Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP15: Alex Brooker

Episode Date: June 16, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP15: Alex BrookerJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is presenter and comedian, Alex Brooker. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parents in hell with George Debiton.

Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdickham. Josh Widdickham. George. George. George. George. It was a good attempt on. George. It was a good attempt. George. George. George. Josh Whittakam. George. You know the first one,

it was a good attempt. George. George. George. Gett more aggressive. You know the first one where I thought it was going badly. I actually turned out that that was the best one. Yeah, you should have tapped out then, just carrying on. What's the name of the kid, Josh who introduced us? We'll try to. The name of the kid is Bamba Martinue. George? It's cute though when kids say things wrong, like my daughter says ju-joo for orange for some reason.

Ju-joo so it's always like, oh that and even not even just like the fruit is like if something is orange, oh that's the color juzu and it's sort of like quite funny quite cute but then she started saying orange and I hate it but she can't say juzzoo forever but I might start correcting her and go no it's not orange it's juzuzuzh well do you start using their term because my daughter she'll say whenever she said we've got this book where is the green Parrot and she'll call it where is the green carrot and now she's got a parrot dress and she calls it a carrot dress so she sees she says carrot instead of parrot at every opportunity which isn't many to be fair no I mean it depends what kind of career she goes in

it does you know she's a pirate she's ridiculous of a carrot on a shoulder she does that would be a worry. That would be my main worry. It could be worse, a farmer planting loads of parrots upside down in the field. Make sure you don't write the new Peter Rabbit book. Just rabbits ron around eating parrots. Yeah, I've never, I've never known someone to have such an extensive knowledge of the situations where you need parrots. Oh, mate, I could go all day, sure I mean? Do you correct them on the word?

Or I consistently say parrot as if I'm like I'm a kind of awful pedant to kind of correct her, but is that a mistake? I don't know what the answer is on that. I don't know really. I mean, I'm not, I find it quite cute and quite funny and no one's going to get to 47 and still get carrots and parrots confused. Oh no no I'm not going like it's carrot actually. Actually you little moron yeah I know you've just woken up from your nap but that is not a parrot. Are you thick or something what's wrong with you? Some kind of thick oh you little dumb idiot. Oh you see what it is? parrot, look a parrot, look at the ground, carrots flying. You can never talk to kids like that, but you do want to, don't you, don't you, at some time?

You know, do you ever have that thing where you think, I'd love to see how the world would play out if I could then just go back to the point and it would never happen. Rok Rosh Rovash, he's got, th.S, th.S, th.S, thage, thage, thraveh!! Rhovash, th. Rho-i, th. Rho-i, th. Rho-i, th. Rho-i, th. Rho-i, th. Rho-i, tho, tho, tho, thrush, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, to, tho. to-a. to-a. to-a. to butchering the routine but his kid said I'm gonna go strawberry and he goes well it doesn't say that does it quite obviously can you you can't even go strawberry now go strawberry now do it now you can go straw and just it's so funny on that topic of saying the wrong thing my eldest always says for some reason for McDonald's she calls it chip and burger. Chip and burger. Yeah, so not even burger and chips or burger chip. Chip and burger. Okay, which sounds like some sort of cartoon double act, chip. It sounds like a trendy

trinum. It does, doesn't it? And you get one massive chip with so on. But a big, like long 15 centimeter chip. You get a huge chip and then you get 30 tiny little burgers. I'd be up for that. I'd love loads of little burgers. How has your week been, Rob? It's actually very good idea. I think we should open a burger, Josh. I'd be up for that. I love loads of little burgers. How, how has your week been, Rob? Yeah, it's been good actually that they went back, I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. it's been good actually that they went back to preschool, actually this I didn't think much happened

but they went back to preschool. They used to do Monday, Wednesday, Friday 9 a.m. till 3.20 okay like a normal school day and I have lunch share and all that. Anyway now it's 10 till 2 because they're in a school site so they have to come in separately and there's all rules in one out one out you know one way systems which a lot of people aren't adhering to and it drives me insane and I would say something but I don't think I can't some off the telly people people that thi that the. Oh you've changed like when you've done tele I've changed now than I did before I was famous because I said, look the fuck you think you are, turn around, it's a one-way system, if you keep doing this you're gonna fuck it up for everyone and the kids won't be able to go to this preschool yeah? But I can't do that now. It's a bit aggressive.

No. Especially if you're off the tea tel two-o'-than't. But than't, but, but, but, but, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, the-a, the-a, the-a, it's their, it's their, it's good in it. And then what we managed to do is we emailed the preschool and said any chance they could go Tuesday and Thursday and Thursday because we've worked out, it's the same amount of hours spread over five days. But they couldn't do Tuesday it was full but they're now going Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm going to be killing. But it's the same amount of hours. It's the same amount of hours. It's fine. The only difficulty is there at preschool now, and it's Lou's birthday this week, and normally with a present and cards, I normally do get a stuff, but I normally say, when you go,

when you go to preschool, tell them it's mommy's birthday, and make something. And then I don't havetell my it's a little secret. This is a little tip. Never ever let your children see the present you've got for them because they will tell them immediately. So I've got this little ring. So I thought, oh, yeah. It's like, a little ring. And they went, it's not expensive ring. I went, I went, I went, I went, I've th. I've to went, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. their. their, this. their, this. their, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, this. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, th. th. th. th. t. tell, tode. tell. today. tell. today. today, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, th. the shops they'd run straight up to it, Mommy, Dad's got you a ring. I was like, brilliant, okay. Well, we had work, so it was my, it was my wife's mother, what was that mother-in-law? It was her birthday.

It's about the untiring weekend. You would have made it as a comic in the 70s, don't even know what they are. Take my wife's mother, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, But anyway, so it was her birthday and we couldn't get her a cake, but we've gone to get her a cake, but they only had like little cakes. Oh yeah.

So we met her in a socially distanced garden. And then, and the first thing my daughter says is, we've got your birthday cake, which wasn't true. So she's heard that we've tried to get the birthday cake, not really clock really failed. And then she's, so you think it's bad her announcing your present that you've got. Imagine them going in and delivering the news that you've got something that you failed to get.

I know, it's so, it's so, last week I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't get anything. I'm like, I'm going to get a to get a Tony to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a Tony. to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get to get to get to get. to get. to get. to get to get th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. to. I'm going. I'm going. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the th. I've got a toy shop which has obviously reopened now but it does appointments now you have to book an appointment with the toy shop. Imagine having to cancel it if your kid's been naughty. No we're gonna have to say I'm fucking the toy shop the toy shop is off. Hi there I've got a 320 but she's just made shit on the windows. So we'll move it to next week if that's okay. Right, is that chippenburger? We won't be in today. So I will tell you about my week on Friday because as restrictions are easing in England, if not in the rest of the country, or I suppose we've got listeners abroad as well. We are making some changes now. We've had a lot of emails saying, uh, please don't, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi' tho' tho' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, I I I I I I I thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I' thi, thi, thi's tho' tho'''''''''''''''''''i's thri's thri's thr-I's tho' tho' tho' tho' tho of the country or I suppose we've got listeners abroad as well. We are making some changes now we've had a lot of emails saying please don't stop the podcast. Yes because it's a lockdown podcast but lockdown sort of easing off in it. It's easing off

but this has been more of a success than we thought so we thought we'd capitalize on the problems of the nation and carry on with our podcast. Yes, we are carrying on into the uncertain new normal. Exactly, this is the new normal. Are we going to change a name? We should think about that. We should think about that. But this isn't the time. No. Okay. Send your suggestions in. What about Rob Beckett's parent in show? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure about show. It's a bit much. It's a bit need, isn't it? So we're going to carry on on Tuesday and Friday, but we've got so much good correspondence and we're not getting through it that what we're going to do is Tuesday is going to be the normal episode like it was and then on Fridays we're going to do a shorter episode where we're going to go through your correspondence. I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's their. It's their. their. their. their. their their. their their their their their th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theee. the. thee. their. their. their. their. their. their their., we're going to do a shorter episode where we're going to go through your correspondence.

I'm going to tell you all about my week. We're also going to, Rob is very excited about his new feature. Would you like to explain your new feature, Rob? Oh yes! So, my new feature, because we was informed that Josh Widdickham was very salty towards some of the podcast industry. We have now opened this up and we want to hear your salty or unsalty stories of Josh Widdickham. You can email them into Hello at lockdown parenting. Code at UK. Are we going to do them now or later?

We'll do them on Friday. So tune in on Friday. On Friday for some salty info from Josh Widdock. Yeah let's know if you've encountered Josh Whitakam out and about and if there's any insults. Also as well on Friday, I'll tell what we should put on Friday, we can play out my mishap with the age rating of a film for my kid. Oh, I look forward to that. So we've got that, we've got my week and we've got your correspondence. We've got some more disastrous bed times. their th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. We've got the th. the th. the their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I th. I I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to to tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll to say to tell. I'll to to the. I'll th. I'll th. I'll times. We've got also what we call a new feature, milk tray moments. Milk tray moments which is based on Chappie Corsandies terrible when she flipped out over a box of milk tray we've received someone who thinks they've had a worse milkshake,

a milkshake, was milk tray moment than Shepleys. It was Tommy Robinson. Should we have one bit of correspondence before we talk to Alex Brooker? Yes, please. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Would you like an email that's titled Clever Little Shit? Yes, please. This is from Elise Williams.

Hello, Rob and Josh. This is about my youngest son, Tom. When he was about six years old, he's now 16, which has a whole new host of parenting challenges. I went to a school to pick him up and was called aside by Tom's teacher who had a little tooth fairy bag in a hand. She informed me that Tom had lost a tooth need to think any differently. Tom was very excited that the tooth fairy will be visiting and I planned what he would be doing with the one pound. So he put the tooth in the tooth fairy bag under his pillow at bedtime. Being the incredible mother that I am,

I completely forgot about the tooth, and was awoken to the sound of my six-year-old crying. Oh no. the-fee. the-fee. the-fee. the-fee. the-oom. the-oom. the-oom. the-oom. the-oom. thoom. the thoom. the th-oom. the the the the thoom. the the the thoom. thoom. thoom. So-soothed-soothed-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-in. So-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n, so-n. So-noyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyan, I tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttsooth-s. ttsoothed-s. tsoothed-s. swap out the tooth for a quid in the little envelope. Whilst his dad comforted him with but you are a good boy and maybe the tooth fairy was having a night off I went to make the switch. As I opened the envelope it became apparent the tooth in the envelope was not Tom's but a large plastic molar from the classroom's educational skeleton. Hang on. Hold on. Did no one look in his mouth to see where it came from? You've got to ask questions about the teacher at this point.

Also, I've got, my kid, they don't just fall out. It's a big event. They're wobbly for so long teeth. You think they're going to fall out? It's another four days, minimum. The kids go on to the teacher with a large molar from the plastic skeleton and talked them into this being the tooth that's just fallen out. And they bagged it up. I harried downstairs with the evidence clutched in my hand and asked Tom why he thought the tooth fairy. He did not relent. He did not back down. But looked at me with enormous baby blue eyes and said, because I have plastic teeth.

He didn't get the money, he put the tooth back in the skull at school and remains a sneaky little shit to this day. That's very clever, isn't it? That is an astonishing trick. I think he deserves a quid. Yeah, I do. He deserves a quid. I totally agree. I totally agree. Credit to Tommy, 16 now. I can only imagine what kind of hell he is causing. I bet he did some sort of white collar fraud, do they? He's doing that pyramid scheme stuff

you get off Instagram, selling diamonds to old people on the phone. If you have any more correspondence, anything you want to tell us about how you've been treated by children or anything, this is how you get in toucest. Email us Hello at lockdown parenting.co.Uk. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Great guess this week. We've got the one and only Alex Brooker. Don't know I managed to book him, Josh. No, it was it was it was difficult but I know his agent so we went through the agent obviously and made things happen, grease the palm. That's not a joke that's not a joke about his how no, no I didn't mean that. That seemed I had to open loads of prongs for him in Australia once. Did you? Did you? I went, do what he's do them? He went, yep, it's very awkward. You don't know whether to ask, yeah. Yeah. Why were you in a struttee? Oh, doing, I'm a celebrity

with him. Yeah, he came out and did that. He ordered loads of prawns, he's having an absolute night with him. And he went, why have you? I'm all right. Basically, I've just been parent shamed I think for the first time. Yeah. Still coming to terms of it. We've just been on a little trip, me, my wife and my two kids, we've just been to a little trip to some little like Moors in Yorkshire. Yeah. Not the famous ones. Like a nice one with a little stream. But like we were like walking for it. It's only like, you know, kind of ankle height, the water.

And it was all of good fun. The youngest George is she's holding my hands. And she was told specifically, keep holding daddy's hands. And then she just says, like, she just decided decided, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.e, th.e. Wea, true, we went, we went, we went, we went, we went, to, we went, tooomk, we went, theymea, wea, they just says like she just decided against it she just went no and then she stepped back and like slipped and right went in the water bit she went on like her hands and the their parents have looked over and they've definitely thought I've dropped her and they've seen me in my shorts obviously they've seen me with the leg and the arms and I'm sure they've seen me walking along thinking this is gonna th th th th th th gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the their to the the the the their to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeee' theeee' theeeeee' theeeeee' thee the the their the they've seen me with the leg and the arms and I'm sure they've seen me walking along thinking this is going to end badly. And I'm sure enough it has and it was like I was going to see like deliberately loudly

so people could hear just going like see told you to keep hold of Daddy's hand didn't I? This is why I don't like the youngest and I keep saying it. If what lockdown has taught me one thing is that the oldest is definitely the better one. So that, the good one, who's absolutely mint, she's three and a half and Georgia is two in a couple of days. So, um, that is tough ages though. Yeah she's let me she's one who's let me down. Do they get on Brooks? Yeah do you know what they actually do? They're not too bad with each other. It's just with me. They just they've turned on me for me for it's been coming for a while but I think lockdown has kind of shone a bit of a spotlight on some of the problems they've they've got no

respect for me you know Josh I told you a little while ago Georgia started calling me Alex yeah like I've lost the dressing room straight away before we didn't you know my wife was working upstairs and she so that was that was how it was going to be in lockdown, that she was going to be working working upstairs and that lasted a day because I just needed the kids to know that she was around. So she ended up starting to work downstairs in the dining room and she was kind of like, you know when Sam Allardice used to go up in the stands and kind of overseeing things. He's kind of in the stands overlooking things and I I I I I I I I I I the the the the th, I I I was, I was, I was like, I was like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi was kind thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's that that that that thi's thia' thia' thia' tha' thia' that that that's that's that, that, kind of oversee things. He's kind of in the stands, overlooking things and I'm like, what's his face? Sammy Lee? Sammy Lee?

Get his instructions from a farm and your little headstead. So she's doing the main management and you're just the kind of person down there having to enact her plans. I'm trying to point and get him going and it's not really work. Is she working full-time then Alex? No, do you know what? I can't believe I'm actually saying this but we had a result because she got her hours reduced. And I mean, for her obviously it's not a result but for me, I was like, as soon as she went down to like 15 hours a week I was like, fucking get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. is th. Is th. is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is to like 15 hours a week, I was like, fucking get up there. But yeah, I was quite happy when I knew she was going to be around more because the first couple of days it was just, I don't, I can't describe what it was like just having both them on my own. I was clock watching.

You know like you used to doing some jobs when you'd like look up at the clock and, oh, it must be nearly lunchtime and it's like half nine. That was it only half nine. I've already had these sandwiches. So, the time was moving so slowly. And I realized it's like, I kind of ran out of things to kind of amuse them with very quickly. The end of like the third day, they were just drawing on my face and I was like, yeah. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for.

Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. What time do they get up, Alex? Do you what what what this this is th is thaghine thage thage thage thage thage thage thage thage thage thage thus is thus thus they they thus thus thus thus thus thus thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too, Alex? Do you know what? This is one thing, mate, where I think a lot of people will be like, how can you moan about this? My kids get up every day, solidly about half eight? What? What? Both of them?

They get up. Both of them. They get up. They get up. Both of them. They're like, literally, it's like clockwork every single day. they're like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, it's like, it, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. My, th. My, th. My, to. My, to. My, to. My, to. My, to. My, to. My, to. My, th both woke up you on their monitors. And the monitor is always a good indication of what sort of day you're going to have. If you wake up and like, you can hear a little bit of singing, a little bit of winder, you think, shit, that, like, especially the youngest, she's in a good mood here, this is going to be a good one. If you wake up and it's she's only going to have mommy for a little bit and then it's daddy and that she's not going to like that news at all. This was a big no, I go in there, I'm sure you two must have had this before but you go I go in there like get her up in the morning like full of beans thinking you know we'll

make the most of this situation me and you and she just turns around the first thing she says is like not you. There's a couple of times I've gone alright and then just walked out again but you can't leave them on their own can you so. So not you so what that yeah but I have that so you'll wake up and she'll be calling for her mom and then you go in and your first job is really the convincing job that it's you that's going to do the first hour and a half. It's almost more galling as well when you're the one that's got up and you're the one getting the blame for getting up. Yeah, not you. I've had it, I've had not, not you, um, no, mummy. Also because the vocabulary is getting better, go away is one that I came down to the other thing, which I quite respect really,

it's very on the nose. Go away. Yeah, go away. The eldest, as I said, is just, she's a joy. She'll get up and she's just like, just dead happy to see me all the time. So do you think, has that always been the case the case with the eldest? No, she's like, in the last year or so I think she started to like find me a little bit entertaining. Also just another thing that's come out of today and it's been a big parent in day for me this morning. She's no it's my hand for the first time. It's the first ever time my eldest is over today. And she was kind of like, she was going going, Daddy, you've only got two fingers. And I really want, like, technically it's three, but two stuck together, but it's fine

if you want to call it two. But it's the first time and like, like, it's one of those things where, you know, like, obviously for me, when I first went to like, like, I was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th........... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. a really big thing. It was like, I wonder how they're going to find it. She didn't give a shit. It was like, yeah. Obviously the youngest was the one that weren't having it because she let go and meander and then ended up Facebook. It was true. And I feel like the oldest has seen that and thought yeah, it's not an ideal hand to hold but it's better than nothing. I remember we first, when Mir was like a day old, I kind of went and met one of my mates at the pub quickly at lunchtime and I was like, mate, I just keep thinking I'm going to drop her, and he was like, well everyone thinks that, didn't they? What's the worst that can happen as

as soon as you have a new kid is you drop it? And that's like, literally, everyone kind of worries about it whether you've got big, like, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I, the, the, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I, I th, I, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi it. And that's like literally, everyone kind of worries about it whether you've got big, like, I'm sure David Seaman worried about it. Do you know what I mean? He was worried about being lobbed. He was worried about the baby going over his head. I used to have like really weird nightmares. I was holding the baby and then rolled over while I was asleep and slept on top of it and then I'd wake up in the night and the baby was in the cot and I was nowhere near it but these mad dreams everyone feels the same. They do and like I was do you know what it was as I said the oldest I feel like we're really

making progress at the moment she's got over like the hand thing very quickly I was surprised that was absolute you know 20 years in my life worrying about nothing. But then, do you know what, it was, as I said, it's like quite a big thing for me today that. It's one of those things that, well, I'll probably think about it a bit more like later on. But yeah, it was like, I was genuinely up until today, like really properly worried. And also, I have thought to myself more recently it's like you're nearly three and a half you should have noticed you can count now we've done a lot of that you know how many times have I sat you in front of the iPad and just put like the count in YouTube video on does she notice the leg oh mate they love the legs three different ones have I so to say I had my blue waterproof on and like so it's like a say that in a stream there must there there there there there there there there there there there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I theeeee. I theeeeeeeeeee. I tho. I the. I'm the. I th it's okay. I was going to say that in a stream There must be a rust risk, but if you've got a waterproof one

Do you know what when I did that um that swim last year they gave me one for getting in and out the water So it's basically wood which is isn't the most flexible thing I but it is literally for the first time I've got like a wooden leg So it's not like a pirate it does not like a pirate th. They got you a parrot as well, which is a bit intense to, but you were on the feet. But I, yeah, you know, she's obsessed because it's like really colourful and blue and that, and she just like calls it daddy's blue leg. I've taught them out to put my leg on sometimes when I'm like slobbed out on the couch and I've got like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the took me me took the took took took to took took to took to took to to took to took to took took to to to to to their their to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to toe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. I toe. I toe. toe. When I'm like slopped out on the couch and I've got my leg off, I've like started to teach them. It took me a little while with my eldest, but I've taught her to like what like different bits go together. To her, I think it's like a big bit of duplow.

Yeah. duplow. That's how I view you. Yeah, best for under fours. Alex, as your disability stopped you doing anything as a parent like that you would have wanted to do? The one thing which I'm still always like in the grand scheme of things this isn't like a big thing but the one thing I'm always slightly wary of is, you know when you have like parents and they have like their kids on their shoulders or something like that, I mean, we're not delving into that. We've given it a little go on the sofa. And you just go, this is, the juice isn't worth the squeeze for I was.

I'll be honest, Alex. I've got all the necessary limbs to do that and it's still an absolute nightmare and they launch themselves off and I've been lost for all both my kids to terrible shoulder accidents in the bars so it's probably best left. We gave it a little going. I just said to just make sure like you hold onto daddy's neck and I don't think she quite really olden. Because I'm not really old and on the floor so that she's carrying everything for us and throw away we did it on the sofa he just fell backwards on the sofa I was like you know what we'll why don't we just let's give it let's give something else but you know what that's pretty much if I'm being honest the only thing that I'd pretty like I've not really th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you that th that that's to to to that's to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the the the the the I the that's the that's that's thi that's that's the only thing that I've not really done.

Also, on the flip side, Alex, has your disability enabled you to get out doing other things, but it's a bit of a relief? Do you ever play it up so you go, actually, I don't think I can do this because the old hand and leg situation is probably best you do it. Have you ever got out of anything with that? Honestly, if you ask my wife, it is literally every single week, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I, th. I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I'm, to, th. I'm, thi, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi,, if you ask my wife, it is literally every single week I'll use it like my leg takes I reckon about three seconds to put on and the amount of times when like something will be happening I'll be like, yeah but I ain't got my leg on have I? As if it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, that's not the ultimate excuse and she'll be like, well yeah, but you can go and put it on, can't you?

And it's like, well yeah, but you're up, yeah? So you've got both your legs on. So, you've got both of the legs on. It's quite hard to argue if your legs one is when they moved out of the bedroom and it was like both of them when they've been in their own rooms and like the baby monitor would go off and it would just be like, well I've got to put my leg on though I've been I say, maybe if you do go and then I'll just, I'll join in a bit. There must be stages of how long it takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to the their. their. to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. thi. the. the. thea. toea' toea' toeananananan't thean't thooooooooomorrow, the. And, thoooomorrow, thi. There must be stages of how long it takes for you to get your leg on. Like, if you're like just waking up, it must add a couple of seconds,

or drunk must add a couple of seconds. Or is it always three seconds, whatever state you're in? I'll be honest with you, drunk, I just tend to like, slide like a slug. Like a slug. When I've the the th, I've th, I've, I've, I've been like getting on it on my own recently because there's like a little, I leave like a little trail in the kitchen like a snail. She knows at the moment, there's no hiding it. How are you dealing with lockdown?

Do you know what? It has been good being around it, but it has been with two. It's always quite hard if they both want your attention at the same time. It's always hard, there's always one that slightly doesn't get it. And I'm not going to lie, like I've lost the youngest a couple of times this lockdown. And I'm going to admit it right now. She's, I just didn't know where she was twice and I don't live in a massive house. Like I live in a bun, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. th th th thi, I'm th th th th thi, thirty, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiii. thiiiiiiiiii. thiiii. thi's thi times when I've gone Georgia. Where's Georgia? One of the time she was hindered underneath their little mini trampoline, which afterwards, after about an hour of my heart rate, like going back down, I respected, but at the time I genuinely thought like she'd gone out the house. But as I said, you know, I've had that game with Plumov going on Football Manager and it does distract you and I've been really well on it.

I mean, I won the Champions League with him, like, what, six seasons? Which is like, I think you do that's an astonishing achievement. I managed to substitute quality parenting for quality football manager. I do find when you can't socialise a lot of people you do something that's very impressive. Like I've been playing war zone and call or duty and I got down to like seventh place on my own and I went and told Lou and she doesn't give a shit. She's got no, don't understand if that's impressive or not. And even if she did she wouldn't care so you missed being out to tell your mates or your work mates up you've done and they because what you've they're they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've their their their their. their. their to to to to to to to to to to their. their. I've their. I their. I their. I their. I I their. I I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I've their. I've their. I've their their to to to to to to toed. I've toed. I'm toed. I'm toed. I'm toed. I'm toed. I've. I've. I've their. I've your work mates up you've done. And then they, because what you've done there on a thought manager is incredible. And you're not getting respected reserves at home. Also, the other thing I did to try and help it along when Georgia was having a nap

and I still wanted to play, I started getting Mia involved and she, her role in her management team is she just like the continue button on the iPad and I keep getting it but she's just like as soon as like Lindsay's finished work she's like just been playing the football with daddy what do you mean she's like on iPad been playing football with daddy it's like yeah no it was only for a little bit and it was literally about two hours we sat there does she enjoy it do you know you know what she loves it? She absolutely loves it. She's very easily pleased like her dad and she's just really, you know, she understands the game going on. I don't think she quite understood the difficulty it was for me to get some of the loan deals over the line.

Alex, your kids in preschool, nursery or anything? Is that started back up for you? Yeah. So they've they've started back. It's started back I think it's this week. They've not gone back at the moment. We basically were kind of like holding off because they were only doing, they were doing two half mornings. But we've held off a little bit just to see basically, from my point of you, I don't want to like put them in, get used to having that time back and then all of a sudden they all shut again. So when I want them back in, I want them back in for good so I can really enjoy it. Like Rick, I don't want to go that Tuesday morning was mint and then all of a sudden it's like oh I've got them again.

So I hold my new hobby so at the moment we're kind of holding off just to see how it is but I do feel from because it's good that they've got each other but you want them to be socializing didn't you say it's kind of good that they've got each other but other than that like I do want them to be back in because Mia is really shy and so I was enjoying like she that like she like socializing with other kids and stuff like that. So I do want them to be back in because as much as they like they do have fun with each other, more often not that fun does my head in so I'd rather it was on someone else. You know, when they really go quiet, it's always something bad. Yes, if you can't hear them, somethings happening like they're drawing on a wall or there's shit somewhere. Well something awfuls happening when

they're quiet. The other day Georgia was in a little tent and she was just in there and she just kept saying like mud, mud and I was thinking how she got mud in the house there's no block we don't have any pot plants at ground level. How has it course, like, you got in there and it went mud that she was smearing on the on the tent. Oh no. It was like a political prisoner. It really was. She was so, I mean I didn't, I'll be honest of you, I didn't clear it up. Like Lindsay was more than happy to do that. Well, I'm more than happy. She was just there at the time. Static. So yeah, she ended up clearing it up, but that's the first dirty protest we've had. We're potty training Georgia a little bit at the moment. She's getting all right at it,

but she doesn't take a nappy off on the potty, so she just sits on it and shit's in the nappy. So I kind of take that as like a small victory. We can get you the next next stage going. It's like rain wasn't built in a day. So... I think that's a positive. I think with these things as well, there's all kids are going to find their own way through it, aren't they? Absolutely. Do you think that your kids have known it's same as usual. When she's in a really bad mood, I always try and blame it on lockdown and think, oh, she must be picking up on these weird times. And I suppose you'll only work that one out once lockdown's over. Alex, have you had a highlight and a low light of lockdown? It's been a moment that you thought this is, I'm losing the will. I think the low light light that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's the thi. the thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. the will. I think the low light, the per in the tent thing was was pretty low

for everyone concerned. Also I'll be honest with you another low point came on like the first morning of it when I kind of sat them down and like read them some books and you finish reading the book and then I thought they're going to go, that was all right then and when it? That's just like sit and chill out for a minute. And the first word I heard was again. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. I noticed the caterpillar was hungry and it's had some food and it's turned into a butterfly.

There's not a lot of substance, but I don't think you need the first time I saw it but I left it a bit of a while before I watched it again. When you were a kid growing up, what was there any kind of stuff to teach you right disability? No, there wasn't really. There wasn't any but like people who were always missing legs are always always baddies so they're always not pirates or something like that. Stephen Orkin is all you had with it. It was the main, the main one, would he? I remember the best thing for me as a kid

was the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles, they had three fingers. Yes! It was like, it was like, I remember when they reached their peak popularity, I was thinking, if only one of the ghostbusters could have had one leg, I'd have had an absolute growth. It wasn't a lot of it knocking about, and there wasn't like a lot of examples, really. As I said, I didn't really know any other like disabled people, so it was quite, it

was quite weird for me, for me as a kid. Alex, what about your highlight? Which was just like a lovely moment. Mate, my definite highlight came last week and the kids had their paddling pool out. And I went and got in it with them. We just finished like a morning meeting on last leg. And I went and got in the paddling pool with them. And it was so hot.

And I managed to teach them, like to use their their their their their them like to use their little like cups of water and like pour them on me like they're keeping like a beach whale alive. They were either side of me they were so happy doing this game and they were just literally getting cups of water and just pouring them on me and honestly like it was just so blissful and perfect for me. And it was almost like you sit there and you go, you know what, this was worth it? Like all those early days, the tele went on and you had to keep them amused.

To lead to this moment, it was just proper happiness. It almost like brought like a dear to my eye. Oh, what lovely story. I didn't expect that from where we were earlier. No, what a lovely image to be left with as well. Yeah, I mean there's probably going to come a time in about 10 years' time and I'll watch free Willie and not know why, but we'll get that out of the room. Oh, Alex Brok.

It's been pleasure to speak to you. Cheers, cheers, see you later. Bye, bye. Alex, Brooke are there. I think, genuinely, I know this sounds like a weird thing to say, because I work with Alex so much, and obviously I forget, because you're so familiar with it, that he is a disabled man and that comes into everything he does in a way that is easy to forget. th. th. th. that. that, th. th. th. th. to th. th. to to to that, th. to thi, to thi, thi, to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to th, that, thee, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to that, to to that, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. By, thi, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, to thee, to to to to to to to to to to to to to thee, thee, thee, familiar with it, that he is a disabled man and that comes into everything he does in a way in the way that is easy to forget. Yeah, definitely, because you know, as much as you don't want to be defined by having disabilities,

it does influence and affect everything you have to do in your life. Everything has to be planned for it. But what I love for Alex Bricker is, on one hand, it will be so progressive and inform like oh my god I've never thought about these problems before that a disabled person would worry about how they could be a parent and then he'll say something to sound like a dad from the 50s and I just can't he's like the most woke modern guy ever then he'll be like oh yeah oh yeah I'll get your dinner on we're like you know I think it's a hard thing to compute but I think it's great he speaks so honestly to the the the the th you th you th you th I th I th I th I th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thin thin thin thus thus thus th th th th th th th th they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thin thin to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try to to took to to to be, you know, a bit shy and embarrassed to talk about that. But I think we caught him in a real big moment that he realized his daughter acknowledged his hand and that was it and it was fine.

I don't even think he really knew what he was worried about either, but he was worried which is ultimately...I suppose, you know, in a weird way, we're all kind of when you're a kid you want your parents almost to be as invisible or just blend in as much as possible? Yes, yeah, because you're embarrassed by everything they do and everything they say and so if anything that's slightly different to what all the others do I have it's like a thing but I they're just kids kids are so resilient and just don't care you know it's more the adult's own anxiety that gets pushed on him I find at times but... And also, if anything like, you know, his daughter is just going to be totally familiar with his disability from, it's just totally normal and every day to her, do you know what I mean? The best way it could be in that sense. And I think as well the way Alex is, you know, he's been on TV, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th is, th is, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the way, thi, thi, to to thi, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to thi.a. is just, to thi, like, thi, the last leg for years talking about his disabilities and talking about all the different stuff he's gone through it. It has generally, you know, before him really,

there wasn't many people with such obvious disabilities on TV or in the media and I think, you know, because of him, because of him, when she's at school and stuff and that. Because of what he's done and what people have done with the Paralympics and stuff like, I.. thia. thia. thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. before, before, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. before, thi. before, thi. thi. before, thi. Before, thi. Before, thi, before thi, before the Paralympics and stuff like that so I think amazingly inspirational but also you think howls are you getting away with that? Oh I think you know you've got to make the best of the situation which I can get my leg on. Yeah exactly I mean if I had like one leg I'd use that to my advantage as well to get out of doing stuff. Yeah or to get around in Channel 4 show. Either way. Thank you to Alex. If you want to get in touc for the show, this is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents.

Thanks for listening everyone. Don't forget to rate and review us five stars please, it all helps get us up that chart. And we'll speak to you next week. Cheers guys. Bye. Bye. What a weird way to say it. I don't know why it is that.