Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP2: Jon Richardson

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

Joining us in the studio this week to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown is comedian Jon Richardson.   If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @lockdownparent  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero-dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you university is for get Uber won for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student joined for just 499 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to

lockdown parenting hell the show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello this is Josh Widdickham. Hello Robbecke, how are you? I'm very well Josh Widdickam, how are you? Well, you're not expecting me to throw to you this episode. You seem very nervous about me bringing you in so early. That wasn't nerves. That was me trying to be a bit professional, but yeah, do you know what? I'm all right, yeah. I'm fine. I'm full of beans. I'm, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm th. I'm th. I'm full, I'm th. I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw to to throw to throw to throw to the. to to to to to lockdown parenting how. Thank you everyone who listened to the first episode with Catherine. It was a pleasure to have her on. Today we are joined by the brilliant John Richardson. We will come to that though.

First, Rob, how have your few days been? Good in a way. I mean, it was incredible. Thank you to all the people listening, first of all before we get onto the negative parts of my children. But second in th the th the th th th the th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the thea. thea. thea. thean. thea. thean. thean. toean, to the negative parts of my children but second in the podcast charts that's amazing isn't it amazing who is it Louis Ferru number one yeah absolutely we'll do him we'll do him we'll do him but you know the worst thing this is this is a low moment for me so I clicked on the Louis Theruth one that was number one he was interviewing John Monson and I thought I'd really like to listen to that, but I don't want to give him the numbers. I don't want to give him the numbers if that's one tips him over.

Don't give him the numbers. Radio 4, Louis Ferru, what's his name? Ronson, Mark Rons, where he is, he can do one. No one cares about you, mate. Back off. That's our chart. me the rushes of that so I could listen to it without giving them the extra click towards upwards in the iTunes chart that would be ideal for me thank you. Yeah but the rest of my week how's that been? Well Rob should we start with a voice memo you sent me? Oh yes let's do that. I was upstairs having a little chill Lucy go and have a little lie down I've been a bit stressed today just bits and bits and bobbs. Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob, Rob. Rob. Rob, Rob. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Rob, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've been a bit stressed today, just bits and bobs. Rob, can you help me, come downstairs. The tea rolls on the potty, yeah, basically, Rob, I've just trod in her shit.

I've got her on the potty trying to get the rest out, but somewhere around the house from the garden there is human shit, so can you find it? So that's what I'm up to now. Just have a little look for some human shit. I think that should be a regular thing, Rob. We should do a regular feature. And our producer will sort out some kind of theme tune. Rob Beckett's dispatches from the front line. I've got like a bulletproof fest and press written on it all to go out. Dodging nuggets. I've got to ask you, Rob, did you find the shit? Well, so basically, I forgot, I sent you that actually, he sort of brought back sort of PTSD memories for me,

but no, I didn't, but I did find what was a weird brown lump in the garden, but I've got a serious pigeon problem in my garden, which I don't know if I've spoken to you about on this show. No, not on this show, no. Well, so basically, Lou gave the kids some bird feed to feed the birds, but didn't tell them to put her in at the back or in a pot or on a bird feeder, she just free reign. So the kids scattered bird feed over their entire garden, like the bottom of a hamster cage. And now my garden resembles Chafaga Square in the mid-90s. There are pigeons everywhere.

It's like they've been telling their mates so I don't know if it was pigeon droppings. You've turned into the woman from home alone too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me. How about you? As it can't the today? It's not as bad. Yesterday I found an empty bag of marbles in the sitting room. Oh yeah. And I couldn't find any of the marbles. And basically today, I reckon it's a bit like walking in a mine where you don't know whether you're going to step on a mine at any point. I reckon I've stepped on three marbles.

I can't stick to a see-through glass marbles. So my sitting room is now a kind of danger zone whenever I walk anywhere. It's your daughter Kevin McAllister? She's for calling Colkin and I'm the pigeon lady. It feels like snakes on a plane. You just don't know where these things are but you know they're out there. Well I've got a similar problem. My daughters keep hiding and stealing stuff. They have, I've got for some reason, three sky remotes in the front room from different times where like we've lost to and bought enough one right my eldest I don't know which one has taken all the batteries out and hidden them I came downstairs after bedtime to find three remote controls with no batteries in and I've never been angrier oh and it's a first old problem I had to watch Netflix I could use my PS4 controller

out the grading's at so so that is a low moment when my daughter was like one and and she the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't the the th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that three that that that three that that that that the that that that that that that th controller. I had the grading set. So that is a low moment. When my daughter was like, she was about one, and she'd really got into using the remote, did you have this where they just wouldn't leave the remote alone, because they know it's something important to you. And so I decided for Christmas, I went on Amazon and I bought like a dummy remote control, like another remote to give to her for Christmas.

And she didn't bite, she didn't fucking bite her talk. She knew. She knew it didn't, how did she know that that remote has no power on the TV but the Skyrun and the Sony one or whatever it is? I don't understand. She can't talk but she can differentiate between different models of remote control. Yeah, and they will still use a DVD remote that you never use because they know it does something. There's a noise or a light that it's not even HGM-I din anymore. There's a scar hanging out the back of your telly. But like, they know it's fake, it's weird. On that, what are the things that you've bought your kids to get to distract them? Email in to hello at lockdownparentparenting.co.uk, the most pointless attempt to buy something for your kids

to get them not to use what you want to use for yourself. Most pointless thing I ever bought was a tummy time machine, which is basically a bit of plastic. Because your time. It's a big deal for six months tummy time that is like an actual game changing situation where they don't go on their belly enough they can't look up at some point I don't know. I remember there was a point in our life where that was going to be the making or breaking us as a family. If we're not getting the tummy time in it's all going. If if the the tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tum. tum. tum. tum. tum. thea. tum. tum. tum. tum. tum. tum. the the the the the the the the the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the game. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. tume. the tummy time in, it's all gonna fall apart. My life will fall apart, we'll get evicted, we'll be on, can't pay, take it away because we didn't do tummy time, that sort of catastrophic thing. Yeah.

And it's a little thing you put them on, but I've got a floor. So I don't know why I bought this that plays the noise to get them to sleep? That actually worked for us. Did it? Yep, you and the sheep works. I've got a lot of respect, I've got a lot time for Ewan. I will not have. Another good tip is get a couple of them and swap them in because I either get smelly or dirty or you lose it. Oh yeah. We had a back up you. We've got a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the their tho th th th th th th th. I'll th. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I tip. I tip. I'll tip. I'll tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. the. I the or dirty or you lose them. Oh yeah. We had a backup you. We've got four, she calls it pop, it's like a kind of blanket that she holds for reassurance. We've got four exactly the same and I'm thinking, how can you not differentiate these but the remote

controls are all over it? Yeah, how reassuring is it when you can have four interchangeable? She's got the technical knowledge the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thureure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure is thure is thus sure sure sure is thure is thure is thure it is thure it is thure it is thure is thure is thu sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure. their. their. their. their. thor. thorou sure. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. theirtechnical knowledge of one of those people that helps you in Dixon's. It's unbelievable. Get in touch if you've got anything on those. I haven't mentioned this Rob. But I just want to talk to you about how jealous I am of my friend Stu who's living a dream life. The other day you put on our WhatsApp group, so there's a few dads on there and a few people who are dads on there. It's. It's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. the. the. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to toe. toe. toe. to. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. dads on there. It's mainly used for football, this WhatsApp group. How does this reflect on your life, Robb. So he, right, last Sunday, he walked into central London from East London, took a photo on Berwick Street from the angle that is on the cover of what's the story morning glory and then walked home. That was his Sunday. It sounds like he's having a breakdown, Josh. I don't think you... This isn't like a story of a man's amazing life.

What a waste of time! This is what I want to be doing, Rob. He's having a 9-Ease breakdown. Mate, I've built a career on having a 9-E's breakdown. Anyway, we'd like to hear from you, so now it is time for the lockdown parenting post bag. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Okay, this is from Sarah Hellywell. Morning Josh and Rob. I had to share so yesterday a neighbor posted on a neighborhood Facebook page that she was putting out a box to collect for the local food bank. I thought this was a lovely idea and began

trying to explain the concept to my three-year-old. So off we went for our daily exercises with a bag full of tins and pasta. I placed them all in the box, which was pretty much on the lady's doorstep, and then the meltdown began, the the the melt, the melt, and the melt, the melt, and the melt, and the melt, though, and though, and the melt, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, and thirty, thirty, I, I'm, thee, and thee, and though, and thirty, and thirty, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, thee, thee, thee, thee, thin, that, that, th'ea'ea'eat, tote'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e, th'e,. My child said I don't want them to have my food it's mine. I want it back get it back mommy. What a situation to be in. What would you have done in that situation? I mean it depends on the food if he's just like beans and like tomato soup and stuff you know the kids not that bothered about but if it's like pepper pig jellies I think that's child abuse. Imagine that lot loads of Harry Bow and sweets all their favorite stuff but oh no thinne because she said I had to pretty much wrestle him away from the box, kicking and screaming about his sweet corn,

hoping that no one was watching. That's the situation you find yourself in with these kids, isn't it? Because you can't explain, obviously you can't explain these situations to them. Three's too young to sort of explain the fact that people are really struggling, they can't afford to buy food, and that's why people that can need to ban together. So I always go down there just feed a load of rubbish.

This stuff tastes horrible, we don't want it. Let them have it. Yeah, because people do say you should like, you've got to be honest in these situations. I don't think, you can't go, you've got to understand there's been 10 years of Toryold. Let me tea you back to the 2008 financial crash. Now that's where this all really... I tell you what I am, my friend Tom, he was one of my best man, so he's a wonderful man, right?

Great guy. He's got a child who's younger than mine who is already at the age of 18 months. Get this, the kid is requesting when they're thua thua thage thage thage thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thee thee thee the. theateateate. thoomoomoomoomoomorrow thomate. I'm thom. I thom. I thom. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I that that the. I the. I that that to to to te. te. tea. tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell the they go on eye player to watch football. How lucky! I thought you was going to say like they're reading or something. No, I can give a shit about that, mate. His kid, so they went on eye player to watch something special, right? And his kid pointed at the football because they've been in the part playing football and was like, can we watch that? And he watched France for Argentina from the 2018 World Cup in full. I'll show you something special, mate.

Look at the way I'm back, first forward. Oh wow, that I am jealous of that. Yeah, yeah. I don't care if someone could do a puzzle that's two years older than them. No. No. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at building better schools.c.c.a. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. What does Possible sound like for your business?

It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit Amex.C. slash business platinum. Can I tell you a funny story about Tom Crane? Yeah. When I organized a charity gig for Arthinal Football Club and he was supposed to be the opening axe. Alex Brooker was hosting doing the MC work, right? And he was supposed to be bringing on Tom Crane within about a minute, tom crane's elbows had swollen to the size of a child's skull. But all big, globulous, big lumpy elbow. And it was like, oh my god, oh my god, I think I got stoned by a bee. I'm like, we're indoors. What's what you're talking about? And he's like, oh my

got and he couldn't cope with it. So in the end, he couldn't go on and people getting him ice packs that I think an arsenal physio, Gary Lewin turned up and he's putting ice packs at his elbows and all that anyway, I had to go on and do it was really awkward. Did it turned out that he'd had a personal trainer that day that had made him do too heavy a weights and he was too polite to say anything and his arms and swollen. Wait, we've got to at some point get Tom on to to him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him, Tom. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to this podcast to refute those two stories. This is from Chris McHugh. During the second week of homeschooling my five-year-old, we took some maths. He was attempting to solve 16 minus 9 and gave me the answer 7.

I wasn't happy with this answer and told him it was wrong. He said it wasn't as he'd done it on his fingers. This went on for a few minutes until I said, in capital letters, it doesn't matter if you've done it on your fingers, it's wrong. He began to cry and argue with me, so I sent him to the naughty step. It was only most explained to him why his reaction had been wrong, that I realized that he was in fact right. Oh, God. Oh God.

And I immediately apologized and wanted to punch myself in the face. Oh, to make matters worse, he simply said, you don't have to be sorry, Daddy. It's okay. Oh, that's so degraded. Which made me want to punch myself in the testicles. My wife came downstairs and found me hugging him, which is in my eyes and asked if I wanted I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to pu to pu to pu to pu to pu to pu to pu to pu to putuce to putuc want to punch myself in the testicles. My wife came downstairs and found me hugging him, which is, and my eyes, and asked if I wanted a break. Oh, God, it is hard. It's hard. Could I just say, he's, but also did I mention I'm a primary school teacher?

What? Oh, get out, mate. Oh, get out, mate. Come, that's pathetic. Chance for a quick one more. This is good, because this is helpful, this is helpful, this is helpful, thii is addicted to mango and I've decided to reach out to help you. I too am addicted to mango. It started as a child when I lived in Papua New Guinea and mangoes were in vast supply. At the start of lockdown I started googling and the hope of finding ways to get my daily mango fix without leaving the house. Happily I found a website that sells frozen mango in 10 kilo bags. No way. It was excellent and it's pre-chopped too.

However, I underestimated how big a 10 kilo bag of mango would look. Yes. Are you going to be eating mango until the end of time? So how big a bag did she get? She sent me a link? So ten kilos of mango. That's a lot of mango. What's the kind of freezers she got for a mango? Also, I can't believe someone listens here

that was born in Papua New Guinea. What, oh, it's mental, wouldn't it? The internet. I never thought I'd have some sort of online correspondence. I've the thin' thinnenenenene. with a lady from Papua New Guinea who's found, you know, a fellow mango madman. She's not interested in the parenting podcast, but she typed mango into iTunes and we came up. So she ended up listening for that. Maybe that could be a feature of the mango mandim and just sort of all mango lovers come together and

chat mango chat. So if you do want to get in touch with us, what are the topics again? Mango, has your child freaked out in a situation where it's really, really embarrassing and have you had any homeschooling nightmares? It seemed to be what we've covered. And also if you've bought anything here, was it? If you bought anything, or to distract the kid from something they wanted of yours, like you know, make up, we've had to buy some make up because them because they keep wanting to put on, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, because them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, the, the, the, to the, theat, the, the an the an to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the and lose nice stuff. Oh really? And does it work? Yeah, both are lovely. They're all ready for a nut out. This is how you get in touch. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK. Or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. So the guest this week is John Richardson, very funny comedian, friend of ours. He lives up in the north, Hebden Bridge with Lucy Beaumont, his wife and their young daughter

who's three years old. And I was excited about this one, Josh, because I know that John is a very angry man and hopefully his sadness can make me happy. Let's say. The Chardon Freud Special with John Richardson. Good afternoon, John Richardson. Good afternoon John Richardson, how are you? Yes, I'm very well. How are you? Yeah, we're all right, are we?

Yeah, we're fine. I think we're good. In a way. Everyone knows how to answer that question. No, that's it. Nobody knows. Because secretly it's awful, but you know it's worse for everyone else. So you can't really say it's bad. It's worse. that you. Everyone's got its worse of me story, haven't they? So that it never ends at whatever level there. Yeah, and I think what we're trying to do is free people up who feel guilty about complaining to have an outlet to complain.

Oh, I'm gonna complain. Oh, good. I don't worry about that. I'll set the bar mate, don't you worry about hi. Every day's a nightmare, isn't it? But... Do you want to just take me through, so you've got one, you've got a daughter? We have a daughter who's three years old, about three and a half. Proper three-nager, which is the term that I've been taught.

Proper, Bolshee won't do what she's told, but in a sort of witty, you know, both of us are comics. So yeah, she's learned how to use humor as a way of deflecting from being an absolute pain in the ass. Which can't criticize her for, because that's the one thing I've taught her. I mean, we're just, I mean, to let you into what's happening, it's, what, what, what, what, what, what, half, half, half, half, half, the, th is, th is, th, th,'m having a beer because lunch was just an absolute nightmare.

We had a nice morning, we went for a walk, came back, cooked a lovely curry, no spice in it so that Elsie could have some, put it down in front of her, just went absolutely apes yet, it wouldn't touch it. And I've had a few meals where I've said, look, you know, we need you to eat and we need to understand what meal times are. And th, th, tho th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, thi, th.. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, toda, today, today, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, th, we need you to eat and we need to understand what meal times are. And today I said, I like this curry, so I'm going to leave you with your mother and you can do what you need to do. And I'm going to eat it in a different room because I'm sick of you ruining my meals. And you had your blend curry to the taund curry on. to to to to to to to to to to thory oncurenatecurenatecury, thury, thury, thury, thuillure, thuillure, thuillure, thuillure, thuillipe, thuillipe, thuil, I, I, I'm, thrown, thuil, thuil, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I..a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I like, thin, thin, tha, tha, toa, toa, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I like, I like, I mine, I put some coriander in it, all the stuff she doesn't like that I omitted to handcraft a meal for a child that is now halfway through some fish dippers

and waffles. Do you think maybe you'd made her carry too bland? She said there was pepper in it and there isn't because I fucked the fucking thing, but you can't say that to a three more, can you? I know exactly what's in it........ their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. It, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I' their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I's to to, to to to. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the th. th. th. thing, but you can't say that to a three-year-old, can you? I know exactly what's in it, because I put it in there. What I'm learning is, when the rage kicks in instantly, that's my fault, not hers. So when she says that, and I say, oh, look, I promise you there isn't come over here and I'll show you the ingredients. And that is, the fucking isn't any pepper. When that thought comes to my head I think you need to go away now because she's bored of you as well so I went in the different

room and I think that was the right policy. Oh that's nice. How's your beer? The beer is cold and delicious and it's the first of, well not many because you know there'll be the the the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole th th th th th th th th th is th is thus tho tho tho tho's tho's tho's tho. It's tho. tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It is tho. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. It is th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho. It's tho. It's thooooooooooooooooooooo. It's their thooo-c. It's thoooo-cou. It's th. It's th. It cold and delicious and it's the first of, well not many, because you know, there'll be this whole round to have a ginn at tea time, won't they? What are you making for tea? Are you doing a lot of cooking? Yeah, food's my sort of go to, you know, I wake up in the morning and I need to know what we're having. So I was clattering in the have Birch and Musely for breakfast.

So I was clattering around in the kitchen, soaking oats. She didn't eat that either. What she does? She eats until she's not hungry. She doesn't eat until she's full. I don't know if you're experiencing this. My, I've got two and one eats, the younger one eats, the younger one thin, the other one doesn't, like the the younger, the th, th...... And one tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm they. they. they's, I's, I'm the younger, she's, she's, she doesn't the younger, she's the younger, she's the younger, she's, she's, she's, she's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. And, I's. thoome. thoome. thoome. tho, I's thoomease. th th th th th th th th th th they. they's they's theymea'ea'ease. they's they's mouth and goes, oh, I'm not starving hunger anymore, I'm off. And then an hour later, can I have a sandwich, come some bread? Yeah. I know, but it sort of makes sense, doesn't it? When there's so many toys in the house, the sort of policy is, well, I'll just pick, to, I know you know what it tastes like and you're not hungry anymore, but the policy is, you now shove all this gruel into your face until it slightly hurts.

I don't know if the words the policy is are going to be helpful to agree. She genuinely has picked up, and it's one of those things you don't know you're saying it until they say it back to you. She'll say, she'll, she'll say, she'll say, she'll, she'll say, she'll, to say, to say, to, to, th, to, th, to, th, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll to, I'll to, I'll to to, I'll, I'll, I, I, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, to, to, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to me, to, the the the the know you're saying it until they say it back to you. She'll say now, she'll say to me, okay, Daddy, here's the deal. And then we have a negotiation. Here's the deal, I eat this waffle and then that's it, and then we can play. And you have to say, yeah, okay, fine. John with these deals, you've got to be prepared to walk to walk to walk to walk to walk to walk the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. the deal. the deal. the, they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the deal. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. We.a, the, the, the, the, together.a, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, too prepared to walk away, that's the problem. I've got a little bit of a tip for try to get to eat lunch because like I said mine don't really do it. Do a picnic buggy. But what you do is make a pack lunch, put them in the buggy with it, and then you'll thu try and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. to their. to to to tip. tip. tip. tip. their their. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tip. tip. tip. tip. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip, Rob. It's a lovely tip, but then you get to an age where she needs to learn to sit and eat a meal, you know, because this lockdown situation,

she's not going to nursery anymore. And nursery was where she was learning. You know, you can be a bit of a prick at home while we're eating tea, but you can't, if you're a mess around at nursery, I tell you, that was my saving grace whenever I did some bad, like weak parenting, was I'd always think, she's picking it up at nursery. So it doesn't matter if I drop the ball a bit. She's eating great food at nursery, so this cheese on toast is fine.

And now I haven't got that. Yeah, but you worry too much because when they go, we've got to teach them to use a knife and fork. No, I've never met anyone at 37, you go to a restaurant, they're just like shoveling soup pop with their hands because they never learn. Like, they will learn at some point, do you know what I mean? Like, the same with sitting down, it's like, you don't see like grown up so wo'n'a'a'a' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their th. th. th. tho' tho'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' their their their their their they're just they're just their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. teat'lion. teat'lion. teat'lion. tm. tm. tea'lion. to. tea'lion. to. they're they're they're push me around in a buggy while I eat it. How are you doing with TV, John? Do you feel guilt with watching TV?

We're trying to have it so it's sort of set times. So, you know, we have, and by we have, I mean, I have drawn up a rotter that we operate on now. So, and is she aware of the rotor? Yeah, Elsie's aware of the rotor. She gets half the day with mommy, half the day with daddy. We have lunch together, we have tea together, and then we're together in the evening until bedtime and weekends we don't do any work, we're all together. Just to have some structure, and the mainly it's for the person who do important stuff, so you might say, oh, can you look after it for an hour so I can do some work, or so I can have a wash. But what you don't say is, can you look after it for an hour so I could do absolutely nothing? So I just,

can you take her for an hour so I can watch two episodes of friends that I've seen 100 times and then hate myself. So the rotor is a way thi to that's your time when you're on up with Elsie for the week, do what you want with it, get all your work done across the week, but if you want to get up and watch the news for an hour and then have a coffee and that's your time, that's it and what you don't do is say to the other person, I need to waste some time and just sit and stare at the tap. tap, tap, tap, their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, their, of that the agreement is you can't watch Telly with her on your own because then you're taking that you know from the other person otherwise she just watched Telly all day so Telly is you know after tea if she eats her tea which she doesn't and then at weekends. Oh wow and what are you watching? Oh anything American on Netflix she's just

just got the most incredible American accent. She just is an American child. We moved up north so that she would sort of sound like us, and she just sounds like an American Frankenstein. She loves Hotel Transylvania at the moment. She's just watched the trolls movie. She enjoyed that. I've taught her to say, um, this morning's activity while we were on a walk, so we were getting some exercise, but I taught her to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say but I taught her to say it wasn't me it was that Carol basket. I want to get Pearl on to movies for her TV time yeah and the reason for that is not kind of some kind of cultural reason but because a movie is

90 minutes and we're watching Sarah and Duck exclusively at the moment, not my decision, which is very, I love Sarah and Duck, but because there's seven minutes, every seven minutes the decision is made to watch another one and so you are hit with a guilt. So there's the repetitive decision to remain in front of the TV, whereas if it was a longer thing, you've made your piece that you're going to watch that longer thing. And it's good to know they've got the attention span that they're following a storyline and that they're... A gateway for us was the film Sing. I don't know if you've tried that way. Oh, it's great film. And it also, it elevates their music taste because it's their proper, their proper, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their attention's following. It's following. It's following their their their their. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's following. It's their. It's following. It's their. It's following. It's following. It's their. It's following. It's following. It's their. It's following. It's. It's. It's their. It's their. It's. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their things to actually liking Elton John and songs like that. So then she was asking to listen to Elton John in

the car because she sort of fancies the gorilla in sing, which I think is all right. I think I probably fancied Chitara from Thundercats until I was in my late teens. So I'm just assuming it's all all right for a three-year-old-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in to-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-s.-s. So. So. So. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllli. to-I-I's to-I's to-I's three-year-old to fancier. I find getting kids onto a proper film is a bit like when you decide to eat well, we'll be healthy. You do it for a couple of days and before you know it, they're just like seven episodes into Paul Patrol. Because they're preschool three days a week, both of them, and like we do loads of activities, and we see the attitude and then we're indoors all day. One of them watched Muppet Babies, I swear, four hours in a row. And I just went up to Lou and I went, Lou, we've got this car, she's done four hours, isn't it? He went, I know,

but she's quiet. And I was like, yeah. Are you, when they're watching thingsthings, do you feel like you have to be watching as well, or are you alright to look at your phone? No I do, I mean, this makes me sound like an absolute child, but I take enjoyment out of watching. I love most of the stuff she watches. I think the change in kids tele, like the sense of humor is everyone's worked out I think if you roughly do that Simpsons thing and it's funny, it's then a lot of stuff like I found the Mr Bean cartoon, you know, genuinely makes me laugh. I think it's so funny and I think hey doggie is properly funny. The hey doggie is a good show and I think it's a great show and it's like quite, oh actually fairly educational in a way about like kid doing stuff.

What I don't get is it's he's like a scout leader, isn't it? It's all fine. And when all the parents waiting to pick up the kids is like, oh, hug, duggy, hug, hug, duggy. No, there's no need to hugge him at the end. And then they go, oh, your mom and dad's here to pick you up, see you later. Before you go, quick cuddle to cuddle your teacher, would you, end of the day? No, but if my teacher was a big fat dog, I might have. Uh-oh, you should have gone to my school. John, so you've got all this time on your own. Did you think you were going to be productive in lockdown away from parenting? And have you been productive in lockdown?

Let me, let me pick you up on one issue I have a lot of time on your own. Eh, I've got a lot of time at home, but with my family. That has proved to be very different. So actually, you know, Zoom has been a godsend. I'll set up a sort of eight o'clock zoom and I'll just tell her it went until 10 when really, you know, we're all done and I sit after half an hour and then I just stay on my own for an hour and a half. I had a Zoom meeting the other day and I went up to my office to do the Zoom meeting and he texted me at the moment I got into the office to say he'd be 10 minutes late and the joy I felt at that moment. And then I just kind of sat in a chair and just stared. Yeah.

Well because everyone says what you're going to do after lockdown, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to wait for everyone to leave my house and just sit in it quiet. Yeah, absolutely. I've already told that. That's all I want. I said I'm going to book a travel lodge in Aberdeen and I'm going to drive to it and I'm just going to stay there for two nights for two two two two two two two tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the their for tho their for their tho their their their their to to to to to their to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theooooooooooeoome. to to to to speak about it. Do you speak to your friends that aren't parents and do they understand your situation? So you're obviously like me a friend of Matt Ford. Yes.

He sent me last Sunday a picture of he's taken a photo of his TV and it had like an old England team set up like the tactics on the screen and I said what's that and he said, oh are you not watching? Yeah. And I said what? and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he th, th, th, th. And he said, th. And he said, th. And he said, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to speak, to th... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. And he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to the. to to the. the. And, th.ics on the screen and I said what's that and he said oh are you not watching? Yeah and I said what and he said I'm he was re-watching the full 90 minutes plus extra time plus coverage plus penalties of England v. West Germany from 1990 yes in his England shirt with a beer and he wondered why I wasn't doing that with my Sunday afternoon. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard not to be very angry. At that conversation. But I have subsequently, I've recorded that and I am going to spend an evening. I'm Aberdeen. Absolutely. Yeah, it's hard. I think you've got to sort of do a bit of both because, you know, not to get serious about it. But it is, even that is not as good as it's, I mean, I actually think having a kid in this

situation is the best and worst thing because it's hard, but I would absolutely be destroyed now. If I didn't have a child to be vaguely sentient for in the morning, why would I stop eating crap and drink it? It does make the day thier thier thier thier thier thier thier th is so thier th is so th is so thier th is so th is so thi.. thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, to thi, to to thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi so quicker. They're horrific but they're quick. What you don't want is exciting long days. That's not what you want is shit short ones, not really nice long days. You want shit short ones, not really nice long days. I haven't I haven't been bored. I haven't come close to being bored in the last month. And that's not because I'm having great chats. I was going to say, have you had any rousing doors with your partner? Because obviously you're both working and writing and stuff and got deadlines and stuff. As one of you being busier than the other, are you doing any homeschooling? What's the setup? What for me, Lucy is a lot more driven than I am. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I, thi. thi. th. I've, th. I've, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, a lot, she's a lot more driven than I am, so we've both sort of got stuff on, but I just use lockdown's excuse not to do it, even though that you can't say to people,

I can't do that I'm busy because they know you're not. I still... That's worse. There's no excuses anymore. Yeah, you've got to do much. Thanks Thanks in the afternoon. That's great, I'm jealous. I'm trying to sort of exercise to cancel out the increased drinking and calories. There was a point, first week when I realized I didn't go down the crispile when I went shopping and I nearly burst into tears on the drive back from Tesco. So, what am I going to do without crisps for a week? And I can't go out just for crisps in case I get pulled over by the police. She, yeah, we had a few, but then I think if you do this job, because we both do the same job, we're sort of in this routine anyway of both sort of

tripping over each other during the days. So unless one of us is on tour, we're both at home anyway, but I certainly, the food waste is a big one and I'm probably more on the sink strainer going back in the sink than I have been at any point in our marriage. But big exclusive, it was our fifth wedding anniversary last week and she didn't do anything for it, didn't even get my card. So, um, I think to be honest, I'm sweet now probably for the rest of the year. I think I'm all right now. John, Rob has one final question. Yes.

In this lockdown, as there have been a high light and a low light at a point where you thought, this is pretty good this and a point where you thought I cannot go on. Oh, I think there's one of those every hour. I think, you know, I used to be in a mood for a day and then all right for a day. And now I think broadly, within an hour I sort of hit that point that, I don't know, what is the best moment of lockdown so far? I really enjoyed watching the trolls movie the Charles movie with some popcorn on like a Tuesday afternoon and thought, God, that wouldn't have happened.

You know, should have been at nursery, I'd have been outside in the pub. And the worst, I don't know. I mean, I think I may have just had one of the worst, you know, they're losing it over lunch. It's just such a small, it's when you know like like I'll tell you the worst actually was my Lucy got back and said Elsie just asked me if everyone's gonna die And I thought oh god You know she is we're not talking to her about it, but she's clearly hearing stuff. She over here's a bit of a zoom chat and so that was a real wake-up call like, you know, Your job now is to make sure that this three-year-old is happy and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the-so. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. t. t. t. to-I. t. to. the the their their their their their their their th. that this three-year-old is happy and is okay and is not, you know, is not too aware of what's going on outside. So, yeah, that was... What did Lucy say to her? She said, um... You will if you don't eat your fucking curry.

We loaded up some government websites, talked about facts and figures. John, thank you so much. I'm glad that you're doing well. Cheers, mate. Thank you. Thanks, John. Thank you. See you later, John Richardson. What a nice man. He is, I know they always throw around the nicest man in comedy, but he would be up there for me. He would be up there. When I did my first ever eight acting cats, he was so nice to me. Maybe he was so comfortable and he was like, oh is any topics you know and stuff and so I've always sort of been indebted him for that so it's a bit awkward when I became the captain out of 10 cats but let's not get bogged down by that. I love you John. His curry, his curry freak out, yeah. How much can you put effort into your the kids food when you don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat theat theat theat theat, the the the the the the the the the the that, that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat toooooooooooooooo food when you don't know if they're going to eat it? It's such a... Yeah. I just feel like it's just inversely, the amount of effort I put in

in, it makes it just more and more unlikely that she's going to eat it. They can see you're cooking. They know. It's like the like we're saying with remote control, they can see you put an effort in. And they're a little opportunity. It. It's a little little little little little little little. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their little. their little. their little. their little. their little. their their their their their their the amount. the amount. the amount. the amount. the amount. The amount. The amount. The amount. The amount. The amount. The amount. The amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount, the amount. the amount, the amount. the amount. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount, the amount, the amount in the upper hand. Yeah. Do I mean of like, no, I'm not going to eat that now. My daughter hates mashed potato. I've never, never got on board of it just against mashed potato, right? And then my mom was round, right? And then she was love, she loves her nano. And my mom was going, do you want to, do you want to do it? Do you want to, oh please I love mashed potato. Eventually my mom went go make it, make it, went all right, I made it. I made it. She ate every single bit of it and every mouth full of mashed potatoes she ate, sat

with my mom, she looked at me in the eye, I was like, doing out of strato, staring me out of order. Every mouthful she looked to me at the corner of her eye. I mean you've got this to cover, that's a four-year-old. They get eaten, yeah. That she's already manipulating me at four. I do love that I said have you made any kind of intricate meals and they with mashed mashed potato to left the quason bit. And then I'm like trying to make her eat a quason and you're like, as if that's a good bit of the meal.

Get the butter in, yeah? Get the butter, get the green. Get that, eat the greens. I'm trying to make her eat the quarrel. Right, that's it for this week. We've got the brilliant comedian and also part of the Curry story, Lucy Beaumont, John's wife, on our next episode. We thought it would be fun to hear both sides of the story and it really was. It's eye-opening, it really is. Could I also say this, Josh, if you're listening, like and subscribe this? want to move up that chart, writer of you, because we want to be number one. We're hunting down Louis Ferru. The only thing I think we can do, Josh is we need to get Louis on this one. And that hopefully, we can then nick his followers. So that could be a good way, but just, you know, you know, you've got to to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooo. the the too. too. to be.'m coming for it. He knows it as well. He knows it. He knows we're coming, Josh. Do you know what I mean? He can smell it.

We're the hungry young wolves. Yeah? Luther who's been knocking around for years. I wonder whether the Luthers even considered us this week. I doubt he has. He's too busy sitting on the top of to to to to to to be sitting on to be sitting on to be to be to be to be the to be the to be the to be sitting on to be sitting on the the to be sitting on top the the the to be sitting on the the to be sitting the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the tooom..... tooom. toooooooom. tooooooom. toooooom. toooom. tooom. tooooom. toooooom. the the the the the the the the the cat that got the cream who and Mark Ronson having a chin wag. John Ronson. Whoever it is fucking Roncil as far as I'm concerned. We're coming for you Louis. Thank you everyone for listening. Thanks guys. Back on Tuesday with Lucy Beaumont we will see then. Goodbye. Right. Right. Hello and welcome to John Richardson and the Future Norts how to survive the apocalypse.

I am John Richardson, professional wingebag and defeatists and I am joined by the Futurenorts who are Mark Stevenson, hello. Hello. And Ed are the two experts who are invited before I make a series like Ultimate Warrior to make me look more informed and intelligent and this podcast will attempt to lay bare that entire process by proving that in fact I know nothing and they know everything. Each episode will discuss some problems facing our society and through an attempt to find some optimism we'll offer up some solutions as well. As my co-pilots on this journey, Mark and Ed are insightful, interesting and witty people and they can tell you exactly what the future will be in five years, right guys?

I'm not sure that's strictly true, but you know. No, I'll take it, yes, take the compliment where it's offered. They both know more than me and frankly are of more use to society than me. However, people seem to follow me, uh, to, to, to, to, me, me, to, to, to, me, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th me, th me, th interesting, to, thi, to, th int thi, thi, interesting, thi, interesting, thi, interesting, thi, interesting, interesting, interesting, interesting, thi, interesting, thi, thi, thi, interesting, thi, thi, thi, thi, their interesting, their interesting, their interesting, their interesting, their interesting, their, their, their interesting, their, their, their interesting, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, th frankly, are of more use to society than me. However, people seem to follow me on Twitter and not them. So this podcast is an attempt to reverse that process. If I have one goal for this podcast series, it's that by the end, I have three followers left and they are my wife, my neighbors, and my mom, and everyone else has realized, why wouldn't I just listen to these two in the first the first the first the first the first in the first in the first in the first in the first in the first the first the first the first the first thirs thi thi thus thus thus thus thus the the the the the the theateate the the the the the the the the the the the the the the.