Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP35: Chris Stark
Episode Date: August 25, 2020ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP35: Chris StarkJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and be...yond is presenter and DJ, Chris Stark. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb.
Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell.
The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my
increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.
Or hopefully not.
And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
Hello and welcome to lockdown parents in hell with... Boba Kick.
Josh Vidican.
Josh Vidican.
Ah, I like that.
There we go, absolutely nailed it.
She was sort of laughing at the end.
I love that energy.
That is Jack Goodwin, age two.
Did I say she? I thought it was a girl.
Oh no. I think a child's voice at the age of two, Rob. That's the kind of mistake you can get away with. Oh, come on, mate.
He's a girl or so.
The balls don't drop yet at two.
Come on, mate, we're hanging around for?
That is Jack Goodwin, short for Jacqueline.
No, no.
Jack Goodwin, our toddlars recently taken to assigning ownership to animate objects based, we are assuming on how much he sees the person using the thing.
So far, Daddy has been assigned to the oven, the Hoover, and the sweeping brush.
Mommy has been signed chocolate, cake and cider.
Such a great window into lives.
I swear, I can't remember his...
Catherine Ryan's daughter used to call white wine, day wine and red wine, night wine, which is a tea drinking it. Oh my lord,
imagine not no alcohol being a parent to be brutal. Oh my word. How are you, right? Yeah, I'm good
actually Rob. How are you? Not too bad. It's got calm down a little bit. It's a constant
arguing between my two that's quite frustrating that
whenever we drive anywhere, they always want houses on the side so they want to see houses,
so if it's just trees, it's boring. And then if one of them's got houses on one side of the car
and the other one hasn't, they cry because they can't see the houses, they don't actually care about, but it's a competition between them. And it, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th. And it's, th. And, th. And it's, th. And, th. And, thi, tho, tho, thee, thinks, thinks, thinks, they's they's they's they's tho, tho, tho, thoes, thoes, tho, tho, tho, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. They's th. They's th. They's th. thee, thee, thee, thee, thinks, they's they're than, they're than, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, they're they're thanks, thanks, they're th care about but it's a competition between them. Oh wow. And it gets really heated.
What a thing to be into?
And then they started looking for bungalows and then the eldest woman's, there's a bungalow,
and then I was like, that ain't a bungalow.
And the other one's going to go, but I want bungalows.
And then we're just screaming about bungal. obsessed with houses. Do you think they're going to get into property? Have you got two estate agents on your hand? Well, yeah, I mean, you should get a lot of sales covered in ASOP, wandering in like
the Queen of her castle.
But no, I don't know what it is.
It's just nonsense. It's just that they, because there's two of them, they will argue
over anything to prove the point. So whatever one one's the one's is is is is one's is one like houses but if it was trees it would have just
been trees they don't actually care it's more that they want to get one over in the other
yes I can see that we have it in the car so if we pick my daughter up from nursery so she's
it's almost like time to start bedtime when we pick her up from nursery it's like within the hour yeah and so often she's to to go the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their to their they. they. to their their their their they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're she's really tired. So when she wants to go to sleep in the car, she'll just get really angry
and she'll tell Rose will be sat in the back with her.
And she'll be like, don't look at me.
Like, don't look at me, like,
you know, like when someone's like caught doing something,
they shouldn't be doing.
My two years. Don't see me. Yeah. And then when she wakes up, she's an absolute effing nightmare.
Rock.
Said like the most middle class East London living man.
A chaffing disaster.
So does Rose always sit in the back with her on a journey?
Yes at the moment, yes.
What's the transit?
It's a bit like Brexit that, isn't it? You need a transition period, isn't there, like a new, like, like, like, like, like, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. thi, so, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, so. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. to, so. to, so. to, so. to, so. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too, so. too. too. too. too. too, so, somea. too, so, so, so, does. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to transit? What's a bit like Brexit that, isn't it? We did that for a bit. It's like you need a transition period, isn't there, like a new, some sort of new? Yeah, well, I tell you
what the problem is. So we've installed the car seat. We've got to face it forwards, but we've got to face it forwards. And every time I remember that I need to make it face forwards, the thruuuuuu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to be. to be. to make. to make. their. to make. the problem. Yeah. to make. their the problem. Yeah. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the the the the the the the the their. the the the the the the the ta. ta. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha tha tha tha tha tha the problem. we're already late for. And yes, you feel a bit mean if they're just facing the back.
But yeah, so I know I've got to change that, but it never enters my head until it's too late.
Like this is the first time I've thought about that when it's not us getting in the car.
Yes. And it's currently 10 p.m. And I'm recording a podcast and there's no fucking way that I'm going outside to do it now.
Also, I've recently bought the four, the four and I for a new car seat, but it's a bit more of like a grown-up one, right? And they went, yeah, that would have done her for years.
She'll like, she'll have that one until she's 12th. I went, what? That would fit her for 12th thee, I'd throw their a their their their their their their that her that her thather thather that will that will that will that will that will that will that's a that's a new thathea' thathern't thathern't thorough for a new their thorough for a new thorough on a new thor on a new the four their their their their on a new the four the four the four the four the four the four the four the four the four the four the four their for a new their for a new th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll throw. I'll throw. I'll thorough and I'll thorough and I'll thorough and I've thorough and I've thorough and I've thorough and I've thorough for thorough. I'll th girl in a car seat. Imagine tripping her off to year eight at Secury School in a car seat. I'd rather that will do more damage than anything
else. You can't stick a 12 year old. They can't be putting 12 year olds in car. I went on a school
buffs from the age of 11. They weren't popping us all in car seats. It's one with their school bags. I'm not going to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. That's th. That's th. That's th. I'm th. I'll th. I'm th. That's that's that's that's that's that's that will that will that will that will that will that will. That's that will. That's that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll that will. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll that. I'll the. I'll the. I'll theats. I'll thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bus? I'm not going to lie to you, it was a different time. We didn't even have seat belts.
Like...
I know, and I was just like, look, you can't put a 12-roll in that, is it?
Your whole life path will be dictated by that car seat.
You'll just be car seat kid for your whole time at school.
That'll be your life. That'll be your life life, that'll be that'll be what, I know car seat kid, how's it going? You're right?
Prime Minister, are you?
How you get to work?
Car seat?
Wanker.
It will never go.
Oh, wow.
So what age do you get rid of the car seat?
Because I don't know these things.
I don't know tho. I'm not getting bogged down by a nine-year-old car seat. Got to pick your battles.
It's awful, isn't it, when you have to take your test, but you're still in a car seat?
Going out on the first date, is he picking you up?
I'll get the car seat out of mine.
Imagine being on a day ask.
You right to clip me in?
I just got right have we got anything from our listeners
yes I've got a message on Instagram we're on Instagram if you want to follow us
follow us lockdown underscore parenting that's still one and here's this one's from Steve and he said
hello there I love the podcast my wife and I have enjoyed also as well you know it's
to hear it but I assume you love it when you're messaging. Well, that's what I assumed until that person messaged about how much of a dick
I was on the last leg. Yeah. They go, hi, Justin. I hate the podcast. I think you're funny, but
I've got an interesting story about my childhood. But I too got a coin stuck up my nose. Here we go. So my wife and I have enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've enjoyed I've the the the the the the the tho. the tho. the tho. the tho. tho. tho. tho. I've thi. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the the th. I've th. I've the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've to to to to the to the to the the to the tho the to to the to the thi thi thi thi thi, da da da da da, because of the lockdown. We were expecting a baby boy and you guys brought a great angle to showing us the struggles.
Oh God, so these poor souls were listening to it. I'm going to the children have been born in the
time that this podcast has been going on Josh, it's unbelievable. So four weeks ago,
my wife Amy gave birth to a beautiful baby boy called Albert. We have already incurred our first parenting mishap. We had misunderstood the whole elbow in the water trick for testing the temperature. We had interpreted as you
shouldn't be able to fill water on your elbow. Albert screens blue murder during
bath times, which was a concern. We decided to buy a water thermometer and run a
bath using the device. It turns out previous baths we had been running were basically an ice bucket challenge from 2012. We are able to look after Albert so please
don't report us to social services and said what's the funnest mistake you have made during parenting.
Oh that's amazing. I mean you're so worried about making stuff too hot for kids you do worry about too cold.
Yeah. I think this is a good advice really with kids. Just if there is a piece of technology that does the job,
use that. Don't all this old people that go trash your instincts. We didn't have it in our day.
But you do now. Do you know? Yeah. Did you have a sleepy head Rob. Yes. that. the second one we found it really helped. What a winner that was. What a winner! So it's like a kind of rubber ring like that goes around them, not
rubber like a foam ring, it goes around them. So we managed to get rid of the
sleeper because the baby was just so small in like that big area, it just makes
a bit more enclosed. But Alice James once, the hero of this parish, told me that his daughter Betty, they kept the sleepy
head so long that she was basically lying on it, like it was a rubber ring in a swimming
pool.
I thought you were like Ray Winston in sexy beast.
Oh, Ellis.
You've got to give up those things. It's difficult to get rid of those things. It's difficult.
I think, Josh, if anything ever happens to one of us, Ellis James should replace us.
But still we should sort of like 10% of all earnings should go to the dead man's family.
But I don't think he's not gained the listeners, has he? I'm sure he could hold on to them. I don't know. The first few admirersersers. tha. tha. tha. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. thi. th. He's th. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. to. to them. I don't know the first few weeks I think he gained a few admirers
through his work ethic as a father. I think he should do a kind of topless
charity calendar of him like doing fatherly things but in a kind of sexy manner I
think so many of our listeners would buy it so you could have him posing naked
but for a clock that says 430 a.m on on it coming. I think about Ellis a lot, you know.
And what I remember, the image I have of him is sat,
because he's sat on a window ledge, looking out,
getting a bit of sun on his face.
I'm sitting there reading going, well, this is my life now.
And me screaming, but he can't hear. It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. We. We. th. th. to to be. to to to to be. to to to to th. th. to th. to th. to to th. to th. to th. to th. thi. th. th. I the the the their. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. I. I. A. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. th. A. th. th. th. th. th. A. th. th. A. A. th. A. A. I. A. I. A. A. I. A. A. he can't hear it. It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be.
Oh dear. We should probably do our guests for this week. Yeah. Oh we should just say if you want
to get in toucest this is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.cold at UK or tweet
us at lockdown parents or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting and you can also send the stuff
PO Box 76748 London E99DW. Also thank so much getting in toub but there's a lot of people so we will get
through them all. So many great email so many great messages it's genuinely it's an
absolute pleasure to read them all. Thank you very much. Right go on. It's Chris Stark this week at it
Josh yeah he's just had a second kid. Oh this is the person we've interviewed
who's the closest to a birth having just occurred. Yes so we're very excited by this.
They've got a very it's a very interesting it's a bit of an
an Ellis dynamic really with the schedule implemented.
This is one of my favorite schedules I've ever heard in my life.
I'm still rocked by the schedule.
I'm still shook to my core about the schedule and so composed for a man of a four-week-old
baby, but he's a great bloke, it's very funny and it's really interesting. Do you know what, when what, when he's talking, he reminds me of, you know those, when they say about
a great footballer's always got more time on the ball?
Yes. He reminds me of kind of like Andrea Pelo. He's always in space telling his anecdote.
Do you know what, I think he's one of the most underrated thinkers everything at least once. So if you ask me, if you go to me now, like, what's your favorite food?
I'm like, oh, give me three days, Josh, come on.
I don't know, quite like sausages.
He would go, I thought about this.
And he brings you in.
He's bird camp, you know.
Exactly.
He could just lay it off, left right and gentlemen, it's Matthew Littis here. I tried to do an analogy of photo camp, but it would involve Scott Mills being Nicholas
and Elk and Ron Ray and it just doesn't work.
Anyway, Chris Stark.
Hello, Chris, how are you?
Boys, yes, good. Thanks for inviting me on.
I feel I should start with an apology that we've kind, I thought I'd booked you, but I'd kind of
half booked you. And then I'd sent your to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to of, I thought I'd booked you, but I'd kind of half booked you,
and then I'd sent your text going, you still good for this morning?
There's a really wanky phrase in all of this kind of media world, which is you get a booking,
especially in my case, because what happens is I get put in a lot of things as a kind of,
I don't know what you call it, like a placeholder. Pencil, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi, I thin, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, thee. thee, thee, I thee. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I'm thin, thin, thin, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And tha, tha, a placeholder. Pencil, they say pencil it in as you type it onto your phone.
Yeah, that's what they say.
They say pencil or heavy pencil right now.
I don't put heavy pencils in my phone because in my experience what happens is they then
go and but Rob Beckett.
So what's the point?
Now, the thing is Josh very kindly invited me onto this, but there's been a bit. to be a tothrow in, and I've just had a baby, so I kind of vanished for a couple of weeks. And then Josh asked
quite last minute about coming onto this, and then said, oh, I'll send an email to confirm.
Maybe the two confirmed it wasn't in the message, actually. I've just made that email. the email never came and then I got some panicky-in the the the the th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm kind, th. I'm kind, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, thi, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, th. I've, thin, thin, thr. I've, thr. I'm, thrash. thr. thrash. thr. thrash. thr. thrash, thr. thr. thrash, thr. I've, than, thicky messages this morning. So I'm stood here, like I've fired everything up
that's in front of me, this little kind of studio set up,
if you call it that, that's in my little boy's nursery.
And I'm here and I haven't got a shirt on.
So what do you wear, what talk is through your outfit,
Chris, what you got on?
It's just the easiest thing that I could have grabbed. But then it would have been more wrong. I think this is a more
appropriate way round of doing things than just wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. Oh yeah,
that would have been the worst thing to grab. The worst thing would just be trainer socks. Nothing else. Just train the shower. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's just just just just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooothis has turned into a sexy phone call more than anything.
Are you thirty? How dirty are you?
I'm not a shower either, Josh.
No, I don't, I reckon I shower one day and three at the moment due to my life.
Even in this heat? Yeah, because I'll do stuff like, I'll think I'm gonna do exercise later. Like it's just so difficult to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tho tho tho tho tho tho to to tho to to to to tho to tho tho to tho tho to tho tho to tho tho tho tho thi. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how. How, how, how, how, how, how. How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thirty, how thirty, how thi's you're you're you're you're thirty, how thirty, how thirty, how thirty, how to fit it in. I, I, I, how often do you shower, Chris? Great question and I, um, I was saying,
you didn't get, sorry, the email I was sending you beforehand, had a list of all the
questions I was asking you what you're wearing, how often you shower? I didn't even
bother to ask if there's anything that we should avoid with this, but
it's all fine, I'm sure.
Oh yeah.
No, I'm on the one in three as well, but I will say this, Josh, I'm kind of lucky in life
that I don't think my sweat smells.
Oh wow. Yeah, it's an odd one. I'm not totally convinced in my theory there. Because you don't know if it's just one of those situations where everyone else can smell it,
but obviously you're immune to your own.
Yeah.
I think it's the clothes, it's people that sweat into a tub.
If I sweat into a top, that is in the wash
or I'm gonna set fire to it.
I will never put that's what it is. It's not you. It's true though. We had a DJ at Radio 1, right, who got told by our boss. Boss has now left.
But actually had a word with the boss because the boss would walk past and was offended by how he
smelt. And it was exactly that. It wasn't it wasn't him. It was the washing that he was doing.
He didn't know how to do his wash him properly.
Oh yeah. It wouldn't, it wouldn't dry.
When it comes to ready one DJ's just been smelly, it's not the worst it's happened,
is it? Exactly. It all goes into a, all relative. I've started in the last week, I've started in the last week, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. the. the. the. thr. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to the't it? Instead when she wants to have a bath,
yeah, but because it was so hot, we like, do you want to have a shower? And she was like,
if daddy has a shower, and then we'll both have a shower. And that's how I now fit my shower
in. So I've basically got the same bath time as my daughter now. So I sometimes I have baths of them, but I will wear swimming trunks or pants. But, but I, but I, but I don't, but I don't, but I don't, but I don't, I don't, I that's, I don't, I th, I th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th. that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, that, that, that, that, that, th th that, that, th th that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th but I don't know if that's weirder than going in naked. I think that's weirder.
That's what I mean.
Because right, you've got something, you've held on something amazing here because this
is right down the line in that there is nothing wrong with it at all.
Of course, yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. But some of us, me included, think that it's a little like, there's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, thi's threat, that's threat, that's that's threaten, that's threaten, that's threats, think that it's a little like there's something in the back of your head which goes is this like, is this a bit weird, right? And it isn't, but it's just something in the
back of our heads that's doing that. So I've always avoided it. But the thing is, I think part of
the reason I've avoided it is because then it's just another bit of peace time for myself. I'm totally exempt from the activity the activity the activity the activity. the activity. I. I'm tha. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. It's th. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thee. It's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. It's just just thi. It's just, thi. I'm totally exempt from the activity,
you know, because my little girl, generally speaking,
if it's like a shower time, because she's five,
she should be with a mom.
Yeah, and so that's just another,
if I can just about make it work,
and the Xbox is on my side,
if the Xbox is on my side and there's no updates that need to be done, you know, if everyone
is on their A game, I can just about squeeze a game in without anyone know it.
Fair enough, okay.
Well, no, it's just because they got to kick girls, like my wife's girls that are just
obsessed with going, why are your bits different? Look at your bits. And they're like, oh, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, and it, and it, and it, and it just just just just just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and it, and it, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I's just, I's just, I's just, I's just, I's their, I's their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, just just just just just just, th. And, th. And, just just just just, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. run out a bubble bath that is a bleak bath it's just
too clear.
Do you know what I mean? It's not a Caribbean Sea.
Everything's on show and I just I feel because I normally just wear a pair of shorts but
anyway I don't know.
I picture you know Robin one of those Victorian bathing suits when you go.
Yeah. Yeah. Fully UV protected. Anyway Chris should ask you, well how are you getting on?
Because you've got, what's your set up now?
You've got two kids now, is that right?
I do have two, yeah.
So I recently had, I recently had a little boy, as in three weeks ago.
Wow.
How are you used to sound fine for three weeks? I'm all right. The thing is, because I've done a lot of of of of of of of of of to to to to to to to to to the to th of th of th of tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, two, two, two, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, two, two, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, tho, two, tho, two, two, tho. two, tho, two, two, two, two's the same with comedy, but I'm used to late nights and I'm used to being uncomfortable at night, you know, in
the back of a car or like huddled on a train, that sort of thing.
So actually I find the night times okay.
If I'm brutally honest about it, I quite enjoy it. So what I'll do is, yeah, it's not so so bad. So for me, I obviously love my wife very much,
but to make this work, what was happening is,
in the first week, neither of us were getting much sleep
and we're both getting in our way,
each other's way, and the baby's kind of like crying and kicking off,
and then it's, we're both waking up, and we're both tired the next day. So what we've decided to do is separate it and do shifts. So my wife is really good at just going to sleep straight away. I can't do that. I've
got to watch TV or listen to podcast, that sort of thing. So we've broken up the shifts.
But what happens now is my wife goes to the room next door and then I've got the bed to myself.
I'm there I've watched the God watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. I've watched the god. the god god god god god god god god god god god god god god f watch the god god god god god godfath. I've watched the god f. I've watched the god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god. I've watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch the god. the god. the god. the god. the god f watch the god f watch the god f watch the god father. the godfather. the godfather. the godfather. the godfather. the godfather. the godfather. the the the the the the the the the godfather. the god Scarface, I'm re-watching the entire line of duty series.
Yeah, it's fantastic. But have you slept? Well, so I stay up to about four.
What with the baby or just watching Tellu? Well, I say the babies, the baby's sleeping to be honest.
What are you doing? You're seeing this as an opportunity to catch up on some box sets?
It works on so many levels and then I go in about five in the morning and just say to Ria because the baby would just start crying and want to feed
and I'm going, can we swap? I look at, I get hero points for the fact that Ria's been able to sleep
until five in the morning. Plus I'm catching up on these amazing films and TV is like
it's unprecedented. The downside boys is I'm physically not sleeping much.
Everything's, if you imagine a scale, right?
Everything's, if you imagine a scales, right?
Everything has pros and everything has cons and my sleep
is not the priority in anything, really.
It's your blog about what's going on in the TV world, isn't it?
That's the main thing.
So what time do you go back to bed then?
If you hand over the baby, the three-week-old baby at five to your wife? So what time will you get the baby and your wife goes to bed?? I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, like, and your wife, and your wife, like, and your wife, and your wife, like, and your wife, like, like, and your wife, like, like, and your wife, like, the the their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their, their, their, their, their, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, and your wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, wife, the wife, the wife, wife, the wife, the wife goes, their wife goes, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, their wife, to bed, like 10 or something? The whole routine, because we've got a little five-year-old girl as well.
So the whole routine obviously starts around, I think, around about 8 o'clock I reckon.
Everyone's in bed at 10, and then ideally, and then what I'm finding is the baby tends
to wake up a couple of times throughout the night.
Yeah. If I've just nodded off or like feel I'm a bit tired, I'll pause the TV. And then as soon as the baby starts crying again, I'm up again.
You know, hit play, grab a bottle and then I carry on.
How is your baby sleeping through the cocaine craze murder that is being carried out by
Al Pacino and Tony Montana?
Is that affected the sleep the machine gun?
Yeah, but Rob, that's what they need need th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th.
Is that affected to sleep the machine gun? Yeah, but Rob, that's what they need to do because if they can sleep through that,
you'll never have any problems with any parties that you go to.
Yeah, that's it great. Yeah, if you have to murder someone for a cocaine deal,
your baby will sleep through.
Do you know what I mean? If they can sleep through Starface, you're sort of watching Telly nodding off, baby with a baby. Yeah?
I can't believe this is happening.
So then at 5, right, you hand over the baby, do you go back to bed?
How long are you allowed to go in bed for?
Right, now this is the genius bit.
So then at five, then at 5, so what tthe baby's fine. The baby's then woken up around about five.
I've then woken up. And instead of dealing with the baby, I then go next door to my wife and say, and say, oh, should we swap over? Now she's inheriting a baby that needs everything done to it at five in the morning.
Yeah. I look like a hero because it's five in the morning. And then I crawl into the bed next door and I try
and get like a couple of hours sleep there and then after that coffees your friend.
Okay and then you're that's your that's your hardcore sleep time that's like the power
sleep you get in there there's no interruptions there's no movies that I can physically
the syspronies right right it's way to the same way th by then I'm so knackered that I can physically
fall asleep. So it's all working, the thing is everyone's just got to figure it out for themselves,
isn't they? And that's what's working for me.
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Are you back at work, Chris?
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Everyone thinks that the radio show is obviously just like the time that you're on the
radio, but you do have to preck that.
You can't just get some more gobbit on someone and go home. You know, you've got this forms and so. Does it annoy you to that you both work in jobs that you probably both rate yourselves in,
but actually no one respects it as a real job. Yeah, 100% yeah, especially other dads because
the thing is you meet other
dads and actually it's like we have fun jobs and people want to talk about them
but no you can't really call it a job can you like I wouldn't respect either of
you two as working men.
I thought I wanted to hear my entire life. I thought I'd be working tools. I think that's the thing isn't it I think it would be a lot easier as well. As well. As well. as well. as well. as well. as well. As well. to as well. to as well as well as well as well as well as well as well as a lot. As a lot. I as a lot. I as a lot. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to their. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I their. I their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. I'm te. te. te. te. try. te. I'm. today. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the. I'mthought I'd be working towards. I think that's the thing isn't it? I think it would be a lot easier as well.
Because whenever I say I'm going upstairs to do some work like just for this, I do feel like,
it's not like I'm going to do some accounting or something. No. In the sense of, it always feels
like there's this implied mood in the room that I've organized this podcast to get out of parenting
rather than it's an actual proper job if you know what I mean.
I started doing street like online streaming on a YouTube channel playing Caller Duty,
right?
And I was doing the other day and then my wife's mom and sister come around.
I went right you're all right I've got going to do some work and then I could see them staring at me with my headphones and my controller.... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I started I started I started. I started I thi's th. I started I started I started. I started. I started. I started. I started I started I started I started I started I started I started I started I started I started I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I the the their I their I their I their their their their their th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeean's theeeeean's theean's thee an the an the an the they went, what are you doing? I went, I'm working, you're playing computer games. I said, I know,
that's my life, it's brilliant, isn't it, Teresa? It's actually disgraceful. What it is,
what we have managed to do is basically real life sleeping lions. and the beauty of that game was
always really it was an excuse to just have a sleep wasn't it? Yes, they've
turned into a game. Yeah so do you think that your daughter who's five, does
she know what you do Chris? Does she respect your job? I got I got this mad
situation yesterday right and this is one of those kind of clang
situations but for me it was amazing.
But what I will never forget is having to try and explain this to a five-year-old.
So I got a letter completely out the blue from Prince William yesterday.
And I was gobsmack, right? This thing turns up with a postage stamp from Kentington Palace,
open it up. Sure enough, this is lovely letter from Prince William, right?
And I wanted to show someone this letter,
and I didn't really want to put it on social media or anything
because I'm just gonna get a load of abuse.
So I go to, I go to Erin to try and explain this situation.
So I go, do you know what, Erin, I've just got this letter from Prince William and she couldn't have given a shit.
And that's what I thought of, like, and I'm there trying to explain why it's important and
just everything she comes back with is so right and everything she wants to know about the
royal family is so right. And it's like, it's a hard one to explain this, but I do sometimes think,
like, would I rather view life how she views it
or why am I trying to enforce my way of things to her because her way seems
way more fun and isn't it brilliant that something that obviously meant so
much to me means completely nothing to her but for all the right reasons?
So what was her reasoning that it didn't cut through in the way you'd hoped?
She said what was exactly, well she's really into this descendants? th th th this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this to to this to this to to this to this to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toin? th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thin? the. try. try. try. try. try. to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. that it didn't cut through in the way you'd hoped?
She said, well she's really into this descendants three at the moment.
She's not bothered about descendants one or two, she's bothered about descendants three.
So there's references that I don't fully understand because I've not watched the film totally.
Yeah. You have got time between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. to watch it if you want to watch it.
And she's just like, why has he sent you a letter? Very good question actually. Why has he sent me a letter? Do you know what I mean? We did an interview? It's I've never
followed up anything with a letter. Yeah, you're not getting one from me Chris.
Do you know? I'm very thankful, but I've love that. It's a nice thing to do in it. Yeah, I would like
a letter from you both afterwards. Saying thank you. Yeah, she was just, she was just,
it was complete non-interest, Josh. That was the thing. It was just complete.
Well, I think when you're that age, you don't realize that that is an unprecedented situation to happen. Do you know what I mean?
The Royal Family doesn't seem as unattainable when you're five. I mean she's not thinking, wow,
that's amazing, but I suppose the Royal Family are attempting to re-brown themselves to be more
human so they're doing stuff like that. She's not, she's not fully across it, she's not? Yeah. Appreciate, I mean, it's unbelievable that he's allowed. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not, it's not. It's not. It's not, it's not, it's not. It's not, I's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It with people where he could be a bit more vulnerable. He's aware of this sort of implications for the royal family.
With all else that's going on, having something positive coming out, it's great for the
She's only, she's only halfway through season two of the crown, isn't she?
So she doesn't really understand how the royal family developed. There's something amazing about having kids where you're both on the same team, right, and
you're just muddling through life, but you're coming at this thing from totally different
angles.
Her perception of the royal family is based on Descendants 3.
It's based on, I don't know, all the Disney films that have been out.
I don't know.
I just had this real moment, thr And there's certainly moments that at some point,
I'm sure in your life, you look back on and go,
wow, that was a really weird time.
You know, and yesterday, yesterday was one of them.
But I do, coming back to the job thing,
it's like I do actually feel like I do work quite hard.
But genuinely no one respects that, including my daughter.
You seem to be like like like like to be like like like like to be like like to be like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like that the that, including my daughter. You seem to be like pretty with it though to have a three-week-old and a five-year-old.
Has it been smooth sailing since your boy was born?
Yeah, it's all been good.
It's been a bit different for me this time around.
Like the fact I'm even talking to you guys, because when we had Erin, around about six years ago when we found out I was expecting,
I kind of didn't really want to talk about her at all. That's actually a wrong way to put it.
I really obviously wanted to talk about her, but I felt very protective of her. Yeah.
And I even found like with Radio One and stuff like that, I just, I could have people taken the piss out of me about absolutely anything. That's cool. But I just, I just, I th th th th th th th I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, didn't, didn't really really really really really, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't really really really really really th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi th really really really really really really really really really really really th, th, didn't, th, didn't, th, didn't, I didn't, I th, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I th, I th, I th, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi just, I could have people taking the piss out of me
about absolutely anything, that's cool.
But I just really felt like it's not something
I could really open up about
and allow people to have a bit of laugh with.
So I didn't really talk about the fact that I had a kid.
And I just sort of let it be something that's totally private
and completely away from absolutely everything that I do.
And then this time round, when we were having Charlie, like without going into too much,
we'd kind of had a bit of a tricky time last year and stuff like that.
And anyway, Charlie has ended up being born and we're obviously so proud, but this time
round, I don't know why. I just feel like I just want to shout about him so much
and that's why it was really interesting when you guys first invited me on
onto this podcast at first everything about it was kind of like I really
know I don't want to do it I don't really have a laugh about talking about my
my kids yeah but actually it's something I think I'm okay with now and I don't
really know why I don't totally know why that is. I don't know if you guys have
felt a pressure to talk about kids from the off or if it's just something you
haven't actually thought about and just thought I'll fuck it like you know
we're just gonna talk about being dads but I was so overly protective. I think I definitely had the same thing where I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the same th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the same th. I th. I definitely the the same the same to the same the same the same to to tot. I'm tot all tot all tot all tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot tot. tot all tot all tot all. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally. totally totally totally totally totally totally totally t I definitely had the same thing where I didn't really want to talk about it on things.
And now obviously I've done a complete 180 but...
But that's the lockdown for you, that's losing all your work during lockdown.
I don't think Rishi wanted to furlough about 9 million people, do you honest, but things changed.
No, I think, I don't know about you Rob, but like, I mean, this is just hilarious considering
I'm doing a, talking about on a parenting podcast with my name above the door, but I did
think I don't want to become one of those comedians that won't shut up about their kids.
Do you know what? Yeah. And now look at me! I think though, in comedy, as a comedian, there's sometimes a lot of hack material about your kids just because you know everyone's a lot of people have kids and it is a source of
amusement and something like that but I think that's normally just sort of not as skilled
comedians make it hacked so then it puts you off doing it but I think you can do little
bits of stand up about having kids and stuff but I found with one child that was basically
it was basically like I was just like,
it's almost not like an accessory,
but there's always, you'll just live your life
and there's a kid there, but once you have two,
your life becomes them.
And especially as they get older,
and then you're nailed down with,
you've got to be close to school,
you can't go on holiday their,, so so so so so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so................... to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. When you've got one, you just, I remember taking a six-month-old to Copenhagen with mates and we're going around at one point, it was in a bar at 9 o'clock with the baby
in the buggy, having an espresso, arson, I thought, this can't be right, can it? Is this a lot?
What I'm doing here? And then slowly and gradually you can't really help it, you know, so it's inevitable really that you don't do much else. And when you do have time on your own,
you just want to lay down and watch Scarface again. I mean, there's no energy.
But I think I felt like that. I think that's really, that's really interesting now you've just put that because I thin thin' thinnene..... that's that's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just everything's everything, th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi's everything, th. th. th. thi's just thi's just thi's just thi's really, thi's really thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's really that's really thi. that's really, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. that's that's that's really the. that's really the. that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really thi's really thi. thi. two hours sleep. But I also think because I was on radio, well I am on radio one, hopefully you still am
when this goes out.
I don't know if, I don't think it was any pressure or anything like that, but I panicked
and was a bit like, because I felt quite new still and I think I was like,
oh if you have a baby suddenly you, it's like you've changed and...
It's the young station, isn't it? It's the young called station, isn't it?
Yeah, did you feel like it wasn't young and called to be apparent?
I don't know, because so, I'm super aware that so much of our audience have kids and actually be an amazing thing to share but I just wondered
if I think especially like round the time that we found out we're expecting I
don't know like I kind of felt. Chris sorry when you were when you were when you
was first expecting how old you now so it would have been like 26 yeah
yeah because that's pretty young really like to have kids and in and you're on radio one which is a pressure to sort of be young and trendy oh my god trendy the tw. tw. the tw. to to to to tr. to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. the the to. to the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to the the they. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm try. I try. I to. I to. I to. I th. I to. I of be young and trendy as it were, oh my god, trendy.
I mean wrong, you're giving you a sound away there, man.
The thing is, Radio 1 where like there's never been anything from that side or any kind of pressure.
It's just like for me personally, I still felt quite new, I felt like it wasn't too long after I've just done that
Melecunis interview and I felt like suddenly there was a bit more like I was doing a new show on Channel 4 and
I suddenly was scared to show an actual side of me which was the most important side for fear that it could go the way of like
literally everything else which is I don't know that you seem to be like fun and young and exciting and new.
And actually, with hindsight, that was totally wrong because what's been so
refreshing this time has just been able to embrace it properly and talk
about it. And the day after Charlie was born and managed to go on the
radio. We were doing the breakfast show and I just phoned in and I'm the about you know the brilliant midwives and you know just how happy I was and it was
so liberating and it was so lovely to see all the messages from people that
come back a lot of people who said that they've struggled to have kids and
you know even just that little bit of radio kind of resonated with
them and that was that was really nice for me and so it feels very liberating doing this podcast knowing a lot of people are hearing this and and it's a very different I hate
people talking the third person but I'm gonna have to for this but it feels
like almost as a different Chris you know the fact that I look back and I
know I couldn't do anything like that then but I feel like I can do it
now. I think that's great. I think it's, you know, I definitely used to think you'd see people sharing their lives a lot. And I still do it when you see people on Instagram or
whatever, you're like, come on mate. That's a bit, you're selling your life a bit there.
But I'd always be like, no, you won't get me doing that or whatever. But actually, I think there is an element where the more you share. People the more the more the more the more the more the more the more you the more you the more you the more you the more you the more you the more the more the more you the more the more you the more th. th. th. th. the you the th. the thi the the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I the. I the. I the. I the. I thean. I thean. I thean. I the. I thean. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th's the funniest the funniest things about you are actually the most honest things about you if you know what I mean. Yeah 100% and it's just kind of admitting that to yourself
and the most interesting things about you are the most honest things about you because that's
kind of what consumes you normally. But you've got to have that you've got to have confidence and a belief and a belief that that's that's that's that that that's that's that that's the the their their their that's their their that's their their their their that's that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to be. to be. to be. to be. that's to be. that you're to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. that's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thethat's the same in anyone's life and anyone's, I don't know this is just about
being, you know, on the radio or a comedian or a presenter or whatever it is.
Yeah, to be people in other jobs that don't admit that they've got kids or something in case
they're deemed as they're not going to be as ambitious as enough or as committed to the job because they've got families. There's a pressure in all, or just like, or you, or you, or, or, or, or, or, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th... their, their, to. to. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their,. And suddenly certain things stopped, you know, I, it's definitely, and I want to talk about it isn't because I definitely, don't you play golf Rob?
I've just started, yeah. Yeah, so I really need to kind of wangle this into my life because
like Crouchy was saying the same thing, you've you thought about getting a, is there any golf courses
open from about 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. because that... Well, you could be, you could be a multi-millionaire
here, Josh of this idea alone in my opinion. What a brilliant idea that you open up the
driving range at one in the morning, fire up the lights and it's all just dads and their kids
just rocking and a little chair behind.
Yeah, on the golf cart.
Just did a little adapted golf cart with a net of a cot in it.
But I was the first one out of my group of mates to have a kid and and they were
lovely and supported, but they didn't get it. And life went on as normal for them and they would go out every the the their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. We th. We th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. t tod today today today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tho. tho. tho. th go get trashed and and for me, you know, work was getting a bit busier,
but having a baby it was it was kind of weird, they were supported, but I didn't really feel
that I could talk to most of them properly about being a dad. And now that's really different
and I feel like they're all a lot more invested and I don't know, maybe it's just that they're
a bit older and they're used to having kids around kids. they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're they're they're they're they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, they're a bit, thi, thi, thi, thi, know, I was the first. Yeah, it's awful when you go around their house and you don't realize how much of your
house is a death trap until you take around your mate's house who like there's got his
own out every weekend and there's just like ashtray there on the floor.
I'll just move that, shall I? Yeah, it's fine.
That candles are light, no problem. like a group of mates have got, we were the first ones to have kids and there's others that have got kids now. But I genuinely, I felt resentful I think, and those first maybe three to six
months, and it wasn't their fault in any way, but I'd be like, they don't come around as much, it's not
they don't come around as much, it's just that I was in all the time, and so I wasn't going out with people every weekend. And of course, it's not their responsibility to give up their social lives.
No, it's not their fault. If you look at a Saturday, right, and lads have been working through the week,
comes the weekend, yeah, obviously, my wife is getting a bit offended by the fact that she's, and she's right.
They haven't, they haven't come Like, they're not the kind of person to come sit around, have a cup of tea and hold the
baby and things like that.
Like, I'm sure they're very proud that I'm a dad, but you've got to realize that your
mates don't change the same way you do, and nor should they. No, I find that boring that boring and it's my own kid. Yeah, and I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. their the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho to to today. tho tho tho tho tho tho people's houses to kind of to do that.
Very little interest in other people's children, if none at all, if I'm brutally honest.
I'll take what surprised me is actually, and come back to what we're saying before,
is when you then have a proper conversation with your mates, if you can do it,
it's okay that they don't change, but they still sort of love you the same. And then th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're tho. tho they're they they're they they're they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. tho. to tho. to to to to to to tho. thoooooooooo. the. the. the. to thooooo. to to the. you the same. And then what's great is you then go on a stag do,
even if it's a year later, six months later,
and it's like it's never changed.
And I was so worried that all their life,
they were still doing these things,
and fun things, like just being able to go tothey're all there watching it having a curry, getting leery and actually you then meet up with them six months later, a year late, nothing's
changed, they love you just the same and then you find that actually they've been getting
on with things in their life.
And this idea that everything has stayed the same from before you had a kid, it actually isn't true. And you beat yourself up. And also, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, the, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, true. And you beat yourself up about it. And also, well, you, I think you go, oh God, I wish I could be doing that out with all
the boys and stuff, but they're, some of them that may be struggling to, you know, Conceive,
probably going, oh God, I wish I was at home with the baby like Chris is. It looks so lovely,
they're set up. So everyone is sort of worried. Yeah. I think also you've got to remember, is there any joy like that moment when the next friend
tells you they're pregnant and you realize that you are no longer alone and they're going
to suffer in silence with you as well?
It's mutual destruction.
It's that whole screwing over your mate.
Yeah.
You're getting drunk with me.
Have another one. it'll be fine.
Hey Josh, I'm writing down this idea here.
So this late night golf course.
It's brilliant. So I'm thinking like a driving range, open, open between those hours
exclusively for dads with kids, right?
And then the kid goes into, we got given one of these as a gift and I thought it was
fucking mental when I first saw it.
But it's brilliant and it's a chair that you put the kid into and then press a button
on it and it moves it in different formations so you can choose like rocking or car or things and it just moves the whole chair.
It's like something off Star Wars you know. It's the nuts and I think one of those just behind.
Yeah or just at the end of the driving range you have to try and turn it on and off with the golf ball. It could be a real challenge. Yeah, or what you do, it's a bit sick this, but you know the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the car the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the golf ball. It could be a real challenge. Yeah, or what you do, it's a bit sick this, but
you know the car, the machine, the truck thing that goes and clears all the balls on the driving
range but it's heavily fortified. Yeah, right? What happens is you load your child into that van,
it's all made safe for kids, right? So you put your child in there, someone then drives them around the golf, you know, the
driving range.
So they're clearing the balls, which is their main job, but also for some reason when kids
go into a car they fall asleep, doing that.
And then all the dads try and aim to hit the truck like they do at the driving range when
the things are clearing up the balls. Everyone wins, you know? Well, we've completely lost Josh, Chris. I don't know where he is, but thank you so much.
You've been an absolute joy, and let's get a game of golfing and we'll put it out as a podcast.
Do you like to handle it?
Yeah, we've definitely got to do this, 100%.
Also, thanks so much for having me on this.
It's genuinely been a release to talk about things in a way that I don't think I've talked about before.
So it's fun.
Fair enough. Always, and also what's quite interesting, I think, having guests back, we can,
you know, when you're talking about your kids, they're always such a different stage. Yeah, so it's not like, their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thi. thin. I's thin' thin' thin' thin' th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I I I I I's th. I I I's th. I I I's thing. I I's thing. I's thing. I's thing. I's things. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. th. to. th. th. thin. first day at work. It's always, it's an evolving situation.
So always, let's get you back on in a few months, play around a golf.
Yeah, well you know me Rob.
Like next, next time you have someone cancel, I'm ready to go.
I'm ready to go.
Always.
Always, and also Chris, we're going to go up all night. Anyway, thanks Chris so much. Oh, cheers lad. Cheers, bye bye.
Bye-bye.
Well, I think we should start by saying thank you to Chris Stark, absolutely wonderful.
And I can only apologize for my technical problems.
Well yes, but you can apologize to me in the letter that you're going to send. Say thank you. I'm very sorry. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say. to th. th. th. to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. I'm very sorry. I was desperately trying to get my computer to work again in
attempt to kind of come back into the room and but you know I thought this is podcasting
mate. It's real. And you said it'll just add texture. You text me went off like computers
broke just like it'll add text to me coming back. It just sort of peated out. But it's fine though, isn't it. It's just a great episode I think. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, I's like, I's like, I'll just just just just just like, I'll just just like, I'll just just. It's about the stuff like that happens, Josh. But it was a great episode I think. It's very open and on this. We should get more vulnerable people
that haven't slept all night and ask him to a podcast at 9 a.m.
Exactly. What I love about this show is you can swing from the absolute absurdity of someone
watching Scarface at 2 a am to 10 minutes later discussing what it means to 10 minutes later discussing like what it means to them to be a parent and whether they're
willing to admit that to the world. Do you know what I mean? It's bad isn't it? Chris is a brilliant
broadcaster and you know obviously I don't listen to radio on because I'm 37. But I thought
Radio Unloved when it started employing parents if I'm honest I think they should be. Don't you think they're the true. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't, the hooking is, yeah, it was really sweet actually,
because it's weird, because what I find interesting
when we talk to people is like, you have certain people
that you think may be a bit more serious than others and stuff,
and Chris Stark always had down as, you know,
and he was really funny and silly and stuff,
but also, it really showed how much it means to be that we can chat about that and they sometimes be a little bit more poignant than it is and just
I had shit on my head from my kid which is funny it does happen but not every episode can be that
exactly not everyone can have shit on their face that's what I'm saying not everyone can have
shit on their face that is the first rule of comedy and I should say to our listeners do you
have had shit on your face if you have either shit on your face. If you have either shit on your face or you want to wade into the what should I wear in the bath of my children debate?
Yes. Is Rob Beckett approved? Yeah, I just I don't know what's right anymore. Do you know what I don't know?
I don't know what's right anymore. It's 2020. I don't know whether I can show my daughter on my knob. I don't know. Can I show children my dick? Yes or no. thin' I th th th th th th their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that their th. th. th. th. that that is th th th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th th. Is th th th th th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is that that. Is that. Is that that that that that the. Is that the the that that the that that the the the that the the the the the. Is the. It has to be your children, Rob. Implicitly, it's only your children.
Even if it is your own children, you can't just show them your dick.
If your dick's out because you're having a pisser and you're the shower, fine.
Even if they're at my own children, I'm not allowed to show them my dick.
That's a role, surely. But even in the new normal, in the the the mad, in the mad, in the th, in th, in th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their. their, is th, is th, is th. thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi.. thi. their, is their their their thooooooooooomooomoomorrow, is thoooooo. thoooooooo. their, is thi. It's th going to have to put my hand on and go I'm not happy
with it. You can't, you can't, in the new normal post-coved you can't do Dick out to
help out, you can't do that right. Dishy Rishi, Dick's out all around, Dick's out
off Bryce, let's go. It's a new normal. Thank you to Chris. Obviously he features on the Scott Mills show on Radio 1 and also on the most popular
podcast in the world, the Peter Crouch podcast.
I think Joe Rogan and Rosie Ramsey had something's about sad that way. Yeah, I don't know if they're
today. There'll be a strange duo to bump into. Yeah, Rogan's just text Rosie.
If not heard you never guess what Widdicum said about start. Yeah sure they're top three but
they're not the big dogs are they? Do you think we should start going on other people's podcast to just talk about ours the whole time? If they want to like the off-menu one, the food
want to go for breakfast I'd have to have cocoa pops because my daughter loves them.
Just always bring it back around that's what we should do whenever we do about someone as a podcast. I'd love to hear you getting stoned with Joe Rogan
and discussing whether you should be a libertarian.
Oh yeah, anti-masker. That's what I've said about.
Talking about how the man doesn't understand firearms laws. Yeah, exactly. The NRA do a lot of good work for charity.
Oh, yeah, exactly. Do a lot of deep cut for anyone that just listens for a bit apparent.
Oh no, David Tennant started doing a podcast.
Fuck sake, we're up against Doctoroo now.
No, it's his second series.
Oh, really? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. No, I didn't think I had a first one to, honestly.
And if he wants to come on and promote it, David Tins got four kids.
Yes, get him on. I tell you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to,'s got four kids. Yes, get him on! I tell you, well, you've got to start reviewing us again,
because that's why we need to reviews people,
and we need you to rate us, because at the moment,
number one in the charts is the good, the bad, and the rugby,
which I can only imagine is a pile of shit. You know, Rob, if you want to call it shit, you can call it shit, mate. Oh yeah,
well I've called it shit, I know now, so I'll have to just deal with that. I'm sure it's
fine if you're like rugby, but I don't. So I, you know, but sometimes we haven't given enough time to a sport, you can start,
you can fall in love with it.
So, you know, yeah, let's get tindle on.
That'd be good, wouldn't it?
Haskell, tindle, pain, we'll see you there.
Thank you for listening.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
We will be back on Friday. day where we'll be going through all of your correspondence. Shit on your face, shorts on your body, that kind of thing.
Bye.
Bye.