly. It was. It was because throughout the day, I'd already hit so many puts like five foot past

and I missed the comeback and my caddie was already freaking out at that time. What are you doing? And on that one in particular, given the situation, I was like, just get it down there. Just literally just touch it. And yeah, I was happy to see it go to two inches and just tap it in and go to the 18.

So that's what I love about the US Open sometimes. We root for the course at the US Open. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that. I love that. OK, yeah. I love that. I love playing golf courses that are just insanely hard and it's just a grind.

Was there ever any moment though you were playing and you're like, oh, come on, give me a chance. Why are you doing this to me? There was two. And I don't know if I can't remember if it was Sunday. No, it was Saturday. There was two pin positions, one on 13 and one on number nine. And they were on slopes.

And I was like, that's it. I love the USGA. 2018, Shinnecock was unbelievable when everyone was complaining about golf course. Yeah. And I loved it there. I thought the golf course was so good and the setup was great.

But those ones on Saturday were a little bit suspect. They were like kind of slanted and ankle. Yeah, yeah. I read a headline that I was going to, you kind of duped me because there was a headline that basically said you called your ex-girlfriend before the US Open and got perspective. No, that's not true.

Oh, it isn't. Not before the US Open. Oh, when was it? No, no, no. It literally says that, yeah. This was March, yeah. OK, all right. Because I was going to say you're a psycho

for calling your ex-girlfriend. But then the actual story is that your ex-girlfriend has family in Ukraine and gave you perspective. So you kind of stole that joke from us. That was, yeah, that was, yeah, that was in March. That was, yeah. I wanted to be like desperate much.

And then I kept reading the story and it was like, yeah, some great perspective. Well, that shows you. I was like, god damn it, man. He beat us every which way. Can't get one over on you. Sucks. Man.

So what's like, is this a launching off point? What's your next tournament? Are you playing next weekend? I'm playing the Scottish Open in two weeks. OK. Yeah, so I've got two weeks off. I'll go back to the UK on Sunday. And yeah, just take it all in for the next few days

and figure out what's next. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm happy you're celebrating for a while because I feel like there's a lot of times where guys win something and they're like back. And they're like back on the road, yeah. Yeah, it's a huge moment.

I mean, I've got like, I'll enjoy this week and then I'll get back to try and practice the following week. But then I'll play two tournaments and then I actually do actually go on holiday. So I can properly celebrate then. That'll be great. How drunk did you get the night of? I had one super champagne.

What? Yeah. I would do media till I didn't, basically, my last bit of food was probably on like the 15th hole. What'd you eat? Banana bread. OK. And homemade?

Yes. Whoa, who made it? Your mom? No, no. No. No, we had a chef for the week. OK, all right, all right, all right. So that was last time I ate.

And then like, I don't know what time it was, but like six hours later, I've still not eaten anything. And I know for well, like I am the biggest light weight of all time and I don't really drink anyway. So I knew if I'd have had a drink, I'd have just been dead. Yeah. So yeah, I'm saving it for when I go on holiday. OK, I had one last question before you.

It's a row back question. Use promo code, take you get 20% off row back. Great golf gear, Q zips, hoodies, everything. Take 20% off with promo code, take, R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. So we asked our good friend Max Holm of this when he won the Fortnite Open. And we asked him, like, when the cash actually hits your account.

So you won 3.15 million. Has it hit your account yet? I don't know. Check it. You check right now. Also, how many more zeros do you think you'd have in that if it was a live US Open that you won? Just something to think about.

Not sure. Don't care. Is this guy from USGA? Yeah. He just gave me a look like you motherfuckers. Shut up. Yeah, you got to check your account. Max, I think, it hadn't hit, and then he texted us

when it did hit. I think some time. Well, PJ Tour, I think, is normally played on, like, a Tuesday. And it is a Tuesday, so. Yeah. You got to keep refreshing that. It's not hit.

Oh, get out of here. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Have fun being poor. I would just be refreshing that forever. Just, like, hitting the refresh, hitting the refresh. Do you have anything that you want to buy once it hits? No. Not, not, not, no, not if that's OK.

See, I don't like you because you're too likable. Yeah. You're too nice. No, I don't like you either. I do not like you. You're too nice. You're a nice guy. I ruined your kid's birthday.

Yeah, you did. No. I get it. It's fine. I'm serious. So whatever you want to, you know, give to me off that money when it hits. It was Father's Day.

Yeah, it was Father's Day as well. Father's Even worse. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. It was, listen, I told the story on the show on Sunday, but I had to give, like, a speech. Like, I had family over for my son's birthday.

I had to give a speech to everyone right around, like, the 14th hole where I was like, listen, everyone lock in, like, it's Will's Alatorns. Yeah, yeah. The good news is though, my dad had a good father's day. Yeah, he did. I'm gonna walk before him. The problem is my dad just likes sports,

so he was like, he, you hit a shot. I can't remember when. He was like, wow, what a shot. And I was like, shot. No. Shut the fuck up. Like, we're Will's Alatorns guys today. Like, you want to be in a good retirement or a bad one?

Figure it out. But yeah, this has been great. We appreciate it. You've taken a little sting off of it. We appreciate that. OK, that's good. It's, we actually, I know joke. So when we're booking Peggy, who books a lot of our guests,

great. She's a great part of the team. She texted us on Sunday and was like, do you guys want Matt Fitzpatrick? And I think I said, hell no. And then after like an hour, we're like, all right, we'll actually, yeah, we should do this. Yeah, I said, I think I'll pull the tech stuff.

I think I said, I was so mad. I was so mad. I was fine. I was fine. Let's see, I think Big Cat said, hell no. And then I said, well, he did just win the US Open. So maybe. I'm going to say yes reluctantly.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to drag us to it. But no, this has been a fantastic interview. So we appreciate it and congratulations. Thank you. Thanks. Congrats. Are you with Fitsie?

Did they call you Fitsie? Yeah, Fitsie, yeah, OK. I've got a few nicknames here. OK. Fits Magic. Fits Magic, I'll take that, yeah. OK, no, you can have it. We lost our Fits Magic.

Oh, OK. We did, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you grow a beard? No. Oh, maybe not Fits Magic. No chance. No chance.

No, no chance. Thanks, Matt. Appreciate it, man. Thanks. Matt Fitzpatrick was brought to you by Skrill. Skrill is the digital wallet for gamblers because it was built specifically for gamblers. Sophisticated gamblers use it to manage their bankroll,

whether they're playing games like poker or betting on their favorite sports. They manage their bankroll using the wallet, which allows them to pay instantly and securely. It's payments without limits, basically. You can access your bankroll with instant deposits and withdrawals and also draw the cash using your prepaid card. Let's just say Skrill is the best digital wallet

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And now, here's Mount Rushmore. OK, Mount Rushmore time. We have our good friends, colleagues, Joey and Pat, out and about podcast. Go subscribe right now. Tremendously hilarious guys. They've been doing like an incredible whirlwind. They were on Andy Cohen.

They got, we got the Pride Parade on Sunday, which I think, as long as I don't have to walk, I'm in. So if I can be a. We can get you a wheelchair. We can get you a jazzy here. Just say the word. I want to be in the truck. You can be in the truck.

Yeah, so. Get him a scooter. I'm in though. Bring it back to the scooter business. I'm in for the Pride Parade. I also, before we get into this, I wanted to, we're doing this thing where we're just going to see how many times after the NBA Finals,

we can bring up the NBA Finals to make Hank mad. I love the NBA Finals. So Pat is a huge Celtics fan. What do you think about the Celtics going forward? I mean, we gave going forward. I mean, we would have to get through Brooklyn again if Kyrie stays there. We'd have to get through Milwaukee again.

With Chris Nelson. Those are the two. So are you high or low on this young court? I'm high on them. I'm high on them. I mean, we gave them the series, right? Experience beats youth in that situation, but we've now gained experience.

So maybe next year we go back and we win. And Joey, what are your thoughts on the Celtics? Well, I have a quite different opinion. Oh, the Celtics? Yeah. Oh, the Celtics are the balls. You made that up. I made that up.

You trademarked that. I like the green team. I didn't think anybody was doing hot. I didn't like anyone. You like Jason Tatum. I like Jason Tatum. That was the only reason I watched that one. And Pritchard, that little, he's the bottom.

The white guy. I like Luca Donik. I like Luca Donik. Luca Donik, yeah. I don't care what he means. I like that team, whatever he's on. Yeah. He's actually very good looking.

That's what I like. Have you seen the new pop gun? Yeah, you don't think so? No. No, but I just sang that song. Welcome to the danger zone. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the dog fight football, how that stacks up to the dog fight volleyball.

You know, I've been very into dog fight football for many years. Yeah. Play offense and defense. Well, he's been a vocal supporter for many years. Yeah. Wait, you don't think Luca's attractive? No.

The hair? The tattoos? That gross Eastern European face. That tattoos? Looks good. You know, he's an OK looking guy. There's just much better options. In the whole NBA, there's much better options.

I like Brooklyn Nets, you know why? Because I've been going, I've been frequenting the joint and they have a great set of the food there is really good. Carbone, right? Carbone's downstairs. Love that. And the crown club there. He's the cigarette in the bathroom at the crown club there.

That's awesome. Yeah. And I tipped the waitress. Like, I was like, like Rockefeller. The food's great there. There's great seats there. There's the store, the little boutique they have, has all different costumes for the outfits to buy.

Yep. Love that store. I love so that's, the Nets are my team. OK. Because I like going to the place. Yeah. It's a CNBC in place. Yeah.

OK. So last question before we do our Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of straight things that are low-key gay, which I think I'm very excited for. I think it's going to be very funny. Pride month overall. What are you guys, what's your guys' stance on everyone changing their, like all the brands, changing their logos?

I saw the Yankees did it today and everyone got very upset. Well, I think, sorry, Trish. Well, I was just going to say it's interesting because I didn't notice a part of my take logo had been changed. Which is actually good, which is actually good because that means you're not pandering. No, we do.

So you're actually more, you're more of an ally. If you look at our logo year round, I'm giving Big Cat a big old hug. True. How did you end up with that shade of gray? I don't know. Yeah, there's a few different shades that I have. He gets swarthy in the summertime.

Yeah. And look, the other one, the other logo, you don't really know where PFT's hand is and I'm holding a hot dog. I'm actually, it could be low. Yeah. I'm fisting him. Oh, right.

And I have a hot dog. So about what you're saying, to piggyback on what you just said, Uncle Dan, I think that it's, I think obviously they're doing it to make sure that everyone knows that they're inclusive. But the fact that they're forced, I think companies are forced to do it now because if you don't do it, people will riot

outside your place and say that you're anti-trans, anti-gay, or anti-this. So I think society forces it on people because if you don't put it up, that means that you hate everyone. You can celebrate it. We just don't want to see it. I think it's fucked.

I think no one should have it up. I think it should be a thing that's known that don't be a fucking dickhead to people that don't like you. It feels like we are on the path to that, though, where it's like, you know, even when you think 10 years ago, we're getting to a point where it's like, pride month doesn't have to be the big show

because it's accepted everywhere. No one should have to have a big video coming out saying I have this. I don't care who the fuck you're fucking. Just be a good person. Yeah, by the way, I'm looking at that flag right now. Come on, guys. I know, I just looked at it too.

Damn. We had that since year one, I think. Yeah. Goddamn. But yeah, once companies like Raytheon and Lockheed Martin, like companies that build bombs, they're like, we're going to make all our bombs in the rainbow flag this year for inclusivity.

I think it's nice that everyone feels that the kids are feeling included, seeing how much people are going around it. I think the youth, I think that's what everyone's doing. The pride parades for the youth, all this gay shit's for the youth because now we're too old and fucking bitter. I don't care what the fuck's going on.

Yeah, that's true. Just don't get my way when I'm trying to shop. I've noticed in the last like three years, four years, five years, whatever it is, that gay people in sports, it's kind of normal now, which is good. It used to be like a huge deal when a former NBA player came out of the closet.

It's like, whoa, holy shit. Can you believe this? Now it's like, yeah, we probably understand that somewhere between five and 20% of people in major sports leagues are probably just like the rest of us. And I feel like teammates now have no problems if a gay person comes out of the closet as a teammate. They're like, great, good, awesome.

I just stood in Carl Nasdaq's DMs yesterday. Oh, really? And we just had. He read it. He left me on red. Oh, that's tough. He left me on red, too. He curved you?

Every fucking gay in the world. When he came out, every queen came out the woodwork, following him, typing in a note. And his boyfriend looks exactly like you thought his boyfriend was going to look. But we just had Gus Kenworthy on our show, and we played a game of Pin the Tail on the homo. So he got to ask three people, a set of questions,

try and figure out who here at Barstil was gay. Ultimately, it was Tommy Smokes. Tommy Smokes, it was Tommy Smokes. It was very fun, very fun game. I like that. That is a fun game. I was upset that I missed when you guys did the stool scenes, which was also very funny.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. That was fun. Like I said, tremendously funny. Tommy Smokes would be a great drag name for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's just a good name. But then he's Smokes. Cigarettes, like Virginia Slims. Or maybe Acrella Deville. In The Holder. Oh. Yeah. The One Funnies.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. So let's do it. So you guys are our guests. So we will let you decide the draft order. So it's Joey and Pat. It's PFT and I.

And then it's Hank, Bubba, and Jake over there. So it's three teams. So I tried to explain what a snake draft is to Joey. I thought it was a sex move. And I don't think I was very successful at it. So Joey, if we pick number one, then we have the last pick. Yeah. You pick one and six.

So it would go five, six. Yeah. One, six, seven you would have. And we go one, two, three, four. I don't think anyone's taking this. So I think we should go two. OK. And who would you like to go one?

Them. Yeah. OK. So we'll go nice around the room. I don't think they're going to be as creative. Hank, Jake, and Liam are going to go one. You guys are going to go two. PFT and I will go three and four.

Wrap around. And then you guys go. These are good ones first? Yes. We're hoping that we can buy it. Which is mine. It's the second one down. This is a gamble.

This is a gamble. There's strategy involved in this. If you guys get the one that we have that we're going with second, I will be shocked. OK. Go ahead. I would agree. I feel like this is a pretty, pretty.

Here come the excuses. I love cocks. OK. So I should be doing this. Yeah. What did you think about Hank's tweet? Oh boy. He said, fucking a man.

He was such an ally this month that he actually had sex with a man and tweeted about it. Thank you. Live tweet. Yeah. Live tweet. It was beautiful. It would be like a live camp perhaps next time.

The one one that we're going with, we got to figure out a team name, Hubba Marsh, is bodybuilding. Oh. Not like weightlifting, but like the actual spray tan. All you're doing is just focusing on getting your muscles as tight as you can. And wearing the tight thong bikinis.

Flexing in the mirror, all that stuff. Yeah. Those guys, they get too big. Like it's weird. Like what's wrong with going to the gym and, you know, getting your, getting your fitness on. But like when you're really just like flexing, spray tan, the whole thing.

You're analyzing different body parts. You're like, man, my legs look great. Yeah. Do this one. Yeah. Yeah. And you're, when you're, when you're looking at your competition, like you're just checking them out.

Yeah. Like, oh man, that guy's got great chest, great abs, great arms. Thank you. I wish I had his traps. Yeah. OK. Well, we're going to turn it up a notch here.

OK. Go with number two. Why don't you read that out? Two words, gentlemen. Double penetration. Oh, yeah. Rubbing. Two dicks, one twat.

OK. Uh-huh. That is. Rubbing your dicks together. That's straight. Oh, we dp'd this girl, bro. But both your dicks are together. That's the gayest thing you can do.

I have a picture I pulled up and like, would you mind showing them? You did turn it up to 11. Well, I wanted to make sure I had the right that you weren't confused about what the actual thing we were talking about. Air tight. Yeah.

Air tight. Air tight. We were saying on last show, it is weird, though, how there's certain guys that are threesome guys. Yep. That would be, yeah. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah, literally, fucking your friend's dick. We're looking at a picture. And you guys are right. You're literally fucking your friend's dick instead of a warm crevasse. A warm, like, vagina coosie. Yeah. A VC, if you will.

Yes. Spit roasting is like something that some straight guys are into. It's kind of weird. And that's an Eiffel Tower. The Eiffel Tower, yeah. Oh, we should have said that one. OK.

Well, we have enough. We have enough. You can also take the actual building yourself. I feel like that's scary. OK, so we'll go with R11. I think we know it all at the same time. Yeah. Or we'll all say it.

No, we got it. Wait, who's the leader of this team? No, we'll actually had this. So it's who had it first. We both had it. We both came up with a list earlier. So why does Big Cat get to say it? Oh, stop it, Hank.

Stop it, Hank. Here we go. All right, so R11. Big Cat, I'm going to allow you to say it first. All right, thank you. That's very nice of you. R11 is jerking off so easily. What?

I thought of that one too. You're literally touching a dick. Touching a dick, yes. You're giving a hand job. Yeah, you're jerking off a dick. Constantly touching it and like, really. It's not just staring at it, looking at it, caressing it. You're gooning over it, yeah.

It's not a glancing blow. You've got like constant contact with it. And you know what? You get really good at it, too. Yeah, really good. You know what you like. You know what your dick likes. You look forward to it.

Hank, you're looking at me with it. I don't know. I guess I'll let the panel decide. What? You don't think that that's it? I think it's a natural thing, like your body. Right, no, I mean technically. Of course, when are you saying that

homosexuality isn't natural, Hank? No, I'm saying jerking off. Like that just, if you don't, even if you don't jerk off, like your body's going to eventually just come. Is that true? I think, yeah. It's called an maternal admission.

Yeah, yeah. It's a hand job from God. You say, nocturnal admission? Admission? Admission? What is it? Emission? Emission.

Could be admission. All right, PFT, you go with our next one. I think we got, I mean, we have a great list. We got a good setup going here. My second one, I'm going to go with... You are going to go with? Shut the fuck up, Hank. You're so bad at trying to split us apart.

This is the thing is... We're lockstep right now. The why is... Hank is upset because we smoked him in the first one. PFT and I compiled a list of like 10 great answers. Same. So we can pick anything we want. Okay, this is an easy number two.

Yeah, it was. Yeah, number two for me, wrestling. Fuck. Yeah. Wrestling, either professional or competitive, like collegiate wrestling, either way you want to slice it. Or WWE, like it's just, you know, it's, it's a lot of, a lot of straight guys being like, go choke that guy out.

Now? Getting back, yeah. Shirts off. I'm going to triangle choke you out from behind real quick. Right. Tap. Rear naked choke. Tap when you're about to pass.

Yeah, right. Spear. Yeah, spear you. Yeah, like all that stuff. Suplex. Yeah, the... What's the one where the guy gets behind you and then he like sits on your ass

and then grabs your legs up? I think Jared, the wall is a Jared. Oh, that's a, it's a X something. Figure four. The figure four leg lock. Yeah, that's pretty gay. X-Pok when he would just like Bronco Buster.

Down the Bronco Buster. He would literally, the guy would be dead in the corner and he would jump on the ropes and basically grind his face in their face. Hot. Or grind his dick in their face. Yeah. Should we start a wrestling podcast?

Yeah, that's good. We actually have a, we have a, we have an opening. Yeah, we have an opening. We canceled one. We canceled one. Yeah. No, well, yeah. That made room for you guys.

We can offline about this. Yeah. That would actually be great if... At June one, July me at one meeting. If we brought back wrestling, but we're like, if we're brought back wrestling, there's college wrestling. No, it's just, no, Brandon can do wrestling,

but Joey and Pat have to be on the show. It's called Aslan. And, and, and, and Brandon's just talking about how much he loves wrestling and they're just sitting in the corner being like, that's gay. Yeah. Okay.

Are we next? Yeah, you're next. So we had, we had an, an iteration of wrestling, but we're not going to use it because we feel that would be too much of a piggyback. But we should bring it on. Can we bring it up? Yeah, bring it up.

Yeah. It was, it was Turkish oil wrestling. Yeah. Oh, okay. Have you ever seen that? No. Oh, please Google it. Please Google Turkish oil wrestling.

You're literally fisting and grabbing guys' balls. Your hand is down the other guy's pants the whole time. So they try and get in and like, you grab and you wrestle. Oh yeah. This looks good. Yeah. It's just guys with their shirts off. Turkish oil.

Do you see their arms down the underwear? Yeah. Yeah. Turkish oil wrestling. Their hands are down their pants. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, you guys are right on that. That's, uh, I didn't know this was a thing. Oh, I did. So Joey, we either do this top one here or this one here. The very top or this. Oh, no, wait, it's, uh, it's Hank's turn now. Oh, no, you, you're going to take yours.

Top one or this, you pick. I think maybe the one that's highlighted. I really, I hope that there's like at least one listener who's listening, who's like a little bit homophobic and hears a say their favorite activities. Oh, wait, what? Wrestling. This one's very good.

And it's, it's, it tells all this time from the Greeks, fraternities and hazing. Yes. Yes. It's a gay shiver. And not, here, butch. Let me stick this thing out on an elephant walk, ladies. Yeah.

All right. Let me put this funnel on my friend's ass and have him butchug beer while I, while I'm making sure that there's a secure seal on his fucking asshole. Oh, that could have been one too, butchug. We're getting away so many. That's Dana Beers. Dana Beers for sure.

He poofs. Pounding beers in general is kind of pause. Yeah. So frats in general, yeah. Yeah, frats in here. Yep. OK. Fraternity X.

Like knowing where all your buddies went to high school. Yeah. It's like Joey's saying the gayest thing ever. The Greek alphabet. Yes. Yeah. Alpha, Sigma, Sigma. The little dinner parties in their costumes,

like their little suit and gowns. Togas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the costumes. That really is. It's like if you, if you actually, that's, it's a funny thing. Like, you know that comic was at Garfield without Garfield?

Yeah. If you did, if you did like frats without chicks. Yeah. If you just like did, looked at all the pictures and you're like, OK. And then they have to, I'll prove that they're straight by having a formal. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, good to check so far. The ratio sucks. Yeah. Hey, I got breaking news real quick. Breaking sports news. Oh. Breaking news.

Breaking news. Arch Manning has announced that he is going to play for the Texas Longhorns. Whoa. Yeah, Texas is back. We knew that. Officially back. I saw that coming.

Joey's been saying that for weeks. What? Yeah. From who? Wow. For Adam Schefter at ESPN. Never heard of him? Wow.

Oh, yeah. Hanson disbelief. I didn't think I get that. That's shocking. It also shows that like the benefit of them going to the SEC because I feel like he might not have picked that if he doesn't get to play in the SEC. You would like Archie, man.

Arch? Arch. Arch Manning. Archie is the grandfather, the patron of the families. Archie, Payton, Eli, and this is the younger one. Oh, yeah. Actually, Eli tweeted a picture of boys hanging out. Yeah.

That was very funny. So it's 6'4". What do you think about? Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, I'm a grunt girl. Try to ensure I hit up the whole family, including the dad. That's the whole family.

They're all just dressed exactly alike. I run a train on me. Yeah. Line up, gentlemen. It's Pride Month. All right. Hank, go ahead. We're going to go with the Catholic Church.

Oh, that's so good. Yeah. That is so good. The drama of the costumes. No, the pageantry of it all. Yeah, it's super. It's theater. They put common dresses.

They're spraying water. There's smokes going on. There's candelabras. They're singing. There's chorus. There's instruments. Yes. And at the very end of it all, there's priests touching on boys.

Yeah. There's grooming, which there's nothing here than grooming. There's ornate decorations everywhere. Yeah. That's really well decorated. Yeah. That's amazing. There's a naked dude that's just like hung on the wall.

Yeah. Singalongs. Yeah. Singalongs. OK. Great pick, boys. Great pick. And then we will go with, it's slapping the ass after a play.

But basically, just any celebration with your sporting teammates, it's a little bit over the top. Again, if you remove the play beforehand, and you just saw a bunch of guys the way they're celebrating or hugging each other. Yeah. We just discussion. The passion.

The dog pile. The dog pile. At the end of the game. Anything. The dog pile. If someone hits a buzzer beater. Interception. Every sport, you know, it plays.

Yeah. You get the interception. You go with your boys to the end zone. All standing for the camera posing together. Yeah. That's good. OK. Good pick.

We have a good one, I think. It's a little. Is it our turn? Is it our turn? Yes. Yeah. OK. It's sharing a bed on vacation.

Ten guys in a room trying to save money in Cancun or a fucking Daytona beach. Mm-hmm. Cozy it up in the same bed. Yeah. Well, ten guys in a bed. Yeah. That's one with fantasy.

But that's one with fantasy. Well, can we take one back, actually? No. I think that's one with the Dyson cast. Who knows this year you can do it. I mean, there was this one too. This one is really kind of takes it up a notch. You have another pick.

No one's taking this one. This one is like, I didn't want to be too sexual off the bat. So I was like, let's slide this one. And then the last one we do. You didn't want it. Wasn't your first one? No, we just showed us a picture of Dickson of a giant.

Well, this is actually. Well, this one is. What is more sexual than that? Casey Smith's favorite. Yeah. So you have another pick coming up. But I know also we do honorable mentions. So we can discuss everything that we didn't pick.

So you'll have a chance to do that as well. All right. I mean, there's one here. Next one for us. I think we do this PFT. This one. I love secrets. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So our next pick is a quarterback under center. So not shotgun offense quarterback under center. Pro style offense. Pro style offense. What does that mean? Putting his hands in.

You basically. Oh yeah. Put the hands in the in the in the ass in the center. Like Tom Brady has a very specific way that he likes his centers ass to be. Yeah. And so he makes a center put a specific type of towel like in his ass cheeks.

Actually. Yeah. Yeah. During the game. Yeah. And what does it do? Just creates more of a V just around. It absorbs the sweat that's coming out of the asshole.

Yes. Because males naturally lubricate when Tom Brady is grinding underneath them. So he has to put a giant ass towel in between their ass cheeks during games. Yeah. Nice towel. That actually you know what instead of changing your

logo to a rainbow why doesn't a team come out against homophobes and be like we're only running pro style offense this year. No shotgun. That is something I would love to see. Yeah. Yeah. That would be nice.

For pride month. Yes. For pride month. But that's why they do it in June because they don't actually have to do it. I think we do this one last. Well that's obvious though. Which one?

That one. That one. That one. This one. I think that's what we should have done. I was going to I was going to go the first one. OK. Just pull them.

So the last one being called a daddy or calling yourself daddy. Mm hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's good. Daddy's home. Hey come give your dad daddy.

She'll get a wrecked. Yeah daddy a kiss. Yeah. Yeah. That's big. Zaddy do you know what a Zaddy is? Yeah. Which is a Zaddy.

Explain a Zaddy. A Zaddy is like a hot like a like a like a like a metrosexual great like Silver Fox Daddy right? Right. What about dad uh? Cause like I'll come home and be like my son calls me dad uh. Stop. And we'll kiss on the lips.

How long is the kiss? That's not gay. Oh long. I feel like guys will need to do that to either their kids or to girls though. Daddy? Yeah. No no kids call their dad daddy.

All the time. Yeah. Daddy's home. Especially like like daughters call their dad's daddy all the time. Yeah. We have my siblings and I prefer to my parents as mommy and daddy. Yeah. Be gay.

Yeah. But we don't call them dad. I want to say daddy can I borrow this? I like dad can I have this? But when we refer to our parents to each other it's like do you call mommy and daddy today? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Daddy. But you've also used daddy in the bedroom several times. Hank's doing a very bad job of trying to poke holes in this team. This team is iron clad right now Hank. We're fucking locs now. We're airtight. I'm just mad you got Catholic Church. That's like the best.

Catholic Church is the best pan so far. Catholic Church is the best. Well well second best behind double double penetration is very very strong. What about this one? Which one? Okay you guys go with your last pick. It's very funny watching Hank's brain try to wrap itself around how jacking off could fit into this draft. You're going to you're going to think about it next time you go to jerk off.

Okay the last one. I think I am going to be thinking about girls. Is that strong enough? Think about girls dude. You think about girls. I'll think about chicks. As your hand is wrapped around your meaty cock. Yeah.

It definitely is. I mean I guess there will be difference there too. You're literally making a cock come. Yeah. You're making a cock come. You're gay. You're getting cum on yourself. Yeah.

Out of my mention. That one. Come play with your belly button. None of you shoot it right into your mouth though. Throw the legs up over the top. Take it right from the top. There's a couple good ones. This one is also good too.

Well maybe that's an honorable mention. That's not. That's that is that's homosexuality. Well it was the it was. We're not picking this one. He said lady boys. This is an honorable. I was going to say the country of Thailand.

Okay I'm going to say the scratch and sniff. Scratching your balls. Yeah. That's a good one. Savoring the fucking nutsack. That's a great one. It's a great one. It's smelling like.

Oh. It's just like he wanted to do it. Yeah. Constantly. That's the gayest thing ever. Yeah. There's a shot. There's a shot.

After you made your the dick cum. Now you're going to hold the balls to all that musk and everything. You cuddle it. You can't get enough of it. You're cock hungry at this point. The soccer coach from Germany. He was famous for getting caught on the sidelines.

He was like a really like well put together guy like very like he'd dress up in suits and stuff on the sidelines and then he'd be out there and he'd have his hands down his pants and you catch him doing that and then he'd just take a giant whiff of his hand. You all do it. Oh, yeah.

Do you? It's true. Oh, yes. I've done it. I don't think I've ever. I don't think I notice when I do it though. I would never do it in like a public situation probably. Well, maybe at Goonfest.

What's Goonfest? Oh, our live show on July 16th. You haven't heard? Oh, no. I haven't heard yet. We're taking everyone's cell phones at the door. Yeah. Oh, sounds awesome.

But yeah, definitely that. This is going to be a very, it's called Goonfest. And then you're just driving away with them. Yeah. We're selling in a China town. That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm gross enough.

Can I be honest? This is a safe place, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah. I've actually taken my underwear off and held them up to my nose while I masturbate. Joey. That's too honest.

Bro, you might be gay. I might be. Well, let's not jump the gun here. I like it. So I took the extra step. You did take the extra step. They get the extra shot. Hank's like, that sounds fun.

It's like normal. What's wrong with that? Hank's going to try that later. I do like smelling my balls, but that is a little bit. Who doesn't like smell? We were on Barstool vs. America. I think that's what makes it gay. I think it gets gay when you're masturbating smelling your own balls.

You're getting off on the smell. We were on Barstool vs. America, and I let him use my room to shower, and I literally thought to myself, my underwear is on the ground. Oh, smell. He's going to smell it, and he walks back down, and he goes, your underwear was on the ground.

No, I would take, what's the one I liked? The one who suspected. Mokehi. Oh, Billy. He loves Fasoli. Can you believe that? Oh, really? He's a big, well, that's rude.

I can believe that. He's a big, he's a very big Fasoli guy. He obsesses over Fasoli. That's pretty mean, Pat. Yeah, that was very, I love Fasoli, but he's- I have visions, I have fantasies about getting a hairball, and choking to death. He'll walk by, he'll just go,

ooh, those legs. Got it? Big Ad, just a real quick sidebar here. I know that we said that we wouldn't talk about him. What if we just loaned Billy to out and about for the rest of the month? Oh, that would be a treat. We do need him for the parade.

We need him on a jockstrap with glitter. I would like to see that. I would like to see Billy go all in on the pride parade. Billy is, he's at a table. He's warmed up. He's warmed up. He was, he was an under center quarterback. He was a pro style quarterback.

He went like this? Yeah, oh yeah. Was he? I feel like he went like this. Oh, he might have been shocked. I know, I think he was pistol. I think he was curious. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Curious? Yeah, he was still working things out. That was an all time clip, by the way, with Big T, when he's like, no, I'm not gay, but I am curious. And then you guys just stopped. You're like, what? Punishing Billy football is gay. You're getting the corner.

No, they're doming him out. They're doming Billy football. True, you're right. You know, Billy would be very sub for you. Like a good little, like a good little intern. If he's never gonna learn, if he doesn't, oh my god. If he doesn't take his licks. All right, Hank, your last pick.

Our last pick is using an umbrella. So you got that from somebody else. Whoa. Because they tried to give that to us, too. Oh, I like mine. Oh, from Bubba. That was Bubba. What do you guys think about using an umbrella?

I hate getting wet. I'm like a cat, so I don't think it's gay. Well, I am also gay, so I don't really like it. I don't like using it because I don't like the schlep. I don't like carrying the rain. I would rather be wet than walk around with a fucking umbrella. Then you got to shut it, and it's tough to shut it because everything gets wet and everything drips down.

It's the worst. And you're like walking on the sidewalk, and you're trying to do the math of if you can fit past somebody while you're holding your umbrella, then you raise it, have to lower it. Just wear a raincoat. I don't like using an umbrella because guys just try to kiss me all the time.

Right, exactly. When I have it. Nice. We have another one. Oh, these are honorable mentions. Yeah, honorable mentions. Honorable mentions. Eating dessert.

Using up a day. Eating dessert. Oh, eating dessert. Very gay. Yeah, any sweets, any kind of cupcake, any kind of pastry with whipped cream topping. Whipped cream is gay. Whipped cream is very gay.

I'd say treats in general. Fruit is gay. Strawberries are gay. Rim jobs are gay. What about when you're saying eat a hot dog or like a corn dog? Popsicle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Popsicle, corn dog.

Yeah, lollipop. What was that? Yeah. On the left. Leather. Leather is gay. Leather vests. Yeah.

Vests. Vests. Yeah, vests. Oh, vests. Guys in motorcycle clothes are like, what? Jockstraps, obviously. Yeah, jockstraps. Those two obvious.

We asked Enrique and he said jockstraps. Enrique was jammed. Great list you guys came up with. Oh, we didn't use it. Actually, we all used it. All these were already. Yeah, we didn't use. Oh, yeah.

That's good. We had that. We had rim jobs. We had every single part of taking a shit. Yeah. The pushing out, the cleanup process afterwards, it's, yeah. What about, it's pretty sus. What about dumping, like when a team wins

and you dump water on your coach and it's basically like a wet teacher. It's see-through, yeah. No, that's gay. Like in college, because they can't drink. Like if they have a big win in basketball, they'll like run in there and everyone will just like pour water all over each other.

Chest bumps? Yeah, chest bumps are gay. Sports taps, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Riding a bike. Riding a horse. Riding a horse. Riding a cop.

Riding a cop. That's another one. I'm sure we've all been there, right? Yeah, kissing your dad. Yep, kissing your dad on the lips. Yeah. Yeah. Eiffel towering.

Yep. Your dad kissing me on the lips. Shopping. Boosie brunch. Shopping is gay. Spanking. Boosie brunch is very good. Brunch.

Yeah. Brunch. White wine. Yeah. Wine is gay. Yeah. White wine is so gay. I'll just take a riesling, please.

Something nice and light. White wine. Yeah. The machine at the gym where your legs do this. Oh, the bad doctor. They call it the sus machine. Yeah. Classical music.

Or any kind of orchestra music. Yeah. The orchestra. The theater. The fine arts. Painting bodies. Body painting. Like a sports game.

If you go to it as a fan, you paint your chest. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or your nipples as basketballs. Mm-hmm. I don't know if you guys saw that. You turn.

Yeah, you turn your entire upper body into a badger. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that could do it. Or shaving your chest hair into a shape. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

There was that one guy last night at the College World Series that did that. He shaved like two triangles above his nipples. Like a bikini top? Yeah. They kept interviewing him about it. He's like, no, I just kind of wanted to do it. They're like, did you lose a bet?

He's like, no, I just kind of, I thought it was cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Says it. Swimming is kind of gay. Ooh. Swimming is a little bit gay.

Yeah. OK. It's just like that. Well, the Speedos? Yeah, Speedos. Just not even the Speedos, just like swimming. Like the boys are going swimming, like that's gay. Yeah.

Putting on SunTenLotions, gay. Putting on SunTenLotions. Wearing sunscreen. That's a fucking great one. Wearing sunscreen. Like sunscreen. Yeah. You think you're tougher than the sun?

Yeah. You're the fucking sun. Accessories are gay. OK. If you have too many accessories. Yeah, how many is too many? Three or four will do the trick. But that actually is funny because I have one Mexican lucky.

Is that a cabala bracelet? No. It's some guy. I bought it from a dude in Mexico. It's a lucky eye. It's a gambling luck. And it hasn't worked. What about wearing band-aids?

Wearing band-aids is gay. Because if it's just, is it minute enough that a band-aid's going to fix it, you're a pussy for wearing a little band-aid. Yeah. I mean, if it's really fucked up, you're going to have a fucking cast-on or a fucking, you know, a tarp, aloe vera is gay.

You should dye it. Yeah, lotion it up. Yeah. A band-aid if you can't have a band-aid. It's somewhere, if you need a band-aid, just go all the way and dye. Right, yeah. Otherwise, what's the point?

Small tattoo's are gay. Oh, yeah. Little tattoo. Little tattoo. This one right here, he's going to cry. No, the guy with like a regular sized arm and just like a small one here are like, you know what I mean. You know why he's got tattoos?

So he's got to tell you the story about why he got a 10-point deer on him? Why? So he can attract hunters in the bar. Oh. So they can come up to me and then I start talking to you. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, my uncle's a hunter, messenger. And then you know, next thing you know, I'm getting reeled behind the Pizza Hut, Domino's Combo.

The ambitious crossover, Pizza Hut, Domino's Combo. Crips and the blood's dying, they're being danced together. Yeah. How small the tattoo, like one that's on your finger? No, just like. Like, what about the ones where you do like this? Yeah, like on the side, that's what I'm saying, on the side of your finger. No, I think it's like more like small tattoos in a large area.

What about thigh tattoo? You're like, what's it said? It's like a fish. Of what? Just a fish. What if you have a fish? Like the fish used to draw in high school. I'm like, I just named Larry.

A pretty, like gorgeous goldfish. Yeah. A goldfish is the game. Like a brook trout now. Now a trouser trout is also gay. Yeah. Well, so back to accessories. I feel like that you're right, but if you go over the top with it,

if you have like nine wristbands, then you're, then you're Lenny Kravitz and you're the straightest man of all time. But it depends on the type of accessory of thin, like the thickness of the bracelet matters. If it's like a bunch of beads and you have like 10 of them, you're gay. Like you're gay. You know what I mean? It all matters on how you accessor it.

Yeah. I do trump. Conditioning your hair. Yes. Yeah. Body lotion. Equinox is gay. Yeah, it is.

Equinox is gay. I feel bad for the girls who go in there. No one's looking at those pigs. Um, we were talking to Nick on the way in. He said confidence in general. Being like, yeah, I feel good about myself. I look good. Like my body.

Like, look how I look in these clothes. I look awesome. Yeah, that's gay. Yeah, because you're looking at yourself and getting turned on. Mirrors. So that makes mirrors gay. Mirrors are gay. Yeah.

Laying your outfit on the bed is gay. That's making the bed is gay. Making the bed every morning. Making the bed is gayer than double penetration. Fresh flowers are gay. If you've got flowers in the house, anything scented candles are gay. I could go on for days.

Yeah. Candles. I feel like flowers. Gay stuff everywhere. Flowers are for everyone. Flowers are, I think flowers are just like. I had a bouquet yesterday, bro. Just nice.

I know, he did. I love flowers in the house. Um, I'm also s***. We can bleep that, right? What about little dogs? Yeah. It depends. Yeah, tell.

It depends on how you interact with it. Okay. Talking to your little dog? Talking, like a little height. Like little baby voice. That can make it gay. To a small, small dog. Actually, you know, I think dogs might be off limits.

Yeah. To be honest. I don't think little dogs are gay. Okay. Unless a gay guy holding it, then that's not very gay. Giant dogs. No. Tanning beds?

I've never been in a tanning bed. I would say like just. I'm too straight. Just like laying out. Yeah, all right. No, I've never been in a tanning bed. I have a natural, beautiful olive skin. As you see on display right now.

Just like laying out. Anytime a guy lays out somewhere. Yeah. So the beach is gay. If it's outside. So yeah, the beach is gay. Lakes are gay. I just.

Water is gay. Water is gay. I'm so too. You're either like. You're either like hot tubs gay? Oh, hot tubs. Hot tubs are gay. Hot tubs.

I was on a bachelor party in Vermont. I was sitting in a hot tub with six of my friends. And we were like, this is kind of gay. Yeah. Yeah. And I was, I was like, no, we can stay. Steam room and saunas. Steam room and saunas.

There you go. Think about water though. Every time you're around water, you're either like laying out. Like displaying your body next to it. Or you're like splashing other people with it. You're playing in it. Or you're like just pouring it down your throat. I'm done with water.

I just want to keep going. You just haven't. Showering at the beach. Showering off of the sand at the beach. Showering in general. This microphone. Yeah. Yeah.

Our flip flops gay. Flip flops are gay. Open chose shoes are gay. Thongs are gay. Yeah. I think we covered everything. Yeah. Everything's been great.

All right. And there's definitely going to be some people who have to like. Look themselves in the mirror, which will be gay. And be like, whoa, I just listened to part of my take today. And I got to reassess. We're groomers. Yeah. You're grooming.

I'm done with the ball. Grooming is good. We invented grooming. All right. Well, thank you guys. Thank you for having us. Out and about. Subscribe.

What do you got coming up after? Is there like a after Pride month? Is there like a hangover where it's like, well, that was a lot. Well, we have our live show coming up on July 16th. Okay. To answer your question. Yes. What are you laughing at?

I look at Hank after Pride ago. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We take Hank to the fires after Pride. Oh. He called the meeting on July 16th. July 1st. It's like on July 1st.

It's the day Pride month ends. To get started on our schedule, Joey calls me in a panic at 10 at night. He's going, this is it. It's over. We think we're getting let go. Hank, on July 1st, and we so mean it. But you find the tickets on Barstool Sports live events.

It's going to be me and Joey. It's at Sony Hall in New York City. Sony Hall. Club venue. Awesome venue. Great time to square. It's going to be on sale. Are they on sale?

They're on sale right now. I love it. It's awesome. So everyone go out there. It's going to be a great night. Who's special guest? Uh, not yet. Possibly you.

Possibly you. Yeah. Possibly you. Possibly you. Possibly you. Possibly you. Possibly you. Possibly you.

Think about it. Well, Billy football boy handing out paper towels in the men's room. Yeah. Oh, oh. Getting a, getting a, getting a, getting a, the guy in the bathroom washing your hands free and giving the paper towels guy.

Taking a paper towel from a guy in the bathroom is gay. Little mints. The mints from any sort of toilet, toiletries are gay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Diddy bags are gay too. That's the last one.

But we'll see you there. Sony Hall July 16th. All right. So check it out. Where can they buy it? Live? You go to, you can go to barstoolsports.com slash events slash out and about.

About seatbelts. Yeah. Buckling up safety. In the backseat. Safety's gay. Safety's gay. Yeah. You're sorry.

You're sorry. You're sorry, you're sorry, you're sorry. All right. Well, thank you, Joey, Pat, out and about. Check it out. Go to their live show. It's going to be fantastic. You guys, I feel like you guys are a shooting star.

Like not in it. That's going to keep shooting. Stop. Thank you. Because I know shooting stars eventually fade out. I don't know if that was like a David Spade moment. Yeah, you guys are rocket ship. Thank you.

We're headed out. Not the challenger. We're going out. Not the challenger. R.I.P. Yeah. Chris and McAuliffe share the same last name. Rocket ships kind of.

Rocket ship should get space travel. Yeah. Space travel is gay. One more. I just, now I'm thinking magic. Magic is gay. Oh, magic is gay. Magic is so good.

Like a magician in a restaurant. The ones that like throw the bubble up and it becomes that's it. Rocket ships. They are so missiles. Guns. Missiles. Yeah. Guns are pretty gay.

It's just like bullets. You're shooting sperm basically. Then I was thinking navy and then I'm going ships. Ships are gay. Yeah, we forgot about fucking military. It's the gayest thing in the world. All right. Thank you guys.

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for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Okay, let's wrap up with Firefest of the Week. By the way, Monday we have Biz and Wit together in studio with the Mount Rushmore in an interview. And Wednesday, I know people have been asking. I apologize for taking a little bit of time. But we had the NBA draft this week. Wednesday, Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez, awesome interview with them.

Hank, Firefest. Yep, Firefest. Been playing golf back on Got the Itch Again that time of year. Oh, yeah? Trying to get a handicap going. Would you shoot? Nice catch. I shot a 53.

I went out with our darling Jake Marsh. We played a little match. He's 53 is not bad. It's pretty bad. And Jake beat me by like six strokes. Wait, 18 holes? No, nine. Oh, I think you shot a 53 on 18 holes.

But you're probably drunk, right? You were just like casual golfing. Early in the morning, seven o'clock. You really are an executive. Just getting those early golf rounds in. I know. But I got to be. I can't be on the course with other executives.

Yes, that's true. Swimming like that, losing to Jake. Well, Jake is the best in the office. Does it nice that you've had quite a hot run the last month? Is it nice to know that no matter what, like Jake is always here to humble you? Celtic. No.

Yeah, I would have preferred that to keep going. No, but no. No, but you humble him. I'm down to go back to the way things were on the rise up. No, but Jake is, you know, he's just there. Anytime you need a humble pie, you could just get a slice at Jake's house. Yeah, seriously.

And he does it with kindness. Yeah, Jake, I talked to Jake as well. He said that he thought he played terrible. And he still beat you by six strokes. That's what he said. You did say that you played poorly. I said I played all right. I had some good polls and I had some bad holes.

Yeah. So we beat you by six strokes. Was there any trash talk going back and forth between you guys? No, I couldn't even, I didn't even, I didn't have a chance. I obviously was ready to. Jake never did. What was the conversation? You had some lines ready?

Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know. I like to, I like to chirp a little bit. What was the conversation like? We were playing with two, a dude from England, a dude from Scotland. Shout out to them. Pleasant conversation.

You guys couldn't play just two of you? Ah, no, it's foursome. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Poked a tee time. Did those guys play well? No.

Jake beat them all? No, one of them was probably. Yeah, I think they both shot like 48. Yeah, so Jake beat them all. That's my boy. Good job, Jake. Fuck yes. Just beating strangers off the street.

Those guys flew over here from Scotland to get their ass kicked by Jake Marge. Smoked by Jake. To have Jake just shove a putter up their ass. Yeah, they're going to go back. They're going to go back to the channel. They're like, how was your trip? It's like, well, it was great except for this one guy

who just fucked us up on the golf course. He brought a friend though that was so bad we thought he'd never played golf before. No, that's fine. We got to do a group outing soon. OK, cool. I'm in. Yeah, sure.

So for us to watch you beat Hank? No, you force them. A gallery. OK, yeah, yeah. We'll be the gallery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, we can do that. We'll do anything you guys want.

Great. Yeah. Sounds fun. You're the boss. All right, PFT year of Firefest. My Firefest, it's kind of a group Firefest, but also for me in particular. Yeah, that's the move now.

You big cut teaming up. Shut the fuck up, Hank. Jesus Christ. My Firefest is I have to look at Hank all day. Hank was downstairs on the second floor all day today, just hovering. You get mad if you're not hanging out. Just hovering around.

Oh, Hank came in today at the usual hour that executives come in at 11.30. And I was up on the third floor, and he thought he saw a ghost. Like he was like, what are you doing up here? Get out of here. This is my like world's colliding. He doesn't.

We should go up there and just start mixing it up up there to see what Hank's like rep is up there. Claim a desk. Yeah, claim a desk up there. But my actual Firefest, in addition to dealing with Hank, is that I think we're addicted to suspending people. So we sussied someone, and then we sussied Brooke's pending appeal.

Today I sussied Avery, because he's been hanging on to the science fair video for like a week and a half. And he just won't release it. He's hoarding all the footage himself. So I had to sussie him too. And I just feel like this is one of those things. How's he going to release it if you sussied him?

Well, maybe I'll pending appeal. I'll allow him to make an appeal to me. Peels are big. Yeah, but I feel like this is just something that we're going to be doing all the time. Oh, yeah. It's just suspending people. We're drunk with power.

Oh, yeah. I can see how Roger Goodell loves it so very deeply. Yes. Because I kind of find myself, what's that saying? Like absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'm a million percent. I would be the worst king. I would be the mad king.

Yeah. I would just destroy everyone. So never give me an inch of power because I will abuse it. So I'm looking forward to seeing how we overdo this one until it bites us in the ass. Yeah. And then we learn our lesson because it's happening at some point.

Yeah. Mine's similar that like, so my fire fest is we've had barcel idol this week. I think it's gone very, very well. We're hiring a new colleague. PFT had a vote on Wednesday night. I have to vote tonight. So you're going to know by the time you listen to this.

But I've quickly realized that like voting on people's future is the worst. It's not funny. I hate so much having to be like, oh, you're funny. You're not funny. Oh, I'm going to give you a dream job. Oh, I'm not. Like it's just the stress of this week has eaten me alive

where I just I'm not having I'm having fun. But at night I lay down. I'm like, fuck, am I making the wrong decision? Just making decisions in general sucks. And even sometimes if it's a guy that you vote for, then they'll end up like getting dimension, falling off a bike and ruining everything. And then you're like, oh, shit.

What did I do before? Did the concussion cause the dementia? Both concussion on dementia feels like a really bad thing. Or it might just make you it might just eliminate the effects of the dementia. That's true. Just knock it out of your brain. Yeah.

Yeah. Not there you go. Old school like 80s football. Knock the cobwebs off. Yeah. He's ready to go now. He's ready to play. Joe Joe is going to be sharp as a tack.

But yeah, 16 dimensional chess against Putin. Making decisions sucks. It sucks. It just sucks, sucks, sucks. So yeah, it's been a great week of Barcelona, but yeah, I'm happy to see it go because I do not take pleasure in deciding the fate of other people. Yeah.

It's a lot of it's responsibility, but it's like real world impacting people's futures responsibility. Yeah, like knowing that you are actually could impact someone's like the trajectory of their life is just a terrible feeling to have. That's why you got to take it not seriously at all and just like right in San Jaya every time.

Yeah, right. We need a San Jaya gate. All right, Jake, wrap us up. Yeah. So another golf firefest from last week. I was on the third hole and I couldn't find my sandwich, left it on the first screen, had to turn around, slowed down everything.

Wait, you beat him by six strokes without a sandwich? No, this was last week. Oh, OK. What did you beat him last week? We can play last week. Oh, but you would have? Would you shoot last week? Would you shoot last week?

95. Would you shoot last week, Hank? About 95. So you beat him without, you probably weren't even in a bunker though. Yeah. No, I was in a bunker. You know who else was in a bunker?

President. Yeah, sure. So yeah. Yeah. Something like that. You nailed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, that is a firefest.

Yeah, so it was tough. It was like a real rush. I just don't ever go back. You need your sandwich. No, I just leave it. Yeah. And then I just stop golfing and then don't golf again for five years.

If it's enough holes behind, you just say fuck it. Like it belongs to the course now. Yeah, yeah. Just slowly to whittle it down. I would love to. That would be the best to be one of those golfers that has golf like three clubs. Yeah, I've actually thought about that.

I don't think that I would be significantly worse at golf if I only had a driver, a seven iron, and a putter. On Wii Sports, they have that. That's the only options. Those three? It's driver, iron, and putter. Yeah, that's all that I need. I don't think I would shave any strokes off my game

by incorporating irons three through six. Why haven't they made a golf club where it's like, you know those weights that you can put the key in and it's like a five pound, then you can make it a 10 pound? Why haven't they made that? They have. Interchange the club. They have.

They have. There's one of those out there. It's got to be so bad. Oh, it's awful. Yeah, I want to use that. It's really bad. That's all I want. He's got that with one club.

Yeah. Just carrying it. It's my Swiss Army knife. Yeah, just switching it. It's just super heavy. Yeah, I'm in for that. Someone make a super, like a, I don't know what would do. I think the problem was it was too.

How do they do it? It was too heavy because you have all those. Yeah. You have to have a. You need to be like Kevlar or something. You have to have a joint in it that like switches the angle and then you also have to be able to use as a driver. No, wait.

Kevlar is heavy. What is the thing that they use for like kayaks and shit? Is it the carbon fiber? Yeah, that's it. That's what I'm talking about. We need carbon fiber clubs all in one. That's a genius idea. There's also a wedge in me sports.

Correcting myself. Oh, wow. Wow. So you're suspended. I was going to get like five to ten tweets being like you're wrong. And what would you have done? Your life would have been over. Yeah.

I'm issuing you a 30 second suspension from the podcast. Okay. Pending appeal. All right. Let's go numbers. Granted. Numbers. Everyone have a great weekend.

31. Someone told me that 31 is coming on Friday. 13. I'm going to say it. 6. 69. 25. This guy was right about 31.

49. No one has hit it in a long time. Third time. It's been. Yeah. It's a real dry spot here for us. Well, Frank, he hasn't hit it at all. Ever?

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