Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP4: Ellie Taylor (The Return)
Episode Date: July 23, 2021ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S PARENTING HELLS03 EP4: Ellie Taylor (The Return)Joining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, a...ctor, presenter and writer - Ellie Taylor. Since her last appearance on the show Ellie has upped and left London for what she describes as 'the suburbs'....we're not convinced. If you've got deer in your garden and a badger problem, that's got to be the countryside, surely?! Ellie's fantastic new book 'My Child and Other Mistakes: How to ruin your life in the best way possible' is available now wherever you buy your books. We can't recommend it highly enough. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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and member terms apply hello I'm Rob Beckett I'm I'm Josh Willickham welcome
to parents in hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day
parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and of, of course, tales of the the the the the their their their their their their their their ta..... ta. A ta. A ta. A ta. A ta. A ta. A ta. A ta' ta' trials trials tria' tri-a' tri-a' tri-a' tri-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. tri-a. tri-a. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. ta-a-s. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. triuu. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie. they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,
tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...
Can you say Rob Beckett?
Rob Beckett. And Josh, Buddickham.
Widakim, something like that.
I think he was better at your name than mine, wasn't he?
Widdockham's a hard surname. It's a difficult one for the two and a half year olds.
It is, isn't it. But you know, who was that? Who was that giving it a good old welly? So that was, uh, Solomon, son of Ruth Andrews. I've been listening since day one. This is
my lovely little boy, Solomon, age two and a half. He gets Rob's name spot on, that's a bit
of trouble with Whitacum. Your fault for having an awkward surname, Josh. Anyway, ch that for sure? Soul?
That's Sol Campbell?
Yeah.
Or Soli?
Sol.
Sol.
I think you'd end up calling it.
Soul.
It's my accent.
And a name can really change on your accent, can't it?
Yeah.
I mean, some of the names.
Like Chelsea.
There's a girl being
Ch-Sk. Chels, chills, it's hard when it's a football team, more like Mercedes. What were the big names at your school when you're growing up, Rob?
Lot of jacks. Lot of jacks.
Lot of jacks. I went to school with a kid called Lawrence.
And we just called him Logs or Logs. And we just called him Logs.
Why do you call him Logs? I don't know. the nickname. It's just called a nickname. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Lot. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. th. th. th. thanks. thanks. thanks. thanks. thanks. thanks. thanks. thanks. th thanks. tha. th. th. th. Lots., but logs, yeah. Shout out to Logo, if you're listening. Did you have many nicknames at your school?
We didn't really do that many nicknames.
I was called Bex until David Beck have existed.
Oh, absolutely unbelievable.
No, no real nicknames really, apart from just like,
I think I mentioned before.
You actually, you and Lou, could be posh. Have I not thought of that joke before? Have you not thought of that before Rob? There we go.
I'm falling apart, I've got nothing left.
Josh, at some times, I'm excited.
There's a date in the diary for the big school dad's night out.
Oh, lock up your daughters.
Kind of that's a weird thing to say.
That's a really weird that is the worst, you know, the worst thing you could have
said, but you didn't mean it, so we'll just go over that.
But like lock up, lock up your bloody pint taps.
Yeah, too right.
Yeah, the pint.
Yeah, what are they called a pop? Fonds. What they're called? the. the. the't it? It's a tap. It's a tap.
What you got on draft.
That is what I've missed saying on a Spanish holiday.
Yeah. What you got on draft?
That is the best sentence of the holiday.
That's the most exciting part of a holiday.
I've really been craving a proper holiday,
because we've not in them because normally I don't know about you I go somewhere I try and pretend I'm cultured I want to visit places but I normally
find the bar I can go there every night that's kind of what I do and that
first day when you sit down in the sun you've just got there from the
airport maybe you're still in your traveling clothes and you're
sitting down you don't know what they've got on draft and then you have whatever they've got on draft. Oh Rob. You're so excited because you panic if they say John Smith's but if they say the local
Estrella you're absolutely hard. I want to be hard for a pint in the sun Josh. I'm very aware
that I've been speaking about not drinking in the last episode. Could you just describe the experience of having a pint. I enjoyed that so much.
Just describe the feeling of having a pint in the airport.
Here's a feeling, right? Okay, so you've got, you've got off, you've got in the hire car or the coach or whatever to your hotel or your hotel or your apartment or your villa, and then you dump your bags, you've either go straight out or you've had a shower or you've had a shower. I take it straight out or you've got out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. We've the shower. We've the shower. We've the shower. We've the shower. We've the shower. We've the the shower. We've the the the the the their. We've got their. We've their. We've their their their the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the've jumped in the pool of the kids because they're all hot and sweaty, and then you go back and have a quick shower, and then you're going
out because it's evening time now, and you sit down at a bar and have a drink before you
go out for dinner, and you sit down there and you say, what's on draft and you're wearing your brand new flip-flops, your new t-shirt? That's a t....... It's-what, it-what, it's-what, it's-what, it's-a-o-a-o-o-a-a-o-o-s. Yeah, it's-s. th-a-s. th-s. th-a-a-a-s. th-a-a-a-a-a-s. th-s. th-s. th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, and th.... th-a-a, and th-a-a, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, tha-s, tha-s, tha-s. And tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. And tha-s. And t-shirt? It's just a little Adidas one. And I've got for a white one because it's going to be really hot.
And I don't normally like wearing white in the UK because I've got milky fat tits.
But in the holidays I'm happy to forgive myself.
Why not?
Just to be cool.
You know, you sit there and say what's on draft draft. and they bring out a big cold, tankered pint glass that's been in a freezing.
You're not like a tanked one with the hand, you're not actually touching the cold bit,
you're keeping it cold and it's out of a freezer and it all goes cold and that misty on the outside.
And the Spanish weight goes, grande, granday, English, granday, you go, yeah,
at this point in time, I'll love that stereotype. Give me a big, frothy bastard pint of beer,
and I'm gonna down it in one.
Actually, order me two, I'm down in the first one,
I'll sit the second, on a fucking holiday.
That's where I'm at Josh.
Oh, mate.
Oh, can you imagine it?
Oh, God.
I hate COVID. And then also, then you sit there and you're and you're and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'm, the, the, the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, the, I's, the........... the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too, to. too. too. too. too. the the too. the the the the, because there's a little playground outside the bar.
And then what happens is you sit there, they play for ages, you give them some euros to get
a little toy out the machine, they keep running backwards and forward.
Then an entertainer turns up and entertains them for an hour doing some sort of shit song.
You sit there, you get off cut, and then you slowly wander over to the play over the play over the play over the play over the play over the play over the play over the play over the play over the pissed because you get it in the Edbuff swing. That's the holiday I want.
And when will you have that?
2020.
Oh, fuck no, mate.
Well, I'm supposed to be going to Dubai for a gig in October at the plant.
Yeah, that sounds like, that's what you're looking forward to, your life is shit.
When you're going on holiday with your family, I'm doing a gig in Dubai.
Not the same thing.
Not the same thing.
Even then also drinking in Dubai is always a bit stressful because it's not allowed but it
is in a hotel, isn't it?
A bit panicky.
I've been toying with never drinking again.
And I think that's probably quite a good point of view of mental health-wise and two pints in. And we haven't th th thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th and we th and we've th and we've th and we've thin th and we've th and we've th and th and th and th and th and th and thin and thi and thin and th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and th. And then, and then, and then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, thin then, then, then, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, than, th. And, th. And, thean, thean, thean, thin, then, then, then, then, then, then, then evening and sat in a bar right two pints in and we haven't
planned this but you're in the local area and you just walk in and go back here and I'm like
do you want a beer and you're like yeah I haven't got to be home for an hour imagine that
moment's sober oh but two points in it's the greatest moment ever i'm gonna say judging by the last
five minutes of this podcast yeah the not drinking thing i don't th. th th th th th th th th th you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you've th you've th you've th you've th you've th. th. th. the th. I thi thi thi thi the the th. th. th. th. I'm thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the last five minutes of this podcast, the not drinking thing, I don't think you're there yet.
No, I don't eat.
I don't think you've made your piece with it.
I haven't.
Let's just keep the bucket hat, don't put it in the National Museum yet, the National Football
Museum, yeah.
I don't know what my bucket night out. Dad's night out. Because if you did that sober, that would be tough, wouldn't it, Robert?
You've got to have a couple of drinks
to meet new people with British.
We can't just be confident enough
to talk to new people, we don't know, exactly.
Let's have a look, let'stables at the local pub, which is basically the nearest pub to the school, because everyone's obviously local, from 630 p.m.
Bloody owl, some people are getting their kids in bed early, aren't they?
Well, I, well no, their partners will be at home, won't they?
Oh, yeah. Because the moms will be at home, because the moms are going out onthe week before and we're going out the week after. Oh my word. And we've got, we've got it from 6.30 p.m. for the whole night in the outdoor area under
the canopy.
What time you tund it up?
Catching up over drinks and dinner.
Mmm, dinner bit sounds like they're not boozeers, are they?
No, that is Rob, yeah. You, the first three minutes is the most important moment of the night because when you sit down that is where
you are now. There's no mingling. No, yeah, oh yes. I don't think we should have
to book tables. I think it should have just been stood up at a bar
chatty vibe because then you can meet. Yeah I think so. You don't need a sit-down dinner you're not Jesus and the disciples. Come on mate. What's the food gonna be? It's just pub fair. Pub. But yeah so I'm excited but
what was quite exciting with because a lot of these dads work like in office jobs
and have been working from home and stuff but they're so much better than
admin than me I got said they went okay well and they I got emailed a
a link that was like an availability check and this fucking spreadsheet like Svangali went,
oh everyone's available on this day and we all were.
Because we put all the information in.
They basically market researched the dads.
And now we're all going on a day that we can all make.
Do you think, Rob, that they're quite excited that you're there considering your careers on the up? Well I'm a bit worried, well yeah, the rebirth of me considering I wasn't a scrap
paper according to that bloke last episode.
I just really hope it's not a Excel spreadsheet dominated chat because I've got nothing on that.
Have they circulated the topics that we discussed in the spreadsheet?
I didn't even own a computer or Excel or Word until I got my book deal.
Is that true? Yeah. So how did you email? On my phone? You didn't own a computer? No.
So Lou had, Lou had a laptop which I used to use if I needed it? Blimey, Rob. I know. It's mad,
yeah. But now I've got a old one that didn't work from years. But that'll blow their minds. You should open with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the th. the th. their their their their their th. th. the. the. the. the. tho. the. tho. the. the. the. tho. tho. Blimey, Rob. I know. It's mad, isn't it?
Yeah.
But now I've got...
Do you know what?
That'll blow their minds.
You should open with that.
Ma'at.
that's all sorts.
I've got a PowerPoint.
to theyote.
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Right Josh, before we introduce Ellie Taylor, our returning guest who's
moved to the countryside, which is quite interesting for more space and as a parenting decision,
I think, I've got a couple more Instagram messages, do you want them? Hit me up. Okay, here we go. We will get back to emails, but my life is in flux.
I'm happy to take, take Instagrams on for a couple of weeks
where you survive for a child of acid refluxing.
Here we go, but, but, right.
Love the podcast, completely relatable for parents. This one, I don't know if they want us to know who to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to to to to the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, this one, I don't know if they want us to know who this is, another anonymous. When we went back to home schooling and they started doing zoom lessons, I hadn't realized
the kids had not muted it, which all parents, teachers and kids can hear.
Well, I had a busy morning, the kids had been fed and I got the last bourbon biscuit out
of the packet and was looking forward went to get my tea and my French bulldog ate my biscuit.
Oh my God.
Sleep deprived and starving, I lost my shit.
Absolutely lost my shit.
Rightfully or wrongfully, I shouted at the top of my voice and called the dog a greedy fat My kids, my kids looked at me in shock and shortly after a whole school was emailed,
a polite reminder that everyone can hear what people are saying in their house.
No.
The only thing that made me feel better was I was talking to the dog and not the kids,
but none of them know that. None of them know that. None of them know that. They think it's for the kids! He felt they were the kids! They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thin' thin' th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thtalking to the dog and not the kids but none of them know that. None of them know that they think it's for the kids! He felt they were talking to the kids.
They thought that's no. You greedy fat. I can really feel that's a real energetic delivery as well.
A bourbon as well not even one of the good biscuits. I know but that's all she had. Oh man alive. Here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here. Here here. Here here. Here here. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. I they's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I they's. I they's. I they're. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I they're they're they're they're that's all she had. That is all she had. Alive. Here's a good
one. This is about surprise pregnancy. Right? This is a good one Josh. On your subject
of undiagnosed pregnancies, a girl I knew was suffering from suspected appendicit
symptoms. She was 16 going on 17 and with a steady boyfriend. He took her to hospital
and they both got the surprise of their life when they were told she was in labour. The pregnancy has gone completely undiagnosed and with misperiards being dismissed by her
stress from school exams. I think she's in like doing A-levels. Fast in hospital giving birth
to their surprise baby. The girl's older sister who was pregnant, which was planned,
came, oh God, is that burglar a long then? Oh my god, that's the guy that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the guy putting the locks on the window. It's wrong.
Okay, I'll be quick. Could I just say also by the way to burglars? We're recording this Friday one.
When we're recording Tuesday one, he hasn't been doing that job for three days. I've never had to do an
appeal to burglars before. No. Oh God he's really got. Was he breaking in or breaking out the geyser? Is he locked him in? How good is the fact that the burglars can no longer get in now?
That's burglars trying to get out.
Try your best guys, we've got locks now you fucking losers.
Anyway, so, this woman who did, this girl didn't know she was pregnant, had the baby,
but on the exact same day, the girls older sister,
The girls, the girl, the girl, I forgot, right?
The girls older sister came in who was due to give birth,
and the two sisters gave birth to their babies
on the exact same day and they're both girls.
What are the odds?
That is insane.
Right, need just to say, they're in shock, lovely podcast.
Imagine that is so mad. Yeah, tha. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha, thuuuathing. thuathea, thuathea, thuathea, their thathea, thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th start. That is so mad. Yeah.
What about stealing thunder?
I know that's like proposing
to someone's wedding, isn't it?
I know!
Oh my God.
Anyway, Josh, I think we should wrap this up
before your burglar alarm goes in again.
Oh yeah, I'll just say, before we wrap up,
that the older sister is going to be livid because her babysitting opportunities have been halved instantly.
Oh God that is brutal.
You know that that does cause sibling rivalry.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Right, Josh we've got Ellie Taylor.
She's moved to the countryside in Essex from Cool London.
Love Ellie Taylor.
Also got, I'd say the best discussion we've ever had about our post-Cesarian shit.
Oh yeah, if you've had a baby and you're struggling with a big shit, this is a podcast for you.
And if you're not, it's still pretty good.
I would say, rule yourself out if you're not waiting for a shit after giving birth,
that really does narrow our audience.
But it really was a learning experience for me and Rob, which I think we all enjoyed. Enjoy guys.
Ellie Taylor. Hello. Hello?
The return of Ellie Taylor.
The return.
She's back.
Country.
Country.
We always invite guests back.
There's been a big change.
Normally it's another child, but you've gone a different route, haven't you.
I keep hearing you say that I've moved to the country. You've moved to the country. We can tell by your internet reception. Oh well that is quite shit. But I'm not I'm really not,
I'm in, I'm properly in the burbs man. I'm in the burbs. I'm in the burbs. So what zone? What's zone? What zone? What's the zone? Are you in London? The verbs of what? The burs? The b. The b. The b. The b. The b. The bobbs? The bobbs? The the the the the the the the the th. The burbs? The burbs? The burbs? The burbs? I? I? I? The burbs? I? I? I? The that is? I? I is? I is? I is? I? I is? I'm? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? I'm? I'm? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I'm? I'm? I'm on. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on. I'm on? I'm on? I'm on? I'm on? I is? I is? I is? I is? I is? I isx I'm in Essex right on the so what zone oh I think it's like nine what's the point nine what is the point Rob your zone five suddenly feels
really central God it's got I'm a good it's so stressed out in like midtown
Manhattan where I live in zone five
we yell at cabs everywhere and hot dog stands so last time we spoke to you
Ellie you lived down the road from me I did to the point where you were once I mean to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thooo. tho. the thooo. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the spoke to you, Ellie, you lived down the road from me. To the point where you were once, I mean we used to often see each other in the park.
We did.
And you used to get cocktails delivered door to door on some little as a stash man's bike.
Was that you was getting locked down cocktails?
Oh yeah, and I advised Josh to get some of then he nearly died because they were so strong. Yeah that was it. That was correct. I couldn't deal with them. So you move
from at the east end of London all the cool hip happening place to full-on burbs. I think you are in
the countryside and you're in denial when you're clinging onto the burbs. But you're actually
it's a bit of both but I did see a deer in the garden the other day. I did That's the rule. You can't see a deer.
They're at center parks, right?
That can't be the suburbs if you've got deer.
It is, it's kind of a weird mix.
It's like I can see a deer, but I can also get a pizza express within about seven minutes.
It's, it's, I'm walking a weird line here. I think that's just a future, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, the future, the future, the the future, that's the future, the the that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's their, that's their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theatsuooombs, that, that's that's that's that's that's that, that, whilst looking at wildlife. What did you what did you do when you saw a deer?
Filmed it obviously. I'm immediately a little movie townie and we've seen a
badger as well we've got quite a lot of badger problem if I'm honest in the
back garden. What's the badger problem? Well they just every night they just
come in and have a party and they like snuffle up your lawn and they turn it all over it's an ups it's like the song out you you you you you you you you you you you you they they they they they they they to to to the to to the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the they they they they're they're they're to to to their they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to their to their their to their their to they. I they. I they. I try try try try try try try to try to to try to to to they. I th they. I they're just just they're just they turn it all over. It's an ups, it's like the somb out.
No you can't. It's not allowed. No, not allowed.
Brian May turns up. Big time. Queen guitar solos in your garden until you leave them alone.
Yeah, there are a real issue around here so you know it's not it's not all fun and games in the
countryside. No of course, of course. What made you make the move? What made you make the move? I think being in lockdown in our little place in London, we just wanted some more space
for the kid.
Because you've still just got one, haven't you?
We just got one.
How old now?
She's two and a half.
She's two and a half.
Still young, yeah.
And the people next door on one side were a househared and they smoked a lot of weed. Oh, oh, it's the the the the people. It's the people. It's the people. It's the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. And the people. the people. the people. the people. the people the people. the people. the people the people the people the people th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. that. the. the. that that that. that., oh, it was so awkward. Yeah, and it was just,
yeah, there was a lot of that, there was a lot of like, I don't know, it's a really fun area,
but it was a bit sort of dicey in places, so it was time to get out. I take exception to this
description of it, thank you very much, Ellie. No, excuse me, Josh, you lived in the nice bit. That's why I lived in the shitty bit.
Well, yeah, that is, that is true, you know.
Oh, it's just a nice bit.
Oh, it's a lovely bit where Josh lives really good.
Is it, I don't think,
Come on, when you're from London, when you're from London,
who lives, who?
Tommy Walsh from ground force? I bet he bought it when it was about 10 grand a house. I think Sharon Horgan lives quite near you, Josh.
She does.
Oh God, this actually stinks of the Guardian.
The little media liberal elite all just snuffling around with Tommy Walsh having a pint
in the pot and arson with the cubs.
The problem is I worked on Columbia Road Flower Market so I remember it just being horrendous
around it. That was like 20 years ago I worked at the market oh my god how old am I I just
said I worked at a market 20 years ago oh my sorry anyway but it's not ideal
for kids is it that's what we get in yeah even but it's awkward now
because Josh still lives there yeah but it's interesting because Tommy Walsh
because it's making weed I don't thin Tommy Walsh, when he went on Celebrity Fit Club, he revealed that
he drank a pint of Bailies a day. What's her man? Oh my gosh. Not every that, Christmas? I've met you off.
No, every day, every day. Pint of Bail- Ends of the ti with a pint of Bailies. I think he pours it into a pint glass? Or just has loads of little ones. Yeah, tho. It's th th th th th th. th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. tho, tho, tho, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not. Oh, not. Oh, not. Oh, not. Oh, not. Oh, not. Oh, not. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, oh, oh, pint glasses. You need a lot of ice as well then because you don't want to warm maillies.
No. No, no, exactly.
So, no, it's interesting because it's a conversation that me and my wife continually have.
Because we love the area, but would we stay, you know, and when will we go, etc. So it's interesting to talk to someone
who's had the same experience. Yeah, I do really miss it though to be honest, I really miss being in
town. It doesn't take that long to get in and it takes about half an hour on the train to get in,
but yeah I just miss, I miss like walking around and just being part of London and being just is not like that it's just really suburbs
here it's quite towel-y like from my house I can leave my house and I can I can
I can walk past maybe five six seven places to get Botox and fillers
like genuinely it's more convenient for me to get Botox than it is to buy a loaf
of bread like it's mad it's mad time around here so it's so different so like the what I would give to see a man to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to see a to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to the the the the th. to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the. the. the. I the. the. I the. I the. I the. I bread. Like it's mad. It's mad times around here. So it's so different.
So like the, what I would give to see a man of a little like, you know, selling me some
cumbucher with a little top knot, like there's no hipsters around here. No, come you don't want. That's the worst bit of it, isn't it? No, I want it. I crave a hipster so bad. I want it. I want to. I. I want it. I. I want it. I want it. I want to. I to. I to. I to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the ha. I crave the ha. I crave the ha. I crave the hi. I crave a to to the hi. I want to to to to to to to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. the the ha. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the hi. the that? I don't know. I didn't think it would be this sort of so different.
It's quite a culture shift kind of in a really weird way.
I'd moved to zone five.
It's only Bromley, so it's still,
it's not like miles away in the countryside,
but you do notice the quality of like restaurants
drops off compared to when you guys were properly in town, like right, where it was all sort of happening and stuff. So, but after a while you just, you do just want a pizza express and go to bed.
Yeah, I'm sort of bored of trying new things.
I know it's bad.
Are you done Rob?
I think I've done.
Have you tried everything you want to do?
Yeah, like, yeah, but I was talking just don't think I can get in a headspace to try that.
Just because I just think I don't know what it is I've not had it before it's all I'm probably going to order it's a lot of work that goes into it where even
though you know a picture express pizza isn't the best in the world but you know what you're going to get
consistency. Yeah and we were like we were looking at other places, properly more in the sort of country where, and it sounds so shallow, but there were places where you couldn't get Deliveroo,
and we were like, it's an absolute no, we're not, we're not.
You can't go back, we can't go to a timer that isn't Delivero.
Did you turn up at the house to view it and then turn the Deliveroo on to a...
I did afterwards, yeah, I even, I think I emailed,
I messaged in Livero and said, are you going to be moving into this area? And I'll say,
oh my God. Oh my God, Ellie, that is Uber, but if you're lucky, you're looking at?
What are we looking at?
Well, I mean, if I look now, I imagine there's probably one car and it will be maybe 15 minutes
away.
Like, wow.
Let's all do that now.
And then we can work out how far if one is away from the way. I can't even remember where Uber is on my phone because I just haven't used it for so long.
You just phone a taxi firm, old school. Yeah, I'll admit. I'll be a very good. If I got an Uber now it would take five minutes, it's five minutes away.
Five minutes away. That's, I'm disappointed in that. That is bad for you. I'm four minutes. I need to move to zone five. I'm on four minutes. I'm on four minutes. I There's not even a car. You're not even a car.
Oh God, I'm stranded.
You're going to have to be true-
Just jump on a deer.
Not even a car, you're stranded.
Oh wow.
The one Uber he's doing a job.
The one Uber is.
That's like, have you ever got to go to cottage in the countryside, when you ring up to book and
it's just one cab driver and they go, I can't do that job because I got picked markup at
nine.
You might have to get a today.
I think I've still got saved in my phone from so many weddings in random places.
It'll be like John Taxi Herathing. Yeah. Yeah. Because you have to book it about three weeks in advance, ish. But obviously for you and your partner it's not ideal with that kind of thing,
but is it better for your daughter?
Yes, she...
Is there more to do?
Is she enjoying the garden and stuff like that?
She loves the garden.
A bit more hyper without the weed, is she?
Yeah, it's a bit annoying really.
She's eating less though. She's coming through the pringles I bought, Morton Pack.
Still there.
No, she loves it.
She goes now to a forest school, which is great.
So it's proper in the middle of a forest.
We have to drive down like, it's like a five-minute drive through the forest to get there.
So proper potholes.
Proper suburbs suburbs, sort of suburbs- suburbsy stuff, isn't it?
Five minute drive for a forest.
Oh, five minute drive!
But then she comes home covered in mud.
So she's delighted with that. She loves having more space to run around,
seeing her grandparents more, all that kind of stuff.
So yeah, nursery and schools are they better where you are now than where you were before? I don't know really, we'll see about schools. It's not as clear cut, so I don't need to worry about that for another year or so.
Yeah.
I don't know, I don't know when you look into this things.
I just follow my friend who was a kid the same age, so whatever she does, I follow
her. at the real reason for your move. When you said she sees her grandparents a lot,
are we talking a move to increase babysitting opportunities?
Is that what we're looking at here?
I would say that was 80% of the reason that we moved.
Yes, it's joyful.
Can I tell you that, it's the best thing you've ever done.
It's great. Better to have 50 average nights out a year than one really good one. And when they're around the corner, just dump them and run away, and then they love it.
And then there'll be a stage, Joe, because you use them loads.
They'll be a bit like, okay, we did have them last weekend and stuff like that.
Okay, yeah, don't worry. And then basically give them the culture older. calling back from you. Wow, do you know, we moved an interesting time. So we moved like a few weeks after my sister and her family who also lived in this area,
they've emigrated to Australia.
Oh, so they left.
Oh, so they left.
They've left.
They've left.
Yeah, my mom and dad have like lost two grandchildren, like they just don't have access to them anymore because they're locked. they're just, their, they, they, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, tho, tho, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, they just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. they just, they're just, they're just, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, like, like, like, only grandchild. So we now get 100% of the grandparents,
which is amazing. Because that is a thing that is a real, like if you've got from a large
family you've got loads of kids, like it does cause a bit of conflict between the siblings
if one, you know, kids are getting more babysitting time than the other. So that is, you've absolutely devastated that my sister's gone yada yada, but brilliant. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. their, th. their, th. their, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is that is that is that is, that is, that is that is that is, because is, because is, because is, because is, th. Because is, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thi's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that that that that that that, because, is a that, because, is a've absolutely nailed that. You're complete monopoly. I mean, obviously devastated that my sister's gone yadda yada, but brilliant.
My wife had always free.
They had her for two nights the other weekend.
We went for a long weekend to Soho Farmhouse.
What a bunch of twice.
Oh yeah, Sharon and Tommy Walsh, yeah.
You got that. You got that.
You said, Golo Tommy's been here. He's beating me to it
Do you know who the first person I saw in his farmhouse was riding past me on a bike
Simon Cowl
Really? Oh, I'm on a bike with his history and he was delighted was he wearing a life jacket? Was he wearing a life jacket? I've only ever seen him on a on a down jet skis. I didn't know he did have holidays. No, yeah, yeah, just knocking around.
He was having a lovely time.
Was he worried he was gonna get his boot cut jeans caught in spokes?
Imagine if he had little ankle clips on.
No, he just, I didn't look at his, I didn't look at his leg wear,
damn it.
So you are getting full, so that's two nights away from your child. Is that the longest you've ever spent away from her? No, I've ditched her for two weeks once for work
when she was quite little.
Really? Yeah, that was lovely.
Great.
Wow, where did you, what work was it?
That was in? I was filming something in Bulgaria.
Oh, so a proper acting job, though? Oh, how was that though? thou? th. How was th. How was th. th. thi. that. that. that. that. that? that? that? that. that. that. that? that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. that? I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. th. th. th. th. thit it. thit. thit. thit. I've ditched. I've ditched thit. I've ditched thit. I've ditched her. I've ditched her. I've ditched her. I've thate. I've never ever had a problem with leaving her, ever. I think you embrace that as well, because I, you know, also, I think it's more difficult.
If your kids don't see the grandparents or other family members very often and then you leave
them, that's awkward and because they don't know what's going on, but they're so happy.
My kids are both sets of grandparents, you can just leave them with them and they're happy and they don't care so you know there's not that that worry. Absolutely yeah you know they're just going to be spoiled and that yeah they're fine so yeah I've on it I've never ever
I've always gone my bit weird for like just being like ladies and running off never been bothered
no I think you're good I think you're refreshing the honest that's what I think you are. Okay few thanks I try to be. But could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. th you. th you. th you have to you have to you've to you've to you've to have th. to you have to have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the their. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've never never never never never never never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never I don't think I'd want. I think that would be a bit much.
I think five nights max if you're going to go away in holiday with your kids.
But like me and Lou would do that where I'll have the kids and she goes away.
Yeah.
She looks like Miami with my friends of five nights and she had them.
But she found that a little nights and she had them but yeah I don't think we could both leave them I think. No I think I'd feel I'd think I'd feel bad.
Especially now because they've got more grown up. It's when they're more grown up. It's when they're different they're a baby but now like they're like my little today. they're like, they're. they're. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be good. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. they're. they're. their. tho. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I're. I're. I. I're. I. I're. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I've. I've. I've. I've tot. I've tote. tote. tote. tote. tode. today. haven't really done, to be fair though, the last holiday we did was like before
lockdown where the youngest was a little bit small still so it's a bit like
oh is she gonna trip or whatever and that kind of stuff all the time but now
when we can go on holiday like I cannot wait because they're gonna be just, it'd be brilliant just like sitting on the beach and I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like back from Cornwall, we went for a week with my parents. And I have to say, so we'll be living in the same house as my parents.
I think four adults to one child is the perfect ratio.
I think it's the only humane ratio that exists.
Yeah, four to one.
And I just, you can totally see the benefit of multi-generational households.
Why don't we all do it? tho th th th th th th th tho th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi, I that, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I, I tho, I th, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo running around like talking to different people. Yeah, but then you've got to actually live, so it was your parents. It was my parents. Yeah, my husband. How does. How does he gets on well with him? Oh, he gets on well with him. He does. He does. He really sounds like he doesn't but he doesn't but he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He. He's. He doesn't. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was, but he's Ozzy and he's not into sport.
So my dad loves sport.
So the point where you don't, you said it like you'd never even heard the word.
Sport.
Sport.
I was running, jumping, kicky things.
So that was quite, we watched a lot of football obviously while we were away
and there's also Wimbledon on. So that's quite interesting to sort sort sort to sort sort sort sort sort to sort sort to sort sort sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort of see him navigate that. Oh that's good yeah. So could I ask we were recording this the day after England of swatted away Denmark in the
semi-forms? Did you watch that? We did actually. My parents came around and we all got quite into it.
I think dad was just annoyed because me and my mom have a no knowledge but a lot of opinions. Oh, I can't deal with that. I'm a bit like 19s when it comes to the football, you know, sort
of like an archaic attitude. I'm like, if you don't know about the football, I can't
watch it with you, back off, get out of my ass. I had to text my friends to apologize
this morning because I told them off during the game for not taking it seriously. Oh, did you really? Yeah. I'm on your side. th. th. th. th. th. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. I'm on your th. I'm on your the the the the the the the th. Josh. Josh. Josh. I'm on the the the the the football. I'm the football. I'm the football. I'm the football. I the football. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I, I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the thi. I'm th. I'm the the the th. I'm on your side Josh, I can't watch, a normal game, yeah, but the quarterfinals
or the semifinals of the Euros, I can't have someone go, oh well, do they normally wear red
shorts and a red top?
Who gives a fuck?
Shut up!
Oh, I had such a long conversation about what the, oh, how does the ref know what to wear? So, how does the refs have to decide after the other to.... to, I, I, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so, oh, oh, so, so, oh, so, oh, so, so, oh, so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, the, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to.... to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the, I, I, I, I out. And then I talk about the advertising boards. Oh, getting to that.
It's so interesting, but they're all playing in Rome.
I was like, oh, the Italians won't know what just eat is.
But it turns out, they have just eat in Italia?
In Italy.
Oh, sorry.
The but we know what they do? Which is off the point of parenting, but you know, advertising boards, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're, they're, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, this technology so that that's one that's one lot of footage but they change what's on the advertising board
for the different countries. Yeah I saw that so it's like a weird computer thing
and it just blew my mind so it's they just they just change the advertising
board for different countries and languages. This is this is why
this is why we're such a popular podcast Rob. This is what we're such a popular podcast for off. This is what we're doing that no one else is.
I'm happy that I made the recall time. I was already five minutes late. I've got a croaky
voice and I'm still pissed. So I'm just enjoying the chat guys. So did your daughter notice
the difference in her life now, Ellie? I don't know. She is genuinely more happy, I think, I think, I think it's really beneficial to her being closer to my parents
to have that, you know, there's extra grown-ups in their life,
I think it really makes them feel secure.
It makes your life easier and then it's more,
if you've got more flexibility, then you're more chilled rather than
stressing about getting to it all, you know, and hashtag badgers.
So we'll get there. Oh yeah, the badger's stitch. We'll get there.
They're quick as well. Are they? Are they? Are they? Yeah, they can move. My mate got chased by one
and he said he's never been most petrived in his life.
Because he didn't know what it was like, and they just and he he was and he he was and he he was and he he was and he he was and he he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he and they and they and they and they and they and they and they and they and he was and he was and they and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he was like and he quite bulky and really fast and he just leaves himself and run away.
And then he was like, but on paper you wouldn't think you'd be scared of a badger.
No.
But they are, they're lumpy old things.
They've got claws as well, aren't they badgers?
They're really clawing.
It's like a stripy wombat, thrown.
Yeah. So Ellie you've written a book about what period of parenting does it cover?
Yes, well the whole all of it made all of it yeah so the book's called my child and other mistakes.
So it has a great title. I know but it does have to sell well so I can afford the therapy my child will need when she can read.
Do you know what it's a similar situation to us here isn't it Rob.
What's that? Well there's a similar situation to us here, isn't it, Rob? What's that?
Well, there's a slight kind of, did you go, or is the title kind of saying that parenting's
tough and I don't enjoy it kind of thing? Is that going to be problematic when my child's
hold on?
No, fuck on.
they' told you.
Do you know, I'll tha.
I' the told you. Now, now you understand.
It is hell, but, you know, life is hell.
We just navigate through it.
I mean, that's basically it, and the subtitle of it is how to ruin your life in the best
way possible.
See, so there's positivity in there. Yeah. So, yeah, it it it it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thathe. thathe. that. thi. thi. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the. It's. It's. It's, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. th about deciding to have a kid when I didn't really like children, getting
pregnant, pregnancy, birth, newborn, and life after.
So it's like the whole thing, and it's kind of, it's basically the book I wish I could
have read when I was pregnant or thinking about having kids.
Yeah, oh, that's good.
Yeah. Because you not, sort of, like, did you not really that maternal, like, is not bothered about having kids or did you always want them?
No, didn't always want them, wasn't sure, kind of, I basically decided to have them because
I didn't, I couldn't imagine dying not being a mum.
Bleak.
Oh, wow.
Right?
Isn't it?
He's believing.
That's an interesting kind of way to go into it, go, it's one feeling that, well this
is a thing I kind of almost have to do.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but that's quite, if you use that for all things, you could get in a lot of trouble
with that.
You know, like, if I don't want to be the guy and you know, you sort of, you can put it about everything. Yeah, well it's the same reason I've been to like, um, I went on the London eye because
I felt I had to.
Do you know what I've stopped doing going up stuff to look down?
I want to look at the bird, you know the biggest building in the world in Dubai? And I should have thought more more carefully about my sort of flippant philosophy.
I think it's true that.
If that's how you fell.
I know it does give your, I think, because you sort of think, you know, if I didn't
have kids we could have done this, could have done that. But you know, it does give you, I think, you know, because, if, like, like, like, like, if, like, like, if, if, if, like, if, if, if, if, like, if, if, I, I, if, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, to, to, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I, I, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, maybe, maybe, I'm, maybe, maybe, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th in the ass it's pain and ass but there's an amazing moments you know and stuff which make it all worthwhile it's
sort of it's almost like following the England football team and it you're
just sort of think what is a point of this and then one semi finally like yes
please it was worth it oh my god no I don't me and my friends we had a chat the other day we were like we love our children but we it is like, but why do people have children?
Because it's awful.
Like, yeah.
But we just follow, we just like Lemmings
and we've just done it because everyone else does it.
But really, but really, it is quite awful a lot of the time.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's fair.
But it's at the worst moments when you find yourself thinking about your friends that don't have children on what they're up to.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, but no, but what I'd say is though, you guys are in the, like, you've got a newborn,
basically, Josh, and she's still only two and a half.
But now, five and three, like, I've been out on they get that bit older. You do get that freedom back. So it's
only, I'd say, it's only three years of your life you'll lose and then you can enjoy
yourself again. I mean, I say all that, I mean, obviously she's joyous and she's actually talking now and she's so funny. And I'm loving I bit way more than the newborn stuff so it
does feel like this definitely feels like there's way more sunshine than there has been.
But yeah it was just wanted yeah I wanted to write a book about the whole sort of experience
and it is it's very honest and I talk very candidly about how hard I found the newborn stuff
which I was awful but yeah and I'm I'm really glad with how it's come out.
I should fess up that I've read your book Ellie and I loved it. You sent it to me didn't you?
You did. It's a PDF which isn't a nice way to read a book. It's really not. I'm not
awful ask so thank you for that. Yeah and it's really really, it's brilliantly written and it's the thrown. There's a really really great, it's really really really really really really really really really really really really really great, it's brilliant, it's really great, it's really great, it's a great, it's really great, it's a great, it's really great, it's a great, it's a great, it's brilliant, it's brilliant, it's brilliant, it's brilliant, it's brilliant, th. It's brilliant, th. It's brilliant, it's brilliant, it's brilliant, thri-a great, thri. th. th. th. th th. It's brilliant, th th th th th th. It's brilliant, th. It's brilliant, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thri. thi. thri. thi. thri. thri. theea. thea. the. the. thi. thi.to do live at the Apollo, you did
live at the Apollo, very very kind of noticeably pregnant and you thought
that was kind of an important thing to do didn't you? Yeah I just I loved like being
pregnant and gigging was my favorite time of being a comic because I just I just felt
so and strap in for a cliche, empowered but I really did like to be like this massive wall of woman and just so visibly pregnant and I thi th. th. th. th. th. very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very a cliche, empowered, but I really did like to be like this massive wall of woman and just so visibly pregnant and I think pregnant women
are funny as well like to look at ridiculous, like absolute clowns. I'm glad you
said it but it's so mental having a baby in your belly in it.
It's weird. You look you are the punchline you are the banana skin being slipped on like to look at. So to be up there visually funny and I also so so so so so so so so so so so so so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like th like th like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th to to to to to to to to th. to to the to the the the the the the. the. the. the. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to punchline, you are the banana skin being slipped on, like to look at.
So to be up there, visually funny, and I also wore like a really tight dress, really
short, massive heels, I just look like, I was, I was an image, right?
Like, you'd notice me something.
And to be in a position of power where you're on stage, where, you know know you're commanding an audience I just think you just so rarely see a pregnant woman, women anyway but a pregnant woman in that sort
of elevated status and I just I just absolutely loved it I really I've just really
enjoyed it felt really powerful and it was yeah my favorite period of
being a comic. Also it's great for BBC's diversity because it was two women on
stage at once.
I was absolutely loving that.
We're the new Mel and Sue. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's th. It's great, it's thi, it's great, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. But a th. But a pregnant, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the the the thi. It's the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the the the thi. the. the the thi. thi. thi. I was actually loving that. Women new melon soo.
But it's quite exciting to go like you were on stage with me inside me. I know.
When I did the when I did the gig to your to your door. Yeah it's wicked. I can't
wait to show her. Yeah she'll hate it all I'm sure. Did you have loads of material.
Did you have loads of material?'ve lost a load of material.
Yeah but then I just got a circular cushion shoved it up there in a way.
Yeah it was a bit it was quite annoying because I had loads it's just really
it's obviously it's so ripe for material as well so it's a bit annoying.
Might have to get up the duff just to use some of going. Did you write it as you went, because I struggle to remember stuff.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, from that first period, it's really like really blurry and people, it's like the
cliche, isn't it?
You don't really remember that first, those few months you blanked them out.
So did you know you were writing this as you were going through?
No, I think I actually I found it really cathartic writing about the birth and the newborn bit
actually because I don't know it's sort of ordered my thoughts and it made me really think about it
and reflect on how it was and I've said to my friends like you all need to do it just right
down what happened and how you felt because it yeah it's just sort of I don't know sort of cleared things up for me now and I'm like that was my
experience and I can sort of put it in a box. Yeah so yeah I really I really
enjoyed writing about the newborn bit even though it was quite bleak and I
think I think in hindsight I probably had some postnatal depression but
but even through that there's so many like I remember last time I came when I spoke to you about the ridiculous lactation expert that made me pretend to breastfeed a
puppet of Elmo. Yeah yeah so that I mean that stuff happened I mean there's
the lovely horrific story about about me taking my first poo after I've had a
kid which is oh yeah because that's quite a big deal isn't this is the
theyx their own experience but women it's a different
kettle of fish it's it was yeah more traumatic than the birth I'll be honest
but the equivalent of that is if you've been out on a bender on a stag
do and you've just been drinking grosh and you have to have a that that's as close as men can get to it wo that th. that th. th. that that th. th. that's th. th. the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the. the. the. theat's tm. tmo. tmo. that's that's tha's the. that's the. the's been a much more horrific experience. That, but also recovering from major surgery and having a child breastfeeding the whole
time. Oh my God. At the same time, oh, so do you did a poo breastfeeding? I felt, yeah, in a way, I feel
quite proud of that. That's too much stuff going in and out, isn't it? It was a confusing time, but I was like, I I felt really proud. She never broke latch. Wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh, oh wow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, I was. Yeah, I was, I was. Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was. Oh, I was. Oh, I was. Oh, I was. to, I was. to, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm a to. Oh, I'm to. Oh, I'm, I'm to. Oh, I'm, I'm to. Oh, I'm never broke wow oh wow even afterwards when I had a lot of drugs going through
my system after a cesarean your digestive system goes a bit sluggish
anyway when you've had a baby so it was like a few days and I'd been warned
that it's it's gonna be a full-on experience so I basically had to hit no birth
birth this giant shit out and then I was like oh thank God it's out
and I was like sweating and oh my god the relief oh my god it's all done
baby's still on my boo baby's on my boo flush the loo it didn't go down
oh no at this point me and my husbandthat's the one sort of mystique bit that we still have not anymore that's rude. Mistake mistake we kill go try and keep it sexy
don't talk about it. So I didn't want to be like hey can you come and help me
shift this giant shit so I decided when I was like I was like five days after
giving beath I barely slept just off I'm just sort of unhinged what I decided to do the most reasonable thing is while th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. that I I th. that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm to to that I that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to keep. I'm to keep. I'm to keep. I'm to keep to to keep. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I the. I the. I'm just the. I'm just the. I'm just the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I to the. the. What I decided to do with the most reasonable thing is while my child still feeding, I find a little hotel shower cap and pull it over my hand and I bend down
with my still breastfeeding. Your breastfeeding the whole time still breastfeeding. And
I physically break up my own poo. Oh, well, really? In a physical movement and then finally
flush it down. And I stood back up, everything was fine, baby did not break latch. Thank you very much. Thank you very very. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Thank you very much. Oh, well thank you very much. I'm a hero. Thank you. Also, I would like to mention the mystique in your relationship.
I'd argue that sure you didn't ask him to break up your poo, but you have told it on a podcast and in a book. So surely he will hear about this? Oh now. I'd say that mistakes, it's gone. Oh, well and truly. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mistake. the mystic. the mystique. the mystique. the mystique. the mystique. the mystique. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. But at that point it was still intact. But yeah, I think the first time he heard about it was reading the book, so lovely little
street saw him.
Oh wow.
Would you say that was your lowest moment then?
Um, I mean...
It's gotta be.
It's gotta be,that's RIP. Gotta be. Although, I met a lady who'd also had a Caesarian and a traumatic first poo, she also
also blocked the loo.
She decided to put her poo in a plastic bag, which she then wrapped in more plastic bags, like
an awful past the parcel.
Oh no. And then she gave it to her husband and said, just put this in the outside in in in in the outside in the outside in the outside in the outside in the outside the outside the outside the outside th and thin thin thin thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thoom. thoom, the tho, the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, to too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to too, too, And he did it. I've done that before. He did. Street bin. You know you've had a bad
money using a street bin. Not even your own side bin in the street. It's run by a bus stop.
But so is that basically, is that all Cesarian births then the going to the toilet? Or is it
just all after birth? I think all births in general. But I think Cesarians there's more drugs in your system. So is it always basically constipation? It's just a big one to get out.
It's just terrific.
Yeah, and it's just your whole system's didn't look like just been so traumatized and had the most,
you know, dramatic few days. So everything sort of slowed down. So yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, it's just not working at his full capacity. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. the whole. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. their. the whole. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............. Yeah........................ Yeah................ Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah..... hasn't it? Exactly. Exactly. But you just don't get, yeah, what there needs to be is some moon pig cards saying well done on your
first shit because you get a lot for the baby but the first baby. Yeah, that's a great.
Should be the push present. Exactly. Exactly. Also would you recommend maybe some stall softeners after giving birth to help? I think in my case let's get Dr. Hilary on this. to the, I. the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to get, to get, to get, th, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, I'm, to, to. Yeah, to, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Hillary on this. Just like a saw or something would have helped things happen.
It's like that scene in a shallow grave
why they have to break up the body.
Yeah.
It's a bit like, you know, all like,
or world strongest man, you know,
when they're pulling a plane along with a rope.
Just show, I'm just that's the thing, it's good though to talk about that kind of stuff, because I didn't even know that was a thing and then we other people have gone through
that and go, oh God, you know, and they've had to break up a good.
I mean, I would hate to talk out of turn about my wife with all the mystique, etc. But the first child, the first child, she had, she she she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she had, she, she. to. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she. their. their, she. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to, I. to, I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the she knew this was coming and then it was
all right and it was like she'd won the lottery. Do you know what really?
Like the second time was fine and she was like it was like the biggest weight
off her shoulders I've ever. So please but can I just always say can we
not make saying like it's an Ellie Taylor like a thing I don't want that to be
sorry you guys like it's an Ellie Taylor a massive shit? I don't want to be a big. You've got his coined it. I was a levy tailor.
A massive shit.
Let me ask Lou.
Lou, Lou, how's your shit after the baby?
No, she's just shaking her head.
She doesn't engage, Ellie.
Did you have an Ellie Taylor or a rose, a rose second one?
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear one? Oh dear.
And Ellie, what I was going to say, is there anything else people should know about the
change from city to suburbs country life with kids? Any tips you could give someone?
Do you think it's a good thing to do? Yeah, I mean, why not? Why not? Why? I think, I think you can never regret space, I think, that's a thing for a kid. But also, they don't know they they they they they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that's. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. to to th. their. today. to that. that. today. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's I mean, we're back on that subject. Yeah, why not? Why not? Yeah, I think you can never regret space, I think.
That's a thing for a kid.
But also, they don't know the opposite.
Like, so if they haven't got space,
it doesn't, do you know what I mean?
They don't matter?
they didn't know what they're equivalent house in the country because I remember when Miles Jupp moved from Peckham to Monmouth.
He basically moved from a small flat into a mansion at the same price.
Have you had that kind of experience, Ellie? It's definitely a lot bigger than the other than the London one, like 100 percent.
But yeah, did you have a garden in London? Oh, you did because it was full of weed wasn't it?
Yeah, the weed one. But it was absolutely tiny.
And our, yeah, and our garden now is,
well, you know, there's room for deer and badgers.
So it's definitely, it's a bit of an upgrade.
It certainly is.
So yeah, I mean, you do get free child care. Being able to just outsource,
that's great. So we're ready to help. And my next question is, in 15 and a half years when your child
leaves home, will you maintain your house where it is or will you go, I miss, I miss the city?
I don't think you can move back into the city can you? I don't know if that's even allowed. You can't go...
There's rules on that.
Pretty Patel stood there going, no, no, you made your choice.
I can't imagine going back into London unless I had like some cool little like bachelorette pad
somewhere. Oh, so if you get divorced, basically, you're saying.
Fingers cross. So yeah.
If I see you in the playground in Victoria Parker I'm so sorry to hear that you've
you've split up. I can only presume that. Do you want some top-knock cocktails delivered
to your door? And our guy? I think we always end with the same question don't we?
Yeah, but I don't know if we asked you it last time because I think you might have come
on before it cropped up. It's basically Crosby's law where is there one thing that annoys
you about the way your partner does parenting that you haven't told them because it
might start a fight but you think is justified and if they heard this they would go yeah that is that is fair is there something that frustrates you about your husband is
husband husband yeah what annoys me about him
ah what annoys me is that he seems to have the ability to she listens to him way more
than she listens to me which I do find quite irritating like I have to call him for backup and I hate that I hate that I that I can't get to the the to to to to to to to to the the to the the the they. they. they. they. they. that's that's that's that's that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that's that's that I'm that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to that's to to to to to the to the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's thi. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. him in for backup and I hate that. I hate that I can't go to sleep. It's so undermining. The little pricks is making me like an idiot.
I hate that about him. What else do I hate? So give me an exact. So he wouldn't go to sleep
unless he told her. Yeah, she's in a funny mood and then she was like, mommy, mommy, mommie, lay down. And I'll end up laying up that that that, I'll that, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th. th, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll th. I'll th. th. that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll th. I'll like, I'll like, I's like, I's like, I the little, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the little the little the little the little the little the little the little, I'll the little, I'll the little, I'll the little, I'll the little, I'll the little, I'll the little, I'll th. I'll th. th. thi, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, like, I'll, like, I'll, up laying on the floor all night and he's like no I'll sort it out and goes in like and I don't know what it's like the baby whisperers whispers
or something and then comes out and she's like huh my work is done oh oh he's a
bit more stern is he yeah I think so she just respects him more than you yeah
I think so what what you don't like about the way you parents is a that she respects him more than you yeah basically I he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th is th is the the the is the is the is the is the the is the is the the is the is't like how good he is at parenting. What about? Damn it.
Sounds like the fact he's a really good dad.
Yeah, God.
He's really undermined to you as a mom
that he's good at being a dad.
Yes, basically that.
What at all?
Yeah.
Well, he sounds dreadful.
Hopefully he hears this, and he sorts that right out. I'll feed him to the badgers don't worry. Yeah I just have a look at what badgers do to a lawn and they really
ruin it then. You can't imagine Rob. I'll send you some picks yeah I don't.
Thanks Ellie. Is there anything you can do? Do emailing guys if you've got any
badges on their patch.. I don't mean that.
I do not mean that. I've been a lot of dynamite. You want to ruin a lawn mate? Shut that down his set.
Right. Thank you so much Ellie. That's brilliant. When's the book out?
Twenty-second of July. But you can pre-order. Ellie thanks so. Ellie, thanks so much. Thanks, guys.
Thanks so much, Ellie. Bye.
Ellie Taylor. I love Ellie Taylor. She's so nice, isn't she? Very funny. Good to writing books.
Good at comedy. Not as good at parenting as a partner. Not as good parenting, but you can't be good at everything, can you?
Yeah, exactly. If you've got a massive shit that needs sorting out, she'll pop her. Exactly. Buy a book or alternatively if you need someone to sort out of you Ben,
she'll turn up with a shower cat. It's interesting though that I think a lot of people, you make that decision,
that's what you're thinking about the moment isn't it whether you stay or go somewhere
a bit more space in the suburbs. The way we would decide, I think what we're doing is we've got a nice little local school
and if she gets in there, then that'll buy us a few more years.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh yeah, I get you.
So if Hackney Council are listening, come on guys, chuck us a fucking thoen here,
give us our first choice. Also, on that Hackney council, could I get some more food waste bags?
No badgers, so he's on badgers?
Don't want badgers, absolutely not.
Right, we'll be back next week with some more episodes.
See you then. Bye.