Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP44: Ugo Monye
Episode Date: December 10, 2021S03 EP44: Ugo MonyeJoining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant former rugby player and now sports pundit, presenter, and most recently Strictly Come ...Dancing contestant - Ugo Monye Thanks to everyone who bought tickets for the live show in January - we sold in less than 15 minutes! If you want to be first in line for any potential future live dates, merchandise, and any additional show info then sign up to the mailing list here;parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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and member terms apply hello I'm Rob Beckett I'm I'm Josh Willickham welcome
to parents in hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day
parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of, of course, tales of the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their trials theirs. theirs. I trials theirs. I trials trials trials tri-a. I they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,
tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with.
Ezra, can you say Rob Bucket? Bob Bucket. And can you say Josh Widdicum?
Josh Widdockham.
See a bit later.
Josh Widdickham! Well done. Very strong. Oh, that was great.
Sorry, are they from Surrey? They are, doesn't say.
Do include where you're from so Rob can guess.
That was very confident and loud.
I like that.
That was very, I think that's one of the best.
I've been a listener to your podcast from the beginning of lockdown while
looking after my now three and a half-year-old, very energetic little boy Ezra who was so excited to say her names that he then continued to shout them around the house for the next hour. That screamy devil
child in the background is Amelie 5.5 months. Your podcasts are keeping me
sane in our two to three hourly night feeds. Oh my god what they have in a
buffet. She still insists on so huge thanks for the laughs. Love what you're doing. Thanks for making the feeds bearable. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the their. I their. I th. I their. I their. I am. I am their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the. the the. the. the. the the the. the theanks for the laughs. Love what you're doing. Thanks for making the feeds bearable. I am catapulting into being classic dad and it's happening so fast.
I can't even, it's ridiculous. I'm even giving up on clothes. I just wear whatever's nearest.
It's awful. I look terrible. My sneezes are getting louder, which is a real sign I'm becoming a dad. What about your ears? My ears, furry.
How are you doing in terms of trimming hair around your hair drop?
Let me take through the areas and tell me whether you need to trim it.
Okay, go on.
Ears.
Uh, no, sometimes a random long one.
.
I've got three ear lobes that I have to tri. No I don't trim my ears at all. I get the occasional long one. Same with nose. Occasionally long ones. I have to go big on my nose. You're like a hobby boy aren't you?
Yeah, my eyebrows. Yeah. It's like a fuking full-time job Rob keeping them in check.
I'm notalga. Yeah, they're insane. I'm trimitting my eyebrows about once a week. You're like their trimobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobo th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th- I'll th- I'm thobo to have to have to have to have thobo to have thobo thobo to thobo. I have thobo. I have thobo thobo. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th tho. I tho. I'll tho tho to to to the tho to to to to the to to tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho thobo thobo the thobo thobo to look. It's like a maid in Chelsea going for a weekly hairc. I cannot wait to see you at 8-year. You're going to be such a funny little old man.
You're big old eyebrows.
There he is, shuffling about.
Coughing, sneezing, trying to get to your car.
Scratching your head working out to put petrol in it.
You would have a bathing in it. say no now I wouldn't say no now. I think you know some people like going I'm a bit like belligerent like I'm not gonna be old I keep doing that I'm
gonna go to like nightclubs with my son you're gonna like yeah give me the
pipe and slippers. May I'm ready I'm ready I'm already going I don't want to go out.
I don't want any part of youth culture thank you very much. I don't go out to thin. I don't like the the their their to their to to their to to their their th to th to their to to to their their to tho. I'm to to to to to to go to go to to go to go to go to go. to go. to go. to go to go to go. I don't to go. I don't to go. I don't to go go. I don't to go go go. to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. their. to go. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to go out. That's what I found out in lockdown. Going out is shit. It makes me stressed and sad.
Yeah, everything's better indoors.
Look, mate, is it better?
Oh, are you watching, if you watch this, I'm watching a documentary on Netflix, or
Amazon, sorry, about the Chippendales and a murder at the top of the Chippendales in the 80s. And if you can tell me a pub that's better than that,
I would be very surprised.
Magic Mike, you might like Magic Mike as a night out
if you're into that Chippendale's, but less murder.
Yeah, I'm not into it for the Chippandail element of it.
Not that there'd be anything wrong with that. see a couple of hot bods you know you know what Rob it looks like your look when you're 40 yeah I keep thinking bloody hell it's gonna be mad when Rob
Beckett looks like this they're gonna have to rename magic Michael be
Beckett a 40 that's what they're gonna do they're talking of old being old
and older parents we've got a great boomer parent a Instagram
message here oh yeah yeah we're doing And this is Boomer Parents talking about things that your Boomer Parents did that is totally unacceptable now.
Boomer.
Boomer Parent, I like this is gonna be a great feature of this.
I've been a listener to the podcast since the start.
I love it so much, it's the year I was born.
This is my Bo Yeah, that's the year I was born. I'd been asking for a rabbit for months and months.
Around comes my birthday and my dad, who I can add is the most lovely placid man ever ever said,
said to me, come on, I'm taking you to get a rabbit.
I was so excited. It's all I had ever wanted.
So off we go to get a rabbit here? We take a turn.
And we are stood in front of a butcher.
Who has a row of dead rabbits in front of him.
Oh my God.
With looking like a rabbit with fur on, head, legs, ears a lot.
My dad proceeds to order a rabbit and make me watch it be skinned and shocked.
Oh my god.
To take it home to make a stew. I was distraught. My mom went mental. I've never eaten rabbit and I'm still traumatized by it.
That is insane. We remind... Why are Boomer Parents so psychopathic?
And yet I'm worried about, you know whether she wears an else address. Do you know what I mean? What impact that's going to have? Well we remind my dad of this quite often he tries to make out it wasn't as dramatic as we all
claim. However me and my mom remember it the exact same one. Wasn't as dramatic as we all
claim. From Joe. That is remarkable. And the thing is that isn't even out the ordinary. That's what all good parents did. That's not get down what the bad parents. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. that's. th. that's. th. th. th. that's. th. that's. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that isn't. that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that's. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Let's not get down what the bad parents are doing.
That was a good boomer parent.
Can I just say, I haven't got an issue with her wearing an else address.
My main issue is that she's got four of them,
and it's all she wants to wear.
Fair enough.
It sounded like I had an issue with people wearing andress.
I just wanted to Josh's daughter's trip to the tape modern and it reminded me of the time I took my then two-year-old to the National Gallery.
Obviously it was something I wanted to do and I was hoping that he'd fall asleep in his
push share as we wandered about.
Oh, good luck.
Oh, good luck.
Instead, I ended up lea out of their tiol-oom. Boobies! Boobies! Yeah, there are so many Dix and Tits in that gallery.
That is Lisa with a booby-shouting sun.
That is brilliant.
That's funny for a bit, but in those places it's so quiet everyone will listen, weren't
they?
Yeah.
My wife took out of another gallery, but it went a bit better yesterday.
Because there was more colorful pictures.
Basically, let's be honest. She's not appreciating art. No, just take a Picadilly circus if she likes bright
things. She just likes bright colors. They love lights just love lights
Oh, advice for Josh. Yeah, dream feed Josh. I don't think this means you need to do. Oh tried it.
This is because your son he's getting better, but he's waking up at five o'clock now not four thirty. It's fine. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thine-I's the. the' the. thi. the' the' the' the' th. thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' the the the the the the the the the the thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thi. thi. thi's thi's thii'a'er's thiiiiiiiiiii'a'a'er's thi'er's just just just just thi'a'er's just just their th at five o'clock now not four thirty fine now I'm living the dreams yeah okay keep telling yourself that
dream feed saved me and my partner that all try it
you sneak in about 11 p.m. they should sleep until seven is not hunger it's about
hunger it's just his body clock is it's not hunger it's not hunger it's not hunger it's not hunger to to be awake I tell you that's that's the hunger the hunger the hunger the hunger the hunger to to the hunger to to the the to the to the the to the the the the to the the the the th I to to th I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to the thus to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's a hunger to be awake, I tell you that's that. But sadly, thank you
for the advice. Thank you. I don't mean to be so dismissive, but fucking tried it, mate.
Don't, don't think that it's not my first rodeo. I've got another one for you. Toot, to, to, moot, this is. Drop a nap, Josh. Have you tried it? Dr. At to, to, to, to, to, to, drop a nap, to, to, th, to, th, th, th, to, th, to, th, th, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th, th, th, th, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th, th. Dr, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. six months I dropped all naps. All naps. All naps.
That to to, that, that to, too, moo, finish.
At six months, I dropped all naps apart from one if they needed it.
And I got seven to seven.
The holy grail.
How many naps is he on at the moment?
It's pretty all can tell,
whatever happens in the day makes absolutely no difference. Okay, we're not
paroday. But that's just some advice mate if you wanted to take it. Thank you.
Thank you for your advice everyone. Right, ah is a good one Josh. This could be your advice for everyone. Hi Rob and Josh just want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their th. I th. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I'm tape. I'm tape. I'm tape. I'm th. I'm th. I'm everyone. Hi Robin Josh just wanted to share a quick parenting trick that I've invented. My nearly two and a half year old has started, just
say two and a half we don't, by the time we read this out, there'll probably be about
four. I just wanted to share a quick parenting trick that I invented. My nearly two and a half year old had started to to to the to do things like. I. I. I. I. I. I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to do things. I to to to to to to to to to to to say just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'll just say. I'll just say just say just just. I'll just say just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just just say, just just just just say, just just just just just just just. I'll just just just just just. I'll just just just just. I'll just. I'll just just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to say, just. I I I I I I. I. I to say. I. I just. I just. I just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just, just, just say, just by by to to say, just say, by by to say, by to say, just say, by to say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just say, just. the car, etc. I've started to say, shall I put the song on? She says yes excitedly,
and I proceed to play as loud as I can, the Benny Hill TV theme.
Oh.
D-da-da-da-da-da-da-de-lidlid. That's the one.
I don't know why, but it works a charm every time. She seems dress in a bikini and chase old men. I'm joking I've added that.
It's also really funny to watch.
Looking forward to our Spotify Roundup at the end of the year and the recommended list is going to offer up after this.
Love the podcast, please never stop.
Oh yeah, they just think you love Benny Ill.
Yeah. How about this? How the tired of the stories and thought I'd share mine. It happened in the weeks after the birth of our first child, Matty, the stage, when they're
waking up every three hours for feeding a burping day and night, and your life revolves
around that relentless cycle.
One night I realized I had fallen asleep while feeding him and forgotten to burp him. I sat bolt up right, I todayed the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I, their. their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, their. I, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the the the stage. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm t t today, today, today, the the today, the the the the the the the the the the the the stage. Wea. Wea, the the the the the the the the pitch dark started trying to burp him. It wasn't working and I realized it did feel a bit awkward so I thought in my rushed and
tired state I might have faced him the wrong way.
I turned him around but it was even more awkward.
At a loss I put him back down and turned the bed next to me looking wide-eyed dishevelled and confused was our cat. She must have been sleeping on my lap
and got the fright of her life. Did she burb? She...
I've never heard a cat burp? Have you ever heard a cat burb and the the email address is.
If anyone's got a cat that burbs record it and we'll put it on. Yeah why not? And we'll know if you're cheating and it's you. That's Ben from West
Mosley. Oh thanks Ben from West Mosley. Right, we've got, this one's a bit
serious but funny, but we'll read it out. It's a nice one. Hi guys, I'm listening
to Series 3 episode 25 and in Chelmsford, Essex. Obviously an extremely hard time and this is
also my children's first experience with death. So even though I was going through a lot,
I wanted to try and handle it in the right way with them, I told them that though their Nan
was now gone, she wasn't truly gone and that she will always be with us, watching over us, watching over us, watching the daughter, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, their, thuu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, so, so, tho, so, so, so, so, and, so, and, so, so, and, and, and, and, and, so, and, and, and, and, and, and, so, and, and, so, and, and, and, and, so, and, so, and, and, so, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr. So, thr. So, thri, thr-s, thruu. So, thi. So, thi. So, tho'''a, tho, tho, thotalk to her like she is here and that she will hear us. So every now and then Penny would say something out loud to her
or look at the clouds and wave a toy in the air for her to see. I think that's
quite nice isn't nice things to do. Then one day as I'm bathing her I walk up
the room to grab a tow and she starts shouting stop looking at me naked! This is my body and you shouldn't look at it.
Side note, it was summer and the windows were open with the neighbors in their garden.
Funny but not the best thing for them to hear.
Especially as he only just moved in about four months before and they didn't know that my mom had passed away.
Oh my God. Love the podcast, thanks for laughter
during a really crap time.
Love Mick from Chelmsford, Essex.
Thanks, mate.
Thank you very much.
That is a lovely way to go into Ugo Monea.
It's a good episode actually of Hugo.
It's a top bloc.
We should do the intro here really because we don't really give him one on the show. Rugby Legend can, you know, very fast at running
as well which we discuss on the pod. And he's kind of now becoming quite a, he's on question of
sport and he's he was on strictly. He is TV personality. He is transcended rugby and by that I mean I've heard of him and I don't like rugby. Yeah I know he's he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's their. He's their. He's on their. He's on their. He's on their. He's on. He's was on. He's. He's was on. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the. He's. He's the. He's. He's. He's the. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the. He's. He's the. He's. He's and I don't like rugby. Yeah I know he's got he's got good banter as well for rugby because normally they're
ventures we yeah if you're worried about if you're worried about if you're worried you said
rugby don't turn off don't turn off it's better than you think it's gonna be trust us he's more
the crouch end of things yeah yeah exactly right Mugot-Mogué! This episode is brought to you by Nespresso.
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Okay. Josh, do you want to do the intro? Why not? I mean, it's intro is a big word.
Ugamonye, hello, how are you?
Really good, thank you, man.
Good.
Did you, we should keep in the bit where Rob says, Josh, do you want to do the intro,
like I'm going to give you a huge kind of, question of sport, strictly all that, but we've already done that, so they
know that, but it just feels a bit underwhelming when we go, all right, there's a gun.
No, I prefer it.
I've always, it's embarrassing.
And actually, it's like, people know you from, they're like, no, they're actually
don't care.
They're wondering why they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're wondering, they're like, oh right, okay. They're on this podcast whilst Googling me. Do you mean? And they're like, okay, it's not Chris Akebusey, it's not John Fraschneu.
It's, oh, who's the other one? No, I don't know. I don't know this lad. I don't know it.
He sounds like it should be working in fashion. Did someone forget to add the H to the Ugo. I don't get who this fellow is.
Have you got a number for John Fashner while you're there?
Have you ever met John Fashion You out of interest? I met him a few years ago. He's quite intense. He's quite serious person. I mean, I don't know him intimately or personally, but I met him at an event.
Intimate. I'm not suggesting you slept with him, Hugo Monier.
I met him on Socceria but he just kept him talking about how massive his house was and
he kept on, I think he's got a house in Nigeria or somewhere, I'm not sure.
And he, yeah, and he was going, guess how many toilets I've got, I don't know, like, six, you're an 18. Eighteen? How bad his diet? What's, what's. What's? to? to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to? to go? to go? to go? to? to go? to go? to go? to go? to go? to go? their? their? their? to go? their. their? their? I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah, I's, I's, I's, I's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their? I. their? I. their? I's. their? I's. their? I's, I's, I'm their? I'm t. t. t t t t toda. too. too. too. too. the the the the the too. I'm their. I's. I'm, I'm the. 18? 18 toilets. He's got a massive house here.
How about his diet?
What's going on there?
I love how having numerous amounts of to toilets is the barometer of success.
Like, it's not bedrooms.
Over it will take bedrooms, but toilets apparently.
He's only got three bedrooms for 18 toilets.
Hugo, can you give us a run down. down what's your set up kids kids kids kids what's going on so I've got I've got two kids two girls a proper girl dad I've got my eldest daughter's
Phoenix she's four and a half and just started a big girl school and I've got
Ruby who's one and a half and they're awesome I mean they're troublesome but
they're absolutely amazing as well you did the you did a dance for them on strictly, you did Moana dance, didn't
you? Because you thought that would go down well with them from what I could tell? Yeah, obviously
just try to get that. So I mean, just put on people's heartstrings because that's what's
really important. Yeah. Getting to the next week, because there is a bonus for Blackpool. That's what they're going to the extra bunts for bans for bnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnse for bn't their their their bonus. their bonus. thaun't thuuance. thuance. thublea thin, thin, thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thin' thin'a'a'a'a'er's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin, thin, thin, thia'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' what people don't talk about. You get a bonus to go Blackpool. These these celebs don't just want to dance in Blackpool. They want the extra
bunts for staying in, isn't it? Hugo. Everyone's gagging to get to Blackpool. I'm like, I've never
been to Blackpool my life and all of to the producers and everything and I was
like, you know what, it's Phoenix's favorite dance? She just, she loves it and I've got so
many good memories of like early mornings and late nights just watching of her in my lap.
So she came to the dance studio one afternoon they captured a little bit of me with
him. And I was like, oh Phoenix, guess what? Song Daddy's Dance to this week? And we had the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, thi thi. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thiii. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was like, oh Phoenix, guess what? Song Daddy's Dance to This Week.
And we had a couple of clues.
And she went, oh, is it my one?
I was like, yeah, I said, because Phoenix,
that's your favorite film.
She's like, used to be.
I was not there.
OK, we'll have to cut this.
Phoenix, I'm going to ask his question. excited. And then she gave the right answer in inverted commas. And then so we could use some of the
audio from it, I had to say, oh, the rock's a great singer and what a great actor. So I had to say
that like, oh, what a wonderful performer of the rockers and Phoenix, but I don't like him.
So yeah, to say that I danced the dance for my daughters, I did, that was the intention, but the reality is I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the the the the the the the the the, I the thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their their their their their their their their their their, I could their, I could their, I th. the, I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, so thean, so the dance for my daughters, I did, that was the intention,
but the reality is I just wanted to get to Blackpool.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry you didn't get to Blackpool.
People ask you a lot.
Are you going to carry on dancing?
I don't know, I've been able to manage avoiding ballroom dance for 38 years.
Now I've done it forto manage avoiding ballroom dance for 38 years.
Now I've done it for all of five weeks and get slated on national tele, that I'm
crowded dancing.
Yeah, I'll continue.
Yeah, probably.
But if there was five aside football happening at the same time as there was salsa,
I'm probably going to do five-time football.
Do you want money? Did they enjoy seeing you on it though? Or the kids? the kids? the kids? the kids? the kids? the kids? the kids? the kids?. the kids? the kids? their their their th? th? th. th. th. th. they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they're they're five or two times football. Do you know what I mean?
Did they enjoy seeing you on it though, your kids or they not bothered?
They were too young a little bit?
They loved it, genuinely, they loved it.
Like for me, I played rugby 14 years and I had kids after I retired and I was always
a bit like, I wish I had kids so they could have watched me play. And I their their old rugby matches which I played and all the rest of it on tele and I was like, Phoenix,
what is this is daddy? Not bothered. Just not bothered.
Yeah. I was more bothered than she was but then strictly because like my daughter Phoenix
like loves dancing and all that stuff and she loved seeing daddy on tele and spoke about it at school and they played videos of me dancing
at school so it was like quite cool and I think, I don't know, the perhaps the stereotypical
like version of a dad is like he's just a practical guy.
He like carries ten loads of shopping on one trip and all that kind of stuff.
And I've got such a, I am just a human climbing frame for them.
Like, I just have fun.
It's wicked.
So it was nice to see Daddy being, just having fun and yeah,
having that kind of cool vibe about it.
Oh, what are you like as a dad?
Are you, are you, I imagine you as a fun dad because you're a laugh.
Do you know what I mean? I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine I can't imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to imagine to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's th. I'm th. I'm that. I'm th. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'minarian. No, I kind of flip between the two, like, I am like...
That's how to keep them in line.
May make them, just be disciplined some days,
other days letting them do any old shit.
That's what you do. That's great, that's great for the kids, not knowing where
to go, what to do, really keeps on to answer the question. I think they'd say, Daddy was silly and Daddy was fun.
Like, I am that human climate frame.
I am like that portable soft play.
That's what I am.
I just mess around, wanna have all the fun and everything else.
But then there's a part of me,
which I guess the household I was brought up in,
like mom and dad, both Nigerian and stereotypically African households are pretty pretty strict. And I think I've definitely got that streak in me where
I do want them to, I guess just have all the kind of core fundamental parts of a person you'd
want anyone to have, be respectful, be disciplined, all those kind of things. So in one sense,
I'm definitely that, but more so, so if I to split it it 80%, I'm all the lulls, all the fun,
I like to think.
And the other thing, I'm probably a bit sterner
or a bit more discipline focused than Lucy,
their mom, but like they're great kids, not because of me,
because of Lucy, because she's been a phenomenal mom to them.
And you was born here here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was born here, was thia.
a phenomenal mom to them. And was your parents born here?
Did they come over here?
No, they came over about 50 years ago.
Yeah.
So I got two brothers, two sisters.
So there's five of us now, so all of us born here.
Wow.
Yeah, oh, mate, it's mad.
Did you ever get that threat of if you misbehaved?
Then you go back tought in a school with a lot of Nigerian kids and that was just a gap year, do you mean?
Yeah.
But like, it was quite a disciplined household.
We didn't mess around, but then I guess my mom, so mom and dad split up when I was like
age 13, dad went back to Nigeria.
And the only way my mom could have actually kept together a household was for
discipline. If she allowed us to do whatever we wanted, mate,
it had been absolute carnage and chaos for her.
So she had to be strict.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, we wouldn't step out of line.
And then I end up going to like boarding school,
which makes me sound like I'm one these poshos.
I'm not like I went to boarding school, but I'm not a private school boy, so I guess discipline and conformity and all those
kind of things has probably played quite a significant role in my life and I do see some of it
like I guess come out in my parenting skills but not my day-to-day interaction with my kids.
No. Would you ever consider your kids going to boarding school? Oh, one million percent.
See I've like lived on both sides of the tracks.
I went to state school.
I've come from like, council, council house.
Mate, we moved about houses so much as like as kids.
That's just what I did.
And then I got an opportunity to go to private school, not because we could afford it,
but there was a scholarship that was awarded.
For dancing dancing for dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing dancing for dancing for dancing for dancing for dancing exactly yeah just I just I just did a few
steps couple of robots and I was in that's when you first picked up a rugby
ball wouldn't it in between salsa and fox trot you was like what's this
thing give this a lunch about and before you know it that was you was
better at that so I did a try celebration and it was a samba and they were like wow oh my god we should get you to arts and drama the music that I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the Samba and they were like, wow, oh my gosh. We should get you to arts and drama and musical theatre.
Like, I can see you West End, you know, those things didn't like.
So, so what was it a proper posh balling school and then proper like,
because there's private schools and there's the proper like,
the ones where they dressed like monks and all that? Was it a monks? It was a, it? It was, it, it, it, their, their, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, well, well, th. Well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, was, was, was, was, was a that, was, was a th. Well, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, like, was, like, like, like, was, was, was, was, was.. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was. Well, was like, was like, was like, was a th. Well, was a th. Well, was a they. Well, was a they. Well, was a they. Well, was a they. It was a they. It was a they. It was a they. It was a. It was a. It was a. It was a proper. Was a proper. Was a proper, was, was a they dressed like monks? Right. I wore a Bridgdale and a barber jacket age 13 to go through.
That was uniform.
That wasn't a choice.
I'd take the nick out of adults for wearing that and it's fine, like be whoever you
want to be.
But age 13, that was me.
I was dressed like a cadet to go to school. So what did all your brothers and sisters think of you?
Because they obviously assumed, did they weren't going there
because they didn't get the scholarship or they do their own thing,
but they must have the people were ridiculous.
They did get the scholarship eventually, but I was there first.
And so you can imagine me like coming home, waxing your barber jacket on a Sunday afternoon.
Exactly.
My brother's got puffer jacket Air Force One's getting on a bus to go into school.
I was like, wow.
Like, the school didn't play football, quote, unquote. Oh, really? They called it chav ball. Yes, I was like, this is the world's biggest stitch up. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,av ball, quote unquote. Oh really, they called it chav ball.
Yeah, so I was like, this is the world's biggest stitch up.
Like, I wanted to play football and I've gone to a school.
There was like only, there was only one other black kid at school.
I was like, I'm a city boy, I've moved to the country and I've got to dress up like I'm going to all ascot just to go to do like maths, like what's going on?
So I was just like this, I was like this is a stitch up but really it was it was the point of my life
which changed my life was mad. Absolutely mad because I got I got to play rugby and I don't want to play rugby but as a kid you just do thin.
I have kids do because you want to fit in and have fun so I did.
So what was your scholarship for then? Was it for Rugby or was it just? No, they had this thing
called, so schools called Lord Wands of College and they had this foundation scholarship which
was awarded to single parents and I'll tell you what they were way ahead of the time because
only 7% of the population go to private school.
Yes.
So it really does beat people with wealth and that's it.
And that's fine.
You know, people have worked hard to earn money to be able to support their kids.
Unbelievable.
Do that given the opportunity.
But I also do wonder there will be a lot of talented kids out there that don't have the wealth
that have denied the opportunity and like the world is a fair that's fine but I always tell
the story so when I played on the World Seven series I was like I was the fastest on the circuit
when I played in the premiership I was the quickest in the preemanship but at my state school I wasn't the quickest thi. But at my th. But at th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their world their world their world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world. the world. the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi sa's thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi woooooo' world. But the international circuit it was one was one the quickest
yeah isn't it? And I'm just like that. So what happened to all those kids who had wicked like talent
and naturally who just didn't get given a chance like that's that's a shame. It's such a shame,
but I guess this scholarship spoke to people like me and my mom who couldn't afford it but
just had unfortunate circumstance
of being a single parent.
Yeah.
And they created this avenue to be able to do it.
And I guess I took that responsibility,
not just to my mom who were able to find the opportunity,
but to the school who put their trust in me to someone,
like 95% of the school were a fee-paying people who could afford to people to, I wanted to work hard and I'm no proud. I'm still in touch of teachers and I go back and a generation of pupils have
come through it but I'm glad that they took a punt on me and things have worked to okay and I can
be an example to kids who might be in my situation and say, yeah someone's trusted you believe the new crack on. That's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, yeah, someone, someone, yeah, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's someone's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, someone, yeah, someone's trusted you believe the new crack on. That's amazing. And does that inform like what you'd want your kids to do?
Because obviously, they've got a different kind of background financially
and like you're in a different situation to your mom.
Totally.
I guess you're right.
I remember going to private school age 13 and speaking to kids and they'd been in private
school since the age of four. And I'm just like, what, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they've they've they're they're they're they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th... I'm th. I've th. I'm thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're I'm just like what's that's so much. Lo and behold, Phoenix has been
in private school since the age of three and I'm not that person I like question what are you doing
but during lockdown like it was nuts because everyone spent so much more time at home I properly
got exposed to what it was to be like a full-time parent I was just like what you do this every day
this is nuts like like what what? I mean like I th th do you do this every day? This is nuts. Like,
like what? I mean, I know I work and like I'm winded up working hard, but this is mental.
You're like, what? Honestly, it's crazy, but the statistics have really changed since lockdown
and I guess co-parenting be far more equal people working from like all the rest of them.
Yeah, they've been like a high percentage of like bads taken, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, like, what, like, like, like, like for like all the rest of them. They've been like a high percentage of like dads taking their taking their kids to school
and all the rest of it. I think it's got a greater sense of equilibrium but I do remember like
it was one Thursday night and it was the only day you did something different from every other
day you clap for the carers. So we still had our doorstep and you clap for the carers and like Phoenix loved it. She's buzzing. Then I took her up to have a
bath and at that point she loved the fact that we were like clapping for these people doing
amazing things and she said she wanted to be a doctor or nurse. I was like, oh, love you Phoenix. I took up for a bath. And I was like, Phoenix, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr. thr. thr. the the the thr. the the the the the the the the the the that. I said, what do you want to be? She went, I want to be the fastest girl in the world.
I was like, oh, mate, I had a moment. I'm not very emotional, but like, I was like,
what did you say? And she was like, yeah, I want to be the fastest girl in the world. And it really kind of to be thethat we can be so inspired by our kids.
And the reason I say that is no one's world, I don't mean physically,
is bigger than a kid's world because no one's told them that they can't do anything.
Yeah.
They believe they've not had stumbling blocks, not had to develop a sense of resilience and all these things or had the world negatively
impact them. So in Phoenix's mind, she's like, yeah, why not?
I'll just be the quickest girl on the planet.
And I was just like, yeah.
If I can like get her to believe that the world is a place of opportunity and
she can be anything she wants to be whilst getting her to nurture work ethic,
discipline, all the rest of it and combine those two things thions can. So for me, I didn't have all the opportunities right throughout like my youth.
I got them from age 13, but I'm hoping that Phoenix's been exposed to that and live in a world
where she can be anything that she wants to be, that she really can be, whatever that
might be.
Yeah. Crazy athletic. Like, mate, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi, I didn't thi thi thiiiiiii thiii thiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that she really can be, whatever that might be. Like, she's crazy athletic. Like, mate, it's remarkable the thing she can do, like,
athletics-wise, like, whether it's netball, football, rugby, gymnastics dance, she's just
obscenely good. I don't want to put a pressure on her to try and follow her
to their own path and just do whatever and just know that.
Mom and Dad's a fully supporter.
But you can see that early doors with kids,
can't you, if they're physically like that?
They just, and you don't have to put pressure on them,
but there are some kids at physics,
and just do everything before all the other kids. And it's just, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th so, th so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th, th, tho, thi, thi, th, th, and, and, th, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, th, tho, th, th, and, and, th, and, and, and, th, and, th................................................. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. Phoenix is always really embarrassed when it comes to competing like she gets nervous but she doesn't quite
understand the emotion of nerves so she thinks she's scared where I'm trying
to tell her it's nervous and it's okay to be nervous so ready steady go
back she like leged it out but stayed in line with everyone okay she thought she tho to the finish thirty metermissed thirty to th.. the thi. thi. thi. thi. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi. thi thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So, I thi. So, I I I was thi. So, I I was thi. So, I I I I thi. So, I thi. So, I thi. So, I thi. thi-I thi-I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nc-I thi thi thi thi to the finish line, but she was 30 meters short and just stopped.
And I was like, Phoenix and Ray's not finished.
Honestly, I was having an absolutely weptain after her classmate.
And I was like, Finn scored, and then she doesn't realize it, but she mocked all of her classmates in front of their pain.
She hustled them, basically. Oh, God. I mean she doesn't realize it but she mocked all of her classmates in front of their
parents. She hustled them basically. Yeah she hustled them. Yeah but do you think though if
she was in a state school it might be a competitive race like when you were there?
Is it because she's gone private? Yeah they didn't they didn't care they all knew they
had good jobs at Pricewater half's Cooper coming up when they were 18 so it's fine. Yeah half Half already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already already they were half half half half half half half half they were they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they had good jobs at Pricewater Half's Cooper coming up when they were 18, so it's fine. Yeah, half are already doing intern jobs at H.C. and J.P. Morgan.
Do you mean that's just what they do?
How old's your youngest? One and a half? One and a half. Yeah, she's like me. She's mischievous.
Like she's. Is she? You got got Phoenix who's balletic and so graceful
and like your archetypal princess like she is oh my gosh she's dream
absolute dream Ruby is a dream but she's mischievous in such a funny way and like
you can definitely see that Phoenix is definitely like Lucy and Ruby's probably a little bit
like me like she like Phoenix never like
draw on a wall or anything like that. It's just Ruby she'll run across like drawing a wall
and then with the crayons in a hand walk over to like me or Lucy and just go oh no no no
like she shows every sense of remorse and you're like oh it's okay Ruby three seconds later she's doing it again and then just coming back saying she's sorry and I'm just
like oh babe like come on she she's it's amazing like I know you guys got
kids and it's the second one developed so much quicker so like feet
walking age like 14 months which is like on part Ruby was nine months because she just had someone to chase to fall to do everything.
Interesting. And she tries to do everything that Phoenix does, even though she might not be physically able.
She just throws herself into everything. She's way like Phoenix was like by our side.
Always, especially in social settings,
when we drop Phoenix off at school, like Ruby,
she thinks those classmates are her mates.
And so she's, yeah, we have that.
It's wicked though, isn't it?
Yeah, no, it's great, but like, when she gets,
my eldest gets invited for a play date,
the youngest is like, what can I go?
You're like, well, he was I am her mate, I'm like oh God, I'm going well I'll take you something else to do that now I want to go to her house you're like
oh for fun so you can't say someone um yeah she's coming in as well that's
that our invites work is it? I know we take Phoenix to gymnastics and so
it's like age four to five whatever Ruby wants to go in like they're working on the high bar and Ruby's just like, well I can do that. Well, you can't. Like you actually can't, but she just wants to get involved.
She'll pretend she'll try and do a forward roll, but she just ends up
the bumming her head on the floor and she can't roll and you're just like, oh,
this neck, this neck, I don't know if you can't take it. Your daughter's four and she's doing the high bar. Mate, honestly.
I wouldn't fancy myself doing that and I'm 38.
But get you a step ladder to get out there, John.
It's insane.
And everyone thinks their kids are great.
Yeah.
I don't know how you feel about it.
You know yours is.
Is that what you're saying?
Everyone thinks their kids great, but I know. I've thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that, I's that, I's that, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thii. that. thiii. thiiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thinks their kids great, but I know. I've seen the Supreme. You lot are bullshitters.
Yeah, exactly.
But like, as a parent, there's nothing proud of like, overhearing someone compliment your kid.
Yeah.
In any setting, whether it's at school, like we had a parent's evening and like, we thought everyone's evening and like,
we we thought everyone did bullshit. Because like, um, theyteacher was like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. As a th. As a th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. th. But, that, that, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. But, tha, th. was like she's awesome, she's this, she's that and you're just like,
oh yeah whatever, he says that to everyone's kid and then one of the other kids,
mum's ring up Lucy having a wettie down the phone, they said my kids behind.
And you're like, oh gosh, like you're sad for them but you're like, that means
my kid's awesome. I'm Brunton I'm sorry but I'm not
sorry like I'm not comparing what did the teacher say about your kid is
oh I don't want to talk about it's like go on it says what yours might be
behind but they actually said ours is a head it's a bit embarrassing but
they actually said she probably should be taken at a
levels like next week, but whatever.
Yeah, that is, because even the kids come back a little bit, like so-and-so is on
this level of reading, I'm only on this level of reading, you have to be like quite chill
about it, but some parents really do care. It does get quite competitive. You lock on a what's up group or do you see the dads and the moms outside of the school or anything, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, make, drop-off is, mate, it's just peacockin isn't it?
It's literally just peacoaking, like, I just love just seeing the dynamic of like, seeing the parents just...
What kind of peacocking you get in there?
See, it's kind of like, well, like, by the way, the uniform at school, like,
I don't know, how much should you reckon you spent on a year's worth of uniform when you went to school? Like you only had to buy a tie and a jumper from the school. Everything else you could just buy from like
Debenhams couldn't you? Yeah, Debony's. We charity shopped here, everything. I reckon for a year
we didn't spend a hundred quid, didn't. Phoenix, 720 pounds. Whoa. What was she wearing?
Mate, I don't know, it must be Chanel, like it's a Canadian.
No wonder you wanted to get to Blackpool.
I'm going to re-watch that series.
That passion in your eyes isn't the Samburry, it's school uniforms.
I reckon I'll pay off a school uniform by 2026. So what is it? What is it? What is it then? What is the school uniform? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's? It? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's a the the the the the the the the the s- It's a the s-S. It's a the the s-S-S-S-Skkkkkkkk? It's the school? It's the school? It's? It's the. I reckon I'll pay off a school uniform by 2026.
So what is it?
What is the school uniform?
Like just regular gear.
I actually have a proper beer in my bonnet about school uniform.
Like she rocks up like she's something out of the flipping tuders.
Like, she's one of them ones?
Sort of like, like, dress up with private schools.
Yeah, mate. She wears a straw hat in the summer.
Do you know what I mean? Absolutely pointless. Yeah, I love tradition and all the rest of it and
you can't knock it, but I think universally across this country, like kids should be kids and
I don't see her wearing half the stuff which actually allows kids to be kids.
Yeah. When it comes to playtime can they fully play around in like some pinnafore or a dress.
She wears a blazer. She wears a blazer to school. I'm just like... I took mate a nursery.
I mean I'm not going to name and shame but there's some kids at at my daughter's nursery and their clothes are more expensive than my clothes.
Yes. And you're like you're going to fucking, you're doing forest school and
then you're painting. What you do? Yeah, I don't get, I understand if a school's
got a uniform and stuff and I don't agree. I think, understand it, private schools are good if you want to send a kid and to, and to, and to, and to, and their, and, and, and, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, like, to, like, like, like, to, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their, their, their, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, you're, you're, their, their, they.. they. they. th. th. thin, th. thin, th. their, their, their, the they get more time to develop and stuff, but there's no need for those outfits at all is there?
I personally think it's got nothing to do with the kids.
Like I know when I've got a Phoenix outside of school time, she's not wearing a blazer to go to softplay or to go
do nothing. It's just not appropriate. But I honestly think school uniforms in private schools,
they do it and it's advertising and it's status.
So when they're like walking to school
or I don't know, whatever they're doing,
they have a badge on their chest and they're like,
and parents are like, look how smart that girl is.
Wait, that's a really bad. That's all it is, but forget the adverts, put the kids at the center of it, because
if kids had to, I mean, you don't want kids making too many decisions, but in terms of
comfort and adaptability, considering they're in and out of class, going from gymnastics,
to play, to lunchtime, to everything, they would not say, they would to to ights, a straw hat and a blazer to school.
They just never, you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it.
No kid when you're trying to get them out the house is going, where the hell's
I'm not going without my straw hat. I'm not going.
What I would say, Hugo though, is there's one quick fix know I can't winch because they're the same. There's been people listening, imagining the world's tiny's violin that
they're in a quite a quick which you can actually buy in the school shop for
80 thrown the world's tiniest violin it's actually what they need in the
spring term. I know I'm winging and I do apologize win because they'll be like I want to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to I the to I to I to I to I the to I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the their. I the the the the their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm the world. I'm the world. I'm the world. I'm the world. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the things. I'm. I'm things. I things. I things. I th. I tiny. I th. I things. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. your roots don't forget your roots when you flip in. One last question on it. How much? I want a specific, how much
you knocking out for straw hat? Because if it's 700 quid for the whole thing, what's the
straw hat specifically? I genuinely don't know. I don't know but I reckon the straw hat
would have been 60, 70 quid. Geez, no way. You're punishing it.
And it's not like you're fucking winding me up.
I swear, but you can't go on to eBay and buy it.
Like you have to go to the school shop, so.
Get a second, second hand one.
There's got to be some kids leaving the school
that have got a straw hat they never want to use again,
isn't there? but the parents probably want to keep it as some kind of, I don't know, memory of them. But like, don't like, I'm winging, but it was my option to send her to this school.
So I know, yeah, you take, you're fully taking the flag.
Do you know what? Do you know what? You don't buy a season tick and then they force you to buy the full training kit to wear to a match.
I would love it if I'll slad a straw hat next season. It's too grand for the season ticket and a grand
for all the clothes. That's it, I turned up to North London Derby and they have to check that you've bought all the merch before you're allowed into the right merch. Have you got the socks?
The away socks?
No, you haven't?
Okay, well, back home.
No, but they're last season socks.
So, mate, you can't come in.
You can't come in, sorry.
I got Phoenix a football kit and then, their football kit and then onto the green or something. I think it was during lockdown. I was like, right, you getting your football kit,
I'm getting my football kit.
And she don't like football kit,
but I got a photo and he went out on Instagram
and I'm like, dad of the year.
So I guess, yeah, exactly.
The kids crying, brilliant.
Yeah, let's just have one picture.
Just have one picture and have the ball look at me just gonna put in portrait mode probably put a little filter on it yeah stop crying stop crying and have the photo
please fucking hell how much do you how much do you care if she supports
Arsenal no I don't think I can be too sensitive over this because my dad supported
Tottenham oh right yes so you let him down to you tho I don't know I think he let me down by supporting Tottenham is how I'd steal it.
He also was on the planet first. So I guess he gets first dibs at that. So, I'll let him off.
But he loved, like he loved Tottenham. And I loved Ian Wright. I love Ian Wright. I think he's wedded. I was like, this is tough. And I guess it was a choice between Les Ferdinand and Ian Wright.
And Ian Wright was a bit more of a boy backtown.
I was like, oh, I like this.
But my dad, remember Les Ferdinand,
used to have a little tough than in order to accept the fact that I sport Arsenal. So I've a... I'm so confused. I was so confused. I was like heading balls thinking
I was less but two footing people thinking I was here and right. It was great. I can't imagine
that I was Bill is they getting to sport properly it feels like your eldest is going
to it's inevitable. Obviously got good genes and stuff like that. But I think you might be overly competitive dad on the side.
I don't know if you can contain it.
No, so sports day, I don't know whether this was coincidence or COVID,
but they actually canceled the dad's race.
Did that? Okay.
No, I turned up with starting blocks full Lycra ready to go.
So is anyone that you think could beat you in that school then?
How fast are those kids are your fucking school then?
10.6?
10.6?
You can't look. There's no way.
How fast are those kids are your fucking school then?
I know. I know. I can't to go school and do the same bowl?
10.6! I know, I know. So like I can move or I used to be able to move until
the third lockdown and then I just ate my body weight in in chocolate. But yeah, I'd
have backed myself in a dad's race. But like genuine, I say this messing around, but like,
realistically there's pressure on me to win. Like I can't be turning to to to to to to to to s. Yes. Yes. to s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s' to s' to s' to s'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the the the. the the the the the the thexxxxxe. the. the. the. the. the. th, but like realistically there's pressure on me to win.
Like I can't be turning up to a sports day as an ex-athlete
and getting mugged off by David in accounts.
I can't.
Oh my God.
My Nigel in HR cannot be doing a number of me.
So what's your approach? Are you going to go as fast as you possibly can, like you're in a real race race to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe toe to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their thia.ea'eruuicea'eruicea'eruicea'eruia'eruia'eruicea'eruia'erunc.ea'erunc. to's your approach? Are you going to go as fast as you possibly can,
like you're in a real race against like other rugby players?
Or are you going to go up?
Ross knowledge of other sports kicking in there.
Yeah, but get them going to go in 75%.
He panicked.
He's tried to name when he can mink a one. You know, Will the big lankine in, Johnny, Johnny, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the... the. the. the. the the the the the the the, all the guys.
All the boys.
That big lanky one with the funny ears, he's a good one, loved him.
Why's a little fat, short one?
Yeah, all of them, great guys.
So, with, you know, Ben in accounts or whatever the people are that you're up against,
the other dads. Are you going at 75%, but then no you've got an extra level,
because it may look muggy if you absolutely
destroy them?
I can't be going out of the blocks like, I don't know, Carl Lewis, can I?
I mean I'm not going to be there three point starts, I can't.
It's got to be standing start.
Fair enough.
I think I've just got to come out gently just like, yeah. Bantabant, bant. But, but the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, th cancer, can't, can't, can't. Exactly.
Because if, mate, if it's 100 meters and at 50,
I feel someone's trying to mug me off,
I'm just going to have to go into an avigar, aren't I?
But I also want to be, I'm just a chilled out,
here just to support my daughter.
Obviously not, but that's fine if that's what you think it is. But I'm also not 95 meters out, accelerating and ducking from the life of photo finish,
because I'm not going to get given the benefit of them.
So I want to do a job on them, but not destroy them, like if that's an option.
To feel like they've got a chance next year. Yeah, and this sounds like well arrogant, but I would back myself in a race. I just would. Over anyone?
Um, it's funny actually because a couple of years ago I'd do a podcast, funny enough.
Not as good as this one, obviously.
And it's a rugby one called Rugby and a weekly.
Give it, give it a shout out.
Yes, call Rugby and a weekly. You can download it on BBC Sounds. It's about every Mondaythey are yeah if you like rugby if you don't give it give it give it a
wide berth you feel like all the lads like more Carlin and the Lank
really really filly fingers and a Gary the lank but yeah so I went to the
premise at rugby launch and there was one of the lads there he just came off playing a world cup and he was like me like me I'll they him and I was like, man, I reckon I still do
you in a race. And he was like, what? And I was like, no, genuine. And I was just there in
skinny jeans and trainers. He was there in full kit. And I was like, man, I'll do you. Bantor,
and he was like, go on then? to duck at the line so I was like
yeah I was like hang on I reckon I still got it but I don't like my honestly
make the lactic acid my hamstring my back all in pieces by the end of it he's
like we had to finish off the podcast and I'm my mouth sweating honestly
because I was so heavy heart rate must have been 200 I could barely string a sentence so the first half of the podcast I'm like well chatted. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I th. I I was I was I th. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I was the. I'm theee. I'm the. I'm like like like like like like like, I was the. I was the. I was like like I was th. I was th. I was so heavy, heart rate must have been 200. I could barely string a sentence.
So the first half of the podcast, I'm like, well chatty,
the next half, we're just like, just with the occasional,
mm-hmm, just because I couldn't actually talk.
But do you think he might have been treating you like Ben in account?
Do you know what I would do at Dan the most on sports day. So he's
he's allowed me to go away thinking I came close to them, but really he's going back to his club and saying
I absolutely rinsed you guys over the second game. Yeah. A quick question, how was retiring from rugby
affected you and your view of yourself? Do you feel that sometimes you've got a bit to prove and you're worried about getting older?
Yeah, slightly unfulfilled.
You know, I'm still, I think I'm in a period of discovery actually. I'm trying to work who I am.
Yeah. I think that's the conclusion I've come to. But mate if it's grass we'll probably wear moldies. If it's tired in the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, if it's thin, if it's grass and probably wear moldies, if it's tiatin, it's probably touch. That's to say, if it's a bit wet in the morning, you've got a real slip hazard there.
You can't be going just with a pair of like converse or something slappy.
No, of course.
You should run the race in the straw hat just to show them, show them who's boss. Yeah but it's too expensive for it to it to it to to to to to to to to to to their it to their it to to their it's to their it's to to their their to their to their their. their. thi. thi. thoomk. thi. their. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the.too expensive for it to fall off my head and get busted. I just couldn't allow it to happen.
How was it starting school because she started proper school this year?
Was she nervous or she quite excited?
Was you all right with it or?
Tough, right for two?
Really?
I'd say for the first two or three weeks, she found it hard.
One because she was just used to being at home during the pandemic and just got so used
to like mom and dad just being around and then all of a sudden she's not there like she's going to school.
Yeah. And I reckon she had a sense of first day at school she came she come out and she was like I've done
school now, like I've completed it. Yeah. Like you've actually got to go like every day. For 14 years. Yeah exactly. She loves it. She loves. And th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th th. She th th th th th th th th th th th th. And th. And th. got to go like every day.
For 14 years.
Yeah, exactly.
She loves it.
She loves it.
And it's really cool.
And this is where I think it's tough as a parent,
because you drop them off at school.
And they cry because they want to be at home.
But it's really nice that they want to be at home but it's tough to see him cry and going to school and you're like, oh maybe I should just homeschool them and you're doing the right thing.
But then they get used to school, there's no tears.
And they don't even look back to say goodbye, they just leg it into school and you're like, well I'm happy she doesn't give a trap, the crap, she wants her, like, I want to to to to to to to to to to me, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, their, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, their, their, they're, they're, their, their, to be crying. So it's this like contradiction of emotions, but she loves it like how about,
she has proper good best mates at school and yeah,
she probably loves it, loves being there as much as she loves being at home,
which is exactly what you want for you kids.
Oh, yeah, thanks, mate.
Oh, thank you, brother. It's very rare that we say, could you come back and bring documentary evidence of something.
It's very rare an interview ends with the request that you give us a video of a school sports day.
I would put on a GoPro but I just worry about the air ride dynamics.
Do you have one of those secret cameras in your straw hat?
Like so when you're running along like you're doing an investigation investigation. I know but definitely if you can film it, get
someone to film it on an iPhone then that would love to see that and post it out.
We just want to see how you how the how it went with you know we've got you what
you're doing your little bit of ban and then you really hit the afterburners but
we want to see we want to see we want to see you destroy you destroy you destroy you destroy you destroy you destroy you destroy a morning diary where you go through your shoes which you're going to wear.
What food you've been taking on board so that you're in peak condition?
A real eye of what, what it takes to be a top level out of it?
Do you know what? This has inspired me? I'm going to get ripped for the next summer. And I'm going to get ripped for the next summer. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the their their their their their their their their their their their, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, their their to to to to to to to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear to wear their th, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you're th. th. th. the, what you're the. the. theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, their their theat, their the. Shut up Josh. Shut up Josh. No, but I'm working on strength for the moment.
But I'm going to work on speed so I can win the race.
I mean, we're effectively in the off season.
So we're just going to get into warm weather training now.
But I'm glad I've marked it because I've got a good five six months just to get some accountants and HR gurus. Rob's going to spend two months at high altitude, aren't you?
That's what you're going to do.
I'm going to Big Bear.
Honestly, I'm going to Kenya next week now.
Honestly, I think it's quite interesting actually,
because there'll be a lot of dads and moms and moms racing the dad's race
that would like to win and you may not be a natural sprinter but you want to get you you know maybe finish eight for last year you want to try and get top three.
For people that aren't ex-athletes like yourself who go what is a good way to get better at
sprinting?
Like what what would you suggest?
The number one thing is coordinating your arms and your legs and vice the thanks. The amount of people who want to get to their their their their their their their their to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toex. to to to to to toe. toe. toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their try. toe. try. try. try and. try and try and try and try and try and try and to. of to. to. to. toe. toe fast at running, but your arms move or your arms move as fast your
legs and vice versa. So if they're not coordinated, you just won't be able to
you'll be running with passion but with no technique. So the many people see like
running with their heart but not their legs. I'm just like no, just chill out.
So try and get yourself coordinated and it's like anything in any
pressure situations if you went to sprint up the street just now,
on your own, you'd be able to do it.
But with six people to left and right of you,
you've panic and all coordination goes.
So I would just say, work and coordination first.
Once you've nailed that,
then you give yourself a better chance of winning. We want to create a group of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in to create a group of winners. That's what we want, isn't it? A group of winners
from this podcast. Yeah, and it'd be great if all parent-in-hell listeners won every
mom and dad's spring break. Yeah, we'd be like, we'd be like Jamaica. They're like, there's
this crop of sprinters. These crop of parents, they're all better than everyone else. There we go. Thank you so much. I love that. I'm going th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. Nice one, take it easy, lads. Thanks, mate.
I loved that.
I'm going to say it.
I'd be fucking shit at the Dad's race,
but I'm going to go for it next year.
It'll be so funny to watch show.
Well, you need to check what the race is, yeah I know I think tucca war is a bit medieval. I think I think it's a sprint I think I'm just sort of
thinking in my head about the other guys. If I could get a top five finish I
think I'd be happy. Yeah I'm trying to think of the dads at nursery whether I could beat them. There's one guy who would definitely beat me. You do a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a th th th th. th. th. You're a th. th. th. th. thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. th. thin' th. I'm thin' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I'm just thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. I'm just thin. I'm just th. I'm just thin. I'm just thin. I'm just thin. I'm just thin. I'm just thin. I'm just thin th. I'm just th. I'm very heavy footed Rob. I'm very heard about this. Yeah, he's heard about this
Yeah, but he just ran the Hackney half marathon
Just because he does stuff like that. That's I was like, oh no, yeah
He's he's got the beating of me. Oh anyway, I was who you go a love Hugo watch him on the question of sport listen to his podcast lovely Lovely and now I'm gonna go back and watch strictly and see his face when he gets told he doesn't get the bonus in Blackpool.
I didn't want to say it Rob, he missed Blackpool by a fucking mile.
But anyway.
Oh dear.
That interview played he was a week off it.
Come on, mate.
Oh dear. Well we'll be back next Tuesday with another episode. We'll see you then people.
Cheers guys.
Bye.
Bye.