Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S01 EP7: Ellie Taylor

Episode Date: May 19, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP7: Ellie TaylorJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is the brilliant comedian, writer and actress, Ellie Taylor. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero-dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get Uber won for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student joined for just 499 a month savings may vary eligibility

and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown which I would say can be a little tricky. So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to lockdown parenting hell with me.

Josh we're good too. And me? Well, Beckett. That's nice, isn't it? Do you love to lockdown parenting hell with me. Josh Woggerton. And me? Rob Beckett. That's nice, isn't it? Really sweet, really nice. My daughter's saying our name. Still struggling with Widdicum, but, um, yeah, well, that's fine.

It's a tough surname. I like our little intro, but it's a bit self-involved, having it as my kid doing it every week. So I thought why don't we open it up to our listeners and if they get their kids saying our names, Rob Beckett and Josh Winnockham and email them to us, we can put them in at the start of the show and give them a shout out. And maybe it's done. They've done something. So they've done. They've done their first step. Or they're, they're quite young to speak. Or or they, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're, or they're. Or, or they're. Or, or they're. Or, or they're. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. too. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. their. too. their. their in the voice note to us and also let us know what they've done, their name and their age and where they're from and we'll give them a shout out, like Blue Peter. That sounds nice, don't it? Have I told you that my daughter's calling me Josh now and it's really getting to me? Oh yeah, yeah, they started doing that to me. That's really annoying. And they know, they they they they they tho. Pthey tho. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha. tha., they love it. When they find out, it's a bit like when you

find out your teacher's name, you just absolutely buzz off it. You are, you are not a Robb. You have never been a Robert ever. No, my mum wanted to call me Robbie. Well, I could see you as a Robbie. I mean, Bobby Beckett. I reckon if I was called Bobby Becket, I'd I'd have gone straight to the cruise ships. I mean. I. I. I. I. I. I. not far off. When they're back on back, that's what I'm saying. We should start, Rob, with how our weeks have been, and some tales from the parenting front line. Now, Rob, this is what happened to you. So we decided to go to the beach, just to get out of the house because we're allowed now, we went to a big, one in, thim church, massive beach so we could socially distance. We're out for about half an hour, it was too wind and cold, they're both cried.

We've got all back in the car. And I justthere, oh, I can't wait to go home. Have you been out of lockdown 12 hours? Have you been out since? That is unbelievable. No, we've just been in the car. If you look at the time code on that, it was 11.34 a thirty a tomorrow tri.m.m.m.m.m.m. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. I'm. It was. I'm. It was. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. I'm. I'm. at 530 a.m. Josh. So we just chucks him in the car. The highlight of that day was a three-hour round trip where they slept. They slept for a bit. And I was just on the motorway with my wife and we went, oh, this is bliss, isn't the kind of lockdown?

Like if that's the best bit, how long do you reckon you could get away with it? Well, just doing laps of the M25. I mean, I tell you what we are going to do. We're going to drive to McDonald's in Wellin and park near it to get a delivery off Uber eats. That is one of the bleakest things I've ever heard in my life. Yeah I know but I'm doing it. Do you know when a sentence starts bleak and then every extra bit gets worse and worse and worse and worse. I don't know where I'm gonna drop to McDonald's and I thought all right fair enough in Welling here we go nearby I get an Uber eats delivery. Because you have to, oh that is bleak I'm gonna have to say I'm in a car parked out. it it it it it it is a bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak it is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak. Oh it is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is bleak is. Oh it is. Oh it is. Oh it is. Oh it is. Oh it is a that it is. Oh it is a that it is a that it is a that it is a that it is bleak. Oh it is bleak. Oh. Oh. It is bleak. Oh. Oh. It is bleak. Oh. It's is bleak. Oh it is bleak. Oh. It is bleak. It is bleak. It is bleak. It is bleak. It's is bleak. It's horrible. Also, the problem we go it out is they say

the beaches are open, the parks are open, go and have a picnic, see your friend from two meters away. There's no toilets open, Josh. I have, of course. So do you want to hear what happened to me? On the beach, because we potty training, we've got this of tissue in it and a bag I just knelt on the beach facing the sea I walked to the front and just knelt look I was praying at the waves and just knelt and pissed into a bag. Oh my god what into the child's potty back? Yeah into the child's potty bag and at one point I could sense a kid with a ball behind me and I was like oh god if that kid runs in front of me, that's flashing, isn't it? Do you think if the paparazzi had got that shot, that would have been the end of your career? It could be laughed off as a funny story. It depends. Yeah. If there's no one nearby and it's just me, but if the paparazzi shot's full frontal and there's a kid in the shot,

career over. Your career can be ruined by an angle. Are you getting this story out there now for fear that it is going to come out late today so you want to earn it yourself. I'm being blackmailed about it basically and I'm not willing to pay. I'm trying to just drop the story now but yep I waned my knob out on the beach first day out of lockdown but yeah that was that we've stayed in since we've not been out. I've th. th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've the th. We've th. We've the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th to to to to th the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their th. thed the. the. the the theat theat the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea' thea' theat thea' to to thrible morning. I've lost my wallet in the park. So I went to the park with my daughter and then we've come back and we went to buy a light bowl but obviously that's in the shop the sales magazines and it's impossible to get past the magazines. There's no way of getting past a rack of magazines. They're so expensive. And the stuff on the front of kids magazines. It's like the ultimate of a waste of a of of a of of a of of a of of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste of a waste their their is the definition of shit. Yeah. It's like that stuff on the front of kids magazines.

It's like the ultimate of a wasteful crap that our society is, not to get too heavy on it. But I think it is... I'm the climate change expert and I'm not like one of the proper like Greta Ceno's about it, but even I look at that and go, do we need that plastic cell to the plastic, their, their, that, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do that, do, do, do, do, do, that, that, do, that, that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, and, the, and, and, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, the to the front of that? They throw it on the floor immediately. Do you know what? We've got loads of like loads of toys that have amassed over the two and a half years. None of the stuff of the magazine has ever stood the test of time. Oh no. No one ever goes. Oh, where did you get that lovely little toys? Oh, it was on the front of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thorororororororororororororororororororororor. the too tooes. tooer. too too too too too too too too too too too too too too tooes. tooes. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. too too too too toy toy toy toy too too too toy too too too too too too too too too too mobile phone that's thinner than a piece of paper? There were to the McDonald's Happy Mills toys.

They get them, on the level of shit, they are nothing's worse than that, potentially a really cheap cracker. Yes, yeah, exactly. No way. No way. Anyway, so you had to go past the magazines. So, I bought a magazine, right? It was obviously in the park. It was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was obviously in the park, it had fallen out, my wallet sticks to the case on my phone. So it's, for two months I've been saying this wallet's going to get pulled out my pocket around my phone. It was gone and then I just, I dropped my daughter at home and I said I'm going to go to the park and look for my wallet. I'm not going to lulled. I had a lovely time even though. I had a th lost th lost tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. I had the. I had the. I had the. I had tho tho the. I had thrown thrown tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the. I've the the. I've the the the the the the their their their their their th th th th th th th. I was the the. I was the the. I was the. I was the the the the the throwne throwne. to to to tolde an tolde an tolde an tolde an tolde an tolde an tolde an tolde an throoooe. the. That half hour. I've with my headphones in. Oh, headphones as well. Went for a walk in the sun in the park. And even though I know now that both of my debit cards and my driving license I've got to get replacements for, it was worth it.

Yeah. For that little time on my own, it was absolutely glorious. See, it's the little things, I mean, like, the key to lockdown for me is, always have your headphones on you, because you never know when you might be sent away somewhere and get 20 minutes in a queue. I stood outside a BP garage for a loaf of bread for 20 minutes, for a loaf of bread for 20, thrown, I've never been sadder, just stood there, looking at people and judging them for being too close for 20 minutes. All I wanted was a little podcast to just tap out on. Oh, awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful awful the people people people people people people people people their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the th. th. the the. the the. the the. the the the the the the the the thea. the thea. the the thea. toe. toe. too. toe. toe. to just tap out on. Oh, awful. People complaining about the cues outside shops, that's the fucking best bit, mate. Yeah.

Yeah. Queuing outside a shop. That is my Saturday night out. That is, I feel when I approach a big queue, like I feel when I go to the pub and have my first pint. It's genuinely wonderful. Also, especially before you can meet mates, if your mate was in the queue next to you, you got a free night out for half hour.

You're like, it's my mate! I'm a chat here, I'm not breaking the rules. Let's do this. Same time next week. Oh, yeah. So, I've lost my wallet. If anyone finds it in Victoria Park, then please do get in toub. What does possible for your business business to to to to to to to to thauuuuuuice. thiauice. thia. thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to thathe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thou. the. theate. thou. theate. thou. theate. thou. theate. toeate. toe. toe. I. I. I to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum.

That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit A.X.C.A.S. to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government government government government government government government government government government government government government to to to to to to to to to toee. toe. toe. to thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools.

Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Now, do you want some letters? Oh yes please.

Also, I've got a little tip for keeping kids entertained, if you want that now or later, Josh. Basically, it's probably not great for the whole plastic, you know, environment thing, but I think you do have to judge when... Yeah, so children zorbed, just chuck them down the road and pick them up an hour later. They can't get up. They love it. Oh, knack it out by bedtime.

No, but what is off Amazon or wherever you get your shit, basically Amazon, but you can buy for 15 quid, a pack of like 20, 25, helium balloons that and weight them down. You see them in shopping centres, yeah? They're normally about six, six quid each. You can buy a whole pack today for ten, fifteen quid, twenty-five of them, get a big bottle of helium and we basically had a zoo in the house. The kids went mental for it. And you can just... Lovely! And you can just... And you keep them in the draw and bring them out and have like a zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo and the the the the the the the the their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their their their their their t. t. t. t t tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. their. their. their. their their that I'm going to read this email out. This is from someone, astonishingly this person is called Saul Campbell. Oh! Not Saul, Saul Campbell. When you're called Saul Campbell, you don't think that that name's going to become

famous, but there we go. Right. Hi, gents. I just wanted to share a quick story with you, which happened yesterday. As I tried to work full-time throughout the week with my mrs and a two-year-old son at home, I absolutely crave the weekends, for not only the time I get to spend with them both, but the slight reprieve between 12 and 1 p.m. where my little boy Jackson would normally catch his 40 winks, as I could sense he was on the verge of a highly anticipated snooze, we approached a house on the road, which had an amazing array of animal balloons tied to the gate.

I thought Jackson was now asleep so foolishly proceeded towards the house. As I assumed it was simply a parent's attempt to lighten the mood. As the the the the the the the the to the to to the the the the the the to. As. the their. their. their. their. their, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoomorrow, thoome, tooen the mood. As we got to the gate there was a sign, free children's balloons, help yourself. Does this ring any bells, Rob? Yeah, but now you're embarrassing me because I hate people that bring stuff up like this. Oh do you? No, I don't mind it. But yeah, that I put them out, we had, we bought an extra pack and put them on outside the house for neighbors. Yeah, he says saying daddy daddy I was in an absolute predicament he wanted a balloon they're free and available to take unlike in most situations now he wants to play with it and not go to sleep I've been waiting five days straight for this

nap oh I'm so so the week it's my golden hour to get shit done at the weekends I can get a snooze in or a panic about how I'm going to use the time. For good effect. Not wanting to be a prick of a dad, I reached for a balloon and then had the awkward tussle of try to detach it from the fence. Which from the cars driving by looked as though I was definitely stealing kids' birthday. I'd the birthday decorationsanked the balloon away from the fence and scuttled off down the road. In the window of the house, as I looked back, I could see the silhouettes of a family inside, watched as I made a pig's ear of the transaction. I made it back home, the other end of the road, and Jackson was wide awake, loving life with his balloon.

My mrs. and gave her a puzzled look as she glanced at an inflatable pug. She decided to take her out in the car and get him off to sleep. One hour later she comes home with a hyper toddler shouting doggy-doggy as he barged his way in. My son did not have a nap that day. My eyes are still burning and it turns out the free balloons belong to Rob Beckett. So in short, thank you for the balloon mate. You owe me a solid hour of sitting and doing fuck all, which I pray for every week. Oh Mr Campbell, I'm so sorry. After the joy you brought me at Arsenal. You know what's funny about that though?

We put them out. We put scissors out as well because we tied them because the amount of people that didn't see the scissors were there for ages and getting more and more flustered and more...... And more. And more. And more. And more. And, their. And, their, their, th. And, th. And, the, the, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I I I I I, I I, I I, I I I's, I's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thia. And, thia. And, thia'a'a'a'a'a'er's tho. And, tha, thi, thi, thi, there for ages and getting more and more flustered and stress because it looked like they were stealing it even though there was a sign. But we're me and Lou were looking like that oh it's lovely look. We really made those kids days. It's nice it's nice, isn't it? But now I know I ruined someone's weekend. Oh bless, sorry Mr Campbell. If it is the soul Campbell. Yes. It's not, it's not, is it? If you're going to change your name so no one knows it's Soul Campbell, you wouldn't just change the first a bit. He's signed it, Sol, S-O-L. Mate, if I, if Salt Campbell took a pug off my drive, I'd know about it. It can't be, it can't be, it can't be Sol Campbell. I can't believe I'm So. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm S th. I'm th. I'm S th. I'm S th. I'm th. I'm th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't th th th th th the the th the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I can't th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi toge toge. toge. th th th th thi thi thi th'm Sol Campbell, you'd have to, wouldn't you? No, but then people would say that about you

because you're on the tellular tongue. Yes, it is Josh Winnockham, it's me. But I, can we, through the record, I didn't know you was going to read that, let's thrown. No, you didn't. No. No. No. thin. thin. I. I. I. I thin. I thin. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I was say that I was say that I was say that I was say that I was say that I was say that I was say that I that I that I say that I say that I say that I say that I say that I say that I say that I say, I say, I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I. I. I. I. I th. I. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.to him because it looked nice out the front and then I went I just thought do you know what I'm glad I'm not one of those pricks that put this on the internet going well well look that I'm doing but I have now through you but I've shown the world that you're a nice man it's not all the time we might start doing it once a week yeah though they don't hoards of people try to stor the the h ha the ha the ha the ha the ha the ha the ha the hord try try the ha try the horde try try to try to to to the to the toy toy. toy. toy. Hors. Hors. Hordes. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors. Hors hord I was hord I was hord I tod tod tod tod tod tod tod tod tod tod tod toda ha ha ha ha. toy toda. Hors ha. Hors ha. Hors ha. Hors horde today horde today today today today today today toye toyeaught toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy to. to. to. to. to. to. to try to steal punts from our front drive. One of them, Saul Campbell, he's told Pascal Seagone, he's coming down to get one. Stepanobs was in knocking last night. You ain't got any zebras, but you'll buy out of his silver out of zebra last week. Um, if you want to get in touch with the show, here is how. Email us, hello at lockdown parenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. So today's guest is Ellie Taylor who's a comedian and actor and got her own podcast.

Ellie and Anna have issues and she's got an 18 month year old at home of her in lockdown. Enjoy. Hello Ellie Taylor, how are you? I'm alive at the end of another day. That's good. Welcome to the show. Happy you're here alive. Oh, good lord. It never ends, does it? It doesn't, mate. I've been saying to Rob that your Instagram stories, along with Rob's are both the

bleakest and the most reassuring things of the lockdown. Thank you, thank you, I think that's a good job I think. Yeah, I mean I feel like it's the closest I can get to doing any work at the moment because my husband is like he has a full-time grown-up job so he's trying to do that from home so I am by default child care full-time child care although my sister's like it's not child care really if it's your own child and I'm like it is I do consider it's your child yeah I do you I use the awful term someone to say I what you up to and I say I'm babysitting tonight and I mean my own child I'm to be a baby sit I'm the to their own child I'm I the I the I the I to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me the the to to the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their own child I their own child I their own child I their own child I'm the their own child I'm the the the their their own I their own child I'm to to their own I'm to to to to their own child I to me to me to me I'm to I've got a baby sip. Yeah, yeah, I do that. Yeah, I feel that. Yeah. So, Ellie, what's the setup?

Sorry, what's the setup just for our listeners in your house? Sure, I've got a 17-month-old little girl, yeah, husband's like a salaried, grown-up human. So he's having to, he likes to bust that out. And I'm like, well, that's what they're, he's got a letter. How far does that go the journalist, key worker thing? Because of the people that are taking photos of Gemma Collins and Arge on the side, borrow, by shame, on the mail online. Is that a key? Is that a key? The country needs it. Collins has got a carcassie and got around arges. Do you know I need to know that. For me that is key. Is she walking? Ellie is she running about? Yeah she's walking.

She's um she doesn't really say much though so she's and she's really tantrumy so we're at the stage it's just ridiculous oh she's furious. A bit sexy popu any, I think. Young women are allowed to be builders now. If it was a pink one, I would have let her, but it was blue. And then she's like, I got really annoyed because I put on tele-tub is her favorite show. And then she, how dare I put on her favorite show, and then she like hits it, she keeps like beating up the sofa and it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th of that and she like hits it, she keeps like beating up the sofa and it's really funny. I find it really hard not to laugh.

Oh I do that. I laugh when my daughter's like losing her shit and obviously it's not funny to her. You're just thinking you're being so petty, this is funny. Come on, have some perspective on things, mate. It sounds like to like that discussion. What you're doing is funny. You're in a little vest and a pair of knickers running their house screaming. If anyone else did this, it would be hilarious. Which could you just three? Yeah. Also, do you know tele tubbies have got their own kids?

I couldn't believe it. Tidly tubbies so the actual tele tubbies have been getting off of each other and breeding little tele tubbies? I didn't take it as they were their children. I just think it were like a new like it was like a breeding ground for little tubby tubbys. Think about it Ellie time for tubbby they're. T bafter. Is there any issues over lockdown with your daughter Ellie that's sort of hard to resolve like bed times or when they're eating or is there anything particular that's a struggle?

Food is annoying. I'm finding it because she used to go to nursery four days a week and I feel and it's not the resentment is not going the fact that I have to feed her three times a day. It seems seems. I. I the fact that I have to feed her three times a day. It seems excessive. And she's just, it's when like tonight I made her, I made her a proper nice dinner and she just refused it point black. And I'm just like, what is the point?

I should just, I should not even try. And just, I sort of gave up and she had a fish finger sandwich and a calipo and was delighted. So what what time you're getting up early? She's waking up. She's doing the weird thing right? She wakes up really early but she just sits quietly in her cot like a psychopath. So like it's really weird but also we're like, well, yeah, never mind. So we get like, we go in like seven, you know, she could have been up for hours. She just sits there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing there playing their playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing their playing their their their their their their their their the for hours I don't know she just sits there playing with their dummies. Maybe she doesn't sleep.

They're all night. Waiting. Like the Toy Story toys. Yeah. Her watch is never over. Seven is a good start time. Yeah I can cope with that. And then she's she naps from like about 11 to about half 121 which is my time to like do everything that I need to in the house and also try to get worked on and also just to add some jeopardy into the equation my next door

neighbors but one have just started massive building work and we live in like little London terracists so it's like it's next door to their. It's next door but one. . or one but it feels like they're in your bathroom sort of thing. So just trying to like make sure she sleeps through angle grinders and very loud Polish power ballads so it's... Oh wow yeah it's full on it's full on at the moment. So your husband working from home or is he going out? Bits of bits of both really so like a couple of weeks ago he went to he went to to Sweden to report on what was going on over there because they had obviously had a difference of

attitude towards coronavirus. They've let sort of people go well just let people out really a bit more so he was away for a week then but in a way I kind of when he goes away sometimes in a way it's easier because it's just me and I'm just me and I can knuckle down I mean put C.Bibibis on I put I put I put I put I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I put C. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the their people. their people. their people. the the the the the th. the th. the the the. the the. the the. to to to the to to to to to to to judged as much as so. I was talking to someone. I was talking to someone. Knuckle down some C.B.B. Yeah, because I was talking to some of my girlfriends about this. I was like, in a way, yeah, I prefer it when my husband's not around. And they're like, yeah, because when they are in the house, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, to. don't need someone peeking over your shoulder so if you can just you know sit on your phone in another room. I find that with Lou like when I'd rather

have the kids on my own completely than sometimes sharing it because you start little bit well we don't do that that's how I do it like this and I'm like okay well I can't constantly second guess how you do everything you know when I do it it's martial law they're in bed by the time you get so don't the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the they the the they the they're the the the the the to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their th th th th th the the the the the the thee theeeeeeeeee. theeeeee don't the the the the th. They're in bed by the time you get home. So don't judge it. I'm a result man. Yeah? So don't ask about the technique. They'll be in bed and everything that will need to be done even if you agree with it.

I reckon there's a good chance, Rob, that there will be a period when you are doing it on your wish. Imagine that. What happens at the end of lockdown? Got divorced. Yeah, full the waltz. Surely we could have done that at the beginning in a lockdown. We've suffered it for this long. Yeah, there are points now where I've, because I've been doing so much more childcare than I normally do and definitely I'm doing the lion's share. I've got really prescriptive, about how things are done. I've got to really prescriptive th. th. th swishy-swashy grass you have to pretend to be swishy-swashy grass and I was like talking through the actions oh no you've got to do squirtch squirt to the mud actually like you need to live no you lift up her feet and it's like you've got to just yeah back off me yeah yeah well can I to do like I I I I I I I the I the I the I the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the th I th I th I th I th I th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the to to try try try try to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to book that's got, they pick a book before bed. If it's got too many words in, I'll make up the story. Yeah, I agree.

I'll do it, yeah. Do like one or two, so we all do that, that's fine. It's not I don't have to feel guilt. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah, straight to take over all the weekend then? As you've got the baby all week, will he sort of do the lion's share at weekends? Oh, okay. No.

No, he does like, he does as much as he can through the week. He really does and like, he sort Oh, he does like, he does. He does as much as he can through the week. He really does and like, he sort of, he can sort of do it a half an hour either side of her nap time, that obviously gives me a longer block to, you know, go and look at J. Wicks on Instagram and send him hate mail. So that does help. And at the weekend, I quite like, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend I quite like just actually hanging out as a family, which is something we don't really do that often. So like the other weekend when it was sunny, we've got a tiny little garden,

but we were just, me and my husband were doing the garden and the baby was just playing around us. And it was like, it kind of felt for like, I felt like, I felt like a proper mom and dad and a family, because that's what you do, you get on with life and the kids just sort of potter around you. And that was really lovely. So I do quite like, it's just more fun when you're all together. That's how I imagined parenting a lot more. Yeah, yeah. Like a lot of like I'll be doing, getting stuff done while she's doing stuff. Like I remember when my friend who's since had a a kid and he came around when I first had my daughter and she was in one of those baby bouncer. And he was like, so can you just like put her in there and then just get on with your work for the day? And I was like, are you fucking kidding? The day?

The day? Just pop her in the baby bouncer for eight hours and clockers and clock on. But that is kind of how I imagined it. It'd be like, oh, she'll get on with and I'll be watching her, but I'll also be like getting through a lot of podcasts or something. But it's not, you're constantly alerts, but to quite a low level. Yeah, yeah. I used to love it when, when I was breastfeeding, I watched shitloads of TV because obviously she didn't know. And then even when she got to the background all the time. But now she has, she, I can't put the telly on unless it's for her

because she'll just get annoyed if I'm trying to watch anything that I like. So that's kind of thing, that really is like you have to just sort of be with. That's tough as well because it's only you can do that obviously so like I do find sometimes splitting like what each parent does with the kid sometimes it has to be the mom like in certain situations how did you get over that because Lou found that quite difficult with the breast feeding and stuff did you enjoy it or was it hard or what was your experience to that it was for me it was it was pretty easy at the beginning and it will came quite naturally and I was really chuffed but then I got mistitis a couple of times which was like absolutely hell to. Oh my god, I don't understand what what the fuck nature is doing so I the first

time had it she was seven weeks old I'm recovering from a cesarean still like you're obviously at the lowest ebb you can possibly imagine and then nature decides to infect one of your tets and uh... Sorry to laugh at the top. But it was, I mean it was, there was always dark moments of humor in these situations and I remember like I've never been in so much pain and I was like hallucinating with this fever and we got a breastfeeding coach to try and work at why I got Mocitis and try and help the latch and she was this strange Russian lady and to try and sort of help me work out the latch she got she pulled out of her bag why I'm crying on the sofa in the most pain I've ever been in my life

she pulls out an Elmo hand puppet to the elmoh to the Elmo puppet on my infected tee! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the th th th th th th th the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho the thus the tho. to the to to the to the th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the perfect latch with the Elmo puppet on my infected tis. Oh my word. At the time I was. You chose this for a moment. Oh, the days of pre-corona. Had it been disinfected? It wasn't wearing a face-master.

How did you feel in that moment, Ellie, that you're just sat there? Because, well, I was, you know, very, I was, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, I was, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, to, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on. on. on. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, was, was, thi. Oh, was, was, to to to thi. to me to me thi. toed. to me toed. toed. toed. to. to. to. you feel in that moment, Ellie, that you're just sat there? Because I was, you know, very, I was very vulnerable at that moment, so I was like a lady who's really what to do, Elmo will help me. And it was only reflecting back on it that I was like, what the fuck? I'm sad for him. That Elmo's got some stories to tell, hasn't it? Paddie up. Can I throw some other options at you of what you would be accepting? Because you accepted Elmo, obviously like a sort of cartoon figure, if she just whipped out of entriloquist doll, how would you feel? Because it must be a level of the cuddly toy you'll accept to do that?

You know, you're the very vulnerable no, no, that this is one's sitting far. If it had kind eyes, I'd let anything have a go at that point, I think. Fair enough, you were very vulnerable. And did it work? Well, I got better and I don't know. And then I got, I got my stitus again and it's just, it's all a pile of shit. I don't understand. She's a gross and a grouch of the groug. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the grou. Yeah. the groo. the gro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the gr. the gr. Yeah. Yeah. the gr. the gr. the gr. the gr. the gr. the gr. the gr. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. one. That God Cookie Monster stayed at home. Yeah. Yeah, so it was like, I did like miss it though.

When I stopped breastfeeding I did miss it, but then I got really quite, I remember getting quite emotional, like, it's the end of our journey together. I'm just gonna feed her one last time. And then she started biting me and I was like, oh do you know what I think we're done and it was less, it was less sad to let it go. But I do still kind of miss it in a way. Although when I hear about some of my friends who are still doing it and their kids are 18 months old and like they're not sleeping through the night and stuff I'm like yeah I'm fine. I'm far my bottles now. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah that is tough. There's so much pressure the pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure the pressure the pressure the pressure

out that's when Lou did especially with my offspring you can't have them nibbling away and hoosh jeans when those teeth come through Rob it must just be so telling that they're coming through I know it comes like one the teething must have an agony I know portals they're getting through it did you imagine you'd because there was a lot of this kind of I'm gonna achieve stuff with my lockdown and it's gonna be this moment of tranqu. to the to the to to the to the to the to the to the the to the the to to the the to the to their. their. I the their. I the the the to to to to to their. I their. I'm their. I's their. I'm to be to to to to tr. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the tr. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. tr. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. It's. It's. I'm of I'm going to achieve stuff with my lockdown and it's going to be this moment of tranquility and it's, did you know what you were signing up for, Ellie, or is it kind of, then you're like, oh right, this is what it is. I feel like it's sort of shifted in my brain a bit. So at the beginning, I think the first week my husband wasn't too busy with, so one of us would do up until her beginning of nap, one of us would do from nap onwards.

And it was lovely, and I was like, brilliant, this is how, you know, I can get loads of stuff done. And then his work kicked in and he was like, yeah, this won't, he won't be like this forever. And then I started getting really resentful of people who didn't have children and all the things about, the thi things, things, than, than, than, thi things, than, thi things, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, th time to do yoga and that, all of that shit. And I really had to let it go and then I sort of, I felt, then I would sort of lean into the fact that for the moment this is my job, this is what I have to do, I just have to look after the baby and then I'd have one of my friends Brona Cetley who's a comedy she's brilliant. I was saying to thrown. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I out who don't have children are going to come out of this with so much stuff and so much material and I feel like I'm behind and I'm losing out and she was like Ellie it's a global pandemic it's not a writer's retreat and I was like to know. That's a great line so I do try

and think of that and I do feel much more chilled out now. I'm not not th. th. th for much much much much do any work really. I can get through my admin, but that's about it. Any actually creative stuff is really unlikely to happen because I just don't have the time, I just don't have the time to do it. And it is what it is. There's no point resenting it or, you know, railing against it. You just got to just try and chill. And I I I I I I I I I I I I I just try just try just try to to to to just try to chill. to to to chill. to to to chill. to just to chill. to to to to chill. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to to to to one is going to come out of lockdown better you'll be the same or worse. That's the only two options. Just work hard to keep it level. No one's getting rich. You're either fatter or the same. That's all that's going to happen. Just take the pressure off. Thank you Rob. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Ellie, I ask all I guess this. If you had you the the the th. If you the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I am th. th. I am th. I am th. I am th. th. I am th. th. th, I ask all I guess this. If you had the house completely to yourself, right, for the whole day and your husband and your daughter can be magiced away, right? So there's no way you should be and there's no work to do,

what would you do if you're full day on your own? I would sleep. I would eat sort of just things out of jars in the kitchen. Just a teaspoon going between Nutella and peanut butter, that sort of thing. Yeah. I would watch some, I'd probably watch normal people, because I haven't caught up on that yet. Oh yeah, everyone's going on about that and I just feel bad. That feels like something I haven't achieved as well.

And then I'd probably, I'd probably end up doing like some tidyingying their their the t the t the t the t to tididing and tididing and to to tididing to tii to to to the t the t ti ti ti to be the t ti ti thi ti thi thi to be to be to be to be to be to be ti to be the the the to be between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between between their and their and thin thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ti ti ti ti.ea tia. I tea. I tea. I tea. I'm tea. I'm teeatea. I'm tea. I'm t take that off the list and then I'd probably end up doing like some tidying and organizing because it will make me feel better while listening to a very fruity podcast. Maybe this one guys that's what I do. Do they do all sorts of podcasts? They do all sorts of podcasts. Blue, you can get slightly blue ones. I make I've nif I listen to a fruity podcast well Mike. I listen to ready women's hour. I think if there was a fruity podcast, I think my reaction to it would be just sort of listening, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hello, it's going there? So, Ellie, your day of being alone in your house, it would be a fruity podcast and a bit of tidying and spooning in Nutella. Yes, but that makes it sound really dodgy.

It sounds like you need a help, like an intervention. If you wrote that down, someone will go around to look after you. I've heard about Ellie, she's just spooning stuffing from jars, listening to porn. It's the kind of... That sounds brilliant. You know that in this scenario they've just got away for a day. It isn't what would you do if your husband had run away with your child and you're trying to complete yourself. You know it reminds me if I put a thing on my Instagram stories about what I did some stupid confessions about lockdown and the people put it

sent in their confessions and one of them was brilliant, it was from a girl and she said, I wish my husband would fuck off so I could use my vibrator, which I really enjoyed. Well that's probably the problem people have got is that they're on top of their partner, not literally, like they're living in the pocket of their partner when they... That sounds even worse Josh, you trying to... So yeah, I really hate to turn into the fruity podcast that everyone wants to hear. No one thought Josh Whittaker would be the voice of the first four-no podcast. No, I don't think my voice is... I'm not going to get a job reading Mills and Boone, and that is my level of fruity, is it a thought of a mills and boon? Are you looking forward to the end of lockdown, Ali? Or are you loving it now in a weird way?

Have you adapted? There are certain elements that I really enjoy. I do feel a bit institutionalised with it. Like I'm used to all of us being in the house together, I'm used to being able to have dinner together every night. I love, I love not not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not to have not having to have not having to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to having to having to being to being to being to being to being to being to having to having to having to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the the the the thi the the the the the the the to have anywhere at any point. There's no rushing to get anywhere. There's no late nights, which means I'm not like as tired as usual. So that kind of stuff. But I will look, I can't wait to put her into nursery and not have to cook her food that she would just throw on the floor. That's what I really can't wait for. I didn't realize that when the two days that my daughter goes to nursery are a total relief from the cooking for her. Because we've run out of ideas. You know like when the main ones that work are no

longer working and you're like I'm not going to go out on a limb to be rejected again. Do you know what I mean? I think my daughter's now bored of food. How has that happened? She's two and a half. She's done all the foods she wants to do. She's over. She's over with food. And it just leads to so many boring conversations like I was so delighted the other day because someone reminded me about jacit potatoes and I was like, oh my god, she can have a jacket potato She's got a try to do it. Oh my god, we're a week. We're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're the the the the that we're that we're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, she's th. Oh, she's th. Oh, oh, oh, she's th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,! My God, we're weak that she's got ahead of her and she doesn't even know! Nice, I've run out of chat, got no chat, that's it. With some of the talk about Caldum the Cobb, and they're like, if you give one to the restraunt they'll like, they'll sit with it for ages and be quiet. Oh my God, what a great idea! Oh, pathetic! So, Rob, you always end with the same question, don't you? Yes, has there been a like highlight or a low light of your time in lockdown, something

that's made you think, oh, this is lovely, and then a point where your daughter or husband has made you think this cannot go on? Um, highlight would probably be... She's learned one of the dances from in the night garden. She knows all of how to do the tomblebo's little song and all the actions. And that's a real little treat. Yeah, tombly boo, umbley boo, sit on the floor, knock on the door, where is your nose? That's how it goes. And she does a lovely little French man shrug at the end.

And that is just Wow that's a real achievement it's just really cute so that was lovely oh yeah wasn't being sarcastic I sound like he's being sarcastic then yeah well done that sounds great and that's your highlight yeah seriously no I can strap him for the low light. I did mean it seriously. I believe you Josh, I believe you. Yeah, it sounds very cute Ellie. We're on your side. And also I found a really good place near where I live with Josh it's actually near where you live as well.

Oh yeah, it's quite close. They deliver the most amazing margaritas drinks, I'll tell you about that. That's a highlight. And where do you leave? We both... Prip Rosette? What's his delivery of margaritas? Why ain't that you near me? So, Ellie, what was your low light? My low light would probably be, there was a day where she, on our daily exercise, she fell over in the park into dog shit and I didn't have any wipes so I had to come home and try and not make a big deal out of the fact that she had

dog shit all her clothes so she wouldn't touch it so got her home and then while I was sort of hosing off dog shit in the garden she got into a cupboard and I found her eating a stock cube oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my God. It's a psychopath. I told you she's a psychopath. That is horrible. Wow. And then I went to Ben that a lovely cuddle with Elmo and it was all fine. I'm never going to be had to look at Elmo the same ever again. I know where you've been Elmo.

If we have got any listeners who've also had any encounters with Elmo, you know how to get in touch. But Ellie Taylor, thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you. No worries, thank you so much. Thank you, Ellie, it's brilliant. Cheers. Oh, Ellie Taylor.

I love Ellie Taylor. Josh, great. I ordered, I should say after that, that I did take Ellie's advice and ordered a bag of this margarita, and it comes in like a kind of a bladder kind of, you know, like, you know, like, yeah. Well, that's probably the wrong word. Yeah, but it's got a little tap on it, you know, like a bag of wine, that kind of thing. And it's premixed, and it is so punchy. she? And yesterday, well last Saturday night I fell asleep during a Zoom quiz because I drunk too much Margarita. Yesterday, parenting on a hangover on a Sunday and lockdown I think is the hell to end all hells. I know we've discussed

this before, but that margarita, oh my god, the feeling I had when my daughter went to sleep last night knowing that I was no longer parenting. You know when you've been kicked in the balls and the pain goes away too, oh too, oh too, oh too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I'm too. too. too too too too too too too too. too to to too to to to to the the the the the the to sleep last night, knowing that I was no longer parenting, you know when you've been kicked in the balls and then the pain goes away, how good that feels. It was like that. That feeling of elation. That feeling that, oh my God, I'm free from this tyranny. Which is self-imposed from the hangover.

Like the first slice of toast after food poisoning. Oh, I can keep it down. The first sip of Lucas aid and you know it's going to stay in you. Oh yes. I would say I don't want to be that parent, Josh, but two is so much worse having two kids. And there'll be people listening going to three or even worse. Obviously we all choose how many we have, but you just can't be hung over. You can't even risk it. It's horrendous. No, this is the thing. I didn't realize how much I was hung over before I had children. Yeah. Because imagine if you didn't have children and you went out on the piss and then you just decided to get up at 7 a.m. like... Yeah, and try to survive the day on your own. Never mind. I'm just going to survive the day. I'm just going to get up at 7. the the the day. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the day. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was. I was. I was. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. th. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. I'm. try. I'm. I'm. I'm. try. I'm going to survive the day. I'm just going to get up at 7 a.m. I'm not going to go to work.

I'm just going to get up at 7 a.m. and fill the day. You would be absolute madness. Oh, it's awful. It's so awful. But each had nice night. Yeah, very nice evening. Did you, did your wife have breastfeeding problems? Yeah, like especially with the first one and the we didn't get very good support really and it was it was quite difficult for Lou. Some like sort of the nurses are great but sometimes are quite a authoritative strong semi-aggressive message about breastfeeding which if someone struggling with it I don't think is always the best

no way to do it so So we found that quite difficult. Obviously she found it more different than I did. She was the one thing away from their child's never doing for us and you're under so much pressure to make sure you're doing all the right stuff. So that is quite a couple of interesting. It feels like you're one wrong thing away from your child never growing. Do you know what I mean? It's quite weird. Exactly. And then all of a sudden Elmo gets whipped out and starts having to go when your wife's breasts. And you can see that he's never grown.

He's been the same size since I was a child. Um, I think for the dad in those early stages, I found, because you feel a bit like you're a spare part in a weird way because you obviously can't do any of that. And your job I found is basically just to do everything else so that the house is like, so there's always food, there's always water, there's always the house is always just like not a shit tip. And that's kind of as much as you can do in that situation if that makes sense. I tell what's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho th is tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that, thate thate that, that that thi thi. thi. I'm thi. I to to to to to to to to to to tho-a thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm the the the the thea. thea. thauuuuuuuuuu. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I's t makes sense. I tell you what's quite degrading though is when you're a bit overweight and you've got man boobs and your daughter tries to latch onto you in front of your wife.

It's not great for morale both ends. We should say to what Ellie's got a great podcast. Ellie and Anna have issues which you can listen to where I think she speaks about quite similar stuff. If you enjoyed that you'll enjoy her podcast but yeah anytime she's on the mash report as well if you want to see her do some more stuff and tour in all that does her own tours although let's be honest when's the next time any of us are going to get to go on stage we will see now if you want to get in toux this is how email us hello at lockdown parenting dot the UK or we're on Twitter at lockdown parents. Please remember to review the podcast and subscribe to it and tell your mates about it.

Send a text or whatever. Nothing beats word of mouth does it Josh Riddocum. No apart from going on Lorraine. Oh yeah that went well. She insinuated. You can find it on my Twitter, she insinuated on National TV that I had a two-meter long dick and I had agreed with her. And that was on tele at 9 a.m. I couldn't believe that happened. But I would actually say, and we're not going to get into this because it's not that kind of broadcast, but I think that would be problematic actually rather than advantageous. Yes, I think and on that on on on on their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thi. that's, thirty, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. that th. that that that th. that that that that that that th. that th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. that's, that's, threat. that's that's the. toe. toe. toe. toe. today. toe. toe. that's toe. that's that's the. the short term of you know a few media commitments and PR level of there will be an interest You could get a slot on this morning, but from a healthy long-term relationship issue a two-meter knob Weren't be helpful. However, it would be great for you to set up your own fruity podcast about it. I think there may be a market for that. Just a guy try to self-isolate go to the shot, the thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thaee. to to to try. to to to to to try. to to to to try. to thaeee. thae. thae. thae. try. trying to self-isolate, go to the shot needs to be four meters away from people just in case he gets a boner.

What a life. This isn't what we're talking about. It's meant to be. Oh, I just want new to leave the hour so I can use my vibrator like everyone else. Right, Josh, love your leave her. We've got no breath to sleep.