Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP3: Lucy Beaumont

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP3: Lucy BeaumontJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown is comedian Lucy Beaumont who tells us all about her hamster sitcom, and more importantly as the partner of episode 2 guest Jon Richardson she's able to shed some light on what we are affectionately calling the 'curry-gate' scandal. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Commissions Apply. Visit MX. C. A.S.A.

to the te. toeckon. Hello. I'm Roeckley. the show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your

tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with me Rob Beckett and my man, Josh Winnocken. Hello, I think they're supposed to never been anyone's man. Delighted. My man, I love saying that, I love to say that out loud. Yeah, I can't imagine many people refer to you in that way.

No, no, I've never been referred to in that way. I've never been, when I said I've never been anyone's man, obviously, I've had four or five relationships in my life. Yeah, and half of them were sexual, weren't they, Josh? Exactly, half of them were sexual. How are you? Certainly not the current one. But remember, you know, class is permanent, form is temporary. I'm alright, yeah, I'm good, I'm very good actually. Yesterday, so the weekend, so I got drunk on Saturday night, I mean this, I used to be able to do anything hungover, I used to be fine.

Parenting hungover is the worst. Yes. I don't know how this happened, right? So I've spent the whole week trying to do th do th do th do th do think think the the tho tho the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thou'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er'a'er'er'er'a'a'er. thoo'er, th this happened right so I've spent the whole week trying to do things to stop my daughter watching Sarah and dark and yesterday the roles were reversed and she wanted to play in the garden and I was begging her to watch TV. Just one episode can we just watch whatever and she wasn't right and I was like what's wrong with you? Oh brutal. They know, don't they? They know you're weak. They can smell it. It's not a dog. They can smell fear. I was just like, please. just watch one episode. Let me, let me watch an episode of Sarah and Duck, please. You know, my trick is, I wouldn't do it if I was solo parented, but sometimes I make the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thr- I thr-it thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thr- the. It's not the. It's not thr- thrown the. It's not th th th thi. It's not thi. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not thi. It's not thrown. It's not throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's not the. It's not the.three hours of the morning when I wake up I'm still a bit tipsy. Yeah. The morning feels pretty fun and then the afternoon really hits, but you're closer to bedtime then from a morale point of view.

I think it's the not, because parenting is something where you can't go right, let's just get this done and do it. So if I'm hung over, and I'm like, and I've got to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, to to to to to to say to say, to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. the. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tea' teck. thea' close close. thea' close. their th. their their theirthe house. I'll be right, right, I'm just gonna do this I'm gonna do it properly, as far throw myself into it. But you can't go, I'm just gonna try and blast out these four hours of parenting in an hour and a half. Yeah, you can't condense it. Yeah, you can't. Well, I find weekends, well, I find weekends, well, because I'm working in the week, because, because up both days where Lou gets up most of the week or we get up to go but it's my job to get up and but Sunday poor Lou had this

horrendous migraine which she was literally in bed all day so I got up off six with a kid and then she was still unwell this migraine until bed unt right quarter past seven she felt better to come down to but let's not get bogged down the shitterms they're their their their their th so th so that's that's that's that's that's that's th so that's their th so th so that's th so that's their their their their though though their though though though though though their their their to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. I te. I teole is. I tooe. I tooe. I tooe. I the. I was the. I soon as I'm in bed, she came down, headache came on. That's just a coincidence, isn't it? A bit worried now, because I know she listens to this. Yeah, join me on the worried because you know your partner listens to this. I've already made that mistake this episode.

But in my defense, Lou did once say to me when I had a broken ankle and I couldn't be much of the childcare. She walked into the room. I was into my foot up and I was playing at my PlayStation and she said to me, you need to get better or die. And that... So I think that's a fair 50-50 of that. But... So I was exhausted yesterday. It was a tough day yesterday. So this morning, we were both knackled, we both said, look you still not well Lou and I've got the stuff to do, let's get up together with them. So at a quarter past five

this morning the two-year-old started screaming and was up for the day. And I'm not like trying to convince her but ready for the day. I gave her the iPad, the iPad, their iPad, that, their iPad, I went back to to to to th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. the th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. Qui. Qui. their thiopiopi. thoompiopiopiopiopiopi. thoompi. thi. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Qui. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. So. So, thi. So, thi. And thi. And thiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And thene. Soe. far as I'm concerned. I gave her her iPad and let her have her iPad. I went back to bed and slept and at 8.30 in the morning the two-year-old climbed up me and said, Daddy, my eyes hurt. Because she got three hours of iPad. And I never normally let her watch that much but we were so tired. My eyes hurt. Oh, bless. So, I think she knew it, Scott. But that was, that was hard. Imagine, how can he watch that much iPad? She'd have done the Titanic before 830 a. But I, I'd feel a bit guilty. We're not normally that bad.

Normally, iPads for us were reserved for holidays or like long car journeys or stuff that was a bit out of the norm and then like an occasional treat or if one of us was ill or really hung over with a today I don't have their iPads to give us to it because for them it was such a tree but now they're on it a lot which is not great what you're going to do. I'm on my my iPad a lot. Yeah well that that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not th. I's not th. I's not th. I's not th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's not th. I's not th. I's not th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm on th. I'm on the th. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm on th. I, well that's the problem isn't it? Do you, I feel so guilty looking up my phone around her. But conversely, oh so this, this, I'm not going to name who this is, is this okay? My friend, when he, I don't know if he still does it, but he had a, like a baby that's not, obviously not conscious of what you're doing, do you know what? Okay. So let's say she's six months. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this, this, this, this, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to thi. to to to to to to to to thi. the. thi. th. thi. I, th. I, th. I six months. So when he was doing the early morning parenting, he used to have one of those apple ear buds in, just one of them. And then angle his head away so he could just listen to podcasts throughout the experience? Yes. Do you think that's acceptable?

So what was the baby doing? Just sort of sleeping? So no, no, the baby be in his arms and he'd be playing peek-a-a-in'-in, the, the their-in, the-in, so, so, so, the-in, so, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-in, so-s, so-s, so, so, so, so-s, the-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, the th-s, the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, the-in, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, thee, th-a-s, th-a-s, th-s, th-a-a-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, So no no, the baby would be in his arms and he'd be playing peekaboo with them but at the same time he'd have one of the Apple earphones in. Yeah. Handling his head so the baby can't see that he's also, you know, listening to a podcast about MBA. I think that is excellent. I think that you're doing. Do you? Yeah. So if they're sat with watching stuff. they're not, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, their, their, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so. Yeah, so. So, so. So, so. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, the baby, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. that, that, that you experience the drama of the show together they just want to be with their data snaps you've got your arm and when they're that young as well I used to listen to podcasts all the time and I walk them for miles and miles when they were new boobles but now they're like two and four I don't because it feels rude but they're they want to interact with their they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you they're not you you they're not you they're not they're not their you their you their their their to to to to to to tir ti I I I try I'm try I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll to try I'll to try I'll to to try I'm they're not they're not tele and I'm tidy it up and have one earbudding tidying up because I can do so much more tidying with a podcast on than I would without

and then I've got one ear open to hear them. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah I think that's fine. I buy that. That's a great great tip. Do you want some correspondence? Always. It's the lockdown parenting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Okay, this is under things we've bought to survive. So I'm going to send you this as a picture. The cardboard fault. Yeah, so it's a picture of a cardboard castle, right? In the corner of a room. Hi, Josh and Rob. We've bought our three boys, picture of a cardboard castle, right? Yeah, in the corner of a room.

Hi, Josh and Rob, uh, we've bought our three boys, this massive cardboard castle, but it is so big that we've had to sell the corner unit and a chair to fit it into the house. Oh, that's too much. Fuck my life, Becker and Kieran. So they've basically bought a castle they'd misjudge the size on. Yeah. And because the children don't want to get rid of it, they've had to sell their furniture to fit it into the corner of their house. I don't know if it's got enough.

Enough going for it to sell a chair and a corner unit. Exactly, yeah. Have you, do you worry about, like, have you got a lot of kids stuff up and around your house, like play stuff. Yes, we've got, I tell what we bought but it was quality, it was half price because they're normally mental money and there's the most middle class thing we've ever seen, a wobble ball, a wobble, it's like, it's like a big, look at a smiley face,

like that sort of shape, like a crescent, a half a circle tip, and they they they they they, and they, and they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a c. A. A. A, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a.aaaa, a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a!ma!a!ma!ma!a!a!a!a!a.a.a.a.a.a, ae.a, a c.a, a c.a, a, a, a, a, a. Athing. And they stand on it and wobble and they jump over it and so I've got one of them. And they loved it for about hour and a half. And now I just trip over this massive bit of wood that's too expensive to get out of the house. So what are you going to do with it? You've just got it in the house. Yeah, but I'm sure I'm just tripping over it, hoping that they'll play. I'll just just just just just just just just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. thripping just thripping just thripping just thrip thrip it over just thrip it thripping just that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I'll just just just just just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just they'll just they'll just they'll play they'll play they'll play they'll play play they'll play play they'll play play they'll play play play they'll play play they'll play they'll play they'll play they'll play they'll play they'll play thrip. I'll just just ths in our house. For example, again, I'm heading towards an argument with my wife when she listens to this. She wanted these IKEA little shelf things that screw into a wall and this other thing, and a black ball that we were gonna write and what we were gonna do to screw into a wall, something else for the kids to hang their stuff on, and I said, look not the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, that's thi, that's to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, and tho, and tho, that's, that's, some, some, I tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, theree........ thereeanananananan, thereean, together, together, together, together, wall because you may change your mind. Let's just put it there for a bit and see if they

use it. No, got screwed into a wall. Monthly, I don't like that, loads of holes in the wall. So I would suggest don't put anything into a wall until you've seen that they definitely, you know it's a long-term picture. Like that, I'm that, I that, I that, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, thus that, that, that, that, let's just just just just that, let's just just just just just just just that, let's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. No, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to make, the little IKEA kitchen. You keep bringing that up, you're so proud of building that. Yeah, but it had attachments to you and men screw it to the wall and I was like, there's absolutely no way I'm doing that. Well yeah, in case it falls on a minute, but. Yeah, but you know what, I'd prefer, I prefer to take the risk of. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers.

Up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats.. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not the. I'm not the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. toea. toe. I'm to to membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply.

Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Right. Thank you for your correspondence. Anything that you've bought that has been a disaster, we're always looking for it, or any tales of

lockdown parenting hell this is how to get in touch. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. We've got an incredible guest this week, a comedian writer, actor, professional Northern Lady as well, wouldn't you say, Josh? I'd say, genuinely, the best person ever to come out of Hull. Yeah, she, when I think of a Northern accent, I think of Lucy Beaumont, and she's the wife of John Richardson, who we had on last week, so we are cross-examining them. Like a detective duo really, isn't it, Josh? Exactly. If you heard John Richardson's story about the curry, you're about to get a witness account of it.

Yes, it'll be, all of the curry details will be explained in full. Enjoy it. Lucy Bowman, hello, hello. How are you doing? Yeah, good. Well yeah, it's a funny one, isn't it? Because I'll be honest with you, I'm really enjoying myself. But then obviously then I like, I talk to someone or I read a paper and then I'm not. But mostly, I'm all right, I could do a year of this. You could do a year. Well, the thing is I was already insane. Where are you at this moment? Right at the moment, I'm in the garage which you may know is being tending to the sort

of pub. So do you still call it the garage or the pub? Call the dog and bastard. Even the child calls it the dog and bastard. Really? Are you okay with that? Yeah? oh yeah of course yeah that's why we moved here so we'd have a child who would say a bastard at three and a half. Oh it's gonna bastard. Yeah some words sound better southern don't they? The sea word sounds better southern but I do think the B word sounds better northern.

That's a definite. Are there any still southern word she says or is it all she fully northern now? She's um, fully, she's sort of um, 50% northern and 50% Netflix. Yeah, she's like, hey guys, just heckled saying it wasn't me it was Carol Basking. I know. I'm not saying. Is that what we've talked to see? I'm getting a bit concerned about the child your race and we're doing so. I know, I know. It's because she's not at school. We're not worried about anything coming back to us yet. Oh yeah, that's a thing. They can get away more, can't they? Because I don't really care about certain things my kids say.

You just don't want them to say I'm in front of people. Yeah, that's it. How does your day work out? We've obviously spoken to John and that right? Yeah he's done a yeah I told you he's in a rotter yeah hour by hour. How did that go down? Well I'm purposely trying to to sabotage it I can't help it I just don't agree just to agree especially like the activities like that you have to do with her so like when you're roated with her you have a set activity that you do with her. Oh really? He didn't say that that the the the the the that. that. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. How tho. How tho. How tho. How tho. How thoo. How thooooo. How that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you do with her. Oh really? He didn't say that. No, he wouldn't tell you that, no. So what the activities? Forrest School. So when it's forest school, we eat marshmallows inside. It is good to have a routine. It has changed things. It really has. I do, I do recommend it. So you agree with it. You just like to disrupt it to annoy John? Yeah, basically, yeah. That's your fun. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. So. So. So, to to to to to to to to to tole. For forest. Forests. Forist. For tooist. For tooist. For tooist. to to to to to the the the the with it, you just like to disrupt it to annoy John?

Yeah, basically, yeah. That's your fun. He's smug, he thinks he's solved coronavirus by his... Are you spending more time as a family than you ever have? Oh gosh, yeah, definitely. And it's good, I don't know about you, but like, we've come like full circle so, all the little kinks of things th th th ths thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's to that's to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, thi thin, thi thin, thi thi thi thi the little kinks of things that, you know, we've had to sort of iron them out to be able to get on. That's good? Yeah, it's been good. Yeah, you've both got two them, haven't you? No, I've only got one. Oh, have you got one? Yeah, fight. There's two's a bit tougher but then someone else has got three and four and we're quite lucky and stuff but it's just it's just

they're always there because I know quality time's great but I feel like I'm just descending into time now. It's like the qualities dropped so I'm just doing time. My weekends are completely game over parenting wise. That's when I really turn on myself really. The weekends are just complete anarchy and badlam. Yeah, because people say they parent. I don't think I'm really parent. I'm just not doing any work and I'm just near my kids. I don't think it's I don't know what when the parenting bit begins. Yeah, but you talk to them. Oh yeah, I engage you mess around with them. I'm more like their mate that I am a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the, I their, I'm a their, I'm a their, I'm a their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, mess around with them but I'm more like their mate than I am a teacher but but as you said iron out kinks in like the relationship between like the three of you is

there what was it then that was a troublesome at the start of lockdown that's now been resolved any issues between you and John or I think it's clearified we do to that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that that's that's not clarified that's that's that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified to clarify to clarify to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's that's not clarified that's that's that's that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified that's not clarified isn't it? That's good to work that out. Yeah, that's a good sign, isn't it? If you're spending longer with somebody and it makes you want to be with them more, I think the problem was not seeing each other a lot. And you know that thing of when you're actually sort of passing the child between the two of you. Yeah, sort of like the thi thi's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that, so that that has been good and of course it's this is his domain, this is his thing, this social distancing, frequent hand washing and food rationing. He's been prepping, he's been one of them preppers, since puberty. He has been he has not had a germ on him since about John Major as Prime Minister really.

No, I know. You see a little positive than John was when he spoke to him, because he said he was having a bit of trouble at dinner time with the curry. He made her a corn curry with brown rice. I mean I'm tapping out of that as an adult. He never said that did he Josh. No, he said it was a lovely curry. It was a lovely curry for John. Someone who was trying to not like food. You can't expect a kid to eat that. No, so she pretended that she wanted a poo and I made a chicken dippers. Does she play off against each other then?

Does she understand the different characters? God, she's so clever. She's been doing it, yeah, she's had me particularly wrapped around it. She listens to John, he's the disciplinarian and me, I'm wrapped round a finger. I don't even realize I'm doing stuff and then before I know it, a whole Easter egg's gone and she's still in her pajamas and it's four o'clock. Are you the good cop then and John's the bad cop? Do you know what I think it is?

She sees me as like her older sister. Yeah. Like a sibling? It's hard. My wife's a bit like that with the two girls and sometimes in the morning if it's her turn to get up with him and she goes in and they're arguing and fighting and she starts shouting I can't work out which ones my wife. It sounds like they're all the same. I've got three daughters. I can't work out the voices.

Oh God, I do that out who socks are who. It's tricky in it. It's just no one can prepare you. Can they like how it changes like your relationship and your home and... Yeah. It's your home in a good state. Like John must be keeping it pretty sharp. It's all bollops. This thing about him being tidy.

Is it? He's absolutely not taddy. No, it'll line up like tins in the fridge in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in tins in the tidy. Is it? He's absolutely not tidy. No, no. It'll line up like tins in the fridge but everything else will just be and he's not clean. It doesn't hoo there or dust or anything like that. It's all, I can't believe it. People think, oh you must have a real tidy house. No, I do it all. I do it. Do everything. Because he was quite angry about the strainer in the sink. A thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap apart. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, ti, ti, toda, toda. It's toda. It's toda. It's toda. It's today, today, today, thin, thi. It's thi, thiiner in the sink. Apart from that, yeah. That's his thing, is it? Yeah, we do argue a lot about stuff like that, but I think it's really good to argue, isn't it? Yeah, I think you need it. When you hear a couple that doesn't argue, I find that very creepy. Do you know, do you know what. In lockdown that'd be ambitious though wouldn't it? You only get an hour in the park? That's what doggers will be waiting for for years.

Are you and you're watching a lot of children's TV Lucy? How bad are you with screen time or are you you tight on it or are you? I'm not no if it's something I'm enjoying. Yeah, it's just so good now. Children's TV is amazing isn't it? Just the best films. I was watching something special you know something to Mr. Tumble with Pearl and then she went up for a nap and it took me about five minutes to realize that I was still watching it. It's just on the cuspthat I was still watching it. It's just on the cusp, isn't he, Mr Tumble? Do you know what I mean? Like, I'd let her be in a room with him,

but I'd have to have the door open up so I can't hear him? I think he's our greatest physical comedian. I mean, maybe I'm overst that. But when Mr. Tumble falls over it, it absolutely gets me. I absolutely... Yeah. Have you ever, have you heard of a bloke called Jim Carey? I think you'd like him. I can't believe I'm going to accuse the woman of being stuck in the 90s, but come on, Rob. He's an amazing physical comedian. You're telling me Tumble is better than Ace Ventura. He escaped from the back end of the Rhino. That was unbelievable. I think Mr. Tumble is the closest thing we've ever had to Chaplin. And I say that as somebody who's never watched Charlie Chapplin. I've watched a lot of Mr. Tunble. That's the kind shit comics, I'm fucking right off or fuck off.

And then put magic on and then go and watch a natural comedy. Did you have any plans for things you wanted to achieve in this time, Lucy, and have you achieved them? Um, well, yeah, I'm writing a cartoon, but it's definitely not for kids. It's about a family of Welsh hamsters that think they're the Kardashians. Call the Hamdashions. What I find astonishing is I'm struggling to tidy all the cupboards in the kitchen and you're considering whether you can animate your own cartoon. I was going to say Lucy if we were still on lockdown

and for some reason that the you know John and everyone else in your house just got vanished away for a day and you had the whole house to yourself, what would you do with that day and you couldn't do any work but like you were just to relax and have a bit of self-care, what is it you'd do? I mean, so, but shall I just be honest? What I do? Be honest? I'd really have a good go on the kitchen floor, get everything out and like, you know, proper clean. Oh really? Really? Really? All the nukes and crannies, yeah. Because I'm noticing it because I'm, I'm, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the meant, I have to pretend to be a Yeti a lot at the moment. And she makes me get on the floor and pretend to be a Yeti. Yeah. You know if I'm abominable just in that film?

Yeah, and I have to go, and I'm spending so, I'm doing so much floor work, you see. I'm noticing a lot that needs doing. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, so that, so that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. Yeah, I, I. they. Yeah, I. they. they. they. they. th. th. I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. doing. Oh, okay. I see. So that would be your day's task, would be cleaning the kitchen floor. Yeah, isn't that boring? But when that's done, will you not reward yourself of like a... Oh, then I get a bottle of gin and just get really pissed and then put songs

on really loud. Do you go to this up to the pub in your garage. Is that John's domain? What I do. I don't come in here a lot. He comes in, he says I'm going to do a bit of work and then you open the door and you find him just like playing darts on his own with the bottle of weekly. So is that his office then? He's become his office? Yes, it's his office now. Yeah, weird that isn't it? So strange that that become. And I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I do I do that I do that I do that I do that I do that I do that I do that is that is that is the that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is they. Is they. Is they. Is they. Is they. Is they. Is they. Is they. Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I don't come. I th. I don't come. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I? Yeah, so strange that that becomes. And I only come in about once a year, like Christmas, and I get so drunk that I end up turning to someone and saying, we need to get a taxi home. I need to get a taxi home. Are you drinking a lot on lockdown, Lucy? Well, I'm one of them, like like I really susceptible to what people say like

on social media so if someone's like got a picture of them you know with a glass of wine then I'll want one I'm not really drinkable if everyone else is because I thought that's what we're all doing I thought we were all meant to be drinking every day. Part of the guidelines yeah but I've stopped I've stopped I've stoppedthat now, so I'm not really bothered about drinking everything. I'd rather like every six months not remember two days in the life. We've put a rule in now where what we do is we save fun stuff for the weekend. So we don't have any takeaways or any drink now during the week and then Friday, satin and Sunday we can drink all three of those days. He said like, we've got this bit th and th and th and thago th and thago th and th and tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho, I tho, I tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've that that, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I'm thr-a, I'm not thrown, I'm not thrown, I'm not thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm not thrown, I'm not thrown, I'm not thrown drink all three those days and like we've got this bit of Lego that the girls want to do and they

said can we do it and before it's like yeah let's just do it now because it got all this time but now I go now let's save it for the weekend so they thrown so the weekend so it feels so good rather than 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. I have that in that I've got drunk two Fridays in a row and it does feel like, it does feel like end of the week. When I'm working on a Friday afternoon and I know I'm hitting the pub, which is basically the sitting room. I genuinely that feeling of freedom is like nothing else. It's unbelievable. It must be so nice having that pub in your garage th. to be. to be. to be. to be a the to be. the the to be. the th. th. th. th. the thiiol. thiol. thiololololololome. thiolome. th. th. thiolol-a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. throwne. thi. thrown. must be so nice having that pub in your garage though because you can like at seven like for us like we're just sitting like the kitchen have a drink we've got our kitchen front room thing like we'll knock the wall through and it's like we're just in the

same room we've been in but like to go into a fresh room and pour a pipe it must feel like you're the pub. Lucie can you both go into the pub together when your daughter is asleep? Oh well this is it we can but we feel a bit because we tried it and we were so anxious so like he'll come in here on his own basically. And what are you doing with your evening so you finding you're kind of enjoying the fact you're together in your evenings a lot more. Yeah I mean how we do it? We just watched tell any way really changed. What we're watching, I'm really, I can't watch anything like heavy. Yeah, Rose just got that. Yeah, I can't watch anything too heavy. Because I feel like, you know, everyone has up days and down days, but I feel pretty sort of

children about it all, but then there's this really sort of, you know, the sad stories tho, but the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is really really really really their they. they. they. they's really really sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm really really really really really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I's th..... I's th. I's th.. I's really really really really sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort, you's they. their, you're they. their, you're their, you're th. th. thi. I'm, you're th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm th. I'm really, that's like an advert. One of them come on and it's completely burst into tears. Out of nowhere and I was like, oh where did that come? Because it's in there somewhere, because we're all a bit anxious, aren't we? And I was like, oh my God. So I'm like anything like that I swerve. Did you cry with the, uh, I cried with the first applause, I've done it a few times I can deal with it now. Yeah but the first applause absolutely slayed me. Yeah I felt the same. So on lockdown has there been a moment that's been like a real highlight where you've got ice is amazing we're all together or something happened and it was a little moment in time you

thought oh this is great and what had been like a low point where he thought oh I can't do this is doing my edding? Oh god I mean I I I I I I I I I this I this I this I this I this I this I this I this I this I this I this I this is I this is I this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I can't th. I can't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the. I've the. I do this. Is this doing my head in? Oh God, I mean, I have like burst like many times a day. Like it's a wash with highs and lows. I think like really sort of really spending that really like sort of focused time with my daughter's made me realize that she is, she's gonna be really weird. She's gonna be like me she looks normal but she's she's weird. She the particular highlight was when I said where we're going she said I'm just gonna go get dressed in some of my sweet Italian clothes. I was like I'm so proud I was like that's so random, I was like, that's so random, you're going to really struggle at school. But it was really heartwarming so far.

Oh, that's lovely. Oh, that's nice. So that's the positive, that one. And Lowe, probably today, actually, John is currently sulking that we didn't save him any manga. He just said, genuinely. Yeah, we went on a picnic and he just turned to me and he didn't sound angry. He just said, I just wanted to know I'm really, really upset that you didn't think of me.

Um, when you, when you, when you went that manga. Oh, you're not about it now. He was don't mess with that man's mango. He mentioned that to us as well the mango. Yeah. Wow. You're joking did it? Oh my God. That is amazing. Well, he want to, he want to wake. So we get it. So what time are you eating the mango in the morning? That's an early start with the man.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi. I thi thi that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about thi. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I thi. I thi. I the the the thi. I the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. what time are you eating the mango in the morning? That's an early start with the mango isn't it? She woke up at six this morning. I think that's the psychological difference between 5.59 and 6 a.m. is huge is the biggest there's no other, I'd say

that's far more different than the difference between like 3 o'clock and 5 o'clock in the afternoon. That one minute between five fifty nine percent. Complete day game change. What I've learned but I've never enforced it you feel so much better if you wake up before them, have a shower and you're downstairs having a coffee and then when they woke up and come down stairs you're like, yeah welcome to my world as opposed to them jumping on you. Do you know what I mean? Yeah you're you're they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. you. Do you know what I mean? Just say that I have a coffee, you're like, this is my day where when you're in bed and they go, can I get out there? Can I get you?

You're there prison bitch for the day. Yeah, because that waking up with like, mommy! That like, oh, it's likethat panic and stress, where if you're up before them, even though you're more tired, psychologically, you're in charge of the day. Oh, that's a really good idea. And once Pearl is shouting out, and she'll be shouting out for Rose, but I'll be the one that's going through. So I've, so once she's shouting out and I've, and then I go to the toil. It's the most stressful start to the day you could possibly have. You've basically got someone shouting you to hurry up having a piss and it's it's like being in a pub when someone's going to throw up in the cubicle after you. Yeah, no, you're right. And it's not when they're ill as well I've noticed that don't like, you know when the wake up coughing in the shout fiel at first. Yeah, no, that's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's. And it's the the the the the the the the the they's the they's they's they's the their. It's the the the their. It's like, their. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's the their. It's their their the the th. It's th. It's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th th th the th the fear he can't go to her he has to go to the toilet first yeah that's what the drinking and he's good I'm going I'm going yeah every time sometimes three

times and I each time he has to go this is like we that sounds like a wharf I don't get it because men like he didn't drink anything, where does it come from? I tell you how it comes from, you know when he says he's going to work in the pub bit. Yeah. Right. It's been an absolute pleasure talking to you Lucy. I'm glad you keep it well. Thank you so much.

You both sound like you're handling it. You're on the cusp, are you really on the cusp. Do th. Do th. Do th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thiiiiiii. And, thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th obviously. Do you know what? We kind of started this podcast to make ourselves feel a bit better and it's genuinely helped for me so far. Has it helped for you? I know I feel worse. Everyone's nailing it. Lucy's having the time of her life. All she wants is an hour so she can clear the kitchen on her own. I'm running around my house screaming. Lucy Beaumont, thank you very much. Thank you, Dick. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye-bye. That was the excellent Lucy Beaumont. Rob. Yes. Thoughts on currygate? I think we all know what we're thinking. Chick, pee and sweet potato. And adult would have want it, John.

Never mind a child. That is a thing, isn't it, really? That when was the first time you tried a sweet potato, Rob? You know what? I can work me way around a sweet potato fry. If you order a sweet potato fry, it's such a disappointing middle ground between it's also, is there no health and no joy. You might as I'll just go fries or go a salad. Yeah. Sweetate that is th. It is th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. It's. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's thi. Wea. It's theateateateateateateateate. thi. th fries or go a salad. Sweet potato fries is so depressing because it's not quite what you want. It's a waste of everybody's time. Yeah and also it's so crispy yet floppy and fleshy. It's an unbelievable texture

experience. It's all the dips are the only saving grace of a sweet potato fries. Oh my god. If you go bareback on a sweet potato fry, you're like a friend of mine. I'm not having that. Imagine an animal just plowed it in, no seasoning or dip. Oh. There's nothing that is healthy enough that it is worth ordering a sweet potato fry for. It's not possible to be that healthy. Do you know what I find unsetting is when you go to an old school calf and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes, the the the the. I'm, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is....e, is, is, is, is.e. I is. I is, is, is, is tree. I is, the the the the the the the the the the the together, the the the the together, I you order beans and the plates are so massive there is always just a single layer of beans?

Oh what do you want them piled up? Yeah I just find it all spread out. It's just too, it's too much area. It's not when you look at Russia on a map, you can't be a half. Do you, what is worse than that? If you order beans in a, the beans, if you, the beans, the beans, the beans, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, do, do, do, their, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, do. Oh, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, their. Oh, do, their. Oh, do, do, their. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, do, do, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. they. they. they. they. they. their. they. their. their. their. their. they. their. their. Oh, do-school calf and they don't tell you but they've actually made the beans themselves Oh, I've got to self-isolate out there for a bottle of wines you animals. That was Lucy Beaumon though. It's great to talk to her. Yeah, I love Lucy Bowman. It's great. Sorry about the rank. Thank you for listening. I thank you for lucy to luc to to to to to to to to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy to Lucy the the the the the the the the the the to Lucy the the to Lucy the th. I to th. I th. I th. I the the the the. I'll their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I thin. I was things. I was things. I'll things. things. things things. things things things things things things things. I tho thean theateateateateateat. I thank you to Lucy as well for being on the episode. She was brilliant. If you have enjoyed the show and to be honest if you've got this far and you aren't enjoying the show, what is wrong with you? If you have enjoyed the show, please give it a five-star

review on iTunes. Please subscribe. Because one week Rob's going to have a proper breakdown. You don't want to miss it. Yeah, exactly. Also as well as well we slipped down to to to to to to to the to th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob, as th. Rob, as th. Rob, as th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank you th. Thank you that, that. Thank you that. Thank you that. Thank you that. that. tha. tha. tha. tho. tho. tho. tho. the tho. th. to miss it. Exactly. Also as well we slipped down a bit. Peter Crouch turned out of a podcast, fair enough. Number three, bloody Peter Crouch. Also, with someone else coming up the rear behind us, scary looking fella, Ross Kemp. Kemp. Kemp. Please do not let us be be beaten by Kempcast. No. The first episode is an hour and a half of it, I haven't listened to it. I'm sure it's very good good good th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea' thea. thea. the the the I haven't listened to it I'm sure it's very good because he scares me. Yeah but he's talking to someone from the SAS. Change the record camp. Come on. So do give us you know all that we need to fight off the Kemp cast. We'll let you know next week whether we did manage to fight off Kemp cast later this week we'll be joined by the amazing Jonathan Ross. Oh it's a banger. thanger. Bye. Don't let us get beaten by Grand Mitchell. Hello and welcome to John Richardson and the future notes how to survive the apocalypse. I am John Richardson professional winge bag and defeatists and I am joined by the future notes who are Mark Stevenson hello. Hello. And Ed Gilesby, hello. Hello. Mark and Ed are the two notes who are Mark Stevenson, hello. Hello. Hello. And Ed Gillespie, hello. Hello.

Mark and Ed are the two experts who are invited before I make a series like Ultimate Warrior to make me look more informed and intelligent and this podcast will attempt to lay bare that entire process by proving that in fact I know nothing and they know everything. Each episode will discuss some of the problems facing our society and through an attempt to find some optimism we'll offer up some solutions as well. As my co-pilots on this journey Mark and Ed are insightful, interesting and witty people and they can tell you exactly what the future will be in five years, right guys? No, I'm not sure that's strictly true, but you know. No, I'll take it, yes, take the compliment where it's offered.

They both know more than me and frankly are of more use to society than me. However, people seem to follow me on Twitter and not them. So this podcast is an attempt to reverse that process. If I have one goal for this podcast series, it's that by the end I have three followers left and they are my wife, my neighbors, and my mom, and everyone else has realized, why wouldn't I just listen to these two in the first place?