Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP56: Heaven or Hell?

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S01 EP56: Heaven or Hell?More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch wit...h the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:32 and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting how with Can you say Rob Beckett?
Starting point is 00:01:27 Bob Bacchett. Can you say Josh Widdickham? Sus did it. Josh did it? Josh did it. Thank you. That is Ruby who's just turned four and is asking when her next birthday is and also counting down to Christmas. I'm going to say it, what Ruby has raised, which I've never thought, is I actually think you'd be better as a Bob.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Bobby Beckett sounds a bit cruise ship, but it does, but you know, my act. Do you know what I mean? I'll give the people what they want Josh. You are an entertainer, Rob. First and foremost, you're an entertainer. I'm like a diesel engine. Do you know what I mean? You get a lot out of me. I'm fairly cheap, but frowned upon by the hybrid crew. Like the diesel engine, there was a point when people thought that you were going
Starting point is 00:02:17 to be a good thing, but actually you've turned out these new ones, can they get to and from Stoke one night? No, they can't. They will struggle, you'll have to charge up somewhere. Oh, Josh, this week's been horrible. Have we just started with the most tortured metaphor I've ever heard in my life? Oh, I've got, I've had a headache for about two weeks, Josh. It's stressful at the world stressful? Yeah, I do I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi thi thi thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thus, I'm tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh'm going to have to interrupt you Rob to say that I'm going to have to let my cat out of the bedroom area because... I think it's a bag. Let me just go and open the door. Let that cat out mate. Surely you've got a cat flat? You've got two cats in you? No, no, no, no, no, no. It was the bedroom. No, no, no, no, it was it. It it. It it. It the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. that. that. that. tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t around, you're trying to do a podcast and they're in the bedroom. This is the problem with cats, Rob. They don't understand how now I will have to work from home by talking to a microphone that is on top of a chest of joy.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Yes. And we started this podcast in lockdown Tuesday episode went out a bit late this week, just because a number of things. Michael's been busy, we've both been busy. Very stressful last week. You thought me through your terrible week. Well, terrible. It was more terrible for Lou. After recording a podcast,
Starting point is 00:03:37 I can't remember which one of the podcast, I do remember at the end of the podcast, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, thi of the podcast, it's probably the most stressed I've ever heard you. Oh God, I know. In the sense of, I'd say you're one of the least stressed people I know. Do you know what I mean? Well, especially on the surface. I'm good at hide-it because I'm smiling. You were the furthest I've ever heard you from being Bobby Beckettis. I was Robert B. At that's. I the the th. I th. I thi. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I At that point. You were Robert B at that point. Well, basically, like,
Starting point is 00:04:06 Lou's, Lou, um, Lou had pancreatitis, pancreatitis, pancreatitis, basically a pancreas, that's why I'm laughing. But anyway, after recording the episode, I went in and she was I'm in pain and I've just run 1-1, 1, and they got to phone an ambulance. It was a side effect. She was on this new medication and the side effect was it you couldn't, can get pancreatitis. And she's supposed to go in, the kid's there as well. So it's supposed to be going for a blood test. She went to go in and have the blood test to keep an eye on all different levels because of this medication. And they said, oh, you're not booked in. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can't can can't can't can't can't can can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can can't. And, you can can can can can can can can't. And, their. And, the the the the the the the tha. And, tie. And, tie. And, tiea. And, tiea. And the tiea. And the the the tiea. And the tiea. And the the the tiea. And the the time she went to the blood test she'd already been in hospital because she had to get taken in it she was on more she was like oh about 10 minutes after that podcast episode she was a morphine in the kitchen and gas and air I'm not going to lie Rob yeah when I had more morphine yeah when I had more morphine I'd say it was one of the best nights in my life I mean yeah yeah Lou was it was a to absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely the the the the the the the th th I th I th th I th I th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's was that's was ab that's was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was ab I was absolutely. was absolutely. was absolutely. that's was absolutely. that's was absolutely. that's. that's that's. that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the t. I was a t. I'm. t. I'm. to to t. I'm. to to t. I was a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that? When I had my, I was going to say kidneys,
Starting point is 00:05:05 not my kidneys, my, what's it called? Appendix removed. So I had my appendix removed last year. Yes. And I was wheeled back into the ward at Homerton Hospital. And I was basically, I was, you know, you know, do, do, do, do, do, do the dance. So I was doing that with my arms doing the dark dance as I was wheeled back into it. Off of the morphine. And then I couldn't sleep because of the morphine. Yeah. And I said, and she said, because you don't have a sugary tea before. Because you've had a sugary tea before. Because you're was in the kitchen on morphine and gas and air and then obviously the kids are all round and then then basically the paramedic come in and I was like, rule of six you're not allowed in.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Surely that's an emergency. So they came in and then basically they came in and then. You're also bubbling with a paramedic. Yeah so now a part of of of of of of of paramed. I I I the kid kid. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. I they they the kids. I was. I the kids. I they they they the kids. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I the kids. I the kids. I the kids. So, I the kids. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. the kids. the kids. They the kids. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I just. I just. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the the kids. I bubbling with a paramedic. Yeah, so now I'm part of a paramedics bubble. It's actually nightmare. Yes, basically I had the kids, so I took the kids out, because I didn't want to say, we just said, mommy's not very well, she's got a sore tummy. She's got a sore tummy. I didn't want to see her. coming, she's in hospital. So she was in hospital for like three or four nights the last week and it was just so
Starting point is 00:06:25 all because I'm worrying about it and I couldn't even go and visit her because of the coat, they got they go in a COVID pending walled for a bit for a bit and then I couldn't even see her until like three days in and she didn't have anything on her and then I packed a bag for it. I was allowed to drop the bag off and then. And th. And th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thoed. I was thoed. I was thoed. I they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. I couldn't. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're going. I couldn't they're going going. I couldn't thoed. I couldn't thoed. I couldn't they're going going going they're they're going they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theythen I pressed a buzzer to go in and I walked in and this nurse came running over and he got get out get out it's a COVID wall and I was like what? Don't buzz me in then if it's a COVID pending wall I know I've got these bags to my wife and I packed her so much stuff like you know could want to make it nice talk me through the bags tot me through what you packed her. When I was allowed to go and see it, she was allowed to have clear fluids because she was on a drip and on antibiotics and couldn't eat or drink. Basically, you get pancreatitis,
Starting point is 00:07:09 either through medication or if you're an alcoholic, essentially, it's basically chronic and you can be in for weeks and a week. So I was a bit worried, so I was getting all stressed. But I packed her like a dressing, panic packing you do to try and make some feel better. So she had loads of different headphones in there, some slippers, some showery stuff, so she gave a shower, and then I just went mental in the supermarket with different fluids. Because she went, oh, I can't have pop, right?
Starting point is 00:07:34 And I was like, that's a weird thing for, like a medical term, pop for like fizzy drinks anyway because I thought on it on this website it says fizzy drinks are clear anyway so I've got this massive bag of drinks and I went in there and it was so heavy Josh's bag and I said this tiny little nurse come out and I said I've got these drinks because you can't have pop and I so I'm basically got it looks like I've just you know like is a riot and I've decided to lose I was wondering why your wife who's in her 30s was using the word pop. I know, like a six-year-old. Yeah, so she misheard him anyway, so this bag was so heavy and then the nurse was like,
Starting point is 00:08:13 so what is this? I'm just dropping off some stuff for it, I had a pillow in there and all that. Just essentials. I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, yeah, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. Yeah, was. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. But it was just horrible. Luckily, she was all okay, but because we didn't know what it was and she was in this severe pain and because of the pain was near the heart, they thought she was having a heart attack. And I was like, oh my God, but luckily it all calmed down and stuff. But the kids were fine. How was the four days with you and the kids? hell. But, but not as bad as having pancreatitis. Now of course. Of course, you know, but I keep winding lue up and go, well you've had your mini break haven't you? You've had a short break away from the kids. Because I won't lie. When you said she spent four days in hospital, there was a small part of me that thought
Starting point is 00:08:59 oh that would be nice. Right, yeah, right, that's what I thought I got there. Let's be, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. Right, yeah, right. That's what I thought, I got there. Let's be, like, cards on the table, I'm not saying it is, but there was a part of me that was thinking four days in a bed. Yeah, but I went there and the people she was sharing the walled with, and bless them, some slightly older guys, but it was, you know what, Rob, they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they, they, they's, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're, they were, they're, they. they. they. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th.. th............................................................ It, was, was, I, I, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It was, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, the. the. the. the. th. th. th shit, Josh. But do you know what, Rob? Would I take four days in a bed with the smell of human shit? I probably would, yes, Rob. At least you don't have to clear it up and like it home.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Do you know what? After about an hour or two, you probably get used to it? If anything, when you come out, you miss it. Well, anyway, so the kids though, because the kids, the a bit worried because they came in and they were like, oh, what's that? And they had to like put a needle thing in her arm and stuff and they sort of saw that. And I was trying to keep them all away. And I thought it's quite interesting thing to talk about the podcast. And if other people, and if other people, and especially, especially, especially, especially, especially, especially, especially, especially, the, and, the, and, the, and, the, and, the, and, the, and, and, the, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're, and, they. they. they're going away with a doctor and she was at the hospital But so I didn't want to completely shelter him from it Because they're too old to be like no, mommy's on holiday or something Because they'd see what's going on to see what's going on to say what's going on? So they'd see what? theymea, you know, and you don't want to tell them. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their to be. to be to be to be their their their their. their their their their their their to be. their. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be completely. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. toe. to. to. the. to. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to be their. their your tips if you've dealt with something like this. I think it's always, you know, as much as we like the emails that are amusing, I think
Starting point is 00:10:28 it's always useful if people have got parenting tips, because let's be honest, Rob, we don't know what we're doing. Oh, no, that's what annoys me. When we ever do PR for this show, they go, right, send in you, ask Rob and I'm to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, to ask, to ask, to ask, to ask, to ask, to ask, to ask, basically got to go away, talk about it on the podcast and some of those that are talking about, emails in, and then I'll come back to you, but I can't do this live on the one show. I've got no idea.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Yeah, occasionally you do go, you do realize what you haven't booked super nanny. Yeah, yeah, anyways, so she th, th, th, th, she, she, she, she, she, I would watch. Just I bet it's very high status and wordplay. But yeah, anyway, so she came home and then, but I got Lou to send like, Lou spoke to him on the phone and stuff when she wasn't on so much pain relief and stuff and that. But they weren't allowed to go and visit obviously. But yeah, what they did, want to go sleep, they were like, I miss mommy. And I was like, you evil little bastard. You do, but you don't miss her that much.
Starting point is 00:11:29 You're doing that because you don't want to go to bed now. And you know that it's an awkward thing and it's a bit of, you know, it's an awkward, you and it's a they did miss her and they were up a bit worried, but Lou did well doing, sending her voice messages and phoning them to sort of calm and down a bit. So they were desperate to see Lou and stuff. Anyway, so Lou came out early, so her dad picked up and dropped her off at home and then I was working that day so the kids were being looked after by our support bubble child care. And when they got brought home, it was so funny though, they'd got this new Playmobile toy that they love and they were trying to play with. And as they come in, Lou was there to give my hug,
Starting point is 00:12:11 they went, yes, my Playbill, just run past there to the Playbill. But I feel, I think then, I think you've done an excellent, and emotional like, mommy's home and she's okay. It's like, mommy's gonna be alright. When can I play my plover bill? So that made me laugh. I think you've done an excellent job. I think the only thing you could have done better is was to put both your children in a bag and take them into the hospital
Starting point is 00:12:35 to see whether they would be counted as the necessary necessary for the necessary. Yeah, is it's a a a a necessary, I, I, I, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I think, I think, I think, I think, th.. thin, th. th. thin, th. th. thin, th. th. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I essential? I'm sick of people tell me what is and isn't essential, okay? So these kids are essential to my wife on some days. See you later, I'll be back in three days. On the topic of lockdown though, right? Because it's lockdown time now. Yes, so we should say also, we didn't mean for this podcast to become topical again. Yeah, we're satirical if the world events just come back round to us. We don't follow the news. We'll stay strong with a lockdown podcast hoping for another lockdown.
Starting point is 00:13:11 But the rules are weird right. So before all this lockdown we've got now, it was rule of six the tiers there was different levels of rule of six. It was always six people outside in tier two. No one ran your house in tier three and six people inside inside. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people outside in tier two, no one ran your house in tier three and six people inside in tier one but the kids counted didn't there as a person but now you're allowed to visit one the parks and playgrounds are staying open right so me and you and you essentially could meet in a park to walk around it and I could bring my two kids and you could bring your kid and. And the kids don't count as a person, but they'll only count as a person when it's
Starting point is 00:13:48 rule of six after the 2nd December. But in Scotland they didn't count as a person, did they? I think in the UK, I think in England they count as a dog. So yeah, yeah, so we could essentially, I could drive up to a part near you and go for a walk with you and my two daughters. Totally. Also what we could do, Rob, is we could just meet up without the kids. Yeah, and just go for a walk.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Yeah, it'd be very rare that I'd say, do you want to meet up on Saturday and go for a walk? That feels like I've got a big thing to tell you, I'm in love with you. Can we go for just a walk? Okay, John. I feel like it's the end of the podcast. I just think I should bring in Alex Brooker and Adam Hills. But we are like, you know, we can still do TV shows and we can still do this and we can't tour yet or do any live comedy, which is a shame. But at some that we that we that we that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that's that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's. that's. that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the to. the the tou. the to. to. that's but exactly. Exactly what is I surprised by how little social life I think if this
Starting point is 00:14:50 had happened to me in 2016 before I'd had children I would have really felt the difference to my lifestyle. Yes yeah I feel that the youngsters out there the 18 year olds I feel sorry for. Oh Josh I've got to tell this is funny about when when Lou is in hospital right so basically they're the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I am I am I am I am I am I am I am surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi th thi th th th th. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I am surprised. I th is th. I th. I am surprised. I th. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I feel that the youngsters out there, the 18 year olds, 20 years I feel sorry for. Oh, Josh, I've got to tell this is funny about when Lou is in hospital, right? So basically when she was feeling a bit better, but she still couldn't eat, she was like, not allowed any just liquids only, I was at home and I was at home and I'd been getting a kid sort and I've got him to bedtell her what I was eating, you know, and stuff like that. And I thought about it. A big fat, dirty pizza just because you're a bit of comfort food, right? Keep talking.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Yeah, and then I thought I'd be great, right? And I've got some cycles, little chicken wings on the side as well. If I really treat myself, okay? So, pizza, I still do weird little things. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, th. th. to, to, to, to, the to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to. to. to. to.. to. to, to. th. t. to. t. t. A, t. t. A, to, to, to, to, to. to. the toda. the the toda. the toda. the toda. tole. to. to. out of my childhood of just you satiated food with happiness. I still do weird little things. The other day I've got this bit, Lego thing, right? A Lego thing I was playing with. I was doing some Lego. And I was doing it really quick and enjoying it.
Starting point is 00:15:54 And my brain went, don't do it too quickly, because Lego is expensive. you know, not without being showing off, but I can afford Lego now as a grown adult Josh, do you know what I mean? But as a kid who's expensive and I'd like, oh don't rush it and I was like, grow up Rob, this pathetic little child voice skit into my head. Oh wow. But anyway, so all of this big pizza because I sort of you know deal of emotions through food and food and drink. What diameter? What diameter are we talking about, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, don't, don't thi, don't thi, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't thi, don't thi, don't thi, don't tho, don't tho, don't tho, don't thoomoomo, don't thoomoomorrow, don't thoomorrow, don't tho, don't thooomorrow, don't inch. So it weren't the biggest one that they do but it weren't far off. And since you've ordered it with wings I'm going to guess not not one of the nicer pizza joints. 30 I wanted a grease pool. If you put it you could get for at least you know three three sheets of like you know that really thick plenty kitchen roll and it would still grease up. Yeah. It's the kind. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. So. So. So. kind of thing where if you're not drunk you're hating yourself for eating.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Oh yeah I mean immediately afterwards I'd self-hatred like eating it but on arrival I was buzzing. But we got one of them door bells, you know them doorbells where it films it and it does a motion sensor. Right. Right. And it goes through to your phone. Well, anyway. Who's that right so go open the door. Get the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. to. to. to. to. to. to. the door. to. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the the door. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thea. teat. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. the the the door, get me pizza, thank you very much. Sit down just about to eat it. Lou just went, who's out at the door? She's got the app on her phone. So she's in hospital of pancreatitis. Right? And cannot eat and be talking about what she wants to to try and eat. And to be like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to be to to be to to to to be to to to the their they, to to they, to eat, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat to eat to eat to eat the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the took, too, took, tooom., took, took, took, took, toooooometeenapot., took, the, right? You're not even that to drink alcohol for months. You have to, like, she's still on mashed potato and just like dry bread, even like a week after,
Starting point is 00:17:29 right? So, and she went, what did you do? And I said, have you ordered a takeaway? And I said, what would you prefer? I've ordered a taxed. So did she see the person on her phone? Yeah, so it comes up on a phone? So did she see that he was holding a pizza and wings? She just saw the bag, you know the heat bag, the keeps the heat.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Yeah, oh right. She didn't know. She didn't know. It could be anything. You know, there's so many like delivery people these days. Yeah, it could be anything. So she said what the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. There's there's there's there's there's. There's there's. There's. There's. There's there's there's there's there's there's so there's so there's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so there's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's so there's so there's so there's so there's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many. There's so there's so there's so there's. There's. There's so there's. There's some. There's so there's some. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the th. the the the the th. It's so many. the the the the there's so many. So there's so many. the the they. So she said, what have you ordered? And I just said seafood. She went, you're lying. She hates seafood. So I pretended I just ordered some cockles and welks. She knew. I mean, cockles and welks. Bobby Beckett's back on the bloody. Uh, he's back on the cockles of welks. My friend had that, actually. His wife was, um, she was on a Hendoo in Madrid. Yeah. And she, uh, he'd told told told told told told told told told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. the the their. told. to. to. to. to. to. to. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. told her that he was going to eat well and she got a phone
Starting point is 00:18:27 call from the delivery driver delivering his breakfast McDonald's. Oh wow that is bleak. That is that is bleak. I'm thrown out there breakfast McDonald's delivery house is too much. If you're that hung over you know just come on come off. Over Rob. I have ordered the dominoes at midday though. Have you? Yeah that was I literally. I I I I I I I I I I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th's at midday though. Have you? Yeah. That was, I literally, I literally waited for it to go like one minute past 12 and I rang. It was when you could ring and I rang and he went now. It'll take a little while because the ovens need to heat up. Oh, man. What does possible sound like for your business?
Starting point is 00:19:05 It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit A.X.C.S.P. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still
Starting point is 00:19:29 isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. a message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. I was walking to go to the park at 4 p.m. on Sunday and there was a delivery driver at the door of a house I walked past and I saw the door open a woman answered it
Starting point is 00:20:02 looking so hung over and he handed over a bag of roses tie food. And I just saw the door open, a woman answered it, looking so hung over and he handed over a bag of Rosa's Thai food. And I just thought, I am living such a different life from that person. A tie hung over on a sundae. There's even a name for that time of day. Like what is that? That's not like early dinner, late, late lunch. It's too late for late lunch. Also you know she'll have like three mouthfuls and go, you know what, I can't yet. I just can't yet. Do you want some emails? Yeah, let's have some emails, Joshua. It's the lockdown parroting mail bag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Hi Robin Josh. Please stop talking about cow tongues as it resurfaces a childhood trauma. Oh no. I'm on board with this.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I was eight years old. My aunt took me for a drive in the front seat of her convertible. Oh! We were whizzing through the South Yorkshire countryside with the top down. It's a great word for a convertible, isn't it? Whizzing along. It really creates an image, doesn't it? Through the South Yorkshire countryside with the top down, when she slows the car, when she slows the car to a stop because a huge brown cow has galloped down the road towards us.
Starting point is 00:21:17 The cow slowed as it neared the car when we could see its mouth was wide open, a huge tongue wagging and its eyes rolled back and its lulling head. It approached my passenger side and put its massive cowhead over the side of the car and slob it all over me as I tried to slide under the seat belt and carrying the footwell I can still feel its hot breath and see it spiraling eye. Huge tongue pressed against the glass of my aunt wound up the window. Oh, also that's such a like that was around the time of mad cow disease as well. Exactly. Exactly. The worst PR cows ever had that was. The cow, well the best for them. The cow ran on as the farmer passed on his tractor. In my memory he was wielding an axe and shouting sorry mad cow as he drove by.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I assume referring to the actual cow rather my aunt or me. Lovely bit of business at the end. Thank you for your podcast. It's provided me many last coping with our sleepless first baby for the last five months. That is an astonishingly good story. Superve stuff. Do you do you know what you don't realize what you're what you're bringing into people's lives when you think you're just having an innocent chat about cow tongues. In fact, Megan Kirby has been sent back to the worst trauma of her childhood. Rob, do you want an email called the Sudacrem incident? Oh do I ever, Sudacrum is so underrated. I can use it on all sorts. Any cut you got, Sudacrum.
Starting point is 00:22:46 This is from Tom Glover. Listening to the recent anecdote on your podcast about a baby frothing from the mouth after having all by soil rubbed into their gums. Reminded me of a tale from my childhood. When my younger sister was five stroke six, she was complaining to my parents about having a sore bum. As a parent, you're constantly applying pseudocrum to your baby's bums for nappy rash, but not so much as they get older.
Starting point is 00:23:10 My sister kept whining that her bum was sore. So my dad sent her to the bathroom with instructions of where to find the pseudocom. And to just apply liberally all over the area, and it would instantly feel better. My sister disappeared upstairs. 30 seconds later, the screams began. Oh no. She had got her creams confused and applied Vicks vapor rub to her tender area. Oh God, that is awful.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Vicks on what could only be described as a sawbumb, Rob. Oh my God, I mean, I think that's probably the worst thing. That or deep heat. If I could offer you, Vic's vapor rub or cow, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to the th, to th, th, to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threat, threats, threats, threats, threats, threats, threats, threats, threats, th's probably the worst thing. That or deep heat. If I could offer you Vicks vapor rub or cow licking your face, which do you go with? Oh God. What must- You genuinely? I've never heard you go so?
Starting point is 00:23:52 You're genuinely having a bit of a moment. I'm having a thinne. I'm having a to the thin. How much fix we're talking? But it's it might have splashed around a bit to the front as well. I'll take the Vix up the ass But I would not have it on the knob Is that fair? Yeah, do you think we've run out of ideas for the podcast? If it's Vix on the knob? If it's Vix on the knob I'd have a kowtang up the tongue than a vix on a knob If I'd rather have a cout thaun up I'll I'll I'll a th. th. th. If so so so so so. If if anyone, if anyone, if anyone, if anyone, if if if if if anyone, if if if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if anyone, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I'd th. If I'd th. If I'd th. If I'll, I'd th. If I'd th. If I'd not th. If I th. If I th. If I th. If I th. If I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the th. I the th. I, I th. I th. I, I th. I, I, I th. I th. If, I, I th. If, I th. If, I th. If I th. If I th. If th. If th. If th. If thi, is thi. If thi. If the the the the the that thi the thi thi thi's thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thithe Vix as I think I could just style out the Vix. You'd take the Vix anywhere, wouldn't you?
Starting point is 00:24:27 I'd take the Vix any. I think I'm hard enough to, that's the wrong word. Oh, Joshua. That sentence didn't go how I hoped. Right, should we get you out of this hell with some Instagram messages? Yes. Right. This is Laura Lee. I'm writing to thank you for inadvertently giving me a new parenting tool. I have a four-month-old baby who struggles to get to sleep. After try and all the usual tactics, I thought to myself, why not? And went in for the nose stroke. Oh, the nose strokes in and he was asleep. No. Outrageous, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:25:06 Four strokes in and he was asleep. It sounds like a girl texted her mate about a drunk date she had. Four strokes in and he went asleep, bastard. I thought it was a fluke, so I repeated the following day at nap time with the same degree of success. I now have to hope that he won't be asking me for his future partner for a no stroke as an adult. What have you begun? Wow, I can't believe it's actually worked for someone. I still don't believe, I still don't buy it. What the no stroke, I mean we've got actual
Starting point is 00:25:36 evidence, that no stroke works? You say Laura Lee's a liar? No, I'm not saying Laura Lee's a liar, because I can barely say it. But I'm saying it's too small a sample size. Okay, fair lot. Any other nose stroke is out there let me know. Yeah, just send in an email, re-nosestroking. Rob, should I give you three options of email name? Would you enjoy that? Yeah, go on.
Starting point is 00:26:00 You can either have, fuck me phonics, top tip to get the TV switched off without a fuss, or unusual childhood milestones. I like the miles, give me milestones. I'm a Welsh woman living in New Zealand and I've been here so long now. Love sheep, absolutely love sheep, cannot move from back home or on a new home. I got licked in the face by a sheep. I loved it. Actually better than a cow I'd say. So I'm a Welsh woman living in New Zealand and I've been here so long now nine years that I've forgotten how strange some of their customs are. Birthday parties in New Zealand aren't complete without fairy bread and asparagus rolls.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Oh. Fairy bread is white bread covered in margarine and sprinkles. Sprinkles? So his sprinkles like hundreds and thousands, I suppose. A bit like a sort of iced finger, but instead of icing just margarine. Yeah. Okay. Asparagus rolls is tinned asparagus, individually wrapped in pieces of white bread. Oh, no wonder they all fucking go to Clapton and live from New Zealand. I would too, that sounds horrific.
Starting point is 00:27:07 The other thing, not birthday related, is a cultural hatred of shoes. Yeah, they do this in Australia. They hate shoes. Hate might be a strange word, but basically people and kids in particular don't wear shoes in the summer. My husband tells me that at school you'd be looked at funny., to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th..... I, th.. And, th... And, th... And, th. And, th. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, thi. I, thee, thee, thee, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. tho. thea, the. And husband tells me that at school you'd be looked at funny if you turned up to cross-country running with shoes. Convinced that barefoot running would make you faster. Oh, I didn't know about that.
Starting point is 00:27:34 There is nothing stranger than being at the mall with people walking past shoeless. Yeah, that when I was in Australia, working, I noticed that, there'd be people just walking in the Apple shop shop tho. Yeah, like a proper, and it's not like, oh, beachside shops, right? I'm talking proper, like you've driven to an industrial estate to go to the big shops, like the big blue or a lakeside, you know, Arndale type place, yeah? And you get, park, park, barefoot, go in the mall, barefoot, go into Apple Shop, Barefoot, buy an iPad, barefoot. That, that can't. I mean, I'm sure some shoe shops have had people walking barefoot and go, I need your help. But what have you stepped on something?
Starting point is 00:28:13 They don't, they live free, don't they? They don't have to step on, there's so much space. barefoot guy though. I love being barefoot and yeah, yeah, not in like a fetish way, but just like I don't like me too. But they love it, the thongs or flip-flops in Australia and New Zealand, but yeah, I've seen that in the shops and I thought it was mental. But even the food shop, barefoot, it's mad. Could I just say I didn't think it was a fetish thing until you brought it up? But I don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I don't thin, thin, I don't thin, I don't, I don't, I don't, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thoom. Thea, tho, tho, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu. Th. Th. Thn't th. Thn't th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, th. Th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thoom. Thoomu. Thoomu. Thoomu. Thooma. Thooma. Thooma. Thooma. Thooma. Thooma, thooma, thoome, ththink it's a thing but I think it's sort of still frowned upon a bit like in the summer when you see a geyser bare-chested driving a car or a van when the window open. That is like not acceptable really. I'd do it. I'd say the worst human beings are topless.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Yeah, but if they're ripped it's a topless. Yeah, but if they're ripped it's, I'd the worst, I I I's a the worst, I's a the worst, I's a the worst, I's a their, I's a th, I's a th, I's a th, I's a th, I's a th, I's a the, I's a the, thease, thease, thease, thease thease, thease thease, the, thease, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thease thee thease-a.ease-a.ease-seaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseererer's theaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseease were as ripped as Andy Peters, I'd be jogging everywhere topless. And if I'm going, oh my god, is that Andy Peters? And I go, no, I'm just ripped like him? And I go, no, I'm just ripped like him. Um, so I wonder if I'm just a thipeas. that he's our shorthand for Andy Peet's. Oh, well, I've got an in for Andy Peters, Rob I know who I'm working with. You want Andy Peters, I'll get you Andy Peters. Do you mean? You're the stiff-knit connection. I'm the light-ents connection. Yeah. Do you want Melvin Bragg? I can get you him. Just to be clear, I can't. I can't get you in Chico? I have actually, have I ever told you this? I once prank called Chico. Did th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thu, I thu, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thr- I th, I th, I to to to to to to to to to to th, th, the the the the the the th, the the the th, the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th. the, the, the, thin, thin, the, the, thr-a, thrown, that, thrown, to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi, It was in the green room of the last leg. Oh you crazy guys. And we were drunk Rob. Oh you're at 1.30 in the morning. Oh stop. On a Friday night. Oh imagine that. 10 p.m. The curfews to be. We haven't even got that anymore. One 30. Doing whatever you want. Someone brings up. Oh, Chico. too. thi. the thrown. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr- thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. true. true. true. true. time. time. time. time. time. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. th. thr. thr. th. th. th've got Chico's number. Oh you rung him, oh poor Chico. Rung him, half one in the morning, he picks up the phone, we say what time is it? He says it's Chico time, conversation ends. No, yes. Good good on Chico. Yeah, oh yeah, you've got to give Chico absolutely full credit on that. He's always on. It's always on. It's Chico time. the thirty. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. the the the time. the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. ti. ti. ti. the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. that. He's always on. It's always on. It's Chico time. One thirty in the morning, his phone rings. Someone asks what time is. He says it's Chico time but he goes
Starting point is 00:30:28 back to sleep. Yeah. Right. I've got another one here Josh. Okay. Last one. There we go. This is the headline. Well it's actually quite a short one this one. So anyway a lot of people have been in contact. Second to last one. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot to. A to. A to to to to to th. A th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. th. It is. It is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. the the the the thi. the the the the th Second to last. A lot of people have been in contact with the same message. Hi, Rob and Josh, I'm listening to your latest episode. And I thought Josh said, his parents live in heaven. And found out, the show, end. And found out. theymea. Which is fun. Bit of fun that.
Starting point is 00:31:06 It would be such a weird way to address that your parents had been like. It's like what a child would say, isn't it? And you're like, you're like, what, you're 36th now? You like, you know, they live in heaven? I'm like, okay, just for listeners, I can confirm in, I'm the of everything, you know when all that people go like, oh yeah man, just want to live in hell? Like, you know, all the cool guys are in hell. Like, me and my mates, we've got like a sick sense of humor, like, we'd go to hell and like be a great laugh. And I sort of agree, and like, you know, because if you're in hell with like your mates and you're sitting at the burning pits of hell with someone, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. sat on a cloud with a square than in the burning pits of hell with
Starting point is 00:31:46 someone who's a bit of a laugh. Yeah, because you might have someone who's a bit of a laugh, but then there would be like an actual horrendous person just around the corner. You know, sat on a cloud with Cliff Richard, I'll take it. Yeah, rather me and, you know, f-shund he walks in with Cat Bin Lady. Cat thin Lady is a much better example. Me and Catbin Lady are sitting there having a right old laugh and then, you know, fuck walks in, ruining the mood.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Right, what, you got the one more for us, Josh? Yeah, should I give you three titles? Yes, please. thrown, thii. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate. thate, thate, thate, thate, thate, thate, thi, thate, thate, that, that-a, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thatu and thatu and thatu. thatu. thatu. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that. that, that. that. that. that. that. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha introducing the Beatles. Yeah, well wedding shame. Oh wedding shame, I love shame. I'd love it if introducing the Beatles to someone going, I've got into this great new band actually, you should really get into them. Yeah, my kids love them. Hi, Josh and Rob, this is from Julie Ebbdon. This is a good new way to do the emails actually, isn't it? But I will read them in future before reading them out. It's just just. their. their. Oh yeah. No, you've been busy at last leg. I've had, we've had hospitalizations in the Beckett House. We've been doing other jobs. I did just filming for my YouTube channel the other day, took all day,
Starting point is 00:32:53 and then someone stole a bag off the poor cameraman that had load of footage in. Oh my work. Poor bloke. Anyway, let's not get you know, we've we've we've wea, we've all the the th, we've all th, we've all all th, we've all all all all all all all all all all th, we're all th, we're all th, we're all tho, we're all th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. We're thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. tho. tho. Poor bloke. Anyway, let's start getting, you know, we're all having bad times. We're all having stressful situations. It is a stressful time. This is Julia Ebdon. My kids are all adults now, but I'd like to tell you at the time when my now 22-year-old Georgia was two or three. My partner Mark, George and we had an especially, they're not going to heaven, and we had an especially wriggly toddler in tow. So not much scope for
Starting point is 00:33:31 any good times. We already had the hump, in other words. George was on Mark's lap, he attempted to keep her quiet and still during the stupidly long and boring service. It was also proper cold in there too. Mark was struggling and losing his rag while I tried to act as if I wasn't with them. This continued for at least 45 minutes all of a sudden during a particularly silent moment George's voice rang out echoing through the whole church. She said, I'm not a little bastard daddy. I'm not a little bastard. I piss myself in laughing as Mark stood up and swiftly left the building. I'm not a little bastard, Daddy. It was the best thing of the whole wedding and the bride and groom are now divorced.
Starting point is 00:34:14 What a lovely thing to end on, one of the bleakest weeks of our lives. If you want to get in touch, this is how. Email us, hello at lockdownparentin.co.uke, or tweet us at lockdown parents, or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting. And you can also send us stuff, PO box 76748, London E99DW. Well, Rob, it's been an absolute pleasure. Oh, I loved it, mate. And just thank you so much for all the people getting in contact.
Starting point is 00:34:49 We really appreciate it. And please, we love reading them on. Subscribe and like and like and review on a but yeah, we don't say that enough. Yeah, you please. It helps with all the ratings and in the charts and stuff like that and other people can see it and come aboard and join this little crew. So thank you very much and we'll see you on Tuesday. Have another episode. Cheers guys. Bye.

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