Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP24: "H from Steps and the cockatoo..."
Episode Date: April 13, 2021ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP24: H from Steps and the cockatoo...More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If y...ou want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, I'm Josh Riddickham. And I'm Robb.
Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell.
The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation. And to make me feel better about my
increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode will be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.
Or hopefully not.
And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
Hello and you are listening to lockdown parenting hell with Josh Whittakum.
Say Rob Beckett say Rob Beckett.
Rug Fungle.
Rug fungul.
Rug fungul.
Rug fungul.
Nothing else, just a bit of rug fungul.
A dog rug fungal and what sounded like Kerry Godleman playing a little cockney character.
So, this is my son Albert, great name.
Albert.
He is three years old from Miafam in Kent.
Do you know that, Rob?
Miafam?
No, but it sounds like somewhere that's fairly non-descript in Kent, so that's why they've
gone heavy on the estuary, South East London accent. Yeah. Meepepepepepepepepepepepep me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. Me. Me. Me. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I thum. I thuuu. thu. I thum. thum. thum. thum. thum. thum. thuuuuuuu. thuu. thuu. thuu. thu. thuu. thu. th. th. He. th. He. He. He. He. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. A. th. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th on the estuary, South East London accent. Yeah. How you spelling that? M-E-O-P-H-A-M. Oh MEPM. MEPM.
MEP-M! F-F-M-E-P-M-P-M! Me, you fucking Stiffnett, dick. I'm sorry I don't, I don't know
the exact pronunciation of every place in Kent. You sound like an American like Edinburgh in Birmingham, Alabama.
MEPA, near Graves End, you probably driven through it on the way to the gig.
Meppum, yeah, Population 9,500. That was in 2011. People have been fucking, probably more.
Yeah, the parish covers 6,25 square miles. Albert, Albert wasn't on that list.
No, that's one extra, yeah, Mepham, it's near Graves End.
I know Mepham, mate.
Nice.
It's all right, actually, nice little village.
Chatham's a bit lively.
I wouldn't go there, but, no, Mepham's nice.
So, that was Albert and ham's like the 1970s. He's a handful and I'm tired, she says.
That's Steph Franz, great surname, Franz.
Strans, or FRANS?
Ah no, Z, like Franz Ferdinand.
Oh, what a name?
Steph Franz.
Great name.
It feels like a German spy that just settled in Miapphe. And that's how they'd they'd they'd say me a fan rather than mep them.
Exactly. Josh, I've got a confession, I'm slightly hungover.
Oh no, Rob. I'm a parent hungover though. If I didn't have children, I'll be absolutely fine.
But when they woke you up at six, wanting stuff, you just a bit foggy.
What did you drink? I'm still on keto and I. So I've been drinking Scotch and Coke Zero like a mad divorcee.
Oh wow, Scotch and Coke is a hero. I've been on the old Chivaz. I've been playing War Zone and drinking it on my computer and it's quite tragic really.
I sort of, because when I'm in playing Warzone it is sort of like what would happen if Lou left me, I'd just do that for hours. And I actually now I just... You'd be on the keto th. C C C C C C C C C C C C C C. C. C. C. It to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm th. I. I'm th. S. S. C. C. S. C. C. C. I'm th. I'm th. S. I'm th. S. C. I'm try. Scotch. S. S. C. I'm. S. S. I'm to. S. I'd just do that for hours and I actually now I just... You'd be on the keto because obviously you'd be going back on the you know
meat isn't it to be feel manly again? Yeah. Well I get the Coke Zero can I drink some of it.
the try and then I pour the Scotch directly into the can. Oh wow why is that? that? Why is that? Save on washing up? to the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the to to to the to to to to the to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to the meat. the meat. the meat. the meat. the meat. the the the the the th. the. the. the. theat. to me to me to me to to to me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me.y of it. Has she left you? I'll be honest. Um, well, I don't, no, not yet, but
you know, lockdown's getting lifted. We'll see. Let's see what happens after Easter.
Because I'll tell you what, parenting's hard in Easter, isn't it? They're always there.
I'll be honest. I've been filming all week and the guilt is. Yes. So you've been, you didn't know that your daughter was off the nursery thage. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their th. their you thought the nursery run all year but they're off for Easter. And I've been away filming every day. You normally only do Friday
nights don't you? Also I need to before we properly crack on here Josh I've got
those talk about my children but I got a little cough I've not got COVID I've had a
test negative test it's basically driving it was a little driving just turned up down the corner quick up the nose in the throat Bobbobobobobobobobobobobobob..... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I've. I've the the they. I've got they. I've got they. I've got a they. I've got a the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I'm th. th. th. the. the. th. th. theee. they. the the the the the they. the the they the corner quick up the nose in the throat Bob's your uncle nothing wrong
Nice to get out of the house
Nice to get out of the house
But I am I do I'm bit coffee, but it's some it's not a dry cough. It's a wet cough Combined with severe hay fever because there's there's any hay fever there's been some the hay fever fever the thi? There's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the the the the the the the the tho tho tho thou. the thou. the thou. the the thou. the thou. the the thou the the the th. has been outrageous and I found out why basically when the weather goes from hot to cold which you've had we've had snow we've had
sunburn faces the pollen panics the pollen panics it panics and releases
because it thinks it's winter again get it out I see how I see
this pollen moving so so your nose is like fucking hell what's
going on here your chest gets involved before you know it you've got
guardian squint eye and you're sneezing and coughing everywhere and everyone
thinks you've bided up but I ain't got it I'm clean people do you know what
I like about this podcast you're learning as well we're learning
I know do you want some more learning do you want some more learning do
a quick bit of learning Rob yeah learn me up with this is from Annie Annie Frith. Wet cardboard isn't recyclable.
Oh, fuck off Annie Frith, alright?
I don't care anymore.
What do you mean it's non-recyclable?
It clogs up the wet mashing machines.
The wet mashing machines.
So it's going to get wet and mashed anyway?
Don't take this up with me.
Look, I'm fucking this, Josh. I'll try my best every week to do the recycling. Sundays I separate it all.
You separate it between your 14 bins?
I've got 14 bins and they're going.
Sometimes I swear the bin men and I'd say bin men,
well bin person, I've never seen a female bin person,
but I can't say bin man, can you say bin man?
Can you say bin man, I'm going to it off. Right, right. When the bin people come, sometimes I don't always put it in the recycling thing.
The bin people sounds like a children's story, doesn't it?
The bin people, like, they come out off the bin.
Now, these are the people, employed by the council,
right? It feels like I'm going to come on this show and go, I've just watched 14 episodes of the bin people. th. of watching the bin people. Do you know what
my mob do? My council do? I have to do because the little black box they give me so small and
I can't get the cardboard in here, I have to put it in a big bin, yeah? But they won't allow the
carball to be put in a big bin that clipped onto the bin lorry. I have to put it in plastic bags. So I'm only to put cardboard in plastic bags to recycle.
Fuck knows what's going on down the recycling plant Josh. But if I can't give them wet
cardboard, what can I do? I'm sick of it. It's too hard to be good. I'm with Annie. Of course you are.
I'm trying my bestage. I've stopped burning tires in my garden after listening to Greta Tumberg. She turned me off of that. I'm trying. I've not, I've not set fire to a
fridge for about two or three months now. Well we will come to, we will come to fridge.
Sorry for telling Annie to fuck off. I apologize, Annie, because she's only given us nice information.
You was learning me, but I apologize for that. I'm just sick of it, I'm just sick of it Josh. I'm trying to apologize if you knew her views on reality TV Rob. Does she not like? She's agreed with me on I'm a celebrity Rob.
Well that explains it doesn't it? Anyone that knows that wet carble cannot be recyclable
is not watching enough tele, they're doing too much reading. They're finding out too much stuff.
This is stiffnecks. You find out too much stuff and it makes you worry. Ignorance is bliss. We're not here for a long time, don't get worried about it. The way I look at the world, I know climate change is bad, but
we're fucked. We're not here for a long time if you keep giving wet cardboard to the council,
Rob. We've got to stop trying to save the world, Josh. It's dying, right? The world's dying. Let's just rag it. Let's just just just just just rag it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thine. thr- thr- thr- thr- thrug it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrug it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-I thrown. I thr-I thrown. thr-ni. thr-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-a' thri. throwneeeeeanananananan. I thi.to the scrap yard. That's my, that's not my approach.
I'm still trying to save the planet, but it's hard.
And part me just wants to rag it, home to the scrapyard,
but we can't, can we ask a question, Rob?
Yeah, go, what, talk about reality?
What she said about, Rihlea?
How many whisky? whiskey really else. If you haven't got an opinion have a whiskey it really helps. I'm chivaz up ready to go. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.
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tooce. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario.
How many coffees you had this morning, Rob? Well, one big one and a bowl of
strawberries. Strawberries and yogurt with a little bit of sugar-free maple syrup and a tiny bit of granola, keto-friendly. I'm raring to go for the day, Josh.
I want to know how your parenting's been this week, Rob.
Well, first of all, before we get to that, I've got another thing to bring up, Josh.
The reality TV things kicked off.
I've had... Oh, I thought we're going to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their the day.. their the the the day. the the the the the the the the the the the the the day. their their their their the fact that you don't know anything about
I'm a celebrity and people just cannot get the head-brown it.
So you have never watched an episode?
No, that's not true.
No, I watched when Joel was in it, obviously, because I watched it when Joel was in it,
because you want to see Joel ishaw, yeah. So if I say to you, Julian McKeitha, told, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to theory, theory, to they, they, to to to to to to to to to to to to to they, they, they, they, they, I, I, I, I, I've they, I've they, I've they, I've the their, I've, I've the their, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the because I listened to a podcast in which Louis Thoreau interviewed Rylan and Louis Theru said that he'd been researching Ryland and Ryland had said
that was his top reality moment. Oh yeah and so Louis Thru talked to him about it
that was the first I'd heard of Julian McKeith fainting. Okay.
Louie Therue said it was it's quite shocking but Ryland said you need the context of Julian McKeith being kind of awful before it. Oh yeah, no, it's hilarious.
She fake faints to get out of doing a task.
Amazing. It's brilliant.
Um, do you know the Campo Rat? Do you know about this?
Are you making? Why don't you put some false ones in Rob and see whether I could...
Okay. Well, Gino De Camps? Basically they didn't get enough food for the the the the the thau thau thau thue thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tho to to tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the thi thi the the to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi. thi. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the toe toe toe too. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeatea. toe toe? No, I don't know Gino De Camper Rat. Basically, they didn't get enough food for camp, so he found a rat that was running around the set and killed it and
cooked it. No. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, and did they eat it? Yeah, I think they did. Yeah, they
were starving, hungry. Paul Burrell. Yeah, I know that. I know that. I know that was a big deal, Paul Barrow. Yeah, that was a huge, H. from Steps and the Cockatoo.
No, that's not true, right?
I've made that one up, yeah.
Amir Khan and the strawberries?
Now I know Amir Khan did it because he did the same one
as shappy, didn't he?
Yeah, and you watch that.
So you only watch it. Fatma Whipbread nose you didn't get it out. Well I've got some info on Fatima Whipbread nose Rob. Yeah, great. Okay, listening to series two episodes 21 about Fatima Whitbread's nostril
Cockroach. And I thought you'd like this story. This is from Elizabeth Kane. I used to work in a
hairdressers where Fatima Whipbread would get her hair cut. I don't know why it's funny Fat and the Whipbrae get an air cut, but it is, isn't it?
When she came out of the jungle, she brought in the cockroach that had been lodged in her
nose during the iconic TV moment.
It was amazing.
I mean, I'm a big reality TV fan, but I don't need to see it in a jar.
She takes it with her, this woman's won gold medals, doesn't she? Yeah, but she turns up with a cockroach.
She don't leave the medals at home, but it's my cockroach.
Wow.
I'm just getting up to hairdressers, I should bring the cockroach.
It must be awkward, though.
Does she know that they, because thing is,
I'd think everyone would know that reference,
but she must go to some head.
And if they're like you, they'll be like, I've got no idea why she's got a cop coach in her jar. She hasn't brought it, she doesn't want that style, does she? Is that why she's brought it?
She wants me to come from that style?
Just short around the back and sides and durable, please, like this little guy.
So, do you know what, Rob? I was thinking about reality TV. Yeah, and I loved the first series of Big Brother. Yeah, Big Brother's great, yeah, that's very you.
In fact, the other day, when I was bored,
I, on my own, worked out that I could name
every member of Big Brother one
in the order they are evicted.
Wow! That is unbelievable.
That's a total waste of time.
No, I think that could be, I think we should go Vegas. I could take you with me, you can help me out.
To remember in the order of stuff, it's got to be helpful somewhere, isn't it?
Yeah, exactly, as long as it's real.
And I loved Will Young versus Gareth Gates.
I enjoyed that.
Yeah, that was good.
That was good.
Yeah, so it's a bit.
.
tock.
.
to. grown out of it or just lost touch Rob just lost touch you know you're not really in with tick-tock anymore you don't know don't like I never was Rob I
never was Ollie Ball that doesn't ring any bells to you does it
Ollie ball I don't know
what's that only ball here and no that little catch race no one of the
people no I know Bobby ball it's not right let's how that was your parenting week oh oh the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I they I they bo bo bo bo bo bo. I tr is try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I the the the they. I the the that? You've been working all week? You've not seen him.
It's been working a week.
Oh, interesting parenting moment, Rob.
Yes.
My daughter woke up at 3 a.m.
having had a nightmare.
Oh no.
My daughter had that as well, but like was shaking with fear.
It's grim, isn't it? Yeah, and how did you have, did you have, do, do, do, do, do, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, to have to have to have to have to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to, to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their. their, their. their, their. their. their. the. the. theat. the. theat. theat. thea. thea. thean. to-a. thr. to-a. thr. her into our bed for the first time ever properly. We've done it a couple of times when she was ill
back in the day we'd go on the floor of her room when she was in the old
bed but this she came into our bed and she slept in our bed in the middle
from 3 a.m. And I know you're not you're told'll set a precedent, blah, blah, blah. It was, I loved it, Rob. Well, that's the thing, it is nice
when they're there and they're cute in the morning stuff.
Yeah.
But you just don't want them being nine and doing it.
No.
And there's people that go like,
oh yeah, they slept in bed with me tel. I'm thee, thus've got up geeseer next year, you know.
But it was lovely and it did make me go, God, I've been like so, you know these kind of
parenting rules that you're like, you simply can't, you know what I mean?
You know, yeah, I think it's fine that everything, in moderation, and if she's not
well or upset, when my three-year-old was upset, Lou got in bed with her and stayed there for an hour or so until
she told Lou to get out of her bed, which was quite funny about an hour later.
I'm like, go back to your bed, mom. There's no room.
But you have all these, all these set rules. Now, obviously, there, but for the grace of God, I don't want to be Tom Parry, Rob. the amount, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, the amount, Rob, the amount, Rob, the amount, th, the amount, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. that's thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. tho. Tom Perry's okay because of his schedule. And all they said, I can't believe you're so happy about it.
He almost felt giddy. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, like, and I think, why was I think it was such a good podcast is because
every parent had that moment where at the time you think what you're doing is absolutely fine,
but you look back and go, oh my God, I cannot believe that, because I visited him in Exeter when I was working
there.
So they've moved out of his mother-in-law's house, they've got their own house.
Yeah.
He's no longer staying up all night with the baby on him.
So I was in his garden and he pointed through the kitchen window to his office and it was
the cupboard under the stairs.
So he's working. Tom Barry is is, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. tho, tho, the, tho, to, to, to, to, to, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho. thooooooooooooooo. too, to thooooooo, tho, tho, yeah. And he's a, Tom Barry is a big man.
He's a big man. Six two, six three, but like solidly built like a rugby player, aren't he?
Yeah, exactly.
And he said, and I'm sure you've had this, Rob, this thing, you know when you're working from home,
and you think, I can't go down and make a cup of tea because I'll get caught. Yeah. I mean, he's got that, but he's under the stairs. So he's under the stairs.
Trying to work. Trying to work, thinking I can't leave under the stairs. He'll love it.
He's so, you could, you could invite around for dinner and give him a bowl of dog shit and he'll go, oh, lovely, Rob. That's good that he's that, that, that, that, but he's that, but he's that, but he's that, but he's that, but he's that, but he's that's that, but he's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a positive. that's a positive. that's that's that's that's a positive. that's that's that, but he's that, but he's, but he's, he's, he's that, he's that, he's that, he's, he's. that, he's, he's. that, he's. that, he's. that, he's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. he's going, he's going, he's going, he's going, he's going, he's going, he's going. to. trying. to. thr. thr. this? That was great. I've never had anything like that before. Thanks, Rob. Oh, that's good that he's in a slightly better schedule because you can't
that was not a long-term policy. For those who go back and listen to, if you're not listening to,
he basically stayed up all night, didn't they, with a baby on him. Yeahing, well it's been pretty good actually. We sent the eldest to Super Camp in Easter.
So basically we, because she's not really had much chance
to socialize with her new school friends
because she's either at school or at home
and because of the lockdown,
they can't really see each other.
So we put her into Supercamp for their today. So, tho' the Easter holiday so that she she she she she she she she she she's, so she's, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, because, so, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because she's, because she's, because, because, she's, because she's, because she's, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the. the. the the the the they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the to. to. the to. the to. the the and different ages go, but she had a few of her classmates going. And what happens in Super Camp? How is Tom Allen?
Super Camp? They all come out in Featherbowers and just sort of just slay. They don't take no shit.
She's been a lot more catty since she got back, isn't she? The eye roll is on point. A whole afternoon on I roll. Supercat. No, so they basically, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, and th, and their th, and th, and th, and th. And, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, their, tha, their tha, tha, tha, tha tha, tha tha, tha, tha,. Oh yeah, the eye roll is on point. A whole afternoon on
eye roll, super cat. No, so they basically go in like groups of like five or six I think
and there's like a person that leads that group all of the same age and they do like Lego
or plays and sports all different fun stuff. So there's no real like educational stuff. It's more fun. I think it's all like offstead and they're all C. R. their a a a a their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I's thi. I'm their. their. their. their. I's th. I's th. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, their. So, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. t. t. t. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.that offstead and they're all CRBed up. Everything's learning at that age, Rob.
Everything's learning but it's a bit more relaxed and they can wear their own clothes.
The only thing was we didn't have a pat lunchbox for her because she gets school lunches
so she doesn't have to take a packed lunch box to school. But we had to take, make her found, I bought a lunchbox from Costco, it was about 25 quid, but it's like, you could
put a Legalam in there and it wouldn't defrost, right, for five days. It is the coldest,
like it's, it's like a trucker's, a long-distance lorry driver's lunchbox, yeah, and it's grey and black, and
it's got zips and you put these freezer things in it. Would she not have wanted just something with a picture of like pepper pig on it? Yeah I'm sure she would but this was 11 p.m. when we remember she needed a
fucking lunchbox so I'll send you a photo of what I had to do so I gave
this this like lorry driver lunchbox but we had some Lego key rings left from when we went
Lego Land oh nice so I have attached them to the lunchbox as a
a pathetic attempt to try and make it look like a fun l. the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the to the to the lunchbox as a pathetic attempt to try and make it look like a fun lunchbox.
You're such a good dad.
Look at this thing. It's called Titan Deep Freeze and it's got.
It's called Titan Deep Freeze.
A wallot a melon head Lego man and I'll put it on Instagram.
Oh my god, that is the bleakest thing.
It was so heavy. And then when she got back from school I said how was your lunch and she went my sandwich was so cold.
How is it making it colder?
Actually, this product, if you want a cold lunch, Jesus Christ.
I don't know where you need to be going to keep it that cold.
Also on the day that it snowed a bit and I was like, oh poor lunch. So yeah, in the end sandwich, Robb. Just an ham sandwich mate. Oh, but I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was that. that that that that that that that that that that th. How that that that that that that that that th. How th. How's. How's. How's. How's. How's. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. It was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was thi. It was the. It was it was thi. It was the. It was th. It was thi. It was th. It was th. So, yeah, I, in the end, what was in the sandwich, Rob?
Just an ham sandwich, mate, just an ham sandwich.
Oh, bleak, but I tried to make it more Lego,
and put all the other kids had like sparkly unicorn ones and all that.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, no.
And then I was like,tight and deep freeze lunchbox. He won't have the normal lunchbox like the rest
of us really are coming over here with his cold sandwiches. I won't eat a hot
sandwich will he, daughter of a ceilab. But yeah so anyway we had to go to
like Sangris to buy and you know shops are only open for essential items so so he went to Sanjury is the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Soan. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was, I th. And, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you. And, you're, I'm, you. And, I'm, you're, I'm, you're, they. And, they. And, they. And, so, so, so,to Sandris to buy a unicorn lunchbox at the end,
which she got, but yeah, that was,
you know, that panic later night,
we was like, shit, we've got, she's got to have a lunch box.
And I didn't want to give it to a plastic bag anyway.
But yeah, so that was quite funny. And I've, oh, I've got a new, I've a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, an ice cream. Lou does this role play thing with the girls where she goes coming to
mummy's ice cream shop.
It sounds rude when I've said it like that but it's not.
She where she goes to the freezer and says, who would like an ice cream?
Who would like an ice cream?
And then she goes right.
Would you like one from that?
.
that's right. So she says it's 15 pounds for an ice cream. How much have you got? And they go 20?
And then she's absolutely cleaning up.
She's marked that ice cream right.
It's ridiculous.
It's like being in Norway.
It's absolute joke.
So then she goes right.
So then she goes right.
How much of you got it?
And then she goes, it after they just they love it she has to do it at the time so she said well let that do it so I did it
and I thought I'll just do it badly so that I don't have to do it again
do you know I mean yeah the classic so I went in for the angry ice cream
man well what do you want come here you want you want ice cream hurry up they absolutely love it Josh they absolutely's quite cathartic because I am being horrible
Oh, I'm just shouting my kids get out hurry up and then open the ice cream and lick it all and then give it to them
Like a little tick that runs lovely really good. But now I'm like come here get away. Who's got my ice cream?
Leave? What I love Rob about you is arranged
Yeah, I know, I'm just, but I'm like, this is, but what, at the start, I was like, I felt mean
for doing it, but they are just like, ha ha ha, because they know it's safe because obviously
I'm their dad and I'm not horrible, but they think it's so funny that I'm being mean. Brilliant. But to the point now where it's quite a good way to release, to release, release, release, release, release, release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release their to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release to release their to release their their to release to release to to to to their their to their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their thi, thi, their thi, their thi, thi. their, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, theirthey're frustrating you, I can just go, I just say, Who wants an ice cream? I'll shout at them and I get out and I love it.
Who wants an ice cream, little shit.
Yeah, exactly.
Everyone try this at home and let us know if it goes really badly.
That's what I want to know.
It's hard to role play angry but not swear.
Yeah, of course. So I sort of like panic improvised. I was like, leave off your little rat. You can't call you kid a little rat, can you?
It's like an episode of the bill.
Yeah.
You know, you're not allowed to swear.
Oh, you're silly boy, get out of here.
Your absolute knucklehead.
Leave off, copper. So on that math thing Rob that Lily does with her kid, when we were about, my dad had
been about 10 or 11 or whatever, we'd go on holiday, right?
A similar but much higher stakes thing that my dad would do with us.
So we'd go to a cafe.
You know the cafe where you have to go up and tell them what you've had and then
you'll pay at the end, right? So he'd look at more less what we'd th................................................... That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the... the the the the th............................................................ That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. That's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. That've had and then you'll pay at the end, right? So he'd look at more or less what we'd had and then you'd go, I reckon it's about 20
quid. I'm going to give you 20 quid. Who wants 20 quid? You go up and pay. If it's less,
you can keep the difference. If it's more, you've got to pay the difference.
Oh, so you've got very exciting game, Rob. Do you take the gamble?
Also, it's good to be good at maths,
because then you can earn,
because if you're not good at math,
it's just a 50-50, isn't it?
Exactly.
But also, you always knew he was never
going to make you pay the difference.
Really? Yeah, do you know what?
He never went through leave the house like the queen,
he'd never have his wallet on.
And my mom always was in charge of the money.
I remember once when dad took us to the cinema.
I remember that that was about 15,
and he didn't the money obviously, but I'm at the time, and
also it was only ever allowed to go on a Tuesday, no, too fair, that is unfair.
We did go other times, but he used to love taken us on a Tuesday afternoon to Bexley.
Because it was like alright okay well just
I'll just I'll just pay that so much I did that this week Rob I had a nightmare
well not a nightma no wallet I did when was the last I'd never have cash I'd never
have cash do you ever have cash well there's a the cabab shop that only takes the thing thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I they I they I'm they I'm they I'm they I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they I I they I they I they I they I they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I's they. I's taking cash? That's the wrong way around to do it.
I know. I know he's got a card machine underneath the thing. And then sometimes he lets me pay card
and then sometimes he's like no cash only. I'm like what's going on here mate? He's filing his
accounts. He sold three kebabs. Yeah, for some reason 20 people queuing up outside to share
them. Yeah. So I borrowed 20 quid off the researcher on this on this show. That's a low moment. Well I
didn't know what I needed to buy something. What? Okay you need to buy something so
you had no money on you at all. No money I was in a village I had no money and I was
where was your wallet no card? What just needs cash? It was a, well you're not going to believe what it was, Rob. What was it? What did you buy, mate? It was a, it was, this sounds so lame.
It was a commemorative mug from a church that we were filming in.
Oh, come on, mate.
Josh, mate. You're not 40 yet.
I'm close. You're a mug away.
A commemorative mug from a church.
Okay. But did you want the mug or
did you do it because you're the bloak off the tele and you're in the church and you're in the
church and you feel like you had to do something? No, I did I did want the mug because the mug has. I just gave you an opportunity to get out of this. No, I don't want. What i don't want the church. What is. What is? is? is. What is? the church? the church? the church? What is. What is. What is. What is. What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is the church? What is the church? What is? What is? the church? the church? the church? the church? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? The the church? The the church? The the church? The the church? The the church? The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the God listen to podcast? There's no rule in the Bible against podcast.
All I've said is if you listen back to this, you know, in reverse, there's some really dodgy message as we say them.
But do do do that because it still counts as a listen. It still counts all of the cards. It doesn't take it off does it?
Like reverse in the car takes off the miles. It's not like that. Anyway. So you got the mug. You got you had to borrow a
20 quid for a mug. Was it 20 quid for the mug or was it like donation for a mug? Well, I thought
I'll give them the 20 quid. Well, yeah, it's not your money. It's not my money. And then the producer texted me the day before the final day and was like, just to remind you you haven't paid... Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. to. to to remind you. to remind you. to to remind you. to remind you. to to to remind you. to remind you. to remind you. to remind you. to remind you. to remind you. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. Oh my god that is the awful awful text message. Yeah. How many days had it been?
It only been two days. Oh tell that producer to get his fucking nose out. I suppose they'd probably
proxed you. Well no because it was the last day wasn't it? Oh no so you're not going to see him
oh yeah because you may have forgot and he don't want said I was sitting on a really good anecdote there if you hadn't
paid me back. That's the thing the anecdote is better than the money. The
anecdote is better than the money we could have both one. Who have you met in
telly that's a wanker? Well let me I wouldn't call him a wanker. Oh he was a he had a salty story and a half he was sitting on. Oh absolute mugful of salt, mugful of commemorative church salt. Holy salt that
would have been. Holy salt. I'm gonna say what I want you to do Rob is when we're
both back in our normal jobs of being on TV. The first one that can get the
phrase holy salt into a TV show as a kind of,
holy salt! Well, next time I come on last leg, yeah, we need to have a competition who can say
at the most. Okay, not the first, not the first most, okay. But if you get called out on it,
it's over. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's what's going to happen next series. Right. Or we do a double interview on something? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's gonna happen next series. Right. Or will we do a double interview on something?
Yeah. Lorraine, absolutely sort her off.
A poor old Lorraine, you're gonna get seasoned, mate.
Do you want, Rob?
Yeah.
Now last week you told us about your Oregano.
Oh, my old oregano, yeah.
Old Oregano from 2011.
Yeah.
that chocolate, things. We have got some astonishing emails Rob. What of old stuff they found in cupboards? Yeah. Because that chocolate wasn't it?
The present you was going to send for Christmas 2018. From 2016, the chocolate bed went off in March 2016.
Okay, what we got? Okay, Rob. Strap in. Okay, Rob. I'm going to send you this image first. You can see that?
Here we go. Yes, it's Superfood's natural almond essential oil is it? Is it not oil?
It's almond essence. Armand essence. Okay for bacon. Yeah, what are we talking?
I don't have kids yet and I'm only 23. However, enjoy listening to both of your stories of parenting
trials and tribulations. Amidst the recent Easter baking we discovered discovered that my mom has some armored essence in
the cupboard with the best before date of 1995.
Jesus!
Which was before I was born.
Oh my God, that's like an antique.
It looks old as well, doesn't it?
We later found out that this is the same armoid essence she's been using for all her
almond-flavored bake since.
No.
Yeah, her cakes tasks like the 90s.
Yeah, I love it, Rob.
I bloody love it.
Okay, 95, that's so funny.
Uh-huh.
What's a feature?
So this is from some...
How the f-focte going to run more than one week the way it's going.
Your irony is this feature will become out of date and we will carry on.
Rob's 2011 Oregon. Well I think I can safely say my mom and dad can beat that.
They're currently having their kitchen refurbished again in the house they moved into in 1998. My dad decided it was time for a cupboard clean out.
Send me some pictures of a couple of items.
First, we have red-colored quick-gel mix,
which is jelly.
Best before date, May 1999.
It was actually, after 95 vanilla essence, doesn't feel that bad, does it?
Well, the thing is you've got to go, you've got escalate up. Yeah, you've got, you've slightly, we should have gone
no. Have I? Have I? Because they found a second item. Okay, sorry, sorry to, sorry to read out this item.
Okay, we have got also, Sanjury's red quick set in gel mix, June 1993! It's June 1993! And it's still got like pre-EUr-EUr-Niunion measurements?
It's now come back in because it's post-Bexit pre-Brexit, pre-Brexit.
Look at that, look at that.
So, also, I'm 41.
Why is it not called Jelly?
Red Quickset in gel mix.
What's that?
What's going on in the 90s? I'm sure it was called jelly when I was a kid, wasn't it? I'm 41, meaning I was 14 when the gel mix went out of date.
Because I've never seen it before, they've got two different gel mixes.
Simon Ad's, as mentioned previously, we moved into the house in 1998.
So the gel mix was five years out of date when it was packed for the move. I just got a vision of an early 90s mom with massive air, big bright energy.
Should we pop the jelly in?
We like jelly, don't we?
Yeah.
Pop it in.
Jelly doesn't go up.
Jelly takes ages to go off.
It's just sugar, isn't it?
I think that's all right.
I can't endorse that, obviously. My dad takes pride in eating out of stuff st stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to think that's all right. I mean I can't I can't endorse that obviously I'd eat it my dad had it yeah my dad takes pride in eating out of date stuff to show how strong his scut yeah
totally. Wow this is an email email title that maybe you wouldn't want to Google
25 year old Baps
It's a bit of harmless fun that kind of humor isn't it Rob? Could have been a worse number before that?
Yeah, exactly.
Me and my wife bought chest freezer from Facebook Marketplace from an old agent in the village.
I just, a chest freezer, it's definitely, I would worry that a body had been in it at some
time.
A chest free. Any other fridge or freezer I'd buy off marketplace, but a deep freeze. A chest freezer, yeah. Who's ever used used that that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be to be to to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the the to be to be the the th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the yeah. Who's ever used that other
than to store a body? Unless you're selling ice creams in a kind of convenience store.
A lot of people haven't been in the garage didn't they? Like peppers. Yeah, yeah.
Preppers. When we arrived to pick it up he said just have whatever's inside for free.
Whoa, no, clear it out your doddery old bastard. Ficking hell.
How heavy is that freezer?
Not one to turn down a freebie.
I happily accepted and looked forward to seeing what treats we had in store.
Come on.
Now, you can't come on people.
Just, they didn't eat it, did that?
After finding some classics, chicken dippers,
doesn't say if you did or didn't eat it.
That sounds sounds, the th.the age. And an open bag I probably would have a go out. Anything half open, no. But I'm not
above eating a chicken dipper. I've bought off Facebook marketplace. I saw some bread
popping out from through the bottom. On close to expection, they were from Safeway. You may remember Rob's safeway ended in the early 2000. They got bought out by Morrisons. They did. They did. They did. They the their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. th. th. th. They're th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not th. I'm not t. I'm not t. I'm not t. I'm not t. t. th. th. th. th. th. I'm not th. I'm not th. The BAPS had the use by date, August 1994. This was 2016 and I don't have the heart to throw
them away so they're still proudly frozen at the bottom of the freezer.
That's...
What the 25 year old BAPS? Jesus! But I suppose once you had them that long it's
quite funny, how long can you keep it? Exactly. Exactly. I've got a magazine, an Arsenal official monthly magazine with David Platte on the cover from 1995 that I've just kept because I just convinced of myself at some point it be worth a million pounds. It's never going to be worth that one magazine. No. I'm pretty worth eight quid on ebo. Yeah, I never look at those old sticker albums you've completed. the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. the the th. the th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the. the. the. the. because they're a lot cheaper than you think they're going to be.
I know, without the sadness of taking your swaps on the circuit with your...
God.
That was great.
Have you got any more?
I've got some more?
Yes.
Have we got the one that Michael sent straight away?
I will finish on that one. There's a couple more, but they're so good. Let's just, right, so my parents who shall remain nameless, okay,
I decided to announce proudly that they'd made mince pies in 2019.
This was unusual as they barely cook in the oven, as they've needed a new one for years.
After chatting to them, they were telling us through tears how delicious they tasted and that they used a ready-made jar of Robertson's mincemeat.
They then discovered to a horror that the date on the jar of mincemeat was 1996.
Oh my God.
This jar was 23 years old and they'd eaten it.
Oh!
Honestly, we're used to be eating jars of cancers out of two or three years.
They even decided to write to Robertson's customer service. To let them know they'd eaten the mincemeat and how delicious it was after 23 years.
Oh, so I think they should change the advice.
Robertson's wrote back and said they were glad they enjoyed it,
but wouldn't recommend eating anything out of date.
Oh, boomers are built different, aren't they?
They will eat stuff out of date. They love to their thi stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff thout thout thout thout thout th the sun until their body resembles a fake Louis Vittombo. They love it. They love being brown and being proved right.
One more Rob. Yeah, thank you for getting us through various lockdowns with a brilliant
podcast. So I'm mom of two boys aged five and seven. Sorry I know what it is
I've already laughed. No, this isn't the one for Michael. Oh, okay, right.
This is one more before Michael.
Okay.
All right, let's do it.
I don't know this one.
This is quite a poignant one.
Oh, okay.
Not sure if you were serious when you suggest we sent photos of our old cupboard
can't resist sending you the attached.
My grandfather passed away in 2005. as larder we found a half-fused jar of Bovril best before 1993. That jar now lives in the
back of my kitchen cupboard. Oh, I'm not sure why I didn't throw it away. It's moved house
with us twice. Looking forward to celebrating his 30th birthday in two years time. Oh, that's
quite nice. It's nice, isn't it? You sort of think why not wash it out and have it as like a jug, but then I suppose I I I I I I I I I I was say it's th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm thi. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thoom. I'm thoomoome. I've th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's. So. So. So. So. So, I'm. So, I'm. So. So, I'm. So. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So. So. I'm. th. Oh as like a j- like, but then I suppose that's weird. I thought you were going to say and put the ashes in there wrong.
No. I wasn't going to say that.
But the problem is you will have to, that will be passed down to someone.
Yeah. You're just passing the problem onto someone because then when you get to like really old and then you're grown, the grand th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thin, tho, tho, I's, I wasn't, I'm tho, I wasn't tho, I wasn't tho, I wasn't the problem, I wasn't the problem, I wasn't the problem, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't thin, I wasn't thin, I wasn't, I wasn't thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm tho-a, I'm tho-a' isn't tho-a' isn't tho-a' isn't tho-a' isn't from 93. Oh yeah. It becomes the fucking Bovrall heirloom.
Yeah.
And then when they marry someone when they're older and they go, why is this fucking
old Bovar in here?
You got a car and it's be dead, granddad's and moms. Fock's their today's granddad's boughl in because of all their's wa's wa's wa's wa's all all all thi's all all all thi's all they's all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're they're they're they're all they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're th. they're th. they're they're th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thooooooooo' th thoooooo' thoo' thooo' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they you might be scooping that onto a bit of bread. Exactly. Exactly.
Granddad's bovarles sounds disgusting.
I don't fucking bowl of Granddad's bovral.
Do you want to describe what Michael sent to us?
Yes, I'll describe that.
So Michael has sent a old product that's been found in the fridge.
It's Velcro.
And it doesn't look that old really, does it? It doesn't, it hasn't,
because Velcro doesn't really go off, does it? No, it goes a bit, if you use it too much, it goes
a bit fluffy, doesn't it? Yeah, but if you've never used it, I think it would be fine for first
use in, you know, 10 time, you know, it's got a 15 kilogram weight on it is Velcro. Anyway, the thing that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. Anyway the thing that ages it quite badly is in the corner there's a celebrity endorsement with Sir Jimmy Saville. I don't
think you need to give him Sir Rob. Well they've given him Sir. I'm only reading
what's on the packaging Josh I think that's been rescinded but that or horrible old
nons says win a real fix it sponsoring Velcro. Oh my word that is an out of the out of date isn't that. I I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the thi. thcro. Oh my word, that is an out of date product, isn't it?
This isn't it?
Can you, details inside?
Purchase required?
Oh my God, yeah.
Do you know what it reminds me of?
Do you remember Jim will mix it?
Yeah, that had to change their name?
They're the cement mixing company.
They stuck with it quite a long time before they really? I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, that should have been called Mix It. It's not going to blow over guys. It's not going to blow over.
What did they change it to? I think it's just called Mix It now.
Yeah, not, you can't go Tim. No, you can't go Tim. It still has implications, the phrase.
Oh God, yeah. But they had it a want to distance themselves from that campaign and good on them. Do you know what Rob I'm going to say it though as a protest I haven't used
to have a to use Velcro since. Do you know what I have because they didn't know at that point
that was pre the information being released and as far as I can say, the criminal endorsement. the criminal endorsement, I should say. Yeah. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a the, as a tho, as a tho, as a th. As a th. As, as a th, as a th, as a th, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as I, as I, as I, as I, as I, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as I's, as a the the th. As I's, as a thr-a, as a protest. thr-a. thr-a. thro. thooo. thooo. thoo. thoo. tho. thoo. As, as a protest. As but as a product, forget the celebrity endorsement aside, the criminal endorsement, I should say, aside, yeah.
It does, it does stick well.
It's no granddad's bother, but no, but no.
But if you want a pair of shoes holding on to someone who can't do up their laces, I wouldn't
recommend anything else. It's hate fever, don't panic. Do you want a quick present from one of the last presents, Rob?
Yeah, let's have a present and then...
This one's to someone called Rob.
Oh, what have I got?
Uncle Rob. Let's say this is for you, Rob. Let's say it's for you.
Okay. And it is. It's a rose's cousin, uncle.
Uncle Rob. that's Uncle Rob? Uncle Rob. It's chocolates, Rob. No, it went from.
Oh no, they don't look good, Rob.
Best before 2016 as well!
No way!
Poor old Uncle Rob!
Roses.
See, that's two out of dirty boxes of chocolate.
I didn't think this could get any worse, Rose.
Not only is she not sent them, what she was sending was an absolute pile of shit. No, offence rose, but come on.
Because what don't you know is not only is she not cared about the chocolates and looked at
when they're from, they are obviously something that you guys have been given that she didn't
want to eat. Well, Hotel Chocolat isn't even open anymore, is it?
I think they were one of the business. But this was bought years ago. She's not bought them out a date. the hotel. Well. the hotel. the hotel. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, Robe, Robe. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho, tho, that. Oh, that. Oh, that thooooooooooooooooooe. Oh, toea. Oh, thoooooooe. Oh, tho. Oh, th she's not bought them out of date.
She's found them and wrapped them up.
I'm going to say it, Rob, you know when chocolates get that kind of pale, old look.
Pale white colour on it.
Yeah.
They're self-dusting.
They are self-dusting.
They are self-dusting.
You've got yourself a packet of good ones, can we?
I don't think you hit a seam this rich and just leave it like that. Never quit the hit, Rob.
Now Rob? Yes. I suppose it more or less come to the end, am we?
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we could do some shout-outs to businesses and then we'll... We'll see on Friday with Fay Ripley. the on Friday. You call her Ripples? The Ripley?
The talented Mrs. Ripley?
The talented Mrs. Ripley.
My opposing captain on Paul Sinhar's TV showdown.
She's so, do you know what, I get with Fay Ripley every time?
I can't believe that she hasn't got a Mancunian accent.
Do you know what, she's an bloody good one. And every time I see you, I can't believe you're not an angry ice cream man. Well, you know, give it a few years, I might be.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha, today, Josh, we've got some small business shoutouts.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Hi, Rob and Josh.
I'm such a big fan of the show. I listen every week on my gluten-free and vegan sourdough, to bakery, to to to to to to to though, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and vegan, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, and vegan, tho, and vegan, tho, toe, tho, and tho, thi, the the the the the too, too, and the too, and th. I's, and th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, the, the, the. And, thean, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And, me in. This is stiff next central. Yeah, you absolutely,
they actually can't use the walls on the sides to display products because the people's necks are so stiff
as they go in Rob. That's to be eye levels my level mate and that's the only way around it. To be fair,
I've actually I've actually had bread from this place. It's good because I can't eat wheat. I the threate. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I threat. I that. I that. I that. I that. I've that. I've that. I that. I that. I that. I've actually that. I can't the. I can't th. I can't th. I can't actually th. I can't th. I can't actually can't th. I can't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I can't actually actually th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I that. I the. I that. I that. I can't that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I the I'm telling you. You know, no wheat, I can eat gluten so it's not that severe.
But if I had a wheat baguette, right, my stomach will go absolutely massive like I'm pregnant
and then when I go to a toilet I'm there for ages and it's disgusting.
That's what I'm saying on the matter. And I, so I love to give a shout out to my small business. Our amazing team has been working so I've all of lockdown to bake and deliver gluten-free
soudo bread all over the UK. Our zero waste bakery has been supporting local schools with
free breakfast for the many children from struggling families. That unfortunately comes to school having no breakfast. Our website is W.W.W.W. MyGF bakery.Bakery. I can't. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to to. I'll to to to to. I'll to to to to to to. to. to. to. the the the to. I'll the until our 22-month-old has their own pom-pom jar.
That's Rana from my gluten-free bakery.
My GF bakery.
that stuff, I've had to have it before, so I can endorse that one.
I can endorse it.
For my little wheat belly.
And what have you got, Josh?
Hello. Cane thooo, the. that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th that's that's the, the, that's the, the, their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat theat, theat, thean, theat, theat, the, the, thean., Hello, could you give me a shout out? Yes. I have a business making furniture out of reclaimed wood.
It's all eco-friendly finishes that are pet friendly and child-friendly. It's made from
scaffold boards and palletwood.W.W.W.W.W.R.R.Cut.co.
Facebook and Instagram.ECUT.co.
Facebook and Instagram at RECUT co.
Good luck to the small businesses out there.
It's hard work, but you know, keep chugging along.
We will put them all on the Instagram.
We will do that.
At some point, but you know, come on with busy people.
I've got pictures of Savile's on.
Exactly. We won't put them up on the same same same same same same same same same we don't. Guilt by association. Yeah. Right. Josh, let's speak on Friday before
Fay Ripley episode. Cheers guys. Bye-bye.