Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S02 EP36: An Apology...
Episode Date: May 25, 2021ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP36: An Apology...More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in to...uch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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We interrupt the usual podcast broadcast with an apology and a very important public service announcement.
In last week's episode we spoke about Babies foreskins and we've had a lot of
correspondence about what to do with them as me and Josh had no idea. Only clean
what is seen in brackets unless something has obviously made its way in
there. Forskins are fused to the glands until they are older. They naturally
detach as kids age. Forcefully retracted an infant's foreskin can call scar tissue!
I don't know what I'm laughing. Leave their dicks alone people.
Hello I'm Josh Riddickham and I'm Rob Beckett.
Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown,
which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation, and to make me
feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills, each episode will be chatting
to a famous parent about how well they're coping.
Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you the listener with your tales of lockdown parenting woe because let's be honest none of us know
what we're doing. Hello you are listening to lockdown parent in hell with
Bob Beckett say Beckett say Josh
say Josh say they ridicose say ridicic Beckett. Say Beckett. Say Josh.
Say Josh.
They're ridicum. Say ridicule.
Look.
Well, good.
Oh, wow.
I like that, Josh.
Yeah. That was a child teaching a child.
Exactly. That was a recording of my four-year-old Thomas, asking my one-year-old Benji to say your names.
Now I'm regretting asking them that as he won't stop saying your names.
Gemma from Brackley, not Broccoli, North Hans.
Brackley, North Hans.
Also, it felt weird your name being whispered, almost like you were being dobed in for
something.
It was Josh Redicom that pulled back the baby's foreskin.
We had a lot of messages about that so I feel it would be better off just to address
it early doors.
Do not leave babies forskins alone, clean and when they're older is basically the message?
Yes, totally.
Can I also just say one thing?
Can I say thank you to Ian Sterling?
Because we've just got an email Rob. Four different stories have come? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, thi. We, thi. We, thi. We, thi. We, thi. We're, thi. We're, too. We're, too. We're, too. We're, too. We're, too. We're just just just just just, too. too. th fact that we talk to him.
In the Metro Mirror, Digital Spy, and a different one in the Metro.
Our whole work, so we're getting sort of mainstream press because of Ian and Laura's fame.
I just, I'll be honest with you.
I'm not sure I would have done the interview if I was Ian Sterling if I knew that everything
I said was taken to taken out of context. But then I'm not sure I the the th not sure I th I th I'm not sure I th I th I th I th I th. I'm not sure I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to thi. I'm not sure to to to to to to to thi. I'm not sure to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thean it being taken out of context so it's not exactly. I'm not saying it was taken out of context
obviously but you know. No but it's been to anything you say it's just sort of taken and
reprinted if you're in the public eye. Rob I'm so glad that the press don't give a flying fuck about me and you. They really don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. the the their their their their. their. their. their. their their their. their. their. their. I their. I their their their their. I. I their their their their their their their their their. I their their their their. I I I. I I. I. I I their their their. I. I. I. I. I. I their their their their their th. I's. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm today. I'm today. I'm. today. try. today. tell. tell. tell. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I shit, no. But it depends. When I did that BBC One show with Jerry Hallowell,
they start to sniff around because Jerry gets the headlines.
Yeah.
So, yeah, exactly.
But now I'm quite happy not to,
I'm quite happy to be the Everton of Television, Rob.
Do you know what I mean?
Josh Whitaken their fans, week in, week out.
Constantly there, underachieving's unfair, constantly there, just not quite getting into Europe.
Yeah, you know. I think that's unfair. I think you're an excellent broadcaster, Josh.
Always been a fan of yours. Yeah, but you know, I'm happy being evident and and knowing that you know, you know what I mean. I. I. I. I. I, I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I's that's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's, I's, I's. I's, I's, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. thi. thi. the thi. the the the the an theananananan't theananan't thia' thia' that's un'a' that's that's that's that's that's that's you know, I'm sniffing around, but I'm never Claude Winkleman. Do you know what I mean? No. I think I've got potential to be a bit of legionited.
Absolutely flying high and gone for a couple of years, but we'll crawl back out. I'll
never be defeated. You might shake me off for a bit, but I'll be sniffing around.
I'll start pretending I like cooking and doing a cookery book or something. How are you, Rob?
I'm good, I've not too bad.
I had my Pfizer jab.
Oh, I got Pfizer's up at the weekend.
How was it?
Well, this is what you got to do.
So they'll tip to any parents out there.
I got my Pfizer jab, then immediately, it doesn't have to be a fire. The-In't that's that's that's their their their. It their. It their. It doesn't have their. It doesn't have their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. I to be. I to be. I'm. I to be. I to be. I their. I to be. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had. I had........................................ th. I had. got pissed. How did that go? Right?
Great, because the next day I was allowed to sleep in and fall asleep on the sofa
because I had side effects of a jap.
Oh, Rob, Rob, Rob.
Thank you.
I'm clapping myself.
That is phenomenal.
Yeah,, whoa bloody all them bloody doctors. Whoo, eight
points of Mariti. What? Nah, probably weren't that. It was the old Jemmy.
Oh, your life is brilliant. How are you, Josh? You're the other one with a newborn. What's
happening? Oh, the twooo pairinting. Double, double parenting.
How's it going? Absolutely Fed, Rob.
You're F.
You're F.
Are you F in F? Or just F?
I'm F in F. I'm knackered.
I'm absolutely knackered.
What's your routine?
What's your schedule like?
Oh, there's no routine. I know the baby hasn't got routine but what's your divvying up of duty so I'm obviously
doing almost all of the my daughter my three-year-old daughter yeah looking after yeah
obviously she rose had a C section so she's still recovering
because of the breastfeeding thing. Oh yeah, I think we've established that it's
better to both go one-on-one than go two on two.
Oh yes, you just divide and conquer.
Yeah.
So, last week, I took my daughter for her first Nando's, Rob.
That's how low I am on ideas.
I went for two Nando's last week. Crispy Cream? Or is she still trying to play that cool card?
So she's got that anecdote in her pocket, right?
Actually, multi-generation of non-crispy cream eaters in this house.
Exactly. From father, what about your parents? Have they had a crispy?
I can't imagine they've got it down there, have they've got it in Devon, so that's three generations. Oh, they've only just got the mini ones from Sangeris,
or the Sanjury's Soft cookie that come out mid-Nauys.
Yeah, multi-generation non-crispy cream.
Did she enjoy Nandoz? Yeah, she loved it. That's why we went the second time.
Wow, what does she have? What's her order? What does she have? What's good that's encouraging. Yes which is a step in the right direction right? My kids
hate Nando's can I tell you why? Why? Was because when I took them when our
babies I ordered hot wings and I was eating them and then they wanted something
moved on their calling the cob I picked up the call in the cob I picked they had hot in the cob the coub the coub the co coo the coo the coo the coo the coo the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they had hot they had hot they had they had hot they had hot the they had hot I they had they had they had they had they had had they had had they had had they had they had had they had had they had they had they had they had they they they they the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tape I their tape I tape I their tape I their their their their their their their their their their their toy screamed and screamed and screamed because I'd hotter my fingers and now
they hate they actually call it the spicy place. Oh no not the spicy place
not the spicy chicken and I'm like it's not all spicy you pick I just did it
wrong as a dad. Oh what a thing to ruin for their childhood I've ruined Nando's to my kids!
So that was I've written some things down Rob so that was I've written some things down Rob okay yeah go and it they they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to they to to to to they to they they they they're they they they're they they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they was, I've written some things down Rob. Okay yeah go on and taught
me for it. So you've been to Nando's twice. So do you want the good news of the bad news in my life?
Good news first then loads of bad please? I think I speak for everyone listening. I've got a new bin.
I've got a new bin. I've got a new bin. Okay, the bad news is going to. If the bad news. th is going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the bad. th. the bad bad bad. the bad bad bad the bad th. th. th. th. the bad th. th. th. th. th. the bad news is is is is the bad news. the bad news. the bad th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. No, I know we do too much bin chat, Rob. You might accuse us. I thought I'd lost my bins earlier, but Lou would put them somewhere else
because I was away last week. All later them? No, well no, you only ever really deploy half.
So yeah, having a second baby in nappies qualified us for a second bin.
Really? Yeah, week one I was like a rat up a drain pipe one straight on the website. Give me my my second the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that thathea thathea thathea thattoy. thathea th. th. th. thathea' th. th. th. th. th. All. All. All. All. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, th. Well, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. my second bin. Wow, I didn't know that.
Yeah, and I've also got a food one now, so we put the food waste in the food bin.
Oh, was you not doing that before?
We had one, but we'd lost it.
You'd lost it.
Oh, okay, so now you've got a new food bin.
So you're recycling.
You might say, Rob, that yesterday. So I went to a four-year-old's party with my daughter, right? Yeah.
And so we went to that and the street that they said was parking on, there was no
parking. And my daughter was getting, do you know where there's parking?
Where? Zon 5? Yeah, I bet there's parking in zone 5, I bet there is. Three miles of it. Miles, miles of the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thia. th. thi. thia'a'a'er's. thia'er's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. tha. tha. the the tha. the the tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I bet that's parking in Zone 5, mate. I bet there is. Three, miles of it, miles of the stuff. Sorry, carry him.
So in the end, I parked in a pub car park that was for patrons only.
Oh. Yeah? But I had no choice because she wanted to get to the party.
Yep. It was a pay and display and you can then redeem your pay and display by going in and buying a drink and I was like I'll go in and buy a drink on the way back from the party.
Okay, I think that's fine. You're technically a patron, you could die in it. Exactly.
Well as it turned out when we went back in, I said can I get my parking validated and he said, can I get my parking ver. today, and he said, to they, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th th th th th th th th th th the thr, thr, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr, thr, thr, I'm thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, thr-a'a, thr-a, thr, yeah, I was talking to someone and he said, where do you live? We got onto the fact I'd driven there and I said, I'm a bit worried actually,
I'm parked in a patrons only car park next to your car.
And then I said, because I'm always thinking about what there is to talk about on this pod.
More or less to myself as much as him, I said, but then you know, if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if I, if I thine, if I thine, if I thine, if I thine, if I thine, if I thin, if I thin, if I get fined as an anecdote and he said not very good one He's not wrong.
He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's a hundred percent right. It's the way you tell them.
But I thought this podcast has completely ruined my my compass for what is a good anecdote anymore.
Because I'm getting a new bin and thinking fucking great here we go.
Oh God, content content content. What is wrong with us, Rob? No, but I think though, why this
podcast works is that there'll be, that's not a great anecdote you'd start off in the pub with.
However, if you're talking to other people about how shit their week's been because
they've got children now and it's ruined everything. That will make them feel better. Yeah, exactly.
They said, I did have a nightmare trying to take my kids swimming because I wore three
layers and I got too old and I weren't allowed to take my jumper off because of COVID
and I got really sweaty and upset but Josh Widdockham got fined for using a car part for patrons only. It's a happy thi' wea th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's a that's that's that's a thi. I that's that's that's to have to have to have to have tho- tho- tho- thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I th. I th. I I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's thattry. Yes. Yes. Yes, I thateeateateateateateateateateateateateat-I to try thateateat-I thi thi thi to make it into the Metro Rob. No, exactly.
Maybe this is why they're not printing our stories.
Because people don't go shit about heartbeat.
Do you know what you need to start doing, framing umbilical cords,
mate?
Yeah, exactly.
I do need to start from umbilical cords.
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Eligibility and member terms apply. Let's move on to how bad. to to to to to cot, we've been advised to buy a cot to go next to our bed
that I would say is the biggest piece of fucking shit I've ever bought in my life.
Why is it different to like any other cot?
Because I've tripped over it 67 times because the legs stick out.
I'm going to send you a picture Rob.
We've had to move the bed bed to bed the bed the bed the bed to bed the bed the bed'm going to send you a picture Rob. We've had to move the bed further towards
the window, meaning that when I get out of bed in the morning, I basically have to shimmy
down the side of the bed between the bed and the window. So imagine you walk into my bedroom.
Also you're quite a, you're very lean, you're very lean person. Would a fat man get stuck. I'm not going to lie, Rob. I, I, I, I, the the the the the the to, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, th, that, that, that, that, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to, that, to, that, to, that, that, to that, that, that, that, that, th been on the carbs for the last two weeks because I'm so tired. I'm less lean than I was. Have you put on a few pounds, Josh?
I have put on it.
I have put on a slight few pounds, yes.
It's okay though, Josh, you need it to get through the night.
So I'm going to show you, Rob, first the legs of this is little space I had to shimmy past.
This is what you have to shimmy past, not on my side of the bed, this is to get into
the room from the door.
So now we can stick it all on the Instagram can't we, right?
You can see that protruding leg.
Yeah, that is in the middle of the night. Once you get past the first leg, the leg. the leg. the leg. the leg. the leg. the leg. the leg, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between, between the leg. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. the, the. the. the. the. the. theat. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. space there. I'd say that's what, about 10 inches?
Yeah, that's what we've managed to achieve by basically cutting off any side next to my bed.
Now let's look. So that's when it moved? Yeah, this is what my bedroom looked like on the first
day of having a baby. That's as you walk in. There is no space. There's literally no space.
And you've had to move your little Shays Long thing. Is that normally in front of
the fireplace? Well we've moved that because Rose bought a sofa to go at
the end of the bed but then hasn't sold the Shays Long so, so we've now got...
Is that trying to get a baby to sleep in step tow and sons lock up
If anyone wants to buy that Shays Long it is available
How much oh it's quite pricey a one can pay you mate Just basically you've got a van and an afternoon spare yeah come and get it now that that cot is too big? It's too big so I've bought another I've had to buy another cot. Oh, why? It's just too big? I can't live like this for six months? Yeah, I th. Yeah, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. try. to th. to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try to try to to to to to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try to try to to It's too big so I've bought another cot. Oh why?
Because it's just too big? Because I can't live like this for six months.
Because even my daughter has been tripping over it right.
So she's angry at the cot. She's tripping over it. We're all tripping over it. And also it's a space where I'm carrying a baby. It feels to me. Why would the legs. The legs of the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just. I that's just. I's just. that's just. that's just. that's just. that's just. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I. that's. that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. I. I. I. that. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I where I'm carrying a baby. It feels to me... Why would the legs of a cart ever be bigger than the cart?
It's about... So these legs, you might see they've got a hinge, which means that they fold in, right?
Yeah. But they don't hold folding, so they hold in, and then they, on a spring,
they'll slowly move back into position over about 30 minutes. What... Why would you need it to ping out on?
This is ridiculous.
It's absolutely unbelievable.
We had a cot thing that went to the side of bed like that,
but it weren't as big as it.
I've never seen anything so big.
No, I know.
Do you know what it looks like?
It looks like a sort of, you onto shit and then roll back into bed. It looks very medical.
It does.
But basically, the pit, the way it was before, before you move to bed, you literally cannot
get in the room.
With the bed moved, there's still not enough space really.
No, there's not.
And also, it's not like you're trying that cot, the baby's awake. Exactly! The pressure, it's like, you know, entrapment with the lasers
when it's kind of still something.
Oh, Josh.
It's those sort of things, isn't it?
Yeah.
Forget about you can be so prepared.
And then something like that will ruin your own life,
completely ruin your life. And then you're staring at a schnau, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, th, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the th.... th. th. the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thithat's what we had a snuz pod. Yeah, well I'm building the snuz pod this afternoon. Yeah, what are we bought a snuzz pod and
they were really good. We've lent it to our friend but you could have had it if
you asked earlier. Well I'm gonna do a build this afternoon. They're really
good snuzebods because it's not as big and it goes straight down so that's what I need. It's got a traditional leg. Who needs a traditional leg?
I mean, just tapered.
That's a tapered, it's always better than, you've basically got a boot cut cot.
You've got a boot cut leg.
You're going to trip over it.
You'll have them little bits at the back where you treads them down.
I hate that.. Tkk out their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thaukokoomkoomkoomkozykoomkozykoomkoomkoomkoomk. thoombsoombs. tape. tape. tape. tape. tapets. tapets. tapets. tapets. tapets. tapets. tapets. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tapeaaaaa. tape. tapeatateateateateateateateateateateateateatseatseatseatseatseatseatseatseatseatseats. It's always always always tapeatseatseats. tapeats. tapeatthem down. I hate that. People with bootcut jeans where the back gets trod down. Oh my God. How worse is people that have their wallet in the same pocket and then they get holes in
their pockets. Oh Rob, don't you just take a bag, you dirty little grunge. Oh I couldn't agree with you more.
Oh, with his Jansbolt backpack on his wallet on a chain making holes w you sit down. It must be uncomfortable. If it's ripping
holes in your clothes, it must be uncomfortable to sit on, surely. Jesus Christ. Anyway, just
well I think that snuzz pods away for you, well you have to sell that one. That looks like...
I'm not going to sell it, Rob. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. Anyway, that wasn't the lowest point of my week. Oh, what else has happened? the to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. that. th. th. tho. th. tho. to. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the. the the. the the. the. toe. to. to to. to to to to to my week. Oh what else has happened Josh come on. So I'd say Saturday
was a bad day Rob. Always is, isn't it? Yeah, full of promise. So I should say one of the
main positives is my daughter has just been really so- You're sorry? You sound like? You're
sorry? You sounded like that's back to yawn? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was just, I should say that you are now. That's just what I am.
That's what I sound like now.
I'd say last night the baby woke up every hour to every two hours.
Is it, are you feeding the baby a bottle?
Is it all boob at the moment?
Yeah, it's rose at the moment.
Yeah, we've, we've experimented, we've got the, we've got, we've got some on it. Well that's the thing sometimes, like if you give them a big bottle, big feed,
well, they sleep all through the night and then everyone's happier. You'll get, look,
look, I'll say this, I'll have the fucking tip police on me and telling me how much breastfeed. No, no, no, no, no, do what you want the the their. Do you they they they they they they they they they. Do you. Do you. Do you. Do you. Do you. Do they. Do they. Do they. Do, they. Do, they. Do, they. Do, they. Do, they they they they they they they they they they they they, they they they they sleep. They sleep. They sleep. They sleep. They sleep. They sleep. They sleep. They they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They, they. They. They. They, they. They. They. They, they. They're, they. They're, they. They're, they're they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep, they're sleep. They sleep. honest with you Rob. Yeah, it's not the time for, it's not the time for a debate on breastfeeding. Not a 1 a.m. in my bedroom, it's not the time
for it. No, but we've expressed milk with what, let's be honest, we've got a great new
expresser. Last time's it was rubbish was rubbish. This is a mechanical one that goes on the booms and goes. It's that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the that's. that's. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the is the the the the the is this fits in the bra so you can walk around expressing.
You could go to the shop expressing. It sounds like drama school. I just walk around expressing myself,
I literally expressing myself, guys. You're so uptight, I'm literally expressing myself right now.
I couldn't express myself anymore. Lill couldn't express myself anymore. Lil expressed herself once when I went to Arsenal game for my birthday.
She came along and had to go to the toilet to express the milk at half times.
And the only one who expressed himself at the Emirates that day, I'm telling you.
But I don't want to be on vogue and, you know, a bit of the moment, but there are worries of tongue tie going on Rob,
if I'm honest with you.
Oh, there's tongue worries.
The reason we're recording late
is I was on the phone to the lactation specialist
and I think we're gonna have to get the tongue tie sorted.
Oh, well, well, at least you know. but we never got it sorted and then we just banged on a bottle but that was for the best of everyone and the mental health of the family. But if you do bang on the bottle on the formula,
there's that, um, uh, what I can't remember what it's called now that we're like,
because normally it's so hard, you have to like get everything to room temperat
but you put the empty bottle under it. to say you're doing four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four four water and then you put the four scoops in, shake it around, put it underneath and it fills it up to the
right level of water at the exact right temperature. Oh my word, and it was
it was the best money I've ever spent but yeah they're great there was about
about hundred quid or something. What I guess that's what I need is to spend
some more fucking money. Oh, she can't drink that free stuff in your boobs, can she? Brilliant.
A hundred quid on that, Amazon.
Least have got somewhere to put on the cardboard.
Oh, Joshua.
So, let me take you through Saturday quickly.
Yeah, sorry, go.
Saturday morning. We've got a big weekend planned. Me and my daughter were doing some gardening.
That need, we need to pot some plants out.
And then we're going to her friend's birthday on the Sunday.
Then it turns out she's left, well, she's, it's not our fault.
I've left her well.
Well, I've left her well, that's fine. It's good to get out of the house anyway. We'll just go to the Westfield and buy some new wellies.
The last, that's what I need to do is buy another version of something I've already got.
Yeah, because you've not spent much this week, have you?
No, exactly.
If in doubt, though, with a newborn, just, you know,
if you're going to just, you're just, just, wear trainers to do the plant potting?
Because also she was going to this birthday party in the park, so she was going to need more ways.
So she needed some we'll tryes for that week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She then refused to put her trainers on.
She was like, I'm not going to the car? And then I'll put them on. And because I was really tired, I decided to make a point on this,
which was the biggest, I should have said,
yes, that's fine.
Yes, thank you very much for that offer.
Yeah, I would take that.
Thank you very much dragons.
Yeah, yeah, 'll take that. At this point, yes, please. So, but anyone like a Shays Lons around here?
Get two, I've got another one probably.
Rose's probably ordered another one.
That's not a problem.
Don't worry, you got a new one,
thiike, that you can't sell because you're, uh-oh. No, no. No. No. No. No. No. thi. you. you. you. you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th the th th the th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.. You know normally when a child loses their call and you give them some time out,
I had to give myself some time out Rob because I could feel myself getting too angry.
I basically went and sat on the stairs myself.
What did she do? She just carried on cutting paper, which was what she wanted to do in the first place. So she's cutting paper in the stah st st st st st st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. to, to, to, to, to, to, to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tieuooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. tooe. tooe. tooe. to do in the first place. So she's cutting paper in the kitchen and you're sat on the stairs.
I've sat on the stairs giving myself some time to cool down because I've lost.
What are you saying to yourself at this point? Anything or is it just silent?
I was just like, you've got to get a handle on this.
It really doesn't matter as much as you think.
Yeah, and so it was just... That's the problem in it. You've set yourself up there. Oh mate. Because she wins, isn't she, if you carry her?
Yeah.
And so it was just...
And there's nothing worse than losing to someone,
and whilst you're losing to them, you're holding them and carrying them to a car.
Exactly. In the end, it turned out that we both lost.
Oh. Which was a good, which was good.
and I was like, right, I'll carry you to the car and then you put your shoes on.
And then she put her shoes on anyway, and I ended up carrying her to the car with her shoes on, which was the worst of both worlds, Rob. It was a completely needless situation.
Yeah, but then you got us some wellies. And also that filled some time, taken them out.
Filled some time, you know, and we went to Nandoandoandoando, the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book then in the evening Rob. Yeah. So did either of your daughters, were they those babies that give you some time to yourself?
I've got friends whose babies sleep in the evening.
No, so our first born basically slept all day up all night.
Yeah, that's what we're looking at here.
Yeah. The second one was a bit better, but not great, but better the, like, she literally would just all day, people would come round, see her and go,
she's so cute, can have a hold,
and she'd be an angel all day,
and then got to eight o'clock, wide-eyed, ready to go.
Oh, that's so good to hear.
It was horrible.
Because I've got a news to their leave my mom some milk because they sleep from seven till 11.
And you're like, what? I'm trying to watch Gods of Snooker in the evening while this baby cries.
Like, we're trying to watch Gods of Snooker, which is a three-hour documentary. About Snuka, about Snooker? It's. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it, the the the the th. I, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I. I. I, th. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the. I, th. I, the the the th. I's th. I's thi. I'll thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'll thi. I? About snooker. It's not God's play snooker like a celeb spin-off. No, I would commission it.
Yeah, I'd watch that.
So up all evening and then we get to sleep at 11.
He wakes up at one, feeding.
And then when he wakes up, Rose thinks she's heard some movement in the house.
Like as if someone's broken. They obviously haven't. They obviously haven't. Oh no no but
you've got a check haven't you because she's heard it? And I obviously I'm totally
terrified to start convincing myself I can hear movement in the house. Yeah so
what you are you talling up? You got pants? You got pants on? I'm just in pants. you got pants. I'm the pants. the pants. their their their their their their their their tall. their their tall. their tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. toy. to to to to to to to to to to go. to go. to go go. to go go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. think they're in the house I do put a t-shirt on as well. Just for dignity-wise you don't want to be bludgeoned topless.
Exactly, exactly. Do you pick up a stick or something or a
I considered a pint glass but I thought that's too like I'm a football hooligan.
I also think it would be due to do more damage to your hand than their head. Yeah so in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in the end so in the end so in the end so in their in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to be. tool. tooling. tooled. tooled. tooled. toe. their their their their their their their their their their the I didn't go tooled up, but I did, it's like I go for a look around the house.
It's completely terrifying.
How are you out of, how are you in those situations, right?
Exactly the same and I just sort of think, there's no point me going down, we might as well
both go together because all that's two on one hopefully, but like
just there's no I'm not going to do anything. I like to think I could but I'm not really that guy.
The only hope would be that they'd come for us in the bedroom and fall over the cop.
That would be the only hope. Yeah, and you could just like trap them with a Shea's lounge.
Yeah, exactly.
What a 9-9-9 call that would be. They're not there, obviously.
There's no one there.
What was the noise or was it just in her head?
It was very weird.
It's been very windy over the last couple of days, doesn't it?
So I just think it was a window or something.
Anyway, by that point I'm so wired that I can't get back to sleep till 4 a.m. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, I'm so wired that I can't get back to sleep till 4 a.m.
Oh, no, yeah.
Absolutely the worst experience.
Just lying there, thinking, I really need this.
Would it be a good time to tell you am I having some of the greatest sleeps of my entire life?
Oh, for fsake, just I found a new routine.
What's your new routine? Basically, first of all don't have thiii's quite key, so you might have to wait a bit.
Okay.
But no phone an hour before bed.
You can lay in bed and read or watch tele, but no phone.
That's good.
Because it turns out, you know, scrolling through the sort of news research in the Indian variant,
is not very conducive to anxiety-free sleep. So now I don't do that and I've thi tho thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. tho. the. thoooooooooooooooooooo. the. toooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. very conducive to anxiety-free sleep. So now I don't do that and
I've been sleeping really well and I've got new pillows. Yes, do you know what Rob that's
so good. The other night I lost sleep because the phone thing, I mean I don't know if you're
aware of me Rob, I do worry a lot about my career. I don't know if that's come across. Yes you do. I do, I do too, I do too, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do to to to do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, you do. I do too, not about yours, about mine. That's why you agreed to do this with me, wasn't it?
Yeah, I've been a bit concerned. This seems to be going, well, you're happier now. No,
but about mine, but I've got a bit, I think I've got a bit better, and I think you have got
a bit better, but then when you're tired and stuff and you've got a new baby, sometimes those who anxiety can creep back in.
You're only as good as your circumstances sometimes.
So you're bound to feel a little bit more vulnerable now that you're tired and exhausted.
Rob the other night. What did the other night? What did the other night?
Twitter searched your name?
No, no, I've never done that. No, I've never done that. No, I've never done that. I've never I've never that. I've never that. I've never that. I've never that. I've never to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to feel to feel to feel. I've never to feel. I've never. I've never. I've never to feel. I've to feel. I've to feel. I to feel. I to feel. I to feel to feel. I to feel to feel to feel to feel to feel to feel to feel to feel. I've to feel to feel. I've to feel. I've to feel. I. I've to feel to feel. I. I. I. I. I to feel to feel to feel to feel. I. I. I to feel to feel to feel. I to feel. I to feel. I to feel. I've to feel. I've to feel to feel to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to feel to feel. I to feel. I to feel. I tothat. I did it once it was awful, especially if you were like Rob Beckett. Just to double-check.
Yeah, just say now you're getting on. No, if you type in Rob Beckett and shit, you get stuff
from years ago. It all crops up, but yeah I don't do that anymore. No, I couldn't do that.
The thought of you typing Rob Beckett and shit is... Or wanker, fat thwanker, fat, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. No. No, thi. No, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. No, thi. No, thi. No, thi. No's all there. The internet never lies. It's all there. So what would you
do? The internet does lie wrong. It does. That is one of the main problems in the internet,
isn't it? It's only humans. It's only the internet for all its faults can only reflect humanity
Josh. Oh, yeah, that's true, you know. It's not a point about humanity though. It's the good thing was before the internet, you know those those those those those those those those those those those those those th. Those th. Those lot th. Those lot th. The internet, th. The internet, th. The internet, tho tho the internet, the internet, the internet, tho, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, tho, tho, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. The internet, th. The internet, tho, tho, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, tho. It's th you. God's that the point about humanity though, isn't it? It's terrible, isn't it?
But the good thing was, before the internet, you know, those lot of nutters kept themselves
to themselves.
Exactly.
You weren't really aware of them unless you were like pissed up in a dodgy pub.
Now, everyone's got a voice.
And I was in a I continued a conversation
with someone who works in TV who a commissioner shall we say there was just like
a friendly conversation you've taken work to your bedroom I've taken work to
my bedroom but it wasn't work but also the fact that a commissioner makes it always
work doesn't it Rob it makes it the cuss because you can never relax can you never relax technically a boss or someone as you're a freelancer he it to to to to to to to to to to you you to you to you you to you to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the an the an thean thean thean thean theateeate an thee an the an the an the their their their their the fact that a commissioner makes it always work, doesn't it Rob? Of course, because you can never relax, can you?
If you're technically a boss or someone, as your freelancer, it could be your boss or employee one day?
Yeah, exactly. And then the conversation came to potentially a natural end, but could have continued,
but on my text, and then I just got it in my head that, oh my God, they haven't replied, oh my God, my career is over.
Oh my God, I should have, I should have ended the text with a question to keep the conversation
going.
Oh my God, this is what am I doing?
And that was another night that I couldn't get to sleep.
I've had a terrible week for sleep. You really have, have you have this make better better feel better. I had a meeting with BBC 2P,
a production, producers for BBC 2 shows,
they were talking about gardening and if I like gardening,
so they want more gardening shows and talking about...
I like gardening, Rob.
They went, you know, because we've got to be Monty Don,
and I went, who's Monty Don, and They went, what do you mean? I went, I've got no fucking idea of Monty Don and I actually thought they were talking about, you know the orange juice man with the
man from Del Monte? That's all I'd in my head. And I went, you know, Monty Don,
I've got no fucking idea in Monty Don was and he's sort of like semi-middle-class Posh TV people. Oh, I mean I looked him up absolutely stiffenck apparently went
to Cambridge and became a gardener I mean is that a success or not? Well Rose is in love
with Monty Don. Cool she is. Of course she is in love. Of course she's in love with you she loves
she loves a stiff one. Stiffenac just to be very clear on that. Yes sorry sorry
sorry my sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. I don't want the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to the to to the to to to the to th. to th th. the to th th th to th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. I to to to th. th. I th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I te. te. te. too. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. tis. the wrong. Come, a bit of respect. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, apologies, Rose.
I don't want to cast aspersions with you like a stiff one or not.
Exactly.
Because you say you and Josh.
But no, but I've looked about Monty Don does it like an absolute legend, but I've never
heard of it.
But he's just sort of a stiff-ne? No, no, but that's why you're such a lovable scamp, Rob, because you don't know who Monty Don is.
Me and Monty Don prowling the gardens of suburbia.
What a show that would be.
So I'm going to stop using my phone in the bedroom, Rob.
That's, yes. I'm now going to do that for a week.
But this is the other the other problem the other problem daughter, I try not to look at my phone, right? Yeah. Like too much, within reason. So by the end of the day, I've got lots of stuff on my phone,
like, I've got a reply to that, you know, all that kind of stuff. Yes. And then I basically spend
the evening looking at my phone, which can't be healthy. No, and I would say you do say, For someone who someone th th th th their daughter, you have sent me a lot of screen grabs of other people's Twitter with comments.
For someone who's not looking at their phone, you've been pretty creative with it.
That was a nursery day, Rob.
Okay, fair enough.
But yeah, I agree and I think, I agree and I stuff like that, where I think in the bedroom, even if you had like, even if you're on an iPad, you had like a documentary or something to watch that you and I'll watch that for 20 minutes if you can't get to sleep do that. But the phone just associates with work and anxiety about stuff and and social media. So I think you better off stand away from that. But, anyway, I've been watched a great documentary. I've. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the the th. I'll the the the their. I'll th. I'll the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. I you th. I'll th. th. I th. th. But anyway, I've been watched a great documentary, a Lawrence Armstrong one, he's
such a lunatic. It's like Ted Bundy on a bike. The bloke is just off for the fairies. It'd
be great part for this podcast. I'd love him. I'd love him. I'd totally get the last
time. I don't care what he's injected in his veins. Get him on for a chat. Exactly. Exactly. the coffee, blood transfusions. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. te. It's. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. t. ted. ted. t. ted. ted. ted. ted. ted. toda. today. today. ted. today. ted. today. ted. today. the today. the ted. What's the difference? Exactly, Rob, you're using performance enhancing substances.
Exactly, coffee, blood transfusions, all I know is he's cycling quick and I'm talking quick
and we're having a good sign.
I sometimes wear a yellow jersey to host this show just to...
Do you think that's how we should do it?
At the end of each episode, Michael should say who said the most jokes and they're they they they they they they they they they a yellow jersey for the next episode. I think that would be fun but could develop into quite a toxic relationship between me and you.
But I will wear a yellow jersey throughout the series of the last leg to see whether Adam and Alex notice.
I think I will. That would be quite funny just underneath your, what I'm going to guess is going to be a pale blue Oxford shirt.
Um, if I know you on last day. How very dare you. their their their their their their the last. the last. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll th. I'll th. to be. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. I. But. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll. th. th. I'll. pair of adiless trainers, one tucked under the other leg.
That is, there we go.
Winnicum on TV.
Where do you come on TV?
Which is a show, I am trying to get through.
Which is a show I am trying to get a to get a try to, I'm going to ask something about your opinion on this. I've been getting a few comments on the school run about my clothes
from other parents. I've been wearing sport shorts. Yeah I wore sports shorts to the school run
today Rob. Yeah I did and a pair of like a t-shirt, a sporty jumper and then so socks and trainers
because I'm going to do sport today after that like I've done some work this morning.
Can I just say the amount of times I'm just saying sport does make you feel like you're
a six-year-old?
It's PE day today for me.
Is that okay?
Is that allowed? I today, Rob, because I was like, I thought, that's the way I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm, I'm going, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm going, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to, I'm to, I'm to, I'm to, I'm to say, I'm going, I'm going, to to to to to to to the the to the the to the to the the the the the the the to saying, to to the to the the. So I want I thought that's the way I'm going to get some energy is
to exercise and have a stiff-knit breakfast. Also as well you're being
mentally exhausted but you're not really being physically exhausted with kids
sometimes when they're newborn. Totally. So I went to the I went to the
nursery run in shorts trainers and a hoodie and then I ran back.
Oh I ran back earlier because it was raining though.
Which I sort of...
It all counts.
It all counts.
And you ran, because yours is a bit further as well, how far is that run?
A mile and a half.
That's good.
Yeah.
It's a good little one to do.
But I don't know.
I don't, I think that's okay, but a few were like, oh, shorts, and I don't know, I never know what to say back.
What, what's their problem with shorts?
I don't know.
I think that's totally acceptable.
Well, once it was a bit cold and then,
and then the geyser was like, he always wears a coat.
And it's just, sport it's it's it's not a stop and chat because he he takes his kid a bit later it's really weird I am on so many different
little schedules with other people but for specific moments like I know about
12 minutes past day I will go past that granddad with his kid and we have it's
such a high-pressured banter exchange because it's so quick and I like
him he's really nice blow but it's like we can't get beyond the shorts but then if I went oh I'm doing it I'm doing it I'm doing it's
I can't explain why I'm wearing the sports shorts I just I might just scream
I'm doing I'm doing I'm doing it's a little bit sport at him before he speaks
next time I'm doing why don't do you run past him on the shorts you know do you know what it is I think it's not is I it's is I it's is I's the th is I's not th is I's not th is I's not th is I's not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not th is not the the th is not thi it's not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is I'm not th is I'm not th is I'm not thi is I thi is I thi throooooooooooooooooo' is not I try the thooooooooo' is not I the the the the the the the the the're going. It is actually a little bit cold for jogging bombs but I don't want to dirty a pair of jogging bombs to then later put on
the shorts. I think it's totally acceptable. Now I don't want to throw out
this kind of, you know, I don't want to make generalizations about the
sexes Rob. Okay, go on. But I would say... Because that was different, I like I do like, I do, I do, I do, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't want to to to th, I don't want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, I don't want th, I don't want tho, I don't want tho, I don't want tho, I tho, thooo, thoooo. thooo. thooo. thoo. tho. tho. to tho, I don't want to to do that. You do like to do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you might enjoy this. Yeah. But I would say it's totally acceptable for a mom on the school run to maybe be in a pair
of you know Lulu lemon tights. It's like a trendy kind of. God, she sounds like a stripper from Benadol.
Like, but it's like, so it's like just like leggings for sport.
Yeah, leggings for sport with sporty trainers
and a vest top would be totally acceptable.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You would never, you wouldn't even think that was, you just think they're going to do sport.
Yeah, that's a sportsman. Yeah, but in tracks
suit bombs. But you don't want to wear wear to wear wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear their their to their their to their their their their their leg thegsue-s their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their train trains trains trains. trains. trains. trains. trains.a.a.g.g.g.g.g. trains.g.g.g. trains.g. trains. trains. trains. trains. like I'm gonna tarmac a drive. Yeah, I don't think track suit bombs. But you don't want to wear tracks suit bombs for sport anyway, Rob.
No, exactly.
But then if it's a bit too cold for shorts, people go, oh, a bit cold for shorts.
It might, but it's gonna get warmer later on it, that's how the day works.
Why don't you get yourself some Lulu. And a little the cr. put my air up in a messie bun and just go,
can't stop, off to Pilates.
Sorry, got yoga in a minute with Tabitha.
Bye, babes.
On the subjects of sports, I went to a sports show.
This will make you feel better, Josh, because I know mine are like sleeping better because they're older now,
but I totally lost control of them in sports direct the other weekend to the point where they didn't
listen to a word I said, and they were taking turns on one was going on all fours and
the other one was riding them and then smacking their bum with a badminton racket and there's nothing I could do. Absolutely nothing I could do. Absolutely I thine. I don't. I don't the five the five the five their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they didn't listen thi thi they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they didn't listen they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they didn't they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the but was the horse. They take turns, the three-year-old's strong as an ox.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, so they were taking turns doing that, totally losing control because the three-year-old
does his football club and she loves it, but she's running around in like a pair
of dinosaur boots with Velcro so there was no late, it was perfect.
I was like this is the dream. This is the exact pair of shoes I've been looking for for my kids
play football in right. Anyway so as I'm doing them the five trys. The five thrown. Oh can I get some football trainers train tr tr tr tr trso. their. their. tho. tho. tho. their. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was tho. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. tho. tho. there's there's there's the. there's the there's the tho. the there's tho. the the. there's there's tho. there's there's there times in three different ways. Hates playing it, hates watching it as no interest in it whatsoever, okay?
I was like, well no, because you don't do it.
She went, I wants a go, I want to go once, anyway, I said, okay, well get them and you go football,
anyway, I said, okay, well, get them has taken them to class on a Sunday. Five-year-old hasn't even got him out of the bag.
Oh, Rob.
Absolutely.
But then I couldn't be prepared to have the argument with him in the shop because she'd kick
off and then it looks like I'm...
She won't kick off.
That's one of the problems.
She will refuse to be that person that got bought one of the girls something and the other one not something but then I
luckily I got a bigger pair and then the younger one can just wear them to
be all about. I did. I felt like I was doing it wrong but I can. No Rob
there comes a point when you have to go is this battle worth fighting? Yes and do you know what I mean? Do you the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the same as the cot situation for me. Do you know, do you know the best piece of financial advice my dad ever gave me, Rob?
What was that?
Was you will lose a thousand pounds a year to being an idiot.
You'll lose a thousand pounds a year to being an idiot.
Yes, you just have to accept that.
You just have to accept it and make your piece with it, like you'll lose something or you'll scratch your car or whatever you get the wrong car. Yeah, or the parking fine or all of these things will happen.
But make your piece with it because that...
That's such a great bit of a vibe. It's great, isn't it?
Because you cannot be perfect. You can't always make the right decision at the right time.
You know if you book a holiday and it gets canceled or you do this or do that or whatever or you drop 20 couldn't street you will at least lose a thousand pounds of years to
be an idiot yeah and that's okay that's okay that is what life is and the
moment you make you peace with that it's much easier obviously you know it's
may and I'm closing in on a thousand pounds so I'm gonna have to a very tight second half of the year you really really to really to really to really to really to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the th so thi thi. I thi. I the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm to thi. I'm to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's a the. the. ththe year. You really have to get your head on. Really have to concentrate on not being an idiot.
Oh dear. Do you want some Instagrams, Josh?
Yeah, let's have some Instagram.
Right, so first, first things first,
you know I spoke about hamsters having massive bollocks.
Yeah. This one's good one for the Instagram content.
Okay. Is it going to get us taken down? I don't know. I don't know what the rules are
on hamster pornography. I wouldn't call it pornography, just sort of a kink. Hi, just
listen to episode 34 of series 2. Very. I mean, I didn't really know we numbered them until
this is coming. Rob, you mentioned that all boy hamsters have big balls. I thought I'd share a picture of my 10-year-old daughter's hamster, Snickers.
He uses his balls as a pillow. And he does. I can send you this to you, Josh.
Would you like to see it? Do you want to see this?
Yeah, I do want to see this. He uses his balls as a pillow? Oh my god. Oh my god. It looks quite comfy. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. I thus. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. to. to-a. to-a. Rob? No, I didn't. It's sort of, I had read the Beano.
Yeah, for a bit.
There was a character in Viz called Buster Gonaad who had huge balls.
And he looks a bit like that, that was the B-S, a bit. The B-Strike kid. Was that the thing? Was the one of I made? Was that that that that thrug Street. Was. Was that? Was that? Was that? Was. Was that? Was. Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was th. Was. Was. Was that? Was that? Was that? Was th. Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. I? I? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? I was? Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was. Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was? Was. Was? Was? Was? Was? Was. Was? Was? Was. Was? Was? Was that? Was that? Was? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was that? Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was thing. Yeah I think that basically you got to Beeno and then you either decided to be a virgin and read Viz or actually legend of
play football. I did both. Have you got any more Instagrams? Yeah mate. Uh, C-section soundtrack.
Hi guys, thanks to the podcast. Maybe laugh with the last few months of pregnancy
in my first year of my daughter's life. Josh mentioned his hospital I did a chilled playlist
for their C-section thought I'd share my NHS experience of this. I think you
could have your own playlist whether you go private or NHS. Yeah. Just
before my emergency C-section the nurse asked if I wanted them to keep the
radio on. I didn't really give it much thought at the time and said yes it was fine big mistake my daughter was born to the local radio station playing shaggies it wasn't me really put the nail in the coffin
for the serene candle lip birth in pool experience I had in mine Katie from
Brighton I love that that's amazing we didn't get the option when it was an
emergency the first time round if it's an emergency if it's an emergency, who gives a shit if the radio is on or not? If it's an emergency going, could you wait 20 minutes because Scott Mills is on. I do like his show.
So yeah, Chris Stark's gonna spit on a pop star in what we like to call the COVID game.
Patient zero. Patient zero with Chris Stark gobbing on people after an innuendo.
Humped in to a dry studio from the master puppeteer
Mills? I'm not going to be a daily bell headline writer. Hi Josh and Rob. First year,
first year, massive congratulations to Josh and the birth of their little boy. These
first few weeks go so fast. Make sure we take lots of photos and video.
Would you like to count on that? They don't go fast, Josh. Is that what you're saying? Do you know what? They go a lot faster the second time because we've done two weeks tomorrow.
Yes.
And I remember the first time.
I vividly remember people saying, which is of course complete rubbish.
They're like, it gets much easier at six weeks.
And I vividly remember more confident I suppose she says take
loads of photos of videos and I would second that because one that they grow
quick and they their faces change so much but also you do not have as many
photos of the second baby yeah yeah they will notice that as we are
getting told when she goes well they're no pictures of me on the wall I was like because there was there there there there there there there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was the the the the the the the th th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. And th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's thi. thi. thi when she goes, were there no pictures of me on the wall? I was like, because there was two of you,
we had no time to get any developed.
That's why.
Yes, yeah, that's a good point.
Anyway, on my C-section playlist story,
I thought I'd share what my husband deemed a good first song,
as I nervously sat very still, waiting a huge needle to be a to............... to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be a, to bea. toenen. toen. toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toen, toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe.................................... And,. And,. And,. And,. And,. And,. And. And. And. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Solid Crew. Oh wow. Yes, please.
Embarrassed and gobsmacks, I screamed at the top of my lungs,
are you fucking kidding me?
It wasn't all bad, my son was born to an Ed Sheeron song the same, I walked down the aisle
to.
Well, there's, you know, can't listen to opinion here in this house, but there we thanne. I the thin, I have on it. 21 seconds ago, hopefully a fucking Shear and we get a proper song on.
All jokes aside though, he has had a kid.
And if you want to come on here, Ed, we're absolutely open arms to that.
You've got an album coming out. You might want a bit of promo. Exactly. Can't wait to read both of your books. Oh, we've th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. the tho. the th. the the tho. the the tho. the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th we had the most listeners ever for our podcast. Yes we did. Yeah, really pleased about that. Let's see whether the bin
anecdote gets us back up there this week. Let's convert those listeners to
book purchases. This is all free content. Why not go out and buy our books?
And Sarah said, and please have more children to keep the podcast going. It's not for the one to try and Sarah. Lou. Are you listening? th. th. th. th. th. Are you th. th. th. th. th. the the th. Are you the th. the th. th. the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the. the the the. the. th. th. th keep the podcast going. It's not for the one to try and, Sarah. Lou, are you listening? Okay, um, that was a joke about, like I said, um, can you read?
Do you know what, this week, Rob, I've had the conversation, I've had, I'd say,
this is the show's the up and down of the week.'ve had the conversation. Thank God this is the last time we ever do this.
We have to remember this moment and not have a third one.
Exactly, yeah, but I would like you to have more if possible.
Yeah, I know, but you know, well let's see what happens with the listening figures.
If they drop off, Lou, let's go to fucking work. This house earns money, not me, or you, the house earns money.
Start getting the kids on there.
Get them to 18.
Do you want to have a kid?
Do you want to do the grandparent?
Parent, inhale.
That would be quite good, wouldn't it?
Oh, this is a good one.
This is a good one.
Please keep it anonymous. on just listen to your Ian Sterling episode and he mentioned about probably one day leaving the baby somewhere. Well this is just reminding me of a
story from work we are an estate agent where one of my colleagues was doing
a viewings with a couple. They had just been on a viewing with the couple and
they've got a new baby and had made their way to the next house and they'd
driven to the next house when the mum screams and says, Where's the baby? It turns out that they had left the baby in the car seat
in the middle of the living room in the first house
that they previously been!
Oh wow!
As you can imagine, that was probably the worst 10 minutes
of the new parent's life.
Oh my God, that's amazing.
Happy to report the baby was sleeping when the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby that that the baby that that the baby that the baby was that that the baby was that the baby was that the baby was the baby that the baby was that the wiser. Just the vision of that empty house but for the baby in the seat.
Also look, even if the baby weren't sleeping and was screaming, you'd always end that story
with, yeah, the baby was sleeping, don't worry.
Imagine if you'd put your house on the market and you have to go out, don't you?
Because the estate agent shows them round. Oh yeah. And then you get the the the the their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha the baby the baby the' the' the' the thee thee the the the thee the the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the baby the the the the estate agent shows them round. Oh yeah. And then you get back and they're in the middle of your sitting room.
He's an asleep baby in a chair.
Going these house buyers are getting younger and younger.
What is it?
YouTube, Bitcoin, daddy's money?
Disgusting.
The overtime I did for this deposit on this flat light I bought for seven grand in
1972.
Right, should we do small business shout out. It's been a a a the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's their th. th. th. thoes. thoes. th. It's th. It's th. It's thoes. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's their their their their their their their their their their their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. the. the. thoo the. tho tho tho tho tho tho thease the the -out? Yeah There we go. It's been a very fun morning. Just got an email from Uber. You're gonna love this. Am I Uber?
to thuber? What on earth could you say? What on earth could it say?
Let's delete that. Here go, small business shout. I thought you were doing Uber for your small business show. Oh, no, fuck those guys! Little car company guys, guys. Oh, their thah. thah. thah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thuuuu. th. th. th. to. to. th. to. to. th. th. th. It's th. It here we go. Hey guys firstly podcast is fantastic. I have four kids and can
really relate to what you guys talk about and it's a great listen to while I'm washing windows.
I heard on your podcast you're doing shout-outs for small businesses. I've just started on my own
doing window cleaning in the West Sussex area. Could I ask for a shoutout for my business?
Clearview window window cleaning at my website. Clearview WC.co.uk.
If you can, that would be great.
If you need your windows cleaned,
I'm just down there brightening,
and I'll be happy to drive to London
and give you a free window clean.
I do actually need my windows cleaned,
that to force you to do that drive every week.
Or ever often you have them, but my windows are disgusting. You guys are doing a great job with your podcast, keep it up.
Carregards and thanks, Ben, clear view, window cleaning.
So if you need your windows, clean.
So if you need your windows, clean.
So if you need your windows, to be cleaned.
the windows, I don't know what the difference cough up the bloody greenbacks. Come on, Romesh.
With his 45,000 windows, I imagine he's got by now.
Oh, he's never in his fucking house to look through him.
That's why he don't get them clean.
He'll get them done at Television Center.
That's his house.
Clearview, W.C.
C. Good luck Ben. And yeah, I do need to be windows clean if anyone knows anywhere in the bromie area.
Okay.
Also, no one's come back in contact
about why my barbecue nearly exploded
when it all throws over if anyone's got any heads up on that.
If that's the first time that's ever happened, Rob.
Then that is worrying if no one's got in contact. Maybe I'm a superhero and I've got like, I'm a superhero, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. I. I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, likethe beginning of a film yeah they do that little sort of montage of moments when it really I when Spider-Man
sort of jumps and he goes really eye and he's like why have I gone so why?
If you are a superhero Rob I mean this please don't quit the podcast I need
this well I always thought actually which really showed my lack of
ambition as a youngster when I worked in Sange Briggs at 16 stuck in shells I was like, and I was on £3.61 an hour, I would be like, I would be great if I was like Superman, I was really fast because I could come
here and I could basically put all the yogurts out in about 20 minutes and still
get paid for eight hours. What a terrible use of superpowers? I had the opposite.
When I used to work in the local pub Rob, bringing the logs in from the log shed. Of course you did the th, I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like like like like like like like like like th like tho tho tho thathe like thathea, I was like that, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was liked, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I to to to thin, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, thin, thin, tho-up to tho-upo' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Of course you did in the fucking shire wherever it was you grew up.
Yeah.
So it would be two hours work a week.
One hour on Wednesday, one hour on, because they had open log fires and they had a log
shed.
But they gave me an hour's work on a Saturday.
Yeah.
And it was a maximum of 15 minutes work.
So I needed to string it out over an hour. So I just, it was the opposite of your yogurt plan.
I was just trying to slow, do it more slowly.
I just sit in a log shed for 45 minutes, pre phone and just stare.
Free phone!
Just sat.
I remember pre phone.
I used to have a shit read in the back of shampoo bottles.
Yeah, I mean, imagine what it was like getting on a train pre-phone. Anyway, we'll come to that on Friday.
Should I do a quick?
Hi, Rob and Josh.
I'm a massive phone on the show.
Two children aged, three and four,
and I absolutely love listening to all the lockdown,
taurown, and I've lifted my spirits,
and reminded me of the positives that have come business has been able to help out lots of parents struggling to get their children reading or to find brilliant books that their children will love. My business is called
Chestnut Books. I create bespoke, one-off and subscription boxes of books for children,
based on their age, interests and ability. The boxes are suitable for children zero to
12. I was a teacher for 11 years but left the profession after having my second child to spend time at home with them and this business has given me something to focus on. The website is W.W.W.C.H.S.T.N. Books.
to co. UK. And at Chestnut Book Boxes on Instagram.
Fucking L. I'm tired. Thank you to Julia for that. I can think of two books that would be really good to put in a box. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, oh, old, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their their th. thi. th. th. to. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the th. th. the the th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th of two books that would be really good to put in a box. Oh yeah, though old your one, 90s television, watching neighbours twice, is it called?
Watching neighbours twice a day, growing up in the middle of now, we're in the 90s, watching
too much television and Rob Beckett's a class act.
Also I've got another small business shout out. This is from the street dogs of Europe that are saying we're thua th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, thii. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. I thi's thi. Watch, watching thiouin' watching, watching th. Watch, watching watching watching watching watching watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, watching, trying to raise some money to help support the middle-aged stiffnecks that keep sending us dog food
We're absolutely fine the bins are overflowing
And that's some street dogs some street dogs
Didn't someone shout that you this week. Yeah, someone went mother fucking street dog out of a van which is probably one of the best
best echoes I've ever asked. Thanks you listening. We've got another great interview? thirty. to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the th. the th. to the to their? th. their. their. their. their their th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. te. te. teen. ten. ten. ten. ten. ten. teins. te. te. te. thin. thin.'ve ever asked. Thanks you listening. We've got another great interview on Friday we've got Abbey Clancy presenter and model wife of Peter Crouch, a previous guest,
so she's spilling all the beans about the Crouch Clancy Clancy.
Claims. It turned out. Well yeah, but she'd never listened to podcast before
until she had a long journey and she said she was a bit nervous because
because I thiiiiii. th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, th, thi, th. thi first time she traveled after lockdown and her brother I think said, oh listen to
this you'll like it and she absolutely smashed through all the episodes and she's a big fan
now.
And if you are, I would, I think we should push more people to get their friends and family, because there's so many people I've recommended podcast too, and a lot of a tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thr, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thr-a, I think, I thr, I thr-a, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'm, I tho, I tho, I tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thr, thr-a, thr-a, throwne.. and, throwne. and, I think, I think, thr-a, thr-a.a, I think, thr-a how you set it up. So if you have got older or less tech, knowledge, advanced friends and family, grab their
phone and then download this podcast and subscribe to it and show them how to listen and
then we can sort of get more people involved in listening.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
Oh, it's been lovely, isn't it? We'll see on Friday th.