Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP10: Isy Suttie

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP10: Isy SuttieJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is the brilliant comedian, actor, writer, and world renowned voice-over artist, Isy Suttie. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation, and to make me feel

better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills, each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Rob Beckett and Josh Wilco. My name's proving more, more difficult than yours, Rob. Well, yeah, well, yeah, Rob Beckett and Josh Wilcoon. My name's proving more difficult than yours, Rob. Well yeah, it's the thing.

It's not a household name, is it? That's the problem for you. Channel 4, isn't it? Yeah, Channel 4, you need a couple of Saturday night jobs under your belt, the kids all know then. When they've seen you slip over in jelly, they remember your name, mate. Andrew Dillon, thank you for that. Josh, who's that, who's the kid who read that? That child is... He hasn't given the name. That's either a grumpy 13-year-old or a constantly attention-seeking six-year-old,

which I'm guessing is the attention-seeking six-year-old. Partic of a chance to go for a walk in a glorious paint and sunshine. Five minutes into the walk, six-year-old son decided enough is enough, explodes in a tirade of abuse at his mother and I. And in what, it's not my best bit of parenting. He is now banned from the Nintendo until Boris Johnson is no longer in office. Wow. What a way to get your child into politics that is? I tell you what though, I bet that child is absolutely desperately seeking for video or photo of Dominic Cummins at Barnard Castle just to get his Nintendo back. Not for the good of the country, for the good of his switch. Well Andy, Andy sent that to us before the weekend. So obviously over the weekend he's thinking shit I'm going to have to get this Nintendo out quicker than I had anticipated. I thought we had a good four or five years here. Yeah, maybe the six-year-olds posing as a retired chemistry teacher. Suggesting bogus sightings. Right, how are you Rob? Yeah, good, not too bad. I feel like the world's getting slightly back to normal, whatever that is. So it feels a bit more, I'm try to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho thi thi thi thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a-a-a-a-up tho' tho' thi-up thi-a'-upi-upiolioli too bad. I feel like the world's getting slightly back to normal, whatever that is,

so it feels a bit more, but I'm trying to be more positive. But yeah, not too bad. Kids are behaving, we've been going to the part of them, the weather's been nice, so all good, not too bad. One problem, we did find an empty bottle of this alcohol sort of sanitizer that we have on the side to, you know, wash our hands with before we go out and when we come back in, was found in the kids playroom completely empty. And Lou come up to me and went, this is empty, do you think she's drunk it? I was like, oh God. So I drunk a bit, nearly had to go to hospital because it was so intense. No way we would know about it if she tried to drink it. And if she has drunk it and taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken tha tha tha that she's tha that she's tha that she's that she's that she's a to to to to to that she's a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. And if she has drunk it and taken that, she's an absolute beast. Do you know what? I've got a bit of correspondence that relates to that. I might as well go straight to that.

So, uh, this is from Laura Layton. Hi, Rob and Josh. A bit of background, I run a pub with my parents in Little Village in Cessor. I'm married to Rick, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've, I've, I've, I've, I th, I th, I th. Do, I th. Do, I th. Do, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I th. I th, I th. I th, I th, I to, I to, I to, I to, th. I th. I to, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi. Do thooooooo'a. Doea. Doea. Doea. Doea. Doea. Doe. Do thi. Do thi, I've thi, I've thi Rick and have three boys, Zach 10, George 6, Harry 4. The lowest moment of parenting in lockdown is without shadow of the doubt when Zach asked me if he could get a drink from the fridge. Yes, of course you can. We're sat out on the patio. Zach comes outside and sits down swigging from a bottle of Corona. How old is it?

How old is it? Ten? Legend. In my head, he's opened it with his teeth, like can Clint Eastwood. Why wouldn't have enjoyed it at that point? Yeah, but you're not doing it for enjoyment, you're doing it for your parents' reaction. He's doing that because he knows he sits out there with a corona, they're going to go, what you doing? And the clip parenting mail bag.

But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Dear Rob and Josh, just wondering whether you ever get irrationally annoyed by certain plotlines in children's TV shows. So this runs on from what Alan Davis was talking about on the podcast a few days ago because he was getting annoyed with Postman Pat's helicopter. Yeah. I've just watched the Fireman Sam episode where the local Chippy celebrates its one millionth customer. Wow! A! The cafe first appeared in 2008. This episode was filmed in 2012. Ponty Pandey has 27 residents, four of whom work in the cafe. Even if the other villagers had two portions of fish and chips a day, which may explain why there aren't any

characters over 45, it would still be well short. Assuming that the majority of their business comes from the Newtown tourists in peak season, there would still need to be an average of 685 customers per day, assuming they are open at 364 days a year, and no enforced closures each time Norman tries to torch the place. The average fish and chip shops spend per customer in a 2017 survey with £7.64, which would give an annual turnover of 1.9 million. They catch their own fish, and even accounting the astronomical premium for buildings and contents insurance in that postcode, you'd imagine they make enough to be able to move out of the flat above the chipy and buy some decent clothes.

I do end up watching these kids' TV shows, and you are like watching it going, there's no worries, and I totally get that. But when you're sat watching these things again and again you do kind of overthink them. Yeah. I mean not in the same way that Paul Callan has just overthought farm and sound. I think it's because they're not designed for us Josh. That might be right. Yeah. You know like you never got a postman pack like. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the their. I their. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. I th. I a week. Yeah, I've started online gambling again. You know, the stuff some postman do, you know. Yeah. But you know, I finish early, do you know? I've got nothing to do all afternoon. I have a quick go on the roulette before, you know, I'm 800 quid down.

The story of Postman Pat, you know, him struggling with his thrown hours. worries basically about how a lot of people have converted to like email and that's affecting his business and there's going to be cuts within the postman industry. I mean if I was postman Pat I'd move to Farmine Sam's Town Ponty Pandey and open a rival chip shop there's enough to go around. Do you know what I mean? Even if he takes up 10% of their still 200 grand a year. Right next up Hello comrades. of their still 200 grand a year. Right, next up, Hello Comrades. Quite an interesting start.

Yeah, we will happily accept Hello Comrades. The other day, I showed my five-year-old twins a video of my brother giving himself a buzzcut, pictures of various friends who'd all dyed their hairs different during lockdown. After a good old moan about the fact that my own barnet is starting to resemble a giant bell, I plonked them down in front of the tele and nipped off for a shower. A few minutes later, I emerged to panic and chaos. While I had been in the bathroom, one of my two-ins tins I got hold of a massive pair of kitchen scissors and given herself a quarantine haircut.

Thankfully no damage was done to any body parts in the process. She now looks absolutely terrible. The fallout has been epic. She won't leave the house. She won't take part in video calls with her school or friends. And when her sister wanted to raise money for the NHS on a lemonade stand, she sat in a balaclava next to her. Oh no. And they sent a photo? Yeah. Imagine her joy finally out she's got to go back to school in a couple of weeks. She says. She says. She says. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She. She's. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. the the th. She's. She's. th. th. She's. She's. She's. She's, to, to, to to, to, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh. Oh, to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. to. th. the th. th. th. th joy finally out, she's got to go back to school in a couple of weeks. Oh, she says before and after photos attached for your eyes only. Oh, that's her with the balaclava on. Amazing. That's her before.

That's her before. She's got beautiful hair. Beautiful. Oh my god. It's like an advert for like a beautiful hair and a kid like your young kid needs shampoo too like it's so thick and then oh my god she's basically what she's done is it she's like nice normal hair she's cut herself a fringe but this fringe starts behind the back of her ears yeah she's cut from the back of her ears all the round her head so she's got a half bowl cut and like I like a sort of so southern American state

mullet. It's a bit like the Tiger King as you straighteners. That's the kind of hair so bless her but I don't know you know. The Balaclava to be fair to her the Balaclava is pink because in my head she looked like a terrorist from the 90s. That's what I was imagining I was thinking what kind of parents got a five year a bala also the th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th they they're th th th th th th th th th th th th th like th like th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is a th is a thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi ava? Also, they've made free lemonade for the neighborhood, haven't then? It's obviously too cold to be out there selling it and she's got a full puffer coat on. A Balaclava and a blanket over and looks like a nan. Yeah, her hair was beautiful. It'll grow back. It will all be fine, but she's going to school in two weeks and I'm going to tell you now that hair ain't growing back for school mate.

Oh wow, I'm trying to be positive. Thank you for the emails. If you want to get in touch, if you have any issues with the plot holes in TV shows, or if your children are given themselves their own haircuts or anything, this is how to get in tho. Email us, hello at lockdownparentin.co.uk. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Now, actor, writer, voiceover artist of some repute. A Dobby from peep show. But mainly, it's the voice of Azda. That's what, that's what she'll be remembered. She's a voice of Azda. She certainly was for a period. It is. It is the the th. It is th. It is the th. It is th. It is the th. It is th. It is the the th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. Or th. Or tho, tho, thor th or th or th or th. Or, or th. Or th. Or th. Or, or th. Or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or th. Or tho, tho, thi tho, tho. We tho. We tho-a thoooooo' thooooo' thooooo' thooooooo' thoo-oro' tho' tho-oro' tho. Or the voice of Asda that's what that's what she'll be remembered he's the voice of Asda or she certainly was for a period it is the brilliant is he city is he suity is he suity is he suity hello hello hello

no one ever pronounces it like that apart from on radio four sometimes when they try like is is he sooty? Is it? It's a similar vibe this actually. I don't know if you would have been right back before. Yeah, no one listens. Yeah, no one listens. Um, before we started, Rob said to you, how are you? And you let out a kind of sigh, I'd say. How do you describe it, Rob?

It was sort of, it felt like you'd been defeated in a game I didn't know you was playing. I had one more life and then I realized I wouldn't. Yeah, you went, I'm fine. I feel like basically, every day I wake up with, did you used to watch the game nightmare? Rob, you're probably young. I'm aware of it where you had to have marked the helmet thing on, you couldn't see where you were going, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. It's sidestepped to the left and all that. And in that, you have to eat enough food to stay alive. Yeah. But I had to just carry on. Yeah. I think he levels of gold. Yeah. Well I know it's pointless anyway but. But you'll give it a go. What's your set up, Izzy? Just for our list up at home? So the setup is we're in a flat, we're in a split level masonet, we were literally about to start looking for a house, so we don't have a garden.

We had a bed delivered from IKEA the day before lockdown started, which is in the dining room in about, I'd say, 12 different boxes. You can't even walk to the printer or open the window. Oh no. You're there with Ellis, your partner and your two children. What ages are your children? So they're five and 15 months. Oh, that is that's tough. You know what right? The five-year-old was always such a good sleeper and we were so kind of like, we're like, it's good we're so chilled it's such a bullshit like I'm not chilled anyway I really pretend that I am but inside I'm like oh my god it was that fish off and I've just cooked it I'm

gonna give everyone food poisoning and everyone's gonna die like that is my internal monologue quite a lot of time like I'm like yeah I'm so chill I'm like yeah I'm so chill I chilled. Anyway, like, it's just not true that anything rubbed off on her. It was just her personality. So with him, like, he is such a shit sleeper. Like, the only thing that gets me through lockdown is the idea that if he was a newborn and we were in lockdown, it would be worse. You know, when you make yourself feel better by thinking, well at least it's not. Like he used to wake up every 45 minutes, every night, and then wake up for the day at like four. So finally he started sleeping through the night, probably only about two or three

months before lockdown began, right? Yeah. So he sleeps through the night in inverted commas then wakes up normally at 4.30 for the day. Oh and so what what do you do with your time at that point? So the arrangement is and this has never talked about. Ellis does every single morning and wakes me up at 830 a.m. and in return I do all the cooking and cleaning and tidying. That's an unspoken arrangement that is just it just slowly came about. He was like, do you know what I may as well do the morning tomorrow because I'm already tired and by the way that sea bass with ginger was really nice. And then slowly but surely I became really anal about doing a weekly shop which I've never

done in my life. Like my mom's always been saying to me, you should start, you should start doing a weekly shop and planning meals. I've been like, no way, I'll just take life as it comes. I might have to think it's might take it. And now, because obviously, you know, no one wants to go in shops unless they have to and all that. I am so anal about the weekly shop and I even ordered like two chocolate oranges last week and then was like, you can only eat a quarter tonight because he's got a last us for like what we were quarters in what the same night hunched over the kitchen sink. I'm not going back to university to be your friend.

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terms apply. What does Possible to the te. to tellain to to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit Amex.C.S.A. slash business platinum. Basically, so I'm in charge of like the running of the house in the way like women were, I guess, sort of like, you know, in maybe our grandparents' generation, and obviously some women are in our generation, certainly not really any women I know. So it's like it's quite weird. I'm going to say it. I don't know

where Rob is on this. I would 100% take your side of the deal. What about you? But Rob? Yeah, what do you think Rob? And in a minute I'll also give you a few details about what my job entails. Just Okay. Well, I think I can see the logic, I can see the the logic. I can see the logic. the logic. I can see the logic. the the the the the the th. the th. I can see the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to the the to to to. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. I can see I can see the logic but it's such an early start for 30 a.m. If it was like they got up at sixish or whatever and then he dealt with the kids every morning but he's like getting up like he's doing a radio breakfast show it's so hard. So what time what time is he going to bed then? In the olden days Ellis used to be the one going to bed at two, even once we'd had kids. Yeah, he was always a night out there. Yeah, he really was, wasn't he? So he's totally changed. Like, he's in bed with a light out by half ten. And he's responded really well to lockdown as well. He's like, he doesn't care if he sees the kids, but he wants to see me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be the to be the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their he out he out he. He wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't he. He, wasn't he. He he. He to me, wasn't to be to be to be to be the th. to be tho. thoomoomorrow thooooomorrow, wasn't th. thooooooomorrow, wasn't th. they. the the the hea.. He cares if he sees the kids, but he wants to see me a little bit, you know, like maybe 20 minutes a day, but that's it.

You're too busy cooking and cleaning. Well exactly, I'm doing all like I'm getting the chimney sweep out. Has it been in the arguments though about the split shift he's done where you may not have done enough cleaning or cooking and he's been up in the morning. Do you mean? Actually, you woke up at 4.15 today and you haven't done any ironing. So actually, well, no, he's very, and also he's so lovely about, I wasn't very confident at cooking until lockdown began.

And I am more confident now. And P actually is always saying no matter what I cook, even if it's like shreddies, he's like, this is restaurant quality. There haven't been any arguments about like, this isn't good enough. There's been like, there definitely been arguments about, like, you know when you have an argument and you realize that it isn't really about the thing you're talking about. Oh yeah. Like yesterday, we did this thing for Radio 4 and he has to sign a release form. It's a very sort of tedious thing, but what I mean is, he has to have listened to Radio 4. Yeah, you're quite the sales woman, is he? Is this tedious thing that's on the radio?

He has to sign this release form on Dockyside and it's a tedious process because it's been emailed to me and it's not in his name, right? So he said, you know how softly spoken Ellis is? Like, if anyone hasn't heard Ellis and they're listening, he sort of speaks like his telling a campfire anecdote but to one person. So he said really softly, like, did they mail to you? And I said what? And he went, and then he said, you always say what?

And I was like, I don't always say what. You should never say you always something, something. And then halfway through I was like oh this is because we're in lockdown but it's so hard because you're together all the time it might because you always say what it might be the chance it's just because you always say what I think it's a really touchy subject because my mom says what before you finish the sentence and you're like you can't be saying what now because you haven't, you can't say what until you've heard the thing and not understood it.

You can't hear the world very clearly and go what? Like, it's unfair to have an argument with someone that wakes up at half four and you get up at half eight, you're always gonna win. It's like being like on steroids. It's like being like on steroids. It's not the the the the to be like, it's, it's, to be like, to be like, to be, to be like, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, the to be, to be, to be, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioloooooooooooooooooooooooooooom an th., tha, thoooooo any it's quiet at the best of times, never mind at that time. Rob, Rob, listen, you've got to hear my side of it, right? So you don't forget all the cooking, cleaning, like no ironing, because who is ironing clothes now?

Do you know what I saw someone on Twitter talking about ironing? I was like, what are you doing? But basically, Alice is not tidy. He only wears one type of socks in summer and one type of socks in winter, so he only wears... Wait a minute, what? Oh yeah, that's still quite the truth. That's a wall mate. Yeah, what? What? He only wears white, like sports socks in summer and he only wears black like ribbed socks in winter. Ribbed? His ankle's pleasure because it's only ribbed around the ankle. So can I just ask, is it when the clocks go back that he changes the socks?

What's the golf? When's the golf? It's the clock changed out. So, but what he does is he takes his socks off and just leaves them wherever he is. This is just an example, the extent of cleaning that I had to do. Do you think that makes up for him getting up at 4-foot? So he doesn't even, you have to tie it up after him as well. Yeah, that's different never isn't it?

I have to tie up after the kids and we've got quite a small kitchen and k kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen..... the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kids and we've got quite a small kitchen and there's always like Sylvania family's sewing machines everywhere. Today I went to light the gas and there was a Sylvanian family's bath about to be set on fire. On gas tob. So yeah we neither of us are very tidy but um yeah how's it doing with the kids have been to stressing you out? Well Betty really likes reading and that's just about the only thing we're doing now at at at at at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th. thi. their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. that's been stressing you out? Well, Betty really likes reading and that's just about the only thing we're doing now at the beginning of it. I bought like a big whiteboard from Amazon and I was like, right, okay, every day we went into dining room with the IKEA bed and then it's blatantly going to go to the tip. So she like watches quite a lot of telly now, but she always does read, right?

And I'm like, reading is important that as long as she reads every day, even if it's a bad day, it's a hard day, at least she's read every day. So she's like, why not reading the twits tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw twits, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th.. the the the the the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the. the, the. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thirty, thirty, thirty, th. th. th. were like oh yeah the Twits is amazing it's really nice to read it again but then the bit about do you remember the Twits there's a bit at the end it's quite intense isn't it doesn't he kill her in the end or something? Well they they kind of kill each other they get this thing called the Shrinks that they've sort of joked about earlier in the story but their head sinkthen their necks akin to their bodies and it's a bit like when the witch dies at the end of the whither and we read it to him. So I'm all spoiler alert. I'm not saying that yet. I turned off because it was black and white I'll give it a go on though. Sorry guys so she's young to be reading the twit so is it she? She wasn't reading it no we ready to learn yeah. Oh I was gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna say to say to say to say to say to say to put to put to put to put to put to put the to the to their to their their their to their their their their their their to their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s' their tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee thee thee thee their thee. their their thee. their their their thoooooooooo' their th, no we're ready to look. Oh, I was gonna say, wow. To put the bed up, she sounds like a genius. But it's given her like, so it's like she wants the feeling of being scared, but then she gets too scared. So I think it's actually quite a scary bit then to go. A lot of Roll doll is quite intense, isn't it? It's not quite an edge to it, hasn't it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to the their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to their. their. their. to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to go. A lot of old doll is quite intense. It's not quite an edge to it, hasn't

it? Like, that's why I'd be so shit at ever writing a kid's book because I'd be so scared of making them scared. I'd just be like, everything was fine and everyone lived forever. But, so she basically said, this morning, she was like, I had a nightmare about the shrinks, and I don't, and then she was like, and thi thu thu thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, th, th, th, th, th., th. I'd, th. I'd, th. I'd, th. thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, to, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that, I'd thi, I'd, that, tell me the bit again about the shrinks. And I was like, oh God, I thought, what do you do? Like, you know, when you think, you know, before you have kids and you think that everyone sort of understands, at least. Well, you should have just said to her, you think that's bad, mate. There's an illness going around in real life.

The shrinks is the least of your problems. Yeah, that would have made I feel better actually. And we're sending you back to school on day one because we want some fucking space. We're camping outside there the night before to make sure we're first thing. You're going to call it Operation Gini Pig Day. Off you go. You'll be fine. But then she said like, tell me, tell me that bit again. And I was like, so I started to summarize it. And I was like, if I summarize it vaguely, is this kind of doing what she wants? Of course, it was kind of annoying me because I need to make breakfast with both of them.

Oh, because I did the morning today because on Sunday nights Ellis sports one of his many sports podcasts it's one that has to be done in the evening and he has to drink Chan beer while he's doing it right so I pull the bottles of summer beer or his winter beer still what does he mean the socks and the beer happen at the same time and he will have a rosé in August oh what a man very modern man for a Welshman isn't he so basically I did the morning I thi he will have a rosé in August. Oh, what a man. Very modern man for a Welshman, isn't he? And he is.

And so basically I did the morning. I think breakfast can be a bit stressful, can't it? Yeah. Especially with him because he throws everything on the floor. And that's just Alice. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely stuff there. Thanks guys. Um, I'd only just gone back onto the circuit from maternity leave then lockdown happens.

I think all my gears still a bit, you know. All right. Still a bit rough, too. Yeah, so I was a bit stressed anyway. So I was only half concentrating. So I started to summarize it. And I was like, well, it's when your head shrinks into your neck. thin.

thi. saying I was thinking should I really be saying this because she's going to get scared again but she's getting really stroppy if I won't say it then she was like no no say it how it happens then she started to recite the first few sentences like I'm yeah but she does think this thing sometimes like when she's recently read something she can sort of remember the sentence structure I think it also it must really, really affected her, you know. So she tried to say, and their heads, yeah, like she was possessed, and their heads sunk slowly into their necks, into the fatty folds of their necks, and I was like, oh my God. So yeah, it could be tricky. That, so what, how did you end that?

Is she still traumatised? Is she alright? Like just now, she said she wanted exactly that bit again when it happened. I'm like, oh God, I just, so I did it in a sort of cheerful voice. Like it was a nice thing. But I find it hard, like I think sometimes, don't you that? Because there's never a break from them, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like nice thing. But I find it hard like I think sometimes don't you that because there's never a break from them like I think normally because I've been working whatever or I've been out and I'm quite shit staying in anywhere just

want to get out of the house that I think if I'd been away and I'd sort of been felt like me and then I was coming back to it I'd have a lot more patience but you're trying to sort of do everything aren't you? Yeah it's impossible. Yeah. I like you said before about you sort of don't know you've had enough power for the day. I find that there's no, I'm like a laptop that doesn't tell you it's run out of charge. I will just immediately go to plug the power so like there's no like 5% 10% it's just dead. No nothing's happening at all. And I just I I I just there just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm, th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, like, like, like, like, like,, and I walk around, possessive rage, just try to not shout at them and just get into bed. It can be quite surprising what tips you over the edge, can't it? Like, weird little things. Have you found it's hard driving too? Yeah, for sure.

I mean, and him not sleeping, like, that is the thing, sugar and booze are really getting me through this and Ellis is still not really drinking apart from the Chang on Sunday nights and this is sponsored by Chang why is he drinking Chang on a Sunday night? I think at some point and Radio XX gave them some Chang when they work for Radio XX back in the good old days I would have I don't know if I do that now back on X FM he's got a Chang bottle opener. All right. Yeah. It only works on Chang beer. Yeah, exactly. Bottles are coronary can't open. It's all hold next to the bed that won't go up. Why haven't you done the bed as well? Do you need a person to do the bed? Is it a complicated

bed? Well basically, no, we are, so I get a bad back, I've got this inflammatory joint disease that I've got quite mildly, but when I'm stressed I've got more of a chance of getting quite a bad back. So at the beginning of lockdown on my back was one of the worst it's ever been, and it's not been really bad since my 20s. Like I couldn't really walk sideways like a crab. I had to hold onto the wall. I had to crawl up the stairs. I couldn't pick the baby up at all. Oh no. I think that's how the 430 a.m. thing started actually thinking about it. Oh yeah, because

you can't get out of bed. I just got some what was in the oven. But so because of that, I can't, there's no way I could help put a bed up because of the risk, because I can't see an osteopath at the moment. But the other thing is, we've got to take the old bed to the tip anyway, and they're closed. So, no, we've got to be replaced by the today. downstairs anyway. So what are your days involving then? Are you both co-parenting or are you kind of, one's doing parenting and the other is doing

work or are you taking one kid each or how does it work? Well, as I said, right, the weird thing for me is that I've really only just gone back to work from having Steffi. So I reckon if I'd been used to working more, it would hurt more, but I'm sort of only just come off maternity leave, so I'm probably doing a bit more childcare in the day. He tends to do a sports-based podcast or his radio show, which is sports based because John Robbins, well he does like football. He does like crowds.

No it's not like crowds. He's been training for this for years. Yeah, yes. It's most people, isn't he? You know, people who tweets kind of like, well, you know, I've been self-isolating for 25 years. But I'm not like that at all. I really don't like not seeing people but I'd say that I do more than him. He normally works 1.30 or 3.30 or 4.30 every day the mornings is a bit of a free for all normally

we do it together and then I'm doing my book so I'm writing a novel and I've had my notes I'm doing my rewrites but I'm doing like in bed because I can't sit in the dining rooms I can't sit at a table. You're like the grandparents in Willy Wonka? I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they are. I they are. I they are they are. I they are. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th thirty thi thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to thirty to to to to to thirty to to to thirty to to to thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thi thi at a table. You're like the grandparents in Willie Wonka. I'm totally really ar. And of course Betty just comes in the whole time. It's like, Mommy, I need a poo or you know, Mommy, I'm scared of the twit. So it can't. Connection Snellis, hey?

He's still doing it. It should be the joke that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatto continue. I think it should be the joke that runs through every episode of this podcast. We should be doing three or four times an episode if we're worth our sult. You should and you'll get the returns. Yeah. So you're in your bed trying to write your novel. So yeah, and sometimes I only get an hour and some of the notes obviously are quite sort of hefty and I just sort of think, oh God, I can't really think, I feel like I can do sort of technical stuff more easily like maybe cutting a bit, but actually thinking deeply I'm finding quite difficult at the moment. So I think I'm not, I'm doing bits and other bits and bobs I did a voice over for Nat West from under an ironing

board covered with a duvee on like the first day of lockdown. And it was so, do you remember at the beginning it was a bit of a novelty wasn't it? I was like, oh I'm under an ironing board what's going to happen tomorrow? And now I'm just like, oh who's this? Not by the first they're going to be out of their own voices? It will have been under a duvet stripping with sweat in all the rest of me recording. So true and you can't do it naked because you're on Zoom. Like it's not like... I do them into my wardrobe now. I don't do them under the ironing board. Do you? Yeah because when my back got bad I had to ring my voice agent and be like I can't do anything else under the ironing board because my back's bad.

So are you telling me that we're not getting the best sound quality we could possibly have from this interview because you're not in your wardrobe? Is that what? I suppose what this is, I just copy Ellis basically, like this is how he does all his stuff now. Have you cracked open a chang? So Rob always asked this, but it feels like more than any of our guests, it must appeal to you. What would you do if you had one day in the house alone without the others? So I was thinking about this. I had two days on my own in the house.

Do you remember at the very beginning before everything was completely locked down, but we were told not to go out. There was a kind of interim, a bit like when you're sort of seeing someone but you're not going out with them. You're like, oh, what's going on here? Is this going to go somewhere? Unfortunately, it did for all of us. But basically, I lay, it was fucking amazing. I read about this woman who was living a broad where they were ahead of us, so it might have been China or perhaps Italy or something, and she'd watched the morning show, which is the show with Jennifer Aniston, which is great, and I was like, I'll just do what she did, even though we weren't in lockdown, I was like, I don't know anything about this morning

show, I'll just do it. So I just started watching that and I remember saying to Ellis like this is a cross between being in prison and being on holiday and being on sort of love it. But that was because the kids weren't here. And so I'd like two days of that. And then with the bed being delivered on one of those days, it's been, oh, we'll put it up tomorrow. Like, we could have done it then, the tip was still open. And then the kids were off and I was like, oh my God, it isn't isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't. the the kids. And I's the kids. And the kids. And the kids. And the kids. And the kids. And the kids. And the kids. And I was like, oh my God, it isn't going to be like being in prison and being on holiday, it's just going to be like being in prison, but with your food, it's a little cell. It feels a bit like I've retired, but my children were like unreliable sort of like drug addicts and I've had to take on their children. So I imagine what those grown parents are like they've had like, for a way of reason why they're just like they've had like a lot of reason to take on their grandkids for life and you're just like I've got the energy but I've literally seen

leaves grow in my garden I don't know right bit English I've got a garden but I sat at my garden for I can see that leave growing that's how long I've been in that leaf is moving before my life before my life? And is it as well have you had like a low light of lockdown and a highlight? Is there a bit where you thought, oh this is loving, a bit where you just thought, oh this has got her end? I'd say that within each day there are moments like that. Like within each day there are moments where I'm like, it sounds a really cheesy, but stuff like you'll be with the kids and you'll just be having a laugh and you thin' thi. Yeah, actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually not. Like I do love my kids so much by the way. Like I know you said this as well on the first episodes

and then it's important isn't it to say like I do. That disclaim is there. Yeah. Well I did that out don't worry. Yeah. Yeah. So there are like simple moments I say in each day when I'm like this is all right. It's. the th. the th. the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the. the the the. the the each day when I'm like, this is all right, you know, it's fucking weird, it's all right, actually it's all right, it's night. And then there are other bits of the day where I think like Rob said, like you just, you surprise yourself that you haven't got any patience left. And I think that's not a nice feeling is it? Like, no. And especially when that like Betty, Betty wanted you that, like, like, like, like, like, like Betty, like Betty, like, especially when that like Betty wanted to help me mop the floor tonight. She started mopping all the bits that hadn't swept. She was like mopping bits of sweet corn in

Sylvania family's baths like into the sides of the kitchen and then into the bit that was going to, you know, was going to have to be swept and so I felt like, don't do that. And I was like, oh, you know, it's all the th th th th th th th that it's all, it's all, it's all, that it's all, that it's all, that it's all, that it's all, that's all, that's all, that's all, that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all right, you that's that's that, you're that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, you that, you th. th. th. that, you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin. thee. thee. thee. thee. thin. th. thee. thee. thee. thee. th. 't do that. And then I was like, stop myself. And I was like, oh, you know, it's all right. We just got to sweep it first. But I find that takes sometimes quite a lot of energy, like having to go, don't do, don't say that to her. She's just trying to help me mop. You know, yeah. everything becomes magnified doesn't it? Yeah and it's so intense isn't it? It's like that argument me and Ellis had where he was like you always say what it's like we never would have had that argument but we're together all the time

I'm surprised we haven't had more arguments to be honest. Yeah it sounds pretty good considering the situation with a kid getting up at 430 a.m. Yeah you're right. Well maybe we'll speak to Ellis and it will sound a bit to the the to the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. the the the th. the th. the thirty. the the the the th. the the th. thirty. thirty. thirty. to say. to say. to say. I'll to say. I'm to say. I'm to say. I'm to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I. Every day. Yeah, you're right. Well maybe we'll speak to Ellis and it will sound a bit of a different story. Yeah. You're sleeping into our fate every day. I mean even today. What is it like when he wakes you? Does he wake you with like a cup of tea and joy in his heart or does he wait you with like... He brings the baby, oh yeah, with what? With like a day to say. Yeah. It's like a day to say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's a day. It's a day. It's a day. It's a day. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's a day. It's a day. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like a day. It's like29 actually. So he brings the baby in and the baby is always really pleased to see me so he just crawls over the bedclothes and jumps on me and that's just Ellis. Um. I've got really really. I said have you guys done anything like I've got this thing where I have to have a cup of tea when I wake up and then at 845 a.m. and then another one at like after lunch and if I don't do that and they have to be in specific

mugs and with going to sleep. I have a similar thing where I've got a... What do you mean in one ear? Well because I sleep on my side so if I put it in the ear that's on the pillow I can feel the earplug and it just... Oh I see. Yeah. How do you have the kids? Well I don't want to so... Does Ellis have earplugs as well? No. I cannot wait to hear Ellis side of this. Even today so obviously because he did his the sports one where he drinks the Chang last night. I was spending a misdemeanor from Chang for this advertising. Yeah you're so right actually yeah and it was from beer 52. Anyway. So I was like basically I will, I will get up don't worry but because of my back I can't lean over the car and stroke which is what we're supposed to do

if he wakes up early to try and get him back to sleep it never works so we woke up at 415 this morning right and I have the ear plug in and I wear a t-shirt over my eyes as well to keep the... What? A t-shirt over your eyes? Yeah I don't like eye masks because I can feel like the pressure around my head I don't understand how people can wear them. It's like you can feel like this banned pressing. You know when you said that you were like you thought that your daughter was a good sleep because you were so laid back and relaxed and then you describe how you sleep with one ear plug it. Yeah, and white noise playing in headphones in my ears.

Have you thought about getting a sleep trainer in for yourself? That's such a good idea. But the sleep train would have to make me get up because I'm just so shit. Ellis used to be the one who would go to bed late and be really bad in the mornings and he's totally trained like he's not really drinking, he's not eating sugar. I just eat sugar all the time to get through the day and have a drink every night. Not've got into all this old school stuff since lockdown like York fruits, chocolate oranges, bailies. And then I was going to have a bailies last night and I've got the ice cubes out and they were just covered in crumbs.

You know when there's crumbs like in the ice cubes as well as on top? They're like, how have they even frozen in there they was to fall in. I don't know they're all fish fingers all day long. That is a fish finger crumb. Yeah you're so right. But I still managed to salvage too and have a bailee. But like this morning, I had this set up with the ear plug and the t-show over my eyes right. And so it's always Ellis who wakes up anyway so it's like a 415 and he was like oh he's a wake. So it's like a 4. the 4. the 4. the 4. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to salv. to salvage. to to to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salvage. to salv. to salv. to salv. to salv. to salv. to salv. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. So. So. So, the. the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, th. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, and stroke him? So that's his morning off. So he has to go and stroke his back and try. So it took until 525 to get him to sleep. Oh my, just pure stroking? Yeah, and then he woke, slept for a quarter of an hour and then woke up. Again.

Again. Pointless. . . Is Is is. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the problem is you never know whether it's going to be worth it or not, do you? Like this could be the time that it works. Oh, God. You made me feel so much better about my kids sleeping before the night waking up at R5 and I don't say that to many people.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's what it is. Poor old Ellis, look at him on. I'd love to know if everyone agrees with you, but I think you're right, like, but when I say like he does the mornings in exchange for me cook, doing all the cooking and cleaning and tidy, and some of my mates are like, wow, he's really lucky. But as soon as you mention the baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby wakes the baby wakes the baby wakes the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby like wow he's really lucky but as soon as you mentioned the baby wakes up at half four that's the game changer isn't it? Yes well it depends if you're an early riser it's doable but if you're not it's impossible that. When I wake up at half six, Ellis has been up for two hours. Yeah I know and when he wakes me up up for half thou-half hours. When I needs to work to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the baby the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th tha tha tho tho tha tha tho tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha the baby wakes up the I'm not half a faith, he's been up for four hours. Four hours!

Like when I used to work at Sainsbury's, you had to have a quarter of an hour break. How did you be up for that? That was the law? Yeah. Oh my looge. So Ellis' legally, his to sleep because they'd moved my earplugs him and Betty to Ellis's side and I couldn't find them and I spent like a quarter of an hour trying to find with my torch and I couldn't find him I tried to sleep and I couldn't sleep.

So when he worked me up at half eight even though he'd had less sleep than me. I was like, where did you put my earplugs? And he was like, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. they. they. I, and I, they. their, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and I, and I, and I, and, and I, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, t. And, t. And, try, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, I'm too tired I need to go back to sleep so then he let me sleep till like 10. What? Oh wow! I mean in your defense you do have a bad back but at the moment yeah poor old Ellis but it isn't bad at the moment it's totally better like I'm trying to dig you out of this hole is it? Well I'm always in danger of it getting bad so it's very important to remember. What's he up to in the four hours does he fill you in on what times Betty get up as well? The thing is right so this is the advantage for him. He gets to watch loads of sport like football from the age of

where there's none on at the moment. I know but you know what Ellis is like if anyone doesn't he loves nostalgia doesn't he and he loves looking at all watch all the old stuff he is so happy to watch all the old stuff he doesn't care of the new stuff so he'll watch like reruns of all or Swansies the goals from like a particular season or like interviews with managers and stuff and because he does so many sports based podcast He's all got work to do like to watch a whole game or to watch like a documentary on baseball and stuff So he actually does work in in the morning right with Steffi just playing with you know blocks And what's time will the older the child wake up? So she's always been great like even when she was like eight weeks old she woke up at eight and I can say that now because. just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to their their their to to to to their their their their their their their their work their work their work their work their to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work their their their their their their their their their their their they's got they's got their their they's got their their their th th got th got th got th got work th got work th got work work th got work th got work th got work tho tho tho their their their their th got th got work their to their to time will the older the child wake up? So she's always been great, like even when she was like eight weeks old she woke up at

eight and I can say that now because we've got a shit sleep. I wonder why she gets that from us? Wonder who she's... I've already got a trained with the one here plug and their t-shirt right. She's not now, she sometimes wakes up at like seven but never normally earlier than that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. they's always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's got. She's. She's. She's. She's. She'sthan that. Yeah, I mean this is just one he's got in the morning because they gang up on you when there's more on one. When he's got one that can just crawl about and play with toys and he can watch sport.

He's definitely sleeping on the sofa again. Have you getting like a safe space for the baby? Yeah, I put a little camera in the living in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in thin in thin in thin in thin in thin in thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to to thin' to to to to to th he's getting another four hours. Probably is. And making me cook meals from scratch. Yeah. What I'm still? And he hasn't even got a bad back sometimes? And I'm more emotional. I'm just more of an emotional person so I just need more space. Exactly. Do you get a lot of takeaways by the way? See, we've only we do it only at weekends. We've got the rule at weekends. We've got the rule at weekends.. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. to to to to to cook. to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook th. to cook meals. to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. to cook. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the meals. the the the the thea. the took. to cook meals. to cook meals. the. t lot of takeaways by the way? We've only seen we've only had only weekends. We've got the rule at weekends but we go for it at weekends badly. So we do. I'm quit for four. Well no we did so this weekend take away Friday because it's the last leg so that's

fair enough I think. Yeah. Then we do we did this weekend this is awful. Saturday lunchtime Sunday night. Oh my God. Isn't that? do, we did this weekend, this is awful. Saturday lunchtime, Saturday night, Sunday lunchtime, and Sunday night. Isn't that? Isn't that terrible? During the week we eat really well. What did you get in the lunchtime? Pastor on the Sunday, which is the easiest thing to make in your own house? Pastor! But I can't emphasize how hungover I was. And, fair enough. And we got Vietnamese on Saturday lunchtime. But we don't, during the week we eat very healthy. But then at the weekend we just lose. And then full, full Indian curry take around the Sunday as well.

Absolute carnage. Beast! But if you're doing well in the week, we had loads at the start. But we've calmed down now, we've got into a bit a a the the the the the the the the the the the th. We've got, th. to to to, th. th. to, to, th. th. th. to, to, to, to, thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Wea, th. Wea, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-a, to-a.a.a. Wea. Wea. We've, toea. We've, toea. We've, toea. We've, toea. We've, toda. We had loads at the start but we've calmed down now we've got into a bit of a rhythm so of cookies we have it yeah weekends we will are you having a lot there no no we've only had one since the beginning of lockdown and that's because Ellis so we have a lunch at 1145 poor old Ellis has been out for seven hours starving I had a bowl of cereal before five I am he does have to have like to have like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to be to be a to be a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. toooooo toe. too. too. too. too. the the. He does have to have like to toast at 11 because it's been on 4 meals just to survive. So we have lunch at like 5 or quarter past 5. So I said to our like quite early on, you know, we don't know how long this is going

to last and all that but do you want to get, should we get a takeaway, maybe once a week or once a fortnight? He was like, well I still want to eat at five because I need to go to bed at half ten, I don't want to eat late. So I was like, oh, I let's try it. So we've got an Indian at 5 p. Do you have friends that are acting like they're living this kind of wonderful life in this lockdown? I actually don't know anyone who is having a brilliant time, which is great. I know, I know a wide range of people and I know a lot of people who have quite a wide range of people and I know a lot of, that sounds really like, I know, like, what I mean is I know like a lot of people who have got corporatey jobs, like not jobs like ours, and I know a lot of people who have got jobs like ours, and I know a lot of people with kids and a lot of people without kids. And I'd say that everyone has different kind of hardships

for different reasons. Like I sometimes find myself thinking, I don't know if you do as well, like I find myself imagining if this had happened 10 years ago, how much I'd be accomplishing because I wouldn't have had kids yet. But then I think, but people who were at that stage perhaps, it's not like they're getting up every day and doing yoga and getting loads of work to, like, it is hard for everyone. I do sometimes feel like kids, they need you so much guilty that you're not giving them enough and it's quite hard things in lockdown. And you try and have as much fun as possible and hope they're learning a bit and stuff but then I am also really grateful for the routine yeah yeah you have to have lunch I don't think Ellis is so I would be too 30 a.m. is he? I hate 30 a.m.

I'm wearing ready for the day but I don't mean though the day goes quicker with kids. I wouldn't want to be on the only door all day. I'll go bed. I'd find it tremendously difficult I think. But the thing is also I go to bed I go to bed a lot later than him. But he doesn't seem to need time to digest the fact we're in lockdown whereas I sometimes just sit there for like 20 minutes. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I 20 minutes after he's gone to bed and I'm like, oh my God, like we can't, we're in lockdown. Like it's still kind of sinking here. He's just like, oh yes, I'll take my history book to the to the window and look out of it. There was a bit because he's got crones and he was told he couldn't go out for 12 weeks and now, so they've said that he's a moderate risk but at first they said he was high risk and that he couldn't leave the house for 12 weeks right and a lot of people that would have been quite shattering news and he was just like all well I'll sit on the this bit you can open the window on the landing it's like I'll sit on the

landing and get some sun on my legs and I'll read my history book just for seven minutes a day and I'll be all right. Seven minutes. I've got to remember this is a man who's got a lot of time in the morning. He's got 240 minutes before you've got happy to. Oh no you can do whatever he wants he's watching sports documentaries I mean you know in a way he's got a good deal hasn't he? Yeah he could do a full East Enders Omnibus first thing. What I've discovered is that there are first thing, and crack on with a day. So what I've discovered is that there are certain things you can watch in the morning and certain things you can't.

I tried to watch Charlie Brooker's viral wipe today, and it was too good to be able to watch while I was looking after the baby as well. I don't want to look at the screen. Yeah I love I love getting up when this big boxing match or UFC match on late a night and it's like finishes at five in the morning I love getting up with the girls because I can stick a telly on from somewhere and then go and watch the fights on my iPad and then I feel like I'm getting a little bonus morning so maybe he's doing that every day who knows we'll find out though well well Ellis come on busy so we can corroborate all these stories yeah can you tell him that he needs to

come on and defend himself he's gonna be treated as a hero if anything he's what's keeping Britain alive I'd like you to go in neutrally and hear his side I'd like I'd like you to go in neutrally and hear a a a neutral I'm he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go I I I I I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I to go I'm he he he he he he he he to go to go to go to go in neutral I'm he to go in neutral I'm he to go in neutral I'm to to go in to to to to to to go in neutral I'm to go in neutral I'm to go mapping, and I would do the ironing if he wanted me to iron his shirt so that he could sit on the window sill and everyone could see. He came out and he hardly ever goes out because he does so much child care. I does get the afternoons. I'm sure he will come on, but he didn't want to talk about any arguments we have. So just don't tell him I said. Isie, th than than's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he he he he to he he he he to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he have. I don't want anyone to know. So just don't tell him I said. Um, Izzy, thanks so much. It's been such a pleasure. Um, you need to get to bed because you're up in, um, what is it's nine o'clock now, so you're up in 10 and a half hours. Thanks, thanks, Izzy. Thank you. Thank you. I absolutely love that. That's great. She's th. T th. T is. T is. T is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. absolutely love that.

That's great, she's brilliant, isn't she? Obviously, did make you feel better about your own situations. Yeah, she's so jolly though, but then we found out why? Because she gets up at 830. I mean, to be fair, she does do a lot of stuff, so it's just, yeah. If Ellis is happy and everyone's happy, that's the split. I think if you can find a split split thap split thap split thap split thap split thi split thi split thi split thi split thi split thi split thi split thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi one of you's doing the thing that you don't mind doing and the other's doing the thing that they don't mind doing, that's the

perfect situation. If you was Ellis though, right, and the baby started waking up at say like, we made a little noise then and he got up and then the baby went back to sleep for two hours, would you say anything, I used get back into bed or sleep on the sofa or what? Like what would you do? I used to, so I'd get up when my daughter was waking up at like five and then I'd take her out. It was during the World Cup because it was really hot. So I'd go out and I'd listen to the BBC World Cup.

And we'd go to the park. And I'd get, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, to, to, to, to... to, to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the to. to.a, to. to. to. I'm, to.a, to. I'd, to. I'd, to. I'd, to. I'd, to. I'd, the the to the park and I'd get it was two hours until her nap and then I'd always nap downstairs with her. Oh yeah definitely you sleep when they sleep when they sleep that's a classic. Yeah I just I just as soon as she was down I was down on the sofa but it also makes you look like more of a hero doesn't if you've been downspereed all that time. A hero a hero. A hero. That's the thing that be interesting. A that be interesting. It that be interesting. It that be interesting. It that be interesting. It's that be interesting. It's that be interesting. It's that be interesting. It's that be interesting. It's that be interesting. It's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the they. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. I. It's just. I. It's just. It's just. I. It's just. It's a. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. it's that's the thing that be interesting to see if you know what Ellis thinks of it or because everyone's so I know it's such a cliche isn't it but like every every it's all difference behind closed doors but like everyone's got their own weird little quirks and set up of what they do and with it works the people it works but. What job would be the one the one you'd like to swap out so you don't have to do the the to do. to do. to do. the. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, I. So, the. So, the. So, the the the the the to. So, the the the. the the to. So, the the the the the the the to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. So. It's. So. So. So. So. So, it. So. So. So, it. So, it. So, it. So, it. So, it. I. I. I. I. I. So, the. I. I. I. I. the. the. I's. I's. the. the. I's the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the after two months of lockdown, I'd get used to it because my body clock will change because I'm not working late. I just can't, I just can't cope before about eight in the morning.

But if you said to me you've got to stay up till three, four in the morning with kids for whatever reason, I could do that easy. I just, I'm just not, I'll just not, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, take, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll tak, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I'll, t, t, t, t, t, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tak, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, to cope, to cope, to cope, to cope, to cope, to to cope, to to cope, to cope, own, I'll do tidy and I'll do all the cooking but I just can't get up early. My body just doesn't allow it. Oh see I'm not I'd take the early mornings I'd swap it out for I would love to swap it out for bedtime. The joy I would feel if I knew that I had that that extra hour so that my day was ending an hour earlier I'dtake the early morning for the bedtime. Obviously, you didn't have to do bedtime. How look, is it taking you an hour to do bedtime? I reckon door to door, it's an hour. To door to door. Is that when people talk about how close they live to London? Yeah, so I just hopped straight in.

How long in a cab, mate. Well, I've told you this something something. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to, to, to do, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door to door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door, door. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A, I don't, I, to, to, to, to, to, I do an encore with bed's time. So where I say good night to her and then I go out, but I know she's going to ask me to come back in. So there's this false ending and then I'll come back in for one last kind of good night. They do, they do anything they can to delay it. They'll start telling you they love you, all sorts. Yeah, well, it hasn't come th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's they's they's they's they's they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to to say to say to say to say. I to say. I that hasn't come to that yet, but one day. Well the two-year-old we're potty trading will go I need a wee wee. We know she doesn't right because she still won't a nappy overnight but because she's potty trading she knows that we have to take her so then every night I put her on it she doesn't we and I go you finish she goes yeah and I just know it's coming. Bedtime and it's just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just Iics that have been developed over time. So there's, there is, she's got these eight Paddington books

and she has to post each one through the bars of the cot. She has to walk a small bit in a pair of roses shoes. She has to, like every single thing is like these small. It's so true. I need fresh water. Yes, you can have fresh fresh water. Can I have fresh water for my drink? Yes, you can have fresh water. Yeah, okay. I've already put fresh water and you saw me do it an hour ago. I'm not doing it again, okay? You don't need any fresher than that. So you say is it an hour? Yeah, but each that hour is made up of 68 different events.

They're all back to back. I but they have to be done or your kid doesn't go asleep, let us know and get in contact with the podcast. Hello at lockdownparentin.coad.uket. And remember to subscribe to the podcast and give us a nice, fast start rating. That's all the business, come back next time. We'll have more of this. See you then, bye.