Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP36: Joe Wilkinson

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant actor, writer, podcaster and comedian - Joe Wilkinson. Make sure you check out Joe's brilliant podcast... 'Chatabix' which he co-hosts with another former guest of this show, David Earl. And their World Cup song 'Cup for the cupboard' Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,
Starting point is 00:00:36 tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York You you.c.c.a. This episode is brought to you by Nespraso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprasso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Parenting Hell's the best of her now, Becky's home with it, I'm showing us how. Oh, it's the can we'll go home now, and then off menu. Stux-fax.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Parents and hell is going on tour, writing a book and lots of things more. still sex yeah do you yeah do want to say hi to robin josh hi to robbing josh hi hopp hi josh thank you for letting us join in your podcast yeah do you want to say hi to rob and josh thank you for letting us join in your podcast Oh letting us join in your podcast. Oh, wow. That was incredible. Absolutely incredible. And here you go, that's Sarah who's 27.
Starting point is 00:02:13 That's amazing. Here's a song promoting the best podcast around, sung by my six-year-old, Sophia. Wow. The little help from four-year-old brother, Mattio, or Mateo. Mateo did an intro for your last year, so Sophia wanted to have a crack it. My contribution was the lyrics and bashing some notes out on the piano. Oh come on, that's very humble.
Starting point is 00:02:34 That's very humble. Thanks for your work. Just writing the song they sang to, basically. The six-year-old couldn't write that. He's very much the bloke in the cause, isn't he, Dan Wielden there. Dan Wilden, absolutely. I enjoyed that. That was great intro, on it. Yeah, that was very good, wasn't it? I love that.
Starting point is 00:02:50 We should have that, we should have that as one of our songs that's played in while people are filing in during our live tour. have the kid that can't even say your name like worried now. Yeah no no no no no the high achievers don't we're not we're not normally looking for high achievers no it's nice once in a while it's nice down again to have so I've found a functional family that really talented right down the country's not completely fucked well they just sat their happy families playing their fucking songs and singing while I'm at home with my kid's snotting on me. But yeah it's great that you did it thanks. Really appreciate it. Thank you that was really
Starting point is 00:03:28 good but that's not what we're about. Oh how are you Josh? So I am oh I did my quiz oh yes you did the third teach the parent teacher associating quiz yes because you message me you was a message in myself I was shitting myself I was so nervous that I had to th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to the to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. I th. I th. I thi. I was the. I te. te. te. te. te. te. te. teat. te. theeat. the. that's. I was. I was. I it. I was shitting myself. You really was. Josh. I was so nervous that I had to go for a nervous shit. You know that when you're that nervous? Well, I've realized I've been so busy recently I've been having nervous shit for two weeks. Have you? Because then, well, like leading up to me, I feel my special I feel my special in Self-end. Yeah. And I had realized the day after I did the day after the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I the day after I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that when. that that that that when that when that when that when. that when. that when when when when when when when that when when that when that when when when that when when that when that when when that when that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that when. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the day after I did the special that I'd been shitting with and have normal shits now. Oh God, yeah, well that's, that's a good, that's an actual reason, whereas I was like thinking this quiz, oh my God, I'd written the whole quiz, suddenly I was in a room full of strangers, I got there, they're all on their tables, and I was terrified, Rob. Yeah, but what did you message me? You said, you message me at one point, I was about to go on stage, no offence, a real gig. Not questions in a pub. No, you said to me.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I cannot wait to discuss how nervous I am on the pod. Honestly, mate, I've got the shit. Then I would reply a couple bits and then we said, oh you'll be all you're right to be nervous because you aren't really Josh would have to tell you........ I. I. I. I. the the the the the their, I. I. their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. they. they. th. because you aren't really Josh would have come off to tell anymore, you're all your daughter's father. Oh my God, yeah. Oh my God, yeah. And then you replied, 10 minutes after I said that, Rob, I'm stood in the corner alone, everyone else is chatting. Yeah, I was like the, I was like the, you know and then everyone else is at their tables. Oh, what was I'm going to do? Did you go, did you circulate before?
Starting point is 00:05:07 Yeah, network? What? Like a fucking Vicar? Just say hi, every, like you'd go, all right. Yeah, I'm a bit. Hi, I'm Josh. Yeah, I'm just. Yeah, I, yeah, yeah, and you know, I
Starting point is 00:05:28 use my phone to like... Did you got any friends? Well, I've got mates? I've got mates. No, I'm not saying you haven't got mates. I've got mates. No, but I'm not saying you've got mates. No, but I'm not you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've tha. You've tha' tha' thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that their their their that thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. Yeah, thi. I toda. I've got today. I've got got ta. today. ta. today. I've got today. today today tha. I've got tha. I've got the. I'm not implying you haven't got mates. I know you've got mates. Okay you message Tom Crane every other day. Every day. But yeah, but I know you've got friends but how did you make new friends there? Yeah, big time. How's your week been? What you know? I might as well. No, no, no, no. I did, it went well. The quiz went well. Yeah, well done. Big hit and PTA love you? They said could you do it what what you what you what you what you. What what you you. What you to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it. to do it. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to me to me to to to me. to to to to to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the to me. the tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. the to. tom. to. to. I. to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I, no. I did, it went well. The quiz went well, Rob. The quiz went well. Yeah, well done, big hit and PTA love you. They said, could you do it termly? Feels a bit much to me. I didn't, didn't I tell you this? What happened?
Starting point is 00:06:11 I've been realed in, Rob? They're hard to be twice a year. We both know it's going to be twice a year. Yeah. Somewhere in that way you never have to organize a comedy show. Oh that's coming. That's coming. That's coming. Do you reckon? Yeah you free on November the 27th. Apps? No, neither of them. Okay. Which year doesn't matter? I'm busy. Fair enough. I'm very busy. Do you know I'm busy being being being a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's never never. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. that's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. you know I'm busy being a class rep Josh. Oh yeah, okay. How's that going? Well, um, well I feel like somebody went over my head. Oh, hmm. Was it there? So we were talking about the homework. I had to email about a homework and said we don't can they put it in the book because we find not. Not everyone's got a printer. I told you about. Yeah, they're. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. sort of put it online. And then we've got, hi everyone, quick update. She said it to me, though, the teacher, which is the right chain of communication. And Steve learned anything from Sweller Braverman
Starting point is 00:07:12 that we have to communicate in a correct way. She said, please give you let the parents know that due to some parent feedback, I'm now going to put the homework at the toppapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapopop to to to to to to to to to the website thing. I was like well where's this feedback not come to me? Has it? This should be funneled through me I should be the rep. Oh my God. So there's people go in over my head. Yeah snitches get stitches. Anyway so it's gonna be at the bottom of the thing because basically as you were scrolling it get lost so they put it at the top of the page of the website the top of the the the the the the of of the of the the of of the the the the of of the the the website the website the website the website the website so the website so the website so the website so the website so the website so the the the the the their to to to the the website the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I I I their. I I I I their. I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the website. the website. the website. the website. the website. the website. the website. the website. the website. the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too. they. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. I'm. I'm. I should. I'm. I should. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm., also for the parents that have asked for extra homework, I'm going to add on an extra document or task. I know. What the fuck is going on there?
Starting point is 00:07:50 Another what kind of mad fucker is asking for extra homework? Extra homework? I know. That is. We've got enough. There's six. Come on. But she said, well basically what she said is she's going to put an extra thing on there that's not compulsory, but if you want to do it of your child, you can do it. I don't think you want your child to be too intelligent, is my opinion on the matter. If we've learned anything from Elon Musk, intelligence can be a happy but. I don't look at Elon Musk and look at a man that's happy with life. And I think there's a right amount of intelligence if you know too much, life's too hard.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Exactly. Do you know what she should have said? For those that have asked for extra homework, shove it up your fucking ass. How do you the no one have gone? I tell you, why don't you, fuck off. And stop ruining the weekends, the weekend, thuke, think, think, think, thin, thin, thin, to thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their what what what what what what their what, their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, tho, to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooo. thoooooo. tho. tho, tho,that that so that that that happened but it's fine but um bit disappointed in my fellow parents there for that's a shame behind my back yes oh I laughed out loud in my sleep next to Lou oh yeah and I remember doing it and it was I can't remember it was but I think about basically I was walking along and someone pulled up in a van and it was a comedian but it was sort of like sort of you and it was sort of like all comedians all my comedians I knew it wasn't like
Starting point is 00:09:07 composite comedian yeah composite comedian and then they said something and I can't remember what it was but it was really funny and I like cracked me up and I laughed in my seat like like ha ha like that kind of laugh like that like proper laugh and Lou and then they and Lou went to me like that to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th was th was th was th was th was they. the the th was th was th was th was th was liked was liked was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I the the th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. I was th. I was th. I was thin thin thin th. th. I was liked. th. th. th. thin th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the. nudged me and like that in the morning. She went, you laughed in your sleep last night. I went, oh, was it that funny? Was it quite sweet? She went, I hated it. Amazing. I went why she was fucking weird.
Starting point is 00:09:33 It was just weird. It was just weird. I thought, I'd rather listen to someone laughed and snore, wouldn't you? Yeah, that is weird. that, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? that, why? that, why? that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, was, was, was, was, was that, was that, was, was that, was, was, was that, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, that, that, that, was. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, was. that, was. that, was, was. that, was, was, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. that, was. reaction to that? Jealousy. Yeah, he's strange, isn't it? Very strange. And the other thing what's happened is... So it's odd socks day at the school. Yeah, we had odd socks day. But you've got to put them over the tights,
Starting point is 00:09:53 so no, the shoes don't fit. Oh, there's a problem. And my daughter's obsessed you know the bump bit is outwards rather than inwards. Right yeah yeah yeah like that the the tickly the tickly so why do they still make socks with that because I don't like that as an adult why I just sort of put up with it because there's not another person that will turn them inside out for me. Other things lasagna and she didn't eat any of it because he had too much taste. Oh no, oh no. So that was that that was good. Went on a play date I had this moment Rob. So with the kids or just you? Yeah with my daughter so it was a play date at her one of her new friends house yeah yeah yeah it was just me and her friends's mom was there with the two, her friend's two siblings.
Starting point is 00:10:45 And when I got to the door, it was 2 p.m. on a Saturday, and I kind of got out the car and I thought, what the fuck have I done here? I've basically invited myself to sit in a stranger's kitchen for three hours. With the stranger, I've never ate before. That's the hardest bit. We've the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. threate. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bit. We've done that before and they've come over and then you go, oh that's great, but then as soon as the kids run off and play,
Starting point is 00:11:09 because they know each other from school. Yeah, you're like, what? This is a bizarre thing that I've just done. Organized this. I got what, then,. I had a nice afternoon. But it does feel like a weird little date, doesn't it? But it is weird like that, yeah. Talking of dating, Rob, my daughter and one of the kids at school, yeah?
Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah? They've got a crush on each other, and it's weird. She's always talking about him. And we've been told he's got a crush on her. She's always bringing him into conversation and talking about things he does and he's like negging her, like he runs really fast. Oh really? Yeah, and you're like, they're five. We've got a bit of my daughters,
Starting point is 00:11:52 my youngest, like, a boy-school. And they always like, like, like, their boy, thanks, and like, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, like, like, and he, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, and, and, like, and, like, like, like, like, and, like, like, like, and, and, and, and, like, and, like, and, like, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th go to different primary schools. Yeah. I say do you like like your friend? Is he your boyfriend? And she actually gets like angry and runs off so I don't say it to anymore but they could get a bit. It's weird isn't it when it happens? It is weird. Yeah oh God I'm not ready for it anyway. I don't really need to worry now. Right. This week we are joined by one of my favorite comedians Joe Wilkinson. Oh he's the best the best the best th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. thi. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. He's the best. He's brilliant, and he. He's incredible. He's so good. Also I didn't know that he had a stepson until recently. No, no exactly. I didn't think he had any children. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's a great one. I love Joe Wilkinson. He's absolutely brilliant. He's absolutely brilliant. I love Joe Wil that, I need to belch.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Well, I feel really feel like I need to belch. Burp if you need to, Joe. No, I'm not burping on your podcast. You're in the bloody, you're one of the biggest podcasts in the country. You deserve better. I'll do it off Mike. It's about parenting so we're experts in burping. You're right? I just broke the radiator. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:13:07 You're right. Just keep my radio. Sorry. You're all right, Joe. Yeah, sorry, I need to belch and I broke my... Are you eating that? Really need to belch? Floping, hell!
Starting point is 00:13:19 I've never had this before. What have you eaten this morning? I've had a sausage. One sausage and a cold sausage that was left over from yesterday. Right, I can't get, I genuinely can't go on until I've burped. This is mad. God, it feels like a dangerous burp, like... Why don't you get some rednees? You're right. I think I've got heart burn and I need to burp. You're having a heart, you've got pins and needles in your arm?
Starting point is 00:13:51 Don't, I'm at the age where that is a worry. No, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine. Think of the numbers, Josh, if he up the charts, wouldn't there? Not an immediate your pair of bastards. Anyway, sorry, that's done. God, that really scared me a second, that didn't? You're right? Yeah, just, I felt like, I've developed heartburn, I think in the last few weeks, and Joe Lysett sent me a really long message telling me how to sort it was I think it's one of the sweetest messages I've ever had. He gave me a blow by blow how to how to control my heartburn. Well you need to get that sorted. Anyway, Joe, welcome to the show.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Thank you. It's full welcome. Parenting in hell and you so you haven't got you got a stepson is that right? Yes. Yes. I've got a step to step granddaughter. Ooh, Granddad Joe. Step Grandad, that. Step Grandad, Joe, yes. And how old is your stepson? He's 36. Wow. And step granddaughter is eight. So this is my question to you, Joe.
Starting point is 00:15:01 You are someone who I'd say is quite hot. They overthink they overthink everything they do. Yeah, like quite self-critical, quite self-critical. Yeah, is that fair? I think that's the fairest thing you've ever said and you've said some fair things in your time. So I can't imagine you turning off your self-criticism and just playing. I do, weirdly. Do you? Is that when you finally let loose? Yeah, the curtains are drawn, obviously.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Yeah, it's weird, yeah. I've never really thought about it, but yeah, it's just, it's, it's, um... Is it the real me? I wonder. Is it let lose a part of you? Well, it's, it's, it's, you sort of playing games and stuff and you, it's fun, isn't it? And you go, no, you can't, and you can't, and you can't worry who's watching, because you can't stop the plane and going, hold on, I'm riddled with insecurities and where do they come from? Good question. I guess I'm very thin arms and I was incredibly self-conscious about those up until the age of, I guess even now,
Starting point is 00:16:23 okay, she's gone. She's gone over to granny pee. That's a good thing with playing with kids though, isn't it? Because you can just let loose and be silly and no one could just think you're playing with a kid. Fantastic, yeah. You sort of want to be able to do that with your mate still even though you're like, you're like older. I don't want to do that with my mates, Rob, I'm going to have the relationship I have with my friends, Aziz. I do not want to play a game where we have to first one to the dishwasher. No, I don't want to play that with Simon and team. David, I've got his idea and it's just an idea. I'd want you to do that. I would make sure that never hit YouTube, never.
Starting point is 00:17:10 That's a very good question. I'd never thought about that. Yeah, completely let loose. It is me at my freest, probably. Yeah, probably, yeah. Fuck that's really, left me cold. Wow, I feel sick. Do you think of the games or does your... Does she think of it like, and then you play along?
Starting point is 00:17:35 You just sort of a person to be marched around? Yeah, I am marched around. My other half is sort of ink, like adores Petra and I'm a plaything. Petr's my other half. Yeah Petra's my other half, her grandma. She adores her like, you know, not even close to, you know, I'm like second fiddle beyond that obviously, but she knows that she has complete and utter control over me. You know, like it's, like she knows, she sensed weakness very early on and she, she, she abuses that weakness to, to the full extent. So, I've been on people on panel shows
Starting point is 00:18:20 that were like that. Yeah. I think it's quite easy to talk over Joe. I think it's quite easy to talk over Joe. I think it's quite easy to talk over Joe. So if Joe goes in for a bit, that's when you should, and this is people's agents, if you really want to get some stuff in, best advice I can give you. It's when they turn to Joe, get in because he will crumble. the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time, tasks like Miller time.
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Starting point is 00:19:36 Visit MX. Yeah, so yeah, I'm weak basically. So I'm running about basically and going, But at 8, they do get a bit clever at eight. They go beyond being little kids to quite manipulative in sort of a sweet way. And you found yourself trying to sort of win a winner over. I feel like I feel like the relationship is going to is fixed now. Like I'm sort of, I've won her over but I'm also like have no control of anything that happens in my
Starting point is 00:20:06 does she respect you if you say don't do something I can't imagine you tell it off a kid well is that if if if pet is in sight yeah you know to the to theyre I try I'm gonna need you to stop that I to try I'm gonna need you to stop that yeah because I have no I'm that I to that yeah th I the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that I that I that I that I that I th th th I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi to to thi thi to thi to to to thi to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi the thi the that I'm going to need you to stop that. That's each that. Yeah, because I have no authority. I've never, I've never, I've no, have you ever had like someone work for you like, have you had a job? Because you, have you both just done comedy really? No, no, no, I've done jobs, but I've always been. You've been the underling? I've been the underling. I've never gotten to a position.. I. I. I. I. I've a position. I've the position. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that. Yeah. Yeah. I have that. I have that. I have that. I have that. I have that. I have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that I've th th to the the the the to have to have to to have to have to to have to to that. I've that I've that I've that I've that I've've done jobs, but I've always been. You've been the underling. I've been the underling. I've never got to a position of,
Starting point is 00:20:48 I've never been in a position of power. No, I haven't. And I wonder what that's like, because I wonder if it's something that you can learn if you've sort of, in your own business or something. But I wonder if I could ever be taken seriously. Like, I didn't genuinely wonder if like I'd, I'd, if I ran like a proper company, I wonder if like the factory staff would still just walk past me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just go on. Yeah, I can, I think I can have you fired. Yeah, go on then. But I really want you to like me so I think I'll just lose money this year I'll just lose money it's fine because we have to tour
Starting point is 00:21:30 managers when you have a tour manager that sort of someone working for you stash with you but I find that quite awkward because like I said never been like that where you sort of tell someone what to do but you are going I want to do this, like, and you're sort of, I'm sort of paying you to manage my tour, and on this tour I want to leave tomorrow at 8 a.m. However, that involves you having to get up and drive me at 8 a.m. Yeah, that's true. Do you want to do that or not, but actually I need you to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do that because because because because because because because because because because I to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do that because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because I that, I that, I that, I that because I that, I that, I that because I that because I need that because I need that because I need that because I need that because I need to do to be in to be like agents and stuff like that, they, because we're, because I think I can speak for all three of us, we're cowards, basically.
Starting point is 00:22:11 And I imagine you've occasionally gone, I really need to leave at 830 for that, so I'll just quickly talk to Jason, whoever your agent is and go, can you quickly send and just say I'll need to be gone by 830? Because you don't want the proper. Yeah, you don't want to do it direct. No, it's pathetic isn't it? And anyone who's straightforward about things like that, you respect, don't you? If you, if someone comes you and go, Rob, I'm going to need you their
Starting point is 00:22:39 8.30, sorry, because we're going to be, we need to be on the road by 9. You don't go, who are you? No, fair enough, I've got all the information I need and I will be there at 830. Whereas me and you too go, oh, ugh. Fuck you now, I can't ask someone to speak there at 8. That means they'll have to get up at 8. I can't be the person who's made them get up at 8, fuck off, it's your tour. And they'll have no problem with getting up at 8. Yeah, it's all in their own heads, I think. Pathetic, of course it is, pathetic, I'm include you too, you pathetic boss. The pathetic little thoughts. See, Joe, this is the real you. Not the you that's going to, no, it feels good to be back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back. the the, the, to be the, to be. to be. the to be. the to be, to be, the to be, to be, th going to the running to the dish. No God, no it feels good to be back.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Thanks guys, I needed that. Of the little games you play, what's probably the best and worst ones? Are there games that you go, actually I don't mind this game's quite a fun game or are they one sweet? Hide and seek fucking. Oh, it starts off off as a good idea. You know you think, oh yeah, that we're fucking hell. Hide and Seeks are prick isn't it really? It's like it's one time is fun. You go, but it's just that thing with kids you can't just go, honestly, like once, twice is how many times we should do this. Yeah. And then everyone enjoys it. And does it have to end up with some degree of a sulk and having to get Petra?
Starting point is 00:24:09 The salt from the child? One of us will be sulking. But both of us will need Petra. It's just how often it's wanted to hide and seek is the thing, isn't it? It's just too, it's the amount. It's like I'm looking forward to the World Cup, but if it was every day, you know what I mean? Like. It loses a bit of fun. Yeah, like it's great. Like it's amazing. The giddiness I get around the World Cup is the fact it's, oh my God, it's another, it's here after four years, can you believe it?
Starting point is 00:24:47 And sort of like, the reality of the World Cup is there's a loads of games you're not interested in, you know, there's sort of, it might be a human price issues. Yeah, exactly. God, you don't go on about that role, don't you? Change the record, mate. Yeah, there is that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thory is is thory the thory the the the the record mate. Yeah there is that thawing issue. But what's the song about? Do you cover that in the song? Basically the second verse that they won't put out is really, yeah I think when we write it, we hadn't flagged in our mind that this is the worst World Cup ever to be Ever to be played and we really shouldn't be watching and shouldn't be involved in any way But apart from that please do listen to cup in the cupboard by David Earl featuring lyrics from our god
Starting point is 00:25:40 It sounds so tent. I love so good. I genuinely like the song I genuinely liked you're doing a world cup. Yeah, I? I genuinely like? I, I, I, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world their the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be That's good through the process because I genuinely like the song. I genuinely like, yeah, I genuinely like that you're doing a World Cup song. Right. I'm glad you talked. It's you and David Earl from Chattabit. Yeah, so we like, David thinks and we, if anyone, like, if anyone, like, we're hoping someone goes back and has a listen on our behalf because we can't be asked.
Starting point is 00:26:07 But David thinks that I was talking about World Cup songs and suggested a World Cup song, but I don't remember saying that at all on Chattanoffix, yeah. And then he wrote one and sort of sent over the lyrics for me to sing my one line. But this is a bit that always, he sort he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he wrote, he wrote, he wrote, he wrote, he wrote, he wrote, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, my one line but this is the bit that always he sort of gave he did a version for me to sort of he says it wasn't for me a guide ver. Which is not what you want you know you want to fly you want to bring your own heat to the song but I had a had a basically a handbook that this is how to do it yeah so I did my one line and then it sort of you then the you want you want you want you want you want you want you want you want you want th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi thi the. their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their the. their he he he he he this is how to do it. Yeah, so I did my one line and then it sort of, then we did it and then and then we were like, oh we should try and promote it so we said look let's try and promote it and then a week later we were
Starting point is 00:26:57 suddenly like, oh sure I can be asked to promote this. But things have been booked in. Are you suggesting that you're actually, this is, it was a bad decision and you're here against your will now? Oh, not you guys. Sock I am. You know, things like Socra am. Did you do socray I am? No, doing it tomorrow. Oh, Joe. I can't tell you how far away it is.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Talk about getting a car at 8 a.m. You'll be dreaming of getting a car at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning, mate. Well, it's one of those, like, if you listen to Chattavicks, we have a thing where we have a moment where we're really excited about Doc Martin or something, you know, and so we'll have like two the like really into Doc Martin and then we're sort of go let's try and get less like, like we were talking about like there was a chance David could be in Doc Martin because he lives down that way and like we were speaking to those of people in Doc Martin and they were like, oh we could get you like a couple of lines in Doc Martin and we were like, well we could get you like a couple of lines in Doc Martin and we were like, look no really. So we were, but obviously things like that take a little while to happen.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Yes. So you don't like we don't like if we're talking about today, it's not, we're not going to be on Doc Martin tomorrow, but like it'll take like two or three months, but we've then moved to do thi th three th three th three th three th three th three th three th three th three th three th the the the the or the or the or the or the or the or the or the or the or the or the or the the the the or thi the the the the the to the the to the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the says, so do you want to be a fisherman? Once your listener's relief, because if you're on the third month of discussing Doc Martin, you know. Joe, can I ask your question about Sokraim? Are you going to take the free kicks and the penalties at the end of the game? Well yeah, apparently, yeah. Oh my God, theyme won. Oh my God, amazing.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Honestly, Rob, right, I'm always fascinated. Well, you know when you meet someone, you've never played football with them. Have you ever played the game? Will they be any good or shit? You know, like you can never tell. Yeah. I'd have put a couple of quid on you being fucking pony.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Like, like, and I was like, you can obviously play, because you, you had, like you had form when you were hitting those, pinging those free kicks. Yeah, it didn't look like you'd fluked a kick. No, that's what I mean. Because there was one, I don't know the lad who, the, almost. No, in the top corner but he just didn't have your form I was like they've got him on a good day I thought Beckett could do that again he could do that again that's not all enough I was I was never sort of fit enough to
Starting point is 00:29:36 sort of go any sort of decent level in football you were a box to box where you're on no I just couldn't I didn't have an engine I'm not a great runner that That's what let me down. Yeah, I was all right as shooting and passing and stuff. Is it mad to say swap Rob for Madison? Because there's no bigger stage than the World Cup and if Rob raises his game like he that much for a clip on YouTube. Imagine how fucking good he's going to be. I'm just saying don't maybe just hold him off for like the last 10 minutes of if we're set the semi if we get to the semis and we get a free kick outside outside the club
Starting point is 00:30:21 every squad had to get a member of the public that's never played professionally. Imagine imagine if I was on the bench, I'll take all the pressure off of Harry Maguire, Southgate Kane, because it would just be like me on the sidelines warming up. But if you're slightly better than McGuire. I'm not, no end it in. I don't know. I think you could take a better free kick than Maguire. I do. On my life. Well, you know what was quite weird about the cock? Because people weren't a bit mad for it on Instagram? Was it felt a bit like the opposite of being cancelled because people found out something
Starting point is 00:30:55 that was positive online. And then other people in the comments are playing. That is not what social media is for. I know. And other people in the comments are going, like Tony Hendrix who used to play on Tuesday was going, yeah I can confirm, he used to play with Rob and I've seen him score a few beauties. I was like, this is the opposite of being cancelled. There's people just swapping stories of positive things I've done. I turned the radio on recently and I can't remember what comedian were talking about, you know the Tuesday football thing that the comedians used to do it, and they were talking about who, who they were like, who's decent? Who, which comedians are decent? I was like, I haven't played on the
Starting point is 00:31:34 Tuesday for like years, but a bit of me went, I was a, I was driving and I like a pet pet was there whatever and I was like, I don't want to say they th... th. th., th. they they they they they they they th. And I they were they were they were they were they were they were th. And I they were like, I th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm a that I'm like, I'm a th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th th th th th thi. th was like I don't want to say but I'm really hoping they say me I was like waiting to find out I don't know if you've won the one a bafter or something this is a lot more important so Joe are you gonna do the shooting practice and is David because David Earl always backs himself as a great footballer I know I know he bigs it up a lot so he's got lots of... I know. He's got a long way to fall, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:32:08 Yeah. Yeah, apparently we're doing the thing where... It's Sean Dice's on. And it's like, if they get the question right, he's called, yeah. Pro am, yeah. So we just stand there and if they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the question wrong one of us he takes off I don't like that bouncing off the net thing so this is what you've got to do they do questions and if the person gets it right the professional gets to do it so soon dash and if they
Starting point is 00:32:31 get it wrong the amateur you and in David Earl's hate turn so one's like penalty one's a free kick one's a crossbar and crossbar and what you're gonna wear a pair of shoes you can't they'll the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the they the do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they wear-wise? Because the problem is you don't look too keen and wear astroturfs, but if you wear a pair of shoes you can't kick a ball with. I'm not wearing astroters, because that is like, that is setting up that I've been, oh, fucking hell. I'm just going to say. I cannot wait to watch this to my morning. What I'm saying so excited so, Joe, if if if if if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you thi, if you thi, if you thi, if you're thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm not thi, I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not thi, I'm not thi. I'm not thi. I'm not theat theat theat theat the theat the the theat the the the the thi. I grip is that you are just going to slip over and you can't kick a ballpark me in a parent. I know you can't go into it with the gear on. Do you know me? I know but I'm just but you're going to
Starting point is 00:33:12 need a type of footwear that you could use isn't it AstroTuff I agree it's too much but you're'm going to wear ever in my life, Rob. I think what I might do is get my trainers and carve out the soul with it, leave an inch gaunt, a gaunt, a gaunt around it, then put like by AstroTurf, you know, like the bottom of that and made it a high height that I've got a... So look, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, like, like, like, like, the old you, the old you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, what, what th, what are, what th, th, th, what are, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th, what are th, what are th, what are th, what are the, what are the are the are the are theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, think, thin, I the high I've got a so I'm just wearing a pair of mad yeah old shit on top of astrotterms yeah yeah and so he go god he did that he did those that he did that in loafers well that's the thing if you do wear a loafer you can't kick a ball probably
Starting point is 00:33:56 with a loa no one can it don't matter where you are I wear a comfy a comfy a comfy pump, comfy pump, like a converse that that'll work. Yeah, conversely, you might sleep. Yeah, I was talking to Tom Davis about it and he goes, you got any game son, you got any game? I know I've got any game. Don't say that I don't deal with the pressure to me. Jesus swept. Pressures on David. Yeah but I've played down my football and you're performing the song on Socrayan? No, bloody hellfire, you're mental. The lyrics of in the cupboard sort of sums you and David up a little bit where like even if we won the World Cup you're going to put it in a cupboard. Yeah, not a cabinet. David did David said what I look like, we had some notes from people saying the stuff about like stuff like that and David just went, um, um, I can't be asked. Like, I can't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like stuff like that and David just went, um, I can't be asked to change it.
Starting point is 00:34:50 It was just like, he was like, oh we're, no we could and someone said, oh why don't you, rather than at the end just like mention some of the players so they might hear it and they were like, yeah, we recorded it now. I'm going to perform it live, do you think? No. No, no, what? If you've actually listened to what I've added to that song, there's a guy Dan, David wrote it and did the music and then Dan, this guy Dan, Eyes on Legs, he produced it. I was, I had one line that David basically told me how to do anyway and I'm
Starting point is 00:35:34 really embarrassed because I went a bit, I can't even talk about it, I was, because I thought, I've got to add, you know, we were talking earlier about, sort of coming out out of Michelle a bit here for this. Yeah, so I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort I was sort sort sort sort sort I was sort sort sort sort sort sort I was sort sort th. I'm sort th. I'm sort sort sort th. I'm sort, I'm sort th. I'm th. I'm kind, I'm kind, I'm kind, I'm kind, I'm kind, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. th. It's tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm the. about sort of coming out your shell. I thought I have to come out Michelle a bit here for this. Yeah, yeah. So I sort of like going, come in the cut. And I was like, oh you wonk it. And there's raw footage of it somewhere which calls me. Your body language at this moment is absolutely. You're coiling.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Yeah, composing it's scattered. Oh horrible. So yeah, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, but you, you, th. th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, t. I'm, toda. I'm, toda. today, today, I'm, I'm shed structure and it's scattered. Oh, horrible. So yeah, but you know like, you know like you have to commit sometimes to stuff like, like with acting and stuff. It's fucking, you have to go, right, I can't do this at 40%. Do you ever do anything with your granddaughter where you feel embarrassed like that? No, no. No, no, it's all thing. Singing, dancing. I think I show off. Do you? Do you show off? Yeah, look at Rob. Like, okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, I fully commit to ballet and older that. Yeah, Petcher has to look away. It's not the man I met 17 years ago. What's he doing? God, he's really into that. So when you first met then, was her son quite an adult then when you first met? Yeah, he was like 1819. No, he's a really nice lad. There was none of any of that sort of weird,
Starting point is 00:37:01 weirdness that I imagine happens quite a lot. Yeah, well, I suppose when it's when this this this this is is is is is is this is the grown the grown he's the grown he's he's he's their he's he's he's he's their he's imagine happens quite a lot. Yeah, well I suppose when this grown up like he's sort of like his stepdad, you're more sort of his mom's new partner than I suppose stepdad. Yeah, he's an adult by then, you know. Yeah, it's so, yeah, it's exactly. It's sort of like, it's like a weird to, like officially I'm his stepdad by law or whatever, but not like as in, um, as you're the the the the the the th the the thian, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th.. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, dinner. Yeah, what I mean? Yeah, keep your own fucking dinner, you're 36. Let me show you how to show you, come on.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Leave it out, mate. I've done it. Yeah, I think that's absolutely none of my business. I'll be honest with you. Absolutely none of my business. You're a grown man, you've got a house. But yeah, no, he's a really nice lad, so he's always been very, very kind to me. Is he a fan of your comedy, Joe?
Starting point is 00:37:50 Who's never said? I'm sure Petra openly says that to you. Petra openly says, and this is a lot, she goes to her favorite comedian is Paul McCaffrey. She openly says that to you. Well, she absolutely loves Paul McCartrey. She openly says that to you. Yeah, well she absolutely loves Paul McCaffery. He's brilliant. He is really good.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I'm not, I'm aware of that, right? He's really good. Proper solid jokes. You know what, you know what's going on? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm not a great believer in solid that'll work comedy. If you saw me two nights ago, you know for a fact.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I get that, Rose is obsessed with, she just thinks Ellis, James is the funniest person she knows. Oh, he is funny. He is funny. He is good, and yeah. I was a little bit obsessed with that kind of style of sort of like into his football sort of 90 stuff but funny with it is a really impression isn't it? Can you imagine that Josh? I can't. I used to go and watch Ellis' Edinburgh shows. They always, they were like my one, the one of the ones I would have to go and say. And I just remember like he did a thing where he was like just asking people where they lived or like where they're near. It wasn't it, you know the way he doesn't ask where you live it would be where is your nearest big town or something. You know
Starting point is 00:39:15 it's some odd way of asking where you live. And then he would, he just had a fact about that town that was just bizarre. Everyone, you know, places I'd never the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their they'd their their their their their their they'd they'd their their their their their they'd their they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they were where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where their they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their their their their their their to have their their their their their their they'd their. they'd their their their their their their th. th. th. that town that was just bizarre. Everyone, you know, places I'd never heard of, Nuntown or something, you know, and it'd be like, your church has got the largest roof span per capita of people, you know, and you'd be like, and they'd go, yeah, I've heard that. And they would be like, it was like 20 minutes of that.
Starting point is 00:39:41 And it was good, no, no, no, no, it never it never it never it never it never it. like 20 minutes of that. And who was good was it? No no no it never worked. That was always a dip at the start and then it would really kick on from there. No it's brilliant. I was obsessed with how his shows they were really fun. As your steps I'd ever come to see you do a gig. He came to see did Nevermind the Buzzcocks but he really likes Noel Fielding or one of the, no really likes his music. I can't remember who the music. It it it the the the the the the the the the the their. It was their. It was their. It was their. It was their. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the, the the the the the th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was the th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was the Buzzcocks, but he really likes Nol Fielding or one of the, no, really likes his music. I can't remember who was on, but there was a musician. It wasn't for me. Yeah, yeah. There was a musician on there. But that's sort of normal, I think. If you have a half, it's like, or your family is like really into your comedy, that'd be really weird, wouldn't it? Yeah. It'd be like, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. It was th. It was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was they was they was they was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was the. It was the. It was the. It was th. It was they know what a tip you are you know what I mean it'd be like God I've really my favorite comedian is is you what? Yeah even if you're the funniest person in the world I don't think your partner will ever pick you over another comedian no no it's normal you got you
Starting point is 00:40:40 got you got to love Ellis or McCaffery that would be a really unbalanced relationship, wouldn't it? But when you're having caviar every day, sometimes you want a whopper. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Does Petra listen to Chatterbix? She does, yeah, but she does the, um, she's involved in it basically. She does all the, um, yeah, she likes canal Thursdays. thirseys come out and, uh, I and I think I can say I think it's really funny because it's really the guests who make it really funny. We just had Alex Lowe on and he basically did Barry from Watford and I've always been a Barry from Watford. Do you
Starting point is 00:41:57 know Barry from Watford? Yeah you still think up a lot of the radio shows didn't yeah? Yeah Ian Lee stuff yeah. And so we just got to speak to Barry from Watford on a canal boat for Barry from the th for Barry from the th for th for the th. th. th. Do th. Do th. Do the th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do is is th. Do is thi's is thi's the's th is th is th is th is th. It's is really th. It's is th. It's is really th. It's is really th. It's is really the the the th. It's is really the th. It's is the th. It's is the the the the th. I I's is really, the the the the the the the th. I's is really, I's is really, the the th. I's th. I's thi's really, thi's really really, thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really thi's really, thi's really, they? Yeah, Ian Lee's stuff, yeah. And so we just got to speak to Barry from Watford on a canal boat for half an hour. So I was like in heaven and it's so fun. His character, and so like we've had Seb and Al, Alastaird and Ackrilli, all these amazing people just fuck about with a half an hour. And I'm like, okay, when I'm doing that I go, okay, this is the best job in the world. Listening to like really funny people, because me and David just prod them, you know, and go, you know, now talk about this or whatever. And it's, yeah, so the Alex Low one came out to day.
Starting point is 00:42:35 And it's so funny, just him, just being Barry from what for, because it, and then Greg McHugh came on and did Gary Tank Commander. Oh yeah, it's great. Yeah, but like, like, and some people's characters where they're just, doesn't matter what they say, it's just their stupid voice or the, you know, the way, their angle. It's just, yeah, so that was like, oh, so she loves Canal Thursdays, and I'm with her. Go listen to Chattahbits. Well, you, you do so you you you you you do so so, you do so so, you do so so, you do so so, you do so so, you do so so, you do so so, you do so that's that's that's that's that's just that's just so that's just so that's just so that's just so that's just so the that's so that's just so that's just so that's just so that's just so that's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's their their. Yeah, it's their. Yeah, it's their. Yeah, it's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. their. the the their. their. th. th. th. th. thea. thea. th. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th to Canal Thursdays. Go listen to Chattanooga Bits. Well you do so many, is well I can't believe how many episodes you put out. Don't you record every morning? Yeah, this series is 123. No, 127. Do you do five a week? Yeah. Oh my God. It's an absolute drain. How did you decide to do a daily breakfast podcast? Well David had the idea like like because we were talking about always wanting, we've always talked, because me and David have been writing together for like 10 about 10 years. And so you end up talking about everything, no. We're always talking about like kind of Chris Miles and those, you know
Starting point is 00:43:45 those, you know those breakfast. He's your big comedy hero isn't he Chris Morse? That's why you belched at the start. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so anyway, David was talking about like being a breakfast DJ and he sort of said, oh, well let's do a breakfast show thing which sort of was funny and then we sort of realized that breakfast shows are every day and and and and and th and th and th and th and th. and th. and th. and th. and the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's like, th. He's like, the the the the they's like, they they they is they's they's they's they's they's they's they, he's they, he's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's theeeeeeeeee. He's they's their their their their their their their th was funny and then and then we sort of realized that breakfast shows are every day and we were like well I was trying to do it every day but it started off like let's just recall for 20 minutes but like you just get keep going don't you do I mean you just get banging on about any old bollocks and and so yeah and then and then we were talking about how when we've all done mundane shitty jobs I don't know about you but I th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus th thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the the things things things things things things things things things the the the the the the the the you but I used to have like things that I relied on to keep you sane. Yeah, David like I used to listen to this thing called
Starting point is 00:44:28 the 99P challenge. Right. It was like Simon Pegg Amanda and Nucci and they basically it was like a really funny sort of panel show thing and there was like I remember finding about a hundred of those and so I was like I had a month or two where I was like I can listen to that. And then so we kind of we were fantasizing about being one of those basically but then I didn't really realize the drain it would be on our lives. But I feel that comes across in the episode. Well yeah my favorite ones are when you get obsessed with the chart positions but you've got to number one in the charts recently. Yeah I wonder what yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th. I was, I was, th. th. I was, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, tho, that, we that, we kind of tho, we kind tho, we kind tho, we kind, we kind, we kind, we kind, we tho, we tho, we tho, we tho, we th. We th. We th. We th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were thi, we were kind thi, we were kind that, we were kind of that, we were kind of that, that, that, we were kind of that, we were kind that, we were kind that, we were kind that, we were kind that, we were kind th number one in the charts recently. Yeah we we knocked um well it's because David came on here I think that's what that's what takes that's what takes a sting out of that we basically co-tell you though
Starting point is 00:45:18 that's the main thing that's why we're not publicly I will be talking to Michael in a minute and go you gotta fucking cut that bit otherwise I'll never ever you'll never work in that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th the th th th the th th the the th th th the th the the th you're the the the the the the the the the their th thi the their their their their their their their the we're th we're their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the thee the the the the the the the the the the the the the talking to Michael in a minute and going, you've got to fucking cut that bit out. Otherwise, I'll never, ever, you'll never work in this podcast. But yeah, we basically, look, you guys are the big boys, right? You're the big boys. Well, no, no, no, no, I think the news ones have come in there, haven't they? Yeah, but look at the news voice. I'm doing common. I don't look at the whole chart, mate. I look at the comedy. If I look at the whole chart, I can't be bothered to do that much scrolling down. But you got Alastair Campbell on Chatterbix because he's complained about Chatterbix going to number one. He was a really good stuff. He's got a problem.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Who isn't? Who isn't? Well, not to the degree about him. Because what about when he came in your show and he was speaking to you about you running the marathon? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, he beat me. He knocked my time, didn't the time?
Starting point is 00:46:22 Yeah. He said, what time did you do it in? And he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he beat he beat he beat he. He they. He they. He beat he. He beat he. He beat. He beat. He beat. He beat. He beat. He. He. He. He beat. He beat. He beat. He. He beat. He. He. He. He beat. He. He beat. He went. He. He toed. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He to. He to. He to. He to. He to. He to. He to. He to. He. He time did you do it in? And then you told him he's and he told you. Yeah, he beat me about about 50 minutes, yeah. And he asked you age. Yeah, yeah, he pointed out he was like 16 years older than me or whatever. Yeah, I was like, all right, let's just get you back up with that chart. How many illegal wars have you been involved in Joe? Coe, tough of me ed. Now you, now you, time for a pivot. But you, come on, let's get back to the big boy shit.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Yeah. You were, you were the ones to be. Well, do you know what I see the iTunes chart now as, Joe? Do you remember the Moscow Olympics when America didn't go there? It's a bit like... Yeah, nice, nice. Nice, man, you didn't do their fake up, you're talking that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. God.
Starting point is 00:47:15 God, that's true? You go, we're 24th. Well, we're not really, are we, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're 25, we're we, we're 25th. Because those bastards aren't... I think it's because we're all sort of peers and all sort of started out together. And normally in comedy we're used to seeing people and it's obvious what people are doing because they're all an arena or a theater or a thing or stuff. Yeah. You know, you gave me one of the, one bit, bit of advice I always carry with me when I first was was was was was was coming, th. You gave me one of the one bit of advice I always carry with me when I first was coming up as a comedian
Starting point is 00:47:48 We did a gig together and I had to do 20 minutes and I wasn't really ready for it and you just said I've always seen 20 minutes of 16 That's a great bit of advice. Oh, it goes further. This is this is out Alastair Green and Nice. This is our advice to Green and Nye's, this is our advice to everyone. 20s are 16, 15's a 12, 10s and 8, 5's 3. Go and enjoy yourself. So when you first start, going from 5 to 10 minutes is so stressed to it. You don't believe, you can't believe now we're sort of more accomplished, you can just go out and sort of blag it a bit longer, yeah. But at that time, everything was so like that, well that's 17 seconds out.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I can't make that up or shorter. Where am I going to pull another two minutes out of my ass man? Because I remember the laughing horse. You ever laughing horse? The heats were five, the final was seven. Okay, I've got three months to try and come up with two minutes. Are you mad? How long did it do that? Well my dad said that to me once. I had to get like an hour ready and I had like 20 minutes, so I needed 40 minutes and I had four months and she was like, well it's only 10 minutes a month. Yeah it's only 10 minutes in it today. Yeah just fuck off. I'm just fuck off Rob's done. You know any idea how much shit I've got a pan through. I never knew how long bits were so when I was in the clubs people go like
Starting point is 00:49:23 when do you want a light which is the you know the club I'll put a light up to show that you know some people would have a light the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tap. the of. It's of. It's of. It's the the the the t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. it. it. it. it. t. t. t. t. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm. I'm just. It's. I's. It's. It's. It's. I's. when I was in the clubs people go like, when do you want a light which is the you know the club owner put a light up to show that you know some people would have a light at the end of their set some would be like three minutes from the end and they'll go yeah give me a light is 17 so that end bit's the end bits I'm like comedy and then later on you go, I'm talking a load of old tip, weren't they? Exactly, yes or bonnets. I guess someone go, could I get a light at 14? Because I got this bit I'd like to run into that needs a bit of building up to so if I get the the light of it. I'll know, I'll know, I'll know, I'll know, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, their, their, their, their, the light, the light, the light, their, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, their, their, get, get, get, get, get, their, get, their, get, get, get, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their,int trying to do jonglers gigs, which are kind of the listener kind of the toughest clubs, I remember being booked for 15 minutes at Jonglers Camden and they said, what time do you want to lie? And I said, I'll have it at 12?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Because then at least I feel like I'm on the kind of... Yeah, you're done, you're coming into land. I've only got to get to 12 now. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And I went on and I was dying to silence. I was thinking, I was thinking this is getting really bad. And then the light comes and I'm like, do you know what? Even the hoe, it's going badly, it's gone fast. I've gone through it fast. Come off. They just lighted me at five. Oh my God. I've imagined you two do it.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Because you imagine how I did it. Because I did those gigs. You imagine how I did? I remember, I'll text you after, but one comedian. Just beep it out. Just beep it out. No, I will text. Because I go. You don't trust Michael. And basically. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I just. I, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just just just, I just, I just, I just just, I just, I just just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I'd. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did. Did, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. Did, I th. Did, I'd th. Did, I'd th. Did, I'd they just, I'll they'd they'd they're just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just like, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll text you out just beep out I know I will text because I don't trust Michael he said I don't think this is for you mate oh because it had gone badly fair enough but he went he went I don't make this is for you right on stuff you know do you write and stuff oh that's a horrible thing to say oh god and uh lucky now yeah he's a fucking right spot on you you know you know to you write you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you do do you you you do do do do to write you to write you to write you to write you to write you to write you to write to write to write to write to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try tto tto tel tel tel tel try tel try try tel try to tho thi thi thi thi thi thi th, that's a horrible thing to say. And, uh, lucky now. Yeah, he was fucking right, spot on.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Maybe you should listen to him, Joe. Thank you. And I said, then you look back and you go, those gigs were awful. Yeah, you can't do, you know, you can't stop comedy because those gigs are. I can't do comedy because those gigs. I can't do either. Because, you, you, you, you, you, you the fucking right right right, you, you, you the fucking, you the fucking, you, you the fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking th of the fucking fucking th of th of the fucking fucking fucking th of the fucking the fucking th right. Yeah, you're the fucking right, you're the fucking fucking fucking fucking the fucking right, you're the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking right, you're the fucking. Yeah, you're the fucking. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, you, you, you, you. You. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's fucking. It's fucking. It's. It's fucking. It's fucking. It's fucking. It's fucking. It's. It's. It's fucking. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just just just just just. It's just. It's just just. It's just just. It's just just. It's just just. It's to those gigs. It's just sort of banter and crowd management and crowd work and dick jokes. No exactly but then I even I was because I'm a bit more like conversational and personal I can sort of just sort of and a bit like laddy I can sort of like outlady them and but what I really isn't doing comedy is surviving doing some cheap dick jokes
Starting point is 00:52:04 and they it's just a bit of survival and then like you go to other gigs and you tour, that's when you sort of start doing actual bits and material, but like that is not fair enough, you may not be, you know, you may not be suitable, but they're not, it's brutal at that stage when you're like first in. Especially if you know, you want to attend cats, a cat does countdown is one of the best, you, you, you, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thian, thian, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. thi, thi, to, their, their, to, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and sort of that and you're doing sketch it's unbelievable everyone looks forward to it when you sat there on the desk and you come out the crowd go mad and we sit back and just watch an amazing bit of comedy every bit of that I've watched and applaud and laughed out would have died on its ass at jungleers yeah yeah so whatever jonglers it's it don't matter you know those kind of thus a th is is is is the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th I I thin thin thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's their thi. thi. thi. th. their their their their one their one. So. What their one. What their one. What their one. I's their. I I I I their. I I I I I I I the their. I I I the the the the the their. It's their their thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. ttttttttoday. tttttoday. ttttoday. tttttoday tho. tho. tho it's brilliant. And if you were listening to them you'd think this is shit but it's not.
Starting point is 00:52:47 It's not. People love it. But you know what, John, but if you could channel that person you are with your granddaughter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That, that candid gig, I remember dying really bad, it's the last, the last sort of all those gigs ever did. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I'd, I'd th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. th. th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th bad it's the last last sort of all those gigs ever did and I at the end it gone really badly I don't I've never done I've never done any teli at this point obviously and I said and I thought I'm gonna I'm gonna make my like this will get something from someone this end I said look and they're still they are booing and go and they're still booing they're still they're still booing and they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are bo they are bo bo boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are boo they are booing they are booing they are Yeah. And I went, and they're still shouting, and I go, look guys, you've been lovely. And they're still going, fuck off.
Starting point is 00:53:31 And I was really, you've been a lovely, lovely crowd. And I really appreciate it. And look, I'm going to be at the back, signing autographs. So please, please form a orderly cue. Please don't push to the front. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please the front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front front the front the front front the front, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please form a orderly cue please don't push to the front please like this going on and on and one bloke we were what your autograph you fucking shit I was like oh that was a fucking all right yeah yeah I can't you see that you're all shouting at me and I'm pretending it's going, you know, I was like, well, I was waiting to go on and a guy, one of the guys just watching was
Starting point is 00:54:12 chewing chewing gum and it fell out of his mouth. And I was like, if you're performing to people that can't keep food in their mouth, I'm sorry then. Do you know what I used to do with as a crowd, if I'd bit the back, you'd the the the the they, you'd would would would would would would would would would would would would would would their their their their their their their. I used to do with it as a crowd I didn't like, if I'd bit the back he walked through the crowd, if I needed a fart, I'd do it halfway down and then get on stage and then just watch the reaction of it. Because no one that's going to think it's me. You're all just going to go, no I didn't do it, well you must do it. It's come from over there and I just dropped dropped it and right and right and right and dropped it and right and dropped it and dropped it and right and dropped it and dropped it and right and dropped it's dropped it's dropped it's dropped it and right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right and I dropped dropped dropped dropped it's dropped it's dropped it's dropped it's dropped it's so much coming on. Oh, it's the final question, the last question.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Yeah. It's a bit more different because you sort of dealing with grown-up kids, but what's the thing Petra does as a parent that you find quite annoying and what does she do as a parent or grandparent that you find really sweet? And you find really, that's thi. Well, it's just her, her sweet is generally a relationship with her granddaughter is lovely and it's just like, that's obviously it's amazing and it's very, very, um, it's sort of just like, oh God, now that's lovely, isn't it? How amazing that they have that sort of, a bond that is just, it's just there and they don't, they don't, the little one doesn't really know why it's there. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah, it just works. Yeah, and annoying, God. She's only half about 12 steps away, so... She's in recovery. Oh, that was a lovely bit of business. That was a lovely. Do you know what, Rob, every now and then, you blow my mind. And when it happens, it's worth writing down, it really
Starting point is 00:55:52 is. Free kick and a quick pun every 12 years. I can't believe how much slower I got that than you, Josh. Because I was literally going, oh yeah, no, got it got it I think I think the annoying thing is how much she palms off the general running about to me probably because she she remembers the amount of running about with with her son she bedded in early and was like I'm the sitter downer. Okay yeah yeah yeah that's so experience paid off second time you know mean she was like if I if I... if I was like if I... if I... if I... if I... if I... if she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she palms she palms she, she, she, she, she palms she palms she palms she palms she palms she palms she palms she the the the the the the the the the the the she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she, if she, if she, if she, if she, if she was, if she was, if she was like, if she was like, if she was like, if she was like, if she was like, if she was like, if, if she was like, if, iftime, you know what I mean? She was like, if she knows that I'll jump up and run around after her, then she'll get to eight and that would be the default, but he doesn't know that. So I'll let him just do that.
Starting point is 00:56:43 So like, yeah, Granddad Joe, what did she call? Did she call you Grandad Joe? Granddad Joe? So I'll let him just do that. So he'll get it. What does he call? Did you call your Granddad Joe? Joey? Joey. So Joey will go and get it. Joey will do it, don't worry. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:56 And Joey is. Joey is exhausted. Joey is exhausted. Joey just wants to watch the Man City game. But he's currently rushing to the dishwasher. Well, Petra somehow has not done as much moving as I'd hope she would. I did a good one the other day. Oh, this fuck, so can I quickly tell you this? We're playing... What you call it, what's it, it's cheraids? I did a good one the other time.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Oh this fuck, so can I quickly tell you this? We're playing, what's it's charades? So like whoever, so whoever gets the answer has to go up next, you know? So it's like we're done with doing it basically. Yes, it petches up and she does film or whatever and she's going throw she's obviously doing frozen. Now her granddaughter is not getting it but I know if I get it it's my turn next so I'm going freeze, freeze, steel and she's looking at me going... I'm fucking sa going and I'm like frosty
Starting point is 00:58:08 I'm not going up again I've had six goes I'm not going up again I've had six goes I'm not going up for seven from From, oh, not moving. That's a great film, not moving. Not moving. Not moving. Not much happens, a bit of slow. Joe, thank you so much. Thank you so much. And is Cover the Covered available on Spotify? As you always say, Josh, the one and only place to listen if you ask me. Yeah, Copy of the cupboard and good luck on Sokerem. We're going to be watching your free kicks and your footwear. That's made it a lot worse. Great.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Cheers, Joe Wilkinson. Cheers, Joe Wilkinson. Cheers, I know. Cheers, to the to. Joe Wilkinson, big Joe Wilkinson fan. That was one of our ones when we got quite distracted, Rob. A little bit, got distracted. However, I quite enjoyed this distraction because everyone was talking about how good I was at football.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Of course, yeah, yeah, of course. So I just wasn't going to, as much as I want to stay on topic. No, at that point I was like, you know what, I'd rather just hear about thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to get to, to, to, to get to, to get to, to get to, to get to get, to get, to get to get, to get, to get, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thea, to to to to thea, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th was like, do you know what, I'd rather just hear about me more than his grandchild or stepson? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I just thought I could indulge that a little bit but also it's difficult though from still quite parenting too much. He met his stepson when he's an adult and now he's sort of you know step granddaugh's old Joe Wilkinson's a granddad. It's funny Joe Wilkinson's a grand-in. He's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, th. thso, he's, thso, thin, thin, th, thin, thin, th, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I I I I I, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's th, I's th, I's th. Yeah, I's th. Yeah, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho, yeah, I's funny Joe Wilkinson's a granddad. Yeah, he's weird, isn't it? And actually, what you often like, you'll trot out, not you, but me or you, will trot out in an interview when we're promoting this like about how you hear another side to people that you don't get in normal interviews. I'd say that was really, true of Joe Wilkinson here. Yeah, I think he's a little bit nervous between you and me a little bit nervous doing it because this is a sort of podcast where you are being really honest and open and he is an act he has a sort of character acts doesn't he yeah but to hear Joe
Starting point is 01:00:11 Wilkson talking about playing hide-and-seek you don't get that you don't get that on other podcast wrong you could tell us a bit sort of I'm so I'm a little bit nervous about it wasn't it like he likes to be a to be a little to be a little to be a little to be a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. I I I they. I'm so so they. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I to to to to to to they. I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I so I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I'm they I'm th I'm try I'm try try try. I'm tell you try. I'm try. I'm tell you try. I'm tell you to thi I'm to thi I thi I th like he likes to being a bit vulnerable about it but he's um yeah he's so funny yeah and give chat abicks a well give chatter bricks a world and we'll see on Tuesday Josh I see you Tuesday bye as ever exclusively on Spotify exclusively baby

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