Pardon My Take - Week 16 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Smashing Watermelons And Playoff Scenarios

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

We start with Fastest 2 minutes and SNF then recap every game from Week 16  (2:34 - 8:12) Packers Titans (8:12 - 14:46) Vikings 33, Saints 52 (14:46 - 18:42) Bucs 47, Lions 7  (18:42 - 27:53) 49ers 20, Cardinals 12 (27:53 - 36:42) Dolphins 26, Raiders 25  (36:42 - 46:20) Falcons 14, Chiefs 17  (46:20 - 52:17) Browns 16, Jets 23  (52:17 - 59:30) Colts 24, Steelers 28  (59:30 - 67:57) Bears 41, Jaguars 17  (67:57 - 76:20) Giants 13, Ravens 27  (76:20 - 78:35) Bengals 37, Texans 31 (78:35 - 81:50) Broncos 16, Chargers 19  (81:50 - 87:28) Panthers 20, WFT 13 (87:28 - 92:56) Eagles 17, Cowboys 37 (92:56 - 101:40) Rams 9, Seahawks 20  (101:40 - 106:46) Football guy of the week and who's back of the week to wrap up the show. We're getting hard bodies in 2021 (106:46 - 122:06)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad-free, on Amazon Music. On today's part of my take, week 16, we got a recap of every single game, who's back of the week, fastest two minutes, playoff implications up the ass. We literally spent all day watching football, just throwing, lobbing, playoff scenarios at each other, trying to figure it out. That's what, we don't need no nerd, we don't need Steve Kornacky telling us what to do.

We have our dumb brains in the playoff machine. I need my two hands, one computer on the playoff machine, the other on 538's playoff simulator, like Alicia Keys, playing both at the same time, get all the scenarios right. I feel like I'm ready, but I feel like once I learn a new thing, I forget the last thing. But it's also fun to like unravel the new thing, like ooh, I didn't even realize this. We'll get to all of that pack show, last show, last full show, live show of 2020. We have a best of coming on Wednesday with some new interviews. So we're brought to you by our friends at the Cash App.

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Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App, go download it right now, use code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA. Today is Monday, December 28th and it is week 16. Quinceanera? No, Quinceanera. 15. 15.

Quinceanera plus one. Sweet 16. I didn't do well in Spanish class. We start in Las Vegas where Tua was playing like Pua and the Dolphins played two as the Colt chairs with their quarterbacks bringing in Ryan Fitzpatrick Mahomes and a no look pass to win the game. Josh Jacobs Marley kept the chains moving but it was the ghost of Gruden's pass that haunted the Raiders on Saturday night as a coach watched his team suffer another late

season collapse. Jason Footprints in the Sanders was carried by Jesus above the crossbars as Dolphins get their one step closer to the playoffs. James 26, the Raiders 25. In Pittsburgh where Phillip Three Rivers met the Steelers for a game with all the playoff implications, Ben Gottlesberger was brooding in the first half but then found the cure in the second for a furious Steelers comeback. James Joyce Connor wrote another chapter on the Steelers Odyssey and look away Joe Buck

as Michael Jackson Tomlin as the Steelers moonwalking into the playoffs as Big Ben took a look in the mirror and saw an AFC North champion Steelers 28, the Colts 24. In Jacksonville where the Bears win BIG looking so good I want to suck on your daddy's dick but this with just me and my Mitch, me and my Mitch, Mike Vladimir Glennon passed away and left the Russian attack stalling. Jimmy two times Graham played basketball in college played basketball in college and caught a pair of scores in the blowout in a touching tribute to their former general manager and coach Tom Coughlin.

The Jaguars are officially on the clock for the number one pick one week early. Bears 41, Jaguar 17. Did someone shit in the jacuzzi because the Browns got in the hot chubbed time machine to relive some old school misery in the meadowlands on Sunday. James and Irish Whiskey Crowder threw up a shot in the first half to get the Jets going and they never look back. The Browns receivers went mask off putting their future in jeopardy as the Lebrounds James Jr. are smashing like on their fifth LASA of the year.

Jets 23, the Browns 16 and Kansas City where my good friends Dan Lebatard Quinn and Matt Mike Ryan Ruiz will no longer be seen on ESPN come January as the Falcons have been eliminated from the playoffs. While former Chief Larry Johnson stays woke, these Chiefs sleptwalk through the first three quarters of the game almost fumbling away an easy win. Fumble! The kicker from the A team missed the tee shot wide right to bring the game to overtime leaving fans shouting I pity the coup.

Chiefs clinched the one seed 17-14. Over to Baltimore where J.K. Rowling Dobbins was very offensive towards Martinez, Pepper's Crowder and the rest of the Giants' pronouns. Wayne Gaulman Milk couldn't stop the Giants offense from having IBS and pooping all over themselves. Ravens fans feeling like they're taking a super-nose of MDMA as everyone all over Baltimore is throwing up the X as Des Bryant finds the in-zone again. The Ravens 27, the Giants 13.

Oh, sorry, where were we? I was just dropping off some of the little swamis at the swimming pool if you know what I mean. Oh, oh yeah, box 47, line 7. And down to Washington where T. Dwayne Haskins was in love with the stripper but is unable to hit the c-dub. Taylor Heinecky Carcare Bowl couldn't fix the football team's muffled punt and Teddy Roosevelt Bridgewater has Washington fans missing their cousins or at the very least

a leader whose legs don't work. Mr. Smith, please report to Washington. The Panthers take down the football team 20-13. Sticking in the NFC beast where Jalen Hurts so good, Hurts no good. And Jalen played like a Hurts rent-a-carsen whence as Eagles fans are confused on who they want to be their quarterback. Michael Scott McCarthy smashed a watermelon making everyone who bet on the Eagles feel like ignorant sluts and the Cowboys, unlike their owner, are very much alive, heading

into week 17 as Michael gallop in these guts. Fuck the Eagles secondary all afternoon long. The Eagles, the Cowboys a lot, the Eagles a little. Standing on the corner, Jamie Swinton down in Nola, such a fine sight to see, is T. Sam Hill, my lord, vulturing Alvin Scores and stopping Kamala from getting 17. Come on Zimmer, your future's dimmer, debris's get his ribs removed, he's looking slimmer. Seconds go marching. All right, week 16 in the books.

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Packers in the snow, in Green Bay. That's cheating. That's cheating. Also, Aaron Rodgers went too fast for one of the refs tonight. That's cheating. He pulled a hard count on the officials, and then the next time that they got the ball, they snapped it before Mike Rabel could take a look at the replay and throw a challenge flag.

So, yeah. Okay, so yes, Aaron Rodgers is a very good player. Very good MVP, some might say. Everyone's turning this into like a, oh, if Patrick Mahomes had these numbers, Aaron Rodgers. Actually, you know what I saw a little bit of tonight for the first time in a long time? Oh, if Aaron Rodgers was going through these speed bumps like Patrick Mahomes is going through, the media would turn on Aaron Rodgers immediately. So, you have to look at everything good that Aaron Rodgers does through a prism of what

if it happened to another good player? Aaron Rodgers is the MVP. It sucks. If I had a vote, I wouldn't vote for him, but I don't have a vote, so I have to just sit here and say, he is most likely going to win the MVP. It's probably deserved. The Packers look awesome. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

The Titans are, I don't know what, I mean, they're kind of what we think. Like, they're just, they can look explosive sometimes, but their defense is not good. This was the Fraud Bowl. It was the Fraud Bowl, and the Titans unfortunately lost the Fraud Bowl. I don't believe in the Titans, but then you say to yourself, oh, but Derek Henry just fucking jam it down someone's throat. I just don't think their defense can hang. Their defense can't hang.

Like, they just can't. No, they have no pass rush. They have zero pass rush. And they just don't get off the field on third down, so I do think it was cheating. I opted out of this game as soon as the Packers started kicking the shit out of them. I opted back in when the Titans made a five-point game, but the snow was cheating and the Packers looked really good and whatever. That's good.

That's big of you, though, to admit that they looked really good. They looked really good. Do you think that it would be appropriate of me to use a connection that I have to try to get the Titans better with the pass rush, better on defense? Yes. No, wait, no, do it. Not for the Titans. Yeah.

So Clay Matthews wants to come back and play. Okay, do it. Mike Vrable. Yeah. You're listening to this show right now. Yeah. I was networking with Clay Matthews, whomst I played called duty with the other night. Okay.

He said he's in pretty good shape. Now, if this means... You can get you at least three ruffling the passer penalties at the worst possible time. Now, Mike Vrable, if this means that you're going to cut a boy to bring in Clay Matthews, please ignore everything I just said. Don't do it. Don't do it. But if it means that Clay can stick around...

Well, no. If you want to cut Taylor, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah, you can cut Taylor. That's fine. Yeah. He won't mind. Just don't cut the boy.

That's a terrible haircut. Who also had... Yeah, the peaky fucking Will Compton. I mean, Will, I get what he was doing because he unveiled the peaky blinders look after, but you got to do the peaky blinders look first. No, it was the big reveal. So then people... You know nothing about showmanship.

Dude, but the... This was boys being boys. This was a guy getting his... The haircut on its own, like I actually said to myself, did he cut his own hair? Yeah. No, he might have. Yeah, I think actually he did. It looked like...

I don't want to say it was a bull cut. It was more like a yamaka cut. It looked like when they were hazing Tim Tebow. Yeah, well, reverse. Yeah. Reverse of that. But it was that bad. It was pretty bad.

But... But hey. Yeah, don't cut that way. Also, Halloween was like two months ago. Who cares, man? It's called cosplaying. Whatever. Don't you know anything about cosplay?

I shouldn't be hating. Listen, his look was the definition of tough. When I saw that, I said to myself, I saw his Instagram, I was like, damn, he looks tough. I think you're legally allowed to kill somebody if you're dressed. If you got like a pocket watch hanging out. I couldn't pull it off. It's like... Definitely not.

You look like a bootlegger from the 20s. Yeah, no, he looked tough and real. And then I'd also like to bring... If we're talking about cheating, Devonte Adams' cleats are cheating too. Yep. Chris Collinsworth gave them the MVP. Get... So actually, you know what?

If you did have a vote, if this podcast had a collective MVP vote, I think right now we'd have to get behind Collinsworth. He is the pro football focus guy. That's true. So I'm going to trust what he says. His cleats that the MVP... Those are good. The Titans are not.

I don't know what else to say. It'd be fun if Traktor Cito got 233 yards next week. Got 2,000. I don't think he's going to get there yet. But we have the entire week 16 board to go down. We're going to go through all of the different playoff scenarios. Read the Magic Johnson tweet one last time. Which one?

Because you put another one out though. This is probably the one that you were talking about. That's why you don't even have to watch the game sports. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to win MVP this year because he and the Packers have been dominating all season from start to finish plus Patrick Mahon. Oh, there he goes. Talking about Patrick Mahon. Do the other one.

Do the other one. With the Packers having home field advantage in the playoffs, they will be tough to beat because of the cold weather and the snow exclamation point. That was the exact moment that I was worried about the Packers making a deep run. Yeah, they're going to be tough. As soon as Magic Johnson has figured out the key to the Packers' success and he just lets it out there like that and I'm like, fuck. That's amazing because I've spent all day today going over all the playoff pictures

and all the scenarios and the more I learn about it, the less I know about it. It's like the universe or the vagina and when Magic Johnson just comes out and he just spills the beans like that, it's like it was that easy all along. Yeah, I've been reporting this for six years and he just tweeted it. Isn't that what was that? Yeah, that was about one of the Trumps. Yeah, he just went and he tweeted it. That was one of the first times that Donald Trump was definitely not going to be president

anymore back in like 2016. Oh, he just went and tweeted it. All right, let's get to the rest of the week. 16 slate. We're starting. We're going back in time all the way to Christmas Day Vikings 33 Saints 52. Whew. It never even felt that close.

No. When you said that the Vikings scored, how many points? 33. You see, if you had asked me offhand how many they scored on Christmas Day, I would have said like 10 points. The quote of the game was in like the first quarter, I want to say it was. Troy Aikman just straight up said this Vikings defense isn't really good. So when you when you have an announcer just admit that straight up, you know it's going

to be a long day for them. And Alvin Camara, six touchdowns. I started him or I was going up against him in 19 of my 24 fantasy championships was so bad. Ruin my Christmas. But yeah, the Saints like this was this is the Saints recipe. And I know obviously the Vikings defense is that bad. So you can't be like, Hey, just score six rushing touch seven rushing touchdowns.

Right. Because Jason Mill had one. Got six. Jason Hill came in, pulled one away. And that's one of those situations where when you're watching the game, you know that Sean Peyton is trying to get somebody paid with that touchdown. Yep. He's a big like I can see why players want to go play for him because he's like his

own little mint down there. He's like his own little bank where if he knows that one of his guys is standing to get like some sort of incentive in his contract, Sean Peyton will get that guy paid. Oh, yeah. Owners like up in the booth like, God damn it, Sean did it again, cost me like $500,000. But yeah, Sean Peyton, it was weird when he put Tayson Hill in for that touchdown, but then he made it up to everybody. But I wanted like a little reward for watching that game.

Like, give me a little bit of history, Sean Peyton. Right. Let me see some guy get seven touchdowns on Christmas Day. There should be a Christmas Day football game every single year. I know that's impossible because Christmas, unlike Blake Bortles, you know, it does move around in the calendar. Not the date. Well, we had a game on every single day of the week this year.

Yeah, it was great. But so it was great to have, especially because there was a lot of blowouts in the NBA. But the Saints, I'm a, you know, like an old record, I'm beating it to, I'm beating the dead horse. I don't want to get too far into it, but I still believe that Drew Brees is what holds back. He looks, he definitely looks limited. He's got a lot of yards, but in the first half, he had a couple of throws.

He had, you know what he had? The head scratchers, the head scratchers and I, the, the Saints are really, really good football team. It's just, and I'm not saying Drew Brees can't just like have a month where he throws back time, takes a couple of shots and all of a sudden he's back to old Drew Brees. But there, it feels like we're just heading on a collision course to a big game where Drew Brees needs to make like five to six huge throws. And it's just not exactly the same as it used to be.

If the Saints can play against those Vikings, then yes, they will win every single game because Mike Zimmer was just on the sidelines hating his football team. He usually reserves that sort of hate for, for his quarterbacks really. But Troy Aikman's hate of the Vikings defense is something Troy Aikman usually reserves towards like Doug Gottlieb or Skip Bayless firing off at the hip about something. But they're a really, really stinky defense. Really bad defense and Dan Bailey is still employed. I don't know why.

Still missing kicks. But yeah, the, the, the Saints are really, really good. The Saints are really, really good. I mean, we can, we, we can go through this because we're going to go through all of our playoff scenarios, but I absolutely put the Saints in Super Bowl contender like Tronch, whether Drew Brees can get them there. I don't know. But in the NFC, they are one of the teams.

NFC is kind of like weirdly loaded because who else is in your Super Bowl trench? Cause I feel like the NFC, the Seahawks, obviously the Packers, the Seahawks and I, I guess we can go to the, we go to the next game right now, but I guess if the Bucks could play the Lions every, every day, if the Bucks could play the Lions in every round of the playoffs, they are my prohibitive Super Bowl favorite. Yeah. I mean that it's a major asterisk game because they, you could count that as a flip the switch game for the Bucks offense or know what, I don't, I don't know what it was, but everything

finally clicked for this Bucks offense. Yes. They were firing on all cylinders. They got involved. They got Antonio Brown involved. They got Mike Evans involved. Everything Leonard Farnett looked like he had two working legs and a soul this week. I don't know what it was, but something about that offense this week.

Matt Patricia must have been sitting at home just like firing up his own little old takes exposed Twitter account. Just like retweeting everybody that was talking shit about his defense earlier in the year because say what you want about Matt Patricia and I will, and I'll continue to do so in the future. Yes. But at least he was a coach on defense. Well, they didn't have coaches.

Yeah. No one coached the same. They didn't actually have coaches. It, we had two weird COVID situations, the Browns wide receiver core and the Lions coaches. They had, who was it? Evan Rostine. And there was someone else who was coaching that was like, what, what is going on right now?

I was shocked to learn that the Lions had coaches. It kind of, it was kind of like a, a choose your own adventure. Like what would happen if you had to coach an NFL team? Right. Well, you'd lose 47 to seven and the only touchdown would be a kick return. Yeah. Well, at least we got to see like a little Mizzou off at the end. We got Chase Daniels.

And Blaine Train. And Chase Daniels just, he's not meant to be playing. He's meant to just be chilling. You pay Chase Daniels $6 million a year to be a good dude, like a fun guy to hang out within the locker room. He's a locker room guy. Yeah. So that's the mystery of the team.

You don't pay Chase Daniels $6 million to go out in the field and play against the box. No, you don't. So my question to you is this is the Bruce Arians did the right thing by benching Tom Brady at halftime. Tom Brady had 22 for 27, 348 yards, four touchdowns in one half of football. They were just scoring whenever they won. We even had robot Gronk, which was fucking sick.

I think it's actually more insulting to bench your quarterback at halftime than less insulting. But it is the right thing to do in sportsmanship and be like, Hey, we don't want to get injured. We also don't want to run out the score too much, which by the way, this over was an absolute travesty. If you had this over, I apologize. That was just two overs in that, in that stadium in two weeks, the, the Mac championship game in this game, where it was two extra points missed and also a field goal. When a team scores 47, the over should hit.

That should be in law. Like if I were president, I'd make that a law. If team scores 47 in the NFL, the over hits, no matter what, why not take out some of your defensive stars too? Yeah. Like be consistent on both sides of the ball. Be like, Hey, if you're still watching, at least I'm going to treat you to a few points. Right.

But don't you think it is like it's sneaky, more insulting to be like, Hey, we don't need our starting quarterback for an entire half of this game. Yeah, absolutely. And as a, as a viewer, I tuned in to watch Tom Brady play. I've seen Blaine Gabbard play the Blaine train was electric. One for his first pass was a touchdown pass. Yeah. I think that my biggest takeaway from this game is kind of like it's gone along with

a story of the lion season, which is, I feel bad for Matthew Stafford. Yep. He got hurt again. He's a tough guy. And I, I'm just spending most of my energy when it comes to the lion's thinking about where I'd like to see Matt Stafford go, like a list of teams that Matt Stafford could not turn into a contender. All we can make contender.

It's pretty much the lions and the Falcons because no one can really work magic with the falcon. Maybe the jet. Jets are two and oh, and the Jets are the hottest team in the NFL right now. Yeah. But yeah, I feel like Matt Stafford next year, I want to see him go somewhere fun, somewhere where he can, you know, he can thrive for a little bit. He, but the problem with Matt Stafford is he did sign that long term deal with the train.

I don't know how many years he has left. And I kind of respect that. Like I know some people be like, well, he's not a winner because he, he signed on to be with this terrible organization. Sorry, lions fans. But I like, I respect like, dude, just get your money, have your life, maybe, you know, put up a hall of fame career in my eyes stat wise, but the box, let's talk about the box real quick.

So the box first time in the playoffs since 2007, that was the second longest playoff drought, the Browns being the longest. So it's crazy 2007. Who started that game 2007 for the box that against the Giants Giants won the Super Bowl that year. Phil Sims, Jeff Garcia. Oh, really? Jeff Garcia started that game for the box.

And it also was the last time that John Gruden went to the playoffs, which we'll talk about John Gruden in a minute. That was the start of John Gruden just collecting quarterbacks. That season that he brought in like Jeff Garcia, he brought in Jake Plummer, who I think was there for like two weeks and was like, I'd rather go play handball. See you. But yeah, that was, that was the end of the one Super Bowl Gruden dynasty in Tampa. Yes.

And so, so the other stat, which is crazy just to even like see it written out is that the box made the playoffs for the first time since 2007. And the Patriots missed the playoffs for the first time since 2008. Tom Brady is a playoff machine. That is crazy. Yeah. That's that. I mean, that's nuts to think that it's been that long.

Honestly, like for the box, it doesn't feel like it's been that long. Yeah. I don't think of the box when I think of like the biggest losing franchises, but you forget that the Rex Ryan years in New York were actually not bad. Well, it kind of, it kind of, it kind of like proves what one Super Bowl can do for a franchise because you're right. You don't think the box losers, but the box really are losers with, you know, they're losers and then they had a five year stretch where they were winners, but like they were

really, really bad for a really long time in the creamsicles. They've been really bad pretty much this is the last 15 years, but they're back in the playoffs. Happy for a Bucks fans. Steven Shea. That's pretty much who we're talking about. Shout out, Steven. You're listening right now.

Hopefully we did the ads correctly. I'm happy for you. I still don't believe in the Bucks fully because I don't think that they can just flip the switch. They, it still feels like a team that you're going to like, we're going to, we're going to watch a playoff game and they're going to struggle to move the ball and you're like, how is this happening? Like they have all of these guys.

The Bucks are going to get to play against probably an NFC East team in the playoffs. Yeah. But if they have to play the Saints, they're in trouble. They're in trouble. They have to play the Packers. They have to go if the, yeah, if the, if the Bucks have to go to Lambo and his Magic Johnson taught us in the playoffs in green Bay, it's actually going to be very cold and possibly also snow.

That's going to be an issue for Tom Brady who says that he will never move back up to the Northern United States. Right. So, uh, credit to the Bucks. So first time since 2007, that's awesome. Any playoff drought that gets eliminated is, is cool. And then the Lions. Yeah.

I don't know. Um, yeah, that's, it's bad. It's tough. Have they, have they said who they're interviewing yet? I know some teams are starting to do the thing where they, they tweet out who they, they've just completed an interview with. I liked that when teams get me posted on that. Yeah.

Like every team in the NFL so far that has a coaching vacancy, I think has interviewed Marvin Lewis. Yes. Yes. Marvin Lewis is a hot name for some reason back on the streets. Very hot. I probably because of Marvin Lewis, Marvin Lewis is putting his own name out there. Hugh Jackson is probably putting his name out there.

He's bringing, he's bringing Hugh Jackson with him. It's a package. I, I don't understand why interim head coaches, Darrell Bevel had the one game bounce, the dead cat bounce where an interim head coach comes in, does well for a game. They beat the bears. If I were an interim head coach, I would, you pretty much they always win their first game because guys just try really hard. I'd just fake a heart attack after that and be like, yeah, go out on top, have them carry

me off and then just be like, I'm out. I'm out. I'm wanting to know as a coach. I'm out. Yeah. Jim Tomsula should have quit after the first game. Jim Tomsula doesn't quit anything though. He's wanting to know.

Yeah. So yeah, I think that what teams should do is they should just stick with a hot hand when it's interim head coach. It's like, if you won your last game, boom, you're in, or just cycle them in and out. Like there's nothing to stop the lines from, it's pretty much what they're forced to do at this point. Right. Just like having new coach every week, a celebrity coach, have kid rock, have M&M.

I like that. Detroit Don. Detroit Don could get, Detroit Don is an analytics guy. I sat with him for a game. He was crunching numbers left and right. He was just like, we're fucked. Yeah. No, he was opposite.

Which is actually very smart. He was like, we're statistically, we're, we're back in this thing when they were like, five and nine or five and eight. And he's like, listen, if we win this one and then we win the next one and then the next one and then a bunch of teams lose, we're back in this. Yeah. It should be a fuck a fan contest pretty much where it's like the season ticket holders are now eligible to become head coaches for one game, one week, the caller with the strongest

take on local sports talk radio should get the opportunity to put his money where his mouth is. That's genius. Get down on the sidelines. That's genius. The next Saturday game, the Amazon game, shout out to everyone who was probably pissed off because they didn't have Amazon Prime. What are you doing?

I, it is a sad realization when I realized that like my entire life is living in fear that there will be a game I gambled on and I cannot watch. Oh, it's the, it's the residual effect of army Oklahoma. Yes. Yes. So I, so I like people were treating like, dude, you probably don't have Amazon Prime because I'm a very staunch cable, cable, cable because I need to be up to date. I have every streaming app.

I have flow sports. I have Fubu TV or Fubo TV. I have fucking the Facebook live when I need to watch a game. I've watched games on shit that you don't even know exists, Pluto TV. I'm naming shit. Like I've watched games on all these things. What's the one that they're like Conkacath is always on BN, BN sports. Oh, I got BN.

BN sports is a big one. Yeah, dude, I got BN. Fuck yeah. I was watching Mexican soccer a few, few months ago because I had, I had money on the game. So the, I'll have, my life is just living in fear that there'll be someday I'll wake up, have action on a game and not be able to watch it. So yes, I had Amazon Prime. It was kind of weird.

It was just like, what'd you say about the host? The host was like, the best way to describe him would be like, he's, he's like a robot version of Chris Fowler or like, you know, ESPN has the machine that just crank out Reese Davis's one by one by one. He's like, if you left Chris Fowler in the Reese Davis machine for like two days, he's overdone. He's overdone. It's like, okay, this is too much tall, polished white guy, dark hair, sports casting in a

giant studio. Send him to Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. Call Bezos up. He'll buy him for half price. Yeah. He's the robot dog of the Reese Davis machine.

I agree with that. His name was Rhett. Yeah. Rhett. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, there was a glitch. No offense to Rhett, but his name's Rhett.

He seems nice. But yeah. Yeah. Rhett's coach had like seven head injuries and didn't know anything. And a computer chip. Yeah. And a computer chipped out like one of his professors at Syracuse had installed on him into like how to be a sports broadcaster.

That's what this was like. It was a weird experience. This is going to suck when Rhett is like, I've been at AWL since day one. Yeah. I mean, he was, he's shut out Rhett. He seemed like a nice guy. Yeah. He seemed like a nice guy.

Two T's. But yeah, it was also like, it felt like the right two teams to be playing in an Amazon game. Yes. Almost futuristic. They're both kind of like high tech and weird, like hot coaches. And they also like in the future in the NFL, everyone will share a stadium, which is what the Cardinals and the 49ers have been doing.

It's the we work of stadiums. Right. Yeah. Everyone's going to be playing games around the clock. We've disrupted the national football. Yeah. And a stadium in the clouds. Yeah.

But yeah. So the Amazon game, this is the future of, Amazon's going to buy the NFL. Eventually. Yeah. Like, don't get ready for this. You think it was a one off. It is not. Amazon is going to buy the entire NFL.

I mean, they'd be power move if they had the entire Sunday ticket. And there's so many people that don't understand streaming that watch the like they just got caught up on how to operate their direct TV remote last season. They just memorized what the Red Zone channel number is. They just memorized where to find their team every Sunday. They probably don't even use the entire Sunday ticket package. They just know the channel that their team is usually on and go to that. They're going to be so confused when everything is streaming.

Yes. Oh, yes. Very, very confused. All right. That's the game, though. George Kittle's back. I fucking love George Kittle. The hot mic when he said I fucking love the Bears.

This game was big for the Bears. Playoff Destiny. Let's talk, though, real quick about Cliff Kingsbury. Yep. Cliff Kingsbury. Are we sure he's good? No, we're not. I don't think he is.

I think we've established that I don't think he is good at all. Actually, I am sure that he's not good. It's kind of amazing when you look back at Cliff Kingsbury's entire resume and you realize like, oh, attractive people do really run this world. Like if you are a good looking guy and you can walk into or a girl and you can walk into a meeting and wow someone, you can fail upwards all the way. Cliff Kingsbury was 35 and 40 as a head coach at Texas Tech. He had two winning seasons out of six.

He was 19 and 35 in conference. And now you're probably saying, hey, big cat, like, OK, Texas Tech's hard to win at. Well, Mike Leach had 10 straight winnings, another very good looking guy. Tommy Tuberville went 20 and 17 at Texas Tech. I personally went nine and three, seven and two in conference, not to brag. Baylor game, eight, eight, eight, a little bit of a weed brownie, whatever shit happens. OK, so the Cliff Kingsbury like he's never been good. I don't get it.

No, it was very bizarre when they hired him and he was never like he was interviewed to be a coordinator. I think a couple of years ago, right? Yes. So he had a job as USC offensive coordinator and then they hired him. Right. His but his interviewing or his NFL experience comes from like doing one interview to be the offensive coordinator for an NFL team.

Right. That's his experience in the NFL. Then he comes to the league. He's not. He hasn't really won where he's been at. And this is honestly kind of what what I expect. But I feel like the main reason that I don't like the Cardinals is because they don't fit into what my identity of the Cardinals should be with Cliff Kingsbury.

Like their defense is too good. They're doing shows have done a great job. Right. They just kept them alive. But what I'm saying is like, I think I would appreciate Cliff Kingsbury more if their defense kind of stunk. And they were just in shootouts all the time and it reminded me of a big 12 game. Right.

So if they if they were giving up like 35 points a game, but their defense is like top 15, I think top 12. So it doesn't really jive with that identity that I have where I'm like, OK, I'm going to tune into a Cardinals game and just going to be a points fast. Right. And and so Cliff Kingsbury, not very good. The Cardinals needed this game. And on the other side of the sideline, Kyle Shanahan is incredible.

Kyle Shanahan is winning games with backups backups. CJ Bethard, who Billy said had swag, I'll give him that. I was wrong. He was right because I just needed the Niners to win again. Shout out, George Kittle. Jeff Wilson was like the third string running back. And I like Robert Saleh. It is Robert Saleh season.

Everyone's going to be talking about him. But that guy put Cliff Kingsbury in a fucking box, dude. And I'll tell you who the real MVP of this game was was Robert Saleh's hold back guy. Yeah, there were a couple instances where he got out on the field like 20, 30 yards and just got dragged backwards like he was in a bungee cord. Like he was trying to do some wind sprints with a parachute on his back. It was amazing. And again, we're not we're not like geniuses, football geniuses. We just like to watch it.

Good looking and right. Exactly. But it just feels like when you have Kyler Murray and Deandre Hopkins, your offense should win games against the 49ers who have nothing to play for in a bunch of back. Yeah. Well, Deandre Hopkins, I like how it's got to be Cliff Kingsbury, who's leaking out like Deandre Hopkins is not putting in the effort at practice. That's necessary, right, which is why we're not passing the ball. I think Deandre Hopkins is one of maybe like three or four players in the NFL that you don't really need a super high level of effort from them in practice,

because whatever it's like, Devonte Adams, Cleats, Deandre Hopkins hands, there's something weird about them that just makes them so much better than everybody else that plays that position. Agreed, agreed. All right. So anything else on this game? No, no, I don't think so. Amazon game is strange. Yeah. Honestly, it's pretty much what I expect at this game.

I took me like 15 minutes to get the closed captions off, which drove me insane. All right. How do you get closed captions on the Internet? I don't do that. I just turn it because I watch all my I watch every movie ever with closed captions. So you're like reading a book while you watch a movie. You pick you realize I started it completely defeats the entire point of watching a movie. All right. Here's what I'm going to say is I started it once I started

watching Peaky Blinders like five years ago, because you couldn't understand a word they said you realize, especially with like cell phone and you're watching. I have three TVs, so I'm watching two games underneath. You miss so much shit if you're just like passively listening. When you also have to do a little bit of reading, you pick up everything. So I'll stand by. I don't care. I watch every single movie. I call me old guy. I am whatever.

I watch every single movie now with closed captions because I feel like I pick up everything. That is really weird. I don't think it's that weird. I think there's more people come out of the woodwork and be like same. And I mean, again, I'm not like young. I didn't do this when I was 23. I'm about to be 36. I think it's too many words for football.

Football is a story. Well, no, I was saying for football, I turned it off for football. Yeah, but it was on because of the movie. You have to turn it on and on. Well, it's the only time I'm watching a game on football. You'll forget how to turn it off. And then you'll have to call over like your younger neighbor to see if they know I operate TV.

I tried and then I realized there was just a CC button. But yeah, no, I had it on for movies. The only time I watch a football game on Amazon is once a year until Amazon buys the whole thing. And then, yeah, back to movies. All right, Dolphins Raiders, Saturday night, Fitz magic. What a fucking that game was so boring. And then Ryan Fitzpatrick came in and it just everything changed.

And like both sides, he just something about him makes everything more fun and awesome. And it was chaotic and crazy. And I don't know what they do with to up. But I have a quote for you from John Gruden. So John Gruden was criticized for the end of the game situation where they don't score a touchdown. They leave Ryan Fitzpatrick like 15 seconds.

I have no problem with it because it's like you need basically what happened to happen. I don't a crazy play in a face mask. Otherwise, you're giving him, I don't know, like 45 seconds. I don't have a problem with it. But I know who does have a problem with it. And retrospect is John Gruden. Well, no, he doesn't. I guess he doesn't expect you.

No, because this is I actually agree with John Gruden. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't. Because they they scored too early against the chiefs and Patrick Mahomes killed them. So here's the part where John Gruden is like fucked in the head. His decision making is right there. He essentially compared Ryan Fitzpatrick to Patrick Mahomes. He said, we did that against Kansas City. Honestly, we scored with one one 15 left and Mahomes went down and beat us.

I didn't want Fitz Fitzpatrick to have the ball. He's a gunslinger. He's hot. That's all I can say. So he's just putting Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Mahomes. He's basically saying they're the same guy. OK, but if you score a touchdown, then you take the field goal. You take that off the table. What do you mean? So yeah, yeah, right.

But it's 45 seconds. Yeah. But he's saying he did. He did. He is right. He did the opposite earlier in the year and it burned him that way. I agree with what he said right there. But I bet you anything. John Gruden will never take another knee in that situation again. But he lost doing it the other way.

So that's how John Gruden operates is like he learns his most recent lesson. So he's using the lesson that he learned from the Chiefs against the Dolphins. Next time this happens to him, he's going to be using the lesson that he learned against the Dolphins against the next person. Probably right. He's going to score a touchdown. He's going to be sick to himself driving laps around Allegiant Stadium at night like he just beat the Chiefs. But he's just going to be like pounding the steering wheel,

listening to radar love and being like, God damn it, I didn't play football. I wasn't true to myself. I should have scored a touchdown instead of kicking a field goal. I agree with you there. And I think that John Gruden like that that decision. I have no problem with. Let's talk about everything else. John Gruden, like his offense was 0 for 10 on third down.

There were one for four touchdowns in red zone. He's now had two teams back to back years, start six and four, lose four out of five. Yeah, two times. I think back to back years. I think we warned you about this like a month and a half ago, right before this started. Like John Gruden, I feel like he is a coach. We're at the start of the year right after training camp. First of all, you're happy that he hasn't killed you during training. Knock it with me.

He's doing the knock on wood. If you're with me, he's doing that weird dance in the locker room where he does like the Macarena and then after about a couple of months, you're like, God damn, is this guy actually is he serious? This is what he's like all the time, right? Like all the time, all the time. And then you start to get like a little worn down. Plus you've got Derek Carr, who who is like a Theon Greyjoy, the way that I feel.

I feel bad for Derek Carr. I feel like every time something good happens to him, he gets his guts ripped out or his nuts chopped off the very next week and something bad happens to him. I just he he's kind of in my Ryan Tannehill, your thing with Ryan Tannehill, where it's like Derek Carr could play great. And I'll still be like, but it's Derek Carr. Yeah, it's Derek Carr. And eventually it won't it won't work out.

But so the John Gruden. So so like I said, four out of five, two years in a row down the stretch, he's 63 and 80 since his Super Bowl win. I don't understand. Like, why doesn't he get it's just because everyone likes him? It's crazy that he doesn't get any criticism for like this. This team, everyone was talking about the Raiders being like, oh, watch out for the Raiders, watch out for the Raiders.

They got a lot of pieces. Their defense isn't great, but they got a lot of pieces on offense. Well, your John Gruden's job is the offense. The best thing that happened to John Gruden was getting replaced by Jason Whitton when he left the booth, because then everybody was like, man, I really miss John Gruden. He knew what he knew what he was talking about when it came to football. And also every time he throws a spider two wide banana out there,

it's just fun to say. Yes. And it reminds us of Gruden. So yes, we like that. And we like him as a personality. Would I want him coaching my football team for ten million dollars a year? Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. But going back to Fitzpatrick for a second, I actually think

that Ryan Fitzpatrick should be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, I think he should be a Hall of Famer. Not just that memorable. Not just because the bust would be legendary with the beard in it. But because like he's provided so many great memories and so many weird things have happened in and around Ryan Fitzpatrick's body. So he could be like, OK, if he doesn't have the stats to get you there, we put in contributors to the game every year.

He should, if he's not a player, he should be a contributor to the game and get into the NFL. Absolutely. Absolutely. He I don't know what they do with Tua. It's very odd that you've benched your starting quarterback, who you drafted fifth overall twice now in like a month and a half. And Brian Flores is still like, yeah, Tua is our starter until we need to win the game. And then Ryan Fitzpatrick is play is coming into play.

And it like I was seeing some Dolphins fans make excuses for Tua. And obviously he's young. I'm not going to give up on him because of just this year. But it's crazy how much better the offense looks when he is when Fitzpatrick's in verse two. I think Kurt Warrant was a Kurt Warrant. Kurt Warrant was doing the game. He actually had the perfect explanation for it

that Tua is is waiting for guys to get Alabama open, not NFL open. Whereas Ryan Fitzpatrick will he'll throw to guys who are fully covered. Every year, he's used to throwing the guys who are Harvard open, which is double teamed. Right. So he like Tua is waiting for these guys to be streaking down the field wide open. It just doesn't happen in the NFL that way. And I don't know. I mean, he's Tua is like he's like a better version, a better learned version of Josh Rosen

at this point, where it's like his stats. If you just look at his stats, like, oh, my God, he's 75 percent. Yeah. Like, oh, wait, but it was for 70 yards and he threw the ball 20 times. I actually have no problem with it with what Flores is doing with the quarterbacks. I think it's it's interesting and it's definitely something that isn't repeated by any other coach. But I guess he's got a sense in the locker room

where he's just going to go with a hot hand, no matter what's happening. And it seems like neither Fitzpatrick nor Tua really have a problem with it. So it's like, why is this any different than any other position? Probably because the quarterback is generally the leader of your offense. Right. And it's good to have a rhythm going. But if neither guy like the best thing that you can have for Ryan Fitzpatrick is a quick is a quick pull for him and put in another guy when Fitzpatrick starts to do bad Fitzpatrick stuff, right?

Because when he's doing Fitz magic stuff, it's the best thing ever. It's like every drug combined into one and you're like, this guy can win. This is a dynasty of one that I can have as my quarterback. But when he starts throwing the really weird interceptions and fumbling the ball and it looks like the wheels are coming off, like having a guy that's able to come in there and not be awful is actually great. Yes, I think Fitzpatrick would probably admit like, yeah, sometimes I do some strange shit.

Sometimes they get fucked up in the head. Listen, when you strap yourself into the Fitzpatrick roller coaster, sometimes you're going to have to pull the lever and take a break. You can't ride that roller coaster. It's true for a season at a time. It's true. All right, I just looked it up. Two was 17 for 22 on Saturday night. How many yards?

Ninety 94. Yeah, that's insane. Yes, 4.3 yards. And he had a touchdown, which was really just a dump off to Miles Gaskin, who made a nice play. Yeah, I mean, they should honestly have Fitsie and two in there at the same time. Yeah, a double quarterback, like one right handed, one left handed. And Trent Duffer still thinks he's special. Who? Trent Duffer or Trent Duffer thinks that Trent Duffer will no,

Trent Duffer trains to us. So I actually I can I'm OK with him having his guys back. But some of the things he's been saying about to is like, what? I mean, to it looks OK. But he looks OK. I I'm firmly in the two will be OK. No, again, I'm not giving up on him. I don't think he looks OK, though, right now, like I don't think it

17 for 22 for 94 yards. And today's NFL is crazy. It's not no, it's it's actually like pretty tough. Ryan Fitzpatrick was nine for 13 for 182 yards. He threw it half the half the amount of times for double the yards. I also think that Fits plays so much better when he's uncomfortable that like if teams just sat back and again, I have no stats whatsoever to back any of this up.

So I mean, it's probably true because I'm saying it. But like when he's playing against a team that's like blitzing the shit out of him, he's taking hits, he's getting his head ripped off sideways. Like that last pass that he threw, I actually expected Ryan Fitzpatrick to complete that pass because his head was looking backwards. Yes, yes, it's when he's like when he's got too much time and he starts to get bored and like a dog that you leave alone.

And it just goes nuts and eats the door frames off your apartment because you're not at home. Like that's when Fitzpatrick gets into trouble and he tries to like create a little bit of chaos for himself. But when it's when it's tough on him, then he's really good. So yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe next game against the Bills, right? Yeah, maybe Fitzpatrick goes out there.

He's going to have like a good revenge quarter against the Bills. Well, he's not going to play as of right now or two is still starter starter. That's my point. Two is a starter. It's a very bizarre situation. We're not going to get this over in this in this Packers Titans game. It's going to be a travesty. Yeah, Titans stink. We talked about that.

That's time traveling for you. All right, Falcons Chiefs. Do you know that the Chiefs have 10 comeback wins this season? I did not come back when being just that they were down at any time losing at some point, but that does feel weird, right? It does. But I mean, that's what they did in the playoffs last year. Thanks for coming out, Chiefs. Yeah, thanks for coming out, Chiefs.

It's just crazy because they're that good, but they've been down in pretty much every single game. This game was weird because they they just looked bad against the Falcons. And Patrick Holmes did not look sharp. And then yet still they can flip the switch to get the ball down late. Patrick Holmes threw a pick that wasn't caught, which I know that sounds weird. But that's exactly what the play was, like it was a bad pass. It was an interception.

He just couldn't catch it. And then the Chiefs win. And I want to give credit to Raheem Morris because I looked it up. Dan Quinn, this is the same team. Dan Quinn, when he was the coach of the Falcons, five games, 32.2 points per game they were giving up. Raheem Morris has been coaching the Falcons for now 10 games, 20.9 points. So 12 points better.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yes, pretty same fucking guys change. And like they held the Chiefs to under 20 points. Dan Quinn is like an offensive guru. Oh, no, wait, he's actually like a defensive mastermind. Right. I've got to take about the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs are getting too cute with it. I think as a football, that fourth down call was the cutest thing you've ever seen.

I think they're too cute. They're playing too cute football out there. That's fake. And are they too cute to win in the playoffs? Like, I don't know. They used to be exactly the right amount of cute. But now it's like they've gone Anne Hathaway and all I need is an Emma Stone. Yep. And it's just overboard. I agree. Too much cuteness.

There is a little bit of cuteness that Andy Reed and his thong mask and Daisy Stewart's running around touchdown. That the two cute moment happened right when they did the fourth and one fake where Patrick Mahomes was running down the field as a wide receiver in a game that didn't really matter. I mean, obviously they got the one seed, but they could have won their last one of their last two. That was a two cute moment.

And I was like, what are you guys doing? Why are you even risking Patrick Mahomes getting hurt here? What fourth and one? Why not just run the football? Like what is going on? So I agree with you. Too cute. And also you're playing the Falcons. Why are you doing your best trick plays against the Falcons?

Well, the Falcons were getting exactly the right amount of cute. They were nailing the cuteness in the first half. Yeah. So the Falcons, they I think we both had this sense in this game that this was going to be a close one. This might be like a left down game for the chiefs because it's the Falcons. You go in against the Falcons. Yeah. They subwalk. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You expect to win this game by infinity points if you're the chiefs.

But they the Falcons, I guess they're showing they might be frisky. Might be frisky down the stretch where he remorse could get the head coaching gig. I don't know. You know how Arthur Blank, he works. He's like, this guy is in house. No, I know. He deserves it. He deserves an interview because he's gotten the Falcons

to a point where no one thought they would be. And that's just competent football. Arthur Blank is a big this guy knows everybody's name in the facility. They all seem to like him. True. Let's keep him around and see what seems like a likable guy. Travis Kelsey had broke the record for most yards in a season for a tight end. OK. 14, 16. Yeah. Now, what about Matt Ryan?

His George Kittle's record from two years ago. Right. And it should be his from this year. Correct. But he got hurt. Asterisk. Yeah. Big Asterisk. Matt Ryan is definitely the most sackable. The most sackable. There is one play today where he did like one and a half spin moves and it looked like a drunk man to like barrel roll out of an automobile.

Matt Ryan's entire like offense at this point is snap the ball. Look to try to throw to Calvin Ridley. Then look to see who who can sack him the least hard. Yeah. Yeah, it's the opposite of Ryan Fitzpatrick, who's like try to throw it to anybody and then run at the biggest guy that you see. Just who can who is who is going to not hurt me when we when they inevitably sack me, which happens like six times a game. Now, all the cute two cute stuff that we've said about the chiefs,

I still think that they're probably going to they're going to like walk to the Super Bowl. Well, I guess that's the bills. That's actually the only thing you could say about the chiefs at this point is I actually and in the two cute like it's kind of tongue in cheek, but I actually agree with you. But the chiefs, the only way they will lose is if they like sleepwalk for just a little bit too long. You know what I mean?

Like if they get caught just a little bit because they do kind of play this this wire act where it's like, oh, well, they'll just flip the switch and Patrick Mahomes will bail him out. And he does bail him out because he is the best quarterback by a long shot. But you could see that happening like if like, oh, shit, it's the second half. And I guess this is kind of stupid to even say the way they won the Super Bowl. They basically did this in every single game where they were behind. But eventually you can get caught.

It's like, oh, fuck, maybe we're oh, that interception did get caught. Now what do we do? We were saying earlier how it was a good thing that the chiefs lost earlier in the year to the Raiders because then they they got a little wake up call. They didn't have to worry about all the talk of 16 and 0 coming down the stretch. Yeah, I think the chiefs need to lose again. I think they need another wake up call. They hit the snooze button on the season, which took them into week 17.

I think they need to lose against the Chargers next week. And I think the Chargers could be. I think they probably won't start anyone. Yeah, but that I don't know. Does that count? Yeah, that counts. Is that still like a wake up call? Yeah, that counts. That counts. Who's the backup quarterback?

Let's find out. Chiefs backup quarterback. I don't think that you can Google it like, oh, no, Chad Henney. Chad Henney. OK, let's go. Chad Henney. All right. Yeah, no, I think they'll probably lose to the Chargers because they won't try and they'll sit everyone. All right, let's go to the next. Oh, PFT.

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Express you order online at express.com. OK, next up, Browns Jets. Oh, boy, so the Browns had no wide receivers. They had a walk through in the parking garage attached to their hotel. And it's like it was like 30 degrees this morning in New York City. They're in New Jersey, but 8 15 a.m. They had a walk through basically Baker Mayfield doing a break the ice with all the wide receivers that he had to throw to this.

There was a moment in time and we can laugh about it now, because let's just set the stage here. The Browns control their own destiny. If the Browns win week 17, the Browns are in the playoff. Doomsday scenario is not there in that case. The Browns hold it all in their hands. There was a situation where the Browns could potentially like go 11 and five and somehow miss it and be like, what the fuck happened?

No, the Browns can win and they're in. There was a moment, though, where it was the most Browns thing ever to be losing to the Jets, to have no wide receivers, to have the Colts up big on the Steelers and to have that 11 and five. Doomsday scenario be a very real possibility. Thank God the Colts ended up losing for the Browns' sake because the Browns can now still win and get in. But man, was that that was like almost the most Browns thing ever.

There was like a two hour window on Sunday afternoon where if you were a Browns fan, you were freaking the fuck out. Like you're just checking things off the list of everything that you've you've kept in like your worst case scenario binder for the last two weeks. And it's all happened in slow mo and it's all continuing to happen. You're like, this is we're just going to be fucked. Yeah, we're going to look back on that Raiders game that we played when it was like 11 degrees outside in the grapple.

And we're going to be like, damn, we should have won that game. Are you going to look back at another like the shit game with Lamar Jackson where you had diarrhea, you're going to look back on that and be like, if we had just got one more, then we would be able to control our own destiny. But you're right, the good news is like, I think you win in your end. Well, you know, it's it's it's official. They went in there and you do win in your end. But then most scenarios have you playing the Steelers the very next week.

That's the first round of playoffs. I don't think the Steelers are going to play. I don't think the Steelers are going to like try. Oh, you don't think so against the Browns. I think they've had so many injuries this year. Why would they risk because Big Ben is trying to get that title back so that he can be the most winning quarterback. I know first energy state.

I don't think Mike, I don't think he's going to let him. I don't think Mike, Tom is going to let Big Ben do that. Why would you risk any injuries in week 17 when you've kind of limped in like for the Steelers, if you're from the Steelers perspective, we could actually just do this, this these games in tandem. The only other note I had from the Browns Jets game is that you probably should extend Adam Gates. Yes, absolutely. When he's on the sideline, he's it's very funny to watch Adam

Gates on the sideline because much like Jason Garrett never really coached on the sideline. He was always clapping. Adam Gates is always reading a book. Yeah, he's just like he's like an old man at a baseball game, keeping score. I don't know what he's writing. He's the dude from the professor from the FSU game. Yeah, sitting up in the stands, reading a book in a blowout. I was going to say him. I was going to say he's like Johnny Moxon, reading Slaughterhouse five inside of his playbook from varsity blues. But whatever he's doing and by the way, he definitely owns what's it called

Infinite Jest. Yeah, he does get around to it and it's sitting in a prominent place in his house and he likes when people are like, oh, Infinite Jest. Like, yeah, you know, I picked it up. I haven't had time recently. I'm not saying this because I also have Infinite Jest and I also have never read it. But yes, that's what dumb people do is they buy Infinite Jest and they display it in their home. It's actually a genius thing. We should we should make a book that everyone's like, damn, this is this is a book. Like you want to talk about a book? This is a fucking book.

Like Ulysses, Ulysses is one book. I would say that Catch 22 is on that list. That one's short, though. You can read. No, no. Catch 22 is long. Oh, I'm thinking of what's the fucking holding coffee? What's that? Catching a ride. Catching a ride on that. That one's short. It's basically every book that you said you read in high school. It's got to be over like 500 pages because no one's reading a book over 500 pages. Let's be honest. So you buy it just to have it so people can be like, whoa.

And the best part about having Infinite Jest is no one's actually ever read the book. So when they come over and they see it, they know like they can't be like, oh, yeah, what's your favorite character from Infinite Jest? Because they also haven't read it. It's more just a mutual admiration of like we both consider ourselves smart people because we both possess Infinite Jest. He's got the unabridged works of William Shakespeare back there. He's got every Jane Austen novel.

It's the greatest fraud book of all time. It really is. I, you know, that that was a genius. That was a genius move to write a book that no one actually was going to read. But everyone respected as the smart guy book. But whatever he's reading on the sideline, it's it's fascinating to watch him during a game just like staring down into his own hands. Oh, game and it's worked. Listen, the Jets are hot, man.

The Jets are the hottest team in football going right now. And then can you imagine? Can you just imagine for one second the type of blitzes that Dr. He would have drawn up against a team with no wide receivers? Yes, I mean, these are like his two children going to head to head against each other. He probably sat at home like doing it in his mind. Yeah. Oh, we would have killed Greg. We actually killed him.

You know, all his weaknesses. Yeah. But so the Browns like that's a toss out game. You got everything in front of you. That game sucked. But you also got fucked by covid. It is crazy. Like the weird like the Broncos having to play with with the guy off the street. The Lions having to coach with no coach or play with no coaches rescheduling

some games, but not others, whatever. You got screwed, but it doesn't matter because you can win and get in. But let's talk about Colt Steelers because Colt Steelers was the these two games were basically like, you know, cousins or sisters or brothers. Like they were paired together in all playoff implications because Colt Steelers steel Colts were kicking the shit out of the Steelers. We even said out loud, we're like, damn, the Steelers are really, really bad. Like they we never seen a team go 11 and 0 to 11 and 5 and look this bad.

Then second half happened, their defense woke up. They decided to start bombing the down the field with Big Ben. He woke up and the Steelers all of a sudden, like they still can't run the ball at all. They actually there was a moment, I think at the end when they all they needed was one yard at like the midfield and they punted it because they're like, no, yeah, we can't get this yard. No chance. You know what? Tomlin's going to like watch that film be like, if you don't get if you can't get one yard, you don't deserve to win. Yeah.

And he's just going to tell the guys like in my book, you guys lost last week. That's how I can see the Steelers coming out next week and actually playing hard. Just running the ball the entire time, just being like, but it won't work. No, it's not going to work no matter what. But they're going to be like, we're going to run the ball and then four yards the first time he's going to get himself into as many fourth and one situations as possible. Next week, just to prove to himself like we can get one yard eventually and they probably won't be able to do it.

Like the Steelers, I tweeted out that they are they the worst 11 and three team in any sport in history? And I think they still might be. But the second half, the Steelers, they came back. I feel like the Mariners are coming years ago. No, somebody tweeted. I mean, the Mariners did start 11 and three and then ended up with 68 wins in the season. Yeah. Yeah.

So I think that team is probably the worst 11 and three team in the history of sports. And the Steelers might be second because like I don't I don't see the Steelers being able to win the playoffs. Maybe if they play the Browns at home, I maybe. So I don't know. They they are one of those since you just missed or stop dancing. They are one of those. Yeah, unbelievable that we live in a time where like there was a press release

being like I've decided for him for all my teammates and my team. I will stop dancing on TikTok on logos before. Well, our problem wasn't with the fact that he was dancing. It was with the problem that his dance sucked. Well, and he was doing a logo. It was a song. And getting everyone mad. It was a soft dance.

If it was maybe if it was like a kick ass team dance and got his team involved. Right. I did a mosh pit, then maybe that'd be sick. Like get the boys amped up and ready to go. Plain Renegade stands. Colin Coward has has seward careers for way less. Yeah, but he was like he was bouncing around like a rabbit on the midfield logo. In that case, like, yeah, I think you should probably switch to a harder dance. So I back to the Steelers like chances.

I they do feel very broken. But that second half, you're watching it. You're like, oh, yeah, this is the Steelers, their past rushes on fire. Their defense is playing lights out. Big Ben, they're actually throwing it downfield instead of not being able to run the combo of not being able to run and throwing only short passes really makes you a limited offense. So they were bombing it like he kind of had a little pep in his step.

I don't know. I I don't know what to make of the Steelers. I think they still could be frisky. I don't trust them. If Big Ben stops throwing passes that will get his wide receivers, spinal injuries, then, yes, that they could do something. But he's like, I don't know what it is about his passes this year. Yeah, he's been doing hospital like little floaters.

Yeah, he's been leading his guys into danger, I guess, with their defense. If their defense like fires it up, I I could I could see a moment where we wake up and it's it's like Steelers chiefs in the AFC championship game. The Steelers are like 10 point underdogs. Yeah, but I could if you have a defense that can play that well, I I'll give you a shot against anyone and the jerseys, the uniforms, right? And the jerseys uniforms and Big Ben like being like, oh, he's going to fucking, you know, one last ride with Big Ben.

I'm probably going to bet on the Steelers and the playoffs. They're probably going to break my heart and lose dramatically. But I don't there is something about him that you wouldn't necessarily be surprised if they won, you know, one or two games in the playoffs. But I mean, unless the chiefs are still sleepwalking in a month. I did you did you see the Tomlin quote? The grapes one. Yeah, it's my line between drinking wine and squashing great.

He's my baby brown of the week. Yeah. Yeah. He that's that that's a great quote. Is it a fine line? I feel like it takes months to make wine after you. Yeah, it definitely takes a lot of time. The Colts. Well, whoo, I was getting I was getting harassed online in the first half by Colts fans on the internet, demanding that I respect

the Colts as a true Super Bowl contender. They were like, look at these Colts, we can do it all. Guess what? The Colts are as of right now out of the playoffs. If the Colts don't get some help in Week 17, they will be out of the playoffs. They need the Ravens, the Dolphins or the Browns to lose for them to get into the playoffs. Put the banner up up 21 seven at half time against the Steelers in Week 16.

I mean, you can't like you got to win the game with with with offense, they didn't had no offense in the second half. And I love Phil Rivers, but this is when you have a quarterback that has negative mobility now, like if the past rush starts going, it's you know what I mean? Like they used to always be after the Giants beat the Patriots, the Super Bowl is like, well, that's the key. You just got to get you got to rush with four and you got to get home

and then you can beat everyone. Well, yeah, that's true. But now in today's NFL, like there are a lot of quarterbacks that can beat you even if you do get home because they have legs and they can move. Oh, Phil Rivers definitely has like the shortest clock in the pocket. He is his pocket clock is like two seconds. And if he doesn't get rid of it, he panics and he'll either take a sack or he'll just like immediately throw it out of bounds.

Calling him statuesque is actually like an insult to statues. Statues have more mobility than Phil Rivers at this point. Again, we love Phil Rivers. We've always been a Phil Rivers podcast. I want him to get back in the playoffs. And I'm conflicted because I think if we had to rank it, I think we both agree like Brown's getting the playoffs number one. You want the Browns to get in the playoffs?

Sorry, everyone else. But if I had to go number two, I think maybe Phil Rivers getting to the playoffs. I kind of want Phil Rivers in the playoffs. Yeah, I'd go. I'd lean Titans. OK, get the boy in there. I think they're in. Are they 100 percent? I think they're in.

I think it's between the Dolphins, the Ravens, the Browns and the Colts. I want the Browns to go in number one. I think I want the Colts to go number two because I do want the Colts. See, I want Phil Rivers to be in the playoffs. I want to see Phil Rivers in a playoff situation. I love Jonathan Taylor. Like I don't have any ill will against the Colts. What I've said about them all year, I think it's been very fair.

They're when they're playing with a lead, when they're like everything's humming and they can protect Phil Rivers, they look like a really good team. But it can it can kind of be like a house of cards pretty quickly. Titans are 94 percent in. So yeah, they're pretty much I think they're pretty much in. So yeah, Phil Rivers, that I don't know what like that was basically doomsday for the Colts that you have that type of lead. You're rocking and rolling.

You win and you're basically now you control your own destiny to what the fuck just happened. We lost that game. How did that happen? It did happen that quickly, too. It felt like we just like looked up and boom, the Steelers were winning the game. You think there was a halftime speech that Mike Tomlin gave or you think it was like a player's only meeting at halftime? I think I think Big Ben just walked in and was like, let's just fucking let's just go. I think he might have threatened to retire.

Big Ben might have been like, hey, listen, if we don't make the playoffs this year, I could honestly see Big Ben walking away from the NFL if they lost their last five games. If the Steelers went 11 and 0 and then ended up 11 and 5 limped into the playoffs lost, I could see Big Ben retiring like for he would retire for what he would say would be for good. Yeah. And then he'd probably come back in like early August and be like, I'm ready to strap it on one more time.

Do you know what it was? It's like it's like a parent taking away a cell phone from their kid, from their teenager and being like, I'm not going to give it back. He was doing that with the walking boot at halftime. He's like, I'm going to put it on. I'm going to put it on. And everyone's like, no, Ben, don't please. We really want to win this game.

He's like, if you guys don't start catching my fucking floaters, I'm putting this boot on and I'm going home. I mean, that would work on me. Yes. I'd be like Ben. We need I would like to see Philip Rivers and Big Ben both for at least one more NFL season. You give me give me that in the playoffs somehow, some way. All right. Bears Jaguars.

Bears kicked the shit out of the Jaguars. It felt good. Matt Nagy is officially coming back. I'm conflicted, but I do not care. The Bears scored 30 points, 30 plus points in four straight games. First time since 1965 to just like make myself feel like shit. The Packers have done that twice this year. Yeah, four game stretches with 30 plus points.

The Bears, the Bears offense is good. Like it's time to we played some bad defenses. I'm realistic. I'm being time to to face the music. And that's the fact that not only is Matt Nagy coming back, but Mitch Trubisky is going to be there next. I don't I don't know about that. I still don't know about that. I think that Nagy hates Mitch Trubisky.

And I think that that's more self-loathing where he just can't like vocalize that he hates himself. Matt Nagy, I'm talking about. No, you said to yourself that Matt Nagy is like the most emotional. Yeah, he's too emotional. I bet you Matt Nagy really feels bad for what he's done to Mitch. And he looks at Mitch's failure as being like a direct reflection of him as a coach and the only way that he can feel good about himself.

And finally, for him to be you again, is if you were to take Mitch and turn him into like an above average quarterback, which he's been the last couple of weeks. Listen, I I'm taking a realistic, pragmatic approach to this this week 17 and to everything that the Bears have in front of them. I don't think Matt Nagy is a great coach. I truly don't.

I mean, just the fact, I think I said this last week, but just the fact that Nick Foles started as many games as he did behind this offensive line should tell you that Matt Nagy doesn't know how to assess the quarterback situation. Mitch Trubisky is a far better quarterback in these circumstances than Nick Foles. That's just a fact. I'm happy for Mitch Trubisky. We still had an all-time Mitch Trubisky interception where I even said it out loud

because it was just the two of us all day watching games. And he when he turned and scrambled, this is like five seconds before he threw a touch the interception. I was like, don't throw this, Mitch. Another five seconds went by. More guys got more covered. He found the spot on the field where there were the most amount of players and then through it there.

I've never seen that many players in one quarter of the end zone in my entire You was playing 500. Yeah, there were probably like seven or eight players within maybe like five square yards of each other. And it was 500. He was throwing up like a jackpot. OK. And it was a bad. I don't even know what the concept of that play was because it looked like

the entire design was to flow to that corner of the end zone and then have Mitch do exactly what Mitch did. It was it was baffling. So I I'm not thrilled that Matt Nagy is coming back. It is what it is. There's nothing that you can do about it. I know the Bears are a flawed football team. They're flawed organization.

They're not a great organization. But if you have you told me week one that the Bears would be playing in a meaningful football game week 17 to get into the playoffs and be in the playoffs, I take it. And that's what being a fan is. I don't care about all the noise around it. I don't care about the flaws and the dysfunction and the fact that I think that they're broken going forward and they're going to have a hard time

like sustaining any time is type of success because they don't have a quarterback. They don't have a coach I trust all that garbage. Throw it out. They can get in the playoffs. They can get in the playoffs if they win in week 17 or maybe if they lose if the Cardinals lose too. But getting in the playoffs, like I know I've seen this like, oh, why would you want to get in the playoffs and get the shit kicked out of you

so that you get a better, you know, worse draft pick? What are you talking about? Being in the playoffs is all like that's what you root for for a fan. You start the season being like, let's get into the playoffs. Get a fucking seat at the table, right? Chippin' a chair, right? Unless unless you're like the chiefs or the Saints or the Packers. And it's like, well, what purpose is there for getting into playoffs?

Because it kicks ass and makes you feel like a winner. And it makes you feel knows makes you feel personally better about yourself. Crazy shit can happen. You know, what sucks worse than anything is having a team that you invest an entire year or more into and then having them not getting to the playoffs. And then you're like, well, that was that was a wasted year. If you do get into the playoffs, you feel great.

You feel great for at least a week. And then depending on how bad you get your ass kicked in the first round, then you might start to be like, once you sober up. So right now, like if you're if we're comparing this to a night out on the town, you're on beer number, like don't get coward on me, eight or nine. I'm not talking soup. I'm talking Bruce and you're on beer eight or nine. And you're fucking you're having the time of your life.

You're dancing like shout just came on. You took your shoes off. You're getting soulful with it out there. And then once you lose in the playoffs, that's when you take like you have the Long Island iced tea towards the end of the night and then you go throw up and you're like, I got to call a cab in the next day. Like fall asleep at the cab. Yeah, you fall asleep on the way home.

The Uber driver, he goes the long way and then your phone lose your phone. And then like you found out that you got broken up with overnight. You wake up the next day and you're like, shit, you know what? Probably shouldn't have gone for that extra round. But guess what? It was a fun night. It was when it was going. It was like, I agree. Yeah, you might even roll over and you're like, oh, I don't know who that is.

And then maybe you're surprised. Oh, it's Cody Park. I did a great job. You're dream smashed again. But then, yeah, it's that's why you root for a team is to make the play. Right. You root for the team to make the playoffs and there's there's two camps and people will say that I'm being a hypocrite, but I'm not. I'll explain it.

So I call out a lot of teams for I don't trust this team. I don't think they're Super Bowl contender. I don't trust the box. The bucks are better than the Bears, even though the Bears beat him head to head. Might I add the Bears are not a Super Bowl contender. But once you accept that, I'm officially in what crazy shit could happen. Yeah, I'm in crazy shit could happen mode. I'm in who the fuck knows crazy shit could happen.

The ball bounces your way for four straight games. Who the fuck knows crazy shit could happen. Let's just have fun. Enjoy the ride. Is there a more likely than not chance that the Bears get absolutely face fucked in the playoffs? Of course there is. I would almost put my life on it, but I don't care because I'm going to be

rooting for crazy shit to happen. And that's the fun of it. Now week 17, I'm very, very nervous because I didn't realize until that fucking dork came on NBC and told me that the Packers actually do, in fact, have to play for the one seed that like ruined my entire mood. Because now Aaron Rodgers is going to play and Aaron Rodgers, he personally loves to kill the Bears. He loves to do it.

I know it. I can tie. I can sense it. Everything he says, everything he does. I'm very nervous about week 17. Yeah, I would be too. But it's not prime time. Listen, you're rooting for crazy stuff to happen.

Crazier stuff has happened before. Like it would not be, it would not shock me. It would surprise me. It would probably make me a little concerned for your well-being. Just thank God it is not a prime time game. Yeah, that's all I was rooting for is for it not to be prime time because then it wouldn't even have been a choice and it gets lost. I know this is kind of loser talk,

but I've spent all day going through all the situations. If the Rams beat the Cardinals, it doesn't matter. The Bears would be in the playoffs. So and I think those games will happen concurrently. So we don't know. I think that I think the Rams need to sign Blake Bortles. Get him back up because right now they're going to go with a guy named Wilford. Wait, is golf officially out?

Golf is probably out because they dislocated his thumb and it might be broken. But Big Cat, they can still sign Blake Bortles right now. He's on the back of the squad. The Rams need to win to make the playoffs. How amazing would that be if one week you've got George Kittle coming back? How would George Kittle get signed to be the quarterback for the Rams? George Kittle comes back. He's like, I love the Bears.

I did this for Big Cat. And then Blake Bortles goes to the Rams. He knows that playbook front and back. That's all that guy did when he was in Los Angeles was he studied football. He lived it. He breathed it. And he comes back to the Rams, beats the Cardinals to get you into the playoffs. And then in his post game, he's like, I love the Bears. I like what you're saying.

It can happen. I like what you're saying. Crazier stuff has happened. Why not? Why not? But yeah, good for you for not getting the primetime slot. That would be a nightmare for whatever team has to be. Yeah, we'll get to that. All right, Giants Ravens.

The Giants are somehow still alive, somehow, some way still alive. And we like this game was on. We had all six games on. But I feel like I didn't watch any of this game because the Ravens were just kicking the shit out of the Giants from literally the beginning. The Ravens, you know, the Ravens have rushed for 100 plus yards in 38 straight games. That's insane. Yeah, it makes sense. That's insane. They make the opposite seal.

So it's drag racing. It makes sense. I don't know. It's better that than the than the ambulance. Well, we'll get the ambulance sirens a second after these guys. But the Giants were it's really a game that they like expected to lose anyways. Yeah, no, there's still no harm, no foul for the Giants. The Giants are very much alive in the NFC beast right now. But I actually think that this is it's good that the Ravens aren't taking up too much of the air right now for the Ravens,

because having zero expectations going into playoffs is probably a good place for them to be. I don't know how it goes the other way. I think I think the Ravens officially have become the team. No one wants to play. Oh, yeah. Well, I think they're the team that no one wants to play. The team no one's talking about. We cast them off and now I think they are officially the team.

No one wants to play in the playoffs. I really do, which is a scary team. It looks like they might be playing probably the Titans. This is going to make no sense. And Ravens fans, we've had our back and forth. But I believe in the Ravens a far more this year than last year. I think last year, one seed, all the hype in the world, MVP. How can you beat this team?

Oh, they lost the Titans by a billion at home this year. No one wants to play them. They're hot at the right time. I think the Ravens could beat the Chiefs. I think it's the Ravens. Who knows? The Ravens and the Bills. Who knows?

Are the two teams that I would have. This would be a fun playoff. That can actually beat the Chiefs. Yeah, it's going to be fun for sure, especially like depends if the Chiefs get into Chiefs mode from last year and start like, they get woken up every game. That's what happens with the Chiefs and they just go down like by 10 points and then up winning 50 to 10.

If that doesn't happen again, if they are like a more down to earth team than yeah, the Ravens and the Bills are the two teams that can beat them. But I I would also be a little bit afraid if I were the Ravens about playing the Titans. I just feel like I feel like there are scars there. Yeah, no, absolutely. I just they're the team. No one wants to play the team.

No one wants to play. All right. Bengals, Texans, who cares? Who cares? Brandon Allen. Good game. Every like the Texans have done a nice thing for the NFL where if you play them, you look awesome and you might be able to get some money.

Like Brandon Allen looked awesome. Yeah. Texans defense is that bad. JJ Wad is making sportswriters bust a load with this post game speech that he gave. What he said? He was talking about how like you if you're a pro in this in this league, how can you show up to work and not lift hard and not study hard

and not practice hard when you've got guys coming up to you on the street and saying, hey, we're still here for you. We still love you. Still going to root for you on Sunday. He wasn't wrong about anything that he said, but it made every sportswriter just like bust a severe sticky, the stickiest of the nuts into their own under into their own trousers. But the only takeaway that I had besides JJ Wad's post game

was that the Bengals, the Bengals might be saving Zach Taylor's job. Yeah. Oh, no, I think they I think it's officially done. It's saved there. They did Bengals. The Bengals might be getting themselves into watch out. No. Yeah. Offseason Dark Horse. Like, look how they finished the season.

Oh, they've added a, you know, top five pick. Joe Burrow is going to be back like they might be people might be talking about the Bengals. I think if Joe Burrow's injury had happened like a month before, then without a limb, he's walking without a limp right now. He's looking good. But I feel like he's probably he might not start at the beginning of the season, in which case they wouldn't be the surprise team. They would be the team like they might get hot and watch for that team.

Every year there's a team that finishes strong. It's the Jets. Yeah. Watch out for the Jets next year. Zach Taylor's job. Yeah, I think it is safe. The fact that he won these last couple of games is huge, but just like the Bengals ownership, they don't like coaching searches. It's expensive. You have to fly guys in and out of town, set them up in hotels.

They just got like a practice field two years ago. Right. So they don't want to go through that whole thing again. They're not. They are what we call cheap. Yes. A cheap organization. All right. Before we get to the next one, PFT. Have you been driving recently? I have been driving.

You have. I've been driving. I've been driving and making sure that I'm sober when I'm driving, especially around the holiday time around the holidays. NHTSA, NHTSA, they're warning you drive sober or get pulled over from December 16th through January 1st. This is I'm talking to all the people on New Year's. You might be driving to a friend's house. You might be on the roads.

Don't drink and drive no matter what you do. Make sure that you're sober. Make sure that you have a sober ride. We want all you guys to get around safe during the holiday season. Drive sober or get pulled over. Law enforcement officers across the U.S. are increasing their enforcement on impaired drivers. They're giving you heads up.

They're telling you they're going to be there. Like, hey, guys, we're going to be out on the roads. We're going to be looking for you if you've been drinking. There's no excuse to drink and drive, drive sober or get pulled over. If you feel different, you drive different. So don't don't drive buzzed. Don't drive high. If you drive high, you get a DUI drive sober or get pulled over.

We want all the A.W.L.s to have a happy and safe holiday season. That means getting a safe ride somewhere. That means passing up on the drink if you're going to be driving. So be safe out there. Look after each other. Don't get a DUI. Don't we will be personally disappointed in you if you get a DUI. And also we're ban you from the show.

Here's what will absolutely suspend you from the show and a fun little fact. Maybe 10 years down the line, if one of your friends is getting married and they're going on a bachelor party up in Canada, you won't be allowed into Canada. Because if you have a DUI, a lot of times they won't let you go visit Canada. They won't let you into the country. If your buddies are going to Montreal for God knows what, you might be turned away at the border. Didn't happen to me, but it happened to a friend of mine.

So be safe out there. Look after each other and get home safe. OK, next up, Broncos Chargers. Also, who cares? Who cares about this game? Jerry Judy. You, I'ma say something nice about Drew lockdown. Jerry, Jeri, Jeri Judy, fucked over,

He 15 targets, six catches. He dropped like a couple easy ones. Can't do that when Drew Block is having hard enough time. Now I'm say mean about near having hard enough time completing passes. you can't be dropping them and Vic Fangio's back. So I liked hearing that because I do think he's a good, well, he's not a great head coach, but I think he is. No, we've established that.

Yeah, no, he's a great defensive head coach. Incredible defensive coach. Kind of stinks at offense. But that's okay. Kind of stinks at some of the other stuff. And I kind of, I like teams giving their guys at least three years. I think two years is always a little like quick.

Yeah. Three, you kind of know what you got. There's sometimes where it's the second year and like, you know, you can, you can tell for sure sometimes after that second year. Well, I mean, that was Mark Tressman. Yeah, Mark Tressman, you knew, you knew, you didn't want him back to like give him more time to implement his system.

But they haven't, they, unless you, unless you are at the helm of an absolute clown show like Mark Tressman was, like Vic Fangio, they've had some injuries. They haven't been a clown show. They've been competitive in games. They haven't had any internal fighting. So yeah, why not keep him, keep him for another year. Yeah, sure.

Bring it back to the chargers, by the way, have put together a couple of wins. The chargers have looked like sneakily competent, which they almost lost this game. This was a game where you looked up. I even said that out loud. I was like, what the fuck just happened? Because the chargers were in cruise control.

And then all of a sudden you look up and they need a drive to win the game. Also, McManus had the double, the new double doink. Yeah. He doinked back to back. He doinked, there was a five-year penalty, re-kick, doinked again. That's very rare.

It's almost impossible to do. I said this off the same post, right? Yeah, I tweeted this and you got tagged a lot of them. I said, I fucking hate all kickers on Saturday, I think. There's something about watching nonstop football for like five days straight, where it just feels like every kick is missed. No, your kickers are the worst.

You just remember every kick. We are awful people. We're terrible human beings. We think that we've got a very important job and we get paid a lot of money to do it. If you were to make a football team, they would pay you a lot of money. And yeah, we suck.

All of us suck. Every kicker, except for Justin Tucker, sucks. Pretty much. And sometimes he sucks, too. He was Young Ho Koo. He was awesome. And then he sucked it in. What was it?

Young Ho Koo? Young Way Koo. What's his name? Young Way? Young Way? Bubba? Young Way. I thought it was Young Ho.

It's Young Ho. Whoa. I think it's- I was right. I don't know. Am I pronouncing it? I know how it's spelled. I get that.

Is it Young Way? I think it's Young Way Koo. Oh, well, I'm a phonetic speaker. You are. You're a big reader. On closed captioning, it says Young Ho. Is it Young- Young Way, I think.

Well, this is why Jake can't take any days off. God damn it. That's how you say it. But yeah, the bottom line is every kicker sucks. We all suck. Occasionally, we'll kind of wake up and have a good moment, but it's just like pauses in or sucking

that take you out of that focus. So I agree with you. Kickers suck. Young Way. Young- Oh, I guess I've been saying it wrong. My bad. My apologies.

Let's see if Jake Marsh is awake. Face time. Wow. If he doesn't get this right away. Cause I mean, I'm an idiot. And I don't pretend. I can't fucking say Alvin Camara's name. Is it not Camara?

It's Camara. And I always, I get in my own head. I'm like, don't say. Hey, how do you say the kicker from Atlanta's name? Young Way. Okay, I say Young Ho. So agree to disagree. Yeah, it's definitely Young Way.

Yeah, but I say Young Ho. So agree to disagree. Agree to disagree. Okay. How do you say the running back for the chiefs? Clyde Edwards, E-Lair. Okay, nice. All right.

Thanks, Jake. Wow. Why did you, what, you pronunciation shamed me? No, it just, it sounded at first, like you said, Young Ho Ho. Cool. It sounded like you were trying to pronounce endemic in Sue's name in Piglet.

That one I can't do either. And yeah, but you were right. You're right about the kickers. Listen, I'm not gonna be the guy who's out here trying to pretend like kickers are cool just because I have kicked something in my life. They suck. We suck on behalf of all kickers.

And you know what? We're not gonna apologize for sucking. That's fine. That's just what we do. I don't need an apology. I just wanna say it. And just, I just wanna say it. I don't need an apology.

Actually, I'd actually prefer not to get an apology. Yeah, because guess what? Because then I'd have to be nice. If kickers apologize, then we wouldn't suck. Yeah, well, and I'd also have to be like, oh, you apologize, I feel bad. All right, next up. Panthers, Washington football team, whoops.

Yeah, you know what? We control our own destiny. That's true. Okay, I got a statistic for you. Yeah? Five. You know what five is? Five wins away from a Super Bowl.

There you go. Five wins from a Super, we win five games. That's all we gotta do. Same with Bears. Bears have won, well, I know you lost six games in a row. You haven't won five games in a row this season. To start, what was that? Five in one.

Five in one? Correct. So it could happen. We just have five wins. No, it can't. Five wins to go and we're there. Today was awful. Today was like Dwayne Haskins.

He's so bad. He might be the worst quarterback in the NFL. Well, he's bad and hateable. I'm talking about starters. I'm talking about backups. Yeah. He's bad, he's hateable. But hold on, he probably should get his captain seat back

because him walking out there to support Heineke, which was very bizarre. I was like, is he coming back in the game? You know what I think he did? I think he was trying to do the thing where he was like, you know what, if you're the real starter, you can run out into the field and take your spot back. And if they believe in you,

then Taylor Heineke will agree to go to the bench calmly and let you throw for that like fourth and 18. I think he was trying to sub himself back in. And Heineke, a guy that we just pulled off the practice squad last week was like, no, go sit back down. He's like, yes, I will, I will go sit back down. He stinks.

Dwayne Haskins, he is very bad. I would rather have Heineke. I would rather have Josh Johnson. Anyone. Mark Sanchez. Anyone. All of these Washington football team watchers. Yeah, hell yes.

Give me PJ Walker. Yeah, the dude. I would rather have Alex Smith on one leg, not allowed to use his second leg. Jack Prescott on one leg. In a rascal scooter, motoring around there. Yeah, no, you. Dwayne Haskins.

He looks so bad in the first half. As someone, you know, my team is kind of fucking kind of an offensive juggernaut as of late, but as someone who's watched some very bad offensive football, it's not your fault. It's the worst. It is the worst thing to watch a defense be so goddamn good and the offense just not help whatsoever.

Chase Young is so good that I'm shocked when he doesn't get a strip sack. Yeah. I'm like, what happened? Why didn't he get a strip sack on this point? It felt like a disappointment in the first quarter when he didn't get much pressure. And then he starts like making a name for himself

in the second quarter. But yeah, it's like, what happened? How did they make Chase Young disappear? The defense is fucking dominant. I wish that there were a way for Chase Young to play quarterback also and to have all those guys on the line be like offensive linemen at times. Maybe, you know what?

Put Logan Thomas in a quarterback. Yeah. He got drafted by the Cardinals to be a quarterback. He would not have been worse than Dwayne Haskins was. And the football team's not built to come from behind. We're not. No. And you were more meant to observe from behind,

much like the pictures of Dwayne Haskins that surfaced. You go backwards whenever you need to go forwards. Yeah. I've noticed that because I've watched too much watching football team. We can throw for like two yard gains. No, but every time you need like that play that Dwayne Haskins came out to kind of pump up

between Taylor Heineke. I think it was fourth in goal from like the 20. Yeah. You guys always go backwards in crucial spots. We do. Heineke looked good coming off the bench. So I feel like it's got to be Heineke. Granted, it was against probably a very soft,

prevent defense at the time. But he looked OK. He looked way better than Haskins. You need to, you know what you need to do is you need to, the Washington football team needs to like treat week 17, which is Sunday Night Football, which is scary. So the NFC East is crazy because the Eagles, or sorry, the Giants and the Cowboys play.

Winner of that game can go in the playoffs if the Washington football team loses. So one of those teams can go to the playoffs at six and 10 if the Washington football team loses. I think the Washington football team should treat week 17 like a bullpen game. They should just be throwing the quarterbacks out there for drives at a time and be like, whatever happens.

Yeah, like if he gets hot, he stays. If they punt, next guy. And just be like the Tampa Bay Rays. Yeah, absolutely. Why not? Why not? I mean, listen, I am not opposed to any of these things. I think we have any number of options

who are not named for Haskins. The whole time. Yeah, dude, run Chase Young out of the Wildcat. Probably be better. He's got good ball security. He'll be fine. I think also if I'm the Eagles, I'd probably bench Jalen Hertz in week 17,

throw Carson Wentz out there. Oh, you don't want that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why? You got to see what you have in the future for Carson Wentz. He might be the guy. No, no, no, no, no, no. You think Carson Wentz comes in

and plays the game of his life? This game Carson Wentz plays will be his best game ever. I don't think so. Whether it's week 17 or week one next week, he has so much pent up, like everyone doubts me, everyone hates me, I'm gonna ball. You do not want Carson Wentz playing that. I think that Carson Wentz comes in

and plays the most Carson Wentz game of the world. No, if he plays in this game, I think he sacks himself into the pylon. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. If he plays in this game, he will be lights out. All right, well, maybe I did.

Now you're starting to make me doubt my own coping mechanism. I don't, you do not, cause he has so, he is, think about it this way. Like the Eagles have nothing to play for. Carson Wentz has everything to play for. You don't want that. Like that's actually, is that a possibility?

He's hurt, right? Is he? I think he might be a little banged up. Like you do not want the guy who got benched who now is playing for every, he's playing for his future. You don't want that PFT. No, no, no, no. All right.

Well, Hertz, Hertz scares me more than Carson Wentz. I think Hertz is obviously like a much better quarterback right now than Carson Wentz. I don't think that, here's the thing, big cat. I don't think that Carson Wentz's attitude right now and his like, his will is the problem because Carson Wentz has been trying very hard for the last year.

It's just that the more he tries, the worse he gets. Yeah, but I, like Carson Wentz plan when he's cool as a cucumber. You want Jalen Hertz in this game? You want Jalen Hertz in this game? Because Jalen Hertz is like, he's turned myself back into it. No dude, Carson Wentz has everything in his,

he's gonna be thinking about his fucking unborn kids being like, I'm playing for you. Yeah, but Chase Young, I don't know if he's a dad. Chase Young's gonna look at him and be like, remember when we pushed this guy shit in week one and they're gonna do it again. Carson Wentz will play his balls off. Carson Wentz plays his worst when he's playing his balls off.

When he tries to do too much, and he's like throwing submarine interceptions. Because Doug Peterson's got nothing to lose too. So he's gonna be like, fuck it, let's just open up the playbook for you, Carson. And Jalen Hertz, let's go to the Eagles Cowboys game. Jalen Hertz is a work in progress. That was, the Eagles looked awesome.

And then they sucked, sucked. And Andy Dalton might be back. Yeah. Is Andy Dalton back? He looks good. I think you're bearing the lead really on this story, which is that Mike McCarthy smashed another watermelon. I didn't want to bring it up because I'm now 0-2 in my life

with Mike McCarthy watermelon game. I have several questions about the watermelons. This fucking guy can smash watermelons and beat me. I've lost so much fucking money to these stupid watermelons. If Mike McCarthy smashes another watermelon before next week, guess what? The football team's definitely losing and the Cowboys are definitely winning

and they're getting in. That's how the watermelon math works. Because I suspect what happened was when Mike McCarthy smashed that watermelon before the Vikings game, I think it came out later in the news that he did that. He got a bunch of people being like, hey, Mike McCarthy, you're not a fat slob.

Like you're kind of a genius. And he was like, you know what? I am a genius. Then he goes to the store and he stocks up on watermelons. Because watermelons are out of season right now. You can't go to the store and get a fresh watermelon. It doesn't matter.

Smashing watermelons are different. He probably- They don't need them for taste. I don't think you can get one at the store. Nobody, I- I think he went to the store and stocked up on watermelons. Dude, he could paint the pumpkin.

And has like an entire, like corner of his garage, maybe entire room in his house that his wife is mad at him for, that's just ceiling to floor, stacked with watermelons. Because he's like, if I have to give a spark to my team, this is the one thing that I know how to do. Watermelons work.

I think Joe Judge, if Joe Judge is smart, he spends all week not preparing for the Cowboys, but buying every single watermelon in the New York area. And I will help. I will help because I hate these watermelon games. I've lost so much money to the fucking watermelons. And the fact that they told us at halftime, they come out of the fucking halftime,

they're like, yeah, breaking news. Mike McCarthy smashed another watermelon. God fucking dammit, dude. I can't win when the coach smashes a watermelon on the night before the game. I cannot. There is a 0% chance of beating a watermelon team. Like, they beat the Vikings,

they beat the fucking Eagles, and the Cowboys suck. And two of their five wins this year, six wins, a third of their wins are watermelon wins. Yeah. It's bullshit. I'm telling you, he's gonna do the watermelon again. He's gonna fly with a watermelon.

He's gonna put it under his shirt. I want TSAs. And he's gonna look like he's pregnant, going through security. And they're gonna be like, sir, what is that? He's like, I'm with child. And you know what? So please don't judge me.

And he's gonna bring it up to New York. He's gonna smash another watermelon and the Cowboys are gonna win. The worst part is I can actually, I can see it, I can visualize the room. Mike McCarthy talking to the boys before the big game on a Saturday night. And I can feel the energy.

And I can see Mike McCarthy fumbling around underneath the table in some Marriott dining hall. And then just boom, watermelon on the table and the place erupts. And then he smashes it and the place erupts again. And it's like the most electric moment ever. Fucking Mike McCarthy in goddamn watermelon. I don't think it matters.

I think it's seedless. I think it's absolutely because I don't think Mike McCarthy could smash a seeded watermelon. It's like, you're the best coach of all time. Lombardi, Belichick, Gallagher. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, this is gonna end poorly if he smashes another one. So yes, if you know anyone that sells watermelons

or harvests them, we should put up pictures of Mike McCarthy at every watermelon stand in the tri-state area and be like, do not sell to this man. I hate this guy. Can't beat, can't own two in watermelon. Can't beat it. I bet way too much on watermelon.

Unbeknownst to myself. It was nice to see Deshaun Jackson back again. He had everyone yelling like, don't drop the ball, dude. He caught one pass for like 85 yards, got behind the defense. I looked at it, I thought it was a replay of like Deshaun Jackson from 2009. I was like, oh, holy shit, they're showing,

this is a nice replay. No, 20 years from now, Deshaun Jackson will come in, catch an 85-yard pass and then immediately hurt his abdomen or something and be like, well, he's out for the next 10 weeks. Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty good gig. And to be honest with you, I kind of understand where he's coming from, not wanting to score

and to like stretch that last yard out for as long as you can, because everything that happens after you score is anticlimactic. Right. Like it's not, you no longer have that rush. It's good, it's a good point. Yeah, he's just addicted to edging. He just loves edging so much and then he'll do it

for a good like five seconds, then he gets in and it's like, okay, I guess I got, I have to go back to the bench now and probably not catch another touchdown for the next five years, but that last yard is gotta be electric. It was awesome. Eagle secondary is so bad. Actually, that, so going back to the Washington football

team, because these games are also paired, I feel pretty good for your chances just because the Eagle secondary is that bad. Like that, they showed that one stat of that one guy. It was brutal. It would be nice if they... It was like 150 yards against them. Yeah, it'd be nice if we had a quarterback

that could throw a ball into the secondary. Man. So how are you, what are you saying, your confidence level? It's like a two, I won't... We'll be on a live stream on Sunday night. I'm gonna bet on, I'm gonna bet on the Washington football team in solidarity. I'll be honest.

Unless Carson Wentz plays, then you're getting face fucked. I'll be honest. I have no idea what's going on with Alex Smith. We need, we do need somebody to break down exactly what's happening with his leg. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Like it's his bad leg.

Yeah, no. He's having calf cramps. He's like, okay, yeah. Someone was explaining today that it was like the muscle that they grafted onto the front of his leg that's now cramping up. It's like, well, that, none of that sounds good. Nope.

I need, I need like a TV chef to break it down because it sounds like they're talking about like a cow's meat in which part of the, I need Guy Fieri being like, the calf is just falling off the bone, chemo-sobby, it's out of balanced flavor. Cause like there's no injury specialists that can tell me. It's, except for probably his own doctor,

what's happening. But if it's not Alex Smith, if it's like Taylor Heinecke, I'm, my confidence level is out of two. It's out of three. And Dwayne Haskins is one. Dwayne Haskins is negative five. Yeah. And...

Either for the yards that he goes backwards. Yes. And Logan Thomas, probably a 1.5. Wildcat. Wildcat, back up two or two. And then you've got Montez. We've got a Stephen Montez, a rookie. And he'd probably be at about a 1.5.

So I'm not feeling very confident at all. Oh, shit. And if there's a watermelon involved, just like, just fuck me. Just fuck me. Just shove the watermelon up my ass. Save me some time. Save you a whole mess that you're gonna have to clean up

in that hotel like McCarthy. Just stick it right up my ass instead and call it a day. I want to go to the watermelon game. I want to go to, I want to go see it. I want to see what is the bane of my existence. I forgot. I liked Steve Montez in Colorado. I liked him.

Yeah. I mean, he'd, I think he'd- Also anyone who's got, yeah. He'd be the first Mexican-American starting quarterback in the NFL, I think. I don't think that's true. I think it is. Is it?

Bringing, now, guess what? Washington football team least racist franchise in the NFL. There it is. Boom. There it is. Yeah. Fuck it. Mark Sanchez.

Fuck. We always forget Mark Sanchez and Tony Romo. Wait, is he Mexican? Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. You thought he was Italian? Yeah.

I thought it was like a Mike Tarino situation. No, yeah. No, no, no. He's, yeah. Jim Plunkett. There's been a lot, but you know what? Fuck it. That was wrong with me.

It's the first ever. First ever. Yeah, there you go. You got it. You got it. All right. Last up, Ram Seahawks. Jared Goff has had to pop his own thumb back in.

So why doesn't everyone shut the fuck up about him not being good? Agreed. That's all I got. And this is, I mean, Blake Bortles can save your life. I'm serious too. And, and, and I'm mad because sometimes you get a take right, but you time it wrong. I times my Seahawks defense is gonna turn a corner take wrong.

I did it like somewhere in the middle of the season. They get, they had a couple more games where they gave up a shit load of points. I think the Bills game. They have officially turned a corner. The Seahawks defense has a five straight games now where a team has scored 20 points or four fewer against them. And they didn't, the Rams didn't score a touchdown.

Like the Seahawks have gone, they're kind of in the Ravens category of we forgot about them because their defense was so bad. And they had a couple of stinkers in there. They now, especially the fact that they could get the one seed. They flipped the switch. And well, to be fair to their, their defense. Yes, they stunk at the beginning of the year. They've seemed to have flipped the switch, but they've also played

some pretty shitty offenses except for the Los Angeles Rams. Yeah. With a hurt, Jared Goff. Well, the Jets are in hyperdrive, dude. Well, I think it's fair to ask, did the Jets give the blueprint to beating the Rams as a big time blueprint game? Yeah, no, they, the, I, this is a dumb thought, but I've actually crossed my mind.

Like what's stopping, I guess the government is the answer to this, but just go with me here for a second. What's stopping a team from going like last second, fuck them up, all fans in the stadium? Like what if the Seahawks are in the NFC, what if the Seahawks get the one seed? NFC champions. Flash mob.

Don't tell anyone. And then boom, you show up and they're like, you know what? We know this is risky, but we want to go to the Super Bowl. They can't arrest all of us. And it would be, it would, I mean, they would win the game. Because I, I do, I do think that like players and teams aren't used to fans. That it would be a shock to the system. A lot of states have exemptions for religious activities.

So if you were to call it the church of the 12s, yeah, I've just get everybody show up. That has crossed my mind that like some team could just pull that out last second and be like, oh, well, guess what? Packed house, loud as fuck. Like Rogers, I mean, his entire game is cheating at this point. What would he do? I think you can tweet out a flash mob and just arrange for people to show up.

Yeah. I think whatever, whatever the Chargers have is contagious and the Rams have caught it. That's my theory that I'm working with because the, the play towards the end of the game where the Rams put the ball down and the Seahawks picked it up and started running with it. The guy didn't get touched on the Rams. That, that was the play that the Chargers would make.

Yes. That was apps. I can spot a Chargers play from anywhere. Yup. That's a Chargers play. Yup. There were a bunch of plays actually in this game that remind me very much of something that the Chargers would have done.

The Rams have kind of taken on that personality of the roommate. I don't know what it is. I don't like it and I guess maybe the Chargers have taken on some of the Rams personality, swung the other way on it. It's crazy that the Colts and the Rams could not make the playoffs and you would, you know, a couple of weeks ago been like, those are two teams. They're going to be a tough out. I think, I think the Rams will still make it.

Yeah. No, but they, there's a way that they cannot. Yeah. You know, yeah. No, I do too, but who's starting for quarterback and hopefully their defense can shut down. I mean, I don't trust the Cardinals right now. That game's going to be weird.

I'm going to take the honor in that game right now. Well, yeah. If it's Wolferd against, against the Cardinals. Yeah. Just the way that those two teams are playing and like the knowing each other very well, I don't know. I want the Rams in the playoffs. Not at the Bears expense.

Not at the Bears. Well, no, no, if the Rams win, you're good, right? Yeah, yeah. Yes. I want, I want the Rams very bad. Correct, correct, correct, correct. No, but if the Bears lose and the Cardinals win, the Rams would go to the playoffs. So that would be the Bears.

I want the Bears and I want the Bears in the playoffs and also the Rams can come along too. I'm excited for these playoffs. I, I hope they stick with seven teams because it does make it does feel just, I don't know. Well, people are complaining about, oh, we're going to get a mediocre team into the playoffs. Guess what?

It's more football. Yeah. You were actively rooting against more. I want you to know for, for your own sake, so you can hear it out loud what you were advocating and that's one less NFL football game. Right. So just so you know, we're on the same page here. If you're still comfortable with that position, then I guess do you, but you

and I, we will go on different paths with that. Correct. I mean, I've been watching every bowl game. I don't know people. I don't know how people don't watch every bowl game. Coastal Carolina losing was, I ended up hating that team. I don't know why. I think it was because they just faked injuries all the time, but yeah,

I ended up hating that team. That was a weird ending too. All right. Let's do football guy the week and who's back the week and we'll send everyone on their way. Baby Bron of the week. We, because it's only, it's only you and I and, and Bubba here, Billy and Jake and, and Hank, they all get a vacation.

We're here. Cause we wouldn't miss a show. So just if you're looking for like, Hey, who's the hero of this podcast? Well, we just named the three. It's three of us. Bubba take a bow. Yeah. Bubba take a bow.

Yep. Three of us that will work no matter what. Everyone else like whatever. I'm not vacationed. Billy has worked very hard this year. Billy's worked really hard. Billy actually sent us an animal fact. Like he sent us one line and was like, boom, my job's done.

He probably said to the people, I think he's with his family. He probably was like, Hey guys, I got a little work I got to do today. Gonna need a few hours. And then he sat in his room playing call of duty. And then at the very end sent us a half-ass popsicle stick animal fact. He was like, oof, there's probably just googled animal facts or just typed it in the Twitter search. I'm actually going to look it up on Twitter and see if he still does from anybody.

Billy's not listening to the show right now. Is he? No chance. No. Well, he might be because you gave him credit earlier. I did? Yeah. Somebody might tell him to listen.

Wait, when did I give him? Oh, the swag thing. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So Baby Bron will just do your Baby Bron. Well, Baby Bron was going to be Mike Tomlin for me because of the wine comment. I would also say whatever is currently inside Lars's uterus would qualify as a Baby Bron.

Yes. Okay. Yes. That so, so that will be our Baby Bron of the week. Let's see how his parlays did. Oh, he had Jets Moneyline. Okay. He had Jets Moneyline Broncos Moneyline Titans Moneyline.

All right. Let's do a football guy of the week. Football guy of the week. So we have four. Jake Marsh sent us. Jake Marsh did a lot more than Billy. No surprise. Football guy of the week nominees.

Giants head coach Joe Judge leading up to the Sundays Ravens game. He said, with all due respect, let's forget about Christmas. That was pretty funny. I like that. Ohio State OC tight end coach Kevin Wilson said he was stuck in the office and missed out on his 25th anniversary with his wife by tweeting. Missed out on a great night with my lovely bride. Got some great triple option plays.

I love it. I love it. And she knows what she signed up for. The fact that he's a triple option coach is so much better. Yes. The fact that like some great new triple option. There hasn't been a new triple option play in 50 years. Listen, she knows.

She knows that when you when you're the coach's wife, you know, you get you get to call the plays at home. What if he's staying in the in the facility? He's still calling the plays. That's how it works. Hall of Fame coach Bill Cower when tweeting about the unfortunate passing of Kevin Green, he said, heaven just got better on defense. That was such a great quote.

Yeah. And listen to Bill Cower today talk about just the NFL in general and hearing his like he hasn't been in Pittsburgh in what 15 years. He's a name, by the way. He's trying to float his name. Yeah. Bill Cower is a great name to float out there. He's back out there.

A retread coach that's going to come back. Yeah. He still has the most perfect pick Pittsburgh accent. Yeah. It's beautiful to listen to. But that's such a great heaven just got better on defense. I always like it when they actually just got heaven heaven. Heaven's going to start is going to switch to the four three.

I love it when they toss out like they accidentally use the word hell because they can't get out of their football vernacular. Heaven just got a hell of a defensive end. Wouldn't want to be a quarterback in heaven right now. Kevin Green just passed. All right. And then Titans center Ben Jones did not let a Green Bay snowstorm stop him from walking out on the field barefoot and saying a prayer

to honor his brother, which he does before every game. I was going to make fun of it. And then the prayer thing. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's very nice. That is a football.

It's a very football guy thing to do to see bad weather and be like less close. And manly. All right. So those are our football guys the week. We'll tweet it out. I don't know how Kevin Green doesn't win this. The Bill Cowher quote. That is just such a great like that.

Bill Cowher. That's that's the eulogy. That's it. He's just yeah. He's just up in heaven actually beating the shit out of out of like the autograph. Yeah. Someone's actually pissed because they were going to do Kevin Green's eulogy. And Bill Cowher just stole their fine.

They're finishing line. Yeah. Like that was going to be the final line of the eulogy that brought down the house. It would be sick though because we don't know what heaven is if you just get up there and like. What do you mean. It's all 22. But if the thing that you it's no football is what happens if you get up there and your job was just to be super violent.

You get to go up there and just start kicking the shit out of it because it makes you happy. Right. Yes. Yes. All right. So vote for football guy the week football guy the week. We will tweet it. We will blog it football guy the week.

All right. Let's do let's finish up the show. Who's back the week brought to you by our friends at McDonald's. The McRib is officially back. It's the most important sandwich of the year. The McRib is officially back and available for a limited time at participating McDonald's PFT. I've seen him eat it every single week.

I've had one. I loved it. The McRib is delicious. It's also you feel like you're doing something special when you eat the McRib. You don't know when the next time you're going to get that McRib might be. Right. So it feels special when you when you eat that McRib. Because it is a limited time and it is such a popular sandwich people have driven over

state lines to get their McRib because it's not available in their area. One guy started a McRib finder that told people where the McRib is available and when and some have decided to find ways to make their own McRib when it isn't available. It's not just a sandwich. It's a cultural phenomenon. That's why it's I think that's why it's so delicious. It's a lifestyle because you can taste like the culture. Yeah.

I do taste culture. Right. It's like holy shit. I have two cultures. This isn't just the sandwich. This is something that people lust for that you can't get all the time. McDonald's is genius. I dreamed about the McRib last week and they take it away from you and they take it away

and then we say hey wait we want more McRib and then every now and then they're like hey it's McRib rib time. Everyone loses their mind. I tried to make my own one time. Yeah. Didn't work out. Nope. You can't.

You have to get McRib at McDonald's limited time only available for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Check to see if your local McDonald's has McRib. If it doesn't complain, complain and complain. It probably won't do anything. You know what? Tag me in a tweet. I'll help you.

I'll help you get the McRib. I'll do whatever I can because I have a blue check mark. So I'll do whatever I can because you need the McRib. McRib is officially back at McDonald's. Thank you to McDonald's for sponsoring. Who's back of the week? The McRib always. All right.

Bubba let's finish up the show. What do you got? My who's back is our boy, Chet Hanks. So I saw he's doing a 60 day challenge where we're improving our mind, body, and soul. Yeah. I don't really know what that pertains, but I'm assuming we're going to get some workout stuff, some life advice, some motivation from Chet. Sounds good to me.

Yes. Where do I sign up for this and how much? I don't know. The only bad news is we're going to be starting on day three. What do you mean? He started on Saturday, which is a wild move. No, that's a good move. I started.

All right. So my who's back is kind of related. We're doing hard bodies in 2021. Yeah. Two years ago was year of the core. This year was 20 push-ups, 20 squats every single day for 2020. 2021, hard bodies. What does that mean?

We're just going to get hard. Hell yeah. However you want to get hard, get hard. I'm in. By the end of 2021, you will be able to bounce a quarter off my abs and ass. I'm in. I need to get my back hard first. Dude, it's everything.

We're going to have a hard mindset. Yeah, we're about mine. That's the thing. Yes. Does the mindset grow the hardness from the inside out? It's all going to be like people are going to look at us and they'll be like, these aren't soft podcasters. These are fucking hard ass men.

Last of the heart. You know what? We're the first of the new hards. Correct. Of the next generation of being hard. We're going to be so join me, anyone who's trying to better themselves. We're doing a little runway diet from tomorrow, Monday or today, Monday to Thursday. Monday is not going to work for me.

No, it's a, listen, this is what you want to get hard? I'm telling you, I'm being honest. I'm giving you a hard mindset right now. It's a pre-diet. So this is going to be the, you're going to shock your body for the next four days to try to prepare yourself for January 4th. That's when we start, but this is just a pre-diet to be like, hey, maybe, maybe things are going to be changing around here in the old tummy.

I'm going to have a hard time falling into any sort of diet when the bills are playing Monday night football right off the top. That's an issue with me. All right. Just think about it. Maybe do a salad for lunch. I, last night, my dinner was two sleeves of crackers, a block of cheese, and two ice cream cones.

That's hard. That's soft. No, that's soft. That's paleo. No, that's soft. I need to get hard. Okay. So we're going to get hard bodies in 2021.

I'm going to get hard during the day tomorrow. I'll be hard. Perfect. Just, just shock your body. I'm going to get a little soft. Do me a favor. Next four days, shock your body in some way. Let it know that shit's about to get real around here on January 4th

or shortly thereafter. Does Chet Hayes have any sort of slogan or name for his, his system, his wellness system? No, we need to work on that. Yeah, no. Hit him up. Hit him up. Hard body is gone.

I've taken that. Jamaican me hard body. No, don't let, no, don't get a confused. Chet Hayes is a soft body. I might do a, I might do a meld. No, Chet hard. Chet hard is hard. Chet is so hard, dude.

Are you kidding me? I'm going to get a tattoo. Part of my hard body, 2021. Chet has a tongue. Yeah, I know. I'm going to catch up. All right. He can't, he has like his whole body's covered in tattoos.

I'm a blank canvas. Which would you rather be? Probably Chet Hayes. No, I'd rather be Chet. I'd rather be Chet. Yeah, Chet is fucking sweet. Fuck that. That dude kicks ass.

Isn't his dad like a, never mind. Who's his dad? What? I'm fucking. Okay, I thought you. Bubba, you slide dog. God damn it, dude. You got me.

You're good. You're good, you. All right, PFT, you're who's back. My who's back of the week is the low man trophy. We have the finalist for the low man trophy. We teased it last week. We said Jacobi Buchanan from Army, the Buchanan ball. He was our first finalist.

He's nominated. The other nominees are Tori Carter from LSU. I think he's been nominated twice before. This is a third, third nomination for Tori Carter from LSU. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. We also have Mason Stokey from Wisconsin. Stoke, yeah.

Ben Mason. We got a couple of masons out there. Ben Mason from Michigan. He's a recurring winner of the low man trophy. And then finally, we've got three masons. Holy shit, Mason Wake from BYU. Yep. So we've got three masons.

That's spooky. Jacobi Buchanan and then Tori Carter. Those are the nominees as voted on by our esteemed low man council. Shout out to Chevy, the Chevy Silverado, the official sponsor of the low man trophy, and the official sponsor of fullbacks everywhere for putting this all together. We're very excited. We will be announcing the winner of the low man trophy. I believe right before the Heisman trophy, we are sneak in there.

Right before Trevor Lawrence wins the Heisman. Steel some thunder from Trevor Lawrence. So again, it's Jacobi Buchanan, Tori Carter, Mason Stokey, Ben Mason, and Mason Wake. That's incredible. Let's go. Mason, the name of fullbacks. The name of Chevy Silverados too. Chevy Silverado, the toughest, grittiest truck in the biz.

I love it. It's going to be a great night. Magical night. We always do the pigs in a blanket. Well, no. We do the chicken wings. Shit. What?

Dude, that's that's hard. January. I said, if you go back and you listen to the tape, I said January 4th or shortly thereafter. What about cheat day? Well, no, I'm saying shortly thereafter is January 6th. Okay. So we're good. Okay, good.

Yeah. I always put the shortly thereafter in there as a legal loophole to get me out of my own diet. Very smart. All right. Let's should we do a number? Should we fake it and say that we got it right? Oh, 69. No, we would never do that.

Just so everyone knows, we would never do that. I shouldn't have said that because now people are going to be like, you're going to fake it. No, I'll keep the cat on us. All right. 100. 888. 52. Is it broken?

Nope. Okay. Good. That would have been a heartbreak. I rely on that. 100. 100. 100.

100. Wait. What did you say, Bubba? 52. It's 52. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Come on.

Fuck you. Let's go. I should have said the shit beforehand. New champion. That's, I mean, if people could see it, it is not me at PFT. 52. Fuck Jake in the face. On the new champ.

Yeah. New fucking champ. Sorry, Jake. I got the belt. Yeah, we should get a belt or a crown for you to wear. Now, Bubba, will you be keeping the number? No. Okay, great.

That's smart. Same player. Good. Yeah, I'm going to put it back. Thank you. It's actually very nice of you. It's theft if you would have taken her. Yes, very nice of you.

I'm sorry, it sucks that we didn't have a full house, but it still was awesome. You still would have picked 52 anyways. Yeah, and it was awesome because, guess what, fuck everyone else. You know what? Maybe that's the end of the game. No, actually, we'll keep doing it because we're addicted to fucking. That's straight up karma. You showed up for work.

Yeah, you showed up for work. You win absolutely nothing except the satisfaction of getting a ping-pong ball right at the end of the show. Wednesday, best of with new interviews. So get ready. We'll see you over Wednesday. Love you guys. Oh, also, Billy said lamb skin was used for condoms until recently.

Very cool, Billy. Nice fact, Billy. Way to know about condoms, nerd. It's Pardon My Tink presented by Bob Stool Sports.