Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP55: Carl Donnelly

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP55: Carl Donnelly Joining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and ...beyond is the brilliant comedian and writer, Carl Donnelly .Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.
Starting point is 00:00:27 The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbeckin. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. And to make a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation,
Starting point is 00:01:15 and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckettie? Can you say Josh Widicke? Can you say Josh Beckett? Can you say Josh Whitticken? What were the extra sound effects there?
Starting point is 00:01:48 Well, that was obviously the TV on in the background so I've got much respect for that family. But, no, but growing up, the tenny was never off in our house. Same hair, same hair. I remember I went down to visit my mom and dad once, and theynis was never off in our house. Same hair. Same hair. I remember I went down to visit my mom and dad once. And they like, we were all sitting chatting. And I was like, yeah, and he had the control out as we're talking. And I went, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:02:13 I'm just putting something on. I went, yeah, but it you going to put on? Is it something that you want to show me? It went, no, just Reggie Yates in China. Why would you want Reggie Yates in China just on in the background for that background noise? It's insane. I just don't get it. And they've got a sound bar, so if ever I stay there, I can never turn the tele on. It's either tell you on and silent or tell you off and loud. But who was that? Who was that? I'm sorry, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Sarah Smith has sent this in. This is my two-year-old Charlotte with her older brother Jacob, who's five butting in. Thank you. Oh, yeah, we used to have the'd be nothing on and my mom would say, shall we turn it off and have a chat? And I think, you sick, oh. What? Also, do you know what? I think that's why it put pressure on your anecdotes growing up.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Because like, if my mom and dad have got only falls and horses on, and I'll go, I'll go and then, they'll leave only falls and also. And then it's like, you, you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they, they, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. tho. thinks he might be more funny and interested than John Sullivan. Off you go. And then it's, oh God, it better be good. Do you mean, rather like, just silence? Everything's interested in silence. If it was rock and chips, I think you were funny than John Cullin. A rock and chips. Oh, proper hard, quality of false and all fans present to pretend that didn't exist. You know, sorry to everyone involved in that, but I just couldn't. You can't do it about Del Boy. For me, only fools and horses ends in December 1996 with the millionaire becoming episodes. Everything after that. It's itchie, it. Yeah. I'm feeling itchy thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:04:00 I just, it was such a perfect ending. Such a perfect ending. Yeah, well some said that about you know the 2012 Olympics, but you know people carried on going didn't they making shows? I have you know it was the Paralympics. Oh, you've done me? Oh, you've done me? Oh, you've done me? Should I tell you about my week or do you want to tell me about your week? Do you want to tell me about your week? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do to to to hear to hear about it? Do the week? Do to to the week? Do to to the week? Do the week? Do to to to the week? Do to to to to their to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. te? te? te? te. te. te. tea? tell? tell? te. tell? tell. tell? tell. their their their their tell? tell me about your week? I'll hear about my week, what did I do? No, you tell us your week, come on. I stopped by telling you about today, Rob. So I discovered a larger playground in Victoria Park, which is not the part. How have you only just found it? Well no, I knew it was the hair, but I always thought it was too old and so we gave it a go because she's now three. Too old as in archaic and falling apart or too old for your daughter? I said too old for my daughter but since you say that 50% of the rides are behind fencing
Starting point is 00:04:54 getting a refurbed at the moment. Oh, there's nothing sad. It's got it's got three big slides, like not like the slides where you climb up a ladder and go down. Like, kind of, you know the kind of mega slides where you have to like go up some stairs? Oh yeah, the ones where like, it's basically the first part of your life. It's almost, it's like uni for a toddlar. They're all up there with all their new mates, just throwing themselves off. So I didn't realize quite the impact of these slides. So we went up to the first one. I was like, it's kind of done, they built it onto a hill, really.
Starting point is 00:05:30 So you go up to this up the hill. And then she went down the slide at what I can only describe as a breakneck speed. And then I kind of went down the steps to meet her at the bottom and saw that I'd missed the first time a sign saying seven year old or above. Seven! Really? She's three? Yeah, three. Seven.
Starting point is 00:05:52 No wonder you could fit out there. that's fine. That's true. So we weren't. She loved it. We went down the big one with her on my lap a couple of times that went well because I thought that's fine. Middle ground 37 plus 40 in fact so and then we went back today. Yeah and it had it rained and it was going very fast and then it stopped just after the rain
Starting point is 00:06:22 it got like claggy and people couldn't even get down the big one. They were having to shuffle down the slide. Oh too wet. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. that's that's th. that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theee. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thi. thi after the rain. It got like claggy and people couldn't even get down the big one. They were having to shuffle down the slide. Oh, too wet, too wet. Yeah. So today we get there, there's a couple of kids struggling to get down the big slide after another rainstorm, right? Yeah. And I'm't know what happened,
Starting point is 00:06:47 Rob, but whatever I was wearing meant that I had a very different resistance to everyone else that had been on that slide. Was he had a big brown sack? So I was in a pair of jeans, right? And so they hadn't even reached the flat bit at the bottom. They just had to get off at the bottom. The flat bit. I just send you a photo of the bottom and you can see my skid through the sandy water. We can stick this up on the instar. So bear in mind, where it starts to level out, no one had ever made any progress of
Starting point is 00:07:21 that. And you can now see the skid of my ass in this photo I'm about to send you. Oh my, is that your ass? That's my a thus going the whole way down. And I got the wettest, sandiest dais I've ever had in my life. Like properly wet through. That is a steep, it's like a Soviet Russian slide. Yeah, exactly. Do you said built into a hill. It's built into like a concrete bunker. That doesn't look like a fun place to go. So and she made me do it again. So I did it again. So I did it again. So I did it again. to go on the way down? Yeah, we just flew down again. But I was just like, of course, because we were going probably probably I don't want to overestimate 80 miles an hour.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I was like oh God the fear though I put the two-year-old on my shoulders earlier and you know when you put them up and then they move a bit and I nearly went and I was like and I just walking along I got gently fell from like you know I'm not a massive man but it's still five foot eight it's too high to to to to to to the on the on to the on the on the on the on to the on the on the the on the shoulder the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I don't they. I they. I don't th. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm they. I'm they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I'm just th. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. tole. tole. tttttole. ttttole. tte. tole. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm know, I'm not a massive man, but it's still 5 foot 8 is too higher to fall from. I don't like the on-the-shoulder walk. No? I haven't got enough confidence, despite the fact that I haven't fallen over. I'm going to have shoulders.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I'm going to have got to have shoulders. I'm going to have fall over. Do you know what I mean? I've never thought about falling over. I've thought about dropping it but not me tripping, but that is a. I would be not. That is a true, that yeah, that is a concern, isn't it? The trip.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Yeah, the trip. I've never never never I've never. I've never. I've really. I've really. It's really. It's really. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really th. It's really th. It's really. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. theee. th. th. theeea. th. theea. th. theea. th. tho. tho. tho. too old. They're just banding that number around to cover themselves. I'm fully aware of that. I understand Hackney Council. We get it. Understand. Do you want to hear about my week, Josh? Oh, yeah, I was just going to tell you I was almost salty with someone.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Oh, tell bringing something on a drone. They do it in every show. And I'm just going to go on, and Alex Brooke has been on the day before. Yeah. And I'm literally just about to go on. I haven't done a TV show in probably three months. And so you're slightly nervous. And he goes, your mate was good yesterday. And I was, oh, I was very close to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. that that that that that that that that that that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th Oh, and I was, I was very close to telling him to fuck off. I think you should.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I just, I just walked away. I just ignored it and walked away. I would have said, well, you better be good at that drone. And we're getting other fat virgins are coming and do your job, you loser. Too fair, drone operators are like rock and roll stars, because they're basically people that have mastered it before it became a job. And now they're like, I am rolling in the money here because all the TV shows want it and I'm the only one that can do it.
Starting point is 00:10:19 He wasn't aware that maybe you shouldn't get in someone's head before they go on. Yeah, I mean, I doubt if you were even doing drones at the boxing, he'd say to Auntie Joshua, I saw Tyson Fury in sparring. You're gonna punch in. You're good at fighting. Did you give him evils? What did you do? I just sort of laugh it off? I just walked off.
Starting point is 00:10:43 I think in the future, you should tell them to fuck off but try and do it in a jokey way. Do you think? They'll love it and then he's got a good anecdote there because he's giving you a bit of banter they're a bit a bit blokey some of the drone guys I've noticed and you could just go to tell you what mate why don't you in that drone the thrown thw I thu I th I th I th I thuu I thu thu th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu to to to they're to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thu thu try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try to try to try to try to they they they they laughing his face and woke off. Because I've been walking down the street and I get a drone in the head. Two weeks down the line. Oh, can you imagine, I tell you what though, you do not want to be a bald man in TV now with drones, do you? There's no escape? Is there? We're going to do a drone shot here? You what? What does Possible sound like for your business?
Starting point is 00:11:26 It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit Amex.C.A.S. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for $0 to $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $0.00. to spend spend. I to spend. I's. I's. I's. to spend to spend to spend to spend. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's is is is to to to to spend. It's is is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and
Starting point is 00:11:45 Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for $9 for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to to be to be to be. to be. to be. tooer. tooer. to to be. to be. to be. the the to be. tooer. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And, to. And, to. And, toe. And, toe. And, t. And, t. And, too. And, too.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. And, t. And, toe. And, toe. Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. I had another incident at a TV show. Oh yeah. In fact, this relates back to something we've done.
Starting point is 00:12:16 So we've talked before about me having not box rest trainers on TV. Yes, you're known for being a bit. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be able to be to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able as well. Mom and Dad like to call it, soapy, dirty, looks like it needs a wash. Yeah, I wouldn't see you're known for that. I wouldn't go banding that around like that. It's been said. It's been said, yeah. Last time went around there, during Reggie Yates in China, your appearance did prop up. Say what you will about Reggie Yates, but you can you thia you thiainers. That guy, even in Beijing, his trainers are absolutely pristine white. So I had to do, for the different TV show, right?
Starting point is 00:12:56 But I realized that I haven't bought any trainers in six months, because I haven't had any reason. All of my trainers were fucked except one pair of new trainers. I had at the back of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theathing theathing theathing theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate. the. I've theateateateate. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the of my trainers were fucked except one pair of new trainers. I had at the back of the thing that I'd worn once and then I wore them, went outside, came back in them, I'd stepped in dog shit Rob. Okay. And I had no other option of trainers and I was leaving at that point. So you took dog shit trainers? the bagged them up, took them to the dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog the the their to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. I. I, the. I's, too. I'm, too. I'm, too. I'm, too. I'm, too, thea, thea, their, their, their, their, their, trainers? In a bag, but I thought I'll, I will clean it myself when I get there. I'm not going to make anyone else clean that. So I bagged them up, took them to Pinewood Studios and I was like, I'll clean them. So you're arriving at the TV she knows with dog poo bag. Yeah, with dog poo bag. And Inco does, yeah, but I need something to clean my trainers because I can't, I can't make someone else do this. So I'm doing, I can say, is what I lied to you. It's quite, it's a very popular TV show and I'm crouched
Starting point is 00:13:53 over the sink in my dressing room, cleaning dog shit off their, wearing two. It feels like you're just getting shit off these shoes. You should have that would have been a great one. So anyway, she gives me those plastic medical gloves you'd wear. You know what I mean? That dentists wear. People are so worried about COVID and stuff that. I think people like don't care about dog shit as much. Well, the good thing is, because people are so worried about COVID. You've got all the stuff you need th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho the the tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho tho tho tho that that that that to to to to to toea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-a. I'm th. I th people like don't care about dog shit as much. Well the good thing is because people are so worried about COVID, you've got all the stuff you need to clean dog shit off.
Starting point is 00:14:27 They've got all the PPE you need when you bring dog shit. So anyway, clean the dog shit off the shoes, delighted with myself, take the gloves off, go to makeup, put on the makeup, I'm thinking absolutely, smash this out, walk back into my dressing room, realized I had thrown in my haste to get to makeup and throwing off the gloves I'd put them on my phone. Oh no. And my phone was like wet with the dog shit gloves Rob. Yeah. You can't clean them because the gloves are on them and they're dirty. The gloves are on the phone and the gloves are dead. Because it'll never end.
Starting point is 00:15:08 It'll always be something to clean. Exactly. Oh dear, you've had a right all week, Josh. I don't have a week. How do you have a week? Well, I'll tell you about my week maybe on Friday. So because I've got a couple of Instagram things from the listeners. Should we do that?
Starting point is 00:15:26 Well, you know people talk about the kid saying the wrong things with pronunciation? This one from Carly Steele. My two-year-old got a playmobil castle for his birthday. It was only then we realized he couldn't say castle and called it his asshole, inviting everyone to come and play with my asshole. It made for a very interesting birthday party. The implication of that is that they did play this asshole. It made for an interesting birthday part. Because they took him up on that offer and they went for the arso. There there.
Starting point is 00:15:56 There we go. Oh, this one. I don't know. This is Joey Ireland. . . Thank you...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... the last few months. It's been very entertaining. Despite the clear hell of parenting in lockdown you've portrayed sometimes. I find myself newly pregnant with our first. The world of books and apps is somewhat
Starting point is 00:16:13 overwhelming right now. Can you recommend a good book for first time dad? Yes. I've got a good one. The Governor Lenny McLean. One of the most underrated autobiographies you'll ever read. What are you going to reckon? I think the best parenting book I've read is the Philip of Perry book, which is called something like the book you wish your parents had read or something like that. It's absolutely brilliant and I would highly recommend it. There won't be loads of use initially. Yeah, but when your daughter is bullying you to go on a unsuitable slide twice in a row, you'll know exactly what to do in
Starting point is 00:16:50 order for that to not happen. So you've used it really well I think Josh in your life. Honestly, she'll grow up a very well-adjusted person is just her dad will have a consistently wet sandy ass. And constantly panicking about tripping up. Also, I should mention this, my two daughters, right, you know, we've got this like microphone thing that plays songs, you press a button it plays songs, press a button as applause, you can record yourself, you can record, like little voices, little voices on it, right? Anyway, so there was... Really not turning them into yourself. Well, they're playing with it. Really, they're playing with. Well. Well. Well. Well. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I their their their their their their their their, we're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We've th. We've th th. We're th, we're the microphone. We' the microphone. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We've th. We've this, we've this, we've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've the. We've got the. We've got the. We've got the. We've got the. We've got the. We've got the. We've got this, we've got this,'s basically to sing right yeah they don't sing with it I walk past every day they just take turns holding it and talking about their day so they're essentially just doing little stand-up since they go like and then I went to heave a castle but they say where they went like
Starting point is 00:17:44 is a punchline amazing very young went, like it's a punchline. Amazing. Very young to realize it's mainly about rhythm. Well, yeah, there's no jokes there, but all the other stuff's there. But that's weird. I've never seen kids. Rob, we've both seen acts that have got away with that kind of shit for years, also what's weird is like, normal kids normal kids sing, don't know? That's an interesting, I was thinking about this the other day. Do they know what you do for a living and understand it? Not really, because everyone's on screens.
Starting point is 00:18:11 It's not that exciting to be on a tele, and they're too young to understand it's a TV show or something. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. They're not going, that's a great good show to get them. Also I've got a confession Josh. Yeah. I've started wearing female ug slippers. Oh my word. It's the comfiest my feet have ever been. What's the difference between a female ugslipper and a male uxlipper? Just comfy?
Starting point is 00:18:38 Size normally. No, basically I'll explain. Lou's got these ug slippers, yeah. So I've been wearing her her herthat like size six or something, right? But like, ramming my feet in and she's been getting the ump with me for stretching them. So she bought me a pair, but they only do women's up to size eight. Oh, I've had to squeeze them into an eight, but they do stretch, but it's so comfy, but the women's have got like his nice cuff. You got the boot or have you got the... No, no, it's backless.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Oh, it's backless. So it's like a, it's sort of, and it's got a cuff. It's quite sex, I feel quite, I've always, yeah, I've always been quite jealous of women's clothes. Yeah? What would you dress up? No just the options. I'll just legins in a big t-shirt probably. Just sound so comfy, doesn't it? Anyway, but yeah, that's one new thing I'm into is women's slippers. I think, do you know what? I think you can get away with leggings and a big t-shirt and some
Starting point is 00:19:37 backless slippers. Well, yeah, I just think they make men's slippers too bloke. You just like a little grand-dad soldier. Do a Photoshop or something, draw a picture and send it into us of Rob dressed in his in his hungover women's clothes. Okay Josh we better wrap this up because people want to hear from our guests but on Friday we're gonna be talking about my week which was quite stressful had the kids of four nights in a row. I deal on my own so I'll explain about that and we'll talk about lockdown because we'll
Starting point is 00:20:06 know more than what's happening with it now because it's sort of going back and forwards kids are in school we think thank God but we'll talk about lockdown and my week of having the kids on my own for four nights and we've got lots of emails from you yes if you want to get in touc this is how email us hello at lockdown parenting.coad.uk or tweet us at lockdown parents or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting and you can also send us stuff PO box 76748 London E99 DW. Okay Rob who we got today we have got we have got Carl Donnelly, excellent comedian.
Starting point is 00:20:45 One of the best comics of the circuit, he's also done Mock the Week and a number of other television shows and he is, he's quite interesting, really, he's his first time dad and he's, what, was it three, four months, or five months? Four months, five months when we did thank you for coming on the show. Hey mate, how you doing? Yeah, good. Rob, I should say, before you turned up in the interview, Carl said that he's been too guilty to play golf and I thought, that makes, that puts you in a very difficult position.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Oh, really? You felt too guilty to pay golf? Well not, mean I basically what happened was so we had a baby almost five months ago, first couple of months when you know I actually was relatively, I was playing too regular to have a two month old baby. How often would you play? Well no, I was sort of playing once a week which isn't that often but you know it's a take so long, it's a full day out when you've got a brand new baby. And I was aware that, but my wife was really insistent, and it would be nice, you go and do that. You know, you go see your friends. And then, and basically what's happened in the last six weeks is just out of the blue, my wife's old, one of the old job she used to do, called him and to, and to, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, to, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to do, called him, was sort of desperate for her to help out because they had a really busy period and it could all be done from home.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And so she's been working full-time from home the last six weeks. So I've been you know doing the all with a lion's share of the daytime baby care and you know the odd times I can be like look can you just have her in the afternoon just next to you just messing around and I've got the the to the to to the to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their. I's their. I's their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teoooesuoesu. I's te. I'll today. I'll today. I'll today. I'll today's toe. I'll they. I'll the just next to you just messing around and I've got something else to do but I couldn't say can I go out for a you know basically a nine hour hour out to him with my friends. Especially because you live in tack you live a bit further into town than me so like even for me it's four hours when you're there about half an hour before you have to leave I played the other day there seven and a half hour so that's so so so so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that the th I the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I tho tho tho thooo that's that's that's thou that's thoooooooooooo can can can't that's tho that's tho played the other day as a 45 minute drive I was at the house seven and a half hours that's a 45 minute drive you've a hit a really long way there am I right? Oh yeah golf banter.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Gold banter I can be all right you know I can be fun on the honestly golf banter the old men have at golf courses they think the hilarious it's shocking it shouldn't we really to shine a light light the the the the the the the the the the the the the golf courses they think the hilarious it's shocking. It shouldn't we really shine a light on it it's awful. Yeah I like you know the sort of golf terminology the sort of modern ones are really bad. Somebody like who is it I think it's John Robbins I was playing with and he referred to a shot as a Sally Gunnle and what's that mean he goes a bit of a runner. It's like, oh come on mate. You're 28 years out of date. That's really that's when all these terms. That's one of the newer golf terms as well.
Starting point is 00:23:31 That's one of the new bit of a banter. Brother really broke through after the Barcelona Olympics. So you got a bit of a Linford, hey? Oh, that Colin Jackson, that would have kept jumping up over the bunker. So you've got a five-fold baby, Carl, and you're basically your sort of full-time parent at home while you're a partner's or what? Is it wife? At the minute, yeah, and she is a wife.
Starting point is 00:23:57 And she's, you know, she's working from home because that's why most people are, but she is only basically in the other room but I try and not interrupt as much as I can you know but she's still being fully breastfed so every couple of hours I have to like sort of bring her in and go like can you feed her and then I'll take her away and entertain her for the rest of the afternoon. Do you find it fun to entertain a five-month-old? I've been loving it but in terms of timing of chatting about it, basically yesterday, we got warned by some friends who've got a similar age, you know, we've got NCT friends, I don't know if you've done if you did NCT. Yeah, we didn't really. I've never been in a more underpowered
Starting point is 00:24:37 and quicker dying WhatsApp group in my life. I don't know if you, even if you saw it on, I put it on social media, but I had the thing that I feared the most, which was I sent a message to the wrong group. And it was a message that was meant for three comedian mates and I sent it to my NCT group. What did you say? It was a voice memo where free, I mean a group of three of my closest comedian mates. It's very sort of bansery I suppose but they always they've been winding me up about having new friends in NCT and so I left a voice memos that I sent to my comedian mates
Starting point is 00:25:12 sort of saying no they're not you know they're just yeah there's people I'm friends because we've all got kids you know it's not like and I said there's only one couple that are actually what I was doing, they're actually all the couples were really nice, but I just spent that afternoon with, and we know we see we see them all regularly, they're all lovely, but that afternoon we'd spent with one couple in particular who we sort of, I suppose we've got the most similar lives to and um and my mates had been winding me up about hanging out of all these new parents. So I was trying to be sort of laddy and be like, no, they're not even real friends. And basically I sent that voice memo to the NCT group.
Starting point is 00:25:50 So what did they say on the group? Well I deleted it. Well I deleted it because one of the dads called me having heard it and to the dad. You've sent that to the Ncet group. Oh my God. He saved the day because I think I deleted it and to this day no one else has mentioned it. But I've read them. He's the cool dad. He's the one I get on with the most. I think they may have mentioned it in the new group they formed after that. What I'm saying was, but we got warned by some of the other people in our NC2 group that apparently between four and five months there can be a shift, a developmental shift,
Starting point is 00:26:30 there's a sleep. Yeah, that, and we've sort of sort of got away with it a bit and then the last two days she's been, quite frankly, a nightmare. You edited yourself in. I did, because like she is just, she's so hard to, like, normally I can entertain her quite easily now I've got. What's your Wonderwall? What's your big hit? Well, weirdly, it's getting the guitar out. She loves just sitting out watching the guitar because I suppose she's, I suppose
Starting point is 00:26:55 she can, you know, it's sort of a lot going on. But she can hear music but she can see stuff happening as well. Sometimes I do have to wear a turquoise cowboy hat which I don't know if that's something she's grown to like. So you're now basically a country and western singer is what you're trying to tell us. Once lockdown fully ends, I'm going to be a musical comedian. And yeah she's just, the last few days of none of my tools are working. She gets so bored so quick. I'm talking two minutes of one thing and then she's like right next. Oh God. It's like a middle-aged king. And is she sleeping all right? She is. Well she is but we're doing it a bit weird.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Me and my wife are both sort of hippie-ish. So she's still a hundred percent breastfed. So she I mean she naturally waits up more regularly for feeds and like we, we're co-sleeping so she's in the bed with us still. Okay yeah what's the line up in the bed? She in the middle? Yeah she yeah she no we put her down the bottom across the bottom of our feet. But are you worried about rolling on to her? Well no because we're pretty we've read a lot about, because we're pretty safe. We've read a lot about it when we were when she was due. And one of the theories is co-sleeping is quite good
Starting point is 00:28:12 for the first six months to sort of make them feel comfortable and not get any attachment issues and things. So we just thought we'll try it, but we did it for a few nights early doors to check the safety and realize we're both both th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th.......... thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, theean, thean, the the thean, thean, to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the, few nights early doors to check the safety and realize we're both pretty safe sleep. I think you sleep slightly lighter just because you're aware there. Yeah. Is it nice there? That must be quite kind of bonding, right? That's lovely. Like it's really nice. You know, obviously sometimes you're woken up by a baby that's crying, but sometimes she, you know, she'll just wake up and she, yeah, that's just she, yeah, also you don't have to get out of bed to do something, which I think is, weirdly it ties in with my laziness really well. Because the cot, you suppose, if they are in a cot, it's supposed to be in the bedroom with you for the first six months, anyway, they say, don't they? So like, it's only just, like a different position in it. But so you say, you, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, weirdly, weirdly, it, weirdly, weirdly, it, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, weirdly, it's, weirdly, tie, weirdly, tie, weirdly, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, it's, it, it, it, it doing, would you say the last five months, there's been a little bit alternative
Starting point is 00:29:05 to what would be sort of more of a, not, not, nor. Let's see this as a companion piece for the Russell Cain podcast. Why what's Russell? Is Russell where he was training? Yeah, really. He got out to go. I think you're not cut from the same cloth I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to say. Russell Kane got his kid to sleep through the night before it was born, right?
Starting point is 00:29:33 It weren't even kicking in the womb. He's just very militant with it and and her talked to the other. Russell's so chilled with everything else, such a laid back so. Yeah. So I'm trying to think what other hippie things we do. So we're no dummies. No dummies. We've been doing. What else have we been doing? There's loads of stuff. I've forgotten all of it.
Starting point is 00:29:53 We've not been using a pram. Oh, it's all been carried. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. We've got pram. I've to have a of times early doors, but I just much prefer having her in the carrier. Yeah, do you find that you said she's getting bored and stuff but I found either the carrier
Starting point is 00:30:10 or like buggies facing forward when they're a bit older. They love that, they love that because they can just sort of see the world and see what's I just find I don't know I it's more I'd say this one is more for me but it's I just like I find that the the hand freedom of just having a having the baby in his chest you can just do what you want yeah yeah exactly no that's nice because I've got a very low body temperature like or high whatever I'm very like I'm very like a. I never need to wear a coat I I'm to to to to to to to the to wear a to to the to to wear a to the to to the to the to to the to the to the the to to to the to the the to to to the the the to to to to the the the the to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. I I I can't try. I can't try. I can't try. I try. I can't try. I try. I can't try. I the the the the the the the to wear a coat but I get very hot very easily yeah and I found the strapped to baby was like me wearing a like I can't wear it I can't wear a woolly jumper because I get too hot so the strap two body heat of a baby was too much for me it does it does get hot I will say we bought a mesh one like the mesh out of things it does give some ventilation so it but it does yeah sometimes in the summer when I was the the the the the the the the th the th th the th the the th the the the th the the th the th the th the the the th the th th the the th th th. th. the the the. the the the. the. I was the. I was to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I the the the the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the some ventilation so that it does yeah sometimes in the
Starting point is 00:31:06 summer when I was wearing it but you know I would take off the carrier take her out of it and I would have a baby shaped like sweat patch on my chair yeah that's real commitment that's good that's good dad points that is so you're five months now what are we in now October so in many ways people go oh my god you had a baby in lockdown but to me that's the dream time to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th th th th the thi the the the the the the thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi their the. the. th. th. th. th. th. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the things. things. things. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeee. I the. I the. had a baby in lockdown, but to me that's the dream time to be having a baby because you're locked down anyway. Is that a fair analysis? Yeah, I thought it was the best, it was the best timing in terms of, it gave us a lovely distraction, you know, just in that, when everything locked
Starting point is 00:31:41 down we were going into that sort of nesting phase where you start getting everything prepped. And obviously nowadays you can order everything online, so it was getting the place ready, working out where everything's going to go, getting it ordered, and then just relaxing. You know, my wife basically got three months to put her feet up and watch Netflix and really relax and get asleep. And you know, when the baby came along along she was ready to go and then once the baby came along there was nothing else going on so we could just spend the first few months just. And you never would have been able to have that much time off like with the gigs and stuff like with the gigs and the tribe. Like you'd be traveling around the country tour and doing shows. I'd planned a good few. I'd planned like a few. I'd like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. to. to to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to be. their. to have to be to be to be a to be a to be a thi, like, like, like, thi, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. thi. the, thi. thr. And, thr. And, thrown. And, toea. And, toea. And, too. And, toea. And, toea. And, toea. And, tha. And, tha. And, th planning on going back to normal really but yeah I definitely would have had weekends where I'm off in Glasgow or something. That's really puts a strain then it when you're doing it on your own.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah well I would have felt really yeah would have felt really bad I think as well just knowing that especially during this period you know in the early days is much the nights are interrupted and you know I think me just being a gig and then getting on the beers and the beers the beers the beers the beers the beers the beers. the beer. the beer. the beer. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I............................................................................................................................................... just doing a gig and then getting on the beers and yeah yeah and lying about it on text go no you know we're having one beer backstage and I mean like the casino at two in the morning. Are you are you finding though that you like the thought now so you said before that you did Birmingham glee on Saturday yes and that thought you're going I've got a hotel and I've got you've got a bed to yourself yourself the th. th. to the to th. to the th. to th. to th. the th. the the th. th. th. to the the th. th. th. the the th. th. the the the the th. I the the th. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I the. I. I. I thea. I. I. I tea. I. I. te. I. te. I. te. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. And that thought you're going I've got a hotel and I've got you've got a bed to yourself rather than three people in the bed. Well I did I actually came back I got I got a lift back to London with one of the other acts. Again I just that I've as
Starting point is 00:33:14 yeah I'm not ready to do a night away. Don't get me wrong. What do you do though? What I've really, I've really grown to appreciate an afternoon beer. thapapapapapapapapapapapapapap. that. that. the that. the the that. the that. I the that. I that. I the that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that's that's to that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'll that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that that th. I th. I the the the the the th. I the the the th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. ththis going to sound worse than it is, but I've really grown to appreciate an afternoon beer since the baby. Yeah, again, with some of the NCT group, we've had a little sort of afternoon, in the summer, it was lovely, like little barbecues where, you know, having a sort of end time for drinking of like 7 p.m. when the babies want, when you want to start putting them to bed. It's a lovely a lovely a lovely a lovely lovely a lovely the lovely the lovely the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to be, their, toeatheaq. toeatheatheatheatheatheatheat. toe, toe. toe. to, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, th. I. th. th. th. te. te.k. te.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.a.e.a.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.a.a.a.a. I, te.a 7 p.m. when the babies want when you want to start putting them to bed. It's a lovely end. Oh, I find that tough. I find the hangover kicking on in the evening, really tough. You only have to have a couple. I don't think he's gone to Sambukas at 3 p.m. Yeah, I've misjudged it. I've had a couple of days when, you know, it was in a period a period a period a period a period a period a period a period a period a period of a period of a period of a period of a period of a period of a period of a period a period of a period a period of a period of a period of a period. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the hang the hang the hangoom. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm a tap tap tough, I'm a tough, I'm a tough, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I find, tape, I find, tough, I find, I find, I find, tough, I find, I find, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, real, if I've had, once I have one drink, it's like that is me, up until 6am, I'm gonna be last man standing. But like that adjustment to be able to just have three or four drinks in an afternoon, a couple of times I slightly overshot the green.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Don't get me off. I've scannled it. Roger Manister. You heard a Jonathan Edwards. I watched a great documentary about Jonathan Edwards as world record. I'd like to watch that. That is the exact kind of thing, something that's got a baby on them in the middle of the night would say, like, I'll put this on. This is good. I'd definitely want to watch this if I didn't have kids. I've had, I've really found my viewing habits have changed. In the daytime, if I ever had time and I wanted to watch something, it would normally be something like the Walking Dead or some quite violent show.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Now during the day when obviously I'm entertaining a baby, you know, even if she's asleep, I just can't bring myself to put anything violent on. I end up just watching really twee rubbish. Well yeah, could you just sort of think, well I don't really understand it, but surely just the imagery of a zombie getting a stab with a axe. It's definitely not gonna do good. It may not be doing bad.
Starting point is 00:35:14 And how did you find the labor and stuff? Because you're quite zen and quite chilled, but obviously that's such a stressful situation. How did you find it? I mean it was the most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most intense intense intense intense thencicicicicicicicicic.. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. thi. I'm, thi. thi. t. t. t. too. too. too. too. tee. I'm, too. I'm, the too. the the the most intense thing I've ever been through, but it was really chilled up to a point. Like we'd really planned it. My wife was really sort of certain she was going to have a natural birth. So she got, they mentioned in juice in her and she absolutely just refused. And it was just it would been planned. But then the last few weeks before the labour, like she was two and a half weeks early. But her, th, th, th, to, to, th, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. thi, thi, th. thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thi, thi, they, thri, thrown, throu, they, thrown, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thr-a, thr-s few weeks before the labour, actually she was two and a half weeks early, but my wife's platelets dropped,
Starting point is 00:35:47 which is a blood thing that can happen, quite, it's quite common in pregnancy. And basically we got told we weren't going to be allowed to use the birth center. So they said, you know, you're gonna be on a ward, and in my head, they make like, like, wards look horrendous I think those documentaries. Yeah, just really badly like, sterile. I hate that show, because they're making it for tele, even if there's not been anything horrible happening or stressful happening, they'll just edit in the way like it
Starting point is 00:36:20 like it has and I think it's a unfair representation of what's going on. They make it look really stressful you know and obviously they're only cut into it now and again it's just during the stressful bits. They're not really cut into them when they're you know in between contractions and they're feeling all right and I'm having a cup of tea but we got there and when my wife's water broke and my wife I couldn't believe it it was a Saturday morning. It was really early so we didn't think it was the labor. And then she started saying I'm feeling a bit weird. And then over the next hour she was like, I'm having, I think it could be contractions, but it might be them, what are them fake ones, they called? Did you think that because it was a Saturday morning? She had not gone. Did you know what? She was how hippieish we are. He will not go into labour until she taught Sunday brunch, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I said, you know what, this is how hippie-ish we are. I'm quite almost embarrassed saying this, but when they mentioned about inducing my wife and she refused, that was like three weeks before the due date, my wife was like, I'm not having that, I'm going to make sure that this baby comes before the due date. And the night before, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thee thi thee, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thee, I thee, I was thi, I was thee, I was thee, I was thee, I was thee, I thee, I thee, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thee, I thee, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I thin, I thin, I'm, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm to to to to to to to to to told, I'm to told, I'm to to to told, I'm to to to thea, I'm thee, I'mthe night before, this is absolutely true, this is the Friday night in question, it was a full moon. My wife went out and did some bloody weird full moon ritual in the garden where she lit candles and made like, you know, what's it, was it called when you sort of... I don't know if Rob's going to be able to help you out with this. You come when you guys know about Wick and Reed. Last time I did my full moon wizard party I did a cut of fireworks but that's just because I like fireworks. But she went out and did out and did the you know sort of lit some candles with her and all that I didn't really know
Starting point is 00:37:55 what was going on and then basically that was the night before and we went to bed and the baby the baby came along in the morning so there's got there's got to be there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there th th th th th th th th th th th th th there there there there there there that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th to to tho to be tho to that tho the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooo the tho thatthere's got to be something to it. I'd say that sample size is not an task. Because you probably believe the mainstream media you've been. I mean my heart says moon power my head says coincidence. If that happened you know after being pregnant for three months maybe two weeks before the due date. All right. What I'm saying is, she might have just, it might have just been her willing it to happen, you know, body started. Yeah, but they did have a curry and sex after the boop-hi. But who knows? Who knows what it could have been?
Starting point is 00:38:37 But then, yeah, when we got to the hospital, basically, yeah, she said she thought she was having contractions and it went on thured and it got to a point when she was like, I really think it is. And I downloaded an app to time the contractions and the first time I timed them for about two minutes, the app said, you are in labor, go to the hospital. And we went to the hospital and my wife was still like, yeah, they're pretty strong but she was not. Just say in 12 hours you really swung from a moon party to downloading an app to time the contraction. That's a hippie. Well that's the thing. I'll tell you a bit, once we get to the birth, I'll tell you how you're a hippie.
Starting point is 00:39:18 You can be the biggest hippie in the world. The moment things get real, you would do anything, I would have a, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th just, you would do anything, mate. I would have, I'm a vegan, I would have sacrificed a goat. I'd have said I had to to get that baby out. But yeah, when we got to the hospital, they did a quick check and she was five centimeters dilated, which is, you know, pretty much you're in labor. And then luckily though, they said, oh, we've got the biggest room on the ward. We went into it and it was basically a birthing suite at a pool, it had a lighting system that changed colors. So like had this change in light system. Yeah, it was lovely.
Starting point is 00:39:53 So I set up my, my speaker and I had a playlist that was about two days long, ready to go. And it was all hippie meditation music. And for about six hours, we just sat in there listening to that, and my wife just had contractions, she was really chilled with it, no problems, and it was really nice, it was a really relaxing afternoon. And then finally, basically once her waters broke, it just all went, you know, that's when it goes so crazy that, to be honest,
Starting point is 00:40:20 I don't remember what was on the play-list at that point. And yeah, and then it ended up sort of within an hour, she was, the plan was, you know, no intervention, but she ended up, you know, in the stirrups and I had to sort of work to get it out because the baby sort of wouldn't turn the corner, which I don't know what that means. It sounds more like it's having some emotional problems but yeah He's not drinking but he still goes to the pub. But he has really turned the corner. So yeah that once that happened it was it was quite quick and then the baby was out and then we got a few hours when I could stay but then that because of restrictions she had to stay in and I was I was carted off home and then I also kept her in the next day and I wasn't allowed to visit so that was a bit brutal.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Oh, what did you do? What did you do? I actually did. I played FIFA on the Xbox with my mate online because I needed a distraction really I think they knew just their keep me company. Once again you're only a hippie so far aren't you?? Of course. A hippie with Wi-Fi. Here's a, I tell you a funny one though. They asked in the evening on Saturday, like the baby had been born about an hour before, and they said, do you want to keep the placenta? And we both naturally.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Well, yeah, we both went, yeah. We didn't know what to do with it or anything, but we said yeah, we'll have it. And then they put it in a tub aware for you, which is quite nice. And I brought it home on a Saturday night, I got home about midnight, and I went to put it in the freezer, and the freezer was full, right? So there was no room in the freezer. And in the bottom drawer, I've got this big bag full of vegetable scraps, that I make a tha tha tha tha thage tha thage thage thage thage thage that I thage thage thage thage thagedemea, I make thaged I make thaged I make thaged I make thaged I make thaged I make themememak, I make th out of about once every month and I thought I need well I need to make room for the for the percenta so at quarter past 12 the
Starting point is 00:42:11 night of my daughter's birth I found myself making vegetable stock to make room for a placenta. What what are you going to do with it? Is it still in there? It is still in there? It's actually weirdly today I'm defrosting the freezer so I've got it in a cold box today. Just surrounding because you can get it made into pills, can't you? Which I mean really good to take. You can do pills, you can have it made into jewelry which I will say is the worst looking jewelry I've ever seen. the worst the worst. Some people people people people people people people people people people people people people people. Some they they they they they they they the worst. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their th. thi. thi. thi. they' th. their their their their their their their their their their their th. I've th. I've to th. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thee. to theee. theeeease. the thease. thease. I the. I the. I don't think it's good for a tree but you know there's weird so we haven't decided but we're doing with it yet maybe just keep it on ice forever and you're a you're vegan I don't know if your wife's a vegan is your wife a vegan as well she is yeah so what are you're gonna raise your child vegan I think well it's a weird one isn't it's like naturally I think we will yeah but also you're eating and stuff yeah. Yeah it'd be weird if we were making a
Starting point is 00:43:05 you know a vegetable doll or lentil doll and suddenly frying her up some chops. Yeah but they they fucking love fish fingers. I really. Chicken dippers like I don't even really eat them but they just for some reason where if they end up eating them. Yeah I suppose the kid it's weird that. I'm vegetarian but my wife is like basically vegetarian by definition if you know what I mean they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th think I mean think think think think think think think think th. th. Yeah think think we think we think we'll think we'll think we think we'll think we th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think thi thi thi thi thi Yeah I suppose it's weird that. I'm vegetarian but my wife is like basically vegetarian by definition if you know what I mean? Just by living with me and I mean I don't know what she eats when I'm not there but like bringing the cow but like but um she loves fish fingers my daughter but I don't know whether she'll you know I think she'll probably just kind of ease into you know eating the same as I think so right I mean we're not gonna we're not we're not strict like we're
Starting point is 00:43:51 strict with ourselves in terms of veganism like in turn by what I mean you know I don't go near any meat or anything but if other people do most of my friends they come round for a barbecue at mine or something I'm always say look if you want to bring some meat and chuck it on the barbecue I'll make a little fuck off. You know I'm pretty chilled about it all about yeah I think if you know when she's off an age where you know imagine she goes to a friend's house and eat some meat product I'm not going to be calling up the parent in you know hysterics. I think if that's a thing in it I think if you're if anyone that's too
Starting point is 00:44:30 shook the kid over anything whether it's drinking or veganism or anything the kid just wants to go against it. It's 100% so yeah I think we'll just let her be you know but when we cook cook it'll always be you know some really bad vegan food. What's your hate? What's weird is Carl because you know you're you are I know giving you technicie about like sort of having the internet and stuff being a hippie but you are like I'd say you sort of very into that alternative stuff and you know being vegan and stuff and all the different things you do but like growing up I think you and I probably have very similar backgrounds in like quite sort of tough working class families in South London and I'd say that your way you live now and the way that your daughter will live
Starting point is 00:45:09 will live will be the complete opposite of how you were brought up. Absolutely. My parents couldn't you know, they cannot understand my lifestyle. You know when I went vegan, my mom still still doesn't know what it is really. She keeps asking you always ask me if tuna is vegan. That's like a regular question. But it also just a way of, you know, my parents were old-fashioned working class Irish people and like, you know, they're way of parents and everything, everything they did, and not in a horrible way, but I'm really conscious to try and do it in a much more modern way.
Starting point is 00:45:42 It's like my mother, you know, my mother try and give, she's really bad with my brother actually, like she's always trying to give my brother parenting advice and right, you know, sort of me and my brother sort of look at each other and like I don't think she's in a position. Like we know what her parenting skills were like because we were there. We saw them first hand and have learned from their mistakes. So what kind of parenting were you, did you grow up with Carl? Well they were just quite, you know, it's not their own fault. My dad I don't think was a particularly, what's the word, natural dad.
Starting point is 00:46:16 You know, he was old, he was 43 when I was born. So there was no, he was uncomfortable around kids, like, which is awkward when you've got two of him. So, we never played with it. I never, I don't remember once ever playing with my dad, you know what I mean? He was just, I think he waited until I was in my teens and we could hold a conversation before he actually learned to communicate. And it was never, he's never, he's never, he's never been very loving or, yeah, he's just naturally an old-fashioned bloke, do you know what I mean? It just fits in the corner and sort of grunts now and again and watch, just constantly watch his tele and my mom is quite a neurotic Irish woman who's very, you know, when I say neurotic, I mean, to a pathological level. So she was really so stressed and anxious about everything that that sort of, you had to, I don't, me and my brother, I definitely just sort of went our own to................. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, that that sort of, you had to, I know, me and my brothers, I definitely just sort of went our own way.
Starting point is 00:47:05 We were quite independent from a young age because we were like, I don't think, I think we've outgrown these people by our early teens, so we just went off and, you know, did our own thing. Because you've always been quite grown up, I mean, I never knew he's a the the the you as a, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, th....... th. th. th. th. I was, th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a, I was, I was, th. I was, th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th. th. I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I........ I was, I was, I was, I was, I was... I was. I think, I was. th. thin. th. th. th. th. thin. think, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I think, I think, I've. I think you've always been sort of even when you were young on the comedy circuit, it was almost like an elder statesman, the grown-up, that's the older brother of everyone. And you've always sort of been older than your years, I all all.
Starting point is 00:47:31 I allo's older, like, I remember, I started cooking my own dinners when I was at home when I was about 12 because I didn't like my mom's cooking. That is rude, isn't it? At the time, I think I thought, it'll take the load off her, you know, so she doesn't have to stress and, you know, and I can cook myself what I want to cook and I learn to cook from doing that, but looking about I do think that is, I'd take it personally, my daughter, when she's 12, go, look, you take a night off, that shit again. So do you think though, because this is something I've sort of read up upon, where if you were parented in a certain way, you'll sort of almost try and counter out that with your own child and whereas you were maybe left your own devices and to be a grown up quite early on, do you think there might be a danger that you may not overcompensate, not smother your daughter, like are you wearing that you maybe do too much for her and then that way she gets a bit money coddled. Definitely I mean there is yeah
Starting point is 00:48:27 I'm pretty certain I'm gonna probably veer too far that way because I'm I do and it's mainly because I want I want her to grow up and like me and trust me and actually be able to go to me. You're desperate you're definitely getting the guitar and the cowboy out, let's go. Love me, love me, love me. I think it's quite as almost a sad point to it, but I want her to, I want her to like me when she's older and go to me, or feel like she can come to me if she's got problems, or you know, I've never, I would never go to my parents if I had a problem. I've not mates who would go to way before my parents. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've to the to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to, to, to, love, love me, love me, love me, love me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, problem I'd go to my mates I've not mates who I'd go to way before my parents but I've never asked them for anything and it's that's not it's not
Starting point is 00:49:09 just because of their financial situation and the fact they haven't got any money and things like that it's more just I wouldn't go for them for emotional advice or anything really just because I thi thin. th th th th th th th th thi thi thi they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to they're to to the to they're to they're they're to they're they're they're they're they there forte. So I want to be able to at least offer that to my child. So if she's ever in dire straits or whatever, she can actually come to me, not just think, well, I need to go through my WhatsApp list to see who else I can ask. Would you find that you parent in a different way to your parents Rob. Not many people know that Russell Kane was brought up on a hippie commune. I don't know really, I'm not yet really. I think it's more when we were treated like you go
Starting point is 00:49:53 out and you get a job type thing at like six I always work from like 14 and stuff and not that I want my kids not to have sort of that same work ethic but I think the proof will be more with the teenagers so it's just trying to to to to to the to the to the to the proof... I I I I. I I to to to be. I to be. I to be. I to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to the their. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. And. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the with the teenagers. So it's just trying to find out balance of, I don't want to go too far one way or one too far the other, but it's just trying to get the right balance of, yeah, go out and work because you need to work, because you need to work, to get to work, because you need to it and get some money, that's not the deal and an end all. And I think that's why some people from working class backgrounds can get consumed by the earning of money and getting the Rolex or the flash car and all that to prove that you've got the money, it's all going to be okay. But actually you're sort of running on a subconscious level of fear that it's all going to go away the whole time. So it's, and thaken. And thaken. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And to, and to, and to, and to, and to, to, their, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, throw, to get, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin. And, thin. And, thin, thin, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, thoooooooo. And, thooooooooooo. And, thoooooooo. And, tho. helped me in my career. However, you want to try and make sure it's not too ingrained that it defines you and then you never stop to relax and go, it'll be okay, we'll get on whatever happens.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Do you know, I think that's why it's interested with Carl. Carl's gone, you know, I'm a bit sort of hip-hipy-like to my. I love that I love that you are hippieish and art of party to your family. That is absolutely amazing. Nobody paints a picture of your family in our mind. It's meant to order but they like you. Here he bloody is old Jim Morrison walking in. My dad I drove my parents up to see my brother. This was just before lockdown and my brother lives in Notin. And I took my parents up to see my brother, this was just before lockdown, and my brother lives in Nottingham, and I took my parents and my aunt, Junie, and my mom and her sat in the back just talking in incessantly,
Starting point is 00:51:35 as old women do, where they just commentate on everything that happens. And they're all in a baby carrier, yeah? Yeah? All in the front of the chest. No car, no pram. At one point I overheard them that we went past one of them big wind turbines and I just heard my mom go Jesus Ginny look at the size of that right. And then we went past another one about three minutes later and she went, I know I said it before but she said it before but My dad got in the car when I picked them up and I was listening to meditation music. It was just like, woo, woo, and my dad sat down and just asked,
Starting point is 00:52:09 he goes, are you listening to hoovering? Like, that's what I've got to deal with my whole life. Do you, because you're very kind of relaxed as a person. Yes. And parenting is arguably the least relaxing pursuit, you know, at times. Do you find when you're woken up at 2 a.m. or when you're struggling to do something, is it difficult to remain Zen for one of a better word? Not, so far, I've been pretty good. I genuinely would say yesterday when she was having, she had probably the most neurotic day she's had since she was born. You know, I mean, and what I mean by that is when the first few weeks they're literally done on what they're doing, do they? They're just a ball of noise and they're just so new to the world. But so I think then you can, it doesn't really matter if they're crying because you totally understand. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. their, their, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, their, their, their, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, what I mean, their, their, their, their, to them it must be terrifying to come out into the world. But, you know, since she's become much more aware and fun and laughing and giggly,
Starting point is 00:53:07 like, she's actually been reared, she's a really chilled out baby. And then yesterday was the first time she was pretty much nonstop quite difficult all day. And that's the closest I've got to, like, to not be able to just sort of contextualize it and go it's fine she's a baby. You know what I mean? That's what I'm... I read, I don't know if you did it, but I read a lot of books while my wife was pregnant. I thought I just, you know, I've got enough time, I'll just do the reading and during lockdown and, you know, just at the start of the year we were traveling, we went over to Australia and stuff. So I I I I I I I I I had a a a a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot to to to to to to th. So I th. So I had a lot th. I had a lot th. I had a lot th. I had a lot th. I had a lot th. I read a lot thi. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot of th. I read a lot of book. I read a lot of book. I read a lot of book. I read a lot of book. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot th. I read a lot of parenting books and child psychology books and I think I just got it I could really try to drill into myself to never ever think that the baby is doing it to annoy you. That's what I think a lot of parents get into that mind frame when a baby especially once they get to about four or
Starting point is 00:53:56 five months when they become a bit more conscious people thinne. Or they're trying to do they know what they're they're doing. They're doing. They're doing. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try try try try try try to to to to to trying to manipulate you or they're trying to do, they know what they're doing, they're really needling you and it's not true. They're not, they're not developed enough to understand that, but at this point, five months in, I'm still, whenever she's crying or in, you know, I always think of it, I put myself in her position and go, look, she's just, she's four and a half months old and there's just been a loud noise or whatever, something obviously is causing this. So I'm at the minute I might be chilled about it. There's still inside you, the little oic from toot in, Carl, that surely at some that goes out for fuck sake. Yeah, a little bit. Well, do you know what, the thing that keeps annoying me is because I've coped with the tik, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is........ the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thieness really well, so is my wife, and considering she's breastfeeding still through the night, it's unbelievable how she's dealt with it, but I've realized I'm mentally relatively normal, I don't feel exhausted, but I think that's
Starting point is 00:54:55 because I'm diverting all my energy to my brain, my body, I'm the clumsiest I've ever been, I knock everything over, I'm hears me throughout the day every half an hour knock something over and go oh shit like in the other room shit we can hear just around the house throughout the day so yeah I definitely I think I still get annoyed about that level yeah clumsiness but in terms of the emotional side as yeah I've somehow managed to maintain this sort of Zen and when are you planned on moving the baby out of the bedroom like into their own room if you the th you th you the th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho the the tho the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the thea thea the the the the the the the the the the the their the the managed to maintain this sort of Zen. And when are you planning on moving the baby out of the bedroom, like into their own room? If you've got a plan for that or are you just going to see how it goes?
Starting point is 00:55:29 Yeah, we're just going to see how it goes. I think, yeah, we haven't actually bought a cot yet. So, which is quite a five months in the minute, but we are looking at one. one of them probably when she's about six months and start seeing if she wants to maybe have her own space and that. That's very much baby lead. I think. Yeah, just have a quick discussion with her. If her first words are, seriously, can I not sleep somewhere else? You feel a bloody annoying. Let me have my own bed, it's breathing on me dad. And why'd you wear the cowboy out to bed? It's weird. Oh, do you know what? This is gross is is is is is this is this is this is this is this is this is gross is gross is gross is gross is gross is gross is gross is gross is gross this is gross th is gross? This is gross? This is gross? This is gross? This is gross? This is gross? This is th is the the th is the th. the th. th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the wear the cowboy out to bed? It's weird.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Oh do you know what? This is gross, but um, I think I've, I've, in the last couple of weeks, I think I've developed sympathy nappy rash with my daughter. Oh my gosh, this is where the hippie stat's coming now for this. Well because I'm a naked, I've always, for the last decade I've never slept in any layers whatsoever. I hate it. What was a turning point really? Because I've always been a naked sleeper, but it's only in the last 10 years. Was there a turning point? Dick was too up? Well, I mean, when she came along and she was in the bed, I felt a bit, I don't know, I felt a little bit grotty with just just. just just just. just. just. just. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've just. I've just. I've just. I've just. I've just. I've just the the the the th th thi. I've just thi. I've just thi. I've just thi. Yes. I've just thi. I've th. I've th. I've their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've te te teat teat teat tea. I've tea. I've tea. I've tea. I've the. I've thi thi. So I thought I've got to put a layer on. How far down is she sleeping? That's why they're calling the wind turbine.
Starting point is 00:56:49 What look at the state of that! As she grows, I don't want to, I don't want that to be like the barometer, the day she's got of her foot just touches my knob. So like I just I thought, do you know what, out of just out of, th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. the th. the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the th. the th. tho, thi, the thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their the wind the wind the wind the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. the. toy. toy. toy. tipe, tipe, tube, tube, you know, just out of some level of, and also because you're up and about a lot in the night, I thought it's good to at least have a layer on in the night time if you, you know, go into, walking around the house and stuff. So I started wearing a layer, basically a box of shorts in bed, and because I haven't mourned it for so many years, I've gotten to napty rash, and I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a their, I'm a their, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, to, thak, to, their, their, thi, to bea, to bea, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I........... And, I, I, I, I, I'm, I.. And, I. And, I'm, I'm, I. And, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, toa, toa, toa, t ta, ta, ta, ta.a, ta.a.a, ta, ta, ta, tha, tha, tha bits and pieces are used to have in air. Oh wow so you having to put on the same stuff as her? Are you both lying there and putting on you? I do what I do. I've got a poor wife. I've got the whole wife. Lengths up. Let's go both of you. Two cream all around, going through tubs of it. We got given a cream by a friend who sent like a lovely hamper of like goodies and one of the creams and she's like a hippie she's still she's still got her she's got like two grown-up daughters and she's still got the placenta for them but
Starting point is 00:57:52 she one of the creams was like this calendar hippie cream and I put it on twiler one day and she cried the house down it was like I'd put acid on her and then I just thought oh well maybe she's a a the other the other the other the other the other other the other other other the other other the other the other the other to the other to the other th. th. I was I was I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was to to to to to to to to th. I was I was I was th. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked. th. th. th. th. th. I'm like like liked. th. th. th. I'm like liked. th. I'm like liked. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm th. I was liked. I was like.'d put acid on her and then I just thought, oh, well, maybe she's allergic to it or something. I went back to the other stuff I was using that she really likes. And then when I first started getting a nappy rash, I put the colendula cream on it and it stings like anything mate. It's like, it's like squeezing lemon juice on it or don't what sort of rubbish in the wonder. Again, this is where you draw the th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin, I'm thin, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. It's like, I'm, th. I'm, thr-I'm just, I'm thirty, I'm thirty, I'm thirty, I'm thirty, I'm the wonder? I'd rather, I'd write, again, this is where you draw the line. You can be a hippie all you want. The moment is the natural thing that stings, you like, give me the, give me the thing with 800 ingredients,
Starting point is 00:58:30 the most mandibles. I don't know why this needs crushed up bones in it, but it works. I'm gonna wipe it potty train from birth. Have you heard about that? Catherine Ryan thinks this as well you can potty train early doors. I think it was her that might I think my wife might have heard Catherine mention it. This is the least Carl Donnelly thing I've ever heard in my life. 42 minutes in the interview is the interview. But apparently you can put them on a potty t one week apparently. No, but by potty try, I don't mean that you've got to make them go on a potty.
Starting point is 00:59:06 What it is, is basically the theory goes, babies don't want to piss and shit themselves. No one wants to, right? And it's actually we trained them could do, Rob, if you're up for it. Yeah, we all need content. I think that's got comic relief written all over it. David Williams does his swim and Rob, where it's an apy for two weeks? But yeah, the theory is that basically they only do that because we let them and train them to do it. So actually the natural thing is if you, you know, if you start learning their cues when they're going to do it and then you just hold them over the toilet or hold them over
Starting point is 00:59:54 a potty and then just they naturally progress to just do it naturally. But we tried it a couple of try to to to to to to it, it's difficult to pick up on the I need a piss queues of a one week old. Really? I think the pissed cue, I think is much easier than when they're going to shit themselves. I've noticed like my daughter has a sort of thousand yard stare when she's about to do a piss. Right. If a proper, you know, she looks like she's going through some shit. Like, if you look off into a distance like she's remembering an old friend who's past. Are you still getting those horrendous like yellow shit's that go all up their back? But you just think how can this much come out of a kid? Yeah. And it goes through like their jumper? You're like, oh my God. Because weirdly, she, because she's 100% breastfed.
Starting point is 01:00:46 We've not given her, she's had nothing else. And so that means she doesn't shit that often currently. Oh, okay. She did all the time and then when they get normally exclusively breastfed babies when they get to about four months, they start stretching out. The first. And it's totally natural. Where did you go? Glass-tempering? But that meant that it was a ticking time bomb. We knew that when it happens it's going to be a catastrophe. And it was just, I mean it was mayhem when it happened.
Starting point is 01:01:19 When it happened. Just everywhere. It was I mean every item. I think those the clothes ended up going in the bin because we tried washing them twice and it just wouldn't come out it was that thick and the texture changed and it was ours bad. Yeah we were using reusable nappies but she shit so much you have to throw clothes away every time she has a bonfire afterwards. Rob. Yes do you want to ask your favorite question? Yeah, it's my favorite question, Carl, basically. And this is your opportunity now. If there's a way that your wife's parenting, that it annoys you, and you want to say something, but you've not found the right time without kicking off between you. There's something that she
Starting point is 01:01:57 does that grates on you that you'd like to get off your chestnut so if you did hear it back back back could have a conversation. So for instance, Matthew Crosby was quite angry that Charlie put those those bibs, the kind of coat bib things, that she hung them on the tap in the sink. But he'd not, I'd not got the guts to tell her. Let me think. Well, we'd weirdly, mine is, I'm not annoyed about it. Let's just start with that. That's always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always. the the to start. the to start. to the to the to the to to the to the to the to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to be. to beaqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. their. their. their. their. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. th. th. th. th. th.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not I'm not annoyed about it let's just start with that. That's always a great caveat to put in when you are just to cover yourself. Imagine it was really big now it's like actually I think the way she talks to me at not the way I would argue if it didn't annoy you you you wouldn't have one as quick but that's just what I think that's fine you know. I'm not annoyed about it but it is really. Is there any grating on my confidence? No, it's almost, I'd say there's nothing, but if I had to try and find something. Oh yeah, we're forcing you now, we're really, you know. It would probably be, um, what it's, I'll tell you what it is, it's the, it's the muslins left around the house. Basically, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I, I, I, I'll, the, the, the, the, the, the, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd the, I'd the, it's, the, the, the, the, the, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, I'd, I'd there, it's the muslins left around the house. Basically, I'm, I'm, I'm,
Starting point is 01:03:05 this is really one of the biggest transitional things. I'm very neat. I like a, I like, a very tidy, no, because I like, you know, I just, I don't like things being left around. I mean, an empty cup, yeah, it doesn't, it's not like an annoy, I don't get annoyed about it, I don't.. I. I don't or in the dutch washer. So I've you know I've had to get used to the fact there's a lot of stuff around just because you went and that's what happens when the baby comes on but just I just constantly find muslins everywhere just everywhere just everywhere just everywhere just every just everywhere just every that's every that's just everywhere. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. I'm that's that's that's their. that's that's their. their. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's the they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they, you know, up at all hours of the night, she needs them just around everywhere, but for me I just, I'm like, you know, you could have, you could have just put it back in the bedroom. Yeah, in the must enjoy all the dirty what you mean, either or all. It's only going to get worse because I thought for the first six months, I thought we're just very tidy parents. Yes. We're just very tidy but no there's not toys everywhere but of course there wasn't toys everywhere because
Starting point is 01:04:09 she couldn't walk around throwing toys everywhere. I once when I was on tour put my leg for it a muslin came out the end that had been in the jeans. I've been heckled from home. Your tour jeans? Well like, I've got an outfit, I'll wear, so because to make it easier, I've like a outfit I'll wear on stage, right? But I just hang up in the corner. So whenever I just grabbed that, right? But somehow, even in the maddest fault, I'd go in my jeans, the mused, and I actually performed once it, like, it was like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I weird I think it's a stock or something and I'll get up that interbole and I
Starting point is 01:04:47 pulled it out but I'm certain bit of Muslims but so we'll we'll try and get that fed back to to her car and then she can always come in here and complain about you what do you think should say about you I would say me it would be I always forget to empty the the na the na to the na to to the to to the to to the to the to the to the to to the to the to to the the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to me me me me me me me to me to me to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I to be I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the that's. I'm that's thi. I'm that's the that's thi. I'm that's thi. I'm thi.to empty the nappy bin. We've got a nap, yeah. That is, I'm really bad at, and again, this comes from almost the sort of clumsiness I currently have, I just, I'm constantly forgetting to do physical things around the house. Just, you know, because all my brain power is going to actually looking after the baby.
Starting point is 01:05:18 My chore doing, I definitely think has taken a hit. How are you on stage? Are you still remembering the routines? Are you distracted or you find it as a good, like a nice mental break? Weirdly, when I'm doing a set, I feel like I'm not lost any mental power whatsoever. I feel like I'm actually, I can do that, and I can think through an idea and do a routine. When I've compared a couple of times, I've been rubbish. I've been rubbish. I've been rubbish. Like I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've been a th. I've been th. I've been th. I've been th. I've been a thi. I've been com. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I've been a th. I've been a th. I've been a thi. I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been a good. I've been rubbish, like, you know, like sort of, I think I, I've always thought I'm a good compare. I think I'm quite quick and you know, you definitely are. I've always seen you do really well. But I, yeah, I've done a couple of gigs where I've compared and I've got nothing that, I'll just ask somebody in the front of no. That's bad. And I don't even realize it, you know, you know when you find you find when you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you find you're not on firing on all cylinders and you start having a bit of banter and about two minutes later you realize you're just having
Starting point is 01:06:08 a conversation. She's nice to talk to someone sometimes. We've become those comics that when we started out we used to look at the older bloc. Oh look at that. Oh look at that. Little did we get through with some broke that mountain checked shirts back. All the all do that amazing thing where they'd criticize the person for being boring. It's like, hang on. Oh yeah. The responsibility to make it funny does lie with you mate. Yeah. Of course he's boring. That's why he's paid 18 quits to come watch you. And he wants a refund. Oh cheers. Ca. It's been absolutely pleasure. Thank you very very. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All th. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All, th. All, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho. th. th. th. All, that's been brilliant. It's been absolutely, absolute pleasure. Thank you very much, Carl.
Starting point is 01:06:48 And the two people we've had on that said that they read a lot of books in the buildup were you and Russell Kane. So I'd love to see the Venn diagram of those libraries. Yeah, to be honest, I reckon I read some of the ones I thought I disagree with. Like there's a very famous one called Why French Children Don't Throw Food, which is excellent, but it's a way of, it talks about the French way of parents in, which is very much, you get them on to your schedule as quick as possible rather than the other way around. He read that book going, recommend doing the reading for any perspective. What would be your three books to read?
Starting point is 01:07:32 My favorite ones, I read a few of them actually. There's a guy called Oliver James, who's a child psychologist. He wrote a famous one called They Fuck You Up, which is about your parents influence you. And then he wrote a follow up called how not to fuck them up, which is about your parents influence you. He wrote a follow-up called how not to fuck them up, which is about children. And like how you should. And he's a big purveyor of just, you know, you've got to do, they're a baby, you're an adult, don't ever act like they have the same sort of cognitive ability as you. You've always got to accept that they're going to cry, they're going to do all this and it. and it. and it. and it. and it. And it. And it. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's their their their their their their their, to their, their, their, to, their, their, thi. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to f. And, to, their, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, their going to cry, they're going to do all this and it's more about just just try and give them everything they want for at least the first three years, you know, just so they don't
Starting point is 01:08:11 develop quite serious detachment issues and things like that. So some of the stuff he says is quite worrying. Things you can do when a child's two thi. So I found their their their their their their their their to to to their to to to their to their their their to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. try. try. try. try. try. Just, try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try's two that they'll really pick up on and might develop into some weird fetish when they're older, you know what I mean? So I found that the most interesting, and that friend, why French kids don't throw food I just found really fascinating because you forget that different countries even as close as France have such a different view of parent in than we do. So yeah, them three would be like my favourite ones. Thanks Carl, Carl. Thanks, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th the, them, thr- thr- them, them, them, them, them, them. So, them. So, them. So, them. So, them. So, them. So, them. So, them. So, them, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, them, them, them, Thanks Carl, brilliant. Cheers, mate. Cheers, guys. Carl Donnelly there, the working man's hippie. The working man's hippie. I think you've got the range of hippie from Carl on one end to you on the other to me, kind of halfway between the two of you. Well, I mean, I meditate, but I'd never listen to the soundtrack in the car. Listening to the soundtrack in the car is, and I don't, didn't want to say this to his face,
Starting point is 01:09:07 fucking unhinged. And also, you know that's going to cause an argument with your dad when he gets in. Yeah, yeah, exactly. If you're thinking, well, we're a bit different from my dad. I'll just pop on the meditation music before Put on some Chaz and Dave, meet him halfway. Or Coldplay. No one's angry with a cold play. They're just accepting it.
Starting point is 01:09:27 No one's angry with the cold play except Travis. Yeah. That was great though. It's so different to, like Russell Kane. That's what I love about doing this. Just a completely different ways people parent and stuff. Totally. And what's fascinating. I think what's going to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinating to be fascinatingthink what's going to be fascinating with doing this is I really already excited about checking in with Carl in six months or a year's time to see how it's
Starting point is 01:09:49 changed. Yeah, I think it's that sort of honeymoon period of the kids. When they start moving the kids, that's when it's deadly. When they start running around and doing stuff. Let's be honest, not all excited about revisiting. What's happened since then? But yeah, Ellis, that still talks me when he goes, so I just accepted this is my life now. Just looking at the window trying to get a bit of sun. Thank you to Carl. We will see you on Friday. Yep, see on Friday.

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