Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell... Volume 12

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

As we take a very short break during the summer holidays - here’s a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  We’ll see you in a wee...k or so for the start of Series 9!!  Episode Playlist: S6 EP11 - Lou Beckett  S6 EP22 - Rose Hanson S6 EP40 - Peter Andre S6 EP20 - Alex Jones  If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Exec Producer: Michael Marden Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
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Starting point is 00:01:05 Join for just $499 a month. Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitak. And you're listening to now, that's what I call Parenting Hell. Welcome to the show. For the first time, in a way, but in a way you you you you you you you you you you you you you you've you you've you you. Good it's the reason we brought you here. I'm really sorry that's not really the question we're asking how are you Rob you've got a colour
Starting point is 00:01:30 I've not seen me in a while. I've been bright red. What's quite weird is we're in the same house but in different rooms doing this on Zoom because it's the easiest way to do it so it feels a bit odd. Not just not just because the spark's the the the the the the as well, don't we know? That's something we do. Do you want to explain what's going on, Josh? Yeah, so Ron's rubbing his body, all different parts of his body and moving it to tell me? I roll my nipples when I get stressed. That little chest scratch is a stress. Is that a stress? Is that Like you when you, you know, you clap your hands and... Like a little otter. Yeah, like a hotter. Okay. We felt it'd be right to give Lou a right of reply after the New York episode. And then we thought it would certainly be popular with our listeners because as we know
Starting point is 00:02:16 Lou and Rose are more popular than us. So we've got Lu on to bring you up on a few things that maybe she disagrees with because there was in many ways this is a one-sided podcast isn't it? So yes it's very much our version of events but obviously in any any life there's one person's version events and then the truth is somewhere in the middle so I feel it'll be good to get both sides and I'm sure we'll get Rosen at some point as well. Yes so Louise, welcome to the show Louise.. Hello. Hello. Hello. th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th is th is th is is is is is th is th is is is is is th is th is th, th is is th, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi th middle. So I think it'll be good to get both sides and I'm sure we'll get Rosen at some point as well. Yes, so Louise, welcome. Welcome to the show, Louise. Hello. How are you, have you got a few things that you'd like to correct Rob on? There was a few things that as I was listening to the New York episode, I just, I started a little notes on my phone. Oh, well that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's good that's good that's good that's good. That's good. That's good. That's good to know. That's good to know. Not necessarily. Not necessarily massive issues,
Starting point is 00:03:09 but just a couple of little, a couple of little clarifications I'd like to, I'd like to make. Yeah, no, I'll be a bit worried if it was massive issues, like. We should say, if you want to list, go back and listen to the New York episode, that might be worth doing as a preparation for this and see if you can spot the lies before Lou flags them up. Okay, so what cropped up on the episodes that you sort of had issues with Lou? So when you said that you struggled in the mornings, yes, I struggle to get up in the mornings. I just, I would say like sometimes you tell me off rightly so sometimes for shouting that like I shout the girl shout I I shout oy a lot in the mornings
Starting point is 00:03:52 because they're not listening and sometimes you need to cut through so give me to give me a context when you shout oi so I've gone like girls can you go upstairs and brush your teeth and it gets louder each time and it gets more into like annoying teacher voice yeah yeah that it starts to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their I I I I I I I I I I I their I I I I their I their their their their their th th th th is is is th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho teee. te. tea. tho tho tho tho theee. tho the. the can you go upstairs and brush your teeth? And it gets more into like annoying, me-teacher voice. Yeah. That it starts off in my normal voice and it gets more like cut through. Girls, sorry, that's quite loud. Yeah, yeah, correct. And then at the end of it, if they're still not listening,
Starting point is 00:04:20 I just do a massive oi because it cuts the eye of me yeah like Oye and then they look at me and I say go upstairs and brush your teeth and I'm I'm always like you're shouting don't shout at them you don't need to shout it just adds to the chaos or the stress and I'm like you need to cut through and they're listening to be like oh I just can't cope in the morning so just they're asking the me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me to be asking they they they they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're asking they're to to to to to to to to to to to to they're just I'm like I'm like oh I'm like oh I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they're just I they're just I the the the they I'm just they they they they they they they the tho the tho the th tho tho tho tho they tho to they to they're they're they're they, so just they're asking them to be questions, it's kind of a bagel, because I have my shoes wearing my thing. I'm like, yeah, sometimes you need an oi, don't you? Oh, little dickard, it's like, it's not something, it's not, it's not like, I've got, do you know what, really help everyone have a nice end start to a morning? If I shout, stand at the bottom of the task, and sca, and sca, and sca, and s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s', and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. Oh, they, they, they, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, reason, there's a theory. It's a process, it's taken a while to get there, that he doesn't see because he gets up so much later.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Yeah, but you are better than me in the morning. I am, no, I mean I'm conscious. I'm cautious in the morning. 7.30 I get up. And sometimes I've got in at midnight 1 a.m. Oh, poor Robert. This is one of the things I kind of, I kind of identify with you, Lou. You're like me, you're one of those people that is told, because they're good in the mornings,
Starting point is 00:05:32 their punishment is there, the one that has to get up. It feels unfair to me. Well, Lou is more than welcome to stay up as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as late as to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me, to me, to me. to me, to me. to me, to me, to me, to to to to to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me. to me, to me. to me. to me. she wants hosting an award ceremony for car dealers if she wants? Yes but no one would pay me to do that Rob so I do that you pick you lane. No I don't mind getting up in the morning because I am generally up and I get up earlier than Rob and I am just more conscious. It was the being told off for shouting. Yeah sure when I said that that is I think now maybe having done it for like a full week you understand Rob that there needs to be some some some some some to be some some to be some some some to be some to be to be some some to be to be to be some some some the to be the the to be the the the the to be the to be the the the the to be to be to be the to be to be the the the the to be they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the to the to th. I'm th. I'm the th. to the to the the to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'mthat is, I think now maybe having done it for like a full week, you understand Rob that there needs to be some shouting sometimes because otherwise it's a constant barrage of questions, requests, they're running around on the jibly bugs, they're trying to run over the dog,
Starting point is 00:06:15 like, or just sometimes you just need an oi. I would argue though the point the the point of this episode was pulling me up on things that I said on the show, not using it as a jumping off point to air grievances over an eight-year period. I think it's a very dangerous route for us to take it. I've got specific. She's going to bring up an ex-girlfriend in a minute. Well, Rob, Rob's got him a specific, okay. You are specific.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Yeah, okay. if you want it specific. You are specific. Yeah, okay. 12 minutes and eight seconds. And he's fucking hell, who you? Spooks? What's it? You said that you are reactive rather than proactive, which I'd say is your entire ethos to your entire life as opposed to just specifically school. Again, again, it was a bit like a character assassination. Yeah, well, like about the black eye thing when you said I should email them to tell
Starting point is 00:07:12 her she's got a black eye, rather than just let it happen. And I think with the black eye, if you're sending a kid into a school, the full on shineer and it was awful, it was bad, it looked awful. Yeah, yeah. Especially because the teacher doesn't know what a jiggly bug is because that's not the name of it. And if she says, oh, I hit myself in the face with a jiggly bug, they don't know what that is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Because that's definitely been written down at school. Well, let them write it down. Just because, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiii. thiiiiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiise it for the teachers. I think that's a waste of time. But if they're bothered, they'll ask. Yeah, well I'll ask at one point, won't they? When she's been written down a few times? I mean, if the rule was, right? That you go in for a kid with black eyes, I'm loving this. I'm loving this. I'm absolutely loving. If the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll, they'll, if they'll, if they'll, if they'll, if they'll, if they're they're they're they'll, if they'll, both my children have got black eyes, but don't worry, it was an accident.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Oh, I won't bother asking the kid or I'll look it into that then because the parents said it, there's an email. No, they'll still do it. They still do their due diligence on a child of a black eye, and they know that I'm not that kind of guy. They've seen me on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Mommy's not here, so it wasn't her fault. But don't worry, we're across it. I just needed them to know that it wasn't me. I think you worry too much about what people think, but that's where me and you are different as people aren't we there?
Starting point is 00:08:43 Very different. When Blue was very jet lagged in New York, Josh, about the mass result? Oh, I lost my head. I read an email at 5 in the morning and I lost my head. Five in the morning, New York time. Yeah, 5 in New York time, afternoon. All the teacher was said was, oh, um, our eldest child, a little bit surprised by her mass result this week. I've had a word of her and we're going to sort of try
Starting point is 00:09:08 and improve on it next week, right? So very like very low level whatever and I was we were both a bit like oh it's not very much detail I don't really know what is not a very like a different surprise what does that that surprised by the score whatever and then like so we're a to? the..... the the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. we. we. we. we. we. we. we. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the by the school whether and then like so we replied and okay now is what what surprised you what needs to be worked on kind of thing and between us getting the email and sending that Lou was on the phone to be crying saying that she was like a bad mom should do more math with my kid I'm a failure I shouldn't be in New York I'm a failure this is I was quite jet lagged and I'd woken up really early and I'd done that thin for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to their the they. I to to to to to to their to to to their their what I to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I they. I the the they. I the the the they. I they. I they. I the they. I they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was. I was. I was. I'm to me me me. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm they. I'm jet lagged and I'd woken up really early and I'd done that thing for about two hours where I knew I needed to go back to sleep. But my body thought it was one in the after me. But it wasn't, it was like half three in the morning
Starting point is 00:09:53 and I needed to sleep and I couldn't sleep. So at the time I read the email and in my head when they said surprised I was like, well she's they they they they they they they they they were like well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was thed to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thed to thed thed thed the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to scribbles on their bit of paper and she sat there crying in the corner of the classroom by herself because mommy didn't practice it with her and she's got two out of 40. And then when I spoke to the teacher she was that oh no she got 28 it's fine it's just that they can't progress till they get like 30 or something. Oh that's fine. Well that was on the second the second the second the second the second the second the second the second that was on that was on the second that was on the second that was on the second that's that's that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's the second the second the second that's that's the second that's fine. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. I was on the second the second the second the second the second the second the second the second the second name. I was on the second name. I was the second. I was the second. I was the second. I was the second. I was on the second. I was about about about about about half. I was about about about half. cry on the phone. Oh, Lou. Poor Lou. Oh, God, we're so similar. Well, I think I'm like to say, I'd argue I'm too reactive, where Lou may be too proactive and over-organized, but we sort of meet in the middle, don't you think, Lou? Yeah, I mean, I would say, I do accept that.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Why do your yes it's always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always to sound to sound to sound to sound to sound to sound to sound to sound to'm thinking as I say it. I think I'm very good at solving a problem but I also think I'm quite good at identifying a problem that maybe isn't a problem yet and then going full circle to here's a problem that I mostly created in my head and then here's a solution, here's the person I found is what we're going to do and so I come to you with like a full blah blah blah blah and you go I didn't even realize it was a problem. It's good to be prepared but I'd argue maybe over preparing for situations that aren't happening. Yeah it's good to be prepared. Can I ask a New York question? Because one complaint that's stuck with me from Rob was that he texted you and you replied saying you didn't have time to what's up the street? No he hadn't... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the th. I I had had had had had th. I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd this this the the this the the the they. I'd I'd I'd I'd like like I'd to to to their this to to their to to to their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their their their their their their I'd their I'd they. I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'd I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to th. I'd to th. I'd to to to to to th. I'd to to to to th. I'd to th. I'd to th. I'd they. I'd they. I'd the you and you replied saying you didn't have time to WhatsApp because you're walking up the street.
Starting point is 00:11:27 No he hadn't, I've written this way down this well. Yes Josh. Yes, that's right yeah it was on the phone to me so he's on the phone to me. What was it about? I can't remember what it was about? It was about getting the baby stuff back off our friends to. the the the th. And like all of us are friends so we've got one group WhatsApp. I'm not in the country at this point. I'm in a different country on a different time zone. Oh fuck off it's not 1973 you got to go to a pay phone you got to the phone you got to do with you mate. What's the country got to do with it? the time he's found me. I was being the class rep in Sydney Australia. Were you being the class rep in Sydney Australia or were you asking me whether Christmas presents for the teacher were the actual thing and then I did them. So I've put that down as well. Let's go back to New York. What have you got someone else class rep for you Rob? Someone doing your homework? Yeah, oh I've got a lot on the class rep thing. th. th. th. th. th. to do to do to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the the to to the the to to to the class rep presents to do to do to do the class rep presents to do to to their the class rep presents. Robe? Robe? What to do to to to to to to to to to to to me me me to me to me their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. What their the. What their the. What the. What the. What the. What the. What their the. What their their their their their lot on the class rep. I've got a lot on the class rep thing because I said, hmm. Meanwhile you're getting pissed with Alan Carr? Yeah. So the New York, when he said it was on
Starting point is 00:12:32 like, it was on WhatsApp and it's like, well if she's already what'sapping me, she could WhatsApp our friends. It was a phone conversation and I was walking in it like, I mean, it's a very first well problem I'm aware. I was walking on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. world problem I'm aware, but I was walking on the highline, it was very windy. I was walking with my friend, so like, I was just saying, I was like, well, could you text them now? Because we were on the phone. I was like, well, could you text? theymea, because we're adding layers into an admin thing here that doesn't, so what, if I text and they reply, and then they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, they reply, to reply, to reply, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to text, could to to text, could to text, could to to text, could to to text, could to to text, could to text, could to to text, could to text, could to text, could to to text, to tx, tell, tell they, they, they, they, they, their, they, their, te, thex, could a good point. Why am I being a kind of transatlantic middleman? Yes, I would argue though Lou could have just popped it in the group. Hey guys, when can you a transatlantic middleman? Yeah, why? Why? Because I was trying to sort of kids out.
Starting point is 00:13:18 their kids out. Joward was looking down the barrel of a fourth and I had to go up to Westminster to give out some awards to new build homes. I had to give out some awards to new build homes. So someone else is doing your child care and you haven't done any cooking is what I heard there. Just a quick question about those awards. They bring you in quite early don't they and then you have quite a lot of downtime before the awards. Oh, you prick. You fucking prick. I've just got to text the club to say that, um, who? The car? The car, because we've mistimed it.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Okay. Are you aware that we're recording a podcast now? Yeah, but it's real, isn't it? This is real stuff. Oh, fuck it. I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. F. F. I. F. I. F. I. F. F. I. I. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thick. You. You. th. You're. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B. B. th. B. B. th. B. B. B. B. th. B. th. B. B. B. th. B. th. th. th. th. th. Are you aware that we're recording a podcast now? Yeah, but it's real isn't it? This is real stuff. Oh fuck it, I'll get flowed to do it. This is a little bit what it's like being married to Josh. He's put the mic down and he's texted his agent to booking him a cab. No, not to book it. To say that I'm going to be late to get there, so don't to get there so don't leave. Don't to leave. Oh what I'm panicking. I think he's panicking he can't speak. I think he's a bit nervous about this chat Rose. This is your chance. He's not looking at me. He's, do you know what? I know because I'm trying to make sure this car doesn't leave. Since we've been in this room, basically we've been at my house basically at to my house. toe, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. toe, th. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, thi, their, thi, th. th. th. I's, th. I's, their, I's their, I'm their, I's their, I's their, I's their, I's their, I's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. I's thin, thin, thin, to toean's thoomoomorrow, toeateat, thoomorrow, toe. I'm thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thi now we're all sat together we're not doing this on Zoom we're all sat together in my front room and is your right to reply episode Rose that Josh did with me and Lou we did that
Starting point is 00:14:53 recently Lou's episode yeah I was quite anxious about it yeah and I'd say since you've been in this room Josh hasn't look you directly in the eye once no he's also sat like he's a little mermaid. Like his little feet are tucked under him. There is a definite, look I take a photo of how he's sat? I like sitting like that on a sofa. It's quite defensive. I'm quite fetal. I'm spread out like a fat walrus like splayed across a scumpulk dockyard. Right, let's get on with it. Okay, so I've got a few questions for you Rose at the end about Josh. Where did that come from? Just from things I've picked up over
Starting point is 00:15:34 the episodes. Right, I didn't know that was an option. No, well it is. It's all an option and we're all sort of creating. Life's an option. Okay, that's bleak. Rob's got quibbles as well. Not quibbles but concerns. If you were picking him up from school, I'd pull you to the side and go, can I have a word about Josh? It's basically an intervention. No, no, it's not bad. Do you think he should be put up a year? No, not that. Not that, that's separate, but we can get to that later. This is Rose's opportunity. It's your opportunity. the opportunity, the opportunity, the opportunity, the opportunity, th. th. to, to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. the th. tho, the tho, the the the tho, they. too, they. too. too, too, too, too, too, too, to, to. It's your opportunity to basically anything that Josh has spoken about in the podcast that you slightly disagree with or the story got twisted in the telling or anything you want to get off your chest. This is your opportunity to sort of do that, Rose.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Lou is mainly just stuff she wanted to get off her chest for the last decade. Yeah, me since. First and foremost you've got to stop calling my things knickknacks. Oh it's about me. It's about you. Okay sure let us work through this. I like that. Actually there's been a quite a removal of knickknacks actually since having a boy. I'd say actually you're house. It does make me sound like I live in a charity shop. No okay so maybe I've said that for comic effect. However, I'd say there's lots of antique, I don't know if it is antique or looks antique, really beautiful.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Oh shit. No, no, but like nice lamps, tables and stuff like that. However, there are also lots of little plates, cups and saucers, yeah, yeah, you're right. They're not dotted.. But, th. But, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thoes, thoes, than, thi. thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi. thi. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, I th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, than, than, than, than, than. It's, than. It's, than. than. than. thanan. thanananan. thanan. thanananananananananan't thananananananan't thananan't all right. They're not, they're not a dotted. But I'd say, if anyone walked into your house, go, what a beautiful house, what amazing furniture. Yes, there are a few knickknacks knocking about, but I don't think the knickknacks, the headline, however knick knack's a fun word to say.
Starting point is 00:17:14 I know. So I think one of my favorite episodes, interesting word but is the day when I went to Cornwall. And basically Josh Peston seemed to have like just an absolute meltdown over Nacardo order. What I would say is that whereas there's things that just happen in a day when you're looking after children like getting their teeth cleaned or getting them dressed that kind of thing when you were doing it it was very much like they were oh my god and then I had to get them dressed, that kind of thing. When you were doing it, it was very much like they were, oh my god, and then I had to get them dressed. And you're like, well that's just a thing that happens in the day. That's just a day. Yeah, but I had to get them dressed with Peston in the evening. Yeah, Peston looming. So Peston loombed over the day. I could tel that's to get their their their the the the the the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the's the. the. the. the. the' the' the' the. the. the' the' the' the' they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to get to the. to to to to to the. to to the. to to the. the. the. the. the. they're. I could tell that he was fucked off with me. Peston? Peston? Yeah, Peston fucking hates me. Josh was...
Starting point is 00:18:08 Because there was a real, you know when you're texting and there's a real lack of response? I barely had time to reply. I was doing so much stuff. But there was a real... I'm sorry I wasn't responding to a text. There was a real... there. there was a real... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. Pest. Pest. Pest. Pest. Pest. Pest. t. te. te. te. tea. tea. Pest. te. te. there's like absolutely tumbleweed and you think he's not happy with me. Also, I got accused of ordering a mirror to arrive on this day. That wasn't my... You get given a slot? Yeah, the guy texted me was like, this is when the mirror is arriving. Yeah. So that's a quibble. You saying that essentially what Josh was a mooning is a mooning is a mooning was a mooning was a mooning was a mooning was a mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo moa was a moa is a moa is a moan is a moan is a moan is a moan is a th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, that's a quibble. Are you saying that essentially what Josh was a moaning about and turning into the end of the world scenario of, oh my god, there's food arriving, there's a mirror,
Starting point is 00:18:51 there's children. Well, I think the accord was, it was an unfortunate day, that was bad. To be fair, I did, to be, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, to, I, I, to, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the to, the end, the the, the the end, the, the I was... But I checked that with you. I said to you... Yeah, but I wasn't listening. Well, that's the problem, Josh. There is the problem. My days never been knocked off a kilter because food's been delivered to my house. Yeah, but you didn't have to go to the shop. No, but I didn't need to. That was the key. There was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. the the the to, to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, to. to, to, to. to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the to. the to go to the shop. No, but I didn't need to. That was the key. There was like some mental things that have been put in the freezer as well
Starting point is 00:19:28 that just didn't need to go in the freezer. And when I... They were in the freezer bag. You put like smoked salmon in the freezer. I didn't put the freezer. He doesn't understand fish.. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. tho. tho. tho. thttha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the understand fish. I don't understand fish. But there was like... I mean, to be fair, when I saw the picture, I was like, oh shit, we do have loads of cook meals in the freezer and I have ordered quite a few chicken pies because our daughter loves them.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Yeah. And then you sent me the some stuff away in the freezer? There's loads of old shit in there. Because that's such a big job. When you're already behind to go, okay, let's root through the freezer and see what's old. I do that with the fridge. Yeah, you love, you don't. I hate it. I know, I'm joking. But I'm the one who does it. It's great to see people with such a good connection. They just finish each other's senses.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I hate the cleaning out of the fridge job. I don't mind if I've got time. It's quite a saga with you when you're cleaning out the fridge as well. There's quite a lot of... What about when you're cleaning out the fridge? How's that go down? Oh. There's a couple of things I get constantly ribbed for on the podcast. One is that I can't drive, absolutely fair. It is really annoying. And the second is me like leaving things in the fridge and then saying, oh that's gone off.
Starting point is 00:20:54 You're doubling to ham. But I also think there is so many, yes, all the pastos, but Josh loves buying olives, picker lilies, those jalapeno things, eating about four of them, and then leaving them, the whole top of the fridge is just half moldy things of like... The artichoke hearts, I'm never eating them. I mean I didn't even know they were in there but I didn't even know they were in there. I bet you'd have a vine leaves, don't you? Do you know what? I think they're overrated, but they're exactly in my wheelhouse. Before we had kids, if ever we went on a mini break in the UK, if there was a shop that sold jams and piccolilies, he was there like a rat up a drain break. He loves that homemade chutney.
Starting point is 00:21:41 A chutney, yeah, so many of them. Yeah, that's right. So yeah, that's what I get slagged off for and it's... All right, yeah, I'll accept. I think the Cardo is just unfortunate timing. Also, I would argue you are telling a story for comedic effect and you wasn't probably as stric... I don't know. I think you were. I'm stopping myself. Sometimes you could accuse me of some anecdotes of juicing them up. But I would say that day. Because I was trying to have the shit. It's such a common theme in these stories, isn't it? You've always got the shit. No, I wish. Oh you bunged up are you? Well, let's not go into it. Well, why not? There are stomach issues though.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Remember before the Palladium? Yeah, but I had the Norovirus. Yeah, to be fair, you had the Norovirus. And I actually had it as well. And I think I'm pretty sure I gave it to you. I'm pretty sure that when you admitted to how long that a cardo order had been on the floor which has got underfloor heating I was slightly concerned about some of the meatish things that had just been left
Starting point is 00:22:57 there. Well I put all the meat inside it in and then I found those yogurt lollies and I opened one the other day and I was like what the fuck has happened to this and then I thought oh it was in that a card I order that Josh left on the floor for eight hours on the heating? On the heating? Yeah there was nothing I could do. I literally was going from one thing to the other all day. Oh and the rice crispies so you you know there was that massive huge box of rice crispy. Yeah, one KG. We were making rice crispy cakes. And I often look at what the weight is for things, for like the best cost. And the one KG was the same price as 500 grams.
Starting point is 00:23:35 So I thought, why not? Let's go with the one K. I also think. But I genuinely hadn't really thought about how many rice crispies In your defense on that, also, I don't think you should probably see the biggest and you think, well that's the biggest Rice Krispies box I've ever seen. Like that'll be the size of what I consider a big Rice Krispies box. That 1KG was bigger than I'd ever seen before. I've never seen them get that.
Starting point is 00:23:59 I would presume that was an option. I don't, if I was in a shop, I would never never that that that you're not online, you're like, well, it's the same size. I've never seen it in a shop. They wouldn't have it. I would never have thought we would have made that many Rice Crispy cakes. A pair of Travis Scott Trainers. Is there anything else, Rose that's cropped up that you would like to bring up? Because he's looking a bit too relaxed relaxed too too too too too too too too too too too too too to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax to relax trying to like be organized about it and get time codes but I'm a bit more of the Rob Beckett I think yeah shoot from the hip
Starting point is 00:24:29 order a mirror on a whim let it arrive whatever. Order too many things in the accord to order. Well there was something about wanting to talk to me about my coffee routine. Oh you didn't you get fucked off with me about the journey into school and you decided to go my basically just to teach me a lesson? No, that's, you've absolutely, you've absolutely showed you who's boss. Yeah. No, it was when we, you overruled Ways. I didn't overrule it.
Starting point is 00:25:02 I just said that my problem with Ways is that it gives you, it's a computer and it will say, oh, it's it's th, oh, oh, oh, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's thi thi, oh, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th. th. th. th. th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the.e.e.e. the. the. the. the. the. Oh, to me, to my problem with Ways is that it gives you, it's a computer and it will say, oh it's three minutes quicker and it just goes up as well. I think I don't like sitting in traffic and ways will send us the sitting in traffic way for some reason. What Josh said was he knew that way was going to be longer and he was getting a sick kick out of you choosing it. I know I didn't say that at all that's why that's where he gets his kiss. He was he was he was gleeful about the thought that we would go the way that I wanted to go and that we would get stuck for like hours. That's incorrect. What I meant was thi it's wrong and I think we all do this in situations I think is much easier to be the person whose way is not chosen. So it wasn't that I wanted it to go wrong, it's that I didn't want to choose my way
Starting point is 00:25:53 and then that go wrong. Yeah, you're in the wrong. But you enjoyed it going wrong. No, I didn't say that. I said a lot about our relationship. No, but I do that. It's free. One-nil-widder, have you said under your breath? You go one-nil-widders. Let's put you in a situation, yeah? You and Lou can't decide over which restaurant to go to. They can both be shit. Or you'd prefer to go to Lou's option, because then you're in a win-win, because either it's a good restaurant or if it's bad. Lou has never chosen a restaurant in her life. She refused to choose because she can't handle the pressure. Exactly. Doesn't want the ball in the center of the pitch. Yeah, I don't want, I don't want the pressure of choosing the route to be on my shoulders.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Yeah. When Rose has already decided it's the wrong route. Because I'm in a no-win there. Yeah. I don't think I decided that it was the wrong. route I just thought are we're going to sit in that traffic again and I hate I just hate it. He's based on the one time you're caught in traffic in one spot which means you now avoid that spot forever. Well no I mean that one time was like a bit of a weird fluke situation it is I mean I can't believe
Starting point is 00:26:59 we're getting really really bogged down by the traffic issues on the Hacne Road. personally I'm that love love the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. I'm not that's that's that's th. th. that's that's tho. tho. tho. tho. thi thi. tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi th on the Hackney Road. Personally I'm that loving it. The more detail the better for me. It's that bit at the end of Victoria Park Road where it joins Cambridge Heath Road if you want detail. The full details, okay. And what's your problem with the way Rose drinks coffee? Yeah, you said that she sort of indulges in it and just sort of sits there drinking it rather just getting it down a neck and cracking on you said. That is absolutely
Starting point is 00:27:29 fair. Like I have one coffee a day and I want to sit and enjoy it and I want to sit and enjoy it and enjoy it and Josh gets to go down and make you a cup of tea in the the morning. Am I not allowed to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go out the their to go out. I to go to go to go to go to go their. I their. I their their their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the for about 20 minutes. I put on shorts the t-shirt to go down and make you a cup of tea in the morning. Am I not allowed to then get changed? Oh, I didn't. So what's your issue with a clothes, Rosie? Josh will often just get up and put on shorts and... Because I've got to go make the tea! You make that sound like I'm like, get up, make me tea. What's that sound that sound that sound that sound that sound that sound that sound the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee. to bea. to bea. to be to be the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I the the the their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tie. tie. tie. tie. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. Iea. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm treea. I'm treea. I'm tree. me tea you what's the reason that you stay in bed what's the reason you stay in bed tell Rob what's the reason because the cat is asleep on my back I mean that cat would be picked up thrown out the front door I go all right then I'll get rid of the cat it's genuinely my favorite part of the day well the cat wa the cat the cat the cat the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tthe tthe ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt is the the Well the cat sleep on your back? The cat comes in and sits on my back on my back and it's really relaxing. Oh I'd hate that. It's so nice. You said he goes down in like a shorts and tea shirt and he's downstairs, you go downstairs and then when you're getting the kids ready he has to go back up to get dressed. So I need to dress when we're going now to make the tea dress for my one outfit that's not the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I I I the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I need th. I need to to the the to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to dress. I to go to go to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. th. the's the's the's the's theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. they're not allowed to change. So you're on QR later, you're getting your QI outfit?
Starting point is 00:28:45 Get a steamer out, do my shirt. I think just something that you could, like trousers maybe, that you could leave the house in rather than like, oh, I just got to go upstairs and get changed and you're like, right, okay. Does he take long to get changed when he goes up? Is he a slow dresser? I have to brush my teeth and stuff because I'm not doing any of that before I go down and get... That is a classic there, isn't it? It's like I have to brush my teeth. That's like I have to brush my tea. I've got to brush my tea. I know what I mean, when I went to do it straight after you have a shit. I get up, I mean, I can't do all of this before going downstairs for the first time. I get up and I go into the bathroom and I brush my teeth and I put on all of my clothes.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Like I don't go, oh my god, I've got to brush my teeth, I've got to get up and... Maybe you haven't got someone with a won't sit on your back. That's not the reason. Oh dear, I'm enjoying this. Yeah. Also, great back catalog of mega hits. Mysterious girl will be a mega hit forever. I apologize about that. You know, it's funny because sometimes when we go places overseas and you walk into a nightclub,
Starting point is 00:30:02 I don't really go to clubs anymore, but when you walk into somewhere a bar or whatever and they play the song and people in other countries they have no idea who sung it, they just know the song. And I'll be sitting there moving along with it, dying inside. They're sitting next to me and they have no idea and it's quite funny. We will get on to the parenting. That video from mysterious girl. that thi I th. ththea ththa. ththa. ththa. ththa. ththa. ththa. ththa. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. that their their that that th. they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they's they's they's they's they's they're they're their. they're they're their the. the. theat theat thean. thou. thean. thean. thou. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. they're their thean. When did you get that ripped? Like how did that work? This is true story, right? I was picked on a lot as a kid because where I moved to in Australia it wasn't very multicultural. So we moved to this little place called the Gold Coast near Brisbane. And at the time it was all beautiful blonde head, blue-eyed Ozzie's and here accents and they weren't too keen on us and so we got picked on a lot and so what I used to do was these kids at school asked me what sport I liked and I said football because I'd just come from
Starting point is 00:30:52 England so moved there when I was sick and I said I support football and they you know and I was doing this and they went what soccer and I went yeah and they started laughing and this kid just cracked me one in a the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they they they their their they their th. they they they they their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were th th th th th th th th took took took took took took took took took took took took tho theee. thee the the the? And I went, yeah, and they started laughing and this cute just cracked me, one of the plays, oh no, wow. Yes, listen here, we don't do girls' sport team, that's a girl sport. And I thought that's a really odd thing. Incidentally, soccer back then, was huge with the soccer roost, which because then when the lionesses were smashing it here I was like yeah we remember the stock of roofs from back in the day who were
Starting point is 00:31:26 heroes but anyway because I couldn't belong to their sports because they were all playing cricket and rugby. They're all massive especially Gold Coast it's quite half a mouth. I know you're fucking soft cock they're fucking soft cock. Yeah Absolutely. What I did I'm a celebrity all the camera guys are from and they were like like I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're th th th th th thi. th th th thi th the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theythe camera guys are from, and they were like, right, mate, I've got an idea, I'm gonna fucking kidnap Joe Swash, take him out into the fucking bush, and fucking tape him up. And I went, mate, he's the presenter on the show, you're the cameraman, you can't nick, the presenter, he's their presenter, he's just having a fucking laugh. Sometimes they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't can't can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't be they can't be they can't they can't they can't be they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't theyir sports are hands. So they were being a bit mean to you and then you've got in shape did you? Yeah so I thought well I can't really hang out with them because the
Starting point is 00:32:11 ones that don't like me are playing all the sports that I can't be part of. So I used to go to the gym and sit there. My brother wouldn't let me lift any weights because I was too to to to to too. to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I would just just th. I would th. I would the. I would the. the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. the. the. the. the. And I the and I the and I the and I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and the and the and 'll do abs for an hour and a halfway with them lot to finish. And I would just literally do sit-ups, push-ups, push-ups. By the time I was 16, I'm like, geez, she's all right. That's how it happened. Really. Because it was also, it was in a time before abs, do you know what I mean? It was like, what was it, 93 or whatever year it would have been? In Love Island now, lots of people look like that. No one had those abs in those days.
Starting point is 00:32:46 You invented the ab. My dad thought it was plastic surgery. Did he? He thought that's not real. I've been asked to this day by a chest implac. And I thought, you know what? I wish they existed, man. It's not an easy job. The problem is you build a rod for your own back. Tell me about it. Because then years later, everyone else is looking ripped on these shuttowards and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:33:08 yeah. Yeah, I just, yeah, no. We have to do that with Joel Dommet. He's still ripped. He is ripped. But one day, he won't be. told you about your kids, Peter. bit like cockroaches there's loads of us. It all started from my dad who was his mom and dad, well his mom obviously, same dad was pregnant 17 times.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Wow! 17 times and I think only 13 survived at the end. Oh my gosh. Twelve ended up surviving. So dad's one of 12 eventually. Blame me. Then I'm one of sticks, so now anything under double digits we're thinking, oh, we're not, we're not succeeding. How many kids you've got on what are their ages? So we've got juniors, he'll be 18 in June. Can you believe it? Princess is 15, do you like how I'm taking ages to figure it out because I forgot their ages? Yeah. Amelia's nine and Theo's six. the thinks. Amn. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm've changed five sets of nappies in the last 20 years so I'm a dad pad. Yeah. Yeah. And obviously in previous relationships has been stepchildren and stuff like that. So for the last 20 years, kids have been ruling your life. I just want
Starting point is 00:34:15 Theo to get from the point where he could just wipe his own bum. I'm like, come on. I'm like, come on, please. That's 20 years of ass-wiping you've done nearly. I've been called an ass-wip, but to be doing it constantly, I understand why now. But it's difficult, having to have the 18 and 15-year-old and a boy and a girl are presenting way more different problems than a kid. Yeah. Obviously, sometimes, imagine having a teenage daughter, you'd much rather her to wipe her bum and put her to bed at six rather and her going out doing what she's doing. So how are you managing that having a little kid and then teenage problems? No, I'm going to be honest with you. I'd rather be a teenager than
Starting point is 00:34:51 me having to do all that again. Yeah, fair enough. It's the boyfriend thing and the girl thing so when junior was 15 and he started going out out out out out out out out out to to to to to the to to they. they. to they. they. I. I to be they. I they. I they. I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their, their, I to be to be th. I's, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I's, I's, I their their their, I their, I their, I, I, I, I, I they, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm going, I'm going, they. I'm going, they. I'm going, th. I'm going, thin, th. I'm going to be to be to be to be thin, th. I'm going, thin, thin, th. I'm going, thin, the asking, can I go see her? I was a bit like, I don't know. And all I remember Emily's saying to me was, whatever rules you have for junior, you're gonna have to have the same rules for princess. You can't do the old school mentality because I was old school. I grew up in a generation where our parents, they let the girls and I feel bad because my sister she went through so many years where she wasn't allowed to do things that us boys were allowed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:27 And it took me to have kids and for them to start growing up for me to go, yeah, I don't agree with that. Yeah. They have to be equal. So I used to joke that my daughter is going to be a nun even though I secretly wanted that that actually whatever rules I set for junior at 15 I had to set for her at 15 and now she's 15 and I'm going oh my gosh and I'm starting to get scared but I think we're handling it okay. You never know if you're doing the right thing you just hope for the best. You just hope for the best. And with the younger one so what they're six and that's a nice age, right? The best. So you're still bum wiping at six, because my youngest is five, and she still makes me wipe a bum on the toilet and I'm like, this has got to stop.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Yeah. Yeah. I think five, six is... I think they're too old for that. And I'm doing it as well, I'm not criticizing you, Peter. I'm wiping as a foreman at an age, at at, at the age, at the age, at the age, at the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, at thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and she thi, and she thi, and she thi, and she thi, and she thi, and th. th. th. And th. And th. And, and th. And th. And, and I's th. And, and I's thi, and I's thi, and I's thi, and I's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And thi's thi's thi's to to thi's to to to thi's to to thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's do the first three wipes. Meet me halfway. Yeah, coming as a foreman of the building site. Where I can just do the final checkover to go, yeah, you're fine. Yeah. And that might include me not having to do anything, because yep, you're good. Yes, exactly. Yeah. that's the process.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Maybe I suggest that. Yeah, yeah. But they won't meet me halfway and it's like they know all I hear is this. If mom's home it's mom, I'm done. If dad's own dad, I'm done. I know exactly what's happening. Right in the middle of my sandwich. Yeah. I'm the middle of a coffee. Yeah. And then I come back and I don't want to eat it anymore? I was very hands-on because again thinking back to my parents generation, my mom did all of that. Yeah, really? Yes, it was very much like, I love you my son, but you keep your ass wiping to yourself. I thought, nah, I think times changed. Yeah, of course. I like being a hands-on dad, I just didn't think it was going to be that hands-on. I can't imagine you as a disciplinarian, because you're such a nice bloke.
Starting point is 00:37:30 I wouldn't say soft, that's the wrong word, but you're not like an alpha male despite the abs, you know, so we used to get good walloping at school from the headmasters, you know, with canes and all that. Really? Oh yeah. How old are you? Are you like 93 but look unbelievable? I'll never forget this. I got the cane at six years old at school. It was the stick and it was right across there was the worst pain. I got it at high school in Australia and also in England when I was six I got they called it the Plym Soul pudding. You remember Plym Souls right? Yeah yeah like you almost went down. No no but it's not for dessert normally for PE. Not the headmaster the vice headmaster whatever the one underneath it used to get the Plymsol and he used to smack him we used to to get a plimsoil pudding if we were misbehaving. Oh my word. And that was one under the cave. So where would he hit you with the flimpsole?
Starting point is 00:38:28 Oh, you get a crack on the head, the bum, wherever. Yeah, you would get a plimsel. A clump. And so we called it the plimsoil pudding. And when I had kids, I thought, Should I buy some plim salts now? I thought if I give the look that my dad used to give me, because dad used to give me a look, right? Yeah. And I thought if I give them that look, is that going to stop them doing it? Or was it the smack that used to stop me doing it? Yeah. And I realized, my kids, because I've never raised my hands them ever, I realize that, I, I, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to give, to give, to give, to give, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th. th. the thi thi thi thin thin the thin the the the. theeee. theeeeee. theean theee. theean to me to me the the the the to them ever, I realized that that look and then feeling like they disappoint you sometimes is a worse feeling. Yeah. Because I remember if I disappointed that, the feeling I would have of disappointing him even now and I'm 50 and I still feel like I don't want to disappoint him. So I found a way to
Starting point is 00:39:19 navigate around it. So I disciplined them without ever having to raise my hand to them. Can we see the look? The look. Oh, do you know what it is? Because you're so smiling and likeable night, as soon as you stop smiling it, it does get quite stressful. It's got to be a bit of a denier like. Yeah, I started panicking. It instantly felt like the interview was going badly, Rob. It instantly felt like, I'm the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. to to to thathapape. thath. I thath. I's thath! I's thi. I's tho. I's thi. I's thath. I's because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I's th. I's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, because, because, that. that. th th that. th thooooooooooooo. th th th th thi. I's because again and I felt so relieved. Thank God for that.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Thank God for that. It was like, yeah, all right, we'll mention the book, Peter, we'll mention the book, okay? Yeah. I'll do anything but I'm not wiping your ass. So with the little kids, they're obviously like into school and stuff and stuff with them because it's hard to keep them all happy at those ages. May that is such a good point because you always see it around the 15 age where they start to not want to come to everything.
Starting point is 00:40:10 So junior at 15 he started being like, oh dad do you mind if I go see my friend or do you mind if I and I'm thinking I knew it was coming to that stage and now Princess is 15 and just the very first time in the last months there's a couple of family things we've done and she said, Is it okay if I don't go? So I get it, I get it because I was the same around that time so that's tricky. But if we all go for dinners or we do stuff like that, we always go together. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's nice. thi Christmas. thi Christmas. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Is thi. Is tho. Is th. Is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is th. Is th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th kids at yours for Christmas is that all brothers and cousins and because you're from a massive family are they all in the UK are they still Australia Greece all spread around yes a mom and dad they're not a witness so that I'll spread a told us that I'd celebrate
Starting point is 00:40:53 their story my mom and dad we grew up as Jehovah's Witnesses so that I don't celebrate it's a witness did you yeah I didn't know that I the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to they to they they to they to to they they to they to to to to to to they to to they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they're to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they don't celebrate Christmas. Oh wow. We never celebrated Christmas until I had kids. No way! I never celebrated 18, 19 years ago as the first time I ever celebrated Christmas. And what was that like that first time you celebrated Christmas? Ah, after how much I spent every Christmas, I'm like my dad was ripe. Were they a little bit put out that you didn't carry on being a witness?
Starting point is 00:41:24 Yeah, of course, of course, and and you that it it it it it it it it that it that it that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that out that you didn't carry on being a witness? Yeah, of course, of course. And you know what, it's a really tough thing because I love what I learned and I respect everything I learned and I'm not one of these people that leaves a faith and then talks against it because to be honest when I was bullied as a kid, the witnesses, they took us in, they were loving. They didn't care what nationality you were. It was just the same faith, I guess many faiths are similar in that way. So I've got nothing but love for it, but you know, you get to 16 and there's things you're not allowed to do before you married. And when you've got abs like that, you're fighting them off. You can't have abs like that. that. It's easy to be a Jehovah's a Jehovah's a j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j. It's easy to be to be to be to kiss a girl, leave it out, look it. And then you just sort of rebel because you're just kind of doing, you know, you're not allowed to do anything.
Starting point is 00:42:10 And funny enough, even then, when all that started happening and I left, I still never celebrated Christmas because I didn't really know how to. Yeah, of course. I used to get on a plane on Christmas Day to fly back to Oz because it was the quietest flight. Yeah, of course. And so I used to always fly on Christmas Day so I never celebrated it and then had kids and I was like, but here's the thing right? Yeah. When Junior wants a pair of trainers that are more than what you would buy 500 presents for Minnie and Theo, The traders are the same price. It's like you end up buying your older kids one main present. Yeah. And your
Starting point is 00:42:50 younger kids like 30 or 40. So I say to them, look guys, wouldn't you rather have 10 or 15 small presents or one big one? What do you think they go for? One big one? Cash. Yeah, cash. Yeah, cash. Yeah, exactly. Have you ever tried to sneak your parents over for Christmas without telling them, I'm like going, hey, what are you doing on the full Saturday in December? Might have a bit of dinner. You don't mind turkey. I say that to mom and she says, when on this day when Jesus Christ was, I said, all right. that okay, I get it. She knows her days, mate. Don't mess with mom. So did you have to go door to door when you were a kid?
Starting point is 00:43:31 Yeah, I sure did. Wow. And actually, when I was about 15, there was a girl I'd really like, and I was like, we were seeing each other and there was, I was thinking I was thinne, I remember I was getting to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to go a toe, toe, toe, toe, I was thinking, I can't, you're not allowed to sit on the fence. I remember I was getting to a point of thinking, oh, you know, maybe I need to go my own way. And then someone said, yeah, but you're a Michael Jackson fan. I'm like, yeah, of course, like he was my idol back in those days. And they said, well Prince, you know, Prince, I don't know if you know this, but Prince was a witness too. Right. And so you would think, well, if they're doing it, I'll do it. Yeah. But then a year or so later, it just, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm sweating. I've just literally done a marathon back from Sainsbury's. This is the start we want. Let's just start. the togu-up. th. the start th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that the kids need yogurt. It's always
Starting point is 00:44:27 fucking yogurts, isn't it? Yes, I've got a very bad sense of time when it comes to trying to pack kids activities in in the morning. I was like, yeah we can go to a soft play, Sainsbury's and make it back in 45 minutes. But that's the one show mentality. You can pack anything into half an hour on the one show. Well exactly, and it spills over into my other life because now I've got this and then I've got an hour of skateboarding with my three-year-old because that was the only way I could get him into nursery this morning. I was by saying right if you go in I will take you skateboarding at 1.30 and he was like okay mama and now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now. I I the to the to to the th. I to th. I th. I to to th. I th. I'm to go. I'm to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go go go go. to go. to go go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. thi. thi. I. th. I. at 1.30 and he was like, okay, Mama. I now see I'm locked into that.
Starting point is 00:45:06 I don't want to go. And then you've got to go and take the youngest to a badger, Carl. And then the eldest is going to a protest about the expansion of a dump. It's non-stop. Honestly. So I'm really, like now, the one show, not Alex Jones from the internet, the bad man from America who shares your name. Was that problematic when he became famous? Oh I can't even tell you Josh. I mean the amount of messages I've got suddenly I'm banned from Twitter and I feel that I didn't do anything.
Starting point is 00:45:42 But I was just like responding to messages that were meant for him going guys. I'm like the nice one off the one show, leave me hello. And then they banned me as well. Nice. They banned all Alex Joneses basically. Yeah, so now just to cover all bases, me and my namesake band but I mean I get why he is, but you know I'm quite nice and normal. Yeah. Well we've got the better Alex Jones so we're very very very very very very th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the th. the th. the the th. I thi the the the nice. I th. I the nice the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I'm like the nice. I'm like the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the nice. I the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the thi. I'm the but you know I'm quite nice and normal. Yes. Well we've got the better Alex Jones so we're very happy about that. I think you're on probably the most popular show on TV but I also think along with that you are the most underrated TV presenter we've got because the one show is so smooth and just flies through when I did Saturday Kitchen with you the other day I was like, you are
Starting point is 00:46:25 hilarious. I don't think people give you enough credit for being really, really funny. Do you think that's fair? That's really kind. Yeah, when you slammed me for being a vegetarian, I thought, do you know what, you wouldn't have got that with Tim Lovejoy. He'd have been thinking it, but he wouldn't have said it. The thing is I think there's there there there there there there there there there there there there's there's there's there's there's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the to be to to the to to to thee to thee to the to the theee thin''' the thin' thin' think there's not much room for personality to creep out on the one show sometimes. It's so packed in that if you have got a funny thing to sound it, the next thing's coming so quick you haven't got the time for the full Alex Jones to be unleashed. That's probably a good thing to be honest. You know, we're working within a tight, rigid kind of time frame and I think probably is for the best in some regards. But like I feel sorry for when
Starting point is 00:47:05 comedians come on because it's quite a hard show to because you feel under pressure I guess to be amusing. I love the show but I find it so hilarious because you do the jumps between the things so seamlessly like it's normal and for a comic you just want to go what's happening but you can't you don't know thrown. No I find it quite fun. how many kids have you got Alex I have got a good idea to think then I've got three so how many part-time presenters have you got also I think three to be honest like presenting the one show at one point during the pandemic was a bit like being on Tinder so I would not know really who was going to be there the next day and it was a bit of
Starting point is 00:47:46 a swipe right swipe left. Were they good? Were they not? And now we've narrowed our choices down and committed long-term relationship to Ronan and J.J. Roman Kempi. Yeah. Who I love, but I'm going to have to have a stern word after the vest of the Brits, I feel.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Yes, you wear a vest at the Brits. Like what you're doing? Are you young Cornedgey or you now on the one show? No offence, Alex. But there's a bit of a gap, is it there? You can't wear a vest their and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. th a knitted, a knitted vest on. No one will take you seriously for sad VTs if your nipples have been on ITV the night before. But he's brilliant. The thing with Roman is like he's kind of like an old man disguised as kind of a trendy for something. Yeah. Like he loves all the stuff. He like loves all the loves like history and stuff and yeah he's disguised it quite well but now the one show can be like a care home also sometimes. He also blends well in that environment. Well I did present it with you a couple of times. What I struggle with is you know
Starting point is 00:48:59 exactly what you're thinking when you look at my face. So if we're coming off the back of something that's quite heartfelt. You haven't got that in your locker. I I I I I I I what I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I's their. I's is is is their. I's is their. I's is just. I's is just. I's is just. I's. I's. I's their. I's their te. I's te. I's te. I've. I've. I've. I've their one. I've their one. I've their one. I've their. I've their. I've we're coming off the back of something that's quite heartfelt... You haven't got that in your locker. I ain't got that in my eyes tell a different story to the words. That's the problem I find sometimes. So I live and die by what's on the show that week. I think you are really good on it and actually our viewers are such lovely, lovely people and that I think they quite like having a bit of a change the the the the the the the the the thea thea thi thi their thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi... thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. to to to to to thi. I's thi. I's thin. I'm thi. I'm just just te. I'm just te. I'm just te. I'm just te. I'm just te tell you tell you tell you tell you tell tell tell tell tell tell think they quite like having a bit of a change as long as it's a nice atmosphere. Yeah. It's fine. Do you think we're ever going to get to the kids bit? That's it. It turns out that me and Rob are so interested in the one show. Well, it's a phenomenon, isn't it? I mean, I can't believe it. I love how interested you are
Starting point is 00:49:37 and I love your passion. I've got one more thing I do want to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say about the one show, which is what people don't know is in the auto cue when you've got a big change in brackets it will say tone change. Yes. Yeah or sometimes in big letters sad. We'll be jolly me and whoever and we'll be going, oh you know and that wasn't it funny with and then you have to rearrange your face so quickly. Yes but that's why you're absolutely pro Alex. Have you heard that clip of the Irish show? This I'd say is the absolute king of how not to do it on the one show. Yes, this is exactly what you're talking about Alex. Listen to this. I don't know if you've seen this. And you're very welcome back. Now, author Seamus O'Royle. th is is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei. thei. thei. thei. thee. the. the. Ten siblings sadly lost their mom. Oof. He could feel he got off.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Oh my goodness. But he can see the auto cute. He's the other presenter. Yeah, but it's a classic case of he didn't see it coming, did he? He was up to your in joy and he couldn't pull it back. There there. He needed. Now, how many kids do we got Alex?
Starting point is 00:50:46 We've got there. It's 10 minutes of. We've got three. They are six, three and one. Oh, that is a tough. Rob, it's fully wind tunnel. It's fully wind tunnel. I've not heard that phrase before wind tunnel.
Starting point is 00:51:02 We're in the wind tunnel tunnel tunnel tun wind tunnel. We're in the wind tunnel or it feels like on a treadmill that's at a speed that's not manageable and I can't get off. Oh, three is, it scares me. You work like early evening afternoon. What time do you have to leave to get to work? So I go at about 2.30. So what's your schedule looking like before you leave the house? Well, so this morning we've already got one to school, one to nursery who didn't want to go, pushed me over into the coats. I had Oscar's hook wedged into my cheek. He was holding on so tight that I couldn't get him off me. It took two people. Poor Kit. I mean,
Starting point is 00:51:38 he's up and down, Little Kit, middle child. And so got back from there, then got Annie the little one into a buggy, ran, got to a soft play where I was meeting two friends, sweating, had a quick coffee, knocked it back, played with her for a little bit to feel like I'd done something, put it back in the buggy, went to St. Bree, shoved loads of things under the buggy, paid for them very quickly, ran back, I'm here. Right, okay. We'll be done here about one o'clock and then you've got an hour half before you go to the one show. No, so what happens then, three-year-old would only go into nursery if I would take him skateboarding. So we've got skateboarding between 1 30 and which point I have to get in the car to leave. It's all very tight. Yeah. And then you leave and you go to the One Show. Now let's talk to you about the One Show.
Starting point is 00:52:26 So is that a typical day before the One Show? Yeah, that's a typical day. So Kit is our middle child and he's relentless. Relentless. He is like having four children. Okay. I think I told you a story on Saturday Kitchen. A few weeks ago we picked him up from nursery and I needed some bits from
Starting point is 00:52:52 IKEA and I made the mistake, huge mistake of taking him with me. Yes. And he threw a walk down the end of it. Honestly I can't even tell you the noise that made. And my husband was with me and he walked away. Well, wait a minute. I'm the one on the tele, you stay. I walked away. Turns out we both walked away, left into it.
Starting point is 00:53:22 This is very typical behavior for him. He is another level. If you like Josh Winnacom, you're in luck. That's because the co-host of Parents in Hell and the Last Leg Maestro is the guest on the first episode of the Always Be Comedy podcast, out now and with me, your host and MC Always Be Comedy, James Gill. Each week, the cream of comedy curates their fantasy comedy gig.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Who'd open, who'd close? What gig nightmare do they never want to relive? All this and much, much more. It's essentially comedy gossip and chat. You know, I remember this the other day, my first ever gig. Oh, it was like a Friday night, open mic night. And they said, we'll we we we we'll we'll we'll we'll wee, we'll the, we'll the, we'll the, we'll the, we'll open mic night and they said we'll just announce you on when you're on we haven't got a running order it's a bit free for them. I got to the end of the night and then they wrapped it up and they'd forgotten to put me on. And I'd sat there the whole night.
Starting point is 00:54:16 We've also got Stuart Lee, Harry Hill, Genie, the Maisie Adam, Al Marie, Rachel Paris and many many more coming up. That's the Always Be Comedy podcast. Out now with new episodes every Tuesday. Has it gone up since you've had the third? Like classic middle child syndrome or has you always been like this as an individual? He's always been a handful. And now you're giving him less attention. Yeah, it's cranked up. So he is a kid who, despite me dipping it in sugar, would never have a dummy. Didn't want it, didn't want to
Starting point is 00:54:52 comfort her, nothing, nothing doing. And so this sounds awful, and I'm not even sure how to explain this in an audio situation. But he will put his little hand around my bra strap and pull it like hell. Which comfort him. So all night, this goes on. Wow. All day. Yeah. Really? And so is he sleeping in with you?
Starting point is 00:55:14 I don't. Okay, so what's a sleeping situation, Alex? Talk us to six to one. I don't think I've slept in six years. Not a full night. Definitely not. So they've been pretty bad sleepers touch wood apart from Annie. What are you touching wood for? They all been pretty bad sleepers, touch wood. As if like, oh no, I wouldn't want that to change.
Starting point is 00:55:38 I'm that tired. I'm not even making sense. Annie is OK. She's in a today. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She's in her own bed. Yeah, she's in a cot, so she's in a baby jail, she can't get out yet. In a different room. In a different room. When we had our first child, we were like, are we not those parents that they're going to sleep in our bed? By now, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Whatever. I will do anything to have some sort of semblance of a few thosehoursours thosesesesese of thuuolousousousousousousousousousousousousousous. to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe, I I toe, I toe, I toe, I toe, I toe, I toe, I toe, I toe, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. th. toe. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toe. toean. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. I do anything to have some sort of semblance of a few hours here and there. I don't care. And if we have no relationship left, that's fine. Something's got to give. Because if you're not sleeping you'll do anything. I mean last night I slept in four different beds. That's it for this special best-of episode. I'm Natalie Cassidy and I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time and here it is. I'm gonna be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly, you. I want to talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile and
Starting point is 00:56:53 how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people. So get on board, become part of to to to to laugh. Hello, it's me, Jessica Knappett, and Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Brand new podcast alert. I've got a new show for you. It's called Perfect Day. And yeah, you've figured out the premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart, and because it's obvious. Every Thursday I interview a guest about what constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams, fantasies and sweet memories, you're going to love this stuff. Ah we have got so many lovely funny nice people on.
Starting point is 00:57:43 You're Dolly Aldertens, your Dolly Alderton's, you Jamalie Maddox's, Arabella where she's doing it, don't worry about the quality of the guest, just worry about when you're going to listen to it. Or don't worry about when you're going to listen to it. Just actually listen to it. Jess Napp it, signing off, wishing you a perfect day. Perfect day. Perfect day on all your favorite podcast platforms.

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