Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP23: Jessica Knappett
Episode Date: April 8, 2021ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP23: Jessica KnappettJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and ...beyond is the brilliant writer and actress, Jessica Knappett. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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and member terms apply hello I'm Josh Whitakam welcome to lock down
welcome to lockdown the show in which Rob and I to be a parent during lockdown
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my increasingly
terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not.
And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown
parenting woe. Because let's be honest none of us know what we're doing.
Hello and you are listening to lockdown parent in hell with...
Can you say Rob Beckett?
Rob Beckett!
And Josh Whitakam!
Josh Whitakin.
It's really good.
There we go.
Was good, wasn't it?
That was. That was.
That is. Dylan, who's almost for, and his sister Rosie Rosie who's seven months in the background here in West Wales, West Wales is lovely.
That I've added that bit. Oh by the way. Might not be true? Could be awful? No, it's genuinely.
It's a wonderful, do you want to hear something funny Rob? Sorry to get distracted. Yeah, go on. Does this make me a terrible human being Rob? Yeah, I love this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to the. But when everyone starts that it's never actually something that's terrible like I've just
I've just I've just murdered someone. Obviously my wife is dead now. Oh no she's a lot
okay cool. I just looked out the window. I just looked out the window. I just looked out.
the the garden and saw Rose desperately try to man handle the garden furniture into the shed.
And then I pressed play on the voice memo and got on with the podcast.
Like a good guy done. Do you want to go and help or she right now?
She stopped now.
What like, on purpose or she just clap?
She's completely the touch.
She's just weirdly lying down in the snow.
Why is it fucking snowing, Rob? It was 20 degrees last week.
I know I got sunburned on Sunday. Now it's starting snowing this week.
How you being Josh. Is your child on Easter holidays or still in school?
Oh mate, yeah, so my friend who goes to the same nursery as me on Thursday, on Thursday,
turns up a nursery to pick up his son. I said, I'll see you tomorrow guys and they're like, no, it's good Friday. And he's like, oh right, okay, well, see on Tuesday then. And they're like. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. they. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the their. Oh, to to to to to to to the to the the to the to the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to see on Tuesday then, and they're like, no, it's off next week. He had no idea about Easter?
He didn't know there was an Easter holiday, and neither did I.
So your school...
I just got a text from Rose saying it's snowing.
Yeah, so to hurry up before our fucking furniture breaks.
Um, I, so he could, so I thought that yours was like a nursery preschool thing that was just all allthe time. So did I mate. So he puts on the group.
Because you don't have half terms, do you?
No, he puts in the group, you're not going to believe what's just happened.
I've made a right prep of myself.
I've only just found out at the gate the next week's off.
And we're like, what next week's off? So how long they are for, one week? One week, I'm away filming Rob.
The furniture is the least of Rose's problems to be honest with you.
So she'll have a three-year-old and be heavily pregnant and you'll be filming and sleeping in hotels.
Yeah, I'm staying in a hotel on Tuesday night.
Oh, only one night. Oh, that's all right. At least you went back in the evenings to help. It's my birth on Thursday. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th. thi. theease, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the the the th? Well, I'm filming from 8.30 until 10,
and then I'm wrapped for the day.
So I've kind of got my birthday,
which I was thinking I was gonna, you know.
Because this is the Friday's episode,
but we're recording it before.
Oh, yeah, so I'll have just had my birthday.
You've just had your birthday.
you and thr................ to have to just....... to have to just. to just.. to just. the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. I. th.. I'. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. th................................................................................................................................................. Yeah, exactly. Just leave, wait, well just wait a week and then we'll meet up. We need to meet me, you and
the Michael need to meet up. Yes, let's do that. I've only seen Michael once, ever, I think.
Yeah, well he sounds bad. Someone emailed in, they love, I mean his voice. Yeah, I mean his voice is so popular. they're the voice. the voice is the voice is the voice is the voice. the voice is the voice. the voice. the voice. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We. We. We. We. We. I. We. I. We. We. I. I. I. I. I. I. We. I. I. We. I. We. We're. We're. I. to. We're. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. Or we're not reading them out, are we? Hi, Josh Rob and the man who occasionally speaks
unexpectedly in a deep baritone voice.
I think he'd prefer the word producer
to describe him, but he'll take that.
Do you want this email anyway, Rob?
Yes, please.
It's not too school gates have told me they're
also there's a very sort of, I'd say a group of horny single mums that are very,
very keen on Michael's voice and I think lockdowns really, you know,
fermenting that lust. Well, do you know who else listens? Yeah.
Ed Gamble's mother-in-law, or mother-in-law to be,
yeah.
Because he texted me about his Easter, Easter lunch,
and he said, um.
Oh, he's always Easter lunch, classic.
What did he have?
All right, man.
What did he have for lunch?
Let's drug that. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, too, too, tho, too, thooooo..a, too.a, too.a, too.a'm joking. I can't find it. I can't fucking
find it. Ed Gamble, I'll tell you this story about Ed Gamble's mother-in-law. I think it's still
the same partner, but is she the person that runs the studios? She used to run the dressing
rooms. She used to run ITV studios before they got rid of was just slagging off her mom. Oh my it was all right in the
back to be fair it was a shit dresser and she knew it was like it's like a
corridor they give you but also the dinners they used to do you so you at
dinner but they would give you a lasagna as big as your head a, a lasagna as big as your ed with like chips and garlic bread 20 minutes before to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to to the the to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I was a their. their. I was just just just their. I was just their. I was just their. I was just their. I was just their. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just. they. they. they. I I I I I I I I I I I was. I I I I was. I I I. I. I I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I'm the. I'm thea. I'm just. I'm just to bea. I'm just to bea. I'm just to bea. I'm just th. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm they. I'm thetight there, they're very generous. A lasagna, as big as your head, with like chips and garlic bread,
20 minutes before you did the show.
Yeah, exhausted.
And all you want to do after that is go to sleep.
I always just, I couldn't get me head round it, it was mental.
All I wanted to do, I'd have a lasagna, all I want to do is rip the news to treadreadread, tread, tread, tres, tres, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, they.. the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to their, to to to to to to their, their, is their, is their, is their, is, is, is, is, is, their, is, their, their, their, their, their, their, their...... they. to. to. to. to. to. too, is. too, is. too, is. too, too, too, to. too, to. to. to. to. to. to. restaurants after that. I'd have been main and then over an Afro Gato, I'm just absolutely slamming Corbyn.
Eat like Eric Pickles, slag off Eric Pickles.
Right, which episode she's describing here?
A mad brummy man.
He stays up all night with a baby and as a fry up and goes to bed.
Tom Barry. Yeah.
Oh dear. A mad, brummy man.
Sorry, what was the message about Michael's voice?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Everyone says, this is the beginning of their emails,
but I love the podcast, etc.
Right, on the subject of my email,
when you were discussing naming a baby
that directly after it's born
it's probably not the best time to ask someone to make a decision
that will affect the person for the rest of their life.
It made me think of my two children.
Rosie is 13 and Wilfred is.
They put Rosie is 13 and Wilfrid is.
On the surface these names seem quite a philosopher.
He just is.
He's a human being, you're not a human doing, Josh. On the surface, these names seem quite normal and inoffensive.
But I realized last year that for short, I call them Fred and Rose.
Yeah, that in itself is not too bad, but my surname is West McCott.
When I first realized this, I suddenly declared,
oh my fucking God, I've named my children
after the two most notorious serial killers in British history.
She must have known.
Rose, my Rose, not the original Rose West,
found it funny, thankfully.
Ah, so there we go.
Wow, Fred and Rose West.
Um, Josh, I've got a salty Josh Wittakham. Oh, well, it's not really that salty.
This is an old school friend of Josh.
Hi, Robin Josh, loved your recent podcast friends of school.
As a fellow classmate of Josh's, I can confirm school dinners were in fact delivered from another school,
which was luxurious enough to have its own kitchen.
They arrived in big, bright orange hotlocks, which are regularly.
Is that correct? I don't remember them them them them them them and it's got Tiley or Tilly in a bracket. Yes, Steph Tiley. Yeah,
Stephanie. So you know Steph Tiley. Anyway, the whole phone in the older number
they reminded me of other aspects of the primary school for example. For
example, our school is so small it did require it didn't require a full-time
secretary. So basically there the someone that's someone that's coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming coming that's a that's a that's coming twice a week, which meant due to the lack of school secretary, a child in year six was nominated to be the phone monitor.
Yeah, correct.
So, is this correct?
So whenever the phone rang, this child would get, we've got to run out of their classroom
and bomb it down a corridor to answer a phone.
That is absolutely 100 percent true and I've forgotten it. Okay here we this th is th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu, thu, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. tho. tho, is tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. th. Is correct. Is correct. Is correct. Is correct. Is correct. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Okay here we go, oh this sounds like that's a routine being written for you here Josh already. Do you know what Rob? Yeah. This kind of email is
hugely, hugely helpful if for instance you're writing a book about growing up in the middle of
nowhere in the 90s. For instance, exactly. And you were slightly short of the word count so keep
reading. If you could forward the email on for me, Rob, so I just have to copy and paste, that would be ideal. And you bombed as phone monitor,
he used to bomb it down that hallway like Fatima Whitbread,
trying to find Medic Bob.
That is mad.
That is mad.
That is mad.
That is mad.
That is mad.
that if you phone, the school was so teen. A year six would have to run and answer the phone. Yeah. That is phenomenal.
Anyway, Josh was the year above me in school, but as our school was so teeny, there
was only two classes.
Yeah.
We were in the same class for years.
There was one incident where we had a supply teacher coming twice a week to
teach us science.
It's now concerning to think our standard teacher wasn't. One day she gave about 10 of us brand new glass thermometers each for an experiment.
She explained that to call them we had to hold them in the air.
She went on to explain that actual scientists waved them in there to call them down quicker,
but we will be doing this due to the risk of breakage.
To this day I still will not understand why you would give that information
to a group of 910 and 11 year old. mental that 9-10-11 were all tall at the same level. You know, following my very scientific temperature checking, I calmly held my thermometer
in the air to call.
When I say calmly, there was a small amount of calm waving like the scientist I wanted
to be.
The item clearly ended up on the floor in pieces.
My mom made me pay the 12 pound to replace it out of my pocket money, which took me six weeks in the early 90s the most annoying thing
of the most annoying thing about this whole event is that I would have gotten
away with my original statement of I'm sorry miss I was just holding it and it
accidentally dropped had mr. Widakum not piped up with she shook it miss I saw her
no I didn't do that I didn't do that.
You dirty grass.
I have no memory of that.
Snitch, grass, rat.
You dirty grass, wanker, John.
You salty grass, wanker, John.
You salty grass, bitch, what'd you want in your glass of salt, your big grass haw.
Sorry, Josh, I've got a bit carried away. Anyway, I totally agree thirty. You thirty thirty. You thirty. You thirty. You thirty thirty. You thirty thirty thirty. You thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty grass, thirty grass, thirty, thirty, you, you, th, th, th, th, you, th, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, thirty, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty grass, thirty grass, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty big grass whore? Sorry, Josh, I've got a bit carried away.
I totally agree with you on that one, Rob.
That is totally unacceptable behavior.
Yeah, but I think when you're young, when you're a kid, you do stuff like that, you know.
But you're not a grass anymore, I'd say.
I'm pretty sure he was still angered me because I was two questions two two two two two two two two two two two two two questions two two two two questions two two two two two two to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Stephanie was the only person better than me at maths. Oh wow! I can see, oh wow, there was a motive. I forgot Stephanie was so good at maths, it was
insane. She was better than you at maths in a class of three. Wow. Oh, come on. You know, thought we got
taught maths, but no, we pretty much just did booklets to work through at our own pace in our classrooms. We went to Stephanie because we were different ages.
This is not a, this is worse than if like I just, this is worse than the homeschooling we
did for our kids.
You just had a book.
Turns out Josh has a highly competitive street and you do Josh.
I'd say which I think is a parents' evening that it was important to take my time and not everything was a competition with Josh.
They're having a freaking laugh, surely.
Of course it's a bloody competition.
We're 10 years old.
It feels like it's a bit of a chemistry with you and Stephanie here.
I'm glad it's a bit of a chemistry and he's settled down.
I'm glad he's settled down.
to hear he has trying to aim for the relationship. Chris Kampkin and I had through our primary school years.
Whoa whoa whoa never gonna happen Josh did you fancy Stephanie?
Well interesting you should say that Rob. Yes I did have a brief six hour relationship
with Stephanie that she's written out of the street. You're fucking stallion.
Six hours! Wow, what a man!
To what happened, was that just in a school day or something?
No, so this is such a good story, Rob.
Well, she says, Chris Kampkin, you described them as the Posh and Bex of primary school, because
they were together in primary school.
Yeah, that would have been very prescient as we left in 1994. So I don't know how I managed to do that.
Yeah, but I don't think you called them that at the time.
I think in retrospect, you referred to the...
Because obviously the rejection from Stephanie has burnt quite deeply within you.
Right.
Well, I'd say if they were poshum back then, Rob, I was Rebecca loose.
You won't have a pig at school. How rural was this school?
You won't kill a pig.
There's a reality reference I get, Rob.
Exactly! You know that one.
Right. So, so what happened with the relationship with you and Stephanie?
Well, essentially, you know how when you're a kid and you get, you know, suddenly a boyfriend and girlfriend with someone.
It's not, you know, just because someone's decided that. You hold hands or just you're near them for a bit because you're right. Yeah, exactly.
That happened after school we were having a party one time, various people. And then Stephanie
was stood on a sleeping bag. Yeah. Ask me to take the sleeping bag from under her feet,
which I think, I don't rush a blood at the head. I try to do that to do to do to do their.... to do their. their. their. their. their. their.. their. their. to to their. their. to. to. to. to. S. to. to. to. their. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah................................................................................ the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tried to do that trick with the table cloth and
the things.
Yep.
She went over, I was dumped, game over, back with Kristen.
Well, she said she'd like to apologize for letting you down though.
I just don't think the whole white, blonde, curly hair thing did it for me. Maybe I could have been friendlier than the no way she gave you
when that note was passed across the classroom. She has made that. Oh, did you pass her a note?
I have no memory of that, Rob. Well, maybe your brains, because she rejected you, your brains
got rid of that memory. Yeah. Brains look after themselves, don't they? Exactly. That's absolutely fascinating. This stuff, wow. I mean, I'd love that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooo. th. that they? Exactly. And she screamed no way at you. This Steph stuff, wow. I mean I would love to know is she still with Chris Campkin?
I don't think so because they both went to my secondary school and they weren't together at that point.
Chris Campkin, I follow on Instagram and he works on those David Attenborough documentaries. Does he? He's a catch? He's a cat. Do you one of those poshosh b pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos pos posh, I I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, is a th, is a the, is th, is tho, is th, is th, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is thian, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is thi, is thi, is thi, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is still their, is still their, is still thi thi. thi, is still to those posh bloke at the end that show you how they made it? It's never always posh and it's never
like never a geyser. Judging my Instagram, yeah, it's not it's not a hive of working class activity.
No, no, me and Christopher and Jasper were here for seven weeks waiting for the reticulated draft to arrive and what a site it was. It's never just like. We're just waiting for Attenborough to text us what he wants.
He has got a special camera judging by his Instagram.
He's got like a camera that he's always going on about.
Well, that's maybe why, maybe, you know,
to be fair though, you know, she picked well Stephanie,
she got some that worked on Atambrist shows. You know what I mean? Well, there we go. Do you know what?
It's interesting.
Just how different you remember things.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think genuinely though, my brain is very good at deleting stuff that was traumatic.
But what happens is your consciousness is still aware of it and it still makes you
behave in certain ways from it, right? This is getting a bit deeper as a philosophical.
That's why people go to therapy because you talk about things,
and as you talk about it, you go, bloody hell, that happened.
So that explains why I act like that in certain situations.
So like for example, I did a corporate and I died on my ass.
It was over in Celtic manner in Wales, right? I was told toldldldldldldldldldldldldldldldldldldld, liked, liked, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, because, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, because, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, threathi, threathi, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why, that's why told it was formal black tie event. I went like I was hosting a raw variety and it was for a mechanics and every, there was people there
in shorts and flip-flops. It was meant, it was like butlin's function room like vibe. It
was in the beautiful Celtic manor and I walked on and I got the name of the company wrong as smart as you've ever seen and I got the name of the company wrong.. the wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I was f f f f f f f f f. I was f. I'm the the the the the the the the the their. I off and I died for 20 minutes to absolute silence and then it was awful and I run off and then there was a tour
manager that I went we just got in the car and drive and he just drive to drive and he drove and
as soon as we got to a garage I went in and got six Kansas Stella and down three of them the thoo them just to escape and the the way on the their their th. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. And then thrown. And then thrown. And then the was thrown. And then the was tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thrown tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th and it was their their their their their their their their th and it was was was th. and it was th. and it was was the and it was was the and it was the was the was the was the was the was the was the and it was the was the and it was the and it was the and it was the and it was the and it was the an the an the an thooooooooooooooooooooooooo a thoooooo and it was tho and it was tho and it was the and itthen on the way home, some I think we took the tour driving just to be clear. Yeah, I drove me out myself. We were driving home and
then the tour manager guy took the wrong turn and it put another half an hour
on the journey. It was horrible. The atmosphere was awful in the car and it was one of the worst nights of my today in. And in like two days later, today, the tomorrow, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha, and tha, and the tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and the the the the, and the, and the, and the, and the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the the the the the tha. And toe. And today, and the today, and the a today, and the a thea. toe. And toe. And toe. And tthat evening just because my brain was like all control and delete task manager get
rid get rid end program and so I think that stuff like that might have happened
but if the first time you get rejected by a girl at school even if you're
like a it is brutal wouldn't it? I just don't believe it happened Rob
to the to the theyrothed role to you having a bad gig obviously.
I just don't believe it happened.
No, that was bad also.
I pride myself on smashing gigs for mechanics.
I still think the best performance ever gave was at the Air Condition and Refrigeration Awards.
You know, you're going to give me a brand called Smeg, I'm going to deliver some fucking
home runs. Anyway, Josh, I've got one more, should we do this one before we introduce our guests?
I've put out an appeal to anyone who's listening who's got stories about going to primary school with either of us.
Oh yes, I have to give us any memories of ourselves at primary school that we can then see whether we remember.
Yeah, let's know. I mean, where I went to primary school, Josh, a couple of my mates from primary school, didn't know what podcasts were until about 18 months ago.
So I don't know, you know, I still think it's a stiff neck dominated world,
but I think a few loose neck mates at my, most of my mates from school
listen to the magic sponge I did with Jimmy Bullard. A bit more geeseer,
you're less late to get Philip pissing in people's shoes for banter. Right, here we go.
Hi, Rob and Josh.
All the talk about how Josh's daughter will react to her new sibling remind me of this
story.
Many years ago, now a friend of mine had a six-year-old boy and a newborn baby girl.
She had left the children unattended together for five minutes while she
she went into the kitchen was playing quietly. I do love all these stories where it's obvious that the children are being cared for,
but parents or friends of parents have to make it clear that it was safe in case, like
the NSPCZ are listening where I was playing quietly.
Yeah, they were fine, they were just playing with knives and starting the gas fire.
Anyway, they were safe. They were strapped in the boy was playing quietly. She heard him giggling while she was in the kitchen but thought nothing of it. She came back into the living room to her
absolute horror discovered what a little boy had been doing. He had only
decorated his little sister's face with a black permanent sharpy markupin.
She rang the GP for advice and was told she could only wipe it daily with
cotton wall and water and mild soap and she
could not scrub her daughter's delicate skin.
She had to go about her daily life.
How old is the daughter?
Sorry?
Newble, you're talking like strapped into his chair though, she said.
Oh no, no, chapped in the chair though, she said, oh no, no.
She can probably support about a daily life and attend baby weighing clinics with a baby's face covered an oh so slowly
fading marker pen. Oh God, that awful, try to, because if you explain it's sort of quite
funny but then the judgment comes, don't it? So where were you? Does it say how long it took?
Yeah, no, she says my daughter's 16 now and her face is still coloured in.
No, I would just say a few weeks to disappear, so.
Do you know what, that's quicker than I'd have thought?
That's the only positive, is a few weeks.
Well, there's only one way to find out how long it was takes.
When your baby arrives, Josh, give moustache on it. Maybe go for a blue, a bit of a smurfib, and see how long it takes.
Why not?
Why not?
Wicked.
Okay, well, Josh, we introduce our guests this week.
Who have we got this week?
We have the brilliant Jess Nappet who has one child and she has moved back to the UK during lockdown from a certain place called LA.
And now lives in a lovely Yorkshire village.
Yeah, what a culture shop. Where she grew up?
Where she grew up? Because it always happens. It's happened to me, I'm not too far.
I'd like to go back to where I grew up and settle a few scores about lies that have been told about me a primary school.
Oh dear, look, look, look, we can get more info from Stephanie about that note being passed.
Maybe you could sue for sloth me.
If you could forward on her email address, roll.
Oh, don't make it happily married.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't go down that path.
It's nostalgia.
Right, here's Jess Snap it and enjoy people and we'll speak to you next week.
After we speak after the episode. Back to school signals a fresh start for students.
New classmates, new teachers, new lessons.
Change is in the air.
But one thing hasn't changed.
The forward government still isn't investing in public schools.
Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need.
They can't wait another year.
If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better
Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario.
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Hello. Jess, Nappet. How are you?
Hi, lads.
Should we pretend that we haven't just had a 20-minute tech nightmare?
Can we? Yeah, I mean, we could, or, you know know we could tell everyone all about it but
I think it would be as as boring an intro as the last 20 minutes would be. I do
that's you know that's fair enough but we should we should say you're in
Yorkshire and your internet is patchy correct? Yes. Correct. Rob are you putting
those out as two separate facts are you trying to relate them?
No, I'm just saying it must, has it been a difficult pan like online at home work in
pandemic with slower broadband? It honestly has only just happened in like the last few
weeks that it started getting this bad. When I was in right the beginning of the pandemic I was in a much more remote cottage because my husband's American so we were
living in we were living in LA which I can't say without something like a
twans. No yeah I think that's fair enough. You can't say you can say
America that sounds better but then when the more specific you get
California that sounds a bit wonky and specific you get California, living in California that sounds
a bit wonky and then you say I was living in LA people are all right, fuck off mate.
The West Coast?
Could you say the West Coast?
That's worse, isn't it?
That's worse, that is worse.
That is worse.
That is worse.
I think is that.
the opposite side to America to New York. Could you say that? So I was living in the opposite side to America of New York. Oh no I can't say that. I can't say that physically. It sounds
like someone writing a book that isn't hitting their word limit. You sound like you're speaking
from experience from experience. I don't know what you're talking about yes. But if I were to write a book.
I would reference the show I'm a celebrity get me out of here now a lot because that really pumps through the word count if I were to, but I'm not saying I
am. And so you were living in LA, Jess, and for the listeners, what's your child set up?
My child is one child of three years old.
Okay, and we've had that child, that girl in LA, correct Had her in London and then transported
her back and forth between London and LA for two years of the poor child's
life. How's the life of you presumably if you're going between London and LA
with a baby? It's a lot of long haul flights it's a lot of long haul flights it's a lot
of just being tired and changing nappies on
planes and getting told off by airstesses and you know.
What was he to get told off for? I changed a nappy on a seat once and apparently you're
not allowed to do that.
Well, the pilots was it? Do you think that's quite a harsh rule? Yeah, it was a free seat wasn't. It wasn't someone who got up to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go their their to go their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to get to get to get to get to get toeys. toes. toes. toes. toes. toes. toes. toes. toes. toes. their their their the? Do you think that's quite a harsh rule? Yeah it was a free seat wasn't it?
It wasn't someone who got up to go to the toilet and you'd use their seat while they were gone was it?
I don't know but it wasn't it wasn't a dumb. It was a it was just a wet now and I was like, all right I'm going to put it in the bin. But I'm making myself sound. I'm making that's making making I've said it now. That was my opening gambit as well.
I think that's an acceptable thing to do. So was it a seat you'd paid for or was it a rogue seat?
Well, it was a rogue seat and I, because what had happened was my husband had bought a ticket,
but the last minute decided he wasn't coming. So I was flying alone with her and
then so that I had bought her a seat because she was just at that age where she was just at
that age where you have to buy her seat but she was like. They don't sit in at the
tool. No they don't. But she was just at that age where she couldn't sit on my knee.
Yeah. So you was operating a three-seat system? So I did have a three-seat system
on the go and for some reason the air hostess just sort of took a
disliking to me because I had three seats. And right from the off she was
quite rude to me and then at one point she said we do have other people
with children on this plane, you know.
They're not the ones that hate me.
It's the one without children that hate me.
Yeah, actually we got a, we got quite a good system going down because basically, if you've
got, if you're flying on a long haul flight, you get TV screens, don't you?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm kind of like this anyway as a parent, just
my motto is whatever it takes.
I think that is a great motto. I've given up, I've given up with any kind of rule and it's
pointless because like, I mean, I don't want to be having arguments with a three-year-old.
So, so you're saying let them have whatever they want is your approach?
My approach is, honestly, just, yeah, whatever they want.
Actually, what was quite nice is I read Philip Perry's book, I know she's been on the show,
and that she has a technique called love bombing.
So what is love bombing? It's when you do whatever they want all day and
they're in charge and so like if they want to play it being you know jungle animals then you do
that and then whatever food they want to make you make it with them. You do basically whatever
they want to do all day. They have the best day ever and then they love you at the end of the day that's the idea. Okay and did you do you th you th you th you th you they th you they they they th you they they they they th you they they they they th you do they they they do they they they do they do they do they do they do they do they do they do they do they do they do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. they th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they want to do all day. They have the best day ever. And then they love you at the end of the day, that's the idea. Okay, and did you do it? And so I did that
and then I realized this is, she's having a great time, I'm happy. I'm just going to do this all the time. So is it supposed to be like every now and again? Yeah, you're supposed to do it like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, th. th. to, th. th. to, th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, like to be like for a special bonding experience. Oh I see but you just do it her life is a whole special
bonding experience. She's the happiest child in the world. It's easier. It's a
bank holiday lifestyle. I just do honestly whatever's easy. What of the
last time you had to say no though and you had to go no that's not happening? Well usually I've there's a work around like last night there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there the the the there was the their their their their their their their was their was th. th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. thi. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to the. to the. the. the. th go no that's not happening. Well usually I've there's a workaround but last night there was a tantrum because she'd got a graze on
her stomach from nursery and when she got in the bath it's stung obviously and
then she was kicking off because it really hurt and so I said I'll get you a
poor patrol plaster because she loves and then that calmed her down and then I went
downstairs and I was like oh we haven't got any fucking poor patrol plaster. Oh that is a heart
break when that happens. Never specify the plaster. God what we're going to do but that was the only
thing that calmed her down. Yeah. So then I had to and I was like what I should do now is just be like no we haven't got any deal with it. That's what th. th. the th. the the th. the th. their. th. their. th. th. their. th. th. their. th. their th. th. th. th. that. that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to that's. to that's. that's. to that's. to to to that's. Oh. to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their to. their their their their to. their their their toole. their that's. that's. that's. with it. That's what that's what other parents do. I'm quite excited about this now. What did you do? I rummaged
through the sticker book collection, found a sticker of sky from Paul Patrol,
stuck it on a plain adult plaster and then came in and said here it is. I think
I think that's okay I thought you'd gone to then came in and said, here it is. Because she's...
I think that's okay.
I thought you'd gone to the shops in a pandemic.
No, basically she's a spoiled brat, but I'm kind of packaging it as like something that
I'm doing for my sake.
But I think that's a nice thing you've done.
I think that it's creative.
I mean, did she fall for it? did. She's an idiot. But what happens when she's not an idiot anymore and she gets older and she starts
to be aware of this setup?
Have you planned for that or are you just going to continue love bombing?
No I haven't planned for that.
I don't know.
She'll probably still keep getting stars from me for doing nothing.
Have you got a star system then?
But it's been absolutely destroyed because, well obviously she figured out where the stars
were and just gets them herself and puts them down.
And I just let her do that because it makes her happy.
What about your partner? Does he have to do more of the discipline or the rules or is he the same?
He's got a bus slip at the moment because she nutted him last night.
Oh my God.
Absolutely true.
I mean, yeah, I think he probably takes...
I don't know if we're like good cop and bad cop though. I think that's just sort of,
it's just anarchy really. He's like very, very calm.
Or is he just emotionless?
I don't know, but I enjoy finding out.
Do you, I find, I like, I've become more into anarchy in the last six months.
Yeah.
I find it quite thrilling to have my kitchen turn into complete anarchy. Well, I, I've been thinking this that I quite like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, like, like, like, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I like, like, like, I like, I like, I th like, I th like, I th like, I th like, like, I th like, like, I like, I thrilling to have my kitchen turn into complete anarchy.
Well, I've been thinking this, that I quite like, I quite like to just,
why does anyone care if things are messy?
I think this is just what this year has done to me, it's just like, everything's pointless anyway.
I mean, one of the things that I genuinely don't want her to be is like a good girl who obeys all the rules...... the rules the rules. the rules. the rules. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, th, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I I, I, I, I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thithe things that I genuinely don't want her to be is like a good girl who obeys all the rules. Yeah. So I'm trying to like teach her.
Yeah that would be terrible wouldn't it? To do I wanted to do things my way sure but no one likes
the goody-two shoes and so when she because sometimes I can see a a bit of edge I wanted to have some edge and so I can see her being the th. the th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. I put th. I put th. I put th. I put th. I put th. I put th th th th th th th th th to to to th. I put to to to thinks thinks to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. I th. I th. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I toy. I toy. I toys toys toys toys toys tho. tho. tho. thooo. to tho. to have a bit of edge? I wanted to have some edge and so I can see her being like,
I put my toys away and I did this thing and like, I want to start,
I'm like, yeah, all right, but good girls turn into good women
and then, you know, that's how the patriarchy control us forever.
I love the way you turn into just can't asked to tell my daughter no into a big feminist
movement. Whatever it takes Rob. Actually it's probably quite good if she just does whatever
she wants because then eventually she would smash the patriarchy and then it cuffs too when she's in like
youth offenders and you going I shouldn't have let her nut him. It's good fun though isn't it?
Yes I know what you mean. You don't want a boring kid dear. Oh God th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th. Oh, th th th th. Oh, th th. Oh, th. th. the th. the th. the th. the the th. tho, the the the the tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. te. too. too. too. too. too too too too too too too too too too too too too too th him. It's good fun though, isn't it? Yes, I know what you mean.
You don't want a boring kid, dear?
Oh God, no.
So let me tell you this.
I've got a friend.
I'm going to change the details.
Although I know he doesn't listen to the podcast.
But he's got a spoon out the drawer.
Didn't ask for it.
Started playing with it and that's not what we're doing.
And I thought, should I stop her?
Because have I lost my authority?
And I was like, what kind of fucking Nazi concentration can be running?
Getting a spoon out the drawer is a problem.
Also, a spoon is a good toy in my house.
Yeah that does that I think some people I get really panicked when their kids
just mess about. Yeah well that's not that a spoon's not a toy and you're like what
is wrong with you if it keeps them quiet for 10 minutes anything's a
fucking toy mate. But I think is I get with your sand jest because you I want my kids to my kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their their. I'm to to their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm where you're saying yes because you I want my kids to be polite and nice but you don't want them to be sort of you know I'm shouted
down and they just do what everyone says at school and stuff they need to
be able to hold their own but I'm a bit anti my kids having edge because of
the sort of the you know the family circles I moved in growing up my cousins had a bit too that kind of joke so I'm thi the the the the th so th so the th so th so th so th so th so I'm th so I'm th so I'm th so I'm the th so I'm th so I'm a th th th thin so thin so th the the the the the tho the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th sort of... Boy don't listen to you too, isn't it?
Yeah.
A bit of fun. Just a bit of family fun, that kind of joke.
Did you have quite a sensible upbringing and stuff then?
Was it quite serious and sensible in your house? Or was it silly and anarchy?
Oh no, it was absolutely feral.
Absolutely. I mean, it is no exaggeration to say that my brother and I nearly died several times.
Yeah.
How old was she when she left the UK then? What age did you go to America?
Oh yeah. Oh well, I mean, on and off for years. We kept going back and then the last time we went, she just turned one. One and two-ish, she was in America, two and a half. And then, two-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-a-of-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-I th-I th-I th-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-and-I thi-I thi-I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi-a thi-a thi-e thi-e thi-e thi-n thi-n thi-n thi-neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee toe toe thi thi thi thi thi thi ththen the last time we went she would she just turned one one and two is she was in America two and a half and then she yeah
she was like two and a half last year when when we left on you know when
things started kicking off is that why you left yeah well we've been what I'm
so delighted about this happening this year is
aside from the global chaos is just just that like my husband and I have been having this ongoing argument about which country to live in.
And I won. And it was just so good because I, because England made such a good case for itself because America is mental
obviously and like I wasn't having a very good time because as great as LA is it's like it's
full of people who are sort of you know at the top of their game and successful and that's great
and everything but like obviously the other 90% are just like Orlando blooms time's hard to go.
They're just all sort of like
brain octane oil, I'm a Capricorn. You didn't like that kind of LA lifestyle.
I wasn't mad about it and I also really felt like they hated kids generally and
they'd be like oh you you brought your daughter to a restaurant that's okay
we'll see what we can do. It's just not very kid friendly and you've got to drive on a motorway to get daughter to a restaurant? That's okay we'll see what we can do. It's just not very kid-friendly and you've got to drive on a motorway to get
anywhere and that just made me scared basically. So anyway we came back
because my my mom who lives, so we've moved back to where my where I grew up, my to the the the the where I grew up.
My mom who brought me up in chaos as I I've said, phoned me, drunk and said, you've got
to come back.
This was like, before it all picked, you know, she was like, I've been talking to the girls
and you've got to come back home because my life is, you know, dictated by a group
of drunk men and pauels and women. So she's been talking to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the girls to to the girls the girls to the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls, thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. Wea thi. Wea' the girls, the girls, the girls, the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls, the girls, the girls, I I the thoom. I tho, I have tho, I have thoomorrow, I have thoomorrows, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. Shea, thoooooom. Shea,. And so she's been talking to the girls and that means I have to do what the girls have said.
Anyway, we arrived back in Leeds and my mum picked up from the airport and told us that she changed her mind and we couldn't stay with them.
Oh wow, God.
We didn't have anywhere to stay. So we hired, we rented a cottage in Yorkshire
Dales and it was absolutely lovely and then we had that really like nice time
that every, you know people obviously were having an awful time but we were
very lucky in in the countryside but then also with a daughter who was
potty training and doing that thing that they do where they drop their nap,
but we didn't realize that that was what was happening.
But that's, you know, that's a nice place for it to happen.
Yeah, and they were like chickens and lambs and it was kind of idyllic.
But then we moved into a town and now we live in the town where I used to go out when I was a teeneeea, what's that like to go back to where you were from?
It's really weird because the first, when my husband first moved here was like,
oh my god, it's amazing it's got a tennis club and he went down to the tennis club and like
booked in for a match and the first person he booked in for a match was my childhood boyfriend. Oh wow! He got absolutely thrashtest, isn't it? Oh boy, he got absolutely
thrashed as well as my husband. It's on his home court, isn't it? Home court
advantage? I mean, yeah, it's weird sort of walking around being like, yeah I got
chucked out of that bar. I don't think I'm actually technically allowed to go in there.
Do you see people from your school then a lot and stuff like that? I don't think I'm actually technically allowed to go in there.
Do you see people from your school then a lot and stuff like that?
I do a bit, yeah.
Basically that's a few people who've lingered and then, yeah, some people who've come back.
Will your daughter go to the same school you went to?
No, that would be weird wouldn't it?
But I mean she could.
Have you, have been crashed? Have you, have so this is it? Yeah I've completely won.
How does he feel about this? It was his idea and does he love it? Yeah he honestly
does like it he's enjoying it. If I moved to a plate so he doesn't know anyone
except presumably your family yeah no I know but and it is weird because at
the moment we're not obviously missing that she can't see anyone anyway. Yeah but I am I'm worried
about what's going to happen when we come out of all this. Are you going to
have to kind of make friends? Yeah and he keeps being like my husband keeps
being like oh right so what you know where should we go on holiday
where should we do you know let's go let's go and let's book a staycation I'm a bit like I've seen you
I mean yeah it would be nice for me to go and see some of my other friends it's
hard now isn't it because what are you get what are we gonna do is I feel like
this is a new end of lockdown dilemma it's like you going to go and spend your time
with first? And can you bring your children? These six people in a garden
things really limiting in a weird way. Under fives don't count? Under fives don't count.
Yeah so I'm going to have a hundred under fives over for my birth
that and five adults. Well this is fine because we don't have six friends yet. Yes. I mean so how she get, how often is she the th th th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi thi to thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And to thi. And th. And to th. And th. And can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. you thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And this is fine because we don't have six friends yet. Yes.
I mean, so how often is she at nursery your daughter?
Full time, five days a week.
Like nine to five?
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, it did, yeah, it did close for a few weeks
because they had eight cases of COVID.
And then that was when it was like, wow, I really am. I really, you know, and I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind I kind, I kind, I kind, I kind, I kind, I kind, th, I'm, th, th, th. that, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How to, how to, how to, how to, how to, how to, how that, how that, how thi, how, how th. How th. How th. And then that was when it was like, wow, I really am. I really, you know,
and I kind of felt like I'm a mom now. Like I just, that's all I can do is just be a mom. I can't do a mom.
I can't do any other work. And I'm kind of glad that I had that time so that I can realize
like I do like being a mom. I just don't going to be like your childhood then in Yorkshire?
Yeah, I guess so. Except she's going to be like the weirdo that's got a slightly American
accent.
Well, has she still got even at your three? She's still got a bit of a twang?
Yeah, they didn't, they thought she,
nursery, the teacher said to me that they thought that she was asking for a party the other day and she was going I want a party I want a party and they
relayed the story to me and then they realized as she was pissing on the floor
that she was saying that she wanted a potty. I mean the thing is with your
daughter obviously her asking for a party at home she'd get a party.
Oh yeah, I mean we had a party at the weekend. We had a Mexican themed Fiesta.
Oh wow, that's nice. I actually really recommend doing this.
Inventing parties to have the kids. Yeah. I'm a big fan of that. Do you do it?
Do you do it? Yeah, I invented Lego Day and kept on saying it's Lego Day in six days and all we did was
do a bit of Lego and watch a Lego film. But I delivered the info like it was Christmas.
Yeah, but what are you getting, see Mexican Fiesta basically I got really excited about it because we're
going to have fajitas and then. Yeah, we just call that Tuesday in our house.
Yeah, but then you put some music on, have a little, we had a little dance, did some
karaoke, we all got dressed up, not like those Mexican people, just got dressed up.
And then...
A bit of cultural appropriation.
Yeah.
It must be hard to get a sombrero in the middle of Yorkshire and a pandemic, do they
do them at Tesco? Is that an essential item? Oh God. they basically just involve me making margaritas and getting going drunk and then
my husband having to put her to bed and get her up in the morning because I was too
hung over.
But that's why I really like having parties.
How do you split the parents in with your partner because you've both got quite strange
jobs that aren't sort of regular? You're an actor and is the air guitar champion? I mean that's not his job. I thought he went around the world doing
air guitar. I think we've done well Rob, 26 minutes to not mention that. We both wanted to ask
about the air guitar. Well no but I thought that was his full-time job the air guitar. Can you imagine? No he's a documentary producer. He works for documentary? I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's not. I that's that's that's that's th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I job? No, he's a documentary producer.
He works for a documentary.
I've spent the last three years thinking you're going out with a full-time air guitarist,
Jess.
I mean, there was a time when he did actually do that mostly for a living because he wrote a book about it and he was making a documentary about.
How good is it? Yeah.
the air guitar? Oh, he's's actually Or just at life. Right. Well, we'll take we'll take air guitar first but then we'll come to life after us.
Because I've always wondered is he really good at air guitar or are other people just not bothering?
Do you know exactly what you mean? It was not I mean it it the truth is he was in the world. I mean the documentary that was made about him is all
about his failing at it.
Yeah, but didn't he get to number two in the world?
Yeah, he's only, he's like the runner-up in America and then it was a runner-up globally.
So he's not even the best air guitarist in the world.
Okay, so that's not his full-time job. I'm sorry about. I just the the gn, I, I the gn, I the gi the gi the gi the gi, I'm the gi, I'm the gi, I'm the the the the th. I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoomo, thoo thoo tho thooo thoo thooo thoo thoo tho tho tho tho thoo tho tho tho that's not his full-time job I was mistaken, I'm sorry about it. I just say the gigs must have dried up. I don't
know if you can air guitar on Zoom if there's a market for them? Well you laugh
but the most recent World Air Guitar Championships did take place over Zoom.
And the world and he normally hosts them and I think he is hosting it again over Zoom this because they're in Finland of course.
Yeah, good thing about as well.
If your internet's patchy, it doesn't matter if the sound cuts out, does it?
You can still shred.
But then if your sound is out of sync with your image, then you're the worst air guitarist
there could be right.
Oh my god, yeah, and then you might look stupid.
Exactly. Or if it free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free free. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I is to. to. thi. to. I is to. to. to. thi. thi. I is thi. thi. thi. on one massive note, they won't know if you're just like
really rinsing it or if it's frozen. But obviously, whether he is the air guitar champion or not,
documentary making and acting, they're both sort of jobs where you could be doing nothing for a month
or away filming and not at home at all. So how, is it just sort of, whatever work comes in,
you work out the childcare? Yeah, I mean I do do a lot of screenwriting as well so I'm mainly doing, that's what I'm
mainly doing in the day. But I also, when I'm filming it, I just was filming something for a few weeks.
And yeah, I mean, he just basically has to deal with it because I can't bring it to a sec, can I? So I mean, we did, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do do, I do, I do, I do, I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do, I do do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I the, I thee, I thee, I do, I thee, I do, I do, I do, thee, I do thee, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I mean, he just basically has to deal with it because I can't bring her to sec, can I?
So, I mean, we did, like, yeah,
just sort of leave it up to him
and then he just has to work.
I mean, he starts, because he's on LA time,
so he starts most of his work at about 8 o'clock at night.
So when I was filming, what he was doing was just looking after and the nursery was closed he was looking after our daughter all day and then start starting work 8 o'clock
at night. Is he on LA time because of work or he just couldn't be bothered to
deal with the jet la? He's a stubborn man. He should have adapted by now shouldn't
they? No wonder he lost that tennis match he was in the middle of the
fuke night for it. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's th. He's th and stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very subin. He's very very very subin. He's very very very sub-a but to be so so so so so so so so so so so stubborn. He's very very very subi. He's very subi. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's very stubborn. He's a stubborn man. I mean it's just a lot isn't it being with the
same person all the time, same two people all the time. I mean it has been in
many ways it has been nice. I'm just ready to go out again. What's your first
night out going to be? Disappointingly what we're looking at is a meal it's just going to be me and him.
Oh mate. No no I mean, it's fine.
Midler May.
What have you done today?
Nothing again.
Oh look, that waiter.
I used to go out with him.
I've actually cocked off of four of the waiting staff in here.
Enjoy you meal.
God, Dave.
Because I, we haven't had the full experience of like actually going out around town
yeah. Well what happens if it's quite a small place if your kid makes friends
with your exes children and then you've got to hang out as parent friends
because you don't get to choose your kids are friends with? No I mean
I mean that's very it's a very real possibility. But then that is, that is any
small town, isn't it? I just see it as like, you know, on Maiden Chelsea where they all just
like get, they just all gulf with each other and then they're just mates again and then
they're, and then, they all just like swap and, was saying I realized that it sounded that way. I think there is a bit of that around here.
Yeah well it's like any small town isn't it? Yeah yeah you're right.
I don't know anyone that's played tennis with their girlfriend or wife's
ex-partner immediately on arrival to a country. I know it's weird isn't it? It's gonna, yeah and it's just gonna get
weader. But the good thing is that I can just go, I've got so many good
excuses to just go down to London to work and stuff. So I get to have my own,
like little... I highly recommend living in a town that's quite far away
from where you are required to work. I was filming something recently I was
staying in a hotel and like it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
What did you do with your evenings? One day there was one day where I wasn't
I didn't even have any filming to do I just had to wait the day out in a hotel.
Oh my god that must have been amazing. It was absolutely amazing. How long, what's the
long as you've been away from your daughter? Filming or... Well I was just away
for like 10 days actually. Oh it's quite a junkie time. It was a long time and I did miss her.
Did you miss her? I did miss her? lot, yeah. She missed me because obviously she gets what
she wants when she was absolutely come believe what was going on. Do you have arguments with
your partner about parenting and things that you've given or her or not done or you know?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, we're arguing, we're always arguing about ways of doing things.
I mean, mostly it is just like, he gets upset that I give her whatever she wants.
But then he, he succumbs, she woke us up the other day because she couldn't find...
I mean, the waking up thing is just ridiculous at the moment.
Like, there's no need for her to wake us up in
the morning like she can just play on her own. What time she wake you up?
Sometimes it's half five. It's usually he's a killer. It's usually six but I really do
think she can just get herself out of bed and play with a Port Patrol thing.
And you tell her that? I've I've lost the ability to, we had the moon and the sun thing. You know have you got all those
moon and sun machines? The sleep clock thing. So it tells her when it's night and when it's day.
Yeah clocky, clocky. And then I went up and one day and it was the moon and she was like, is it all right?
And I couldn't go, no, see in 20 minutes, bye.
Well no, but it wouldn't work if you did anyway, would it?
No, it wouldn't have worked anyway, but now I've seen that moon every morning for the last four weeks, I reckon.
Oh yeah. We just tell them to go back to bed.
No, wait until the sun comes up and they did go back to bed But now they've learned how to make it go into the sun
Ah, they've tricked it. Yeah, no I mean the sun is never up on clocky in our house Okay, that's what we're aiming for in life, but she like she came into our in this morning she was like I can't we told her this told her. I'm thr. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. thr-I thrific. thrific. they're they're they're they're they're they're their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tr. they're tr. tr. tr. tr. true. true. true. true. I've true. I've true. I've true. I've true. I've true. I've they're they're they're tri. I've they're theyld her go and play and she was like, I can't, I need my other cone.
What's a cone?
A little traffic cone that she was playing with,
it's like so specific.
It's always like something so weird and specific,
isn't it, that they really, really need.
Yeah. So we had to go and, that was the thing that got us out of bed the other cone. I'll go go, I I I that, that that was that was that was that was that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going. that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going. that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going that was going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. I that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was going. I. I was going to look for the other cone. I'll be honest with you I think I
think they know that mate that's what happens to me. Yeah when I'm looking for
something that I know I know I'm not going to find and I know if I fail to
find it it's going to absolutely kick off. Yeah I'd say that is the
unhappiest I ever am and I'm just delaying the inevitable while we're looking for this glitter that's in this drawer that I know isn't in the drawer.
You'll soon find the glitter once I've used it.
Absolutely everywhere.
Glitter can fucking do one.
Glitter really can fuck off.
I tell you what I have seen an adult do before.
We went to look at a few houses in South East London and some people have diamonte on the wallpaper. Oh that's th. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. I've th. I'll th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'll th. I'm the. I'm the. I'll theeeeeole. I'll thea ontes on the wallpaper. Oh that's classic. Have you ever seen that? Oh
that's taseful. Little gems? Little d'amonta gems. Like a
vajasal but on your walls. And does that add to the value of the house Rob?
To a certain demographic? Did you say do I get to keep the wallpaper? But that is the house of a blololoke the the the the the the the the the of of a the the the the the tholk? the thokekekekekekekekekekedokoke of of of of to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the the tho. the the the the the the the the thoooooooo. too. that's that's that that that that that that that that that that tho. Did you say do I get to keep the wallpaper?
But that is the house of a bloke who does not give a shit about what it looks like on the inside, isn't it?
If you've allowed a diamonte wallpaper.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you're either cheating or your absolute walkover.
You're having an affair.
That's the sign that you're having an affair. Yeah, Kolsov. Yeah, wherever you want, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th you're th you're tho, th you're th you're th you're th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, tho' tho' tho' th. Yeah, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. tho' tho' tho' tho'a. thoooooooooooooooooo'a. But, thooooooooooooooooooooooo'er. But, that's the sign that you're having an affair.
Yeah, course, love. Yeah, wherever you want, don't worry, yeah, it's fine.
Just take it out of the joint account. Yeah, course, yeah, yeah, don't worry about me.
You're just walking into house going, oh, Daimonte wallpaper, is he having an affair?
Almost definitely. Also, flowers have arrived for no reason. Oh, I wonder what he's up to, working late, working, working to work to work to work to. the wa, the wa, the wa, the wa, the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Yeah, don't, don't, don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, to. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's to to too, too, too, too, too, to to to that. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thoo, to tho again. The wallpaper shop when they get the call from the wife ordering the Diamante wallpaper
thinking the poor woman doesn't even know.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
You and your husband are going to come down to pick it up?
Oh no, he's on a business trip, is he?
Of course he is.
How many bedrooms are we doing? Okay. Get the diamont diam d diam d diam d diam d diam d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d diam d diam d d d diam diam diams. the diamet diiams. the diam-in di di di di di di di di di diamon diams out the diamon. the diamon. thi thi thi thi thi thi the diamon. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the thi thi the thi thi. thi. thi. thi. th divorcee to be Diamonty order is in. Yeah, poor cow, doesn't even know it's coming.
Oh boy.
We do a thing on the show called Crosby's Law where there's something that annoys you about
the way your partner parents, but you can't really bring it up in cases a massive row. Is there something that annoys you about the way your partner parents that you would like to say on here just to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to their their it their it their it's their it's their it's their it's their their their their their their it's their it's their their their their their their their their their their their their their to even to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the tho. I their their their their their their their their that annoys you about the way your partner
parents that you would like to say on here just to get out into the open?
Oh wow, that's good isn't it? Yeah, I mean I'm already noticing that he, because he's quite
like, because of his sort of LA, like therapy, like, he's sort of, I suppose he's very good at talking about emotions in a way. In that he like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you', you', you', you', the, the, the, the,apy, like he sort of, I suppose he's very good at talking about
emotions in a way, in that like he'll say when something is upset him and it but
he'll say it like in a sort of sensible way like that actually is quite hurtful
when you say things like this instead of like getting annoyed and like
throwing something which is what I did. So what will he, what will you say? I just say you know like we'll have an argument and I'll th th th th th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he he he he he he he he he's he he's he he's he he he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho he's very he's he's he's he's he he he he he he he throw that throw something which is what I'm doing. So what will he say? I just say you know like we'll have an argument and I'll
storm off whatever and then he'll come over and say by the way when you said
that thing it was quite like upsetting and I'll just be like oh for a fuck no
it annoys it doesn't sound like a parenting problem it sounds like your
the reason it affects us as parents is because my daughter now thinks that she can say at any time,
that hurt my feelings. So basically if like I do actually do some real parenting and ask her to do something,
obviously this is probably now I'm saying it out loud making me realise that it's my fault. like I do actually do some real parenting and ask her to do something obviously
this is probably now I'm saying it out loud making me realize that it's my
fault but if I say like you know I'm gonna turn the TV off and I turn it off
then she cries and says that hurt my feelings and it's like that's like
that's not that's not and then she'll go off and cry and have a sort of sulk about it it's like what I've done to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th but that's not, and then she'll go off and cry and have a sort of soul-cabas. It's like what I've done to you isn't a thing that's hurt your feelings
and having to explain to her that's a difference between me hurting your feelings and you just not being
allowed to watch television is my husband's fault.
Yes. Fair enough.
Your husband is too emotionally
He's too emotionally intelligent, yeah, and so she's got all this language around emotions now
that makes it so that she can just sort of manipulate me. Yes, fair enough.
You need a good old-fashioned British suppression of emotions. Yes, thank you Josh.
Yep, that's yeah. And hopefully in Yorkshire you'll get that. Yes, thank you Josh. Yeah, that's yeah.
And hopefully in Yorkshire you'll get that. Oh, I think so. Are you being sarcastic? Do you think
are? Do you think? Do you think? Do you think? Do you think? There's a toughness to Yorkshire, people from
Yorkshire. I don't think they're quite fiery, but quite stiff up a lip. Do you? thi their thigh they're they're they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite st. I they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. I are. I are. I are. I are quite. I're th. I're quite. I're quite. I're quite. I're quite st. I're quite st. th. th. th. thi. I're quite stiff. thi. thi. thi. I're quite's tough, yeah. There's only one emotion that's allowed and that is anger, I would say.
And pride. Yeah. Yorkshire.
In it? Yorkshire Bank, help. I forgot you did that voice over Rob. That was a great Yorkshire.
Yorkshire. I forgot, I forgot you did that voice over Rob that was a really good job. I can do a great Yorkshire. What's good that Rob? Say some more things in New Yorkshire and it's really impressive. Was that a good one?
Yeah it was good. Yeah it was good. I can't do it now and you've put me under pressure.
I'm sorry. So I got two mates from Yorkshire, uh, Dom and Tom who did a died did a Bradford Banton's podcast and I hang about them them them them them them them th and I th and I th and I that with that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. Was thed. thed. thed. the. the. the. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I got up to Yorkshire quite a lot so I pick it up off them. But yeah but it's a trustworthy accent but I can imagine like this and I don't think they're
actually I think they're emotionally repressed as a group Yorkshire men in particular but on
their own there's a sort of humble pride to be in from Yorkshire that will like avoket as they look over the dales. Yes. I can just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the Ykhakhakhakoskoskoskoskosk. I can just just their their their their their their their they they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're they're they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're emotionally th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they're emotionally they're emotionally they're emotionally they're emotionally they're emotionally they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they just pan out on a drone and there's an old man that sort of left his you know assets to his family and it's just Yorkshire Bank. But it's
undercut he's looking at it and he's thinking it's absolutely beautiful
and there's a tab but then he goes not bad that. Yeah not bad because he can't
say it's beautiful. Great bank, great people, great county, Yorkshire.
Lovely Rob.
You've absolutely nailed it.
I've nailed that, haven't I?
Yeah, I'll take that.
You sound like my ex-boyfriend, do you play tennis?
Jess, thank you so much.
Jess, thank you so much.
Thank you.
It's been an absolute pleasure. I'll be honest with you. I thought three minutes into this,
there's no way the internet's going to hold for the full interview. But it's absolutely done it.
Yorkshire Broadband. Great connection. Great ping.
Thanks, Jess. Thanks for having me.
Cheers. Bye. Jessica Nappet. I never know it's Jess or Jessica.
You panicked. You really panicked. You won't what panicked.
Jessica, Nappet. Sounds like a pirate radio station. She has had a busy couple of years.
LA to Yorkshire. Then she was in a little cottage, arrived back in the UK, couldn't stay out of her moms and now they've bought somewhere. That's a pretty full-on couple
of years, isn't it? It's a full-on way to live the lockdown isn't it? Because I've
lived the lockdown in a complete kind of stasis I suppose. My life isn't
any different to the start of it really situation. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I'm learning, and I?
That's why some people think I'm thinking I'm the right person, Rob.
Well, that's the thing, isn't it, because some people think I'm a bit thick because I will ask that, like on tele
where a lot of people would pretend to know what someone else was saying. So what? What? they may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may they they they they they they they they they that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th thi thi thi thi thi thi tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that'm learning, aren't I then? I still haven't been on QR. They don't want me.
Do you know what?
What?
I don't know if you'd love it.
Why wouldn't I like it?
Because they get to the end of the recording,
they say you've said the word stiffneck 48 times.
And then I keep buzzing me for obvious answers.
And then someone says someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone that isn't interesting never mind quite that's just true
anyway I won't get in books on it there will I oh I don't know if they
listen to our podcast I don't know I can't imagine so I know not this point
they've all tapped out by now they've all tabbed is it is something do you
you listen to the bit after the interview?
Do email in if you listen to it after the interview.
I could really, I could really knock this bit on the head.
What are we saying?
What are we saying?
Because we've decided to do it, but we don't, no one cares this point,
you've all taught, you've all ta. It's just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. the they. their. their. their. their. to. they. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. they. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. to................................ I we do, because if I was interviewed and then they said also we've done two minutes at the end where we talk about you once you've
gone. What? That's not how it works, is it? And then what we do is we finish his recording
then I message Josh what I really think. Anyway, Jess napp it, what an absolute wanker. Cheers, guys. Yes, is lovely. Yes, Jess is lovely. We we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Jess is lovely. We all like it. Yeah. Right.
Speak to you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.