Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP67: "You can't ride a T-Rex with wet hair..."

Episode Date: December 15, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S01 EP67: "You can't ride a T-Rex with wet hair..."More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If yo...u want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:43 A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robbecki. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation, and to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills, each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with. Oh, I went too early, Rob. I went too early. Oh, no. Sorry, but here we go. Say just with the Kim. Say it. What does it come? Just would you say it, Isaac? Can he say Rob Beckett? Yeah. Rob Beckett, just with us. There we go. Oh, lovely. That is Ada and Isaac, who are the niece and nephew of Susie Ruffle, our friend and a wonderful comedian. Comedian Susie Ruffle. So there we go. Oh, look at that.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I would never imagine that Suzy Ruffles' niece and nephew would be called Ada and Isaac from the story she tells. No, exactly. She's a complete fraud. niece and nephew would be called Ada and Isaac from the story she tells. I'd expect to the Terry and June. She's a complete fraud. She's a complete fraud. Oh dear, that's lovely. Good old Susie, she's got a great podcast with Tom Allen called Lightminded Friends that you've ever listened to ours and bought everything we've advertised.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Exactly. Do go back and re-listen to them. Our ones, yeah. I'd say if you could all go back and listen to them twice, that'd be great. Josh, is an exciting day for the podcast. Yeah? I've bought a laptop. Oh. Because I don't want to give away the magic of our podcast it is made these days, but I've been using my wife's eight-year-old. computer and then every time we try and record an episode sometimes it crashes sometimes me and Lou argue because she needs it for admin and when I say
Starting point is 00:03:08 admin she needs she likes to do what's up from her laptop sometimes. Oh that is that is one of life's great pleasures. What's up from the laptop is like it's like a hot bath. I love Tick Tock in bed. I don't want to write your bloody private life too, I'm really. No, I like, I like, if I have a shower before bed sometimes, yeah, getting all clean with nice clean sheet and I'll go up a bit early, sometimes like quarter to ten and I'll have forty-five minutes of tick-to-to-toc. Which, you know, sure, I'm not sleeping properly properly through the night because my brain's getting a minute burst of excitement, banter or nudity, but I'm tick-tocking baby until 1030pm.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Does that mean that you're just watching Tick-Tox? Yeah, I don't make Tick-Tox, I just watch them. I did a few, I can't really be bothered. All right, you're a voyeur. I'm a voyeur. But I've got this this to do laptop, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, I'm th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm th, I'm th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, to me, thi, thi, thi, thi, it. I think I might have to book a genius appointment like sort of like a middle-aged aren'ty? Oh no. I just don't get computer, I don't understand how it all works. I'm not really needed computers. But then those buttons, they're not alphabetical. They're put in an order that's actually easier for when you're typing. Yeah, yeah, that, that, that was an absolute nightmare. But I've th th th th th th th th th th. I I th. I th. That th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. the th. I th. I th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I don't they. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I. the, I. the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, th. I don't know't, th. Don't, I don't, th. Don't, I don't, I don't, I don't really used computers Josh I know we joke about stiff-neck but I don't really write anything down so I'll base it soon as I've used the computer Rob. No no I've used a computer but I haven't used a computer to watch Netflix or go on YouTube but I don't use a computer for I don't save documents and all I don't do what do you do your emails on my phone I do it all I just do it all to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th thi try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. I try. I the. I the the th. I don't do, I have saved documents and all. So what do you do your emails on?
Starting point is 00:04:45 My phone, I do it all, I just do it all of my phone because I used to travel around doing gigs. And also, when I first started in common, I thought I won't need a computer, will I could just be, I could just do stand up, like some sort of beat poet, but no, the pandemic's hit. Also, we should say for listeners, every time we interview someone of importance on Zoom, you've got Louise Beckett written as your name.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I know, I've got to change out. I'm like one of the builders and their wife does their invoicing. And then you just, a big geese does it and you have to like email, Lynn at AOL. Hello, Lynn. Anyway, but I've got a computer and it's all snaz. It's got like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to th. to their. I've th. I've to. I'm to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I I've. I've. I I've. I I've. I've. I I've. I've. I've. I. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. I've. I've. I've. I've got a computer and it's all snazzy. It's got like a computerised bar. Because before we started this, I was like, Josh, I can't hear you. My sound, but it worked out, you wasn't near the mic. Yeah, I wasn't near the mic.
Starting point is 00:05:35 So we're both as bad as each other. Well, I'm glad you've joined the, well, the late 20th century. I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the to to the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoomome. thoome. th. thoomorrow, thoome. thoome. told, told, told, told, told, told. told, told, th. th. I's, th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, th. I's, th. I's, the. I'm, the. I'm, the. I'm, th th th th th th th th th th th toeanananananea. th th thiia. th thi. thi. th th I'm going to tell you now something for free. You will get very annoyed that it doesn't have a ability to, you need an adapter to plug in everything that isn't that apple-shaped cable. Mate, it looks, like I bought it and it looked like a spaceship. Now it looks like it's in the intensive care unit of a hospital. There's wires coming out of it. It's nightmare. It don't look cool anymore. You don't say I'm just keeping it alive. I bought mine in America, so I've also, I've still got an American plug socket.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I wish I used dollars more than pounds because I have the ability to do that much better on my computer. I've got them, because we've just realized that we should be recording, this is so boring podcast show, we're supposed to be like recording it on our laptops but I've not been doing that so if there's a problem with the system. Oh I should tell you Rob you've never listened to it, you've never gone out. Oh yeah, imagine that. It's just you edit me to completely butchering me to please. The sound of me having a breakdown on my own. That's what my show is. I mean the problem is I've already lived the life and I've just remembered telling it on the pocket because I can't really live
Starting point is 00:06:47 my child my kids lives three times in a row. It's too much in it. No exactly. You don't you're not listening to this. I've had an excellent excellent, well tough week. Well, tough week? Well I'd say Friday was probably the best day of my life. Aren't you know last week of isolation or something or last few days or you're done now? Rob, Friday was the day it was announced that it was going from 14 to 10 days isolation. Oh my god you've been given four days back. I've been given a you know when a prisoner gets remanded for good behavior. So you're four days. Let me paint the picture of my life, Rob. Go on. Not the whole thing, but just this section of it.
Starting point is 00:07:32 So the last leg has ended on the last Friday before Christmas every year for the last five years. Which has been really, like, so I've been working up to like the 23rd one year, 22nd, that kind of thing. Yeah. Always so panicked. I'm not going to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to to to to to to to to to to to do my my to like the 23rd one year, 22nd, that kind of thing. Yeah. Always so panicked that I'm not going to get to do my Christmas shopping done, not going to get anything done. This year, they decide to finish a week earlier, the 11th. And for the last three or four months, all I've been thinking is, I've got that week to myself and nursery is still open. Oh yeah! And all of the year, all of the lockdown is heading towards that week. So you're basic, you've been looking forward to this week.
Starting point is 00:08:13 For so long. This week is so long. Because you can meet friends in beer gardens and get drunk after shopping and stuff like that. And I've had a writing deadline which I finished my, was due in the same day as the last leg, last week, Friday, and then I'm done except for a couple of zoom-based gigs. And then last week, the absolute hammerblower of the 14 days meant that the only day that she would be going to nursery when I wasn't working would be the coming Friday. And I had three Zoom gigs on that day, so I had no time. So when, so, and th. So, so th. So, and th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, I, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm the, I'm the, I'm thr- thr- thrid, I'm thri' thri' thri' thri- thri- thri- thri- thri- th, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thr-up, I'm thr-I thrific, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, would be the coming Friday and I had three
Starting point is 00:08:45 zoom gigs on that day so I had no time. So when it was reprieved and now Sunday midnight was the end of our lockdown. I'll see you're free now? I've got the week back. I've got the week back. I felt genuinely emotional on Friday. Oh lovely. I'm not going to lie to you Rob this morning. Ten days she's been locked in the house. She thozy. She th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, Rob. thi, Robe, Robe, Robed. to be, Robed. to be, Robed. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the. the the. the the. the thee. theee. the. the. the. th you Rob this morning. Ten days she's been locked in the house. She doesn't want to go out. Oh no! I can't not believe it. She's like the old bloke from Shawshank. It's all too loud. You're just like, come on mate, ten days you've been stuck in here listening to Magic Christmas for eight hours a day. Oh dear, but she's nursery for the last few days? She's a nursery. We've treated ourselves to all four. Oh, I think that's fair off the back of isolation ahead of Christmas. I think that's fine.
Starting point is 00:09:36 She normally does Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, but Thursday they're having Christmas dinner. So, yeah, she wouldn't want to miss that Rob. No absolutely ecstatic when you could use that as a bargaining chip for your own your own self-worth and worries. It's not that bad is it is it is it Rose if you send her in is it because it's Christmas as well so you you want not to get rid of her we love her really they don't believe but it's an extra day. I was pushing for the Monday as well Rob Rob, but I was over a rule, but I'm not going to laugh. Mine finished on Friday and Thursday lunchtime. So we've been quite lucky really because we've had no isolations.
Starting point is 00:10:15 No, no one's had it in both preschool and in primary school. So we've been very lucky to be very lucky. Oh, that is lucky. But yeah, but we've been busy though otherwise. I've been both their birthdays in December. So a week apart, we've got one tomorrow, and then the one was last week. And it is just when you're busy, like during the week of work, and then you do stuff, we did something on the Saturday. We went to a wildlife park on the Saturday tapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap. to to park on the Saturday. I used to be a bit anti-zoo's and feel a bit guilty about caged animals, but since lockdown, I'm sort of like fair's fair, do you know me?
Starting point is 00:10:49 We're both going through it. They call us groovics. You've been locked up, we've been locked up. You know, you look at us, we'll look at you. Let us, let's call it even. This is the way the way the way the way the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, I, I, the way, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, tho, tho, tho. It's, tho. It's, tho. tho. thoo. tho. tho. tho. tho. th tho. tho. I'm, tho. I'm, tho myself, which is that so I did a little voiceover thing for London Zoo and to kind of promote that it was back open. There's quite a few comics that did it, but David Attenborough was one of the people backing it and I'm like if he thinks it's all right, then it must be great, right? Well, yeah, I that's the power of him. If I was him, I'd be desperate to sort of push something
Starting point is 00:11:29 or advertise something that was horrific just to see if I could get away of it. Well Rob you've done that with your own career. No actually I've been quite reserved. It's the back end when I'm going to go mental start doing them like post-code lottery adverts. So have you done the birthdays? So yeah, so we've done the birthday. Because we've not seen my mom and dad for a little today because they're down in the fan here, we met my mom and dad at a wildlife park out in the open and then did social distance while we were there but then they could see the kids, seeing the animals. So we we they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their th. So we're th. So we're doing tho. So we're doing tho. So, their. thoes. I thoes. So, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, thi. And, yeah, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, so, so, so, so, so, th animals. So we're doing all that. And you know the little things you put your head through for photos? Right? Oh yeah, yeah, of course. My dad, 76, diabetic and no spleen, so he's quite
Starting point is 00:12:10 susceptible, just pops his head through for a photo. I said, how many heads have gone through that? Well, what are you doing, you lunatic? It's good to be able to when they say where do you think you got it, you can produce the photo. Oh God, well I'll tell you what, I'll let you know in 10 days. Yes, we did that on the Saturday and then Sunday we went, oh it's quite good actually I'd recommend this, a bus tour through London, a pepper pig themed bus. So it's a big old red bus. So it's a big old red bus and it's, tapapapapap's Baker I think they're called and it's quite a nice bakery so the food's really nice so the food's really nice you get afternoon tea on the bus with your kids and there's a little like iPad and it's like a pepper pig episode showing you the sites of London as you drive past them. That's good music plan and the that music plan and there's music music playing there's music playing there's music playing there's music playing there's music playing there's music playing there's music playing there's music playing the music playing the music playing the music playing the music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing music playing the music playing music playing music playing music playing music music playing the music music music music music music music music music music playing the the the music playing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their music playing their their music playing their music playing their their music playing their music playing their their their their music playing their their their music playing their their their their their music playing their music playing their their music playing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. There's the closest I've been to a night out in a year. But what happened was it's all right and it's not cheap, it's a bit prices, there's a bit middle class right on there and a little bit of sort of like a slightly ashamed of in Denal that their
Starting point is 00:13:13 kids like pepper instead of some sort of like you know posh thing. But like we've got stuff booked right. But like we've got stuff booked. their to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's not th. th. It's not tho' thi. It's not tho' tho' tho' tho' th. It's not their their their their their their their their their th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not th. It's not the the th. It's not're supposed to go to Center Parks for New Year's Eve, right? Which could be cancelled if we're going to tier three because we can't do that because you can't travel, right? So we was a bit fed up with that and then we're trying to to pre-order drinks for the afternoon tea and to get one or a glass one. I'll get the bottle right yeah whatever I just sort of said it in a sort of spur of the moment thing right anyway that's fun but when you get on the bus and no other parents drinking and you're in the cooler and they start popping champagne like you're in a club in Essex. Oh no oh no! That was awful. That was awful. And then like we try to... Like you want some labs go dating? Yes, I've got like... Providing a sniffing commentary on yourself. Yeah, so with that bouncing around on this bus because the suspension's not great is it like
Starting point is 00:14:12 with this bottle little glass of champagne and then oh my god I felt a bit embarrassed to be that that couple drinking. There's some people that have gone home with an anecdote there, for sure. For sure. Also the kids like, we took them on the train, their hands are of everywhere. It's impossible to keep a kid social distancing, isn't it? Like, they're just, it's insane. It's so hard. Well, it's quite easy with my kid because she's never leaving the house again, seemingly. She's got stuck home, that's their their their their their their their. their. thiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. their. their. thi. thi. train. train. train. train. train. train. We's, train. train. train. train. train. too. too. too. It's train. It'sman until Christmas day. She's implemented her own ruling. That's a very job, that is a very Widdicum. Very widdicum that is, yeah, that's something, you have
Starting point is 00:14:50 your nice little things you like doing at certain points don't you? I feel like you're quite if we do that then and then that's nice type of. Yeah, but come on mate we want to watch the snow, let's the snow, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's thi, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that's a very, that is, that is a very, that is, that is a very. that is, that is, that is, that is, that is a very. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that is a very, thi, that's a very, thin, thin, thin, that's a very wooooooooooomorrow, that's a very, that's a very woooooo any Christmas films until Christmas day and you're like, mate. Oh no, that's not right though. It's as good as over by that point. Yeah, you're tapping out. The build-ups the best fit. The Christmas day is the start to come down, isn't it? The Christmas day is actually the most heartbreaking day of the year, and then you think, oh no, 365 days until it's the furthest you are from Christmas. That's why I feel sorry for my kids December birthdays. It's too much fun at once. Yeah, they've got nothing to look forward to for another 11 months.
Starting point is 00:15:33 And then my birthday, second of Jan. Why were you so roundly in March? That is a problem. Do you know what I just love to bang early spring. What can I say? I don't know what it is. I don't know what the virus. First sign of a lamb and you're away. Yeah. Basically, I sort of get warmed up Valentine's Day and it takes me a couple of weeks to get into the mood. And then I'm raring to go in March. I've always, I've always been like that. I'm not going back to university to be your the the the the the the to be the to be the to be the to be the the the to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm the the the the the the the the the thuber. I'm thoer. I'm thoer. I'm the the the thea. I'm to to to to to to to to the their. I'm their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I'm tube. I'm tubea. I'm tube. tya. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tog. tip. tip. today. I've t tto university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students.
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Starting point is 00:16:29 Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply. Rob, we should say what our plan is over Christmas, the podcast, which is, so this is next Friday Christmas. So next week, we've got our episodes normally on Tuesday and Friday. We're switching back so our interview with Philip a Perry is on Tuesday and then we'll do a special Christmas Day episode. Yeah. But with Christmas Day, Rob, coming up.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I do feel like we need to discuss the amount of emails we've got about your trampoline situation. Oh, is it gone up again? Have you developed at all? Right, yes, so the situation is as thus. Louise Beckett, my wife, is in complete denial. She is refusing, she is like, she is like in the Trump administration in mid-march,
Starting point is 00:17:17 the trampoline building is a hoax, as far as she concerned. Oh no. No. as far as she concerned. She thinks it'll be fine, where everyone's overreacted. I'm trying to tell her about the emails, even people on the WhatsApp school group are telling her it's stressful. So the situation as stands is I've got some family coming over Christmas Eve, part of the bubble, then Lou is taking the kids out at 2 p.m. And because they're coming around for a morning thing, and then my dad and brother I think, I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooe. thi. thi. thoomoomoomorrow, thoomoom's, thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. So, th. th. th. tha. tha. And, th. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, th. and because they're coming around for like a morning thing and then my dad and brother I think are going to help me build it. Okay, so you're not flying alone. So I'm not flying alone. So the situation is from 2 p.m. Christmas Eve, me and my brother will attempt to build it with my dad shouting instructions.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Right, let me take through some emails. Should I start with some emails. Should I start with a positive? Oh, I, I, I, I, I, to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. to to throooi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi,this. I know this because I have done it. Oh. Like you, I set out to build a trampoline for my niece and nephew on Christmas Eve against all odds. Your wife will tell you it can't be done solo, quite the opposite. Yeah. She'll offer to help then tell you it's impossible. It's all right, you t help. That was another suggestion by the way was that you build it in your neighbor's garden Rob in the days before but do you know you're what neighbors
Starting point is 00:18:28 well enough? Sort of but my kids will be able to see it and they'll be able to see it in the next door. Yeah and then what if they go go I really don't want a trampo the trampoline? No but they'll just be like Christmas their Christmas day. Oh what so you just they're just Christmas has stolen a trampoline from next door. And also they'll be like, why is your 91-year-old neighbor got a trampoline in her garden? Even a grandkids are grown up? What's the trampoline doing? So, Nick did it solo in 42 minutes, 39 seconds. Oh, all right, that's the time I've got to be. What is that an eight-footer? How big does it say? He didn't say. It doesn't say. Okay. So
Starting point is 00:19:08 So, 42 minutes. This person, I've assembled my daughter's 10-foot tramp. How big's yours? I think it's eight foot, you know. Right. It's smaller so, yeah. I would recommend a ratchet strap. so, yeah. I would recommend a ratchet strap. thap. thap thap the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's thy. It's th say, it's th say th say th say th say th say th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's th say. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty-a. It's thirty thirty-a. It's thirty thirty-a. It's say. It's thirty th you pull and attach the strings around it. What the hell is a ratchet strap? I'm going to send your picture. Oh, that thing. It looks pretty heavy duty. 4,000 kilograms. How big do I need? Four tom.
Starting point is 00:19:35 So it basically looks like a kind of heavy duty bit of climbing equipment, really, doesn't it? I am awful. My daughter got a bike. birthday and she'd have got it by the time this goes out and that took me three hours to do. Oh really? We're doing bike for Christmas I didn't know it was a thing. I am useless. I haven't got any tools. I just have to use what they send me but now I've got to buy ratchet strap. Mate you're in serious trouble here. There's someone here at Victoria Hoyle who suggests you dressing as Father Christmas while you do it. So that if they see you, then your wife can say that it's, it is Father Christmas putting it up. But from a PR point of view, I think it's just going to do the terrible things
Starting point is 00:20:14 for Father Christmas's PR if they just see me screaming and swearing. Also, I'll be completely clean shaven because I've got to do a drag episode of Rommish. I've got to shave my beard off again which makes me look like mad aren't he? No no no you could wear a fake beard. Okay, all right then. Well now I'm not dressing as I'm getting stressed now Josh. Can we talk about something else? Okay. So we move on. Look guys, I'm gonna get ratchet strap and let you know how we get on. How long could the krake to the kids to get r r r r rra to get ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to get to get to get you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you the th. th. thrap thrap thrap thrap thrap thr. thr. thr. thr. thr thr thr to thr thr to to the thr the to the thr. the the you you you you you you you out of the house from two, what's your deadline? At that point, I don't think that's the issue because they could come back with all the curtains drawn, but my issue is daylight. Your issue is daylight, of course. That's what I'm fighting against the sun.
Starting point is 00:20:56 But look, this is what we're doing. I'm getting a ratchet strap. There's been a be there, it'll be absolutely fine and what we're going to do is we have the last episode and we're going to have a couple of weeks off aren't we going to come back in mid-Jan but I reckon we should maybe do a New Year's Eve a New Year's Day episode and we can catch everyone up on Christmas and let them know what up on the trampoline. Great idea. Do you think that's a good idea? I can actually I could record I could record record record record record record record record record record record record record record record record record record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some to record some live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live live. good some updates some voice updates on the trampoline as it goes and can I ask what your alcohol how much alcohol will be in your blood during the trampoline okay so the plan is to have an espresso martini with my brother pre-build
Starting point is 00:21:34 just to hype us up and then I'm not going to start drinking any more until it's a bit more looking looking like it's jump-honorable but then on Christmas day I will just be drunk from the morning all day so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I will just be drunk from the morning all day. So that's that's going to be my Christmas alcohol intake. Yeah, fair enough. I look forward to hearing how it goes. Would you like an update from, do you remember the couple who we asked for more info? The husband broke his arm and he was made to go and sleep on the sofa. Yes, from ages ago this was, wasn't it? Yeah, so this is Rebecca Price says, hello, Robin Josh, in answer to your questions, he was banished to the sofa as I was worried I might accidentally roll over onto the broken arm.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Still doesn't say why it's him. Yeah, I still think she should go downstairs. I was rather miffed as not only to to to to be birthday, but there was two, we were two weeks off moving house and we hadn't started packing. He was as helpful with the packing as a newborn baby. We've now moved and have since upsized from a double to a king and he's back in the bed. Yeah, I am very much on the side of the broken-armed man here. I don't want to make this a gender war. She's also added, it was bloody freezing for him on the sofa and he used a thermal sleeping bag like he was camping. This is one of the bleakiest stories I've ever heard Josh. Let no way on earth to someone with a broken bone be forced to sleep in a sleeping bag on a sofa in case that their partner rolls on them. That is not acceptable. Let him get some sleep with his broken up. And also, he's got a broken arm.
Starting point is 00:23:05 He's not going to be able to move out. I'm sorry if it messes your schedule up, but get some movers in or some help. You can't just, you just got to accept that. I think that's unfair on him. I'm saying the man who's putting up his own trampoline on Christmas Eve. Yeah, I know, but if I had a broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken to break the to break to break the the to break the to break the the the the to break the their their their to be to be their their to be their their their their their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their true. I. I's their their the. I's the. I's get helping. Well, that might be one of your options, Rob. That might be one of your better options would be to break your arm to get some help in. Oh God, I used to do jobs I hated and I used to think sometimes, if I just like broke my leg, I'd get loads of time off. That's bleak, do'd get out of this. Josh, I've got a message for you.
Starting point is 00:23:51 This is from Isaac, Scruffy Josh. This is entitled. Hello, after listening to Rob's parents' opinion on Josh being scruffy on tele, I didn't quite believe it, but tonight I've stumbled across an old YouTube video of Rob and Josh playing FIFA where it looks like Josh has very greasy hair. I've just got out the shower. Well before you get all aggy and defend yourself let's finish the email Josh is there a story behind this? Has Josh got out the shower is it copious amounts of gel has Josh not showed for days was it okay to be featured on YouTube looking like this so many questions that I need answer it I I the the the the the the the the the the the the th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. I to be. I. I. I to be. I. I the the the the the the the the th. I. I'm. I'm the. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just so many questions that I need answering. I've attached a screenshot from the video and this is my YouTube
Starting point is 00:24:27 channel if you want to go and subscribe. We'll tweat and Instagram that but yeah you do look like you've just got out the swimming pool your hair is soaking wet. So when my hair's longer like that if I dry it with a towel it just goes into a ball so so I have to kind of let it dry naturally so I can't really be having a shower within an hour of appearing on a YouTube channel and I've obviously mistimed it. So you can't so what happens if you dry your hair with a hair dryer? Oh mate it's like that episode of friends where Monica goes to Hawaii or wherever they go and her hair goes all big it's that? So do you use a towel a tow a tow tow tow tow. a tow. tow. tow. tou tou tou? the. the. tthe. thea ttttttttttttttttttttau. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try. I I I I I I I I try. I to. I to. I to. I to. to. to. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. the. tow. tow. the. tow. tow. I'm tow. I tow. hair goes all big. It's that. So do you use a towel or you just completely leave it? But now because it's shorter now so just use a towel and then put product in it. Yeah, but when it's longer. I used to pat it down with a towel but don't give it the scrub and then you have to leave it.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Because I used to see you sometimes in some. obviously was busier and we're just starting out comedy running around to places and you would have so cute wet hair running from like to a gig where you've obviously had a shower late but then would you would you have a shower early? I once did a gig when it was snowy and I'd a shower just before I went out this was actually my first ever preview for my first ever Edinburgh show yeah and it was like January or whatever so it was snowing. And my hair froze on the way to the tube because it was still wet. Really? Yeah, it was so cold. And my hair was wet that it froze like I encircult. Imagine doing that so I just ruffled your air that you didn't realise I got to the king and then halfway from the kick you were bold. On fails, so this is called massive parenting fail from Rachel White. Hi there Josh and Rob,
Starting point is 00:26:22 love your podcast. Thank very much. I thought you'd appreciate my massive parenting fail this week. My son is 12 and it was Christmas Jumper Day at school. While I was out shopping I saw some Christmas socks. Bought him them as a treat for him to wear as well. Yesterday he returned from school, saying he he been a laughing stock. And did he realize what was on the socks? And were they supposed to be like that? I'm going to send you... How old is he? Twelve.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Oh, 12's a tricky age as well. Yeah, it's a tricky age as well. I got bullied for high-tech socks at school and it still scales me. Well, I'd say this is worse. I've sent it through. Oh my god, so that there's elves having sex. Yeah, it's full of elves having sex in different sexual positions. Oh my god, imagine having elf porn socks at school. But there's all- It's like cartoon elves, just to be clear. Oh yeah, they're not humans. They're just having fun.
Starting point is 00:27:18 But if you look closer, one's getting done doggy, one's giving one a blowjob, one sitting on the other's face, which I didn't even know that's the thing that two bloats could do. I didn't know that's an option. The graphic socks. I mean... No, but they're subtly graphic because they're full-clothed elves and it just looks like shapes, but you can see a pixelated elf bulge. This poor kid wore them to school. thoom. their, oh, oh, oh, oh, their, oh, oh, oh, their, oh, their, oh, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the graphic, their, the graphic, their, their, the graphic, their, their, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, the graphic, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their graphic, their graphic, their graphic, their graphic, their graphic, their graphic, their graphic, tho, their graphic, their, thoooooo, their, their, their graphic, their, their graphic, their, the energy of fever that would run through a classroom when someone in PE?
Starting point is 00:27:48 But you're in the PE changing rooms, it stinks of lynx Africa, right? People are after, she'd turn around, and little Tommy has got, what's that thin on your socks and it'll be like, he's got elves having sex, right? It would be carnage. Oh my God! At 12, Dicks are the funniest things in the world. Like, so seeing a little green elf dick bulge on a kid's sock. So how did she get on? Did you mention what happened at the school? Is he alright, the kid? He returned from school saying he'd been a laughing stock. That's the only detail we've got.
Starting point is 00:28:22 A very sort of middle-aged man thing to describe how their day was. Yeah, I was an absolute laughing stock. I'm presuming Rachel is paraphrasing him rather than quoting him directly. She hasn't put in quotation marks. Mom, it was an absolute disaster. I was a laughing stock of the school. The other is not suitable for software for school. In the education system, you can't have elf seven seven to to the to to to the to the to have the to have the to have the to have 't have elf having sex in the education system, mom. Bless him. Oh, what a legend though. There we go. Oh, there we go. Oh, that is. I feel, I feel through him now. I'm trying to, I've got some, I've got some Star Wars docks over there, we can send him or something. Yeah, Luke Skywalker, Skywalker, Darth Vader, that. thapapapapapapapapap, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. thoooooooo. th. th. th. the. the. thoo. th. th. th. th. Oh just can't walk and die of threat. That would be incest. I mean, yeah, I draw the line of incest sex on socks.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Else having sex, sure, a couple of Jedi's banging, not a problem. Yoda having it off. I'll give you that, but you can't have a father and son having sex. Whether one's got a helmet on it. Oh, no, my grow up, Rob. your tip has backfired. Oh, what tip? Our two-year-old Ruby is often reluctant to get into the bath. She runs up and down the landing and generally procrastinates. After listening to Rob's put them in the bath with socks on idea, I thought it would be a short, far way to get Ruby into the baths quickly.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Speed up the whole best. Not a hot adorntler. to. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. thi. the that. the that. the that. thathe. thi. that. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. th. th. the. the. thin. toe. toe. tode. tode. tode's toda. toda. the's the's theeee's thro. She's the. She's the. She's to the point in the evening when I'm on the sofa questioning my life choices. At the time came, I plonked her in the bath with socks on and made sure she knew I thought it was a hilarious mistake. She screamed in my face, slipped over in a rush to take the wet socks off and threw them in my face saying no, daddy that's dirty. I'm sure it worked for some, but it didn't work for, unfortunately. Oh, I'm sorry it didn't work. I mean, she's not wrong though. They are dirty socks. It's not, it's not okay really, but I just thought, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:10 my daughter loves that. She thinks it's hilarious. Well, that's the thing, in Chingford, they don't, they, they've had's the thing you realize. Every child also Chingford, Essex, Essex that you take a lot more care about your appearance in Essex. Do you know? Well, exactly.
Starting point is 00:30:34 You're saying the child's the child's vain. I'm not saying the child's vein. approach to style, you know, compared to, you know, some of that little oik in Southeast Under like me with dirty socks. Well you don't even wear socks, Rob. Well, you don't even wear socks Rob. Well, you don't even wear socks, Rob. Well, the the South East undernets, it's not a big sock wearers, especially in the summer. I've always said by that. You find it that you've mentioned it a number of. I just find the the the the the the the th. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just find. I just find. I just find the the the th. I just find the th. I just find th. I just find th. I just find th. I just find thinks. I just find thinks. I just find thinks. I just find thinks. I just find thocks. I just find thocks. I thocks. I thops. I thinks. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. S socks. Socks. Socks. Socks. S socks. Socks. S socks. Socks. S socks. Socks. Socks. S socks. S my head, pop socks are those ones with the frills on the top. I know they're not, but you know the ones the girls wear with the frills on the top. Oh, they're not pop socks. I'm talking about them little ones, it's just you trainer socks. That's not wearing socks.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Yeah. I'm not say that I've been wearing a track, well I enjoyed my track suit so much I tried to wear it to bed but Rose wouldn't let me. Oh, in bed? I was like this is so comfy I don't know why I'd ever take it off in bed. I know but you're not even got the comfy when you're wearing thicker ones aren't you as well? Yeah. You got, oh mate, there's a whole that's a whole, th. There's a whole, th. There's a whole, th. There's, th. There's, th. There's, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, that, that, th. T, that, that, that, that, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This is, th. th. This is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's armish and have not really experienced all the different electricity or different things? It feels like you've never used a computer before, mate? Come on. I feel like you've just had a sip of Coca-Cola and you're like, oh my god, all these flavors. I've only had red water all my life. Wait until, you know, get a lilt down you you know, you know, an't, get, get a apple, get a apple, the apple, get, get, the apple, get, the apple, get, their their their their their their their tha, their tha, tha, thi, get, get, get, their thi, thi, their their their their their the, like, like, like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's theat, ta. ta' ta' ta'eat, ta'eat, ta'eat, thee. theat, thee. I's thee, that, thango, your brain will explode. Do you know I did have an apple tango the other day for the first time in years. Too sweet. Too sweet?
Starting point is 00:32:09 Too sweet. Too sweet. In my memory, it tastes like an apple tie's, but it doesn't, does it? It's so sweet. I can't believe it. It's nice hanging out. I genuinely felt like tangoed the whole experience. You actually got tangoed. I actually got tangoed. I actually got tangoed for all these years later I got tangoed. Have you been tango? I've
Starting point is 00:32:32 got tango. I've been tangl. I've got tango. Just sat there and your jogging bottoms just like questioning yourself. God, it's got sweeter or can I just not take it anymore like an old footballer you know try to mark Cristiano Ronaldo is he really good now or what is old school what's going on? It was like that game you know there's like Gary Neville says there was one game he played in oh yeah he just thought this is it yeah and that was me with an apple tango I thought it's over for me and soft drinks I think I think you've outgrown pop pop pop I I you I you I your, do you drink a, I'll drink a phanta if hungover, beyond that, and I'll be honest with you, I'll get one of those like, I'd get an apple ties or a fizzy apple that's basically fizzy apple juice as opposed to fizzy puzzly. Yeah, if you're in a pub or something and you don't want to put an alcoholic drink. Now I just drink water water. Water or orange. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th f f f f f f fanta th fanta. I th fanta. I th fanta. I've thanta. I've thanta thanta thanta thanta thanta thanta thanta thanta fanteaanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta fanta thanta thanta thanta thanta thanta th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f fanta tha. thuant thuant thuant ta. I ta. I tauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauntauantauntauantauntauntauantauntauantauntauantauant orange squash? Diluted orange squash. What do you just have water and tea? Water or if I'm treat myself fuzzy water, yeah. Tea and then if the ultimate hangover drink for me,
Starting point is 00:33:38 pint of orange juice and soda water with ice. That's, that is. But not if you're indoors. Yeah, do yourself. Oh, yeah, I suppose you can, can't you? You got all the ingredients there, raw? No, that's you've got, you've got to buy a soda water though. What orange are you using for that? Squash? No, like, not squash, fresh. Oh, no. Enjoy yourself. I do like, I do like, I do like, I do like, I, I, I's got me into more fizzy drinks because she has so many of it but that's a sticking boy but that's because she wasn't allowed any fizzy drinks growing up and they even used to die out of orange juice with water. Oh my word I know it's like something from the war isn't it? Yeah but because of that all her and her sisters absolutely smashed diet Coke like it's water where I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have that I know it has that I have that I have that I have that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I have have have have have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that I have that that that th th th th the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's of that, all her and her sisters absolutely smashed Diet Coke like it's Walter, where I got fizzy drinks for birthdays and Christmas and special occasions, right?
Starting point is 00:34:32 And then it was just water or squash throughout the week as a kid. And I'll have a fizzy drink now and again, but not that bothered. But Lou, because she was denied it, is an absolute thirsty queen for it. Rob, I'm going to say it, we should have a Hall of Fame for the most mundane chats we've ever had on this show. Oh, Century Eaton's got me up there, isn't it? Yeah, Century Eat. We'll start the Hall of Fame. We're Century Eating and follow it. The second in the Hall of Fame is which fizzy drinks do you like. Also I panic sometimes and try big it back around to parent in. We the the the the the the the the the the the fame. We the the f. We's the f. We's the f. We's the f. We's the f. We's the the the the the the the the the the the hall the hall the hall the hall th. We'll have th. We'll have th. We'll have th. We'll have the hall th. We'll have the hall th. We'll have the hall th. We'll have th. We'll have the hall th. We'll have the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall the hall, we'll have the hall, we'll have the Hall of Fame is which fizzy drinks do you like? Also I panic sometimes and try and get back around to parenting. I was like, yeah, because lose mom, like it's a parent thing, where that means anything. Quick, give us an email Josh, right?
Starting point is 00:35:12 Right, we've done so well. Okay, parenting hack. Can't I can't believe how many people have listened to this. We should tell the listeners. We're going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do an announcer when it hits 10 million, but we've had like 9 million downloads. Is that right, Josh? Uh, Michael? Yeah, we are very nearly at 10 million. Very nearly at 10 million. We are very nearly at 10 million downloads. Imagine if that fizzy drink thing stops it dead and we never make it to 10 million.
Starting point is 00:35:35 That's what I'm thinking. Are we getting so many because of these chats? Or is this the the the th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, very thi, very thi, very very very very very very very very thi, very very very very very very thi, very very thi, very thi, very thi, very thi, very thi, very thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Very, teei. Very, tei. Very tei. Very tei. Very tei. Very thaei. Very thaea. Very tha. Very thathat all kill us? Yes, that's the worry, isn't it? Do you know what? I heard you drinking. I was drinking there, sorry. You can get that tea down quick enough to try and answer me. Straight water, straight water, straight water, straight water, make. Get a tango again, after what they did to me. Josh, have we got any any we should talk about someone's kids have you got any emails about kids yeah I'm gonna go into
Starting point is 00:36:07 Instagram if we need to. No this is an amazing tip from Ashley Bennett. Go on Ash I see what you think of this. We have two we have a four-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old girl. we found a genius way for them to listen to simple commands. As any kid, they tend to listen to grandparents' teachers and random strangers before mom and dad. We have an echo dot in our kitchen. Is that the, that's an Amazon thing, isn't it? I think that's Amazon, you know them like the weird Siri things, whatever it's called. Oh, who cares? They know what they're talking. It's a smart speaker.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Alexa, it's an Alexa. It's an Alexa, it's a smart speaker thing. Google Home, Apple House. There's a handy app that goes along with it. The announce function allows you toys or Santa is watching or asking them to go and rub mummy's feet. It works every time. The possibilities are endless. So basically what they're doing is their children won't listen to them, but they will listen to Alexa. So they're putting their commands through Alexa to get their children to do it.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Is this ethical? Oh, I don't know, but I think it's ethical if it's your own child, but if you start hacking into other people's houses and getting their kids to do things, definitely not. But I think it's good. Like the great philosopher once said, Peter Parker's uncle, with great power, comes great responsibility. And Spider-Man doesn't take the piss, does he? So what we're saying here is, you can get them to do stuff, but use this while, why, so you don't want to be wasted it on little things.
Starting point is 00:37:54 But if there's a big meltdown going on, I think it should be your death-confort. Do you try to thii. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi! thi! thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. try. try. try. toda. toda. toda. today, try. toda. toda. toda. today, try. try. today, try. today. it's time for bath now, not just like, I'll pick that up off the floor or put your spoon back on the side. Do I mean, that little stuff, you can't, you can't exclusively communicate your child through a robot. Yes, no, that would be, no, you've always said that. You know, always, do you know, even the early days of just like, I to to to to to just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to... to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. to can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, to communicate, to communicate, to communicate, to communicate, th. th. thi. thr. thr. thr. the the tooo, a child thinks that Alexa is a real person that's bossing them around where it could get problematic but to be honest with you I'm willing to put that aside if it would make a tidy up we've
Starting point is 00:38:31 got into stickers now stickers the old reward stickers is an absolute little reward chart that was a bit that sort of stop now that minored a today's little little reward chart is needed now they're that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the that th are the th are th are the th are tho their their tho tho tho tho tho tho their that is tho tho tho tho tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is that that that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be to be but especially over Christmas and some of the holidays, the sticker of reward chart is needed. They're like anyone, they're aren't they kids? They need, like, anyone at a job, you need sort of little challenges and little rewards for those challenges to show progress and feel like you're doing something. Or otherwise you'd get you go away. Exactly. Exactly. It's one. We have a monthly. to. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have. We have to. We have to. We have to. We have to. We have a month. We have a month. We have a month. We have a month. We have a monthly. We have the the the the the the the the they. We have they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They they. They're they. They're they they. They're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the at the end of every month. I thought we'd end with a nice email. Yes, let's do this. Hello there, my name is Jack Lavery and I'm emailing you guys to tell you how proud and thankful
Starting point is 00:39:10 I am of my wife, Zara. Early this year, I had a seizure where I dislocated both my shoulders, I broke six ribs and fractured my spine along with a host of other issues. Did he sleep on the sofa or did he get into the bed? Not a great start to the year. But Zara has looked after me unbelievably well, all the while heavily pregnant with our second child who is born in June. Seeing as she's now the full-time driver, she has full control of the radio, and all we ever listen to is your podcast. In fact, as I write this, she's just switched you on in the kitchen, the kitchen, the kitchen, the kitchen, the kitchen, the kitchen, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, the, the, the, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, and, is, and, is, and, and, is, and, and, and, and, is, and, is, and, and, is, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, and, and, is, is, and, is, and, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t the the t the the the the the the the the. She loves the podcast so much and it's become a huge part of her daily life. It's been a hard year for our family and Zara's been such a great wife and mom to our kids, Kian and Sophia.
Starting point is 00:39:54 And in the midst of all this, you've both brought her great laughter throughout. I was hoping by sending this email I could get you guys to give her shout out to tell her how much everything she's done for me and the kids and how much it's meant to us and we love her loads. Oh well well done Zara. Thank you very much for listening and for being such a lovely mom and wife to your your poor husband who I imagine did sleep in the bed. This is really a lovely email to have and it's gonna you know the other lady that you're. The other lady that emailed in earlier about forcing her broken-armed husband to, you know, see for the safe. It's going to make her feel quite guilty, don't you think, Josh? Yeah, I do think that she's, you know, she thought she was helping us by giving us more details, but if anything it's backfired massively. She's lovely, you know, she's lovely, thrown. Is she? Let's face it. thrown. to say, throwne. Who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. thin. thin. thoomoomoomoomo. tho. tho. tho. thin. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. She's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. She's. thin. She's. She's. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's she sure it's nice that's a lovely message in it. Very nice, very nice we're back on Friday with Andy Day
Starting point is 00:40:47 are you aware what the name Andy Day means Rob or do you want to let's be very clear to the listeners how he's better known. He's so he's so famous in our lives now that he doesn't even need his surname is Andy from C. B.B. He's Andy's Andy's Dinos. And he's the dinosaur's the dinosaur's the dinosaur's the dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur's dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the dinosaur the the the the the th. th. the th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, the Adventure Guy from C. Bibi's. Yeah. He's got, I'd say, the most beautiful hair in television. Yeah. And I'm just sick to the back teeth that I didn't ask him how he gets his hair so lovely. Does he do the shower and leave it method of Josh Willican. Who knows? I forgot to ask. You'll never know. You can't be getting on the back of a tea wrecks with wet hair mate. You make you kind of fucking dust. Especially in the ice age, it'll snap off. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:29 But it's Andy Day, lovely bloke, absolute legend on CBB's and it was a great chat. Right, see you on Friday guys. See you later. Bye.

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