Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP1: The boys are back in town...
Episode Date: January 11, 2022S04 EP1: The boys are back in town...We're back! (a little later than advertised) for lots more (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond...This week it's a Christmas and New Years catch-up episode and... it's safe to say things have been 'eventful'...Enjoy. Please rate and review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day
parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course,
tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing.
Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with...
Okay, Bobby, can you say Rob Beckett?
Okay, mommy, can you say Rob Beckett?
Oh, Rob Beckett.
Can you say Josh Whittakum?
Can you say Josh Whittakum?
That's Josh Widdickum.
There we go.
Oh, can that turn the table?
Exactly. That's Poppy who's turned five in December.
Where they live?
You've got the name.
You've got the voices, Rob.
Poppy, where do they live?
That stinks of sort of central London.
Or somewhere posh, they're very confident, middle class.
I think that could be that Islington Media Elite? I'd say half a point. They live in Surrey. Oh okay but I just I got the wrong location but I describe what they are.
Well that is Poppy and this is Holly who is a firefighter in London. Oh and another
firefighter from another station who doesn't have kids got me listening to the
podcast. I was seconding to the London ambulance service during the
pandemic to assist the paramedics and drive the ambulances. the the the th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I........ I........................................................................................... the.. the. the.... the... I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I..ing to the London ambulance service during the pandemic to assist the paramedics and drive the ambulances and this podcast got me
through that hard time. They're not putting it on in an ambulance are they?
It depends not with them not about a passenger is it a patient that's the
word patient? You don't get in and they're like...
And there's someone in there having a heart attack and you pipe up I've had to get a to get a to get a the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tape. I'm tape. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm today. I'm today. I'm the. I'm the, I've had a nightmare morning, had to get a cab to school with the kids in the back.
I tell you what though, I don't want to, I don't want to, start an argument with London
firefighters. However, pandemic, but easy for you guys, not many fires? What's the vibe? We know that, we know that, you know, obviously the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their their their cab, their cab, their their their the, their their the, the, the, their their their their their their their their their to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tape tape tooombs, tooombs, tooombs, tock.k.kab toe, the fires? What's the vibe?
We know that, you know, obviously the NHS are up against it, but what about the fire brigade?
Well, I suppose their friends in their houses?
Are people more likely to set fire to their houses or is the fact that no one's at work, meaning there's less fires?
Let's know any firefighters in just let us know how the pandemic it was for you! Oh Josh! Have ever had to call out the fire service Rob?
I don't think have...
Have you ever dialed 999?
Um, no, fortunately, I've had to ring ambulances in the past for Lou and different family
members, but uh, no, no, never of the fire, never, I've never requested the fire brigade. No, no. Well, you know, you can dream. I, um, I died, I, I've, I've, I've to to to to to to the to to the the to to to the to to to to to the fire, I've to the fire, I've to the fire to the fire to the fire to to call to call the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire the fire th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi toi toiolioliolioliolioliolioluice tooomoomorrow tooomorrow too. too. too. to to the fire th... I've never requested the fire brigade. No, no. Well, you know, you can dream.
I died 999 twice over the Christmas period.
Oh no, really?
But both, because, you know I got a knockoff person to replace my Apple phone screen.
Oh yes, you've had problems of your phone screen, so you've got a weird little fake screen put on it. Yeah, it started dialing 999. It's put dialed up, it's dialed 9-9, it's put me through to the emergency services
twice over Christmas, unintentionally.
So what did you say?
I just said, sorry, my phone's faulty,
I didn't mean to call and then they have to go,
can I just confirm?
They're very nice about. sort of like trapped as a prisoner and you dole alone. Yeah, exactly. They said wink twice.
Well, that wouldn't work obviously because it's on the phone.
Face time.
Face time.
It's the future.
Hello, can I have the fire brigade?
Why?
You're on face times, mate.
Can't you see?
Shed's gone to the
fucking opticians. It's a fire behind me, mate. The shed's gone. It's up. Oh dear. Well
that Josh also as well Josh, you need a new phone and you need a new computer because
I know you're very busy at the moment. I'm not as busy as you. That's why we're early today. You was early by your computer. We were meeting at 10. the 10. ten. the 10. ten. the to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. t. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. today. You was early? Why are your computer? We were meeting at 1030 a.m. to record. It's
now, well, 1040. What happened? It took 13 minutes to boot up? Oh my god. Thirteen fucking
minutes? M.S. Doss? Yeah, I felt like I was on a Commodore 64. Like, it was unbelievable. It's so slow. But I've had this computer longer than I've, I've realized I bought this in my last house so I've had it at least six years. Six years, yeah, and I think as well, considering
your job is podcasting now, that's your main job, isn't it? Go buy a computer. Throughout
Christmas I said I didn't need anything. And here I am, day one of January and I need a new computer. Yeah, but you can't really ask for a brand new computer for Christmas. No, of course not.
Not, I haven't done that since the N64.
Your kids there with a German frozen doll and you've got a brand new, like,
Mac one chip, whether they call it now.
Power chip.
Don't talk to me about the German frozen doll, mate.
Why, what's what happened? So what's that? Should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the???? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th's going on? We were supposed to do a catch-up episode on the 28th,
but we're very sorry that didn't happen,
but I, we, my Christmas, I don't, I've not,
I've not spoken to you, Josh.
Let's start with your Christmas,
because I don't know about this. All I've seen is that you've, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, th.... th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, the, the, that's, that's, the, that's the. the. that, that, the. the. the. th yourself abroad? It was just a lateral flow hell. Oh my
blizzard of actual flows. Oh it's just so basically there was like my aunt I
think we there's a my auntie my auntie got COVID aunt Tina she's absolutely
fine now I think I've not heard anything I'm sure it's fine it's
normally the way with COVID in it they'd you know if it's a f-soaked her. Yeah okay
Anyway so she had COVID and shethen my mom and dad were with her.
Oh. So on the 23rd, so I on the 22nd, no the
we're on the 21st. So I tell you what, go and get yourself a PCR just for say for,
because they was negative on all lateral flows, no symptoms, right? Yeah. So is I, go and get get yourself a PC on the 23rd. So that's it. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, the th. th. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. thirty. thirty-s. t. today. today. today. today. today. th. th. thirty-I. So, th. So, the 24th. So we'll get the result in 24 hours. That's how it works, isn't it? 24th comes, no result. We'll drive up. I'm sure we'll get the result on the way up.
No result. So then they go, all right, we'll see what we do is we'll come up and we'll hand over some presents and stuff at the door in case we've got it. But we'll go home. But the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the their their the their their their their their the then we'll drive up Christmas morning when we got the result.
When we've got the result.
Oh, we'll have the result.
Anyway, testing negative every day.
No symptoms.
Anyway, so they go around my brothers and do the same like hand over the thing because they're
going to see them boxing day.
So wait for the PCR. Anyway, so I get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the to the the the the testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. to the their testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. Testing. testing. Testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing. testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, te. te. te. te. te. te.the PCR result. Anyway, and then, so then we go, we'll just come up and then by the time you can't get
the PCR, no PCR, lateral flow negative, and then so the whole of Christmas we're just like
to, and then eventually got the PCR result, negative, Boxing Day after they've gone.
Oh, mate. So it was fine, it was good, because it was a little the whole, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, negative, it was good, it was was, yeah, but it was fine because,
by a PCR, wait.
But we knew anyway because they're both,
they've been triple jabbed up, they had no symptoms
and they, and it was all negative from the lateral flows.
So we sort of knew, but you know,
but because if we hadn't gone for the PCR, then it would have been ignorance. But anyway, it was just a bit stressful and then we had lose family over and boxing down which was great.
I mean I was absolutely shitfaced for about five days.
And then we went to Tenoreaf on the 28th.
We were supposed to do this recording on the 27th.
And then I just completely forgot because we were packing and sorting out and all that malarkey.
When you texted me to say you couldn't do it, that was the first first I I I I first first first first first remember that. So it was a great Christmas. The kids had a brilliant time, but for the adults it was all a little bit.
And I think everyone felt the same.
I think in reality, I'd say the Christmas was great.
I smashed the dinner.
That was the best dinner.
How did the nibbles go?
Nibbles went well, dinner went well.
To be fair, it was a brilliant Christmas, but also we just put, it was a bit stressful but then in the end we just accepted, we're going off the lateral flow results
and that's all we can do because the PCRs are coming.
I've heard that more sensitive than the, uh, than the PCR's Rob.
Really? Who you've been talking to? I don't know. That's the kind of thing people people say. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. that, that, that people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people, th. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. Look, I've had a quick look at a couple of people on Twitter and they seem to know that
LFT. But now it's all bollows because it's all LFT's anyway, no peace.
Oh, I don't, I don't think people want to hear us talk about COVID.
I don't. Speaking of someone who had it at Christmas, I am walking through the street with a spring of my step, mate. You are the power th. th. th. th. th. th Josh and a kid is not getting re-infected a week after. Honestly mate I could snog Novak
Jockovic and I wouldn't give a shit. Spit on me come on I can take this. Do what you
want to me. Open me up I'm ready to go. So the Christmas was great the kids love the Christmas and they were pretty well be out obviously got up very the and... What time did you start the drinking, Rob?
I started drinking, I got absolutely smashed out my brain between about 11 a.m. and 4 o'clock
and then collapsed, I was just passed out of tidness all evening.
We didn't play any games because it's just earlier starting it with the kids and stuff.
But that was all good, it was all good, it was all good to be it was a really good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good, it was all good to be it was a really good Christmas great and then we we'd got into Tenerife for the new year which which was good at Tenerife
have you been to Tenerife? No I haven't been to Tenerife no.
Beautiful place right some breathtaking views however I we were like we were like
it was 25 degrees where normally it can be around 20 or maybe even less so we were really lucky with the weather there was a few people around the pool suggesting there's a there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a their. there's a there's a their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t lucky with the weather. There was a few people around the pool suggesting there's been a breeze coming in from the
Sahara which sounds like absolute bollocks that a dad would make up on holiday.
Yeah, it's coming over from Sahara is it, how do you know, mate?
How's a breeze getting that far?
It's a big breeze, there's a small island.
Come on, mate. Bree, breeze, breeze, breeze though, Josh, right? It's great for kids.
The kids loved it.
The kids club was brilliant.
The hotel was a bit shit, to be honest,
they had to wear, they're trying to be posh.
It was trying to be posh.
It was like a buffet all you can't eat all. I'm never going to go all-inclusive again. I'm going to have my dick out of dinner. That's the rules. Well, all-inclusive is basically all right for an alcoholic.
There's no way you can eat enough or drink enough to get your money back, all-inclusive.
There's no way. We went to Mauritius on our last holiday before, before having children yeah, before the last holiday when it was worth us going to Mauritius.
Yeah, you could say what, yeah, now I'm back in Tenariff.
We didn't, back in Tenary for the Four Kids,
because it's pricey.
I am exactly what all inclusive are looking for.
Because I just don't really drink them like that.
Nearly enough. There were some Russians there and they were fucking picking up the tab
from what I was doing.
I felt like a sucker mate because I was like,
I don't want to drink.
I'm fine.
I know.
I was getting like flashback PTSD pain memories of a kid.
I've got to read all this, get your money's worth. I don't want it. The thing is th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I, I, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I don't, I don't, I felt, I felt, I felt, I felt, I felt, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't eating and drinking loads, you're not beating them,
we're losing it for you.
They're not, so it's basically like the people that aren't really going for it, the ones
that are helping the hotel.
You're not getting one over on the hotel.
They're winning by people that aren't drinking that much.
You know what I mean? The only way to win would be to walk up to the bar up up up up up up their their their their their... their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so. their, so, so, so. their, so, so. their, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. they. they's, it's, it's, it's, it's, they pour it down the sink in front of them while staring him in the eyes. The kids though, the kids fucking love a buffet.
Oh man.
There's a person there at this buffet, you know sometimes after people cooking stuff.
Yeah.
So, have the buffet buttasks.
Giza was doing pasta.
Any pasta you wanted, Josh. What did they want?
Of course they did, mate. Just bowls and bowls of plain pasta, followed by the biggest ice cream
you've ever seen in your life.
Yeah, one further victory for the all-inclusive hotel
over your kids.
Oh, mate.
But it was, it was good though,
but the things to the tender reef,
is when you go out on the strip, I don't know if you've ever been to teneryr-a to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be the to be to be the to be the to be the the to be to be to be to be to be in to be in the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theaeru.ooooomereaeru.oomereafeeatruth. theafee. teatrooooom. teatrooom. treef. treef. thea. thea. thea. thea. subhuman scum. Some of the worst people you ever see.
I'm like the sound of this anecdote.
It's just...
So did you go out with the kids or did you go out?
Did you have a babysitter and then you went out?
No, no, no, so like we'd go out.
We didn't have any babysit, I don't really do babysit.
I don't really do babysiters on a holiday. enough. I've gone quite fun about that. And even the kids club, we didn't leave him in the kids club, this kids club was good because it had a pool and the
kids club where you could some bathe around the pool and then there was
kids club people running activities but you could watch the kids do the
activities without having to get up. So you felt like you were on holiday
with your kids but not but but you could sit down and read your book. a book or whatever. But I was laying there listening to a true crime podcast. Yeah, why not relax?
Rob? Why not relax? Take some time to yourself and relax. And the kids were doing like it was beautiful
that was having a water fight in the sun. And I was like it's a magical moment and then I've got
she was walking down the street on her own. Oh no, don't go down that street.
And I was really worried that my Bluetooth would have connected to the speaker that was
pumping out head, shoulders, knees, and toes.
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a long flight on it because we went easy jet and it's only four hours but it's only four
hours but four hours on a sort of crap plane. It wasn't a crap plane it was a small plane.
It's a small plane. It's a long over four hours. But that was really good. How did you get through it?
I just, oh no, you know what's really funny?
You know that the guys that say, yeah, iPads all the way there.
You know what's really funny is, you know, the people are selling like fake handbags
and sunglasses and stuff of other peach?
Because it's so northern, so many northern people line don't they to draw the English in. Right. So I walked up to his one bloke who was you know obviously not from the
North East you could sort of tell from his vibe and he went,
Ahmuch because he's so used to Norvoners asking how much the sunglasses are and he says
whatever 20 euros and they go, Ahmuch so his call is like you know like evening standard it's a lot of the the the evening's the evening's the evening's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. It's their their their their their to to to to to to to to they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they can't their. they's their. they's their. they's their. their. they's their is their is their is their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their and it was the best Northern accent I've ever heard.
But yeah, it's very, it's great tour, but it's a lot of Brits Abroad, shirts off, like
English, English bars.
Did you get out of the bucket?
No, and I quite like that.
I like an English pub abroad to watch the football, however, I do have a limit.
And I would class myself as fairly relaxed working class will go
anywhere for a drink you know they're part they're my people Josh but then
there are also that different level that's what noise me was people think all
working class people are the same but there is a level there's a level there's a
level within being working class on holiday there is a line there is a line there is a line there is a line there is a line there is a line there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there a there a there a there a there is a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their the. their the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to Benadormon Holiday, but there are bars I wouldn't visit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, there is a line.
Would you go to Linikas?
Yeah, I'd go Linikas.
But there was a bloke singing, right?
And it was like a 55-year-old bloke, bald-edded with a trilby-on and a going, right, thank you very much everyone. I've got DVDs for sale at Ender Short. I was like, who's selling fucking DVDs?
He's still selling DVDs?
How have you not bought one of them, Rob?
What a gift for Lou next Christmas?
That would have been.
I should have got it.
But yeah, so we went out and about New Year's Eve was a disaster, weigh a disaster where we basically, it was a gah a gah a g for some reason. This is the strangest kind of combination of the most
working class and most posh holiday I've ever heard it's insane is there a
middle ground on this holiday you either were in trousers to dinner or
you're watching a man sing my way and sell a DVD this hotel was in
Tenariff it like it had been picked up from Madrid in the 80s
and then just dropped in Tenerife.
All the same staff, anyway.
Do you think they just swapped hotel in the...
So it was a gala dinner which was like,
you had to, it was like, hotels do this thing.
I've never stayed away for New Year. But I've never stayed away. I've never had a the the the thahedededededed. I've stayed thahed. I've stayed thahed. I've never stayed thathea. I've never stayed th. I've never stayed thathea. I've never stayed their thathea. I've never stayed their. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've never stayed the same. I've th. I've th. I've their their the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've thateat. I've thoped. I've never that. I've never that. I've never thatea. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I had two shit COVID birthdays and my birthday is a crap anyway. I'll be abroad in the sun for my birthday.
That's all I want to do.
So we did it.
But, oh, thank you very much.
But hotels do this weird thing where you have to sort of like pay for a ticket and make it
just any way it's a bit of extra money because it's New Year.
So you have to have of the buffet dinner that they normally offer, it was the Scarlet Dinner, but it was like the menu, mate, was like tuna burgers for the kids.
What kind of kid wants a fucking tuna burger?
Get some plain pasta on the bloody menu?
Exactly. So it was all a bit like, I'm pumpkin soup.
Oh yeah, because my kids fucking soup. Are you sad like it's a kind of, you know, in a kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. know, on a round tables of strangers. Oh fuck that. So, exactly, so I went, I've had to play for it because it's part of the deal, but I'm not doing it.
I just can't do that.
I can't, so our plan was, what we're going to do is we're going to go out and have a
little walk down the front to McDonald's. Yeah, lovely, right. Get the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids. the the kids. the kids the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. theat. theat theat. theat things. theat. theat. theat. theat theat theat the from one extreme to the other. Exactly, right? So we've been New Year's Eve, what we'll do
is have a walk down the front, there'll be loads going on, you can't get in a normal sort
of holiday type restaurant for a plain, plain pasta. So we'll walk down the front, get a the front of McDonald's, right? Oh yeah, 15 minute walk. It's a long, the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their their th. th. So, their th. th. their their their their their their their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. walk, get there, get a bit lost, can't find it.
Again, like we turn a corner, Lou says we need to get in a cab and go back now. She's panicking.
She's panicking. She'll lose not used to the same holidays as I was growing up. I've done my term at Benadolm. I can deal with a lively crowd. She's panick, the tiols. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. th. toe. toe. toe. to to to to to toe, we's thuuill, thine's to the the the thine's thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Lou's looes. Lou's looes. Lou's looes. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Lou's th. Loo's th. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's toe. Loo's th. Loo's th. Loo's th. Loo five times. Of course you do. You didn't need it after the first one, did you? Also, what kind of, weed, coke, ganger pills?
I've got a four-year-old and six-year-old.
What kind of, even if?
I'm imagine.
There's four different substances there, Rob.
One fridge me, weed, coke, gandr and pills. Well, I only do all at once. I'll go. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I. I. I'll. I'll. I. I. I'll. I'll. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've the the the to. I've the to. I've to. I've a. I've a. I've got a to. I've a the thoer. I've a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've a four. I've a four. I've got a four. I've got. I've got. I've got. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. tho. tho. I've. I've got. I've some ganza, I'm heading to the gala dinner. Anyway, so we find McDonald's, right?
We turn a corner eventually after what turns into a 25 minute walk.
Turn a corner, shutting a corner, shutting.
Shutting up English, the te'nigh shut at midnight, one in a burger.
What?
What?
McDonald's, that's why that company's not going anywhere.
They haven't got something like you and the hell.
Tell you what, they're wonderful, is it still going in this country?
That's why Wimpy won the war, isn't it?
Yes.
Anyway, so now, like, my heart sank, right? My head's gone, right. Anyway, the thi. th, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. I, they. I, they. I, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're that. that. their. that. that. that. that. they're they're they're their. they're they're they're they're they're they're Anyway, what time is this? Quarter past 7 PM.
Right, right, yeah.
Head's gone.
Anyway, there's a soft play by the beach, right?
Yeah.
We sling them in the soft plate.
The kids having the time of their life.
We try and work out a strategy.
We'll back up.
The only place is Tony Roma is. to. to. to. burger place. Oh yeah. And I'm going to say there, Josh, it's, I don't want to start beef with Tony Roma.
It was the worst meal I've ever eaten in my life.
Because Tony Roma does sound like he's quite threatening.
Like, in terms of, it could be a character from the godfather, Tony Roma, couldn't
he?
The portions were, I ordered two starters.
I than the portions, I the portions, I ordered two starters because I didn't fancy a main because it looked like it was going to be too big.
I've just sent you some photos of what came.
I ordered some nap food shows and some little chicken bites.
But I've sent it to me to on my WhatsApp.
This meeting an empty Tony Romas, weren't allowed to see outside.
Oh my God, Tony Romas does not.
I imagined Tony Romas. going to bump into the guy singing my way again. That's how I was imagining it. No! Tony Romans is like an Amidino your steakhouse. Have you ever seen a restaurant
empty on New Year's Eve? Even the worst... You are one of our nation's most popular
comedians. How the fuck are you in Tony Romas on New Year's Eve?
Just six months off the nation took you to their heart as the symbol of the Euro 2020 tournament.
You're sat in what basically looks like a deserted service station.
You know when you go to a service station at 1 a.m. and you go, I'm going to have to sit
in because I don't want to drive and eat at the same time and you, and you, it's the
shitest meal. No one ate. No one, the kids kids. The kids. think, think, think, think, think, think, thahs. Oh, thahah. Oh, thah. Oh, thah. Oh, I thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the the the the the that. the that. the that. the got crisp. No one, no one, the kids didn't eat nothing.
Lou didn't eat it.
I did, it was horrible.
You've polished off that pint, Rob.
That's gone down pretty quickly, I can tell you that.
Yeah, I've had a pint of Dorada and I was raring to go.
But yeah, that was a good story. They are big stars.
Oh no!
Sorry to carry off at telling you.
No, I mean, I'm, like, this is why you're a better comic at me at certain points.
Is that you will...
At certain points, how dare you?
No, you can't even give me a compliment.
You will...
You will exhaust the topic to make the most comedic material where I will keep moving on.
But is why you are a better comic at certain points.
In certain moments that's why you're a better comic, okay?
And I don't give out compliments like that lightly.
To be fair, anyone who knows Rob Beckett, I'm taking that because...
That's a good compliment.
But, yeah, they aretaking that because... That's a good compliment! That's a big compliment.
But yeah, they are way too big, as starters.
I mean, look, those chicken balls.
Fucking now, mate.
It was horrible, anyway.
At least you got some greens.
You haven't finished it off there.
No, I didn't eat it.
So did we went Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
And at midnight, I got woken up by the biggest fireworks of all time, didn't even get
onto the balcony to look at them.
Oh, mate.
And Lou was after the seever woke up and went on.
Well, it is New Year's Eve.
to be their trip, pilot whales and dolphins live near Tenerife.
We went out, beautiful boat trip, saw them, and my four-year-old was seasick, cried for
the whole two hours.
Oh, mate.
And because basically, you got the boat, and it was our fault though, because she said she
felt sick, and then we gave her a blanket and her iPad and covered her ed and she basically sat on a boat watching her iPad not seeing the sea which I don't think is good that you're supposed to see.
It's like if you're in a car that's much worse than being if you if you want to those
people that can't even do it in a car. Yeah I know so she was sick everywhere bless her. And then but basically when we got on the boat there's a fruit there's a fruit there. T there's a fruit there's a fruit there's a fruit there's a fruit there's a fruit there. there. there. there. there. there's a f. there. there. there's a f f f f f. there. there's a f. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. there's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It was a fruit. It was a fruit. It was a fruit. It was a fruit. It was a fruit pl. It's a fruit pl. It's a fruit pl. It's a th. th. th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a fruit. Oh great, so the kids are smashing, there's pears and oranges and cherries and beautiful,
fresh, you know that the fruit in Spain is amazing, right?
Beautiful, just smashing through all this oranges.
Anyway, so she's sick, she's sick over the side of the boat, we clean her up a bit and
then we go and sit at the back with her where it's less bobby. She's properly sick off the boat, cartoon style. Full sick. Other kid loving it, not feeling sick at all, right?
Anyway, so I sit at the back, he went, oh yeah, she's alright.
I went, oh no, yeah, she's fine now, but she's been sick.
Ah, that's the fruit.
I went, pardon?
She went, yeah, you don't want to eat fruit on a boat. sits in your stomach and in your sick because it's so so liquidy and sugary. Oh no good well can you not give my children a fucking platter of it next time
if it's not the right thing for a boat trip?
But you had a good time?
No we did to be fair it was amazing and on the first night the girls did I tell they did the talent show. They did the talent show. Did you do it? You could have have have have have the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You could have th. th. th. You could have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. they thin. thin. th. they they they they th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. t. t. te. tot. te. to. toda. to. toda. toda. te. toda. te. toda. toda. te.... Did you do it? You could have won that, Rob? No I didn't, but I did think I could absolutely smash this.
Well, first of all, we had to sit through two Ukrainian girls doing a Tick-Tock dance,
doing a Tick-Tock dance, they were about 17, definitely too old for the talent show,
and else was about four or five, and that went on for ages. own it. They know Tony Roma personally don't they? But we got there on the day, right? We got also as well, right, so because it's a bit trousers at dinner, some people are a bit
snooty. On the day they were seasick, when we got off the boat, we had to bar my t-shirts,
we bought them these ten-a-reef t-shirts, with sleeveless, a luminous orange, and they're called their-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-n.. It's-ni-ni-nigh-s, their-s, their-s, their-s, their-s, so-s, so-s, so-s, so-s, so-s, so-s, some some some some some some some some some some some some th-s, some thi-s, some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some, they's, they's, they's a little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little, they's a little, they's a little, they're, they're, they's a little, they's a little, they's, they's, the-s, the-s,, I'll send you the photo, like the little beads
at the tomorrow, proper holiday dresses and it's got Elsa on the front and Tenerife
written above it, okay, so you couldn't get more of a holiday.
So they're basically, you look it, not cleared at Disney HQ.
Not, probably not.
I doubt Disney have okayed that t-shirt.
We bought it in the street, I don't know.
And got changed behind a bin.
I wouldn't say 100% looks like Elsa.
Like you see it is, but...
It's close enough and she's wearing a blue dress and got blonde there.
So we go back into hotel and then then then then then then then their the the girls in their tops and I'm quite a placid person I sort of
like got quite Zen and stuff and then the kids run off and I before I could even
think I went to what a fuck you sneering at oh my word Rob
out of nowhere well out of no and I'm actually not like that yeah
yeah at all I'll go off and slag them off of Lou the their of their of their of their of their of their of their of to to their to to their to their to their to to to to their to to to their to to to to to to to to to go go out out out out out out out out out out out of to go out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the the the the the. I'll go off and slag them off with Lou
in private or text you. But I'll talk about a podcast. Yeah and if someone sneers at me I'm like
oh yeah whatever you know I was used to that when I first started doing you know I'd go be on
be in first class in the trains in the track suit and people ask me if I should be there. I'm like yeah I should be there. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I. I should. I should. I. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I'm like. I should. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I should. I should. I should. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like, I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll talk. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. It's the weekend now. Give me my fucking snack box. Yeah, exactly. But I'd go, yeah, I am and be a bitch up.
But when it was about them, I just switched.
I literally said to someone, what the fuck you sneering her?
And she just walked off, gutless.
Gutless.
Miserable, miserable, miserable, old, dried up prune. Miserable. And then we went to to to to to to to the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the g. the g. the g. the g. to go. M. G. M. G. Miserable. Miserable, I the gar, I'm to go. M. M. M. M. M. G. M. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I to. I to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm miserable. I'm miserable. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Iune. Thank you. Dried up prune. Miserable.
And then we went to the kids mini disco, which they loved.
They play all these Spanish songs that they still sing now.
I've got the playlist on Spotify Chocolatay.
Vamos, come on, come on.
The suitcase song is brilliant.
The kids love it.
So they're dancing away and they go, and then the parents are sat there, the ones that were sneering, miserable, didn't even get up.
The kids were miserable, their kids didn't even dance,
are they miserable.
There's a bit where you have to get your,
you have to stand up.
Why have they gone to this place?
Because they're shit.
You're just shit. You're all, you're shit. You're, your. You're, your. You're, your. You're, your. You're, your. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. It. It. It. It. It. It. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. It. There. It. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. It. It. There. There. It. It. It. It. It. It. There. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's at the bit when the parents had to dance, they didn't get up.
Joe Y, Josh, because they're shit. They're boring and they're shit and they're
to'n'n'n' they're boring about what people think about them.
So they're sneering at kids having a good time.
And I'm sick of it. Go fuck yourself. sleeveless giving it a bit of Vamos Vamos okay the um yeah so anyway so that
was last night if you're a kind of snooty person like you've talked me about
Tony Romas they're two streets away from trouble at any point yeah what are
these snooty people doing when they're not wearing trousers of dinner why
are they there is it just is this hotel they're just they're just staying in it it like they're just they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they they they they're just they they're just they they're just they're just they're just just just just just they're just they're they're just they're just they're just just they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they're just just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're they're they're they they're they they're they they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just just just like they're kind of a fort. Well I think it's like, do you know what? Because it wasn't a cheap hotel,
it was a decent hotel.
I think what people do is because I like a bit of
going to the local restaurant and eating nice local food
and experience in the culture,
but then also quite like having a beer in the sun.
And then I like football, I might watch the football in the sun. And I think that's okay, but I think some people are so anti the perception of,
well, you can't go that, like, and a bit of judgmental that they go too far the other way,
and before they know it, they've got trousers on having a bowl of pumpkin soup New Year's Eve.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, I've got some good recommendations of restaurants, but don't go to, yeah, don't go Tony Romas. And oh yeah,
the talent show, they are, this, I didn't push them into this at all, Josh. I'm actually quite against
it. So we got there, I didn't sleep the night before because my four-year-old kept on waking up, right? I thought you were nervous about the talent show. Well, no.
At times, you're unstoppable, Josh.
Everyone has their moments, don't they?
Everyone has their moments, don't they?
Um, I feel bad about that. Was that too mean, Josh?
No, I like it. So, because I know what, I know how difficult it is to get a to get a to get a comp to get a compliment to get to get to get to get a compliment to get to get to get to get to get to get a compliment to get to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to get a compliment to it. Or did that sort of Freud and said? Anyway, so they went to-
No, because I know what, I know how difficult it is to get a compliment of Rob Beckett.
I'm absolutely, I'm buzzing.
I know how many people that you think are shit.
There's a lot.
There's a lot of people who are doing. These people that have been comedians for 15 years and they're fucking shit and if you're listening to this and you've got a normal job whatever you do and you think I'm quite funny I reckon I can do that you can do that you can do that you can do it go and do it because there's loads of shit ones you can do it go and do it because there's loads of shit ones you can get rid off is that too harsh or is that fair Josh I think I think that's the th the the their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that's that's that's that tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're that that that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho that that that that Is that too harsh or is that fair Josh? I think if you started naming names. I can. I don't think that's the right. I'll do a little list like
Stuart Lee. Sad case. Anyway, right so here's the talent show. So we got there. The girls have been up
to 4 a.m. their flight got there quite stressful getting a cab blah blah blah blah and we get And we the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. there. th. th. th. th. there's there. there. there. there. there. there. there. th. th. th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'. I'm. I'. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm hard getting a car seat for kids and all the day.
You suggested this episode would be a 20 minute Christmas rea.
Sorry I'm that half out right. I'll tell you this and then we'll do yours.
I'm absolutely thoroughly enjoying it.
I am fucking on fire at the moment Josh so just energy. I've had so much sleep.
I've got a UV light. I you growing weed? What's going on? My mom got me one.
It's supposed to help me not get depressed in winter. You know it's all gloomy outside.
You put yourself underneath it? No, it's only a little, it's about as big as your hand,
but you sit it on the corner on your desk and you put it like where the light would
normally come through the window. Today sunlight. Oh, lovely. It's really good actually.
I'm vibing off it.
Anyway, so we get there, we go for dinner and then we go to the, they go, they go, they're
the kids' disco.
So we tell them to kids, they do the kids' disco. they and they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their disco, their disco, so disco, so disco, so disco, so disco, and then, so disco, so disco, so disco, and then, and then, so disco, and then, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, they're, they're, so, so, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so, so, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their.. their. their. their. Rob? No, absolutely no idea. The most Spanish woman you've ever seen, she was like a sitcom character, she was so
Spanish, right?
And she was like, kids, do you want to do it?
And they went, yeah, we want to do it?
And she was like, oh, okay, kids, do you want to do it?
And then, the youngest, I want then come on girls, come backstage, and they just fucked it off. What? So you just took them backstage?
What do you mean?
And then we didn't see them for 20 minutes.
And they just took them backstage.
What is this Britain's got talent?
What's good?
And I was like, oh, and then because you're on holiday, you're like, oh, that's fun, is it isn't isn't isn't isn't know what... Right, so we're sat there and then they come out.
Let me try and find the right bit of this.
How are you feeling at this point?
Um, Lou is absolutely about to blow a gasket with panic and anxiety
because she would hate to go on stage, right?
So Lou is like, oh my God, and she's so... I was worried for, especially the older one in case she did it wrong because she was going to tell a joke because I know she would get really upset if she did it wrong.
Yeah, you could blast her a song. Get that wrong.
Exactly. But so I'm, this is my idea on parenting, okay? A lot of the times of kids.
They are. Two things. People think that you help your kids develop. For example, I was always scared help you develop. For example, I was always scared of dogs, my youngest loves dogs, and because she's always
always wanted to go up to a dog, I had to go with her, but I couldn't get all anxious and
panicky because she would get anxious and panicky. So I was like, okay, no, just, you know, and they've helped me get on rollercoast and stuff and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, I, I, the, the, the, they, they, they, they.a, they.a, they.a, they.a, they.a, they. they. they. they, the, 't do that I don't do this I don't do that but the reality is you've chosen that you don't do those and you're living in
that world that you've created but then when something else comes in your life
those doors have to open because they want to do things so rather
and I don't do that off you're going to try and do it and I went to you're going to to do do do do do do do do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to that's you're that's you're that that that that that that and that and you're that that that that that that and you're that and you're that and you're that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that one side of it and the other side of it is I Lou is desperately she kept on going are you gonna be alright you sure you want to do it and I went just
shut up because they don't know this is scary yeah yeah yeah exactly this is
fun this is play but what you're doing now is you're giving them an
adult's view of this could be bad this could be I went just just to just shut up be quiet to the to theyr to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to the the the the the to to to to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. their the their their the their the the like and the same as me our mind seems to go do it like this do like no no no shut up Rob let them learn you you do know how to do stand up
but this isn't stand up this is two kids having fun let two kids go and enjoy
themselves and see what happens what's the worst that could happen and so me and they and they they and they told me to their too theyn't go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. to to to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to They're exploring on their own and they were much better for it because I think I could
have freaked them both out but I keep talking to them about it.
So they've been kidnapped for 20 minutes and then they come out and then this is, let's
see if this works.
How Spanish this lady is. I mean, who's going to stay the top of the microphone? Silence on the audience. Come here.
Volume, uh, bop, ready.
A little. Three, two, one.
Why did the swiittle, why does the swiow in his back?
Because he wants to keep his nuts dry.
Yes, mate.
Yes, yes.
Yes, I smashed it.
Lovely.
Really good.
Absolutely smashed it.
I was so proud.
It was such a lovely moment.
Oh my God.
So that was good.
And they came out, absolutely, it was absolutely what happened in the 20 minutes.
They basically got given a garland and loads of face paint and like, like, like,, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th.ed, thi, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, to to to thea, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they'd done that. They did it on the first night. They basically got given a garland and loads of face paint and like like little they basically
were just telling them where to do and wait and stuff like that but yeah that was
really cute so that was lovely and but I was like so nervous for him but I was like
sorown you can't let it out because they're not the same. How did they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they tell tell telled telled they were they were they were they're they're they're they they're they they they're they they they they were they they they they the joke was a... Well I basically when that happened and everyone was clapping I just I turned
round, looked at a square in the eye and spat in her face.
So many highs, so many highs. So many highs, so many lows. Isn't that apparent are distilled
to an absolute? Yeah, well it's got to be fair though, that's what I
was saying to you the other day. At 4 and 6th, you're on Easy Street. Yeah.
Kids holiday-wise, unless they're always something they're themselves or it's not,
it's nowhere near like a normal with a good kids club where you can go into the kids club and watch them, I don't like leaving them, I feel like I like enjoying the experience
with them there, but yeah it was brilliant to be fair, but yes I've banged on for ages.
No, I've thoroughly enjoyed it. It's lovely to catch up and you got released a couple of days early because of the new six-day release?
Yeah, I was out. I was out on the 24th, 23rd, I can't even remember now.
Anyway, got ready, it was Christmas. It was very uneventful, Rob.
It was very uneventful, Rob. Christmas Eve went to a lovely Carol service at the church by down the road. Sounds awful. Do you know what, Rob? Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to to to the to the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. their the the their. I the the the the the their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was their. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I I I, I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was thirty, I was thi. I was the. Sounds awful. Do you know what, Rob? It was very emotional.
Was it?
Well, you've been locked up your house a week.
I never go in a church.
I'm not, you know, I'm indifferent to religion.
Yeah, church is our banter though.
I like a good church.
Yeah, they're lovely big buildings, aren't they?
We thought we'll go, what kind of carols we're talking about? Oh, the big ones, once in the the the the big east.
All right, fair enough.
No, like jingle bells and shit.
Jingle bells isn't a carol rob.
What's the difference between a carol and a song?
Don't know.
Christmas carls.
Religious. I don't think Jingle bells is religious is it? Oh religion. I remember when the Harvest
Festival, my Harvest Festival, I did Harvest Festival and it was like,
Our Lord Emmanuel and I shouted, Petee! Oh lovely. Because I loved Emmanuel Petit at
that stage. Really nice. Really nice. It was just some good solid stuff, early
doors in my career. Exactly. That was when you got a taste for it wasn't it. Well yeah I then I just thought I want more of this. But the their nice, to to to to their, really really really really really really really really really really really really nice, to to to the to to their, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, nice, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, nice, nice, really, nice, really, nice, nice, really, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice? Well, yeah, and then I just want more of this.
But yeah, no, very nice, made so much food in advance on the Christmas Eve that Christmas Day
that Christmas Day was actually disgusting, awful fucking lasagna.
Absolutely brilliant, went down a storm, had it on Boxing Day and the day after.
Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Absolutely loved it. Rob, I've seen what you ate on New Year's Eve, mate. Fair, fair point. I would have paid, I reckon, 30 euros for your lasagna.
Oh, mate, it's a great lasagna. It's a great...
And you know what? I had had some lasagna out a few days ago, and I turned to Rose and I said,
this isn't as good as my lasagna. This is not as good as my lasagna.
So Christmas Day, very nice.
Everyone could come because of...
LFT.
Oh mate.
Oh mate, I'd forgotten about this.
Go on.
I had to lateral flow my daughter before everyone could come.
She'd had such a bad time with the PCR test in the car.
But obviously in the car, she was strapped down. Yes. So... so, it it it it it, so, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, that, th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, very tho, very tho, very tho, very tho, very tho, very tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tho. th th tho th th th too th too th th too too th th th th the tho the tho tho test in the car, but obviously in the car she was strapped down.
Yes. So, it's fine. After the work's done for you there.
After work's done for you. So, Christmas Eve before my wife's mom comes, she keeps putting it off and we're like, we're going to have to do this.
Yeah. We eventually end up having to hold her down. Oh no. Like, it was like something from a thia thia thia thiiiii. to to to to to to to to to to to the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th th th th th, she was th, she was th, she was th, she was th, th, th, th, th. She was th. She was th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She, th. She, th. She, it's th. She, it's th. She, it's thi. She, it's thi. thi. thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. She's thi. She's end up having to hold her down. Oh no. Like, it was like something from a film, yeah?
Yeah.
And obviously it's impossible to hold down a four-year-old and like to swaugh.
They're strong.
They're able to move their head, their arms, their body, and their legs.
And you can't cover all of those, two of you while swabbing her nose. Long story short Rob. Yeah. At 11 p.m. I find myself creeping into her bedroom
to swap her nose while she sleeps.
Kyle was that? Fucking hell that's tense. That is.
So did you do the mouth? Just the nose for kids. Um, so we were downstairs and we're like
we've got to do this, go
up initially, she's still awake, come back down, go back up and the excitement
she wasn't just asleep Rob but her body was she was wide open the nose was
absolutely there for the taking. Yeah that's nose is snuggled up next to her
teddy. Yeah exactly you're in real trouble but she was she was facing the door the nose she was lying on her back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the the. the the the the. the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. You're in real trouble. But she was facing the door.
The nose, she was lying on her back, the head was lying on her back, head facing the door, nose out, absolutely. Big sniffs in. Yeah. Oh man, creeping in, wooden floorboards, which obviously, you know,
lovely most of the year, but not what you need when you're... That's the problem with period properties you can't sneak in and swap your kids and I owned.
Well they weren't doing it in the 1900s were they wrong? No, there was no flu at all around then.
No exactly. So, cracked in, Rose didn't come in because I didn't want the extra set of footprints. I didn't want anything else to come up. So I didn't want to to the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their their their to be. their thoe. the an thoooooooooooooonenenec. the the the the the the the the the the their their their the. It's so tense. I can't tell you. It's like, it's like
you're going right in then or just around the edge a bit. I suppose you want to make sure.
Just go in a few circles. Yeah. And she kind of reacted. She did a few like sniffs. A few reactive sniffs. Good. Just know she's still, yeah. The feeling. The feeling when I got out of the room and she hadn't woke th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. yeah. The feeling, the feeling when I got out of the room
and she hadn't woken up was like nothing else.
And then you're like, oh wait, she could still be positive here.
Yeah, exactly, this isn't finished.
We're downstairs, did the lateral flow,
and she's negative.
Christmas has begun.
Poor a glass of wine.
This is happening.
At that exact moment my son
starts crying. I couldn't fucking believe it. We had one as well, but my dad did
his lateral flow, it was negative and then you know, and then we went off and then,
came back and it was positive. Oh, what? What? But, apparently when it's gone past and it's not come up and
then it's gone past the second? So basically you only look at it between 20 minutes and 30 minutes.
So basically you only look at it between 20 minutes and 30 minutes. So we read it and
it was negative but we were like, fuck it's horrible. It's so sure. Because we had to get tests on the way back from the airport. So you have to do that that thing to to to to to to to to to the their. to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to their. to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this, because we had to get tests on the way back from the airport
because you have to do that thing now.
We had to do test, a lateral flows before we left,
and then we had to do a test when we went to a test when we got to have her toll.
And we did it, they ours and then I put her window down like that and as the
blow towards window she just did a window up.
And it's held her finger on it.
And I was like move it so you can put it down to the try and you said no.
So then obviously we've been locked in the house for the kids which is magical
28th got our first, you know, I've canceled all of the social engagements over Christmas.
Yeah, 28th we got our first thing which we're gonna go to with no kids.
This is when you know, yeah, go for drinks that morning. The daddy who's covering and doing the morning so to to to to to to to to to the the th. th. the the th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the the th. th. th. the the the th. thi. the thi. thi. thioleathea. the the thioliolioliolioliolk. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. their their covering and doing the morning so that we can have
a drink.
Text us, positive lateral flow.
Oh my God.
Can't the social then.
Again, can't one of you go?
I went for an hour and a half.
And I didn't want to, because I wanted to show my face, but I didn't want to.
And then, so that was my social.
Got back in the car at 9 p.m.
There's something quite nice about getting back in the car at 9 p.m.
Is there?
No.
And I love your positive.
This is when you said it's really nice watching a documentary of 5 a.m.
the other day. Yeah, happening? So, leveled out about 530, 6 a.m.
Boxing day morning, back to 430. You've got to be fucking kidding.
So what's he on now? We keep up the sleep training. We're like, we're going to carry on.
Yeah. 430, boxing day, 430 the next day, 430 the day after. And then we've been on sixes.
We're back to, it's just worked.
And when he wakes up, he's chilled as hell.
He's accepted that it's happening.
That's good.
That's good because our kids were on a 5.30 run for a couple of weeks for no reason whatsoever.
But I think the holidays put them back, we're waking up at 7 for school now,
where before they'd be up from six which is good and the dog we got the dog back from the little kennel place and
he's sleeping until 730 oh mate they're flying in the becket house the UV
lights on the kids are asleep the dogs are asleep yeah I mean I've got
the life obviously still but you know New Year's Eve what you do new I need new pillows by the neck have you I've got a great I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the new pillows by the way. What pillow you want? I've got a great pillow from a neck. Have you? I'll send you a link, so it's really good. You gotta have the right level of
pillow, Rob. Yeah, my pillow. My pillow, my pillow is all over the place at the moment.
Because people keep nicking my pillows, the kids take them, Lou takes them. I just get, I basically have
I basically have whatever I basically have basically have basically have whatever, I basically have whatever, I basically have whatever, I basically have whatever, I basically have whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever, I basically have whatever whatever whatever whatever to the hotel, obviously? That's what we should have done.
I need to get a pillow and then take it to a hotel.
But when I need to go to hotel, not immediately.
When you need to go to a hotel, not just, I'm not like having an affair with it.
I'm going to take this pillow to the hotel. So yeah, if you can send me that, Pillay. Oh yeah, what's your new year?
It's the first new year where I've made an admission to myself. I don't need this, Rob. I don't need New Year. I was in bed. I was like, we were like, oh we should stay up. Why? Why? Why am I making myself tired tio-m. to stay up? Yeah, pointless? the to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. new. new. tod new. new tod today the. the. the. to the. to the. the. the. the th. tomorrow to stay up? Yeah, pointless. In bed, 10 p.m.
Lights out.
Next morning, loads of texts from fucking losers
that have stayed up for no reason.
I know.
Happy New Year.
New Year, new me.
No, New year, same me.
Stop fucking to you.
It's your same mate that said they were going to do this 15 years ago. No you won't because you're fucking shit. You're not going to change anything.
If you're looking to change your ways of life, don't start by staying up late and getting
pissed.
That's the last way to start the New Year.
Hung over and depressed.
That'll sort out my new venture.
January the 3, I'll be better. Like what's wrong with you? Start on the 30 if you're fucking loser. The freedom, Rob, of deciding.
It's not going to do New Year. It's unbelievable.
It's so shit. I hate it. I've hated it forever.
But basically millennium, it turns. That's when you first start to pay a ticket to get in a pub.
Do you know what? It's crap. And do you know what? I just felt, obviously if anyone invites me doing the good next year, I will accept, but I felt really good, Rob. I felt great. I was so pleased I'd done it.
Yeah, you feel up incredible for the start of the year. Yeah, I'm what a couple of old bastards.
No resolutions for you then, just cracking on with life? I'm on a diet, Rob,
because I, uh... I think that's fine that everyone's on a diet Rob because I uh... I think that's fine everyone's on a diet because Christmas is indulgent I'm on a diet. I put you on nine pounds. Jesus Christ.
Yeah it's like I was you know getting ready for a film role. Where does it all go on you when you put on weight?
Uh it goes face and stomach. Mine goes love handles and tits.
so so togu so together Rob we can be really big fat body. Face is okay actually actually face face. the face. the face is the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It's that's not th. It's not the worst th. It's th. It's th. that's that's that's that's not thoes that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. tho. the the the the tho. the tho. tho. tho. thoooo. thooooooooooooooo. really big fat body. Face is okay actually, face that survives.
No it's not the worst one.
What's that?
Everyone can see your face?
No, no, my face survives.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I tho'n'a'er.
too.
toight. Oh, are you? Oh, I am, yeah. What are you promoting?
Uh, tour.
Oh, yeah, buy tickets to Josh's tour.
Buy tickets to my tour.
Yeah, they said, have you got anything on,
have you got any material on films starring Denzel Washington?
And I thought, I was very excited.
I think when you tell people that you're on with them, they need to mention Zoom before
they say the name.
Yeah, Zoom, Denzel Washington.
Okay, Denzel Washington.
What?
Zoom?
Yeah.
I was on the one show with Lin Manuel Miranda.
I was on one show.
I was on, hey, this is gonna be a fucking great selfie. He's on fucking Zoom.
He can't do a selfie with a fucking screen.
No, because I can just put him on the screen.
I can just put the one show on it over and do a selfie.
Well, exactly.
You might as well say you've met Denzel Washington
because you've watched him on,
Grown Norton's off fucking Zoom.
Who you're else? Martin Freeman. Oh, as a good people of feet. Are you sure they've not double-butt the same man?
Wow, Rob, I'll be honest. I'm planning to dust off the old auditioning for the Hobbit anecdote for the 400-time. The key to ground or the today is have stories about the more famous
people because that's who they want to talk to. We're there in case they're silent. Exactly. Do that one their in their in their in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. they thi. they thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to theeea. I'm to thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm planning. I'm planning. I'm thi. and then go, actually I also got audition to be in the equaliser,
or a massive Denzel Washington film. Do you know what Rob? I'm going to ask Denzel Washington
whether I'll do the podcast as well. I thought why not? That's great, why are you there? Also
yeah, but that's a funny joke. If you talk about a Hobbit, audition for and just pick a really famous Denz of Washington film? What's the most famous th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi? Do thi? I'm thin, thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin. Do thi. Do thi. Do I th. Do I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. Do, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I th. Do, th. Do, do. Do, do. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, thi. Do, the. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do the. I'm going thin. I'm going tho. I'm going thin. I'm going thin. Do, do, because that's the least like you as well, character.
Denzel Washington famous films.
This is how, I won't lie, Rob.
That's what I was googling yesterday when I was trying to come up with some anecdotes about Denzel Washington movie.
Fly, American gangster.
That's quite funny because of the name's funny.
But then people might know that he did it. Training day day th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th. That's the th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's the the the the. That's tho tho- tho- thoom. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. That's the the the the. the the the. the. That's the the the the. the the. the thean. the the the the the thean. the the the theanan. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean But then people might know that he did it. Training Day is your one,
Rob. Training day is your one. Book of E. like Malcolm X. I'm not saying that Rob.
John Q. Remember the hot? Yeah. Do you know what Rob? Here's the other thing.
God. That is a really good joke suggestion and sometimes you're a better comic than this. Isn't that the way?
We're all sometimes better than other people and stuff.
Exactly.
Well, that'll be a funny joke.
So there we go.
But that's the reason I've been dieting because I've got to wear a fucking suit on
January the 6th.
That is brutal.
That is brutal.
What else you won with?
So, years and years. Yep.
And actress Nina Sasanya who is in lots of things you'd recognize her but I'm most excited
because she does the voiceover for Moon and me the absolute.
Oh, I know Nina Sasanya. I know her. She was in teachers.
She was in teachers. Is that what she's promoting? I'm gonna say, Nina, you don't need to be here. I've already th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's th promoting? I'm going to say, Nina, you don't need
to be here, I've already seen it. It's on Britbox. It's on Britbox. It's on Britbox. I've seen
it. What the fuck is Britbox, by the way? It's basically got eye player and ITV and it.
I don't understand. I've got a good anecdote about Britbox Robbock if you want to hear it. Go on. Go on it. Go on the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thia. thoes thoes the. thi. I thiqa' thiaiae, thia. I've thia. I've thia. I've thia. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. It's th. It's to toe. It's toe. N. N. I'm toea. N. I'm toea' toea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a. I've 't understand. I've got a good anecdote about Britbox, Rob, if you want to hear it. Go on. About two years ago, the exec, on her last leg, came here. He said, big news,
we've been signed up to Brit-box. And at this point, Britbox wasn't even in the UK. It was an
American thing for people that wanted to watch British TV in America. Oh that's quite good though I suppose isn't it? Yeah but you should have seen what they had at that point so it's basically if you lived in Texas
and you wanted to watch Rosemary and Time it was that kind of situation. Anyway about four weeks later
how's it going with Britbox. Yeah it didn't work out they've cast from Britbox. Oh no you've been cut from from Britbox mate. Oh, brutal, Josh.
They might say, good show in tonight.
You might get back on it.
Right, is there anything else we need to?
Oh, basically, so the plan of action for the rest,
we've got, we're supposed to have a little break in January,
but we're not going to do a full break.
We're very, you're especially busy, especially your tour back and our tours back so we're going to do a couple of episodes in January that are going to be chat-y catch-up episodes
because we haven't got the time to scheduling interviews with people.
We want to get off to a flying start rather than try and kind of rush it.
So we'll do another couple of catch-up ones in January.
So we'll do another couple of catch-up on Tuesday on Tuesday also going to throw out some best-offs during January.
Which would be quite good actually, because if you've started late and not listen to the
full-back cataloging, a little taste of some of the early Epps, but yeah we're going to do
loads of more interviews from February. of last year. It was book season. It was book season! So yeah I know we're going to try and get a few people. What we tend to do, I feel, is we're either doing comedians or celebs
and we're going to try and work out that you can have like kind of a mix over a year, can't you?
You can have the best of both You can't believe it on that.
You've got to have done a new episode, haven't they?
I know, yeah.
But yeah, blame COVID and Tenerife.
Yeah, exactly.
That's the way forward.
Anyway, Josh, well, have a good one tonight.
Make sure you mention the podcast.
I will ask Den of Washington about it. Yeah, it's definitely, I think that'll go down well that joke. And he'll do a really big laugh and then ignore you and talk about his new film.
He'll be two seconds delayed because he's on Zoom and he'll go, sorry,
who's saying this? Who are you? What's going on?
Am I drunk or is there two little odd white English men there?
Is it double hobby?
It's a three if you count the host. He's Irish. He's Irish. Oh, skinny, skinnie your teeth, Norton.
Right, okay, we better go because we've got stuff to do, like look after our kids.
I have my hair cut.
Oh, God, look at this guy.
So, showbiz.
Right, I'll let you go and get ready for tonight, Josh.
Good luck in the suit.
Thanks guys. Bye.