Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell... Volume 9

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

As we take a very short break for the new year here's a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  We’ll see you next week for the start of Series 8!!  Episode Playlist: S4 EP8 - Adam Buxton S5 EP18 - Myleene Klass S5 EP10 - Brian Conley  S5 EP32 - Giovanna Fletcher S4 EP12 - Jermaine Jenas Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

I'm going back to university for $0.00. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may be free, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitakum.

And you're listening to now. That's what I call parenting hell. to the podcast before we start. Have you done a podcast before? Do you need any pointers explanation of how it all works or you're good? I am I able to swear? Yeah as much as you want. So what how many kids you got? What's your kid set up? I'm pretty sure I've got three. Yep. I've got there's a girl. There's a girl. There's definitely a girl. She's nice and she seems to like me. There's two boys, one of them's keener on me than the other one. They're teenagers. The oldest one has gone off to university. Oh wow.

Last year, studying music production. That was a big deal because we really thought that he was never ever going to leave the house. And I don't think he wanted to leave the house. The middle one is quite different. He's 17 now. In the best possible way, he doesn't give a shit. I mean, that's a quality that is sometimes a source of anxiety and worry for the lad. And also frustration when the lad doesn't do anything or want to do anything Or do what you say or what you suggest, but then other times I do think actually that's kind of a super power

If you genuinely don't give a shit and you're not horrible which he's not he's a nice guy And he's like he's a nice guy and he's got one or two talents. He's quite musical. I think that that's a pretty good way to be????????? th. th. th. the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the they. the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th he's quite musical. I think that that's a pretty good way to be, because I was the opposite. I gave a shit about everything. And it was, you know, crippling. How does not giving a shit manifest itself? Give an example of him not kind of giving a shit. Well, he doesn't seem to be, I mean, I've got to be careful not to malign him unfairly but he doesn't seem overly worried about his academic progress at school or lack thereof. Yeah and the whole

revising for exams thing, no he's not too worried about that. He's got it down. He's like it's fine it's fine it's fine I'm gonna do it at the end. This is how I do it okay it's like he pretends that he's got a system. He's like, no, you idiots, you don't understand. The system is, I do it the night before. That's how I do it. And then we say, yeah, but you failed all of those exams. I know because I didn't do it that time. This time I'm going to do it the night the night the night the night the night the night before the night before the night before the night before the night before the night before the night before the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thia' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. It's thi This time I'm going to do it the night before and it's going to be fine. I went to school in central London right next to Westminster Abbey and I remember wandering around in St. James's Park just before my A-levels with a bottle of whiskey in my pocket thinking,

my life is over because I am not on top of these exams and I don't know what's going to happen to me and the school I went to, they drilled it into you that you better pull your socks up Buxton because otherwise you can forget about the rest of your life. You know, if you don't get into this university or that university, that university, that's it, you're done. I really believed it, you know, and it's such a bad bullshit. So your son doesn't care about that kind of stuff, but obviously you were kind of tormented by it. Do you find it difficult to let go of that yourself?

Do you find yourself putting pressure on him with that, or do you feel like you can step back and let it just unfold? Well, I'm definitely the cop bad cop dynamic that my wife and I adopt like many other parents I'm definitely the cop that's saying hey it's fine you're gonna be fine don't worry about it Whereas she's much more on top of all their educational stuff. I really do think that too much pressure is put on Children and this idea that if you don't get the right exam results. It's all over is bullshit. I appreciate that You know we're very lucky. You. We're, that. that. that. that. th th that. th th th th th th the. th the, the that. the th the th th th th the the th th the the th th the th the th th that that that's the the thi that's that's that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th thi thi the thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the too-co. the co. the co. the copp. thoo. thooo-co. tho. tho thi thi that if you don't get the right exam results it's all over is bullshit. I appreciate that you know we're very lucky in all sorts of ways they've got a safety net our children and there's all kinds of ways that they're spoiled and we're going to be there for them and not everyone is in

that fortunate position so the stakes are higher and the stakes are high for our children as well. You know I want them to do as well the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the th. th. th. to to to the the the the to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to to to be. I. to to be. I. I. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be to be to be. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be tote. totea. totea. totea. totea. tote. tote. totea. totea. totea. totea. totea. tote higher. And the stakes are high for our children as well, you know, I want them to do as well as they can and to do some work and understand that you do actually have to try at things for things to happen. You can't just expect everything to come to you. But at the same time, it is not all over if you screw up your exams, you know. Yeah. Also, sometimes you don't have to try it try it try to to to to try it to to to try it to to to to try it to try to to try it to try it try it try it try it try at try out try at try at try at the the the the the the the their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to to th. And th. And to try hard. Genuinely with certain things, obviously you have to put effort in with things, but for me, like with certain stuff, if I try hard, I ruin it. So you do have to make sure you're putting all the effort in in the right places, but just by staring at a page for 12 hours doesn't mean it all help. You know what I mean? Sometimes I think people can't be coerced out as well where some people naturally are better if they're more rested and chilled and relaxed than being so crippled with the pressure of it. Yeah exactly and also it sometimes seems as if all you're training them to do is play a certain system that actually doesn't equip them with all that many skills for what's really important in life. You know they still don't teach

all sorts of very basic things at school. I think they're beginning to do it a bit. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to the the the the the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like their their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr---s. thr-s. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. thr-s, t still don't teach all sorts of very basic things at school. I think they're beginning to do it a bit more. You know what I mean? Like relationships? How to open a bank account? How to do your washing, how to feed yourself properly. But you know, there are more of those elements creeping into education now, I get the impression. And they're beginning to talk about like oh you know treat people with respect and do all that sort of stuff but still there are yawning gaps there that are filled with just a load of stuff that you learn by rote that you're never going to use. Totally agree obviously you went to a school which was very proper and about results and all that kind of thing. Yeah Who the fuck goes to school in Westminster? Where's this Gaff? Oh, they're rude of it. You're not going to believe what it's called, Rob. I can tell you what it's called.

You said it in the word. Westminster School. Yeah, this was an expensive private school that my parents got me into, that my dad was very excited to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get hotels at the right time you can get quite a nice room for a lot less. I think that's what he got with Westminster and as a result I started a term later. Oh right. Did you have siblings as well Adam? I did yes I was the oldest of three no they didn't go there. The thing with my dad which I wrote about in my book was that he kind of overreached financially and he ran

out of money. It's a lot of pressure on you. Yeah, I basically emptied the pot. Oh fuck, that's a lot of pressure. It was a lot of pressure. It was a lot of pressure. I mean, my brother and sister did start to go to similar schools, but yeah, he had to take my brother out. And he never really for gave the the the the to to to to to to to to forgive to to to to to to to to to the to to their to to their their to to their to their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their pressure, their their their their their their pressure, their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their. I their. I their. I their their their. I their their. I their. I their. I the. I was the. I was thr. I was thr. I was tr. I was try. I was try. I was toea. I was thea. I was throoooooooes. I was a their their thr there was a lot of pressure on me that I didn't feel at the time.

Oh my God, no one, you got a bottle of whiskey on the guy in the park. Exactly. But then later on I really did feel like me waggling toys on Channel 4 and doing poo and fart jokes is not what my dad was imagining when he spent all his money and ruined his marriage by sending me to an expensive school. But you got him on the show? Was that a kind of, was that a nod to it? That I've got my dad on the TV show as a kind of slight payback?

100%? Yeah, it definitely was. That was one of the big things I was thinking was like, here you go, Dad. You see it wasn't a total waste of money after all. and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, th all, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the the the th. th. th. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. And I used to love it when we did, this is, I'm talking about a show called the Adam and Joe Cornish used to do on Channel 4, and my dad who was then in his mid-70s was drafted in to be our kind of youth correspondent. And we'd go off to festivals with him and he'd review records and hip-hop and the spice girls and all sorts of stuff. You know, the joke was, ha ha, here's this posh-old guy and he's totally out of toucest with

this stuff, but it was funny to hear him rant about it because he hated it all. Are you going to sue Jack Whitehall for stealing your idea or just leave it? Well, I don't think we invented the idea of getting your parents involved with fun shenanigans. The thing about Jack Whitehall is that he's always on screen with his dad. I never really was. We always just used to leave him to it my dad. But I really did think here we go look I've come good after all that money you wasted at the school here we are on TV because he liked being on TV my dad. Well he was a writer wasn't he had a wine critic kind of thing, is that right?

Yeah exactly. He was a travel writer and he wrote about wine, yeah that was his big passion and he loved walking. Travel and wine is all very sort of like, about money and sort of like, you know, there's always a next level up and I suppose he sort of translated that into school in as well where that school is probably one of the best in the country, I imagine. Yeah, he came from a big working-class family in Sussex and his parents helped to run an estate for a wealthy family. They basically had it drummed into them that they would do anything they could to be part of the establishment, you know, that they would move up the social ranks. And so my dad always aspired to being part of what he saw as the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the right the up the social ranks and so my dad always aspired to being part of what he saw as the right people and the right environment and go

to Oxbridge and read the right books and plus he was a clever guy who worked really hard so it's not as if he didn't belong there you know what I mean it's not as if he didn't have what was required. How does that reflect then kind of upbringing that you've given your kids? What do you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tak tak th th th th th th tak th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a that that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thus thus thus that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the. the. theauuuuu-au-a' thoooooooo-a that reflect then kind of upbringing that you've given your kids? What do you take from that and then place onto them as a parent? I'm raising them to be working class. Because that's what everyone aspires to now. Everyone hates posh people.

So I'm bringing them up as East Enders. Jelly deals for breakfast, stuff like that. Yeah. Rosey's your dog by th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, th and then, th and then, th and then, th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and thi's thi's thi's thi, thi's thi. And that. that. thatea. thatea. thatea. thatea. thateatea. that, that, thi. thi. thi that. Yeah. Swap Rosie for a whip it. That's right. Rosie's your dog by the way, not your daughter, just to confirm to the listeners. Hello, Mylene Klaas. How are you? I like that intro. That was great.

Thank you. Been up all night writing it. It's not too're like, you're sat there while they intro you and they're reading out all the credits and stuff. It's just an awkward start. Do you know what? You're absolutely right, so thank you. So thanks.

Author, musician, member of hearsay? ever you like I have nothing to hide. Well should we start with how many kids you got? That's the classic. What's your kids set up, Marley? Okay, so I've got a 15 year old. 15. I've got an 11 year old. Okay. Boys or girls? Are they both girls? Both girls.

Yeah. So Aver's 15 here is 11. And then I've got my baby boy who's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th... I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th, th. I'm, th, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm three. How comes the Apollo to Snoopy? Yeah. Well when I was pregnant I put a piece of paper up on the door because I wanted all the kids just you know to really feel involved because my partner he has two children too so we're a blended family of seven all in. I know I know honestly it's chaos. But I I thought let's let all the children feel children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children children the children the children the children the children the children the children the the the the the the the the the their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I the the the the tho. I the the thooooooooooool. I the the the the the the thooooolooloolo. I was to let's let all the children feel really involved in this and write down any name that you want to call the baby. I don't know who the culprit was, but somebody wanted to call him Snoop Dog. And I was like, don't be so ridiculous.

We're not going to have a baby called the Snoop Dog. And would you believe it, it's what stuck? So he's been given like like like like like like like like like like like like like like this like this like this like this this this the god, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, I their, their, I their, th. I th. I's thi. I's to thi. to thi. to thi. to thi. to thi. to to thi. to to to to to thi. Apollo, we've given him that name and nobody uses it. Snoopy. Amazing. I'm just calling Snoopy. His teachers, his little nursery teachers. He calls himself Snoopy. That's incredible.

So do you think that will stick when he goes to school? I'm guessing so. It's the only dancers too. That's how he introduces himself. It's a little snoopy. So how, because you've got, so all the kids in your house, so they split between other houses with like different parents? So the three are permanent residents to come and go and then there's myself and my partner and I'd like to say we're permanent residents too.

How old are the other two kids? Also 15 and 11. So how spoil is Snoop getting having all these sort of older kids and parents around? If he's got to be the little golden boy. If he ever learns to tie his shoelaces by 21 it will be a miracle. He went to a phase of not even speaking. It was kind of just hmm. We just, well look he's a rainbow baby so we are, we're all obsessed with him. What's a rainbow baby? The rainbow baby is the baby that you get at the end of the rainbow after you've had miscarriages and I had four miscarriages. So to get this baby he was, you know, obviously all babies are very, very precious but I was just willed over the finishing line. We were so worried to the to the loss. The minute I held him in my arms, I didn't even believe I was having him.

I didn't dare to believe I was having him. Did you, was it, I mean, we've gone quite heavy, quite early. Was it difficult to keep the the their their to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep their to keep to keep their??? to keep their. their. to keep their, their, to keep their, their, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, I. their, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to. to. to. toe. toda. today, today, today, obviously, obviously, today, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, I'm, I it, I mean, gone quite heavy, quite early, was it difficult to keep going with their points when he thought, we're not gonna do this? All the time, because I spent, I spent four, you know, to have four miscarriages when you've had two, you know, seemingly, very straightforward pregnancies, it just, it rattles you. I think anybody who's ever been through anything, you know, remotely like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, that, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, to, to, to, to, th, to, th, th, to, th, the th., they, th. I, th. they, thin, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, to, they, th.'s ever been through anything even, you know, remotely like that. You know, one is awful, four is just looking into giving up. Oh my, I can only imagine. We had one and that was horrific and then the pregnancy after that,

there's no joy in the pregnancy after that. We found... Absolutely not. It's like every time you go to the loo, you just think, you're scared just to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to the loo, you just think that you're scared just to go to the loo. You just don't know what you're going to find. And I think, you know, you just forever worried. If you feel a movement, you're worried. If you don't feel a move, you're worried. I don't know if you had to experience, you know, all the injections, you know, everything I could possibly take it because I just didn't want to take any chances. But we got him. But you've got him and he's called Snoopy against your wishes. That's why he now just sort of he just floats a loft on this. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm just I'm just I'm just you know sneak into his room at night and just I'm just I'm just you know sneak into his room at night and just stroke his head and smell his hair that you know that baby smell that you're just trying to just still hang on. Are you done that though would you go again or is it too much stress come up from what's happened before? I you know what on a serious note I don't think I could do it I couldn't tempt fate like that again? I just I to th a to to the to to to the to to to the to the to th. I to to th. I th me me me me me me to to th. I to th. I to to to to to to to to tho. I to to the. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me. I'm to me. I'm to me. I'm to me. I'm to me. I'm to me. I'm to me. I'm to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. I'm to the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I'm they. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thr. I'm try. I try. I'm try. I try. I'm just just just. I'm try. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm to. I'm to. I could do it again. I couldn't tempt fate like that again. I just I don't think I could do. I think I got my lot. I really did. And from a practical consideration, I don't think there's a tour bus big enough now. Maybe I'd be anywhere. I had to get a bigger kitchen table, a bigger dinner table to fit everyone around it. So just from a practicality. So just from a practicality. I just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, to, just, the practical, th. th. th. the practical, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from a practical, from a practical, from a practical, from a practical, from a practical, from a practical, from a practical, from, from, from, from a practical, th. th. th. th. the practical, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, the practical, thi, to, thi, thi, from a practical, from, from,. It's like the circus coming to town wherever we go. How do you genuinely, what are the practicalities of going

from A to B with five kids? Yeah you have to be so organized and I always have a master point, not joking in case anyone gets lost along the way. So what, how big is your car? What are we looking at? Previa? How big? How many seats you've got? Sometimes we just Well, sometimes we just have to just go in sort of in a rotation, or drop someone at the tube or there's just a... All right. Yeah, well, we're not, we can't do the 80s anymore. Where you just throw someone in the boot, just doesn't really work that one. So we have to just really, you know, with with with with with with with the 15 with with the 15 with with the 15 with with the 15 with with the 15 with the 15 with with the 15 with, with, with, with the 15, with, with the 15, with, with, with, with the 15, with, with the 15, with the 15, with the 15, with the 15, with the 15, with the the 15, the 15, their, thi. thiats, to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, thi, their, their, the., the.. We will, to thi. to thi. to thi. thi, thi, thi, I've got with the 15 year olds it's a little bit easier because they, you know, they're a bit more independent but it is like I said, you have a real practical consideration how to move everybody. It's like it is like kettling rather than raising. And how do you jump between like a three-year-old and then teenage girls? Oh my goodness, if you figure it out, I'm all is. It is, it's really really real challenge because I think people have this idea of who

you have teenagers and they're going to be this one way and you have toddlers and they're going to be this other way. Actually, you're just dealing with independent people. You don't know what these little people are going to want or what they're going to be like. And I just think the most important thing really is with so many their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their. their thi. their thi. thi. I's thi. I's their their their their. I's their their. I's their. their. their. their their their. I's is. I's is. I's is their. I's is their. I's is their. I's is their. I's is their. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's their their their their the. I's the. I's te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. It's te. It's te. It's te. I'm te. I'm going. It remind them that your team children, that's it, whatever they need, whatever they need, whatever they need in their lives at whatever time, they just need to know that you're supporting them. That's the best thing I can do because it's just, most definitely, it's not one size fits all. And you've got all my children, the children, the children, their children, th. thiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their most most most most most, their most, their most most most, their, their, their most most, their, their, their, their, their, their, you know, all my children, they're very, very different. Yeah, they're very different. We've got things obviously all in common. We all, you know, make music together. I've managed to pass on, you know, piano lessons that they all seem to love,

and I love doing that with us together because I made my own band. But then, you know, my elder she's like some chemistry wizard. the chemistry chemistry chemistry chemistry, the chemistry, the chemistry, thememememememememememem, th. She's like, th. She's like, th. She's like, th. She's like, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi's thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We's thi, thi. We's, thi, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's th. We's, th. We's th. We's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's not thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. We's not thi. We's got no clue. I can't help her. Absolutely. None whatsoever. My 11 year old, she's like comedian slash wants to make clothes for the drag queens. He's on her own trajectory and then obviously there's the Emperor the Golden Child who do whatever. Welcome to the podcast Brian Conley. I'm very excited about this Brian. I'm I've got moist. I'm very excited and I would like to apologize for my visual thing that you'll see you. You've got line down the screen. Do you know what you say apologize we just had some the classic mute problems on zoom and you're when you're speaking we you and your face was so funny I thought he's problems on Zoom. And when you were speaking, we couldn't hear you,

and your face was so funny, I thought, he's doing a bit. This is him doing like a kind of icon. I'm built for comedy. I've even got the comedy screen. Let me point out to the listeners. Yeah, when we were in lockdown, we just before lockdown, we bought this computer, whopper does the old fingerprint. you haven't got to do anything. But we never realized the blimming, so there's a cracking line down the middle.

Oh in the camera, yeah. I know. So, but I'm doing the one-shund. And my next door neighbor come around because they got a good computer and we couldn't get it on. So I'm in the middle there of the you know the great big sort of 20 about 20 screen with this blimming thing and you're right I do and people only when I was walking down through it going yeah all right Brian. I should take a photo of it so he could put it online. That line down your head. I've got it perfect. Well you've made it here so Brian what's how many kids? Let's let's start off with that. th. th. th. their. their. th. th. their. th. their. th. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. to the the to t. t. t. I'm t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. t. to. to. t. to. to. I'm t. I how many kids you got? Let's start off with that. Two kids. I have two girls. I've got Lucy and Amy. Lucy is, as you just saw, because of

my age, she's helped me get on this podcast. In fact, I have to say, this is very first podcast I've ever done it ever in my life. Oh, wow! Amazing! Yeah, here we go. What's the difference between radio and podcast? the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the the podcast. the thia podcast. thia podcast. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the-I the-I's the-I's the-I's the-I's th-I's the-I's the-I's th-I's th-I's th-I's the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s. Let's th-s, th-s, tho-s, tho-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-I's. You see, what's the difference between radio and podcast? Tell me that one. We don't have to, we don't have to play a song we can just babel on for as long as we want. There's no time restraints. No bosses as well. There's no man telling us what to do. We can say things like baum and poo. Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah, whatever you want to say it now. to say it's. their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. thin. thi. thin. to to to say it's to say to say to say to say to say to play. to play. to say to say to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. to play. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the the. the. the to to to to the. the. th I just said it, man. I never ever said it. I don't, I think there's people out there going, I can't believe it. It's good of getting the papers and everything. Did you work clean then completely, basically, all your stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you had to. When I was doing my show, I had a joke where, you know, I wanted to say bum, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to work, to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the to me, the the to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the to me, to me, to me, to mea, to mea, to bea, to get to to get the to say bum. And no one, and I can't believe it, you know, like now,

everyone can say fart, you know, you can say fart in Panama. You were never ever allowed to do that. But now it's very acceptable because I suppose the sort of rule is if you're, you know, a little kid going to school, you know, how would the teacher react? to their teathe, their, the the teacher, their, their, tha, tha, tha, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, threat, thin, thin, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.......... You. You, you, you, you, you, you.. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're, to, to, thin. You're, tha, tha, tha. You're tha. You're tha. You know, you're to tha. You know, you're to say, you're to say, you know, you're to to to, you're to, you was always the time to change. But then you also did have a TV show where you pretended to play the violin with your cock out? Well, no, yeah, there's something to lie that people worry that my penis had a nail on the end of it. No, it was my finger. I had the full song. I still do it in the main act. I have to say it's probably the best visual in the world. This whole song, the song the devil went down at Georgia. And when I hold the bow with my finger, they have that rock where the whole audits just

go forward. Yeah, that's so good. The trouble is I can never follow it. I'll do it. And he always takes me ages to get the blimmy thing on. so there's there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's the the their their their their their their is their is their is their their their their the ages to get the blimmy thing on. So there's this hiatus where I'm sort of trying to get the thing on. Anyway, yeah, so what were we talking about my kids? Yeah, your kids, yeah, sorry, we get the sort of gushing stuff out the way,

but I've always loved all your stuff. Well, we should say, we said on this podcast, I can't remember, you were doing a routine where you sort of had a pretend baby and a buggy and it was crying and then all the dangerous Brian stuff, I remember watching out on the tele, having the VHS and things like that and we all watched it as a family and absolutely loved it and that's my ideal comedy is when you can watch it with your nano and your brother your auntie everyone and everyone finds it funny, absolutely hero of mine so very very excited to be doing this Brian. You're the reason that that night is the reason Rob Beckett is here now. I left this stage early that night because I thought there's a weird kid in the audience with great the song he's smiling at me. Stage manager said you've only done 20 minutes I said that kid's shit in the life out of me. It's just teeth and hair what is that in the middle? What's. What's? What's? What's? What's? that's? that's? that's? the the the th. the the th. their their their th. their thi. their thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their thi. that's just. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I's th. I's their their their their their th. I's just. I's just. I's just. I's just. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their the. the. the. the theateateateateat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat thease. theat the. th in the middle? I remember that routine, I've still got, I never ever throw one prop away.

I love props, I love visual comedy, I think visual comedy goes right across the ball, young, old. You still got that pram then? Still got it up in the lock. What happens was the baby's come out, I had the baby made, it was the ugliest baby ever. the baby jodes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I's, I've that, th. th. th. th. th. I've th. I've th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. th. th. th. that, I's, I's, I's, I's, t. t. t. toge. toge. t. toge. t. t. toge. t. t. toge. t. toge. t. t. t. t. t baby made it was the ugliest baby ever, used to do a couple of baby jokes, then I put it in there and it was a very popular song that we are the world, we are the children, and then a little, and I used to put the baby in the prayer and then I had a little lever and the baby true and the baby thanks. I just thought I'd be lovely there, I just want to be the they they they I had kids, I don't want to relate to him at all my kid jokes, all my baby routine, when I get out of the house, I just want to forget those kids now.

At what point in your career did you have the kids? I was doing really well. And then it all went wrong on the kids. So how old are they now, Brian? So we've got Lucy who's 20 and Amy who's 25. Lucy works as an event manager, a very popular cinema chain, and Lucy wants to be a comedian. Oh wow. And she's a great singer and she's done a little bit of work, she's done a bit of acting, and she's got a pantomime. Oh, wicked! She's doing pantomime in Richmond. Their love of singing has always been there as well, but Lucy just says that extra really

wanted to be in the biz. And did you have your children come and watch you from an early age then? Well they both were. I've got them in the show with Pantamine. Amy is wonderfully talented, but she's never quite had that confidence to get out there. Lucy is slightly different. I think Amy takes after Anne Marie, my wife, and Lucy takes after me, but Lucy desperately wanted to be part of it. So I had, you don't have it now, but they used to have little teams of the babes, so you'd have 10 little kids that would be part of it. And I got her to be one of the babes and she would learn the dance routines.

But I always had another costume made because I've heard of people that, yes, they're 10 kids. They take one out while the celeb's daughter or son could do it. And then that poor child that was left out, obviously, because they didn't have a costume. But I went nope I want an 11th costume I want everything in 11s so that little loose can dip in and out and then right at the very end when I spoke about the bear the fairy would come out and we get Lucy when she was tiny and Amy would do this say about I don't know like about three or four and she would come out with the ferry with the bear

and give it to the child who's a similar age. And then I would go, Hello, what's your name? She goes, Lucy, and I go, how old are you? She would go, I'm three and three quarters. And I go, have we ever met before? And she go, no daddy. Do you want to do the intro Josh? So Rob always starts by saying do you want to do the intro Josh and then the intro is

literally, hello Giovanna, it's not an intro. Giovanna Flechia? It's like Queen of the Castle slash jungle. Yeah, but what we do, we'll do all that beforehand so you don't have to sit here and listen to us talking about your credits because that's weird when you have to do that..........., it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, is, is, is, is, is, is, it's to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is to to to to to to to to to to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is to, is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to us talking about your credits because that's weird when you have to do that. It is. It is it's a not thing. Yeah how are you? How are you and can you let our listeners know how many children you got? What's your child set up at home? My child set up is that I have three children, three boys, three boys, three boys? six and four. Nicely spaced. Boys? Yes. Three boys.

All boys. So we've just, well Josh has got a boy, I've got two girls and Josh's got one girl. I find boys a nightmare. That's interesting. Rough, rough and tumble, isn't it? I imagine if I had a little girl I would be like, God, those boys. Yeah. They are, I mean, I always call them quite feral but really they are just they like rough and tumble they

love being outside. Someone said to me once with boys you've got to treat them like their dogs they need to be outside they need to be walked they need to be fed and they need to sleep and as long as those three things are happening life's the the the the th. life th. life thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee they they they they they they they my child to a dog. And then now I'm like, no I'll get it. 100% I totally respect what that man was saying and follow that formula and life is good. So what would you do on a rainy day with three boys? Oh, go outside anyway. Go outside, get your wellies on. Hide.

Yeah, all just hiding this cupboard. And the life is good. You must be the s the s the s the s the s the s the s the s th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm the. I'm the. I'm to. to. to. tote. tote. tote. totall. totall. We's, tote. totally. totally. totally, I'm, I'm, I'm, I just hiding this cupboard and the life is good. You must be at the slightly like easy street as it were now at this point because they're not babies anymore, the youngest is four, so they're doing stuff themselves. Especially the youngest of three always is a bit more, you know, can do more stuff at four than the eldest would because they copy. Well they've started doing this great thing at the weekends, they do bu bu bu bu bu the middle one's called Buddy and literally we'll come down they'll be toast they'll be cereal they've done it for his brothers. Oh wow. And that that is amazing that was a total game change and one of the moms at school said that she used to pre-do the

cereal and just wrap it in cellophane like she should get the bowl that thoo, that's a much th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, they, they, they's tho, tho, tho-a, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they's they's they's thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thrown, thr-s, thr-s''lough, thoooooooooo-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, thr-s, way of doing it. But for us we're like just go and have fun, just go go and sort yourselves out in the best way that you can and you know that you're gonna come down, there's gonna be rice crisps everywhere, few cornflakes on the floor, they'll probably be a milk spillage, but in my head I'm also they've got to be a little bit independent and you know and leaning into that if they're enjoying it thrown. And they can't they can they can they can they can they can that they can they can thin they can thin they can thi they can they can thin they can they can thi they can thi thi thi thi. that that that tho tho tho tho thin. thin. the. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the an the an the an theean thean thean thean thean. the an thean. the an the an the up as well can't they? You know what I mean? Yeah that's the next step. Let's not run before we can walk Rob, come on. And so are you relaxed, so you're upstairs still in bed while Buddy's breakfast bars going on? What's your level's relaxation there? It's fine if there's no arguing going on then I am asleep? It's absolutely fine yeah and I know that you know the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if the whole, if their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the whole, if the whole, if they're the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their their their their their the's no arguing going on, then I am asleep.

It's absolutely fine. Yeah, and I know that, you know, the whole, if they're quiet, it means they're up to something. That is definitely true. Yeah. Absolutely true. However, they're also happy and they're not fighting each other because my kids have this inability to just walk past each other. The other child. They just just they are they are they are they are they are they are they are just they are just they are just they just they just they just they just they just they just they are just they just they just they just they are just they are just they are just they are just they are just they are they are they are they are they are their kids. their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. theateateateathe theateateathea. theate. theats. the. thii. thi. thi. thi. to hit the other child. They just can't, it's constant physical contact with them.

So if they are, you know, on a Saturday morning, if it is all nice and quiet and no one is yelping in pain or going, hey, this, then I'm happy. I'm happy to just lie in bed. We're trying until eight o'clock at the weekend. Oh, that's good. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's that's that's that's that's th. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that. I'm that. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are. they are. they are. they are. they are. they are. they are. they are. they are. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all. they're all. they're all all all all all. the. that. that. that. try. try. try. try. try. try. they're just just just. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they you were going to say 11. So some people who are our parents listening going 8 o'clock. That's what you dream of aiming for. Yes, because it used to be 5 o'clock. Yeah. So you know, A's a clock is a massive step in the right direction.

Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong on that. But I think you're, because you've got a one-year-old, you're still dreaming of the day where that's, th, th, th, th, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where it, where it's, where it's, where it's, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, the th is, th is thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th is is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, like, their their their their their, like, their, like, their, their, their, that. But I think you've got a one-year-old, you're still dreaming of the day where it's 11 or 12, but that never happens, I don't think. No. No. No. No. When it does, actually, it's their try to sleep, I'm their teenagers. their children, loo and up like a button early doors let's do something in your face they just have so much energy I think that

they fight a little bit but with the boys I've seen like on holidays and school and stuff they're just mad for it you sort of assume that we know like well you were one of four boys Rob were you fighting all the time yeah well my mom got put on a N SPS PC watch list because we used to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the to go the the the to go the the the the to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th their their the they they're they're their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they're they they're they they they're they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're to go to hospital so much, like banged heads. I mean that's the thing, the amount of times we've gone on, the night I went into labour with Max, so I'd had a, I don't know if this is TMI for your podcast, but, so I'd gone gone on in for a sweep that day, so things were happening. And I was doing like a frantic last minute sweep Buddy stood up on the sofa, one foot fell off the sofa smack bang straight into the coffee table, split his head open so we ended up going to hospital with him so that he could get his head sewn back together and

that is when my contraction started for the third child. So they are accident prone but that one was well ill times the worst. So. So. So. So the worst. So the worst. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did that's that's that's that's th. Did th. Did thi. th. Did th. Did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. He. He. He's the the the the the the the the to. He. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the they. the the the. He's the the ill times. That's the worst time. Did you move from A&E to the maternity bit of the hospital? No, because it's there I'm kind of a bit like well let's go home and see what happens. And also because I was so worried about Buddy who bless him he was actually okay. He was actually okay. So we went home and I tried lying down with him for a bit and then by 10 o'clock we phoned the grandparents on that actually. You need to come over. So by 12 o'clock we were on our way back to the hospital. That's a hell of a situation.

But the amount of times where we go to hospital for, you know, knees being split open, heads, it's just, you know, oh here we go, another scar? Yeah it's a bit like that, I am a little bit, come on, you're fine. Oh no you're not, the bone is broken, let's go to the hospital. Yeah you can't really panic I don't think. And also it does depend which child it is because they all need different things. Yeah, you know and so our eldest our the the their their their their their their their their their th. their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm all thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm theee. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I different things. Yeah. And so our eldest is a bit, he's very emotional and panics. So knowing for him, I've just got to be super cool and super calm, you know, and just kind of, and I don't do the whole kind of, it's fine, we just go and see the doctor, you know, all that raised kind of voice thing. So yeah, I try not to flap over it that much now and just kind of be a bit more pragmatic with it if I can.

That's good. I'm a flapper. It will, no surprise. I need to thank you as well for winning me money in the jungle. You know you when it did the Wales jungle and I'm going to say, well, I'll put money on you early doors to win. So I need to say thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, I was, I was, I was, to say, to say, to, I was, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to, tho. tha. tha. to, tha. tha. tha. to, to, tha. to, to, to, to, to, to. to, to, thank you very much. Because I knew how nice you were. Also, huge following on your podcast. And then boy band member, husband, that is the one. And kids at home, so they'll send you a letter

and you'll get all upset. I thought, this is a guarantee. We didn't get letters at earth. We didn't get letters? No. That's harsh. They gave. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the their. their. the. their. their. their. their. their. their.nobs and just a sentence of this massive letter that our loved ones did send, but they only included a line of it. Ah, brutal. Actually, I've never actually read the letter that Tom actually did write the entire thing. I've not read it. It's because the rest of it was really brutal, so they had to only give you a line of it. Yeah you the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho o' thoes tho o' tho o' thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes tho o' tho o' thoes th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho o' tho o' that that that that that that, that, that, that, the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the thea thea thea the you're doing that. We're having a great time without you. We're in A&E again, just that you know, we're all sewed up, ready to go. How was it though?

How long was you away from the kids on that show? Oh, a long time. So I was in isolation for two weeks before. Basically I could start with the kids there, but once they'd left, they couldn't come back. Right. And it was one of those typical things where Tom could come with me for that first night and then he had to come back to do, I think Littlemix had a program and BBC, you know, that talent one. So he had to come back the following day. So I then had all three kids the kids weren't with him then the older two because had to go back to school and again once they'd gone to him they couldn't come back to me because of COVID and then the following weekend Tom came to get Max so I made

sure that I did all of my proper goodbyes and stuff with him who at the time before getting him in the car and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I tho the. And I the the. And I the. And I tho tho tho tho tho tho th was the. th was th was th was th was th was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to told was I was tolde tolde tolde tolde tolde told told to to tolde to too o' one tolde the the the the the the the the the the the the car and I remember being there the door shutting on the car and Max has been like, no, mommy can't! Oh, no, no. Oh, no, God. Absolutely distraught. But my friends sent me like this little care package and one of the things in it was a Brussels sprout. You know one of those impossi-possi puzzles?

Yeah. So I literally spent the next four days. in this in posse-brow of like Brussels sprouts and that really helps. The glamour of showbiz. Like I don't know. The biggest show on tell. You were doing, sat there doing a fucking Brussels sprout puzzle on your own. It's the dream gig, the big gig on tellain. It was hard. Yeah, I've made it. Have I?

In a fucking cabin in Wales. Thanks to join us, Javade. Can you go let us know, how old are your kids? You got two? No, I've got four. Four? Four? Four. Four.

the one show, the morning show you've got to get out of the house person. I've got a 14-year-old. I've got a nine-year-old. I've got a nine-year-old. I. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. I-old. I-old. I-old. I-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-old. the-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- the- No-no-no-no-old. the-no, the- No- No- No- No- No- No- No-no-no. the-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no. No-no-no-no-no-no-one. No-one. No-one. No-one. No-one-one-one. No-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-wo-one-wovvovoved-wovoved-wo-wovovovovovovova-one. I the-one. I the-one. I the morning show you. Just doing what I can just to get out of the house person. I've got a 14 year old, I've got a 9 year old, I've got a 6 year old and a he's 5 months old now the baby. So yeah. Really nicely spaced out every four or five years you go, do you know what? Why not? Let's go again. Actually, I don't want to sleep anymore. She's five. She's six this year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th., I don't want to sleep anymore for a bit. I'll get in trouble for that. She's five. She's six this year. Yeah, the third girl. Three girls and a boy, but you're right, it is carnage. I'm not going to lie. How is it being back at five months?

Um, scary, but also quite nice. In a weird way out of all the kids, this is the baby that I'm, I I I I I I I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually I was actually th. I was actually th. I was actually th. I was actually th. I was actually th. I was actually th. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I this is the baby that I was actually prepared for, I'm ready for, and probably mature enough to handle and understand everything. Whereas, you know, when I'm now 14 year old, I mean, I was, you know, a 20-year-old lad playing Premier League football, playing for England, and you think you can just solve everything with money. You're not actually, you're nowhere near ready to be having a child. My 14-year-old with my ex.. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. You're not actually, you're nowhere near ready to be having a child. My 14 year old with my ex. Yeah, so we, we, we, um...

Do they still live in the States, is that right? Yeah, yeah, so they live in America. Correct, yeah, so she lives in America now and she comes over during the summer periods and at Christmas and stuff like that. But you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you, you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, and you th. And, and you th. And, and you th. And, and you th. And, thin, and you thin, and you thin, and you thin, thin, thin, th. And, th. And, thin, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And like that. But you know at those periods during my life I was just like well yeah I've got a kid what do I do but then most yeah my age my age would panic and I went well you know this particular point in my life I've got plenty of money I've got a house all the things you worry about. Yeah, yeah. I had naturally but the one thing I didn't have was the kind of that maturity, that patience, that understanding. So I just kind of built things around me like I've got a mom to quit work, a sister came

to live with me, my sister lived with me. I just had a house just full of people just to help the scenario rather than being a parent, you know. That's interesting. When did you kind of realize that that's what you've done? Not I would say only about five, six years ago. You know, when you, I don't know, every now and again you have those periods in your life who you just kind of took stocked, and I think lockdown for everybody was probably one of those moments where you just kind of like took stock of things that are going on and we were very fortunate during lockdown, you know, for me personally, I got to kind of spend more time with the kids, spent more time at home, spend more time with the wife and stuff. And yeah, I think we just through having that conversations like over a couple of nights, it was just like, you know,

I think she just asked me one time, something like, what was it like having a baby at that age, because she was scared, my now wife, you know, when she started, th.... th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to, to, they, to, to, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, to, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, they, and, they, the, they started having kids, and I didn't, you know, that didn't compute to me just how nervous she was going to be, but, you know, you think you're ready for these moments and then they actually arrive when you're like, fuck. For 20, you're a baby, you're still a baby yourself at 20, aren't you? Well, this is the thing, I don't know, and also I don't know what your experiences were like, and also, and also hospital and you have the kids, and it's just, it is literally just like, there you go, deal with that. And you're like, I mean, I remember the first one just being like, what the hell do you do? Like, how do I feed the, when do I feed it?

How much do I feed it? What am I supposed to do? I'm picking up buying his leg and swinging him around, putting his clothes on, eat that, drink that, people are looking at me like, what's going on? Like, I'm like, I got my fourth innmate. He's sound, don't worry about that. That must have been a really like mad point of your life because, you know, I remember at the time when you got signed it was like for five million or something? And it was like, it was the third most expensive expensive, the most, th........... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th........ I.. I. th. to th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the a record you held? Yeah, I think it was the third most expensive teenager in the world at that particular time. It was like R9 Brazilian Rinalda went from PSV to Barcelona.

Robbie Keene went from Cometry to Intermilan for 9 million and then it was me. And thin it was it was murder. It was murder. It was murder. It was murder it was like press of following me all over the place. I've got into my hotel room and you know I just thought right a couple of minutes to myself and I did my I'd already done my press conference that day. But I just got back to my hotel room I put in on kind of like what's going on on the tell and it was just like the sky news, the news, the th........ th is the the thine's the they news, they news, thine is they news, they is they is they is they is they is they is they is they is they's their thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is just thirty is thirty thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, th, me on that. I was just like, this is, it was crazy. And when I got back to my room, like Nike, for example, sent me, I mean, the product was mental. It was like, you walked into my room, it was from floor to ceiling of just like trainers,

tracksuit, boots, just everything you can imagine. They just sent me. It was 18 years old. You've got that at the moment with Blacks, the mountaineering shop, haven't you, Rob? Oh yes, I know. I'm owned about a backpack from Black. So they'd be ringing me up trying to like, apologize. I'll talk about it. I actually felt really bad in the end. Basically, I bought to go back to the shop to get a refund and I was like can't they just refund my card I moaned about it I've had five phone calls from all the different people from blacks they wanted to send me a backpack's like no I'll just explain the policy and I just thought how boring is my fucking life that I'm talking about the complaint with a mountaineering shop but anyway it's quite funny because you know when you're you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the the you to to to to to to to the the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their try try? try? try? try. try. try. try. try. I try. I try. I'm to to to to to to to tho. I their th products and stuff like that, you know, you just heard me briefly before we came on to talk on the pod about this baby chair that I'm trying to currently put up in the room and that's why I was late getting to the pod. Basically it's a Stoke baby chair, it's a really stylish

one right that goes right next to the kitchen table, apparently your child as they grow they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, they grow, and they grow, and they grow, and they grow, and they they they they they they they they're they grow, and they're they're they they they their, and they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're, and they're they're, and they're, and they're, and they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thin, thin, that, try, try, try try try try try try try try try thea, thrownee, and that, and that, and they're part of the family and like I'm sad I know there's such bollocks in it all of that just they can't oh I we've got we've got that one I've just googled it yeah yeah and it's got like 5,000 attachments that you have to put to it yeah and it's funny because the first thing I do when I get all these things, I go on YouTube and I go right, this is the easiest way because the instructions are always a pain in the ass. So I go right, went on YouTube. And it was funny because you've got like a load of moms who come on who are like, so I've got my new Stoke, baby chair. This is how I'm going to put it together. They're really like There's like a couple of dads thadads the dads the dads. There's the dads. There's the dads. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's like a there. There's like a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of dads th. There's th. There's th. There's like a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of a couple of dads that. It's that. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, they's like, they're like, they're like, they're like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, the th. It's like, the their they they they they thi thi. It's like, they they they they. It's first line of one of them was like, I just want to say sorry about the mess, ignore the mess, it's difficult for a dad doing this on his

own, he was like really stressed out. Yeah, I'm not going to watch this video, mate. Sorry, I'm going to go back to the car. Whenever I put the YouTube videos on, part of me is going, this absolute loser doing the YouTube video, what a fucking loser. And the other part of me is going, this person is my only hope. Like, this is this person. It's all I've got in the world. They're literally all thoed. That's it for this special best of episode. I'm Scott Bennett and I'm Gemma Bennett and together we are brew with the Bennet. Yeah, say it together.

Brew with the Bennets every Sunday a bit of chat. A bit of humour. Humour together. Tea? Tea, tea, cup-a, coffee and chap. Yes, it's good. Join us. You've got round shoulders.

And a side profile of Gerard Depart, I just. She only serves as Tetley T-bags, which in itself was a bit of a bit of a... A bit of a let down. But I saw... I knew it was. I knew it was Yorkshire. I just noticed you always going, before you say so. What do you mean? It's like I'm building or if I'm cleaning my friends be perfected. I just want to talk about just listen do it again. Ah!

You know one day I have anxiety dreams. Oh my God! Hello my name's Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast, it's called Chattabix. Chatterbix is a podcast magazine and chat show, isn't it? Yeah. We're on three times a week, we have loads of guests, special guests, special guests, surprise guests. Can I read some of the Highline? Yeah?

Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot. Visiting a haunted house. Chattah-A-T-Haw-Hiss, Rochwood, and I cried. So that's Chattamix. D-H-A-T-A-X, Chattavix. Andy Bush here from Guest Dammators. The brand new game show where guesswork beats Google. Join me, our resident quizmaster Statman, Matt, and a celebrity guest as we dive into the brains of the great British public. Statman, what sort of questions have we been asking? Well Bush, here are some of my favorites.

Who's the best Irish person? Which finger would you chop off if you had to? And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in a fight? To play along at home and listen to the podcast, just visit guestomators.com. I think I'd chop off my left little finger, by the way.