Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP45: I'm entering a new phase of parenting...

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

S03 EP45: I'm entering a new phase of parenting...More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Thanks to everyone who bought tickets for the live show in January - we sold in less... than 15 minutes! If you want to be first in line for any potential future live dates, merchandise, and any additional show info then sign up to the mailing list here - there might just be a few warm up live shows going on sale via the mailing list tomorrow morning... ;) parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:32 to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with...
Starting point is 00:01:22 Either can you say, Rob Beckett. Robbucket. Can I say, Josh Willicken. There we go. I like it, she's had a quite emotional your name. That is Ada. Hello from us, gent. Honestly, your pod has been life-saving the last 18 months.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Our two-year-old Ada thinks so, too. Would love to hear on the pod. Thanks, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to tho, to to to to to to to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, too, too, to say, to say, to say, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, tho, the the the tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. too. too, too, tho'a. too'er. too. too. too. too. too. to so too. Would love to hear on the pod. Thanks for many a laugh and being the most relatable parenting role, relatable is worrying isn't it Rob? Likeable. Relatable. Relatable. Relatable. Funny and sexy. Yeah exactly. I don't want to be relatable. I think we are. I don't want to be relatable. Are we're really relatable. Are we really relatable? Is that what we are? I mean, I don't want to use the word hack. I don't want to, you know, I remember when we were two sexy young hot shot five foot seven guys back in the day, we would be talking about them old comics.
Starting point is 00:02:18 You know what? They used to call us tea shirt and gene comedians. Yeah, yeah, the old ones, miserable bald ones. I was watching a rubbish old comic, who I dislike on a personal level, on YouTube the other day. Because the moment, because it's your mental health's great at the moment. Just because that's how I relax. And they were doing some stuff about being a parent. I was thinking, this is hack rubbish, and then I thought, it would slip perfectly into my set. Give the people what they want Josh. Oh God. I once did a, this is a well off topic but we'll go back to
Starting point is 00:02:54 parenting and that that child's name in a sec. Yeah I once did a, you know, them beat the gong shows where basically you get five minutes and people to the gonged off and sometimes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, you th, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thoing, I thi, I thoing, I thoom, I thoom, I thoom, I thoes, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, th, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, too, too, to do, where basically you get five minutes and people can boo you off or put the card up and you get gonged off. And sometimes the person in charge of the gonged the gong is normally sort of quite an angry, not as successful as they like a comedian. I normally, thinn't the comedian, I normally find a today. I normally today, I'm going. And I'm going to fucking off the todayoronge off. And I've to go off. And I'll going to go off. And I'll going. And I'll going. And I'll to go go go. And I to to to to to to to to to to the th. And I th. And I'm then. then, I'm the th th thoom. th that. the thoom. the the th th th th th th th the thoom. And I'm normally the the the thoom. And I'm normally the thoom. And I'm normally tho' tho' th. And I'm normally normally th. And I'm th. And I'm to to to th. And I'm th. And I's th. And I's th. And I's th. th th th th thin. th th the an an an an angry. the an an angry. theananan. thean. theann'n'n'n'n'n'n'n't the an an an an an an an an an an an angry. And I'm normally normally a position to, I'm gonna fucking end him. And that's that's what I was, I know and looking back that's insane, but at the time it meant everything. That's all I had. I wanted to get, I wanted a five minute spot up that club in nine months time. It meant the world. It meant the world. Anyway, that's Ada and she's two. Who was that? Who was that?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Aver and so. What's Aver? Any where she from Ada? Ada? No location, I'm afraid. No information, just two. Just two. And her family are Johnny, Sarah and Leo four. I haven't got much to tell you today, Rob. I'm hung over. Yeah, you text me. He said said said said said said said said said said th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's the the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. theto today to-day Rob. I'm hung over. Yeah, you text me, he said you was drunk at a Christmas market. I was drunk at a Christmas market, Rob. So is everything going all right in Cassadale Widdocom? What do you mean? Like, you're going out to places getting drunk at market? The kids were there. I wasn't implying you I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
Starting point is 00:04:26 have you got a problem because you're drinking Christmas markets? No, but the fact that you reacted like that implies that you have. Well, I, when I'm hungover I'm very fragile emotionally. I am all over the shop. Yeah, I about in a minute and I've been so I as an emotionally vulnerable as I get at the moment I'm really open Josh and so are you this could be a real revealing episode. I didn't think I'd be that hungover I probably had two mold wines and two mold wines and I feel fucking dreadful. What so you had that did you have lot. Three mulled wines. Two mold wines and three mulled wines. Three pints and you are a bit of a lightweight anyway I find. No you don't need to you don't need to add that. Sorry, I don't have to bring that. Yeah, but it's just for people to get perspective
Starting point is 00:05:13 on it. Yeah, they know. Because there might be some geeseers listening to geck the building site being secret they just pretend they listen to loads of laddy ones yeah and they'll be like oh you look at this into Becker there you're a magic spun though talking about Lee Endry like on holiday shit in in a bucket yeah not not like sensitive dad to books crying stuff do you know me it's a Steve Clarage episode actually still still out there magic sponge if you want to give that listen and give Dave some money I won't receive any of it got paid a fee worst decision of the the fee. Never do a podcast when you get paid a fee much better to be reading out adverts of things you don't understand which we don't do on this podcast no exactly but I can imagine other people might I've I've listened to off menu they have never
Starting point is 00:06:03 come on boys well it just matches their guests never never it no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they to they they to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to Off-Many, they have never, oh come on, come on boys. Well it just matches their guests, the road of the guests never heard of the product. Lui Tharu episode where I slagged him off. Did he, A-Cast? I think me, you, Gamble and A-Caster should meet up and have a fight. And I reckon it would be a good match. And I think I think they might be, well I don't know, Gamble and Acaster are rich. But he's like a great day and he's got a long reach and he has got sicked mode, Acaster, he can lose it, he can lose it in front row, not physically, but he's got a little bit of anger, but he's from Kettering so he can have a bit I reckon. Ed Gamble is a big guy though he's like a big guy thi. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's a thi, he's a big, he's a big, he's a big, he's a big, he's a big, he's a big, he's a th. He's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's a th, he's a th, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He's th, he's a th, he's a th, he's a th, he's a thi, he's a thi, he's a thi, he's a thi, he's got a thi, he's got a thi, he's got a that's got a that's got a that's got a thi, he's got a thi, he's got a thi, he's got, he out now does he? And he's got diabetes and I don't know what the rule is about beating someone up with diabetes. Is it like someone with glasses? No, I think it's alright. As long as you don't attack them with a flum, do you know what?
Starting point is 00:06:52 I mean? While he's shooting up, he's shooting up. Yeah, I call it's shooting up or injecting. I've never seen him inject his blood sugar levels. When I've seen. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, thin, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. Yeah, he's th. Yeah, he's th. Yeah, I'm th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not, I'm it. I've seen him do that I think he's lying. It's always been fine. If anyone's seen Ed Gamble check his blood sugar levels they've been different let us know. We do the sorty non-sougry sugary non-sugry let us know. If you've seen a non-suggery gamble. I think it will be an even fight I think what it may end up in is me having to fight Acaster and Gamble. Yeah, I don't think I don't think I'm the strong link in our team. No, but I'm from South East London. I can't lose a fight to James Acaster or Gamble. I'll never be able to show my face. I'll have to they'll have to kill me, they'll have to nail me the to to to to the floor me to the floor me to the floor me to the floor me to the floor me the floor me to to the floor me to the floor to to the floor to to to the the to nail me to to nail me to to nail me to nail me to to to to nail me the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to know me to know me to know me to know me to know me to know me to know me to nail me to nail me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. tie. tie. the. tiea tiea. tiea tiea tiea the a tiea tiea tiea te. te. te. te. the. the an tea syringes boom boom boom he's down anyway sorry what was you talking about to the market yes you got a bit drunk Jesus Christ what is wrong with me okay so you got a bit drunk at the Christmas market yeah it's very nice yeah took the kids my daughter met up with her friends so they've got some
Starting point is 00:08:00 friends she's got one of them still at nursery with her and there's two of them are still the others that are in the gang they've left left they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their they they to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. their their the the the the they. the they're they. they're they're they're they. they're they're the nursery with her, and then there's two of them are still at the nursery and then two others that are in the gang. They're not in a gang, they're not like an e9 crew or over the gang. No, no, no, they're not here. They're not ghetto boys or anything with Bethel. No, I'm not the threats. nice and they basically just hugged each other for about 45 minutes and we're really excited and then we had a couple of drinks and then we went home and then I went to bed at 10 p.m. Rob I had had two pints of water and I still feel like a piece of shit and then what time did you get up? What time did I get up? I got up at oh ten past five. Okay so that's the new waking up time now from half four? Well, he'd be already fed by that point with Rose, so he's still getting up at half four? Well, it's very erratic. It's all over the shop at the moment.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Anyway, so I got up. So when you say erratic, what you mean is when you take him out, to the day and put him to bed, the today, to be....... I I I I I, to say, to say, to say, to say, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, the the the the the the the th. too, that, too, they, they, they, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they, they, they, they, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the. the. So, thr. the. the. th thooooooo. So, they. So, th. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, th. late, he wakes up about five minutes later, but if you go to bed normally you still wake up at all four for a three. I'll be honest with you, I've never known someone who's, oh sorry, my phone's gone off. Are you answering it? No, no, no, no, I turned it off. All right, his daytime has... I'm never known someone who's day time. I'm sorry, there's actually, we interrupt, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the the noise to is? Yeah, yeah, exactly. We could have just rolled over that, but bloody out. Anyway, I've never known someone whose daytime has less... I'm sorry, man, there's just someone
Starting point is 00:09:29 at the... I'm talking... Just no, you've never known someone. Who's daytime has less effect on the night? Like, it couldn't... It makes no difference what happens. No, I think, you don't mean to ring mom again dear. No, I'd rather not. Okay, cool. You don't need some more home truths coming at you at any doors. Do you know what? I'm enjoying these mornings? I'm enjoying these mornings. What, the 5? What, the 5? Because he's very chilled out. So I go in, the tap. tap. train. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to th. th. th. th. th. th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. the th. thin. the. thin. thin. the. the. thin. the. the. thin. the. the. the. the., I go in at 10 past 5, turn on the light. He's happy with the light for 20 minutes without me doing anything. So I basically sit on my phone for 20 minutes and look on my phone while he's wak.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Okay, so he's been fed, been put back on his cop, he's awake. So, why'd you have to, why don't you just lay in bed and he's lying there and wait till he cries. He's crying out for someone to come in but turning on the light is enough. Oh okay sorry, yeah and then you just sit there while he just rolls about a walk. He's got a nice armchair in his room. So I sit there. He sleeps on that. Oh no, you're sorry. Maybe that's the problem.
Starting point is 00:10:36 He's like Frazier's dad. But, um, so... Me and Rosa are in the front room in a bed, like the grandparents on Willy Wonka. So then, then we get up about half five, go downstairs, put him in his high chair, he just plays with the toys that I put on his high chair, I put on a podcast, have a cup of tea, interact with him, interact with him time, interact with him. Lovela, lovely. You said that like a robot boy who's trying to learn how to be human. Interact with him.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Yeah, it's a parenting tip I got of Jimmy Carr. Russell Crane still working on it. So, interact with him, do my allotted interactions. But it's great, I just sit there, have a cup of tea. He's really happy. Apart from the fact no one else is up, once you get past the 6 a.m. Other people are awake so you can watch up them. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:41 I think if you've got kids, if the household wakes up at 6 a.m. it ain't the end of the world, especially when they get older and got a guy's school. Not at all. So, but it's horrible, isn't it, waking up at 6 a minute? It's so horrible. It's so good place. Well, I go back to bed as well, Rob. And I enjoy going not too bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I just hate getting up early. I'd if it was no, if there was no one else in my life, I'd be up at 10 a.m. every day. Yeah, it's panic-in-In'-doseing when I have the last night. body clock is. That's what my natural body clock is yeah. Two I am. Oh God I'd love that. And what would you be doing between midnight and two a. Anything I want? What's her natural body clock? Watching a bit of tele, documentary probably thank you a gang to war zone? Is Louis bed by that point in your dream scenario? What's her natural what she's doing in her house? In my house? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. she's doing in her house in my dream scenario. No, no, no, no, Lou doesn't have to be there but we start up a couple of glasses of wine
Starting point is 00:12:52 watch something together. She normally would, her natural body clocks probably a midnight is to seven in the most, seven or eight. Yeah. That's her vibe, which I think more normal isn't it? Anyway, but I sleep that, I'll prefer that. But no, though, at the moment the dog wakes up at R5. Lou goes down, so walks it out, tries to get him back on his crate, doesn't, cries, wakes all the kids up, she's up. Who cries the dog or Lou? their dog or their leg is a tho'er, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, both, andthey have four, don't they? What's an arm and what's a leg? If they're sat up, surely a leg's an arm, isn't it? If you walk through out on all floors, four.
Starting point is 00:13:29 If you walk around the floor? Yeah, rather than levitating. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nesprasso. Discover a world of possibilities. With or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or an espresso boutique near you. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students.
Starting point is 00:14:20 A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $499 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. I don't even know what I was going to say. Oh, yeah. Oh, why if we were single? What would your sort of dating? I wouldn't go online.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I'd be too worried about people's screen grabbing it. Could you imagine if you became a meme? Your my single friend became an ongoing meme around the world? Well the thing is, if that did happen, I wouldn't be able to move from this area because it's where my kids are, right? So I wouldn't want to date anyone around here because I went to school and grew up around here so did Lou, or we know everyone, so it'd be awkward. So I think what I would do is I would Google other divorced celebrities and find one about my age and message and go, look, should we just, will this work? Okay, I'm just googling, divorced celebrities.
Starting point is 00:15:21 To see what the options are. thirties. Okay, these what the options are. Mid-30s. Okay, these are the people. Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian, she went out, she's gonna have a comedian with a big mouth, maybe I could be her next one. Who's the comedian? That's a lot of hassle though, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:15:34 Katie Holmes? You don't have to do with cruise on the pickup. God. Because you know it's like when you're ried, there's a lot of kids moving about here and there and you all have to be there with the dad of your stepkids. Yeah, exactly. Angelina Jolie. I think it's come up with, I should have put UK really, shouldn't I? I was thinking more like Jemmer Collins really.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Anyway, what we talked? Anyway, what we together. We love each other, we're just talking hypothetically. Why is there an article on Cosmopolitan called The Biggest Celebrity Breakups of 2021 so far? I don't know, but I'm into it. Who are they? Camilla Cabello?
Starting point is 00:16:17 Oh yeah, I know. broke up with Shaw Mendez. She's in, uh, these people are. She's in Cinderella. She's actually in a work colleague. You can admit her on set. I did meet her on set. She gave you a number when every in Miami, come and hang out. And I was like, as if I'm going to be in Miami. You've got her number. Yeah. So the number one celebrity. And you've got a number one celebrity. Oh my God, yeah I do, yeah. What are you trying to suggest that I text Camilla Cabal and say, look, hypothetically, if
Starting point is 00:16:48 I was... No, but she's too young, she's only about 22. Yeah, that's the issue, Rob. That's the problem. That's why it wouldn't work. Okay. I don't know. This is awful. these people are, I'm 400 years old. Tell me the other celebrity of. The number two split up. I've never heard of either of these. Go on.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Chase Stokes and Madeline Klein. I don't know. They sound like two solicitors. American Hot Shot lawyers in the John Grisham. I don't know who he is. No. He's in a Netflix thing. Hea Gerbo. Gerber and Jacob Elorady. Why, am I, am I living on a different planet these times?
Starting point is 00:17:30 I don't know they, are they? I thought it was gonna be like Denise Ranoughton. Like what? No, she's happily married. Oh, that's not the problem. But, I've never heard of any of these people. Zane Malik, thank you and Gigi had did. Right, thank God for that. I'm not the 700.
Starting point is 00:17:49 No. All right, who the hell is Giovanni Pernice and Mara Higgins? Oh Mara Higgins? She was on Love Island and Giovanni was in Strictly. Yeah, that's a good, you. Grimes and Elon Musk, right, I understand that. Fine. Grimes? Yeah, you know, Grimes. Oh, yeah, sorry, I thought, isn't there a rapper called Grimes? Oh my God, we are 600 years old. Isn't there a rapper with that name? It's the worst, oldest thing anyone could ever say. In my defense, there's Gets and there's gigs and I said it was Grimes, but Grimes is Elon is Elon is Elon is Elon is Elon is But then there's a rapper called Dave, so I don't know where I am. I don't know where.
Starting point is 00:18:28 This is pathetic. We are two of the most pathetic men who've ever lived, and Ed Gamble and James A. Castor could beat the shit out of us, let's be honest. No way I'd rather die. I went on a school tour today. Oh did you? Yeah, were you thinking about reading recent exams? I'm gonna even say it. I'm the one that's hungover. Go on.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Yeah, go on, sorry. You went to say? Yeah. How was it all right? Yeah. I didn't feel I had enough questions to ask. I started to get a bit competitive. Unnecessary questions.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Yeah. Like what? Like, do the after school clubs apply to the nursery? I wasn't even to plan on spending my child to the nursery? No, so she's going into reception. I was just looking for the questions. So they said, I was asked us all clubs, a reception class. You said, does that apply to the nursery? Why did you care?
Starting point is 00:19:27 Because I felt like I needed to ask something because no one was asking any questions and I felt awkward. Yes, I find that. I don't know if it's because we're comedians, but I find it if everyone's quiet, I always ask questions. she's used to children not answering questions but part of me was going she's dying on her answer. Is it weird I want to know the answer now? There isn't after school clubs for nursery but they are considering bring it in.
Starting point is 00:19:50 There's been a lot of interest. It ain't happening. We've had your kids till free I can't have an afternoon off is basically what they said. There's been a lot of interest they said people asking but I didn't want to say well I'm only to to to to to to to to to know to know to to know to the to know I want to know I want to know I want to know I want to know I want the their w want to know I want their w want their w want to know I want to know I want their wo their w. I want their wo their wo. I want I want I want I want their w. I want I want their w. I want their w. I want their w. I want their w. I want their their w. I want I want I want the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their. I want their. I want their. I want their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm the said. There's been a lot of interest they said, people asking, but I didn't want to say, well, I'm only asking because I felt I should ask a question. So please don't mark me down as interested. Don't set it up on my behalf. Please don't feel like that's the tipping point that means you need to start it. But is this the one you're going to think, you're going to go to this is when you move to the area to get to is in it because it was to be very nice local school and we very much enjoyed to the tour it was very nice
Starting point is 00:20:29 I really enjoyed it they've got chickens no I wasn't I just eat a I hate a crumb I hate a crumb I had a crumb I had a crum a true I think a try to their to the to the the crube I I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe at at toe at toe at to to to to the to toe on it earlier during a last leg meeting. There was a crumb and I thought I'm back. You got other stuff on, don't rub it in my face. Yeah, because you're not. It's a horn and cordonness. Yeah. I imagine James Cordon's heard of all of those people, to be honest. You've got to know who that is a tough job that way. Because like, you know, the thing is, right, you've got to know everyone if you're the presenter of a late night talk show in America, right? But it does get to the point where your brain cannot fit in, oh, Chase and Stephanie over
Starting point is 00:21:10 they were. And all of a sudden, oh my God, we got them and he's got like quickly Wikipedia and pretend to be exciting. It is. Because it's like a 14-year-old's-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, to-a-in-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, th-a-s, th-s, I, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. Yeah, th-s. And, th-a-s. C. C. C. C. C. We's-s. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. tha-s. C. ta in our industry I would want less than hosting a chat show where you get people coming on and promoting stuff because I just don't care. Josh, we have pushed five different books over five hundred books. Yeah, but I care about these people. And let's be honest, Rob, we're not pushing the fucking books.
Starting point is 00:21:38 We're just talking to me about parenting and mentioning their book. But to sit there, while some Hollywood person to tell me about their book. But to sit there, while some Hollywood person told me about their fucking film that I don't want to watch. I would go, he's tough in it. I'm sorry Ben Affleck, I couldn't give a shit mate. Oh I like Ben Affleck. No, I haven't got a problem with Ben Affleck. Yeah, I know, but I would like, I would care about his film. Oh, mate. I don't want to hear about his film. Tell me about your life. I don't want to hear your pre-prepared anecdote about what life on set was like. Graham Norton and Jonathan Ross are fucking magicians, mate. They are incredible. It is tough.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And called and let them and all them, it's especially in America, it's every night. Oh, fuck that. I tum it. Imagine sitting like tonight Josh sit on your sofa at 11 p.m. and just imagine now there was 300 people in that room and and Chase and Stephanie whoever they are have to talk to them. I imagine the depth you'd have to go for that energy. Right first things first I don't know who you are who Who are you? That's my first question. Second question, do you support a football team? Because I'd be interested to talk to you about that?
Starting point is 00:22:51 Oh dear. Anyway, I don't think we need to worry that much about an American talk show to say. It's not an issue in my career. I don't think we're getting pushed on it. For clarity, I went on the school to the door the door to the door to to the door the door to to to the door is the door is the door is the door is still the door is still to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes. the the thoome. I the their their thoome. Dooome. Dooome. Dooom. Dooom. Dooom. Dooom. Do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their tool is s s' tooloomorrow is still. Sea. Sea. Soomorrow is s s'eroomea. Sea. Schooling. Schooling. Schooling. tooloomea. Scoomea. Sc. I is still. I don't think we're going to push for that. I haven't turned one down. Anyway, right, so I went on the school top. The door's still open essentially. The door is still open. I love, do you know what I'd love? You'd end up doing a talk show one day, a chat show, and they play this back to you. Yeah, well having to listen to Ronona Ryder tell me about a new bloody Netflix series. Can I can I make a public statement that I would love to host a chat show? Of course you would be much better than me because you're interested in people a bit more than you. I'm interested in people just not those people. Okay. If they allowed me to book it myself...
Starting point is 00:23:45 Oh, that's too much effort. I mean, no one to come. No one would watch it. We got someone from... We got Blurze-Rodey on next week. Yeah. Who have you got? Snook a player Steve Davis. Again.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Again. W. Pat Sharp doing four weeks in a row. He's got great energy, guys. Always delivers. Exactly. Right, what are we talking about? What are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:24:19 This is weird. I did a school trip. Yeah, I've got a school trip. I think it went well. I mean, you kind of, the question you want to ask is, could we like, I know we've got to go through Hackney council, but you'll let me in, you, come on, they can't, they can't just do a live acceptance of people's. they're allowed in. Oh my God. That's their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their, their, their, their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. th. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the to. They've got no power to let you in. Imagine if they did and lined all the kids up and then read out they're allowed in or not. Oh my God. That would be horrible.
Starting point is 00:24:48 It's like the... I'd watch it though if it weren't my kids. Would you? I would watch it if it was like, if it was those horrible people, I feel sorry for them. If those horrible people and horrible kids, I'd that, I'd, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. tho, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're tho, they're tho, they're, they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all all all all all all all all all they're all all tho, tho. they're all all all all they're all all all they're all tho. they're all all all all they're all they're all all they'reing to you know the kind of Ryan Seagrave or whatever he's called because he's hosting it on Netflix. Sechrest? Seagrave? I don't know what he's called I was pretty impressed that I got him from anywhere. I know I can really hit a feel you search him for an American TV host. Can we stop talking about the TV show you're not going to host? Okay of course. Now go on truck. What else? Sorry you've got to?
Starting point is 00:25:30 You tell me what you've been up to? That's all I've got really, Rob. All I've got is I'm hung over. Yeah. And I went on a school tour. Literally I haven't done any, I've been working loads loads so we've had other the very busy week actually parenting don't rub it in but because it's been birthdays in it so we had birthdays and we went and I've got to talk about Lapland I went to Lapland I went to Lapland in Ascot Josh it's like a immersive theatrical experience of visiting Lapland and meeting Father Christmas right and what I would say is if you are listening to this with kids, maybe listen when they're not being able to hear it as a bit of, so I can talk properly about it from parent to parent. Turn off now, if you don't want your kids to hear Rob talking about his trip to visit
Starting point is 00:26:14 Father Christ's. Sexual experience that you've had. Oh, that beard tickled. But yeah, so here's the little ones that if you're listening, because, I you know I'm not going to go into great detail but stuff might slip out as I'm chatting. Anyway we went to Ascot to do this thing and it is the best thing I've ever done with my kids okay I'm not getting paid to say this even an advert we just paid ourselves to go and it's like so we you can pay in November I think it midweek it's like 59 pounds per person yeah obviously
Starting point is 00:26:50 that goes up so we we pay because we went on a Saturday the only day I could go we ended up paying 135 pound per person and I think it might even be a little bit higher in that like Christmas Eve obviously because the closer you get to Christmas so it's very expensive I'm not trying to dispute that but if you th I I I I th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I the the thi. the thi. I thi. the. the. the. the the the the theeeeeeeeeeee. I thi. I thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi you get to Christmas. So it's very expensive. I'm not trying to dispute that. But if you box clever, you can go in November midweek for about 59 pounds, I think per person. But I genuinely think it's worth the money for what you get. You may disagree, but I thought it was amazing. Especially if you've got what I would suggest, don't take any kids younger and three. Three years and older is good because they can understand what's going on. You're wasting your money really, I think if they're younger and free.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Do you know that's what I thought? You know when Boris Johnson went to Pepper Pig world? Yeah. It's kids 18 months? What the fuck's that kid getting out of that? Yeah, but he's, he don't see him very often very often, he's he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You know, th. You know, th. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're th. You're him enough, too busy at parties, Christmas parties getting slant. Too busy getting on it downstairs. In my own flat. In my own flat. At party, I didn't know that in my own flat. Don't, don't, oh, go.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Oh, fuck, shit. Sorry, I should get that out. Back to Christmas. So anyway, but what you're doing, if you've got a kid that hasn't started school yet, you could take a midweek like the day they're not in nursery or if they're not in nursery. Anyway, so basically what you get, you sort of go in and basically everyone, there's those elves everywhere and they commit to the part like Disney. It's like properly admitted to it. And I won't ruin it for you, but you go in, it felt like you you, you you, you you, you you, you you, you that you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you're to, you're to get, you're to go, you're to, you're to, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you get, you get, you get, to get, to get, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi and there's like a big performance between these twelves they set this story up you get sent a beautiful invitation from Father Christmas that you give the kids you put the letter in
Starting point is 00:28:30 the freezer so it's all cold so it feels like it's come from the and they're all with it the kids are all fully with this and then you get there and there's these elves that it's all so magical and it feels and it's the their their th and it's th and it's th I th and it's th and it's their thi and it's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. And it's thr-I thr-I thi. thrown the the tho-I I's all tho-I I's all th th thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their th their their their th thi. thi. thi. thr-I thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thr-I thrown that's thrown thrown the. the., and you go for it, but for that money, you get like an immersive theatrical experience the whole time. You go into one like toy making department thing and you make this toy and then you go into another room and you make ginger bread which you can eat and then there's, they're singing and performances. And then you go into this big village area where there's ice skating that's free and you can go on it in in in in in in want and there's all different shops so we can get food and drinks and stuff and then you go through and then visit Father Christmas and it was thrown. It was in there for about 10-15 minutes it was like it was like being a room with Puccino. Really? And that's all I was saying it so we don't go too much to about I was just like I felt like I felt I was just just just just just just just just just I felt I was just just the I felt I was just just just the th. I felt I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just I was just th. I was just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just like. I was just like I felt like I was just in the moment proper my kid I've never seen my kids faces do this the way they were just like it it
Starting point is 00:29:30 was like they were actually in the middle of like magic honestly and I'm sounded of I'm being a bit sort of thinking but honestly I was just I nearly cried about five times and they were so and it's so well done that when you're in this sort of foresting you can't there's not even a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the the the the to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the th. th. th. I th. I'm the the the th. I'm the the the the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeee. thee. the. the. the. the. I the. thimes and they were so and it's so well done that when you're in this sort of foresting you can't, there's not even a gap in the in the trees at all. You are in Lapland as far as you're concerned and the kids are concerned and they've got rain deer and they've got huskies and you get and you fill out a little form and he knows everything about the kids so Freddy can't get them and they were like, who's Freddy? My dog, my dog, my dog, Josh. Oh my word. Also the toy that they made earlier in the day, they secretly give you at the end which you then put under the tree. So then it completes the full circle of magic. Oh my word. so thii thi this year? I think so, yeah probably, it's
Starting point is 00:30:26 probably very expensive. It's cheaper if you book it like, that goes on sale in like January, it sells out every year. And we actually bumped into the couple that run it and they are so lovely and they're so into it and it's such a passion project. They're not, you meet some some people sometimes you go, oh yeah you've got a good business but they are just,'s all about the experience and they were they were lovely but I say I've none of this is I've paid all my way for this I'm not saying this as a favor I promoted my local primary school Rob I thought they were very good exactly and they take photos you get about five or six different photos of the kids, we couldn't have had more fun. It was it was incredible. And you know, you can spend, you know, sometimes 25 quid per person on Panto.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Another 20, 10 15 quid on visiting Father Christmas. Ice skating can sometimes come to about 40, 60 quid for a family. You're an ice skating. Exactly. I mean, that's probably 40 quid at least isn't it maybe more. I know I've agreed that I'm not going to do any ice skating. Okay well 30 quid but I did I skate with my kids actually. Oh can I let you know what but when I was there There was a couple of famous people there Josh Amelia Fox the actress from silent witness was there Anthony Joshua was there Russell came not ice skating so just that you know that you're gonna be on the side of Russell Kane. I was ice skating. Anyway, but like I say, it's very pricey, but if you box clever and book an adveraged, you can get it cheaper, but I can't,
Starting point is 00:31:49 that was the best thing I've ever sent my kids to. Like, you sometimes spend a tenor taken into a like a gingerbread making class as Christy. All this is in one place. but it was a proper full day out and they absolutely loved it. So I would massively... It was honestly incredible, but I'd definitely look it up. I'd say for you though, you want to go this year because your boy is still can be carried around and it's not gonna get in the way. I'd actually say you might be better off waiting for him to be three
Starting point is 00:32:17 because it might be more of a pain in the ass taking him. Yeah. When he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thi. I'd thin' thin' thin' thigh. I'm thr, thr, thr, tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr. thr. thr. thou'eeeeeaa'ea'ea'ea'er's thoooooooooooooooooo I don't care where they are you know I mean thing about me going this year is you've done so much promo for them that they'll probably give me mine free So they should if they want to get in touch That'd be ideal they did I've paid for mine which I'm that's fine I know the moment. But I'm always think it's fair. But I'm always always the they they they they they they they they they that's that's that's that's they that's that's they that's that's they that's that's they they. I'm they. I'm that's they. I'm that's that's that's th. You're they. You're more th. You're more th. You're more their their their their their their their their. You their. You their. You their. You their. You their. You their. You their. You they. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. I've the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th it's fair to... Rob's giving you a lot of free promo, so if... I know, but the honity, I want, because that's because I want listeners to go and enjoy it, and it was brilliant. Like, we do have an agreement on here. We do not, we do not flog anything that we don't sort of believe in. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:57 Yeah. We're not even getting paid for that. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. I would like to bring up if you're an adult at ice skating using a penguin, you are a fucking disgrace, get off the ice and give a kid a penguin. As my three-year-old is falling ass over tear, and some 35-year-old geyser with a penguin, I was like, you fucking moron, do one. And also, oh God, was in a ball ball ball ball ball, ba balls for the tree. Someone instantly smashed theirs. I was like, oh God, they've had a nightmare. My kid dropped, they both dropped theirs. So I bought four, took two home. But they wouldn't even charge me for it. They wouldn't charge me for the drop one. Oh, that's just part of being a child. That is part of being a child. It also shows quite how cheap a bobble is at cost price. Yeah, the children. Yeah. But. But. But. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the the the the the the the the the this trip to a 17 year old child or person.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Yeah, their children. Basically, I'm on the ice and it's so painful on your back being hunched over a penguin with your kid on the penguin, trying to help him with the penguin, right? My back was gone and the ice skates were hurting my feet. You know what it's like ice, their skin is horrible, it's horrible, it's horrible, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the, I'm going around the ice right and as I'm going around the ice I'm slipping and push my kid on a penguin and someone goes someone off the ice says excuse me can you come here and I have a photo and I shouted are you fucking mental? I mean I'm the one ice skating and they want me to go over there! Oh god! But yeah you can't do that on the, not on the ice.
Starting point is 00:34:30 No, you can't do that on the ice. You can't do that on the ice. How excited are your kids for Christmas, Rob? Very excited. I mean, we've had one birthday birthday, which is I was under a bit of pressure though because I'm a classic dad with a recycling and they're opening their birthday presents 7 a.m. and the bin man comes 720. I've got a bag out for paper I've recycled me yeah just I have another present because recycling is coming if you want to just reach up please. You don't want to do on that hanging around for a week. Oh not a Christmas coming up it never ends Oh, don't talk to me about recycling around Christmas, mate.
Starting point is 00:35:06 My bin situation's getting out of the tent. We are considering a further bin. What a ninth? We need, but we don't need it all year. We need a ninth over the festive period. Festive bin? We need a festive bin. We've already got eight bins? And that's not enough? I think Lou's got a problem.
Starting point is 00:35:25 So where are you going to get your new bin? Well, probably should probably get it delivered. Like everything else in our fucking house. The phone doesn't stop ring door, the doorbell thing, you know the doorbell thing? You know the door, you can see someone at your door. It doesn't stop all day. No. No. Just buzzing in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in the in the in their buzzing in their buzzing in their buzzing in their buzzing in their bursing in their bursing in their bursing in their busting their bursing in their ba. their bl. their b- their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their. their their their. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's absolutely incredible how much stuff can get bought and delivered. But I think what they should do is, I think going forward they deal with the cardboard. What do you mean, the guy that delivers it? Yep. What's who unrap it there and then? And give it to him back? That's my plan for the future. Oh, that's not a bad idea. And they can they can recycle the guy the guy th th th th th th th th th th th tho th th tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat the. the. theat theat the. the. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that. that. that. that. that. the. the. theat. to theat. I theat. I toeat. I toe. I theat. I to theat. I theat. I they're they're they're they're they're the future. Oh, that's not a bad idea. And then they can recycle it properly. Because you know, we get told off, it gets wet,
Starting point is 00:36:06 there's no way to storage. Some people burn it, I know people burn it. You're not allowed to burn it. You're not allowed to burn it. You're not allowed to burn it. People just let it get wet. I think that's a great idea. Do you agree? I totally agree. I don't know if I totally trust Amazon to do the right thing. What makes you say that? There's something about their track record that worries me, but apart from that, you know. They might do. I'll just give Bezos a text. Give Bezos a text. He's in my celebrity divorce.
Starting point is 00:36:41 the phone. He's a thi. Celebrity divorcee phone boom. Actually, I don't want to marry Jeff Bezos. I might marry his ex-wife. Half the money, but half the issues. Half the problem. You don't want to have to go into space with your husband, do you, Rob? That's the last thing you want. Last thing you want. Right, should we do some Instagrams and then some small business shoutouts? Yes. doubt outs. Yes, more tired than Josh. I've got more tired than Josh. Oh yeah, go on,
Starting point is 00:37:05 hit me. Hi, Rob and Josh, I listen to you from rural, upstate New York, about 200 miles north of New York City, baby. How many? 20? 200 miles. That's not rural New York. Hi, I live in rural North London in the Midlands. Just by Villa Park. Yeah they asked of it. When my eldest was about two months old, I rocked him to sleep in my arms in his bedroom. I decided to clip his finger now's why he slept. First four fingers went fine. Oh, sorry, I just had a text there. Oh, yes, you're going to deliver to my ass. I get it. Sorry, it beeps into my ears. I'm getting trolled by delivery men. I, the first four fingers went fine, but I clipped his thumbmail too short.
Starting point is 00:37:49 I instantly started bleeding and he woke up and had that silent wide eye look that comes just before a big scream. Oh my God. I just, I jumped out of the rock art. I didn't know where I planned to go, I just leapt. In that moment that moment that moment that moment that moment that moment that moment my surroundings and managed to bolt my baby's head on the shelf that was beside me.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Oh God, oh God. Oh God. Fack! In reaction to his head, I tried to sit back down, but misjudged and sat on the arm of the rocker, instead of the sea, the rocker tipped over and we t I stayed on the floor, both of us crying as my husband rushed upstairs. Oh my God, that is amazing. That's incredible. The baby was fine. His thumb stopped bleeding quickly and he didn't even get a bruise from the shelf. I can laugh at it now, but in the moment sleep deprived and hormonal, I was sure I was the worst mom ever. Those days are rough, Shannon. They are rough. They are rough. See like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that is that is that is that is that is that's that days are rough those early days are rough Shannon they are rough they are rough see like that what that's the stage we're at now we're actually we've got it quite easy the kids go to school my youngest is that isn't in school a week but she starts all week from September so like we're over that horrible early start of it
Starting point is 00:38:59 but in the morning's Josh my house is just screaming I feel like I'm moving into a new territory of parenting now, which is like children. We're no babies, there's no tot- I've got children. And a dog. And I don't know if it's girls and Lou, but all we do in the morning, it's just like a massive row, it's so dysfunctional. I don't know if it's normal or not, it's just screaming at a screaming, or thua, or thua, thua, thua, thin, thin, thin, thin, I, thin, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, t t t t t t to, togu. togu. th. tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-a, there, there, toys. I don't want to wear it. Are you? Or is it a three is a triangular screamathon with Lou and or is it all for? What I would say is I I bring I bring a little bit of composure to the party because the three of them can get to a quite a heated escalation of just arguing. I find I'm chilled. I'm totally lose it. Loo. Loo the level a level a level a level a level a level a level a level a level of a level. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. Is a th. Is a th. Is a th. Is a th. Is a th. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. th. th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. A. A. A. A. A. th. th. thri. th. thri. th. th. thri. th. th. thri. th. th. thri. th. th. th. th. th. th and then I totally lose it where Lou will lose it a little not
Starting point is 00:39:46 as bad as I'll totally lose it but like constant level of lose it just a constant level of lose just about I get their shoes and I get their shoes and I'll like no you go and get the shoes and then I'll like no you go and get the shoes and they shoes they's the she'd they the shoes but when she brings back the shoes I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they they they they they'll the they'll their their they their they they their they'll they're they're their their their their they they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their I I I I I I I I I I I I'll their I'll their I'll their their their their their their their to their their they. their they. they they their they they they. they're just they're they're they're their they're the you go and get the shoes. And Lou goes and has got the shoes, because you didn't hear me say that the kid had to get the shoes. And then when she brings back the shoes, she went to see, I told you I was going to get my shoes. And it's all that. They're getting bright, they're getting cleverer, and that I'm it was to sleep, but now it's the mental games. Yeah, oh my God. So if anyone else has got kids that are at school going age, let me know, do you, are
Starting point is 00:40:29 your, are your mornings just a massive row? And then out there, some days they're fine, but some days it's like Juldy Shaw. Like you know when they get in from a night out in Jolishore. at the moment so let me know hopefully I'm not the only one that's happening to but yeah let us know because it's carnage Josh I actually think it'll be quite nice just have a baby in a hi-chair but which you'll rebuke and say you're a madman but at this stage actually feels that the easier I do think I'm at quite an easy stage with him because he's not crawling yet yes when I run about so he but he's not needing to be carried to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to to be a to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the stuff. But he's not needing to be carried around. So you're at a stage where that 45 minutes to an hour, or I spend downstairs with him in the morning, is actually pretty chilled out time.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Okay, that's good. And when they start walking? I know. That's your death sentence, isn't it? The worst bit, the worst bit of parenting for me in terms of sheer boredom is the the the the the the the the the the the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theate that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's of parenting for me in terms of sheer boredom is the stage where they drag stuff up and down stairs. When they're about two and they've got like a pram or something and they're just dragging it up and down some steps and then they're going up and they're going up and they're going up and down. And they're going up and down. You have to be there because you're worried about them falling, but it's their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're their. You. You. You're their. You. You. You're their. You're their. their. their. their their their their their their, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the the the the falling, but it's the most boring game in the world to you. That's the most boring stage. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Because there's no danger anymore. You haven't got to be on it. No. You just got to pretend to care about this stupid buggy up and down the stairs. Yeah, I'd say they're great from at this stage about now. And both my the kids the kids th their th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, than, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. tho, tho, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooan, at the moment and I'm trying to enjoy that. Yeah you should well that's the thing as well like because I've had a really busy week it's been stressful but then today in the nativity I was like you had a stressful morning you've got a stressful week but in this moment now you are having one of those magical memories of just it's just you in a room watching your daughter in this nate. the the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th is is is in th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is just in a th at th is just in a th is just in a three. It is just in a thus I'm in a three. It's just is just is just is just is just is just is just in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th is in a th at th at th at th at th at th at th at thus. Iturned up. No, but like, it's so much like you have to nuclear bunker your brain and go,
Starting point is 00:42:28 we are now here and this is my entire world is in here. Forget my, you know, everything else, it's just this and then when I move out of here, I'll be somewhere else, but let's just enjoy think is quite important, isn't it? Or otherwise, you're just, it's a constant roller coaster. On Friday, why don't you tell me about the Nativity? Oh yeah, I've no told us about Nativity probably, have I? Okay, well let's do that. Let's do that, small business shout out. Small business shoutouts.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yes, here we go. and a recent episode and he may think I should write in. I'll tell you that on Friday. Sorry, carry on. It should write. So maybe I think I should write in for a small business shout. I work for a charity and we collect and recycle real Christmas trees in January. All the trees we collect are chipped and used in our local community and the donations made in return. Raise money for our charity. The Kirkwood, a hospice, treehock, tapapapapapapapapapapapapape, to c. to c. to c. to use a website which is also a charity itself and works with the charities across the country who collect the Christmas trees.
Starting point is 00:43:30 If you visit WWD.C.W.D. W. W. It will show you the charities collecting and recycling Christmas trees in your area. Good for your environment and your local community, Katie. Because this is the thing, something like the council say, I'll take it to this local park, but you can't get your tree in your car,
Starting point is 00:43:47 with your kids and your dog and whatever. So if you go on the charity Christmas tree collection dot com website, you literally just put it in and it helps all different local charities around the country. Brilliant look. This collection is ongoing is thiiiiiiiiiiiii, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, thr-a, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, th. tree, the tree, tree, tree, th. tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, t collected and 92,000 pounds raised. I assume that's over the last years and other than some people are getting rid of their tree already. Seems quite anti-Christmas. Yeah, come guys. Let's enjoy Christmas. That's a really good show. try and raise some money. And another good one Rob. I recently started a
Starting point is 00:44:20 charity called Magic Bricks with an X BRIX, WW.w.m.W.m. Magic Bricks.org. We basically source pre-loved Lego and create our own mixed gift boxes which we'll be distributing through a food bank this Christmas to help families in the UK. Oh, that's good. I know Rob is a huge Lego fan and just wanted to reach out to him and Josh and see if we get a mention on their podcast to help spread awareness, help us reach our goal of a hundred boxes. All the best Martin Sands. That is a brilliant charity. That's W.W.W.W.
Starting point is 00:44:52 that's W.W.R.I.X. Also, we should say, Rob. Do sign up to the mailing list because we're just doing a couple of small warm-up shows for the big show at Hackney Empire. So they're in tiny rooms though, so those tickets will go on sale through the mailing list. So sign up there if you want to get those last few tickets available for those warm-up shows. They'll be a bit shambolic, I'm sure, but you know it'll be a fun hour or two of your lives. Yeah just go to the parent in hell Instagram page and in the bio is a link to the email mailing list. Brilliant. See you on Friday. See you on Friday. Bye!

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