Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP27: The One Where Josh Google's himself...
Episode Date: May 3, 2022S04 EP27: The One Where Josh Google's himself... More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh... Enjoy. Rate and Review. BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories ...we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth. ⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents) ⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... PARENTINGHELLBOOK@BONNIERBOOKS.CO.UK What's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)? And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick? Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike. Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBook If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully,
how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill.
Nate.
Can you say Rob Beckett?
Joe, Beckett.
And can you say Josh Whitticum?
Just Wigglyworm.
A bit disrespectful.
Bit disrespeakable?
Whiggly worm, was it?
Where a fellow, Wiggly bum, didn't it?
And can you say, Josh Widdler?
Wigglyworm. My daughter's doing a sponsored wiggle.
I'll talk about that in a minute.
You what?
Your daughter's doing a sponsored wiggle?
Yeah, I'll talk about that, mate, don't you worry.
There's a recording of my son Nate, who's nearly four.
He was fairly late to speak, and to encourage him, I'd walk around the supermarket,
saying every single item I put in my trolley Tim, which he would never respond. One day, whilst doing the usual, he just paused for a moment, at the top of his lungs shouted, Rob Beckett.
Ooh!
He also finds Josh's surname rather amusing.
Cannot believe he isn't Josh Gad, voice of Olaf in Frozen.
So whenever he hears Olaf's voice, he proclaims it to be Josh Wigglyworm.
Absolutely love the podcast.
Been avid listenerthrough the pandemic. Katie, who is 424 months, Nate
46 months and Grayson 6 months from North London. 442 months is that?
424 months, is that how that works? 424 divided by 12? Is that how it works? That's how it works.
35 and 3 months? About 36? About, I don't know, 12 months. Yeah, about 412? That's how it works. That's how it works? 35 and 3 months? There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty-4. th. th. thirty thirty-4. th. th.'s how it works. 35 and three months. There we
go. A 305-ish. I went back, that was pretty good maths by me, wouldn't it? Very good. Yeah. It's
almost like I pretended to be bad at it on countdown to get rebooked, but let's not get bogged
by that. No, let's not get bogged down by the intricacies of how panel shows work. Now I want you to be average
on it Rob. Go and be bad. I'm quite good at the maths but I'm so shit at the words. I've never
got over a five. Well that's the problem isn't it? What's the point of just being boringly
average at it? You might as well just really go for it. Oh is that a baby in the ban't be a bag. I think I th. I probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably is. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I is probably probably probably probably is probably is probably is. the their. I their. I their. I the the the the their. I their. I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I their. I their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm a sponsored wiggle. My child who's in preschool nursery goes to proper school next year.
They're doing a sponsored wiggle.
So when she needs to get sponsorship, because she's going to be dancing and wiggling, that's
school for a bit.
How much are you sponsoring her?
Well, if she gets over a hundred pounds in sponsorship, she gets a wooden plaque and a cuddly toy after she does a wiggle and a lollylog, toe, for charity but I don't think wiggling's enough.
Go for a fucking walk with them. Yeah. Do you know what? I know? I know they're listening to this
and I don't tell them for? Well I don't know. I mean to be sponsored that much money I'd reckon
10 hours minimum. Yeah 100 yeah she's got me doing like a Sophia Lispecta-style long-form challenge, doesn't she? Yeah, exactly. A dance-a-thon?
Do you want me to tell you the worst thing that happened to me, Rob, while you were away?
Yeah, go on.
I'd forgotten about it and then I looked at my, I looked at my list of things that have happened to me, that I've noted, tho, to pick, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, to pick, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thrown, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th........ I, th, th, th.... I, th. And, th. I, th. I, th. I, tho, to, tho, to, to, tho, to, to, to, to, to-s. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too But then I had to go and pick it up from a,
where the studio is in Hackney.
What was it, the Brooklyn Bridge from IKEA?
Yeah.
They just had to print another one off.
Is that, do you know what one of the tennis players scratching her ass?
Oh, that's a good one, because it's like, oh, of the world. But um, no, so I had to go and pick it up from,
so the studio was part of a kind of block of studios with a reception and they said,
well leave it behind reception, right? So I turn up at reception, a drive to it, get that.
There's a big tube with a piece of art behind the reception for me, Josh ridicum. And this guy, and this guy, he's no tholololol is is is is no thiiolol, he's thiol, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. the the th. the the th, th, the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeean, toooooooooooooooooooooooom, the, the, the, th. knowledge of this being there, he finds it and he's like,
okay cool, have you got any ID? Okay, sure. I think that's something that's good of him?
Yeah, I think it's the right thing to do. I'm like, I haven't got any ID.
Fair enough, yep. He's like, when you don't go your wallet, I'm like, well, no, because I've got Apple pay to the wallet, thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap an th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to be, thi. th. that. that. that. I's, that. that. that. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, th. I've th. I've th. I've, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thi. thi. thi. to take my wallet out these days. Oh, that's so modern. And he's like, well I can't give you the art then.
So then, what did I do, Rob?
Oh no, you do, you go, Google?
I said I'll have to just Google myself.
And he was like, oh, whoa.
Well, okay.
This is, I can't, I can't. you've done this but I'm not comfortable with it. No I'm not comfortable with it but the other option was leaving without the heart. Okay so talking through
the Google, could I ask a couple of questions? Yeah. Did you just Google your name?
Yeah. Did you pick the photo or did you pick? No, he showed him the full a Google
image search? Right, fair enough. I put the words Josh would have come into Google. A bit of a problem in the the the the the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other other other other other other other other other o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' o' option. I o' option. I o' option. I o' option. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. put the words Josh Widicum into Google. A bit of a problem in the there was a very bad phone
coverage so I had to actually walk outside to do the Google and then walk back
in. Oh that looks more suspicious. What like a screen grabbed a home screen of
Google and then photoshopped it so that I am Josh Whiticum. Yes. It was
it was mortifying Rob. I never thought my life would come to that point. So what did he say? He didn't quite understand what was going on,
but as soon as I showed him the Google screen,
he was fine with it.
Right, okay, so when you Google that,
you've got a lot of pictures you come up.
So and it worked.
Yeah, it did work, but it was a low moment in my life,
Rob.
Do you know what I mean? Has it come to this? I'm Google image searching me, just to show it to a man who works on reception.
Sorry, I'm stuck on your Google searches.
You've got about nine different fucking faces.
The stages of Josh, when you first broke through,
you look about 57.
The first one of you, you look so old.
Put these on the group.
The different stages of Josh, right. Put these on the group. I'm going to put these on the group. I'm going to put this on the group. I'm going to send this one to it.
We'll put all of these up in one post.
And there's one of you, you look like, you look really old.
It looks like, it's 1993 and you're 52.
Yeah, right?
You look old there. This one, you look sexy as fuck, like you are some sort of built surfboarder.
Yeah, I don't know if I do, Rob.
I think you look great there, and then this one, this is the one why they always ask,
are you disabled on the last leg?
What?
Right, when has that even taken?
Look you?
I've got no memory of that.
But you look really fit in that middle one?
I don't think I do. I think you look really...
That little bit of stubble suits you?
No, I don't know about that. Can you do a full beard?
No, of course I can't roll but otherwise I'd have done it, wouldn't I?
It's a terrible time to...
Everyone's got a fucking gay man that would have been your grinder profile and now this one this is
housewife. This is when you present country foul and you're going to be
housewife's choice Josh Whitakam. Oh my god look at that one where the
hell is that? You can do sexy if you want do you know that? Unbelievably you got
it in a locker. Against all odds, I don't know how.
Because then you can do sexy, but then you can also look like a turtle.
Do you know what the worst thing is?
This is the exact same conversation I had with the security guy.
He went through all the pictures and had the exacts.
I was like, just give me my art, and let me go and he's talking he's like he's another one he's an other one so we got here look a little funny in this one
sorry I'll stop doing that you can do it to me another time my Google in his
church I'll look forward to that oh so that's that happened to me oh dear
so that is quite embarrassing yeah so what else happened to me yeah so that thou' that is the one where they's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th i thi thi thi thi thi that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thi thi that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is th is thi thi thi thi the thi the the the the thi the the the thi thi the thi thi thi that is that is that is that is that is that is that is our baby. Oh God, that's, is that the one where
they put a blanket over your head and you hold the baby? How do you do it?
What? No, I'm not being ushered out of a courtroom. Like, no, so the way they do it, well
went, went to Snappy Snaps. Yeah. And basically we had to kind of sit him down and then I just have to kind of hold him down him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him, the the the to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, and you, how, how, and you, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the the the the the the the the the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, how to, how to, how to, how to, how to, to kind of hold him but I need to kind of be out of the picture. Right, okay, fair enough, but I think there's a way where you, yeah, so you just hold him up to
the side. Rob, he looks absolutely livid. He was crying, he looks so angry. I mean I said,
I think I've got the photo. The funny thing is so you have to use that photo to so they're about four. Yeah, he looks looks thso. thso. He thso. He thso. He looks thso. He looks thso. He looks thso. He looks th. He looks th. He looks th. He looks tho. He looks to tho. to tho. to tho. to look to look to look to look to look to look tho. tho. to look to look to look to look to look to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. He th. Rob. Rob. Rob. He th. Rob. Rob. Rob. He looks. He looks tho. He looks tho. He looks tho. tho. Rob. tho. tho. tho. thoo. Rob. Rob. Rob. He's tho. He looks tho. He looks tho. He looks tho. He half now, and she flew to America on a passport for her at six months old.
No, two months old, because we went on a holiday when she was two months old.
He is so angry. Oh my god. He's livid, and he's got long hair and he.
He's got a kind of a quite Hitler, he's their hair. He's got a kind of a hither. He's got a kind of a thi Hitler Hitler, he's quite Hitler, he's quite Hitler, he's quite Hitler, he's quite Hitler, he's quite, he's quite, he's quite th thi, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's he's thi, he's thi, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's got he's got, he's got, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's got a th thi. He's got a th th thiii. He's got a he's got a thi. He's in the color of hair, not his sort of attitude.
Yeah, yeah, not as in, not as in Hitler, he was very unfair.
Well, yeah, you're a while. I felt that there was a thing with Hitler, he's quite unfair,
wasn't it? Very unfair, man. The fora. Didn't have a good sense of fair play, did it?
Yeah, unfair, yeah. Because you're passport. So you go soon have you had it back yet? So I just got the text because it's been a tense week. I better check
my fucking passports actually. Rose had to go and do the the seven-day
passport where you go to the place in Victoria. She went last week and you meant
to get it back in seven days and then she gets there goes in does the passport and then we haven't filled in the in in in in in in in in in in in in in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to the the toeckeckeckeckeckeckeckeckles. toeckles. to be. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I I I I I I I's. I's. I's. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the toe. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. filled in the address of the work of
the referee you know the person who's seen the photo and they're like you
can't do this so the referee is supposed to have filled it in yeah so you
can't even quickly fill it in because it's that's against the rules even
though you know where they live and then they're like yeah get the address so we have to get the dress and they were like like the the the the the they were like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.eaughea they.ea they.ea they.ea.ea.ea.ea. they. they. they. the the the the the the the address. So we had to get the dress. And they were like, you've got to fill it in a separate section.
And they were like, we'll just see whether they accept that.
Oh, no.
Who are they?
You're at the passable place.
Who are they?
Who are they?
I know they?
You know, they.
They know, they're in the same. Who are they? Fine they now, you know they. So, oh man, it was stressful.
In your head you're going, well this isn't going to work, this isn't going to happen.
I've literally just got a text three minutes ago from the passport people saying you should receive your new passport within a few working days.
We'll send your supporting documents separately. Thank God for that. It's gone through.
Yeah, but what I'd say about that is you's't got a fixed date. I was expecting it's ready now.
Yeah, no, no, a few working days, but they said they get into us within seven days.
Yeah, no, no, they said they get it to us within seven days.
they're going on holiday within seven days.
No, we're going on holiday in 12 days. fine yeah unless it gets lost in the post so that was very stressful is it very stressful I'm if I'm on to say I'm still stressed I'm not I'm not happy
till it's in my hand are you not well you know what if they spell something wrong
but I don't give a shit well no they won't accept it then well they won't accept it
well they will accept it on the plane and then you got no stressed until I've seen that with all the right names on it. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, fine.
Because also, you know, she hasn't changed her name yet as she rose, so that's gonna be
complicated, it would be harder.
Right, let's not, come on now, come on now.
If you're doing it comes checking in, you could say, oh look, that's what?
But, well, who's Hanson? Well, they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. the late 90s. I'm sure you'll be fine but you know maybe you'll just more
relaxed to me who knows?
You had a small chill than me it's cool, cool. How are you feeling about Golden
Holiday? I'm excited. Because this is your first holiday with two kids and your boys, what,
nine months? No, he's, he will turn one on holiday.
Turn one, is you walk in?
He's standing.
So he's got this weird thing, Rob.
So you know most kids stand by holding on to something?
He just kind of rises up from a sitting position.
Like his core must be out of this world.
Believeable core on the boy.
Yeah, lived but strong core. He just rises up to standing. That on cross-legged?
Yeah, from cross-legged up to standing and then back down.
That is good.
So what have you got for the pool,
because it's a summer holiday kind of like beachy holiday?
What have you got for the two kids swimming wise?
Because that's where they're going to be spending lessons?
Have you got those puddle jumper things thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks.
been doing swimming lessons. Have you got those puddle jumper things? What a puddle jumper things? That thing I've told you about you need to get them for a
holiday job. I don't listen to you. I know but they're better in armbands. Get
some puddle jumpers. Honestly mate because what if you don't, she'll be all right in
the small pool but when she was going to the deep pool Okay, right? So you need to get them, yeah, I'll find a link and I'll send it to her.
And then also on top of that,
you wanna get, have you got an inflatable for the baby?
No, I haven't got anything, Rob, I haven't done any prep.
Oh, fucking amateurs.
Okay, you need to get he's just going to go mad by the pool but if you leave him the pool you can bob around with him in the pool. Okay see and they're
send me that as well. Okay okay it's absolutely joking it won't your PA
baby float. Could you also sort out my passport that was the other thing with
the passport Rob yeah yeah go on well what would you mean the other thing
you know you look at the professions you look at the professions you the the the the the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you the professions you look at the professions you look the professions you look the professions you look the professions you look the professions you look the professions you look the the at the professions, yeah, people that can sign your passport, you're like,
I haven't got any friends that have got normal jobs.
None of my friends.
No, none of my friends are in recognizable jobs.
None of them count.
They all work in stupid jobs in East London that don't count.
You can't go, oh, they're a graphic, do you know graphic designer?
That's not an option apparently.
Or like, TV producer, these aren't options.
So who did you find to do it?
Oh, we've got a friend who's a midwife, sorted.
Right, okay, fair enough.
But you're just like, fuck, I've just realized all of my friends have got jobs that the government doesn't respect.
Is there a kids club? Is their daughter going to a kids club? Is your daughter going to go kids club? What's your fault on the kids club? Yeah, I don't know how I... So when we went on holiday when she was one,
yeah, she went to the kids club a lot and it didn't make any difference because she didn't really
realize, you know, that was fine. But I think I'd feel a bit guilty now just sending her to the kids.
Because it's not the difference though because it's a balance isn't it because if she doesn't she doesn't got a brother so young still she's
not really got anyone else to play with so she might get a bit bored around the pool with you as
much as you can play over you're not another kid so she can make friends around the pool or she
might enjoy the kids club because there be loads of I am not the person that's organised this holiday and I don't have many details at my fingertips as to how it's going to go.
You don't know anything, do you?
I don't know anything at all.
I don't know anything at all.
It's really weird though what I find is how on holiday certain things do just fall into sort of slight gender roles, just naturally, you know, like old, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you don't th. that, you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.. th. You don't th. You don't th. You don't tho, you don't tho, you don't tho, you don't tho. the. the. the. thean, you don't thooooooo. tho. You don't tho, you don't to is, but dad's always ended up in the pool with the kids. But I'm a very weak swimmer, Rob. I'm a very weak swimmer.
Well, these, don't right, these armbands got up to 30 kilograms. You'll be all right.
I'll be all right.
I haven't thought about stuff like this.
I'm gonna fair for you. But yeah, so, but if you get thought about stuff like this. As a man who's just come back off holiday with children in swimming pools, just saying.
Yeah. And I was away with a nine month old and a four year old and a seven year old.
Fair enough. Just saying.
At one point on that holiday I was in the pool with all of them and there was no other adults.
Where were the other adults? Well, Lou, so basically have a couple, Lou and Jess went to Target shopping and then
they left me and Steve with all four kids, which I still to this day I think that was unacceptable
and the nine month old should have gone shopping, just easy could have been pushed around in
the buggy of the shops.
Do you know what I mean?
But then, and then, so we was at the pool and toy, and then Steve had to go a to go toilet, and he went off. So at one point I had a nine month old and a little floaty thing and a seven year old and a four year old, all in the pool.
My eyes have never moved so fast in my life.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
And the problem is now my six year old doesn't want to swim
without these puddle jumpers. And she sort of can't quiet. tooom. thoom. thuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. thu. the too. too. too. too. to too. too. too. to the to their. their. their. the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tall. toda. toda. today. tall. today. tall. tall. today. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to puddle drummers but it is less safe. Yeah yeah so you are on it the whole time but yeah that was
quite stressful but you know I'm just saying armbands, armbands and floats are your
friend. It'll be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine we've had enough on. And what
else happened? sorush I'll cut you off my son he got a tonitis tonsilitis that's been fun bank holiday. that's that's that's that's that You do go to hospital a lot with kids, didn't you? Not you, in general,
one does. I still can't believe my daughter swallowed a penny and I was metal detecting
her for three weeks. It's a tough old life, Rob. We got 10 days of antibiotics.
Ten days, four times a day, and it tastes awful. Oh, that, why do that??? that, why that, why that, why that, why that, why that, why that, why that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to go go to go go to go to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the to the the the the too, the the the the the the the thea. the too. too. too. too, too, too, too four times a day, and it tastes awful.
Oh, that, why do that? Just stick some sugar in it.
Melt down a Harrybo, come on.
I know.
And every time we have it, Rose will turn to me and go, I don't know what it tasks
so bad.
And I need, I just want to go, mate, we've had this discussion. We know. We've discussed that this is a bad idea but we're stuck in it
now. Bringing it up won't change it. He hates it. He's learned to spit it out, right? He spat it
out into his own eye. How? He was lying back. He spanned it out like a fountain and it came back down
into his own eye. At least it got in his blood system. He's got it in him somehow.
Honestly, mate, it's so stressful. I don't know why babies forgive you when you do this
kind of stuff. If someone did that to me once I would never trust them again. We're doing
to him four times a day. Within 20 seconds he likes us again. You're like me?
It's like Stockholm syndrome. It's so weird! But is he feeling better now?
Yeah, but you're still on the antibiotics.
That's the worst bit.
When he's fine, but you're still on the fucking antibiotics course.
Must finish the full course.
I never understand that.
I never, I don't, I don't know.
You must have more drugs.
Why would you need to, why would you need to, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, that, that, that, that, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the, but, but, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, why do you need to, someone probably knows it's probably quite a boring and complex answer but just do what the doctor says.
I'm sure they've thought it through. Um, have my birthday. Oh yes, a happy birthday.
We couldn't make it. Thank you. Did you cancel it in the end? Yeah. 39. Oh, the big one next year. You got to do, what you're doing for your fault with? Yeah. I've got to do to have checked and it is on Easter Saturday.
That could be a big weekend.
It couldn't have fallen better in that sense, could it?
You've got us a great birthday Easter time, I think.
Because it's a four-day weekend and no one really gives a shit about Easter.
Rob. Did you? What happened?
Absolutely nailed it. I did an Easter egg hunt. And I drew the clues.
So each egg would then be accompanied by a drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the drawing the clues. So each egg would then be accompanied by a drawing of somewhere else in the house.
And she loved it. It was magical, Rob. She thought the Easter Bunny had done the drawings.
Because normally an Easter egg hunt is just like all bets are off, hope for the best off you go, but you were directing her. It was, it was a drawing of the shower. There's a drawing of a rocking horse. There's a drawing of a pizza oven. Not, that was my worst drawing. So you, when she
found one, with that egg was a picture of the next one. Yeah, absolutely. Some of the
parency I've ever done. Really? And did you put much effort into the drawing? Was it just a quick sort of drawings? Don't see some of the drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th drawings? th. I I th drawings? th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So. So. So, th. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi.. She said, not my words, the words of my daughter,
that the Easter Bunny is good at drawing.
What do you think about that?
I think that's a compliment, but she said
and the Easter Bunny's good at drawing for a rabbit.
Wow.
Have a look at the drawings, Rob.
Yeah, they arethat. I like the door. I like the R. What's the R? That's like a kind of a light-up R-ornament
that Rose has. Right. The name's Rose. Yeah, and the peat. I think you've got a little bit in trouble with a pizza. The peat-oveen. I was out of my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the pizza oven, Rob. Yeah, that's a lot of angles and what's it called me, like the perspective.
I've forgotten the chimney and I've forgotten two of the legs.
Yeah, yeah, you forgot that, but also it doesn't work as sort of a structure, does it?
Because it's sort of like, there's no bottom of the pizza oven.
Yeah, I've really fucked up the pizza oven, yeah. It looks a bit th g th g th g th g th g th. He got his long black ears and then a baseball cup on him.
We'll pop it on the Instagram, but I was quite pleased to that.
Yeah, we'll pop that.
I think that's a really good idea actually.
And then we had a roast, and I'm going to say it, I think roasts are overrated.
Really?
The amount of effort, before and after, for a meal that lasts about 20 minutes, it's just unbelievable. Do what th, you th, you th, you th, you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thate is thate is thateateate. I thateatea. I thateateate. I theateate. I theateatea. I that's that's that's that's that's just unbelievable. No, I see I did a roast when I came back from holiday with jet lag and it's amazing.
No. I love it. It's about, it's about, it's about, you can't, that's why you do a roast on
a Sunday, you've got the time. You can't rush it.
You haven't got the time. You got two kids. Yeah, but one person gets to do the roast, the other person's two-on-one with the kids. I think you look after your kids too much.
Just let him get on with it.
He's one!
Stick him in a fucking bouncer.
He's obsessed with going up the stairs.
It's so...
All he wants to do is go up the stairs.
You just have to follow him, like kind of with you, like poised, the stied, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to fall down the stairs. Just shut the stair gate? Yeah well of course I haven't got around to getting a stair gate up yet Rob. He's one! You haven't
thought it was five or something, isn't she? Yeah, well we took them down.
Why? Because she didn't need the stair gate as I'm about three years ago so
so we took them down? Can I say something here? the bracket down as well or just the whole lot? I don't know. Rose's dad did it.
Is it a plastic or wooden thing on the wall
that you could slot another stair gate in?
No, no, no.
So that's come off as well.
It's stored.
Yeah.
That's madness.
You always going to want to be more kids.
I get, take the gate off. does make it look ugly. When your house is so well designed like yours and like interior design it.
The stair gate stands out like a saw.
It does.
And I said, Rose has gone, dad, get rid of that.
It's ugly.
But now you're in a position of chasing the baby up the stairs.
And I think, can't I say what I think?
You're too scared to tell Rose you need the stairgate. That's fine, then, I was wrong. You just haven't got round to ringing her dad. But you can't ring a man to put a stairgate on, he removed.
And I imagine put on in the first place.
And he put on originally.
Yeah, of course he put her on originally.
Yeah, of course he put on originally.
We got a stairgates the stair gates are still stop the dog going upstairs. What, you've got a stair gate for a dog? No, the stairgates are the kids,
but it's now for the dog because it stops a dog
I didn't get a stairgate for the dog.
I didn't get a stairgate for the dog.
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bounce does he like the bouncer no he's way beyond the bouncer just gave it
away absolute feeling of glory gave away the bouncer and he's just not into
bouncing Rob he wants to explore he's at an exploring stage right okay that is annoying
isn't it yeah
yeah what you nicknacks getting on with him sort
of exploring? My knickknacks are fine. There's no, yeah, yeah, because he's not tall
enough for there to be nicknack issues yet. Right, or maybe that they're just so used to the knick knick knick knacks that they just they just don't just don't just, they just, they just, they just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, their, they're just, they're just, their, they're just, their, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, their their their thin, their thin, their thin, their thin, their thin, their their thin, the will come back and bite me on the ass in two years time.
Does your daughter play with the knickmacks now?
Is not sort of like tea set stuff?
Stuff or because it's quite pretty stuff.
No she's got her own stuff.
She's got her own stuff.
She's got her own.
My kids want to. It. It. the. the. the. the. the. the. It. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fine. And then so what taught me for it you wake up and Rose isn't working or anything she's off all day. No to just sort of it. And Rob, good
news. A little treat for ourselves, child care on the birthday so we can go out
with just our daughter for lunch. Right okay so you don't have to
the baby a lunch so you can just have a to rush back for naps and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, she gets ill on the morning so he's back in the game.
Okay, so yeah, okay, so you've got a babysit for the day so you could go out for the day,
but yeah, okay fair enough. So you got the baby with you now, fair enough. That should be fine
though really, you know, it might be not as relaxing as it would have been but... It wasn't as as relaxing as I'd imagined the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day to I'd to I'd to I'd to I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the day. the day. the day. the day. the day the day so. the day so. the day the day so. the day the day so. the day to to to to to to to to to you going for lunch? We went to an Italian restaurant, which was very pleasant.
Did you get any presents?
What presents did you get?
What presents did I get?
Yeah.
Do you know what?
I got that old Plymouth Argyle shirt that I asked for the train?
Nice.
Which I was very pleased with. Have you ever got the Pullman carriage, Rob? No, what's the Pullman Carrage? Like a train?
Yeah, so we're going to Cornwall for a couple of days, just for a little break.
Oh, that's nice.
So we've got that, so that's good, so that's good.
Oh, the Pullman train.
Yeah, it's like fine, isn't it, wrong? And you stay over, or is it just literally just a journey down and nice dinner? It's not like overnight train?
We're going down, we're going to get an Airbnb for a couple of days.
Oh, yeah, okay, so you just go down, it takes a few hours, but oh, you get like,
oh, it does look fancy, look at the white jackets on it. This looks nice and you realize that all the other fucking smug pricks. Oh look at us on a nice train. That's my people. That's my people. Quite difficult also on the
Pullman carriage because there's lovely views out the window but everyone's got such a stiff
neck none of them can look out the window. Yeah of course. What are you going to wear? They're all wearing suits? No, they're all wearing suits. No, they're going. No. They're all. They're all. Yeah. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. Yeah. their. their. their. their. Yeah. their. th. th. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's just for the photo shoot. Mate, it looks like going to the Ritz. I think there might be a dress code.
No, there's not a dress code. It's a train. It's a train. There's a fancy train. Oh, please
avoid casual clothing including denim trainers, collarless t-shirts and shorts. We reserve
we reserve the right that we reserve.
Does it say trainers?
Oh yeah, you're going to have your shoes on.
I'm not going to wear shoes.
Oh no.
It is six-foam clothes for the train.
We reserve the right to ask guests not soon be a tie to change.
What? Otherwise, we may refuse booking.
This is unacceptable. Well jackets and tires are not essential, smart attire and even formal dress is wild.
That is not what? That is true mate. I didn't feel... Do you know what I'll have to do? I'll just
Google image myself and show them. They'll understand who I am. They'll understand. So what you're gonna wear?
I wear a shirt, Cheenos and shoes. Right. Honestly some people have gone in black tie tire.. I tie. I tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie. I tie tie tie tie tie. G tie. G tie. G tie. G tie. G tie. G tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. Good tie. G tie. G tie. G tie. I tie. I tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie ties ties ties are ties are ties ties are ties ties ties ties ties ties ties ties ties are ties are ties are understand. So what are you going to wear? I wear a shirt, chee-nose and shoes.
Right, honestly, some people have gone in black tie and like cocktail dresses, ballroom,
but that's not, I don't think, I think they're over-dressed for that, but I'd say the
normal outfit is a suit and shirt and shirt, like a wedding outfit. Yeah, I'm not gonna wear a suit. My mom's always said this. You always do look a bit scruffy anyway,
so I think you might need a suit.
I think you might need a suit to do a lot
of the heavy lifting for you.
I'm not breaking any rules there.
It says jackets aren't required.
No jacket.
You're breaking the spirit of the rules, Josh, yeah? This is not why I'm glad we had this discussion though, Rob.
I took my tie off for nine minutes, Josh.
Yeah, well, yeah, so what I would say is you definitely don't need to go in like black tie,
but I think if you turned up in a t-shirt, jeans and trainers, it would be a problem. Yes. Yes, yes, okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to to to to to to to to the. to the. the. the. the. the. the.. The people on this train look mental mate. I'll tell you all about it. I'll tell you all about it. It looks lovely though but I think
you just go a bit smarter and you'll feel better. Yeah. Yeah so that was a present and you went for lunch.
Very nice lunch. Rose's mum didn't come for the lunch because we had fitted it was it the today. Rose fitted it in while while while while while while while while the in the in th in th in th in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoes thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoes loo-I thoes looes looes looes looes looes looes th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi. thou'a. thou'a'a'a'a'a'n'a'a'n'n'n'n' a rushed lunch in that sense. It was a very
nice day actually. I had a very pleasant day because what I realized Rob is it's not about
me anymore my birthday. We then went, my daughter met up with a couple of mates and we had
a drink with their parents. And I said this is my friend Matt Ford. He said what you're up to for your birthday. I was like, oh just you know chilling out seeing seeing some
of my daughter's friends and their parents and he was like oh sorry about
that mate and I thought oh my god this feels like a totally normal thing to do
for me but for him who hasn't got kids it's insane that someone would do
that on their birthday. I still think it's a bit insane.
It's not. Why'd you have to go meet out of your kids friends? Because they're my friends. And in the evening, are they? I went for
dinner with other friends. Are they actually your friends? They are, yeah.
If you didn't have kids in the same nursery. Rob, let me put it this way.
Go on. Do you know how much they're my friends? How much? They've got the kind of jobs that means they can't sign a passport form. Okay, fair enough. That's nice then. And then in the evening, went for dinner,
I thought it was just going to be with Rose, but she'd surprised me by
inviting some other friends. A surprise she'd slightly ruined by earlier in the week
putting on a WhatsApp group that I'm in and she'd forgotten I was in.
Yeah, not the best surprise that is it? No, but you know, it was a surprise as to who had turned up.
But still know, that's nice.
And then she said, so there was only a couple of them there when we turned up, there was more
to come, and she care about birthdays anymore for adults.
But I'm glad you had a nice time.
Oh, and do you know what, afterwards we went to the bar after the, after the curry.
They had Street Fighter 2 as an arcade machine in this bar.
Oh, that's fun!
Yeah.
I loaded three quid into it.
It ate the money, Rob. And then I realized that there was a sign attached to it that someone had folded back saying that it didn't work. And that is how my birthday ended.
Oh, that's a shame, isn't it? Yeah, it was a bit sad. Three quid down, but another year gone,
big one for the 40th? I don't want to be 40. What are you going to do just take your kid to play with more friends? What do you do on your birthday? Rob? Rob? Rob? then, Rob? then, Rob? th, Rob? th, Rob? th, Rob? th. th. th. th, Rob, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. And, th. And, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's thate. Oh, tho.enerife last year and Lou, I think she said that she'd
got some birthday stuff but forgot to pack it. So on my birthday, Lou and the girls went
to the shop near the hotel and bought a kinderbuenot cakey thing and gave that to me.
What a life. What a life? That was my birthday! What life? It's mad! It's mad, isn't it? It's mad! It's mad! It's! It, isn't, isn't, isn't. It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It's that! It, it. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it, it, it, it, it. It, it. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It, thi. It, thi. It's to me. What a life. That was my birthday and then he went out to
dinner with the kids. It is what it is these days isn't it Rob? That's it. Oh she
let me go and watch the football on my own. That's the saddest thing anyone's
ever said. Poor Lou. She has the kids birthdays in December, then it's Christmas and then
it's New Year and then also we were going away straight after Christmas.
So there's not much time for her to do anything and I think over the years people just fall
out of love.
Do you know I've got this theory about Rose's birthdays in early March and it means that Valentine's Day,
her birthday and mother's day are in very quick succession.
You have a Valentine's Day, he's got to go when you're married.
Do you think? Is that it?
Just a card and flowers, absolute tops.
Anyone doing anything more on that is fucking someone at work.
Ha ha ha ha! Always fault that.
Card and flowers, see you later. Birthday, Day, card and flowers, see you later.
Birthday, you take it up a level.
Yeah, that's my opinion.
But yeah, no, my birthday, I've never had a good birthday.
I used to go like ring up pubs and the pubs would be shut.
Oh my God, that's so sad.
Because it's, everyone's skin.
We had another disaster as well. Go on. We had friends around and we decided to have
our first ever child staying over, sleepover. Oh, okay. Yes, so I did a lot of sleepovers when I was a kid, but I didn't like it. I got upset. Yeah. They've not really done, they've done sleepovers at Nans, but we've not really done any sleepovers with friends or had kids over for a sleepover.
Talk me for it, Josh.
So I thought this is going to be a big deal.
This is going to, this it got to about 530 and we were like why not why not?
So was it just the kid or the kids and the parents? The kid and the parents?
Right okay. Two kids and the parents. Right so yeah I think I think we've done that
before we never just had the kid. No so we had two kids in the parents so yeah
and at 530 Rose and the parents had been drinking. I hadn't been drinking that day because I was like I'm not didn't fancy it and I was like well that means I can just
drive them around to get their stuff yeah and then come back and then I was
like and then I'm actually gonna have a drink because this is exciting.
Yeah that's fun. Yeah so drove round got their stuff. Everyone's excited yeah put the babies to bed that's the easy th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the thoes. thoes. thr-I's thoes. th. th. th. I's th. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I I I I I th. I th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. Re. Re. Re. Re. R. R. R. the. R. R. the. the. the. the. the. the. thro. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to bed, that's fine. That's the easy bit. And then you've got a three-year-old and a four-year-old who want to sleep in the same room.
Yep. This is where it gets very tricky indeed.
I'd say, Rob, I mean this. It is actively impossible to get a three-year-old and a four-year-old to go sleep in the same room, who've never slept in a room, the room, the room, the room, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thre, thre, thre, thro, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, who, who, to sleep, to sleep, who, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, the same, their, their, their, th, th. thre, thre, their, their, thre, threa, threa, threa, threa, threa, threa, to threa, to to to to to to to to to together? Well, my daughter was in her bed and then we made up a bed on the floor for her friend and he was on the floor,
she was in her bed and then she wanted to be in that bed and then he wanted to be in her bed, and
then it just all went wrong. And then he wanted milk. Because he wanted milk. Because he wanted milk. Because he wanted milk the thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their bed. their bed. their bed. their bed. their their their their their their their their their their to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. thea. thea. thea. thea. their their their their their their their their their time is this? So you're trying to do bedtime?
About 8 p.m. by this point.
I'm on my first glass of wine.
I'm thinking this is exciting.
Yeah.
We've ordered, we've ordered a takeaway, Rob.
It's great.
He wanted milk.
We didn't have milk. toobe the took, their, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooe. toe. toe. toe. the the toe. the toe... toe. toe. toe... toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. He wanted the real stuff. Then my daughter's like, I want milk as well. She hasn't drunk milk since she was one and a half
and threw it up and didn't want it ever again.
It's like an absolute disaster.
Yeah, okay, so now you've got to walk out and get milk.
Yeah, they won't go to sleep.
We're like, stay silent, go to sleep in the same room, eventually we have to make the decision that he can't sleep
in the same room, he has to sleep in the same room as his parents, then my daughter decides
she doesn't want to sleep in her room on her own, so she is now on our bedroom floor.
So now there's no one sleeping in her bedroom.
Yeah, okay. Four children in the house, none of them are in the child's bedroom. Right, okay, so you've got four kids in
the house? Yeah, so they've got a baby who's in his own nursery. You've got their
baby who's in my office and then we've got their son who's in with them and our
daughter who's in our own bedroom even though she never sleeps in our
bedroom for one night only she's sleeping in our bedroom on the floor. Oh no and then so basically instead of them waking up in that room and playing for it together
so you can lie in they're just waking everyone up immediately. It took till about 9 p.m. to get them to sleep.
See what I think you've done wrong there is what I would say when you've got friends over I would just let them play and stay up as long as they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to th. try try. try took to try. took they're just just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they long as they want until they literally pass out, then I just put them in a bed. Yeah, well that's what we should have done. Because then you that
way, you get an evening. That's what we normally do as well. That's what we normally do as well.
That's what we normally do in situations where she's got friends over. We'll go just go as late as we want to be as we want to their tho. But. But. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, their, their, but, but, their, their, their, their, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, they. they. And, they, they, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th that, th. th. th. That's, that, that's,'m like, this is gonna be a fun evening. Come downstairs, the other three who've been drinking all day
and I'm like, bloody Al, I'm exhausted now.
We'll just eat and go to bed, shall we?
I'm like, what?
What's the point of you staying?
My evening's just started.
Oh, serves you right at it?
Oh, so if you want to provide questions for Rose and Lou, they will be answering your
questions in the ParentingHell book, which is out now to pre-order, all you need to do is
email the questions to ParentingHell Book at Bonnier Books.co.Uk withnier is B.O.N.N. I.R. Books.co.
With your questions to Rosenlou and also to our parents about what we were like as children.
And they will respond to them in the book.
At last, their silence is over.
Yeah.
The link is below in the show description.
Talking of parents.
I've got some boomer stories here. Oh, yes, that's the best the best the best the best the best the best the best. thaaaue. tha. tha. tha. tha. thoomk. thoomk. thoomk. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoom. thoom. thoqqq. tho. thoqqqqq. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to. to. to. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. I. B. I. I's. B. B. I's. I's. B. I's. I's. B. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to. to. of parents. I've got some boomer stories here. Oh yes, that's the best bit. One morning my mom asked me to come into her bedroom before school
I sat on the bed and she said,
Michael, I've got something important to discuss with you.
Your teachers and I have had a meeting and have decided it's best
that you are held back a year. Instead of moving up to year seven,
it would be best for your development if you repeat, year six. What? That's a tough one as well because you're not going to, you're still at primary school right in year. I was immediately shocked and in tears, crying over my breakfast,
I remember thinking, I didn't think I was that bad and I always try my best. These thoughts
interrupted by my mom asking, what day is it? I said Monday. She said but April 1st. I said Oh my God. that is brutal. I said March. that's. that. that. that. that is that. that. that is that is that. that is that is that. that is that is that. that is that. that is the that is the the the the the that is the that th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi thi. th. th. the th. the th. the thi the the thi the thi. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeea. theeeat. the. thee. the. the. thi. the. th. th. the first to which with a huge smile and delighted in
saying April first. That is brutal absolutely horrible and Michael says it's
not just how long she left it but I think it's mainly that there were no
there was no purpose for it no motivation reason or less and it was just for a laugh I'm a
teacher now so it turned out okay in the end. Also my mom here you
have the classic caveat. Also my mom is lovely and very supportive. Yeah yeah yeah yeah
calls Michael yeah keep her on side. This was a classic boomer move Michael. Oh poor sod
that's horrible. Right do another couple of boomers and then we'll do small business
shout-outs. Hi guys I'm only 23 so my dad doesn't count as a boomer parent and he's an
incredible dad but he did do one thing that he stands by that 100%
scarred me. When I was 12 we live for a brief period in a tiny village in the
bush of Alaska. Oh my God I didn't know Alaska had a bush. I thought it was just all cold. I can't say I recommended I recommend the experience I the experience I the experience I recommend I the experience I recommend I the experience I the experience I the experience I the experience I the experience I the experience I the experience I the experience I the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I'm a to have a th. I'm a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a to. I'm a to. I'm a to to th. I'm a th. I'm a t. I'm a t. I'm a t. te. te. te. te. tttttttttto. ttttto. ttttto. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I can't say I recommended the experience.
We live right on the Yukon and in the beginning of winter my dad decided to go out ice
fishing.
He had me, his 12-year-old daughter, youngest of the five, sit on the shore and watch
attentively so I could go to get help in case he fell through.
Because that was a realistic possibility. As a parent of three now, I don't think I have they they they they they they they they have have have have they have have they have have have have thage thage thage thage think think think think think think that that that that that, I have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. the to the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the to to to the to to to the to to to. As a parent of three now, I don't think I could ever put my kiddos in a position where
they may have to watch me in case I'd die, but you know, he's to their own.
He asked my husband this winter to go ice fishing with him, which I responded, no,
not worth it. Anyway, so thanks being vulnerable for the sake of our entertainment. It means a lot. Hope you're having a lovely day day th. This th. This th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. that th. that that th. that th. th. tho that tho. that tho' that was tho' that that tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho- tho---------a tho--a th. tho-a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. that that that that-a-a-s that-a-s. that-a-s'-s'-s'-s'-a'-s'-a'-s'-a'er's that'er's that that that that that that that thanks being vulnerable for the sake of our entertainment. It means a lot. Hope you're having a lovely day. This is Elizabeth Dykstra, Bellevue N.E.
Is that New England?
Yeah.
Bluntie, New England.
Come on, all right.
Yeah.
That is meant.
Just sitting there, like, on tender hooks.
What if he dies now?
Oh my God. Niz. Hi gents, new mom to a now 10 month old and you have both kept me sane
during the early months especially being roughly the same timeline as Josh
thank you. I was born in and spent my early years in a town in Belgium which had an
eight-lane ring road going around it. Like most parents when my brother and I
were arguing in the car my mom always threats to pull over and leave us on the side of the road. We usually took to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to the to to the the to their to to their to to their their told told told told to to to told. to told. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their their. their. their. their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I. I. I'm try. I'm te. I'm te. I. I'm te. I. try. te. I. te. te. te. te. I. I'm try. I'm try. I'm threatened to pull over and leave us on the side of the road. We usually took very little notice of this empty threat until one day
we were being particularly shouty and our mom pulled to the side of the eight-lane ring road,
swiftly open the car door, lifted us out onto the grassy edge of the road.
She got back and then drove off, leaving her five and seven-year-old fearing for their lives! Oh my word! Here we go, here comes a caveat. She obviously only went round the block and was back in less than a
minute but safe to say we definitely argued less in the car after that, Hannah.
Oh my God, that's not, that's not okay, Hannah. We're great parents.
You know what we're great, I'm great, you're great, all our listeners are great. These absolute boomer savages with the parenting. Just leaving a kid on the side of the road. But she was back so soon.
Oh, because I'm not that. Right. Oh, small business. Oh, I've got one anyway I can do.
Because there's a problem with that link. I've got one here that we can do.
Yeah. I posted up me trying to do the hair of my daughter's hair when Lou was in the hospital and I'm not very good at that.
Basically, it's a small business shout out to braid maidens and it's braid-a-i-d underscore
maidens M-a-i-n-s on Insta or you can email braid maidens at Gmail.com for more information.
And it's basically she teaches hair braiding for incompetent parents.
Normally, dads, when it comes to hair braiding.
And it was on the BBC News page.
Basically, she runs classes so you can learn how to braid your kid's hair properly.
You can, yeah, braid maidens.
So, yeah, she runs classes.
Annis War began running in her Platin classes last year in St. Albans,
so it's based in St. Albans. And father to four daughters with long hair, John Hardin said he found learning
to plat hair brilliantly surprising. I don't want my daughter's growing up in a world where
they have an old style view that one gender does one thing and another does the other, he said. Meanwhile, Dad ti said that ti ti. thedangu, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, the the. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th thee. thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, their. their, their, their their thee, their. thee, the the the themselves to get their plaques right. So yes that's braid maidens if you
want to learn how to plat hair especially in St. Albans. That's good is it?
There we go. Really good. That's it. That's it. We'll see we've got an interview on Friday and we'll be back on Tuesday with, do you know what will be nice? Up updates from our actual week rather than those weeks past.
Yes, what's been happening?
Fresh, fresh off the tongue, fresh out the brain.
But yeah, thanks for bearing with us whilst we had a little break.
I think it's better for us as parents and as podcasters.
Oh, I feel refreshed.
Bye.
Goodbye.