Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP11: "Rob, I only woke up five minutes before this..."

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

S04 EP11: "Rob, I only woke up five minutes before this..."More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce even more Paren...ting Hell Live shows!! On top two the already announced Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April) and London 02 (Friday 21st April)- tickets are now on general sale but going fast!! We're also doing the following shows;19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 23rd April 20223 - Wembley Tickets are available on pre-sale to Parenting Hell mailing list subscribers at 10am on Wednesday 2nd March (the link will be sent out around 9am - please don't email or message us before that asking for the link!!!!!) To sign up to the mailing list if you haven't already just cut and paste this into your browser:parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Turns and Commissions apply. Visit MX. C.A. slash business platinum.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with, Penelby, can you see Rob Beckett? And can you see it, Josh Whitakum?
Starting point is 00:01:29 Ah! Plooh! It's like she's trying. She sounded like a spooky door, didn't she? Like, she sounded like... Like, some Scooby me do. Yeah. Hi guys, please find attached my intro for the podcast by my daughter Penelope. Done in the only way possible with a newborn.
Starting point is 00:01:53 This was recorded the week she turns three weeks old. Blamey, three weeks. I mean I should say, that is the youngest but the worst we've had. Yeah, very poor. The very difference between Rob Beckett and Josh Riddickett I couldn't you could have switched around I wouldn't know. I thought she did well to like shut up when he was talking and then start again. She did shit Josh. Don't be seduced by the age. No I'm not I'm not giving her credit I'm just wondering how he's done. Yeah I don't. To be fair. Yeah to be fair to be fair fair fair fair fair fair the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be fair. the the time. to be fair. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the timing of the nonsense was good wasn't it? I've, you might have edited that. He sounds like he knows his way around click time. Garage band. He stick that in Garage Band at 4 AM in between feeds and thought, you know what I'm going to do here? I'm going to make
Starting point is 00:02:33 this, I'm going to make it special. And he did. Well Rob, he loves the podcast and started listening last year when his wife became pregnant. Then. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. He's, th. th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, I. He's, I's, I's, I's. I'm. I'm th. He's th. He's th. He's th how I laugh them off being a someone that doesn't usually need much sleep anyway holy shit within two nights I was in shock and felt terrible from lack of rest or sleep and thought I couldn't go on already two days fucking hell mate what's on the way said my wife became pregnant it doesn't imply it's his no yeah unfortunately my wife became pregnant but we decided what the the the the the th is is is is is is is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I th, my wife became pregnant, but we decided what the hell. Let's stick with it. It feels a bit like he's Joseph in the nativity, doesn't it? By the second week, we got into a good being tired routine.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Like, I like this guy. But what I'm saying is he's talking like an old hand three weeks in. By week two, by week two we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th. th, th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, theee. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. ththe first week was tough, but now we've got we got into something. Oh bless him. He probably thinks he has. And he hasn't. I don't want to be those patronising wankers that have got our older kids, but I think it's good. You have to have an element of denial because if you accept the fact it's awful, then it is awful. But yeah Well no, no, this week Penelope has now decided that she never wants to sleep, so it's up and down. Through the... Oh, fair enough. Wow, imagine that, his regime has changed mid-sentence.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah. Through the day isn't bad, but the pain trebles through the night when she won't supposed to be asleep. Please let anyone waiting for the birth of their first child know this is not a joke you'll never sleep again and you'll mostly feel horrendous. Is he all right? I don't think it is a cry for help. Get in contact mate. No matter how much you can convince yourself like I do. Oh no! You will not be ready for it no matter what sorry what's he said now? he still this this is not? Oh no, God, you will not be ready for it no matter what... Sorry, what's he saying that?
Starting point is 00:04:27 He's still going. He's still going. Work on the show, lads. I listen every week and it helps me get through these early days. You're only three weeks in, mate. You've already said that, you're silly old bastard. You're that good. Stop editing your daughter screaming on quick time, mate and get some get some sleep. Oh man that email reads like my own inner monologue after both children. When does it get better stroke easier after this first month please? Question mark exclamation mark.
Starting point is 00:04:59 The truth is basically like you get sleep eventually but you're emotionally ruined by your children. Yeah exactly. My daughter right there was a bit of a running joke where they go I don't want you I want mommy you're spiky because I've got a beard they said they said they'll be like oh you're spiky but now it's sort of gone beyond the joke where it's just like no I don't. To the narrative is they just they don't the narrative they're just because they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they th th tho tho tho tho they. they. they. tho they tho they tho they they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're the want me near them. Yeah, yeah, for the last couple of weeks, that's sort of been what's going on. And it's not very, I don't, before he's like, oh yeah, they're saying I'm spiking, I'll get head jock. Now I'm like, fuck off then. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Fck you. Come on. Go on, give me a cuddle. I haven't got one hair on my body. Yes. I've been waxed within an inch of my life. Oh, is that your alarm? Yeah. What's that for? 10 past nine?
Starting point is 00:05:54 Uh, I think I snused it. I'll be honest with you, Rob. Where are you? I'm in a hotel room. Oh you jammy bastard. Rob, I woke up five minutes before this was going to happen. 8.55 a.m. Yeah. Oh my god, that bloke. Who was that bloke who's got the ump? Tony Pottinger from South Shields. Tony Pottinger. Is that Alan Bennett character? Tony Pottinger? Little Tony Pottinger. Little Tony Pottinger, little Tony Pottinger, worked on the market store, lived at him with his mom and a one up, two down, two down, one up, two down, why isn't it too off? I don't know, fell off. It's a triangular house he lived in, isn't it? Like, Pottinger and the isosoles. Well, do you know what, before anyone writes in, I thin' pottingers are one of the tiny little families from in the night garden.
Starting point is 00:06:45 How are they? Do you know the, do you know the in the night garden? Now we did, I swerve that because it made me feel like I was on drugs at Glastonbury. Yeah, that's why I watch it. Okay. It's the only outlet pop on in the night garden. I've done so much childcare this week. I'd look, last couple of weeks, Josh, I think, you know, we've both been touring and working
Starting point is 00:07:12 and I was a bit like, oh, are we doing enough childcare now to warrant talking about like our kids? This week, I have been, the coal face? The coal face? The cold face? The front of the train shoveling coal, isn't it, to keep it going? Oh, is that what it is? I think so. I thought it was like the face of the coal when you're down the mines. A coal face?
Starting point is 00:07:33 I can hear you clicking. I can hear the mouse clicking. Here we go, the coal face. The surface of which coal is cut. Oh right, I thought it was the... I've got it confused. I'm too tired for this. I don't think this is a podcast at the moment. This is two men surviving. It was a great podcast for 10 minutes, we absolutely ripped Tony got absolutely hammered. T.P got destroyed when he's at his lowest Deb. So he's done us a favour by sending in the wrong tread.
Starting point is 00:08:11 We absolutely dragged T.P. across the... The cold, the cold part, the coals? Yeah, that's the colds again. That's why I stopped myself. I was like, it can't be colds again. It's a cold. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. C. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the th. It's tod. It's tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. t t t today. t t t t th th the th the th have we got to that? It's the cold special. Right here we go right I'm gonna tell you what's been happening by a week Josh okay because you've been out gallivant in sleeping right so well first of all we've had a lot of questions when you're moving house what are you gonna do with your stove? Not moving you're not moving? You're not moving? Not moving? Went to see Very polite way to say you hated it. No, I didn't hate it at all, Rob.
Starting point is 00:08:47 It was a very nice house. Okay, we don't need to worry about the stove. Um, I think you will move, but maybe not to that half. Let's not, let's not get bogged down by that again. Right, so Josh, we weren't going to move. And then Rose was like, so maybe we could redo the kitchen. You're like, no, can we just not spend any money? It's not a trade-off. Now we're not spending a lot of money on stamp duty, why don't we do something else with that money? Now we're staying, maybe we should redo the kitchen. Or we just enjoy the house we've got. Or just leave it in the bank so Josh doesn't have to go celebrity, to to to to to go go go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the to the to the to the to the the the the to the the the tho. their. their. their. their. their. their. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. I. I. I. No. No. I. No, just just just just just just just just just just just just leave. So, just leave try. So, just just leave try. So, just just just just leave try. So, just just just leave it's. So, just leave it's just just leave it. So, just leave it's just leave it. So, just leave it in the bank so Josh doesn't have to go celebrity cooking by the campfire on Mars special on my TVB. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Do you know what though I am looking forward to that? Because genuinely Arge is a hoot. He's a hoot. That's not, I don't think he's a book for that one. I think he did the Venus special didn't? They do a different plan at each series. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual.
Starting point is 00:09:51 From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.c.c.c. to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers,
Starting point is 00:10:17 up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear. I'm thor savings, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply. I would say what happened this week, right? So I had the kids yeah. Yep. Three nights on my own. Here we go. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to t. to to to to to to to t. to to to to to to theee. to to thee. to to the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th.? Yep. Three nights on my own. Here we go. Here we go is the bloody cold face. Here we bloody go. Swimming, swimming lessons after one day at school yeah. Don't talk to me about swimming, Rob. Because the bags you have to pack, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, right? Happy days. The after school clubs are ballet, Taekwondo swimming. Whatek-hoondo? Yeah, bought with the outfit, never wears it. Takes it in a bag every week.
Starting point is 00:11:07 How into Taekwondo are they? I mean, how into Taekwondo is anyone? Even the Olympians aren't really that bobbled, are they? They all want to be footballers or basketball players or netball players, hockey players. So I don't throw shade in the Taekwondo community. I'll get my face. You too low Mohammed, who was the main pundit on Taekwondo during the Olympics. I spent a lot of time with him, obviously at 5 a.m. during the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Because that was the peak of me getting up a 5 a.m. was seeing watching the Olympics. Oh yes! So you feel like he connected with him? Yeah, I still follow him on Instagram and every time he comes up and every ti- times. I'm like, fucking hell this guy talks a lot about Taek ty-o'lunda. He's a nice bleak world news. Poor old Pottinger.
Starting point is 00:12:06 He's watching a fucking World War. Poor Tony Pottinger. Fuck me, you had a little bit of badminton, you know, a bit of a lot of Tokyo Mara I'll Potting was worrying about nuclear war hex. Fucking poor old Pottinger. Anyway, so, so swimming, mate, right? Okay, so swimming. It's fucking poor Tony Port Inja. Poor old Pottinger. Anyway, so swimming, mate, right? Okay, so swimming, I got there and I got,
Starting point is 00:12:29 I got psyched out by another parent in the, because I went to the cafe and waiting for swimming. And one of the peckers, Lou normally takes him, another pair went, oh don't they normally do four o'clock? And I'm running around panicking, right? And they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thua. thua. thua. they're that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thoomomomat. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. So, to to to to to swimming, to to to to swimming, to to to to to to to swimming. to to to to to swimming. th. th. that. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. toa. to-a. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. too tooomorrow. too to swimming, to swimming, to, going what? Oh God, oh God. And I'm running around panicking, right? And then actually know what it was. Too late. Don't bother running around, Rob, it's over. Give it up.
Starting point is 00:12:51 And then I run up, no, it is 4.30. And I've never felt more proud. I was really proud. And then I went into the change room. Can I make a plea plea please for like when you are a father of daughters or even boys, just children in general and you take them into the men's changing room, obviously men are getting changed but when there is a four year old girl in there, do you reckon you could not be swinging? Maybe just sort of turn your back or do you know they're just like bloc so cokes hanging about? I thought you meant your own I was like come
Starting point is 00:13:24 I tho you genuinely go bloody. Bl. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn. You're just just just just just just to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to their just just just just just sort just sort just sort just sort just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. their. their. their their. their their. their their their. You're just. I thought you meant your own. I was like come I thought it was a brag. I thought you genuinely go bloody how my cock won't stop swinging what's the problem? But how can I? No other blokes I mean they're dressed but like the dick's all swinging about. I'm like mate I've got children I'm trying to try need to walk around without a fucking tow on like even just for like adults you don't need to I don't want to see someone else's cock my kids don't need to see your cock just put your cock away mate there's children in the changing room yeah you know I mean but you can't go to go put you put your cock away because you're coming away put it away put it away there's a child there there's a there there's a c a child I I I I I I I I come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come a But you do go, this is a weird, horrible place. I don't like
Starting point is 00:14:05 it in there. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I find a toxic masculinity in the male chain room, let alone if I was a six year old girl. I know, it's ridiculous. And even like, but also as well, for boys as well, you're seeing a massive hairy cock in your face and it's an eye level! Do you know what I mean? That's not frightening up an elephant! John here something about my current... So my daughter... No, I can't swim, Rob, you know this. Come on, mate. I can't. What are you going to do? What are you going to do when you're teaching your kids to swim when you're in a...
Starting point is 00:14:40 I'm not there. Someone else is doing it for me? Yeah, but what if they're in trouble? What are you gonna do? That's fine, they'll rescue me, it's fine. I'll jump in and drown with them. Why don't you get a little puddle jumper thing on? That I recommended before and you wear one as well. Yeah, except my, can Rose swim? Yeah, of course. You've got to learn to swim. I know it's on the list drop but you know what every week I'm very busy and I don't think learn to swim ever is going to reach the top at this right and I know I should. So do you ever get in the pool
Starting point is 00:15:11 or in the sea? Yeah I can I can get in the I'm not like I'm not like let's put it this way I could do a width current. But he nearly crossed a channel. He's only got, he nearly crossed a channel. He's only got half the hands and feet. I know. If only it wasn't for letting him down. What did he let him down? The story? One celebrity I won't name, who we've just named, yeah. He wasn't very good at it. And he got in. And they were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were the story. What the story. What their. What their. What their. What their. their. He their. He their. He their their. He their their their they. He they. He they crossed. He they. He they crossed. He they crossed. He crossed. He crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they crossed. He they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He their. He the. He their. He the. He the. He their. He their. He their. He their. He their. He they. He they. He the. He the. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he we'll bleep it out. Yeah. He wasn't very good at it and he got in and they were doing a relay of an hour each. Yeah and he got in and he's swimming away and he's swimming away and he's going and then he shouts up and he goes how long have I got left? Yeah and they go 59 minutes. He's a joke. No, he's not he's exaggerated that.
Starting point is 00:16:08 He was fucking hell. He's a joke. He's a joke. He's a joke. He's exaggerated that. They did one minute. He was asking for a time check.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Did he get out? No, I think he carried on. But he's carried on, but they almost got there. They didn't, and then the current's changed or something, so they failed. The weather was too bad, right? They didn't complete the challenge. They didn't complete the challenge.
Starting point is 00:16:35 It's a shame, never mind. But you've got to learn, you can't the the the to go. So due to the way the pools books, the teacher who's brilliant, so she's very popular, she has had the amount of time she can use the pool cut down and you can no longer book it through her, you now have to book it on the pool website but basically what it means is the lessons are released eight days before the lesson at 10 p.m. and people have to go on like it's fucking like it's Glastonbury tickets Rob. How good is she it's teaching someone to switch? She's brilliant. She's absolutely incredible but
Starting point is 00:17:16 yeah you basically where it hasn't started yet but next week 10 p.m. the team on a Friday I've got last leg leg. Rose is gonna have gonna have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have to have to have to have to have to have got last leg, Rose is gonna have to go on. Like she's trying to get Glastonbury tickets and beat all the other parents to log on at exactly 10 p.m. It's gonna be absolutely unbelievable. It's gonna be funny watching the show and if you just like, you see you getting your phone out. And the phone's booking swimming. Sorry guys, I've really got to get the swimming the swimming the swimming the swimming the swimming the better gyms have got a new policy on how it works. Well, that's the problem.
Starting point is 00:17:45 If you're a swimming instructor, you're only as good as your pool. Exactly, exactly. And you can't build your own swimming pool. It's a tough. You know, if you're a toub thawn, a toub. A toub to be a toub. garden or whatever but if you're swimming you can just dig an old out go right everyone in the pond we're doing it here exactly I've got no space the pool hold all the cards there up they hold all the cards well that's
Starting point is 00:18:10 when you're you living in a cool London area that is gonna happen a lot exactly I'm just I'm just saying that's just life I've forgot that you the zone five where you just can't move for municipal swimming pools, can you? Oh, there's swimming pools everywhere, Randy. There's like two. You're in my hours, it's unbelievable. It's rare you get for a day without falling in a swimming pool, because there's so many, isn't it? My dog mainly just swims on his walks now. There's actually more space to swim than walk.
Starting point is 00:18:36 But, well, those bloody lessons Rob. Big day tomorrow Josh for me. Oh yeah. The school trip. Oh, I'm excited about this. Rob Beckett. Single file. Come on stick with your parents, stick with your pears. There we go off to Leeds Castle. Get your sandwiches out. Sit down, find a partner. Like, oh, I'll not my kid, get away from me. Oh, mate, you're gonna have to tell children off. No, I don't, I'm gonna be the fun one.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I'll leave that to the teacher. What the fuck do you that sheet, and then go to the fucking gift shop. Have you eaten your sandwiches already? You fat little bastard. Gobble, gobble, gobble, wobble, wobble. Fuck off. Get up, fuck sake. That's my seat. Get out of my seat, you little mug.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Fuck off, maggot. You fucking lizards out my way right you king every eight for a live here sir what do we see the little fat one at the end you won't keep up this is that's all fictional is a flashback school trips by any chance so I remember going to cabbrize world and someone stole my sandwiches and I cried at the way I will be a real fat world mate you must eat sandwiches okay I know but I didn't get any chocolate Oh my san-s I'm the san't! it it it it it it's th it's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that th that th th th th th th the the th th the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the least you're a cabbie's well mate who wants to eat sandwiches? I know but I didn't get any chocolate I just had my sandwiches all that was horrible but yeah yeah I was a little
Starting point is 00:20:12 fat boy at school yeah so I said to I said to my daughter right I'm going on school trip what do I need to do like what what what the rules and she said you can't what what the rules and she said you can't the rules what what what what what what what what what what what the rules the rules the rules the rules their the rules their the rules their the rules the rules their the rules the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th tho. tho. tho. tho. I was tho. I was their their their their they're they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're the rules and she said you can't say I can't which is their little motto at their school. Okay yeah you said you can't say I can't say I can't you get in trouble you've said that and I said okay what else you went you have to be polite yeah okay and then she said and the last rule is you're not allowed to say piss. So I feel like I think she thinks I'm the loose cannon. Is she excited or embarrassed by you doing this? She's actually excited so I'm very happy about because like I say I was really worried about like not our jobs were away a lot
Starting point is 00:21:00 but it's very feast and famines who are away for like a week not at all but then most days I'd drop him off at school really I'd say 50% of time I pick them up nearly 80 90% of time I drop them off to school and then like I'm around like and if I work from home a lot now so I'm around a lot and even if I'm gigging in the evening around a lot so I do see him a lot so I suppose the other dads and I the other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other I'm I'm I'm the other I'm they. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm to I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the to the the the the the the they I'm the the other kids didn't, they actually said you cannot go to their dads. Oh wow. Because they'd embarrass me. So we actually asked, because Lou really wanted to go and I said, well you go, you know, you're a
Starting point is 00:21:31 teacher, you really will get so. I want to go as well, but I'll go to the next one. And then she was like, we asked about me going, to be honest. So how much do you think you're going to hang out with her and how much, do you know what I mean? I'm going to, I'm going to try and keep away from her and be... But you're going to wear, Rob, are you going to be dressed as like a square adult? I might go too try and back. Backwards Baseball cap. Backwards baseball cap, my skateboard and a pair of yeasies.
Starting point is 00:22:07 What up kiddos? Look who's here. Ah man, this castle's rad. It's pretty groovy here, sir, sir. It's only a matter of time. God, it's pretty groovy here, yes, miss. And are you going to be Mr Beckett? Sir Beckett.
Starting point is 00:22:23 It's only a matter of time. Mr. Beckett, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. What tha. What tha. What tha. What's only a matter of time, Robert's only a matter of time. Mr. Beckett, I will demand Mr Beckett. I'm gonna be Mr Beckett, no one's ever calling Mr Beckett. They are, but they asked you to leave a premises. Come on Miss. I told you that when I got asked to leave the Peter Croucher after the euros, didn't I got got asked to the premises. I to to go, I to go, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I tho, I, I tho, I th tho, I got to to to to to to to to told, I'm to to told, told, told, told, told me, told me, told me, told me, told me, told me, told me, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the theree, theree, the to the to to to the the to the to the to the told me, to the told told me, told me, told to a game you know that the night of the KFC yeah you got viral after Germany I turned up I was flying it was absolutely unacceptable I was so loud and I was walking up because they filmed Lloyd was with me they filmed Lloyd singing the national anthem with me drinking a pint of beer playing the tambourine it was hilarious but we were
Starting point is 00:23:02 so drunk they actually couldn't put it on the BBC because you can't put people that are drunk on tele. It's sort of like, you know, the last thing that show would want his viewers. Oh, I was just at the today. So there is a, I've got a film video of it somewhere where Reese James, another comedian was there, and he filmed just doing it. A treath. A today? their their their their their, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. their, their, their, their, their, thr. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Of. Of. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their afterwards I was just at the back getting pissed but like treating it like a pub beer garden but it's a TV studio so they are they they escorted me off the premises and they said probably gonna have to ask you to leave and then and then and then also when I went back up you're an hour away from doing an Instagram that was gonna the theyrown. Yeah. Little did they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were. they were they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they took to took to to took to took to took to they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they they they they they they they they know that I would be by a bin. And anyway, yeah, but well, that was good that I got escorted off the premises. I thought it was a bad moment.
Starting point is 00:23:48 But then when I went back for the final, unfortunately, we popped in there for a drink, we obviously we lost. But Harry Kane's wife was there and all of Harry Kane's family and all of Harry Kane's. And I was chatting to her, it's really nice family from like a their the Keyes. I think it's Kate Kane. It's a really lovely family. Like really normal, just nice family from like Essex, or North London way. And we're chatting to him and they were giving me stick because I'm an Arsenal fan, blah, blah, and I was giving them, but they were like, I think it was like, I think it was like, like, thatheare, like, throwns, like, was obviously, that, that, thrown, they's, they's, they's, and like, and like, and know, around summer time. And he was trying to, so I was giving him loads of stick backs, obviously because I was drunk and he was trying to like, it was in a fun way.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Anyway, so they would give me stick, I was giving them stick and then I went off now, I went to their try and I couldn't find the right door, whatever and I went, and I thin't, and they, and th, and th, so, so, so, and th, th, th, th, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, was, they were, was, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they're, they're, they're, they're, they.. they. they. they. they. really nailed this. They came back in, it was in front of everyone, like Crouchy was there, all the crew, all the people that were on the show. And I think like, I think Wayne Rooney and Anton Deck were there, loads of, because he was right by the stadium, loads of people nipped in there to wait for the crowds and get a cab. So there was loads of on the door? Daniel Levy. Oh, Rob. Honestly, mate.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I like, thank you, thank you, Josh. That's one for the football fans. Football fans at home are going, that is great. People that don't like football are going, what the fuck is that, Anicester. Yeah, so basically, Daniel Levy is is is the chief is the chief is the chief is the chief is the chief is to contracts and Harry Kane wanted to leave in the summer, Daniel leave, you wouldn't let him leave leave and now his family want to leave a building and I've suggested that the chief exec of Tottenham is on the door and won't let them out. Really nice. Really nice. And then I did some follow
Starting point is 00:25:35 up not as good stuff. What do get four more beers and they went no the bar shut my leg. But you know I felt like a king treated like a key. Anyway oh so teachers Josh, you want to talk about do I find teachers at a score a bit like quite mysterious it's a bit like superheroes aren't they they're like they give you a ever referred to as their surname. Yes, yes. You know, Smith, Sir, or you go, this is Smith, Mr. Adams or whatever it is. And it's quite exciting when you knew the first name of your teachers at school. Do you remember that? Exactly, but I don't even, but I just thought that was because you're a kid, but now as an adult,
Starting point is 00:26:17 I don't know the first names of the first names of the first names of the first names of the first names of their the first names of their the first names of their their their their their their names of their names of their names of their names of the their names of the their names of the their names of their names of their names of their names of their names of their names. You don't! So I just all call the Mr. Something, you know, and like this, well you're going to be dead tomorrow. You've got to say to your teachers tomorrow when you're doing, you're doing, wherever you go in, you've got to say, look, I'm Rob, what's your name? I quite want to try and like, I fancy a couple of friends after the trip. Yeah, hey, man, you you you fancy fancy fancy fancy, you fancy, you fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy, their their their their to fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy, their to fancy, to fancy, to the to fancy, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your your your your your your your your your your to your your your your your your your to your to your their, where, where, where their, where their, where their, where their, where their, where their, where to to to tha, where tha, where tha, where ta, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, where tea, where tea, where ta, where ta, where tha, oh what, mate, just cut the fucking lads having a fucking beer after a school trip. Hey, mate, listen to this, right? Are you aware of the Tottenham transfer policy? Listen to this, right? Yeah, but you're, who are you?
Starting point is 00:26:52 You totally, the's a story for you? Sit down. I'll get these these they. You're getting this live in your face mate, come on. Have a drink, let's do this. Tuesday night, I've done a school trip on top the world. I couldn't be further away from the doghouse brother. I've done a school trip, looked after the kids for three nights last week. I could do what I want to try.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Have you heard of Crouchy's World Cup or what it was called? My jam was on it until the final and then she went off to America to go and see a NBA playing boyfriend. That bloke from Taskmaster who was in the music, you remember him. No, no, no, not the big one, the other one, right? Here we're on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't follow football. Okay, don't worry. I've got? What, we got? What, what, the three days with your kids, Rob? Do you know what? It was like, it wasn't too bad because they were in school and stuff, but
Starting point is 00:27:50 it's just like... What is it like... What is it like... What, when he got... It's like, when he's just, it was like, it, it, it, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, was, was, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, was, the, the, the, think, and I wanted to say, it was actually, there was moments obviously when they're kicking off and they're arguing and whatever, but like now, they're old enough now where they are in school and it's a little bit, a lot easier, you know what they're doing the stuff, but I think, and I think, and I was quite proud of myself, that it wasn't actually whatever. But I was like, actually I'm really proud that, you know, because I have spent a lot of time with him, I can just do this. And they go like, oh, when can mommy take me to school?
Starting point is 00:28:28 And like, I remember growing up, my dad, because he worked so hard and he never really took us to school and stuff, and he was always working, mental thing but now I'm quite happy that it's so boring for them at which I think it's a good thing to be so it wasn't actually they are bored of you they don't give a shit about you and it's a good thing it's a good thing it don't want to talk to me they're gonna to they'd they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to they to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to talk to me, they don't want to listen to me. But you know what's weird, it was actually, it was mentally more tyrin looking after them than physically, like I actually find it easier though, to be fair, when they're really little because when you're there a baby, it's sort of like, literally, if you've got
Starting point is 00:29:12 to them for like three days, you just do it, like, you're thrown, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, age, it's quite exhausting. Oh God, you've got to do this, you've got to do that. They're going, she said this, she said that, what about me? And when there's one of you, there's no good, bad cop, you know, I mentioned like a solo parenting, and like the people that are, you know, raising the kids on the other person coming back to help out. So massive respect to anyone that's doing that. It's really impressive but you know I did enjoy it to finish it was it was nice but I found myself getting a bit salty with people I was tired. I got a bit sort in a car park Josh. Yeah car park in front of the kids. No they were in school I'm walking into the the shop and parent bay. Oh here we go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm is is. I'm is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm walking into the shops. A lady was parked in the child and parent bay. Oh, here we go. No child. Oh, come on now. I'm walking past and I'm giving a sort of like
Starting point is 00:30:10 slight sort of passive aggressive people's. Just like, oh god, I've got no time for you, you're a loser, that kind of thing. And she went, oh, aren't you, aren't you, aren't you that that person off the tel, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, aren't, thi?? Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi, thi, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thrown. Oh, thr, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown. Oh, thrown. Oh, thi, the tell I went yes I am yes I am have you met Harry Kane is an anecdote for you sit down don't worry about the freezer stuff you'll enjoy this she said you know you have to tell you yes I am off the tell and aren't you parked in a child by without a child oh what a slam absolutely and her face dropped because normally if you say if you call someone out on it it's an instant act of micro aggression straight away isn't it you're accusing someone or something she's come she's opened up the chat and I've got yes I am and so she's asked a question of
Starting point is 00:30:55 a child but they're not there and he went it doesn't count consider yourself judged and I I walked off oh mate! Oh mate! Felt good she was all over the place mate I was judged and I walked off. Oh mate. Incredible. Incredible. It felt good. She was all over the place, mate. Can I say, you know what, when people say that, what's it like, you know if you're on the tele or whatever and you get recognized? Do you know what is?
Starting point is 00:31:13 It's like, you know when you'd walk along and you think you know someone, you know, and if you're, like before I was on the tele, if they look back at me and sort of gave me a second look, I'm like, oh, I must do because they've looked at me. And then we go, oh, we used to live near each other or we used to go to school together. But when you're the tell, if you do that look and they look back anyway I told her she'd been judged. Oh and did she move a car? No she didn't she was packing out to go. Also I sort scurried in in case she had a big like scary like boyfriend or cousin with her. Or son? Yeah or son just massive geese and gets out of her when them 12 year old car suits. Oh I did some I think I'm getting like right into the school run now I did two bits of just like small ch ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small ch small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small. the small. the small. the small. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that she's that she was that she was that she was that she's she's she's she's she th th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was'm getting like right into the school run now. I did two bits of just like small chat, small talk banter, where as we pulled up, because it's a driving drop-off system at the school, one-way system.
Starting point is 00:32:13 So they've jumped out and then the head teachers there's got their hair, it's like really, like, really, like, thrown, like, sort of looks like, thirty......... So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thus, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, went, and I went, and drove off. It was like, I was like, I'm in, now. This is like, I'm in now. This is sort of like, quick back on foot. And then on the way back, there was a guy, Granddad Chris walked his daughter into school, like, you know, his granddaughter in, had had a drink on Saturday. I couldn't go because I was looking after the kids flew us away and he'd been out drinking at the thing because it was his son's party till like three in the morning and drove past and hello Granddad Chris bit hung over are you and oh little bit he went huh he went to throw and I drove
Starting point is 00:32:54 off and I thought you know what you're smashing it you are smashing the school love it oh that you're on fire you're saying what you're they you're they you're they you're they they they they they they they they that you're that's you're that's oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh that's you're so so so so so so so so so so you're that's I I that's I that's I'm so so so so you're so so you're that's I that's I'm s s s s to blank someone on the school around unbelievable. Oh mate you'll get into zone 5 it's just a different world here. It's a different world people like each other. People like it and I've got a complaint as well Josh I've got a complaint about the mountaineering place. Whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah if you've got a complaint about that shop you really got the all weather mountaineering shop in whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're you you you you you you you you you the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they're they're they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they a complaint about that shop, you really got to get the, oh, what, the mountaineering shop in, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I went in there, I needed a backpack, I needed a backpack, right? I wanted a nerdy dad backpack, so I went in, try and a cuddly tapack. So I've got a backpacked topullain, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they.. Oh, their. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh,trip. Put your lunch and your clip on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And also like family days out. I'm getting one that's got good support so I can put all the stuff in here because you end up carrying everything so I've got a good trip. Are you very good. No, I'm like. I might take it. I might take it. I'm going to go into the shop and support the high street
Starting point is 00:34:07 because, you know, it's good to support the high street. Anyway, so I went in there and he went, oh, I left, I left, I went, I don like, oh brilliant, well this is great. And it was a really lovely guy. This is life. Couldn't fall the customer service in Bromley, Blacks, the Mountaineering Shore, right? And that was all lovely, and then I paid the money on my card in the shop. And yeah, that'll be with you in a couple of days. Well, this is great. So I've managed to support the high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high to carry I don't think so. Bloody I want a bag for a bag. I bought a Russian doll.
Starting point is 00:34:46 I'll buy a Russian doll. Anyway, I've paid you for it. Get an email. Oh, unfortunately your bag's not in stock. I was like, what the fuck? Oh, never mind. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. to the refund, you need to visit the store with the card you bought? Oh no! Fuck you! Fuck off on the street! Do you know what Rob?
Starting point is 00:35:09 you'll never get in that refund. I'm not going back up. There's no way you're putting that time aside. So far down on my to-do list. That is always one too many things on the to-do list. Three quid a parking. Yeah. Just refund me now. Why the the the the their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to go. to th. Oh, tho. Oh, to to to to to to to to, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob. Oh, Rob. Oh, Rob. Oh, th. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the thi. Oh, the tho. Oh, to to to to to to to to to to to the to tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh about three quid of parking. Yeah. You've got just refund me now. Why can't you do it down the phone? I don't know. And I message them on Instagram and they've blanked me. Oh, they blanked you. Yes. Lovely.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Lovela not you've done on the podcast. Black's underscore online, you're getting it. I did start with such a sort thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' tho' tho' tho' th' th' th' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' th. I' th. I' th. I' thi. I' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to to to to the. I' tho' to to to tho' tho' to tho' tho' to tho' tho' tho' tho' tho going to store and I said this can't be true surely. If you haven't got the start can't you just refund my card? Nothing. Nothing. I'm going to reply to that. Oh the silent treatment is it? Yeah. I can't believe you've slipped into Black's DMs. That's incredible. But I know I know they've been online because they've been posted about other things. There's a pair. I. I. I. I. I. I they. I they. I they. I they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've th. I have th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If. If. If. I have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I've th. I've th. I've just th. I've just th. I've just the. the. the. thei thei thei thei thei thea. the. their their the. I know they've been online because they've been posted about other things. There's a pair of Merrill Boots they've just posted about four days ago. Oh no. Look at this, two days ago they're talking about their collaboration with RAB.
Starting point is 00:36:15 With RAB? Dominic RAB? Dominic RAB? We've got a live email Rob. But have you seen we've got an email? Have you checked your email since it started? No, I haven't. What's happened? What's happened? Oh, no. We've just got an email.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I'm not saying this for effects, Rob. But we actually got to, I've forgotten that this might to be happening. And now it's been that, info and the extra shows being added this week. Oh, Wednesday. I've got an email. Oh, this is live. Oh, this is exciting. I'm just finding out.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Oh, we're doing them. Yeah. I knew there was talk, but I didn't know. And it says 10 a.m. today, the today is I read an email. I mean that was talk, but I am so out of the loop in my own life. Right, okay so the Manchester and London dates are doing almost sold out, aren't they? So we've added more podcast live shows. Yeah. So as you can tell me, Rob are heavily across the itinery of the tour. We're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their their. the their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the tour. We're just we're just little pawns in their
Starting point is 00:37:26 game Josh. Little boy has been sent to cities. So this is what's happening so Wednesday the 19th of April 2023 Nottingham Motor Point Arena Thursday the 20th of April 20th two-point Arena. What is Moatif? The 23rd. I don't think that's the big takeaway for this information. Sorry. I'm not going to the show actually if it's Motorpoint. It's like a kind of car buying thing.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Yeah, what do you think it was going to be? A new pen run on petrol. Okay. Sunday the 23rd of April 20th, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm th. I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I that's, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I th. I, I th. I th. I, I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I A new pen run on petrol. Okay, Sunday to 23rd of April, 2023, London, OVO, O-O-Arena, Wembley. What the fuck is O-V-O-O-O-O-V-O-O-Ino? I think I'm with OVO, O- Oh, great guys. Absolute, do you know what? Do you know what? I double check that mate before you say that. Yeah, yeah, good. I should check their shareholders.
Starting point is 00:38:29 But, um. So this is, so basically, this is, we've been told it. Schedule, as follows, Tuesday, the second of March, Parenting Hell, Mailing List pre-Sale and Ovo pre-Sale, 10 AM. So, Wednesday, the Second of March, Parenting Hell, Mailing List pre-Sale, so if you sign up to the Maine-Lis list, you'll get the link. If you're listening to it on the Dev release, then you can get in ahead of other people to get to the Motorpoint Arena, Notting, and the M M M.... And to. And to.au and to.au.au.au.au. Som. Som. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. So. to. to. So. So. So. So. And. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the April next year. Yep so sign up to the main list and you'll get the link on Wednesday the second of March this week
Starting point is 00:39:08 to buy tickets to Nottingham, Cardiff and Wembley. Thank you very much. That's exciting Josh isn't it? If you're one of those people that does want to sign up to the mailing list take you gamble it's out on Friday General Sale 10 AM. There you go. Yeah, for the wrist takers, for the looseness. Yeah, scampol you alive. I don't want them to have my bloody details. I will sacrifice potentially not getting a ticket like Josh going to child swimming. I will buy this as a guest, continue as a guest. I don't want to log into your system. Anyway, Josh, I have blabbered on this. No, I think we've both blabbered on. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered. I've both blabbered on. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thob. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. thoe. thoe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Pot, was it, was it? The Pottinger? The Pottinger. That Pottinger? Pottinger seemed about a week ago. Oh mate, poor old Potts. He's had another hour of his
Starting point is 00:39:53 life that will never get back. Pottingenio? Do you reckon he gets called Pottingio by his football by his football friends? Yeah but he's not turn up all tide and sad and a bit heavier. Oh, do you want to hear a good football nickname? I play football with a bloke called Hish and he's a really good goalkeeper. And someone called him Shaka Hishlop. Oh really good. There's a lotlop and Hishlop. Lovely stuff isn't it. And they're all about the same age. We all know Shacker Hishlop is now. He's actually talk about current goalkeepers and no one knows them.
Starting point is 00:40:32 No, exactly. And there was that really funny with the Chelsea goalkeeper yesterday, which was one of the funniest. football because I was doing my radio to show guys five till seven on Sundays if you want to listen also can I ask something can I quickly ask I think guys can you do me a favor go on BBC Sounds and listen to my radio show from radio to you know I might do that even if you're not actually listening to it just leave it on in the background it really helps your numbers oh yeah I used to do that just you know help a brother out on the BBC. The old Channel 4, go on all four, press play, put it on as a background window and then carry on with my work. One more, one more for the vault. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:41:12 so what happened with Chelsea? Why is someone watching last leg at 10 a Mondon on a Monday? That is a weird decision. All day for five days, that's really big fans in East London. And Australia and in Huddersfield, strange, strange numbers. Right, so do you want to do some Instagram messages or have you got a lot to talk about your week? I've had things come up this week, but should we do them on Friday? Should we hold them back for Friday? Should we do, let's do yours on Friday and we'll do some emails or, some emails or Instagram. So I've got a couple of good ones there.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Why not? Talking about long, oh this is, this is really ties in perfectly, it's one's about coal, weirdly enough. Oh yeah, go on, go ahead, the longest grudges. Um, yes, please. Oh, yes, please. Keep, keep going. to it whilst Rocky my second baby born in April to sleep. Rob mentioned about odd long standing grudges recently. My great-granddad born 1898 was a coal merchant and when a branch of co-op opened in the next village he told his daughter, my grand, she wasn't allowed to shop
Starting point is 00:42:17 there as they sold bags of coal and they'd put people like him out of business. He died in 1950. But she continued to boycott the shop until the day she died. Oh wow. This meant that when collecting my sister from school in that village, she would drive an extra 10 minutes to nip to the shops the things she needed, driving past the co-op on the way. I now live in that village, and I don't dare tell her I shop I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thed, thed, thed, thed, thed, thed, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thed..... thed thed thed, thed, thed, thed, thed, tho, thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, thoooooo, that, that, that that that, that that that, that, that, that thoed I don't dare tell her I shop there as I knew she would hit me with a story of Grandad-Adlen and his coal business.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Grandad-ad-Lan. She passed away in 2014 so I only now feel free to shop at the Co-Oat. Thank you. Absolutely incredible. Love that. Love that. We've got a new shop near me Rob. Guess what they're the shop near me Rob. to the the shopper to to to the shopp. to to to the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. they's th. they's they's they're th. th. th. they're they's th. th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's their. She's their. She. She's the the the the the the the the the th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's th. She. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's the. She's to tho. to to tho. tho. to tho. to tho. She's tho. She's tho. She's thoa. She believe this, Rob. Let me get candles, candles or honey. Do you know what, Rob? Someone's decided to open a coffee shop in Victoria Park. I can't believe it. They've really... Another one?
Starting point is 00:43:12 What I want. What are the blue sky thinking for you? Um, how many? How are they? How they're the little ones? four, six. There's only about 12 shops. I know it's great. And what about, are there any brands, or are they just little ones, little local ones? Gales. Their cheese twists are fucking incredible gales, so do you know what? Sign me up. It's got to be, there's probably one of the unhealthiest things you could eat in it, a cheese twist. Yeah, but man, it's crispy and it's crispy and, sorry, we've we. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, that, their, their, their, their, their, their,, we've turned into a gamble and James Acaster. Carry on. Nah, there's been way more laughs.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Hi Rob and Josh, been listening since before I was a mom and now I have a 10-week old little girl, Maya Rose. About 20 years ago, my mom and dad bought a futon from Argos. When it arrived, there were little holes in the wooden arms. They were obvious. After some back and forth with Argos, they refused to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their laughs their laughs their laughs their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their laughs. their, there were little holes in the wooden arms. They were obvious. After some back and forth with Argos, they refused to come and collect it. They had delivered it. They said we'd have to take it apart and drop it off, and were awkward about a replacement. My mom had just come out of hospital at the time after having major surgery and my, I don't, I don't, I don't, you know, you can't say, you, you, you can't, you, you, you can't, you, you, you, you, you can't, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that is, you know, that is unfortunate, but I don't, yeah, no, she did, yeah, anyway, my mom, after a tiny pen incident, yeah, my mom had just, my mom had just come out of hospital at the time after having major surgery and my dad threatened to put the foot on outside Argos with her laying on it in a hospital gown to get some attention. I mean, that is brilliant PR. Until this day, he won't shop there if something is cheaper. And if I buy anything there in Argos, I dare not tell him.
Starting point is 00:44:51 It is all to my benefit. As I tell him, I can't afford something I need to buy it cheaper in Argos. And he'll buy it somewhere else. That's amazing. as a threat that she's going to get it from Argos and he buys it somewhere else. Thanks to keeping me laughing the last few years. See you in Manchester. Alicia. Alicia, Larin, she actually spelt it out, she's put Alicia and in bracket, Al-Aisier.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Larrington, Al-I-S-S-I-A-A-Larlington. Al-Irington. Larrington. I'm up from Larrington. It's all right, train from Wimslow, it's only 45 minute cab from Wimslow to Larrington. Great, great trained network down to London. Do you know what, Rob? That was a much better delivery of a generic northern accent than I thought it was going to be. That was really strong. You know what? I think I'm becoming an all-rounder. Do you?
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah, I think I'm really, I'm really, you know, I started off as a cheeky little chance, but I think I'm becoming quite a sort of like, you know, showbiz guy now. Yeah, I think I've got it. I think you're a showbiz chance in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th I th I th I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I th. I th. I think I think I think I think I think I think I th I th I th I th I th I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really really I'm really really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I'm really I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I'm really really really, I think I think I th. th. I th't sorry though that's separate that separate sorry sorry I thought there was a ps it's just someone else saying this is Andy a dash n dash D I'm joking he just left it as Andy he hasn't told me how to spell Andy and guys I love the podcast keeps the insane this slightly more sane you wanted to know about holding a grudge recently I took this to to to the ultimate to the ultimate to the ultimate to the to the to the to the the to to the the the to the to the the to the the to to the the the the to to to th I to to the to to to the the the the to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I the th I th is is is is I the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. theeeeeeeeeeean. the is the the the the the to know about holding a grudge recently, I took this to the ultimate level of my professional tennis career. All right, mate, calm down Andy. It's not Murray, is it? Basically, my mum has been following me around for years. So now, whenever she goes to the shops, I'm 10 feet behind with a stern face. My mate won't get jabbed and I said you can't play in the Australian open. And I'm refusing to go to Serbia.
Starting point is 00:46:47 I used to never go back... Here we go back, I went to a whole nudge. I used to take this to the Ombudmant level of my professional tennis career. I used to never go back to tournaments where I lost. Quite simply I run out of tournaments across the UKN in a Europe? That is incredible. Do you know what though Rob? I do that kind of thing. You know when comedians, comedians are like, if I do badly on a show or at a gig, I'm like, right, I'm going to show them next time. I did badly Rob. I never mind the Buzzcocks in 2013 and I have never gone back. I've gone, Do you know what? It's not for me.
Starting point is 00:47:26 I was bad on that show. And it was running a bit like, it's can, oh no, it has come back again, hasn't it? But it got canceled for a little bit and then you still could have gone on. But you know what? I got asked to go again and I was like, do what? Do you know what? I'mthe ego that is. The ego goes, I'll show them. And the problem is when you run off an ego, it's not coming from the right place because you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You're not doing it because it makes you happy and you enjoy it. You're doing it to prove a point to someone else. And if you're constantly live your life trying to appease people and work to their interpretation of success, you'll never be. Even if. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin' thin' thrown. thin' thrown. thin' thrown thrown, thrown, thr. tho. tho. thoe. thoe. tho. thin' the. the. the. You's the. You's the. You's th. You's th. You's th. You's th. You's th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin. And, thr. And, thr. And, thr. And, thrown, t t t t te. And, tea. And, tea. And, tea. And, throwne. And But the real reason is to accept how it went and go, well, that's just what happened.
Starting point is 00:48:08 And it's not because you're good or bad or whatever, that's just what happened in that moment. So you're doing the right thing, Josh. You're an inspiration. Thanks, mate. Thanks, yeah. I'm slowly, one by one, doing badly. thinn't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. thoooooo. thoo. thoooo. thooo. that's not because that's not because thooo. that's not because that's not because that's not because your week and a couple more messages on Friday. Do you want me to tell you do want me to trail my week Rob? I've got calling I've got something getting into our house and I've got my struggles to sleep in a hotel. Brilliant love it. That can't wait for that on Friday with a great guest and I've got good news you Rob. Yeah the guests are gau-a' the guests. the guests. the guests. the guests. the guests. I the guests. I the guests. I the guests. I the guests. I the guests. I the guests. I the the the the the the the the tr. I tr. I's tre. I's true. I got try. I've got tre. I's got true. I've got something. I've got something. I've got something. I've got something. I've got something. I'm got something. I'm tr. I'm got something. I got something. I got something. I got something. I got something. I's got tr. I's got tr. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's got. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm going. I'm going. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I've got something. I'm tr. I'm tr. We'll talk about crawling Josh's struggles to sleep in a hotel room and something getting in the house alongside talking to a footballer. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:50 We haven't just got it. Apparent. Yeah. Hello from Scotland, Rob and Josh. I love, love, love the podcast. Makes the housework so much more bearable. The kids do think I'm nuts laughing at myself though. Can I get a small business shout out please? I open the Ginger Cat Children's Book Shop in Kilm-K-I-L-M-A C-O-L-M at the end of last year after leaving my job as a health visitor. I've never run a business before and I'm
Starting point is 00:49:15 learning as I go but I absolutely love it and love all the families that visit the shop. I'm on Facebook at the Ginger Cat Bookshop and Instagram at the Ginger Cat Children's Bookshop. I would be so grateful for a shout out. Thanks, Eileen Jeffrey. You can buy, I'm sure you can order books and order your children's books and get them sent if you don't live in Kilmerconn. Why not?
Starting point is 00:49:37 Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Instagram. . Everyone do it. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tho, tho, tho, tho, Instagram or Facebook, and order your children's books from there. Do it, everyone do it, and then, you know, support a small business. She exclusively sells Garfield books,
Starting point is 00:49:50 so that's what we should make it. She does, she does, they are funny. He loves, he loves, he loves lasagna that cat. He just loves it. It's like you. It's like me. Finally, that's why I identified with him. Well, this is a non-London special. Please keep saying that we have so many sort of South, especially London-based businesses. So if you're not in London, we like to give you a shout,
Starting point is 00:50:10 as well, this is like we saw a non-London special. We had to Scotland, we have now got Newcastle, or Northumberland, close to Newcastle. I love your podcast. I run a small business called Murphy and Me that's at Murphy and me co co CEO at the end. I create personalized illustrations family portraits children's nursery illustrations pet portraits it would mean the world for you to share my work I went full-time with this little business throughout lockdown so every little helps thank you Francis so that's Murphy and me co on Instagram. Look at that look at us spreading the lava across the country Josh. Do you know what Kent isn't the central business hub that we are making it out to be. The world doesn't
Starting point is 00:50:57 revolve around Kent. Oh there there go Murphy me lovely little drawings there and a little baby. Oh very nice. Right. Support those businesses and yes remember sign up to the main list Cardiff Nottingham and Wembley Arena go on sale on Wednesday. Do you know what Robbilly? We haven't really talked about that is quite exciting. We're playing Wembley. We're playing Wembley. We're playing Wembley. We're playing Wales. We're doing an international tour. We're playing Wales. We're playing in Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales Wales, Wales, Wales, we're doing in in in in in in in in in in in in in, we're doing in, we're doing in, we're doing in, we're doing in, we're doing in, we're doing the international, we're doing in, we're doing the international, we're doing in, we're doing the international, we're doing the international, we're playing Nottingham. International Tour. Yes, that is technically an international tour, isn't it? All those people that said, can you play? Cardiff, Nottingham, you've got your wish.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Right, see you next on Friday. See you on Friday. See you on Friday. Bye. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.