Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP1: Katherine Ryan

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP1: KATHERINE RYANJoining us in the studio this week to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown is comedian Katherine Ryan.  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep it Light Media' [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills.

Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, this is Josh Whitakam and this is Rob Beckett. Hello. How are you? I'm getting by, lockdown is difficult with young children, which is why we've set this up, Josh. That is why we are here. This is, Rob Beck and Josh would have come with lockdown parenting. I was having a bad time with lockdown parenting, and then I spoke to Rob, and it made me feel

a lot better about my life. And I thought the world needs the pleasure of Rob Beckett to make themselves feel better. Yes, because I've got two children, a four-year-old and a two-year-old, and they are ruling the roost. They've gone feral, I found one drinking out of a puddle. Do you know the worst thing about that, Rob? It hasn't rained in two weeks.

I know it's like she'd made it the night the night the night the night night night the night night night the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, tho, tho, tho, the night before for a drink in the morning. One of them had chocolate round her mouth. And it was 8 a.m. they hadn't had chocolate yet. I would, where's that from? She pointed at the flower bed. It was a chocolate egg she dropped in the flower bed two days ago. Amazing. It's amazing that your kids were already clever than you. So, the point of this podcast is obviously, you know, it goes without saying this is a tough time for everyone.

Yes. But we thought it'd be nice to have an outlet. What's happened? I've seen your Instagram stories, Rob. And Alex Brooke has texted him and said, is Rob Beckett, having a nervous contrast. And what I want is us to feel better by venting here, and people who listen to feel better by thinking, well, it's not just us that's finding lockdown parenting difficult. It is a difficult thing.

Yes. And if you're listening and you don't have a child, you're thinking, bloody how my life is good. Yes. That is basically the point that, that, that, that, that, that, tha, tha, tha, thiiiii. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. to to thi. th point. I don't want them not listening, enjoying our pain. That would make you feel even worse. Do you know what, mate? They're the only people who've got time to listen. We need them. A problem shared is a problem halved, isn't it? So would you like one of my children to look after Josh? Absolutely not. But I think, hopefully this podcast, we can all vent and tell everyone how difficult to find in it and it'll make everyone listening feel better. So Josh I think it's only fair that we break down what our situation is with kids and child care at home so what's your set up? So pre-lockdown well I've still got the same amount of kids

post-lockdown yeah pre-lockdown I've got a two and a half year old daughter and a wife and we live in a house. I say, you know, when I'm not working we share the parenting equally. My daughter goes to nursery two days a week, which didn't feel like a lot of days. But now, mate, oh my god, those, do you know what I miss? I drop her off at nursery, right? Yep. And then 8 a.m. on a Wednesday and a Friday, and then next door to the nursery, it's a really nice cafe, and I'd go in that cafe, and I'd have tea and toast, and they knew me, they'd say the usual, which has never happened to me before. And then I'd sit and Ithat was just the best hour of my week. It was amazing. It was the only hour of my week where I wasn't working, parenting or travelling to work. Yes. I didn't realize how much I needed that. Yeah. I didn't know how much I needed the staring into space.

I just want some time on my own. Yes. So that was what my setup was and now obviously we're all lockdown. So what what tends to happen is I'll get up with my daughter and then my wife will get up and then in the morning we will share parenting and both of us will try and do some exercise, go and do some exercise. I'll take my daughter to the park most mornings and then in the afternoon I'll try and catch up on work while hearing parenting going on outside of the room is very difficult to work when you can hear someone freaking out. Yes. Whether it be my wife or my daughter. What your situation Rob? Set up is pretty similar. So I've got a two and a half year old and a four and a half year old. Pre-lock down again when I'm a way of work I'm working but whenever I'm at home it's 50-50 I used to do their nursery school run are they go Monday

Wednesdays Fridays and we just got the two-year-old in at the start of like September so it was like oh my god like we have all this time and we've waited so long to get that time because they've been at home whereas I think people with slightly older kids, like 12 and 10, and like, oh, it's nice to see them because they're normally always at school at the time, where for us, we had just got the point, we're like, oh, get rid of them for three days. Which was amazing, and that walk home from preschool was incredible, carrying two scooters over my shoulder, like a dad, he's just been released back into the wild. Whereas now I'm at home trying to work doing a YouTube channel, doing podcasts, all the kind of work stuff

you'd have to do outside the house, now inside the house and we're splitting the kids 50-50, obviously. It's so much more difficult this lockdown parenting. You know how athletes go and do like high-altitude training, yeah. So then when they compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete compete they compete they compete they compete they compete they compete they compete they compete they compete their their they compete they compete their they compete in the Olympics is much easier. Yeah. I think I'm going to be absolutely, brilliant a normal parenting after this is over. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Mate. It's an intensive driving course. The drop-off, oh, I've got to do an hour between their getting up and taking her to nursery. Yeah. Piece Throw it out there. Oh, well anyway, that is to come. That is to come. We are still in lockdown. I'm finding it hard though because it is that intense and hopefully our guests will help us get through this together, Josh. You know what, the more I speak to people, the better I feel about this because I think the difficulty of lockdown parenting is you kind of imagine that other people are living this perfect life of making banana bread and doing

art projects and the moment you hear that someone else has given their kid a packet of quaver's and put them in front of Mr. Tumble that makes you feel so much better. Yes and if you're struggling with them, listen to this it will make you feel better. And each day we'll be joined by a comedian or celebrity or someone who we want to hear how they are doing. We've got some brilliant guests lined up. And each episode we want to hear from you. We want to hear what problems you've had, any thoughts you've had on the previous episodes. And if you want to get in touch, you email, hello at lockdown.n, the, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to email, to email, to email, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, if you, and, and, to get, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to me.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. toe. toe. toe. to. to.e.e. to.e.e. to. to get in touch you email hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk because somehow someone has beaten us to the dot-com email address. Who's got that? I don't know who's got that. Well we can email them and

ask. There's a way of getting in toubled. I'm definitely going to do that. Who are you? Yeah. Anyway, we like to hear from you so now it is time for the lockdown parenting post bag. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Okay, Rob, here is our first bit of correspondence. Do you know what? It really speaks to me and it makes me feel better about the experience of lockdown parenting. Oh, that's good. This is from someone called Michael who says, I'd say my lowest moment of lockdown parenting was failing to get cornflakes off a bowl after they've already been through

the dishwasher, considering just writing off the bowl because it would be easier, then going to the toilet to cool down, turning on Instagram and reading this post. Now this is a post Rob that I've seen a lot at the start of lockdown. I'm going to read it out to you and I want you to tell me how much you think it reflects your experience of being locked down with your two children, okay? Okay, sure. Can we have some lovely Radio 4 style poetry music, thank you. And the people stayed at home and read books and listened and rested and exercised and made art and played games and learn new ways of being and were still. How you feeling so far Rob? Still, I've not been still since Boris did his first

press conference. I have been moving, chasing kids, non-stop. I've not been still. How could I be still? Are you made any art? No, unless you call your four-year-old finding the glitter tubs and just running around the house with them open. Unless you call that art and now my entire house looks like that it's been pebble-dashed by a drag act. The glitter everywhere. Right let's move on. Have you done any of this? Have you listened more deeply, meditated? Some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. What met their shadows?

Yeah, I've definitely not met my shadow in the last five weeks. It does say like a euphemism. I've just... Yeah, excuse me, kids. I know you need your ass wiped at 5 a.m. But I'm trying to be still here, if that's all right. I'm meditating. It goes on, obviously people are having different experiences of the lockdown and we've already discussed that... That is follicles, they're not. They're not. They're having the same experience but they're lying. They're at their kitchens clean once a week and they take the photo before it's a bomb site again. Everyone is having a terrible time and they're lying. Oh yeah we get up and do a little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. We're having their th. th. th. We're having th. We're having th. We're having thi. We're having thi. We're having th. We're having th. We're having th. We're having th. We're having th. We're having their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. We're having. We're having their their their their thi. We're having. We're their their thi. We're their thi. We're thi. We're their. We're the photo before it's a bombsight again. Everyone is having a terrible time and they're lying. Oh yeah we get up and do a little bit of yoga actually. Just fuck off!

But you're not doing yoga! You're not doing yoga! Sorry I'm getting out but it's just that annoys me. We're all having a time. Do you know what would calm you down Rob? What's that? Meeting your shadow? Right? Well, um, thank you for that? th.. th. Instagram posts or got any text from people who are, you know, smuggly using their time better than you are, we would love to hear them. I got a text from my friend, right? This is what, this is what sums up my watching habits. This is from Chris, who I host the 90s football podcast, quickly Kevin with, do, do seek it out, I'm not sure how much overlap there will be with this, right? So he said, last night I had a whole hour to myself. I wasted 40 minutes of it,

panicking about how to make the most of the hour. I kept constantly flicking through documentaries, thinking, this isn't a good enough use of my time. Ten minutes of Tutan Karmoon, five minutes of Sunderland until I die. I'm panicking now, even recalling the experience. There is so much pressure, isn't there? The moments I have on my own are just so like, I've got to use this. I've got to do something here. Have you actually got through anything, Rob? I, in some sort of vague, mad hope. I downloaded 10 documentaries that have been, they're on BT Sports. 30, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. 10, th. 10, th. 10, th. 10, th. 10, th. 10, th. 10, ten, ten, ten, te, te, today, today, today, theeeeeea. There is thea. There is thea. There is there is there is there is there is documentaries that have been, they're on BT sports, I'm like 30 for 30, all about American football and stuff like that, right? I tried to watch one

the other day, I banged it on at 6 a.m. when I was up, an out of documentary, 4.30 in the afternoon, I was 11 minutes in. From pointing it. How did you get those 11 minutes? I know, sorry for bragging on here guys. From pulking it. How did you get those 11 minutes? I didn't come in from me. Sorry for bragging on here guys. Next up. Tell me whether this makes you feel better about your life. This is amazing. This is from Heather Rogers. She's written Heather Rogers, 29 from Manchester. I like that.

It feels like she's ongoing live and she's asking a question. Today I ate a Kit Cat and a bag of Malteseas whilst in the shower open brackets that I'd previously hid in the back of the cupboard, closed brackets, so that I didn't have to share them with my one-year-old or my partner. That is a low moment. So in the shower, yeah. Eating your Kit Kat and bag of maltises. It's not a shower, is it? You couldn't have the water on any hotter than at least tepid for fear that it would melt your chocolatey snack. The same, wait, that is not a shower snack.

Is there such a thing as a shower? Well, I used to, when I was younger, you know, before you drink in the shower. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's nothing more decadent than the can of lager in the shower before heading out. Oh my God. I might do that tonight before heading downstairs and watching TV. I'm gonna do that, lager shower. I used to sometimes pour quite a strong whiskey and then the water would act as an extra mixer. And we'll tease out and kick out the sad part about that is. At some point, Rogers, we've got here on the emails, would have thought, oh, this is a really good idea, I'm being really clever here, but then halfway through just thought, what is

my life? Yeah, there's a moment when it all crystallizes and you think, I'm never going to tell anyone about this. And then you see us tweet out and you think, well, I do want to be read out on a podcast. out and you think well I do want to be read out on a podcast. Is that like a main and a pudding that she's done that or is that like do you would you do the KitKat then the Maltese's or would you would you have them both open at the same time and you're like two parts of a meal? Well I'd go Maltese as first I've always thought of them as the Padron Pepper of the Chocolate World that you can take solo but they're nice in a little bowl, don't they?

Cher. And then the KitKats more you're like, forgetting it. Right, Amy Rolf, this is, she said this isn't a bad memory, but it's just a bit sad. Either of your daughter's having their birthday in lockdown, Rob. No, but they do have to have their really near Christmas, so in a way they used to do a bit of a damp squid. And my birthday is the second of January so I don't care about anyone's all my birthdays in lockdown, my birthdays in lockdown every year. The pubs are shut on the second of Jan every year. Depressive. Well shout that in the face of Amy Rolf's daughter, who for a third birthday, Amy Rolf made a Pass-the-Parsal and they passed it between her daughter herself and her husband, just around and around the three of them playing past-the-parsal.

Oh, I mean, there's a lot of pressure on making sure you stop the music there. That is, you could really ruin her birthday if the tho'-o'-old doesn't know past the past anyway you don't need Surely you just musical statues or something I say the kids under five you can just invent stuff Like and invent a day like I've told my daughters it's Lego day on Saturday and they're all excited and that just means we're gonna do a bit of Lego and watch the Lego movie and I keep going Go girls it's Lego and if you deliver it like it's Christmas Day, they're buzzing for this new thing you've invented. And they just get excited over nothing. Yeah, come next year Rob. Next year when you're not locked down you're forced through Lego Day in the middle of April. You're really absolutely gutted, I've had to take them out of school for Lego Day.

It's a day we celebrate actually. So to respect my culture. Stick that on the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census census the census the census the census census census the census census census the census census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census the census census the census. I'm a Legolian. All these Legolians around our ways celebrating Lego Day. I thought I've only Brexit to get rid of you mate. So thank you for all your emails. There are so many that we don't get to read out all of them but we do read all of them so please do get in touch. So please do get in toucete in the shower or anything that you think might be of interest to us. This is how to get in toucest. Email us hello at lockdownparentin.co. UK. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents.

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Savings may vary. As you listen to this podcast, it is important to remember some cave.. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their to to to theircuuberaqaqaqaqaqa to their their to bea to be to be to be over over over over over over to to to to toms apply. As you listen to this podcast, it is important to remember some caveats. We won't say them every time, but obviously this is a weird time and everyone, you know, it's having a tough time. And so we're not making light or claiming that we are having a worse time than ever. We're just using it as a way to vent about the experience of parenting. And the second caveat, just to be very clear, whatever we say, me and Rob, we do love our children, we do love our children and our wives. Right, enough from us. Are you ready for our first guest? It is Catherine Ryan. Hello, Catherine Ryan. How are you? I'm really well. It's nice to

talk to people from work. It is isn't it? Colleagues. I love this. Thanks for doing it Catherine. Thank you. I hope I can graduate to friend. Have you seen a lot of people then? Have you seen anyone? Like you doing all the Zoom and all that kind of stuff? No, I don't need an excuse to drink. I can do that alone. I don't, I don't subscribe to these like house party zoom things. Talk to my friends. I mean, I'm not a phone person. Why should a pandemic turn me into one? Yes. Same with quizzes. I do not want to do a quiz with family members that I dislike. Exactly. I don't want to do that live in a pub. Never mind in my house or I could be watching Netflix or lying down. I moved an ocean away on purpose. How are you dealing with being a parent at lockdown Catherine? Well, unlike you two,

I was getting it in very young and I have an older child. Yes. So how old is your daughter, Josh? Two and a half? Oh my gosh, and then Rob you're like two and four and four and a half? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could th. I could th. I could I th. I th. I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could th. I th. I th. I th. I could th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could th. I th. I could th. I could tho. I could th. I could tho. I could th. I could th. I th. I th. I th. child. Yes. So how old is your daughter, Josh? Two and a half. Oh my gosh, and then Rob you're like two and four and four and a half? That is crazy. That's crazy. So I'm living a very different experience to the two of you. Your girls all require very hands-on parenting. Whereas Violet is the opposite.

I basically have a teenager in the house. I have to go seek her out. She doesn't even need me for food. She doesn't need me for anything. I have to find her, wash her, take her device. Oh wow, okay. So that's your on the hunt for her, really? I mean, I'm hurt because she used to really like spending time with me and now she's got all these friends on Zoom. She's doing all the house party calls and she's doing school online. She's playing games online. This is a teenager's dream come true because all they want is Tick Tock and their friends and they don't like leaving the house. Your children are probably asking about the park.

I tried to go and walk the other day, Violet resets leaving the house. house putting any clothes on, she's in her element. Oh my God, that's a dream, isn't it? I'm so jealous of you. So you not have any more like grown up rouse and arguments though, whereas you know, I imagine with young kids it's more hands on and physically sort of stressful, but when they're older it's that the emotional thing, but is she just completely happy in her room hiding? Yeah, I mean, we're not having roused, she's sort of dealing with the fence. So she wants to climb the fence, sort of like a dog in heat and go play with the neighbors. But some of the women in my neighborhood, I know that they're leaving the house for dick appointments or they are hosting

dick appointments. Yes, there are. I've noticed that there's people that are still on the hunt for D during the pandemic. No. I know a couple of people that are doing it. I don't want to name names, but they're sliding out for D appointments. This is it, and you can't let your teenage children mingle with their children, and that's all they want. Your little girls, they want you. They want your attention, to maybe to beat, to maybe, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, to, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, to their, their, their, but, their, but, but, their, but, but, but, but, but, their, but, their, but, their, but, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to name, but, but, but, but, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their...e. I. I.e.e.e. I'm their.e.e.e.e.e. their.n.n. their.n.n. their their their their their their their their is ignore me, leave the house, hang out with other kids, get on her device, hang out with other kids, is the opposite. As she got out at all, or is she sticking to the rules or have you caught her going to see

friends? Well, I tried to compromise. So I built a crow's nest up in a tree so that she could... I've allowed her to climb up there and shout into the neighbor's garden and then the neighbor girls have trampolines so they can bounce on the trampolines and say a few words in the air and then they go back down. I think Rob, if the lockdown is extended we should do an episode from trams. Oh yeah, I mean, you're East London, I'm south-east. I'm raring to give over the Thames, but I'm ready, I'm raring to give that a go, Josh. How's your, so she's, has she got rules on her device, was she allowed on her device all

the time, Catherine? Well, this is the struggle that you get into with older children, is you should be apparent to them, but you don't have to to to the the the the the the their to be their thapapapapapape th.... I th. I th. I to be to be to be th. I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a th.... I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thathea. thrown. throwne. throwne. throwne. throwne. the. toe. throwne. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. th th to. to. to. Yes. So there's really no policing in place. So if I want to drink wine in the garden with my current husband, then why wouldn't I just let her on her device all day? What's it to me? Yeah. Because really what you're doing is not acceptable. Yeah. So that it's like for us, like we term no, no screen time, no iPads and we just sit there with a phone while while they're playing. My screen time at a moment time th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ti ti the ti ti ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. to to to to to to toe, toe, to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, to toe. to to to to to toe. to to to to to to their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. the the their their to moment is an absolute disgrace. Yeah. My screen time last week was eight hours and then it dropped to five hours this week and I genuinely felt like I had achieved, like I'd climbed Everest to just do five hours a day on my telephone. Telephone am I a Victorian? What's your screen time at the moment, Catherine? It's bad, but it's always bad.

I'm eight hours in a lockdown, I'm eight hours regular times. But I read, I don't think that I'm doing nefarious activities on the phone all the time. It's not all social media. I read all my news articles on there. I subscribe to all the newspapers. I am reading. I use it like like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like I use it like a Kindle. I try to read, but then I just end up immediately going back onto TikTok to see people

dance. I can't, I can't with TikTok. I'm obsessed, I love it. And I don't know why. I don't, on paper I shouldn't. No, I don't know. I think it's about my vibe, isn't it? Bit of Tick Tock, bit of Lego bed. I live like a teenage girl. Well, this is the other thing with TikTok that's so annoying and you should like it.

I mean, I love the idea that 10-year-olds are moving around and dancing, but it's constant. So they'll be on TikTok learning dances, but even once the phone is put away, my daughter will walk into the kitchen for snacks.......... So does she do pranks on you with it? Because that happens a lot. All she wants to do is watch the older girls on TikTok and learn the dances that they're doing and then emulate those dances in a crop top. And I've studied Tick-Tock because I'm trying to bond a two-year-old girl and she liked me very much and now I have to reach out and basically watch these jail bait 15-year-olds doing sexy dances, doing the splits. I have to learn those dances. I made a list of how to be successful at TikTok based on what I've learned and I've tried to feed this back to Violet, but it's a terrible list. All you want to do is you need good lighting, nice, nice, nice, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to, to be their, to be toe, and toe, and to, and to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their,ea, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and I've tried to feed this back to Violet, but it's a terrible list. All you want to do is you need good lighting, really nice straight white smile,

and you need to get your ass out and be flexible and that's it. Well I'm one ass away from being successful on Ticto tip by the sounds of that that. What you don't realize is they are like proper an event where there was loads of kids that age, they would be people all over them going, oh my God, can I have a picture and all that at 15? It's like, they're mega stars, like, in a cult. Can I ask a question of someone that doesn't know what I'm talking about? Like, when did this? Like, thiauk, I reckon, I'a'e'n't tipk, this? It's been going on a while. Tick-Tock used to be called Musically. Now it's Tick-Tock and it's exploded,

but it's been around in America, I think, solidly for about two years. And I am ashamed to say that pre-lock down, I would travel around the UK with my daughter and go to a travel lodge in Milton Keakne to to to to to to to to to to to to tooer to nes to hang out with Tick-Tockers for like a five-hour meet and greet. Oh wow. How much would that cost? It costs I think 20 pounds each but then there's loads of merch there that your railroaded into buying. There's there's no performance element. They don't do anything and they're lovely girls but they just have like a step and repeat, you know that branding board in the back and they stand there and their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, tho. th. tho. th. them and record a quick Tick-Tock where they stick their tongue out, and then they resume

and they queue again to do the same, and it's really a weird, you wait, I don't know what it's going to be when your daughters are 10. Oh, I know. Well, it's only five years away for me. It's like we're in black mirror, isn't it? At the moment. I can't believe how out of the loop I am when you describe that. Am I old? No, you are peacefully unaware right now and just enjoy this time because we all have different struggles at different stages of parenthood. And this is the one I'm in right.

I'm very ashamed to say that I paid a teenager 800 pounds to visit my house last June. Did you? Because she's on TikTok, yeah. So did Oliver, I got it out of the papers. So you got, you paid a TikTok. So you paid a TikTok for your daughter's house? So exactly that. It was the only thing Violet wanted for her birthday. She said,

well you get this Tick-Tocker to come to the house. And I said, all right. So I reached out to this teen. It felt very dirty. Just a teenage girl. I was like, how much, how much is it going to cost me to get you come dance in my kitchen. I think there's a weird thing where me and Josh at the stage now where their kids are really young and we sort of feel quite young still like like oh we sort of know about cool stuff but we don't we're completely oblivious it's only when your kids get a bit older like your daughter's 10 now that they bringing into this new world you go oh that's what's going on. We're in this weird fellow period where we don't know what is cool or what is popular and then you get brought into it by your kids. Do you think my parents were thinking about

like we're talking about Tick Tock and they were talking about that like about like gladiators or like all. All Josh wants is to meet jazz in a mall. I spent 300 quid on getting shadow to come round for the afternoon to it with a massive cotton bud. Well you wait till the girls get a bit older. I'll be like that female Jeffrey Epstein assistant helping to broker the deal. How's food going for you, Catherine? Are you like, does she eat well? Is she a fussy eater? Is that a tough thing at that age? No, once they get a bit older, they'll eat. I mean, they're growing so much at this age that I've seen Rob's Instagram. I know the girls are leaving behind

palm bears. I'm living in a different world to you guys like I don't feed her but food goes missing from the fridge so I assume she's eating in the day and then she treat her like a fox in your garden. I'll be one out of night and if it goes I'm saying must be fed. Well and then she joins us for dinner and she eats the same things we eat you know it's all that is fine now. What are your kids eating? Yeah we're still th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho that that thi that, tho- tho- tho- tho- th- th- th- th- th- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thin thin that that that that that that that that that that thin that theeee thin. thin. the the the the the the th same things we eat. You know, it's all that is fine now. What are your kids eating? Yeah, we're still working through this mango addiction. It's caused a real problem now. What, the mango? Yeah, she's so addicted to mango. It's like, I had to go out and buy two mango. Just because we're low on mango. Low on mango I bought one mango as like a bit of fun, it's ruined my life. It's like, you know, like that drug dealer thing

of the first one being free. It's like that. And you've got such a small window to eat it, because mango in the first place not readily available all season. And then when you buy guys, I've had a bit of a moment with mango. I realize that's the most middle-class problem in the world, but there we go. Do you give her mango, mango juice? No, I haven't tried that. Breakfast today was a mango. Well, innocent makes a nice mango. the mango juice. I really have one that that that that that that th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho that's tho tho tho that's tho that's that's that's that's that's that's tho that's tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most mo. the most mo. the most mo. the most the most mo. the most monge. the most monge. the most mongue. the most the most the most the most the most. that'll fix her, you know, mango for a few hours.

Another thing you can do, take the mango pit, because that's got a little mango in the edges, put a skewer in that. She's got a mango lolly for a couple hours. Oh, here we go. This is great stuff. Oh, yeah, but that's a danger, Pipe, and it's a tip lodged in her throat. How you get it? What kind of throat has she got? Have you seen the size of mangoes, Rob? That's good tip. What would be your kind of one piece of lockdown parenting advice beyond the mango lolly, which is an excellent tip? Have you got any tips that people could actually use? Yes, if you've got any cardboard in the garage, which we have because where we live, a lot of the trash collections not coming regularly, the dump is closed.

So you put that along the steps and you've got a slide. They can go down that on a pillow or a sleeping bag. That's good. You can make it a tube slide if you use the whole box and use the banister with some tape to like really... That's a great, the the the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thpe to like really... Oh that's good. That's a great idea. I don't know if it's a health and safety. We want to look for staples, remove staples because sometimes it's a really aggressive staples in cardboard these days which I'm not happy about. Yeah just a quick

disclaimer it's not our fault if it all goes wrong. You don't want staples but you know what if it does go wrong whatever there the the th. th. th th th th is th is to to to to to th is to to th is to the to th is to th is th is the to to th is to th is to to to th is to to to to to to the to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thea. thea. thea. thea. the thea. thea. thea. thea. was no health and safety when we were young. There was no expectation to parent your children and to be in their face all day. I don't remember interacting with my parents growing up. So why do we feel this pressure now that we've got to entertain them? I've got a scar on the back of my head when my dad took me to the pub one of the highest stalls at the bar and I fell off and smashed all my head open. That explains so much about what's happened to you in the last 20 years. I know I picked you up and I rubbed your head and it was all sticky.

But he's told it like a lovely story. I've got a dimple just below my left eye which is where I was at a friend's birthday I got got got got got got got got got I got a th. I got a th. I had I had I had I had th. I had th. I had th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was at a th. I was at a th. I was at a th. I was at a to to to to to to th. I was at a to to to to to to told. I was at a told. I was at a told. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was at a to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a tod today. I was liked. I was like. I was like. I was like a today today. I was liked. I was like. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked.'s birthday, I got hit in the face with a crowbar. It's astonishing, not like, not in an unprovoked attack. They were hitting in a post to play football and his older brother had it on his shoulder and did a turn. You know like the classic chuckle brother's turn and hit over the try tie of that in the face. It wasn't like a carjacking themed birthday. And then I got put in the boot and driven 15 miles to the hospital. Yeah. Catherine, it may not be a suitable question for you because it seems like you've got quite a chilled set up at the moment in your place. But if for every reason, your husband and your daughter just were magic to

way for the day and you were still in lockdown, what would you do with your day? What would your day look like if you had the house completely to yourself? Ooh, well now that I have a husband, that's really new for me so I do really like him and I'm glad that I got married when I did because it's all very fresh, I'm not tired of him yet. However... When's that coming do you think? When are you aiming for being bored of him? I mean, judging by my friend's reviews, it should be in the next 18 months. But when I was alone, I could watch whatever tele I wanted without feeling judged, and there are things that I can't watch with Bobby around. He likes Westworld, he likes Ozark, he likes, you know, he's very upset that all the sports are cancelled right now, but he doesn't tolerate the same level of 90-day fiancee, Kardashian trash, trash, housewives, teen mom, you know, I have to hide that from him a bit.

So you just watch, you do a marathon, Kardashian watch. Yeah, I would just watch all the trash that I never felt judged for in the past. I didn't didn't th. I didn't thagagagagagagagagag. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't have th. I didn't have th. I didn't have to to to th. I didn't have th. I'd thi. I thi, I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd the the the the th. Yeah, I'd th. Yeah, I'd th. Yeah, I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the thrash, I'd their, I'd th trash that I never felt judged for in the past. I didn't have to get into a drama, you know. Yeah. Because it is hard, isn't it, like when you're busy and you've got of all that stuff on your TV guide that you haven't watched, and I always think, if Lou, who left me, like just divorced me and like run off with the kids, I'd obviously be upset but the first three days, days, I'd like. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. their. their. their, their, their, like, like, like, like, their, like, their, their, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Yeah, their. Yeah, th. Yeah, their. Yeah. their. their. th. It's. th. It's. It's. th. It's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. that's. that's. that's. that first three days would feel like the most incredible three days of our life. Oh, look at that. Yes, please. You've got time away from your child. So are you like, did you have big things that you wanted to achieve in lockdown and

have you achieved them? Well, I will tell you what becomes difficult when they're 10. I don't have I I I th. I th. I th. I don't have I don't have I don't have I don't have that I don't that th. I don't th. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. th. Yes. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. that that th. th. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the the the. the. don't have that much time away in terms of privacy. You know, my daughter's occupied, but she's always got a keen eye on us and she never goes to bet. She stays up later than we do. And we are struggling in the bedroom because when they get to be that age, they know what mummies and daddies do. I mean, I don't reallythe the PG rating of your podcast. I really want to fuck my husband basically. And I used to do that at 10 a.m. after the school run and that was my little window but I mean now my daughter she's like she's like a hawk and she never falls asleep. Have you tried putting her in a separate bedroom? No, my husband's in a separate bedroom. He has his own bedroom. Because we weren't married when we first moved to her and I didn't want to set a bad example.

I mean, God help me if my daughter ever Googles me. What time does she go? What's her bedtime routine then? Getting up and go to bed? I don't know. I mean you'd have to ask her she just hangs out with them. Well yeah so that's what I'm struggling with I guess about the hour walk you can't leave Violet can you leave your daughter in the house on her own I mean she'd love it if I did but it's a bit young still isn't it and it's like you're not doing it for an emergency just you know you can get banged in a park No stopping, no stopping, no stopping. I could use the press really. I'm not up to anything else. Can you imagine the headlines?

Catherine with no regard for the NHS bangs in a park. To be fair, I don't, you know, it wouldn't take long though. Just tie a shoelace it'll be over. That long of lockdown. It's not going to be a long drawn affair, is it? Rob, you've always have one final question, don't you, Rob? Yes, that is, Catherine, what would be the high light and low light of your lockdown, one moment where you thought, oh, this is amazing, I'm really enjoying this, and a point where you've gone, ah, this has got to stop.

The best part of my lockdown is we have ponies, and their their their their their thony, and their thon, and thon, and their ponies, and their ponies, and their ponies, and their ponies, and their, and th. And they used to be in stables, but we've had to turn them all out in lockdown so that there's less human contact. Because normally, when the ponies are in stables, you're mucking them out, you're bringing them in, you're feeding them, they need all this human attention. But we've turned them all out in the fields, so now when we go check them to pick their feete their their their their their their their their their their their their, magical walk. And you feel like these are unicorns all of a sudden.

The weather's been so nice and we're out in the fields with the ponies and I really love that part of the day. We do that every day at 2 p.m. And that's my favorite part. And I've put that on my Instagram a little bit, which I don't want to, I feel two ways about it. I feel guilty because thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho, I tho, I feel tho, I tho, I tho, I feel tho, I feel tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, th. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I'm, I'm, I'm, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, to tho, to to to thooooooooooooooooo. to, to, the. the. the. tho. the. tho. th. th ways about it. I feel guilty because some people don't have outdoor space. And in another way, I put it on purpose because it's like, I like to show people the ponies, I think hopefully they find it relaxing.

Also, ponies respond to entitlement, so they respect me a lot. You know, I walk out in the field, I'm not afraid of them at all, and they don't gallop into me. They look at me and they go, there's the boss. She seems like a real prick. And they just told me that respect. Lovely. Yeah.

And then I think my worst part would be just the relentless, unknowing of it all. I don't watch to tap into exactly what's going on, but like personally, am I ever going to work again? I don't know. Do I have to like lose 40 pounds and get on Tick-Tock? I don't want to. So Rob's trying to do already. I've made you for a crop top to be delivered from H&M and I'm raring to go.

Catherine, thrown, thii. Catherine Ryan, it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you. I'm glad you're well. Thank you very much. Hi guys. Cheers, thanks Catherine. Bye. So, Catherine Ryan, Josh, do you know what I like most about that? Finding out I wasn't the worst person for screen time. Yeah, I, well I'll give you credit Rob, you're only losing six hours of your day to look on your phone.

But I just want to justify that, because it sounds like a bad, like an awful parent. I'm not like parenting with my phone in front of my daughter's face. I mean, when I've sent you like, what's up, we sent a couple of what's up memos to each other today, like the voice ones, and both of them ended with us having to go, wait, I'll call you back in a second because, so you're literally finding a moment. There's a WhatsApp Dad's group that I'm in that is a couple of mates that all had kids at the same time, right? And it was quite quiet, but now the lockdown's happened. It's really gone up a notch. And Ellis James, we we we should we we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should we should to to to to to to to to to that that th. to th. to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the toda. the toda. the toda. their that. that. their their that some point, was describing what his day is. It was like, you know, get up at half five with his first kid, get his second one gets up at seven, and then eventually, at 8.30, I get the second one in bed, and then I

silently stare at my phone until 11 p.m. And then... And then... Oh, bless it. But that's what it is. It's like every moment where, like if I go to the toilet, I just, yeah. It's like an escape. It's like a different world it offers you. If anyone's beating eight hours, please do get into it. I don't read long articles on there, so that's probably what it is. I'm a bullet point at the top of BBC News. But yeah, Catherine was absolutely brilliant. Did

it make you feel like happier, less happy, more confident, less confident? I don't know, it may be appreciate, it is harder sort of like manpower, man hours with little ones, but you do get a lot back where I think actually the worrying and being anxious about how's my older kid dealing with this and all that. It feels like young kids are physically more demoter emotionally, it's a bit th, it's a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, it's a that that that that that that that that thathea that that that that thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th, did th. did th. did that- that-a that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, kid dealing with this and all that. It feels like young kids are physically more demanding but older ones emotionally it's a bit of a roller coaster so it's made me realize actually I might be busier but at least I've got two little bundles of love that just want to jump on you rather in this sort of young woman that's ignoring you on Tick Tock all day. Yeah, because I've already got that in my wife. I don't need two more. It's good to know that TikTok could lead to things because I know you've got a TikTok

account. It does make me worry that in eight years I'm going to be paying 20 quid to meet you in a travel lodge with my daughter so that you can. It might be eight months mate. I'm blowing up on tipto the moment for half a million one of my videos has videos that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is has has has has has has has has has that that that's has has has that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that that that that that that that that that that that that that th is is is is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho. tho. thooo. thooo. thooo. the is thoooo. thooo it. Well, enjoy your kitchen-based dancing corporates mate. Anyway, 800 quid, I'll come around your house for eight hours and dance. I'm your man. If you want to get in touch with us, this is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Thank you everyone for listening. We're back on Friday with John Richardson. Looking forward to that, Rob.

Oh yeah, it was a great one. Subscribe. Tell people other parents about it. You know, whatever you want, review it on iTunes, all those kind of things we would encourage that, wouldn't we? Yes. Thank you very much, Rob. Bye. Stay safe!