Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP11: Jack Dee

Episode Date: June 2, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP11: Jack DeeJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is one of the countries most beloved comedians, the legend - Mr Jack Dee.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,

and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with one makeet and and that's freedom. Excellent yeah happy with those too. A lot of energy on the Beckett there and then it's sort of trailed off with the Wicke. And Dosh Whidicam. Dosh Widdicum. Yeah, eight years of last leg. Absolutely Koko Baco. Do you know even worse? These people, this is Molly who is a two and a half year old Australian. Oh, so you know last leg should have really cut through over there as well annoyingly. Yeah, she was minus six when that show started. Molly has been stuck in an apartment with only her dad for company for much of the lockdown

as her mum Jen is a health worker. They've been getting increasingly frustrated with each other to extent she's recently told her dad to just go and watch the news when you annoyed her first thing in the morning. I get to don't see me th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theate. Goa the. theateole. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. tea. tea. tolea'a'a'a'eolea' tole. tea'ea' tole. tea. thea. to just go and watch the news when you annoyed their first thing in the morning. I get told don't see me, go away, don't look at me, go away. I'm not sure if we have discussed the before. That is always bittersweet isn't it? Because you think, oh, license to not have to do the parenting. Well, yeah, exactly. You sort of, you want to be wanted, but you don't be wanted wanted to be wanted to be wanted to be wanted to be wanted when wanted when wanted when wanted when when when when when I need to get off my chest about parenting. Go on. I cannot tell you how much I hate paddling pools. Oh the worst, yeah I'm with you. I've banned them in my house. They're just an absolute.

There's no point of the paddling pool process that isn't horrific piece of shit in your life. Yeah, it gets too dirty, it's slippy, it ruins the grass, it takes ages to fill up. Really difficult to MD. Yeah, the kids go in it for about a second, you have to watch them the whole time in case they just lie in it, face down for no reason. It's the ultimate death trap, it's not fun for them really. Sliping or drowning are the two. thapaping thapapapaping thapapapaping th. th. th. th. thiiiiiiii stuff. th. thiii stuff. thiii stuff. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the the the thi. the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip. the tha. tha. tha tha tha tha the two things that you're thinking about. There's no relaxing for the parent. No. Can you swim, Josh? Can you? I can't really swim, no. But I could. Yeah, are you scared around water? I'm not scared around a paddling pool. No, but. I could do, I'm short, Rob, and I can't swim, but it's not that big a paddling pool. So she's straightaway is filling it with shit, filling it with stuff. So we've got a ball, like a little ball pool that we bought. Every single ball has gone in the paddling pool and then combined with paper and toys and

and then I'm just left to fish all this shit out and then try and dispose of all this water onto a lawn which, it's just the whole thing has been awful and then they just want to do it again. They do just do that is the problem of the kids. I do want to keep doing stuff over and over again even if it is boring. But what I do now is you can get little sprinkler that they can get just a sprinkler that put that up, they can run through it or there's just like a big tubeube, that fills up you plug the hose into it, fills out of water and then spurts out of it like a sort of water feature type thing that they can

jump on so that's good. Better than a paddling pool. I used to love the sprinkler. I used to love the sprinkler when I was a kid. Running through the sprinkler was the best. Probably the happiest I've the happiest I've th I've th. Probably the th. th. Probably the th. th. It's thi I've th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu. Probably thu. Probably thu. Probably thu. Probably thu. Probably thu. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thr-I the. Probably the. Probably the, I've thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably thi. Probably th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It th th. It's th th thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi's thi's thi's thi's thr' thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, the theeeeeeeeeeeat throoooooo done you've just done it again I think there should we should really have a jingle and a feature which is for when you suggest an item that people can buy to make their lives better because it happens at least once on every episode. I'm that annoying but am I annoying parent though because I hate parents who don't I think you're just like it feels like you've been moonlighting for QVC or something, so you've got all of these great ideas. I should bring up merch, the Becken Sprinkler. How have you been, Rob? Yeah, not too bad. The potty training has come on. We've had two days in a row of poo in potty,

not in knickers. We have got a giant box of toys though and she gets a toy, not like expensive toy. Not, their. We. We. We. to to to too. too. too. too. their. too. too. their. too. too. their. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to too, the the the too, too, I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. too. too. too. too. t toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toe. toe. I. I. I. I've to. I. I. box of toys though and she gets a toy like a try, not like expensive toy, went down home bargains and got basically plastic that you're not allowed to buy because it ruins the world. But at this stage of my life I'm willing to take that risk for my own sanity. For shit in a potty. Yeah, for shit in a bit older, I'll stop. Alright! That's your truth. That's my truth. It is as well.

Yeah, I don't have a piece of plastic shit to get a shit in a posse. That is totally acceptable, I think. I will use single use plastic. I'm sorry. I feel like you're not backing me up on this, Josh, because you do the last leg. No, no, no, I just haven't, I haven't got to the point where I'm hanging you up to dry, mate. Once this conversation has been written down and reprinted in, in the Daily Mail, I'll look clean as a whistle. Oh, God, you look great. It would just say, I'm way to come sat there in silent, too, the, the, the, the, th and, thi, th, thi, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. to, I. I. I. I. I. to, I. to. I. I. to. I. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. to, we get, we're pooing in the potty and she's very happy and excited about it.

So, yeah, morale is very good and also we're at the point now where people can come around in the afternoon, in the garden and be two meters apart. So morale's good, we're seeing people. And my kids are back to school, pre't she? Wednesday, she goes back to nursery on Wednesday. They've removed the sand pit from nursery because obviously that is a corona disaster waiting to happen. We've got all the information. We've got our slots. I've managed to, I feel like I've got an a Cardo slot. We've got the slot we wanted which was the earliest possible drop-off and the latest possible pickup, absolutely delighted with that. Absolutely first class. That's what you wanted. Everyone's going for. Earliest drop-off. What times you got? We've got between 830 and 850 drop-off?

I don't know if I'm late. I've just got visions of pegging it down the street at 848. I'm going to miss a chance. Yeah, because they can't go in, can they then? No I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the their the the their their their the their their thi their thi their their their their their their thi. their their th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. try. try. tome. try. tomea. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. try. go in, can they then? No, I don't know what would happen. We just be stacked outside and then we've got a pickup I think is 510 to 530. Oh, that is a long day. Our one's more of a preschool so it's nine till 3.30 but they're new hours of 10 till two so it's only a lot shorter. But yeah, yeah, it's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. It's enough. th. th. th. It's enough. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the. to to to to to the to to the. to to the. the. the. the. thooo. the. the how the drop-off went. I do feel sorry for those kids though that like go to breakfast school, whatever it is, and they get dropped off at like half-seven in the morning, and then get picked up at six again, that's hard work and then that's difficult. It's a long old day for a kid, mate. Yeah. It's a lot, that's a much longer day's work than they should unionize those children because those are actually, their human rights

are being broken by the length of those hours? Do you know what, I think it would be really good for kids because a lot of the time parents do that because they have to because they have to commute because they have to work at, home now, they can start work at work at nine. They don't have to leave their train, and their and their and their and their and their. And their. And their, their, their, their, I, their, I, their, I, I, their, I, their, their, their, I's, I's, I's, th, they, they's, I'm, I'll, I'm, I'm, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, I, I, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.. And, I, I, I, I, I, I. And, I. And, I, I, I. And, I, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I's, I's, I's, I's, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, toda. And, toda. And o'clock-ish rather than dropping him off at the silly o'clock so I just wouldn't tell my child I was working from home is that simple I just I just drop him off at Brax Club then I just sit in the car alone for an hour and a half for enjoying my life. That's fine until they get to about 13 and start talk be like, yeah, but my friend, his dad, only used to drop him off at 10 till 2, and then I'll be the best one and you'll look evil.

Well you play the wrong game, Rob, and I am going to be enjoying an episode of Pointless, and no one will disturb me. Right, correspondence. It's the lockdown parrot in mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. This is from Alex Smith. Hi, Rob and Josh. I've just listened to your fabulous podcast with Izzy Souty. What an absolute bloody legend her other half sounds. Taking inspiration from your Simon Sam correspondent,

so he's done some maths here. An extra four hours in bed a day, which is what Izzy gets over Ellis, equates to 28 hours a week, which equates to 122 hours a month. Or, to put it another way, Izzy is having 61 extra in bed per year. Oh! Imagine Oh my God! She's got two months extra in bed! When Ellis hears about this? We've got to get him on and read these facts to him. That is mind-blowing.

She's got an extra 61 days in bed. Do you know what? We've had a lot of love for it? That has been the greatest PR drive Ellis has ever done in his life that podcast. He's going to be welcome on to this podcast like a kind of the king of parenting. It's gonna be unbelievable. I've talked about the Teresa figure. This is a Saint Ellis. Oh I can't wait to speak to him about it. Izzy obviously has done herself a world of damage with that interview but there there we go. Some win some loses. Right. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee in to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. things. things. things. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. things. things. the the thepresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup.

Make every morning unforgettable with Nispresso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or an espresso boutique near you. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers. Up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides.

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And the things you have to do to get your child to go to bed. This is from Karen Gumble. Dear Rob and Josh, you ask for tales of other people's bedtime routines. And we had quite a weird one. When my son was about two and a half, he's currently five, he started to have to do a dance before bed. We would have to sit and be his audience and play music from our phones. Well he danced and jumped about like a nutcase, jumping off the bed, most requested tunes were Adam Ants, Prince Charming, Beastie Boys Fight for Your Right to Party, or the theme tune from Iron Man cartoon

who watches on Netflix. Bedtime would take forever as it would also include a bath or shower trying to catch him running about naked afterwards, getting him dressed, the dancing, and at least two stories, plus cuddling him until he went to sleep. Oh my God. These things, these routines, these routines, these routines, these routines, these routines, these routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, thi. These routines, th. These routines, th. These routines, the, thi. These routines, th. These routines, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. too, too. too, too. the. too. tune. tune. too. tune. tune. tune. too. tune. tune. too. too, the. tune. tune, these routines that you get in before putting a child in bed are absolutely the most soul-sapping thing in the world once you realize you've got another bit locked in. My daughter has to put on my wife's shoes and walk through from the bedroom to her room now which takes at least five minutes and is

I mean obviously it's pointless yeah but it's so heartbreaking every day when you realize that's the next bit that you've got coming up. Could I suggest something? I don't... Here we go. This is what I always try and do is. Try and make what they're trying to do more fun and exciting but quicker but quicker. So you can be like, oh my god, mommy you see what the shoes did today? But you told mommy what the shoes did? And then she's like, oh my god, I've got turbo shoes.

And then it sort of will speed up the process. Do you know what? I'm going to do that? And then I'll report back on how turbo went. Good. Good. Well, let's see. That's what that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the. That's, the. That's, the. That's, the. That's, the, the, the, the. I. I. the. the, the, I, I've. I've. I've, I've. I've. I've, I've. I've. I've. I've. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I've. Oh, I think that's what there's, was it it, Karen Gumble? Karen Gumble there, obviously her son loves the Iron Man song and that's the song he wants to dance to and they've slipped in these new suggestions that will be funny for them to watch. Well what, so you don't think he's a fan of the Beastie voice? I don't. I don't think so. It so. It th so. It th so. It th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr-I thr-I's to to to to to toeeean. toean. toean. toe. toe. thean. thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's the. It might be a bit before his time. He's only five, aren't he? If you have anything you want to get in touch with us about that we've discussed or we'll discuss for the rest of the episode, if you want Ellis James's number, that kind of thing. Or if you've got a question that I will give you, what would Rob Beckett do? Yes. That's the that's the feature. the shoes. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the. the. the their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the their. their. the their. their. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theateateateatea. theatea. theatea. theatea. thea. theatea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. th the bedroom, yeah, that's slowing you up, hold off a turbo shoes. So if you've got any other problems or any other bedtime routine things or stuff with kids, ask us and I'll tell you what I'd do. I'm not saying it might be the right thing, but it's what I'll do in my kids.

By the end of this, you're going to be like, when we're growing up there, there's that woman the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, tho, the woman, tho, thin, thin, the nation. You're going to be like, you're going to be like super nanny. I'm going to sniff out a book deal and then a TV show. I'm just going to stroll around in a suit and be like, this would Rob Beck it would do. Turbo shoes on that wingy little bitch. Imagine if you got brought in by nightmare parents on like parents on like parents. Parents are having a disaster and you try to the padl in the the their their their their their their. Para their. Para. Para. Para. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. I'm thi. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I'm just thr-I's tri. I'm just tria. I'm just tria. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just throa. I'm be be incredibly watchable but I don't know how it would go down from the nation. Get better of the paddling pool, it's sprinkler time, stuff like that. Right, where have we got to? Let's introduce our guest. So the guests this week, an absolute barnstormer Josh, one of the most famous comedians in the country, one of the best comedians we've ever produced the legend that is Jack D. Hello Jack D, how are you? I'm very well, thank you Josh, yeah, you? Yeah, I'm a great, yeah. That's not very on-brand for you being very well. Well, this is in a way I feel I'm in my element now.

It's just what I've waited for all my life. You know, everyone's miserable and frightened and staying in, you know. It's, well, I haven't, I'm not, I'm not big facetious about it, of course, I, but it's part of the thing is that you can't, one of the worst things is, oh, how are you? You know, you've thought, well, you think I am? How do you think I am? thi pandemic on? Have you not read the news? I'm like everyone else. I am worried and bored. That's how I am. What's your sleet up at home, Jack? How many kids you've got? Are they still at home or are

they in their own places? Well, I've got four children and my kids are grown up so they don't necessarily live here all the time although we are observing strict regulations of course we are. One of them lives in Barnard Castle. She has the 2020 eyesight which we're very proud of. But now I've got two sons who are living with us all the time because they've come back from university they're both at universities and so they've been doing one has been doing end of the end of year exams and so that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho the tho the the thi thi the the the th. the th. One the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the to to to to to to to the to to to theeeeeeeeeeee to theeee thee the the the the the the th all the time because they've come back from university, they're both at universities. And so they've been doing, one has been doing his finals and one has been doing end of year exams and so that's been, you know, that sort of background tension of people not looking forward to exams and stuff. So are they doing the exams from home? How does that work? Yeah, well they have this open book exam thing, which I think, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, th, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, theeeei, thin, thin, the. thee. the. the. the, thi, thi, think which is what I always thought was cheating but they're allowed to do their their exams on the internet they you know they get so

they get emailed the exam paper at nine o'clock they have to hand it in at 12 and I suppose it's like whatever you can do I just you know yeah are you invigilating walking up and down making sarcastic comments over their shoulder. Oh, you didn't want to put that. And they're twins, aren't they? So you're two sons of twins? They're twins. So they're both 22 and they're, they're non-identical so they're very, very different. And so he's like, it is, you know, it's not like you've got two kind of kind of kind of around the place. I couldn't, you know, couldn't have any of telepathy and all that going on at the table. That would not, that would not work for me. If they have been identical, I think I would have just

done eenemey, meeny, money and sold one of them. I just wouldn't want that going on, would you? It'd be horrible. You know, they speak their own little language and everything. Oh, hell-doh. What was the moment like when you realized that you were going to have three, but now you're going to have four children? Well, the news was broken to me actually by Hattie, who's our eldest daughter. She was then, she was, what, six.

And I got paid, I was working at ITV, and I got Paige to go to the front desk. And when I turned up, Jane, my wife was there with Hattie and Phoebe, our two daughters. My memory is Hattie running towards me with this photo, the scan photo, saying, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there there there there there there there there there were there were the, the, their tho, the, and the, and the, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I tha, and I tha, and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I..... And, and I I I I I I I I I I was, and I I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was a thi, and I was a thi, thi, that, that, tha, this photo, the scan photo, saying, there are two of them, they were two of them. Really excited because she hadn't, we hadn't found out until it was about a 20-week scan or something.

And, and the guy doing the sort of thing is that, oh, have we told you if they're identical or not? Jane said, what? And that's how to find out. identical. What you're talking about? Wow. We were lucky there because we'd already had two children so we kind of knew a bit about how to look after babies and kids and stuff like that. I think I've got friends and you probably know people as well who have twins first time round and I just don't know how they cope with that. Because that is a bad enough shot with one of them is the, isn't it?

You know, one baby will ruin your life. What did two do at the same time? Two of them coming in? I mean, just awful. Yeah. So what's it like having twins? So are you putting them down to bed at the same time? Are you trying to bath? is it all like, are you just trying to double team them in that sense? No, they would never, they were never in sync. They would look with each other, they could never kind of like both be hungry at the same time, both be tired at the same time. They did shift work, they were shift work. That's what it was. It was twoo. So it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24 it was 24. So it was 24 it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24 it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. So it was 24. It was 24. It was 24. It was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was. So, it was. So, it was. So, it was, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24. So, it was 24. So, it was 24. So, it was 24. So, it was 24. So, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, 24, 24 hour. So, 24 hour. So, it was 24 hour. So, it was 24 hour. It was 24 hour. It was 24 hour, 24 hour, 24 hour, 24 hour, 24 hour, 24 hour, 24 hour, it was 24, it was 24, it was 24, it fall asleep, the other one wake up, and so you have to get them out of the room in case they wake the other one up. It really was chaos. In fact, we, a couple of times, we just hired a nanny, me and Jane and just went away to a hotel for the weekend to sleep.

You know, literally just a hotel. Just, we're just goingthey're asleep for 25 hours. Oh, what's at a point though where you thought they might be identical because I swear all babies look the same? Was that, I was just looking at and going, are you sure they're not? And then eventually they look different. No, one, one of them is quite a lot chunkier than the other one. Charlie comes out first and he's the big bruiser he was taking up all the space and then and then and then Miles comes out and he's a little bit more petite and small but but you know I mean it's great

and then the doctor goes right let's see what number three is and Jane nearly... Jane practically went over the table and he go just joking I said yeah all right just leave that to me here. That is a great great. And that that that that th. And that that that th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th th th th th th th th th. And th. And th. And th. And thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And thin, thin, thin, the the is a the is a the comes than than than thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks, thanks, right, all right, just leave that to me, but yeah. That is a great, that is a great line though for someone different teams. I know, I know, I know the safe limits of humor in my household. And you've just, have gone way past it. Do they get on well then? They do get on well because, I mean, partly they get on well because they're complete opposites to each other and that's I think is one of the sort of redeeming features if you have twins who decide not to be like each other or just aren't anyway.

And they right from day one would not do the same thing as each other. So if they were doing the same homework, one would do coloring in and the other one decide not to colour in and just, you know, scribble over it or something and it would just be, it was always I will not do what he does and vice versa. So they were never competing, never trod on each other's territory. So in that respect it's quite good and I always think if you put them together you'd have the perfect human but they just a very, very, very opposite view. Have you clashed with them at all since I mean back from uni? Because they're like adults now, just having two blokes in your house, isn't it? It's nice though, it's great. I've really enjoyed having them around actually because, you know, when they come downstairs you've got someone to have a beer with and you know, and Charlie especially

does all his working out in the garden because he's big into rugby and training and stuff like that, so he's pretty serious about that. And Miles is big into his music and so there's loads of conversations going on. I've enjoyed that. You know, they do, they do, once they get to, you know, beyond 19 or something, they're quite nice company. Not long. No. Yeah, you've got that to look forward to. 20 years time I can have a half the one of my daughter. Yeah.

If the world's still going in that way. It'll be 2040 by then. Yeah, how are you? So were you a baby of you? A four year old and a two year old? Yeah, I've got a two and a half year. Yeah, that's a constant you must have had, well, you know, when they were babies, what was it four under the age of six, would you have had? Yeah, we did at one point, and it was,

I mean, as I've sort of highlighted, outline some of it already, it was very, very difficult at times, because you just, there was, there was never a, will there ever come a day when one of the children doesn't ruin everything? No, there is, none of them have got, you've got to have, to have four of them on good form. The chances of that are like guessing someone's combination lock

on their bike or something. It's not going to happen ever. And that doesn't really really out until they got to about, well, at least a secondary school, I think. But yeah, it was... Were you working a lot at the time? Oh, I was, I never stopped working. As soon as the boys were born, I just, I rang Addison, my agent at the time, just said, look me a tour. And he says, what do you mean? I don't care where I go, put me a tour. I want to be away from home for the next eight months at least. And then I had a, literally had tour manager turns up

in a nice comfortable car, just crawled in the backseat and slept. I woke up in the hotel and then made out to my wife that I was working hard. It was, it was, it was the only one I could get through it. Just just run away, basically run away. And who are these comedians who bring their children with them? Oh, Christ. Oh, what's the point being a comedian if you take your children around with you? Why would you do that? You know, Ed and Festival was a month. You've

got a free pass for a month. And then you see these people letting the whole side down by, oh I've got my children with me, they love it here. Yeah, because then other people go all day, they went up with their kids. Yeah, yeah, I know, but their kids are simple. They're just like they're like their kids. They need to be to to to be to be to be more to be more to be more to be more to be more to be more to be more their their their their their their their their their their their their their their kids. Yeah their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids their kids their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids. They're their kids know you paint their face and they're happy all day aren't they and they're not like our kids. They need to be more stimulated yeah yeah exactly yeah. What does possible sound like for your business it's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit redefined possible with business platinum that's the powerful backing of American Express terms and conditions apply visit MX.cnax what are you doing with your days then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then th th th th the days th the days the days th j j j jack th jack the days thek theked theked theked theked their days their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. to they. to they. to they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit MX.c.c.c.c.S.Platten. What are you doing with your days, then, Jack, in lockdown?

We bought the dog. I've doing quite a lot of cooking. I've done all that stuff. I'm a bit of a cliche, really. I've been, you know, we've made banana bread and, you know, I haven't done the saurdoe, I, you haven't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thr-a, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. What, th. What are, thr. What are, thr. What are, what are, what are thr. What are thr. What are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, what are, that, be doing sourdough unless they've actually, because really to be qualified to make sourdough bread, you need to have retired from a lucrative job in the city, having a nervous breakdown and re-train as an artisan baker. And I think us all just showing how easy it really is is just, it's unfair on them. They've gone for all that trouble of having a life crisis. And now we're just all doing it. Do you miss your kids being young then, Jack, or does it feel like you like, I'm glad not to be going back there?

Well I think this is why, you know, people actually love grandchildren is because you get that second go at it and it's, there's no pressure on you to be a great parent or to have them for the full time Because I can now look at kids that age is now. Oh, that's so cute. I know you see and you see a lot of them now out and they're picnicking with their parents and stuff on the common and and you know obviously that kids are adorable like puppies you can't not like them but it's when you got to look after them full them full them full them full them full them full them full them full them full them full. them full. them f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f. the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. ttttttoday. ttoday. tte. today. te. today. today. today. th. their. their. when you got to look after them full time it becomes more of a problem but so I I sometimes look back on it but I will never forget what it was like I will I can't forgive them I can't forgive them that's my problem so you obviously it's what you would have had was it no iPads generation for your kids growing up or were iPads knocking around then? We did, we hardly even had drawing pads and stuff. We're just like, we're just, you know, coloring in.

It was, it was all the old, we were all old school. So yeah, that stuff never, that stuff never came in. And I can remember someone, my, my parents, you know, you know, we're treat the. They don't want an iPad. You know, which just once you start down that road, then you've bought into having to get them updated and get them all the latest stuff. So it's better just to fool them into thinking no one can have any of it. And then, and then they're going to be delighted when they finally get a job and can buy something for them skiing

and buying them new Aronaracks every year and all that stuff. I just, you know, make life simple for yourself. Don't make a rod for your own back like that. Don't find too many things that are enjoyable, or you'll be trying to do it all the time. Yeah, exactly. They'll just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, they'll just, you. they're they'll just, you. they they'll just, they'll th. they'll they'll th. th. th. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. th. th. th. th. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. thi, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll, I they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll thi. thin. thin. they're thin. they're they're they're thin. they're thin. they're thin. thin. the. thin. thi. thi. th. time. Yeah exactly they just want to do it again and again and then and you know and that that's a problem in itself isn't it? Did you watch a lot of TV growing up? You must have been all over like them Jack D's happy hour and like live at the Apollo must have been when they were the kids? Yes. Were they watching that? Were they proud of you? No they weren't they weren't old enough really, that's the truth of it. They weren't really old enough to be aware of it. I do remember on one occasion being on an airplane with the children and Hattie was actually quite supposed, it can't have been all of them, but

but then she was having a bit of a fit about something. And then the screen came on on the back, back of the seat in front of us, you know, the TV screen.. And, and I screen, and I screen, and I screen, and I screen, and I screen, and I screen, and I screen, and the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen, the, the, the, the, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, the, one on the back of the seat in front of us, you know, the TV screen, and I was on it. And I come and looked at that and looked at me and thought, how, that's, that's not right. That's which, you know. And she did behave, because I gave her a look. I said, see, that's what I can do. That's the power I have. And she just shut up after that. She's quite a quiet flight. I thinks, I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the they. they. they. the the they. they. And I's they. And I's they. And I've they. And I've they. And I've. And I've. And I've. And I've. And she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's. they. they. they. they. they. they. And, she's. And, she's. And, she's. And, she's. And, she's. And, she's. th. th. th. And, she's. And, she's. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, she's. And she's. And she's. And she's. And, she's. And, she's shut up after that. She was quite a quiet flight time. I think she's been scared of me ever since. How was Holidaying with that many kids there? Was that, did you enjoy that or would you try and stay in the UK? What would you do for holiday? You know, I never, I just, I could never see the point in, you know, I've just, when the boys were born, and we went that was flying, that was flying, to to flying, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that was, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, they............ that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that that's, that's, that theging and that was when I couldn't get out of bringing the children with us. But with holidays, I, when the boys were born, I just said to Jane, that's it, we're not, we are not going on a foreign holiday at least for another 20 years because I'm not,

I'm not flying with all these people. I can't do it. You can't do it. You have to hire a whole plane to get them around the place. They don't to to to to to to to to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, to, to, to, to to, to, their, their, their, their, their, when, when, when, I, when, when, when, I, I, their, I, their, their, I, I, their, their, I, I, their, I, their, their, their, I, their, I, their, I, I, their, I, I, their, their, I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they... And, they. And, they. And, when, they, they, they, they, they, their, theirto hire a whole plane to get them around the place. They don't care where they are anyway. We used to go to Dorset and they didn't, you can tell them you're in Japan, they'll believe your age. But they'll be happy. We went in a dorset, you go over this little chain ferry. It takes about 12 minutes. And that's about as far as long as long as you, you, long were happy. It was a slide there and there was, you know. Did you ever do Disney?

We did Disney and Paris, you know, Euro Disney was called then, and that was pretty, pretty dreadful. I tell you what, do you know what, I've not? Do you know what I've not ever really got over my annoyance was have you been there have you ever been I've got that Wild West show they got a Wild West show right and they have you know it was a calamity Jane right so she comes out on a horse and starts shooting things the rifle these bottles that go and then they grab people out of the audience okay

and this big audience right and I'm the worst thing that could happen to me is being grabbed onto the stage, right? And it happens to my, I get grabbed on with some eight-year-old kid as well, who I don't know who he is, he comes on. And we both get given guns to shoot at these bottles on the wall, right? And you're, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So. And, so. And you, so. And you, so. And you, so. And you're, so. And you're, so. And you're, so. And you're, so. And you're, so. the the the the the the their, I the the their, I, I, I, I'. their, I'. their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I...... And, I, I.... And, I, I... And, I, I, I. And, I, I, I. And, I, I, I. And, I the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the to. this point as well. Yeah, there were, I think there were English people in there nudging each other going, look, it's him.

Right, so, so I have to shoot the bottle, have a shot at the bottle, and of course, I miss, right? Now, I know I didn't miss. I'm a good shot. I've had an air rifle all my life. I know a shot. I could have done that blindfold. And done that blindfold. And then, so I miss everyone laughs at me, not with me, like when you're a comedian. Everyone laughs at me. And then the eight-year-old, now you ever go, of course, what does he do? He hits the bottle first time. Everyone's cheering him. I'm utterly humiliated. I've never wanted to go back to the place since. I mean, that's a stitch up, is there? You know what, if that had happened in the era of camera phones, it would have haunted you so much more, Jack? Oh, my God, it would have come back to me.

Look at this idiot trying to shoot a bottle, oh, he's an adult. And then the kid can't th kid, and th kid, and th kid, and th kid, and th kid, and th kid, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's. that, that's. that, and that, and that's. that's. that's, and that's. that's, and that's, and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that kid can. It was a fix it was a fix. There's no two ways about it. If there's anyone out there by coincidence he's listening and was there I just wanted to know it was a fix I'm stitched up. Well that's a thing if you're at Disneyland Paris with your kids and you're famous in the UK and on the TV loads of British tourists that is the worst case scenario for you really, isn't it? To be dragged out the audience and done that. Could not be worse and then humiliated, you know, in a way that it really goes right to the heart of what it is to be a man. You know, did your kids, were you a grumpy father? Does that like, would your kids describe you as that, do you think? You know, I suppose, I suppose probably they would. I don't know. What I mean is, when you're with your kids, is there a different sides to Jack D. to the

to the Jack D. that the public knows and loves. Are you actually a big softie with your kids? Of course, you know, of course I'm a nice dad. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm th, I'm not, I'm a tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, th. I, th. I, th. I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th, a th, a th, a th. th. th. th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a tha, I'm a tha, I'm a tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I suppose, probably, I'm thi, probably, probably, I'm thi, probably, I'm a big, I'm a big, you know, of course I'm a nice dad, of course I am, you know, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not wanting to actually show, but you're a good man. Let it go, Rob, let it go. You just, you know, I think with this, this is a case with most comedians is that what you do on stage is an exaggeration of that element of you that is, will make people laugh anyway at home. But of course, you enlarge on that. And I mean, there are times when I'm just a,

I am just a grumpy side, I mean, that's it, I can't help it. And I don't even know I'm doing it. I really genuinely don't know I'm doing it. That's why I was terrified when it came to to to Thursday nights because you know I with my face and my voice when I'm being sincere people think I'm being sarcastic right? If I'm just standing in my front door clapping and going yeah you're the best you're the best I used to like yeah come on Jack it's the NHS I know what I'm doing my big yeah yeah like don't do like that though like you mean it and I say I am meaning it I do mean it I I get that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th is th is th is th is th is the I the I the I th is the I th is the I the I the I th is the I th is th is th is the the though. Do it, do it like you mean it and I say I'm meaning it, I do mean it.

I get that the opposite because I've got a bit more of like a happier outward demeanor. If I was just sat on a train just like with no expression of my face, I go, are you okay? Yeah, fine. They expect me so I'm on a bloody train. Yeah, woo choo, choo, choo, c co coming. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, know, what do they want on the carry? That must make it easier for people coming up to you, Jack, because you can just be Jack D and tell them to piss off, right? That is one advantage, you're right, because I've always thought it would be, it would be very trying to if you were like Joe Pasquale or something. And that's just a general point though, isn't it? And, and, and, and that's that's that's that's just that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. that's just that's just, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and, and, they? they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the, they. they. the, the, they. the, the, the, they. they, the, they, th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th oh, it's Joe Pasqualee and he'd have to, he'd have to start squeaking for them to feel that they'd got their money's worth out of him. Whereas with me, they'll go, oh, is he chacked in and I go, yeah, and I just shrug, and they

go, oh, it is so funny as you laugh. You know you don't know what mood anyone's going to be in when you approach from the street so yeah it's difficult but both of you are quite cheerful disposition really aren't you so yeah yeah that's the problem so people would expect that all the time wouldn't I know I'm losing one fan with everyone I meet I can tell you tell you that I can't lose one fan with everyone I that I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I you th I you the to you to the to to to the to to the to the th th to to to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the covered the right time for you. I've gone wonders for my career. Yeah, at least you got that to blame. Looking back though, when you had your kids younger, Jack,

was there any moments where you thought of messed up here, not in like a really bad way, but just little moments where you've had fails with them. I feel I've let myself down a couple of times in the past where I haven't sort of lived up to being the image of a dad that I had in my mind you know what I mean it was I remember taking to the dentist and they were all nervous of the dentist and we're all we had this sort of family booking at the dentist it's sort of fun day out and and because they're all nervous of it I said they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the they the they they they the the they th to to th the th th th th to to th th to th. to to to to to to to to to th thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to thi to to thi thi thi thi thi fun day out. And because they're all nervous of it, I said, look, it's nothing to be worried about. It's just something you've got to do, isn't it?

Go to the dentist, get your teeth checked out, and then you know, you can sort things out before they go wrong. I show you how easy is. I'll go first. So I go, I go first, I go, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, I, and, I, I, and, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, tto, tto, tto, tto, tto, tto, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, filling here, I'll just do that quickly for you. And he, I don't know what he did, but he drilled straight into a root canal. And I, it was like I was in the electric chair. My legs and arms flying around the place. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, Jane, had to get them all out of the car, out into the car.

He'd be all right in a minute. The whole dental appointment was cancelled. It was like, oh, and now they'd never been a dentist since. So I've failed them. I failed them in that respect. Yeah. You can't, you can't get it all right, can you? No, you can't. But also, when you got four kids, you've got so many different types of personality there. You've probably got one everything to everyone so there's probably at least two of them hate me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go with that.

Jack, we normally ask our guests who have got younger kids what they do if they had the house to themselves for the whole day whereas it seems like you've semi got that already with your older kids. So what would you do if you had all four of them back, you know, the ages of like two, four, and like an eight, that age group of them? What would you be doing with them? And I have to stay in? Yes, we've been.

Oh, I, I, well, I mean, we had a lot of days like that where't you? You know, you're bloody paddling pool and that's you know that's your lawn wrecked and then... That's ruined it, didn't you just you know you're trying to involve them and everything but it's it's a chore isn't it until it's until you can get away from them. Again, you know I've always I've tried to be a good dad but I'm always think when is this going I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be a to to be a to to to to to to to to to to to be a to to to to to to to to to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a toldlde. to be a tolde. tolde. told to be a told to be a told to be a to be a to be a to be a tried to be a good dad, but I'm always thinking, when is this going to end? When can I, when can I get away from them? Rob, do you always have the same final question? Yeah, the final question, Jack, have you had a highlight and a low light of lockdown, a point where you thought, actually this is amazing and a bit where you thought this has got our end, I'm going mad. Oh, God, there have been so many.

I think the highlights have been where we've just thought, you know what, let's do cocktail hour, let's cook something nice for dinner, let's have a bottle of wine and forget about everything, and it's nice and quiet because there's no aircraft going over, there's no traffic outside. That, I suppose, is what you would consider the high, the high the high the high the high the high the high the high the high the high the high the highlight the high the high the high the highlight the high the high the highlight the highlight the highlight the highlight the highlight the highlight the highlight, the highlight, the highlight, the highlight, the highlight, the highlight, the highlight, the high the highlight, the highlight, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high..... the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, the high, going over, there's no traffic outside. That, I suppose, is what you would consider the highlight of it. The low points have been more to do with everything being canceled that we'd planned.

You know, we were going to go on holiday, we were going to do this, we're going to do that. But you know what? Again, I don't want to sound sincere about it, you know, to earnest, but, you know, I've known someone who succumbed to the illness and it's a horrible, horrible business. So that was, you know, that's, I don't want to end on the bummer, you asked though, didn't you? Yeah, I admit. Yeah, what are you taking the low point? The low point is the low point is when people you love die all right yeah I feel like I'm getting thanks for having me on your podcast but the dentist truth you wanted it

this is the truth of it Rob we've all her laugh we've all to laugh but that is really where it's not also I was gonna ask this so as well your kids are your kids on Tick Tock and are they trying to make you be on Tick Tock and annoy you yeah yeah that's a perfect that the the th I I I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a th that's a th that's a th th that's a th at th at that's a thi that's a that's a thi thi the their thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy th is trying to make you be on Tick Tock and annoy you? Because that's the perfect age of TikTok. I don't, I don't, honestly, I don't even know what Tick Tock is, even with all the kids of my age. I literally don't know what it is. They might well be and I, but I'm not aware of it. They show me stuff that, you know, funny videos and that's all funny videos and because it's all of that age group sort of teenagers through to uni students. They're all at home annoying their parents. So I was wondering if we could look forward to seeing you being wound up by your kids, which I think would, I wouldn't want to be filmed doing anything, let alone, you know, being an idiot around the house. Do you try and, are you, one of those parents that tries to be into the kind of new things that your kids are into or are you quite happy to go not for me?

Oh absolutely I think you have to stay you have to you have to set your boundaries at that very early on in this and just say look you do your thing all right I don't expect you to get interested in what I'm you do your thing and I'll do mine and that that that that that that th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin and I'll do mine thin and I'll do mine that that thin and I'll do mine to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th thi the the the the the. the. the. that that the. that that that that that I I I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll to along fine. So it's like prison cellmates. Yeah. It is, you know, and I, but, you know, I don't like, I don't like adults who ingratiate themselves on kids, especially once the kids get to like secondary school age or something, that is pathetic, you know, just, just at your age to let your kids do what they do and you do your thing.

Don't hang around hoping you're going to be involved in some way because it's embarrassing for them. Half-move. You know, that is the aim in life. Once you're an adult and you've got kids, your main aim is just not to become an embarrassment. It's not even about being a cool person or a cool dad or it's just don't be an embarrassment. If you can avoid that, you've won.

You've won. Which takes us back to shooting that count at Euro Disney. Oh, don't. Oh. It's shocking. And I won't ever go back. It's there lost. It's their loss.

Thank you so much for doing it. Cheers, mate. Thank you so much for doing it. Cheers mate. Oh Jack Dee there. Do you know what he wouldn't want me to say it but such a nice man. He's honestly absolutely lovely because I was I've always I'm still in awe of him because he was a hero of mine growing up with the Alan Davis episode and the Jonathan Ross one but like he was when I first did, you know that O2 the Gala gig we did the charity gig of the O2 I was so nervous and so worried and he I did a warm-up gig with him and I just like staring at him like oh my god it's Jack Dee and he was just

so nice and kind of you I think you're a bit worried he might be a bit mean because he's yeah yeah but he's a lovely bloc but even before we start recording, we sort of could hear him getting his delivery and he just sounds like he's got the ump when he hasn't. And he's like, oh, lads, yeah. He's not like he's, he's like, no, it's not like he puts it on. He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm all right, yeah. Yeah, what's what we're doing here? Okay. He just think, yeah. that we semi-started in order for us to vent and make self feel better about like the non-stop child care is actually

gone the other one it's maybe realized how much people miss their kids being little yeah and after these records especially with people like Jackie who've got older kids I sort of go back to them and give them a big cuddle and go I'm so lucky though to have them this much even though I'm knack and going a bit a little. to be lo. th. th. I'm a th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Yeah. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. I'm t t t tote. the the the the the the the the thi. th I do feel like I've got into the groove of it a bit more since it's been going on for ages. Totally, go back, hug him, pick up a piece of shit and carry on with your day. I mean, I've said she shits her nickers again, I'll be fuming, but yeah, that's great.

The cuddle before she's lovely. Just squeeze theook the rest. It's interesting, isn't it, like, what would it be like to relate to like a grown-up child? If in 20 years, when I'm 50, whatever I am, I'd be, well I'd be 57? Jesus, what? Oh my god. Imagine your little gray curly air? What's going on? I just had a real moment that. 57, imagine your little grey curly air. What's going to actually do? I know that just had a real moment there.

Oh no. When you go grey instead of blonde, you're going to look like a right little weird fella. You're going to look like a little feminist activist with curly grey hair. I think I'm going to be one of those people that have met, that finally grows into their looks with age. But anyway. I that one they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I thi thi. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I thi thi thi thi thi thin. I thin. I the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee an that that that the. I those people that finally grows into their looks with age. But anyway. I don't know what the fucking else happened to him? He used to look like a boy for 40 years. He's turned into a nan. Do you reckon one day or just wake up and all I've just sagged. I don't think there's going to be any like there's going to be no joining photos. A pair overnight. Boom. Yeah I remember when I used to work at a supermarket and I was like 1718 and my mate went, oh yeah, we're going for a drink, come along and he was mate from school and

all that and everyone turned up and then he went young bringing me mate from work and he started being a plumber and he turned out of a 55 year old that he's in the van with and I was like what's this what's this?? what's going, what's going, what's going, what's going, what's going, what's going, what's going, what's going, what's this? What's going on? And then, at that age, when you're 22, you can't hang around for a 50 year old. I'm like, you need to give me a heads up, you can't just turn up with a 50 year old float and just eat around him. It's madness. Like, it's a weird age where you have to just stay with someone olders coming. Yeah, Definitely. Oh, I can't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You th. You th. You need, you. You need, you th. You need, you need thin. You need thin. You need thin, you th. th. thin, you to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me When they listen back to this? I was wondering that. I was wondering that the other day whether this is going to cause problems in my relationship with my daughter in the future. But we'll cross that bridge when this becomes unprofitable.

Well, I tell them if they still want to live in our house and have to fucking people like I can get in contact? Yes, rate us on iTunes. We are we're closing in on 3,000 ratings. Oh, oh. And if they can get in contact with email, hello at lockdown parenting.coad at UK. Thank you very much for listening. We will see you in a few days. And next time we've got Allison Hammond chatting on the show. Absolutely amazing. She's absolutely brilliant. Look forward to it. Terrible mic technique. Awful. What a woman. Terrible internet, great woman.

Thank you much. Bye. Bye.