Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP37: My back went holding the baby!

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

S03 EP37: My back went holding the baby! More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lo...ckdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:32 to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill, weave. Hey Joshua, can you say, Josh Widdicum?
Starting point is 00:01:27 Oh, okay. Go ahead, Josh Widdickum. Yeah. Can you say, Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Well done, my love. Oh, that's a nice one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Who was that? That was. Hi, Rob and Josh, love capital letters, the podcast. And we're listening to it continuously, as I only discovered it a month ago, thanks to the Catherine Ryan podcast. Here's my two-year-old son Joshua saying your names. He was born... No, no, I think it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was th it was th it was th it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it was from it blimey working from the start, right? Here's my two-year-old son Joshua, saying your names. He was born... Oh no, no, I think it was from her, Catherine Ryan's own podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:09 She rung me the other day for parenting advice about something, but she rang me and I did when I was on the phone, so I was just letting loose like you normally do before, you see the little red dotter recording. But I think that's what she's referring to. Catherine Ryan's great pop-dised. Here's my two-year-old son, Joshua is saying your names. He was born six and a half weeks early, which was very scary. But with the help and care of NHS, we all got through it together. He was eating raisins at the time. He was eating raisins at the time. I presume they mean, well, they were the their, well, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, was tho, was tho, was tho, was tho, was tho, was tho, was tho, was born, was born, was born, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, was tho, was thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's tho, tho. to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Hea, was too. He's too He was eating raisins at the time. Jesus Christ, how early was he? He didn't even come out in grape form.
Starting point is 00:02:48 And one of them wasn't in it to his liking. In case you're wondering why he said, yuck. Take care, Laura. There we go. I do find raisins a real mixed bag of a snack. Crabt their strawberries. Strawberries, bitter bastards. And they're all red, the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all they're they're their they're they're their they're their their their their their their th. Strawberries as well, out of season strawberries, bitter bastards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And they're all red, they're all red like the fucking juicy and they're not. Growing up on Dartmo Robby just used to pick wild strawberries. Oh, you're a little feral child, don't you? Little feral, a little dirty knees. But you still got dirty knees, you can't clean it off. They're running around in shorts in winter. winter dirty knees. Do I come across as the kind of child that went outside? You come across as a dirty knee boy. Do I? Yeah, my mom always thinks you look scruffy and dirty. We spoke about this because you're shoes. Yeah, I've never had dirty knees in my life. I like that Josh. Do you know what he needs? Do you know what he needs? Do you know what? Do you know what he needs? A good wash? Do you know what the thirty? Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you need? Do you th. Do you th th thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi thi? Do thi thin th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi? thi thi thi thi thi thi? thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi what? Never had dirty knees except obviously when I fell over jogging about two months ago.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah, yeah, scuffed knees. Poor, poor Josh. How are you, Josh? I'm all right. I mean, we've done so many recordings of this this week, Rob. That I don't actually see it feel like I've seen my kids. Do you know what I feel like you've done last leg leg th leg th leg is the this is our Tuesday episode but we're having to record it on Saturday morning due to work commitments next week and you've just woken up and I've been awake for nearly six hours off I'm flying so I got back at one to the
Starting point is 00:04:13 time so I got back at one a am one a am okay yeah because the problem is I actually I got back a half 12th I to the problem is I the problem I the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you th I th the th I th I th I th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the problem is, actually I got back at half 12 I think because I was particularly tired. The problem is I can't sleep straight away after the last night. You have a lonely pint and watch blur documentaries, we know this. Wow, last night I had a, I tried to have a glass of red wine but I was just too tired. I thought what's this doing? What's the point? What's the BBC and we had, um, I tried to have a chat, but I just didn't have anything to offer. I've got nothing to say to people. You've been there all week sorting out that show. The last thing you need to do is talk to them about the show again.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I hate watching the show back and talking about the show. I don't know people you on the ass, I'm off home. Yeah, well that's the problem with the BBC isn't it? Slap you on the ass, they have tried to eradicate that from the building, but it's something still goes on. Trasks down, slap me on the ass, see you next week. But you've been a bit tired. Yeah, got to say that Rob. Because last time you had a breakthrough, go on talk about the breakthrough. So I told you last week about him listening to a kind of musicalised nursery rhymes, like
Starting point is 00:05:31 little musical nursery rhymes on Spotify. Yeah. It is like absolute. It's like giving him a valium, it knocks him out Rob. Really? So he goes back out now. You know he was waking up at five to feed and then not going back to sleep? Yep. Pop on a nursery rhyme. He's going back down till 20 past 6 this morning, Rob. 20 past fucking 6? Did he sound like a fucking student getting up at 20 past 6? You're big lazy lay about bloody else. What about... You're a big swampy over it. Yeah, no wonder I've got dirty knees, never out of bed.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I've got, there's not, there's not like an ethical earth campaigner that you could take the piss out of now, like swampy was allowed to because she's got up and about, because she's quite, she's got up and about up get up and go hasn't she? You can shove your climate change up your ass. You can shove your climate change up your ass. I love that. That was fun wouldn't it? Do you know what my son would probably go to sleep if he heard that? Would love that get Greta in for a life performance. Does she do PAs? She's got her own money somehow? The only problem is you book her, but it takes her six months to get her because she's sales. So you got up at half six.
Starting point is 00:06:50 So your breakthrough is that your child wakes up at 6.20 now? It's insane. I don't think that's as great as you think it is. Okay, all right, that's fine then. It does what you think. Because in my head. There's there's there's there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, tho, thathea, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So. So. So head... There's people without children listening to this, Josh. And you sound mad. That's why they're listening to us.
Starting point is 00:07:09 You sound insane. You're buzzing off getting up at 6.20 a.m. After, already be woken up at 5. But, yeah, exactly. So I got up at 6.20. Yeah. I said to Rose, I'll go back to bed because she's been up since 5. She got up feeding at 5. I said I'll do 45 minutes Let you have a bit of a lion and then I'll go back to bed until the podcast. Okay. So I did that also another huge breakthrough Rob. Go on. And this is this is quite emotional Rob. All right. We've got to the point now. It's just child too.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah. We've got to the point where we're losing items they're no longer being needed. We're retiring items forever. Oh, okay. I get, so what's gone? The bounce chair, the little bounce chair you put them in, RIP. So what if you got, so you're're ruling out a third completely? Yeah I am, oh well I'll have to buy another bounce chair. That's good that's going to be the real low moment isn't it? That you're celebrating the retirement. My problem is, Rose is publicly and I think she's
Starting point is 00:08:13 ruling out a third, but she is being resisted. Publicly? Like what she's like something to run to me? To me? To me? Futsie- Futsy, Futsy, Futsy, Futsy, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, Futs, their, their, their, their, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, that's, that's, that's, that's, their, that's, that's, that's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their th. th. tho. that's thoo. that's that's thooo. that's thooo. That's that's their, their, their, th. That's taking it to the board and she spoke to the shareholders and she's ruling it out. I'm worried there's a rogue trader going on here, Rob. But I think there could be. She's resistant to getting rid of the bounce chair. I said, should we just put it on the street now? Let's just fucking do it. Oh, also you want to like fully get rid of the bounce chair, things are moving forward. But she's resistant to the bounce chair, comes. I mean, she said she wasn't emotionally ready to get rid of the bounce chair.
Starting point is 00:08:53 What the fuck does that mean, Rob? What does that mean? I'll tell you what, the fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. the the fu. the fu. the fu. the fu. the fu. the fu. to to the fu. to to mean. to the to their to to their to to to to to to their to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bounce. She is. She is the bounce the bounce the bounce tho. the bounce chair. the bounce chair. tho. tho. thoooan. tooan. tooan sa. She is. She's. She's to to retire to bounce chair. It's the first sign. It's a red flag. There's no fucking way. She's too emotionally attached to a bounce chair. Josh, you know what it means. Josh, you know what it means. You don't need me to tell you. You know what it means. Well, I'll update you next week. I'm going to push to get rid of. I get that. Bounce chair. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. It's a symbol. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a to a to a to a to a to a to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a bounce. to a to a bounce. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha t's little baby clothes that who doesn't want to get rid of. I get that. Bounce chair and also we know Rose she loves to trade furniture. She needs space. She needs Nicknack room but that's being taken by bounce chair. She hates clutter. Why is she wants to keep the bounce chair? No she likes ordered clutter. Yeah but sheick-knack clutter, not plastic bounce chair. Yeah, exactly. And I agree.
Starting point is 00:09:49 But I'm just saying, why, if you don't need it and you're not having any more kids, why keep it? Why, Rob, let's, I can feel you're angry because of your dog. I'm not angry, I'm not angry, I'm not angry. Don't you dare accuse me of being angry? How can someone be angry when they've seen, you know, the sunset and rise in one day without sleeping? How can someone that's taken him the beauty of the earth?
Starting point is 00:10:16 You say, oh yeah, I've seen the stars in the middle of the night whilst picking up shit, I'm not angry. I'm just, I'm not angry. I'm just I'm enjoying life. I'm taking it all on my chin. Can I ask you a question? Do you need a bounce chair for your dog? Um, so anyway, I got up. I got up. Yeah, did the time. He's so he's gone into the high chair, which is just brilliant. Yes. I mean, you're going to enjoy this, but, um, you know he won't be put down. Yeah, or wouldn't. Yeah, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thean to to the thean. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to needs to be held, yep. He just needs to be out because he was teething. Yeah. Um, my back went, Rob, holding the fucking baby. I screamed in pain. How big's the baby? Dude, he's a normal sized baby, but it was, it was the repetition of carrying the baby. But you're losing weight in the moment, you're exercising, and he's putting on weight, but are you nearing each other's same weight? Yeah, I'm in the bounce chair. Roses going, Josh is wasting a weight, I'll pop him in the bounce chair next time he gets
Starting point is 00:11:13 anxious about a TV shot. And so you, but you back when, so what's, so what's, what's, what's the score? It's just quite painful? It's just quite painful. to, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.... It's, I, I, I, I, I, I. It's, I, I. It's, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, I. It's, it's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, I's, I's, I think it feels like it's getting better. But it really works. You've got a bad guy? It's not, yeah I have got a bad guy. You got a bad guy? A bad guy? A back man? No way. Yeah, he's great. Oh, mate, dear me, the back guys' deeds.
Starting point is 00:11:33 He's great. He visits your house. He does it, you have basically keep keep keep keep keep keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies, and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for.
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Starting point is 00:12:36 Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or a Nespresso bouti near you. So then I went back to bed at 8 this morning. And I, I'm not going to lie. I really considered, because I had enjoyed it so much. Everyone just have a quick shot if you're playing with Dr. Winnecum drinking goat. Because I've been really enjoying it. I toyed with putting the nursery rhymes on, because they are getting me off to sleep so well off. So now you're benefiting from the nursery rhymes on because they are getting me off to sleep so well. So you're also now you're benefiting from the nursery rhymes. Yeah, it's so pleasant to have the nursery rhymes on at night. So you're starting to listen to it? Well I didn't do it because I
Starting point is 00:13:12 thought it's a bit weird. It's like something you'd hear about Michael Jackson. Do you know what, yeah I invited around Haley Joel Odsmont. Yeah, Thomas Turguse, he was making him dress up in the this is England outfit, big bulky DMs on. Come on Tom, have a little way down here with old Joshie. Josh no I didn't do that. No I did feel it was weird. No I think that's okay. Okay good. That's fine. What's I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. thi. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to me me me me me me me me me me me. I'm to me me me. I'm to me. I'm to th. I don't. I don't. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I t. I tom. I tom. I tom. I tom. I tom. I tom. I tom. I to What's the normal I find weird when the kids go to school and in like I realize Mr. Tumble's been on for an hour. You know, what am I doing? My daughter's got into some non-kids. So on Halloween, yeah. Yeah, she wanted to watch a pump and being carved on TV, right? Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. So he put on a thing on a thing thing thing ax, H-A-X, right? Dave Hacks, yeah, okay? And he's just, he's like a dweb, but he does stuff like, shows you the best ways to do things.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Yeah. She's become fucking obsessed with Dave Hacks. Dave Hacks. So it'll be stuff like different ways of cutting an apple or trying these kitchen equipment or how to build a little boat out of, you know, what are they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's???? they's? they's? they's? they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they??.? they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the are the are theateat thee' are theat theeee' theat thee' theee. the. the. the. theyrying these kitchen equipment or how to build a little boat out of you know what are they called lolly sticks and stuff. Kitchen gadgets are always how to cut a hot dog? Yeah watch like watch 30 seconds of Dave Hacks now wrong. Okay right and this is what my daughter is watching for two hours a day. Okay oh he's a nice little nerd he yeah he's very gentle isn't he, so she's obsessed with this. It's very kids TV, though, he's got the little jingly jangly music. I'm quite enjoying, I've never seen a potato be undressed that quick. No, it's amazing. He's very good of what he does. Actually, you want a potato pill, Dave Hacks. the other day we finished a packet of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's th. It's th. It's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's th. It, he's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's got thin. It's got thin. It's got thin. It's got thin. It's got thin. It's got thin. It's got the the thi. It's got thi. It's got thi. she said, Dave Hacks wouldn't throw that away. He'd use that for something.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Would he? Okay, she does like Dave Hacks. She's become obsessed with like, yeah, she loves Dave Hacks. No, no, they're watching, the most adulty things. The most adulty they like is sort of Simpsons. Not really any sort of YouTube. Amazon Fire tablet things which I hate I can't work them I prefer them to have Apple but they're cheaper and they keep breaking them. What is that funny? Just I hate them but they are cheaper so I hate them I can't work but they're cheaper. Yeah I love to give Dave I'll see if my kids are Dave Hacks. We'll try and get him on. I mean it's a very weird thing. I think she's I th. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. if my kids are Dave Hacks. We'll try and get him on. I mean, it's a very weird thing. I think she might be quite an eccentric child.
Starting point is 00:15:46 If she stays into Dave Hacks when she gets to school, it's going to cause all kinds of problems. He's got six million YouTube followers. He's doing well. Yeah, he's a millionaire. He's a millionaire. Dave Hacks. I watched this morning at half six with her. I watched a thrown from the the gym cafe she wanted a shrubby milkshake I didn't realize I brought her a super boost protein shake. Oh my wife. She's gonna be a hench by next week. She's absolutely I'll do my back out picking her up next week. Just picking up a little strong world strongest woman. How's your week been Rob? Yeah do know what? It's got a lot better with a dog. It is hard. A few things, and basically, the shift pattern we're on at the moment, Josh, right? It's got better. Last night was really good.
Starting point is 00:16:32 But essentially, we put the dog in his little crate about 11. Now he doesn't cry going in. He used every hour and a half, two hours crying. I took him out for a wee, did a wee, went back and he went asleep. Two hours later, and I was doing the night time, so I was getting up about 1 a.m., 3 a. and about 5 a thrown and then Lou would get up about half-five. For the day, with the bed and then now I'm doing the mornings and Lou's doing the night but last night the dog didn't even wake up well didn't even wake up I woke up once at 3 a.m. for a wee and that was it and then he woke up when the kids woke up in the morning and that's only after how do you train them through the night just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just so so so. they they'll just how how how how do. they'll just. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're their. they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their bladder gets bigger they literally can hold the wee. So they can hold the wool to they won't ever want to we in their crate because it's where they
Starting point is 00:17:26 sleep and they like, they don't want to be, they're not dirty like that. So they'll be, do they whine? right, the geys are out of Police Academy. But yeah, so that's good, right? So that's fine, but, and now I'm sort of doing the mornings with we're shifting up. So actually it's not as bad as it was. Lou actually told me off after listening to the last week's episode, for slagging off the dog and making people think that we that we that that that that that that that that that think that think that think that that that think thinks that you aware that I've slagged off our kids for two years on this podcast? But the dog's the line apparently so I was like okay that's fine but I've not I've spoke about the dog the same way I've spoken about. The dog's never going to listen to this when it's
Starting point is 00:18:14 grown up and need therapy. We never know what we don't know we can't say that for certain. In the metaverse, old Freddy will be going, he'll be in therapy, he'll be in dog therapy, talking about the time that his dad slagged him off. One thing annoying about the dog, Josh, because I want to do loads of Instagrams of other people because you've heard enough from us the last couple weeks. I've worked out the Whippet, classically a working-class Northern dog, in South London, in certain parts, it's a hipster dog. So now I'm having hipsters come up to me saying like, cool dog yeah, and I want to kill them. Oh no, Rob. And I actually... There's always a space for you in Hackney,
Starting point is 00:18:59 mate. If you want to come and see us all in Hackney. I wouldn't meet my mate. And we're a little bit halfisham, right? And we're a little bit half-hips to half-not, my mates, to be fair. Because they're from South London, and then we were quite excited when it got a bit gentrified and the new stuff come in, but then it got to the point where, even when I was on the telloth. I couldn't afford. I couldn't afford... I'm afa. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to afforded. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe. to toe, to-a, to-s, to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-a, to-s. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooe. toe. their. toe. their-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s. the-s. to-s. to-s hipstery couple absolutely fine they'll come in with a coat on even though it was indoors like a jumper and also you know them little sort of lamb rugs that you get from IKEA those little not actually lamb they're fake fur but look like big furry white polar bear type rug things right a little one of them from ikea put on the floor of the pub for the dog to lie to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the dog a to to to the to the to the to to the to to the to to to to the to the the the the the to the to the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too too too too too too too too too too too too then. then. thea. the the the the the the pub for the dog to lie on. Oh my word. And I like my dog, right? But I'm not a dog.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Some people treat the dog like a child. I'm very much, I treat this dog a bit like a pissed up stag on a stag do. Yeah, yeah. And I come down and says like, you're all right. that's my attitude. Not, oh, my, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I, I, I'm. Oh, I'm. Oh, I tho. Oh, I'm. toda. I'm. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tod. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I tree. I, I, I tree. I'm. I tree. I tree. I treate. I treate. I treate. treate. treat treat treat treat treat treat treat treat treat treat and I don't feel like I'm alone. That's what I want a dog for. Is that fair? Right? Yeah, I think that's fair. But these people treated this dog like a baby.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And then I was chatting about a dog and I was pissed and I was like, yeah, the nice little dogs, isn't they? And then I was half, I'm they're a, and I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, and, and, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, t............................................................... t............... t... t. t. t. t. they, t. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, t much. And they looked at me with actual disgust. But I just because I think it's their sort of special little dog but I'm a bit annoyed. Are you are you getting a whip it is that gonna adversely affect the reputation of whipets? Look I've got a feeling whipsters whipsters whipsters. That's what they'll call a whister. Shit! I'm a look look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look, I'm a th. I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I, I, I, I've their, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I' their, I's a their, I's a their, I' their, I' th, I' th, I' th, I' th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'm a th. I'm th. th. thi, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. I'm the. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'll th what they'll call them, call them whisters. They'll be called whisters. You're a whipster mate. Shit! I'm a, look, let me be though. But I think Lou is more of a whipster than you are on.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Lou's more of a whipster than me. I'm just there by proxy. What I'm saying here is, when the bucket out. I'm not bringing back the whip here. I'm doing it on my owner called and don't, don't drag me down with the hipsters. No, that's all I don't know. I think it's two separate areas of whip it. I'm gonna keep my eyes out for whipsters in Hackney because obviously you'd think, yes. You'd think this was an absolute haven of whipsers. There are, look. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I's that's th-I's that's that's thi, I's all, I's all, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm all, I'm all, I'm th. I's all, I's all, I's all, I's all, I's th. I's all, I's all, I's all, I's all, I th. I th. I, I's all, I, I's all, I's all, I's all, I's all, I's th. I's th. I's th. I's all all all, I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm that-I's all all tha. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I'm tha'a'a'a, I'm tha, I, trust me, once you see him, hipsters with whippets, there's whipsters all over the gaff. Do you know what? Any whipster photos, please send them in, if you see any whipsters? My friend, my friend Magalie, she's a whipster.
Starting point is 00:21:29 She is the aunt of the sexy skateboarder. Oh, right, okay, yeah, ma'a'a'a'a'a, okay, okay, okay, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the it in their defense are skinny and do need jumpers and sometimes coats because they've got really thin, thin skin takes and cuttons them. This is Rob telling me that he's bought his dog a jumper. I haven't Lou as but I do get cold. I refuse to put the jumper on the dog but Lou sometimes died. How easy is it to put a jumper on a dog? Do they care? Do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. th. th. th th. th are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th is th is the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the are the up or do you have to put it over the head like a child? It's all different combo. Some's got a bit elastic and sometimes I just bite it off. Sometimes you lose a leg in and sometimes a whip out a leg. She's got like a roll-neck jump with his dog looks like a fucking fisherman. Ridiculous. But anyway, there's keep your eye out for whipsers, but I'm a bit worried about being a whixt. But parenting wise, one one th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi, thi, their their their their, and then, and then, their their their, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, their their their their their their their their their's their's their's their-a, I's their-a, their-a, their-a, their their their their they's they's they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a little, they's a little, their-a, their-a, thing that's annoying about the dog is the kids always want the dog on the lap, but their lap's a bit too small, so the dog always comes and sits on my lap. And then they go, but I want dog in my lap, I don't, I'm like, it's not, I can't, I can't, it's not a toy, I can't make the dog, I can't make the dog. And then, what, what the, and what the, and what the, and what the, and what the, and what, and what the, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, and, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, I. Oh, the. Oh, I. Oh, the. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, th. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, th. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, the. Oh, that then the whip it then sits on the next. Yeah, yeah. Also I don't even call the dog by its name, we just call it the dog.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Is that bad? Well, you are using his name here, Freddie. It's not like with your kids. It's not like you've got a guy's. Yeah, I know. I like the dog. I to try and, I the. I'm. the. the. to the. I'm. the. I'm. the. to. the. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I...........................................................................................................time is 3 a.m. picking up at shit it's a tough bonding session. Exactly. But I do love having the dog and I really like the dog but like some people really love their dog but I don't I thought I don't love
Starting point is 00:23:14 the dog. I love having the dog but like I felt guilty the other night was talking about like it's so nice we have a dog they're so friendly you get home we went went to the pub and when he got back he sent a text to the WhatsApp group and, yeah this is my dog and look how lovely she is and he stroking and sent a video her strok in her stoker. I was in bed and I realized I didn't even say hello to the dog. I just went straight to bed. That's all right Rob. It's all right. th. th. this. th. this. th. th. this. Rob. this. this is this is all right. this is this is all right. this is this is all this is all right. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is my this is my this is my this is this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my this is my th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. They're too cool to say they love their dogs. Yes, exactly. And I'm around with the dog all day. They're too bloody post-modern and ironic to love the dog. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:23:50 So I love, I love, I love spending time with the dog, but I love, I love to sloving it as like a child. You know, I'm not in love love love love love love love love love love love love. I love. I lovethink I'll get there. Good. Yeah, is that fair? That's good. And I look forward to tracking your journey with the dog and your inevitable second and third dogs. Do you love your cat? No. Let's do some correspondence. Ha ha ha ha ha! Right, okay, let's do some, I've got some brilliant Instagram messages. Yeah, right, hit me with your Instagram. I like hearing from the listeners, I've been blabbering on about his fucking dog too much.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Okay, Josh, you remember the fast forward, on the fucking dog too much? Okay, Josh, you know, the name for the fast forward, to fast forward up to speed? What do you call it in your house? Well, Rob, sorry, just as an aside, sorry, it's just reminded of something of how little time I have in my evening. So this is how little time we have to watch TV in the evening, sorry. We've try to watch a documentary about Shug Night. Do you know what Yes the hip-hop producer that's now in prison. Spoiler alert. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what? We've done two nights and we're only two-thirds of the way through it Rob. It's an hour and a half. We don't have time to fucking fast-fall through adverts. We only get to sit down for half an hour a night before we're going to fucking bed. But I spent too long trying to pick. to watch their thage. I their their thick. I thick. I thick. thee thee thee thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thro thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. to. to. to. to to to to. to to too. to. toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. this morning? Five a. What? Danny Dyer and Danny Dyer, celebrity
Starting point is 00:25:26 auction house, wherever it's called Antiques Roadtrip? Road trip, that's it, and they get a classic car and it's Danny Dyer, Big Danny Dyer, the little Danny Dyer. Yeah, oh wow. How did Did you find that or was it just on? Do you know it was? I just felt like such a sheep. I went to catch up on Skyplast it was the first thing they suggested. Oh my, pathetic little robot boy. Little sheeple. Spoon fed. Spoonfed entertainment come too tired and weak. I didn't even watch it. I start playing FIFA from my switch. I don't think we've got a word for skipping advert, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to start implementing the best one that we hear on this podcast. Okay, I've got some options. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Hi Rob and Josh and Mikey Boy. I had a message in a long-time listener and love on the podcast. Zero sprogs but one dog. Just listen to the latest episode. the thanks. Have you got any juice? I'm 22 still living with my dad. His biggest issue in life is sitting through adverts. We say, is there any in the bag? Oh that's nice. And if the answer is no, he will sit and repeatedly chant, dead time, dead time, dead time,
Starting point is 00:26:34 dead time, until I've changed the channel so the advert torture ends. Dead time, wow. Yeah, I think that's a sort of like almost like going you need to make sure that we start this later or get some juice in the bag. That's something in the bag. And thank you just from a media. Thank you so much for the amazing content to keep us going through lockdown. I tell all my childless friends to listen. Best form of contraception. Okay that was immediate. We've the juice. We the the the the the the the the juice. We the the juice. We the the juice. We the juice. We got some some some some some. We got some. We got some some. We got some some. We got some. We got some some. We got some. We got some. We got some the the the the juice. We got some. We got some some. We've th. We got some th. We got some some some th. We the juice. We the juice. We the juice. We th. We the juice. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. Yeah. Yeah. We th. Yeah. Yeah. We th. Yeah. Yeah. We th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We the juice. Yeah. the juice. the juice. the juice. the juice. the juice. the juice. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the the the. the the the juice. the juice. the juice. the juice. the thing my mommy says my sorry my little girl says mommy can you do the magic oh do the magic's good I did the magic yeah should we do the magic should we do the magic you can't say that to Rose at nine at night Josh no it's not again or maybe we've kept the bouncer I'd prefer to buy a new bouncer I'm to a try to to the bouncer I'm not going to need one I cannot wait right this I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to the the to to the the the the the the to the the the to to the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the the the to the to the the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the to to the to the to and for a year believe that I'm not going to need one I cannot wait write this down what time is
Starting point is 00:27:29 November 13th 2021 and then I'm gonna find this and then reply it back to you when you buy that second bouncer for your fifth kid I remind you with the money you wasted they're expensive kids, mate. They're expensive. Hey, it's a joke. I was catching up with a pod in the van on my way to work and I heard Rob and Lou used the term juice when you have to do some fast forward in.
Starting point is 00:27:54 The term me and my girlfriend used for some unknown reason is pausiness. I find that a bit cutesy-sie-niss. Oh, I find that a that a that a that a bit that a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that a bit that that a bit cutesy for my taste. I have no idea where it came from, but we know exactly what the other is referring to when we say, babe, have you got any pausiness? That must have been implemented in the early stages of their relationship. Yeah, I can't deal with that. I couldn't deal with the aawce-nus.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Do you want some more Instagram messages? Josh Josh is limp. This is from Trout and Jenny. I've just listened to the episode where Josh stayed in Exeter by himself and dropped an A bottle of wine on his foot. Yeah, he then said he was filming for something and he was trying not to limp Yeah, I need to know what was he filming was it? Was it who do you think you are? It was? Can you see the limp? Yes, I also she said as when I was watching it he appeared to be walking with a limp and I actually googled, is Josh Ridicum disabled? Oh, for God's sake, that's going to help with the SEO. Maybe that's why he's on the last leg. No, I'm not saying. But yeah, that was, and do you know what, when I watched it back? It's a funny walk. I watched that and I thought, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatthought that was. That first day when I had to do the walking shots outside the school and you watch it and you're like, all I can remember is the pain of my foot.
Starting point is 00:29:16 What's psychological at the school or just in the foot? Exactly if I'm having no friends. Oh! It's hard having no friends when there's only six kids in a class. That is brutal. But yeah, I watched out and I thought, it that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I had th, I had th, I had th, I had th's only six kids in the class. That is brutal. But yeah, no, I watched it out and I thought, oh, he has got a funny little walk, anybody, but I just assume that's how you walked. No, mate. I walked, sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I walked like floating on air. It's elegant, pure elegance. Yeah, exactly. You strike me if somebody's quite like, sort of a to be thian to be to be thian to be to be tho tho thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thia'a'a' thia' thi., Rob. Ah, you're big slappy hobbit feet. When I was going through my period about... I thought you're getting chased by an torkewice. Yeah, exactly, of being obsessed with the Ben Johnson, the thinnigh's old Olympics final. I was reading a book about it.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's like, in that's that's that's, it's almost about not touching the ground. Do you know what I mean? It's like your feet are just kind of kissing the tarmac as you're running if that makes sense. Really? And it's, that is the opposite. That's the opposite. I went running the other day and it's like And then I got a text from my personal trainer who I go to occasionally,
Starting point is 00:30:25 yeah. So I keep the noise down, I'm trying to sleep. They'd driven past and they said, lift your feet up. Ah, no, why? Oh, that's brutal. Couldn't believe it. Lift your feet up. Oh, no. Well, because I met Dina Asher Smith. I think Britain's fastest woman ever, wasn't she? Yeah, she's great Dean of Asher Smith. And she was on Jonathan Ross show, and she walked into the room, and you know, like, you know when it's just like, me and you, we are sort of semi-born to be comedians? We look a bit funny, the way we just sit and the way, the way we just sit and the way, so she just walked in like every part of her body sort of moved in the right way and and she was like I didn't even know she was in the room she was just sort of like it was actually just
Starting point is 00:31:07 it was actually just floated in yeah and like a arms and a legs which all just like perfected these bodies are how perfectly fine tune they are. I remember, totally I filmed a thing for last leg where Hilsie had to race against Johnny Peacock the 100-meet runner and Hilsie's like he's a jock, do you know what I mean? He's a really sporty guy. Maybe to you. But he was a tennis coach like before he was a comedian. Oh, Hilsie, yeah again, that's not a joc joc joc j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j that's that's that's that's not a that's not a that's not a jock, that's not a jocke, that's not a jocke. That's not a jocke. That's not a jocke. That's not, that's not a that's not, that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a jocke. that's not a jocke, that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a joc, that's not a joc, that's not a joc, that's not a joc, that's not a jocker tennis coach is it? Just a rich boy with no outgones. Tennis coach is always like potter rich kids that are still living at mom and dad's massive house in Surrey. You know if that's actually started in tennis coaching? Yeah of course you have you fucking helmet. I don't know what it's like in Australia but yeah that's what
Starting point is 00:32:00 my I've discovered in Australia the tennis world. Look at- Come on, mate, and your fucking backhand. Get down the fucking wine. Come on, juice! Come on, your drongo, work on your serve! But he's, he's, he's alpha, Australian. But he's, he's alpha, Australian, he's just a tennis. Yeah, anyway, that's not him. Yeah, that's bit out. You know, Layton Hewitt, Pat Cash is the Australianese? He's Australian, isn't it? Anyway, that's how to hear him.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Yeah, I'm glad, mate, Pat Cash. Hils, he's quite sporty. That's the word I should have used. Sportier than you and Alex. Yeah. And he, uh, but the moment you saw him running next. I mean, because Johnny Pinkon's body is like a machine. It's like pistons. Do you know what I mean? It's just like astonishing. What this leads us to, Rob, wait, it wasn't leading us anywhere, but I'm gonna say it.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Email in, are you shit at running? Send us a video. I am terrible. I hate it so much. I am terrible at running. Oh, awful. video if you or your partner is really really shit at running. And what's the worst things anyone said to you when you've been running? Because that happened to me I was trying to do, I was running around my block just sort of build up a bit of like distance and stamina and I started off like running half of it
Starting point is 00:33:12 and walking and rest and I built up to like running the whole thing and I did two laps. I was doing it and one of my neighbors. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like I was like. I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was doing to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I was running th. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running. I was running a th. I was running a th. I was running a th. I was running a th. I was running a thrown. I was running a thrown. I was running a th. I was running a to to to to to to to th. I was like, that's no way to build my... Don't you come out here and go on better than you at this. You're shit, but if you come and be me. You're a beginner and Rob and you've been doing it 30 years. I hate running for 30 years and you're still a beginner. But I'll run, I'm all right, I'm fairly, I just don't, for me, running, I don't for me, running, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for me, for, for, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, for, th, for, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to a reason to run. Yeah. If I'm playing football, I'll run. Bus, run, physically attacked, run. And all these people that run marathons, right? I'd love to see the ratio of people going for divorces and running marathons. Because do you know what, it's quite easy to run for four hours when you hate your life. Isn't it? When you don't want to go home. I don't want to run for three to to to to to to to run to run to run to run to to run to to to run to to run to run to to to run to run to run to to run to run to run to run to to to run to to run to to to to to the the to run to run the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom. the thoom. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. throoooo shit I can totally understand why you're running from it. Do you know what I
Starting point is 00:34:05 did start doing a lot of running in lockdown because it was just the time on my own but maybe I'm just because I can't run I'm getting rid of it I'm getting rid of it I'm getting rid of running I'm getting to this yeah yeah I know keep the togging togue to to the to the to to the the the the to try the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I they I they. Keep keep keep the the the to to the they. they. Keep they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try I I I I I try you try. try. try. try. try. try. try. time. try. time. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. I try. people that make me feel better about my running. Yeah, okay, if you write bad at running, send it to Josh. You'll like to see that. Tag a scene on Instagram or something. I've got an email. I've got an email for you, Rob. Oh, hello, go on them. Hi, Josh stroke Rob. My husband stroke. that youthe way to work. Oh my God. What was that your belly? That was a firework. A firework? It's 1041 in the morning!
Starting point is 00:34:50 Oh my God Hackney, what is happening Josh? As a dog owner, it's actually unacceptable how long fire went up goes on for. Okay? It starts about bloody mid-Octur but goes on to December. We get it. My husband listens to you every morning on the way to work. He kept saying how much I would love your podcast, and I'm starting from the beginning. Just listen to the episode with Ellie Taylor, the first one, with the breastfeeding story.
Starting point is 00:35:15 I also had breastfeeding support. Sadly, no Elmo in sight. Instead, the health visitor used my husband on her own boob. Well, hang on, she got her, the lady who's emailed in got, was her husband had to suckle from the instructors tear. She was dressed of course but it was most traumatic moment of his life. Hearing I say nose to nipple, they smell the milk and open their mouth. He he had had the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. He had their. He had their. He had to have their. He had their. Hea. Hea. Hea. their. their. their. their. Hea. their. their. Heauiheaughe. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Heaue. Heae. Heae. Heae. Heae. Heae. Heae. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the milk and open their mouth. He had to do that on the person teaching? No, the person teaching had to demonstrate with him as the baby. Oh, so he was to be in the baby onto his wife's breast. No, onto the health workers' breast. That's not except, that's a matter for the police. Even him on his own wife, there needs to be a level of consent
Starting point is 00:36:06 from the wife there for that and from the man, but to force a man to put his nose and mouth on the health workers' breasts, that cannot be okay. No. Hearing her say, nose to nipple, they smell the milk and open their mouth, I can picture so clearly, with my husband looking at me, with sheer horror in his eyes, laid on a pillow which she'd put on her lap, his nose touching her ginormous boobs, whilst she cradled him like a baby. That is the most disgusting thing I've ever. And why had he's that bloke taken that?
Starting point is 00:36:37 This gets better, Rob. If you don't think this is already this is this is this is this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already this is already a sitcom moment. To make matters worse, a family friend of ours was renovating our kitchen at the time. The door from the kitchen to the lounge was shut, but he heard everything. Once she left, he came out and said, what the fuck happened in here? Needless to say, that was the end of our breastfeeding journey. My husband has no idea I'm sending this, but he never misses an episode. And then she's this th th this this th this this th this this this th this thi this this is this is this is thi this is this is this is thi this is thi this is thi this is this is thi. thi. this is this is this is thi. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is this is th. I is th. I is this is this is th. I is this is th. I is this is this is th. I is this is this is th. I th. I this is th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thin. I th. I thin. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. this is a this is. this is a this is but he never misses an episode. And then she's added, please say hi to Scott from Tuwamba, Australia. I don't know if that is her husband, who's Scott. Scott or if that just getting a joke.
Starting point is 00:37:13 From Tuamber Australia, I don't know if she's just getting a shot. I think from that. All right there, Scott, that's the niple, mouth open. Let's that's that's that's that's thau, that's th. that's th. th. th. th. that's they. that's that's that's they. that's that's, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's the the the the the the the the. that. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's go suckle me dry boy wow god that's not okay that's against the law well I don't know what it's like in Australia but I'd say it would be so to be fair they do they don't serve pints schooners so they may be okay there exactly there they're a strange place a strange place Australia right do you want some more Instagrams? Here we go. All this is a great one. Just want to say thank you for creating this podcast. I started
Starting point is 00:37:51 listening in October last year and I found out my partner's Preggars. He's now four and a half months old and content, and this content, sorry, helps massively since he sleeps less than I did at 21 in someone's kitchen. I drove from Luffbra to Sussex last night and the Stephen Mangan episodemanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmann. And th. And th. And th. I. I. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's this content. I's this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this content, this this this this this this this this this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, th. th. th. th. th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I' is, I' is, I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've this, I've this, I've this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this in someone's kitchen. I drove from Loughborough to Sussex last night and the Stephen Mangan episode made me laugh so much I had to pull over due to tears in my eyes. Wow thank you. Police pulled up behind me and asked me to explain why I was on the hard shoulder. What? And then they said what seems to be the issue sir? He saidthis Parenting Health podcast made me laugh too much, and I could no longer drive or be safe for other drivers. Oh, my work.
Starting point is 00:38:29 He went, yeah, all right, Powell. And he wanted to run some checks, took his details, and made him to a breathalyzer. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. And that trauma. That's funny Nick. I love that. That is amazing, thank you. Okay, hi guys, this is from Juleba. Hi guys, I just listened to Rob talking about the racket that is the school photos business and had to
Starting point is 00:38:54 let you know how my kids school have taken even further. This is the cost of all the school. You have to get stupid mugged mugs, you can't get th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. thin, thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thrown, thr. throoooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. has started reception joining his older brother in the same school. Finally I thought I can get the sibling photo and pay out only once for the grandparent photo bundle. His nursery did photos too but now I can get one sibling photo at the school they are both at. I even went so far as to prepare my eldest kick by offering a bribe as he usually refuses to be in photos with his brother. So the bribe was offered, he said yes, sent him off to school hoping they could do the sibling photo. All sorted. Oh no, despite the class is no longer being bubbles, playground mixing is okay, and year six acting as reading buddies to the reception class, we received an email stating they would not be allowing sibling photos because if you guessed it, COVID.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Oh my word, come on now, come on now. Their siblings are in the same house! Unbelievable. Dirty bastards. That is unbelievable. Scum. Look at them. That's got to be some sort of like racket with the photographer in the school. Yeah, just say because of COVID. Yeah, assholes. Well, I've got, I, we can't put these photographer in the school. Yeah just say because of COVID ourselves. Well I've got I can't put these on her Instagram because it's a photo of a friend's child. So I'm going to show you what I have a friend, my
Starting point is 00:40:12 friend, well it's Pearl's friend she had her first school photo right? Yeah so I'm going to show you what she looks like so you get a feeling for... So we can't we can't put this up to someone's child. But I just I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I actually someone's child, but I just want to hear your reaction to the school photo. So this is her with Pearl, she's in the pink, so that's what she's in the pink, yeah. Oh, yeah, very pretty blonde girl. Yeah. So this is what was returned from the school as her school photo. Oh fuck off. That's that's... that's... I mean that is... just tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak tak to tak to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the school. the school. the school the school the school the school, the school the school to to to to to to to to the school. to to the school. the the the the the that's, I mean that is, just take a second photo. It's unacceptably, it's an unacceptably bad photo of that child. Okay, right, let this is what the look of the child. Okay, this is, we can't show this because it's your friend and they don't want their child on the internet, which is fair enough. However, if you have a similar before and after photo, a beautiful photo of your, a beautiful photo of your child of what they look like normally and then what the school took and try to charge your 30 quid for, please send
Starting point is 00:41:12 them in if you're happy for us to put them on the Instagram page and we'll put the best ones up because that, I think, you need to go to some sort sort or human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human human, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their child, their child, their child, their child, their child, their child, their child, their child, their child, to to to to to to to to to to to to's going to psychologically damage a kid if that's her school photo. Because it's like gaslighting her. That's, she doesn't look like that. No, she doesn't, she doesn't have a double chin at the age of five. No, it's because she's gone backwards because she's probably felt a bit awkward and her chin's gone down, her teeth have come all out, and she's not quite open her eyes. She's done a smile tip tip the to smile to smile to smile to smile to smile the the the's the's the's the's the's the's the's not the's not the's not thief thief thief the's not the's not tho tho the. She's not that's not tho' that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that she's not that she doesn't she doesn't she doesn't she doesn't she doesn't she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not the. She's not thease. She's not theath. She's not theathea. She's not thoes. She's not tipeateathea. She's not quite tipeateathea. She's not quite tipeateathea. She's not thooes. She's not theeateeathea. She's not. She's done a smile which a lot of kids do at this stage like you know that episode of Friends where Chandler can't smile on a photo? Yes it's our hostage photo. Yeah, it's our good one on Friday as well Rob because it's Paris Fury. Six kids. Yes six kids. Six kids. Off the back of Sophia Lys Baxter. We're doing 11 kids in two episodes. And I'll do the kids in tho FIps. And it's a good. And it's a good th. And it's a good th. And it's a good th. And it's a good th. And it's a good th. And it's a good th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the th. the the th. the the th. their the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. their. Lys Baxter, we're doing 11 kids in two episodes.
Starting point is 00:42:06 11 kids in two Epps. Right, yeah, we've got Paris Fury on Friday. Here's my small business shout out, Josh. Hi Rob and Josh, I've been an avid listener since day one. I have two kids, Holly 8 and Harry 13, and your podcast. I only wish you made more. I own a small business clehrs, tha, tha, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooitchens. If you could give me a small business shout out, that'd be amazing. I started the business three years ago with just myself but decided to grow it and since March 2021 I have taken on six part-time employees. Well done. Congratulations. That's amazing. I love stories like that going out on your own,
Starting point is 00:42:40 taking a risk for paying off. We are called Shiny and New Cleaning Services and we are based in Bolton. We do house cleaning, office cleaning and pretty much any premises cleaning. Our website is www. Shiny and new Cleaning Services. Thank you so much keep up the good work. That's a long old website. If I can give you some advice, get an Instagram page up, do before and after oven cleaning, hob cleaning, toilet cleaning, whatever is your cleaning that's dirty. Show it dirty, show it's clean so people can see you working because people go, oh I live in Bolton, I've got a great cleaner, what are they called? Shiny a new cleaning service, this is their Instagram.
Starting point is 00:43:17 They'll find you on it and they'll book you through it. So so. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. tho, thi. So, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, they. they. they. they. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thea. thean are two sisters, Sam and Max and we created a small business in lockdown making handmade, vegan non-toxic candles. These candles are insane, they're so good. In beautiful unique designs. We donate a percentage of our profit each month to a charity supporting women. It is called Beatrice's Bedroom because that was our band name when we were teenagers. Ah. That is at, this is on Instagram, Beatrice's, B-E-A-T-R-I-C-E-S, underscore bedroom. That's bedroom. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:43:54 And these are superb looking candles. If you like candles, which I'm not going to lie to you, you won't be surprised to know. My wife does. She loves a candle. She loves a candle. We will be back on Friday with Paris Fury. It's an absolute cracker. Oh, it's brilliant, isn't it? Enjoy it!
Starting point is 00:44:11 Bye.

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