Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP15: The Emotional Breakdown Special

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S PARENTING HELLS03 EP15: The Emotional Breakdown Special More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in ...touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.
Starting point is 00:00:27 The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations
Starting point is 00:01:14 of modern day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. thi. thi we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whitton? There you go. You're excited, that crew.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Yeah, that is my three-year-old Lila Rose, who found your names hilarious. Hopefully a fan of you guys when she grows up. Just to shout out all the young dads and moms who, listen, I'm 25 with two kids, a seven-year-old and a third and a third on the way. Ooh, I was so 18 when he had his first. Yeah, good on him. Legend, my oldest has been asked if he was her brother on a few occasions.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Other kids just don't expect me to be their dad. I know, but then you're gonna be a really cool young dad. Really cool young dad. Yeah, because he's got with like a 17 year old. Yes. Absolutely smashing it up at the euros. Yeah, I personally have taken sacrifices, being a young dad, as I've missed out on doing many fun things with friends. Lockdown has really allowed me to drop out the people who don't seem to bother with me
Starting point is 00:02:38 and allowed me to concentrate and work hard to support my family. Yes, mate. work hard to support my family. You guys are amazing and even though there is an age get with me and you both parenting at the age of... All right mate, you're not 15, don't start giving it a large one, you're 25. Do you know what I mean? I'm going off this geyser. He's writing in like with fucking Ian McKellon and Dame Rudy Dench. I'm 35 mate I'm in me fucking prime. You mean that shit, I'm peaking at 40. Although I don't get a lot of the references you old relics put into the podcast. I did. Did he say that?
Starting point is 00:03:12 No. Anyway, good on you for dropping out the dead wood. You got to do that. That is Ryan Smith from Milton Keynes. Thank you, Ryan. How has your week, Rob? Well, to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi. I's. I's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I's, tho. th to be honest, this week I've been working a lot and looted the girls to Sandy Balls, a caravan park. Come on now.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Come on now. I feel like you should start. I've got a few bits. I've got a few bits I need to dwell on Sandy Balls. No, I don't think he should dwell on Sandy Balls. No think he should move on. No, no, I wasn't there. No, but it just meant the name Sandy Balls. Oh, yeah, I think the caravan part probably started that as a laugh for a bit of banter. But, but then it took off as an actual legitimate place.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Okay, as legitimate business. Yeah, it's a legitimate business now. It's called. It's called tha. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. It's called. the the tha. thia. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thean. thean. thean. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. the the tha. the the the the the than. So, are you telling me you've not done much parenting? Because I've got some terrible news, Rob. I've not done much parenting either. Okay, right, this, we're up against the wall here. We're a minute in. Don't worry, I've got some Instagram. I've got some Instagram. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Let me go from a couple of things. I've got a couple of dusty anecdotes. Let's get them off.
Starting point is 00:04:28 If you start telling an anecdote about weaning, people are going to know. This isn't. No, no, I've got something that's quite funny from the Lion King, when we went to see the the like little bar area that's a music playing in the background before we went into the show when we was getting drinks and stuff and it was also quite nice sort of songs and all of a sudden you know the Lily Allen song fuck you yeah yeah and that came on and I was like so weird obviously someone's just got their iPad iPod I pod how old am I their phones whatever it is Spotify sonos somethingos, something's on a shuffle. And if you don't know that song, it is literally just fuck you all the whole thing. Fuck you, fuck you very, very much, fuck. And they played for about two minutes and there's just kids everywhere and all the parents were looking around and I was like, this cut, this must
Starting point is 00:05:21 be an accident. And then all of a sudden... Was anyone else clocked it? A couple of people, but you didn't want to make too much of it in case the... In case that, you know, for example, here's some of the lyrics, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, very, very much. And that's the chorus basically. Do you know I often argue with people, because I think Lily Allen's one of our greatest pop stars and a superb lyricist and I don't feel at this point that I lay off to my myself caught in this argument because I'm such a kind of a big ba. I didn't know you had such a strong opinion on Lily Allen. I think she's great. I think she's great. Yeah, she should get her on this. Oh man. Hopefully she's done some
Starting point is 00:06:02 parenting, help us her. How are you been Lily? Well I'm in a the the the th. She's this. Oh man. Hopefully she's done some parenting, help us out. I just think she's... How you been Lou? Well I'm in a theatre production moment so I'm not doing any parenting. This should be a Rose and Lou podcast really. They've taken a real hit this week. But no, no, so basically this song was playing in the background and then all of a sudden I saw like a absolutely panic-stricken 21-year-old, probably a drama student graduate that's working behind the bar, hairing through, pushing people out the way, launched themselves at their, you know, cassette player or whatever it is, they've got them hooked into the system. But yeah, that really made me laugh. All parents panic, all the theater, my god, theatre closed back up after it reopened 18 runs in. Just Andrew Lloyd Webber kicking down the door, ripping that out of people's ears.
Starting point is 00:06:50 But yeah, so that's something that happened at Lion King. So that's one minute, 40. No, I'll tell you, I'll tell you about my week, Rob. Fuck, fuck, I knew it'd run dry at some, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, that, that, I'd that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's that's that's something, that's something, that's something, that's something, that's something, that's something, that's something, five and three. So I'm going, so I've, the reason I haven't been doing much parenting. Yeah, you've left Rose. Yes, I've left Rose. And I didn't realize. Gives us a great angle though, doesn't it, you know, access the court system. I didn't give me a bumpy few months, but eventually when I became a kind of Lawrence Fox figure it would get awkward but um yeah yeah of course so when I god imagine that being your dad
Starting point is 00:07:30 I know mate it's stressful I should dad do oh stuff used to be an actor no he hates everyone have you heard of Lewis? Look guys, I think with that, how many shows are there on tell? There's someone solving crimes with just one name? Do you know what I mean? Like, that's so many crimes? Moss. Frost. Frost. That's it, I think. And Poirot. What's the lady one? There's a lady, there's a lady, Melda Stolten, and it's just right, it's just called like Rose or something.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I said, no. Vera! Vera! Remember when Pauline Quirk from birds of a feather was in broadchurch? I don't know. I've never seen broadchurch. Someone told me about Pauline quirk. Go on. That she never stands up in a scene. Come on. That way, I can't be true. Come on.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Never stands up in a scene. Sorry, Rob. I wouldn't bring that. I'm on normal weeks, but I know in the situation we're in. Right, don't worry. I've got to still a black anecdote. Don't worry about it. So Paul in, let me do Paul in, standing. got to. She can stand. I'm not saying she's like I'm that American president. If she can't stand she would have been on your show. Yeah, of course. But you know, since
Starting point is 00:08:49 you've done the Paralympics and last leg for years. Yeah. If Pauling Quirk's got a disability and you don't know about it, you need to sat your research. Oh no, I wasn't saying she's got a disability. I think it was just she called no loads of photos here, Pauling Quirk stood up. Stood up. Yeah, look, there is. How Pauling Quirk. Do email in if you've seen Pauling Quirk stood up. How Pauling quirk conquered her dieting demons?
Starting point is 00:09:12 What did you do, Pauling? Stand up. Sot, sat down, not moving. I think she's lost a bit of timber to be fair though according to this. She's got a string of theatre schools in like the Reading area that I always see adverts for when I'm on the train. Really? The Pauling Quirk School of Acting. Right. Anyway, I apparently Silla Black, apparently Cilla Black demanded to be uplit all the time. So like when she did TV filming, she didn't want to be to be to be to be lit to be lit to be lit to be lit to be lit to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be their the the the their woomereezymea their. the a thoom. A. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, the, the, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, the their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, they. I. I. Yeah, they. I. Yeah, tooome. Yeah, tooome. Ia, tooomea, too, thea, thea, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too, too, too, too, tha. Yeah, thatop, she wanted to be lit from the bottom. What like she's telling a ghost story? Yeah. But like this could be absolute follocks.
Starting point is 00:09:49 This is a let right, but apparently she used to be uplit, which is fine if you're on a TV set because you can design the lighting to light you in that way, okay. And people might people like, oh, that, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could thoom, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, this could could could could could this could could could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this could this this could this this this this th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi. thi. thooooooo. thoooo. thoooooo. th. thooooooo with a 40 year old bloats that go oh can you move here for the lighting? What the fuck has happened to people? Fuck off mate you're 45 you've got a rugby top on from tofs and now you're worried about the fucking lighting. It's bouncing off your big ball dead anyway can you believe about 20 years ago 40 year old go in oh can you move for the lighting and I don't even the the the the the the th I the the the th I the th I'm the th I'm the th I'm the the th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to the. I'm to to to to to to to the the the the the lighting. And apparently I'm in the arts and telly. Apparently. But no, but the reason why I did, I've not done much parenting, is I record my audio book this week, Josh. How was it, Rob? Right. I'm going to tell you what happened on the first day, we'll laugh about it, then we'll unpack it. I went the the the they. they. I. they. I. I. they. I. I went. they. I went. I went. they. they. they. they. I'm the they. the they. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the the the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the the a the a th. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm te a tea. tel a tel a te a tele a tea.a. tel a tel. tel. tel. I'm tel. I'm the moment. We got there. It was a tiny audio booth.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I sat down, had a panic attack, cried and had to go home. What? I know. I've never, I've never. I don't think I've had a panic attack, probably ever or about 15 years ago. Yeah. I don't really have, I suffer with a bit of anxiety, but I don't really get panic attacks. I'm sort of aware, because also there was no pre nerves or anxiety at all, because I've done hundreds of hours of voiceover.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Yeah. And I just got there and basically just all swelled up. And I think basically what it was, right? I don't know if you've got this. I didn't know these people. They're lovely, but the room three people I've never met before. The room was tiny, honestly, the audio box. It was like a box with no windows. There was about the size of, you know, where the bus driver sits?
Starting point is 00:11:30 Yeah, it was that, but no windows and tiny, where the walls were like touching my shoulders. I got a bit more claustrophobic. Where was this lockdown? So I went there and I was thu. I was thu I, so there was three trigger points, right, for this panic attack. One was the tiny box. It was too small and I need to see a window of the producer to feed off them. So you couldn't even see them? No, no, I could see no one. It was just, there was a window. It was a window. It would look like a kind like a kind like a kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind like a kind like a kind kind of kind of kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind. th. th. the kind of a kind of a kind. th. the the the the the their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. t. t. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. and it'll be perfect sound. Like, but it was tiny, you know, like I'm basically a chair in it. Like you were David Blaine. Smaller than that. Smaller than Blaine's box. Okay, we're talking.
Starting point is 00:12:13 So I think it's good to talk about this because it happens and I think other people might feel yeah, they have similar situations. So I'm going going in bowling in bowling in bowling in bowling in bowling in bowling in going in bowling full of confidence, I haven't got the kids. You haven't even thought, you haven't thought I'm stressed. You haven't. Feel good. Feel great, okay? Got meeting people for drinks after, think, I'm gonna get loads of sleep, blah, blah, blah, I know I had to do voice anyway. So I think it was freefold.
Starting point is 00:12:34 The tiny box. Yeah. kid and I was terrible at reading out loud. I had really comprehended it. I wasn't, you don't form an audio book, you just read it out loud. Where when I do steps go dating, I sort of make it up as a go, there's a guide. Yeah, you're not just reading 60,000 words. No, and I just improvise and it takes two hours or whatever. It's not three days in a row of seven hours. So yeah, so dyslexic, even I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've even I've even I've even I've even I've even I've even I've even I've even I've I've I've I've I've I've I've thia. Even I've thi. I've thia. I've the the the the the th. th. I've thi. I've th. their their their their th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I'm thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm today. I'm today. I'm today. I'm to. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th dyslexic, even though I've written it, I'm not very good at reading, especially out loud, and the speech therapy I'd do, so that was like a childhood trigger. And then on top of that, I sort of basically realized, because I'm quite honest in the book
Starting point is 00:13:14 and there's some upsetting parts of it. I was like, oh my God, this book's everyone's, and I've got to say this now out loud and I'm going to have to say stuff that's going to make me upset in a box in front of strangers and I can't read or speak out loud right and all this just like blew up in my head and I just got hot when red couldn't just couldn't calm down my breathing and got all all upset and then I just I went outside for a walk to try and try and calm down. And then I just went back here, I was, you know, a wrong Lou and I couldn't really calm down. And then I was just like, right, then I calmed down a bit, and I said, I'm not in the right head space to do this today. But what I would have done is, years ago, suppressed all those feelings, and got through it a bit of an emotionalist robot, and then it would eventually blowed, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thrown, right, thrown, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. And, right, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And of myself because I went back in and I'm really sorry, I've had a panic attack, I'm gonna have to go home. I can't do this. So I went home,
Starting point is 00:14:10 so awful thing to ask Rob. Yeah. Were they recording and will it make the book? Fuck those, mate. I don't know what they've got the look in their eye, it was like I've been possessed. Also like like like like I the like I the look like I the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like the look like their their their their their their their th. Also like possessed. Also like possessed, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their. their.ell. What the first impression! What a first impression? What a first impression? Yeah, so because I would have in the past been really like, oh my God, if I don't do this, I'll, you know, I won't, people all talk and I won't get employed again and they'll go, yeah, yeah. But I was just like, no, it's quite a big step for me to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to to to to to to to the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the first. What, the first. What, the first. What, the first. What, the first. What, the first. the first. the first. It's, the first. the first. It's, the first. It's, the first. It's, the first. the first. the first, the first, the first, the first. the first, the first, the first, the first, their. their. the first, their. the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first. the first, the first, don't worry, I'm going home and then I'll be alright tomorrow. So I went home and you know sort of unpacked it and I sort of was thinking about it and worked out that oh it's because you're nervous about talking out loud from school. I can talk all day like this. Reading out loud. It's so confronting. It's so confronting because you're like I used to get that thing when I used to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do pre at school and stuff, where my voice would go,
Starting point is 00:15:05 you know, so I'd go bright red and then my voice, yeah, and you can't regulate your breathing, and suddenly you've got all your breathing. And when I did, I did the Ford for Acaster's book, oh yeah. And I did it for the audio book, and I only had to read two pages, but I couldn't get my breath when I was doing it. Yeah, and they had to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep, to keep, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their, to their, to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.. threathue, threathue, threathea, threathea, threathea, threathea, threathea, threathea, threathea, the, the, the, th. Yeah. And they had to keep telling me to kind of calm down. And it was really, it was a weird experience. Especially when you're so confident, I'm so confident in my job and I know I can do it and I'll go out. You could send me out on stage for an hour with no material in front of a thousand people. I wouldn't just be fine, I'd love it. you know, but I just my head completely went because what was day two like? Well, so I went home and dealt with it but then I went in day two and then basically I did move it to a new studio which made a huge difference because it was no space and staffir.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah basically we just took over television center and I just sat in the middle. No like it, but like a proper seat and you know there was space and stuff like that. And then the so one of the girls was what came back from the day before and then because it was a different studio obviously you have to use the producers that are in that studio so it was two new people yes Charlotte and Penny and sure they were so lovely. I've got that one of the manager I've never seen you again I've got a couple of salty emails there from yeah so that will be a the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're to to to to to to try to try to try to to to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they they're they, so that will be the only time I've ever met me, having a full panic attack and never meet me ever again. And then they'll turn on TV and you're being chirpy on League of their Own and they're like, oh yes, guys got a fucking cheek.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Well exactly, but that's why, in the because you do have two sides of you, you can or don't be all chirpy, but then those sort of moments happened. And I think me having to admit that and say out loud, because I've never really admitted it before made me get upset. But anyway, we changed the studio. There was Charlotte there, Sean and Penny, and they were so lovely and so kind and I went in nearly happened again but I did some breathing, like regulating my breathing. And because I've done therapy in the past, I've rung the bloke that I spoke to in the past going, mate, I've had a panic attack here that helped me out. So I chat to him from it from it. And he helped me calm it down and regulate my breathing. So I went in and then I got really upset, I'm to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, th..... th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. tho. than, than, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've? No, so I've got one more day next week, but now I'm over that mental block, but it would have been so easy for me when I was going home, upset to go, ring
Starting point is 00:17:31 maid, you go, just get Josh or Tom Allen to do it, or whoever wants it, we'll pay someone to do it, I'm not doing it. But I thought, no, you've got to go back and do it. but it was really hard, but... I'm gonna say it wouldn't have been easy to get me to do it, Rob, I'm never recording a fucking audio book again in my life. But also, so like when you're reading it out though, like, you read it out. I did really enjoy it, to be fair, but now speaking to you, my complaints about needing some throats tune. Yeah, but then when I went in the second day, I'd sort it all out and dealt with it and like, okay, Robbitz, you're gonna, you're gonna just surrender to the emotion. At points you'll be upset reading this book, but that's part of the cathartic process of letting it all out and being honest and rather and suppressing it and lying about your feelings. Okay, I've the the the the the the th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. that, I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm that, I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I their their their their th. I I th. I I, I th. I th. I, I th. I, I th. I went, I went, I was, I was, I was, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that, I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I'm your feelings. I was like, okay, I got in there and then obviously the start of a book was always like
Starting point is 00:18:26 the dedications and I was like, I don't know, Rob. But I got it together so hopefully you'll enjoy the audio book. I mean, get it out of intrigue because I don't know what's going to be in there. You didn't do the dedication? Not in the audio book. No? No. I've never given it to an emotionally vulnerable man to do first. Get me on the banter chapter. Yeah, get you on the mock the week chapter. Yeah. What does Possible sound like for your business?
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Starting point is 00:19:36 Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligiburdy. Oh, this is what I want to talk to you about, Rob. Oh yes. That you phoned me up. Oh yeah. To, because they were worried about a legal note in your book. Yes, so I had a few notes in my book come back.
Starting point is 00:19:53 One, for a laugh in the book, I've said that you're talking about Mottie, the week, and how like sometimes competitive to get the microphone, to the the the the the the th w.... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th me, I'm, th the microphone for the end man and how hard I find it being five-fo-eight to walk to the microphone when you're up against like Hugh Dennis and Chris Addison because they're all like over six foot two and they massive is big long heads. Darrah's massive he's not even doesn't even have to walk to the mic but they still have some much massive that but but in the book I and Pauling Quirk are basically birds of a feather. They fly together, they sit together. Anyway, so in the book I've said, as a joke, obviously, because this isn't your height, but I say it semi-seriously, poor old Josh Widdicum, who's only five foot three,
Starting point is 00:20:37 has to employ a really fast leg shuffle to get there before the others. So I picked five foot three, because I think people might might might might fine foot three. Yeah. And then that just could do the truth. I don't think they would, but yes, that fair enough. But if I said you're three foot two, they wouldn't believe that. So I said you're five foot three, but they ask me, I do you I do give you permission Rob. I would quite like you to sue me though for PR. I think it'd be great for PR. Because I said you do off my book and it came back with no legal notes. You said my dick's three foot four didn't you? Yeah, exactly. No, there's a bit where I'm talking about my grand who used to sit and watch TV and slag everyone off, right? Yeah. And I say that these days, obviously if you don't like someone on TV, you can change the
Starting point is 00:21:30 channel, but in those days they only have four channels. But I put, in these days if you don't like someone, in brackets, Romesh Ranganath and Rob Beckett, etc. Nice, yep. lawyer has come back and gone that is totally acceptable. Really? Yeah. People do hate them. People do hate these guys. And then he described all the shows he hates about us. Yeah, I think that he actually got on board and said, could you flash this out a bit more? I just want to know what, what is it you hate about them? What is it you hate about? Let's get down to the nitty gritty of it? Well, we should to to their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, th. thi. their, their, thi. their, thi, thirty, that, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I's, I's, I've th. Yeah, I've th. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've. Yeah, I've stop talking about. Sorry, let me tell you about my week. I think that was a fair thing to talk about though because whether it is going to audiobook or people are we're talking about our weeks. We're talking about our weeks and we do
Starting point is 00:22:10 digress. That is. Yes. I've got an actual parenting thing to talk about. Okay. So they had swimming lessons in the morning and then so Lou took him swimming lessons and she was going off to see Hamilton on opening night, right? She's obsessed with that. I've got some bad news for you, Robert. It's been on for years. Oh, well, Hamilton? It's not opening. It's not opening night. This is a musical by Andy Hamilton, the writer, the writer of outnumbered. Oh, the writer. Oh, have I. Oh, have the news. the news. the news. Oh, have the news. Oh, have the news. the news. the news. the news. Yeah, have the news. the news. Yeah, I. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've got some some to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've got. I've got some some th. I've got some bad. I've got some bad. I've got some bad th. I've th. I've got some bad. I've got some bad. I've got some bad. I've got some bad. I've his. So Lou took him swimming and then give them to me about midday, we drove down to my mom's, okay? So obviously we're getting there a bit later, we get to about one-ish, half one, and they have to play my mom and dad take him to the park,
Starting point is 00:22:52 and to the beach, I'm doing a that. And then, so we didn't leave to about 8 o'clock, about half 7, 8 o'clock because we got there late. So I bathed them at my mums and then, which I loved, just a different bath. I put them in pajamas and chucked him in the car about half 7. They've been going to bed about half 7, So just because it was the heat wave ruined everything basically. So they've been going to bed late because it's the summer holidays. Anyway, I put me in the car half seven, drove them home.
Starting point is 00:23:30 They were asleep by about quarter to eight in the car in their pajamas. Got home, picked them both up, put me in their beds, went to bed. And then I was indoors by half eight, quarter nine. They went to bed earlier when I'd they'd their they were their they were they went to bed earlier when I'd driven them from Margate than they would have in our apps. You know, go no, I can't come down to Margate and I don't disturb their sleep pattern. They, their sleep patterns better if I'm driving a moment from Margate at 7pm. You can do that every night. I think I might have to. That's our new routine. A new bedtime routine. Drive them to back Margate. Drive the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the night the night night night night night night night night night the evening in to the night night night night night night night to to the driving to Margate. Drive them to Bat Margate about midday. Drive a moment in the evening, bedtime. And actually I got more than evening by driving home from Margate at half seven than I was getting by being at home without stupid routine that don't work anymore. Oh mate. What are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:24:17 What was the next night? Did it just click back into the old routine? The next night? Yeah they're just out of crying out loud. This is something I want to talk about as well. I think people will appreciate this as well Josh. I don't know is your daughter got an iPad or a device or anything that she watches stuff like. We've got an iPad? Yeah. Right so what do you have headphones for the iPad when you're out and about? Like if you're on a train or you know on holiday breakfast or something or lunch where you just panic. the the the the the the their. Oh?. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the iPad? When does she? I'll be honest with you. Yeah. We're very lax. We're very lax indeed. But she's not interested in it enough for it to be problematic. Yes. Well, out the iPad usage got problematic in lockdown when we were just, you know, go mental. But now they're only allowed it weekends, the iPad. They're not allowed it during the week, so they just have been on weekends. It's on a Saturday morning when we're
Starting point is 00:25:07 getting up a bit slow and lazy. Like a divorced dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, yeah. I treat their iPads and put them on the top of St. Paul's Cathedral. They've got Superman and Batman. I have once more access to the child. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the child. And then and during the week I take their iPads and put them on the top of St. Paul's Cathedral. But but but but so what we do is they've started like having the iPad quite loud like in the car or in the house so we've got some headphones and I think the rule should be if they're out in public in your house i their own public and they're at like a dinner table or a lunch table near you at a theme park or a hotel, they should have their headphones in. They can't just have it out loud. Yeah, I understand. That's not acceptable, don't you think? Yeah, totally totally. It's not like it's expensive for headphones, is it? No. No.
Starting point is 00:26:01 No, really? Yeah. Where did you lose them? Oh, well, I'll tell you all about it. It's been my tough old week. But carry on. So what, what's the situation? Well, the situation is, I don't think, can I say, get him some headphones?
Starting point is 00:26:14 Get him some headphones. That's rude, isn't it? I think you can in the world? Just I think there needs to be an acknowledgement if your child's out with the children. Yeah, not mine. Oh sorry. I'll either make him have it really like really low so they can't hear it or old. I don't really listening to Bing when I'm in Pizza Express. No, exactly. You know, at least bluey.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Yeah, you know. they. the thinne. but I think as a parent sometimes you forget that your kids doing that and it's out of older because it's like, you know. I remember being in a restaurant on holiday and before I had kids and a parent just getting the iPad out for their kid at dinner. I remember vividly thinking, I would never do that. That is bad parenting. Engage, chat. Let your child be in the moment. And I have changed. I just can't believe I was ever such a twat.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Also as well, you go like, no you're not on your iPad. And then me and Lou once said that to him, and we sat back in our chairs and got our phones out and looked at it. Yeah, what the fuck's going on? It's just a bit smaller don't mean it's all right. Yeah, I've got some text. I've got to look at Instagram, but you need to engage in doing that coloring, please, because your brain is forming. I just need to make sure if anyone's liked my photo of me at a beach from yesterday, actually. So I am tired. I'm tired. Oh yeah, thiii. Josh, we're being being thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tooomoing. thi. thi. tooing. thoing. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoing. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. talk about your week and then I've got Instagram messages. We can go through why you tired Josh you've been busy yeah well I'm working every night Rob till 11 p.m. right and then I'm not getting to sleep to one so hang I'll talk before your day because it started on Tuesday so this is
Starting point is 00:27:56 going out a week so you're a week into midday so how many days in a row is this? This is 12, 13. 13 so you're halfway through now and then it's day 4 that we're recording on. We're recording day 4 but when people hear this you'll have been about a week into it enough a week to go. Yeah, okay? So this is your day, every day. So get in at midday, live 10 to 11, then I'm not able to sleep for a good two hours, so get to sleep at one. Yeah. to get they. to get to get they. they. So, so th. th. So, so th. th. they. So, so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. So, th. But, th. But, th. So, th. But, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And the. And the. And the. And the. And th Yeah. And then my son wakes himself up by shitting himself awake at 5 a.m. Like all the best do. Like all the best do. I'm looking at four hours a night Rob. So I've had to implement. Can you not sleep in and Rose? It looks like, oh is it just they'll wake you up with you? He's in the room with me. Okay, yeah. So you can't really sleep through the sort of shit and scream. I'm ending up using the morning to do stuff because I haven't got any time in the day. Like this podcast or meetings admin account. Life admin. So I had to ask the production at Last Lake
Starting point is 00:28:54 because we're at a different studio. Normally there's a sofa in my dressing room but the dressing room at this studio which is a sports studio is tiny because apparently retired footballers never go in their own dressing rooms. They don't like their own company so they go straight to the green room. I noticed that or like League of their own and things like Freddy and Jamie you're like they're always like load of them, that's the first time they know what's in it.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Exactly. Exactly. They're finding out as the reader is. A lot of them get Alistair McGowan to do it as them. So I had to ask for a temporary bed so to be put the whole spot. So it's an inflatable single mattress. So this is my bedding now. This is my bedroom. How often are you getting to the line this mattress? I had half an hour's nap yesterday afternoon.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Okay, so it's not like you get there at mid-day and sleep till six. No, because then I might as well not turn up to work. Like, but whenever you get 20, so on your lunch break you basically go to sleep on the floor. I go to sleep on the floor of my dressing room. Oh, mate, there's that fridge above your head. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. No, well exactly. Imagine Roy Keene sitting in there. Better in mind, Rob, my dressing room is so small that the mattress is pressed up against both walls. Like the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like you've been sex trafficked. So that's what I do in my life now. I live basically in this small room where I sleep in the afternoons. So you could have been in Tokyo in a lovely hotel room. I know they have small rooms in Tokyo, but this is a new level. And I'm so tired Rob. And so are you're not doing much parents in the morning? So I get up. I'm getting up. I know they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I know th. I know th. I know th. I th. I know th. I know th. I know th. I th. I know th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. I have th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. that's th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's what th. That's what th. That's what th. That's what th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what I have th. I have th. I'm so tired, Rob. And so are you not doing much parents in the morning? So I get up, I'm getting up, yeah, because I want to see my children. School run? That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Ah, I haven't done the school run. No. But this morning I did help my daughter. Her two best friends are leaving nursery today, Rob. To go to school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the school. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to go. to go. to go. I. I. I to go. I'm to go. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm to go. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to go. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t to to t t to to to to to t to to to to to get get to get to to get to get to going to next year, because she's just the wrong side of the September cutoff. Oh, so she's going to be really old when she goes to school, isn't she? Yeah, it's 24. Um... But... But... You're like, you know what you are? You're like damp.
Starting point is 00:31:18 You just sneak up on me with jokes. I'm just out of nowhere. No, it's funny. It's really good stuff, Josh. Great delivery out and no, but I can't say it coming. You don't think it's coming and it's there again. It's there again. Just when he least expects it. When you least expect it. You come out of nowhere, exhausted, croaky voice. Just so. No, I'm doing it myself. I don't remember saying it. It's just falling out of you. You've got nothing left to give. You're like an old retired boxer that's still got a haymaker. It comes at your slow, but it's still got the power. So I, um, this morning I was making cards for friends, it was their last day.
Starting point is 00:31:58 She was fine emotionally and I started crying, Rob. I just started crying because they were leaving they're not my friends. Do you know them? Do they come around? I'm not to go for a pint with but I know that. Come on, they're 24 they know the way around the Lambreen. I know them. I know them. Yeah, they're very nice young girls, but they're four. That sounds weird. I don't know what to say. They're very lovely girls. You cannot say that young girls are nice about to sound like an absolute perfect.
Starting point is 00:32:35 No, they're very lovely young women. They're very good friends to my daughter, right? Oh, that's a good way. But I just burst into tears because they were leaving nursery. What did your daughter she they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. they th. they they the. they they they they're very very very very very very th. the. they're very good. they they they they they're very very very very very good. I. I they're very very very good. I they're very very very very. I. I. I they're very very very. they're very. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I thi. I the. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. They're very good. They're very good. They're very good. They're very good. They're very they're very they're very they're very they were leaving nursery. What did your daughter say? She didn't even really notice, I don't think, because she was too kind of interested in sticking this stuff to the card. Yeah. I'm just crying away about the sands of time slipping between my fingers. So basically what we're saying is, we've done no parenting this week, really,
Starting point is 00:33:00 because of work, we've done bits of it, but we've both emotionally emotionally, emotionally, emotionally, emotionally booth and I'm sleeping on a floor and bursting into tears about two four-year-olds. And I've thought my life turned out well. This is success, Rob. This is what success tastes like. It tastes like 72. There is going to be recorded me having a panic attack. There's going to be recording you having a panic attack and there's CCTV of me on a fucking Lilo that doesn't fit in a room listening to a John and Ellis podcast so that I could go to sleep. It looks like boars it looks like prison for kids. It's not as bad as prison but you haven't got prisoners would have more in their cell than that, at least an Xbox and a telly. I didn't think that being in TV would involve if needing to work in your dressing room, having to stand up your Lilo so that you can pull your chair out to sit at the desk.
Starting point is 00:33:54 The Lilo. And then I said to the production, I was like, are they going to leave my lilo in my dressing room overnight there's no one else I could because I don't want like tomorrow Steve and I'm pumping it up every day I know but what if they move my dressing room Steve Mannerman walks in he's got my Lilo do you know I mean you love that he'd love it yeah you better I have to go and try and find John Barnes to share it with him I'm so she's she's alright about the kids are to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi the the their the the the the. theee. the the the the th is that is I think Paloma Faith said it on this show the kids are much more hardy than the parents we're the problem yeah of course they don't care they can't give a fuck and I'm crying away as we make a picture of pressed flowers I think this is normal though but I just don't think people people to the to the pub you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to the the to the the to th I th I th I th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi. I'm tho. I'm tho. I tho. I thi thi tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the pub, you know, how is your week? You know, I burst into tears making a card for my daughter's friends?
Starting point is 00:34:47 Okay, alright. But then I toughened up after I'd have my nap on the floor of a dressing room. How's the audio book going, Rob? Yeah, up and down. Getting some words done, getting some words donethrough those pages? Jesus Christ. What are we doing? Alright, some Instagram. Should we do some Instagram? Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:08 And then we'll do small business shout-outs and then we'll rack up for this. Here, here, here. I did have something else to tell you, but I can't remember what it is. It can save it for Friday. We've got some Japanese children's stories here. Have you? We're talking about Tokyo and the Paralympics. Here we go. This is from Eleanor. My youngest son's dad is Japanese.
Starting point is 00:35:29 We are separated but very good mate. He has insisted that I must keep our little boy Ken's umbilical cord in a special box. Oh no. If Ken ever goes to war, question mark, he must take a piece of it with him for protection as the connection to his mother and the other piece must be buried with me when I die. Oh my god. Apparently this is a part of tradition in Japan. Yeah well fair enough I'm not going to obviously have a go to Japanese tradition but that is it. Do you know what actually I am too much admin. He's gone to war, make sure you've got a gun, not an umbilical cord. Imagine going to war with an umbilical cord.
Starting point is 00:36:09 I know. That in your pocket. Literally the last thing. Literally, the last thing, the last thing you need. Right, I got me water bottle, a bit of my mom's body and my body. I don't know where it is. Imagine that thin. When you you th th th th th th th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to go going to go going going to to to to to to to to to to to go. I can't. I'm. I'm. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I to go. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooomuu. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to and deciding which bit to keep. Well basically, this is Eleanor says periodically when he comes to see the kids he does a cord check to make sure I still have got it just in case there's a war. Why doesn't he keep hold of it? And then if Ken Jr. goes to war then he'll be able to be able to know if his dad's called Ken as well who's Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken's to to to be to be to be to be the kid. I I to be to be to be to be the kid. I to be the the to be the to be the the to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. Well. I the. Well. Well. I things. I things. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Well. Well, the. I the. Well called Ken as well. Well, who's Ken? Ken's the kid. I'm sorry, I thought Ken was.
Starting point is 00:36:46 No, Ken, no, yeah, obviously, I didn't want to bring it up, but Ken for a, Ken for a baby is funny, right? Anyway, so what they've said is so, the Ken's Elinor said, so, as if a couple of years is a big deal, I surely the dad can't vet that. That's Japan. The mom dies. The dad, the dad, the dad, who they've since split up, can't go. You're gonna have to bury that unbroken. I do think if you get separated, some, maybe some of the traditions, because that's the tradition for the mom and the son. Yeah. You can't start bowling, I mean I don't get a ball. I mean, I'm, I'm it it it, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the the the th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, I'm their, I, I've their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've the the the dad, I's. It's, I's, I's, I's. I's, I's. I's, I's. I's. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, I, I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, the that, the the that, the that, the the that, the the to get involved. I don't know. I mean, I'm wading into a big Japanese patriarchy. Do you know in Japan, thinks Japan, that if you get a cab home from work, after a work night out, they drop off the most senior person first and it goes down in hierarchy not where everyone lives.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Yeah, I don't know whether I should have implemented that on my tour. Definitely. Yeah, I think tour, isn't it? Well yeah, but I was just too polite Rob. We'll just get someone who lives near you. But I do, yeah. No, no, if you go past their house, that's fine, don't go out their way. You're just a Japanese guy when it comes to touring. Well I'm not, I want to be do that. Yeah, I think that is fair and I think you're a good man for that. Thanks mate. I needed that. I do think, bury in your child of an umbilical cord or you bury in yourself. That's a different level. That's a different level. That's a different. I think the mom gets the umbilical call when, yeah, the that's to imagine, imagine, to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thin, I'm thin, I thin, I thin, I'm thin, thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, and I thin, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury, bury thin, bury thin, bury thin, bury thin, bury thin, bury in thin, bury in thin, bury in they. thin, bury in their, bury in their, bury in their, bury in the it's in, I think it's in the spare key drawer. Where is it? It's by the batteries? I just don't understand why she's got to keep, I suppose you don't want to hand over your umbilical cord to your ex. I don't think that's top of your list. No. There's other things going on there, isn't it? Like the dog who gets the things, the house, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr, tho, tho, the the the the the the the tho, tho, thrue, tho, it's tho, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr, thr, thr, thr, their, their, their, their their thr-a, their thr-aa, throomomomoomoomoomooma, thoooooma, tho, tho, thr-a, tobe But when you got divorced in 97. Right, here we go. We've got...
Starting point is 00:38:45 Who's gonna get the copy of Jagged Little Pill by Alarjan Morrisette? So, your references are mental. That's such a... I forgot that existed. You said 907. No, but I know, I'm saying it's a good one. How you can go to 997, pick out an album I forgot existed, and not only do I remember it, I know it is that is is and it's got a mental name. That is peak Widdicum. That you don't get better on that.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Do you know what I mean? That's like Beckham curling one in straight on someone's nut. That is vintage Widdocom. Thanks, but. Halanis Morris said, jagged little pill, he's on fire the guy. He's so tired, here we go. Just want to back up Rob's story about how hot it was at the Lion King. I was at the same performance as Rob and I'm eight months pregnant and had to climb to the cheap seats at the top.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Needless to say, I was a slanty mess. Climb. Well, I think there's stairs. She might have a bit of the pool seats at the top and to be fair it is steep so if you're an eight months pregnant that is a that is a climb I'd say I'm backtracking do you see that Josh completely backtracking there I mean she's eight month pregnant I've forgotten she was eight months pregnant yeah yeah she's pregnant that is a pregnant that is a pregnant get over it get exercising stop but I'm gonna let Laura from working to their s' you're told me a the the to need need need need need need need need need need need need need need need need need need I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I I I I their. I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the true. I'm their. I'm their. I'm to their. I to I was a sweaty mess before the show even started. I've been a fan of the podcast from the very beginning and loved every episode. Please keep us all parenting, keep all parents laughing and on the edge of sanity. Talking of being hot, Josh, I had another terrible experience when I went to the View Cinema in Eltham.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I love the Views Cinema, I think they've got... You're such a celib-a the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, thus, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, the view, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th...... So, tho, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, their, thoooooooooo, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, aren't you, Rob, the view cinema in Eltham. The view in Bromley has got the best seats ever. They're like lazy boys, right? The ones in Elm isn't as good, right? I'll be honestly if you're the view. I've done a throat about it. Also, it's very steep and it was very hot. I went on a summer's on tour, right? I'm glad you added on tour.
Starting point is 00:40:47 It just sounded like... I don't go there normally. That's one of your things. Yeah, also I've really enjoyed that y'all in mid-anicto, don't worry about it. I'm so fucked off. Get on your lilo. Anyway, let me finish. my mate Jack or vouch for this year, it was full and it was steep and I had a coat on me, right? And then I bought some ice cream, okay? Like Ben and Jerry's little ice cream tub and I walked up
Starting point is 00:41:10 and I literally as I walked into the cinema I'd sweat on my forehead, you know when immediately starts me now. Yeah, and then I got there and then as I sat down my ice cream my ice cream, my ice cream, my ice cream my ice cream, my the, my my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the, the, the, the, and my, and my, and my, and my, and my, and my, the, the, my, and, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, and my, and my, my, and my, and my, my, and my, and my, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and couldn't get my coat off because the seats were so tight. I was sweating to put it, it dripped off my nose into my ice cream. And I was speed eating because it was basically turned into a drink. Anyway, at the end I had to drink it before the film even started. And then eventually I couldn't get my coat off. So I sat there sweating and just slept through the whole thing, woke up and I looked like I've been to the gym, I had to ring my shirt out and I missed the whole film. Have I ever told you about the first time I went to the cinema?
Starting point is 00:41:48 What, they were down in Devon, meat? Stop me if I've told you. I went to Ghostbusters too, right? Classic. Yeah, I was very excited. I bought a Ghost-oaste, to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I to go. I the ghost, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to go. I, to go. I to go. I to go. I bought a to go. I bought a to go. I bought a to go to go. I bought a to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. I bought a to go. I bought a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, I, I, their, th. the. the. to, to, to, to, toast. to, to, to. to. to. to. to, went, the. I love much. Keep talking. And then so we went to the Alexandra cinema in Newton Abbott which is a shit-ol is it? Or is it cute now? Newton-abot is where Charlie Baker's from. Oh sorry, oh sorry I didn't know he lived in downtown Tokyo. Newton-Aver I wouldn't describe as the nicest town in Devon, but I wouldn't describe it as the worst. But it's got a great cinema. Newton Abbot, Alexander Theatre, cinema, is it? Yeah, it's a little look at it? I don't think it's still there, is it? It's a one screen, it's a one screener and it's tiny.
Starting point is 00:42:37 It's got poor patrol on at midday, then Candyman at five, and at eight. If you said you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you said th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that's th at that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's, yeah. It's, yeah. It's, yeah. It's, yeah. It's, yeah. It's, let's, let's, let's that's that's that's th. Yeah, let's th. Yeah, let's that's that's that. Yeah, yeah, let's that. Yeah, let's that's that's that's that's that's busters too on, I wouldn't have been completely surprised. Let's put it that way. Yeah, it doesn't look, it's not really a cinema in the sense of like a multiplex. It's basically an old church that they've converted, isn't it? Yes. But it's all red and velvet. It must have been exciting been to a cinema. It's a church.
Starting point is 00:43:05 It's a cinema. It's a cinema. It's not a church of a tele. It's the church of Hollywood. A cinema. Right? Okay, yes of course. So you went there. Yeah. And I was going with my friend Thomas Bosens and his family the Boasos, right? Oh the old bozos. Oh the old bozos. And the old the old the old the old. Oh, the old. Oh, the old, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the the the church, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the church, it's church, it's church. It's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's church, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's the church, it's the church, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's not. It's not, it's not the church, it's not the church, it's not church, it's not the church, it's not the church, it's not church, it's not the church, it's not church, it's the the church, it and they'd all been to the cinema before. I'd never been to the cinema, I was embarrassed I'd never been to the cinema before. So I pretended, well whenever that came out about seven or eight maybe. Okay. So I lied and said I'd been to the cinema before. Would you think you could get away with right? Yeah. But I gave it away when we all sat down and I was a foot higher than everyone else because I hadn't realized that the seats folded down. You're a massive blonde afro as well. Just way above everybody else on top of the scene.
Starting point is 00:43:57 So you're sat there and are you thinking, oh a bit high? What's going on here? Did they tell you or did you work it out? Oh no, due to the balancing it then just flipped down. I was balanced on top. I watched a film on a skateboard. It just flipped down. Yeah. Amazingly, it flipped down and I was then sat on the seat in a normal manner.
Starting point is 00:44:18 It was not like you was doing a kick flip? Yeah, exactly. Oh, Josh, but you managed to style it out? I styled it out. I don't know whether they haven't realized that I'd never been to the cinema before. But that staged with it. You should never lie, Rob. Never lie. Always be honest. Always be honest.
Starting point is 00:44:39 I think we've been honest. And I think to be fair we've done pretty to, to be fair, we've done pretty well here, considering we've done very little parenting because of work commitments this week. I think we've done a good episode, Josh. Yeah, I think it's been excellent. I've got a small business shout-outs, we do some of those. Yeah, let's do a small business shout-out. This is from Chloe Cocket. that's a tough name at school. Yeah. Clearly, cocke it, literally spelled cock with an E-double T. Oh, at least it's E-double T rather than I-T.
Starting point is 00:45:07 True, it could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse. Okay, to Rob and Josh, I would love you to give my boyfriend small business a shout- I would love you to give my boyfriend small business a shout-out. He has a wet fish. Sorry. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it. It's, it. It's th- It's t, it's t, it's t, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's a t t ttttrue. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It to give my boyfriend small business a shout out. He has a wet fish. So wet fish, sorry it's making me like I don't know what is making a little cock a wet fish just make right here we go. I would love you to give my boyfriend small business a shoutout. He has a wet fish shop slash fish. of shellfish, live lobsters, live crab, dress crab, oysters and more. People can check us out on both Instagram at Cod and Lobster, on Facebook at Cod and Lobster.
Starting point is 00:45:54 He opened the shop at the end of April 2021. He did the majority of work himself and he has worked so hard on it. I'm so proud of him. If you ever venture up north, be sure to pop in and I'm sure we can't s the th so tho tho to sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort tho tho to sort tho to s s s s s s s s s s out to to to to to to the to tho to to to the to to to to to to to to venture up north, be sure to pop in and I'm sure we can sort you both out of amazing fresh seafood. Thank you. Chloe Cockett, big shout out to Cod and Lobster on Instagram and Facebook. There we go. And do you know what, Rob? I think we can all say you read that out very well. Some of us were worried about how it was going to turn out. Yeah, that was okay. I see I'm not good at reading out. I. I. I'm that. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theee. I'm to to to to to to to to to to. to to. to to to to. to to. to to to out, am I? I thought you did a good job. Yeah, but that was one paragraph about fishmongers. Imagine 70,000 words about your life. I was definitely going to get the audio book after listening to that last 30 seconds, I'm less sure. I might just read the, I might just read the hard copy.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Just read it unless you're a crying man talking at you. I don't think they'll put the crying in. Oh I'm on Codden Lobster Instagram looks blinding. Well, I didn't know they now called a wet, wet fish shop. What's a wet fish shop? Well, she said wet fish shop slash fishmonger. Is wet you absolutely fishmonger. No one's ever called anything else a monger are they? Iron monger, fish monger, rima rima monger, banter banter monger. Yeah, that's you. I'm a laugh monger. I'm a laugh mong comeback. Do you know what? I'll tell you about a funny panic. On Friday, Rob, I'll tell you about where I had a panic attack once. And you'll enjoy that. Go ahead. Go ahead. Hi, Rob and Josh. Love your podcast.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Yeah. I preordered both your books today after listening to the Anglo-Saxons. Yes. I wanted to ask if you give my mom's business a shout out. She's a retired family chiroplactor based in Maidstone Kent recently launched her company, baby support group. It does what it says on the tin really. Provide support to parents or babies, specifically naught to six months. It's five pounds a session for two hours of talking, bonding and her answering your questions. That would be very helpful at that stage.. She th, th, th, I I th, th, th, th, th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She, th. She, th. She, th. th. She's a th. th. th. th. th. She's a th. th. She's a th. She's a thi. She's a th. She's a th. She's, th. She's a th. She's a th. She's, th. She's, th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She, th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. th. t. ti. ti. to. to. te. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. ttte. te. ttte. five pounds a session for two hours of talking, bonding and her answering your questions. That would be very helpful at that stage, I think. Oh nice. These topics are guided by the parents and the atmosphere is so relaxed and supportive.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Any kids are welcome to. Her mission is to pass on 30 years of experience working with families to parents who are maybe a bit scared at the reality of parenthood and how little they know. She has so much knowledge, so much to give and is honestly amazing. I would love to see lots of love directed her way. The website is W.W.W.W.W.W.W.B.W.B.W. W.W.W.W.B.W. W. Lowe. Oh, she's a retired chiropractice. A carprador said, I'm a stiol-a. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tooomom. to. to. tooom. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. She. I. I. to. to. She. She. She. She. She. She. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I................................................................................................. to... to.... stiff neck. That's the absolute opposite of what her mom is wanting to do. Next time you're down in Bromley, you go and see my man a deal and he'll sort your neck
Starting point is 00:48:50 out mate. Carapractor extraordinaire. There we go. There we'll sort of, you're a taq. tolape, thrown, throwne, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they, they, to to to tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, live your life basically. Yeah. And if you're having a panic attack, don't worry, you can come back again the next day. It's all right. If there's no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no arm. That's the same, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Yeah. Also, if you go to a cinema, do, do put the seats down. Yeah, that would be my tip. And unfortunately I had lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots that

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